#i went to the people she had on her calender and got nothing

[whatyoutaughtwasfear]

Begging Shadows of doubt to change the name of the case "Corpo Killer" bc that is the only reason i figured it out

[fallingdownhell]

Hello!! If your requests are open do you have any plans on writing something similar to genshin men forgetting your birthday but with different characters? :D maybe diluc and/or kaeya for example

Sure can do! Angst will always be my favourite!

Characters Included: Diluc; Kaeya

Content: gender neutral reader; hurt/no comfort; angst; the boys don't realize their mistakes; cursing; not proofread yet

Word count: 1,3k words

Enjoy the heartbreak<3

Diluc

Being with Diluc was exhausting sometimes. And sometimes, it felt like you were in no relationship to begin with. You knew that protecting the city and it's people was important to Diluc, but.. sometimes you just wished to be his number one...

Sometimes, you really wonder how you managed to stay in this relationship for three long years without any issue.. then again, its not like it has always been this way.

The first two years were amazing. Diluc was an attentive lover, always concerned about your well being, that you felt comfortable with him. Only recently did that seem to change. He had less and less time for you, always coming back home in the dead of night and left before you woke up in the morning.

You tried to deal with it somehow, since talking to him about it was apparently no option, seeing as he always pushed you away when you tried approaching the topic with him.

But today... today might just be your last straw..

In all the three years with him, Diluc has always made it a point to make your birthday a most special occaison. Telling you weeks in advance to clear this day up since he wanted to spend it with you. He always planned something different, but you loved it each time.

This year, however, nothing came from him. No notice to keep your calender clean, nothing.

You thought, that when you spotted him in bed next to you this morning, maybe you just thought wrong and he wanted to surprise you.

But when he woke up, no words of gartulations left his mouth. Instead, he simply got up, got dressed and went out again, but not before telling you that he would be back for dinner tonight.. which was a rare occaison as well.

You tried so hard to give him the benefit of the doubt.. going about your day at the mansion, going on a walk in the nice, afternoon soon as people from the Dawn Winery congratulated you for your special day. You thanked them, while trying to keep your composure.

Nothing meant anything to you when the person closest to you didn't remember it themselves...

Night came, and with it came dinner time. Adelinde took the time out of her day to prepare a full on five course meal, all consisting of your favourite dishes. You told her multiple times that this wasn't necessary at all, but she wouldn't have it. So, as fate would have it, you were now enjoying the food... however, alone.

Diluc has yet to show up, but not wanting to let the food get cold, you decided to just start eating.

Later on, you realized that the dissapointment washing over you didn't even face you anymore, having expected this outcome already.

So, you ate quietly, until the door to the mansion opened, revealing the owner of Dawn Winery himself.

"Diluc!", you exlaimed, standing up from your seat, a smile on your lips. He came after all...

But he immediately put a damper on your mood as he raised his hand, a deep sigh escaping him as he threw his coat off.

"Please, not now, (name). I'm exhausted."

With that, he went directly for the staircase, not even acknowloding anything else around him.

"But.. don't you wanna join in for dinner? There's a lot left and-!"

"I said, not now!", he suddenly yelled at you.

You were shocked, looking at him like a deer caught in headlight. Regret briefly washed over him for raising his voice at you, but he chose not to say anything. Instead, he turned around again and made his way up the stairs where he immediately went into his office, looking himself away from you again.

You watched after him, slumping back into your chair as he was out of sight. You tried so desperately to hold back your tears but they came crashing out of you as soon as you saw Adelinde leave the kitchen, a big birthday cake in her hands.

She gave you a weak, sympathetic smile as she sat down next to you on a chair, patting your back gently as you let the dissapointment sink in..

Kaeya

You were maneuvering your way through the many people in your living room, trying to get to your balcony, hoping to get some fresh air and clear your thoughts.

Lisa planned this whole thing perfectly. Keeping you busy the entire day with her while everyone else was preparing your surprise birthday party in your home.

You had not expected anything like that, especially not after the dissapointment you recieved this morning already. Kaeya has never once failed to remember any special day during your relationship. Be it a birthday, an anniversary or anything like that. You never had to remind him, he just always knew and was prepared.

So, naturally, you didn't feel the need to remind him that your birthday was coming up, thinking that he was already aware of that fact.

However, when you woke up this morning, everything was far too normal. He was still sleeping beside you, cuddling with you for a few more minutes, before you both got up and he left for work.

No congratulations, no gift, no nothing. He didn't say anything at all...

You were feeling kinda down after that, slumping around in your home.. That's when Lisa came over and practically forced you out the house. She congratulated you, then took you shopping, to lunch and so on.

She kept you busy the entire day and the incident with you boyfriend went farther and farther to the back of your mind.

That was, until you returned back to your house. Suddenly, the lights switched on before you could even do anything. People jumping out from all around, yelling "Surprise!", at you, while laughing at your flabbergasted reaction.

A surprise party.. now Lisa's behaviour made sense to you. Your mood lightened up, thinking that it must have been Kaeya's doing and planning.

You thanked everyone that came up to congratulate you, making small talk with them while trying to scan the people for your boyfriend. When you didn't see him anywhere, you went to ask Lisa about him, but she said she had no idea where he was..

This dampened your mood again, so you decided to get some fresh air, maybe that would help cool you off again.

As you were outside on the balcony, you saw Kaeya approaching your shared home. Excited, you went inside again to meet him at the front door. But when you opened it, you were met with a seemingly bad mood from your boyfriend.

Before you could ask him what was going on, he already started complaining. "Seriously? Are you for real?"

"What?", you just said, confused on what he meant. But that just seemed to frustrate Kaeya even more.

"So, everyone leaves work, leaving all of it for me to deal with, just because you decided to throw a fucking party? I've had a fucking exhausting day, (name). How do you expect me to relax with this many people here, huh?"

"I-It wasn't my-!"

"Oh, don't give me that crap! Who else if not you would plan such a thing, and in our house as well? You know what, I'm gonna leave. I'll sleep somewhere else for the night!"

And before you could say anything else, he had already turned on his heels and was walking away. You had no idea what this was about and what caused his outburst..

You were so confused about what was going on, but you felt the tears running down your face as you fell on your knees right there at the open front door while the party was still going behind you...

[jvstheworld]

The Buffy Re-watch: S1E8 (part 1)

I, Robot, You, Jane

Also known as the perils of online dating

The title itself is a play on 'Me, Tarzan, you, Jane'. The only version of Tarzan I've seen is the 1999 Disney one, Does anyone remember the TV show they did of it? And did anyone like it when it was a playable world in the first Kingdom Hearts game? For me it was kind of meh.

Straight away we know who our monster of the week is. Moloch. A demon that was around in 1400s Italy corrupting people to love him before he kills them. Sort of a Jim Jones vibe here.

Circle of Kayless. Huh, sounds kind of Klingon to me.

Evil demon is trapped in a book and kept in storage for 500 years until it happens to be in the possession of our favourite librarian. Question is: how did he get?

The first appearance of Jenny Calender. And is the complete opposite of Giles. Those tend to attract.

Giles in this season is hesitant to scan his books for easy access, but this is something he tries to do at the beginning of season 5 when he is making plans to leave for England. But the project was probably never finished as when he does leave in season 6 the gang still use the books.

Fritz's speech on the greatness of virtual vs paper is kind of true, but in a very annoying way. We currently have everything an our finger tips, news, books, TV, film, any info we want we can find by going online, and get it quicker than we can brew tea. it's convenient, anyone can access it as long as it's not behind paywall, and it is often cheaper than a physical copy. However, you don't own it. With what we are seeing with streaming services removing films and shows from their libraries is that nothing is permanent. Companies like HBO do it so they can save money. It's imperative, now more than ever, to own physic copies of the things you like because it may disappear virtually. Tech is great and using it can make lives easier, but in some cases just because you paid for it, doesn't mean you own it. Physical copies my cost more and take up space but it will still be there for later.

Giles is horrified that more interactions take place digitally that face to face. Yeah, it just gets worse over time. Giles would hate social media.

Jenny is flirting with Giles, so cute.

How is Willow scanning anything. She's holding the scanner so close to the book that she's missing both sides of the page and she did like 2 pages. What was the point of that?

Demon is a computer? Oh shit!

Chad Lindberg- also starred in Supernatural as Ash, the guy who lived at The Roadhouse with Joe and Ellen in season 2. There are a few Buffy actor who appeared in Supernatural, including Charisma Carpenter who was in season 7 episode 5 playing Maggie Stark, the wife of Don Stark who was played by James Marsters.

Did you notice that Willow has a photo of her and Giles in her locker door? When did they take that? Also gives more credence to her admission that she had a crush on him in season 4 episode 18.

Buffy has a good reason to be mistrustful about Malcolm. This was back when internet dating wasn't as prevalent as it is now. Nowadays it's more widely accepted, hell my dad met my step-mum through a dating site. The internet was still in its infancy here and Buffy just wants to make sure that Willow isn't getting catfished. I mean she is, but they don't know that yet.

An extra is talking about how his history report got messed up to say things that should not be said. We get a few details like this throughout the episode to show the scope of what Moloch is capable of.

Okay, okay, okay. I went on a couple of tangents and turned one point into a slight rant. Won't guarantee it won't happen again because it most definitely will. These posts I'm doing are in order of what happens in each episode and what I think of while watching them, so tangents happen and so long, drawn out thoughts.

Part 2 tomorrow.

[psalmsofpsychosis]

It's the most random day in known human calenders to remember this on, but back in my university years there was this girl– we were the opposite ends of most conventional societal spectrums you could think of. She was the manifestation of every physical genetic lottery win basically, like, every single thing people pay thousands of dollars to get with fillers right now, she naturally had it, super gorgeous little thing. She was in the "hot party girls" squad of our faculty, surrounded by other trendy hot girls all the time, she always dressed in very luxurious ways, makeup on point etc etc. Meanwhile i was in my own corner showing up with care bear sleep pajamas with a puffer jacket thrown on top and a combination of sunglasses+thick scarf that basically covered everything that the sunglasses weren't already covering (this is not a joke, i have pictures.), and like, i was the designated Unbearable Intellectual TM, getting into fights with professors the few times a month that i could be assed to show up.

And the thing is, this hot girl had a strange bit going on where she'd literally get into a car accident every other month and spend at least a week of it in hospital, the rest of it sort of limping around from class to class. Nobody knew what was up exactly, and the first few times people would get shocked and stay around to ask about her day and sign her foot cast, but then it just sort of became the routine and nobody cared.

Except me. We really didn't have much to talk about and she was surrounded with her hot friends all the time anyway, but i would still sometime catch her around the corner and i'd wish her speedy recovery and ask about her day, it was nothing special.

And then sometimes she'd bring her lunch to eat with me and we'd talk about class assignments, she was the only person who'd bring her art projects to me and ask for color coordination and technique advice, and i'd offer whatever i knew. And over time i found out that sometimes talking to her was so much easier than talking to my own friends. She was warm and kind and so very, very simple and sincere. I was always in the top 3 of my class and she'd be along the bottom, trying very hard, and she wasn't a jealous person at all, so she'd freely tell me that she thinks that i'm intelligent and mature, and i'd tell her that i think she's gorgeous and sweet and dear even though she nags a lot, and we'd both laugh about it. We later found out that she actually lives like, two blocks away from me and there was a 1 hour ride to our university, so she offered to pick me up at 6am on class days and drive us both to uni, and yes it was very brave of me to get in the car with a girl who got into accidents every 4 business days, but i did it anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and we'd talk about stuff on our way, she was a good listener, and she was open and honest, so in the span of two weeks she knew more about my fuckhead father than i did and i knew about her sneaking around the block to avoid her insane abusive boyfriend for 3 peaceful hours. we went shopping together a few times too, and we'd practice color harmony and makeup brands and we'd pick lipstick colors that i thought would look good on her (i did a year of makeup school a long time ago).

I think that to everyone around us we were a super weird combination, i was confident and argumentative and she was an armcandy girl who didn't really need to develop a personality, except that none of it was true, because i was the girl who'd get her crutches from the corner of the class and accompany her out in the after-class rush, and she was the girl who was not intimidated by me being smart and saw it as a beautiful thing. Her friends did not like me, to them i was irrelevant because i wasn't hot, (and i ended up ripping a whole new asshole for one of them in my last year of uni too,) but she drove me to and from university for two years, never missing a day, and she gave me random hugs during the day too. She also told me one time that she's jealous of my cheekbones because hers are flat and i solid chocked on my cheap uni coffee because afljfdtdg girl you literally are that one time god felt proud when he scuplted a human body

We grew apart after i got out of uni, but i hope she's alright and well and healthy wherever she is 🥺❤️❤️ babygirl if you read this i hope you killed your boyfriend at last and got that faux fur coat you always wanted but couldn't match up with any of your other outfits!

[ya-so-im-here]

Deathday [Larry x Ahkmenrah]

Writer: Me, I have it published under my Wattpad account TheNinjaOfCake22

Fandom: Night at the Museum

Ship: Larry Daley x Ahkmenrah

Link: https://www.wattpad.com/1122938301-deathday-larry-x-ahkmenrah-one-shot-deathday/page/6

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The sun had set and on queue Larry Daley felt the life return to the exhibits around him, changing from still wax figures to living people he called family.

Jed and Octavius spent little to know time rushing down from their separate exhibits towards the main area along with more of their friends and used the computer, it was something they had loved since Larry showed them how it worked.

Teddy rode off as usual to pick up Sacajawea from her room with Louis and Clark who since the glass had broke had an open exhibit allowing Teddy and Sacajawea to spend every night together.

Attila was seen with Dexter the two were with the rest of the Huns by Rexie. All had seemed right and normal like every night till Larry realized the one person he was always excited to see was missing from the usual night commotion.

Ahkmenrah wasn't there.

As predictable as it may seem, everyone always gathered in the main area and would spread out throughout the night, everyone would get together. Especially Ahkmenrah he was never late.

Fear and a dreading feeling began to form in Larry's stomach as he doubled and tripled check for the pharaoh, but he wasn't there.

A nagging feeling whispered in his head saying something was wrong as he began to make his way up the stairs. 'He's probably talking to someone or taking his time. There is no need to worry' he told himself but he continued on his way to Ahkmenrah's sarcophagus.

"Ahkmenrah?!" Larry called out as he made his way down the hall and towards the doorway to the pharaoh's chamber.

But there was no reply, so he called out again... no reply. He told the panicking feeling to go away he had just seen him last night and all was alright. Perhaps he's somewhere in the museum talking with the others.

'There is no need to worry'

Nonetheless he called out once more as he turned the corner and entered the Egyptian's room. "Ahkmenrah?!"

Larry walked straight to the display where his sarcophagus lay in the center of the back of the room right before the Tablet of Ahkmenrah.

Upon approach Larry looked within and saw the still body of Ahkmenrah, and instantly his heart stopped out of fear.

He reached out his hand and placed it on the pharaoh's shoulder and instantly he opened his eyes meeting Larry's worried gaze.

Larry exhaled softly seeing his friend all right and smiled lightly, but as he examined him closer he realized how still he was. He wasn't moving, didn't even smile when Larry came up and Ahkmenrah always smiled when Larry approached.

     "Hey are you alright?" He asked nervously as he kept his hand on Ahk's shoulder.

Ahkmenrah's jaw clenched and squinted lightly before he attempted a smile that failed to form. Now he definitely had something to worry about, Ahk went to open his mouth ad gasped sharply for air. "Larry" he whispered softly but before he could finish his sentence Larry had padded his shoulder and stood up straight.

"I'll be right back, okay? One moment" and he started out of the room as he heard another attempted whisper "Larry" but he was already in search for Teddy, Teddy would have answers.

Larry went turning corners quickly but not trying to cause any worry, even though he never seemed so scared before. 'Was the tablet failing?' the thought made his stomach drop, how could he live without them? they're his family and to live without Ahk, it just wasn't possible.

Bounding around a corner he noticed the swish of Texas' tail as Teddy rounded another corner, Larry just barely missing him. With a quick sprint the nightguard turned the corner and there was Teddy and Sacajawea riding Texas as they tended to do each night.

"Teddy!" Larry shouted out catching the past president's attention as well as Sacajawea's. "Something's wrong with Ahkmenrah, he's not moving and won't say anything" granted he said his name, but nothing to explain the situation. Teddy's cheerful smile fell as Sacajawea looked down both of them full of knowing.

"It's June 21st" mumbled Teddy in sorrow Wea nodded confirming his statement.

"What does that have to do with anything? What does that mean?" Larry asked looking between the two for answers. Texas turned around so that Teddy and Wea faced the night guard as they explained.

"Well Laurence, while most people marked their calender's of the day of their birth, we here mark our calender's of the day of our death." He paused a moment allowing Larry to comprehend what was being said "Today my boy, is June 21st the day our dear pharaoh died all those years ago, by the hands of none other then his own brother Kahmunrah." Teddy exhaled softly before he continued "On each of our own Deathday's we experience our deaths all over again as though it's the first time. But unlike before when death swept us away from the pain, we experience it all night, until morning when we turn back." finished explaining Teddy, who's mind had traveled to the reminder of his own death day.

Larry stood there in silence comprehending all he had heard, how had he not known about Deathday's surely someone had to have had their deathday while he was there, was he just oblivious to it? "Is there anything that can be done to help?' he asked hoping the answer was yes.

"The pain of death lasts all night nothing can stop it till the day is done, what we usually do is keep each other company on those days, no matter how one died no one should go through it again alone." Sacajawea placed her hand into Teddy's clasping is gently remembering nights she helped him on his Deathday and how he was there for her on her deathday.

Larry nodded "Alright then I'll do that..." he began to walk off before he stopped and turned back to the couple on the horse. "Teddy can you..." but before he could finish the 26th president interrupted him

"Don't worry my boy, all will be taken care of. I'll be seeing you tomorrow night" Teddy tipped his hat as they departed on their way once more and Larry began back to Ahk already feeling awful for being gone this long.

Lying in his sarcophagus Ahkmenrah was going through the pain and experience of being slashed into pieces just as he had 4,000 years ago. It was the worst feeling he had ever felt in his live and death, for a fleeting moment he tried to ignore the pain when he saw Larry's concerned and worried face he attempted to smile but the pain was too much. Then he was gone leaving him alone, just as he had been for fifty-four years.

The memories haunted him every day, the fear that when night falls he would go to rise and leave his tomb but be locked in just like before and no one would let him out, that he would once again be forever trapped, and utterly alone.

He could hear them all, the old night guards talking as they passed the hall never daring to enter his room and free him no matter how hard and long he screamed. He would shake and scream hoping just hoping someone would let him out anyone at all.

Then there was something different the old voices of the night guards were replaced with one young voice, and soon the entire museum was truly alive. He could hear them walking around, doing their own thing, talking to one another.

He was angry with himself when he dared let his hopes rise that perhaps the new night guard would let him out. Nights past and nothing no one freed him, he even heard another say he would never get out.

Like before his hopes were crushed, but he screamed nonetheless he wouldn't give up. Just the slightest chance someone might take pity on him and let him go, was all he held onto.

Then it happened he heard the night guard and he was coming towards him, Ahkmenrah screamed. Screamed as loud as he could he wanted out, please he begged let this be the moment he'd be free.

When he heard the sound of the locks being removed he never felt so excited in all his life. As soon as the last lock was gone he pushed with all his strength forcing the lid of his sarcophagus to fly through the air and hit the wall.

He was free.

And there standing before him, the one who let him out of his afterlife... the new night guard, Larry Daley set him free.

He couldn't well aware explain it, but as soon as he looked upon Larry, something was different. The feeling only grew the longer they were together, on mini adventures or just hanging about in the museum.

Larry Daley was different and Ahkmenrah couldn't help but smile whenever he was near. Now he had wished more then ever he was with him now, just the split second he was and Ahkmenrah wanted to smile even though the pain hurt too much to do so.

His jaw clenched as he felt another sharp pain which over the years he distinguished as a stab wound.

Ahkmenrah closed his eyes out of pain, holding back a cry. As the night went went, it would feel worse it always did. It got to the point he would be choking on his own blood from all the wounds.

"Ahkmenrah?" The pharaoh opened his eyes once more and by his side once again was Larry. His face of concern was still there but so was a face of comfort. As though on queue upon seeing him Ahk had the instinct to smile at him like he always did, even if it hurt too much to actually do so.

Larry placed one had on Ahk's shoulder and the other on his hand, he could feel the cold sweats that covered the pharaoh's body. "It's okay, I'm here for you" the night guard stated.

Ahkmenrah attempted to open his mouth to protest, as night guard Larry had a job to do; but before he could get any words out he was interrupted.

"Don't worry, Teddy told me all about deathday just know that I'm here for you all night " whispered Larry affectionately. His eyes were gentle and while concern was still there, comfort and kindness was the expression he wore on his face so evidently. Ahk closed his eyes for a second gathering his strength before attempting to speak again.

"Larry..." he mumbled meekly "I'm fine. You have...a job..." he gasped sharply feeling the pain of another stab wound pierce through him. He still remembered the day his brother betrayed him, the pain of death seemed less then the pain of betrayal and heart break.

"Teddy has it all under control, tonight I'm here with you. You shouldn't have too experience this alone, I won't allow it" Ahkmenrah gently shook his head to the best of his ability.

"I've done this alone... for fifty-four years." he paused a moment exhaling "I'm used to it... at this point..." he finished gently. He didn't mean it as a martyr, but it was true he'd experienced his deathday alone in his sarcophagus for years.

Larry shook his shoulder gently catching the pharaoh's attention once more "Well, I'm here to end that streak" he responded kindly. Even though it hurt Ahkmenrah smiled, it was much weaker then his usually bright and vibrant smile that Larry loved so much, but he still smiled and Larry loved it nonetheless.

Ahk was at most times unable to speak other then a few words here and there, making conversation light with little responses from Ahkemenrah mostly leaving it up to Larry. The conversations were small topics, but it helped keep Ahk distracted...mostly. The feeling of being stabbed over and over again, the feeling gets worse with each stab, at this point he knew when and where each stab would appear; it was ingrained into his memory.

But this night was different and more special then Larry probably knew, Ahk would find himself forgetting the next wound which left him unexpected of the jolt of pain, but there's something worse and more painful when one is expecting the pain then when it's unexpected.

"I keep telling Erica that I have moved on and that I'm not still clinging to our marriage, but she doesn't believe me" said Larry mildly annoyed "Just this weekend when I went to pick up Nicky, she brought it up all over again, I honestly thought she was done." he shook his head.

Ahk eyed him closely before attempting a mumble "What was the...issue?" he breathed out lightly

"She said 'How do I know you moved on when you haven't dated anyone since the marriage' she just kept saying 'when was last you have an actual relationship with someone other then me' I... I don't know. I'm probably overreacting, so what if I haven't had a relationship since her. She was the once who decided to leave first no wonder she got remarried first." Larry exhaled sharply attempting to release all the negative energy. Then he turned down and looked at Ahkmenrah who was watching him intently and Larry couldn't help but notice his cheeks flush.

"I'm sorry..." he stumbled out "I'm rambling, you don't want to hear this" he went to stand up to calm his nerves, but his face seemed to be determined to remain flushed as the pharaoh made direct eye contact with the night guard, neither daring to break it.

Larry felt the heat from Ahk's hand grab his, it was comforting but it also felt different from the way Larry had been holding his. Though Larry was nervous to admit it, it felt the way that Erica would hold his hand back when they were in "love". But it also didn't feel the same, it felt more personal. Oh what was he doing, Ahkmenrah was a pharaoh, royalty he didn't feel the same way as Larry.

Hell. Larry wasn't sure what it was he was feeling, though he had to admit it would explain a lot about their relationship. Could he... could Larry Daley be in love with Ahkmenrah?

He looked at the pharaoh's gaze that held so tightly and Larry knew... He loved him.

Though weak Ahk held tight the best he could to Larry Daley's hand, listening to his conversation about Erica, well... it kept him attentive. Larry never did mention anyone romantically in all the time they knew each other and Ahkmenrah had to admit he always hoped he was the reason Larry never was with anyone else.

All the moments and time they spent together, hell back to when they first met. Larry was the first person to release him from his sarcophagus, he trusted him and they went on the journey to save his tablet. Maybe he was just overthinking everything, but Ahkmenrah knew he loved Larry Daley, he was worried that it wasn't both ways.

"Sometimes...love is hard to understand" rasped out Ahk still holding to Larry's gaze as well as his hand "Maybe, not all love..." he paused, maybe he shouldn't continue if he did the night guard was bound to understand his intentions. He could pretend to be in pain and escape the atmosphere he created, but as he looked at Larry he didn't think "Maybe, not all love...is conventional" he saw a flicker in Larry's eyes, he didn't know what it meant but it made Ahk's heart bound.

Larry was not sure what he was about to do, but he was going to do something. Not only did he fully realize he in fact did love Ahkmenrah, but that he felt the same about him! Larry's heart felt as though he was pounding out of his chest, he had to do something as a response, he was going to do something...

The pharaoh broke eye contact as he shut his eyes tight in pure pain, the night had been getting on and it was nearing it's end which meant the true, awful, agonizing pain was beginning. The final round of stab wounds impeded its way into his body "Slashed to pieces" just like on that night all those years ago. Ahkmenrah gasped out in pure agony breaking the ere about them, as the young Pharaoh coughed out and like every Deathday, he choked on his own blood.

It was the worse sound Larry had ever heard in his life, one second the two were exploring their hearts and the next the man he loved was gasping out and choking on his own blood. The sound of the blood stuck in his throat echoed throughout the chamber, both statues of Anubis looked over at their Pharaoh but they knew there was nothing to do but wait till morning.

Larry knelt down closer to Ahkmenrah and held his hand tightly "It's okay, we're almost to morning then this will all be over." comforted the night guard, he held tight to the pharaoh's hand holding it in both of his, he brought the hand to his face and kissed his knuckles gently "I'm here with you, okay? You're not in this alone, I'm right here" soothed Larry as he watched the scene before him.

Ahkmenrah was entirely loss to the pain, he heard Larry's words but there was no way he would respond, he couldn't smile back. His eyes would open and close with each other gasp for air as his lungs filled with blood. His hand squeezed tight to Larry's as it was the only thing he could do as memories of the night returned.

Kamunrah stood before him, knife in hand as he stabbed, slashed, and cut into his body. There was no mercy, no regret, nor sorrow as he stabbed him seventy-three times. Tears filled Ahkmenrah's eyes from the pain of death and from the pain of brotherly betrayal, his tears formed then now as Larry held his hand. He gasped out as tears fell down his cheeks. How desperately he tried to grasp air but every gasp and attempt he made lead only to the drowning in his lungs. The Anubis statues moved retaking their proper form as Ahk gasped out once more then all was still.

The sun had risen and all went back to sleep, Ahkmenrah's eyes had closed slowly as he turned back into a mummy right before Larry's own eyes just reminding him what happens every night as the sun rises. Larry closed up the sarcophagus, leaving the pharaoh to rest till night. The image of Ahkmenrah in such pain etched into his brain, the gasp for air lingered in his ears as he made his way towards the exit of the chamber. Larry looked back behind him at the now resting sarcophagus then left the chamber.

The museum was asleep as though the night before it wasn't full of vibrant and energetic life, soon people would be coming in starting their jobs and opening the museum to the public. The night guard walked throughout the museum making sure everything went well that night, that all were in place and ready in the morning.

Like Teddy said all was taken care of. Larry went to the locker and hung up his coat and flashlight he would be back again tonight, but he felt he couldn't wait. All he could think of was Ahkmenrah, the pharaoh had completely taken over his brain, but he needed to head home try to catch a couple of hours of sleep before his next shift.

The day went by what seemed much slower then the night did, even though he slept for several hours he still found himself waiting and it felt too long of a wait. He couldn't help himself Larry wanted to see Ahk, so he arrived a bit early for his shift.

Since there was still roughly an hour before he would come in Larry found himself wandering the halls and rooms of the museum, he knew them like the back of his hand at this point. He knew who was supposed to be where, just how many steps it took to get to the room over. These exhibits were his friends and seeing them in the morning hours when they were still and asleep he couldn't help but feel lonely.

Too anyone else they were just exhibits of the past, but to Larry they were his family and friends and how he wished he could see them not only at night, but that he could leave the museum and hang out with them, but he knew that wasn't possible.

"Aren't we early tonight" stated Dr. McPhee rolling on the balls of his feet, catching Larry's attention.

"Ya I bit, nothing else to do, thought I'd just look around" responded Larry gesturing towards Sacajawea's exhibit as she stood next to Louis and Clark.

"Don't you just 'look around' all night?" asked McPhee

"Yep" Larry nodded "Yes I do"

McPhee nodded slowly, looked about him at the exhibits then back to Larry. "Well, we're beginning to close up so feel free to get your shift started" he finished before leaving the room, as he himself was ready to go home for the night, the same way Larry felt he was going home for the night.

Larry went back to his locker grabbing his coat and flashlight, but instead of going to the front entrance of the museum he made his way straight to the tomb of Ahkmenrah, walked past the Anubis statues and stood near sarcophagus and there he waited.

It didn't feel like a particularly long wait, for it wasn't long before he heard creaking too his right. He turned his head to look at the owner of the noise and he watched as the Anubis statues woke from their sleep, one even yawning like that of a jackal before both turned their large heads and faced Larry; eyeing him closely. They knew he had been there even in sleep they guarding the pharaoh, they didn't attack the night guard anymore like how they used too, but they still kept an eye on him whenever he was near.

Larry had to admit he was glad that the Anubis were too large to leave the chamber otherwise he knew they would follow Ahk around the entire museum and Larry wouldn't dare getting as close as he tended to with the Pharaoh with the two watching him at all times.

His thoughts were soon interrupted as he heard another creak, one of gold sliding against gold. Larry quickly turned his attention away from the statues and towards the sarcophagus instead, he went to go and help open it up, but within seconds sitting straight up from the resting place was Ahkmenrah in all his glory and beauty. Larry had to admit, Ahkmenrah was possibly the most beautiful man in the world and the world didn't even know that.

Ahk looked over at Larry already knowing or expecting the night guard to be there, Larry didn't know which. Rising from his sarcophagus Ahkmenrah approached Larry just as he did every night not a sign showing what he had been through the previous night.

"If I hadn't seen it myself last night I wouldn't have known just what it was you had gone through" Larry laughed lightly as Ahk approached him with his signature smile Larry was so fond of.

"Thank you" stated Ahk locking eyes with Larry just as they had done last night "I've always had those nights alone, I'm very thankful that you were there. You have no idea what it meant to me" neither broke eye contact, both reading each other. They both shared the fear that perhaps all they imaged last night was false and they didn't truly see each other the way they hoped.

"You should have told me sooner, I would have been by your side in seconds" both hearts were pounding within their chests, hands clammed from nerves as they waited on who would be the first to make a move towards what they both wanted.

"I didn't know if you wanted to be by my side" confessed Ahk

Larry laughed lightly as a broad smile crossed his face "Your side is the only one I want to be by" he confessed.

Ahkmenrah stepped forward much closer now, closer then they had ever been before they were nearly touching. Touching chests, noses, lips...

"And I by yours" stated Ahk as the two gently crossed the distance and kissed lightly, it was sweet and mildly hesitant as both were nervous, but when they pulled back they were both smiling fools. "I've waited for this moment for quite awhile" chuckled Ahk as he cupped a hand on Larry's cheek.

Larry leaned into his hand as their foreheads touched and pressed together, both nearing to kiss once again.

"Gigantor!" Larry closed his eyes lightly then looked down at the origin of the voice, Jed was down below on the ground next to Octavius. "That was the most peck of a kiss I've ever seen!" Larry's cheeks grew flushed, as Ahkmenrah laughed lightly.

"You can do better Larry" encouraged Octavius

"Ya, you can! The Pharaoh deserves better!" shouted out Jed giving Ahk a thumbs up "Here Gigantor like this!" Jed grabbed hold of Octavius giving him a deep and passionate kiss before pulling away and looked back up at Larry "See!?" he shouted up.

"Yes Larry, like that" teased Ahkmenrah with a smile that spread across his whole face.

"Okay I think I get it, I'll do better." responded Larry sarcastically as Ahk grabbed his cheek once more and kissed him, deeper and more passionately then they did the first time and when they pulled apart both were grinning, mildly short of breath.

"Much better" breathed out Ahkmenrah smiling fondly at Larry still cupping his face in his hand.

As I’ve said recently I’ve found myself back into this ship and they will not leave my mind so I had to write this fic, especially after I found the headcanon about everyone reliving their deaths every year. it just came together so well.

[mynameischalie]

Jawbreaker with The Get Up Kids, Worriers, and Comedian Kate Willett 4/22/22 @ The Fillmore Philadelphia

Dear You from Jawbreaker was a staple punk rock record for me in my youth. It was a pretty dark record with some downers of songs but it’s easily my favorite by them as a band. When I heard they were doing an anniversary tour for it I jumped at the opportunity to attend. This was my second time seeing Jawbreaker since they reformed a couple years back. Prior to that I saw Blake’s other project, Forgetters, 2009 in a tiny bar called the Barbary here in Philly. My enthusiastic ass as an early 20 something tried to talk to him after that show and I was given the cold shoulder as the man was entertaining much cooler tattooed women by the merch table. When Jawbreaker reformed I went to see them here at the Electric Factory. That show was just meh as that venue doesn’t have good sound depending on who is working there that night. Luckily they decided to come to the Fillmore which has much better sound.

Starting off the night was comedian Kate Willett. I got to the show super early and was lounging by the bar and instantly noticed a distinct looking women with bangs. I didn’t put it together that this person was the comedian. Kate’s humor fell on two huge topics: sex and politics. Like many comedians you’ll get a routine about their dating life and the many details that ensues. In this case Kate informed us that she dated a sub guy who is into public humilation. I would be low key embarrassed if I was being used as material but in Kate Willett’s ex boyfriend point of view I guess that would REALLY do the trick for him. 

Kate also touched up on poly relationships, her devotation as a feminist, and her bisexuality. Knowing that these were the topics at hand she cannot convice me differently that she doesn’t have a tumblr account. In my opinion, I thought she was charmingly funny. I’m not going to say like big laughs here but you know I appreciated her set. There was a moment halfway through where she talked about her 42 year old friend dating a 22 year old woman and I made the motion of shaking my head. I think she caught that and she said “Right, not that I’m judgmental but I kinda am”. What I didn’t tell you guys was standing in back of me was a man, gray in his beard, gray in his hair, I’ll say 40ish dating a woman that at most might have been 21. She was wearing a wristband.... I’ll just say through my many experiences in punk rock that’s nothing new to see. Kate finished up and left the stage to Worriers.

Seeing Worriers twice in one calender year is something I won’t complain about. I really enjoy this band and while they stuck to pretty much the same set as they did a few months back opening for Brian Fallon I really took a liking to them. They did debut a new song called “Hold Your Breath” so I’m eager for some new material. I do know if they come around again on a headlining show I’m going to see them. They rocked accordingly from 7:30 to 8:00 pm

Big Feelings

WTF is Sleep?

PWR CPLE

Gaslighter

Future Me

Hold Your Breath(New song)

End of the World

No More Bad News

Grand Closing

The Lemonheads dropped which was a good thing. If you saw any of their recent youtube videos of 2022 live they are a complete mess. The Get Up Kids were added last minute and at this point I lost count the number of times I saw them. If I had to say I think this was my 9th time? When you see the Get Up Kids you know what to expect. You’ll get hit with nostgalia and think about all the mixtapes you made for that girl in high school that featured “I’ll Catch You”. The band sounded good and really spread out the setlist touching up on all their records. “Stay Gone” and “Man of Conviction” was a nice change for them. The new-ish songs got no reaction but that’s expected because at this point people just want to hear the records they know and love. I had a great time singing along and they said they’ll be back in the fall on tour. Perhaps a “Four Minute Mile” 25 year anniversary show?

Action & Action

I'm a Loner Dottie, a Rebel

Better This Way

Stay Gone

Fairweather Friends

Man of Conviction

Woodson

The Advocate

Washington Square Park

Satellite

Red Letter Day

Shorty

Holiday

Ten Minutes

Jawbreaker arrived behind this HUGE Jawbreaker banner. Blake, Adam, and Chris sounded great tonight and seemed happy to be back on the east coast. They opened with “Boxcar” which was met with thunderous sing alongs. They stuck to playing mostly everything off Dear You with a a few exceptions being “Condition Oakland”, “Jinx Removing” and “Kiss The Bottle” to finish off the night in the encore. Blake was pretty chatty and shared numerous stories one in particular about him being an emotional wreck crying in his car to John Denver. This was a much better show than the last time they came here in 2019. My only minor complaint was hoping they would play a little longer. I get it that they are in their 50s but I certainly wanted more from them because like I said it was so good.

Boxcar

I Love You So Much It's Killing Us Both

Save Your Generation

Jinx Removing

Chemistry

Fireman

Condition Oakland

Jet Black

Million

Oyster

Bad Scene, Everyone's Fault

Sluttering (May 4th)

Basilica

Encore:

Unlisted Track(Blake solo)

Accident Prone

Kiss the Bottle

[border-spam]

Leech Lord - The thought that counts

Troy

Calypso is a bizarre, very weird man who's concept of a "gift" can be some hot drink Ven brought for him to a late night meeting, the time JK handed him a slightly rusted 1/4 socket wrench they'd spotted on a scrap pile while patrolling the slums and recalled him saying he'd have to ask Sei for the day before, or a photo of a flower Eli saw and sent on an incognito chat line.

What he considers gifts aren't usually that tangible so aren't things he can show to others, but there are some actual gifts he's held onto for far too long and people are fucking sick of being shown.

You ever see a coffee cup that hasn't been washed in eight years??

Well his friends have. Weekly.

Ty had "made it" for him in their first year planet-side, a shitty white .50c mug she'd crudely painted "Best Bro, lol" on in now peeling enamel. He knows it was a joke, but it doesn't change how that stupid gross mug has made him feel when things have been so bad that he's spent nights rolling it gently between a flesh and metal hand, reassuring himself with memories of the good times.

I mean he.. he cleans it, he rinses it out, but if he washed it properly the paint would just come straight off and that ain't happening. He drinks so much coffee. The poor thing gets refilled 4, 5 times a night sometimes, it's VILE looking. Brown and black stains, more rings than a felled steelwood tree running down the inside..

Ven hates it. Sei hates it. Eli smiles and tries not to die when he sees it. JK FUCKING LOVES IT. That mug is more Troy to them then his cruel prosthetic is, that mug is the most Troy thing on his damn ship.

Seifa has "politely" insisted on sealing it for him so he CAN wash it, but she's been told with frightening clarity that she’s not allowed near it. Leave it alone, it's fine.

Ven joke gifted him a pair of cursed-text booty shorts after two years of seeing The Holy Father’s ass crack daily and feeling his soul leave his body every time.

Troy took it as part insult / part challenge and made sure to actually wear them around Ven and make sure the other man was aware.

It went from hitching his pants just low enough in public to show their hem and smirking as they were recognised, to just straight up wearing them instead of his usual baggy harem pants some nights when he knew Ven would be spending a few hours in Sanctum.

Sei was completely in on this and acted nonchalant as her friend would desperately try to look around the room for support as his life-force withered while having to sit next to his boss in cursed hotpants and everyone else treating it like it was completely normal.

That stopped when Sei wasn't around, that kind of bullshit just didn't feel right.

He still has them though. They'll.. make a return one day, and Ven won't be ready.

Seifa

On the gift front, she's got 2 modes

1 - Extremely expensive item of value:

Munny. Nice. Highly appreciates it but won't from a personal level ( unless it's also exceptionally catered to her like very carefully chosen jewelry ). She'll secure it somewhere behind lock and key in her ship, and take it out to fondle on her floor like a goblin if she's feeling down.

Sei won't use any expensive gifts for fear of somehow "wasting" then, a weird after effect of poverty and a knife edge upbringing, but she'll cover herself in platinum and diamonds AT HOME while watching bullshit on the E-Net and drinking wine. Think Jenna Marbles leeeshuring. Only does this in private, it's some odd way of enjoying the things she's been given without fear of somehow devaluing them. She's fuckin weird. She is a weird person, she's just very close to even weirder monster twins and they distract a lot of attention from her strangeness.

2 - Piece of shit someone found in a flea market and thought of her or made for her poorly:

What the fuck. What the fuck. Treasure. Will go all red eyed and mouth wobbly when given it, won't know what the hell to say. Will use / wear / show it off daily. Will proudly point out gifts like this in her ship to visitors, go over who gave it to her, where it's from, what that person means to her, everything.

If it's wearable it will be patched into or worn with her best outfits bar ceremonial garb. She's covered in little mementos of friends and colleagues she takes massive comfort from by having close to her at all times, 'specially as some are too far away to see that often, or aren't around at all anymore.

The pendant Ven surprised her with has found its way into almost every ensemble she wears, it's on next to scrap chains and fool’s gold when she's elbow deep in a Mechanicum's process machine's axle oil, and it's on when she's dripping in platinum and faux giggling at a gala. This is... noticed by Troy, who is silently aware of how the shockingly expensive jewelry he's been gifting her for years remains stashed in lockboxes around her ship while Ven's bit of glass rarely leaves her skin. He finds it harder to ignore the blue-green glint of it far more than he'd want anyone to know.

He sent her a droid, years ago. She picked it up from a holding dock in a grimy but carefully packaged parcel and loved it at first sight. Tiny little hive-drone, smaller than her fist and mashed together from what looked like scrap - ancient LED screen able to just about render a simple smiley face with oversized pixels. A chicken scratch note about how they were doing well, things had been going great and they'd really started to find their footing now. 

Lines about Tyreen being a pain in the ass, how he'd been having fun with this stuff - droids, that she'd been right that he should try messing around with the amount of scrap bots you could find in any junkpile across Pandora. Said he'd made this for her because he remembered her ship had no V.I. network and how half the rec-room was covered in notes she'd end up having to take to keep on top of deals and interesting tips. This little floating ball could link with her E-Dev and convert audio into notes, calender bookings, maybe make her life a bit easier? Cause she had made theirs easier, him and Ty's, hadn't she. He wanted to give her something back. When would she be touching down again anyway? Been nearly a year since they’d left her ship to make a name for themselves.. and he had a lot to show her...

She still uses that little droid daily, chats idly to it as it sits on her office desk in the Mechanicum, blinking crude emojis at her as it happily translates Sei’s cranky mutters into a schedule that makes her life just a bit easier.

JK's silent hand over of something heavy and palm sized wrapped so beautifully in patterned cloth had keyed her in on not opening it till she was alone, but that prescription lens...

Fitted so carefully onto a hinged frame she knew at a glance would socket over her favored welding goggles? The crude but confident metal work, the tiny flicks of coloured paint she recognised and warmed her heart immediately? That asshole.. that beautiful, clever bastard.

Said nothing, knew she didn't need to, but it's been YEARS and she still notices the slight puff to their chest and way they straighten a little taller when they spot it perched over her right eye.

Asks are open!

[luki-fanfic]

Miraculous Ladybug Fic Idea - The Djinn Kwami

I have too much fic already on my plate so this is not turning into an actual fanfic, but given what’s happening in the fandom thanks to early releases, I thought those relying on the ML Distractathon tag might appreciate this as a distraction.

- Some kind of amulet arrives in Paris, which happens to host the Djinn kwami.  Thanks to it’s nature, the Djinn only appears every 100 years, grants 3 wishes, and then is sealed away again.  Chat Noir wonders if the Djinn’s wish could solve their Hawkmoth problem, but Fu tells him that the wishes are always cursed in some way, so it’s vital to grab ‘Genie’ and bring him to Fu before anyone makes a wish.  It could have ramifications that even Hawkmoth doesn’t want.

- Hawkmoth of course, doesn’t care.  When he realises that the Djinn Kwami is active, he’s heading straight for it.  Knowing that he’s facing Ladybug and Chat Noir and possibly the Guardian, he also brings Mayura, and uses an Akuma on Lila as extra muscle.

- However, when Lila learns that they’re hunting a GENIE KWAMI, she double crosses Hawkmoth and grabs it for herself.  Before anyone can stop her, she’s transforming, and making her first wish.  She doesn’t have a lot of time to plan, because Hawkmoth, Mayura and the heroes are all lunging for her, so she thinks fast.  What she wants more than anything is admiration, and Adrian’s attention.  So…

“I wish I was Ladybug!”

- She gets a moment to enjoy the look of absolute horror on Ladybug’s face, before everything goes dark, and she wakes up in her room – wearing a new pair of earrings and a rather sour looking red Kwami asking her what’s wrong.

- She’s suddenly hit with altered memories – her mother came to France several months earlier, and when she was walking to school, there was an incident.

- (Fu was looking for a new ladybug, tried to test Lila, ‘accidentally’ got pushed into traffic, and loses the Ladybug kwami box.  By the time he’s gotten out of hospital, he has no clue where the box is or who has it).

- Lila brushes off Tikki, who goes to sleep, and then she pulls out ‘Genie,’ who explains that he had to rewrite time in order to allow Lila to be in a position to get the earrings.  She’s a little insulted that she could only get them through an ‘accident’ rather than being worthy, but she can live with it.

- She spends a good hour that night just looking through her calender.  ‘Ladybug’ has dozens of media appearances and modelling set up, and she absolutely can’t wait.  

- In fact, she decides to improve everything by adding a second wish.  While she’s doing a good job on her own, she always preferred the easy way out, and wishes that ‘Marinette Dupain-Cheng didn’t have a single friend at Dupont.’  

- The next day, she heads to school with a spring in her step.  While she knows nobody can know she IS Ladybug, she can’t wait to bask in everyone’s admiration, while that little goody-two-shoes enjoys being unloved and unwanted.  However, when she gets to school, while everyone smiles and greets her, they seem rather withdrawn and not all that excited. She’s sitting next to Alya, who greets her fairly apathetically.  When she asks about Marinette, she gets a blank stare.

- New memories hit.  Turns out, Marinette doesn’t go to this school – she’s never gone to school with anyone here.  This means that Chloe never had her favourite target, and went after everyone else.  When Lila arrived, people flocked to her and her connections, but when she could never follow through, people dropped her pretty quickly and treat her like Chloe.

- It gets worse when she asks about the Ladyblog.  She ‘remembers’ that Alya more or less gave it up very early on.  The biggest blog around these days is the ‘Chatcall’ run by someone else entirely.

- Apparently, Lila’s love of the spotlight and general bad nature has soured Ladybug’s popularity.  Chat Noir is by the far the more popular of the two heroes. 

- Her great morning has suddenly become a nightmare, and while she’s seething, she asks Nino when Adrian is going to get here.  He’s still got to be into superheroes, surely.

- Nino however, just stares at her and asks ‘Who?’

---

- Meanwhile, Marinette wakes up in the morning, remembering exactly what happened, and is horrified to find both Tikki and the earrings are missing.  But more strangely, her room is altered.  The walls have photos of people she’s never met on them, along with several of Adrian – but not professional photos, photos of the two of them.  There’s also a lot of random outfits midway through design that she barely remembers.  

- Then, her parents come up to her room, and tell her she’s going to be late to school if she doesn’t hurry.  School in this case, being an extremely exclusive private school she’d only ever dreamed of attending.

Then the memories hit.  Her parents, after Chloe first bullied Marinette, decided to try her at a different primary, and without the constant bullying, she blossomed.  She continually entered competitions regarding craftsmanship, and was eventually invited to apply for a scholarship at the private school.  She continued to excel, befriending the Quantic kids and beginning her own MDC line.

- That’s quite a bit to take in, but it’s nothing compared to when she actually gets to school and finds Adrian waiting for her at the door.  He greets her, calls her his girlfriend, and kisses her on the cheek.

– She immediately passes out.

- When she wakes up, she’s at the nurses office, and remembers – she met Adrian and Gabriel at a fashion shoot.  She didn’t quite have a crush on Adrian at the time, but he was elated to meet another person his age – and she talked to him about her school...and somehow convinces Gabriel that letting Adrian attend such a prestigious school – used to handling high profile famous students – would be perfectly safe. Since they’d allow Adrian’s bodyguard on the grounds, have an almost legendary rep, and he does kind of want to lure Marinette-AKA-MDC over to Agreste and he’s not above using his son to do it, he allows Adrian to apply, thus removing Adrian’s need to use Chloe and go over his father’s head.  As he and Marinette spend a lot of time together, they both fall for each other, and started dating before the whole Hawkmoth/Ladybug battle began.

- She barely makes it through school, and is very conflicted when she gets home. Especially since there’s an Akuma attack that day, and it’s very clear ‘Ladybug’ is nowhere near up to the task.  Chat Noir’s definitely having to pick up a lot more slack that he usually does, but they do still beat him.

- That night, she’s visited by the Djinn kwami, (who waited until Lila was asleep) comes to visit and explain what happened.  The nature of the kwami means he has to grant ‘cursed’ wishes, even when he doesn’t want to.  So to get around that, he tries to find loopholes – in cases where a wish will cause someone who doesn’t deserve it misfortune, he tries to counter it by improving their life.  Lila wanted to be Ladybug, but there was almost no reality in which that could happen as long as Marinette went to Dupont...so he fixed things so that Marinette never did. This happens to be the ‘best’ future Marinette could possibly have in which she didn’t attend.

- Marinette is genuinely surprised he’d go to this much trouble.  He surely didn’t have to give her the best life possible, but Genie admits there’s a more malicious additional reason.  Lila wanted Ladybug to hurt.  She wanted Ladybug to remember what she’d lost.  However, Ladybug might then try to undo the wish, and it’s the Djinn’s duty to fulfil his master’s wishes – so he had to make sure Ladybug wouldn’t WANT to undo the wish.  

- And so, Marinette finds herself torn.  On the one hand, she has an amazing life, with fantastically loyal friends and Adrian at her side.  On the other, she no longer has Tikki, and Lila is struggling as Ladybug.  Does she try and steal Tikki back and risk Lila using the third wish?  Or does she try and steal the Djinn’s token and reset the world back to what it was?  

- Meanwhile, Lila tries to figure out what the perfect third wish would be given how badly things have gone so far.

- (Oh, and Adrian is still Chat Noir.  While he was being driven to school, he spotted Fu struggling on the pavement after one of the other Dupont students ‘failed’ to help him, and stopped the car to aid the older man. He was late for school making sure Fu got to his destination, and Fu decreed him worthy.  Of course, he’s already head over heels for Marinette, and really can’t stand Ladybug.  Chatcall is run by Felix).

[staylovehearts]

A Tree in a Forest

Lee Minho x Reader

Word Count ~ 3.7 k

Summary: Sometimes you can’t see the tree from the woods. 

Tags: childhood friends, friends to lovers, slight angst, but also really cheesy, weird tree metaphors but I promise it’s romantic, or at least I hope it is

"Let go of me, the people are starting to look."

With a pout, you let go of Minho's elbow that you have been holding onto. Actually, you had meant to hook arms, walk arm in arm like an old couple. Or close friends who are goofing around together. But Minho keeps his arm pressed tightly to his side and you have done your best to wriggle at least three fingers in between. But now he's looking at you with this kind of irritated glance. He's even stopped walking. The only thing that's missing is for him to place his other hand on his hip and use his height to tower over you to make you feel like you are a kid being scolded.

"Since when do you care about people looking at you? You love attention. Besides, you always get super clingy with your friends, why do you never let me be close to you?" You cross your arms in front of your chest while speaking. Half because you are not sure what to do with your hand now that you had to remove your fingers from Minho's elbow. You really don't understand why he is always making such a fuss about it. There is nothing wrong with friends holding hands or hooking arms or any of that. Everyone is doing it. And Minho and you have been friends for quite a while now. Actually, you basically grew up together. He lives down the street, when you were younger you used to sit in the sandbox of the playground around the corner, defending the castles you built together from all the other kids trying to get a chance of playing there as well until your parents pulled you out and scolded you. But the next day you'd do it again. You two have been in cahoots for all of your youth. Exploring the forests and fields around town, building secret hideouts in the woods and coming home with scrapped knees. You went to school together. Have even been in the same classes for most of it. Minho and you have always been close. And he used to not mind being touchy-feely with you. But somehow things have changed sometime during high school. Before that, you always used to walk to and from school together. Him waiting up in the morning, standing on your porch and greeting your mother before joking about how you are always making him late. He stopped. Had to go earlier because of clubs and stuff. He also stopped walking home with you. Meeting with friends or staying later for dance practice. It's fine. You do have other friends as well. It's just how things go. But still... something about the distance he's been putting up makes you upset. And the harder he tries to slip away, the more you want to get close to him again.

"It's different when they do it. They are not annoying and clingy like you. Besides, you can't even compare that. With you it's a whole different story", Minho finally answers your question. It feels like you have been staring each other down in the middle of this crowded shopping mall for at least half a minute.

"Different how?", you ask. "How am I different?"

Minho rolls his eyes at you, as if you are stupid for even asking such a question, but he's also not really providing you with an answer. In fact, he seems to be stalling for time. The stance of his body shifts. The angry posture had given him a confident, overpowering look, but now he's unsure. You can read him pretty well most of the time, so it's easy for you to tell that he'd rather not start arguing with you right now.

"You're just... you", he finally mutters. It's so vague that it could mean anything and nothing.

"What's that even supposed to mean?", you demand, but Minho is running away from the question. Literally. He has started walking again before you could even get into complaining properly. You try your best to catch up with him again, for a moment you consider reaching for his arm again. Just to tease him. But then you stop yourself halfway there and just settle for walking next to him.

"Well, either way, let's go eat something. I'm starving"

                                                                ~

"Hey darling, you back already? I thought you were out with Minho?", your mother greets when you walk inside. She's standing in the kitchen, messing around in maybe three different pots and pans at the same time. The air is warm and filled with the smell of different spices and other ingredients.

"He had... a thing later. I think. He didn't really give me the specifics, just told me that he had to leave early. So I'm home already."

Your mother turns around to look at you over her shoulder, not even putting down her spatula or stepping away from the stove. But she gives you this kind of concerned mother look.

"That's odd", she just says, before completely turning back around to stir some vegetables in a pan. Something about the way she says it gives you a feeling that she is implying more than she is saying. But you're mother has always been like that. Giving you that know it all mothery attitude and yet refusing to really talk wisdom until you finally give in and come to her to ask what she means by that. But you're not really in the mood for talking right now.

"Do you want me to set the table?", you ask instead. Without even turning around your mother replies: "Yes, please. You're lucky I made a little extra. I wanted to leave it on the stovetop so you could eat it later when you get here. But now that you're here already you might as well eat with the family."

"Yeah, I'll get right to it."

And that's that. But you have a feeling this conversation is only postponed.

                                                               ~

to Dumbass Catboy: sooooo what do you wanna do for movie night this weekend? i'll take care of snax if you bring the dvd, or do you wanna do netflix?? [sent: 17:35; seen 5 minutes ago]

You stare at your phone in anticipation. Movie night is a staple for you and Minho. When you were younger you used to do when every weekend. But as school progressed and homework started piling up you started reducing the frequency. Every second week and then once a month. But it's a date circled in your calender. Marked with a bright red pen. And you make sure to send him reminders about it at least a week in advance. Minho and you have never skipped a movie night. Not even that one time you came down with a really bad stomach bug. You did switch to watching the movie together over a skype conversation though. Because your mother told you not to leave the house. Not that you had felt like that. You still clearly remember how you paused the movie in the middle of a scene, stood up straight and declared "I'm going to puke my guts out" before rushing out of your room and into the bathroom. You remember Minho laughing and teasing and calling your gross when you stumbled back into your room, face pale but cheeks glowing red, hair messy and sweaty bangs sticking to your forehead. But you continued watching the movie once you had settled yourself back into bed. Movie night has never been skipped.

[Dumbass Catboy is typing]

The three dots move, stop, disappear, show up again. Then, finally, after what seems like hours of waiting – well, just about one hour actually – there is finally an answer. But you sure don't like what you are seeing.

Dumbass Catboy: sry, can't make it, got other plans [sent: 18:27]

He's ditching your movie night? Not even telling you what for? No excuse. Just other plans? What other plans could be more important than watching movies with your bestie? It's a tradition. A ritual. You've been doing movie nights for years. And he's just ditching you? Not even an excuse. You throw your phone across the room, not even bothering with a reply. This is stupid. Outrageous. This is... actually so hurtful.

What happened?

Do people just drift apart like that? Is that just how it goes? Friends come and go and life goes on. But if that's just how it goes then why does it hurt so much? Is it normal that it stings so much, that it makes your chest feel so tight that you almost can't breathe anymore? Hands shaking, all of you shaking, shivering, struggling for air, choking out sobs, tears stinging in your eyes?

Why does it hurt so much?

Just then you hear a gentle knock on your door. You try to quickly clean the tears that have by now welled over and dripped from your chin onto the mattress away with your sleeve. Won't fix the puffy eyes, but the light is dimmed, so maybe it's alright.

"Come in", you croak. Voice hoarse and strangled. Damn. The door opens slowly and your mother comes inside, carrying a basket of freshly washed and folded laundry that she puts down. Usually, she'd leave right after that, but this time she stops in the doorframe to look at you. You try your hardest to avoid her gaze.

"Are you alright?", she asks and that's really all it takes for you to break down completely.

"I think Minho hates me now", you choke out between strangled sobs.

"Oh, darling", your mother hurries over to sit down next to you without hesitation. Gently she places a hand on your shoulder and you curl yourself into her side like you used to do as a child, hiding from strangers at family gatherings and the such. She gently pets your hair while she waits for your sobbing and shaking to calm down again before she begins her interrogation.

"Did you two have a fight?", she finally asks, after you have wiped your face with your sleeves a couple of times and sat up straight again. You shake your head because you still don't trust your voice to be stable, But your mother waits patiently for you to explain more. So you finally give in.

"He cancelled movie night. Didn't even give me a reason. He just said that he has other plans. And he's been so weird and distant lately. Like he doesn't want to spend time anymore and when we're out together he always makes me walk like an arm's length away from him. And when I ask him about it he's so weird. He won't even explain himself. I just don't understand why he's being like this now? I thought we were friends. But it's all changing now and I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose him. I l-", you interrupt yourself there, but the knowing glance your mother is giving you is telling you that she was just waiting for that emotional outburst. I love him so much is what you meant to say. You didn't even realise you meant it until now.

"You know, boys can be really stupid sometimes. I'm sure he doesn't hate you. Maybe he just needs space to figure something out. I know you two have always been close, but things change when you get older. That's just how it is. You can't stay in your little sandcastle forever."

"But what if I don't want things to change?"

"Oh, darling, no one wants for things to change. But the world just keeps turning, and either you learn to deal with change or you get left behind. It's cruel, but life can be like that sometimes."

                                                               ~

"Hey, sorry about last weekend, I was... busy."

You recognise the voice from behind without turning to look. You don't. You allow him to catch up to you but you don't slow down.

"It's okay", you say. Snappy. Short words. Fired like bullets out of your mouth. You don't turn, but you notice him flinch a little out of the corner of your eye. Minho's lips have always formed into a sort of natural pout, but it becomes even more prominent when he is actually upset about something. Such full lips. So soft, so plush.

"Maybe we could make up for it?", he offers. He's walking fast to keep up with you. Maybe you did add a little more speed to your step. You're basically powerwalking down the street. What is he even doing here? Did he have to be out just now when you wanted to go to the store?

"Maybe", you say. And with that, you're basically done with the conversation. But Minho doesn't seem to be willing to let you go so easily.

"Are you also going to the store? Want me to help you carry that?" He points to the bag around your wrist. Your mother gave it to you even though you insisted you'd be able to carry the few things she wanted without any help.

"It's empty. I think I can handle that myself", you explain. Still not even bothering to look at your friend. Can you even call him that right now? Friend feels like such a loaded word. Maybe he stopped being your friend when he started moving into crush territory. You wonder what territory you are in from his perspective right now? Maybe you're nothing. And being nothing only really hurts when you used to be something.

"Don't you wanna try grabbing me today?", he asks, still not able or willing to read the mood.

"Thought you didn't want me to."

"Yeah, but since when has me telling you what to do ever stopped you from getting your will either way, remember when we-"

"Hey, I'm sorry, but I got this kinda important errand to run", you cut him off in the middle of a sentence. You're not in the mood for childhood memories and sharing stories that you have told each other a dozen times already.

"Sure, maybe we can talk..."

You're out of reach before he can get that later out.

                                                               ~

Dumbass Catboy: hey [sent: 22:34]

Dumbass Catboy: i was wondering if we could talk [sent: 22:35]

Dumbass Catboy: look, I know I kinda fucked up and I'm really sorry [sent: 22:36]

Dumbass Catboy: please, I know you are getting these, can you just talk to me please? [sent: 22:47]

You look at your phone, not quite sure what to do. You thought getting some distance yourself would make it easier to deal with your newly realised feelings. But it seems that now, that you have slipped away to finally grant Minho the space he has been demanding he doesn't want it anymore. Suddenly he wants to be close. Texting you, asking to hang out, showing up out of nowhere when you are walking down the street to come up and talk to you. Yesterday he tried to wrap an arm around your shoulder and you just bolted. It hurts. Wanting but not being wanted. Then trying to get the distance. Suddenly being wanted again. But if you cave in now, will he turn cold again?

to Dumbass Catboy: talk then [sent: 22:50; seen just now]

Okay, maybe you're being a little bit unreasonable. A little bit bitchy. But this is basically your first real heartbreak. He's your first real love. It makes sense to be upset, right?

Dumbass Catboi: I thought we could maybe talk in person? [sent: 22:52]

Dumbass Catboi: meet me at our secret place in ten? If that's alright [sent: 22:53]

You glance at the clock on your nightstand. As if the glowing red numbers would give you another time than that displayed on the phone in your hand. It's almost 11 pm.

You grab a coat and head out.

Minho is standing leaned against the trunk of an old oak, the light of his phone making his phone glow a ghastly pale white in the dark of the forest. He raises his head when he hears you step on a twig that snaps under your boots. The light draws weird shadows on his face and for maybe the first time in ages you are unable to tell what he is thinking. His face seems contorted by the light hitting it and you can't read him at all.

You stop roughly an arm's length away from him and wait for him to greet you. Or start explaining why he called you out here in the middle of the night. For him to say anything.

"You know isn't it weird that we are able to find this place so easily even though it's just some random spot in a forest that we made out to be our place ages ago? Like, there is nothing actually special about this tree, we just made it out to be special", Minho finally says after a moment of silence. It's not really what you expected. Well, not that you really expected anything out of this conversation. But you sure didn't think he would go on a rant about trees. But it suits him, talking some weird nonsense instead of getting to the point.

"So you called me out here in the middle of the night to talk about trees?"

"Yes, but also not really", Minho answers. "See, what I'm trying to get at is that you are like that tree. When you look around in a forest there are so many trees everywhere, you could hardly make out a single one. And they all kind of look the same. But once you stop and pick a single tree to be that special tree to you, it begins to stick out. And you start noticing all the weird little details. Like how the moss grows in weird shapes on it and how it leans a little bit to the side. And suddenly that one tree is just not some random tree in a forest. And you don't really notice it at first. It seems to be just that tree that you have picked out as a meeting spot. But when you stop to think about it, you realise that that tree has always been there. This tree saw us grow up. We climbed it when we were kids, we had picnics here and we talked for hours every night in summer. Even though it just looks like one of many trees, this tree is special to me. You are special to me."

Minho's little rant leaves you lost for words and you need a moment to comprehend that between all the talk about trees he just made something like a confession. But still, it's too unclear. To vague to actually tell what he is trying to say. He has put his phone away before he started talking. Now the weird shadows are replaced with pale moonlight painting his features soft, Making his sharp and angular jaw look almost smooth, yet the skin is shining like polished marble. And his lips, oh god his lips, have they always been this tempting?

"That's a really weird metaphor", you finally manage to whisper. There is no reason to lower your voice, but you can't get yourself to speak up. You feel like you are trapped in a giant bubble and once you move to fast or speak too loud it'll burst and this whole little moment of perfect honesty will be gone.

"I guess it is. But you know that saying? Not seeing the wood from the trees or something like that. I think this is like the opposite way around. I haven't been able to see that one tree that is special to me because of all the other ones around it. You know, hide a tree, use a forest. Is that a thing that people say? Ugh, sorry, I'm rambling." Minho reaches out. Hand on your shoulder. Pulls you closer. And arm's length is still just enough distance to reach out and touch someone if you want to. "Look, what I'm trying to say is that I really like you. I've liked you for a long time. And I've been scared of these feelings. So I thought if I just push you away I'd be able to move on. But then, when I really felt like I lost you, I couldn't take it. So I decided that it's better to lose you with at least trying to tell you how I feel than letting you go and never telling you. And now here I am. I like you. I really do. And I want to be with you. And I'm sorry that I have been such an idiot about it."

"You really have been an idiot", you mumble. You're standing closer to him now. Toes almost touching, his hand on your shoulder, yours uselessly hanging down next to your body. You reach out, wrap them around his neck, close the remaining bit of distance. Inhale. Everything about his body is so familiar. And yet it isn't. He smells the same, feels the same. But the bit of height difference hits different now. The way his heart is beating rapidly in his chest. This is new. These feelings are new and yet they are old. This tree is special and still, it is one of many. One that you picked. One that you made special. Because you saw it and you didn't let it go. Just like that little boy down the street who you first met when he was trying to pet a stray cat and you laughed when he started crying after it scratched him. But when he turned to look at you with tears in his big brown eyes, you rushed over to comfort him. And you never let him go again. Because he's special. To you he's special.

"I like you too", you finally return the confession. It feels like it took you both forever to get here. Then again, there is still so much time left. So many days to spend together, so many movie nights to be had. So much to do, it feels like no amount of time will ever be enough. Then again, maybe this moment alone is enough already. For now. And for Forever.

[someone-always-cares]

[image description: a q&a for the webcomic someone always cares. full desc under the cut because its long and wordy sorry]

post chapter 3 Q&A

first - previous - next

thanks for yalls questions!! it was fun to answer! if anyone still has questions feel free to ask whenever i am always 100% down to ramble. even if i did go slightly off topic in some answers

additional: went off topic with the hair question a bit. their bright hair is all part of the transformations. regular hair dye does exist though. best way to tell is that if the eyebrow matches the hair its probably not dyed. also, quartz’s hair is naturally ginger.

also for more on ages, check out the character bios here

also was gonna keep this in the tags but thought i might as well actually try to answer it: the question i found it hardest to answer was someone the song one. my taste in music is. a mess really. ive been listening to like the same 5 songs on repeat all day. more under the cut because i was rambling again and now its uhhh half 1am

if it helps at the time of answering that specific question i had home by cavetown on repeat, and that song reminds me of both rami and lewis. but that may be because i project onto those two a lot, and as a aro trans dude. who sucks with people skills, yeah of course i love that song.

specifically the vibes of like not knowing how to communicate (rami is fine with his friends but other people are different), the lines “ Turn off your porcelain face, I can't really think right now and this place, Has too many colors, enough to drive all of us insane” idk what the porcelain face line is supposed to mean but im picturing it as like. a mask. that you need to take off and stop hiding and rami does tend to hide when hes feeling upset, and the next two lines kinda could tie into that, like the feeling of when youre overwhelemed and just want the world to stop so you just hide somewhere. also the colours could go with chapter 3 with the chromatic abberation.

also the bit with “ my eyes went dark, I don't know where, my pupils are, But I'll figure out a way to get us out of here” just kinda sums up ramis whole hero thing with his powers and all. anyway this has turned into less what songs rami would like and why this particular song reminds me of him and lewis (lewis specifically has the hair cutting/chest hiding, [big transmasc mood], and also messy haired trainwreck who doesnt know who he is yet. also the ghosts bit)

i did end up picking upbeat songs because ramis a dude who like to try and be upbeat even if things arent. even if hes not really feeling it he will pretend to.

[full description: Anonymous said to someone-always-cares: “hi ily!!! do characters like quartz who have colored hair have that naturally or did they dye it?”

“its both natural and not! while most supers can do a magical girl ish transformation, including a change in hair colour, there are some exceptions.”

theres two small full body drawings of rami, one in civilian clothes, one fully transformed.

“if a superhero were to have a biological child, the child will inherit the powers of the parent(s). however, the child will not inherit the full transfromation. they do inherit any physical transformations, but not the outfit.”

theres a drawing of a woman in blue, quartz’s mother, fully transformed, holding her mask in her hand, smiling down at a much younger quartz as a child. hes smiling back up at her with the same blue eyes, pointy ears, and blue hair, but hes still in normal clothes.

“in the case of quartz, both of hisparents had superpowers, and he inherited those powers and the physical transformations.he can also pick and mix whatphysical traits to change.“

next is a headshot of adult quartz, his face split down the middle with one side having hair and eye like his mother, the other like his father. theres a list of traits from each parents, blue hair and eyes and pointy ears from his mum, and purple hair and eyes and pointy teeth from their dad.

 “Anonymous said to someone-always-cares:  Are all the characters the same age? If not, how old are they? Are they irl friends or just superhero friends?”

theres some headshots of rami and his team lined up with ages labelled: cam is 15, rami himself is 17, lin, mateo, and dante, are all 18, and cap is 20.

“rami and xandra were somewhat friends before she got superpowers, so when, after the incident with her old team, she found rami had developed powers, xandra stuck close to him. their other teamates started off as superhero friends but soon turned into irl friends too”

theres a headshot of lewis and jade. theyre both 17

“when lewis first decided to start being a vigilante,jade quickly found him and decided to help train himand offered to be a mentor of sorts, as they both have similar powers. that quickly derailed.”

“ cinder5555 said to someone-always-cares: How long does it usually take to make a comic page? I'm curious because they're so freaking good that they must take FOREVER”

theres a drawing of myself, a fluffy hair tired bastard in a hoodie, smiling

“Thanks! Ive been doing this shit since like 2017 and i still have no idea how long it takes me. i can get a page done in a day if i have nothing else to do or if its a simple page, but if i have work then maybe 2-3 days? i spend like, most of my free time doing this.“

another drawing of me, now looking frustrated muttering “how the FUCK does time work”

“but i can never do it all on one sitting.i will inevitably get distracted and zone out daydreaming mid drawing so its very hard to get an accurate read on how long it takes. so however long a piece of string is i guess“

the only qustion not from tumblr is a discord message from RuneStone Cabin:

“Q: Can you talk about the incidence of superpowers in this world? Like many people are supers, which powers are more or less common, how long they've been a thing for, stuff like that. Also does Omen know I'd die for them “

theres a drawing of omen pointing at a date circled on a calender marked “decembuary”, theyre saying “i know. i already wrote your death in my calender.”

then a giant wall of text reading: “Supers have only existed for a relativly short time, since the early 1940s. momento mori was the second person to have ever gained powers.

Only a small number of the population are supers! the chances are higher in more populated cities, but unusally london has oneof the higher percentages of supers. while nobody in universe has any idea of the origins of superpowers, it does seem that powers are more likely to occur in people who would actually use their powers.

as for what powers are most common, after making a badly catagorized spreadsheet of every superpowered character ive made for this world (70% of which will probably never even be seen), turns out that elemental powers are the most common. although not all elemental powers manifest as the straight up 'controling this element' as seen in characters like lin or tsunami. for example, iris's powers would fall under shadow elemntal powers, but theyre a lot more weird that just controlling shadows.there are some abilities that have never been seen before,such as ressurection or full on time travel (aka anything that could bring a character back to life), but powers are certainly allowed to toe the line eg healing, powers involving undeath, immortality, pausing or manipulating time.

aside from that, anything goes. you could get plain old superstrength, but you could also get the ability to create dogs with your mind. other not quite rules, more guidelines are that supers are immune to their own powers hurting them (unless they were pushing themselves too hard), although the way the imminuties occur may be inconvinient to the super.

while some powers may be 'more powerful' than others, powers dont really get to be way underpowered or overpowered in comparision to others. sure being able to talk to animals may feel a bit useless compared to someone who can lift 4 tanks at once, but nobodys going to end up with a power like 'can turn into a goose but only once' or 'can grow toenails twice as fast' or 'if i sneeze i can change my hair colour'. at the same time, youre not going to get someone with the power to snap their fingers and level a city, or instantly blow up the moon or whatever.

“Anonymous said to someone-always-cares: I love rami PLEASE tell me his favorite song(s) and why. I will die for you”

a drawing of rami saying out loud “i dont really have any specific favourite song, really? i just listen to whatever sounds catchy and then listen to that on repeat for hours until i hate it. i guess i do like upbeat songs? ones that make you feel happy even if the lyrics are sad”

“ un1c0rnhh said to someone-always-cares: tell me,,, please,, cam,,, are they a cat person or a dog person?? ily"

theres a drawing of cam a metre away from a cat lying down. she has her arm out and is making ‘psspsspss’ noises at it. end id]

FUCK i am so glad i didnt hand write all of that, it would have been a major pain in the ass to write it all and then have to transcribe all that next. but nope i could directly copy paste the asks and word answers. cheers if anyone made it this far down. if anyone wonders why this is uploaded late, you know now.

[lockdownuk]

Lockdown Diary Part 2

A personal account during the lockdown in the UK due to the Covid-19 outbreak.

23/03/2020 8:30pm Boris Johnson, UK Prime Minister, gives a live address to the nation to, effectively, put the country on lockdown to stem the spread of the deadly coronavirus strain, Covid-19.

Many of us have been self-isolating for days but this latest development within the UK in reaction to the pandemic feels very serious and very scary. I decided to keep a simple diary and where better but online.

Day 31: I went to Tesco’s at Hampton at @8pm. It was weird. But I made it less weird by buying (amongst all the legit stuff I needed and some stuff for Karen’s mum) more booze. I have, atm about 30 assorted cans and 60 assorted bottles. I’m gonna stop buying booze now until I’m down to the last dozen. I don’t want owt to happen and I leave many behind!

Day 32: More than a calender month! I was rung up by a recruitment agent today about a contract with DHL as a remote support engineer to their aviation section. €400 a day! I’ve applied. Few beers tonight, watching a new Netflix release (Extraction) and catching up with Fog, Ham, Andy and Rog later at 10:30pm - yikes, might be pissed.

Day 33: Typing this on day 34. Dossed around during the day, few beers and another video call with fog, Ham and Rig plus I invited John Monk along. He was his usual self and signed off from the call with a moonie! Later on I had the pleasure of Scottish Louise video calling me! She was pissed, in her shed drinking den at her home with some neighbour called Ronnie and her daughter Ellie. She was her usual outrageous self who imaprted such gems as “Tim, you look old” and “Roger on coke is the only time I’ve taken it up the arse”. Nice.

Day 34: Today I skyped Laurie and ‘met’ Matthew and Nicholas for the first time. It was bloody fantatsic. Janine was there as well.I cannot believe it takes lockdown (plus an idea to get Laurie to add me to his regular Monday skype chat with Dad) that managed to get us doing something that should have happened years ago! It was so great to talk to them all face-to-face. Janine hasn’t changed a bit, Matthew is very quiet with Nicholas being the more gregorious twin. And Laurie is still Laurie. I’m reminded of how much I sort of miss him! It was all so comfortable. I loved it! Tomorrow is Dad’s 85th hence the 3-way chat idea. I hope it comes off!

Day 35: So dad and Laurie and I skyped. It was OK but my video feed was very dark, (still dunno why) and Lauire’s kept freezing. I dropped out so as to leave them to it, my thinking being the extra person takes up bandwidth, with the promise I’d call dad later. Before I could, Rita called me and suggested Dad and I skype, which we did. So, all in all, a good day of comms! And Dad seems his happy usual self - 85 years old! Amazing.

Day 36: I am really struggling to motivate myself this week. Today, I’ve done fuck all of note. That is all.

Day 37: A similar day to yesterday. All I have really managed to do is lay down audio from Pink Floyd (Absolutely Curtains) to a video I shot of a cow on yesterday’s walk. I am having a downer of a week without any good reason why, ld aside. I have worn my new walking boots today (’cos my old ones are leaking, I found out yesterday) and they fucking hurt, despite having tried to wear them in for months, albeit pathetically. Also, a few days ago (Friday 24th April), I got notification from HM Revenue & Customs that I’m getting tax rebate (from 2018-19) of £392. Yay!

Day 38: I received notification today that I’ve got a speeding ticket…last Thursday back from Tesco’s - 87mph somewhere between the A1 and Elton. I am hoping it’s a fixed penalty. I dunno whether it is yet, I just have to send the form off confirming it’s my car and I was driving. I spoke with Lynda from Woodfords asking her to ask for a rent reduction before I sign for another year. Plus, I let her know that I will be Howard and Sue’s eyes as the look at rental properties in Oundle - I do hope they return although it would be a shame for them that their plans have been scuppered (she’s lost her job in Oz due to Covid-19)

Day 39: Today I started another piece of exercise - up and down the stairs 26 times. Not sure why 26 - it was some thing online to do with the London Marathon, I think. It fucking killed. I used 13 clothes pegs for a counting system. I asked Karen to pick up some stuff when she was shopping (burgers, radishes) - Dan dropped them off, He was with Shaggy (driving his van) and going to see Jonah. That pisses me off - they should be social distancing, ffs.

Discoevered, today, that Cornershop, post-Brinful are fucking excellent. listening to the album ‘England is a Garden’ as I type.

Day 40: That 26 times up and down the stairs is fucking hard. I did videos about it today. My legs are aching like fuck right now.

Day 41: Just done Young Sam’s (Sam Clews) quiz. 3rd week running and it’s now become a habit and something I look forward to. Out of all the internet driven socialising I’m undertaking in ld, this is the weirdest - I feel totally detatched from all others taking part but, now, would feel pissed off if I didn’t or couldn’t join in. I got 47/70 this week. My best score and only about 8 off the winning score  -  most others aren’t doing it on their own!

Today’s walk was a cloudy one - I captured some fine, dramatic pics of the clouds. I am getting into this photography lark, albeit very amateurish. But, when I post any pics online (mostly FB), they seem to be widely appreciated, which is nice.

Day 42: Applied for a remote service delivery job with a firm called TTEC. £60k. Finished watching The Outsider. The creepiest TV show I have seen in years. Really great use of background music.

Day 43: Finished Mindhunter S2 last night. It’s so good but I cannot quite put my finger on why. Today has been a nothing day apart from day 2 of me not typing the letter ‘e’ in any post or comments on FB for a week. It’s hard.

Day 44: Watch Anna last night. A Luc Besson film that starts a kick-ass suprermodel. It’s right down my street. Today I have been lazy af. I need to pick up my online learning again…tomorrow, maybe! I watched Andy Murray Resurfacing. A documentary on Amazon. Fantastic. What a top man he is. Completely human and completely inhuman!

Day 45: Much talk in the news of possible lockdown relaxation. I am off the opinion we should stay the course until we are completely assured of beathing this thing i.e. a working, widely available vaccine. Dad and I Skyped - he is doing well, as usual. So is Rita. They both seem very happy in lockdown! Today has been a glorious day, weather wise. I had my walkk at 10ish this morming and it was very warm. Hottest day of the year so far I reckon.

Day 46: Bank holiday Friday (75th anniversary of VE day). Nice walk. Chat with Karen letting her know about being caught speeding just in case I am banned and need some out of town shopping. Watched second episode of DEVS by Alex Garland. It’s good and intriguing. Now, @7pm, gonna eat and hit the beers and smokes.

Day 47: Typing this at 15:45 on day 48. I had lots of beers and a good old chat with Rog…

Day 48: Today’s daily press conference was eagerly anticipated today with rumours of a relaxation in lockdown. It seems it was a fuss about nothing with no clear instructions - I didn’t watch it but, skimming the BBC news site, I shan’t be doing anything different over the next few weeks, not that I would anyway - furlough and self isolation are the order of the day and I won’t change that until I am sure it’s safe. Meanwhile people, including Danny flaunt the rules, it’s been pointed out to me plus I know he spends time with Jonah and Marc. It really fucks me off. So, the actions of the few mean I will lock myself down for as long, if not longer, as it takes. Attended Sam Clews quiz again. It passes the time. Also, I had half a scotch bonnet chilli with tea tonight (roasted veg, cous cous and sausages). Ridiculously hot!

Day 49: Received the speaker I ordered a few days ago (from eBay). It’s an AudioPro Addon T10. I got it for a very reasonable price from a German shop. As a result, the power lead isn;t three pin and that has seriously fucked me right off!

Meanwhile, I did my 26 stair climb before my daily walk today. It was easier than usual (surprise surprise) and I did 7km - but that was tough! ‘Cos I am on (yet another) free trial of Amazon Prime, I am ramping up watching stuff available. Last night I watched Booksmart - really nice little film with a great soundtrack. I am listening to Dan the Automater as I type. Today I watched half (3 eps) of The Night Manager and the film ‘The Founder’. The former is a superb series, the latter an OK film about Ray Kroc - the supposed founder of McDonald’s. Except he wasn’t; he was the wrong side of ambitious and a cunt.

Day 50: Stripped the 2 pin cable from the speaker I received yesterday and wired up a 3 pin plug and it worked. Win. And it sounds great. Win-win. Went to go shopping in Hampton but the car wouldn’t start. Loss. But it was the battery so I managed to borrow Karen’s jump starter which worked. Win.

Spent £107. Loss. But just under £40 was booze plus £10 for two big pizzas, two sides (dirty fries) and some dips. Win. Didn’t do any online learning - seriously fucking letting myself down. Loss.

Did my usual walking and 26 stair climb. The latter is hard but defo getting easier. Win. Day 51: Sam’s 51st birthday on day 51 - coincidence! Today I received my face mask from Lou - House of Stewart tartan. I’m pleased with it and that I have got a mask now. I managed to get up at a reasonable hour, just left 09:00, and revisit my web design course. Module 1, lesson 5 and I am fucking stuck. Trying to code an online CV with a side nav bar and I cannot get it to fucking work. Grrrrrr. Later, i got into a FB dispute (easily distracted due to the above) with someone over his statement of fact (Tim Martin’s treatment of Whetherspoons’ employees) when he doesn’t know it’s fact. It probably is, but that is not the fucking point.  I wish I could leave these sort of spats alone. I am drinking, at 20:45, peppermint tea as I type. Jeez, what’s happened to me?

Day 52: Well, last night took a swift chnage. Rog message me and, to cut a long story short, I hit the beers, also called Foggy later, got trashed. I got up today at gone 1pm. Sam posted on fb that Paul had forgort her birthday yesterday. Oh dear! The 26 stair climb and walking each day is noticeable for how knackered my legs feel all the time, I noticed today!

Day 53: My birthday! Nice comments and banter of FB. Rachael brought round a bottle of whisky; gobsmacked. Karen popped round some beers and sausage rolls. Sam sent a card, as did dad with a £50 cheque. Dan’s ordering me a pizza later.

Chuffed! Day 54: I went to bed late after a lot of beers, huge pizza and chips, a few smokes and a long call with WWJ and video chats with Fog then Rog. Got up around 1pm and dossed with my usual exercises and I made fish pie with a scotch bonnet. Day 55: Late one last night but up early today (11ish). Really fretting about hospital tomorrow. Nervous anyway but the safety aspect, in terms of Covid-19, isn’t helping.

Day 56: Hospital appointment was just for an eye scan so the consultant can review it. I was very surprised to see how few people were wearing face masks! I did two lots of washing today. (After the hospital) I went to Morrsions, Asda (queue too long though), B&M (queue too long though) then Tesco’s. All to buy a baseball cap ‘cos I’m fucked if I’m going to wet my hair each time I go out and want it to look presentable! In Morrsions (no mens’ clothing apart from underwear!) I stocked up of 10 cans of sugarfree apple Caraboa….I was only thinking of this drink just the other day. Yesterday I finished The Night Manager on Amazon. I liked it a lot but, also, expected much, much more from it consdiering the hype. Hugh Laurie has come a long way from comedy sketches with Stephen Fry!

Day 57:Received an email from Sueanne yesterday asking ( as designated spokesperson for everyone) how I am. The most interestring piece of news in a rather uninformative email was that the US has started to open resorts!

Day 58: I am writing this on Day 59. I started a two walk a day regime. The first walk I do is shorter, around 4km. my aim is to be ready for 1,000,000 steps Diabetic UK challenge (throughout July, August and September). I need to do just under 11,000 steps a day. The relaxation in ld rules makes this achievable. On that score, I am allowed to visit a friend’s house, as long as it’s just the two of us, outside, 2m apart. I went round Karen’s last night. I was desperate to have a Happy Hour (I allow myself a midweek beer - today (well, yesterday) is/was Wednesday!) of sorts with another human (rather than a video chat). I was there for about 2 hours, very enjoyable, and then came home. Then I had usual roasted veg with rice and sausages but I couldn’t eat it. I used half a scotch bonnet rather than the usual birdeye chillis. It was too hot, had to sling it! Had a few more beers and, hence, neglected my diary duties!

Day 59: It’s 01:20am. I don’t know why I am still awake and up, but I am. But, also, I am now going to bed. Nothing else to report, really.

Day 60: Half way through 12 weeks furlough. I was discussing this with Dad and Rita earlier - I am expecting that, at the end of 12 weeks, I’ll be laid off. I hope I’m wrong but I reckon it’s well on the cards. Off to have a beer round Karen’s in a sec which will be pleasant. Just a hour or so. It’s fucking windy today so I shall wrap up!

[violetwolfraven]

“I’d have a few ideas to warm you up.”

Fanfiction Advent Calender Day 7: Gay

...

When given the choice between jungles and ice bergs, always choose jungles.

That was the lesson Jay learned from this whole experience. Sure, his friends had tried to make him stay in Auradon for a while and make an actual travel plan, and they had succeeded for a few months, but Jay had never been one to not just go wherever the wind took him.

And... maybe he just wanted to get away from Auradon before something happened. With the villains on the loose—some of them actually dangerous, bad people—it was only a matter of time before somebody tried to get revenge and somebody else got hurt.

So, Jay had packed up before that happened. He knew Mal, Carlos, and Evie could take care of themselves, especially since neither of them had said it, but he knew that after it was discovered that Mal could go full dragon, Carlos and Evie had experimented with magic closer to their parents’ areas of expertise.

It turned out that Carlos could sew magic into garments if he concentrated. There was a reason none of the VKs ever got too badly hurt in battle; the protection spells Evie never told Mal she’d let their friend place weren’t strong enough to protect them completely, but they were enough to offer some shielding.

And Evie herself... Jay had seen how much the sorceress’s own abilities scared her. She could brew potions without even trying—without using magical ingredients—if she wanted. She could just shape her own anger into magic if she needed to, which was discovered after she accidentally slipped the entire friend group some cookies that were full of a nonlethal poison after Audrey was being particularly bitchy one day. Mal had somehow never made the connection between her best friend’s anger and the poison cookies. She didn’t even know that Evie was probably even more powerful than her mother.

And maybe Jay had heard the call of his side that was technically part genie. So maybe he was running from himself, too, knowing he couldn’t run from it forever, but running anyway. He needed to keep away from all that magic that he could sense as well as his own—at least for a little while.

“Hey, look, a seal!”

And maybe he was bringing with him the one person who’s parent had absolutely nothing to do with magic.

Uma and Harry had made him promise to keep Gil safe, offering to come, even, to make sure nothing bad happened. But Jay hadn’t wanted them around. Uma reeked of marine magic for obvious reasons and Harry was almost as bad. The boy had blessings and curses from mermaids and sea dieties built up from generations of sailors. That fact alone made bringing him on a sea journey too unpredictable, let alone the fact that Jay was trying to stay away from magic.

But Jay kept his thoughts to himself and smiled at Gil, nodding, “Yeah, I see it, Gil.”

“Maybe we should toss some fish overboard!” Gil suggested, “It’s almost Christmas! Maybe he’s hungry!”

Jay could not even express how much he did not want to do that once he actually got a good look at the seal.

“Gil, that’s a leopard seal.”

“The ones Uma said to stay away from if we went for ice bergs?”

“Yes.”

Gil was silent for a second before shrugging, “That’s okay. We can give it its space, but I doubt it’ll care if we get some pictures, right?”

Jay nodded, “Right.”

Jay tried to lift up the camera to get a shot of the seal, but his hands were shaking so badly from cold that he couldn’t get a clear shot.

Gil was taking a photo on his phone, but he looked worried when he turned to Jay.

“Hey, buddy are you okay? You cold?”

“I’m Agrabahn,” Jay pointed out, “It doesn’t get cold there, so I’m not meant for cold weather.”

“That sucks,” Gil muttered, “Hey, I’d have a few ideas to warm you up.”

Maybe it was just bad wording, but Jay couldn’t help but be caught off guard.

“Sorry, what?”

Gil smiled in that sweet, naive way of his and tossed Jay his hat, “Try this.”

Jay put the hat on, expecting absolutely nothing, but getting a flush of warmth through his whole body.

“Whoa. What—“

“Carlos made it for me!” Gil exclaimed, “He said his mom could make magic clothes, so he can, too!”

“And you’re letting me borrow it?”

Jay had to admit, most people he’d known from the Isle instinctively didn’t let him borrow their stuff for a very good reason.

“Sure!” Gil exclaimed, “I mean, it is Christmastime!”

[fullmetalscullyy]

day 8 - last christmas - wham

the magic of christmas time - royai advent calender

24 days - 24 oneshots | with angst, fluff, and everything in between | both canon and au

a collection of christmas themed oneshots to celebrate royai | chapter prompts based on my favourite christmas songs

read on ao3

a crowded room, friends with tired eyes

i'm hiding from you, and your soul of ice

“I can’t fucking believe she’s here,” Roy muttered as he knocked back his whisky.

“Roy, I’m sorry, man. I had no idea she was coming.” Maes looked worriedly between Roy and the door, where Roy’s ex was being greeted cordially by Gracia. Also known as, Gracia trying to keep her busy and keep her away from Roy.

“No, it’s fine,” Roy stated bitterly, but it wasn’t directed at his friend. “She knew about this and probably came just to piss me off.” Roy took another drink. “Fuck.”

“Look, if you want to go, I won’t blame you –”

“Uncle Roy!” Maes’ daughter, Elicia screeched loudly. Roy cringed while he still faced away from the three-year-old.

“Shit,” Maes muttered out of his daughter’s earshot, because the reason for Roy’s misery probably heard Elicia’s very loud call for his name and he really didn’t want to deal with her. The breakup was still raw, and he’d come here to try and get over her, to forget. “Elicia.” Roy turned and watched as Maes intercepted smoothly, grasping his daughter underneath her arms and lifting her into his arms. “Inside voice, remember honey?”

“Oh, right,” she giggled, not bothered in the slightest. “Uncle Roy,” she grinned, her whole face lighting up. Roy watched it, feeling a pang in his chest. He loved his godchild, but he didn’t have the usual energy to interact with her today. “I haven’t seen you in forever,” she stressed, a frown appearing on her face. “Where have you been?”

“Uh, Uncle Roy has been away with work, remember?”

“Oh. Yeah. Anyway, can we go play?”

Maes glanced at the back of Roy’s head after he turned to finish the rest of his drink. “Uh –”

“Of course, princess,” Roy smiled, turning to face his adoptive niece with a wide smile. Elicia perked up and grinned, her little arms reaching out so she could be transferred from her father’s arms, to her uncle’s. “What would you like to play with first?”

“My cars!”

Roy smiled to himself, his expression softening. That was the gift he’d got her last year. “Of course, sweetie,” he replied, kissing her cheek. He glanced to his right and saw that his ex was nowhere to be seen. Letting out a relieved sigh, he took a deep breath and walked with Elicia to her bedroom.

Roy opened the door and froze when he saw someone already in the room. The woman was making Elicia’s bed, flattening out the sheet when she turned at the interruption. A surprised oh left her, obviously not expecting to see someone.

“Um, hello,” she greeted. “Hello, Elicia. I’ll get out your hair. Sorry.” Without another word, the woman left in a hurry and closed the door behind her.

“Who was that?” Roy asked, slightly confused. The Hughes’ were rich, but did they really hire a maid?

Elicia’s face lit up. “That’s my new nanny. She helps Mummy and Daddy look after me while they’re working.”

“Oh. Okay,” Roy shrugged. Obviously, they were rich enough to hire a nanny. That was unexpected.

They played together for about an hour and Roy lost himself to it as she dragged out all her toys from the box. He forgot that his ex was downstairs and the mere sight of her still made his chest hurt.

They’d been together for five years, then last Christmas he’d caught her cheating at a Christmas party. The reason she used was bullshit, trying and cover it up and worm her way out of it – underneath the mistletoe was not an excuse for making out with someone else when already in a committed, long-term relationship – but like a lovesick and hurt fool, Roy went back to her. He was a dumbass for making that decision. Things were tense, but they were working it out, until a month ago when she’d done it again and Roy had had enough. He ended it and found out she’d still been cheating with the same guy all along. Talk about kicking a man while he was down.

He'd been a fool. He knew that now. Roy had been desperate, holding onto a hope that was no longer there. It had died last year, and Roy had been too crushed that he’d turned a blind eye to it. After all, a five-year relationship was a hard thing to leave, just like that. He’d probably held on because he was too scared of life without her.

But he was better off now. He knew he was. The pain would go away and he’d be back in the game in no time.

“Elicia?” a voice called softly into the room. Roy turned mid grin, his eyes falling on the woman from before. Her blonde hair was tied back off her face, pinned up in a clip at the back of her head. Her fringe fell across to one side, reminding Roy of a bird’s wing. She looked slightly nervous as she poked her head in the room. Her eyes never met his, but he did notice the warm brown colour they held within them. Her knuckles were white on the edge of the door as she gripped it tightly.

“Yeah?” Elicia asked distractedly.

“Mum and Dad want to see you. It’s time to get something to eat.”

“Okay! Bye, bye, dolls.” Elicia bid them farewell and ran from the room, grinning up at her nanny before heading back to the party across the Hughes’ grand front hallway. Roy stood to thank the woman for letting him know, but she was already gone, the door left slightly ajar.

Roy re-entered the party and immediately spotted the reason for his discomfort. Solaris – his ex – was sitting at the table in the Hughes’ dining room, laughing and chatting with the guests, completely oblivious to the sour mood she’d put her hosts in. She looked up at an inopportune moment – when Roy was still staring at her – and offered him a small smile, a knowing look in her eyes. Before he’d have fallen over himself to get to her while she was wearing that smouldering look, but now it made him sick to his stomach. Just how many men had she aimed that look at while they were together?

No. Fuck her. Roy could do better. So much better. He turned away and ignored it, making his way over to the buffet table. He joined in behind Maes and picked up a plate, shovelling food onto it, but not completely aware of what he was picking up.

“You okay?” Maes asked, breaking Roy out of his reckless shovelling of food. He stared down at the mountain forming on his plate and paused, placing one hand on the table to steady himself.

“I don’t think so,” he replied. He was hurt. Angry, most of all, at her, but still hurt. He didn’t want her here. He knew Solaris had done it just to get to him, or to try and rekindle something between them, but Roy wasn’t desperate now. He wasn’t as stupid as he had been. He wouldn’t do that to himself.

“Take five, okay? Or however long it takes until you feel better. I’ll let Gracia know.”

“No,” Roy stated vehemently. “Just… Give me a few. Then I’ll be back.”

Maes offered him a comforting smile. “No problem, Roy.”

Taking his plate – although he didn’t know why, he’d lost his appetite – Roy left the room. His feet carried him down the hallway and into the kitchen. The room was massive, fitted with state of the art, industrial equipment that was both expensive but made both Maes’ and Gracia’s lives so much easier. Roy was always in awe of their home. He wasn’t sitting in a terrible financial position himself. He was well off, had a good job, and had a decent sized house. However, it was nothing compared to the Hughes’.

Entering the room, Roy pretty much threw his plate on the table.

A quiet, surprised, gasp sounded from somewhere in the room.

Jumping in fright himself, Roy walked around the table, rounding the corner of a protruding wall, and saw Elicia’s nanny sitting on the step in front of the door leading to their back garden. As far as Roy was aware, this door wasn’t the main exit to the house, but more a “servant’s entrance” – one the Hughes’ used to unload groceries into the house because it was quicker from their driveway.

But… Why was she sitting there?

“Hello, again,” he greeted, still recovering from his surprise. At least he’d managed to speak to her this time. He didn’t want the woman to think he was a pompous, arrogant asshole who ignored people.

“Oh, hello,” she greeted, offering him a nod before going back to eating her sandwich.

“Sorry if I gave you a fright,” he apologised sheepishly.

“No, it’s fine, you didn’t.” She was a terrible liar, Roy noticed. He also noticed that she was actively avoiding his gaze, looking like she wanted him to promptly leave, and Roy could take a hint. He wouldn’t be the best company right now anyway.

“Okay. I’ll catch you later.”

He left, grabbing his plate to find a more private spot and froze in the hallway when he spotted Solaris walking towards him.

“Hey, Roy,” she smiled, but he noticed that manipulative look in her eye that had been present last Christmas. Roy said nothing. He couldn’t. Instead, he just felt his jaw clench tightly. Any harder and his teeth would shatter. “Merry Christmas,” she smiled.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked.

She looked slightly taken aback, but Roy didn’t know what for. He made his feelings for her perfectly clear. “We were both invited.”

“No, I was invited. You were my plus one, but you had no right to come here tonight.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re over,” he hissed. “Or have you forgotten that?”

“Maes and Gracia are my friends too,” she stated calmly, playing him, and Roy knew it. He was too furious to care. It was time to vent and if that involved screaming and yelling at this bitch, so she’d get the hint and fuck off, then so be it. He wouldn’t be fooled by her again.

“No, they’re not, especially not now. Not after what you did.”

Solaris sighed, as if talking to a child, and that angered Roy more. “Look, Roy –”

“No,” Roy snarled quietly. He was furious, but still didn’t want others to overhear. The door to the dining room was open, and he could see people walking by it, dangerously close to overhearing them both. “We’re over. That means you get the fuck out of my life. I don’t ever want to see you again, Solaris. Stop trying to play me and manipulate me like you did before because I’m having none of it.”

Breathing hard, Roy watched as her mouth fell open then she promptly shut it with a glare. Turning on her heel and flicking her hair over her shoulder, she stalked out towards the front door ahead of them. It slammed loudly and the murmur of conversation from the dining room died down because of the loud disruption. Maes poked his head out to search, then spotted Roy. He nodded once to his friend, then turned and entered the kitchen again.

“Fuck,” he cursed loudly, kicking the heavy wood table in the middle of the room. He ran a hand through his hair agitatedly. A noise from his left caught his attention through the haze of anger. It was the sound of the door opening and closing hurriedly. From the window leading to outside, he could see the woman – Roy realised he never caught her name – hugging her sides in the freezing temperatures as she hurried past the window wearing nothing but a pair of jeans and a thin cardigan. His face fell. The thick snow on the ground kicked up as she moved, slipping once or twice in the uneven surface.

Fuck. He’d forgot she was there. He hadn’t wanted anyone to overhear that conversation, yet he’d just spoke to her two minutes ago then promptly forgotten all about the nanny. Roy groaned. That made things a hundred times more awkward for her.

Approaching the door, she’d left out of, he considered following and calling her back to apologise. Hand on the handle, he paused. The half-eaten sandwich on the plate was resting on the stone step. Roy shivered, noticing just how cold this area was. Hesitating, he decided to continue with his testing. Sitting on the step, he shivered again when the chill from the door on his back and the stone beneath his ass spread through his body. This couldn’t have been comfortable for her, so why was the woman sitting here?

The mystery plagued his mind for a moment, distracting him from Solaris, which was always welcome. He was slightly worried about Elicia’s nanny. She’d been sitting here all alone in the freezing cold. Maes and Gracia weren’t the kind of people to send “the help” away somewhere quiet to eat their dinner, out of sight and out of mind. So why had she sat in the cold? And then he’d forced her out into the cold. Shit. He needed to apologise to her, and possibly offer her a coffee or a tea to warm her up.

Roy stood and left the kitchen, his plate of food forgotten, and he headed for the only entrance the woman would probably head for – the front door.

[secretkingdomjellyfish]

Another day, another penny...

Here we are again. Life has become even harder with COVID doing the rounds and offing every poor sod and his granny. I actually thought I had already witnessed or experienced the worst of what humanity had to offer but no, life and society continued to surprise me. From the hypocritical ‘clap for our carers’ movement (The same people who clapped where the same people in the supermarket the next day sneezing on your eyeballs - two meter rule, people!!) to our world leaders and celebrities telling the world ‘we are all in it together’ whilst they lounged in their 20 room mansions. It was all a bit...shallow. Every month is like opening the world’s shittiest advent calender only rather than getting a nice little piece of chocolate behind each window, we get some new unseen horror unleashed on us.

Then came the BLM riots. Another black man was killed by corrupt cops who gave absolutely zero fucks about him or anyone else. People were, entirely and justifiably, angry and the protests began but then something else happened. I had already seen this phenomenon slowly creeping it’s way in with COVID making the rounds but I just put it down to me being bitter and angry at life, therefore my perception of people (I had already set the bar WAAAAAY low) was skewed.

I saw people take advantage of an entire society’s grief. I saw the vultures circle to loot and hate or to share their idiologies of hate and pain and recruit more angry, tired teenagers to do their twisted bidding.

I saw both extremes of the coin take advantage of the situation to spread that same hate and lash out at the other side. ‘Don’t look at us, look at what the other side are doing!’ I heard them cry. ‘The people protesting are just violent thugs, look at them causing all this damage, how else are the police meant to act?!’. ‘It’s not us, we are just so tired of the police taking advantage of us and I REALLY need these new Nikes’.

But then there were the people in the middle. The people who just wanted real change. The people who just wanted the hate, the pain and the injustice to stop. Those people marched and protested and wanted their voices heard. Who were seeing what I and many others were seeing and wanted to restore the balance. Unfortunately they were quickly drowned out by the screeching of the two extremes and it became a game of ‘who could sling the most mud to deflect from their own actions’.

To say I’m sickened is an understatement. I’m embarrassed and I’m ashamed. I’m ashamed to even call myself a human being. My heart is utterly breaking at how broken we really are, how much trauma has been ignored and how easily we are influenced by shiny, new things. How the media continually drives us, like the herd animals we are, to consume, to buy, to hate others that are different to us. To make us think that our little tribe, family, race are the best and everyone else is wrong.

Do me a favour. Find a story. Any major story and then go read/watch/listen to several different news outlets (on both sides of the coin - you know who they are) and see how they report it. I can assure you, it will be like watching a different story altogether. Don’t get me wrong, they all have the very basic facts but they simply cater to their audience. No wonder people think they are right, they are surrounded by others who think the same way. They feel a kinship in a really scary world. The leaders (not the real movements, not the real game changers) take with one had and point with the other.

Plato had it right with his cave anology. Those shadows that the people can see are just that. Shadows. Boogymen. Nothing more than smoke and mirrors. I get that the world is scary, I get that we don’t understand even a fraction of how the world works and I understand so SO well that it feels good to find others who think the same way as you and even if you ‘see the light’ and see the world for what it really is, there are few who will listen to you. Most of us took the blue pill because the truth is just too painful to bear.

However, a new pattern has emerged here. A much more dangerous way of thinking. We just don’t allow ourselves to be wrong, it physically hurts! Everything we do is so emotional today. Everyone just wants to think emotionally rather than taking all of three seconds to think about something logically and rationally.

Society is full of adult toddlers who have a tantrum when they are challenged. Rather than giving them our time, we should be giving them a sippy cup with chocolate milk and a nap. I get it, it feels bloody good to scream and be angry. To blame someone other than yourself or your leaders for the life you have lived. All those missed chances? Not your fault, not your parents or your leaders fault. It was those pesky (insert blameless minority here)

Now I can already hear many of you shouting ‘I hear you lamenting but I don’t hear you coming up with any answers’ but the solution is simple. The implementation is incredibly complex and difficult and (unfortunately I believe it is also impossible but I’m praying I’m wrong) will require everyone to do their part but the answer is so SO simple. Equality.

I don’t mean the bullshit ‘everyone should be treated the same’ that’s not equality. I’m saying EVERYONE should be given the same chances regardless of their race, gender, sexuality, sex, wealth. Instead, the world is incredibly unbalanced and unequal and I have strong feeling that mother nature is about to shift it back into balance because she is a bad bitch who is fed up with us just taking but not giving back.

In my teens I went through a phase (I can hear the sniggering in the back). I found wicca (I can now hear louder sniggering). Now this phase lasted about 6 months and generally involved me wearing a lot of black, buying some coloured candles and generally trying out some cool spells because I could now do motherfucking magic biatches! But, soon enough, it fissled out and I got bored and moved onto something else (mainly the grunge scene - they, just, like...got me, you know?). But, I took one of my very core beliefs away from it. As at the heart of this beautiful religion it was all about balance. Whatever you took, you had to give back and EVERYTHING came back threefold - you had pay the dammed ferryman (you always have to pay eventually and not always in the ways you expect) . So, you sent out good vibes? You got those good vibes magnified right back atcha! Kind of a witchy butterfly effect.

Furthermore (check me out with the academic phrasing..eh? eh?!) many of followers of Wicca believed that their main deity was simply like a multi faceted diamond with many faces and each aspect simply reflected a different religion, deity or belief system and that she was always with them no matter what deity they believed in. (disclaimer - It’s been a long time since I was involved in this so if I’m wrong, please accept my deepest and most sincere apologies) but, again, it kinda made sense to me at the time (and still does). When I first started, it was new, it was different and it gave me purpose but then the glamor kinda got scraped off and I actually had to do some hard work and, being a teenager, I was just not into that.

Now I know many of you are asking ‘what the hell has this got to do with the price of cheese’ but bear with me because the answer is, again, relatively simple.

It’s all about balance. We have taken but not given back for so long. As a society we think that being successful is hoarding as much wealth as possible, drinking champagne and eating caviar whenever we feel like it, occasionally giving a few quid to charity to show that ‘we’re in this together’ because that is what the media have us believe. That it’s the ULTIMATE goal to have your own private jet and generally just whittle your life away doing nothing but pamper yourself.

We think the only way to achieve this is to take it by force. To be ruthless and cutthroat and step on as many heads as we can to get to the top, right?! That’s always been the way it was done!

However, that might have worked for a while but, as a society we have kinda went full circle and are right back at the start - openly rejecting facts and evidence for emotion (well it feels better to believe in x therefore it must be x) and anecdotal evidence (if you crack an egg at the fulll moon whilst hopping on one foot, you will totally get rid of that cancer - it totally worked for a friend of a friend so it must be true).

Right now the world is a giant carnival game and we all know those carnival games are rigged as shit. Step right up, Steeeep right up! Come along, try your luck! Why you look like an amazingly (add appropriate adjective here) individual, I bet YOU could win - not like any of these other chumps. The whole thing is rigged in favour of the wealthy and powerful and, in all honesty, I completely understand. It’s in our very nature.

It’s been so insidiuous and we have been bombarded so much with this message that we now have an entire generation of very broken and exhausted individuals who think that surviving and living are the same thing. News flash. They’re not.

This is why we are in the situation we are in. We have simply been sleep walking and ignoring what is right in front of us. In order to move on, we need to accept some really hard truth and take a long, good look at who we are as both individuals and as a society. Honestly? I don’t think we are ready for that yet the other two options are to continue the way we are going and let mother nature do her thing or simply destroy ourselves in the process. We are quickly running out of options and I REALLY don’t want to be the guy who said ‘I told you so’.

Now before anyone starts with the whole ‘you’re so wrong because (insert appropriate defense here) just stop and think for three seconds. Let that knee jerk reaction go and give it time to sink in. Even read it again if you have the attention span to do so and then think. Is he really wrong? Maybe the truth just hurts.

TL;DR - society is really broken and there’s no easy fix.

#wtf #covid #blm #hardchoice #depression #anxiety #currentaffairs

[forallyourikemensengokuneeds]

An idea popped into my head and I have t seen any one write it yet. An MC who is in the modern time, a therapist of some sort (doesn't particularly matter) and uses it to play Mitsuhide's game right back at him. They would be trained to pick up very subtle ques and tells in the same way, the only difference really is a spy network

She looked at the appointment calender and sighed. The next patient was one of her more difficult patients. He also seemed to turn the session around and left her adrift that not many could. She had known many people who were trying and completely Manipulate others, he was one of the best. Her mother was the best however and she had learned a few tricks from the woman.

She sat back in her chair and let herself breathe. This was his second to last mandated session and they had not scratched the surface of his issues. She almost felt like this was a failure. She couldn’t reach him no matter how she tried. She had an idea. Maybe just maybe it couldnwork. She squared her shoulders and thought for a second as she buzzed her receptionist and he was shown in.

He took his seat and looked at her behind the desk. “Are you going to sit there, my dear?” He was chuckling to himself.

“Mr. Akechi just wait a moment.” She said in her blandest tone. That caught his attention. He watched her as she sat there and was looking at something on the computer in front of her. He was now waiting.

She was almost going to smile. She now had his complete attention and she knew it. She kept her eyes focused on the screen. She knew he would be able to read her. It was his job after all. She also knew if he wanted to keep his job he would have to give her something.

She stood after five or ten minutes and she moved her seat to in front of him. Before she sat she removed the jacket to her slick suit just leaving her with a white button up shirt and her pencil skirt. It had done the trick. His eyes never left her body until they traveled to her face which she had schooled to a look of boredom. He could never realize this was a different game.

“Sorry to interrupt whatever you were doing for our appointment.” He said sarcastically.

“I didn’t think you would mind.” She said blaisely back to him. “It isn’t like we actually speak during these sessions.”

“Well that much is true. At least you won’t push so hard now.” He replied.

“No. I won’t. It is nice weather we are having isn’t it? I was thinking I would take a long walk in the park before I head home tonight.” She replied.

“The weather? Really?” He asked shocked she would bring up something so mundane.

“Well it is a safe subject for the most part.” She said as she stood and stretched. She walked over to the window and looked out.

“You know the last person who tried these mind games with me ended up dead?” He replied.

“That’s interesting.” She said but she didn’t turn around.

“Is it now?” He asked. “You pushed and prodded and now you don’t care?”

“I care very much Mr. Akechi but honestly why would I continue whenyou keep your secrets to close to the vest.” She said as she slowly turned arojnd to look at him sitting there almost irritated and irate with her, “the fact is I know you are only here to pass your evaluation not actually talk about things. I get it you are a spy. You have to keep things close. You have to protect yourself at all costs. I am not hear to prg or prop. I am here to help.”

“You understand?” He asked shocked.

“This isn’t my first rodeo, Mr. Akechi.” She said.

“Call me Mitsuhide.” He said and she went to sit down.

“Okay Mitsuhide how do you want to spead the hour?” She asked and he looked at her.

“You really don’t want me to spill my guts to you so you can place it in my report?” He asked as he looked her over.

“No.” She said. “I honestly have no desire to hear that right now. Let’s talk about traveling instead.”

“Oh so you can hear of the places i have been?” He asked skeptical of her every move. This was not normal.

“No.” She smiled. “I recently took a trip to visit an old friend and do you know the airline actually had the audacity to lie as to why we were grounded? They said it was snowing in the airport which was my connection but do you know the airport ran out of fuel? How could they run out of fuel? Its an airport.”

“I missed one flight because of something similar one time, well more than a few times actually.” He replied.

“Chicago?” She asked.

“How did you know?” He asked surprised.

“Apparently they are known for it.” She said.

“Which airport do you like the most?” He asked.

“Continental or all together?” She asked.

“You’re a world traveler?”he asked.

“I have been around yes.” She said with a smile. “If we are talking here then i would have to say raleigh.”

“And somewhere else?” He asked.

“ In Africa.” She smiled. “The place is classified.”

“Sure it is.” He said with a smile and chuckle. The pair went on for the rest of the hour and he dropped little hints for her to place later. The excercise worked well and she did get him to talk. She had to smile to herself.

“Mitsuhide it is time for the session to be over.” She smiled as she looked at the time. He got up and looked back at her.

“So Doc?” He asked.

“Yes?” She said as she sat at her desk and looked up at him.

“Next session is supposed to be my last.” He said

“I know.” She replied.

“Do you think I could schedule a few more appointments after that?” He asked.

“I think we could arraigned that.” She said as she wrote it down. “I have an assignment for you Mitsuhide.”

“That is?” He asked.

���Find something that has nothing to do with work and we can talk about that next session.” She said as she looked up at him.

“You know, my dear, I think I just might be able to do that.” He said as he turned and shut the door behind him. She smiled. Maybe her hardest patient just became her easiest one all thanks to the training she learned from her mother.

[alexafaie-asd]

Just some me rambling stuff.

Did some colouring for the first time in ages. Was kinda inspired by seeing some artists on youtube who I follow doing stuff for Inktober and drawing isn’t something I’m good at (and practising it isn’t something I enjoy so...) so I thought to colour in with stuff that could be classed as “ink” at least loosely. Nothing fancy, just some of the pages from a daily colouring calender I got in 2016 which I had planned to do each day, but just like everything I try I managed to keep to the “schedule” for like a week or two at the most before it collapsed and then I felt bad about not finishing it. So of course I got a more complicated colouring calender the next year because I never fucking learn.

Anyway... had a bit of sort of fun maybe colouring in a couple of pictures.

I’ve been feeling a little bit bleugh the past few days since however long ago Thursday was (I don’t know what day it is right now). I got the response from the PIP people about my Mandatory Reconsideration. I spent absolutely ages writing up the letter to explain just how the assessor had misrepresented what I said or just outright ignored my difficulties, pointed out the inaccuracies with the factual stuff (as opposed to anything that could be considered to be that word that means “different people might see it different ways”) and also explained how their failure to treat my difficulties as real was discrimination against my particular disabilities (they’re so called hidden/invisible ones like mental health issues) especially with how they used “high functioning” to claim that I can’t struggle with the things which they agreed I struggled with last time I got assessed and nothing has changed since then except that I have an extra diagnosis now.

Their response was rude, blamed the length of time it took on me even though most of the time was taken up by me waiting on them responding, giving me the face to face appointment date etc. And in response to me telling them how stressful the frequent reassessment periods are and how much anxiety they provoke & how they worsen my conditions, they said “Although the health Professional has recommended a 2 year review period, as you are no longer entitled to PIP then there is no review period required.”  Previously I was awarded PIP at the appeals stage because they found my doctors note that they claimed didn’t arrive in the post until then, even though we sent it recorded delivery and we knew for a fact that it was signed for less than a week after it was sent out. Without the doctor’s note they had tried to say that I didn’t qualify, but with the doctor’s evidence I suddenly did. In this letter they are saying that as the findings of the current assessment are “so different” than that of what was decided at appeals before, they’re using the more recent assessment as they believe its a more “accurate” reflection of my condition and so “supersedes” the previous findings. Except the assessor this time made HUGE mistakes and that’s what I wrote in to explain. But they are treating the assessor’s report as medical evidence even though she was a nurse with no training other than the 10 day course they send them on (and I’ve seen the information for autism - the PDF they are given as recommended reading but not required, is outdated from the early 90s and still uses terms which are no longer in use diagnostically). They are placing more weight on her interpretation of what my difficulties are than the actual medical specialists who have dealt with me personally.

My boyfriend phoned up to complain and ask to start the appeals process (they didn’t include the information on how to appeal in with my letter and the whole letter was written as if I wouldn’t even try and should be glad I no longer qualify as if I’m suddenly not disabled because they say I’m fine). He asked how even with the information and corrections we sent in, they still came to the same conclusion, most of which was a direct copy and paste from the original assessment report. It turns out that because we had complaints about the assessor’s report, they went back to ATOS to get a new person there to look over my case. “So why did they find the same thing with the new/corrected info given to them?” my boyfriend asked. They had even repeated the bit on how I apparently “was not offered alternative treatments or therapy, suggesting you don’t need them” even though we pointed out that in the letter we had originally sent in to them, the people I saw at the multidisciplinary assessment after my autism diagnoses had written that there were two other meds I could try for my bipolar disorder and that they had put in a recommendation, sent to my GP, that I be referred to one on one talking therapy. He said that surely they must have seen us point that out in the letter I sent in asking for the mandatory reconsideration. And it turns out that none of that information was sent to ATOS. So the new person at ATOS only saw what the first person at ATOS wrote about me and came to the same conclusion. When we pointed out that it is the PIP team who are meant to balance things out, they just deflected all the blame to ATOS and said the matter was “out of their hands” as ATOS is a third party organisation so they don’t have any control over what they do. BUT THEY CHOSE TO EMPLOY THEM TO DO THE ASSESSMENTS!! So yeah, they do have control over what ATOS do and are entirely responsible for any outcome if they choose to base the entire thing on what one person who met the claimant for less than 2hrs has to say about what the claimant struggles with.

Its ridiculous! How the hell did they think it was ok to totally ignore what I sent in other than to belittle me when I expressed how stressed and anxious the whole process made me and how demeaning it felt. Their response was just to demean me some more. When asked what provisions there were at the appeals stage (which involves standing up in court in front of three judges who are total strangers) for people who are autistic and struggle in social situations, especially with speaking in public, and they said that they had no idea whatsoever, but as far as they knew there wasn’t anything special. And that we’d have to contact the courts directly. Not that we have any of those details because nothing was included in with the letter they sent. They couldn’t even get the page numbers correct at the bottom of the pages. The last page was numbered Page 7 of 4. Yes that’s right, there were seven pages out of four. How did they manage to break an autofiling section of a document like that? They take that little care with these assessments they can’t even get the documents to be constructed correctly.

When I got the letter I just totally dissociated from everything I would have been feeling. And so its been a rough few days as bits and pieces of emotion have been popping through and washing over me in waves of feeling really shitty. I’m trying hard not to think about the whole appeals process because I know it scares me shitless and I can’t do anything about it now anyway. But its just so hard to cope with people just dismissing my difficulties. Its ridiculous because the criteria have not changed. In fact they got in trouble with the courts for being biased against people with mental health issues as their disability (focussing only on whether a person could physically do a thing and ignoring their criteria of “requires prompting”) and so were made to make changes to discriminate less. Obviously the major fines and telling off did fuck all. Its just so frustrating because my difficulties haven’t changed (unless they’ve got worse) and previously I was deemed to be entitled, so why should that have changed just because I now have an extra diagnosis that even better explains the problems I have? Like previously they tried to claim that bipolar disorder didn’t cause the particular difficulties I have, so I missed out on points in one area. However now I also have the autism diagnosis, that category I was denied points in before is now the only category that scored any points. So its like they are totally ignoring that I have more than one thing going on, and that previously I was still autistic so if I was entitled then, I should be now!

When we pointed out how they were being discriminatory in my letter, they responded not by apologising for what I felt was discrimination, but by telling me that the “Gray Report” concluded that the “Health Professionals” (from ATOS who do the assessments) are trained to a sufficient degree to do the assessments without bias. So I’m there pointing out bias and being told “no, that can’t have happened, this report we had done says there’s no problem.” Except I have looked it up and Paul Gray, responsible for the reports actually wanted changes like making the assessment report results sent out immediately to claimants, but the government is refusing to do so. So how exactly are they meeting what his report asks of them? They aren’t! The Gray Report says that they need to do more to gain the trust of claimants because they are currently so inconsistent that is confusing at best and detrimental at worst. Like his entire report is basically “some of these changes are positive, but there is so much more that needs to be done such as x, y, and z” and the government has said “ah that means we are perfect and doing no wrong.” Like his report didn’t even look at the assessors in great detail. It just says that they should be trained to an adequate level, not that they are. And that they should be unbiased, again not that they are. So why quote that report at me?

Just.... urgghhh. I’m so sick and tired of having to fight past what I’m sensibly able to do just to get what feels like nowhere. Like they even wrote in response to me saying that my executive dysfunction is so bad that if the washing up needs to be done, and I can’t cope with all the steps required to do that, then I don’t have anything clean with which to prepare and cook food and therefore won’t eat. They wrote that those things are “outside the scope of the assessment criteria” and so won’t be considered as evidence. So because I can’t clean the house and can’t then cook the food, that’s ignored as a reason why I don’t eat the food. I must therefore be able to cope with preparing and eating food unaided all the time. How stupid is that? I also wrote how my sensory sensitivities affect my ability to wash and to brush my teeth, so I’ll go days without brushing my teeth when I can’t cope with those feels (or am too depressed) and they said “brushing teeth isn’t covered under bathing, so we won’t consider that”. Like they are both forms of personal hygiene. Arguably keeping your teeth clean is a MAJORLY IMPORTANT thing which can impact your health in so many ways (like you can die from an infected tooth, or from a gum infection). But it can’t be used to build up a bigger picture about how far reaching my disabilities are?

And they said that the section on being able to communicate only counts if you can physically speak and physically hear what is being said to you. So my sensory processing disorder which affects how my brain perceives auditory information and how it therefore responds to said auditory information? Doesn’t count. So the times when I can’t tell what is being said because there is a fan making noise in the background? Doesn’t count. The times when there are multiple people talking and I can’t pick out the one important conversation and everything blurs into one droning sound that is overwhelming and causes me to avoid social gatherings that involve many people? Doesn’t count. My inability to tell what tone of voice I’m speaking with and inability to correctly modulate my tone of voice appropriately so I fail to communicate effectively due to it? Doesn’t count. My sensory overload causing me to shut down and go nonverbal for long periods of time so I can’t verbally communicate? Doesn’t count. Apparently. Even though in the criteria available online on the government website for how they are meant to assess disabilities for the different categories, it really should count. But all they mean is “are you deaf and dumb”? (Sorry for the old derogatory terms, but that is literally all they seem to think counts and the way they seem to be approaching this).

And just I have all these feels and they are not nice feels. And I’m trying to remain strong and positive, and trying to remember that I’m trying to want to exist. But its so so hard. And just reminds me how much I hate my life and how I hate how noone (in the “noone” kind of way, obviously some people) seems to care how I feel and how I struggle. And it really doesn’t keep me away from feeling suicidal. :(