#(you can kinda make a case for loki but he also had a thousand years of just being an unpopular rich kid and anything that happened between

[woulddieforloki]

if one more person tells me Wanda has never faced consequences in the MCU I'm gonna do something illegal

[fairydxll]

𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐉𝐨𝐲

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐒𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧

↳ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 | uh fighting? Lmk if anything.

↳ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 2124

𝐚/𝐧 ~ sorry I haven't updated this story in a while. But I'm back now!

masterlist | series masterlist | taglist

<- previous chapter

After a couple of days, Rory kinda got used to her new "home." Since Tony didn't know how long it would be before they went back to California, and with Pepper gone, they decided it was best if Rory just took a break from school.

Rory did eventually grow to like her new room. She was not allowed to leave the current floor, so she basically just spent all of her time there. Tony was gone all day and didn't get home until very late at night, meaning Rory had to have food delivered. She didn't mind, though. She figured that if they end up staying, she'll be able to tell Tony what all the good restaurants are.

Tony never told her anything about why they were here with the exception of, "Daddy has business."

So in order to pass the time, Rory would read or watch movies. She even took up drawing which turned out to be something she isn't too bad at.

This morning, Tony was already gone by the time Rory got up, so she got dressed and migrated to the living area. She sat on one of the couches near the large window and began sketching the tall buildings surrounding her.

As she finished the shading on one of the skyscrapers, she peered back up to see a tall man with long, black hair dressed in what looked like a Halloween costume standing on the terrace. Rory put down her sketchbook and looked closer. He was very tall and had large, golden horns that decorated the top of his head. She had no clue as to why this man was standing outside of her window on her father's building.

Rory looked to her right and noticed her father, in the Iron Man suit, land on the landing pad. The man just stood there, watching as machines swiftly removed the armor from Tony's body.

The strange man made his way into the room from the balcony. The room she was in. Rory didn't know what to do. She was frozen, scared. Instead of running away as any sane person would, Rory remained in her chair.

The large man entered the room. He studied his surroundings, his eyes eventually landing on Rory. "Who might you be?" He asked with disdain.

Rory could do nothing but blink at him, too afraid to speak. He opened his mouth to say more, only to be interrupted by the presence of Tony. "Rory, come here," Tony said blankly.

Rory immediately dropped her things and ran to her father's side. Tony wrapped his arm around her protectively, hoping to shield her with his body.

The man watched this all happen before finally speaking, "Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity." He spoke as if she weren't there.

"Actually I'm planning to threaten you," Tony responded. Rory couldn't sense any different emotions other than his natural sarcastic tone.

"You should have left your armor on for that," the man bantered, walking closer to Tony and Rory.

"Yeah," Tony pushed Rory behind the bar. "It's seen a bit of mileage, and you've got the glow stick of destiny." Rory crouched down below the bar and pulled her knees into her chest. She couldn't help but let tears stain her cheeks, afraid of what was happening. "Would you like a drink?" Tony asked the man as he walked behind the bar, actively trying to ignore you in hopes you wouldn't become a target.

Rory heard the other man laugh. "Stalling me won't change anything," he said. If Rory knew what it meant, she would describe their conversation as passive-aggressive.

"No, no. threatening." Tony began making himself a drink. "No drink? You sure? I'm having one.

"The Chitauri are coming. Nothing will change that." His words sounded like gibberish to Rory. "What have I to fear?"

Rory watched her father casually make a drink as if nothing was wrong. "The Avengers. That's what we call ourselves. We're sort of like a team." Rory had no idea what he was going on about. ""Earth's mightiest heroes"-type thing."

"Yes, I've met them."

"Yea," Tony's smile helped calm Rory down. He had to have the situation under control, right? "It takes us a while to get any traction, I'll give you that one. But let's do a headcount, here. Your brother, the demi-god," demi-god? "A super-soldier, a living legend who kind of lives up to the legend." He secretly slipped a metal-looking band on each wrist.

"A man with breathtaking anger-management issues, a couple of master assassins, and you, big fella," none of his words were making any sense. "You've managed to piss off every single one of them."

"That was the plan."

"Not a great plan," Tony walked past you and out from the bar. "When they come, and they will, they'll come for you."

"I have an army."

"We have a hulk."

Rory finally gathered enough courage and stood up carefully. She peeked her head over the bar to watch the men while also trying to stay out of the way. Tony was approaching the man as they spoke; the man keeping his ground.

"I thought the beast had wandered off," the man said.

"You're missing the point. There's no throne," Tony's voice rose slightly. "There is no version of this where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damn well sure we'll avenge it."

Tony took a sip of his drink while the man took a few steps closer, a scowl spreading across his features. "How will your friends have time for me when they're so busy fighting you?"

For the first time since this scene began, Tony looked scared. The man brought his scepter-looking thing up and tapped it against Tony's chest with a clang noise. The man's face dropped for a second before he tried a second time, and then a third. "This usually works."

Tony didn't look scared anymore. "Well, performance issues, it's not uncommon. One out of five--" his sentence was cut short when the man forcefully grabbed Tony's throat and threw him onto the floor. Rory squealed and then immediately covered her mouth.

The man turned his head in Rory's direction with a puzzled look. He turned away from her as soon as Tony stood up and went for his neck again. "You will all fall before me," he said.

"Deploy!" Tony called before the man threw him out the window, shattering the glass. Rory screamed with all her might. Did she just watch her Dad be murdered? What was he going to do to her?

Rory hid behind the bar once more, watching and listening closely to her surroundings. A loud sound rippled through the room causing Rory to throw her hands over her ears to block out the noise. She peeked over the bar and saw nothing but more shards of glass and broken furniture.

The man stared Rory down. "Who are you?"

Rory gulped, "who are you?"

He chuckled. "I am Loki, of Asgard. I'm surprised you have not yet heard of me." His tone was a lot softer with her than it was with her father. "What is your name, little one?"

"Rory," she nervously answered his question. "My name is Rory."

"Let me guess; Stark's child?" She didn't say anything. Rory simply nodded. "Ah I see," he gave you an almost heartwarming smile. "Come here, Rory."

Fearing she had no other choice, Rory walked over to Loki and he crouched down to meet her gaze. He smiled at her. Rory watched her father fly up behind him. She was more than thrilled to see her father alive and more tears fell from her eyes.

"And one more thing," Loki's face dropped and he spun around to face Tony. "Get away from my daughter!" Tony shot at Loki, sending him flying backward. Rory jumped out of the way, too stunned to do anything else. With Loki knocked out, Tony looked towards his daughter, "Rory go hide, now!" He flew away into the sky, and Rory wasted no time in running to her bedroom.

She slammed the door shut and locked it. She looked around her room for anything that she could put in front of the door to make it harder to reach her. Rory tried to move the couch, but it was no use. It was too heavy for a ten-year-old to manage. She tugged on her roots as she spotted her desk chair. Once it was securely tucked under the knob, Rory ran over to her window to watch what was unfolding.

Rory couldn't help herself as she began to sob. She was afraid and she was alone. There was nothing she could do to help. Tons of thousands of aliens flooded the skies and streets of New York as Rory sat up in her bedroom, watching. She was sobbing uncontrollably as she pressed her face and hands into the large window.

More loud noises were flowing from the living area into Rory's bedroom and Rory could do nothing to stop them. She hoped that the man who called himself Loki was gone and that her Dad was alright.

At this moment, Rory really felt like a child. She felt small and helpless. Lonely and afraid. There was nothing else she could do except watch. She had no clue as to what she was watching either, which was not making her feel any better.

At long last, the aliens seemed to dissipate and things seemed to calm down. It looked to Rory like the fight was over. But who won?

Rory was drawn away from her thoughts by the sound of her father's voice calling her name. She nearly sprinted out. She ran up to Tony and engulfed him in the tightest bear hug she could manage. He was still in his suit and covered in dirt, but neither seemed to mind.

"I was afraid," Rory murmured into his neck.

"I know, bubs." They pulled away from the hug and Rory got the chance to really see the other people in the room.

There was a giant-sized man with green skin, a man with a shield, a man with a bow and arrow, a man with a red cape and long hair, and what looked like Natalie, only with shorter hair. They looked odd. As if they were straight out of a movie. She noticed Loki in handcuffs. He looked angry and sad at the same time. Rory didn't really know what he did, but she knew he lost and her dad won.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Tony held a silver case in one hand and Rory's in the other as he walked alongside the other Avengers waiting to send Loki away. Tony had made it very clear that from now on, Rory would not be leaving his side.

Rory let go of her Dad's hand to let him deal with the case. Thor, as he had told Rory to call him, led Loki a few feet away from everyone else. He waited for Loki to grab hold of the glass container for the Tesseract. Before she knew it, the pair had disappeared in a storm of blue.

Once everything else was settled, Tony reached for Rory's hand again and walked her over to the rest of the Avengers. "Rory there's some people I'd like you to meet," he motioned to the team. "That's Capsicle, Legolas, Jolly Green, and the Triple Imposter. This is Rory." The others shook their heads at Tony's nicknames.

"Steve," the tall, blonde man smiled and Rory shook his hand.

"Bruce," the shorter man with grey hair politely smiled and waved.

"Yea," Nat showed you a friendly smile to which you returned. "Nice to finally meet you, officially."

"And I'm Clint," the last man with spiky hair and sunglasses introduced himself.

"Hi," you said, shyly and waved at them all.

"Bubs, you go wait in the car I'll be there in a sec," said Tony.

"Okay. It was nice meeting you all!" You said as you walked to the car.

"You ready to go, kiddo?" Tony asked as he got in the car and fastened his seatbelt.

"Are we going home? Like, back to Malibu?" you asked as he started the car and pulled out.

"Yea," he smiled. "I think we deserve a break."

"What about the tower?"

"We're working on it. It'll be fixed in no time."

"Good," you sighed

"Good?"

"I don't mind it anymore. I don't think it would be so bad if we moved here."

"Really?" He raised his eyebrows.

"Really."

Next chapter ->

｡���:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ��

🏷 ↴

Marvel:

↪︎ @sunday-kindoflove @1-800-simpforluke @tomhollandslilslut @elizabethrosecresswell @lestersglitterglue @devilswaldorf @whitechapelpsychobabble @hoodpankow @summerillyxx @mycosmicparadise @captian-kenobiwan @msmimimerton

Peter Parker:

↪︎ @bxtchboy69 @doll-skin-n-teeth @victoriaholland @grecala @rorybutnotgilmore @hallecarey1 @poguesvixen @chipot-lol @myguiltypleasures21 @dylanstilinskiposts @boba-king-iroh @pantherhappy @whoschantel @imawhoreforu @dracomalfoys-wh0re

Tony Stark:

↪︎ @hermayone @secretsthathauntus

if your user is crossed out, contact me so I can fix it

[lavender-lotion]

Fanfic Writer Asks

I was tagged by @asarcasticwitch - thank you so much!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

737, which is an ugly number :(

2) What��s your total AO3 word count?

1,890,054 words, which ... AH I might actually get to 2mil by the end of the year!

3) How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

thank you, ao3 dashboard for this handy list:

Teen Wolf (TV) (377)

X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies) (187)

Marvel Cinematic Universe (93)

Glee (29)

Young Justice (Cartoon) (11)

Kingsman (Movies) (9)

Original Work (9)

The Avengers (Marvel Movies) (8)

Criminal Minds (US TV) (7)

Thor (Movies) (6)

Deadpool (Movieverse) (5)

Weird City (TV) (5)

X-Men (Original Timeline Movies) (4)

Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters (Anime & Manga) (4)

Ragnarok (TV 2020) (4)

Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies) (3)

Teen Wolf (TV) RPF (3)

Iron Man (Movies) (3)

The House in the Cerulean Sea - T. J. Klune (2)

Venom (Marvel Movies) (1)

Stranger Things (TV 2016) (1)

Captain America (Movies) (1)

Fate: The Winx Saga (TV) (1)

Power Rangers Ninja Storm (1)

X-Men - All Media Types (1)

Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan (1)

Riverdale (TV 2017) (1)

X-Men Evolution (1)

Push (2009) (1)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

With You, I Belong

Mates and Marriage Proposals

The Perceptions of You and I

(baby) maybe that matters more

Breathing You In

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

ughh so, fair warning, I have a lot of works. I definitely do not remember all of them, however I do have four works tagged as Unhappy Ending and then another nine works tagged Ambiguous/Open Ending, which is way more than I’d thought I had! 

however, there is one fic that stands out in mind when I think about which of my works has the angstiest ending! Heed the tags :)

And Now?

Teen And Up Audiences | Major Character Death | M/M | Teen Wolf (TV) | Chris Argent/Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski | Chris Argent, Peter Hale, Stiles Stilinski | Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Canonical Character Death, Peter Hale Dies, Unhappy Ending

Stiles Stilinski finds out who his soul mates are by setting one on fire.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

ughhhhhhhh I truly do not know??? 

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I don’t write many crossovers at all! I have some mcu/teen wolf cross overs, I have a teen wolf/glee cross over plotted (that i’ll probably never write), but my strangest is probably this teen wolf/x-men cross over!

what-ifs (don’t fuckin’ matter to no one)

Teen And Up Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply | M/M | X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies)Teen Wolf (TV) | Logan (X-Men)/Sheriff Stilinski | Logan (X-Men), Sheriff Stilinski, Stiles Stilinski | Memory Loss, Telepathy, Mentions of War, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Child Neglect, Grief/Mourning, Telepath Stiles Stilinski, Telekinetic Stiles Stilinski, Nightmares, Cuddling & Snuggling

There’s somethin’ there. Somethin’ that has him sleeping curled up on his side with a pillow tucked to his chest, somethin’ that has him splittin’ up his food ‘fore he eats ‘cause he don’t need as much as a baseline. Has him turnin’ to tell someone shit that ain’t there. There’s just...there’s just somethin’ there that’s missin’ and it shouldn’t be missin’.

8) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

sometimes! I don’t write a lot of smut because I actively dislike writing it, but the smut I do write is super super soft and sappy and full of emotions lol

9) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I respond to almost all of my comments! comments i won’t respond to: negative comments, unsolicited criticism, comments that aren’t relevant to the fic itself, comments simply asking for more 

I love love love responding to comments! I love every single comment that I get and I want to show how much I appreciate getting them, and personally I think responding to comments is the only way to do that! everyone has different comment philosophies, but for me, if someone is taking the time to comment on my fic like I so badly want them to, I think it’s important to respond to show my appreciation! 

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

aha YEAH I DO. this past weekend I actually got a number of shitty comments and had to file two ao3 abuse reports for harrasment (: I love it

I am no stranger to hate comments. I write copious amounts of age difference fic. I write copious amounts of incest. I am not going to apologize nor am I going to feel bad for enjoying either.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

ughhh I sure as heck hope not! 

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! I have a number of them :) I always always do my best to make sure it’s linked to the original fic, AND that I add a tag noting that there’s a translation!

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have made a few attempts! the only successful attempt is there's nothing i wouldn't do to make you feel my love which is a collaboration with @flightinflame, not quite a co-write!

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I am unable to answer this lol I don’t have an all-time favourite. mutli-shipping forever.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

god okay this is such a good question! imma ramble about a few so bear with me here! (i may have 700 posted works but I also have a few hundreds wips & ideas floating around in my gdrive, too)

gone & past - this is a starrish wip i’d started in 2017. I ended up deleting it from ao3 to rewrite it and never got there, but I have about 20k of content! I built my home, inside of you - thorki human au with college jock thor and high school dancer loki. i’ve got a start and nothing else Sheriff Stilinski Gets Some Sweet Sweet Lovin’ - massive wip where... well, the sheriff fucks his way through the entire pack. I want to write it but. trans allison au - this is an au where allison is trans and that changes the entire season 1 canon. it features stallison, petopher, and a looooooong ass outline that will never exist beyond my wips You Fill My Heart (With Such a Gentle Love) - this is a stetopher a/b/o au with pregnant omega stiles and alpha pair petopher falling in love. it started as a labour of love to someone I no longer have in my life. I have about 30k, a full outline, but idk. makes me sad to think about it they slipped briskly into an intimacy from which they never recovered - this is my big x-men first class rewrite that I honestly don’t think i’ll ever finish. I have a few thousand words, a full outline, but no love lost for cherik so. doubtful Physiotherapy (I'll Be Your Baby) - this was a fic I was SO excited about, and then it kinda flopped and stayed a wip because I didn’t have a plan or the motivation to finish it. it’s a winterspider human au with amputee bucky and science twink peter that I adore the premise of but who knows breathing you in chapter 2 - I have a massive second chapter planned for this fic but the first did so good so fast I am way too intimidated to write more in case everyone hates it lmao

there are more arjgoirjeg there are so many more but these are the bigger ones I can think of right now!

16) What are your writing strengths?

ughhhhh I hate answering this because I have, like, seriously bad imposter syndrome around my writing BUT I do think i’m able to weave poignant backstory into narration & i write strong, distinctive narrative voices!

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

literally I can’t write settings at all. I don’t know how people vividly describe settings but I absolutely cannot do that and it’s one of the reasons I haven’t delved into original fiction. I need to write the town my characters live in?? fuck that imma just use a location we’ve seen on screen & let readers fill in the blanks lmao

I am also shit at long fic. I don’t have the mind for long and interesting plots, and I don’t have the focus to write long fic (which is why every long fic i’ve ever posted has taken me literal years to complete smh).

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I like it! both as a reader and as a writer. as a writer, I generally only use a few words, or small sentences that can be understood by context, and I generally don’t 

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

the last thing I wrote and posted was this one:

Languish

Teen And Up Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply | M/M | X-Men (Original Timeline Movies) | John Allerdyce/Bobby Drake | Bobby Drake, John Allerdyce, X-Men (Team) | Not Canon Compliant, Future Fic, Established Relationship, Summer, Teasing, Fluff

It was a really, really hot Saturday, and most of the school was outback, enjoying the sun, not caring about the heat, and having the time of their life.

Everyone but Bobby, of course, who was melting away.

“I just want to remind everyone that I make ice. I am the Ice Man. I am not built for the heat and soon enough I’m going to melt away into nothing.”

20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

this is another impossible question! I have a few I really enjoy, but I really don’t think I have a favourite that stands out above the rest!

i’m tagging: @4magicandmayhem @insertmeaningfulusername @midrashic @wynnefic @ikeracity @stronglyobsessed @elledelajoie @wolfnprey​ & anyone else who sees it and wants to do it! seriously! go ahead :)

blank questions below the read more!

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

3) How many fandoms have you written for, and what are they?

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

7) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

8) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

9) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14) What’s your all-time favorite ship?

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

16) What are your writing strengths?

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

20) What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

[delyth88]

Loki episode 5 rewatch

It’s been a busy week so it wasn’t until yesterday that I had a chance to watch Episode 5 again. And I was a little worried I might not like it as much as I did on first watch, but thankfully I did still find a lot to like about this episode.

Spoilers below...

Firstly, I think it’s taken this long, but I’ve finally gotten used to this new variant of our Loki. To this overly emotive, sweetly stupid at times, often bewildered version of the character.  Let me be clear, he is absolutely not being presented in the same was at the first three films, Infinity War, or even Ragnarok. But I’m finding him easier to watch now that I have no hopes or expectations that he will be the Loki I was hoping we’d get to see again.  Sure, I’m sad they didn’t give us a continuation of the Loki we’re grown to love, but this guy seems to be starting to find his feet, and I’m curious to see what his potential is now.

I was again struck by the increased sense of purpose (no pun intended) of this episode.  It seems to be going places more so than previous episodes were. And again I loved the opening sequence and the music as we travel through the TVA and then out into the Void. It did make me wonder whether the destroyed city was actually a version of the timeline where Loki/Thanos win the Battle of New York, and that’s as far as the significance of that set goes.  My hunch is that we won’t see that long shot of Loki from the trailers in post-apocalyptic New York. They opted for the mirror of the Avengers scene instead as the way Loki finds himself in this place.

I laughed at Loki’s little rant this time too. Particularly the line “plus an alligator, that I’m heartbroken to report I didn’t even find all that strange!”.  In fact there were a few moment when I felt we were getting a little bit of Loki’s old humour. Such as, his “Delightful.” In response to kid Loki talking about cannibalistic pirates, “This is a nightmare.” and “Don’t die isn’t a plan, it’s a general demand of living”.

I do wonder though if this is just about comparison with the other Lokis?  Like they’re all so very much more on the extreme end of comical that it makes our Loki seem the straight guy in comparison? *shrug*

After several days I am still taken by Old Loki and his story.  And on watching it again I was able to appreciate the little moments leading up to his fighting Alioth. He gives the impression of being just so Over It and his crazy comics outfit also directs the audience away from how much he actually cares.  For example he is really quite upset at Lokis in general and presumably also himself after the betrayal by Boastful Loki. He says “We cannot change. We’re broken. Every version of us. Forever.”

And he seems quite affected by Mobius’ offhand comment that “it’s never too late to change”.

And then that look back towards Loki and Sylvie as Alioth approaches.

Gah! This is the kind of thing I wanted for our Loki.  I don’t have the right words to describe it, but it’s partly the back story, partly the change of heart, partly the stakes, the emotional depth. I’m really quite sad that we won’t see more of him.  :( 

@scintillatingshortgirl19​ you asked me what I thought of Loki’s response when Sylvie asks, “How do I know that in the final moments you won’t betray me?”

“Listen Sylvie, I…” Loki pauses and takes a deep breath “I betrayed everyone who ever loved me.  My father, my brother, my home.  I know what I did, and I know why I did it. And that’s not who I am anymore. Okay? I won’t let you down.”

To be honest on my first watch I think I just let it slide over me as yet another one of those lines where they keep telling us what we’re supposed to think of Loki (whether it’s true or not).  I think Episode 4 might have broken me – I didn’t even blink an eyelid.  I think I’ve just heard so many people saying things that I think are absolutely wrong about Loki that I’m just… used to it now?  I dunno. Maybe it was just my mood, or the fact that there were enough other things I enjoyed in the episode that I could ignore it.

But since you pointed it out I’ve been thinking about it and after my rewatch I kinda think Loki has been a little bit influenced by recent events and conversations.  He’s just watched with embarrassment several different versions of himself strike bargains and then betray each other, in such an extreme example of this behaviour that it seemed absurdly comic. Boastful Loki even says “I betrayed you, and now I’m king.” And as they leave the Loki fight behind Old Loki says “We lie and we cheat! We cut the throats of every person who trusts us! And for what! Power!”  So I can kinda see why betrayal is on his mind.  

And perhaps this is something he’s been thinking about for a while now.  Since he tried to strike a bargain with Sylvie before he even really knew her. Old Loki ask if Loki trusts Sylvie and he says” “She’s the only one [of the Loki variants] I do trust! “

But I guess the way I interpreted it is not just literal betrayal like he just watched with the other Loki variants, but also letting people down. Letting himself down. In this context betraying his father would be the events of Thor 1 where he betrays his father’s trust by letting the frost giants into the weapons vault (I think he’s talking about Odin here, not Laufey), and then by not being able to be a good king in the eyes of his father or even his own standards while Odin was in the Odinsleep.  I don’t think he would be thinking of the moment where he lets Laufey into Odin’s chamber because he always intended to betray Laufey and save Odin. Although maybe he feels guilt for that too, in terms of lying to his father.  In regards to his brother, I’d consider any of the times Loki is acting against his brother’s interests, in a serious way such as the times that he was evading and fighting against Thor in Avengers, or when he sent the Destroyer in Thor 1 as betrayals of a sort, and the frost giants at the coronation again. And in regards to his ‘home’ I assume from his perspective this is again about the coronation and the events that led to the destruction of the Bifrost and as far as he’s aware war with Jotunhiem.  Perhaps he’s thinking of the moment when Odin says to Thor “... you are unworthy of the loved ones you have betrayed!” Potentially he’s also thinking of Ragnarok and his actions in causing it after what he read in his file in the TVA. Personally I think he knows it was necessary but still feels a ton of guilt about being the one to actually do it. In this case it’s a betrayal in action but not in heart.

So I think he’s kinda focusing on the guilt he feels. And I think this is why he feels it could extend to Frigga, although he doesn’t mention it I think we as the audience are meant to assume it.  But again, this is in terms of the guilt he feels at a future version of himself inadvertently causing Frigga’s death – as he’s heard this story second-hand from Mobius. You know how if you start feeling bad about something it’s very easy to expand that to a whole bunch of other things you’ve done?  These are the times he feels guilty for his actions in hindsight.

I also think he’s kinda lumping a bunch of things together under the umbrella of the wording of the question that Sylvie has asked.  I think if she’d used a different word he would have echoed that back to her too.

I also think he starts of with “Listen Sylvie, I..” because he was about to defend himself, refuse to acknowledge that he would do such a thing and minimise it, by saying some version of “I would never do that”.  But he catches himself and takes the opposite approach of laying all his faults out plain. Admitting in a slightly exaggerated way that he has betrayed people in the past and he knows it, which he considers is more likely to be believed, and that he won’t betray Sylvie because he’s changed since then.

So I don’t know if I really have a conclusion to draw from this, but I think Loki is exaggerating out of guilt. 

But this is also one of those lines that where the character is telling us not showing us.  Which seems to have started in Ragnarok and is being continued in this series. It’s frustrating, I don’t like it, but it seems this is what they do now.  :/

***

So, it’s taken me a whole ‘nother day to get to finish writing this, and I’ve realised that this is the first episode in a while that has been on my mind since I watched it.  I’m actually invested again! Which I was very much not after Episode 4.

This episode had another piece of Loki’s story, in the form of Old Loki, and that was wonderful, and tragic.  And we’re starting to get somewhere with the plot now.  

And unlike in previous episodes where it looked like they’d left hints of things to come but that turned out not to be the case, I actually feel like we might get payoff for all those comments about Loki’s magic.  Probably not in a way I’d prefer, but at this point I’ll take any sort of change that gives Loki a bit more control over his life.

I’m also feeling again like this story matters.  With episodes 3 and 4 I wasn’t really feeling it.  I hope I’m not too disappointed. lol

I still don’t like the romance, but having resigned myself to the fact this is what they’re doing last week I was better able to watch this.  The fact that Sylvie is as utterly incompetent at personal relationships as our Loki does make it more tolerable to me, and if I take it as some weird AU (which lets be fair is exactly what this is) it is kinda cute. In a way I like that they’re both late 30s/early 40s in appearance, not teens or twenty-somethings. It adds this extra layer to their awkwardness and I think brings home how weird tit is that these thousand year old beings don’t know how to be friends if you can do the mental jumps required to believe this in the first place. I still want it to be platonic or at least not taken any further.  I will gag if they kiss in the finale. 

[codenamewitcher]

I just want y’all to know that this first started out as a post on how Sylvie’s character arc didn’t add up but as I got further into this it turned into an analysis of everything that has happened so far (episode four has yet to release) and how I would love how Sylvie comes about the TVA and her hatred for them.

Before I get into how I would love her arc to happen, I am going to talk about the TVA and how time works in the MCU real quick to understand why I would love things to go these ways and why I hope that the inconsistencies with Sylvie, Loki, and the TVA don’t just become a huge plot hole. I’m also placing a read more because it’s a lot that I’m going to be talking about.

So for starters, we know that the TVA stresses that they have to move quickly in removing a the variant and resetting the nexus event before it crosses the red line and can no longer be reset creating a multiverse. We also know that time works differently at the TVA (its a null time zone in the comics) and from Thor: Ragnarok we know that time can move differently on other planets (i.e. Loki falling from the Bifrost seconds before Thor did but still spending weeks on Sakaar before Thor arrives even though they fell from it seconds apart).

However, from what we have seen in the four times the TVA arrives at an nexus event, it appears they have anywhere from minutes to maybe even a few hours to reset the branch before its too late, but it does have to happen within the day the event took place. We can assume this as we first see them catch the L1130 Loki Variant in the same day he broke from the Scared Timeline (we can’t say for sure how long it was on Earth before the TVA arrested him as we don’t know how long he was laying in the desert for but it was long enough for the native people surrounding where he landed in Gobi Desert to arrive). The second time, is in 1549 France and it seems like the TVA arrived minutes or seconds after that nexus event happened as the child with the candy from the future was still at the church. We see the very same thing happen at the 1858 Salina and 1985 Wisconsin nexus events where the TVA arrives minutes after the event or within the same time of day on the same day of the event. 

Now why am I mentioning all of this, well because the events that happened in Sylvie's life compared to Loki’s life are similar but very different compared to what, how, and when it took place in his. 

They are similar in the since that they both are adopted, both are children of Laufey, both are experts in magic welding, both are originally named Loki, and both wear similar clothing and headdresses. But that’s so far where the similarities end, they appear to be the same person but had different upbringings. 

Sylvie grew up without knowing her adoptive mother, her adopted mother either died or left early in her life, and she grew up knowing that she was adopted as well. 

Meanwhile Loki didn’t find out that he was adopted until much later in his life and he had a very close relationship with his adoptive mother who was very involved in his life and also didn’t die until much later in his life as well. 

These time differences in when Sylvie and Loki experience these things in their life are large as things happened earlier in Sylvie’s life and they happened later on in Loki’s life. 

Their personalities are even similar and but different at the same time because you can see that Loki doesn’t really plan on how he’s going to get to his end goal, he kinda just goes with the flow while Sylvie plans this shit in detail. Also Sylvie seems to be more serious about things while Loki jokes around and isn’t so serious (now this is what we have learned about Sylvie in episode three so far).

Now where I’m getting with this is, the TVA shows that the order of events in Loki’s life is what is supposed to happen in the Scared Timeline and not the order of events in Sylvie’s. 

Now a nexus event could’ve been created by Sylvie’s adoptive parents telling her she was adopted earlier and her mother dying or going away earlier than what was supposed to happen, but the way that Sylvie talks about her life is that she grew up with this knowledge. And so far its consistent that the TVA needs to show up within minutes, hours, or within the same day the nexus event took place in. And even if Sylvie grew up on another planet other than Asgard or even on Asgard where time can move differently than on Earth it wouldn’t make much of a difference as the TVA needs to show up close in time to when the nexus event happened and not years later where Sylvie would grow up with this knowledge which would cause a multiverse event. 

Now when I started this, it was to point out how Sylvie didn’t really seem like a Loki Variant due to the large time gaps in how key moments in Loki’s life happened happened later on than in Sylvie’s. At first I was thinking that Sylvie and Loki are connected some way but she may not be a Loki Variant, like she could’ve been from another universe, one that was destroyed by the Time-Keepers because at the time of the multiversal war, we don’t now how far into the future those six timelines were. Loki is a thousand years old or close to it, so those timelines could have already been that advanced and we could have 6 different versions of Loki’s that lived different lives but are still similar enough be like “Hey, that’s a Loki.” But as I got further into this analysis, I realized that was a reach, it could still happen, but its the most unlikely to me out of the theories I came up with.

My second theory was that Sylvie was caught by the TVA as a male version of Loki as they refer to her as “he”, but the moment she escaped, she changed into and became Sylvie. However that still doesn’t fully explain the differences in the order of events in her life compared to Loki’s.

Now my third theory and one of two on how I would love to see Sylvie’s back story play out. So what if when Sylvie’s mother died/left earlier in her life, she was told about being adopted within that same time frame. At first I thought, what if the TVA arrested her, but another thing I’ve noticed with the TVA and responding to nexus events is that the TVA only arrests the variant and not someone effected by the variant’s decisions as they didn’t arrest the child from 1549 France, the festival goers of 1985 Wisconsin, or the Gobi Desert natives in 2012, they solely went after the variant in each of those cases. So now there’s the possibility that Sylvie witnessed her parents (or parent) getting arrested by the TVA and that branch got reset. She could have escaped the reset somehow and is now seeking vengeance for her family, and could explain the “This isn’t about you.” line from the end of episode two.

My fourth theory and the second one I would love to see happen with Sylvie’s back story play is that somehow she ended up working for the TVA, got her memories suppressed like the other agents/hunters, and then ultimately found out about the memory suppression. This would explain how she doesn’t have very many memories of her mother just “blips of a dream” as she says in episode three without her mother dying or disappearing while she was at a young age and this will still allow for the order of events to play out how they should be in Sylvie’s life according to the Scared Timeline. And to explain how the topic of being told about her adoption by her parents could still happen with this, 2012 Loki asked Sylvie if they told her about the adoption, she says yes and then asks Loki the same question and his response is, “No. I mean, they did, eventually”. We know that Loki in the Scared Timeline eventually accepts his adoption and being an Odinson so Sylvie could’ve very well accepted this rather it was in the Scared Timeline or during her years of plotting the take down of the TVA.

But anyways these are just some thoughts I’ve had, my process of these thoughts and understanding this world, and my hope that they don’t let this be a huge plot hole because it has so much potential and shouldn’t be ignored. I know that this is a lot, its literally a weeks worth of thoughts I’ve had since the third episode, but thanks for staying this long for my spill if you did or if any of you did.

[realityhelixcreates]

Lasabrjotr Chapter 76: Interlocking Horns

Chapters: 76/?

Fandom: Thor (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe

Rating: pg

Relationships: Loki x Reader

Characters: Loki (Marvel),

Additional Tags: Post-Endgame: Best Possible Ending (Canon-Divergent), Culture Clash Imminent, Protective Dad

Summary:  You and your father discuss your living situation, and you mull over your thoughts on Buridag.

Loki was agitated when he lay beside you that night. You'd spent most of the evening showing Tara and your father around to all the places you spent your time. The library, the training grounds, the courtyards, the banquet halls, the common rooms, and even the throne room, which was empty at the time. Over dinner, you told sanitized versions of your adventures; the battle with the Huldra and the Frost Giant, The magical illusion lessons, and the magic you were also capable of, how you had exploded a plate, and met the legendary Sleipnir, whom Tara demanded to see as soon as possible. You showed them your knife, and told them about your armor, and your glorious helmet.

Your father was not terribly impressed by the food. “Not enough seasonings.” he declared, and you told him about the time you'd pranked Loki by putting chili pepper in his meal. He got a good laugh out of your description of the composed prince turning purple, and trying to pretend to all onlookers that everything was just fine.

“Hope he didn't get mad at you.” Tara said.

“Nah. The thing about Loki is that he actually appreciates it when you get the best of him. He likes getting legitimately got. I get the feeling he had to deal with a lot of sycophants growing up, while at the same time being overshadowed in everything he did. Loki can sense lies, did you know that? He can just tell when you're lying. Imagine growing up surrounded by people who don't even like you, but will constantly lie to your face about it. And keep doing it even after they know you can tell they're lying. And they're still doing it! It's wild! Some of these aristocrats are stupidly bigoted, and they keep trying to fool Thor or Loki into making laws that exclude humans from things, but both of them have personal reasons not to do that, as well as political reasons. I mean, there's seven billion of us, we're not gonna be excluded from anything on this planet, and it's ludicrous to even try. But I guess they've been at this for so long, that they can't even think of doing things any differently.

That's part of where I come in. Loki says I represent an inevitability. That humans like us will come to be a part of Asgard, just like the Vanir and Alfar did before us. Some of these nobles want to put that off as long as possible, but I think Loki and Thor are right; better get that integration started early.”

“Then why is there only you?” your father pointed out, “Why not integrate more humans in a group? Why not those people in the weird lodges outside the city?”

“Couple reasons.” you said, “first off, I think they wanted to make sure humans and Asgardians could be culturally compatible. Like, that we could stand to live with one another.”

“Yeah, saw some of that cultural compatibility just a little while ago.” your father grumbled.

“We used to do stuff like that too, you know. And until recently, too. I think there's still some places that do dowries and such, just not us. But if you think about it, Asgardians live to be thousands of years old, and they used to visit Earth a lot. There was cultural exchange for sure. It's just that we change and evolve culturally at the speed of light compared to them. He really should have asked me about it though, I coulda told him it didn't work that way. He does love surprises, and he wants to preserve his culture, but we could have at least discussed it.”

“You discuss things with him? And he listens?”

“Sometimes. That's a part of my job too; advising, on human matters especially. That's why he should have asked, but I think he just really wanted to impress you.”

Your father rolled his eyes. You sighed. This was going to be difficult.

“Dad, this is so important. Doing this for me is unprecedented. I know it doesn't look like it, but we've been working hard, and dealing with some tough situations, but we've come through them all, and kept going. He's proud of me, I'm proud of me, and I am okay with my life here. I'm happy with it even. I miss you, and I know you miss me, but I like my work here.”

“You've almost died three times! In one year! Three times! Keeping you alive is the most basic possible thing, and he's almost failed three times!” he exclaimed.

“His only fault is not seeing the future, then!” You exclaimed back. “Who could predict that a crazy man would come all the way out here to try and assassinate literally anyone he saw? Who could expect that one of their own people would be so monumentally stupid as to hit me right in front of him? Why would anyone ever think that there were giants sleeping under our feet for a thousand years? How could anyone plan for any of that?”

“You're starting to talk like them, you know.” Tara pointed out. “You're picking up the accent. Your vocabulary's changed.”

“I've been studying a lot. I hadn't noticed the accent though. Is it very obvious?”

“Eh, it's no big deal. If you'd just moved here on your own, you'd probably sound kinda Icelandic anyway. I just think it's cute, you sounding like all these high-falutin', fancy alien folks.”

You wanted to thank her. For years and years, when you and your father had started arguing, she would brazenly interrupt with something completely off topic, and completely derail the dispute. Your father was as passionate an individual as you were, which was probably where you got it in the first place, but Tara had always known when to interject.

“The point is,” you said, much more calmly, “is that the world has gotten weird. And since I've been studying, I've been finding out that it was weird in the past too. We've just been coasting by on a short period of relative calm, but it's not going to last forever. In fact, it's over. There is an entire alien species  living on Earth now. Nobody has to like them, but they are here. Loki can't demand forgiveness, and he's told me he's prepared to accept that there may be people who never accept him, no matter what he does. But he is doing things. He's doing good for his people; he knows how to do that. He's trying to do his best by me, and I'm helping him to know how to do that. I clearly need to communicate with him a bit more about that. He doesn't have to do any of this, but he chose to. From the beginning, he chose to do this. I mean, don't get me wrong, he sucked at it in the beginning; he had no idea what he was doing.  He was kind of an overbearing creep, and when I got hurt the first time, I swear, he was inches away from locking me away in a closet somewhere so no one else could hurt me.”

Your father raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, he totally freaked out. I had to convince him that there was no way he could protect me from everything, but he sure wanted to. I wasn't gonna let that happen though. Maybe I can't leave, but I haven't let this place become a prison either.”

“Baby girl, I'm proud of you, don't ever think I'm not, but a father really never cares for a man who takes his daughter away.” your father said, “I don't think he deserves your defense. But you seem happy, and that's what I'm supposed to care most about right? I'm not gonna be his friend, but I'm not gonna cause trouble while I'm here, for your sake, and also because I gotta represent humanity, right? I love you, and I'm not trying to ride your case, I just don't like that guy. I'm not as forgiving as you are. But I'm not gonna get into a public fight with him or anything.”

“Thanks. And hey, I'm not gonna demand that you be friends with all my friends, I just have a really big day looming over me, and I'm already stressed. But, like, if you have any questions, now is probably the best time.”

“Oh, I got a few!” Tara said. “What actually is wrong with you?”

“Uh, loaded question.”

“No, no. I mean, yeah, but no. I mean, you said these guys were taking care of your medical problems, but you never actually said what they were. Have they figured out what's going on?”

“Ehhh, kinda. It's not exactly a medical problem. It's this.” You held out your hand, showing the mark. “You know how we couldn't figure out what caused this? It's magical in nature.”

“You told me you got drunk and got a tattoo!” your father accused.

“What was I supposed to say? I didn't know what had happened at the time! I didn't even know it was Loki I had grabbed, I didn't find that out until later. Tara saw: I took his hand to get his attention, and this shape burned into my palm. It did the same to him, I found out. It made us both sick. But when we're close together, we heal. Even when I got hurt, being close heals me faster. This is also what woke up my magic. It was always there, but this was what made it accessible. The whole thing is just magic. The only thing we don't really know is why it happened.”

“Magic. It's so weird.” your father said. “It just doesn't make any sense. What is magic? How do you do it?”

“It's a kind of energy manipulation. Like electricity or solar power, but it's less generalized. Like, some things are actual spells that always work the same way, but I haven't learned much of that yet. Gotta get my specific magic under control first. I'm getting pretty good at it. I do it by...well, it feels a certain way. So I concentrate on feeling like that...”

A bowl of apples disappeared from the end of the table, and reappeared in your hands. Both Tara and your father leaned away in surprise as you set the bowl back on the table.

“I move things from one place to another. I don't know the upper limit on size or distance yet. Maybe someday I will move mountains.”

“Does that scare you?” your father asked. “All this magic stuff?”

“Sometimes. It's so strange to think that it's me doing this, and not some woman in a book, or a movie. That it's really real. Even after everything that's happened over the past few years, it's still hard to really understand that all this is real. That every single person you've seen here is hundreds of years older than you, and was born light years away, in space, on a whole other world. That they have millions of years of history that I'm learning about. Some of these people remember a time before the language we are speaking even existed.”

“That's freaky.” Tara said.

“Don't I know it. But somehow, they manage to live in the moment in a way I find kinda enviable. They're looking to the future, but they aren't worried about it like I used to be. It's so liberating not to have to worry about that. About rent, or healthcare, or who's gonna take care of me when I get old, or if I'm even gonna get old. All of that has been lifted off of me, and I'm free to study and learn, and be something unique, and I actually really like it.”

“I'm glad for you.” Tara said. “So who's your tailor?”

You giggled. “I'm super fashionable, for someone a thousand years ago, aren't I? This isn't actually Asgardian fashion, exactly. It's more of a fusion. Isn't it fancy?”

“It's freakin' gorgeous. Is it some kind of uniform?”

“It didn't start out that way, but it sorta became that. The seamstresses hadn't visited Earth in like, a thousand years, so all the illustrations and memories they had were from then or before. So at first they thought that must be how I was supposed to be dressed, and then it just became my signature. It's really comfy, and pretty, and most importantly, it's warm. I mean, I know the place is called Iceland, but I was still surprised at how cold it gets. If you want, I bet I could get you some.”

Tara went to bed happy, and your father went to bed grumpy, but quiet. Then you went to bed, and Loki slunk under the thick blankets with you, holding you uneasily.

He got like this occasionally, cradling you as if he feared you would disappear in the night. It wasn't any real surprise, when you thought about some of the things he'd been through, the abandonment, the loss. You knew he wasn't, and would never be perfect, but you were still prepared to defend him to all comers. You weren't going to vanish from his arms, but you'd probably have to prove it every night. You could do that. You were more than willing to; there hadn't been another man in your life that had made you feel so safe and comfortable when sleeping, and you wanted to keep that feeling.

Tomorrow was the first day of Buridag festivities. Loki said it would start out with a parade that would lead to the site of the new courthouse. There would be traditional poetry and song, and everyone would perform the building task that had been assigned to them weeks ago. Then there would be the First Feast; a meal composed of worker's foods, prettied up for the nobles palettes. You'd seen the menu; it was grain salads and porridges, hearty soups and rustic breads with eggs, jams, young cheeses, winter vegetables, dried fruit, and herbs and spices in approximation with traditional Asgardian flavors. It was a reminder that, in Buri's day, Asgard's prosperity had not been assured, and many of the working class had to make do with rougher fare. Supposedly, the First Feast was meant to rebuke those who took workers for granted, and remind everyone whose hands had built their world.

Personally you thought that was a little patronizing, but you also didn't come from a monarchical culture. Perhaps this was something like an Asgardian Saturnalia, a festival of transformation. A celebration of something being built from nothing, Asgard being built by Asgardian hands.

And yours. Loki and Thor would be laying the foundations and blessing them with some of their more ephemeral power, the thing that awoke the primordial fear in you, made you instinctively cower and search for a tree to hide in when Loki became truly angry. The power that was beyond magic, that reached into the divine.

You, however, had been assigned a brick. It was a decorative brick, that would line a window, and it lay in a stack of other window-bricks at the site. Just one piece of a huge community project. You rather liked that. You knew for sure that the aristocracy did not engage with the common Asgardian nearly often enough before the tragedy of Ragnarok, but now both Loki and Thor went out among their people often, nobles and commoners mingled every day, and the community was becoming less and less divided. There were people who resisted that, of course. People who wanted to claw back every ounce of their perceived power, who tried to pass deliberately discriminatory legislation, people who simply hadn't yet come to accept that their lives had changed.

You were change. Loki was very approving about it. You represented the New, the Necessary Change, the Social Upheaval that led to a Bright Future. You couldn't help but wonder if that was too big for you to carry all by yourself. On the one hand, you weren't exactly alone; Loki was beside you all the way, Andsvarr, Saldis and the Valkyries supported you, even down to the twins. Saga, and even the strange Lofn approved of you.

On the other hand, your father was right; you were still the only human who actually lived here. The first and only human with Asgardian citizenship. A trial run, essentially alone, to see if you, as a stand-in for all humankind, could make it. It was heavy.

But you were doing it. In a little less than a year, you had learned a great deal of Asgardian history and law, had helped actual royalty with things like resource management and policy reform, learned knifework, learned actual magic! You had met several of Earth's greatest heroes, were going to be titled, were becoming a liaison between Asgard and the human settlements growing next door. You had learned some Asgardian, become a prince's lover, and even learned how to play a drum. You yourself were becoming something new. Embodying the Necessary Change.

And maybe that was what you had needed in the first place. For so long, it seemed like you had been trying to let go of an old self, let go of everything you'd gone through. Shed your old skin and emerge, clean and soft into the light of a new day. And so you were. You just hadn't realized that once you started, it would happen again and again, skin after skin, quivering and raw. But you felt new. Despite the pressure, you felt new.

[darklove9314-blog]

Do you think that a court of silver flames was well written? When I read it, I hated every character that I use to loved. Most people are happy that Tamlin is suffering for his mistakes but did Feyre not do the same to Nesta? I also love the friends that Nesta made but I feel like Nesta isn’t the type to have sleepovers with hot chocolate. I saw her more as Loki character (cunning and mischievous). Also the fact that Feyre is literally still a child and is a mother is weird. I just hate that book. To make things worse, NESTA AND CASSIAN DIDN’T REALLY TALK ABOUT THIER ISSUES (like the fact that Cassian is more loyal to his friends than his own mate and the trauma that Nesta went through). I just felt like the book is very poorly written and everyone acts like Feyre is perfect makes me want to throw up. Am I a horrible person for wanting Feyre and Rhysand to die?

TW: for mentions of rape/severe depression/ childhood abandonment.

You see I have a love/hate relationship with ACOSF because I see a lot of good in the story and in Nessian’s relationship in general, I do wish we spent more time on Nessian than on the Feysand baby plotline. I think most of the reason this book went the way it did was because at first it had a separate plot line. If you go back to ACOFAS, it’s as clear as day, she may have had to scrap the idea due to the various problems within the text. If she had went with the simpler plot of Nesta’s healing journey and Nessian’s romance this book would’ve been better, because despite having a 800 page book about a Nessian, I still feel like I know nothing about them, like I loved getting glimpses into both their past and Feysand and their pregnancy plot take away from who the book is supposed to be about which is Nessian. However I went into this book with the mind set that SJM can’t let go of Feysand (even though Nessian is her second biggest ship in her fandom and a better ship in my opinion) that and all her various lives had the same five questions so I kinda figured this would be the case. I think since I prepared myself I ended up enjoying the book because I went into it with low expectations, but that still doesn’t mean I can’t admit that it could’ve been an extraordinary book If SJM focused on the couple it should have been focused on, As for Feysand, I’m an anti Feysand shipper because I can’t stand Rhysand. He is the worst type of person. Feyre I’ve always been on the fence about her. I don’t hate her with a burning passion of a thousand suns, but I don’t love her either. As far as the IC the only two I hate right now (besides Rhysand) are Mor and Amren. And I can agree, I think people acting like Feyre is the perfect being enables Feyre a lot, it squanders the potential Feyre could have as a character by treating her as if she’s still a child and keeping things from her about her own court, like she can’t be happy 24/7 and people need to realize that, tough childhood or not, the real world doesn’t give you these type of free passes, as for Cassian, I’m at an impass. I love Nessian with my whole heart and soul, but even I can admit when he can be a dick, it’s why out of the bat boys, he’s my favorite. The thing about his devotion is that it’s all about psychology and the effects of childhood abandonment, Cassian’s main fear is being abandoned by those he loves. To feel unwanted and unloved. (If you look back to the way he talks about wanting kids and how he would make sure that they never felt unwanted or unloved it hits harder) and giving Cassian’s history him clinging onto whatever family he thinks he has makes a lot of sense. Even if that family doesn’t deserve his devotion at times (I’m looking at you Rhysand) but let me go further, In Cassian’s history, he was a biproduct of rape, we have no clue what psychological repercussions that has on Cassian, but from the way that it appears to affect him I can say that it’s a pretty heavy factor to why Cassian feels unloved and unwanted, He was also ripped away from his mother at a young age and thrown into a place that made him feel even more unwanted, his mother was also murdered before he could do anything about it, and it’s clear as day that he blames himself for his mother’s death like Nesta blames herself for her father’s. That being said Rhys is a sensitive subject for Cassian because despite Rhys being a raging asshole, Rhys was also the first person that Cassian made a connection with. Rhys’s mother was also the person that made sure that Cassian felt loved and wanted. So I can imagine after 500 years it’s hard for Cassian to let that go and Nesta understands that no matter how much she may hate Rhys. It doesn’t mean she necessarily has to like Rhys. There’s a lot of great reasons why she doesn’t, but she’s not going to get in the middle of that relationship because she knows how important Rhys is to Cassian. But she’s also Cassian’s mate and best believe that she’d rip Rhys a new asshole if he hurt Cassian in anyway, (I’ll probably make this an analysis later)

[rayegunn]

Another Thor speculation ramble

Yeah, been doing a lot of these uber geeky Thor speculation posts lately, but keep coming across stuff that makes me go hmmmm

So, was doing my occasional catchup on Twitter (I don't use it much, mainly just use it to lurk and follow what some creators are saying) and came across this: https://twitter.com/Doncates/status/1421534363192279047 and also https://twitter.com/Doncates/status/1421611974169825281 from the same thread. Intriguing!

And first of all, these tweets are vindicating, because I have been saying forever that 'worthy' doesn't mean being a pinnacle of morality and goodness, like some people seem to think it means. 'Worthy' is a neutral word and can mean different things based on context, literally anything the person dictating the terms wants it to mean, it is not synonymous with 'good'. In the context of Thor, we aren't entirely sure WHAT it means. We do know, after Aaron's run, that knowing you fall short of what's expected of being a good god, but trying to meet those expectations anyway, is at least part of it. But we don't know for sure if this 'be better' the wielder strives for is self defined or not. If self defined... yeah, it could be warped to be something bad. But that's clearly not all of it, or more people would have been able to lift it. Lots of people out there who could lift it if it was JUST that. The other requirements may not necessarily be good, or bad, but maybe something that reflects Asgardian culture, or something, we just don't know for sure. We aren't even sure any more if the worthiness qualifications are determined by Odin or the Mother Storm. This is one of the reasons that, even before the enchantment apparently broke, I thought Loki had a good chance of wielding it. Not the Loki of the past, but the current Loki is all about self improvement, and knowing he doesn't live up to expectations, but he's trying to. (not always successfully, he's got a lot of bad habits, but he's trying)

But on the subject of Loki, the second tweet is a bit ominous, for sure. And I may have to adjust some of my previous speculation, (TLDR, I think Loki is the next 'Champion', Thor's replacement, as all of Asgard shifts roles between characters, click the link for an explanation as to why) but not by a ton, really. I know some people would see that tweet, and take Loki lifting it as the 'terrifying' prospect. But it doesn't have to mean anything bad about Loki's face turn status (I really want the face turn to stick, I am invested in this direction for him), because Cates has already teased a far worse future for the hammer. I think this is more of a Thanos tease than a Loki tease.

My guess is, Loki will get the hammer, for a little while, as well as Thor's old role. But the role is not defined by being worthy of Mjolnir, it's more about the function they fill in the narrative. You can have the role without having the hammer. The Champion role predates the hammer by generations, and at least in the case of Sigurd, we know he had his own signature weapon, Gram, so it is entirely likely that Loki will get his own signature weapon as well. In fact, I would prefer this, since whacking things with a hammer really is not his style. He needs a sword, daggers, maybe a magical staff. Just something that plays to his abilities and style of doing things. It's just that the hammer has become associated with the role while Thor was in it, since he had used it as his primary weapon/worthiness gauge for most of his time in the role. But not all of it, he had Jarnbjorn in the beginning, which apparently first belonged to the valkyrie, Runa, who might have been the Champion after Sigurd, so it could make good sense for the Champion to use the weapon of a previous role holder until they get their own signature weapon. So I think in universe, the initial thought would be that the wielder of the hammer has the role, because that's how it's been for a thousand years. But they'd actually be mistaken, because the point of the great role shift is to update the roles, not just become a carbon copy of the person who was in the role before, otherwise there is not much point in the periodic shift of roles. So it makes sense that the new Champion would get a new weapon, and not just inherit Mjolnir, but I was envisioning a sort of transition period, to kind of ease everyone into things. I thought with all the Mjolnir stuff, he would get it at least for a little while, at last until he can prove himself. But... maybe not? These tweets make me less certain of the Mjolnir part, even though I do still feel Loki is getting the role, and will continue to be a good(ish) boy. It may be that Mjolnir has to be destroyed in order to prevent the bad future with Thanos, which would symbolically also make the role his own as a new weapon is created for him.

And while on the subject of Donny Cates' tweets: https://twitter.com/Doncates/status/1421898562275880960

Heh, so I guess Thor and/or Loki is going to Midgard and having a hotdog. I kinda hope together, so they can disagree and argue about best condiments. I dunno about Thor, but I do know Loki had a hot dog with Spider-Man once, and it involved 'green bits' so i presume it had relish. But lately he seems to have taken to mustard. So he appears to just go with his favourite colours.

Unrelated to the above, I had a random thought the other day, about the whole situation with Throg. It's not speculation, I have no idea if they will do something like this, it's just something i think could be fun. So, let's say Throg does end up trying to be sort of a mentor to Loki, I got to thinking that you know, Thori is probably bored as hell sitting around Asgard all day, he's a dog of action and violence, not a house dog. And he WAS Loki's dog to start with, so.... Thori could join Loki too as another animal companion. And then, I got to thinking that Thor would probably want to back seat drive, and he'd probably do that via Hugin and/or Munin, giving Loki a third animal companion. I just think it would be funny. And, of course, if this happens, at some point Loki has to shapeshift into an alligator. obviously.

Also, I realized today that next year is the 70th anniversary of Journey Into Mystery. A good time for a relaunch, no? It might be a bit later than I would personally like, I'm missing having a Loki solo story to follow in the comics, but it would seem to line up with where the solicits are going. The issue with Throg, 18, comes out in October. Then if we assume the arc where, presumably, the new status quo with the new Champion is laid out starts in issue 19, and likely goes for around 6 issues, then around March or so, they may have things set up for a JIM relaunch. Then Thor can focus on Thor, and Loki can go do his thing in JIM, and everyone wins. Again, this is not so much speculation as something I think could work, but it does seem to line up nicely.

[bebraveridethedragon]

I’ve Got No Fucking Clue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Warnings: There are no warnings for this chapter.

Chapter 3

All of the Avengers, plus Thor although he might be considered an Avenger now, were standing in a room with a monitor in it. They watched as Fury threatened Loki.

“In case it's unclear. You try to escape. You so much as scratch that glass.” Fury pressed a button that opened up the space beneath Loki’s glass cage.

“Thirty thousand feet, straight down in a steel trap. You get how that works?!” Fury asked. “Ant,” Fury points at Loki, “boot.” He points at the button.

“It’s an impressive cage. Not built, I think, for me.” Loki smirks.

“Built for things a lot stronger than you.” Fury says.

“Oh trust me I know.” Loki’s smirk turns towards the camera. In the observation room Douxie and Bruce tense up. Archie starts growling at the screen, at Loki or Fury, Douxie doesn’t know.

“The mindless beast and the last master wizard on Midgard. How desperate are you, that you call upon such lost beasts to defend you?” Loki asks, no longer looking at the camera.

“How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war. You steal a force you can't hope to control. You talk about peace and you kill ‘cause it's fun. You have made me very desperate. You might not be glad that you did.” Fury responds.

“Ooh. It burns you to come so close. To have the Tesseract, to have power, unlimited power. And for what? A warm light for all mankind to share, and then to be reminded what real power is. You would’ve come closer to power if you had used the wizard, his magic is extremely powerful.” Loki taunts.

“We thought about it once, I’m glad we didn’t, he’s a good kid. Let me know if Real Power wants a magazine.” With that Fury walks out of the room.

“Not a kid.” Douxie mumbles as the screen turns black.

“He really grows on you, doesn’t he?” Bruce asked sarcastically.

“Oh yeah, definitely.” Archie answers with even more sarcasm.

“Shit! I forgot you could talk.” Tony startles.

“Loki’s gonna drag this out. So, Thor, what’s his play?” Steve asked.

“He has an army called the Chitauri. They're not of Asgard or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract.” Thor uncrosses his arms.

“An army? From outer space?” Steve looks incredulous.

“Wouldn’t be the first one I’ve seen, although the last one was fighting for us not against us.” Douxie says.

“Ignoring what Douxie said for a minute, this means Loki’s building another portal. That’s what he needs Erik Selvig for.” Bruce says.

“Selvig?” Thor asks.

“He’s an astrophysicist.” Bruce answers.

“He’s a friend.” And oh, Thor must’ve met him when he came to Earth a few years ago.

“Loki has him under some kind of spell, along with one of ours.” Nat says, she gets a regretful look on her face. The only ones who notices are Douxie and Archie.

“I want to know why Loki let us take him. He’s not leading an army from here.” Steve says.

“I don't think we should be focusing on Loki. That guy's brain is a bag full of cats, you could smell crazy on him.” Bruce says.

“Have care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he's my brother.” Thor says.

“He’s killed eighty people in two days.” Nat points out.

“He’s adopted.” Thor defends. Douxie gives out a little snort that cause Nat to look at him. She gives him a soft smile before looking away again.

“Iridium, what did they need the iridium for?” Bruce asks.

“It’s a stabilizing agent,” Tony says walking in, he turns to Coulson, “I’ll fly you there. Keep the love alive.” He turns back to everyone else, “Means the portal won’t collapse in on itself like it did at SHIELD.”

Tony turns to Thor, “No hard feelings, Point Break. You've got a mean swing. Also, it means the portal can open as wide, and stay open as long, as Loki wants.”

Tony turns to the crew on the Helicarrier before speaking again, “Uh, raise the mid-mast, ship the top sails. That man is playing GALAGA! Thought we wouldn't notice. But we did.” Tony put a hand around one of his eyes and looks around.

“How does Fury do this?” Tony questions.

“He turns.” Maria Hill says causing Douxie to snort.

“Well, that sounds exhausting. The rest of the raw materials, Agent Barton can get his hands on pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source. A high energy density, something to kick start the cube.” Tony waves his hands around.

“When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?” Maria asked.

“Last night. The packet, Selvig's notes, the Extraction Theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?” Tony asked.

“I read them, I understood most of it but some things were confusing.” Douxie said. Tony looked at him with approval.

“Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?” Steve asked.

“He's got to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier.” Bruce answered.

“Unless, Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect.” Tony contradicts.

“Well, if he could do that he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet.” Douxie says.

Tony smirks, “Finally! People who speak English.”

“Is that what just happened?” Steve asks.

“Yes, although you probably don’t understand it because your old.” Tony says.

“I don’t think age has anything to do with it, I think it has to do with the fact that he was trapped in ice for 70 years.” Douxie says.

“You think an old man could keep up with what we just talked about?” Tony asks.

“I mean I did, and I’m the second oldest person in this room.”

“Your like 19, that’s not old.”

“I’ve been 19 for 900 years.”

“What?!” Multiple people shouted.

“Wizards can choose to stop aging at any time.” Everybody but Nat and Thor looked surprised at this.

“Holy shit that’s so cool.” Nat rolled her eyes at Tony’s antics, even if it was a bit cool.

“Can we get back on topic? We can question the wizard later.” Bruce says.

“Right, it’s good to meet you, Dr. Banner. You're work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled. And I'm a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into an enormous green rage monster.” Tony shakes Bruce’s hand.

Bruce looks uncomfortable while he mutters a thanks.

“Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube. I was hoping you might join him.” Fury says walking in.

“Let's start with that stick of his. It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon.” Steve says.

“I don't know about that, but it is powered by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys. That’ll be Hisirdoux’s job though.

Douxie nods, ignoring Tony’s snort of amusement when he heard his full name.

“Monkeys? I do not understand.” Thor says.

“I do! I understood that reference.” Steve exclaims. Tony rolls his eyes while Douxie claps his hands sarcastically.

“Shall we play doctor? Harry Potter your coming with us too.” Tony says before he grabs Douxie’s bicep and drags him out with Bruce following.

“Let’s play some.” Bruce says as they walk out.

“I can walk myself thank you.” Douxie says while taking his bicep out of Tony’s grip.

“I know, but we wouldn’t want the old man to throw out his hip while walking.” Tony smirks at him.

“I’m technically still 19, I’ve just stayed 19 for 900 years.” Douxie glared.

“Wait, so you’re physically 19 but mentally you’re 919?” Bruce asks.

“No, he’s physically and mentally 19. Even if he has acquired a lot of knowledge over the past 900 years he still has the maturity of a 19 year old.” Archie says.

“Excuse you, I am very mature.” Douxie tried to defend himself.

“Just last week you were arguing with Seamus and Claire about who had the coolest special magic.” Archie deadpanned.

“I was born with the ability to control fire and to see the future, that’s one more than either of them have by themselves.” Tony and Bruce looked confused as the wizard and familiar argued.

“Who’s Claire and Seamus?” This was Tony that asked.

“And what is special magic?” That was Bruce that asked.

“Claire and Seamus are my apprentices, they’re also like my little siblings. And special magic is magic that you have to be born with. Every wizard is born with regular magic, but there’s also certain magic that you have to be born with to do.

“There’s shadow magic, necromancy, elemental magic, healing magic, and future seeing magic. I was born with the ability to control fire and see the future. Claire can control shadows and even create portals with them. Seamus was born with healing magic.” Douxie said. They had arrived at the lab and were sitting down now.

“Wow, that’s kinda cool.” Tony says. He and Bruce start working on finding the Tesseract. Douxie walks over to the staff and holds his hands above it.

“This is weird.” Douxie states.

“What is?” Bruce asks.

“It doesn’t feel like magic, it feels more like raw energy.” Douxie looks confused. Bruce walks over with a scanner thing in his hands. He holds it out over the staff and moves it around. Tony hasn’t moved from where he’s solving equations.

“The gamma readings are definitely consistent with Selvig's reports on the Tesseract. But it's gonna take weeks to process.” Bruce says.

“If we bypass their mainframe and direct a reroute to the Homer cluster, we can clock this around six hundred teraflops.” Tony says.

“All I packed was a toothbrush.” Bruce states. Tony smiles at Bruce and Douxie.

“You two should come by Stark Tower some time. Top 10 floors, all R&D. You’d love it, and we could use magic to make the best inventions ever.” Tony says.

“If I come, I’m bringing a friend. He’s only 16 but he’s a genius when it comes to technology.” Douxie says.

“What’s his name?” Tony asks.

“Krel Tarron.” Douxie tells him.

“Hmm, I’ll have to look him up.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not? Has he done something terrible.”

“He’s not from around here.”

“Is he an immigrant?”

“Kind of.”

“I don’t think it’d be a good idea for me to go, the last time I was in New York I kind of broke...Harlem.” Bruce says, ending their conversation.

“Well, I promise a stress free environment. No tension. No surprises.” Tony says right before he pokes Bruce with a mini electrical rod. Right then, Steve walked in, looking pissed.

Bruce yelps in shock when Tony zaps him. Tony looks at him closely.

“Nothing?” Tony asks.

“Hey! Are you nuts?” Steve exclaims.

“You’ve really got a lid on it, haven’t you? What’s your secret? Mellow jazz? Bongo drums? Huge bag of weed?” Tony continued to question.

“Is everything a joke to you.” Steve asks Tony.

“Funny things are.” Tony deadpanned.

“Threatening the safety of everyone on this ship isn't funny. No offense, doctor.” Steve says.

“No, it's alright. I wouldn't have come aboard if I couldn't handle pointy things.” Bruce says.

“You're tiptoeing, big man. You need to strut.” Tony tells Bruce.

“And you need to focus on the problem, Mr. Stark.” Steve says annoyed.

“You think I'm not? Why did Fury call us and why now? Why not before? What isn't he telling us? I can't do the equation unless I have all the variables.” Tony says.

“You think Fury’s hiding something.”

“He's a spy. Captain, he's the spy. His secrets have secrets. It's bugging them too, isn't it?” Tony points at Douxie and Bruce.

“Uh...I just wanna finish my work here and...” Stammers Bruce.

“Doctor? Douxie?” Steve asks.

“I’m kinda with Tony on this one, sorry Spangles. He knows everything about me but all I know about him is his name.” Douxie shrugs his shoulders. Steve looks disappointed.

“A warm light for all mankind, Loki's jab at Fury about the cube.” Bruce begins.

“I heard it.” Steve cuts him off.

Bruce points at Tony, “Well, I think that was meant for you. Even if Barton didn't post that all over the news.”

“The Stark Tower? That big ugly,” Tony gives Steve a look, “...building in New York?”

“It’s powered by Stark Reactors, self-sustaining energy source. That building will run itself for what, a year?” Bruce turns towards Tony.

“That's just the prototype. I'm kind of the only name in clean energy right now.” Tony says with pride.

“So, why didn't SHIELD bring him in on the Tesseract project? I mean, what are they doing in the energy business in the first place?” Douxie asks, catching onto the point Bruce was trying to make.

“I should probably look into that once my decryption programmer finishes breaking into all of SHIELD's secure files.” Tony says to himself.

“I'm sorry, did you say...?” Steve asks.

“Jarvis has been running it since I hit the bridge. In a few hours we'll know every dirty secret SHIELD has ever tried to hide. Blueberry?” Tony holds out the bag towards Douxie and Bruce. Both of them take a couple and Douxie hands some to Archie.

“Yet you're confused about why they didn't want you around?” Steve says.

“An intelligence organization that fears intelligence? Historically, not possible.” Tony retorts.

“I think Loki's trying to wind us up. This is a man who means to start a war, and if we don't stay focused, he'll succeed. We have orders, we should follow them.” Steve, the good soldier he is, says.

“Following is not really my style.” Tony says.

“Not really mine either.” Douxie states.

“And you're all about style, aren't you?” Steve smiles condescendingly at Tony, completely ignoring Douxie.

“Of the people in this room, which one is; A. wearing a spangly outfit, and B. not of use?” Tony asks annoyed.

“Steve, tell me none of this smells a little funky to you?” Steve looks hesitant at Bruce’s question, but quickly shakes it off.

“Just find the cube.” Steve says before leaving.

“Well that was fun.” Douxie says sarcastically.

“That's the guy my dad never shut up about? Wondering if they shouldn't have kept him on ice.” Tony says.

“The guy's not wrong about Loki. He does have the jump on us.” Bruce points out.

“What he’s got us an ACME dynamite kit. It’s gonna blow up in his face, and I’m gonna be there when it does.” Tony says.

“And I’ll read all about it.” Bruce says back.

“Uh-huh. Or you’ll be suiting up like the rest of us.” Tony tells Bruce. Douxie’s starting to get bored of this conversation so he starts picking at his chipped nail polish.

“Ah, see. I don't get a suit of armor. I'm exposed, like a nerve. It's a nightmare.” Bruce mutters.

“You know, as awesome as this conversation is, I’m getting bored. So I’m going to go repaint my nails and call Claire.” Douxie sticks his tongue out and flashes devils horns before leaving. They wave at him as he leaves before starting their conversation again.

Douxie walks to Nat’s room. She’s just getting ready to leave when he walks in.

“Can I borrow your nail polish, I left mine at home.” Douxie asks. She nods and hands it to him before they both exit the room.

“Where’re you going?” Archie asks.

“To talk to Loki, see if I can get information out of him.” Nat replies. Douxie and Archie nod before they split paths with her.

Walking to his current room, Douxie sits down in the desk chair. He unscrews the bottle and starts to paint his nails. He also gets his phone out and calls Claire before putting it on speaker.

“Douxie! Finally, it’s been two days since you left. What happened to calling?” Claire asks as soon as she picks up.

“Sorry C-Bomb, it’s been a busy few days. We’ve captured the guy that stole the Tesseract but we still don’t know where it is.”

“Who stole it anyways?” Claire asked.

“Loki, Norse god of mischief. He plans to use it to make a portal and summon an army to take over Earth.” Douxie didn’t think he should be telling her this but he didn’t care.

“Shit, your not hurt are you?”

“No Claire, I’m fine. Although this team does not get along very well.”

“I’m fine too, thanks for asking.” Archie says.

“Oh! Sorry Archie I wasn’t aware I was on speaker.” Claire apologizes. Archie just chuckled.

“What are you doing right now?” Claire asks.

“I’m painting my nails, Archie’s trying to take a nap on my pillow I think. What are you doing.” Archie purred in response.

“Homework. Me, Jim, Krel, Seamus, Steve, and Toby are having a study session because we have a test tomorrow. They all say hi by the way.”

“Tell them I say hi too.”

“I did, Toby also needs an answer for his history homework and he can’t find it in his book.”

“What’s the question?”

“Hey Douxie!” Toby says over the phone.

“Hi Tobes, what’s you’re question?” Douxie smiles.

“How did the Black Death start? I can’t remember and I can’t find it in the book.”

“Have you tried googling it?”

“Yes! All it tells me is the number of deaths it caused.”

“Well, people think it was transmitted from rodents to humans by the bite of infected fleas.”

“Oh thanks! Your a life saver.”

“No problem Toby.” Douxie finished painting his last nail before using magic to dry them. He goes into the bathroom, taking his eyeliner pencil with him. He continues to talk to Claire for a few more minutes before they ended the call.

He looked into the mirror and sees bags under his eyes. He sighs before leaning forward and applying the eyeliner.

��How did you forget nail polish but remember eyeliner?” Nat asked. Douxie jumped, luckily not poking his eye or messing up his eyeliner.

“I’ve got no clue.” Douxie says before going back to his eyeliner.

“Hurry up we have a situation.” Nat says.

“What’s going on?” Douxie asks.

“Loki plans to unleash the hulk.”

“Fuzz buckets.” Douxie mutters. He quickly finishes his eyeliner before putting his pencil down and picking Archie up.

Archie yawns before going back to sleep in Douxie’s arms. Nat and Douxie walk out of his room and make their way to the lab.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

This fic is also on AO3 if you want to read it there.

I do not own anything other then the parts you don’t recognize.

[gingerwritess]

Hello, I hope you have a nice evening, morning, afternoon or whenever you read it and in whole just a good day🌸 Secondly I'd like to ask: how would Loki react, if Elliot doesn't think girls are 'bleegh' anymore? Would Loki give Elliot advice on how he courted the reader? I'm sorry if you don't take these requests and I'm sorry if that made you uncomfortable in any way. Stay healthy and happy🌸

thankyouforrequestingthissokindlywtfthatmademesohappy

also i know i didn’t get to the actual “advice” but this was getting really long so that part will be a separate drabble h e h

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“Hey, dad?”

Loki nods, biting the tip of his tongue as he carefully measures a teaspoon of olive oil. “Hm?”

“You busy right now?”

“A bit,” he murmurs, focusing on not spilling—the tiny little measuring spoons you got years ago are much to small for his fingers.

Elliot quickly nods. “Gotcha. I’ll, um, come back later.”

“No, no, I can multitask, what can I do for you?”

“It’s all good,” Elliot assures him, backing out of the kitchen. “It’s stupid anyways, I’ll just ask mom or look it up or something.”

“Elliot,” Loki laughs, setting down the olive oil and grabbing a wooden spoon, pointing it at his son, then at the fridge. “Talk to me. And get me a stick of butter, I could use the help.”

A little smile lights the kid’s face and he rushes to the fridge, grabbing the butter and tossing it to Loki. “You know I can’t cook,” he reminds him, leaning against the counter as Loki mixes. “So I don’t think I can be of much help, but I’ll try.”

“You didn’t get that from me,” Loki chuckles. “Blame your mother. What did you need?”

“That’s kinda what I wanted to ask you about.”

“Your mother?” Loki glances at the time—good, you’re not supposed to be home for another hour. “Are you wondering how she ended up with someone like me?”

“Not really, I think I get that part,” Elliot replies, rubbing the back of his neck. “Kind of. I don’t know. Um, I just was wondering if you, um…”

“…yes?”

“If-if you could maybe, I don’t know, give me some advice?”

The wooden spoon falls to the counter with a clatter.

Oh, no big deal, Loki’s son just came to him seeking advice, trusting him to lead him in the right direction with his knowledge and guidance, trusting him not to steer him wrong, that’s all.

Easily one of the best moments in Loki’s thousands of years of life.

“O-of course, I’d be happy to help,” he stutters, quickly trying to cover his surprise. “Advice with what?”

A relieved grin breaking over his lips, Elliot shuffles a little closer to his dad at the stove. “There’s, uh, this girl.”

Loki all but chokes, dropping the spoon in his risotto and whirling around to his son.

“There’s a WHAT??”

“A girl,” Elliot laughs sheepishly, picking up the fallen spoon and handing it back to Loki. “C’mon, dad, don’t make this weird.”

“Okay, right, sure.” Loki nods, trying to control his grin. “What advice do you need?”

“Well, I, um, don’t know if she likes me back.”

“You are in love with someone who doesn’t like you?”

“No!” Elliot backtracks, eyes wide. “No, no, no, I didn’t say I’m in love with her, yikes, no—”

“Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing?”

“I can’t be in love, dad, that’s…not possible. I just like her.”

“Not possible,” Loki repeats slowly, going back to his cooking. “You know, your mother tried to kill me when we first met. I didn’t think loving her would be possible either, but here we are.”

“So you’re saying if Morgan tries to kill me, she might love me?” Elliot snorts and shakes his head. “Nah, thanks, dad. I think you and mom were just a little weird. Special case.”

No answer.

Loki’s frozen at the stove, knuckles turning white around the handle of his spoon—he must have misheard the name.

Not Morgan…Stark, right?

“N-no,” he tries to bring himself back, give the best advice he can—giving advice? Yeah, this is a first for Loki. “I only mean to say…love, if you, erm, believe in that sort of thing, it’s—it’s different for everyone, a-and you never know where you might find it—”

“But I know where I found it,” Elliot cuts in, confusion etching itself into his brow as Loki rambles. “I just don’t know what to do with it. What’d you do when you figured out you loved mom?”

Loki swallows thickly. Gods, he wishes you were home for this conversation. The puberty talk was fun enough on his own, but now this?

A little part of him wonders if it’s healthy to be scared to talk to your children, yet here he is, heart pounding and palms starting to sweat as Elliot waits for him to answer.

Elliot repeats the question, a little quieter, gentler this time.

Oh, gods.

“Y-you should ask your mother,” he quietly offers, keeping his gaze trained on his cooking. “She’s better at this, all these, ah…” he breathes a quiet laugh. “Emotions.”

His dish isn’t turning out well, honestly, the rice is a bit burned and the sauce seems to be about to break on him. Wonderful.

It was supposed to be a surprise for you, since you’d been gone most of the day after weeks of little sleep, a surplus of work, and Frigg deciding she “doesn’t need third grade” after all.

For the record, he’s a supporter of the little movement.

“Okay.” Elliot nods, glancing at the mess on the counter. “Do you want some time alone? You don’t look too good, I don’t want to be a bother…”

“No,” Loki snaps and his fist hits the countertop, sending measuring cups flying as he stares at his failed meal.

Elliot flinches and takes a step back.

“Mom’ll be home any minute,” he reminds him, palms up in front of him. “I’m sorry, I’m really, really sorry if I said something, dad, really—”

“Please don’t leave.” Loki’s voice cracks and Elliot gulps.

“Okay.”

A moment passes, Loki hunched over the counter and gripping the edge in a white-knuckled hold, Elliot watching cautiously from the doorway, picking at the palm of one hand.

Laughter breaks the silence, Loki’s, Elliot realises, his dad is laughing now and sounds borderline psychotic.

“What did I do?” Loki turns to him, eyes bloodshot and swimming with unfalling tears. “Yes…what did I do when I realised I loved your mother?”

Elliot just stares, wishing you were here, too.

“You want to know—w-what I did,” Loki laughs behind a wet sniff, “when I realised I loved your mother? I denied it for months, Elliot, and I treated her like a piece of shit.”

A hollow, dull ache fills the boy’s chest and the room goes cold—Loki doesn’t cuss in front of him or Frigg; only on the rarest of occasions when he needs to really, really emphasise a point.

“I acted like I hated her,” he spits out, eyes flashing, “and many times convinced myself that I did, a-and when I finally admitted I-I loved her, she wanted nothing to do with me because I’d ruined every single chance to love her with my arrogance a-and my stupidity—”

“Dad, dad, easy,” Elliot laughs nervously, rushing to Loki’s side and laying a cautious hand on his arm. “It’s alright.”

Loki pauses, taking a deep breath and glaring at the ground, hating himself for snapping so easily in front of his son.

“Is this…something to do with your past?”

Ignorant little boy. Beautiful, ignorant, clueless, perfect little boy.

“The part you won’t tell us about,” Elliot clarifies. “‘Cause I didn’t mean to trigger anything, dad, I’m sorry, I really didn’t.”

“Don’t apologise.” Loki runs a hand over his face, exhaling heavily and trying to rub away the tears left in his eyes. “Gods, don’t ever apologise to me, I don’t deserve that.”

“Okay, but—”

“And you’d never be a bother,” he keeps whispering, an intensity in his voice to match that burning in his eyes when he grabs Elliot by the shoulders and bends down to eye level. “Thank you for coming to me, I-I’m so sorry I did this to you, put you through this—”

“We’re baaack!”

Frigg flounces through the door, slamming it behind her—right in your face, but you just sigh and trudge in after her.

“There she is,” Loki laughs, squeezing Elliot’s arm once more before bending down to swoop his little princess into his arms.

A flicker of light flashes over Loki’s face, a split second of changing energy, too quick for your tired eyes to catch or for Frigg to notice in the midst of her hug—Elliot sees it.

He glances up at his father, seeing a smiling, fresh face, full of light and nothing like the broken man he’d just encountered.

Elliot’s learning that his dad is a really good liar.

“Get expelled yet?” Loki plants a kiss on Frigg’s cheek, smiling all the while.

“Not yet,” she giggles, hugging him tight around the neck. “M’gonna need some help for that.”

“Just tell me what you need.”

“Loki,” you yawn, waving a hand at the three of them. “Don’t encourage this, she’s already gaining supporters on the playground.”

“Are you really?” Loki sets her down, grabbing her hand and guiding her in a quick twirl. “You’ll be a fearsome queen one day, Frigg. I can already see you on your throne, leading your people to prosper—”

“How about a shower for her majesty first,” you jump in with a pointed look to your husband, “and ruling kingdoms later??”

“I would listen to the current queen, if I were you.” Loki raises an eyebrow at his daughter. “Obey and you might just survive her rule.”

Frigg immediately straightens up, flinging a stiff salute at you and bolting off down the hallway to her room.

“Good lord,” you groan, sinking into a chair at the table. “She’s…she’s…your child.”

You wave a hand at Loki.

“Goddess of mischief,” he laughs, and Elliot glances at him—there’s no use hiding it anymore, right? Frigg’s gone, you’re here…

Nope. Loki walks to your side, tilts your head up to plant a kiss to your lips, brushing his thumb over your cheek as you hum happily and lean against him.

“Well, I attempted a risotto.” Loki sighs and gestures at the mess across the kitchen. “I had hoped to surprise you, but…no such luck.”

“Aw, thank you,” you mumble, reaching for him again and pulling him down for another sloppy kiss. “S’sweet of you, I bet it’s really good.”

“It’s…not.”

Elliot wants to laugh, awkwardly watching the two of you, but it’s more painful than heartwarming or humorous to watch his dad act this time, knowing what he’s really hiding.

“Want me to order takeout again?” Plastering a smile on his face, Elliot walks over and gives you a quick hug.

“That…might be best,” you reply, hugging your son back and giving Loki a sheepish grin over his shoulder. “Unless you wanna eat it anyways, Loki?”

“No.” Loki shakes his head with a laugh. “I’ll cook for you tomorrow, it’ll be better, I promise.”

Elliot desperately wants to say something, warn you about what happened and suggest maybe you eat the attempted meal anyways, but Loki just smiles and laughs and ruffles a hand through his hair.

“Thanks, Elliot.”

His smile seems sad behind the facade, and he squeezes Elliot’s arm as he walks by—almost like he wants to say something more.

But he doesn’t, he takes your hand in his and follows you as you lead him out of the kitchen, apparently unbothered by what just happened.

…leaving Elliot standing in the middle of the kitchen, extremely confused.

* * * *

After a lovely dinner with thankfully only one wonton thrown across the table—you’d expected Frigg to start it, but nope, thanks, Loki, very mature—you noticed Loki’s a bit…off.

Not terribly off, no, just acting a little bit strange.

A little distant, distracted, and he doesn’t even laugh when you tell him about the “mimicking the principals voice and telling her teacher he’s fired” phone call that Frigg had managed to pull off today.

His mind is clearly elsewhere as you kiss your kids goodnight and send them off to bed, clearly elsewhere when you drag him out of his little library-office to go get ready for bed, only for him to flop onto the mattress and curl in on himself, hugging his knees to his chest.

“Okay, what’s going on?”

Climbing onto the bed and poking his turned back, you peek over his shoulder. “Seriously, Loki, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He pulls a pillow over his head.

Very. Very. Mature.

“You’re a bad liar,” you sing, yanking the pillow off his head and pressing a loud smooch to his cheek before he can protest. “How many times do I have to tell you? I can see right through you, trickster.”

“You’re just nosy,” he grumbles, but sits up and crosses his arms. “I only ruined every good idea my son may have had of me, that’s all, will you leave me alone now?”

You blink a couple times in shock, flabbergasted and more than confused.

“What are you talking about?? Elliot loves you, he thinks you’re incredible!” You scramble over the bed to wrap your arms around him, hugging him tight to your chest. “You’re his biggest role model, his hero, my hero, and we love you. And like hell I’m gonna leave you alone, nice try.”

“He came to me asking for my advice.”

“Loki, that’s amazing,” you murmur, stroking a hand through his hair. “I can only imagine how much that must mean to you, that’s wonderful, snowflake—”

“Know what I did?”

Voice gone sour, he pushes out of your hug and looks you intently in the eye.

“Yelled,” he hoarsely tells you. “I yelled and I punched the counter and I told him that I hated you, and-and I cried, I broke down and wept in front of my son like a fool, a-and—”

A sob cracks through the room.

“Fuck.” He drops his head to his hands, shoulders shaking. “Damn it, I can’t stop fucking crying.”

Heart pounding, you hurry to sit on the edge of the bed next to him, rubbing a comforting hand up and down his spine.

“Hey, Loki, honey…where’s all this coming from?”

“Like hell I know,” he spits, hiding his face in his hands, hunched over with elbows on his knees as you try to comfort him. “I had a chance. I had a fucking chance with him and I threw it away, made his ‘advice’ all about my own sick problems like the selfish, fucking idiot I am.”

“Loki! You’re not selfish, what the hell are you talking about?”

“Yes, I am, my son came to me admitting to possibly being in love with someone and by the end of the conversation, my son was comforting me, being gentle with me, reassuring me in my relationship—”

“Wait, wait, Elliot’s in love with someone?”

Loki’s mouth snaps shut—the more he thinks about it, he’d nearly forgotten the initial topic of Elliot’s asking for advice.

“That’s what he told me,” he answers quietly, staring at his hands. “Someone named Morgan. We didn’t even get to talk much about it before I ruined the moment, as you know I do so well.”

A smile tugs at the corners of your mouth as you take his hands in yours—finally, Elliot.

“Well, that’s wonderful,” you laugh, rubbing his back and tilting his head up with a finger under his chin. “But know what’s even better?”

The glare Loki shoots you could only be described as royal.

“He told you.” Your fingers curl around his jaw and you pull him closer. “Your son still told you that, he came to you and wanted to share that with you, he wanted your advice, Loki.”

“Yes, and I ruined it and pushed him away like I always do, I just told him to go talk to you.”

“He didn’t.” Resting your forehead against his, you stroke a thumb along his jaw, smiling softly at him. “He never said anything about this to me, snowflake, he wants you to help him.”

“Oh.”

Loki falls silent, head slowly leaning into your touch.

Whenever you hold him like this, arm around his shoulders and now hugging his head in the crook of your neck, running languid fingers through his hair, Loki swears he can count the days of his life.

This seems so…mortal. This whole failure thing.

Humans are so good at failing—it’s the one thing he’s noticed since he first started watching Midgard.

You’re good at failing. It doesn’t scare you, it seems; you rush head-on into uncharted territory and look for things to try, just so you can fail and try again.

You actually like his failures, calling them opportunities and learning experiences and helping him back up, forgiving him time and time again like the clueless idiot you must be to love him—

More failure, his mind spins, just another person to disappoint.

He’s known that since the first moment he held Elliot’s tiny form in his hands.

Your fingers curl and brush through his hair, heartbeat steady under his head.

“…what do I do?”

You press your lips to his forehead, brushing some strands of hair behind his ear. “You could start by going a little easier on yourself. Have some faith that you’re not completely unlovable.”

He gives a dry laugh. “Not completely?”

“Mmm…I don’t know,” you giggle, hoping your smile can help get him back on his feet. “There’s just something about you I can’t help but love.”

Half a lopsided smile tugs at his lips.

“I’ll try.”

“Good.” You hop to your feet to stand in front of him, grabbing his face between your hands and gazing seriously into his eyes. “Know what else?”

“What?”

“I’m pretty sure Elliot’s room is just a hallway away. And I’m pretty sure he’s still awake, wondering how the hell to successfully court a certain fair maiden.”

“Oh, gods, no.” Loki stands up, furiously shaking his head. “What am I supposed to tell him? Well,” he sarcastically starts, “you could always burn down her office building, asking her to kill you seemed to work well for me—”

“No, no, no,” you laugh, jumping up after him and pulling him into another hug. “Just talk to him about…doing nice things for her, things he wouldn’t normally do. Just get him to talk about his feelings about her, and report everything back to me, I’ve been waiting years for these two to get together.”

Loki frowns. “You know this girl?”

“You do, too, snowflake.” A giddy grin spreads across your face. “Morgan?”

“Wait, no.” His eyes wide, he takes a step away from you. “No, no, no, not Morgan Stark, tell me it’s not her.”

Biting back a laugh, you raise an eyebrow at him. “Do you know any other Morgans?”

“My son is in love with Tony Stark’s daughter.”

“Get used to it.”

“Do you have any idea what hell this is going to unleash?? Stark is going to wring my neck, and gods forbid Elliot ever upset her—if he even allows it—or it’s my own back taking the lashings—”

“Just go,” you laugh, pushing him towards the door. “Teach him how to be just as romantic as you are and just as adorable and absolutely, completely irresistible.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

hope you enjoyed, please reblog and feel free to send me ideas!

loki tags: @bluediamond007 @himitoshi @drakesfiance @destiel1597 @dangertoozmanykids101 @archy3001 @jcalpha1 @yzssie @skullvieplu @forthesnakeofdragons @skulliebythesea @wegingerangelica @storiesfrommirkwood @agarwaeneth @adaliamalfoy @laurfangirl424 @paradisaicsam @fitzsimmons-is-forever @ladylokimischief @katelinwrites @tarynkauai @polaristrange @loavesofmeat @canadian-ravenpuff-multishipper @lou-makes-me-strong @holyn0vak @chocolatealmondmillk @swtnrholland @kenzieam @jessiejunebug  @catticas @the-republic-and-face-of-texas @doralupin01 @whitewitchdown @atomiccharmer @falconfeather23435 @babygirlicecream @avengrcs @vethrvolnir2 @bookgirlunicorn @wabisabigrl @myhealingstar @khaleesi-marvel @ei77777 @spacecrumbs @scarlettghost13 @rocks-are-pretty-odd @confessionsofastrugglingteen @easilydistractedwriter @arttasticgreatnessoftheawesome77 @fluffyllamaswearinghats @milktearose @lcyouinhell @h0tshotholland @dontmesswithmemundane @southsidesarcasticwriter @helnik-s @lilith-akemi @fire-in-her-veinz @unlikelysamwinchesteronahunt @mischievousbellerina @kcd15 @mellowgirl01 @lokislilcaribbeanprincess @allthingzhiddleston @scorpionchild81 @lokixme @blue-automne @galaxycharmed @devilbat @kangaroobunny @end-up-well @planetariumx @sarcsep @mrfandomtastic @amaru163 @im-way-too-many-fandoms @caswinchester2000 @kybaeza @wester-than-west @vintagesunshinebitch @adefectivedetective @poetic-nikolai @moonduhsted @kerri-masson @iamverity @innaminitus @spnbarnes @narcissxblack @woohoney

[dearlazerbunny]

Lie to Me (Ch. 8 of ?)

Pairings: Loki x Reader

Genre/Ratings: M eventually (aiming for a slow burn here); warnings for kidnapping and subsequent anxiety/PTSD (will be marked before every chapter)

Words: 1500

Summary: If you had to guess what the captured, traitor, trickster god Loki Laufeyson wanted or needed at this moment, a babysitter would be far, far down on the list. (Set after the events of Avengers 1.)

SHOUTOUT TO @molmcb and @jessiejunebug for doing the lord’s work

Requested Tags: @deraniel @iamverity @yasnooshka24 @wegingerangelica @themusingsofmany @dark-night-sky-99 @tarynkauai @stuffandstuff-stuff and the total sweetie @angelicshinigami

“You’ve been speaking with Thor.”

You don’t glance up from the rough sketch of Mjolnir you’re outlining in your notebook. The runes are a bit tricky to replicate precisely. “Um, yeah. How’d you know?”

He gestures to your drawing. “He let you ‘test your worthiness,’ yes?”

You giggle. “Yeah. Nothing happened, obviously.”

The noise of disapproval that he hums catches you off guard. “I’m disappointed, Witling. I would have thought you were more intelligent than to fall for his ploys. I suppose I was wrong.”

That makes you set your pencil down. The Trickster sounds even grumpier than usual. “His ‘ploys’? What, is he gonna lift my fingerprints off the handle to frame me for a crime I didn’t commit?”

The god, while still angry, now looks thoroughly mystified. “What on Asgard is the nonsense tumbling out of your mouth?”

“I- nothing, never mind. Why do you care if I talk to Thor? He’s sweet, and it’s nice to talk to someone and not feel like they’ll bite off my head for breathing in the wrong direction.”

You give him a pointed look, but it flies right over his head. “No, by all means, let the oaf wrap you around his little finger. Because of course, the true Prince of Asgard, mighty god of thunder, would be a much better companion than the snide, corrupt Loki.” There’s so much bitterness in his voice you could drown in it- and something makes you feel he already has.

“Whoa, hey, that’s- a lot of antagonism there. Are you okay?”

He lets his head rest back against the wall behind him in obviously reluctant defeat. “Even on Midgard, that brute is still the chosen one. I should have known the universe would not know impartiality, no matter the realm.”

“Mmm, yeah, life tends to play favorites a lot, and that favorite is rarely you.” You glance up. “I mean, not you, you in particular. Us, I guess?”

“Us. Do not lie to me, mortal; you know nothing of my life.”

“Well, no, I don’t know what it’s like growing up as a magical demigod prince, you’ve got me there. But I do have an older brother. I know how it feels to grow up in the shade of his shadow.” You glance down at your paper, tapping the butt of your pencil thoughtfully on the table. Oh. “That explains a lot, actually,” you murmur.

“Oh, please, by all means, psychoanalyze me into submission. I look forward to hearing your drivel; it is  excellent to amuse myself with when sleep is elusive.”

Glaring at him, you throw your pencil across the room in a vague approximation of his location. It bounces off the glass barrier and clatters to the floor, but for once, the Trickster looks shocked and speechless. “Christ, aren’t you supposed to be a prince? How about acting like it for once?”

“You would lecture me about being royalty? You said yourself you have no basis for aristocracy!”

“I don’t, but I sure as hell know they act a lot better than you!” Now you’re both staring at the other, unwilling to be the one to look away first. “Look, I get it. You’re angry, and tired, and sad, but that doesn’t give you the right to lash out whenever you want. Stop bleeding on the people who didn’t hurt you.”

“And who might that be?” Once his tone might have frightened you. Yesterday it would have made you annoyed. Today it just makes you… pensive. Because now you have some puzzle pieces that are starting to fit together, and the picture it shows isn’t all that pretty.

“Me. Everyone else at SHIELD. The entire human race you just tried to enslave,” you add. “Thor.”

With a growl, the Trickster’s gaze traps you in your seat with an intensity you haven’t seen before. “Thor Odinson-” he practically spits his name like a curse- “has always been the favorite. The chosen one. Father’s heir, the people’s love, the golden child. Next to him I might as well be as inconsequential as the sand beneath his feet,” he hisses.

“Because Odin made you feel that way, not Thor! Your father is the one who played favorites, Trickster. He’s the one who made Thor his golden child, and gave him a magical hammer, and groomed him to be the heir. Your father may see you as lesser, but by all accounts Thor values you as his equal.” You pause, thinking back to your conversation. “He said he admires you.”

“Lies.”

“You’re the god of lies; I’d hope you’d be able to distinguish when I’m lying to you.” When he doesn’t respond, you get up, walk over to him, and tap on the cell wall. “Hey. You’re literally in a fishbowl, you can’t just avoid me. Am I lying to you?”

His green eyes search your face, thinking, even though he already knows the answer. “No.”

“No. I’m not. He specifically told me that he doesn’t understand your bookish habits-” you smile a little at that- “but he’s proud of your intelligence all the same.”

“Of course. How could he? That blundering idiot can barely string together two coherent sentences.” You can tell he’s aiming for derision in his voice, but his words aren’t nearly as harsh as they were a minute ago.

“Look, from what I’ve read, Asgard is a warrior’s culture, yes? They value strength, and brawn, and muscles, and how hard you can swing a sword. You’re… not that. Sure, I have no doubt you’re a great fighter, but it’s because you think your way through a battle, not go in there guns blazing and overpower your enemy.” You stop and glance at him, wondering if you’ve gone too far, but he’s actually looking at you with some interest. “It’s like asking a fish to climb a tree. You’re completely out of your element; the scales were tipped against you from the start.”

For a long moment, he doesn’t speak, and you think he’s going to throw your words right back in your face. But to your surprise, the god starts laughing. No, it’s not as hearty as Thor’s, and there’s an underlying bitter sweetness to the sound, but it’s a true, honest laugh. Probably the first one you’ve heard from him. “You say the strangest things, Witling.”

Smiling, you scrunch your nose up at him. “Yeah, yeah, I’m an oddball, I get it. But I’m also right.”

His eyes are slightly out of focus, as though he’s seeing his life through a new lens. “Perhaps.”

“When you start with the short straw time and time again; when you’re punished for doing things differently even though different is in your DNA… you’re going to get frustrated. And you’re going to get resentful. And eventually, there’s going to be an explosion.” Your expression is resigned as you look at him. “It’s not fair. And I’m sorry that’s what you had to deal with for a thousand years.”

His eyes are more thoughtful than you’ve ever seen them. “I cannot remember a time when someone apologized to me sincerely.”

“Thor probably tried, but he didn’t know how. Words are your thing, not his.”

“Indeed.” He nods to himself, seemingly settling an argument only he can hear. “May I ask you a question, Witling?”

“What? I mean-” you shake off your surprise- “Sure, Loki. Of course you can.”

Something in his expression brightens just a hint, though you’re not sure why. “Do you not prefer Thor to me?”

“Is that what you’re worried about, Trickster? Losing your annoying sidekick?”

Loki rolls his eyes. “You are not my sidekick. At best you are an unfortunate reoccurring side-bit.”

You snort. “Look, I like Thor a lot. He’s friendly, though he’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, and very… loud,” you say. “Kinda like a golden retriever. Lots of energy, bounding all over the place, leaping before they look. But I like that I can have a good conversation with you. You think, and you’ve got a sharp tongue, and you’re a bit of an enigma. If Thor is a golden retriever, you’re a witch’s familiar.” You give him a shrug and a smile. “And I’ve always been a cat person, anyways.”

“Color me relieved.”

“You’re the one who asked! Can’t have my favorite god getting jealous now can we?”

“Jealousy over someone implies they are something you covet. You are an annoyance. Thor can gladly take you.”

“In that case, I guess I’ll just go find him.” You gather your stuff, taking your sweet time putting it all away in your bag and watching Loki struggle to find a way to keep you from going. Because he doesn’t want you to go. Not really.

“Witling.”

You look over your shoulder. “Yeeeeeeeees?”

His gaze is very conveniently anywhere but on you. “I will… see you tomorrow?”

There’s a little smile on your face as you respond. “Yeah, Loki. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

A/N: I’d say from here on out things take a turn from fluff to more purposeful conversations :)

[loki-the-predator]

A guide to writing starters

This blog got quite busy (which I absolutely love) however, I noticed that some people struggle to come up with a starter to call out to my character. When it comes to starters I’m quite picky because I have two ultimate pet-peeves being God-modding and one-liners, and sometimes it can be hard to create something.

Because there are probably many out there who struggle with creating starters I decided to make a little guide on how to create starters along with examples, and why stuff works and why not. This guide can be both used to create open as closed starters.

I’m going to use my character Loki in these examples and I picked a couple of examples that I created for him, and a couple of examples that were handed to him. Yes, I asked those mun’s if I could use them.

So, let’s get to this.

Four foundations

To create a starter you need some foundations. I create my starters mostly on a couple of foundations, listed bellow. Not every foundation has the be used in every starter, you can mix and match but there is one foundation that you almost cannot leave out and that is the first one of this list. The four foundations I use are:

What is my character doing

Scenery

Openings sentence

plot

It sounds simple but let’s take a closer look...

What is my character doing?

This is one of the most important things, and as I said, it’s almost impossible to leave this one out. If you are going to write a starter you should know that whatever your character is doing, it affects the other. On top of that it is very important that you write the actions of your character alone and not the other as well.

You can place small little details on how your character is looking (handsome in a neat suit or bloodied if he just got out of a fight), but also other small things as age, hair, eye color, etc. Just make sure to not barrage the other player with an infinite amount of details because it can get overwhelming, and when characters are in their first meeting you will get there along the way anyway.

An example; gotten from @jester-datshyboi

The young boy, which appeared somewhere around 14-15 walked silent as ever through the dark and gloomy forest. He had absolutely no idea how he got there, or what lead him to the forest, but it was similar to a strong energy pulling him in. He gripped the wooden handle of his butcher knife in his padded pocket, just to comfort himself. He knew whatever beasts would be in this forest couldn’t be harmed by that little dagger no matter what.

In this case it was very important that he stated that his character was a minor, which for a lot of rp-ers changes their behavior towards them (Had I not liked it to rp with a young boy, I could have made him turn away and abandon the post, and because I’m polite I would have contacted the mun to let them know).

Please note how the mun keeps his character's actions to himself. This is very important because what your character does, affects mine even though you have no clue yet how my character is going to respond.

Scenery

A second and very important part of a starter is scenery. It can be abandoned mostly as you will see in the example with ‘openings sentence’, but it makes it more difficult. What do we mean by scenery? Well, any place you can think of. A house, a beach, a forest, a living room, whatever. If it fits and it is a place, you’re good to go.

For my character Loki I have created (like literally in my mind, I made map) a couple of places he resides if I want to create a starter. This way I can create a scenery for someone or can start from my scenery which I know.

An example, written for a Venom I wanted to rp with

Loki walked into the lab eyeing the interior with disgust, the door sliding shut behind him. He really disliked the sterile and white rooms and even more so all the weird machinery and tools.

The God slowly turned on his heel taking in his surroundings, the smell of bleach filling his nostrils. In the middle of the room stood a single chair, the kind where they usually strapped someone into to keep one in control. Glass cabinets were placed along the walls holding various of pots with liquids and there was a trolley with some shining tools placed on them.

Loki wasn’t quite sure what to make of this yet. Would he end up in that chair or someone else? His contract with S.H.I.E.L.D. stated he would not be harmed as long as he worked for the Avengers (even though he didn’t like that one bit and he had been forced to do so), but one could never be sure. There were many who still held a grudge against him and he was certain a couple of them wanted nothing more than the prod and pry at him like some lab-rat.

“What is the meaning of this?” he asked coldly.

I created this scenery with a specific character in mind I was going to reach out to, being Venom. Luckily I knew a little about the character and I knew from the trailers that the creature resided in a lab of some sorts, this gave me some pointers. This scenery is very detailed and I explicitly chose to do so because of the other character. In this case the scenery could play a major role where my character could have been forced to sit down in that chair and suffer the horrors from the alien. Or the other could have made the tools rattle or the cabinets explode, whatever they would have liked.

Openings sentence

So, you have decided what your character is doing and you’ve set a scenery, now he/she/it wants to say something to give the other an opening to make the reply easier. Please note, this is optional as you saw in the first example.

I really cannot tell you what your character should say because it depends on the other rp-er you are interacting with (you probably know that character otherwise you wouldn’t reach out). The most easy thing is to ask a question because it is far easier for the other to answer to a question than a statement, but statements would do fine as well.

If you want some inspiration you can search Tumblr for “rp starters” or “prompts”. You will get an endless lists of things your character can say.

An example, written for a Klaus I wanted to rp with

It had taken him quite some time to track the man. The other was smart, quick and didn’t leave many tracks behind but even the slightest detail was enough for the God to eventually close in on him.

The Trickster was sure that the man - if it was a man that you could call him - was aware that he was being followed. But Loki had his own tricks to cover up his tracks and he was sure they had been dancing around each other for a while now.

He crouched down and ran his index finger through a puddle of blood and rubbed his finger against his thumb, a little green magic coming from the tip of his fingers to test it before he cleaned his fingers with the same magic. Then he gracefully raised to his feet.

A sly smile formed on his lips as he felt a presence behind him. “It is truly a pleasure to meet you,” he said with a velvet voice and turned a little.

I was struggling with how to introduce the other character to mine because I very much wanted them to meet but their universes differed very much. The sentence in this was the inspiration to build the scenery and Loki’s actions around it. I choose the difficult way in this to start with a statement instead of question.

As you can see there is barely any scenery in here, just a puddle of blood somewhere. I left it open for the other to fill in or not, in this case it really didn’t matter.

Plot

In my opinion is this one of the most difficult things to create especially when your characters aren’t even introduced yet. Usually I don’t put in plot with first meetings, this can wait until characters know each other. Plot is nothing more than a problem or a challenge for a character.

If you really wish to incorporate plot but you can’t come up with something, just google ‘dnd plot generator’. There are tons of websites which give you a random one-liner plot which can be used as inspiration for your rp.

An example, gotten from @dr-stephen-v-strange

So we did some research and apparently you can duplicate or something, so we don’t really know whom to contact or who is trustworthy (Thor is not acting like a reliable source). But we are kinda getting desperate. Mordo has been killing off magic users and with the Sorcerer Supreme gone, we could use someone with a bit more experience than the novices who keep creating portals to random places and then walk through them into walls or falling down hundreds of feet.

Well, I guess it’s pretty clear on what we are going to do even though we haven’t even met; we are going to hunt Mordo!

Another example, gotten from @xsimpletrashx

Lastly I have another example from a starter I got and I’m going to break it down for you a little and put my comments and thoughts in there in bold and you’ll see why.

The plan was simple. Loki had to stay at Stark tower to compensate for the damage he had done during the invasion of New York.

Okay, so I’m being forced to be stuck in a tower? Let’s see where this goes.

The tower has already been repaired and equipped with one of the best security systems in the US.

Scenery, awesome, I can not escape if I wish so.

Not that they needed much security with those enchanted handcuffs around Loki’s wrists anyway. They were separated, not to confine him too much, but still capable of restricting any kind of sorcery and godly strength.

Wait what? You are restricting my character? wha-?

In those cuffs, the trickster was basically human, at least that’s what Thor said.

Ah good, a fail-safe that almost neutralizes all that has been previously stated! If I don’t want to be restricted I can denounce it because Thor said something that could have been a lie. Good!

Tony was delighted when he heard the news, much to his teammates’ dismay. The genius was simply intrigued with things that were… new. The god was new and Tony yearned to know what made said god tick. To learn about his magic and use his thousand years old knowledge to defend the earth, who wouldn’t want that? …maybe he was also pleased to get a little payback for all the people who died during the attack. Well, nobody could blame him for that.

Good, this gives me some information about the other’s character and his motivations (plot).

“For all it’s worth, my dad didn’t give a shit about my problems either but here I am.” Tony joked halfheartedly as he led his new guest into his workshop.

Openings-sentence meant for me. I can respond however I like. Good!

Of course, he was still wary of being around the god without his suit on, handcuffs or not, especially since the last time that happened he got thrown out of the window, but that never stopped him from running his mouth.

More plot and character insight.

This particular example is very tricky because it borders a little on god-modding. Luckily for the both of us Loki has been restricted and whatever not for his past so many times in so many fics that I was willing to roll with it - heck! It even made sense! But had another character - for example Jester from the first example - forced this upon Loki, or had Loki forced this upon another character such as Klaus from the thirds example, than things might have turned out very differently.

What not to do

Well, of course you can do this but as I told at the beginning, god-modding is my ultimate pet-peeve and I know I’m not the only one. For example if you send me this I will not answer:

Loki had been reading a book in the corner when he suddenly heard a voice. “And who might you be?” she inquired, breaking the silence making Loki jump out of his boots by the unexpected sound.

Why I don’t like this? First of all, you are forcing my character to read a book. Good thing he loves his books but maybe he doesn’t want to read at this point, that is a decision for me to make. Then we get some scenery which is incomplete. Where are we? Home? Library? Beach? Just pick a place and try to fit it to your character. Then there is a sentence (which is fine), followed by how my character reacts to breaking that silence. Again, you decided how my character reacts (startled) which goes against the nature of my character because it takes a lot for him to jump out of his boots.

As you can see this starter is short but that doesn’t really matter. Let me give you an example on how you could write this differently.

She walked into the library silently, her footfalls barely disturbing the silence until she noticed the man. “And who might you be?” she inquired, breaking the silence and startling the other occupants of the room.

The difference here is that you kept your actions for yourself and haven’t forced any on mine, he can be doing whatever he wants. You created a scenery (a library and a silent one at that! Yes, could have been that there was a riot going on!) You created an openings-sentence, a question even which gives my character a reason to respond, and you even used some npc’s to create a reaction you EXPECT from my character as well but you didn’t force me.

TL;DR

In any starter just stick to the following things: what is MY character doing or saying? What is the scenery, aka, where is my character and is it logical for the other to be there too? What do I want to say? Can I insert some plot? You can mix and match these in any way you like.

I hope this was useful and if you want to add some things, please let me know. Also, this is my humble opinion on how I create starters and on how I love to see them, there is not rule to play by, my words aren’t chiseled in stone. ;-)

[imagine-loki]

Loki and the Witchling

TITLE: Loki and the Witchling 

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 37/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine you’re a healer working with the Avengers when Loki comes to join the team

RATING: T (so far) 

NOTES/WARNINGS: Also on AO3 click here

   Loki and Thor both relaxed once you all were out of sight of their parents. “That was Mother’s subtle way of telling us to go play somewhere else and annoy other people until dinner,” Loki explained, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

    “So what shall we do instead of bothering your parents?” you teased him, wrapping an arm around his waist. Loki just held up three fingers, then dropped one, then another, then the last.

    The second the last finger dropped: “Thor! You have returned!” came a booming voice you vaguely recognized as one of the Warriors Three, though you couldn’t remember which one he was. The three of them and Lady Sif were sauntering toward you.

    “Friends!” Thor boomed in reply, his face puppy-excited.

    “That is why Mother wanted us to go play somewhere else. Thor’s friends are quite loud.” Loki whispered in your ear. Thor greeted his friends with hugs all around, and a kiss on the hand for Lady Sif.

    “So is Thor,” you replied with a grin. You often made fun of Thor’s booming ways.

    “Loki, you can’t escape with your lovely lady before you say hello,” the blond warrior called before you and Loki could sneak away. That had totally been your plan. You wouldn’t mind spending more time with Lady Sif, she was interesting at least, but you had been intending to sneak away with Loki. You weren’t so sure about the warrior boys.

    “My apologies, Sigyn. The introductions were not done properly the last time you were here,” Thor drew everyone’s attention to you, so you extra couldn’t hide somewhere quiet with Loki.

    “We were kinda busy hiding the fact that I was in the palace last time we were here,” you reminded him softly. You were going to have to get used to all of the attention soon.

    “These are my friends, Lady Sif and the Warriors Three: Fandral, Hogun, and Volstagg,” Thor spoke around you, wisely not discussing your last trip here in too much detail. It hadn’t ended well. “Gentlemen, this is Lady Sigyn, Loki’s official betrothed as of tomorrow evening’s ceremony.” Each of the warrior boys stepped forward to kiss your hand. You weren’t sure what to make of them, but they seemed nice enough. Loki wrapped a possessive arm around your shoulders. You leaned up to kiss his cheek, which seemed to reassure him, and made him smile. His smile seemed concerning to the warrior boys.

    “Sif, it’s good to see you again,” you greeted her with a smile. You knew you liked her. She’d helped you with Loki the last time you were here.

    “And you, Sigyn,” she replied. She gave a wicked grin to the boys. “If you’d like, I can teach you some new tricks while you’re here,” she flourished her blade, which extended into a spear, before she spun it back to a dagger and resheathed it.

    “I’d like that very much,” you replied with an equally wicked grin. All of the boys looked concerned, except Loki, who knew you better. Loki just kissed the top of your head with a grin. You gave him a mischievous grin and pulled him over to the others. “Stand together, you guys,” you told them. You pulled your phone out of your pocket and once everyone was together, used magic to hold it and snap the picture of the group. You reached up and grabbed your phone from the air, turning it so everyone could see the picture you’d taken.

    “Two questions,” Loki started while Sif and the warrior boys stared at the picture in wonder and awe. You looked over at him and raised an eyebrow. “First, how do you have pockets?”

    You laughed. “I conjured the dress. Of course I included pockets.” You weren’t going to have a purse here and didn’t want to have to conjure everything you needed all the time.

    Loki inclined his head, accepting that answer. “Second, why did you bring you phone? You know it doesn’t work here,”

    It was true, your phone got no reception. “To take pictures. I thought it would be fun. Stark made the battery life like a week, so it shouldn’t run out of juice while we’re here.”

    “Sig, do you have a picture of our friends on there?” Thor asked excitedly. You nodded and flipped through the pictures on your phone until you came up with a picture of the group. The most recent one was the picture from your high school graduation. You handed the phone to Thor so he could show his friends and tell them all about his Earth friends.

    You hadn’t noticed while you were talking with the others, but you had ended up strolling through the halls with them and ended up in a comfortably sized chamber filled with food and comfortable couches. They all started settling on the couches and you realized this must be their equivalent of a living room. Thor’s couch was in the middle of all of his friends. Sif sat with him comfortably. Fandal and Hogun shared a couch and Volstagg and his giant plate of food shared one. Loki settled catlike on the last couch near the bookshelves, just apart from the others. He was settled so he took up the entire couch as he lounged. “Ahem,” you told him, realizing that his sprawling on the couch had been automatic from years of curling up here.

    “Sorry,” he said sheepishly and moved his legs so you could join him.

    “Maybe I should’ve just sat on you,” you laughed at him and settled next to him on the couch, slipping off your shoes and curling your legs up next to you, laying your head on his shoulder.

    “I would not have had a problem with that,” he whispered so only you could hear him. You leaned up to kiss him in reply.

    You listened to the warriors tell tales of their adventures for awhile, curled in Loki’s arms. The warrior boys and Sif all kept looking over at you and Loki.  They were obviously disconcerted by his change in demeanor in your presence and with your love.  They’d never seen him like this before. 

    Everything was going great until an alarm started sounding through the palace. One of the guards rushed into the room. “There’s a group of bandits with some kind of monster attacking a village outside of the city,” he announced.

    You all jumped to your feet. Thor raised Mjolnir to summon his battle armor. The warrior boys and Sif were already dressed for battle. You and Loki used magic to summon your own armor. Sif and the warriors stared. They weren’t expecting you to have armor too.

    “It’s useless to remind you that you are a healer and should remain here and leave this to the warriors, isn’t it?” Loki asked you, obviously hoping you’d be reasonable for once.

    “Duh,” you replied. “Besides, you’re going,”

    “I am a warrior, for all that my main skills lie in sorcery,” he sighed, knowing he didn’t have time to argue. On Earth he wouldn’t have bothered, but here there were plenty of warriors. Asgard was a very warrior-centric nation. “Very well, but if you are injured, I shall be quite cross with you,” he replied with a soft smile. He took your hand and you followed the others down to the stables. The horses were already saddled and ready. Loki swung into the saddle of his while the others were doing the same. He offered you an arm, and swung you up behind him. Your armor included leggings, which totally counted as pants in this case. You wrapped your arms tightly around Loki’s waist. “I won’t let you fall,” Loki told you when your grip tightened. The ride to the village was a breakneck gallop and you were glad that all you had to do was hold on to Loki and not fall off the horse.

    The second the horses stopped at the village, you dismounted, scrambling less than gracefully from the horse’s back. If you were going to spend time here, you really were going to have to learn how to ride on your own. The village was a disaster. There were bandits everywhere and some kind of giant rock monster destroying everything in its path.

    “You guys take the bandits. I’ll get the big one,” Thor boomed the order. The warrior boys and Sif rushed to obey. You and Loki summoned daggers at the same time and headed into the fray. You stayed close to Loki, fighting back to back with him against the bandits. You stuck with daggers, saving your magic for healing after the battle. Loki fought mostly with illusions, bolts of magic, and occasionally his daggers. He’d also had a thousand years of training more than you had and was a much more efficient warrior. You hadn’t truly seen the grace he fought with until you saw him fighting other trained warriors. Even sparring with Thor hadn’t been like this.

    After Thor took down the giant rock monster, the battle ended fairly quickly. Taking a cue from something Loki had said earlier, you used magic to summon your Asgardian dress again, fading your armor away, and making sure your betrothal necklace was in plain sight. Loki nodded his approval when he saw and realized what you were doing.

    You made your way to the villagers. They were nervous about your intentions, you saw it immediately. You were a stranger, but obviously a Lady, obviously of the court from your dress and your betrothal to the prince. So you went to the children first. They were braver than the adults on some things, for all that the injured ones were crying in pain. You smiled and soothed them and promised everything would be ok as you knelt in the dirt and ruins of the village to heal each child that had been hurt in the attack. The villagers all relaxed when they saw what you were doing. You sought out each injured villager to heal them while Loki followed a pace behind you, acting for all the world as nothing more than a lady’s guard.

    Finally, a good deal of power later, all of the villagers were healed. You turned to Sif next, healing her couple cuts and bruises, then the warriors three, who all had a handful of cuts and bruises, though somehow Fandal had gotten stabbed. The others were teasing him in the same manner that Clint got teased back home for getting shot. Thor and Loki were last, the princes refused to be seen until all of the villagers and warriors were tended. They also had no more than a couple scratches between them, so it was no trouble to leave them until the end.

    There were cheers and applauding from the villagers and they bowed you from the village. Some of the palace staff would be by to help them rebuild, but there was a lot of work and pain you had saved everyone by doing all of the healings. You knew the story of this adventure would probably beat you back to the palace.

    You were beyond drained, doing that many healings in that short of a time. Some of the villagers had been really injured too, but you kept your back straight and didn’t let the villagers see any weakness from you. The royal family had to be seen by the people as strong, even if they were not. “Can you ride?” Loki asked softly as you walked back to the horses. You were still being watched. You nodded.

    “I’ll manage,” you replied.

    “Well done today, witchling,” he kissed the top of your head. “The people will love you even more for your generosity and willingness to heal all of the villagers. Not everyone would have done that.”

    “Very well done!” Thor boomed. Loki swung into the saddle and hauled you up behind him effortlessly. The movement looked simply like a courteous gesture to all of the villagers. You felt more unsettled riding side saddle behind him, but wrapped your arms around his waist and knew he wouldn’t let you fall. You laid your head against his back and the group started back to the palace much more calmly than the breakneck speed that you took to get here.

    You must’ve dozed off on the ride back, because the next thing you knew, Loki was carefully prying your arms from around him and Thor was lifting you down from the horse’s back. Thor set you on your feet gently. “Thanks,” you told him, steadying now that you were more awake. He nodded and stepped back, you knew then that you weren’t safe yet from prying eyes. It was your first day here and you needed to present as a worthy member of the court, even though you’d just taxed your powers healing an entire village. Loki offered you his arm.

    “Lady, let me escort you to your chambers so you can freshen up after the battle,” Loki bid you courteously.

    “Thank you,” you replied, laying your hand on his arm. He led you swiftly to a hallway you recognized from your last visit. His formal demeanor relaxed here, when you were in the family wing and safely away from prying eyes. He wrapped an arm around your waist and let you lean on him as you walked.

    “That was a warrior’s work today, darling. I know how much magic it took to heal an entire village,” As you were walking, you recognized the door to his suite, it was one of the few places you’d seen last time you were here. Loki led you to the door across the hall from his. “There should be a hot bath waiting for you. One of the maids will wake you for dinner. You can get some rest until then, witchling,” he told you softly and kissed your forehead.

    “Thank you,” you told him wearily. You could hear the exhaustion in your voice.

    “No, thank you, love. You’re doing splendidly in making a good impression here, and I know how difficult it is. Thank you for doing it. For going through the effort for me,” his voice was loving, but had an edge of bruised to it. He hadn’t actually expected you to work so hard to make a good impression, to try to fit in among his people, among yours too, though you’d lived all of your years on Earth.

    “I love you, Loki. I mean it when I say that I would do anything for you,” you reminded him. “And I would have healed those villagers whether you’d been there or not, whether it would be a good impression on the people or not. You know that.”

    “I know, now go get some rest, stubborn little witchling,” he bid you. After a kiss, you ducked into your suite to do just that.

[hymn2000]

Freeze - MCU AU Fanfic - C16

(Title subject to change)

Previous chapter(s): 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Story synopsis:- When a burst gas main destroys everything and leaves Peter with nothing, the Stark’s take him in. Thrown together by necessity, they then need to try to keep it together and build a new life. Devastated by loss, Peter doesn’t make things easy for them, and Loki and Tony struggle with their own grief and the responsibility of having someone completely dependant on them.

Chapter description:- Peter accepts his place at St Hendricks, but as the first day approaches, he feels like he’s made a horrible mistake

Story warnings/themes: character death, hurt/comfort, trauma, grief, depression/mental health issues, bullying, corporal punishment

Relationships: Frostiron (Loki x Tony) (romantic), Tony and Peter (platonic), Loki and Peter (platonic)

From the same AU as Called To Be A Rock

Chapter 16 - It’s Complicated But Understand Me

-

Tony let Peter think. He was busy thinking too, but more about his absent husband and less about the school. To him, the school was easy. It was a great school and they wanted Peter. Giving the kid a choice was a bit of a trust exercise: he knew that if he had any sense, he'd accept the place. 

Loki was far more tricky. He'd sent a few postcards, all with impersonal messages, and from locations with little to no correlation. At first it had seemed like a redo of the honeymoon, but soon the postcards came from other places. He never wrote more than a sentence, and he never gave a return address.

Tony didn't know where to start. Loki had, on occasion, disappeared for a day or two. But when he did this, he always took his phone, kept in touch, and told Tony exactly where he was. He never went out of the country without prior notice, and he had never done anything like this before. Tony couldn't guess where he was going to go next. Truthfully, he wanted to leave him to it, let him sort himself out. But, he also wanted more than one line scribbled in a different language on a postcard. He wanted to know he was ok. He wanted to know that he was definitely coming back soon. He'd promised in his initial letter, but that didn't mean anything. Even if he kept to his promise, he might not be back for years. That was something Tony had to face up to. His husband had walked out on him, and he didn't know if he was going to come back. And if he did come back, he didn't know whether he'd be back for good. 

- 

Peter spent most of Saturday and Sunday at the library. One benefit of not being at school was that he could go there. Tony never had a problem with it, provided that he was back at a reasonable time. Peter had grown fond of Abby, the librarian, and was happy spending his days talking to her, and sitting in the armchair reading and forgetting the world.

- 

On Sunday evening, Tony sat down in the kitchen with Peter. 

"Have you made a decision about St Hendricks yet?" 

Peter shrugged. He'd been trying not to think about it. 

"You know we have to let them know tomorrow. You need to decide. It's high time you were back at school anyway. You've been sitting around the house for long enough" 

"I haven't been sitting around the house: I've been at the library" Peter pointed out. 

"Don't be pedantic. Now, please, have another think about St Hendricks" he checked his watch. "It's six o' clock now. I want an answer by no later than eight. Ok?" 

Peter nodded. 

"Ok. Off you go, then" 

Peter went off to his room and flopped down on the bed. He thought about St Hendricks. He thought about the head teacher and the boarding master and the legality of corporal punishment and the uniforms and the social class. He thought about the science lab and the drama studio and the swimming pool and the locker room. He thought about the old wooden doors and the stone walls and the sports fields. 

And he thought about Tony. He might be pretending everything was ok, but Peter still heard him crying at night. He knew Tony was heartbroken. And he also knew he was doing his best despite that. He thought about the look on his face while they were looking round St Hendricks. He thought about how impressed and hopeful he had seemed. 

Part of Peter wanted to reject the school. He didn't want to be lumped in with a load of rich kids and strict teachers. He didn't want to sit in a classroom day after day pretending he cared about schoolwork and trying to keep up appearances. It would save Tony money too. Peter had seen the list of school fees they'd been given, and he'd been surprised and a little bit horrified to find just how much they were. He knew Tony was rich, unbelievably so, but he still didn't understand how he could be happy shelling out thousands of dollars a term for his education. Maybe he was mad. 

- 

Peter stayed quiet all through dinner. He stayed quiet while he washed up and helped tidy the kitchen. He stayed quiet when they went to the living room and put the telly on while Tony started looking at spreadsheets on his laptop. He kept an eye on the time. 

At eight o' clock, Tony closed his laptop and turned to the boy. 

"It's eight o' clock, sweetheart" 

Peter looked at him. He really, really didn't want to go. He swallowed hard, and opened his mouth to say so. 

"Ok" 

He surprised himself, and Tony looked at him. 

"Ok? Is that a yes?" 

Peter paused. He wanted so badly to shake his head. But he looked at Tony, and he knew just how disappointed he'd be if he did. So he nodded. 

"Yes. I-I'll accept the place" 

Tony moved his laptop aside and hugged the boy close. "We'll get you kitted out this week then, son" 

Peter rested his chin on Tony's shoulder and closed his eyes. This was a mistake, he just knew it. It would be just like the last school. 

- 

Peter did hope that Tony might change his mind. He woke up late on Monday morning, and went through to the kitchen, still half asleep. 

"It's all sorted" Tony said, smiling at him. "You're starting next Monday" 

"What?!" Peter exclaimed, suddenly wide awake. "But I'm not ready! It's too soon!" 

"Peter, darling. You've had time. Your bruises are mostly gone. We'll get your uniform and everything else this week, and we'll be fully prepared and ready for you to start"

"But-" 

"Ah, now don't argue with me. You have to start some time, and I rather think sooner is better than later" 

Peter tried to think of an excuse. "But what about Loki?" 

This comment stopped Tony in his tracks. He was quiet for a moment, but then swallowed very hard and looked at him properly. 

"We don't know when he's coming back, if at all" Tony said. "We can't wait around just so he can send you off in the morning. No, you'll start on Monday"

"No! I don't want to!" 

"Peter, you will start at St Hendricks on Monday morning and that's final!" 

He said it so firmly that Peter dare not argue. 

"I'll drive you, of course. It's a little far to walk, so it'll be lifts every day" Tony said. "They'll need to go through some stuff with you on Monday morning so we'll aim to get there early. Hey, I'm up to date with my work, so maybe we should go out now and get a few bits" 

"Oh. Um, well, I was gonna go the the library" 

"Ok, ok. Tomorrow then?" 

Peter nodded. He supposed they'd have to go sooner or later. 

- 

The next few days were an uncomfortable mad rush. Tony had a great time - Peter did not. He was pushed from shop to shop and grew more and more stressed by the minute. He got stroppy with Tony, but Tony didn't let it put him off. He stayed calm and fairly happy for three days of shopping, excited by the prospect of Peter starting at a school like St Hendricks. 

On Thursday night, Peter sat on the bed and looked at all of his new things. He felt that, by rights, he should be excited. But he wasn't. He looked at his new shoes and satchel and pencil case and stationary set. He looked at his new notebook and water bottle and trainers and football boots. He looked at his tennis and badminton rackets, at his lacrosse and hockey sticks and his various PE uniforms. He looked at his actual uniform, hung up on the wardrobe, with its painfully smart shirt and trousers, it's burgundy and navy striped blazer, and its tie. There was no mistaking that it was anything other than a private school uniform. He was adamant that he'd never wear the hat. 

He looked at all the extras, the new socks and underwear and an expensive wrist watch. He looked at the towel and PE kit bag and the hand sanitiser and box of plasters and gloves and boiled sweets. He looked at his new wallet and tin of shoe polish. 

And he hated all of it. 

- 

With all the shopping done, Peter escaped and went to the library on Friday. Abby quickly realised he was upset. 

"What's the matter, chicken?" 

"I'm starting school on Monday. Dad's gone and got me a whole load of new stuff. I know I should be grateful, and I kinda am, but I just, I'm just..."  

"Scared?" 

Peter nodded. "What if it all goes wrong?" 

"What if it doesn't?"

Peter blinked. "I really don't want to go" 

"I know, chicken. But you don't have a choice. You need your education" 

"I know. But I don't think I can. Everything is still so difficult" 

"You need to let yourself heal" she gave him a hug. "When my Martha died, God rest her soul, I spent a long time refusing to recover. Once you make the decision to move on, it'll get easier. It will still hurt, and you'll still miss her, of course you will. But it will move to the back of your mind. Maybe having something to occupy yourself will help" 

"I hope you're right...”

“But you don’t think I am, do you?”

Peter shrugged slightly. “It’s all so hard. I didn’t realise I was so weak until it happened”

“I don’t think you’re weak. You’re allowed to struggle, and you’re allowed to grieve”

Peter sighed. “I wish I didn’t have to go. I’m just fed up”

“Of course you are. Is that why you come here? To escape from it all?”

“Kind of. Being here, that first time, it was the happiest I’d felt since the accident. It’s kinda comforting... It is an escape though. I don’t like home much right now. I’ve got to go to the doctors this afternoon too. I don’t want to do that either”

“We all have to do things we don’t want to do. Sometimes those things we don’t want to do turn out to be for the best. You just have to stick at it. Things do get better, you know”

-

Tony picked Peter up from the library in time to take him to the doctors for his jabs. In the car on the way home, he brought up one of Peter’s most hated subjects.

“The school has registered you with their on-site therapist”

“What?! But dad, I said I don’t want to talk to anyone!”

“Yes, and that’s exactly why I think you should. It really does help. You’ll have two sessions a week, and then it’ll go down depending on your progress”

Peter stared at him. “Please don’t do this! Call them up and say you’ve changed your mind”

“No. Now stop arguing. It’s about time you learnt how to do as you’re told”

Peter folded his arms over his chest and turned away from him. Tony sighed.

“Look, sometimes when I make you do things you don’t want to do, it really is for the best. We need to be proactive about your recovery” 

Peter didn’t say anything.

“Look, kid, I care about you. I’m only trying to do what’s best”

“Have you had any more postcards?”

Tony sighed heavily. “The postman hadn’t been when I left”

-

The postman had been when they returned to the house. There was a padded envelope on the doorstep. Tony opened it, and found another smaller padded envelope, addressed to Peter. 

“Here, this is yours” he handed it to the boy, taking the postcard out of the big envelope.

It wasn’t quite a postcard, although the back was set out like one. It was a photograph of Pooley Bridge. There was no real message this time, just ‘Loki xxx’ written on the back.

“What does it say?” Peter asked.

Tony showed him. “What’s in yours?”

“Oh. Um”

Peter opened the envelope, and found a big bag of flying saucer sweets. A note on scrap paper was taped to it, which read ‘sorry’ in Loki’s familiar writing. Peter read that one word over and over.

“He hasn’t forgotten” Peter said eventually. 

“No” Tony said, looking back at the photograph in his hand. “He hasn’t”

-

Peter lost it on Sunday night. Absolutely, flat-out, lost it. 

“Hey hey hey, come on now, what’s all that noise about?” Tony hugged him tight, rubbing his back. “Come on now. Have you hurt yourself?”

“I don’ wanna go to school!”

“That’s what this is about?” Tony took a very deep breath. “Darling, come on, quiet now. It’s gonna be fine. There won’t be another Ryan”

“How do you know?!”

“I just do”

He didn’t, of course: he just hoped. He needed Peter to settle. He was willing to look after him, but all of the disturbed nights from Peter’s nightmares were beginning to take their toll.

“Listen to me, Peter. If you keep convincing yourself that it’s going to be horrible and that you’ll hate it, then it will be, and you will. So you need to go in with an open mind. It could be fun?” he tried.

“How could it possibly be fun?” Peter cried. “I don’ wanna go to some jolly-hockey-sticks posh-nob school”

“You’ve already accepted the place. You’re going. I know you’re scared, and I know you’re hurting, but you haven’t got a choice. Come on, stop crying now. You need to have a bath and an early night”

“What’s the point?”

“Peter, don’t be difficult” 

“I’m not being difficult!”

“Yes, you are” Tony said, holding him at arms length. “Stop”

Peter sniffed, wiping his eyes and nose on his sleeve. He kept his hand up by his mouth, trying to calm down. 

“Breathe” Tony went over to the sink, filling him a glass of water. “Here”

Peter took the glass and took a gulp.

“Ah, you’ll give yourself hiccups. Just sip it. Slowly”

Peter did as he was told. He was tired out.

“Good. Right. Sit down”

Peter did. Tony sat next to him, stroking his hair back over his sweaty forehead.

“You’re so thin now, son” he said sadly. “What happened to my sparky little lad who could quite easily eat me out of house and home?”

“A building fell on his head”

Tony flinched slightly. “Peter. It’s nearly April now”

Peter knew what he was getting at. The accident had happened nearly three months ago. Sometimes it felt like much longer. Sometimes it felt like it had only happened last week.

“The therapy sessions will help” Tony said. “You’ll get better. I just think you need some help”

“What if I never get better?”

“You will. I did. And... Loki did... You’re allowed to move on, you know”

“I thought I was dead”

Tony drew his hand back. “What?”

“When I woke up. And it was all cloudy and foggy and dusty and there were flashing lights and unrecognisable voices and everything felt heavy”

Tony squeezed his shoulder.

“I texted Ned today” Peter said. “I don’t know why. I hadn’t replied for ages”

“What did you say?”

Peter took his phone out, opening the right message and showing it to him. 

[Ned] Flash asked after you today! D: o: 

[Peter] Hey Ned. Sorry I haven’t been replying. I’m not trying to cut you off. I’m just having a hard time. I’m not coming back to Midtown. I went to another school for a while but it didn’t work out. I’m starting another one on Monday. Hope everything is ok with you

[Ned] It’s good to hear from you! Good luck on Monday! Maybe we can meet up soon? 

“You haven’t replied to this last one”

“I couldn’t think of what to say. I never can” 

Tony handed him the phone back. “Go and have your bath”

-

Peter would let Tony say goodnight. He slammed his bedroom door and insisted on being left alone. As he attempted to settle down and sleep, his mind was filled with the book he’d just finished. He’d found it on Loki’s shelves in the reading nook, a childs book about two girls who move to a boarding school with their parents. He’d started it because of the school, but got more than he bargained for. The final twist saw the death of one of the sisters as she plummeted from the school tower, and this swamped Peter’s mind. He’d cried reading the final chapter, and he screwed his face up now, trying to block out the feeling of falling. 

He fell asleep, but the story invaded his subconscious. Looking back, he wasn’t sure if, in the dream, he was experiencing it, or if he was the girl from the book. He was tangled in hot and cold, balancing precariously, the evening wind blowing in his face as the window disappeared. He heard the screams, saw the bright flashes from fireworks filling the sky. The crowd shrieked, and he shouted to let them know it was only him, tugging the shawl from his head, tugging too hard - wobbling, slipping, falling. All in a second, he watched the tower window get further away, watched the ground get closer, seeing his death, terrified, screaming - 

Peter woke up, tangled in his bedding, still screaming in the pitch black, trapped between dream and reality, unable to see, unable to breathe, unable to see what was real and what was not.

In an instant strange light flooded the room, hands untangled him from the quilt and pulled him close. 

“Hey, ok, ok darling, I’ve got you, you’re ok”

“No! No! Help, please help, don’t let me fall! I’m sorry, Pearl! Help!!” Peter screamed.

Tony held him tight, stroking his hair firmly. “It was just a dream. It was only a dream. I’ve got you. You’re safe, Peter. You’re safe with me”

Peter stopped screaming, coming back to reality, and starting to sob instead. Tony rocked him, trying to calm here.

“There now, sweetheart. Shh. It was just a dream”

He couldn’t help thinking that something had to be done about these nightmares. He knew Peter would refuse a doctors appointment, but maybe he’d have to force him, just this once. It wasn’t that he was fed up comforting and looking after the boy; it was just that the disturbed nights were wearing him out. 

-

Once Peter had stopped crying, Tony gently pushed him off his lap so they could talk face-to-face. 

“There now. Are you alright?”

Peter wiped his face with his sleeve and said nothing. 

“Sweetheart. Talk to me”

“I’m so scared... I can’t go to this school, I just can’t”

“What happened in your nightmare?” 

Peter turned his head away. He didn’t want to talk about it, and Tony realised this.

“Ok. Whatever it was, it was just a dream. Nothing more” he checked his watch. “It’s late, and you’ve got to be up in the morning. Let’s get you a drink and then see if you can get back to sleep”

-

Peter had his drink and sat quietly with the empty glass in his hands. Tony gave him a quick hug.

"Ok, back to sleep now” he said, standing up and taking the glass from him. “You need the rest” 

Peter swallowed hard. “I can’t do this” 

Tony sighed. “You’ve gotta go to school, kiddo. Look, it was just a dream. You’re fine. Go back to sleep”

“I can’t stop thinking about it”

“The nightmare?”

“The book”

“Which book?”

Peter picked a book up from the floor, handing it to him. Tony vaguely recognised it. Loki had read it before, he was sure. He flicked through the pages, catching a few words about boarding schools and attic rooms. He flicked to the back, reading the final event and skim-reading the aftermath. He sighed heavily.

“This is a kids book, an absolute work of fiction, and you’re letting it dictate your feelings towards St Hendricks. Please, just be reasonable. Reading drama books and making silly stereotype-based assumptions is so counterproductive. You’re just working yourself up into a silly state over nothing”

“It might be a drama but it’s not fantasy! It could happen, you know it could!”

“No it couldn’t. Now stop being so silly. You’ve been offered a place at a prestigious private school - which you accepted - which will set you up for life. It’s an incredible opportunity and you need to understand how lucky you are to be presented with it”

“That’s what they said in the book” Peter mumbled.

“Will you just forget the silly book, please?” he turned the book over in his hands, glancing at the blurb. “Next time you want to read something, bring it to me first so I can decide whether or not it’s suitable. I don’t care if it’s kids books; if they’re giving you nightmares, I’m not letting you read them”

“The thought of school is what’s giving me nightmares”

“The sooner you start your lessons and counselling sessions, the better. Settle down. I’m going back to bed soon” 

“I don’ wanna be alone...” Peter whimpered, knuckling his eyes.

Tony sighed. “Ok, alright, alright. I’ll stay with you”

He made Peter lie down and climbed into bed beside him, tucking him in and holding him close. 

“Now go to sleep”

-

Peter felt sick when he woke up. Truly, dreadfully sick. His head was banging, his throat was sore, his mouth was dry, and he felt weird and shaky.

“Let’s get your breakfasted” Tony said. “Before you get dressed. I don’t want you spilling stuff all down your new uniform”

Peter looked at his uniform, set out waiting for him. It made him feel even worse.

“I don’t feel well...” he croaked.

“You’re just nervous. You’ll feel better with a full stomach, trust me. Come on, get up! Big day today!”

Peter stayed where he was, shivering. Tony felt his forehead.

“You’re fine. We’ll have breakfast, and then you can have a quick wash and get dressed. We’ve got plenty of time yet”

-

Peter felt a lot less ill after having breakfast and a wash, but he still felt sick with nerves. He was scared, and he didn’t know how to deal with it, so he kicked off. 

“Peter, how many times? You’re going whether you like it or not”

“Well I don’t like it! I don’t wanna go to school with a bunch of toffee-nosed twats!”

“Peter! How many times do I have to tell you not to swear? I should wash your mouth out with soap” he shook his head. “Now go and get into your uniform”

“No! I don’t want to do this! It’s not fair!” 

Tony looked at him, feeling fed up. He knew he was playing up because he was upset and scared. The tears in his eyes were proof enough of that. Still, it wasn’t the best time for him to kick off. Tony grabbed him and dragged him to his room.

“Ow! Hey, what are you doing?”

“Well, if you won’t get into your uniform yourself, then I’ll do it for you”

-

Within a couple of minutes, Tony had managed to quench Peter’s anger. With the boy calm (but still crying delicately), Tony managed to coax him into his school clothes. Peter stood awkwardly, shuffling inside his new uniform. 

“I don’t like it. Why does it have to be so tight?”

“It’s not tight, Peter: it’s fitted. You look good, like a proper little gent. Hey, do your top button back up! Stand up straight, lets get a proper look at you” he twitched Peter’s uniform, tweaking his collar and straightening his tie and blazer. “There. Put your hat and shoes on”

“I’m not wearing the hat”

“Oh, go on; it’ll be dead cute”

“I’m not wearing the hat”

“Fine, fine. Get your shoes on then” 

He picked up Peter’s new satchel, checking the contents and nodding approvingly. 

“Why did we have to get a satchel?” Peter asked, wrinkling his nose as Tony did the straps back up. “I’m used to backpacks”

“It’s a backpack satchel” Tony pointed out. “You can wear it just the same. It’s just loads nicer”

Peter looked at the thin straps and buckle closings on the brown leather. Tony saw his face.

“It’s a lovely bag! Don’t you like it? It's a proper bag, not one of your chainstore rubbish ones that only lasts five minutes”

Peter knew. He’d been there when they’d bought it. Tony hadn’t blinked handing over $250 for the simple bag (“It’s real leather, a proper Cambridge Satchel Company bag”). Peter had objected, saying the $10 ones he always had were more than good enough, but Tony had said that if he was going to a proper posh school, he should have the bag to match. He hadn’t given him much say in any of his school supplies. Peter tried hard not to be ungrateful, but he didn’t like the satchel, or a lot of the other stuff. He still found it hard to understand how Tony could spend so much money on a single item without blinking. 

- 

"It's freezing out there today. Where did you put your new coat?" 

Peter whined quietly. The duffel coat Tony had bought him was another hated item. He'd shoved it in the back of the shoe cupboard, hoping Tony wouldn't remember it. 

"Can't I just wear a hoodie?" 

"Certainly not! I don't think hoodies are St Hendricks approved. Your new coat is lovely. Where is it?" 

"In the shoe cupboard" 

"Go and get it, then!" 

Peter didn't have a choice. He retrieved the coat, holding it over his arm. 

"Put it on then" Tony said. 

"Do I have to?" 

"Yes. Come on, you can't go out without a coat, not on a day like today" 

Peter reluctantly pulled the coat on. Tony did the buttons and toggles up for him.

"It looks good!" 

Peter wasn't convinced. "I look like Oliver Tate" 

Tony laughed. Peter undid the buttons and toggles, adjusting the coat edges. He looked at himself in the mirror. It was certainly better undone. He kept looking at himself, in his smart shoes and uniform and posh coat. He didn't look like himself at all. 

"Hey, don't cry!" Tony pulled him close. "I know, you're nervous" 

"I don't want to go! It doesn't feel right!" he went to wipe his eyes with his sleeve, but Tony stopped him quickly. 

"Not on your sleeve! Here" he felt in Peter's front blazer pocket, pulling out the handkerchief Loki had given him, and dabbing at the boys face. "You don't want soggy cuffs on your new uniform" 

"I can't use that in school!" 

"Of course you can! All the other kids will. Come on now, stop crying. You don't want to turn up with red eyes now, do you?" 

Peter focused on his breathing, and after a few minutes he was quiet. Mostly. Tony kissed his nose. 

"Right, I think we'd better be going soon" Tony said. "Did you brush your hair this morning?" 

"Um.." 

Tony grabbed a comb and dragged it through Peter's hair. 

"Oooowww! You're pulling my head off!" 

"Don't be such a drama queen. It's all knotted. Honestly Peter, have the gorilla's been at it in the night?" 

"I don't know, have you?" 

"Oi! Cheeky! Hold still, will you? It'll take longer if you keep wiggling" 

Peter whined and stopped struggling. It felt like Tony was carving grooves into his skull with the comb, and he was relieved when he stopped. 

"There" Tony said. "Much better" 

"Is it?" 

"Yes. Now" he picked up Peter's satchel and handed it to him. "Let's get you to school" 

- 

Peter sat in the car with the posh satchel on his lap, looking down at his highly polished shoes. Everything about it felt so wrong. 

When they parked up in front of the school he felt like he really might throw up. It was eight thirty. Tony had said they'd been told to get there early. They had things to sort out, he said. 

"Good morning Peter, Mr Stark" Mr Pipe-Fowler greeted them at reception. 

He had another student with him, a pretty girl in the top year with long blonde hair and a big smile. Her short skirt showed off a lot of long, thin leg. Peter looked up at Mr Pipe-Fowler instead. 

"My, my, you really are nervous!" he said, looking at the trembling boy before him. "Now, I've got something for you" 

He handed Peter an A4 size whiteboard, thick with wooden edges, and a four-pack of dry erase markers; black, blue, red, and green. Peter took it, struggling to keep hold of it he was shaking so much. He looked at Tony for answers. 

"We understand you're non-verbal" Mr Pipe-Fowler continued. "So you can use the whiteboard to communicate with us. Now, these are also for you" he handed him a ring bound school planner, and a timetable. "We do things by week here. You'll notice that your timetable is split into week one and week two. It's always advertised in reception which week it is, so you shouldn't get stuck. This week is week one, so you'll be looking at the top timetable. Please take care of your planner. All of your homework slips and important notices will need to go in there. Now, I believe you've been told about seeing Miss Marns?" 

Peter looked at Tony again, but Mr Pipe-Fowler answered. 

"She's our on-site therapist" he said. "We've put you down for two sessions a week right now. Mondays and Thursdays. You'll be delivered a note telling you where to go for it" 

Peter looked at his feet. He felt embarrassed having it talked about to openly, especially in front of the girl, who was still by the headmasters side. 

"Now, Peter, I'd like you to meet Alison. She's going to be your Big Sister" 

Peter looked up, and Alison grinned at him. 

"Hey, Little Brother!" 

Even Tony seemed confused now. "Big Sister?" he questioned. 

"It's something of a scheme we use when people join us mid-term. At the start of a term, the children tend to learn their way around together with the maps, (there's one on the back of your timetable), but of course this doesn't happen with single children joining. Alison here will show Peter around, taking him to and from lessons, letting him get to know the layout for the first three days. On the last two days of the week, she will see him in the morning and afternoon, and after that, twice a week to see how he's getting on. She'll look after him" 

"Oh, I see" Tony said. "Well, that sounds like a good idea to me" 

"You'll be in form H3, Peter" he said. "Alison here will guide you" he checked his watch. "It's nearly time for registration. Say goodbye to your father now"

A big part of Peter wanted to scream and shout and cling to Tony and refuse to let go. But he was shaking so much he could hardly move, and his eyes were so filled with tears that he could hardly see. Peter looked at Tony. Behind them, he saw a girl about his own age hugging her father goodbye. No one made fun of her or started shouting things. Peter swallowed very hard and hugged Tony as tight as he could with full hands. He started crying properly, burying his face in his chest.

“I’ll pick you up again after school” he held him at arms length. “No tears, please”

Peter couldn’t help it. He didn’t want to be left here, not on his own. He wanted to go back to the house. 

“Right, be good” Tony kissed Peter’s forehead. “I’ll see you after school”

He chucked him under the chin, bid farewell to Mr Pipe-Fowler, smiled at Alison, and left Peter in their capable hands.

-

Mr Pipe-Fowler wished Peter luck, told him to smile, and left him with Alison. Alison put an arm round his shoulders and hugged him.

“First days are tough” she said. “I joined mid-term, just like you, in the first year. The thought of starting is always worse than the reality”

Peter didn’t say anything. He went to wipe his eyes on his sleeve, thought better of it, and used his handkerchief instead. 

“So, you’re in H3″ she said, walking along with her arm still round him. “Your form tutor is Mrs Hathersage. She’s lovely. She teaches English, and she covers Performing Arts sometimes too. I don’t think she teaches your form though” 

Peter looked at his new white board and pens. He supposed it was a good idea. He thought he should probably write a message to Alison, but he didn’t feel like saying anything at all. He was too scared. Alison didn’t seem to mind. She chatted away to him as she guided him to the H3 form room. 

She didn’t knock, just pushed the door open. The lady stood behind the desk smiled at them.

Alison grinned. “I’ve got your newest form member!” 

“Oh yes, Peter Parker, isn’t it?” She smiled, holding a hand out to Peter. “I’m Mrs Hathersage. I’ll be your form tutor”

Peter shook hands even though he didn’t really want to. He felt ok under Alison’s arm, but meeting new people still felt like a dreadful thing. He glanced round the room. It was surprisingly empty, with less than half of the seats taken. No one was really looking, too absorbed in their own conversations. 

“We’re a bit thin on the ground right now, as you can see” Mrs Hathersage said. “Half the class are away on the Spanish trip. They’ll be back for lessons next week”

Alison gave Peter a quick squeeze. “I’ve got to go and register in my own form, but I’ll be back to take you to your first lesson”

Mrs Hathersage smiled at her. “Thank you, Ali. I’ll see you soon”

Alison gave Peter one final squeeze and skipped off, waving as she went. Peter looked at the space where she’d been, and slowly back to Mrs Hathersage. He could feel everyone looking at him now. It was only a matter of time before things went wrong. He stood there not knowing what to do, shaking like a leaf, tears still in his eyes.

He felt so alone.

*

[taaroko]

Post-IW MCU Rewatch: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Here we go, Winter Soldier. I somehow never watch this one outside of marathons, even though I know it’s amazing. 

ON YOUR LEFT

Steve and Nat’s friendship is awesome. I love how invested she is in his love life and how confused he is by that.

“Well, all the guys from my barbershop quartet are dead, so no, not really.” I’m still trying to figure out how to define Steve’s sense of humor. It’s like quiet, deadpan understatement? I guess? I love it.

That shield looks pretty dingy, Cap. Could do with a wash.

There’s a really random sting in the score when Nat attacks a dude, and for a second you think it’s going to be a kinda retro spy score, but then it’s just over. Weird.

Steve has by now adjusted quite well to being a part of modern tactical missions, if less so to being a part of modern everyday life.

This French pirate dude really likes his unnecessary acrobatics.

Bonus points to Cap for doing trash talk in French.

One of the best parts about Steve and Nat’s friendship is how seamlessly they work together in battle. Whenever there’s something dangerous (especially explosions) on the way, she hunkers down or grabs onto him and lets him and his shield do the work, and they don’t even have to signal each other.

“Last time I trusted someone, I lost an eye.” Oooooh I wonder if that has anything to do with the Skrulls in Captain Marvel. Can’t wait to find out.

“I thought the punishment usually came after the crime.” “By holding a gun to everyone on earth and calling it protection.” “This isn’t freedom. This is fear.” Cap is not down with your surveillance state or pre-crime nonsense.

I love the awed little kid who spots him. So cute.

*pauses on Bucky’s memorial* “When Bucky Barnes first met Steve Rogers on the playgrounds of Brooklyn, little did he know that he was forging a bond that would take him to the battlefields of Europe and beyond. Born in 1916, Barnes grew up the oldest child of four. An excellent athlete who also excelled in the classroom, Barnes enlisted in the Army shortly after the attack on Pearl Harbor. After winter training at Camp McCoy, Wisconsin, Barnes and the rest of the 107th shipped out to the Italian front. Captured by Hydra troops later that fall, Barnes endured long periods of isolation, depravation, and torture. But his will was strong. In an ironic twist of fate, his prison camp was liberated by none other than his childhood friend, Steve Rogers, now Captain America. Reunited, Barnes and Rogers led Captain America’s newly formed unit, the Howling Commandos. Barnes’s marksmanship was invaluable as Rogers and his team destroyed Hydra bases and disrupted Nazi troop movements throughout the European Theater.

Wait a second. Up top, the thing says he was born in 1916, but at the bottom, it says he lived from 1917-1944. Wow. Nice continuity there, guy in charge of putting words and numbers on a single pane of glass.

Peggy! “He saved over a thousand men, including the man who would become my husband.” Yes and that man was Daniel Sousa. Oh hey, photos of Peggy with her kids! She had at least one son and one daughter. It’s hard to tell if the girl with her in the first picture is the same one as in the second picture.

The effect to make Hayley look old isn’t nearly as good as the effect to make Chris look skinny. It’s rather off-putting, actually. But oh man her dementia is so heartbreaking. “Well I couldn’t leave my best girl. Not when she owes me a dance.” *sobbing*

“What makes you happy?” “I don’t know.” *more sobbing* Everything that made Steve happy is seventy years gone. Steve is never not sad. No wonder he refuses to compromise for a second when it comes to Bucky.

The attack on Fury’s car is so nerve-wracking and he handles it so well. I wonder if Sam Jackson imagined he was going to get so much cool stuff to do in this role when he agreed to be in the end credits stinger of Iron Man.

The Winter Soldier’s introduction is masterful.

So...Fury pretty much got out of that by using his lightsaber. :D

Hi Sharon! This is some cute flirting.

“My wife kicked me out.” Was it because you insisted on taking your super-suit out for some daring do?

There it is. That Winter Soldier music. *shiver*

I totally bought Fury’s death when I saw this in theaters. Not sad that it turned out to be a ruse (I will never be sad about Marvel pulling character death-related punches), but I do think those bullet wounds were a little too convincing.

“To build a really better world sometimes means having to tear the old one down.” Heh. Except Cap is going to be tearing down your “better” world and standing up for the best parts of the old one.

Elevator fight! I love how observant Steve is. He’s always been that way. Just quietly taking in everything around him and putting it together. He’s brilliant. And then “It kinda feels personal.” Bahaha.

So if Steve falls a couple hundred feet and lands on his shield, it absorbs the impact ‘cause it’s vibranium?

Holy crap he took down a quinjet with just his shield.

I am not a fan of Nat’s straight hair in this one, especially with that center part. But it’s still better than how it looks in Infinity War. Especially the eyebrows.

Undercover engaged hipster couple Steve/Nat is so great. Steve is so bad at it and it’s adorable.

“Public displays of affection make people very uncomfortable.” “Yes, they do.”

I love Nat putting her feet on the dash.

There’s no way Nat didn’t know who Peggy Carter was. She asked Steve to gage his reaction.

They are pretty far underground, in a bunker. How did the missile even affect them? Did they make a special chute for the missile to go into in case they needed to blow up the base? Doesn’t look like it.

The design for Zola’s computer face is effectively creepy.

Hydra’s plan is so insidious and horrifying. Screw up the world on purpose until people want to trade their privacy and freedom for security.

That’s a really pathetic amount of milk Pierce poured himself. Like two inches in a really tall glass. Weird.

So...I guess Sam has a straightener. For some reason. Why couldn’t they have just let Nat’s hair stay wavy?

Steve is so sweet with Nat. She’s numbly horrified that she might’ve been working for the bad guys this whole time and he’s all nice and reassuring. Aww.

Senator Stern arranging for a young prostitute with Sitwell is gross.

Nat: *kicks a guy off the roof* *immediately transitions to asking Steve about girls he could be asking out*

Okay how does Sam have access to military equipment like his wing pack when he’s not on active duty?

STEPHEN STRANGE. How is he already on Hydra’s radar? There’s no way Zola’s algorithm accounts for magic, and even if it does, how can it possibly predict that he’d become a master of it several years down the line? It’s not like he was dabbling in it in his surgeon days. That came about as the result of a freak car accident! Pfft. They clearly only threw that reference in there to get people freaking out about a possible future Doctor Strange movie. 

Bye Sitwell.

Hehe, as soon as the Winter Soldier shows up, Nat crawls into Steve’s lap ‘cause she knows he’s gonna have to make an insane exit and she will be PREPARED.

Okay I never noticed that Bucky ripped the freaking steering wheel out.

Gah, Steve getting tossed off the bridge and into the bus looks so incredibly painful.

So Bucky has now shot Nat twice. (I still ship it.)

There are some excellent kicks and knife fighting moves in this showdown. And the way the music ramps up is hair-raising.

I hate Runlow so much.

Maria is awesome.

Um, hi, Joe Russo. He plays Fury’s doctor! Dang! No role for Anthony, though.

“I’m with you to the end of the line.”

Yesss. Vintage Cap. And the shield is clean now! Symbolism!

HI DANNY PUDI. (Apparently Alison Brie was going to be Sharon Carter, but she had scheduling conflicts.)

I love this brave curly-haired kid. This is courage. He has no power and he’s so scared he might wet himself, but he will not launch those helicarriers even with a gun to his head.

Shouldn’t have helped SHIELD with that repulsor tech, Tony.

Okay, I guess Steve can tuck and roll to land a fifty foot drop without using the shield.

These helicarriers store their data in a really strange way.

“We’re the only air support Captain Rogers has got!” *all immediately get shot down and blown up by the Winter Soldier* Whoops.

I wonder if we’re gonna find out more about Bogota in Captain Marvel.

STEVE IS A CRAZY PERSON. You do not jump before you know you have your ride!

It’s a good thing Bucky neither knew nor cared what that data blade was.

I’d love to read a fic that’s just Steve and Thor sitting around talking about all the times Bucky and Loki have shot and/or stabbed them.

Sam has the correct reaction to Runlow’s nonsense.

Why is Jeremy Irons on the list of targets? I wish they’d put more Easter eggs in here, like the names of the Netflix Marvel characters and the Agents of Shield characters. It would’ve been an extremely unobtrusive way for the movies to reference the shows, instead of it always being one-sided.

It’s a good thing they were planning on firing after the count of 3, not on the count of 3.

Steve, you really need to work on your attitude towards exit strategies.

HOW did Runlow survive that?!

Steve would rather Bucky kill him than live in a world where Bucky can’t be saved. And that’s what saves Bucky. *wibble*

“On your left.” Bahaha.

Hi Pietro and Wanda!

Winter Soldier is awesome. I love a well-earned, narratively consistent game changer. One thing I definitely did not expect the MCU to do back then was buck the status quo, but they did it in a huge way, and they did it extremely effectively. I was deeply impressed. And it still holds up even looking back now. The way they tackle the issue of surveillance is very effective. Probably the best thing about this movie is that they realized that Steve Rogers was not going to work as a character if he adapted too much to modern times. Instead, they derived much of their conflict from the disconnect between Steve and his surroundings, and they added a deeply emotional connection at the core of it. Steve ultimately succeeds against Hydra and in getting through to Bucky by shedding his modern trappings and affiliations and going back to what he always was, complete with the old outfit and the shiny clean shield. Steve Rogers reminds us of the ideals America is supposed to stand for. Freedom, justice, honor, and truth. He makes us want to be more like that. Take a note, DC; this is the kind of thing you should’ve been doing with Superman. This is how you make a paragon character we can still be deeply invested in even as we look up to him. (They did a pretty good job with Diana, but the real test will be how she adapts in a more modern stand-alone film.)

Another great thing about this is that they kind of dumped all the side characters from Avengers into Steve’s story. As the First Avenger and as a man out of time, this a brilliant way to give him a new supporting cast without it being jarring and forcing us to spend a ton of time getting to know everyone. We already know Fury, Nat, and Maria and like them, so we’re perfectly prepared to watch them being awesome without feeling like it takes something away from Steve. We know the World Security Council. We know SHIELD. And then there’s Peggy, the Smithsonian exhibit, and Bucky that are all from Steve’s time. It’s a very solid foundation onto which we can add Sam, Sharon, Pierce, and Runlow. It just works so well. And Hydra manages to be even more frightening as an evil organization than it was in the first movie, when it was honestly kind of silly. (So many bonus points for how that played out in Agents of SHIELD, too. As far as I’m concerned, that was when the show finally got good, and it has steadily gotten better since.)

[ninjakitty15]

Chapter 18: Spiderman With a Plan (Loki x OFC pairing)

May came back before Loki could teleport us away or Peter could even hide us. It took a bit of explaining and convincing to let an alien war criminal and a walking, slowly healing corpse stay but between Peter telling her we had in fact been staying with Tony up till now and she trusted Tony almost as much as she trusted her nephew, and me swearing they aren't in danger as Hydra doesn't want Peter, only me, she seemed to yield at the end. Loki then offered a better place for them if they didn't feel safe with us being around but the two of them turned down his offer, stating that if Spiderman's enemies didn't even know where he lived, ours wouldn't either. Loki then promised if that wasn't the case and they came after them, to have Spiderman find us and Loki would fix the damage for them. I had to look at him then, being all generous and gentlemanly when the world pegged him for a narcissistic megalomaniac war criminal.

"I kinda get the sense you were a bit like him when you were...a kid? I'm sorry, I'm not familiar with Asgardian years, is it like dog years? No wait are humans like dog years compared to you lot?" I asked Loki.

"What do you think I was like as a child that you see with Parker?" asked Loki in amusement.

"Quiet, eager to please, exceptionally clever compared to most your age there, desperately wanting to find your place, maybe a little bit awkward but still quite gifted though few see that last quality or care enough to notice."

Loki was quiet for a moment, probably trying to remember what he was actually like way way way back when he was a wee bairn but the slowly creasing brow seemed to imply I was at the very least not off the mark that bad. "Why do you think I'm like him?"

"I'd say more he's like you as you were here eons before he was. But to answer your question...I can't say how long I've been around but I do know I've been around long enough to study people and see details most might miss in interactions and reactions. When you're around anyone like Thor, you kinda have this aura of irritation, even though it's not him all the time, the kind of person who charged head and fists first into any kind situation, all about action and making a great mess. When it comes to interacting with someone with more wit, more intelligence, more analytical and less physical stuff, you're more reserved in reaction, more curious and intrigued. The same kind of qualities I see in you, you see in others and I know there's plenty of self love in that icicle of a heart you have, maybe not at first, but it's definitely there now." Both Peter and Loki stared at me with damn near identical expressions of something between "wtf" and "how the hell did you figure all this out, who are you?". "What? You think I didn't notice between the jokes and the constant commentaries? Just because I'm physically and legally dead, doesn't mean I'm brain dead too."

"You sure I'm not just rubbing off on you," teased Loki.

"I told you I'm not terribly fond of that action to begin with, it's gross. Also and more importantly, I find your lack of faith disturbing, as you should recall even in your ancient age, I was muzzled when you found me and I don't always need to use my mouth when calling the dead so..."

Loki was about to retort I assume but as he opened his mouth to do so, Peter beat him to it. "Hydra muzzled you?"

"Initially they didn't but when you're me and hoping they get so annoyed by your jokes and taunts that maybe they'll let you go because nothing else they did to me worked like they wanted, they decided a muzzle wasn't just for dogs. In my defense, I had been stuck in that cramped glass cell for apparently 5 years with no outside contact, I honestly don't know how I'm still somewhat sane after all that time alone."

"Well maybe it's because time has no effect on the dead, right?" offered Peter hopefully.

I opened my mouth to object but damn if he wasn't a mortal, Midgardian version of Loki always being on par with his points. "Okay, you win that round. It felt like a few months to me, color me shell shocked when I was actually told how long I was down there and how much stuff I missed out on."

"I'm still not completely sold on you actually being dead when you're walking and talking in front of me though," Peter muttered.

"Seeing isn't always believing, hun. Here, check for a pulse or any way to tell if a person is dead or alive these days."

"Then how are you here? And also, if you are in fact a necromancer, aren't you susceptible to being controlled by another necromancer since you're dead too?"

"Under normal circumstances, maybe, but alas I'm anything but normal so nah."

"What are you then?"

I gave the kid a sinister smile. "Pray you never find out because when you do...you'll wish you never met me."

"You can't be that bad if Tony Stark took you in."

"Tony Stark means well and is insanely smart but mostly just insane, I mean he did essentially invent his own supervillain with Ultron on Slovakia and then more or less help in making an infinity stone with Vision, didn't he? More recently though he gave insanely expensive superhero equipment to a teenager too smart for his own good. Think of it this way, Hydra wants Capsicle dead because he's too good to be made useful to them, nothing they can do will make him the next Winter Soldier. A good heart will almost always be a good heart unless the ones let into that heart break it which won't be Hydra ever, that's for damn sure. Hydra can break many things but a heart ain't one. Now take a heart that's not all good, one that has no strict moral compass or doesn't lean toward one end or another, that one more than a good or even an evil one, can be useful. They want me alive because I'm useful and now they know how to make it theirs through Loki. If they really thought their efforts in extracting stuff from me was fruitless, they'd kill me any way possible or at least leave me for dead or let me go even but they didn't as Loki can attest, I was still chained down and muzzled in a glass cell when he found me."

"Are you seriously trying to convince me that you're actually a chaotic neutral?" Peter asked incredulously.

"That is exactly what I'm telling you I am. I mean yeah I try my best to keep the peace and natural order between me and the others like me but look how fucking well that's going when they're either dying out or switching sides. I'd say I'd like to be more toward lawful neutral but then I'd be lying because lawful is fucking boring having to follow the rules so blindly."

"What's wrong with rules?"

"Nothing, they're just meant to be broken is all and no one seems to get that."

"Nothing's made to be broken though," Peter argued.

"I disagree, Reginald, pinatas are, glowsticks, karate boards, pasta when you have a small pot, those party crackers. Loki, can you think of anything?"

"Glasses or goblets for really good drinks you want more of, good riding horses that haven't been trained yet, new footwear, a lady's hymen," Loki continued.

"I'ma stop you right there before you get too graphic."

"You asked, don't get shy on me now."

"Shy? I'm sorry, have you met me? I joked about oral when we first met, how the fuck is that shy? I'm censoring you for Peter's sake as we're guests and don't want to overstay our welcome."

"Seriously?" squeaked Peter. "I'm sorry, you're trapped in some base and the first non Hydra person you see, who just happens to be a war criminal from another planet that attacked this city not too long ago, and you blatantly flirt with him?"

"'K first of all, back off on the judging, buddy, you don't know what it's like being trapped with the same ugly assholes for an extended period of time and wishing for a new face regardless of their intentions. Secondly, he's hot so there's that and just cuz I'm dead doesn't mean I don't have some needs left in me, a few select things make me feel alive again, he turned out to be one of them. Also, did I mention he's hot and he really pulls off the green god look in all leather and stuff."

"You weren't the least bit worried?"

"What's he gonna do? Kill me? Good luck, he ain't the first to try it."

"Okay, you are way too casual about being wanted dead or deader."

I snorted. "Very little fazes me these days, if I got myself worked up over every little obstacle I would be a cold mess and never leave the grave I crawled out of."

"Wise words from a dead girl," teased Loki who got punched in the arm again, this time my fingers didn't break but he was still made of solid ice so it pretty much bounced off him.

"I'm curious which of the two of you has more secrets, I mean Loki is kinda known for that kind of thing but then there's you who's been dropping hints there's a lot we don't know about you, you're just so casual about them whereas if Loki drops hints he comes off completely devious and cunning about it, like he's flaunting it almost."

"That's because Loki is the god of teasing," I mused. "In many ways. And he's had many many lifetimes in his old age to perfect it. Yeah that's right, tease me about being corpse all you want, but remember you're basically a cradle robbing necrophiliac for shacking up with a dead girl that's not even a fourth of your age."

"I might be over a thousand or so years old but between that being still young in Asgardian years as you call it and no one outside you and the Avengers knowing how old I am just by looking at me, that's not actually that much of an issue. Nice try though."

"You're over a thousand?" questioned Peter in shock. "How long before you actually get gray hairs?"

"I'm working on that," I joked.

Loki scowled at me then and shook his head. "A few more thousand I should say, might be different for me being a Frost Giant rather than actual Asgardian."

"Do you age at all?" Peter asked me.

"My body is in a state of dead stasis, it can't change or age and always returns to the same state of death. It's how I heal like I do."

"But didn't you say Loki's magic could undo that?"

"He's probably the only one that can at the moment, him and the wankers that stole some of his power to use against me. I don't know the specifics but I'm guessing because I'm a source of death magic and his is either exactly or closely related to living magic, the two cancel each other out."

"I'm still not happy about them doing that nor do I know how," muttered Loki.

"Like you said, that part doesn't matter at this point, they have it and unfortunately they know how to use it. We just gotta figure out how to undo that so I don't get shot full of rocksalt again, that shit stings like swallowing an angry beehive."

"I-I might have an idea if I remember your other powers correctly," Peter spoke up, looking at Loki eagerly. "Also, random question, which of you is actually more powerful?"

Loki and I looked at each other for a moment then both at Peter at the same time.

"He's been around eons longer than I have and acquired a fuckton more power over time than I have but the power I have isn't remotely like his so I'm not even sure the two are comparable, he built his up over time, I earned it another way entirely and not all on my own like I'm willing to bet he has."

Loki then looked back at me and I could almost hear the gears grinding in his head, knowing he had picked up more of the many hints I've dropped about myself to collect and analyze later. "Are you ever going to tell me the whole story?"

"If that's allowed but ultimately it's not up to me to decide that," I replied softly. "So this plan of yours, Pete, do tell!"

"Well first, Loki, would you be affected by your own magic hitting you."

"If it came from me, no, if someone else can wield magic like mine then yes."

"Then I got an idea that should work."