#NEITHER HAD A CHOICE AND IT BURDENS THEM NOW

[nyt1ba]

     He expects her to vanish at any given opportunity,   she seemed ready to depart ever since he had known her,   a look in her eyes that held a secret he could wordlessly understand,   she didn't belong here and she fears the hurt that would come if she allows herself to find her place,   she's ready to run,   to avoid the pain before it can settle into her bones.   A part of him still wishes he could find an escape like her,   to forget everything for even a moment   &.   delude himself with the safety of a new world so far away from his own.   But he loved earth,   in all its disarray,   he loved it.   It had lost all meaning of home to him when the war robbed him of everything he had ever loved,   and yet,   he still labors to save it from the ashes,   he clings to life with an absurd hope when it was slipping right through his fingers like falling sand.   If his endless quest in salvation fails when all life is finally snuffed out of existence then he can at least fade along with it knowing he had done everything he could.   The strain between them caused by his elaborate lies was on the mend,   but Adam still feels that divide that sits between them,   there was always a line neither had dared to cross,   an uncertainty that made trust so difficult to give.   Still,   it was more to him than it was with anyone else,   a sort of freedom he had been denied when he had to renounce his own emotions and any sense of self to live for others,   if this is how it's meant to be,   then he's content to have remembered some parts of himself at the very least.        ❛❛   I know.   i won't stop you, the choice is yours in the end.   You can have my drone too if need be,   i'd be happy to help in any way I can.   ❜❜        though his voice doesn't communicate the sentiment correctly,   he means what he said,   her cause wasn't anything to concern himself with but he would like to lessen her load even for a little bit.

  Unlike her,   he's bound to earth not for sentiment alone,   it was his many burdens that kept him so rooted to earth,   a wish to protect what's left and what will come to be                     an ironic part for him to play when he had been the one responsible for all that had happened.   However,   guilt gives him further reason to take responsibility,   to right his many wrongs in relentless self punishment.   The people of Xion,   the Naytibas,   their continuity was hanging by a thin thread he had to keep intact with both hands,   for if he let go for one moment all would be lost.   It's exhausting,   he knows it,   he feels it,   a deep ache between shoulders,   crushing at him ever so slowly.   He never utters a word despite the days when his body is screaming for it,   it was his penance,   the price he must pay in order to find healing.   The scavenger allows himself the luxury of a sigh,   a weariness within dark hues as they drifted to look elsewhere.        ❛❛   I hope you never have to.   ❜❜        at first it was unbearable,   a torment he could not withstand,   now this endless toil had become his way of living,   [   if it can ever be called as such.   ]   He wouldn't wish that upon her,   while she had been similarly ruined,   there was much of her she didn't know still existed,   a goodness in her he wants to keep safe even if she doesn't want him to.

  Rolling onto his back again,   his empty gaze doesn't find solace within the stars despite how much he had tried,   he understands their meaning to her,   how special it must be to be able to bask in their gentle light that gave a safety similar to her home,   their glow is faint to him,   slowly dying the more he looks onto it,   when did life become so pale in his eyes ?   They come to a close,   favouring the familiarity of his own darkness instead.   Her little jab had stung at him once before but now it only brings out a huff   &.   a smile.        ❛❛   Its nice,   if you have something soft to land on.   ❜❜        he remarks,   a hand raising to rub at his temple in recollection of the headache he felt afterwards,   he never means for it to happen,   but always finds better things to do than to rest even for a few minutes.        ❛❛   I want earth to heal,   I want us all to heal.   That's my purpose,   my only goal.   It's why I keep going when everything seems   ...   hopeless.   ❜❜        it's a forlorn admission that slips past his lips,   aware of its impossibility but not willing to give up,   he can't afford to.        ❛❛   As for you,   I suppose that's for you to find out,   though, I hope you remember that you no longer have to do it alone.   ❜❜

Death is her truest wish — still held like a secret within her heart, unaffected by the shuffling of her priorities. While more reluctant than ever before, what she feels for him isn’t strong enough to keep her here forever — but it is strong enough to draw her back to his side time and time again. It is a strange sort of peace she feels with Adam, but at the same time there is an unmistakable fear lingering there as well. There comes a point in time where she generally cuts ties completely — leaves before she can be left. Her intention was to let the chips fall where they may, but talking to him feels so easy … a natural simplicity to it that defies all her usual instincts. Before she can even think twice, she’s already talking about staying.  Teeth press into the flesh of her cheek – but is staying really the best idea? Hand curls into the exposed side of her skull, fingers sweeping back ashen bangs as she responds,      “ I’ll consider it. Earth may not be the most hospitable planet, but … it’s free of Coalition control. That makes it much less – exhausting for me to be here. ”     The alternative is watching her back pretty much everywhere she goes – the added pressure of keeping herself free of injury is more taxing than she lets on and she finds herself more and more drained.     “ But ... I still have some things I need to take care of. ”

Revenants still wander empty battlefields, run amok within ruined cities, and rampage against the forces of the Sovereign Union – who try endlessly to recruit her to their cause. But Elektra’s days as a military leader are over, she can barely stomach recalling them – even the good memories leave her sickened. When all is said and done with the Revenants and the Coalition, there’s always bounty hunters seeking her head or former allies looking to stab her in the back to make a quick fortune. Not to mention the notable members of the Cult of the Falling Star whom she also hunts as often as she can. It seems that every direction she turns bears a new knife just waiting to flay her skin – with the exception of Adam, of Earth itself. While she never complains, does the work without a second thought … it is difficult to be denounced as nothing more than a traitor and a villain. Hard to exist in a galaxy full of people who would rather watch her bleed out than help her in any way shape or form – but she does it wordlessly, endlessly, days stretching now into oblivion.     “ Life just seems – never-ending knowing what I do now, ”     a sigh and the revenant rolls onto her back, wincing at the chill as the rockface presses up against her joints,     “ I don’t know how you do it.  ”

Elektra has never been stupid, she seeks death because it is a release – a way out of a life that does not want her. This galaxy is decidedly against her; living is akin to the feeling of being trapped inside a room with no windows, no doors. No way out. Nothing to do but surrender to the crushing pressure of it all, and yet – being here lessens the weight in a way she does not yet understand … which is why she’s not entirely ready to give up on Adam, Earth, or the concept of life itself.     “ Maybe you could give me a few pointers – although you don’t seem to be much better at it than I am, ”     a laugh, fingers settling upon her midsection, absentmindedly running along the scar that separates her synthetic skin from it’s genuine counterpart,     “ although … a week long coma does sound pretty nice sometimes. ”

[snifferz]

i feel like fishbowl and snuff could get along rlly well

bc theyre both like magical girls due to temporary inconveniences that they can eventually heal from and sort out over time.

ones overworked and has continued in the profession since their fucking childhood pet fish died + wanted it to come back (it did not, the wish awakened something else which is NOT what they wanted)

aaaand one has been through everything under the sun and wished for their partner to feel better (due to feeling like a burden). the offer wouldnt have been taken if they waited it out a little longer and found more opportunity.

[themeraldee]

Mark Me Yours

[Masterlist]

18+ Only | 4.6k | Homelander x fem!Reader | Biting. Established Relationship. Mild Pain Play. Cunnilingus. Fingering (with gloves on).

Written for cozy corner kinktober prompt #16: Biting

Amongst the buzz of some vague Halloween music and constant chatter, Homelander is impatiently looking around the room. As an annual treat, Vought organizes a Halloween-themed party for their shareholders, ambassadors and any and all influential people that get easily swayed by expensive champagne and an impressive catering spread. 

The one person not impressed is Homelander himself. 

He’s had his fill of schmoozing and brown-nosing at Madelyn’s behest. By now he’s just looking for an excuse to leave. He’s not one to indulge in partying like the rest of the Seven. Looking at the state of them leaves him with a bitter feeling. There they are being more rambunctious than ever while he’s the only one who’s trustworthy enough to actually get the job of upselling and marketing done right.

While it’s dressed as a fun party, Vought doesn’t do things for fun. It’s a thinly veiled attempt at getting all the powerful people in the room to spend more money and sign onto more superhero-led campaigns in their fields. Really, to Homelander it’s a waste of fucking time. There are so many better things he could be doing. But no. He’s stuck having to sweet talk every C-suite level person in the room.

And while part of him wishes he could just relax and kick back like the rest of them he just as much scoffs at the childish Halloween costumes the rest of his team came in. Before the party even broke out, Deep thought it would be funny to come dressed in one of those terribly cheap polyester Homelander costumes all the pathetic lowlifes wear on this day of the year.

Pfft. As if they could ever understand the burden that comes with wearing the suit. Neither, really, could Deep. That’s why one look was enough to get through even his thick and algae-infested skull that if he doesn’t change out of the suit there won’t be a body to dress up for the party. 

With an exasperated shake of his head he looks for you. He comes into these parties with decent energy, soaking up the applause and the adoring words but very quickly the praise turns sour when he feels just how empty and vapid each executive he talks to comes across as. They don’t actually care for his attention. They just want to wring him dry for more cash and fame. You’re the only one who’s managed to keep his usually soured high going. Your look doesn’t turn vacant, instead there’s a real person behind those eyes. One that’s his. One that adores him and is his to adore. 

So where the hell were you anyway? Your presence is what makes him tolerate the insipid crowds these days. Besides the fact that he gets to be with you and show you off to the world, he happily uses your name as an excuse to get out of conversations that just about manage to reach levels of stupidity and numbness that even his media-trained smiles and nods can’t keep him looking interested.

Fucking Halloween. What a stupid holiday, he thinks. Homelander slides his tongue over the fake plastic vampire fangs you insisted he wears throughout the night. As if he’s a child that has to partake in the “festivities”. As if it wasn’t enough that he’s gracing everyone here with his effervescent presence. Surrounded by cameras he has no choice but to keep up his flawless smile, now tainted with the silly prop.

And really at this point he’s getting less annoyed and more worried. You promised you’d show up. And while the party is in full effect you’re still nowhere to be seen. Homelander steps a little to the side, removing himself from as much of the chatter and music as he can, instead listening carefully, honing in on the familiar pitter patter of your heart. Only outpaced by the clicking of your heels as you rush across the stone flooring.

Tsk, late as always. 

Not even a minute later you make your way through the open door, immediately looking around for him. Homelander watches you try to calm down your rush as you finally settle your eyes on him. You’re smoothing down your dress and calming your breath. He leans against the wall, raising an eyebrow and with a lifted gloved finger he motions for you to come close.

Thank god you’re finally here. Just the sight of you is enough to release the tension in his shoulders. Relieved that there’s finally someone who he doesn’t have to pretend in front of. 

And what a sight you are. Dressed to the nines, a gorgeous classy black evening dress that fits your body perfectly.

He would know, it’s one of the many he handpicked for you. 

Looking at you now he can’t deny that he’s got impeccable taste. His keen eye is good when it comes to picking clothing that dresses your figure in a flattering way. Not just any dress would do, it always has to be perfect.

Until he actually notices the little band of cat ears across your head that has him recall the very long-winded argument—or an exchange of opinions as you liked to call it—about the importance of dressing up appropriately during any festivities you come to be a part of.

“Look who finally showed up. I was beginning to think you stood me up.” He flashes you a grin, letting the fangs exaggerate the sharpness of his smile. 

You stutter through your answer, caught off guard, and instead of defending your tardiness you change the conversation. Homelander watches as your eyes widen in surprise, locking on the way he slides his tongue over the pointy ends. The shiver that runs through you doesn’t escape him either. Well… isn’t that interesting. 

“Oh my god—I didn’t think— you’re actually wearing them!” Almost comically you put your hand over your mouth in shock and he takes the time to properly look you up and down. In your initial shock you let him in on not one, not two but three secrets. 

From the gasped breath and the excited shiver running down your body he deduces that your earlier adamant begging to have him dress up was for an entirely different indulgence. 

His second surprise upon checking you up and down was the lack of any undergarments. Not that he wouldn’t be able to look through the flimsy bits of fabric as well but the lack of them certainly inspires a mood. 

And the third secret your body lets him in on is just how much you enjoy the sight of his fanged grin. Your thighs rub together but with no fabric to soak into, your slick just squelches in between your legs. A sweet little symphony for his ears only. Maybe tonight won’t be so boring after all. 

If this was the kind of trick or treating he knew he’d be getting he’d have been onboard with the holiday a lot sooner. 

His mouth tugs into a smile but he stops himself, instead tutting and shaking his head.

“Unlike someone, I’m keeping my word.” He rolls his eyes. “After all that hounding you come out in this? So much for dressing up, Mrs Halloween spirit.” He makes a mocking gesture with his hands, waving dramatically over your Halloween costume, if one could call it that.  

“And sweetheart, although you look stunning, your little cat ears definitely don’t count as a costume.” Homelander relishes in the way you swoon under his compliments and attention.

At least someone here understands how valuable it is to have his attention. 

Homelander waves over a waiter, plucking a flute glass off the tray, passing it to you. This breaks you out of your trance and you finally get your words straight.

“Sorry, that’s why I’m late. I had a costume, I swear! Then Ashley needed help with something and then on my way here someone spilled red wine all over my costume, so I had to change. I know it’s not impressive but this was last minute!” 

“Oh, it’s very impressive. Just not very festive of you.” He quotes what you said earlier that evening about his reluctance to wear the stupid Dracula costume you prepared for him.

“If you wanted to come as Catwoman you could’ve worn some swanky latex at least.” 

“Oh no thank you. You’d be peeling me out of that at the end of the night.” And you look cute when you shake your head with that displeased look on your face.

“Who said I won’t be peeling you out of this?” He places his hand on your waist, his glove sliding across the silk of the dress.

“I’m hoping that’s gonna look a little more elegant than the latex suit would.” You lean in, whispering this little secret as if it was just the two of you in the room. You do always make him feel like he’s the only one in the room. Finally, he’s getting the respect he deserves.

“One way to find out.” He graces you with a show of his sharp fangs as he whips out another wide grin. 

It almost wins you over.

But you’re not that easily swayed. And you came here to celebrate Halloween with him. Clearly, he’s not gonna be able to use you as an excuse to leave just yet.

You say just that.

“You can’t leave yet!” You cover your flustered cheeks with a laugh.

Homelander doesn’t give up without a fight, but more importantly there’s nothing he loves more than having an upper hand. “Then why aren’t you wearing any underwear?”

He’s close to leaning you against the wall and boxing you in so you don’t have a chance to get away but he does have appearances to uphold. 

“I—um, I thought I’d keep you motivated to keep your energy up throughout the night.” You’re no stranger to keeping things exciting. Flirting with him is a must and comes naturally. Unless it’s outside the comfort of your home. Then you get all flustered and embarrassed. It’s cute, really. 

“You’re motivating me to leave.” He grumbles and dips his eyes back down your body, making it terribly obvious that he’s not just admiring your dress. 

On the other hand, he’s a better flirt in a crowd. He knows the power that comes with being surrounded by people that adore him and while it’s the comfort in between the two of you that allows that, he takes advantage of being the one who’s seemingly in control. 

“I've barely just arrived!” 

“That's your problem not mine, be punctual next time.”

 “Come on, just another hour. You can manage.”

He rolls his eyes, already beyond fed up with the party. However, he still has a job to do and you take the chance to make your way around the room to make your presence known to other attendees. 

As the time goes on, Homelander catches you looking around for him like a sixth sense tickling the back of his neck and everytime he meets your wandering eyes, giving you a dazzling smile showing off those fake fangs he still puts up with just for you. And each time you look away flustered and move out of his line of sight.

While everyone else is here to kick back, he’s still on duty, actively greasing deals, soft-launching Madelyn’s messaging and repeating the corporate-glazed talking points just to plant the seeds of Vought’s future plans in unsuspecting and mildly inebriated victims. 

The promised excruciating hour later he finally makes his way around the room back to you, pulling you out of the conversation with his media smile aimed at the group. “Sorry folks, you’ll need to excuse my date.” With a hand settling on your lower back, he takes you away into a quieter corner, plucking the empty glass out of your fingers, placing it at a nearby catering table.

“You have been avoiding me.”

“I have not! I just know how busy you are.”

“Right.” He spreads his lips into a wicked smile and he watches as your eyes quickly dart from his eyes to his teeth, not quickly enough for him to miss it. Neither does he miss the way your heart skips a beat.

It’s then he puts his hands on his hips shaking his head with a laugh. “I knew it, you’re into this.” He lifts one hand to wave a gloved finger in your face as if you’ve done something naughty.

“I’m not!” You’re a terrible liar. Homelander just places his hand on your chin as he uses it to tilt your head to one side.

While ignoring your protest he continues. “Is this some sort of Twilight fantasy you’ve got? Want me to bite you here?” 

“What—no!”

He raises his eyebrows, parting his lips as he glides his gloved fingers down your neck with his other hand. As if you were in a secluded bubble he has his eyes firmly set on you, focusing on the hurried beat of your heart. 

Unlike him you fluster. Unable to tune out the sound of the party and the presence of a crowd.

“Stop, you’re embarrassing me!” You squeak out like a little mouse, though your hushed voice makes no difference to Homelander’s keen ears.

While he doesn’t let the topic go, he does let go of your chin, allowing you to straighten up. 

“While I love you very much, I’m not covering myself with glitter.” He chuckles to himself, terribly amused at having found one of your guilty pleasures. “But I can be your super strong and fast vampire if you’d like that.” It’s his turn to turn all hushed and whispered. He talks in a way that he usually indulges in between the sheets yet he can’t resist to see your reaction.

Homelander doesn’t miss the way you shudder at his proposition. He almost melts away your stubborn exterior, but you snap out of the dazed vision and blink your fantasies away. This is not the place.

“Wait, how do you know so much about it? And no, no, it’s not a Twilight fantasy. It doesn’t matter. Does it really need an explanation?” Still continuing with the hushed outrage you pull him with you, backing out of the party hall.

Homelander grins at you widely, purposefully flashing the fangs while you drag him away from the party. You probably think you’re being subtle, trying to blend your bodies in between the incoming crowds. However, his cape alone is as dead giveaway as any. If anyone cared to get his attention at the party they were now keenly aware that he’s left. 

“Nope, not really. I just want to know what’s going on in that fucked up little head of yours.” The lightheartedness that comes with you two prodding one another is not only refreshing; it’s needed. To have someone he can feel like a lovesick teenager with is more important than he expected it to be. 

You act as if you were sneaking away from your parents’ house rather than seeking the quiet comfort of your home.

You secretly make your way down hallways, guiding Homelander behind you.

Even with his hand in yours you reluctantly turn around. The Eurydice to your Orpheus where one look would make him disappear forever. 

He understands the love shared between the two of you. Sometimes it’s so overwhelming it feels like its own living thing. Ever growing. Spreading like mold. Taking over everything that you both are. Be it good or bad. 

When he shuts the door behind the two of you it’s like the rest of the world goes quiet. He can’t stop himself from smiling widely at the sound of your pretty laugh when he spins you in place, clumsily dancing with you across the hardwood floor of his penthouse. 

He didn’t get the luxury of dancing with you during the party so he enjoys the feel of you carefree and against him in the comfort of his personal enclosure.

Neither of you need music to feel the intimate rhythm of your bodies. And really, the party has only just started. Each wrong step results in a giggle and another twirl with which Homelander brings you closer.

The warmth and love Homelander can feel from your laugh is so visceral he needs to taste it. He captures your lips. Simply pressing his against yours. Feeling the vibrations of your giggles against his pursed lips.

Just as he’s parting his lips to deepen the kiss you stop him, placing a hand on his chest. You don’t put any effort into pushing him off, it would be fruitless should you try anyway. 

“Take them out, they’ll get in the way.” You refer to the fangs you’ve been downright drooling over the whole night. Finally. Homelander takes out the prop fangs and tosses them to the side.

With no barriers in the way he devours your lips like he’s been starved for the taste of you all night. He’s drunk on the ease with which you let him take what he wants from you. 

He’s pulling out his best moves tonight. He’s always eager to impress, but tonight especially so. It’s not everyday he finds out about yet another depraved fantasy you’ve been keeping away from him. That alone is a reason to celebrate and pull out all the stops. So if a little innocent vampire roleplay is what you want, a vampire roleplay is what you’ll get. 

Nipping at your lips earns him a moan. His hands gliding up your body cause a shudder. He continues teasing you little by little until your body is begging him to take it further. Your tongue licks over the naturally pointy ends of his canines. His grin stretches wide, dissolving the haze of lust and instead reminding him of what he’s here to do.

He walks you back to the sofa, all the way until your calves hit the upholstering and your knees give in. With a gleeful giggle you fall onto the cushioning. Homelander follows after you, sprawling across your body, still kissing you.

"I can hear your pulse racing..." Homelander breathes out when he pulls away. His eyebrows pinched tight together, acting as if any second away from you causes him pain. 

It doesn’t. But being away from you might as well feel like he’s drowning.

“All that blood rushing…” In a breathy tone he continues. His hands push the straps of your dress over your shoulders. His hands tremble. Wanting to grip and squeeze and push and pull. But the power he’s capable of is always kept tightly locked up. But the desire and the pool of need inside him just begs for him to be inside you, feeling your supple warmth all around him.

But he wants to fulfill your fantasy. He wants to be good for you.

With a moan he drags his tongue starting from your collarbone up the line of your neck. Hungry for the faint taste of you he licks at the tender skin, sucking marks where you won’t be able to conceal them.

He laps his tongue over the junction of your neck and shoulder with the same eagerness he usually devours your cunt with. Now he’s preparing the soft delicate skin of your neck, akin to a surgeon before a procedure. Equally diligent in prepping your skin ready for the incision. Except Homelander wants you to feel the sharpness and warmth of his canines and incisors rather than the cold steel of a surgical scalpel. Your blood rushes to the surface where he’s sucked hickies all over your skin. The temptation to break skin and feel the warmth of your blood is tempting. But alas, he wants you lightheaded with pleasure, not blood loss.

He’s too sucked into his own world. Your blood is rushing loudly in his ears. He doesn’t even manage to slip out another zinger before sinking his teeth into your neck with a needy moan.

Should someone stumble upon you two, it wouldn’t be clear who asked for this roleplay in the first place. 

Homelander’s careful with the pressure he puts into the bite. Even without his super strength he could easily break through your fragile skin. Instead he’s leaving indents and bite marks over your neck that have you whimpering right into each lap of his tongue over the wounded skin.

Attuned to your body’s responses he can feel the way you’re getting off on the contrast of the sharp bites and the dull ache of his languid tongue.

When he’s done with your neck, Homelander pulls away. Eyes hazy with lust. Hands trembling. His heartbeat is so loud it overpowers yours. He slides his tongue over his teeth as if he was licking off your blood. He looks up to meet your eyes and if the sight of you isn’t something out of a dream.

Just as hazed with the thick lust in the air. The smattering of bites is exquisite on a canvas as perfect as you. Your body rises and collapses with each shuddered breath and Homelander wants nothing more than to finish painting your body with his love.

And he does. Tearing and sliding the silk fabric off your body he leaves you bare in front of him. Your choice to omit your underwear gets you rewarded faster. He’s already sucking and biting all over your chest. Swapping for soft kisses anytime you yelp out of painful sensitivity.

Homelander bites wherever his teeth allow to sink into your flesh. Giving them the same soothing treatment with his tongue like he’s done on your neck.

The bites he descends upon your sides make you burst into giggles, temporarily breaking the bubble of the heated tension. With a smile he nuzzles his head into your belly, kissing you with affection all over the exposed skin. While the love he exudes is just as intoxicating, you push his head further down.

“Greedy.” He teases, but he happily slides off the couch, kneeling on the ground right in front of your gloriously spread legs. “Want me to bite you here too?” He easily slides back into his breathy tone as his mouth waters at the smell of your arousal.

After all this time he’s spent getting you worked up with bites and kisses you’re leaking over the couch.

He doesn’t wait for your answer, if you were coherent enough to give it anyway, and instead he licks up your inner thigh. Narrowly avoiding your sopping wet cunt. And while the hypnotizing rhythm of your throbbing clit nearly sucks him in, there’s still plenty of supple flesh he’s yet to sink his teeth into.

Homelander treats your inner thighs with the same respect he’s given your neck. Even though you wiggle underneath his tongue he holds you down. His arm easily pinning your middle down, while his shoulders keep your legs open enough for him to continue.

Here the sensation makes you both whimper from the stinging bites and giggle from the tickling motions of his tongue. Your body continues to serve as a canvas as he litters marks in between your thighs. He lets a few bruises join the mix as he grips your thighs with too much enthusiasm when he dips his head lower to bite another mark higher up the sensitive skin. 

You don’t shy away from the pain either. The contrasting shades of pain he paints across your skin just make your breath stutter, your heart race and your core ache for more.

Homelander is just as strung out. His cock is heavy and aching uncomfortably in the tight confines of his pants but he’s not about to relieve himself. Not when you’re served in front of him like a meal. 

Finally he buries his head into your lap. He licks up a line from your weeping hole to your clit, slurping up as much slick as his tongue can gather. He goes through expressions of content, where he’s eagerly sucking on your clit, and need, where he pinches his eyebrows together, whimpering into your cunt at the feeling of you quivering around his tongue.

And really, he could spend hours in between your legs. Getting handfuls of your ass he pulls you even closer, his tongue now closely and precisely rolling around your clit in a rhythm that has your toes curling and heart pounding. He’s come to know your body as intimately as it gets. The changes in pace are part of his plan. The slow teasing to a fast build-up, letting the feeling of your encroaching orgasm climb up and up your spine until he slows down, dropping the meter down again, wanting to prolong your pleasure.

With the occasional pull to the side where he nips more bites into your inner thighs he has you strung tight, and he’s playing you like a violin. When your moans turn into near sobs at the constant edge he keeps you balanced on, Homelander takes pity on you.

Gathering the slick and saliva, he pushes two thick gloved fingers into you. The drag of the leather glove is not familiar enough to you and you whine at the contact, clenching down on his fingers. Tight enough to nearly stop the glide.

With soft kisses he descends upon your clit, he lets you relax. When your cunt is no longer squeezing his fingers for dear life he drags them in and out while amping up the pressure. The obscene display of you bare to the world and him still dressed in his uniform has you both vocal and shameless.

While he’s already done a fantastic job of licking you open and needy, making you into an even bigger mess than you were before; he’s now fucking you wide open, preparing you for what’s inevitably going to be his cock in a round or two filling out all the space his fingers can’t reach. 

“C’mon, keep fucking me. Harder. Harder. Ye-yes. Yes!” You groan out, your voice all cracked and strained from moaning for so long. 

You grind yourself down on his fingers as much as the space allows. Your fingers pull at his hair while you ride both his face and his fingers to completion. It’s a hard finish, with downright growled words of praise as you chase the high he’s providing you with.

“That’s it, that’s it, that’s it. Fffuuck. Such a good boy, letting me ride your face like that.” You pant in between words, just as eager to give out praise as he is to receive it. 

With an obscene squelch, Homelander pulls his fingers out of you, sucking the leather clean, adding to the already rich taste of you on his tongue. You slide down the couch and lean down to kiss him, and he indulges you in letting you taste yourself on his lips.

Pulling away, you only allow the minimum space apart in between each other. Just like him, you act as if being apart caused you harm. 

“Take me to bed. I want to ride your cock next. Aaand maybe bite you myself.” With a giggle you wrap your hands around his neck. 

“You know you can’t bite me.” With a tilt of his head he kisses the bite marks he’s left behind. Each kiss brings back a little spark of pain making you twitch. 

“I love a challenge.”

“Well I’d certainly love to see you try.” He effortlessly lifts you up from the couch, already carrying you over to the bedroom.

After all the treating he’s done, he’s definitely excited to see some tricks.

So maybe the Halloween celebrations are not so stupid after all.

Taglist (you can add yourself to be tagged anytime I publish a new Homelander fic):

@rafecamsgirlll @hom3landr @mrsdesade @littlegaaby @jokesonyoupup

@nommingonfood @infinetlyforgotten @nervoussystemss

[acciotaitlynn]

Hey! IDK IF U ARE TAKING REQUESTS AT THE MOMENT BUT FIGURED I ASK JUST IN CASE!

Imagine Doctor Zayne and MC with unspoken feelings, they both liked each other since childhood but neither of them saying anything to each other about it.. UNTIL

one day MC shows up to the hospital with a wounded partner (Aka pookie Xavier) and guess who’s treating him?? DR ZAYNE.

And MC is all worried about Xavier and putting his hands on her shoulders and brushing the hair out of his forehead and Dr Zayne is like like.. 😡🤨😡😡 but he has to remain professional

ANYWAYS an idea, feel free to make ✨spicy ✨if you would like!

Hiii ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ this is actually my first request and it was so much fun, thank you for sending it! 10/10 idea btw. I followed my heart—it spicy💦

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Zayne often found himself lending a hand across various departments in the hospital, a routine occurrence, especially during periods of understaffing. Despite the extra burden it placed on him, which was often more mentally taxing than the surgeries he performed, Zayne never really minded.

On the days he conducted rounds, he encountered more challenging patients and situations than he could count. Yet, none matched the weight of his current predicament. As he stood there on the threshold of exam room 5, Zayne observed you—concern etched on your face—as you gently swept a lock of hair from the forehead of a pale-haired figure.

He wasn’t sure how long he stood there, breathless, before you noticed him, your eyes filling with relief. “Xavier! He’s here—the doctor I told you about—he’ll take care of you, I promise,” you reassured the man on the bed, turning to Zayne with a silent plea; urging your best friend to ease both Xavier’s worries and your own. Zayne watched your gaze return to Xavier as you assessed his wound, squeezing his hand in silent encouragement.

The wound looked severe to you—it was probably the worst injury you’d seen Xavier sustain while on a mission. In a testament to his promise to always protect you, Xavier had risked everything, taking a wanderer’s claws to the stomach by leaping in front of you at the last moment. You couldn’t wait for him to recover so you could scold him for his reckless bravery, even if it wouldn’t change anything—Xavier would make the same choice again in a heartbeat. 

Meanwhile, Zayne still lingered silently by the door, hesitating as though contemplating escape. You shot him a pointed glare, making sure Xavier wasn’t watching, before mouthing, “What the heck are you doing?” while gesturing for him to come closer. You couldn’t help but wonder why Zayne seemed so uncharacteristically unsettled; he was usually the epitome of professionalism at work. Having been inseparable since childhood, you could sense when something was off with him—and something definitely was. But now wasn’t the time to address it, not with Xavier bleeding on the bed, his big blue eyes clouded with pain.

Zayne shut his eyes tightly, taking a deep breath to regain his composure. By the time he opened them again, he was confident his expression no longer revealed his inner turmoil—the struggle of watching the girl he secretly loved show such obvious concern and affection for someone that wasn’t him. He approached Xavier, carefully examining the wound the man had apparently endured while saving you. So what? Zayne had saved you countless times, he was always ensuring your safety and well-being—even in ways you weren’t aware of. Yet, you never fawned over him like this.

When Zayne finally spoke, his voice was eerily calm, his demeanor a mask of professional detachment. “It’s not as bad as it looks,” he assured Xavier. “It will require stitches, and I’ll prescribe a strong round of antibiotics just to be safe. I’ll also arrange for something to manage the pain, and give you instructions for home care.” Xavier nodded, and you felt a wave of relief at the thought of easing his discomfort. Zayne returned the nod and left the room without meeting your eyes. 

As Zayne stitched Xavier’s wound, he continued to ignore you, only acknowledging your presence when he dried his hands and prepared to leave. Your stomach sank when he finally looked your way. It was rare for Zayne to be upset with you, and even during those rare times, he had never looked at you like this. Though his face remained calm, a sharp hint of anger and hurt simmered just beneath the surface, startling in it's intensity. “Zayne?” you started, but he cut you off with a flat tone, “The pain medication should take effect soon. It will help him rest. We’ll keep him under observation for a few hours.” Then he was gone, the door swinging shut softly behind him.

You couldn’t think of anything you’d done recently that would warrant such an attitude. Sure, you hadn’t been sticking to his recommended sleep schedule, and there was that time you snapped at him for using his evol to catch a plushie, insisting it never worked anyway. But none of those felt significant enough to explain the emotions you just saw swirling in his eyes. You turned to Xavier, gently smoothing his hair. He seemed more at ease, his eyes fluttering shut as you encouraged him to rest.

You waited at Xavier's bedside, feigning interest in the cooking show on the screen while nurses came and went—but your mind was consumed with thoughts of Zayne. His behavior gnawed at you, intensifying your frustration by the minute. Not even an hour had passed before you found yourself bolting from the room, following the familiar route to his office. He didn’t seem surprised at all when you burst through the door, almost as if he’d just been waiting there for you the whole time.

“What’s wrong with you?” you demanded, unable to hide the irritation in your voice. Zayne didn’t even look up; he simply adjusted his glasses and continued typing. “I don’t know what you mean,” he replied in a bored tone. “Yes, you do! You’re treating me with peak Zayne-saltiness. Please, tell me what’s going on.” Your tone softened, pleading with him. You hated when Zayne was upset, and, as frustrating as he was being— you still wanted to make things right. Placing your hands on his desk, you leaned over to press your forehead against his. “Please,” you repeated, hoping to break through his wall. He leaned back in his chair with a sigh, his gaze unreadable as he looked at you.

Zayne really wanted to avoid this conversation, and regretted his earlier behavior immensely; knowing it would lead to this moment. But as you pleaded with him, words slipped from his lips against his will, drawing him closer and closer to the truth he had kept hidden for so long. “How long have you known the hunter? You two seem quite close,” Zayne inquired. You tilted your head, studying him. “Are you jealous, Zayne?” The question felt absurd the moment it left your lips—Zayne had never shown interest in you like that, no matter how much you wished he would.

He averted his eyes. “I’m allowed to ask these types of questions. I promised Josephine that I would always protect you—It helps to know the people you associate with.” You rolled your eyes at his feigned nonchalance. “Well, I met Xavier shortly after joining Unicorns. We met under… odd circumstances, but he’s become a good friend and a reliable partner.” Walking around his desk, you gently lifted Zayne’s chin to meet his eyes. “I know you’re not—but if, by chance, you were jealous—he truly is just a friend. Sometimes I think he might want to be more, but… I’m not interested in him like that.”

Your words were honest. Zayne’s eyes searched your face intently. “What if I told you that I am jealous?” His voice was so soft it was barely a whisper. Your response was just as quiet. “You… but why would you be?” He gave you a sad smile, his fingers lightly brushing your cheek as he tucked a stray lock of hair behind your ear. The sadness etched onto his face was unbearable, and you weren’t sure if he was saying what you hoped he was—but you decided that it didn’t matter. Closing the distance between you, you cupped his face and pressed your lips to his.

Relief flooded through you instantly—no matter the outcome, at least you wouldn’t have to hide your love for him any longer. Zayne froze beneath you, eyes wide as he watched your lids gently close, a look of bliss washing over your features as you leaned into the kiss. Slowly, his hands slid to your waist, guiding you between his legs as he enveloped you in his arms. He deepened the kiss, a soft groan escaping as his tongue met yours. The taste of you was familiar—like all the times he had pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek or forehead—but now he could fully savor it—every sense was focused on you, leaving him utterly intoxicated.

What began as a gentle exchange quickly turned hungry, and you responded in kind, your hands tangling in his hair as you pressed against him. Rising from the chair, Zayne cleared the desk with a careless sweep and lifted you onto its surface. The intensity in your gaze as it roamed over his body without inhibition, lingering dreamily on the outline of his erection, was almost too much for him. He’d never dreamed you might look at him this way, and now that you were? It took all his strength not to lose control, everything inside Zayne urging him to claim you; to be with you as he’d longed to for so long.

He knew he should stop—he yearned to take his time, to cherish every part of you—a plan he had imagined in great detail over countless daydreams. But those plans vanished when your soft voice pierced the moment. “How long have you felt this way?” you asked, needing to know if he had wanted you for as long as you had him. “Perhaps from the moment I performed surgery on your melted popsicle,” he confessed.

Zayne was your closest friend; you thought you knew him as well as you knew yourself—how had you missed it? Then again, he’d missed your true feelings, too. In a small voice, you admitted, “I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember, Zayne. I told myself I was content with being your friend… but every day was harder than the last. If this hadn’t happened… it probably wouldn't have been long before I caved and told you.” Disbelief clouded his expression, his breath momentarily forgotten as his heart pounded in his chest. Realizing he wasn’t going to make the next move, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him back into a kiss.

Your kiss was softer this time—savoring the feel of his lips against yours and the tiny whimper that escaped him as you placed gentle kisses along the contours of his face. With a teasing smile, you began unbuttoning his white coat. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve envisioned doing this,” you said, as you pulled it off and tossed it carelessly across the room. “Just as satisfying as I imagined,” you confirmed, taking in the scars that trailed out from his rolled sleeves with hungry eyes. Zayne chuckled, meeting your lips again. Not even giving him the chance to gather the courage to remove your own shirt; you pulled it over your head, quickly adding it and your bra to the pile on the floor.

His eyes couldn’t drink you in fast enough. He admired you for a long moment before reaching out to brush a thumb over your peaked nipple. Biting his bottom lip, he gently tugged at the bud, watching your breast bounce back into place. Something seemed to ignite in Zayne then, his mouth eagerly exploring every inch of your chest with a newfound urgency. His teeth and lips worked gently to leave light marks on the soft mounds. He pulled back to admire his handiwork, contentment and desire clear in his gaze. “All mine,” he murmured, almost to himself. But you heard him. “All yours,” you confirmed softly. It was the truth—it always had been. Zayne drew in a sharp breath, momentarily freezing as disbelief gave way to sheer happiness at your words. You couldn’t remember ever seeing him so joyous.

The two of you became a whirlwind of lips and teeth, you marking him with your own love bites while his tongue sought out the most sensitive areas of your skin, leaving you trembling and breathless. Zayne was so lost in the moment that he barely noticed when you slipped off your panties and pushed your skirt above your waist. His attention snapped back when you propped your feet on either side of you, parting your legs to reveal yourself entirely.

The sight was overwhelming for Zayne—your soft breasts, swollen and red from his touch, and your beautiful form; heat glistening with arousal just for him. “Your turn,” you teased with an eager smile. In that moment, nothing else existed for you as he slowly unbuckled his belt, lowering his slacks just enough to free himself. Over the years, you’d caught glimpses of Zayne in swim trunks or boxers—enough to fuel your fantasies. But seeing him now was incomparable to anything you’d imagined. His cock was thick, perfectly so, and the thought of accommodating him sent a thrill through you. It was long, too, with a curved tip that promised to hit all the right spots inside you. Watching precum drip along his length, you couldn’t resist gathering it on your fingertips and licking them clean with a sigh.

Zayne was captivated by the sight of your face filled with delight at the taste of him, your eyelids fluttering shut in ecstasy as you sucked the slick digits. “You’ll be the death of me one of these days,” he murmured, capturing your wet lips in a searing kiss. With no resistance left, Zayne’s touch was uninhibited. His grip was firm as he pulled you closer, your hands tangling in his hair again as his kisses trailed down your stomach and across your sensitive inner thighs. He delighted in the way you giggled when he nibbled on certain spots, soothing them with his tongue, savoring every sound you made.

Your giggles turned into a deep groan as he licked a flat stripe across your cunt, eagerly slurping up your arousal. The vibrations of his groan against your clit shot straight to your core, making your body sing with pleasure. You tasted even better than Zayne had imagined, making him wonder if he could get addicted to your essence alone.

Your murmured chants of his name spurred him on, his tongue exploring every inch and crevice of you, memorizing the spots that elicited your loudest cries. He grappled with maintaining his composure against the tight embrace of your walls around his tongue—so snug that Zayne wondered if you'd be able to take him fully when the moment arrived.

Your soft, slick skin felt incredible beneath his tongue and lips; the taste and scent of you completely consuming his senses. He was utterly lost in you. It was unclear how long he stayed between your thighs, his tongue languidly dipping in and out before drawing lazy circles on your swollen clit; almost teasingly. When you finally couldn’t take it anymore, needing more than anything to finish with him inside you��you pulled him up to meet your gaze. His lips and chin were coated in saliva and your essence, a blissed-out expression lingering on his face. Reaching out, you wrapped your hand around his length, pumping to spread the generous amount of precum gathered at the tip. Your other hands drew him closer as you spread your legs wider, softly rubbing his cock through your folds. Your gaze locked onto his as you guided him inside, his forehead resting gently against yours as his panted breaths caressed your face.

As Zayne pushed deeper, nearing halfway, you too began to worry that you might not be able to take all of him. His murmured words of encouragement were a soothing presence in your ear, accompanied by the gentle stroke of his fingers through your hair as you struggled to accept the rest of him. “That’s it—just breathe for me, love. You’re doing so well.” When he bottomed out with a soft exhale against your cheek, you both stilled, tears forming in your eyes at the perfect fullness of him inside you. “Is this okay?” he asked softly. “S’perfect,” you sniffled, beginning to move your hips against him.

He set a steady, deep rhythm, marveling at the sight where the two of you were joined. Your body eagerly welcomed him, and if Zayne pulled away for even a moment, your hands and cunt instinctively drew him back in. Seeking Zayne’s gaze, your wide, teary eyes locked onto him with a sudden intensity. “I thought that I'd never get to have you like this…never be able to show you how much I—” Your voice faltered, a wave of embarrassment washing over you at revealing so many hidden emotions so quickly—you weren’t sure how deeply Zayne’s feelings ran, and giving so much of yourself without knowing was daunting. His hand cupped your cheek, the look of complete adoration in his eyes soothing your fears instantly. “I understand,” he assured you. “I feel…complete, for the first time in my life. It’s overwhelming.” Your tears began to flow freely at the sincerity in his confession, and you couldn’t help but plead, “I need more.” His hands gripped your hips tightly, fingers dimpling your skin as he pushed your legs further back, allowing his cock to delve deeper. His thrusts turned almost primal for someone usually so gentle—his hands on your hips served to keep you from sliding across his desk as he drove into you.

Zayne needed you—more than you could possibly understand. With each deeper, harder thrust, he felt the ache of longing start to fade as the relief of finally having you trickled in. His name slipped from your lips like a whispered prayer as you felt your walls clench and throb wildly around him, ecstasy pulsing through your body in waves. Your desperate plea, “Need you to cum inside, Zayne,” was his undoing. His hips stuttered, and with a deep final thrust, he spilled inside you, his warmth filling you completely.

Even as his movements stilled and he softened within you, your eyes remained locked. Slowly, a smile spread across your face, mirrored by Zayne’s own grin, and you both beamed at each other like a couple of love-struck teenagers. As he gently pulled out, Zayne drew you in for a lingering kiss, pressing a tender one to your forehead with a soft chuckle. You lingered in that blissful moment, wrapped in each other’s arms, unwilling to let go. Then, a sudden thought jolted you back to reality. “Xavier!” you exclaimed, remembering your friend and nearly leaping off the desk.

Zayne’s grip on your hips held firm, stopping you in your tracks. He kissed you again, determined to push thoughts of the hunter out of your mind. He realized now that he had no reason to be jealous—but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be a little selfish. Now that he had experienced your affections being fully focused on him—Zayne was determined to keep it that way a bit longer.

“He’s fine,” Zayne assured you. “He has an excellent nurse tending to him. You’re not needed right now.” You raised an eyebrow at his new mildly possessive attitude. He continued, “The painkillers will keep him comfortable for another hour or so. And if necessary, I can always order more.”

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[whetstonefires]

Underrated element of where Jiang Cheng is re: wwx after everything is that they always had a sort of dual relationship. Two different relationship premises, superimposed on one another.

There's the one where they grew up together, as close as brothers, beating each other up and complaining and being one another's closest companions, sharing a bedroom as kids and eating at the same family dinner table, actively encouraged by Jiang Fengmian to interact as equals.

And then there's the one where Wei Wuxian was in service to Jiang Cheng's family. Not as a servant--Jiang Fengmian absolutely refused to do that, even if he couldn't adopt him. But as a disciple of Jiang Cheng's father and recipient of his charity, as Jiang Cheng's future right hand and most trusted subordinate.

It's a vertical relationship, intimate in its own way but with very strict expectations about what obligations flow in what directions; they are not identical and reciprocal as between friends and equals.

(It's my opinion that Jiang Fengmian's core deal was a deep-seated discontent with the hierarchies he was at the top of, without access to any way to actually deconstruct them or even coherently articulate his opposition. Wei Changze was his dear friend, and no one thinks that's a good enough reason for him to treat Wei Changze's son like his own, because Wei Changze was also his servant, and you can't make that circle square. That's not a way you're allowed to love.)

Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian were like brothers; Wei Wuxian served Jiang Cheng.

The personal relationship was always the most important one. To them, in their hearts. But it was the other one that was real, that had weight in the world.

And it's important to understand that neither can be held up as more factual than the other, even though they conflict. Both relationships existed, and had power.

So then when Jiang Cheng chose to hate Wei Wuxian and articulate his grudge against him, he chose to do it in the language of fealty. Because as far as he knew, his case there was secure, watertight, and it wouldn't expose him emotionally or politically.

And those are the terms in which he's been condemning him all this time: for abandoning the Sect, for ingratitude, for lack of loyalty.

For fuckups, too, and poor judgment, but some of that now turns out to have been justified and some of it was mostly the fault of enemies behaving badly, or even Jiang Cheng himself allowing himself to be pushed into making unworthy choices.

And it was all for his sake.

The thing, the thing in my opinion, about what Wei Wuxian did, about the core transfer and his silent self-destruction around keeping it secret, is that that is a hideous thing to have done between two people who love each other, as an act of love. Beautiful, but awful. As the man who was like a brother to him, Jiang Cheng has a great deal of standing to object to it.

But as an act of vassalage, it's basically perfect.

If Wei Wuxian were only what he formally was to Jiang Cheng, if he is interpreted through a lens of fealty and obligation, he did exactly what he should have done, and went beyond what duty actually required. And went to his death silently, allowing himself to be judged, taking all the burden on himself rather than let harm come to his lord.

Like, obviously Jiang Cheng was harmed by the part where Jin Zixuan got manslaughtered and Jiang Yanli walked into the line of fire in situations where Wei Wuxian was resorting to violence and probably shouldn't have, but those are one step removed from the core issue. In terms of Wei Wuxian's intentional choices around Jiang Cheng himself, at the times he was feeling betrayed and abandoned Wei Wuxian was in fact being impossibly, poetically loyal, an absolute cliche about it.

But only in terms of the hierarchical form of their relationship.

Which means that even though Jiang Cheng has a lot of reasons to still be mad at Wei Wuxian, his actual complaints that he's centered for thirteen years are basically wiped out by the revelation of Wei Wuxian's sacrifice.

Wei Wuxian was in fact doing the tragic hero loyal vassal thing, which very much includes being misunderstood and slandered by the world. (Chenqing as a name choice absolutely references this expectation, and the idea that Jiang Cheng specifically will never understand that Wei Wuxian was trying to help him first and foremost all along; he is not subtle.)

The debts Jiang Cheng has been spitefully calling in and considering defaulted were already long paid.

So if at this point Jiang Cheng keeps pursuing that same line of rhetorical attack, now that he knows, he'll be putting himself morally in the wrong, and he knows it. But if he pivots to something else, he'll both be signalling the shape of that secret to the entire world and looking like a prize idiot.

Which is already how he feels.

To actually address the remaining grievances between them, which are considerable, would require releasing those safe, open grudges to Wei Wuxian's face and then reclaiming him as a loved one. Which is, one could fairly say, more than anyone could expect.

Which is why Wei Wuxian told him he didn't have to.

Which leaves Jiang Cheng at something of an impasse.

[pasukiyo]

Hey, ignore if u arent still doing requests but I've had this storyline in my head for ages and I think ur a perfect writer for tom. Basically, the reader is a muggleborn but she attends Hogwarts and it's like half term where they are all home for a break. Shes either avery or lestranges adopted sibling and it's kinda been kept a secret from tom because.. well yknow shes a muggleborn lol(he knows about her now because her adoptive brother had to explain before bringing Tom over) anyways so hes at every or lestranges house for some reason (you make it up) and shes in her room, her adoptive brother needs something so he asks tom to get it from her desk in her room and they preferably have 🌶 time. Sorry if it sounds stupid but I've been thinking about this for ages!!😭

𝐰𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 | tom riddle

tom riddle x f!reader 8,104 words warnings: smut. sort of angst. also lots of prejudice against muggle-borns. read part two here. notes: reader is hufflepuff and muggle-born in this one. summary: every year, the lestranges will hold a christmas party for only the oldest of pure-blood wizarding families. every year you are locked in your room while the party rages downstairs, but everything will change when tom riddle is invited to this year’s party. everything…

 The Lestrange name definitely held some irony, considering how strange the family truly was. The Mother sent an owl at lunch, the rolled parchment dropping onto the plate in front of Tiernan Lestrange. On either side of him sat Clarence Avery and Liam Mulciber, who gazed down at the rolled parchment sealed with the Lestrange family crest with sparkling irises. 

 “Is it for the party, Lestrange?” Avery asked as Lestrange took another bite of his sandwich, dusting his hands off before finally taking a hold of the parchment, untying the ribbon keeping it closed. “More than likely,” he replied as the parchment unraveled, his mother’s handwriting gazing back up at him in inky black cursive letters. 

 ‘To my dearest son,

 Tell your friends they’re more than welcome to join us on Christmas Eve for the party. Invite that Head Boy you were writing to me about too. I am most interested to meet him, since you speak so highly of him. Remind the Girl that she is to not speak of the party, I simply cannot have any more of her kind in the house. I will see you at King’s Cross Station, my darling. 

 With all my love, your mother.’

 Of course, the Girl referred to the Hufflepuff sitting all the way across the Great Hall at her own House’s table, her head down as she ate, so as to not catch the attention of her brother or any of his friends. She didn’t choose this family— and if it were her choice, she’d be far away from them— and neither did they. 

 It was the fault of whomever it was who dropped her onto the Lestranges’ doorstep in the wee hours of the morning when she was only an infant. The Mother had given birth to her son only a few months before, and found the crying baby on her doorstep to be quite a burden. 

 She asked herself why the Mother and the Father even bothered keeping her, for even before they learned of her blood status, they hated her. Perhaps it was to uphold their reputation— taking in a child who wasn’t theirs? It was the perfect foundation for the story of a kind-hearted pure-blood family— how could the Lestranges let that opportunity go?

 Of course, behind closed doors, she was treated less than a family member, some would argue far less than a house elf. She may as well have been a house elf if you ask her. She was treated like how they believed anyone of her kind should be treated— a mudblood deserved to be treated like the rubbish they are, they’d say. 

 Up until she got her Hogwarts letter, she believed them. She believed she deserved to be treated this way, that she deserved to be put through the torture that came with living with the Lestranges. She believed she had filthy blood, demon blood. 

 But all of that changed the second she first stepped foot into Hogwarts. Of course, the Lestranges were at first very against letting her attend Hogwarts— mudbloods shouldn’t be taught magic, they’d say— but even they could only take so many letters flying through the fireplace or popping up in the stew before they gave in. Of course, she wasn’t allowed to tell anyone of her blood status— “you are not to tell anyone of your filthy blood status,” the Father had told her with an accusatory finger in her face. “As far as anyone is concerned, you are pure-blood. So I expect you to act like it.” 

 Her school robes and supplies were not as grand as Tiernan’s, and she wasn’t allowed an owl or a cat or a toad. But she told herself that she would make do with what she had, and she felt at least a little bit grateful that the Lestranges didn’t give her tattered secondhand, even third-hand clothes, even if she knew it was all for the act. 

 When the Lestranges found out she had been sorted into Hufflepuff however, oh, it gave them all the more reason to ridicule and torture her back at home. “Of course the mudblood is in the weakest House,” the Mother would mutter beneath her breath as she and her husband read the letter their son had written. “We were fools to think that old ratty hat would sort her into Slytherin.”

 Tiernan and his friends— they made certain that her life at Hogwarts was just as bad as her life at home. Of course, Tiernan was the only one who knew the truth about her blood, Avery, Mulciber, and the others just tagged along because they found it funny. They loved calling her names, making her trip in the hallways, pulling pranks such as jinxing her school books so that they may not open no matter how hard she tried. 

 And still, she didn’t dare stand her ground, for she knew all too well that the Mother and the Father would catch wind of it, and make certain that she’d be on the first train back to King’s Cross Station. So instead, she dealt with Tiernan and his friends, just like she learned to deal with everything else. 

 But Tom… Tom Riddle was different. 

 Tiernan Lestrange and his friends worshiped the ground Tom Riddle walked on, and it was no secret. She remembered when she first saw Tom, all the way back in the Sorting Ceremony in her first year at Hogwarts. She remembered hearing his name ‘Riddle, Tom’ being called and she remembered watching as he approached the platform, settling himself down onto the stool. 

 She remembered the way their eyes met and she swore her knees turned into jelly when she gazed into those dark ravines he had for irises. And she remembered when the Sorting Hat exclaimed “Slytherin!” hardly before it had even touched a hair on his head. 

 And she remembered how disappointed she felt when she was called up to be sorted, the Sorting Hat put her into Hufflepuff. She wanted to be a Slytherin— she wanted to be wherever Tom Riddle was. 

 In all her time at Hogwarts, she’d never even spoken a word to Tom Riddle. They’d pass each other in the halls, but thanks to her brother, she’d never been given the chance to even tell him hello. And Tiernan made it clear that she never would. 

 So life went on, and she got older. She hoped that over time, she’d forget about Tom. But it was hard when he was made prefect, and when he was given the Special Award for Services to the School, and when he was made Head Boy at the beginning of their seventh and final year. 

 She remembered her fifth year during all the attacks on muggle-borns vividly as if it were only yesterday. She remembered how frightened she was when she realized it was muggle-borns whatever it was was attacking. She remembered the panic she felt when Hogwarts was on the brink of being closed— she couldn’t have that! She belonged at Hogwarts, not out there with the Lestranges where she was treated like vermin. 

 At least here, she could pretend to be someone she was not. 

 Of course Tiernan was no help, always taunting her and teasing her that she’d be next. She remembered when she heard that it was Rubeus Hagrid who had freed the muggle-born killing beast, how although she felt that it could not be Hagrid, she felt a sense of relief when he was expelled, when all the attacks had stopped. 

 And of course it was Tom Riddle who caught him. And of course it just made her admire him more and more. 

 But she would keep her distance. She’d admire him from afar. She couldn’t begin to imagine the torment Tiernan would put her through if he found out she liked Tom Riddle. 

 “Yes! Looks like we’re invited, Mulciber,” Avery exclaimed, pumping his fist. Tiernan rolled his eyes at his friends, “you’re invited every year,” he replied, just as Tom entered the Great Hall, and they fell into silence as he approached. 

 She could see Tom over the tops of the heads of the Hufflepuffs in front of her, and she slowly sat up to get a better look. That was when Tom blinked up and she swore their eyes met, just for a moment, before he settled down into his seat, disappearing behind the heads of the other Hogwarts students. She felt herself flush as she hunched over her plate again, a small smile creeping onto her face. 

 “My Lord,” Tiernan Lestrange nodded as Tom settled himself between him and Liam Mulciber. Tom nodded in acknowledgement as he placed a few pieces of chicken onto his plate, and Tiernan’s gaze flickered from him to the rolled parchment in his lap. “My mother sent an owl,” he said, and Tom hummed in reply, nodding. Still, he said nothing. 

 Tiernan shifted in his seat and cleared his throat, and Tom, with his eyes slightly narrower than before, peered up at him, waiting for him to say whatever it was he wanted to say. Tiernan turned pink beneath Tom’s stare, and he presented the letter to him, Tom’s dark eyes flicking down to the inky black words on the scroll. 

 “My family, we… we hold a Christmas party every year,” he said, and when Tom glanced back up at him, he flushed again. “And you would’ve been invited! But it’s only for the oldest pure-blood families, and, well…” Tiernan trailed off when he saw the shadow looming over Tom’s already dark gaze, and Mulciber and Avery shifted in their seats uncomfortably. 

 Tiernan cleared his throat again, “but I’ve been speaking very highly of you to my mother. She wants you to come,” he said, his lips curving into a smile. Tom pressed his tongue against the inside of his cheek as he stared back up at Lestrange, handing back the parchment. “Yes, I know. I can read, Tiernan,” Tom said sternly, and Tiernan clawed at his knees to prevent himself from trembling. 

 “Yes… well…” Lestrange said shakily as he rolled back up the parchment, slipping it inside one of his pockets. “…I’d really love it if you come. We’ll all be there— me, Avery, Mulciber, Rosier, Dolohov, Nott— and our families too, so you can meet them all!”

 Tom took a bite out of one of the chicken wings on his plate, placing it back down before wringing a napkin between his hands, gesturing towards Lestrange’s robes with his head. “Who is your mother referring to when she speaks of ‘the Girl?’” He asked, and heat crept back into Tiernan’s cheeks until they glowed scarlet. “Oh, you know… my sister…” he muttered, and Tom’s brow furrowed. “Why wouldn’t she refer to her daughter by name?” Tom questioned, turning his body to fully face Tiernan, his interest piqued. “What does she mean by she ‘cannot have any more of her kind in the house?’”

 The other boys leaned in to hear what Tiernan would say next, and he knew now that there was no way to get out of this. He’d have to tell the truth not only to his friends, but to his Lord. 

 “Forgive me, my Lord, for asking this of you,” Tiernan hung his head and muttered lowly towards Tom. “But I must ask that you promise you won’t tell another soul about this. This goes for all of you, too,” he said towards Tom and the rest of their group. Lestrange gazed into each of their eyes and held contact for a moment with each, to make it known that he was serious. 

 Tom shrugged, “I promise.”

 Tiernan inhaled a shaky breath, before finally saying, “she… as you know, is not my sister,” he began. “And she’s not pure-blood, either. She’s a mudblood.”

 Mulciber, Avery, and the others all leaned closer and broke into a sea of murmurs, “that sure explains a lot. But a mudblood? In the Lestrange family?” Tom remained silent as he stared at Lestrange, beckoning for him to continue. “Her filthy muggle parents left her on our doorstep after she was born. My mother and father took her in purely out of the goodness of their hearts,” Tiernan sat up and stuck out his chest proudly. “And they kept her, even when they learned where she came from. So you see now why she never comes to the party. Mother always tells guests she’s never home for the party anyways.”

 The boys all laughed and ridiculed her while Tom, again, remained silent, staring absentmindedly down at his plate. He wasn’t sure what to think, how to feel. All this time he’d spent watching her, only catching glimpses of her from afar when he felt a gaze on him, watching as she turned away whenever she saw him with Tiernan and the others. 

 All this time he secretly lusted after her, the outcast of her family, the black sheep of the family. All this time he felt some sort of connection to her, all this time he felt he could relate to her because he, too, felt like an outcast. The outcast of the orphanage he grew up in, the outcast of the Gaunt family, the outcast of his muggle father’s family. 

 Tom Riddle never belonged anywhere, but he belonged here, at Hogwarts. And he knew she felt the same. 

 But would things change now that he knew she was muggle-born? Should he feel disgusted with himself now for ever thinking of pursuing her, for ever thinking of taking her in whichever way he pleased? Was it wrong of him to still lust for her, to still think of having his way with her? 

 Tom was clever but this, this he wasn’t sure of. 

 “So where has she been hiding during the parties?” Liam Mulciber asked, and Tiernan Lestrange snickered. “Mother and father force her up into her room. Says they’ll punish her accordingly if they hear even the smallest of noises coming from her room,” he replied, the boys erupting into another fit of snickers. Tom was still silent as he stared at his plate— he suddenly didn’t feel like eating. 

 The next day, she and a group of other Hogwarts students waiting to go home for the holidays gathered at Hogsmeade station, waiting for the arrival of the train. She snuck glances over to where Tiernan and his friends stood together, Tom in the middle of them all. She flushed and turned away when his head began to turn, and she moved to hide herself behind a few of her fellow Hufflepuffs, safe away from Tom Riddle’s view. 

 The train’s whistle echoed as the train emerged, slowing down to a stop before them. She dared gaze back over to where Tiernan stood with his friends as she waited for the doors to open, and when she did, Tom was no longer looking her way. She let herself stare for a little moment longer before she felt someone tap her shoulder, and blinked at the Hufflepuff girl in front of her with brown skin and shoulder length black hair she recognized as Clara Wingrave. 

 “Are you coming?” Clara asked, a furrow in her brow. She blinked and nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat back down. “Yes, sorry Clara,” she mumbled as she followed the Hufflepuff girl onto the train, sliding into the seat opposite the one Clara chose. She sighed as she settled herself into the seat just as footsteps thundered through the train, and she hardly had any time to register what was happening before their compartment door slid open, revealing none other than Tiernan Lestrange, Clarence Avery, and Liam Mulciber, Tom and the other three boys nowhere in sight. 

 Clara narrowed her eyes at their intruders, “hey, go find your own—“

 “Shut it,” Mulciber hissed towards her. “No one allowed you to speak.”

 Clara’s glare hardened as Tiernan leaned down to block his adopted sister’s view, his lips curving into a cheshire grin. Her hands balled into fists, and she suddenly felt the strongest urge to slam them right into that crooked smile of his. 

 “Mother sent the owl this afternoon,” Tiernan muttered, and he needn’t elaborate, for she was already used to the rules she was forced to follow every year during the annual Lestrange Christmas party. “Oh yeah? And let me guess…  I’m not to speak of the party, I’m not to attend the party, I’m to stay up in my room and if I make even the smallest of noises, I’ll be punished accordingly? Is that all?” She asked quietly, so that the girl across from her could not hear. 

 Tiernan scowled and grabbed for her throat, much to Clara’s shock as she shrieked, giving her a firm shake. She pressed her lips closed and gazed into Tiernan’s dark umber eyes as they gleamed with mischief. “You dare give me attitude?” He tsked. “You just wait. I’ll tell mother and father about this and—“

 “—Tiernan? Won’t you leave her alone for Merlin’s sake, the train is about to leave.”

 She along with Clara, Tiernan, and his friends snapped their heads to the open compartment door where the Head Boy now stood, a furrow in his brow. He narrowed his eyes every so slightly, and he looked irritated. She flushed when she saw him and turned away as Tiernan released her, dusting off his clothes. She glimpsed up at him as he turned to leave, not without making sure to flash a dirty look her way over his shoulder before he slid the compartment door closed behind him. 

 “What the hell was that about?” Clara gasped and shook her head in disbelief. “I know it is common for siblings to fight, but that was just absurd.”

 She shook her head as she shifted in her seat, gazing out the window as the train began to move, and Hogsmeade station grew further and further away until it disappeared altogether. 

 “He’s not my brother.”

 The train ride back to King’s Cross Station seemed to go by quicker than usual, much to her dismay. She wished she could stay on the train forever rather than have to go back to living with the Lestranges, and wished that she had an invisibility cloak so that she could hide and be on her way back to Hogwarts within the hour. 

 But, since she didn’t, she sighed as she collected her bag with her few belongings and exited her compartment, stepping out of the train and onto Platform 9¾, where her eyes immediately fell upon the Mother and the Father where they stood, eyes narrowed when they fell upon their muggle-born adopted daughter. She huffed as she made her way over to them, standing beside the Mother with a considerable amount of distance between them. 

 “Where is my son?” The Mother asked through gritted teeth, and she shrugged her shoulders. “He and his friends should be getting off soon,” she replied, not daring to turn to look at the Mother. Sure enough, almost as soon as she finished saying it, there stepped out Tiernan and his friends, Tom Riddle close behind. The other boys left to greet their own parents, but Tiernan and Tom made their way over to where she stood beside the Lestranges, and she flushed. 

 Why was Tom coming over here?

 “Tiernan,” the Mother smiled, drawing her son into her chest for a hug. “And you must be… Tom, is that right? Hogwarts’ Head Boy?”

 She glanced over to where Tom stood, a charming smile plastered his face and she could feel heat creep back up her neck. She turned away from him before he could catch her staring.

 “It is nice to meet you, Mr and Mrs Lestrange,” Tom greeted them, shaking Mr Lestrange’s hand and giving the top of Mrs Lestrange’s a polite kiss. “Oh!” Mrs Lestrange giggled. “I like this one. The manners!”

 Tom flashed his best smile but snuck a glimpse over to where the Lestranges adopted daughter stood, her arms crossed over herself as she looked anywhere but at him. He eyed her up and down just as Mrs Lestrange clutched either of his forearms, and he was forced to tear his attention away from the girl behind her.

 “Tiernan here tells me you’re from the orphanage?” Mrs Lestrange asked and Tiernan felt like shriveling away beside Tom. Tom only nodded in reply to which Mrs Lestrange tutted, “how about this? You’re welcome to come and stay with us for the holidays. We’d be delighted to have you.”

 She froze at this and her lips fell agape with the intent to protest, but nothing came out. She knew nothing she said would matter anyways, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle being around Tom for the entirety of the holidays. She’d been comfortable leaving him at a safe distance away from her at school, but now she’d have to deal with seeing him at the Lestranges? She simply wouldn’t be able to trust herself being around him for so long. 

 “Thank you for your hospitality,” Tom beamed as Mrs Lestrange fussed over him, leading him away from the platform, and she, the Father, and Tiernan followed close behind. Tiernan made a point of ramming his shoulder into her every once in a while, and it took everything within her to control herself, to not shout or push him away. The Father saw this was happening but did nothing to stop it. 

 It wasn’t longer before they finally entered the Leaky Cauldron and made their way to the fireplace, and they each grabbed a handful of Floo Powder. The Father went first, then Mrs Lestrange, and Tiernan before it was down to her and Tom. It occurred to her that this was the first time they had ever been alone together, and she forced herself to look away as he stepped into the fireplace. 

 Tom was no stranger to her shy nature. He tilted his head to try and get a better look at her, watching as she peeked over at him only to find he was staring, and looked away again. He smiled, exclaimed “Lestrange Manor!” and he was gone, leaving her alone. 

 Soon, she too was back in the Lestrange Manor, and she nearly ran into Tom where he stood just before the fireplace. Her palms instinctively fell onto his back to find her balance, and oh, how she felt she’d explode where she stood. 

 It was the first time she had ever touched Tom, and she truly did not expect him to be so warm. Tom glanced back over his shoulder when he felt her hands on him and swiftly stepped out of her way, feeling her touch lingering on his back where she had touched him. Something ignited within him at that touch, and every doubt he had about still wanting to pursue her seemed to fray away. 

 He wanted her. 

 “Welcome to our home!” The Mother exclaimed with a smile as she dusted off the shoulder of Tom’s coat where some ash had fallen, letting her palms soothe back down all the way to his elbows. “Tiernan will show you where you will be staying. Feel free to make yourself at home.”

 She began to follow Tiernan and Tom as they headed for the staircase leading to the next level, but just before she could, the Mother grabbed her by the elbow and tugged her backwards to face her and the Father. She scowled down at her adopted daughter as soon as she made certain Tom was out of sight and leaned down until they were eye level. 

 “Listen to me, girl, and listen to me good,” the Mother said lowly. “You are to be on your best behavior while we have a guest in the home. You are to stay up in your room for the holidays except for meals, do you understand me, girl?”

 She blinked— normally, she’d hate the fact that she had to stay up in her room all hours of the day, but instead, she felt relief surge through her. At least she wouldn’t have to see Tom, at least she wouldn’t make a fool out of herself in front of him. 

 “Yes, Madam Lestrange,” she said as the Mother released her elbow, and the Father stepped forward, leaning down to eye level.

 “And you mustn’t leave your room under any circumstances during the party tomorrow evening,” he muttered. “If I hear even the smallest of sounds coming from your bedroom, I will punish accordingly and do understand, I will not show mercy.”

 She heard this rule every year, but still to this day, the way the Father threatened her sent chills down her spine. “Yes, Mr Lestrange,” she nodded and when the Father waved her off, she walked as fast as she could towards the stairs, practically sprinting up the steps and down the hallway until she finally reached her bedroom. 

 Tom and the rest of the Lestranges were already in the dining room when she finally bounded down the steps, and he could tell Mr and Mrs Lestrange were using all the self restraint they had within them to not blow up at her, most likely for his sake. He watched as she sat down across the table from where he and Tiernan sat, carefully only placing a small selection of food onto her plate. 

 He glanced back over to where Mr Lestrange sat on one end of the long dining table before looking over at Mrs Lestrange on the other end. Neither paid her any attention, or showed any intention of speaking to her. She didn’t seem to want to talk either. 

 “So, Tom, Tiernan tells me you’re exceptional at Defense Against the Dark Arts,” Mr Lestrange said, shaking Tom from his thoughts. He forced a small smile as he nodded, wiping his hands on his napkin. “Yes, actually, I wish to become Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher one day.”

 She listened as she finished her dinner as quickly as she could, but she didn’t stick around to hear the rest of Tom’s story. She gazed over at the Mother who only nodded that she may be excused before she gathered her plate and hurried off to the kitchen where the Lestranges house elf cleaned. 

 “Thank you for the food, Gimbel,” she nodded at the house elf who only nodded back as she set her dirty plate on the pile of unclean dishes the house elf had stacked on the countertop. She hurried back upstairs where she shut herself in her room, sighing as she fell onto her mattress. 

 All she had left to endure was breakfast tomorrow morning, and she’d be free of seeing Tom for the rest of the day. She rested her arm over her eyes, her heart beating against her chest. She couldn’t believe the boy she’s been pining after since her first year is in her house, staying in only a few rooms down from hers. How she wished she could talk to him, to treat him like a guest rather than act like he wasn’t even there at all. 

 She even, for a moment, wished she was a true member of the Lestrange family, so that she could be treated as an equal. 

 Tom hardly saw her for breakfast the next morning, for as soon as he and Tiernan had entered the dining room, she was seemingly finished with her food, and once again scurried off towards the kitchen as she did the night before. Tiernan scoffed when he saw this as they took their seats on one side of the long dining table, loading their plates with biscuits and bacon and eggs. 

 “I apologize for her… strange behavior, my Lord,” Tiernan muttered to home as Tom took a sip of milk. “She’s always like this, you see.” Tom didn’t care to listen to whatever else Tiernan had to say about his adopted sister. Tom had already made up his mind about her, it was how he’d find the chance to talk to her that was the problem. 

 She seemed to avoid him like the plague, and he knew he more than likely wouldn’t be seeing her at all the rest of the day, since the Lestranges locked her in her room while they hosted their party. Tom was clever, so surely he’d be able to find a way around it?

 But as the time for the party to begin approached, he still came up with nothing. He had no excuse for wanting to see her, and with Tiernan practically breathing down his neck, he hadn’t any chance of sneaking away any time soon. He wasn’t even sure if he’d be able to see her at all when the party began and Avery, Mulciber, Rosier, Dolohov, and Nott all came rushing towards him and Lestrange. He had no space absolutely no space and no time to sneak away. 

 “Don’t worry,” Lestrange was saying to his friends. “The mudblood is upstairs in her bedroom. Won’t be coming out at all tonight, that one.” The boys snickered as they called her names and made jokes about her, but Tom wasn’t listening. Even though it seemed as if all hope of seeing her tonight was lost, he was still thinking of every possible excuse he could come up with to sneak away. 

 But fortunately, he wouldn’t have to contemplate for much longer. 

 “Blast,” Lestrange cursed, feeling around his pockets. Clarence Avery furrowed his eyebrows as he watched his friend, the others soon joining in. “What is it?” Liam Mulciber asked as Lestrange emptied each of his pockets, coming up with nothing. “Left my damn wand in my room,” Lestrange muttered, and Tom perked at this. Lestrange turned to Tom and stepped closer to murmur close to his ear, “forgive me for asking you of this, my Lord, but I simply do not trust the others. Will you go upstairs and retrieve my wand for me? I can’t go upstairs, mother and father said I need to stay down here.”

 If Tom was the type, he’d laugh and jump up and down at the request. All day he had been trying to come up with some sort of excuse to slip away from the party, and now he finally had one. He cleared his throat and nodded, “of course,” he said to Lestrange before making his way over towards the staircase, but he did not stop at Tiernan’s bedroom door as he passed. 

 Instead, he walked a little further down the Lestranges upstairs hallway, stopping at the last door on the left where she was, the black wooden door the only thing separating him from her now. Tom raised a fist to the door and knocked, and for a moment, it was silent on the other side. 

 Who could possibly be knocking at her door?

 She knew it could not be any of the Lestranges, for they would’ve just burst through the door without any respect for her privacy anyways. It couldn’t be Gimbel either, the house elf never came to her room. She grew weary as she closed her book and set it down on the mattress beside her, clearing her throat before murmuring a low, “come in.”

 She watched as the handle to her door twisted and it swung open, and when she saw who was standing there in her doorway, she felt as if all the air had been knocked from her lungs. She’d only ever dreamed of Tom Riddle being in her bedroom, but never before did she actually think he’d really come in here. 

 But there he was. There Tom Riddle stood, closing the door behind him and turning to gaze at her where she sat on her bed, his eyes entrancing as they were dark. Even from across the room, his irises seemed to pull her in like they were magnets and she was metal, and she lost herself further and further into his soul…

 “Forgive me,” Tom said, and she blinked. Those were the first words she had ever heard him direct towards her. “I would not usually barge into a lady’s room like this.”

 Fire raged across her skin, up her neck, and to her cheeks until they were seared with flame. She suddenly had the strongest urge to open the window, wondering if she had broken into a sweat yet or not. 

 She blinked again, and the corner of Tom’s lips curved into a soft smile. He knew he already had her wrapped around his finger. 

 “Your brother thought he left something in here,” he said, gesturing towards her desk against the far wall of the room. “May I?” 

 She could not think of anything Tiernan could have possibly left in her room, but she wouldn’t dare question Tom, so instead she nodded, and she watched as he strode across the room, opening her desk drawers and sifting through its contents. 

 Of course, Tom wasn’t searching for anything. But she needn’t know that yet. 

 “Hm,” Tom hummed, closing the drawers he had opened and turning to face her again, leaning back against the wooden desk. “Perhaps, your brother was mistaken.”

 She felt small underneath Tom’s gaze, and she felt as though she could curl herself into a ball right now and shrivel away. But instead she sat still on her bed, unable to speak, unable to move. Tom chuckled and she pinched her bottom lip between her teeth, mentally cursing herself for being so shy. Typical Hufflepuff, she could imagine her adopted brother sneering. 

 “You know, you should really join the party,” Tom said, hoping to break the ice between them. She soothed the skin of her arms with her palms and rubbed at her elbows, shaking her head. “The Mother and the Father won’t let me attend,” she managed to speak at last, and she gulped down the lump in her throat. 

 Although Tom already knew the answer, he still tilted his head, feigning curiosity. “Why is that?” He asked, and she swallowed again, forcing back down the truth. She dropped her head and shrugged, “because I’m different.”

 Tom blinked, and he suddenly felt like he was ten years old again, still living at the orphanage he grew up in. For over ten years, he grew up unlike all the other children, and even at an early and young age, he knew that he was different. It wasn't until Albus Dumbledore came to visit him that he finally understood why he felt this way. 

 It was different in her case, because at least she knew why she was different. But they were still treated the same, like they were misfits, rejects, outcasts. It was then that he understood the connection he felt towards her with a different meaning, that he first noticed this string tethering them together. 

 They had both been lost before, but just like he had found himself, she could be found too. Tom could be the one to find her, for he seemed to be the only one who understood her. 

 Tom’s footsteps permeated her bedroom as he made his way over towards her bed, setting himself down on the mattress beside her. She flinched when she felt the bed dip beneath his weight, and it was then that it occurred to her just how close he was. 

 They had never ever been this close before. 

 “Why are you different?” He asked, gazing down at her as she peered up, their eyes meeting closer than they ever have before. For a moment she said nothing, only continued to lose herself further in the dark depths of the treacherous caverns that were his eyes. He studied her— her eyes, her eyebrows, her nose, her cheeks, her chin, her lips. 

 It was no secret that she was beautiful, even Tom could admit that. But she was vulnerable, it was clear the moment Tom met her eyes again. And Tom could work with vulnerability. 

 “Well…” she trailed off, contemplating how much she should tell him. Tom’s fingers grazed against her knee and she trembled, her eyes flicking down to his hand and back up to his face. “You can tell me,” Tom said warmly. “You can tell me anything.”

 She blinked. Never before had she heard those words. Nobody has ever wanted to hear her story before, for they all thought they already knew it all by now. She was the child who was left on the Lestranges doorstep as a baby, the child the Lestranges took in to ‘raise as their own’ because they just couldn’t bear giving such a young girl away since they were so kindhearted. 

 So never had she ever thought she’d be given the chance to tell someone about herself, to let someone read her story. But there was something about Tom, and she felt like she could trust him. 

 “I’m… I was left on their doorstep as a baby,” she began, and Tom nodded, encouraging her to continue. “I was… I am muggle-born…” she trailed off, wincing as she searched Tom’s face for disgust, but he didn’t even recoil. He only gazed at her with that same patient stare, waiting for her to keep going. 

 So she did. 

 “They hate me for it,” she added. “For having dirty blood. I’m not sure why they kept me, I could’ve been a Squib or not even a witch at all for that matter. Thankfully, I got my Hogwarts letter when Tiernan did.” She wrung her hands together in her lap, Tom’s warmth drawing her even closer to him. “It certainly didn’t help that I wasn’t sorted into Slytherin.”

 She swallowed the lump in her throat back down again, and Tom let his palm rest on her knee again, his touch warm, like a kiss from the sun itself. She felt relaxed when he touched her, despite how nervous she actually was inside. 

 “They treat me… so bad,” she whispered. “They treat me like I’m nothing.”

 Her voice wavered before it broke, and when it was clear that she wouldn’t be able to continue, the hand that had previously been resting on her knee retreated so that it may instead reach her face. Gently, he gripped her chin between his thumb and forefinger and forced her face up to his, her teary eyes searching his for something, anything she could hold onto. Warmth, comfort, reassurance, hope, anything. 

 So Tom would tell her what she wanted to hear. 

 “You are not nothing,”  Tom murmured, and her lip quivered the longer she stared at him. “You are somebody. Don’t let them take that feeling away from you.”

 She blinked and her brow softened, her vision blurring with tears. She was somebody. Tom Riddle thought she was somebody. 

 And somehow, that seemed to be all she needed to hear. 

 A silence ensued and they only gazed deeper into one another’s eyes. With the grip still on her chin, he drew her near and he leaned down to meet her halfway, his lips pressing against hers softly, as tenderly as he could. He felt the way she shuddered under his touch, as if his kiss was a tranquilizer, and she was becoming limp and pliant, all for him. 

 So he kissed her deeper, he kissed her harder. His tongue was warm in her mouth as she let him reign dominance over her own, her hands shaking as one cupped the side of his face and the other grabbed his bicep. 

 This was what Tom Riddle had been fantasizing about for years. To have her compliant beneath him, to have her completely under his control. He loved how easy it was, how easy it was to have her. Although he’d admit, this connection he felt towards her was growing, and it was growing at an alarming rate. As he pushed her down onto the mattress and trailed his kisses down from her lips to her jaw, he found that his heart burned, as if she had set it aflame, and this feeling was foreign to him. 

 He had no idea what this tenderness he felt was, whether he dared call it love or not. For eighteen years, he was under the impression that he couldn’t love, that love simply just wasn’t in the cards for him, and he was completely okay with that. 

 But this feeling, whatever it was he felt for her, came unexpectedly, and he was unsure whether or not he should embrace it or push it away. 

 For now, he worked at unbuttoning her blouse as he sucked marks into her neck, his tongue swirling around her collarbone. 

 She pressed her lips together to contain her noises as Tom slipped her blouse from her shoulders and down her arms, discarding it down onto the floor altogether. He made quick work of her brassiere, his lips previously kissing her collarbone venturing down between the valley of her breasts, sucking marks onto either mounds of flesh. 

 “T… Tom,” she mewled as he pressed a kiss to one of her nipples, kneading her opposite breast with his palm. He hummed in reply, gazing up at her through hooded lids as he sucked the erect bud, releasing it with a wet pop before doing the same to the other. She squirmed beneath him and squeezed her eyes shut, arching her back up off of the mattress. “T… Tom, I… they will punish me if they hear me.”

 Tom smirked against her skin as he released her nipple from his mouth and kissed down her stomach, past her belly button, all the way to the hem of her skirt. He pushed himself up by the elbows as he hooked his fingers over the hem, beginning to tug them down her thighs. 

 “Then I suggest you stay quiet,” he said simply as he removed her skirt from her ankles, her panties soon joining the sea of clothes on the floor as well. 

 She sank her teeth down into her bottom lip so hard when he placed a kiss just above her aching clit, she feared she’d draw blood. Tom eyed her through his hooded stare as he teasingly dipped his tongue past her folds, testing the waters. He watched as her face scrunched and she kicked her legs, arching her back at just the simplest of touches. 

 So eager, he thought. 

 He soothed her stomach with one of his palms as he pecked her clit, watching the way she trembled and writhed, whining behind closed lips, silent pleading for more. Tears broke past the glossy barrier of her eyes and began to spill down her cheeks like crystals, and he smirked as he pressed his lips down against her heat, sucking her clit as it throbbed and ached to be touched. 

 She threw her hands down on the mattress on either side of her, her fingernails clawing at the sheets as he flicked his tongue up and down her slit, humming at the taste of her nectar on his tongue. She tried to watch as he lapped up the juices spilling down her folds before flicking his tongue against her bud again, but she couldn’t even hold herself up, much less keep her eyes open for longer than a few seconds. 

 “P… please,” she mewled quietly as one of her hands ventured down between her legs to grip at his hair, and she ground her hips against his face, eager for more. That was when Tom stopped and pried her hand away from his head, and she blinked up at him through her bleary eyes. 

 “Do you want to come?” He asked as he unbuttoned his shirt, shouldering it off of him and tossing it to the floor with the rest of the discarded clothes. She gaped at the sight of his chest, but he grabbed her face again and forced her to look at him, squishing her cheeks between his thumb and forefinger. “I expect you to answer me when I ask you a question.”

 She trembled and felt her walls clench at his words, nodding up and down. “Yes. Yes please,” she whimpered as he tore his hand away from her face to work on his belt, tossing it and his trousers away until he stood before her completely in the nude, in all of his glory. 

 He was beautiful. And he was already beautiful to begin with but this, she never could have even imagined how he looked underneath the clothes. He wasn’t muscular or built like a statue or even a Quidditch player, but still, his arms and torso were toned, and his cock…

 She could feel her patience slipping away the longer he kept her waiting. She watched as he took a hold of his cock and stared down at her, maintaining eye contact as he gave himself a few pumps, his other hand absentmindedly stroking up and down her slick. She bit down onto her lip as she gazed up at him, watching him in anticipation for what was to come next. 

 Tom leaned back down to her face and captured her lips with his, unable to resist the temptation any longer. He kissed her again and again and again as he slipped inside of her, her moans muffled by his mouth on hers. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his shoulders and dug her fingernails into his skin, etching crescent moons into his flesh. Tom broke their kiss and let his forehead drop onto hers as he rocked his hips into her, slowly at first. One of her hands slithered to cup the back of his neck as tears streamed down the sides of her face, never feeling this good in all her years. 

 Tom let his gaze fall upon her face again, her eyelids squeezed shut but her face scrunched in pleasure, every once in a while muffling her sounds by pressing her face into his shoulder. He began to thrust harder than before, her legs wrapping around his waist and squeezing, beckoning him further inside of her. So he fucked her harder, and harder and harder and harder as if he intended to break her, to shatter her into a million pieces. 

 And maybe that was the goal all along. 

 Never has Tom felt this good, never had he felt so intoxicated by another person, and never did he believe he could be so attached to someone else before. Part of him hated it, part of him wanted to throw it away and stomp on it and set it on fire. 

 But the other part of him embraced it, another part of him felt powerful as he fucked into her with reckless abandon, powerful having someone underneath his control. He never imagined another person could feel so good, he never imagined someone else could make him feel so infinite. As far as he was concerned, he was doing just fine on his own. 

 But this was different. This was on a whole other level of power. He felt strong, even when she clenched around him and gushed around his cock, even when he felt himself so close to the edge, so close to releasing himself for another person. 

 He pushed away from from her and groped her chest with one hand, holding onto her shoulder with the other as he fucked her harder than before, without a care for how much noise they were making. He’d make it up to the Lestranges, he’d go down and tell them it was him making all the noise, it wasn’t like they’d punish him. 

 For now, he focused on chasing his release, on the way she felt around him, on the way he was so close to climax he could practically taste it. She sobbed beneath him and her lips fell agape with the intent of screaming his name but he clapped his hand around her mouth before she could as he thrusted again and again and again until finally he released, and warmth surged through her. 

 Tom’s chest heaved and he fell on top of her as she cried, motionless beneath him. Sweat made her skin glisten and tears made her cheeks swollen and sticky, but he found that he admired her all the same. 

 This warmth in his chest was new, and it was a feeling he couldn’t quite place or put a finger on. But if whatever it was could make him feel like he was on top of the world, like he was the most powerful being on this Earth, like he was infinite…

 …then surely he could learn to embrace it. 

a/n; oop this is the longest imagine i’ve ever written 🙈 thank you so much for the request anon! i wrote this one up pretty fast because i really liked the idea, it definitely wasn’t stupid! so i hope this is close to what you’ve been imagining!! and feel free to send in more requests if you’d like! i love writing requests!

| 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 |

@darkmoviesquotespizza 🥹🫶

[darkstar225]

Sick Spider-Girl ft Wanda Maximoff and Natasha Romanoff

The Avengers Tower was bathed in a soft, dim light as the sun dipped below the New York skyline. In one of the rooms, Y/N Parker lay in bed, a silhouette against the pale glow. The room was quiet, except for the occasional muted sounds of the city below.

Y/N, known as Spider-Girl, was usually full of energy and vitality. However, tonight was different. The fever that had gripped her was relentless, leaving her feeling weak and achy. She curled under the blankets, shivering despite the warmth in the room. Her thoughts were foggy, and every move she made seemed to take a monumental effort.

Down the hall, in the living room, the air was thick with tension. Wanda Maximoff and Natasha Romanoff, two powerful and formidable women, were locked in a silent battle of wills. It was a fight that neither seemed willing to concede, even for the sake of the person lying sick in the other room.

Y/N had sensed the tension earlier, and it hurt more than any fever. The strained glances, the clipped words, it was all too familiar. The three of them were a makeshift family, brought together by circumstance and choice. Y/N, Wanda, and Natasha had shared laughter, tears, and battles, but tonight, the air was heavy with unspoken words.

In the quiet of her room, Y/N tossed and turned. She wasn't just sick physically, the emotional toll was equally overwhelming. She wished she could intervene, and smooth things over between Wanda and Natasha, but her body refused to cooperate.

The distant murmur of their voices reached her ears, the rise and fall of argument that she couldn't quite make out. Y/N groaned, a pitiful sound muffled by the pillow. She wanted them to stop, to come in and check on her, but pride held her back.

As the verbal skirmish escalated in the living room, Y/N's stubbornness kicked in. She couldn't stand being a burden, especially in their current state of discord. Ignoring the protesting ache in her body, she swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

The floor felt unsteady beneath her feet as she stood. The younger girl clutched the edge of the dresser, trying to steady herself. Her vision blurred, and she wobbled, but she pressed on. She couldn't let them see her weakness, not now.

The argument in the living room had reached a crescendo when Y/N, determined but frail, stumbled out of her room. She moved silently down the corridor, hoping they wouldn't notice her. Yet, every step felt like an eternity, and the distance between her and the living room seemed insurmountable.

Just as Y/N reached the threshold of the living room, the door swung open, revealing the formidable figures of Wanda and Natasha. Their eyes widened in surprise as they took in Y/N's pale, feverish form.

Natasha - Y/N!  What are you doing out of bed?

Natasha's voice was a mix of concern and irritation.

Y/N - I'm fine. Just needed some air.

Y/N replied, her voice shaky but defiant. 

Wanda's eyes, however, were sharp. She stepped forward, reaching out to steady Y/N, but the teenage girl brushed her off. 

Y/N - I can take care of myself.

The tension in the room thickened. Y/N's stubbornness clashed with Wanda and Natasha's concern. The air crackled with unresolved emotions. Unbeknownst to all, the atmosphere held a combustible mixture that would soon explode.

Ignoring their worried glances, Y/N shuffled toward the living room door. The distant sound of the city seemed to call her. She needed space, a moment away from the suffocating presence of the people she cared about most.

As Y/N stepped into the living room, a sudden wave of dizziness swept over her. The world tilted, and for a moment, she felt weightless. Panic set in, but before she could react, everything went dark.

In the living room, Wanda and Natasha froze. The silence after Y/N's thud on the floor was deafening. Fear gripped them as they rushed to her side. Wanda's hands glowed with scarlet energy, ready to assess the situation.

Natasha - Y/N! 

Natasha's voice trembled as she tried to wake the fallen hero. Wanda's magic gently probed for signs of life.

A groan escaped Y/N's lips as consciousness flickered back. Wanda and Natasha sighed in relief, their earlier conflict momentarily forgotten. Y/N's eyes fluttered open, confusion and vulnerability shining in them.

Y/N - What happened? 

She mumbled, disoriented.

Wanda - You fainted. 

Wanda answered, her voice a mix of worry and relief.

Natasha brushed a strand of hair from Y/N's forehead. 

Natasha - You scared us, honey.

A sheepish smile played on Y/N's lips. 

Y/N - Guess I'm not as invincible as I thought.

Wanda and Natasha shared a glance, the unspoken tension still lingering. But at that moment, the priority was clear: taking care of Y/N. Wanda conjured a damp cloth, gently placing it on Y/N's forehead.

Natasha - You need to rest. 

Natasha said, her sternness softened by concern.

Y/N nodded with a rare vulnerability in her eyes. 

Y/N - Yeah, I guess I do.

As Wanda and Natasha helped Y/N back to bed, a silent understanding passed between them. The fight, the unspoken words, it could wait. Right now, they had a sick family member to take care of, and that took priority over everything else.

In the quiet of the room, as Y/N drifted into a restless sleep, the weight of their makeshift family hung in the air. There would be time for conversations and resolutions, but for now, they would stand together, united by the unbreakable bond forged through battles, laughter, and, most importantly, shared concern for one another.

[evanescewriting]

"i can see all the colors"

above me they are shining and finally, I can see all the colors that surround me.

CONTENT: Vague descriptions of injury, descriptions of character death, potentially disturbing sensory (rotting corpse smell mentioned, etc.) comforting character death (for Curly), regret (for Anya’s situation), j***y is not named (🖕) SYNOPSIS: Captain Curly gets a glimpse of the universe outside the foamed up walls of the drifting Tulpar. AUTHOR'S NOTE: mouthwashing folks how are we feeling about that ending

In the end,

no one came.

No one came to free him from the cryopod. No one came to free the bodies scattered around the ship - no one to bring them home. Or for that one, dead, rotting pixel he had no choice but to now see - no one to throw him out into the endless universe like trash.

It was just him.

The bodies.

The tulpar.

And the cryopod he wasn’t meant for.

God, if one could hear him this far from Earth, he would give anything, anything, to be a captain worthy of that honor. Anything to go back in time, pick up the pieces of his sense he let fall to his feet, shattering and cutting him and all that once stood around and with him. And how they bled. How they bled so much that he thought, perhaps, the crimson beneath his feet was a red carpet that marked his glory. His leadership.

Perhaps this was punishment.

To want to give everything to go back as you freeze in a pod, slowly, slowly dying with no one to come save you.

A captain always goes down with his ship.

He wishes he could close his eyes - burning from dryness, and the cold. Perhaps this was punishment too. For not seeing. Now, all he could do was see. He felt as if he had been stripped away of everything. Gone were the skin and limbs. Leaving only behind the most vulnerable, most human mechanisms in his body. To see. To hear. To create sounds of pain, sadness, and desperation. He was a canvas of red - a tiny splotch of blue amongst the various crimson shades. Scaled small on the canvas, but within it so much knowledge. So many things that had finally been seen.

Time stretches by so slowly.

It rakes its nails across him and his ship. Chipping away at resolve and cleaning the remnants of sanity from his mind.

And still,

no one comes.

His ship is failing. His body is failing. What was it, that saying he had thought of not long ago as he considered his punishment? Ah- a captain always goes down with his ship. Well, Captain Curly was going down with his ship.

And his crew.

They are rotting. He is rotting.

And how long had it been, counting his time through the days, hours, and seconds that had gone by since he was.. not this. He felt that he had become something more. Something different. But truly - he was still himself, wasn’t he? The crash had changed him, of course, but isn’t that similar to the process of a sudden metamorphosis? It felt more burden than butterfly - but what if there were still the remnants of the caterpillar in him? Would it be somehow possible to call upon them? To use the skills from the past and translate them to something he could do now?

Yes - yes he thinks perhaps he could. He could call upon them. Use the strength of this form to deliver the most powerful something of all. Do something so very caterpillar (human) while being so butterfly (in his view, not human).

In this freezing, empty chrysalis, he reverts back to his roots, opening his jaw with pain - but that was a familiar thing already - and wheezing out something that only reverberates within the chamber. Echoing down the long hallway of his punishment, lost on the ears of the dead.

“S-S - orry.”

And then no one came.

And then he could not close his eyes.

And then, just before the end, he realized he was neither caterpillar, nor butterfly, nor human, nor anything more or less than that - but maybe, just maybe - he was forgiven.

And then he went down with his ship.

The metal walls and layers of the Tulpar had unraveled itself. All that remained was the exoskeleton of a ship - bones and ribs and skull - drifting through space. One, singular pod still connected to it. Two long dead bodies bound in their infinite voyage.

But maybe that wasn’t true.

Because he feels himself, somehow, come out from the pod - standing just on the edge of the peeling metal. Feet planted impossibly confidently with the absence of gravity.

Beyond death - Captain Curly can still see.

There are so many colors.

Purple, blue, orange, red - a cornucopia of color beyond imagination. Hues and shades the human mind could not even digest. He can see them all before him.

“I think my favorite might be the blues.” There is a voice behind him - sounding different when it lacks timidness.

“Guess mine!” Cheery, useless ray of sunshine that beams so far away from the sun.

“Green.” Straight to the point. But Curly knows that underneath the tone is a fondness for the two.

He can feel them behind him. Eyes turned to the mass of color above.

“Close! It’s pink, Swansea. Me and Anya’s colors make purple.” Daisuke says, and he just knows that maybe he is putting his hands on his hips in a ‘see how greatly that works out?’ motion.

For a moment, silence passes. Comfortable. Peaceful.

“What about you, Captain? What’s your favorite?”

And then he turns - and they are before them.

The crew. The three he should have saved. The three he could not save. The three he failed.

Whatever form he takes now - they stare at him with indifference. Passive curiosity on the simplicity of his favorite enveloped in the beautiful mass, far away from life.

He feels, somewhere within, the feeling of a held in cry or scream that only comes out as a freeing-

“Maybe the yellow. But the pink is nice - so is the blue.”

“Yellow is the best choice.” Swansea voices his agreement as he looks back above him.

“Yeah. Yellow is a good choice, Captain.” And of course, Daisuke’s eyes follow his mentors, even here. Even now.

“Blue is the best choice, though.” Anya says as she joins their gazes lifting back up.

He wants to ask them: was this always just right outside those walls? All these colors he could never see? All these ideas and concepts? All that pain and suffering?

But he knows that they’ll tell him yes, it was. And only now can you see it, Captain.

Only now can you see all the freedom, the relief, the joy, the stars and their colors.

And tell us - tell us when you come to that conclusion, too.

Tell us if you think it is beautiful.

[isagrimorie]

People give Janeway guff about not giving Kazon replicators and transporters. Still, it's proven repeatedly that giving one Kazon faction an advantage over the other would be mixing it up in an internal war that would LITERALLY shift the balance of power.

Klingons at least know the technology they have engineers, even as it's becoming a dying breed over Warriors.

TLDR in Alliance Chakotay and Tuvok convinces Janeway that making an alliance with a Kazon faction is the way to go.

And so she does finally concede on this little experiment but with a lot of reservations going in: That once they leave the infighting will go on, and might actually have been worse.

Tuvok naively thinks it might help and bring about a Federation.

B'Elanna then pushes forward Harry's sarcastic comment about forming an alliance with Seska and then at the first sign of this, Chakotay balks.

And then Janeway says something that I feel is her guiding principle in dealing with hard decisions:

Janeway: "You can't have it both ways Commander. If you want to get in the mud with the Kazon you can't start complaining that you might get dirty."

Again, this is what I love about Janeway -- she gets flack for it but when Janeway makes a decision no one else wants to make it.

As I've mentioned in another post in tags: #right or wrong#i admire how janeway is always the one#who goes#the buck stops with me#she makes the hard choices on voyager#especially during debates#when the staff just goes around and around in circles#like in memorial where she starts just in the background#listening to the senior staff debate#from how janeway started in episode 2 of season 1#where she's presented with the horrific#sophie's choice of neelix dying because he has no lungs#and then subjecting another person to the same fate#to the (now boring debate about tuvix)#to this moment#to the moment on the memorial episode#she will take on that burden#and she will always stare at the hardest choice unflinchingly#because someone has to#as the 12th doctor once said#sometimes all your choices are bad ones#but you still have to choose#

In this episode, she allowed herself to be persuaded but she's not sold on it. But she's letting her crew run with it -- okay so we do this, but if we do this, we commit to it. And yet, at the first uncomfortable decisions... there's already balking. This was Janeway testing the waters if any other person on her senior staff could carry water about making the hard choices.

So far the ones who have stepped up were B'Elanna, Tom, and Neelix.

Anyway, I wish there was more fallout on the whole Kazon vs Trabe conflict because that was actually interesting.

But also Voyager had a Doctor Who problem -- if they meddle in the affairs of a spatial politik, they don't know the repercussions of their actions and just look at Living Witness and the reputation Voyager gained simply by doing a bit of a trade deal.

Voyager can help when they can, see: helping Brenari refugees escape the Devore. (Counterpoint).

But they can't and shouldn't really interfere with internal politics. They're not like DS9 where they can stay in one place and fix things permanently. They're just passing through.

This is also why I think she wasn't really considering Tuvok and Chakotay's thing during the Void episode where they raid another ship's resources. (Also, because after Ransom and Equinox, she knows what faltering in the Federation principles can do).

Crucially, she's also known both Chakotay and Tuvok enough that while she loves them -- Janeway knows neither men have the stomach for their proposals.

The Alliance episode was one example of that already.

Janeway, though, if she is pushed to make that commitment and there was absolutely NO way they can prevent raiding others-- Janeway would have committed to that action 110%. This is why I feel Janeway would actually come to a similar conclusion as Sisko in In the Pale Moonlight.

Especially, if she gets daily reports of Starfleet casualties. I have a feeling, there would be less kicking and screaming when Garak finally does his reveal.

Janeway has rules for a reason. She is fastidious about it. For a reason. Because once she commits to an action, it will take both hell and high water to take her off that course.

/edited

[jiangwanyinscatmom]

Mo Dao Zu Shi and Self-Yearning For Reconciliation

There is an overarching lesson within the writing of MXTX that forgiveness and moving on doesn't entail non-verbal consent for a relationship to be salvaged once more or reclaimed as it used to be.

Within SVSSS, we are given the character of Yue Qingyuan desperately seeking the friendship and brotherhood he had with Shen Jiu. Only for that relationship to be provided by another way of Shen Yuan who finalizes he is not the man Yue Qingyuan needed closure from, but is the only one able to give it for the man to find peace with his own choices.

To a lesser extent this is also shown with the relationship between Xie Lian, Mu Qing and Feng Xin at the end of TGCF. This time though, despite Xie Lian associating with them with no ill will, he does not let either man make choices for him and resoundingly makes his own boundaries aware within the reclamation of their friendship.

MDZS does not offer this reclamation of a friendship or the start of one previously lost with another. Unlike the previous two who did yearn for friendship what was between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian had been a stipulation of burden and assumption that started with Jiang Fengmian. Jiang Cheng was to see Wei Wuxian as a servant made friend when brought in, and Wei Wuxian was protector over friend. There was already a set imbalance due to neither naturally being able to choose the roles within their lives for the other and extending parties stating who and what they were to each other.

Jiang Cheng in his already tenuous esteem with himself and resentment of being told he was already viewed as less from his mother, took Wei Wuxian's existence in his life as a displacement of his own claims within life. His sacrifice of his dogs was the precursor for the beginning of their relationship on the allusion of debts between them.

Jiang Cheng gives up the loyalty of a literal pet, for the loyalty of an eventual man. In other words, I will shelter and protect you in exchange. Jiang Cheng does keep to this as children, with the expense of mocking Wei Wuxian's fears as he is want. His stipulations for this begun to escalate over the years and as such the giving of shelter and safety cannot be made up for Jiang Cheng, forever loyalty is now not enough, but why must Wei Wuxian also be adept at cultivation, why is he to be praised for his deeds more so, why must Wei Wuxian be a bright mind of the war.

If he is to be that, it at least would be overshadowed that he is still only under Jiang Cheng's rule. Otherwise every other action against this, is to demean Jiang Cheng, to oppose him, to cause trouble with ingratitude. It is also why, despite Wen Qing and Wen Ning having sheltered him and Wei Wuxian as well as collected his parents and provided their ashes, Jiang Cheng is able to disregard his obligation to help them. If not for Wei Wuxian's supposed insubordination, Jiang Cheng would not have suffered his own losses. Even when he did protect Wei Wuxian, the loss of it was too much, as with the dogs he had given up as a child, he did not get an active said promise of more dedication made up tenfold for the minimum kindness exhibited by Jiang Cheng. As said by Fang Mengcheng, "Atonement? You cannot actually be feeling grateful to him!”

To want to be good and to protect others, must come with selfish want for exemption of guilt for the harm you have caused. Wen Ning and Wen Qing owed it to Jiang Cheng for the deaths of his parents for carrying the surname of Wen, as such he did not need to repay them. Wei Wuxian sat at the table of the Jiangs and was given a living others would envy, as such he owed his life to Jiang Cheng. Wei Wuxian taking on the burden of protecter of another, was a betrayal of all that Jiang Cheng's lineage had gave him. To do the impossible because it is right, is not worth the self emulation and ridicule of the many. And while he may resent that kindness in Wei Wuxian, for it to be given to others as well, is a lack of loyalty of the ideals of Jiang Cheng. Jiang Cheng's growing resentment of Wei Wuxian's choice of kindness over safety, is a a mirrored resentment that Jiang Cheng holds within himself and his lack of respect for his own Clan ideals. A servant under the lord of the house embodies what Jiang Cheng was born to be.

As he throws abuse upon Wei Wuxian at their penultimate clash, while he does say sorry, he is still unable to view it without the veil of debt owed between each other. As Wei Wuxian could not tell him he gave him his core out of pity for his ego to keep him from shattering, Jiang Cheng could not say he protected Wei Wuxian out of a moment of kindness without care for the consequences until it expounded as his reality.

There is a self soothing mechanism, that opening up to truths will eventually mean a mending of what had been, or the beginning of something better. Yet this is only true when both are open to stand together as equals. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng began with obligation and ended with obligation. The obligation to give for doing, the obligation of sorry for redemption.The obligation of servitude for sacrifice.

To rebuild and start again is meant to be the closure of ill will and the understanding of boundaries that cannot be crossed now. Jiang Cheng can only do one but not the other. He chooses hate for his continued nature, even while he is adamantly protecting Jin Ling by the end. While Wei Wuxian knows that resentment is not something that will create true happiness and nurturing growth that people strive for.

Reconciliation is to come to terms with that which you lacked, and to be more, to be better. Jiang Cheng accepts his core nature of resentment which would not last next to the altruism that Wei Wuxian chooses more than once. Kindness and Resentment cannot coexist at the same time. To resent is to be cruel, to be happy is to be kind. Both men are too tired to understand the other, and why they choose to part as a peace offering, an understanding that they will never thrive with the other.

[heretherebedork]

Kohei and Taichi are stuck in the same place right now because neither one of them knows how to move on. It's not Maya keeping them there, it's not the show, it's two men who don't know how to move forward stuck in the place they started.

Kohei confessed to Taichi but is convinced he cannot ever understand and cannot let himself hope or try again and so has pulled back and stayed pulled back. He is so afraid of being a burden on the people he cares about that he refuses to even try.

Taichi heard the confession, panicked and hasn't gotten past that because he so needs to be needed but is terrified of anything deeper because he doesn't know what else to do. He's so used to being unwanted and out of place that the idea of someone caring about him as him is wild.

They are both people who are used to their own forms of loneliness and who cling to that loneliness as comfort, as a safe place, as a familiar place that they know.

And they are trapped here because that's who they are. They need to be shaken up, they need to be pushed... but neither of them knows how to be pushed.

Maya is pushing them. Apart, yes, but pushing them. Without her, nothing would be changing. Nothing would happen. Because they would both simply continue to... be. They would just keep on being.

I love this show so much because it really is about how easy it is to simply stay in your comfort zone but also how little it takes to push a person out and help them through that transition.

Kohei was so isolated and all it took was Taichi being Taichi to draw him out but Kohei gave Taichi a purpose that he desperately needed and a sense of being needed that he never had before, of being wanted as well.

There's just so much and I love them so very much. And I know the finale will show us what's between them that they've been struggling to face. This is a story about breaking out of the holding patterns you find yourself in and how that intersects with disability and culture and that's why I love them all so much even when I don't like their choices and know they're hurting themselves and others with them.

[coraniaid]

I'm pretty critical of Buffy's final season (because ... well, I've watched it), but there are some things I think it does well and, since I'm trying to talk myself into working on my S7 AU fic again, I thought it might be worth trying to write down what they are.

I like the sense of completeness there is in going back to some of the show's beginnings. I like seeing Buffy in school again, but this time as an adult with a job. It doesn't just let us re-examine the high school years from a new perspective, it gives Buffy's arc over the last few seasons a nice sense of direction. I like what little we see of Dawn in high school. (I wish there were more episodes like Help.) In principle, I even like the fact that this season's Big Bad is a supernatural threat we've seen on the show before.

While I think there are a lot of problems with the execution (and even with the wider concept) of making the First Evil the primary (frequently the only) antagonist, the First being around does give you a lot of possibilities for having characters literally come face to face with their pasts. I like the final scene of Lessons and I like Conversations With Dead People and I like seeing the Mayor on screen again. I wish the show had done more with this concept.

I like meeting new (Potential) Slayers and finding out more about past Slayers. I like Robin Wood. I like Kennedy. (I wish the show did a better job making the audience care about any of the other Potentials.) I like that Faith comes back. I like that there is a focus on what it means to be a Slayer this season (compare how the show opens, with Buffy taking Dawn on patrol and telling her "it's about power..." [which Dawn doesn't have], to the scene in Chosen where Buffy asks the Potentials "what if you could have that power?").

I also (sorry) really like the fact that the writers resisted the urge to make Dawn a Potential or have her suddenly develop any magical powers as a result of being the Key (which there are at least rumours they were talking about doing). I like that the show stuck with the idea that Dawn is the part of Buffy who gets to be an ordinary girl.

For all its flaws (silly CGI battle against monsters I don't care about which is resolved by a random mcguffin from a different show; weird retcon about Sunnydale apparently being inland; a bunch of other unfortunate writing choices I won't get into here) I really do like Chosen a lot. It feels very fitting that the show ends with Buffy both finally getting to leave Sunnydale and with her no longer having to shoulde the burden of being "the" Slayer (or one of only two Slayers, anyway) anymore. I love how open-ended and hopeful that manages to be.

And speaking of Chosen, I like Buffy's "cookie dough" speech. I like the fact that the show lets Buffy end the series single, and recognizing that she doesn't have to be in a serious romantic relationship if she doesn't feel she's ready for one right now. (I like post-S7 Fuffy as a concept a lot, sure, but I think I prefer it as something that neither of them rushes into.)

I like that Amy comes back? I mean, I don't like anything the season does with her, but still: points for remembering she exists, I guess.

I like the fact that Willow gets to grieve Tara but also move on with her life and start dating again. [I don't know if I would have killed Tara off if I was writing S6 -- I think probably not -- but given that Tara did die I think this is the only good option.]

Empty Places is a good .... name for an episode?

For all my (many, many) issues with Andrew Wells this season (and in particular with just how much Andrew Wells is in this season, which is ... a lot), I think Storyteller is ... pretty good? I liked Jonathan, I think it's sad he dies (and his speech about missing high school now that he's left is another good moment from this season) but I wouldn't really have wanted to have him turn up and help save the day either. Having Andrew kill him (and then have to face up to the fact) feels like the right choice, to me, if you were going to bring either character back [I'm not really sure I would have done that though, to be honest].

Equally, for all my irritation at the time wasted on the "is Giles the First Evil?" subplot and at some of the other character deaths the writers did go for, I'm glad that the Core Four all survive. What the season actually does with Giles isn't very good, and neither Xander nor Willow are in this season enough (especially not in its second half), but at least they all get to live.

Oh, and Anya. I'm glad the writers didn't give in to the temptation to kill off Anya for some sort of cheap shock value, the way some leaked early drafts of Chosen suggest they were thinking of doing. Can you imagine how infuriating that would have been? I don't know if I would ever have accepted it. I might even now be living in denial. Thankfully common sense prevailed there and Anya definitely survived.

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

The last few things I wrote were quite sad, and so I had a HC that little Éowyn was a real menace to the women who wanted to date Théodred and I had a few hours at a boring work conference so…here’s a thing, presumably less sad! Less than 1,500 words!

Théodred is 26ish and Éowyn is 9ish.

“What do we say, Éowyn?”

Théoden put a hand behind her shoulder and lightly propelled her toward Théodred, who sat quietly a few feet away. Her lips were pressed into a thin, straight line and her eyes still burned with a fiery gleam, but, lacking any other choice, she complied with her uncle’s direction.

“I am sorry, cousin, for calling your visitor a Donkey Face,” she muttered, the words hard and cold as she glared down at the stonework on the floor.

“And?” Théoden gave her another small prod.

She sighed heavily, as though he had burdened her with the weight of the world itself. “And for putting a spider in her hair. And for laughing while she screamed and danced around to get it out.” She shot a look up at Théoden, her eyes accusing. “Even though the spider was perfectly harmless, and you didn’t need to squish it.”

“No commentary, please. Just continue with what we talked about.”

She drew another breath to spit out the rest of the scripted apology, feeling the distastefulness of the words in her mouth already. But when she turned back to Théodred, looking him in the face this time, she stopped short. His eyes were soft and a small smile played across his lips, a look of fond affection that somehow felt more damning than any of her uncle’s stern reprimands. It was easy for her to meet anger with anger, but to sustain a sharp temper in opposition to Théodred’s quiet warmth was nearly impossible, feeling somewhere between absurd and callous. Her voice faltered, its prior edge dulled by the first stirring of true regret.

“Uncle says that I made myself look bad, but also him and also you.” She swallowed hard, her words sticking in her throat from contrition now rather than petulance, and she took another small step toward him. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. I hope that you aren't angry with me, and I promise not to do it again. A real promise this time. Do you forgive me?”

Théodred’s small smile widened, blooming into a grin, and he waved a hand, a little brushing gesture to push the whole matter behind them. “Of course. Consider it forgotten.”

“Not forgotten,” warned Théoden. “Forgiven, yes. But let us remember in the future that we are not to treat guests this way, especially very important guests who are here at my personal invitation.” He nodded to Théodred and then turned for the door. “Now, if you’ll both excuse me, I have some ruffled feelings to smooth in the other room. I’m not sure Éowyn’s first apology went over as well as this one did.”

Théoden walked out and Éowyn was about to follow when Théodred’s hand caught her elbow.

“May I ask you something, little cousin?” He released her arm and pointed to the chair next to him.

She had hoped to escape the room, to run off to a branch of her favorite tree from which she could watch the king’s guards go through their daily combat drills and pretend the whole morning had never happened. But instead, she perched hesitantly on the edge of the proffered chair and waited for him to speak.

He sat for a long moment in silence, fingers tented in front of his chest, and studied her face. “I’ve always loved your mischievous spirit,” he said at last. “It reminds me of your mother, and it brings a sense of laughter and fun into what used to be a very somber place. But your mother never turned her mischief against unsuspecting strangers, and neither did you until recently. One incident is a fluke, two is notable, but four is a pattern. Is there something troubling you lately that would explain this change? Anything that you’d like to talk about?”

“No.” The answer came out quickly and defensively, an attempt to ward off further inquiry, but it seemed only to encourage him to keep talking instead.

“I can’t help but notice that the targets of your mischief have all had one thing in common. They’re all noble ladies, daughters of your uncle’s closest friends and allies, that he’s brought here to visit with me. Have these women done something to you that would perhaps warrant your dislike?”

The straight line reformed at her lips, and she shook her head.

“If you don’t know these women and they’ve never caused you offense or given you reason to view them unfavorably, then why are you so intent on tormenting them?”

A hot blush came to her cheeks, and, embarrassingly, some tears to her eyes. She looked down to hide them, staring intently at a small crack in the floor, and tried to think of what to say. But all her thoughts only brought the threat of more tears and so she shrugged her shoulders instead.

“How about if I tell you what I think, and you can tell me if I am wrong?” He paused just long enough to see her reluctant nod and then continued. “I think perhaps you dislike the fact that your uncle keeps bringing women here in the hopes that I’ll choose one as a bride. I think you know that things will change once I have a wife, and perhaps you worry about what those changes will mean for you. And I think you’ve been trying to run these women off, so that maybe you won’t have to find out.” He leaned forward and put a hand gently on her arm. “Does that sound right?”

She shrugged again, keeping her head down, but she couldn’t hide the big, round tear that dripped from her chin and landed heavily on the back of his hand. And once the first was seen, the will to hold back the others quickly crumbled. Whatever response she might have made was lost in an instant, and she began to sob.

“Oh, Éowyn, come here.” He gestured her toward him, and she stumbled forward into his open arms, her little frame swallowed up in the big, tight embrace he wrapped around her. “Getting married is something most of us will do some day. And if we’re lucky, we get many happy years together with a beloved husband or wife. Your uncle was cheated out of that chance, and he wants to see me enjoy what he was denied. But when I find a wife to love, that doesn’t mean that I’ll then love you any less. That’s not how love works. A heart always has room for more. And I’ll guard your share like it’s one of my most cherished treasures, because it is. I promise, cousin.”

He let her cry for another few minutes, releasing the fear and sadness that had been trapped deep within her for the last several weeks, until eventually the tears began to slow and her breathing to calm. A little sniffling noise emerged from somewhere inside the embrace, and he felt her dry a wet cheek on his shirt before pulling back to look up at him, all wide eyes and creased brow. “Your favorite cousin?” The tiniest shadow of a smirk appeared on her lips.

He laughed, and then she did, too. “I won’t be snared in your trap that easily just to see Éomer angry with me later. But you’re my one and only Éowyn, and that is a special thing indeed.”

She smiled, wiped her face again on a sleeve, and returned to her chair, dropping back into it more comfortably this time. “If you do have to pick a wife, I hope she’ll be much better than the ones Uncle has brought so far. All they do is sit there and smile and agree with everything you say. And they all laugh too hard at Uncle’s jokes. There hasn’t been a good one in the lot.”

He laughed again. “Would you like to know a secret?” He leaned forward and switched to an exaggerated whisper. “I don’t much like them either.”

“You don’t?” Her eyes widened but she worked hard to keep a note of gleeful triumph from her voice.

“That doesn’t mean that I condone calling them names or covering them with bugs, of course, but no, they’re not right for me. It’s not their fault, and I know that your uncle means well in bringing them here. But I intend to find my own wife, in my own time. And when I do find her someday, I am certain that she’ll meet with your approval. No insects or dirty looks or ‘accidentally’ spilled tea required. After all, you trust my judgment, don’t you?”

She nodded.

“Good.” He smiled and held out a hand. “Now let’s go out to the garden and see if we can find you a new spider friend.”

Dividers by the lovely @quillofspirit!

[cr4yolaas]

— til death do us ‘part . ayato x reader

synopsis . with your newfound illness, you cannot afford to make ayato shoulder the burden of the loss of his spouse — so you simply will not marry him. he decides against that.

warnings . Angst !!! rdr has an illness, emetophobia tw (detailed description of puking / vomiting), ooc ayato(?), descriptions of grief and loss, lots of heavy emotions between everyone

notes . tbh, idk much about ayato’s personality? maybe on-the-surface stuff, but not enough to be nitpicky about the little details. i just wanted to write this for him :) one of the quotes is inspired by “the metamorphosis”

late in the night, ayato found you hunched over the floor, with one hand gripping the nightstand and the other trembling violently against chapped lips that quivered just as much. an ungodly amount of blood spilled between your teeth, staining the premium tatami mat beneath the bed. his calls of your name, a name he made place for in his heavy heart, fell on deaf ears as you emptied out the crimson liquid alongside the contents of your stomach.

for once, the man was at a loss. kamisato ayato, the cunning, nimble, and perseverant head of the kamisato clan, was at a loss.

before his thoughts could collect themselves, he reached around his own nightstand for a handkerchief, desperate to stop your slow asphyxiation from the sheer amount of blood and vomit and other unidentifiable liquids you were heaving onto the floor. by the time the fabric reached your mouth, your incessant hacking had come to a halt.

your shallow breaths turned heavy as you gripped onto your partner’s shoulders. “i’m sorry,” you croaked out. “. . . for waking you. you need to rest. you have a lot of work tomorrow. sorry.”

each word was weaker than the last. ayato knew he was supposed to bring you to a doctor, to a healer, to anyone who was capable of helping you, but the only thing he could do in the moment was hold you close to his chest. the aqueduct of white-hot tears within him was threatening to collapse and bring forth a sorrowful fury neither of you could handle. for you, he remained silent.

——

ayato’s mind was filled with a sense of urgency for a reason he could not place. contrast to the anxiety trickling down his spine, cold and unnerving, a soft sheet of sunlight peered through the window, coating his bare skin with a warmth that encapsulated the youth of spring. such a peaceful morning.

when his weary gaze finally met your sleeping form, he became hyperaware of the reason for his unease. bits of dried blood and remnants of dinner last night were scattered around your lips. even while you rested, your brows were furrowed — not in an angry sense, but in the way your whole face would scrunch up when you were uncomfortable. and once the little details started to add up in his mind (which was still waking up), the big picture from last night became clear.

still donning his silk nightwear, ayato rushed down to the dining room, the fear in his eyes piercing through thoma’s warm smile.

a cacophony of shatters filled the estate.

——

three months.

that was what the doctor had told him.

the news was unbeknownst to you. you were only awake for the brief check-up before falling back into an ironically peaceful slumber.

while you rested, ayato sat before his now-cold breakfast. his thoughts were moving around his head faster than he could process them, each one more nonsensical and frantic than the last. at the forefront of his mind, he was contemplating how to inform you of your unavoidable demise. was lying the right choice, despite being morally cruel? should he serve your death sentence to you on a honey-coated silver platter? or maybe, serve it to you cold and blunt?

kamisato ayato was stumped.

to his sister, who sat across from him, it looked as if he had a vengeance against his food. with delicate hands, he tore apart pieces of his bread with a violence akin to the way he handled his criminals. each fruit slice was impaled with his fork, but the pieces never met his lips. to top it all off, his plate was smothered with runny egg yolks. an edible crime scene, thoma called it. all of which committed with a straight face.

it did not take an ounce of intelligence to see that he was drowning in his thoughts, so much so that it was killing him from the inside. neither sibling nor servant took the initiative to speak to him.

you woke up to your lover’s mess of a meal, a small upturn of your lips gracing your face as you took a seat next to him.

your lover, and soon, your husband.

the thought made your face heat up just a bit.

“what’s got you so focused?” you asked him while placing your own portion of food on your plate. it was a passing question, one made out of jest, really. regardless, it made ayato break.

“june,” he mumbled, his stare falling to his breakfast (or rather, the lack thereof). the pair on the other side of the table could only look down at their own meals, playing with and separating the food, as if their appetites had simultaneously vanished. you, on the other hand, were only looking at ayato, your brows furrowed as confusion slowly nestled itself in your stomach. again, he spoke under his breath, “yes, summer.”

“i’m not sure i follow. . . ? is something wrong?” genuine concern was etched onto your face. ayaka sucked in a heavy breath, her hands fiddling with the hem of her dress.

ayato made the decision.

“you have until june.”

——

there was something so tantalizingly slow about the way death peeked over your shoulders. akin to sunrise on a foggy day, it crawled up your bare skin, infecting every square inch of brittle bone. and all ayato could do was watch.

there were no known cures to your condition, and attempting to delay the rate of the infection through surgery or medication would prove to be more of a risk. you showed no interest in trying, anyways.

you had resigned yourself to his bed (not your shared bed just yet — you had yet to officially move in with him), which he paid no mind to. with little hope left in him, but all the affection for you remaining in his heart, he tried to make the best of what he had left of you.

it took him a week to finally approach you. when he did, he bore a bittersweet smile and a small pastry from the market in his hand — more specifically, your favorite pastry. but, as soon as your lips started to move, he wished he had been faster.

“let’s cancel the marriage.”

maybe, if he had sucked up the sorrow in his heavy heart just a day earlier, the thought wouldn’t have passed your mind. or maybe, if he hadn’t wallowed in his pool of guilt and despair at all, you would’ve much rather stayed with him til the very end.

he found himself frowning at your words. the plastic in his hand audibly crinkled from his grip, which only tightened slightly. “why?”

at his inquisition you looked away. it almost made him laugh, how you looked so much more alive when you weren’t facing his way. he noticed your hands reaching for bits of skin on your lips, peeling away with an unrivaled anxiety.

this was not your plan. you were hoping to distance yourself from him (and the rest of the world) gradually, so the final blow wouldn’t be too bad. so that, when the inevitable happened, he wouldn’t grieve too hard. in all honesty, when he broke the news to you, a wave of remorse and shame and disappointment washed over you. remorse, because you would be leaving behind a newlywed corpse. shame, for letting your body succumb to such an illness. disappointment, because you could not fulfill your lover’s wishes of sticking together until the very end. he had never asked for much, especially from you. the only thing he ever pleaded for was that you stay by his side. and you were unable to do something as simple as that.

you unleashed a heavy breath, one filled with such unfiltered emotion that it struck ayato hard. “i cannot promise you what you want. in the next three months, i’ll be nothing more than a expiring body on your bed. and when the wedding comes around, i will not be able to go. to my own wedding.” you sucked in another dose of thick air. “i cannot explain to you what is going on inside of me. i cannot even explain it to myself. it hurts. i don’t know what to do, but i do know that it’ll render me unable to stay by your side.”

you couldn’t count on your fingers the amount of stories you’ve heard of widows and widowers who lost themselves to grief over the loss of their spouse. the thought that ayato’s experience would add on to the list made your heart hurt.

with a grace he always seemed to embody, he approached the bed and sat beside you. strawberry-kissed fingers brushed against your knuckles, dry and blistered. “i won’t ask you to explain anything else to me,” he reassured you, his voice laced with velvet tones. “but i promise you, my dear, i will love and cherish you until your last breath, and until mine. there will never be a moment that goes by where you’re not in my heart. i am yours, and i wish for you to be mine equally.” with soft lips he pressed kisses to your skin, coating your dying soul in an asphyxiating amount of affection as he went from your forehead, down to your chin, down to your hands, and then your lips, chapped as they may be. every word he spoke held truth. “even if you are gone from this world, it’s still us against everyone else. i’ll give you that.”

[aevallare]

vow

light plot. heavy smut. mind the warnings. you can read on ao3 here

pairing: ascended astarion/f!tav

word count: 5220

warnings: menstruation kink, throne sex, oral sex, obsession, jealousy, kidnapping, power dynamics, dubious consent, light bondage, inappropriate use of mage hand

preview:

Astarion asks, “Won’t I hurt you?”

His voice. She hadn’t forgotten, really, but melancholy floods her nonetheless. “I don’t know. But I had to make him think that.”

“Devious.” He claps in a mockery of applause. “You’ve made me look a downright fool, darling. Imagine my disappointment when I showed up to that godsforsaken pity party Withers threw and you weren’t even there.”

“I was busy.” She has to keep her answers short. If she gives him an opening, she’ll be lost forever. It’s that simple.

enjoy!!

-------

Auri’s cycle has always been a fickle thing. It’s stabilized some in the months following their defeat of the Elder Brain and as her stress and anxiety have leveled out, but her cycle is still far from predictable.

The twisting pains in her stomach are far from the worst they’ve ever been, but they’re uncomfortable nonetheless, and when she wakes to them and a sealed letter in her pack, she knows today will be strange.

Auri recognizes the author of the letter instantly, though. She’d know Withers’ hand anywhere. Her lips part as she reads.

It’s an invitation. Withers has invited everyone who liberated Baldur’s Gate and, apparently, a few others besides. He’s arranged for Karlach and Wyll to come up out of Avernus and transport for Halsin and Shadowheart from their respective homes. Lae’zel, too, will be in attendance, and Gale is on holiday anyway.

And Astarion, of course, though Withers leaves his name for last. Auri imagines that he’d rankled at the slight of not being asked to host.

When her stomach twists, it isn’t just menstrual pains. She tries not to think about Astarion if she can help it, though it’s much harder when her troupe is in Baldur’s Gate and the Szarr-turned-Ancunín estate looms over her at every turn.

The invitation’s for tomorrow, and Deadwinter is one of the biggest performances of the year. No one would ask any questions if she begged off for the night, but–

“Auri, can I get your help out here?” Amar calls, and Auri blinks.

She stares for a moment longer at the invitation, and then she says, “Yeah. I’ll be right there.”

Auri throws the invitation into the fireplace. The flames lick away at it until Auri could almost forget she ever received it in the first place.

She steps towards Amar’s voice, and as she walks, the burden bears down on her.

When she’d helped Astarion ascend, it had seemed like the right choice for a multitude of reasons.

It would make him stronger, for one, in the fight against the Elder Brain. The odds were already so stacked against them; it made sense to make him the Vampire Ascendant.

He would never fear anything again. That mattered to Auri, and it mattered a lot. She’d known it would change him. She’d known it would ruin whatever love they had. She simply wanted him to feel safe.

And before every other consideration, it was what he wanted. If there was anything that she’d tried to impress on him in the weeks leading up to that moment, it was that what he wanted was important.

But she hadn’t understood. Neither had he. The Astarion she was in love with wouldn’t have wanted to become what he is now, a caricature of a vampire.

Auri doesn’t think that’s what he would have wanted, at least, but it’s been more than a year since she’s spoken to him. It’s been more than a year since she was in Baldur’s Gate at all.

She exhales. They’re here for three days. If Withers somehow comes knocking when she doesn’t attend the party, she’ll say she never saw the invitation at all.

Auri always feels silly at the Deadwinter performance. The outfits show far too much skin for what the weather should allow, but the venue is always artificially warm, so she can’t complain.

She just can’t leave the tent without nearly freezing to death. Auri pulls at the skirt, thankful that she’s at least allowed a semblance of short leggings underneath. If Amar’s to be believed, the outfit is supposed to evoke the idea of a snowflake, though her hair seems at odds with the concept.

Before she steps out on stage to take her usual place at Amar’s side, she exhales.

The others are all together by now. Karlach and Wyll have stepped out of the hells. Gale and Lae’zel have teleported in. Shadowheart and Halsin have no doubt arrived. Did Astarion arrive as a bat? They’ve surely realized that she isn’t coming.

It doesn’t matter. There’s a show to put on.

The smile Auri wears is radiant. It would glint off snow if the tent allowed it entry. When she steps into the light, the crowd is raucous.

They know her, of course. How couldn’t they? She’s the Hero of Baldur’s Gate. There’s a statue of her in the middle of the city.

Auri waves, smile never faltering, and Amar, voice magnified by a spell, says, “And you all know Aurora, I’d imagine! After all, without her, this crowd would look much different!”

He lets out a bellowing guffaw that almost turns the smile on Auri’s face real. Amar’s good at his job. He loves it and it shows.

When he gestures for Auri to take her lyre in hand, she does. This is like breathing. Her head tilts to the side and again, she exhales. Her fingers brush against the strings lightly, and she manages to play precisely one note before she sees the mist.

The lyre falls to the ground. In any other situation, she’d wince at dropping it, but there’s no time.

“You need to get out of here,” she says to Amar. “You need to get everyone out of here.”

But that’s futile. How wouldn’t it be?

Astarion’s the Vampire Ascendant, after all.

When Astarion manifests before her, all air leaves the room. He’s as stunning as ever with his marble skin and ruby eyes, perfectly manicured hair and nails.

And he doesn’t slaughter everyone in attendance, which is thoughtful of him.

Amar hasn’t moved from her side. He knows exactly who Astarion is, and he’s unwilling to leave Auri alone.

“Go,” Auri repeats. “He won’t hurt me.”

Amar swallows hard behind her. Auri herself doesn’t know if she believes that’s true. Regardless, he finally leaves, and the spectators continue filing out as Astarion asks, “Won’t I hurt you?”

His voice. She hadn’t forgotten, really, but melancholy floods her nonetheless. “I don’t know. But I had to make him think that.”

“Devious.” He claps in a mockery of applause. “You’ve made me look a downright fool, darling. Imagine my disappointment when I showed up to that godsforsaken pity party Withers threw and you weren’t even there.”

“I was busy.” She has to keep her answers short. If she gives him an opening, she’ll be lost forever. It’s that simple.

Astarion sets his mouth in a line. “Is that so?”

“Yes. Deadwinter is our biggest performance of the year.”

He casts a sarcastic glance around the now-empty room. “You wouldn’t know it from the crowd.”

Auri scowls. “Yes. I wonder why.”

“Embarrassing, really, this turnout.” Astarion sighs, shaking his head. “You’d think more people would have shown up for the Hero of Baldur’s Gate.”

“You know I never wanted that title.”

“I personally always thought that Consort of the Vampire Ascendant was much more prestigious, but what do I know?”

Auri has a million things to say to that, chief amongst them that she misses him more than words can say, but instead she stays quiet.

When she doesn’t rise to the passive aggression, Astarion exhales through his nose, unimpressed. “Well, in any event, your evening seems to have been freed up.”

Auri’s eyes narrow. “What?”

“Relax,” Astarion says, every inch of him a predator, and Auri’s always felt like prey. “I have nothing but the best intentions.”

Anxiety bubbles in her throat, but it’s not like it matters. When he steps forward and his mist swallows her, she can only be thankful that he hadn’t leveled the troupe entirely.

It’s fast, traveling this way. Auri expects to arrive at the party, where she’ll have to field a hundred questions about why she hadn’t come in the first place and why Astarion had fetched her.

But it isn't the party at all. When her eyes open, she’s standing in the halls of Cazador Szarr.

Or they used to be his halls. They’re Astarion’s, now, Auri supposes, and the decor’s changed drastically.

Auri’s breath catches. There’s finery as far as the eye can see, yes, but more than that, this isn’t the lair of a singularly self-obsessed vampire.

It’s the colors. There’s Astarion’s red and black, yes, and the Ancunín crest is present everywhere, but there’s another color threaded through the hall.

There are accents of seafoam everywhere.

Auri’s lips part. He’s laced his lair with her. It wouldn’t matter where he looked. Astarion’s designed this room so that her favorite color is intertwined with his.

“This–” Auri swallows and steels herself. “What trick is this?”

“Trick?” Astarion asks, unimpressed.

It has to be a trick. It must be.

But it’s not. The seafoam alone could have been a trick, but there’s something else.

Auri walks down the hall with Astarion as her shadow. The room is conspicuously empty; it takes an army of servants to run this estate, no doubt, but Astarion has clearly arranged for them to be nowhere near here.

And at the end of the hall, there are two thrones.

One, clearly, is his. It’s better-worn, and every throw and cushion is in his colors. The other looks almost untouched.

When they met, Auri had been wearing seafoam and gold. The throne that isn’t Astarion’s looks like a concentrated vial of ocean and sunshine. It would be altogether out of place but for the way the same blue-green color weaves through the rest of the decor.

“I have made reminders of you to never forget how the thing I crave more than anything else walked away.” Astarion stands next to her as if he’s considering the throne himself. “And then you step into my city bleeding freely and expect to simply avoid me by not attending a function I only deemed worth my time because you would be there.”

“You could not smell my cycle from here–”

“I could smell you from the moment you set foot in Baldur’s Gate. I could certainly smell you this morning when you woke.”

Auri blushes despite herself. “That’s none of your business. You have your pick of meals these days anyway. I have no doubt about that.”

Her pulse pounds in her throat. Astarion can probably see it.

“If I have my pick,” he drawls, circling behind her, “Then surely it won’t be a problem if I choose you to feast on.”

Still, his voice holds this much power over her. When Astarion speaks, Auri bites her lip. He continues, “I have craved you every moment since we parted ways. No taste has compared, and believe me when I say that I’ve searched.”

Auri doesn't know if they're talking about sex or blood. She doesn't think it matters. Still, she doesn't speak. Astarion says, “Don't you find it funny how your traveling band of misfits never meets trouble on the road? Do you think that that’s a coincidence?”

Auri swallows hard. “What are you saying?”

His voice is at her ear. “I became this for you, little love. I kill and I maim and I slaughter, and I do it all for you.”

Astarion’s right, in his way, though Auri doesn’t want to admit it. He’d made it clear that he wanted to ascend to protect himself and her, too.

“Then stop all of it for me,” she says.

He chuckles, smirking. “It doesn’t work that way, darling. We made me into this. You’re the one who decided that she didn’t like the result." He pauses. "What say you that we make a deal?” Astarion asks. His hand is cool on her cheek and Auri leans into his touch reflexively. “Whether you admit it or not, you’ve missed me. I’ve been honest about how I’ve hungered for you.”

And he’s right, of course. Here, alone with him, the year without him falls away and Auri is as weak as she ever was.

“What do you propose?” she asks. His touch is feather-light along her collarbone.

Auri tries to steel herself, but it's futile. He's already won and he knows it.

“You're attached to your pathetic excuse for freedom, I know.” His fingers inch closer to her breast. “But let's put your willpower to the test.”

This is a mistake. She knows it.

Astarion is in front of her again. His hand switches course and finds purchase on her chin, tilting her head to the side to expose Auri's neck.

“For every climax that I bring you to, you give me a month.”

His words snap Auri from her lust-drunk haze. “A month? What do you mean a month?”

“I mean a month.” The hand that had exposed her neck falls between her legs, palming her clit through her leggings. Auri exhales a shuddering gasp as he continues, “For each time you come, you'll spend a month on the throne that I've built for you. My bed will be yours. This estate will be yours. And for that month, you'll be mine properly.”

This is a mistake. She’d known it already, and the fact becomes clearer by the moment.

“I stay mortal,” she says, her voice trembling. Astarion applies pressure again between her legs, and Auri whimpers.

When her hips buck into his hand, a wicked smile spreads across Astarion’s face. “Why you're so attached to your mortality is beyond my comprehension, but yes. If that's what it takes for you to agree, then mortal is what you'll remain.”

His words are annoyed but his tone is far from it.

“You won't touch Amar. You'll leave the circus alone.”

Her resolve was never going to last. She'd given in before they'd even begun.

Astarion rolls his eyes and his hand leaves the spot between her legs. Auri gasps with loss, but it doesn't last long. He scoops her into his arms and turns, depositing her onto the throne next to his.

Her throne.

“I would make you royalty, and your concern is with that ragtag group of nobodies.”

Just as she's adjusted to sit properly, Astarion falls to one knee, pulling her legs forward so that he's between them.

“They aren't nobodies–” Auri protests, but it's futile. This was over long ago.

His knife sits at the hem of her leggings. “If they aren't nobodies, then why did you spend the entire time that that pretty little fire dancer was between your legs wishing it was my mouth on your cunt instead?”

A blush burns through her as hot as the lust she can't deny in her core. “That's not true–”

“Oh?” He tilts his head to the side. “Then tell me to stop.”

The fling with Evana had been short-lived and mediocre. This will no doubt be anything but.

When Auri doesn't protest, Astarion pushes her skirt upward and runs his knife down the seam of her leggings with ease.

“Do you accept my terms, then? Or are we going to let all this blood go to waste?”

Need throbs in Auri's stomach.

“You won't touch them,” she repeats.

Astarion stares at her with twisted devotion.

“For you, my treasure, anything.”

She can regret this tomorrow. For now, she fists a hand in his immaculately coiffed hair to help his mouth find the place it belongs.

The first swipe of his tongue is like coming home. Astarion licks her clean without shame, and Auri doesn't know how she ever thought she could replace him with another. When the flat of his tongue presses against her entrance, she squirms impatiently. Astarion looks up at her, left hand gripping her thigh–

And with his right hand, he snaps.

His eyes dance with dark delight, and something spectral pulls at her fingers.

A mage hand.

“What–” she starts, but that’s all that she manages before the apparition gathers both her wrists in its grasp and pins them behind her.

His mouth pulls away to answer her unasked question. Auri's hips try to follow, but Astarion only smirks.

“It's your throne, darling, but I'm the one who built it.”

Blood adorns his face. He seems entirely uninterested in wiping himself clean. His tongue runs along his lips, and he sighs, eyes fluttering shut.

The Vampire Ascendant kneels before her, but it's a mockery of control that the position gives her.

“You'll get what you seek, and you'll get it many times over. In fact, I plan to give it to you as many times as there are months in the year.”

Twelve times– there's not a universe where she can orgasm twelve times–

She doesn't get to finish the thought. Astarion's mouth continues what it started, and Auri can do nothing but fall prey to his expertise.

There's no learning curve for him. He knew her body perfectly before he ascended and she became the Hero of Baldur's Gate, and he hasn’t forgotten in the year that they’ve spent apart. Astarion nips at the soft flesh of her inner thigh and all Auri can do is cry out, the pain intermingling with pleasure.

When he devours her, Auri can’t remember why she ever let him leave. She can’t remember why she left him.

Since she was named the big damn hero, everything has been an exercise in trying to be good. It’s exactly like it was before the tadpole but with the pressure of everyone’s expectations piled on top.

When Astarion’s lips pull at her clit, two fingers slip inside her.

Hasn’t she earned it? Hasn’t she earned this instance of selfishness, of desire?

The mage hand is unrelenting. She wants to thrash; she wants to ride his fingers, wants to fuck herself on them to orgasm. The pace he builds instead is infuriatingly slow, the suction torturous. When his fingers curl to press at the spot that only he has ever been able to hit perfectly, she gasps out, “Please–”

His mouth leaves her clit with a pop that Auri will never forget for as long as she lives. “What’s the rush, darling? We’ve got, well, as much time as I decide we have.” When he pushes the third finger inside of her, Auri’s eyes roll back into her head. His smirk is infuriating, but all it accomplishes is making Auri even slicker. Astarion continues, “On the other hand, there’s no reason not to start all of this with a bang.”

His thumb presses into her clit, and just when Auri thinks that release is imminent, he replaces his thumb again with his mouth.

Auri shatters.

Still, the mage hand doesn’t release her. When she tries to free her hands, its grip tightens if anything. Her wrists will be purple with bruises tomorrow, but Auri doesn’t care. Her hips cant upward into Astarion’s face, but he’s gracious toward her climax. As he works her through it, his mouth slows, careful not to overstimulate her as he goes.

She’s still in love with him. He’s not the same man that he was, but as the lightning bolt of an orgasm rips through her body, it’s the only thought in her mind.

When she comes back down, he’s staring at her as if she’s some marvel of the universe.

“A month, then, that you’re mine.”

He withdraws from her cunt, and Auri exhales at the loss. Astarion never stops watching her as he stands, the mage hand dissipating. He licks at each of the fingers that were inside of her in turn.

“I’ll claim this month, I think,” he says, almost absently.

Auri’s still breathless. “This month?”

He raises an eyebrow as if she’s asked a stupid question. He should look disheveled, untethered in some way, but he doesn’t.

He just looks hungry.

“What better way to ring in every new year than by tasting your blood and cum?”

And Auri can’t really argue with that, especially not when desire makes her face flush again. She deflects instead.

“Are you going to stand there or are you going to make good on those twelve climaxes?”

Auri recognizes that the challenge is a mistake the moment that the words leave her lips.

Astarion's grin is devilish. “I was erring on the side of hyperbole when I implied twelve.”

There's blood underneath her. It stains the pillows and throws that he's taken care to decorate the throne with.

Astarion's always been fast, but now, he's supernaturally so. When Auri blinks, he's on top of her.

“How many can you handle, I wonder? How many times will your body let me unravel it?”

A lifetime ago, when they were both other people, Auri was gentle with him.

But that was a lifetime ago.

She fists her hands in the front of his shirt and pulls him to her. Her teeth clatter into his fangs when she kisses him. Auri’s never had the grace that he does.

“Let's find out,” she hisses into his mouth.

When he grins, it’s bloody. “How shall I give you my cock, then, sweet treat?”

It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters as long as it’s him.

“The Vampire Ascendant, asking my opinion–”

Auri gets the feeling that he might be annoyed were he not drunk on the vitality he’s just lapped from between her legs. Instead, he says, “A privilege, to be sure,” and when Auri throws her head back and laughs, it’s real. Astarion blinks at her, almost surprised, but it lasts only a moment. He exhales, nodding at the shirt she’s somehow still wearing as he begins to unlace his breeches. “Off.”

She complies gladly, slipping out of what little clothing remains on her body and expecting him to do the same, but he doesn’t. Auri swallows hard as Astarion’s cock slips free, but he makes no motion to further undress.

Instead, he once more lifts her into his arms effortlessly, taking the seat she’d occupied just before. He’s flush with the back of the throne, and Auri’s exposed entirely on his lap.

And again, any illusion of power that Auri had slips away. She has a knee on either side of his hips, and she grasps for equal ground when she says, “You always did like me on top,” but she’s already panting. “My cycle is going to ruin your lovely outfit.”

His cock teases her entrance. Auri’s mouth is dry.

“What better fitting metaphor for the way I’m about to ruin you?” he asks.

Fine things tainted by taboo. They’re the same that way. They always have been.

When he sheathes himself inside her, Auri thinks she might black out. Her head lolls backward as she takes him, and to any god that might be listening, she whispers, “Fuck.”

His hands are on her waist as he guides her downward, soaked as she is with blood and cum, and Auri moans as he fills her. He thrusts up into her once, softly, and one of his hands drifts to her breast. His nail flits along her nipple, a tease of a thing, and Auri’s hips roll instinctively.

Astarion exhales through his nose, his eyes half-lidded. For all his posturing, he wants her as badly as Auri wants him. She raises her hips to take him again, to fuck him until she can’t breathe, but even as she rides, he sets the pace. The hand on her waist helps her up and down as his cock turns slick with her, and with the other, he kneads the soft flesh of her breast.

When she tries to lean back and take him as deeply as her body will allow, the hand on her waist stops her.

“What–” she starts, dizzy with lust. His cock throbs inside her. When she tries to move, again, he stops her. “Let me–”

“How many were there?” he asks, voice cold.

“What?”

Obsession wars with lust in Astarion’s eyes.

“Who else tasted you, fucked you, loved you while I pined after you?”

“Are you seriously asking this right now?”

Astarion grips her face with the hand that had been preoccupied with her breast. “Yes.”

Auri’s racing heart stems from fear, adrenaline, and the cock still buried inside her.

“There were only two. You know about Evana.”

“And the other?”

Auri barely remembers the other one. She was blackout drunk in a bar in some backwater dive, looking for any way to bury the fact that she’d let Astarion slip out of her grasp.

“I don’t even know his name.”

Astarion’s eyes narrow as if he doesn’t believe her. She’d be happy to play his cock sleeve another day, but this wasn’t the deal they struck.

“Read my thoughts if you think I’m lying,” she challenges, but the intrusion of his mind into hers never comes. The intrusion between her legs, though, fucks upward, and Auri cries out.

“Did they fuck you as well as I do, darling?”

He knows the answer. Auri knows that he does. He just wants to hear her say it.

“No one fucks me like you do,” she says, and at last (at last) he gives her what she wants. Her body’s so sensitive; Astarion thrusts into her hard enough that it almost hurts, but it doesn’t matter. Every move he makes electrifies her, and again, her own pleasure’s outside her control. She’d meant to ride him, an at least symbolic display of power, but he’s stolen it from her.

And she’d let him do it forever.

The realization coincides with the hand on her waist drifting down her body. Auri doesn’t notice. She’s too busy losing herself in the heat that’s building in the pit of her stomach.

When his fingers find her clit, Auri falls forward at the stimulation, catching herself on the back of the throne. Her face is nearly touching his, and the movement has the side effect of grinding her clit into his hand.

“You’ll come for me, won’t you?” he asks, voice low.

He doesn’t have to ask. She would anyway. But when he speaks, it pushes her over the edge. Pleasure rips through her body for a second time, and Auri isn’t sure, but she thinks she actually screams. She collapses into his chest, every muscle in her body contracting as he thrusts slowly into her twice more before coming to a stop.

“A second month, then.”

He sounds so self-satisfied, as if he isn’t waiting to spend himself inside her, too.

She loves him.

Gods, but she loves him, still.

Auri can’t give him what he wants. But maybe she can meet him halfway. Her mind’s not working. She’s been fucked so thoroughly that she barely knows up from down, but she can’t afford that.

When he slides out from inside her, Auri’s confused. Surely he’s not done after all his talk of ‘an orgasm for every month of the year.’

“Since you like deals,” Auri says, undercut by the fact that she can’t catch her breath, “I have a proposition for you.”

Astarion’s tongue runs along his teeth and he raises an eyebrow.

“I won’t give up my life with the troupe, but–”

Astarion clicks his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “Disappointing, but unsurprising,” he says, and without a modicum of decorum, he turns her so that her back is flush with his chest. Auri rests comfortably in his lap, and momentarily, she thinks that this is surprisingly tender.

His hand spreads her legs.

“If you’re going to offer me some sort of consolation prize, I’d like you to see just how lovely you look with my cock stuffed inside you while you try to negotiate.”

How is it possible for her to still crave him after she’s come in his mouth and on his cock? It looks obscene between her legs, rubbing up against her clit, covered in her blood and cum both.

“Just think about how much easier it would be to keep an eye on me if you were here,” Astarion says, a hand under each of her thighs. His mouth is at her ear; he’s closer to coming apart than he wants her to think. His voice is ragged with it. Auri reaches a hand behind her to catch in his hair.

“Why can’t I have both?”

He answers by sinking himself inside her. Auri watches as his cock disappears into her, and again, there’s that inimitable feeling of fullness. This position–

She’ll never last.

“I’ll give you everything.” Astarion’s cock slams into the spot that makes her vision go white. “Gold, jewels, instruments you’ve never even heard of.” Auri can’t think. She can’t breathe. He’s the only thing there is and the only thing that matters.

Except that’s not true, no matter how much she wishes that it were.

“Three months. I’ll give you three months a year, whichever ones you want.”

Astarion nips at her neck, just enough to draw blood. “You’re going to give me that anyway, precious thing. Those were the terms.”

She’s going to break. She’s going to cry. He thrusts into her mercilessly, and the pleasure is relentless. Again, his hand finds her clit, and Auri briefly thinks that this might actually kill her.

“Three months,” she repeats, though not without scraping her nails against the back of his head.

“I think not.”

Auri cries out but steels herself. Ecstasy is just within reach, but Astarion’s close, too. She can feel it in the way his fingers dig into the flesh of her thigh. “Six, then.”

“Twelve, then, if you’re going to be stubborn.” A veritable growl bubbles from his throat, his thrusts lose their rhythm, and his fingers on his clit lose their discipline as finally, finally his unaffected veneer slips.

“Six,” Auri gasps. “Six months each year, but you can come to me and feed as often as you like.”

It’s the first time that Auri feels the balance of power shift in her favor.

“Come for me, you confounding thing,” he says, and he isn’t asking this time. The pressure on her clit is rough and she spirals into a third climax. Astarion chases her into it as her muscles spasm around his cock and in the same moment, his fangs pierce her skin.

She writhes, coming around him as he spends himself inside her. Her own blood trickles down her neck, but she has no doubt that he won’t let it go to waste. His cock pulses as he rides out his own end, and Auri doesn’t think she has ever been this deliciously full.

“Six months I'll be with you, but year round I'll be yours to feast on.” Auri’s vision swims as she speaks, the cumulative effect of three orgasms and Astarion feeding. When he finally pulls his mouth from her flesh, he’s silent.

He’s still hard inside her. When he shifts to a more comfortable sitting position, Auri’s eyes flutter shut.

“I’m not convinced,” Astarion says, and Auri bites the inside of her cheek. “But perhaps you could try to sway me in the bedroom, instead.”

He kisses the wounds he’s just inflicted on her throat. Auri smiles.

She’ll get her way. She always does. And she loves him.

Maybe that’s enough.

“You don’t want to make an appearance at the party?” Auri asks.

Astarion smirks. “I’ll drop you off there naked after I’ve had my way with you if you’re still being stubborn about letting me give you the life you deserve.”

Auri snorts. No matter what path her life takes, it always seems to lead her back to Astarion.

Auri likes Deadwinter.

thanks for reading love u bye

[pigeonpeach]

Too little too late <3

Summary: Diluc vs Jean x fem reader!

Did he really except you to wait? You had spent your life with the knowledge you would marry Dluc Ragvindr when you were of age. You grew alongside him and grew to like him. You two were close and you didn’t mind the arrangement and neither did he. But on his 18th birthday much happened to destroy those plans. His father died, he left the knights, he ran away with no explanation or even a note left for you his now worried fiancée. No answer when he’d come back or if he wouldn’t. To say you were stressed was a understatement.

That’s the thing about relationships, you’re not supposed to ditch your partner because you’re overwhelmed. You take a breather and talk to them about it. You had told him he could always talk to you about anything no matter what. And you advocated for him to do so, but he didn’t. He didn’t send you a letter in those 4 years he was gone. But who did was Jean Gunnhildr. Your parents rescinded the arrangement, they worried Diluc was too unstable to be wed currently. All without notifying him as they had no way to do so. Who was there to comfort you? Not Diluc but Jean. Jean who was already dealing with the fallout and such herself. Jean let you vent and cry in her lap as she visited you regularly. You two had always been close friends. You even joked you wished you could marry her instead. As a year passed with no word from Diluc you gave up your dream or expectation of his return. It was heartbreaking but necessary, you took the promise ring and gave it to Adelinde as you wished to focus on yourself rather than burden the worries of a man who wouldn’t even let you know if he was okay or not. Maybe it was wrong to hate him but the man left you high and dry with no explanation or anything to go off of! You had no choice but to assume you just weren’t important enough for him to even consider he was leaving you behind. Your heart was in pieces and you had to fix it yourself.

Come 4 years and Diluc returned to Mondstadt no longer recognizable as the man he used to be. A stoic and emotionless expression with eyes that made him seem bored more often than not. He didn’t blame you for not waiting for him. But he did notice how Jean seemed to accompany you alot now. Far more than ever. Even as she got busier would you accompany her to go out in town, your arm wrapped around hers. Maybe its wrong for him to be jealous but… he can’t help it. There’s even talks that you might end up her wife instead. Your parents don’t seem against that idea either. To them Diluc is a good businessman but Jean is slated to be the next in charge, which is a big upgrade. She’s proven to be devoted and steady even in the face of change and battle. Perhaps they consider him a coward, that is definitely cruel but they also saw how you desperately tried to reach out to him to no avail.

As for Jean however she’s always loved you. She always envied Diluc for the fact he’d get you someday. She grew up gritting her teeth in a smile each time she heard him mention your future wedding with him. She bared it for you, to stay close to you and stay your friend. When he left she swooped in to console you. She didn’t expect to earn your heart but she wasn’t complaining. She also worried about diluc even though he was her competition all these years. She couldn’t help but be upset at how he left you though. Sure the first months were understandable but he should’ve tried to at least clarify he was okay or something at some point. She can’t help but pull her darling closer when he tries to talk. She’s finally proven herself as a option to them and she isn’t going to back down now.

Its quite a predicament to be in.