#she has a crush on him now

[cloudynyims]

Flames and Sparks

Okay this is totally based on this post by @stupidgtblog and I just went for it. School is kicking my ass rn so writing will be few and far between but I just had to get this one out!!! Mentions of fire, and maybe some anxiety. 3.3k words I went crazy lol. Enjoy!!!

This was not how the first week at her new job was supposed to go. 

It had been a month since Melanie packed up her life and moved to one of the newly built integrated cities. These were made for humans and borrowers alike, taking into consideration accessibility and safety for the borrowers. As expected, not many borrowers were willing to move into these cities. So, the government offered housing discounts and opened up hundreds of jobs to entice people to make the move.

Melanie’s minimum wage job and noisy apartment made it easy for her to make the switch. If moving to an inter-city meant never having to hear her nosy neighbor’s kids yelling in the middle of the night, she was going to do it. It took her a while to find a job, but finally, she landed an intro position as a receptionist at a borrower office building. She started working earlier in the week.

So far, she hadn’t embraced the change of the inter-city very much. Her commute to work was a drive down a road too small for humans to use. Her job was in a borrower-only office building. Even her apartment had borrower-only housing options, which she gladly accepted. She had only heard or felt the quaking footsteps of humans, which made her jump every time.

Melanie wouldn’t say she was scared of humans, just slightly unnerved. She had never seen one in person before and only had preconceived notions from her parents and friends about what they were like. She knew they were big, obviously, but they varied greatly in personality. Some were gentle, mindful, and respectful of borrowers and their space while others were more curious, grabby, and less self-aware. It was mostly the random chance that Melanie didn’t like. She’d never know a human’s personality until it was too late. 

Even though she wasn’t making friends with giants, she was able to make friends with her coworkers. A few of them were new like her, and they bonded quickly. They often spent lunch breaks together, talking and chatting about their new work life and experiences being in an inter-city for the first time. It was during one such conversation at the end of her first week that chaos struck. 

One of the visiting ambassadors from a different city left his cigarette lit on the table before leaving a meeting with Melanie’s supervisors. The cigarette lit the desk papers on fire, and the rest of the room quickly followed. The fire alarms blared. Melanie and the others were still in the break room several floors up. They covered their ears, unsure if the alarm was a drill or an emergency. 

Just then, a supervisor ran into the break room. “Fire! Everyone stay calm! This is not a drill! Do not panic! Everyone evacuate immediately!” she yelled as she ran through the room, exuding anything but calmness. 

The room descended into chaos. The panicked new hires began running around collecting their belongings while trying to find the exit stairways. There was yelling, screaming, and people desperately calling their families as well as the authorities. People were crashing into each other and breathing heavily, wasting the precious fresh air that was slowly getting thinner. The temperature in the room was rising as the fire steadily climbed the floors of the office building. 

Melanie had unwillingly chosen fright as opposed to flight during this ordeal. Her mind was struggling to process the chaos as she stood amidst the people bustling to get out of the building. 

“Which way is the stairwell?”

“Oh god, are we all going to die?”

“Someone call the fire department!”

“Stop, drop, and roll!”

“No, we have to get out of here first!”

It was all too much. Melanie blinked blankly until someone harshly bumped against her in the frenzy, startling her out of her stupor. Suddenly, she became hyper-aware of her situation. She needed to go, to get out of here, now. The air was getting hazy and dry. Melanie stumbled a little but eventually picked herself up and began following the other office workers toward the door. Once she exited the break room, it was utter chaos among the cubicles. People were running in every direction and yelling over each other. 

With all the people running, it was becoming difficult for Melanie to breathe and move. She didn’t know the building well enough to know where she was going or where the emergency exit was. But she needed a breather. She needed to clear her head. The floor was starting to get hot and ash was filling the air. This made getting her bearings difficult to do. 

Melanie pushed and broke through the crowds towards a door she knew led to a conference room. She touched the door hesitantly, testing if it was hot to the touch. Upon confirming the door’s temperature, she thrust it open and closed it behind her. She took a moment to breathe. 

Now that she had a chance to look around, she could tell the building was in bad shape. She coughed from the ash in the air and could feel the heat radiating from the floor. It wasn’t enough to burn, but it was uncomfortable, to say the least. The building groaned under its own weight as the fire weakened the supports of the walls. Melanie briefly wondered if anyone had actually called the fire department. Shouldn’t they be here already?

As soon as the thought entered her head, she felt it. The distinct tremors of human footsteps approaching the office building. But these weren’t the casual walking steps that she heard before. It sounded like an earthquake that rolled across the ground. These humans sounded like they were running, and there were a lot of them. She peeked out the window, and her jaw dropped at what she saw. 

So many human firefighters, dressed in the typical black uniform with neon green stripes, all RUNNING toward the building. ‘So someone did call the authorities,’ Melanie thought glumly in her head. The humans were huge, bigger than she ever could have imagined in her head. Their footsteps were so strong that she worried their steps would knock over the fragile, burning office building. 

Melanie was frozen, watching the humans get closer. She couldn’t wrap her head around the situation. ‘Aren’t their borrower firefighters? I know it’s an inter-city, but won’t these humans just knock over the building completely? Shit, I really need to get out of here.’ With a harsh cough, she turned toward the door and exited the conference room. 

There were still a good amount of people in the room but far fewer than before. They were mostly lost new hires trying to figure out how to exit the building, opening random doors to try and find stairwells. However, going downstairs was quickly becoming less accessible as the fire climbed, the floors grew hotter, and the air became dryer and more contaminated with ash and debris. Now, everyone, including Melanie, was trying to climb up.

The pounding of the human footsteps had been ringing in Melanie’s ears since she heard them approach. Her frazzled mind tried to find a staircase while also trying not to focus on the burning building or the giant humans looming outside. Then, she finally heard the earth-shattering voices coming from the humans outside.

“Everyone, please stay calm. We are here to rescue you and help evacuate. Please get to the closest window so that we can assist you. Everything will be alright,” one of the humans, the fire captain, if Melanie had to guess, explained. His voice was so loud and carried such force that it sent chills up Melanie’s arms and legs. 

Logically, she knew that following his words was her best chance of surviving. But for some reason, she just couldn’t. She couldn’t get past how everything about these humans was gigantic. Their faces, hands, clothes, and actions were all just scaled up. It was an intimidating sight to someone like Melanie who had never seen a human before. 

She could hear the fire captain yelling instructions to the rest of the firefighters. His voice rang out again. “Marcus, clear the lower floors. The rest of division 2, immediately start helping with evacuation. Calista, help me stabilize the building. And division 1, help ensure the rescued borrowers are faring well and perform any first aid necessary. As soon as possible, we need to clear this building. Understood?”

The firefighters chorused in agreement and the footsteps began anew as they all went to their designated assignments. Melanie watched in awe as the humans moved about, their uniforms blurred as they moved about, rescuing borrowers from the building. 

Melanie stopped watching the firefighters and realized just how dire her situation had become. The floor she was on was becoming unbearably hot, and her shoes were close to burning completely. The glass windows had deformed and shattered. Ash filled the air and clouded her vision. Melanie stumbled from room to room, trying to find a staircase or anyone else still in the building. 

To her dismay, there wasn’t anyone around anymore. Everyone else had found a way up or down or had been evacuated. Melanie’s heart raced from fear and the debris in the air. Her lungs heaved as she tried to greedily suck in the uncontaminated air. How was she doing to get out of here?

Melanie crawled into a corner office and tried to get closer to the window. As much as she was uncomfortable around humans, she didn’t want to die in a fire in her first week on the job. “He… help!” She wheezed as she tried to press herself against the window that had somehow not cracked yet. “Help me, please…” she whispered. From her vantage point, she could see the fire captain holding up the building. 

‘Would the building have collapsed if he wasn’t there?’ Melanie thought absently. And then, as if he could hear her thoughts, he turned to look at her. There was a brief silence where the world seemed to pause. Melanie took in his features. He had brown skin, perhaps a shade lighter than her own. His face was young, but confident, as if he was sure of his ability to perform his job perfectly. A few loose, black curls stuck out from underneath his helmet, and some freckles adorned his nose bridge. Maybe they were too small to see for humans, but Melanie could see each individual one. 

And his eyes, a normal brown, looked so different to Melanie. Her own eyes were brown, but she had never seen such details on brown eyes. They held so much emotion. Their size amplified everything about them. They were beautiful; she would have taken note if she had a brain cell to devote to such whims at the time. 

Instead, she peeled herself away from the window and crumpled down to the floor. The ash and lack of oxygen filling her lungs were finally catching up to her racing adrenaline. She coughed heavily as she greedily sucked in the air. The fire captain completely forgotten, Melanie focused on just staying alive at this point. The world was beginning to blur. Voices could be heard but she couldn’t discern them well.

A clear voice pierced her cloudy train of thought. “Hey. Listen, I’m going to get you out of there, okay? You’re going to be fine. Just keep breathing for me.” The voice was softer than before but undeniably was the captain’s voice. Melanie raised her head to peek back out the window. He was no longer holding the building but had come to be eye level with the window she was next to. And he was talking to her. Her entire body hurt, but she managed to give him a small nod, letting him know she understood.

He cracked a smile that eased her nerves slightly. “Alright. Hold on there, darling. I’m going to have to break the window to get to you. Do you think you can move a little ways away for me? Wouldn’t want to hurt you with the glass shattering,” he offered calmly. He smiled as he talked, which only served to make Melanie more frazzled. Now was not the time to be focusing on things like that.

Again, she mustered a nod. She begged her limbs to cooperate, and surprisingly, they did. With an immense effort, she crawled further away from the window, coughs rattling her tiny frame as she moved. She could feel the captain’s eyes on her, but not in a piercing way. His gaze was concerned, his expression soft. From her new position, she could only see his eyes. They visibly crinkled as he looked at her, and Melanie could tell he was smiling. 

“Thank you,” He said softly. “Hold still, I’m getting you out of there.” Melanie watched through watery eyes as his giant hand approached the window. The window didn’t stand a chance. He gently tapped the glass and it immediately shattered. Melanie flinched and curled up into a little ball at the sound. As nervous as she was, she wanted nothing more than to be out of this hot, ashy, burning building. If letting this human carry her was the only way to safety, she was going to let it happen.

His gloved hand reached through the window, outstretched toward her. Melanie only noticed when she felt his textured glove wrapping around her. She could feel every fiber of his uniform. Although it was slightly uncomfortable and a bit scratchy, she preferred it to the hot office floor. His hand was warm, but not nearly as hot as the building. Carefully and gently, he pulled her out of the window to safety.

Melanie could tell that he was slowing his motions for her, and she greatly appreciated it. She wasn’t in a state to deal with any dizzying speeds. Now that she was out of the building, she finally took a breath of fresh air. She sat there in his palm, just catching her breath and getting her bearings. Her heart was still racing, but she was grateful to be out of danger.

The fire captain slowly raised his hand up to his face. She turned to face him and was once again staring into his deep brown eyes. His face was slightly more round, but still had a nice shape. “There we go. You’re safe now,” he whispered. She felt his gaze sweep over her as he checked her over, but she was too shy to meet his eyes. Instead, her eyes wandered over his uniform, noting the various details that adorned it. In her perusal, she found the last name that was written on his jacket: Ellis. 

“You’re okay. You’re covered in ash, inside and out, but you’ll be alright. I’m glad I got to you in time,” Captain Ellis continued. Melanie tried to offer a thank you, but she only ended up coughing harshly. He could feel her body shaking from her coughs and he quickly intervened. “No, no, just focus on breathing. Don’t worry about talking right now. You’re safe. I got you, just breathe.”

Melanie felt a gentle touch on her back. He had reached out a finger to ever so carefully rubbed her back in an attempt to soothe her. It worked, leaving Melanie with butterflies in her stomach. How could someone so huge be so gentle? That same finger soon brushed particles of ash from her cheeks, his touch as delicate as a feather. She could feel herself relaxing as he continued, grateful to have some comfort after what just happened.

“Let’s go somewhere a bit safer,” he mused as he began to walk away from the smoldering building. He lowered his hand to chest height and held her close. His finger continued to stroke her back, offering a bit of solace. Melanie could feel herself relaxing more and more in his grip. Captain Ellis’ presence felt… comforting. After only knowing him for a few minutes, she could tell he genuinely cared about her.

Melanie had never been held by a human before, and now that she had calmed down a little she was taking the time to see the view. She looked around and realized just how high up she was. If she was being honest, she was a bit intimidated by the vastness of the city skyline from this new perspective. She scooted closer to the captain’s chest to feel more secure. As she looked up, she could see the ghost of a smile playing on his face. Her heart flipped again. Even though she couldn’t see his whole face from her vantage point, she knew his smile fit his face perfectly. 

While Melanie was lost in her thoughts, Ellis hadn’t stopped talking. His voice was calming, only helping Melanie to relax more. Around the time she zoned back in, he was going over some details about the fire“… we’ll figure out how the fire started later. Everyone else made it out okay, if you were wondering. They’re just a little ways away. We’re almost there.” The gloved finger that had been stroking her back gently tapped her head a few times to grab her attention.

He looked down at her, his smile on full display.  Melanie was grateful her blush didn’t show on her cheeks. “I’m Cameron Ellis, captain of station 151. And who might you be, darling?” He asked. 

There it was again. That nickname. Darling. All Melanie felt were butterflies. However, she pulled herself together enough to give him a response. “I’m—“ she cleared her throat, her voice still hoarse from the ash in her lungs. “I’m Melanie Brooks,” she told him. 

Cameron nodded in acknowledgment. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Melanie. I wish we could’ve met in different circumstances, though,” he said with a little chuckle. His laugh, deep and rumbling, suited him perfectly. It sent goosebumps down Melanie’s arms, and she wasn’t complaining. 

She stifled a laugh of her own. “Likewise,” she said her voice a little stronger now. “Thank you for saving me. I… I’m not sure what I would’ve done if you weren’t there,” Melanie said, a grateful smile playing on her lips. 

“Well, someone else in this squad would have saved you. I’m just lucky that I was the one to have that honor,” he said cooly. The two fell into comfortable small talk until they reached the area where the other borrowers and firefighters had gathered. Cameron slowly squatted down and lowered his hand to the floor. He made her feel so safe. Melanie almost didn’t want to get off. Nevertheless, she slid off his palm back onto the ground with the other borrowers.

Cameron gestured toward the borrower paramedics who also were at the scene. “They’ll make sure you’re okay and fix you up if not. You’re in good hands now.” He made a move to stand up but squatted back down. “If you ever need anything, you let me know,” he said warmly. Melanie nodded, her cheeks hot but not flushed. Satisfied with her response, Cameron stood up and began directing his divisions once again. 

Melanie watched him walk away as his footsteps shook the ground beneath her. Oddly enough, it didn’t bother her this time. She smiled to herself before walking over to the paramedics with the other borrowers. She was feeling a little beside herself, and she wasn’t sure if it was because of the fire or Cameron. Regardless… she’d have time to see him again since she was on the job hunt again. Who knows? Maybe Cameron’s fire station needed a receptionist…

ENDINGS ENDINGS ENDINGS one day I will get better. anywayssss I'm sorry it took so long and lmk what you think!

[alpacacare-archive]

day twoe ah haha

[bluerosefox]

Dinner?

Feeling a bit Spirit Halloweenish.

Danny blinked, stared blankly, blinked again before slowly very slowly closed his front door.

A few seconds later Danny opened the door again and once again meet a certain tallish young man, around his age if maybe a few years older, in front of him...

Who was it?

Bruce Wayne....

Bruce freaking Wayne, someone according to what he heard from Sam telling him from what she heard from her parents had apparently just dropped out of med school and was 'in the wind' according to rich elite gossip talks, was at his front door.

........

Why?

Wait... Did he just ask Danny out on a date?

-x-x-

Bruce Wayne has just dropped out of med school and is beginning his training into becoming the person his city needs him to become. While looking into where he can he remembers how in his teen years the planet was almost destroyed but was saved by a ghost teen hero and looks into it. He digs deep to uncover what happened, uncovering impressive firewalls Amity Park has, etc and finds out about Danny Fenton/Phantom.

He decides to go visit the younger man, who is just about to start college himself, and ask a few questions.

He uhhh... Bruce just wasn't expecting to find Danny very cute (even though he was pretty certain Phantom had been his first male crush when he saw a photo of the teen years ago), and adorable with his owlish stare, and well the first words out of his mouth was

"Would you mind joining me for dinner?"

-x-x-

[bacchuschucklefuck]

this has been a roller coaster of a design journey but finally I can present you: class swap artificer!adaine and rogue!fabian

[artiststarme]

Steve and Robin lose their job at Family Video in the wake of that fateful Spring Break but not for the reasons one might think. It wasn’t because they closed early on one of their busiest days to track down the town’s infamous ‘murderer’. It wasn’t because they skipped their shifts for four days in a row. It wasn’t even because they told Keith to his face that ‘they would rather die in the earthquake and fall into hell than work another boring shift’.

No, they lost their jobs because of a grudge they kept. Both Steve and Robin refused to sell any tapes to anyone they thought may have been involved with Eddie’s manhunt, unfair people’s trial, or the continued harassment after he was proclaimed innocent. Justifiably, they had their reasons.

“Oh no Andy, we can’t let you rent this one. You’ve already lost enough brain cells being brainwashed by Jason. Maybe watch the news or something.”

“Mrs. Wheeler? You absolutely may not rent anything. Maybe go call the police again since that’s what you like doing.”

“Oh ho ho, Officer Callahan! Funny to see you here, you know, not hunting down children. Get out of here. Come back when you have a warrant, asshole.”

So yes, they lost their jobs but not their dignity. Inevitably, when they went back to the Munson’s new trailer or to Steve’s empty house, they had what really mattered. They could watch the movies off of tapes they stole, Steve could cuddle in Eddie’s scarred arms, and Robin could rant about how many films would be better with lesbians in them. As it should be.

(They lose a series of jobs after Family Video as well. Robin and Steve get fired from the diner, the library, and Melvald’s all for refusing business to the asshats that made Eddie’s life hell. Because in their eyes, the whole town could suck it.)

[galactaknightyaoi]

It's my OCs' first birthday today, yippie!! They're enjoying their birthday with some tiny company and a horribly baked cake. But it's the thought that counts!

These are Pai, Aurelio, and Lizzie. They are a couple and run a diner together in the low suburbs of Halcandra. Their shop also serves as a safe space and shelter for other Star Borns just like them.

They also tend to take in the more little ones of their kind, soon after they've first formed. They look after them and teach them stuff, before letting them go to live independently. But they're always welcome back in their house! Be it for shelter, or a nice cup of coffee.

More about them under the cut. Be warned it gets kinda long.

Pai's ability is Cook. When he was little, he used to use his ability to make food to share with his whole neighborhood as a way of uniting everyone.

Since then he's been steadily building towards a goal, to open his very own Diner. He wanted to create a space for his community to thrive in, though he was severely disadvantaged in such a large city.

He's not one to give up and he always looks on the positive side of things. He tends to spoil the kids they look after with treats, and has a hard time saying no, so he often takes on more than he can handle.

He is the one that looks after the well-being of the kids, and generally, things that require a bit more... Tact. He looks after them when they're sick or injured, which is how he ends up meeting future GSA founders Arthur, Erebus, and Anansi.

Aurelio grew up in a scrapyard with 6 others of their kind, being kept there as guard dogs for the paranoid old man who owned the place. They were encouraged to fight each other for fun, which is how they got the scar across their face.

When they got too big and troublesome, most of them were kicked out of their home and left to fend for themselves.

Aurelio's Spear ability eventually landed them a job as a Knight for Halcandra's elites, where they worked alongside a few of their friends. Their job was to guard the meeting room and defend their assignment from threats.

A few years into this job, they and other soldiers were given a mission. A pair of dragons were nesting at the bottom of the Haldera Volcano, they had to get them out. Dragons are calm if not provoked, so relocation shouldn't be difficult...

As it turns out, the dragons were a mated pair. A male and a female, and they were viciously protecting their egg clutch.

In the battle against the dragons, Aurelio was injured and burned by fire, but their natural fire immunity allowed them to be one of the few survivors. Nevertheless, the Knights were successful in their mission and managed to drive the dragons out.

The 4 eggs that weren't crushed during the battle were passed off to the Ancients for research. They became the Guardian Angel Landia later on.

She was forced to retire from Knighthood at age 31. Due to the lasting effects of their injuries, Aurelio is the one who spends most of the time with the children. For better and for worse.

Because of their childhood, they have very skewed ideas of how to treat children. She'll often put them in dangerous situations unintentionally since she has no frame of reference to tell her that taking kids out to the Gator Pond isn't a very good idea.

Aurelio teaches the rougher life lessons. They've been through quite a bit, so they want the kids to learn how to defend themselves, and to be careful and not have others take advantage of them.

She does most of the disciplining and the one that gives timeouts and other such punishments. She is of the opinion that sometimes rough love is necessary to set someone straight. She's calm and loving, but a bit stuck in the old way of doing things.

Lizzie, real name Angeliz, is a 2-time college dropout who grew up upper class despite her species' disadvantage. She never had many friends growing up, since other kids didn't really like her, and resigned herself to being what her parents wanted her to be.

She tried to study medicine but quit after 2 years. Not wanting to further disappoint her parents, she went into law. Which she also hated but tried to commit to finishing despite how miserable it made her.

Meeting Pai and Aurelio helped her get through the year, but after Aurelio was injured, she quit law and started living with them. She helped Pai balance his business with taking care of Aurelio and eventually used some of the money she still had left to give Pai's Diner the little push forward it needed.

Despite the many etiquette classes she took as a child, Lizzie completely lacks social skills. She's a total disaster, especially when talking to someone she likes. Once she gets comfortable, her true personality starts to shine through.

She's a huge slob and kind of vulgar despite her cute appearance. She's easily angered and does not like to be teased, which makes putting up with bratty kids more difficult for her.

She tends to treat kids as little adults instead, which causes her to not be very mindful of their sensitivities. Even when in a good mood, trying to do her best, she always ends up saying the wrong thing and makes everything worse.

She handles the business aspect of their Diner, crunching numbers and reading over legal documents. She's really smart and knowledgeable, so she's the one who tends to teach kids reading, writing, and math.

Her ability is Bubble. She never used to like it, it was silly and useless to her, so she kept it hidden for years. After meeting her partners and becoming happy, she's started blowing bubbles more frequently. The kids love them.

[ozzo-the-wozzo]

Trying to explain Adrien’s subplot in miraculous to anyone but it’s literally just this:

[magicalgirlmascot]

I was like "oh I'm gonna date Balor specifically so I can find out what his fucking deal is" and anyway I love him now

[moeblob]

Rice. From my plot that's literally just a game of chess. (he's a rook)

[vigilskeep]

if you took a bad enough hit while dao rock armour was active, could you have scars from blunt force trauma that spiderweb like cracks in stone

[artsycooky13]

top 3 fave bbys in the burrito show (bonus SUPER LONG tags on how i feel bout the characters)

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Both my parents actually suffer from HORRID emotional dysregulation and are prone to snapping and going into rages. My sister is the same way tbh. I am now realizing this is why they are constantly baffled by the question of whether or not I am mad at them.

I don't have external meltdowns.

I could. I don't let it happen.

I keep my rage on the inside and stay pretty quiet about it. It's just as strong as theirs [physically shaking nose bleed from high blood pressure kind of bad], but like as a kid I saw how terrifying it was to be around [dad breaking dishes, mom putting our lawn chairs into walls] and I just internalized that I wasn't going to wear that anger on the outside.

So my mother genuinely cannot tell if I am just being quiet or if I am silently hearing the dial-up noises of pure rage. This has lead her to both making strong and confident statements like "You are a pacifist who would never hurt a fly U.U" but also acting like I am secretly dangerous maybe... It's because she has never seen me snap.

She knows what her temper is like [throwing chairs through walls], she knows what my father's temper is like [pick up child and toss out door], and she can tell I am being tested, but she doesn't know what happens when I snap or where that breaking point is.

Her -perhaps unhinged- solution to this, my whole life, has been to do things that should obviously enrage me or shut me down completely, like ignoring important boundaries, repeatedly, punishing me for expressing emotions or needs at all, etc... And then to constantly ask me if I am angry with her when I get too quiet [right after near directly telling me to shut up].

It has occurred to me now, they have never once seen me lose my temper, so they literally just can't tell if I am angry at them. My sister is easy, my mother fights and screams with my sister constantly, my mother understands this. My mother doesn't have any grasp of feelings or boundaries that are not screamed at her [apparently, and I fear my sister is the same way]. Her and my sister are close despite constant fucking fighting because they understand each other.

They are trying to get me to engage the same way and it is not working. I realize now that this has been hard for them.

I was so successfully taught to suppress my emotions, by being punished for any outburst, that rage quiet looks the same as any other kind of quiet from the outside. To them anyway.

I did tell her. For the record. I used my words. I did tell her very calmly that my response to rage, in order to avoid doing the things that terrified me as a child, was to simply leave [the autistic urge to GTFO]. When a situation or person causes too much of the dial-up rage noise, I simply extract myself from that situation, up to and including never speaking to a person again. I explained this calmly. I explained it calmly 100 times and I explained that I explain myself calmly as my rage response 1-5 [also pretty much every other negative emotion tbh], and I told her that what came next was me simply opting out and fucking off. I told her this. I couldn't understand why she never took me seriously, or why she never fucking understood.

I couldn't understand what made her like this.

But it's the same problem I have with everyone else multiplied by a factor of 10.

If I am explaining myself calmly, they can't understand that it's actually serious or that I am actually upset. ESPECIALLY because they read me as "female" and women "aren't that rational" so if I am not screaming and crying about something, which I never do, people assume I can't be upset and it isn't serious.

And then after having my boundaries ignored too many times despite having calmly explained how and why it's a problem [shaking inside or not]... I leave. I leave and everyone gets upset like this is unexpected behaviour, even though I told them 50 times that is how I would respond if they kept doing *the thing.*

And for neurotypical people especially, they are expecting there to be a disconnect between what someone says they need or feel and what their actually boundaries and feelings are, and they expect the latter to be demonstrated with emotions. Telling them bluntly you do not function that way somehow never helps?

My mother isn't just looking for normal yelling or a few tears to know I am serious, whether or not I do those either [I don't], she's looking for an explosion to know there's a problem at all.

Fucked if I know how she proceeds through life this way in general or if this is just her expectation of her own kids???

And I couldn't get why my mother couldn't read my emotions and didn't seem to think I have any. It's because she's testing for the rage limit to see where my 'actual' limit is instead of taking my word for it. Never the fuck mind that she could simply *not* test at my boundaries instead of letting me have them. Separate issue.

I couldn't figure out what made her *like this*

She's expecting me to throw a giant meltdown violent tantrum at people when I have 'actually' had enough. Maybe she got away with those being like 5'4" in another time, but I am the size of the average man, I do not get to have giant screaming rages, whether or not people perceive me consciously as a woman, and least of all because a lot of people -at least unconsciously- read me as 'masculine' or at least always "they guy" of the situation compared to all other women and some men [bigger stronger and more rational, more able to just absorb the damage and let it go so the less rational screaming/crying one doesn't have to be dealt with]. Even if it was in me to be willing to terrify people [usually never], there are such limited instances where it wouldn't just blow back on me. Potentially very dangerously.

I am going to be the quiet calm one. You are going to have to let me use my words, bitch.

So she kept ignoring my boundaries until I had to cut her out of my life, and she probably doesn't understand and probably thinks it feels sudden -after 36 long years of bullshit- abrupt and unfair.

But I told her hundreds of times.

I probably should have just screamed at her.

[romance-rambles]

[modern] cael | red dress, white dress

After Cael picks up a new hobby relating to your latest work, the two of you discuss weddings and wedding dresses. It ends with a proposal, from you to him.

1.8k, set after qixi [+ some spoilers for his whisper], romantic fluff + super self-indulgent, reader is mc, sequel to this cael fic [but you don't have to read it in order], series: none

IN THE TIME SINCE THE night of the QIxi festival, Cael has discovered an amusing new hobby with which to occupy himself with, when he's with you.

The words that the painter and the spirit speak—particularly towards end of your oneshot—are, evidently, not unrelated to your relationship with him. That much is obvious. And it'd be rather difficult to claim otherwise, given the faces they wear.

You haven't tried to, either.

Between the two of you, there is an acknowledgment, implicit, that they are a reflection of your innermost thoughts and desires. That they are the kind of daydreams that even someone eloquent as him would find difficult to describe, domestic and loving—just tumultuous enough to describe their standing, with the sort of fairytale ending most would wish for. That they are memories, transformed only in setting and time—only this time, they are not newly acquainted or on a time limit.

He thinks of the quaint little moment where the painter promises to make sure that no one will bother his lover. Had he not done the same for you, once, long ago?

He remembers the casual affection the spirit showers upon her love too, the way she finds herself with her head on his lap underneath the wisterias, and if that ever stops feeling familiar, it must be because he's lost his mind.

After all, you've always been an affectionate person. How can he miss it when the evidence remains in the lingering heat left by your touch? Through the way you so easily take his hand, or throw your arms around him—

When your lovesick gaze isn't boring holes into his body, that is.

He's no better in that regard. In some ways, he thinks he might be worse, with the way his loving gaze seems incapable of following anyone but you. But you might turn it into a competition if he brings it up, so Cael—well aware it won't end well for him—keeps his mouth shut.

Still, it's clear that you never expected him to start quoting your dialogue back at you.

It reminds him of one of the first times he'd properly let his mask down. The way the gears turned in your head, your deer-in-headlights expression betraying your panic before he'd clarified his joke. You'd stared at him—half-relieved, half-surprised, sitting in the silence a bit longer before you laughed.

Today, when you stare at him, there is a hint of defiance peeking through from underneath your flustered mien.

You're dressed casually, in a yoga pants and an oversized t-shirt with one of your favorite cartoon characters. Jagged lines run across the drawing, signaling its age. Some parts of the design have entirely vanished, but it remains one of your most faithful companions still.

With your head on his lap and legs thrown over the armrest, you're sprawled across the couch. In your hand is your phone, and before he dropped his line of the day on you, you'd been showing him a red dress that you really liked—one you intended to buy with your next paycheck.

"Thank you." The effect of your haughty tone is greatly lessened by the scarlet hue painting your cheeks. You clear your throat. "Does that mean you'd like to see me in a red dress?"

Cael chuckles, brushing your hair gently. "To me, it seems like you're the one who wants to be seen in a red dress."

"Of course, I do," you reply, your hand reaching out to play with his hair. "But red or white, it's not the dress that matters. As long as there's a certain someone waiting for me at the end."

For a moment, his quick-thinking mind betrays him, offering him nothing but static. He puts down the book in his hand down and carefully adjust the bookmark until it looks neat. His attention had left its crisp pages when you'd sat down beside him, but it remained in his hand still.

Occasionally, he would flip to the next page, then remember that he had absorbed none of the words on the previous page. So, he would go back, a fact that had not escaped your keen gaze—you'd teased him plenty for it, and who was he to stop you?

"I wonder who that certain someone is," he murmurs.

"I think he knows who he is," you answer, holding onto the end of his now braided strands. After a moment of digging around in your pockets, and the sofa as well, you managed to find a hair tie. "Or, he should, by this point."

"Indeed," Cael says, earning himself a wry smile from you. "It would be difficult to miss."

Enamored by your smile, he sifts through his memories, searching for the line that had left every single reader in desperate search of their own painter.

You'd been rather pleased when you went scrolling through the comments, with a smile so big it bordered on evil. So pleased, in fact, that you made sure to show him every such comment. The underlying meaning to your words was clear—you'd already found your painter, after all.

You'd have a big ego if you were dating someone so pretty too, you'd said, when he'd commented offhandedly on it.

He remembers responding with:

Then I'm certain I have the biggest ego out of anyone.

Though, his words ended up only disarming you for a brief second. It wasn't long before you were throwing your arms around him and calling him a liar ". But for the time being, the comment section was forgotten, and it was just you and him—and Beanie, watching you both from his favorite spot underneath the round table in the corner, seemingly miffed at being excluded.

He had snuck in a few extra treats for him.

Then, all was well in their relationship once more.

"'If that day ever comes, no matter what you want—'" Cael smiles helplessly, remembering the way you'd so easily captured his expression on the painter's face. "'I'll do everything in my power to bring you the most elegant wedding in the entire world.' Though you said the dress itself doesn't matter..."

You inhale sharply, seemingly forgetting—for a moment—that you're in the middle of braiding another section of his hair. When you look back at him, having looked away, your eyes are shining with poorly-disguised affection and your voice is painfully soft.

"When," you correct. "When that day comes. That's what I should've written down."

Letting go of his hair, you pull yourself off his lap and draw your knees closer to your chest. You rest your head on his shoulder. And as loose dark hair begins to tickle his cheek, his hand seeks out yours, pinky finger brushing against the back of your hand.

"When that day comes, we'll get married."

His gaze softens when he looks at you, in the midst of murmuring his agreement. Your wedding is something he's thought about often—his own is not. But now, the groom at the altar is no longer a blurry figure, devoid of any recognizable qualities and having only an aura of happiness that befits a day so celebrated.

It is something he'll ponder over until the day comes, all so that you're the happiest bride to ever live, whether on Earth or any other world.

"Good." You squeeze his hand gently. "Consider it a proposal then."

"It's the first time I've ever been proposed to," he comments offhandedly.

"Really?" For some reason, you sound surprised. And though your words sound like they could pass for a joke, the thoughtful note to them makes it clear that they are not. "Alright, I'm taking it back. I'll make sure to come back with a ring next time."

Cael smiles helplessly at you. "I'm not sure if you can take something like that back so easily."

His breath catches in his throat when you lift your head slightly to meet his gaze. Because in that moment, you're smiling at him brightly, It is blinding. While he's distracted, you lean in close and steal a quick kiss from his lips.

"Temporary measure," you respond, squinting at him in faux annoyance. "You're not getting rid of me so easily."

In a voice so soft that he's half certain you'll miss it, he says, sincerely, "I would never dream of it."

Judging by the way your smile widens into a grin, you don't miss it at all.

+extra

"YOU KNOW, YOU MISSED IT BEFORE," you point out unexpectedly, long after they've moved on from the topic of weddings and wedding dresses.

Cael catches onto the context immediately.

It's past dinner time now. The dirty dishes in the sink wait for you and your yellow rubber gloves patiently for their turn. He'd been the one to make dinner, something quick and easy, per your request. Your wish for the day had been "a lazy day together", so your initial intention was to order to takeout.

But halfway through the day, you began to crave his cooking.

Once he'd made sure the ingredients were there, getting them both out of a trip to the supermarket, you had no reason to refuse his offer. So you'd scrapped your plans and followed him into the kitchen to help.

"I'm not sure it would've been very appropriate to point out," he says, from where he sits at the dining table.

He'd expected nothing to come out of it, so he simply never brought it up. There were more important things to worry about at the time—your presence in Godheim, and all that came after that. His heart aches at the memory of your tears, particularly because he'd been the one to cause them.

They'd never properly spoken of it—of the day Peter Pan understood, but could not bring himself to make peace with, the fact that Wendy would have to leave him one day.

"After all, you were a teenager," Cael adds, remembering what he'd told your friend Natalie. "It would be no different than taking advantage of you."

His words, however, go in one ear and go out the other. You're rather specific about what you choose to pick out from his words, your next words discarding all but the subtext.

"So, you did know about my crush on you."

Though your words are undeniably a conclusion, a statement and not a question, they carry with them an expectation of a response. You crane your neck to fix him with an equally expectant stare, as if the weight behind your words isn't enough.

"Yes, I knew about your crush on me," Cael admits wryly. A helpless sigh accompanies his words. "What brought this on?"

You hum strainedly, returning to your dishes. "Nothing."

For the time being, he leaves it at that.

It is only when the two of you happen to encounter Lars while on a date that he discovers the truth, after some coaxing on his part. That you'd been under the impression that your crush on him was a secret kept carefully under wraps. That it'd been Lars who'd guessed otherwise—after some advice on how to handle Cael's new hobby—and subsequently been proven correct, leaving you to sulk on your own.

Unsurprisingly, Cael does not manage to stifle his laughter before you notice.

[baby-girl-aaron-dessner]

Currently watching The Favourite with my sister. Suddenly, Joe Alwyn enters the scene and my non-Swiftie sister gasps and says, “Who is he?? He’s so handsome!” Obviously, I get excited because this is one of the few situations where my Swiftie knowledge is useful.

So now my sister has a crush on Joe Alwyn whom she calls “joelwyn”. Also, she is right. He is handsome in this movie.

[meownotgood]

also while I'm on the topic of being off topic. this is my beloved durge tav moon. her wizard boyfriend sprays her with water when she tries to bite people

[deus-ex-mona]

when the slowburn makes the ship extra cute~~~