#she has her OWN anime man
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Your mom asked you about the anime man you have a crush on? 😭
my mom watched death note with me when it aired on tv years ago because teenage me had a crush on L and shes still a huge death note fan to this day
#my mom likes anime bc literally all her kids got into it growing up and she would watch it with us#my mom knows who sasuke is#she bought a t shirt at comic con like a decade ago that says 'i see shinigami' that she still has#she has seen all of dragon ball z#and still frequently quotes 'im here to kill you and take all your money'#she has her OWN anime man
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Bungou Stray Dogs: Dead Apple and how “ability users” (opposite to “normal people”) learning to accept themselves through the acceptance of their own abilities is a queer metaphor of acceptance of own's sexual orientation and gender: an essay by me
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#About: Dead Apple. Watched this a while ago with a friend and it was a lot of fun!!!#If you're reading this: thank you so much for hanging out with me I had such a good time (ㅅ´ ˘ )♡#Next to general considerations: wow they were right that Bungou Stray Dogs movie sure can Bungou Stray Dogs#It's always nice to see the detailed animation and elaborate backgrounds of movies. The animation quality compared to the manga is–#definitely noticeable and it's nice to see. That said... I still like the season 2 art style more? And I'm speaking strictly of art style.#The s2 one looks more soft and smooth while the da one is so much more rough.#The plot is... Very bsd-esque I don't think there's anything to add.#In my opinion Kyouka's arc is the one that turned out best tbh. I really like her narrative development and personal growth in this movie.#I like the complexity of her state of mind. how full of contradiction she is. I especially appreciate the recurring small changes of–#expression that indicate how she thinks differently from Atsushi even if she doesn't voice them. The fight between her cynicism and her–#kind nature. It's all very interesting.#Atsushi's development is interesting too. Although all the open questions about his ability we still have kind of leave me frustrated#I don't feel very strongly about Akutagawa in this movie? I mean‚ he's there. The ss/kk scenes are always great and in character and a joy–#to witness no matter what they do. He just doesn't shine particularly? Or at least personally I dont find the “proving my strength against–#myself” narrative arc to be particularly interesting. Imo it was a lot better flashed out in the da stage play! With the complexity that–#the dialogues with Chuuya added to the character. Dazai attacking him. And especially Aktgw understanding that Rashomon wasn't testing Aktg#but rather only expressing that unstoppable rage that is also Aktgw's own. About that I checked out the play and I really liked it!!#I only watched highlights (aka: ss/kk and chuu/aku scenes) but there's some stuff I really like. I like the conflict between Aktgw and–#Chuuya and how Chuuya messes up with Aktgw at first maliciously and then amiably. It's interesting how Atsushi himself observes that Kyouka#and Akutagawa get along. And especially the sskk almost-handholding and Atsushi saying Akutagawa has a nice profile were cute akjdhbsawhjb#Next. Da really is shipping paradise (╥﹏╥) Sorry but... It is. oda/zai. daz/atsu. ss/kk. s/kk. fuku/mori. chuu/aku. It really has everythin#and the moments are so good!!!! What else. Wish we'd see more of Tsujimura. And Christie. And women in general tbh.#Also‚‚‚‚‚ Atsushi's tiger form in this movie is ATROCIOUS. I've said it before but it's crazy how a franchises that relies so heavily on–#fanservice came up with something this hideous. Man the movie overall was pretty but Atsushi sure wasn't. Firmly stand by the belief–#that only Akutagawa would find that form attractive.#Oh last note. honestly if we're ready to accept a movie where an antidote has effect AFTER the person has effectively died then we really–#can't complain about any kind of insanity the manga brings up#random rambles
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today i bring you family sleepy cuddles. tomorrow? who knows....
#probably not much since I've been trying to work on placeholder comic stuff and commission stuff over Other Stuff#pokemon#submas#ingo#submas au#fulcrum au#sneasler#akari#dad ingo#quilava#THEY ARE A FAMILY.... OUGH....... I SIMPLY ADORE TH. i love sleepy cuddles SO MUCH and particularly platonic sleepy cuddles#in this specific case hfkdhddn#when the. when. a family is a weird (arguably divine) girl and her funny little dog and her odd dragon-man dad and his wild animal friend#(she has adopted him as her own he just never realized it) (she's so proud of him for carrying on the tradition (adopted akari))#..... i also gotta draw companion piece with reshiremmet i think
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Adam, Eve, and Lilith. they’re my ocs now more lore in tags
#the lore:#they’re in an on off throuple#lilith is ofc adams first wive#from before adam (human) was split into two adam (man) and eve (woman)#so lilith is ‘whole’; in modern understanding she’s intersex &transfeminine#lilith and eve had an affair in the garden of eden#in which lilith tempted eve to eat the fruit; while yes persuaded eve wasn’t deceived to do this she made the choice for herself#then she gets sexy w adam and feeds him the apple.#not fully a free choice on his behalf moreso eve choosing what’s best (free will&the enlightenment from the fruit) for them as a unit#adam in a lapse of judgement blames eve. bad choice buddy your wife is always right#so when they’re kicked out they split for a little bit#adam rebounds with lilith and she provides for him and it’s comfortable but he misses eve#they’re together about half a year#meanwhile eve is praying and atoning and has been cultivating plants along a river#adam tries to see eve a couple times during this but she’s mad at him still#after 7months she’s ready to fotgive him provided he helps and hunts animals for them#while they are separated eve is approached by an ‘angel’ who is lilith in disguise. she cares for her and then they go to adam.#adam is like why do you try harming us what have i ever done to you and lilith is upset that he left her and that she was kicked from eden#they get away from her etc#they set up a permanent shelter and as a reward for reuiniting and pushing back ‘satan’ (lilith) he blesses them with a child —Cain#then they later conceive Abel on their own about 2years later#they have other children etc#after abel is killed by cain adam and eve get in a fight and things are tense and there’s another brief affair with lilith#it’s a three way thing to kind of act as catharsis#later later they have seth and that brings them back together#that’s most of it#my art#adam eve and lilith#adam and eve#artistic nudity
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when people say falin had “pretty girl privilege” with how people treated her autism are insane like, she wasnt at that magic school by choice, she was sent there by her father because everyone in their community shunned her. and when she was there everyone but marcille thought she was a weirdo and didn’t fuck with her so, literally what are y’all talking about
#like sure this is all more apparent in the manga but even in the anime you can Tell that being pretty got her nowhere#you can argue her autism was harder on falin Because shes a girl. at least laios left home by his own volition#falin was literally an Embarrassment to her father. enough to send her away for convenience. laios truly has to be mad for the both of them#just bc shuro is a stupid lovesteuck man doesn’t mean shes rly banking on Pretty Privilege#dungeon meshi#falin touden
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being a huge fan of tlou but also like. thinking that certain stories are built for certain mediums. like the entire theme of tlou2 is grounded and fresh because it’s a railroad/story video game that still affords you mechanical choices in how you navigate the world. i just don’t have a lot of confidence that presenting that story in a tv show with the minimal adjustments that they did in s1 will be fulfilling or compelling in any comparable way. because with tlou1 some of the like. beauty of that story was simply that it was such an emotive story contained in the medium of video games. and some of that was retained just by hitting similar or expanded emotional beats in the show, like the episodes that expanded on the life of the characters and the realities of that world. but truly so much of tlou2 emotional depth and ‘why does this story matter’ rests in the fact that’s it’s your hands on the controller, continually choosing to go forward in the story and have hope that it will work out in your-as-ellie-or-abby-or-somehow-booth’s favour. and you simply cannot get that in a non-interactive medium like television. like i do think tlou2 is a good story but it’s a good story because of the investment required by the player to keep pressing buttons and keep returning and to feel the adrenaline like responses of high intensity moments and be jarringly shifted into backstories that only increase the frustration. in general i’ve been thinking a lot about cross-medium adaptation and on the one hand i am glad that season 1 makes the story of the last of us more accessible to people who wouldn’t pick up a video game but it’s also like. maybe instead we can destigmatize video games as this inaccessible and dangerous medium a bit more instead of just . implicitly agreeing . like no maybe your mom won’t pick up a video game controller and play the last of us . but maybe you can play the game in the living room. sometimes the mediums that stories are told in aren’t just important but are actually foundational parts of how the information of a story is conveyed and that’s not only okay but is fucking fantastic. we should be happy actually that there are so many ways to collect a bunch of themes and ideas and put them together and hold them out to someone else and say “won’t you consider this with me. won’t you feel these emotions and care about these characters with me.”
#i’ve been thinking about this both for academic and personal reasons#where like. my thesis literally includes discussion of tlou2 and it’s profundity because of the players position as in control but without#real decision making power in the story#and it’s like. you’re the person animating these two ptsd ridden women who subject themselves to be puppets to their#own grief . and there’s something particularly resonant about the fact that you can’t change the Story. you can only play it.#and like . i’ve talked with my mom a lot about the last of us#since i played it the first time and it really just rocked my shit. and i remember walking out my bedroom after i’d finished tlou2#feeling that odd mixture of empty and completely fulfilled by a good story with tears in my eyes#and a few years later when i visited home and had happened to bring my ps4 along with me and i was having a rough time#my mom asked if i’d want to show her tlou. because she knew i loved it and because i’ve told her it has tropes she’d enjoy#but the only games she’ll ever play are point and click because she’s stubborn and some physicality stuff#but like i remember sitting on the couch just. playing this game and it wasn’t the exact same as her playing it herself . but sometimes her#commentary was like it was.#i just. idk man. tlou lover wants to be hyped but seeing the exact same visuals from the game just in tv show format is like#. what’s the point. why are you distilling the themes by removing the active (non)agency of the player and#replacing it with the passive role of ‘watcher’ in a story so emphatically about having an active role in the action#anyway#tagging this#tlou#for blog organization but this isn’t discourse or whatever just me thinkin my thoughts on my blog
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its kind of funny to me that in the comics supergirl kind of occupies the spot for like the edgy superman. which is kind of weird for her typical role as kid sidekick to superman because her thing as a character (at least the versions of her character that i like) is that she doesn't have a reason to help anybody and doesn't like earth. edgy superman. but she's also the kid sidekick. strange juxtaposition
#it obviously depends on which comic you're reading#cause like there are completely different versions of supergirl depending on which version we're talking about#there's like 3 different supergirls with 5 different backstories#there's the one where she's a kind of slime goop that mimics the form of a girl--that was matrix#that was the version from the 80s that continued into the 90s--the weird run that had like angels and demons and stuff#god that one was weird#then there was the main one which is kara zor el but she has like 3 different backstories on her own#there's the argo city one which is truly horrible where like she watches thousands of people die in front of her#that one was most recently used in the supergirl woman of tomorrow comic written by the vile tom king at least as far as i'm aware#then there was the pod version (the more popular one) which has two variations on its own#variation one was that she's actually older than superman but got stuck in suspended animation for like 25 years#and variation two where she's just younger than him and i don't know how that works#of course the argo backstory is also the pod backstory they're not incompatible#it does beg the question of which you think is more tragic:#waking up one day to find out everyone you ever knew is dead and gone or watching them all die slowly in front of you#anyway the third super girl is power girl who is super girl except older so she's power girl because they didn't do a 2 spider man thing#this is easy to follow right#oh right and apparently they made a completely new backstory for her in my adventures with superman though i never watched that#because i still have to finish the supergirl cw show which is ANOTHER version of her character where she's 24 instead of a teenager#which sounds like a small thing but it literally turns her into a completely different character#i mean like powergirl is a completely different character isnt she#what was i talking about? right i kind of liked new 52 supergirl at least the first few issues#i really liked the disorientation of “where am i who are these people where's my family” she goes through#shame it kind of sucked#i'm probably not going to finish the CW show by the way. i'll probably give up halfway through season 3 if we're being optimistic
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❗️NEWGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSANIMALSGLASSAN-
#glass animals#honestly i wore out dreamland sm my brain took a lonnng break from expecting anything from them?? idk i’m just huh????#like….. when i say wore out#i cannot describe how much i listened to it#i usually have some vague idea even if it’s a ridiculous number#like 52 times in a month for an album or something (has happened)#i cannot recall w this#gonna say bc 2020 & they were Literally the last band i saw live. next morning everyone found out about everything annd lockdown. no joke#so it was big dreamland time when it dropped and revisiting their past albums when i broke out of its spell lmao#(pretty sure before that like january was when i listened to déjà vu 100+ times in a row tho so oop. it was a tough day lol)#anyway seeing this aww man. i really have had this band with me for a long long time. 🥹 i remember hearing gooey on the radio one night#driving home from work late @ night in 2014. the drive was so short i couldn’t be arsed to fish out my ipod & plug it in#sometimes so just popped on a good station i had preset. started the car and heard this *voice* and i was like who????#had to check the station bc it was an alt station and i thought i had it on another one which was fine i was just v confused#it was in the middle of the song & i was immediately anxious to know the name hoping i’d hear it & it wouldn't just flow into the next song#then the dj would pile the names together after x number of songs played bc i was tiired (but woulda stayed in the car ngl). got lucky &#ran inside to find it then yelled at my roommate the next day that she HAD to listen to it during a smoke session after work#(i was right & it blew her miiind)#god. what a fucking time. what a fucking band. idk what the disc horse is surrounding them now since they blew up via tiktok#i’m sure people are v quick to say they’re overrated bc of that but idk & i’m glad i don’t know. they’ll always be this#highly inventive incredible band i stumbled upon for the perfect night drive home after a long long shift#a band that came back from a Horrible accident that should have ended 1 of their lives & somehow didn’t & should have ended them#as a band (like still cannot believe Joe was drumming in 2020 & i saw it with my own eyes like how tf???!?)#a band deserving of all of its successes. glass animals forever
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Did the stuff exchange 👍 that sucked 👍 wahoo
#speculation nation#i was very curt bc i just wanted to get it over with.#kinda wish id given her a piece of my mind but whatever#i did shut the door rather forcefully in her face. which hopefully said plenty.#and then i cried bc it just felt so Cold. a stark difference from the last time i saw her.#man ive come to accept it's probably for the best overall but the suddenness of it still sucks so bad.#also the 'i never actually loved you' thing. what an asshole thing to say.#she also missed one of the stuffed animals and it's one i wanted to have back Especially#bc it's a pair with one that i own. i want my little bee's axolotl friend back And i dont want her owning the other one of a pair.#she seemed to really love this deer before. said it gave her a lot of comfort to hug at night.#so i wanted it back especially too. i dont want her getting any more comfort from my prior affection for her.#i just hope that seeing me reminded her that im a real fucking person that she fucked over.#like yeah shes got her new 'love' yadda yadda yadda but she strung me along for 6 fucking months#then broke up with me over fucking TEXT. saying some incredibly insensitive things as she did so.#even if they were the truth. there are still some things that dont need said i think. especially to someone who has trust issues.#but most of all she shouldve fucking done it in person or At Least on the phone.#i told her plenty already how cowardly and horrible it was for her to break up with me over text#and i want to scream it from the rooftops and carve it into her tires#but i wont. because ive said it enough. and being too destructive wont make anyone happy.#not even me.#it just feels like such an injustice. and i feel so angry and hurt.#i can understand and accept that it's probably for the best that the relationship ended here#but that doesnt make the manner it was done hurt any less.#and jesus i thought i was the asshole for how i broke up with my girlfriend last year. at least i broke up with her in person!!!!#i didnt even get that. what a whole load of bullshit.#anyways im gonna play my samurai game. and focus the best i can on just moving on.
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Man..
#sorry i'm still upset about bridal sharena. like YEAH she's an incredibly powerful incredibly useful unit#pair her up w winter edelgard and the girlies are cleaning up tt maps extremely efficiently#and YEAH. she absolutely has nice art and huge win for the power of friendship. w veronica.#but man. it's like. i can't even enjoy my time w her.#due to. extremely specific things about me that are entirely a me issue and i can acknowledge that and own that.#it would probably feel less bad if like. sharena got literally anything else. in between now and her bunny alt.#like YEAH... she is the other half of the alfonse duo. which is the cutest shit and i love them so much#idk i know it's a non-problem. it feels dumb to make it a problem.#but genuinely like. i don't like using her w the animations on i don't really like checking the home screen dialogue#it's INTERESTING. for lore/characterization purposes. it's funny and charming bc ofc it is!!!#it's sharena and veronica ofc they're gonna be funny and charming!!!!!!! they are SO endearing to me#but god. i really do just. have problems. and it feels soooooo upsetting that like#my very specific problems are preventing me from enjoying WHAT SHOULD BE. something i should really like!!!!!!!#like there are NO problems w her!!!!!!!!!!!! the problem is ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm gonna thrup#why didn't intsys consult me about this. the unemployable shut-in who runs a semi-obscure tumblr blog. in america#unbelievable..#like would i sound insane if i said marriage is like a trigger for me. like completely seriously and unironically.#like. again. it is such a non-issue. and all of it is on me to choose what i engage w that IS how managing your triggers works.#please please pleeeease don't misconstrue anything i'm saying i'm being vulnerable. rn. and petty. super fucking petty.#and obviously i can just. not use her. or use her minimally. but that's really not my point here i'm not looking for solutions#i'm just. expressing how uniquely upsetting this situation is. w how intense my askr sib interest is#w the fact that sharena IS. absolutely one of my fave charas. i adore her completely and she means so much to me#this feels like. a saw trap. made just for me.#idk again there is no solution here and i fully acknowledge this is a skill issue and realistically not even a problem.#but like. can anybody hear me. it's so dark in here.
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MCD Rewatch S1 Ep29: Sasha of Meteli
Do you need to watch this? 8%
Is it fun to watch? 8%
Plot Summary: Aphmau returns to Meteli, learns some more about Sasha’s history there, then fuckin dips. She just leaves. Goes “I don’t know magic, have fun with being a chicken I guess” and hits the bricks. Okay.
Personal Notes:
nearly looks enderman in the eye
LAURANCE
SMOOTH
Aphmau and Laurance aren’t going to tell Hayden and Kenmur about Cadenza being a chicken because then CS would absolutely get killed
Laurance and CS are old friends, I want to know that story
at 3:26: “Even though I tend to be a little bit...forward sometimes. I truly care about what I do and those I protect. Even if they’ve gone off and made a small chicken village of their own.”
guard calls Aphmau out for stealing Hayden’s sword GOOD
sword returned GOOD
SASHA AND KENMUR WERE ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED??
Kenmur’s childhood town and family burned to the ground, rip. came to Meteli with a guard and has been there ever since
Sasha and Kenmur were in love, and Sasha had a noble heart. Then Sasha went to the nether to rescue the Lord and never returned.
“brief” (too long) return to CS house for inventory clearing and picking up some stuff left behind on accident last episode. CS not around, left a note saying he’s “out on business” thank god
the chickens talk btw. forgot to mention that
Aphmau simply leaving the town since she doesn’t know shit about magic to help Cadenza
going back to help cat lady
Aphmau REFUSING to connect the dots on the nether King corrupting guards, Sasha being a noble guard, Sasha going to the nether and disappearing, and Sasha being a liar who GIVES HER POISON. its frustrating. you cannot play a character this dumb. you’d need -2 intelligence, -2 wisdom, -2 charisma, hell i’d say -2 on ALL stats because to not make the connections happening here you must not have enough dexterity, strength, or constitution to support your brain
Aphmau gifted 4 more dogs by the plot
these animals will be neglected
#smth smth aphmau sees villagers animals and even her own baby as accessories and not as living beings with needs#just put it in your basement and coo over it for a second at the beginning of the episode#then move on#laugh off the man who died at your port#ignore the widow's grief#like i'll be real aphmau is awful#this character is Fascinating but she's also an awful person#and i don't get where people are coming from saying she was kind from the start#because this is not kindness#she has her whims and she acts on them#sometimes they benefit others but often they don't#she took a fox from the woods and trapped it in her basement#she kept her adopted son in a sideroom of that basement with no windows#she brings in new villagers so the town looks bustling but doesn't build them houses#DO YOU GET ME DOES ANYONE HEAR ME#AGH#TheGreatMCDRewatch#mcdS1E29#minecraft diaries
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Glory my bestie Glory
#keese draws#eternal gales#oc posting#oc#ocs#oc art#man it been Forever since I’ve last drawn her which is a shame she’s rly fun to draw#actually. idk if I’ve ever posted any art of her before? I’ve vaguely talked abt her but idk#but ya she’s one of the historical figures from my semi prequel story#I say semi cause it doesn’t rly directly relate to the main story of eternal gales just worldbuilding shit#but ya I love glory sm she’s just hanging out#she lives out in the marshes that surround the main cities#shes a chemist that has done a lot of work for underground medical communities#she also loves to study the wildlife of the marshes and even has tamed a few#it’s actually because of this that she’s still alive tbh#the animals themselves aren’t even That dangerous but since most living staliens in this society have never seen other animals in their#lives they are all incredibly unwilling to take the risk to take out someone who only lives on the edge of society anyways#she has done a Lot of rebel work in her time even before she got into medicine#for example she did a lot to contribute to the big movement towards individuality at the time#one big thing she did at the time though that was especially controversial was chose her own pronouns#an act that was only made more controversial by her choosing one that suggests power and high status#this combined with her long mane and low status as a food packager made her a big target of harassment even within activist communities#this is in fact why she moved out so far in the first place#she finds animals to be much better company in general and can’t deny being bitter towards the hypocrisy of some of her peers#but despite this she still wants society to move in a better direction so as she learns more and more she continues to share said knowledge#that’s what brought beetle and bugs to her door in the first place
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the fact that tv-eh interviewed the two guys who were nominated for mbav scripts but not the actual winner?? why??
#i would die on a cross 2 see what she had 2 say about revamped man.#apparently she has her own animated show now and im happy 4 her!!!
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I don’t remember much from the danganronpa end of hopes peak anime, nor do I remember liking it too much, but every time I think about the episode where Chiaki dies I kinda just have to lie down and cry for a minute 🥺
#danganronpa#havent seen it in years man but i remember watching it with a friend the first time#she had to run to the bathroom to compose herself cuz she was sobbing so much 😭#it fucked me up like at the time i dont even think i was that crazy about chiaki#this has changed over time shes like my second favorite character from the game now#but damn just like her being doomed from the start was so AAAAAA#cuz the big twist with her in dr2 was that she was an ai instead of a real living person#so when you see her in the flesh in the anime youre kinda like huh what? i thought she was just an ai??#and then it hits you that oh. oh no#and in the episode shes fighting so hard to make it through this death trap like she gets absolutely fucked up#if she survived shed need serious medical attention quickly#but despite everything she makes it to the exit and is greeted by her friends and teacher and its like OMG SHE DID IT#and then the rug is pulled out from under her and you the audience cuz no matter how much you route for her shes doomed#GIRL IS DOOMED BY THE NARRATIVE#but fuuuck the bit that always gets me is when izuru sees her dying#and shes just like pathetically sloshing around in her own blood trying to talk to the person he is inside#telling him that hes still loved by her despite everything theyve been through#and just fucking. izuru having no emotions no recollection of who this girl is just watches her die#AND DESPITE EVERYTHING HE STILL CRIES BECAUSE DEEP DOWN HES STILL THAT BOY HE USED TO BE#AND DESPITE EVERYTHING THATS CHANGED HE STILL LOVES HER AND HE DOESNT UNDERSTAND WHY#yeah lol something about that fucked me up lol
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i feel like i should change zeros actual name... since I didn't know Isaac was a hebrew name... and dont wanna convey the wrong message... but goddamn does "isaac charles winslow" roll off the tongue.
#when i say it in a medieval announcer voice it just. sounds so right. best if you roll your r a bit too on charles.#my ocs#zero#ik realistically it shouldnt matter- but i have some conspiracy brained people in my life who stalk me on here and i dont want#any conservative for even a second to come under some delusion that zero has nothing to do with them and has something to do w jewish ppl#bc i promise he has EVERYTHING to do with specifically christian conservatives.#im sure my siblings and father would love to pretend hes just a metaphor for my mom and gma. im sure thats what they so badly#want to believe is the case. but guys. i promise. hes WAY more inspired by yall :^) LMAO#controlling physically abusive nature? my dad.#weird manipulative shit and convincing people to hate me? my sister.#and if you know me i probably dont need to explain how hes like my brother and also dont want to bc its disturbing.#treating animals like creatures they get to control and own and treat however? all of them#tendency to threaten violence to you specifically if they're abusing you to shut you up? all of them#mom might have some issues but quite frankly most of the issues she had im 95% sure she accidentally absorbed from my dad#maybe not the emotional expression issues but everything else? yeah...#and struggling with expressing emotions doesnt make her the most evil person on earth.#personally id rather be around someone who struggles to express their emotions than someone who might try to start a fight with me#to prove im actually a man#just saying.
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I am never going to complain about Greek Duolingo again
I mean, I am. But still.
So, as some of you know, my family has been coming to this tiny Greek seaside village for several years. Just over a week ago I came out here with my mum, under the impression that early September, after the height of the summer heat, would be a good time to have a holiday. ANYWAY Storm Daniel had other ideas about that. Locally things are improving (I'm actually really pissed off about the disaster-porn tone of most English-language media coverage, but that's another post). The power is back on, there's running water most of the time, and though the latter is not drinkable, a truck from the government came and handled out free bottled water yesterday. But we are currently kind of stuck. Can't do tourist things. Can't go home. There aren't any local flights out until Saturday and the road to Thessaloniki is still closed.
So this evening, feeling kind of aimless and depressed, I go down to the nearest beach with a couple of binbags and start cleaning up in an effort to at least do something positive. I always try to do this at least once out here and obviously, after the storm, there's a lot more plastic and rubbish than usual.
At some point I find this large, round bit of metal - some kind of machinery part, I think -- that's too big for the bag, so I take it to the bins on its own, leaving the rubbish bag on the beach. And when I come back for it, something among the stones beside it moves.
Specifically, it pulls its head sharply inside its shell
So, meanwhile I've been trying to learn some Greek with the help of Duolingo.
I currently have a 33-day streak and... I have questions. Shouldn't I be able to use the past or future tenses by now? Shouldn't I be able to say "x is like y"? I can't do those things. But one thing I absolutely can say all day long is έχω μια χελώνα : I have a turtle.
This is far from the limit of Duolingo Greek's turtle-related content. "An obsession with turtles" is my mother's characterisation. I can inform you that the turtle is not a bird, and, improbably, that the turtle is drinking milk. I can introduce you to a turtle in company with a horse and an elephant. As far as Duolingo is concerned, it really is turtles all the way down.
Now this, you may be able to see, is not a turtle. It has claws rather than flippers. It is a tortoise. I know there are wild tortoises in Greece: my aunt once rescued a pair of them shagging in the middle of the road -- but that was up in the mountains. I've even seen one myself, but it was also on a road and very dead.
I am 95% certain they don't belong on beaches. There's nothing for it to eat, except, unfortunately, a lot of plastic. Even if it gets off the beach it will immediately find itself on a road where it could get hit by a car. I'm pretty sure it must have been washed down by the floodwater and has been just sitting there, dazed, ever since.
Now obviously the first thing I want to do on encountering this unusual animal is to go and tell my mummy, so I do. The tortoise immediately brightens her day. She agrees that the tortoise is not happy on the beach and needs to be taken somewhere safe. it gets surprisingly wriggly when picked up so we put it in a carrier bag with some grapes and cucumber and go looking for somewhere to rehome it.
We find a path leading up between the houses towards a likely-looking field, but before we get very far a dog in a yard goes berserk and a man's head pops over a fence and demands to know what we're doing. He does this in English, as evidently we're just that obviously tourists.
"I found a tortoise on the beach!" I explain. "We want to find somewhere to put it."
"A what," he asks.
"It's like a, you know," I begin and then to my astonishment I find myself saying... "μια χελώνα"
"Oh! A turtle!" he says.
"But from the land. δεν είναι χελώνα", [it is not a turtle,] I say, as I am worried he will tell me to put it back near the sea where I found it. As it turns out it actually IS a χελώνα, Greek does not distinguish between turtles and tortoises, but I don't know that; I can't even name the days of the week or identify any colours other than pink yet, give me a break.
The man's entire demeanour changes and thaws. He does not worry about my turtle-that-is-not-a-turtle conundrum. He knows where οι χελώνες come from and where η χελώνα μας belongs. He leads us through a gate into a courtyard area.
"[somethingsomething] μια χελώνα," he explains to the assembled onlookers, of whom there are, suddenly, a surprising number.
"ΜΙΑ ΧΕΛΩΝΑ!!!" crows the throng of delighted small children, who are, suddenly, everywhere.
"μια χελώνα!" I agree, accepting that at least for current purposes, that is what it is.
"Μπορούμε να δούμε τη χελώνα σας; [can we see your turtle?]" asks an adorable little girl, shyly, and I understand??
The children fucking love looking at the χελώνα and showing it to them is kind of magical?
I finally put the tortoise down on the grass of this wild area off to the side of the courtyard, and marvel aloud that it is weird that I barely know any Greek except how to say μια χελώνα.
"I think she will soon run off," a kind lady called Aspasia assures me, seeing I remain slightly anxious about its fate. "I don't know why I'm saying 'she'. I suppose because χελώνα is feminine in Greek."
"Yes! I know that!" I exclaim, thrilled.
"Well done!" she says. And also she asks if we are OK for drinking water after the storm and if we need any help with anything and is just generally incredibly lovely and now we know more of the neighbours!
So "μια χελώνα" has just become, by a long way, my most-used and most understood and all-around most conversationally successful phrase in Greek. So I guess I have to admit I was wrong to doubt Duolingo's wisdom: it is correct to be obsessed with turtles. And I concede that prior to learning how to count to ten or to distinguish right from left, the simple ability to yell the word TURTLE over and over again is, it turns out, a crucial element of the responsible traveller's social skills.
(I am pretty fluent in Italian and turtles haven't come up in conversation even once?)
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