#she do the same thing only worse
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sa4phire · 2 years ago
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mood
Anyway if you see this you have to reblog and tag with a delight from ur day -- even the littlest thing counts
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egophiliac · 3 months ago
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Since book 7 part 5 (the part where we meet Meleanor/Maleanor 👀) is coming to EN this month, i would love to see your take on lilia’s proposal to meleanor! i mean they were like little kids right? it couldn’t have been that serious…i think the only reason she even brought it up again is because she could tell lilia still genuinely loved her…(even if he didn’t realize it himself?) but, oh well! Let’s think about silly childhood shenanigans to numb the pain! ^_^ (orz)
oh shit?! get ready for a doozy guys, it's comiiiiiing ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
I chickened out of posting the whole thing (look, I get VERY carried away when it comes to these wacky kids and their Tragedy), but I do believe that it probably ended with Lilia getting embarrassed and just shoving the first thing he sees into his mouth to try and cover for it.
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(we're just lucky it wasn't a frog this time)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 5 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 5 spoilers#please excuse the Dissertation that's about to happen (i have too much headcanon about them)#they've been ambiguous about most of the fae aging/developmental stages (plus lilia and mel's species age differently)#so this is entirely me assuming based on context#but i think that lilia being ~99 was probably about the equivalent of 9-10ish?#(i don't think his age maps perfectly onto 'human age times 10') (if only because i absolutely do not believe general lilia is 29)#(but in this case it feels right to me)#and i think of meleanor as being just slightly older (like ~11-12ish)#so like...kids but not LITTLE-little kids#so i think lilia was serious in a 'i have a huge crush on you and i haven't thought beyond that' kind of way#and meanwhile mel was more cognizant of how their dynamic was basically#lilia: i would die for you#meleanor: that's dumb#(lilia 600 years later: man she was right. that was dumb.)#but yeah I think she might've assumed (or hoped) he would grow out of it#except whoops oh no it just got worse#and then raverne made things MORE complicated and you know honestly maybe getting murdered was kind of a relief#meleanor in heaven: well at least he won't accidentally raise my kid to have the exact same -- are you kidding me#(i have too many thoughts to express properly i'm sorry) (i just. love these morons a lot okay.)
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onebizarrekai · 1 month ago
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basement gang activity…
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manderleyfire · 6 months ago
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I will do all this, I will get all this blood on my hands, and you are able to plead naivety.
#welighttheway#hotdedit#larys x alicent#larys strong#alicent hightower#larycent#alicent x larys#alicenthightowerdaily#hotd#matthew needham#i fuckng need to tag the man himself because all those quotes? still! so! striking! HONESTLY i pepper his brain with kisses#'he makes himself indispensable to her ties them together in blood in this extraordinary act of will'#'he can see what she’s capable of and he wants to draw it out. they’re both outsiders among the natives'#'she gets to say 'i didn't want it' and i KNOW she did'#'that’s the thing about assault like that it makes the victim’s body the scene of the crime'#rent fckng free forever#larys wants her to feel the same shame wants to break her chaste royal placid exterior and peel the layers off. manually#he wants to creep inside of her mind and rearrange what he finds there#and mr needham is the only larycent fan who gets it to the core!!!!!!!!#THE matthew of the cast i'm so sorry *or am i??*#is this my way to ignore the leaks??? who knows#tbh i was overwhelmed by the urge to give our tiny larycent circle SOMETHING before the new season starts#for better or for worse i am not sorry for my crime#sooooo i'm afraid this post is not for normies it's for sickos#LIKE CALLS TO LIKE#dolores <3 mariana <3 alyssa <3 bia <3 val <3 nina <3#trashfam *affectionate*#game of thrones#shitty things i do for love#me in s1 DON'T FEED THE RAT ALICENT!!!! me now: FUCKNG FEED THE RAT ALICENT *before this particular determined rat chew its way through*
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dykedvonte · 16 days ago
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I like to think in the P.E au that Anya and Curly specifically get haunted hard by Jimmy's weird reality crossing guilt manifested.
It's targeting them because Jimmy's guilt grows more around them. The idea of him acting and playing nice despite what he did. It's like a buffet that allows it to pick from their plates.
Anya sees this stagnant version of her, blood from her mouth, clutching her stomach with a bottle of pills in her other hand. She's talking about not being heard, a pixel, relief from a burden. She tries to ask a question and it's never the right one. She's not understanding but in a way, she's getting that this version of her is in pain. She tries to help, extends a hand and asks how she can help, stop it. She stares and there's utter despair and disappointment in her eyes.
What did you do?
Curly sees this burnt mangled thing. But he can't call it that. Even with no skin and chipping teeth, covered in sullied bandages and smelling of death overdue, he can see his face. He can recognized that eye, he stares at it a lot in the mirror, usually a second one is attached but he digresses. They are just watching, staring and unmoving. He asks himself what happened, how can he help and his own retched mangled voice comes out from a empty maw.
I told you.
They have no idea what it really means. They don't know who to tell. Flashes of a life they don't know or maybe a future they haven't lived yet. Perhaps they treat it as their own minds trying to tell them something. They bare that burden themselves and that alone makes it heavier. Plumper. More appetizing to the guilt causing it.
Tragically that guilt is not their own.
#refining the au and the crew cant see the entity always but pretty much its always felt sort of like a mind over matter debacle#it is like the code scanner sections where only jimmy sees it but it can kinda interact with things to an extent like a force of negative#energy jimmy cant just outright tell them cause theyll just think he's insane but he can't ignore it cause he can't ignore the guilt anymor#anya and curly are its biggest targets as it is relatively easy for him to rectify the issues with Swansea and Daisuke vs the internalized#problems he has with Anya and Curly and its sort of about him no longer becoming that person he was in that future cause its the same#timeline but like divergence he was sent back with something awful and the story is less about forgiveness and more about repenting#hes still weird and an asshole he is being tormented but no one else gets seriously hurt so bittersweet#its like a fix-it but like imagine getting put into a perfect world with all the knowledge of ur fuck ups and now being haunted by the#guilt you will do the same shit again because you already have and having to prove you arent that person but then you also prove you didnt#ever have to be that person so you damn yourself even more like this doesn't end happy for Jimmy like ill tell you that but he'll actually#learn something so yeah thats somethting but everyone is still a little worse after this but can move on happily#the demons are tormenting each other by blaming them for Jimmy's actions invertedly cause while its not her fault anya in the reg timeline#def wondered if she stayed silent if this all wouldve happened even though it really isnt her fault and Curly knew deep down how bad Jimmy#was how bad he was to him and he likely told himself Jimmy would be the end of him and a lot of other but was so beaten down he couldnt go#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#nurse anya#jimmy mouthwashing#pe au#thinking of calling it pestilent equine au? that sound good? we like P.E is just the short funny name for it?
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fusionsprunt · 5 months ago
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Hunter what the FUCK-
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#love this because it's the following reaction to the last ask#this is funny considering 72.7% of 44 people who interacted with the poll considered Hunter worthy of forgiveness. which is around 31 votes#tbf forgiving is one thing but moving on is very different#someone commented on the post saying they would forgive Hunter but would struggle to continue friends/acquaintances with him#and honestly? that's absolutely fair. but yeah you can guess Bee's reaction to the truth wasn't the best one#Hunter is used to her explosive reactions so he kinda expected her to lash out#but worse than that he was met with an utter and deadly silence. B2 never made it clear whether or not she forgave him#on one side all those years of hardwork and friendship sounded like a lie and she struggled to process the weight of it all#on the other side she wasn't the only person affected by his past actions and that infuriated her even more.#a whole civilization was nearly annihilated by Bee's kind - all because Gideon decided to send 'em off to war#the same civilization he's infiltrated under the disguise of a 'rebellious android'#the same civilization they spent years trying to rescue and save. the same civilization she considered family. the closest thing to home#------ now to a more inconsistent and unexplored side of this story...#There's a Certain Event that takes place after this and is very heartbreaking. however I'm not entirely sure if Hunter's told the truth-#-before or after the final conflicts of the story were over#i like to think he waited until the very end to talk to Bee. presuming it was safe enough to do so#It's likely Bee was so hurt and angry that she promised to go back to her Real Home (to her orbit as a comet) and never look back#and that's when- oh boy i talked too much in the tags again!#oh gee! so sorry for rambling#i'll stop here :]#the continuation to this can be found in an illustration i'm working on!! stay tuned!!!!#ok byeee#inbox#fusionsprunt
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maybeicanbesaved · 24 days ago
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got into yet another fight with my mom, again about voting/the election, she said that she’s only voted once in her life and never cares to again because she ‘doesn’t care about politics’, saying that shit almost proudly?? and it set me off for obvious reasons, then she got mad at me for saying it’s because she’s privileged and ‘most’ shit doesn’t affect her directly so she can afford ‘not to care’
#i’m so tired man#yeah because you’re a cis straight white woman#but what about your queer child?#what about other lgbtq+ people? you say you support them/us but apparently not enough if you don’t care to vote#and then she started on about how kamala is just as bad if not worse#bc she’s an easily influenced boomer and listens to other dumbfuck boomers#plus the internalized misogyny#i just can’t yall#i know some have it worse with their parent/family member being full on pro trump but this#is just so fucking frustrating#not to mention my bitch sister who within the past couple years moved to the midwest with her abusive bf & got knocked up twice#is suddenly loudly pro trump#the same woman who a mere handful of years ago was about to marry her trans girlfriend (whom she also dated before they realized they#were trans!!)#the same woman who has dated girls multiple times#and had more than a few abortions#like just because you now have two children and no longer interested in having abortions no women should have them?? fucking hypocrite#she just disgusts me#like did he beat the brain cells out of you or did all the heroin you used to do kill them#i’m sorry im just so fucking angry with her like i didn’t think i could get more pissed/upset with her#after she ‘indirectly’ killed my cats#which i will never ever forgive her for#but this is just extra on top#legit no longer acknowledge her as my sister - i now only have one vs the two i was raised with idfc im better off#i’m just tired#and it’s not even an ‘election time’ thing this is just … never gonna end/change huh#personal#tdl#vent
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sskk-manifesto · 4 months ago
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go ���The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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memento-morri-writes · 2 months ago
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I've been thinking a lot about how Rook's reunion with his former mentor, Zara, is going to go, and since I can't predict what the DM is going to have her do or say, I can only dwell on what I know is going to happen. Which happens to include taking off the illusion ring that's been hiding his injuries from her. So have a snippet of the description I have planned for that moment:
tw for description of (mostly healed) injuries
He hesitates, twisting a ring on his finger. Looking at it more closely, she can tell it’s very finely crafted, and must have been very expensive. A large emerald is set into the band. Rook sighs, and pulls the ring off his finger in one quick motion.  Immediately she’s struck by the difference in his appearance as the illusion melts away. He looks awful. His warm, healthy skin fades to a dull and sickly grey. There’s huge bags under his deeply sunken eyes, and his cheeks are hollowed, as though they have been carved out by an overeager sculptor. He looks like he’s recently risen from the grave.  While he was thin before, now she can see his ribs under the skin, and his collarbones are exaggeratedly pronounce. Thin white lines left by dozens upon dozens of recently healed cuts are scattered across his body. On top of that, faded bruises cover most of his visible skin, a mottled mosaic of purple and yellow. They’re clearly days, maybe weeks old, and she can only begin to imagine what they must have looked like when fresh. Bandages are barely visible under his shirt, wrapping around his back, hinting at even more injuries.
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#Poor Zara.#she's gonna feel so fucking guilty about everything that's happened to him in the last 3 years even though it's not her fault.#yes she pissed off Wolf but she had no way of knowing Wolf would go after Rook instead of her.#(I don't even know what she did to piss off Wolf. That's the Big Reveal that's going to happen when Rook sees her again.)#but yeah. Seeing him like this and knowing/thinking that it's because of her actions... it's going to destroy her and that kills me.#I don't know what she did but I *do* know that she never intended for Rook to get hurt. She loves him too much for that.#but Rook could never blame her for anything. He'd forgive her just about anything. And that will probably only make her feel worse.#Rook and his mentors will never ever fail to fuck me up big time.#his undying devotion and naive faith in them which is such a stark contrast to his usual distrust of people.#and it gets him hurt every time even though the don't *mean* to hurt him. But Sigmar's case was definitely much more malicious than Zara's.#this reunion is going to be such a huge turning point for Rook's character and his personal development as a character.#well really it's a combination of things all happening at once that are going to be the turning point.#1) the fact that the party rescued him from Wolf which has literally no other explanation than that they love him and care about him.#2) seeing Zara again and finally getting that closure that he never got three years ago plus being to reestablish the most important#relationship in his entire life. Plus she's just a good influence on him all-around a much-needed source of support after Sigmar's betrayal#3) getting gifted the Tide Breaker (Zara's old ship) and having to learn some responsibility for once in his life will be very good for him#and I guess you could also say that 4) my temporary character Val talking some sense into him has something to do with it lmao.#but we'll see how this all plays out bc while I know these things are going to happen they technically haven't happened yet.#I'm not gonna RP the conversation between Rook and Val bc it would just be me talking to myself for a long time but I am gonna write it up#when we get to that point so I can show it to the DM so he knows what they talked about. Plus it will be a very fun exercise bc Val was#literally designed to be Rook's opposite in just about every way. They're very wise and responsible and Rook is a reckless idiot.#(but I love him anyways.)#So it's gonna be fun to balance writing both of them in the same conversation.#anyways. these tags are SO FUCKING LONG already. If you read this far I'm giving you your favorite dessert and a hug if you want it.#and also pledging you my undying allegiance for life. <3
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here-there-were-dragons · 5 months ago
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i have to wonder what super hardcore militant vegans think should be done about obligate carnivore animals, because in all my painfully-rapidly-approaching-30-years i've literally never actually seen anyone give a clear consistent much less halfway feasible answer on that
#mostly i've just seen like “how dare you ask questions you just want an excuse to murder you're sealioning ect”#or worse some vague and wildly improbable nonsense about like. fake robot animals covered in beyond meat or something equally convoluted#which is a thing i did see someone suggest as a serious answer#i mean i already know they think i'm a genetically inferior hateful vampire that should starve to death for the greater good#because my exact combination of health conditions make meat basically the only semi-safe way i can get close to enough nutrients#i know this because they have repeatedly told me that i'm either evil or should be sacrificed or both#and yelled at me for asking questions by bringing up the whole disabled thing and then they're like#“a lot of vegans i know are advocates for disability!” as if that ever means jack shit in the society that results from anything#no matter what you do a vast majority of people in any given society will *not* be advocates for the disabled. i'm sorry they just won't.#and what do you think public perception of people who physically can't survive like that is going to skew towards#in a society founded on the belief that non-vegan diets are evil?#at absolute best we're looking at being a heavily marginalized class generally seen as something like vampires and our existences taboo.#(as if these type's own insistence that they should be allowed to harass and shame people doesn't disprove their assertion that we won't be#thinking it could possibly go any better than that is a fucking fairy tale. human nature doesn't work that way.#you simply cannot eliminate the human desire to designate and abuse a class of have-nots. the absolute best you can do is mitigate damage.#take it from someone who's been multiple kinds of disabled and chronically ill all my life. people will not “just”. ever.#i get this even from people who are otherwise very aware of and VERY GOOD at avoiding this sort of thinking#“i'm a disability advocate!” no you are not. you are a poster. my experience has taught me that what people advocate for in their free time#means precisely jack shit for how they will actually act when faced with the situations they make otherwise rational posts about#and the fact of the matter is even if you somehow really are the perfect disability advocate a majority of people WILL NOT BE YOU.#a majority of people in society will be margrat from accounting who clutches her pearls when she sees the gays and thinks autism isnt real#and who has never had a nuanced thought in her life and actively does not want to#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will not be you and your friends who march with wheelchair users and volunteer at the shelte#a vast majority of people in your Vegan Utopia will be jenny who starved 8 cats to death on broccoli because she can't be bothered#and who thinks that “carnivores” are actual nazis and don't deserve healthcare because she saw someone say that online.#ALWAYS assume your society will be made up mostly of the worst kind of person it can because it WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE and you can't change it#most people seek the low-effort option. and evil is most often banal and low-effort.#i'm just so fucking tired of every single even vaguely lefty-adjacent political movement simultaneously acting like i don't fucking exist#and at the same time that i need to be sacrificed to achieve Utopia. god. at least conservative whackjobs are upfront and honest about#how they think that i'm a burden on society that needs to be Eugenics'd . rather than trying to morally gaslight me about it.
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springcatalyst · 1 month ago
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2, 10, 18, 25 for the relationship asks with Diana and who ever you think would be most interesting for these questions!!!!
yesss thank you beloved im feelin like the pepe silvia scene from it's always sunny but im just pointing to a picture of diana. im in love with her
most of these will probably be her and julian because that's the one thats. how u say. complicated.
2: How long have these two characters known each other?
Diana and Julian have known each other long enough that it doesn't matter. Since childhood. Sure there must have been a time before they were friends, but it's like the period before your sibling is born- can you really say there was ever a point you 'met'? They lived in the same town, they gravitated towards each other in the way that queer people do even (especially) when nobody involved knows what queerness even means. It would be false to say they're both outsiders, because Diana is very good at Doing What She's Supposed To, but they share a sort of alienation and ill fit and dread (ha) that ties them to each other. It grows with time, but at the same time it's almost unsteady, because it's built on more negative than positive. Who would they be if they weren't just huddling together beneath the jaw of something, you know?
10: What is one major difference between them?
They are structured fundamentally different, even as it's spurred by very very similar circumstances. Diana keeps herself safe with compliant passivity- she is polite and pretty and knows what to say and when to say it. She is actually rather well liked through the town because of this. Of course, they don't really like her, rather a smoothed-out version of her that has buried most of the genuine personality, but it grants her the grace to float through her life causing as little stir as possible. 'Causing little stir' is her 'safe'.
Julian, on the other hand, even when he's younger and not nearly as problem-causing as later on, is never as easy as Diana. He's stubborn like all his family, he gets frustrated easily and when he is he gets snippy and rude- which means he is often snippy and rude. He doesn't compromise. He doesn't like being told what to do. Diana has learned to live with everything that pisses Julian off, because the consequences for her are more immediate, while the consequences for him are more long-term. They are both trying to avoid the same thing, but Diana is punished for acting out and so spends much more time trying to avoid that, while Julian is largely left to his own devices for everything but that long-term result, which means he does anything and everything to obviate it, causing as much of a fuss as he can.
I hesitate to call Diana passive, though, because it's only half true. She is not unfamiliar with anger, she's just unable to express it. That, and she has a messier, closer relationship with her family, and so simultaneously wants to do right by them, and rightfully feels wronged when she is mistreated. She is very close to her father, and he protects her as she simultaneously tries to protect him. Her siblings care very much for her, but are first and foremost getting their own lives in order. They implore her to do the same, not understanding the kink in that system. She feels an obligation to her mother independent of what their actual relationship looks like. Where Julian's family is more distant and so he can place blame on anyone he wants without guilt, Diana has some semblance of a functional, meaningful relationship with hers (positive and negative), and so can't just get angry. It drives more of a futile non-action in her, because she doesn't think of anything as being anyone's fault.
18: Do they view their relationship as temporary or permanent?
They would have both figured it permanent right up until it ended. Even then, ended is a strong word, because what really happened is someone just disappeared. It had been just them for so long, and then Julian disappeared and that word is not an exaggeration- nobody even knew if he was alive or dead. Some were firm in their belief of one or the other. Diana fluctuated between the two. Thinking he was alive was better, obviously, but if he was then that means that he left without her. Without even telling her. She would have gone with him, if he'd asked.
Suddenly, she was alone in a way that she hadn't really thought would ever happen, even as bad as anything would get, she'd always thought it'd be the two of them going through it together. And then it just wasn't.
And this isn't about Julian but even for him- he didn't plan it like that. He didn't plan at all, actually. The decision to leave was impulsive and sudden and he followed through with very little forethought because he knew it he didn't do it now then consequences and promises would catch up to him. He didn't even think about taking Diana with him. It didn't even cross his mind. I don't know if that makes it better or worse.
25: If a stranger saw them together, how would they describe their relationship?
Well it depends because crazy enough they do actually cross paths again, years and years later when lots has changed. When they're young, though, back in Ereform, they kind of just go together. They're a matched set, where one goes chances are you'll see the other. Not always, because they both have their own responsibilities to their houses, but often. People who didn't know them well kind of thought Diana was being nice to him? Like- I said already Diana is very likeable because she is just what people want or expect her to be. Julian is not- he's kind of jagged around the edges and offputting and just kind of odd. So people looking in can safely assume that kind, sweet Diana has befriended the weird Kil girl and put up with her bullshit to give her a friend. But if you know either of them much more it's obvious that it's not nearly that one-sided. They do both care very much about each other and Diana would be just as lost without him as he would without her.
Later on though. Aha. Well. They meet by chance or luck (good or bad depends on how you look at it) or perhaps fate, once again, in the harbor closest to Ereform. It is very messy. Then when Julian (and Liliana but she's not a part of this get your nose OUT of their business girl!!) end up stuck in Acrofin, and when Diana turns out to be a method to get where they're going (or more accurately, to get where they're going to come to them) it gets! Messier! But there is still an odd sort of friendship that happens under really weird circumstances that I can't really get into because it would not only be spoilers (as if i've ever cared about that before) but also just really long. But safe to say they make an even odder pair than before. Julian is all his brash, cruel, loud sharpness that he's ever had x100, and Diana is still much of the sweet, kind, quiet woman she always was, because funny enough that's really hard to leave behind, even if everything else goes. I'm gonna end on a funny note, because if I have to be so for real with you, people assume they're fucking. Because why the hell else would she be hanging around him?
OC Pair Ask Game! i will do more of these for any two please please please please
#ask#ocs#THANKS BELOVED I AM THINKING OF HER AND THINKING OF HER AND THINKING OF HER AND THINKING OF HER#ive also been doodling her nonstop and spent most of today painting a her that i will probably upload once it's done#and maybe ill scan/digitize some of my doodles but needless to say. i am thinking of her crazy style#worlds most beautiful woman who is walking through a world that shapes itself like grief around her#help girl! she can only play the hand she's dealt but the hand she's dealt consistently sucks major ass!#everybody places their own expectations or meanings on her and what is left is something thats not her at all!#she doesn't even know how to be angry because she can't fathom that cruelty is anything but the function of the world!#she can't even bring herself to blame anyone!#girl who cares very much for everyone in her life and thus lets them do whatever they will with her because she wants nothing but the best-#-for them. girl who even as she recognizes mistreatment will not stop it because the only thing worse than things as they are is losing-#-the people who mean the most to her. and she doesn't know how to make them not mutually exclusive.#i am. IN love with her#ALSOOOOOO if anyone wanna send me more oc ask game (PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE) do any 2#even if they aren't in the same story i like Comparing characters. but the ones that ARE in the same stories are UHM#julian/diana/liliana/heiti/nadia (naomi/ciara/kane/warren/singh/bakome are more minor characters)#and then like. milo/reiji/sumaya/suna/yarosh(that's a name u haven't heard b4)#and then brooke/dante/deya/devonte. who i am very bad at coming up with plot for god help me#anywhooooooo. look at my ocs boy
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sherlock-is-ace · 8 months ago
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#oh wow...#i just had an oh shit fuck moment#wow#i usually complain about the one therapist i had in my entire life and how she wouldn't just listen to what i was saying#if it didn't fit her textbook definition of whatever she was thinking at the time#and how i talked to her about my anxiety and how that made me feel and she would only focus on how i acted#so the example i gave her was the one time i went into a shop to buy something by myself#because my mom didn't want to go in for me and arguing with my mom in front of the shop in public and then inevitably have to#go in myself either way was way worse to me#because of the embarrassement of arguing in public. the fact that my mom was gonna spend the entire walk home telling me how i have to#''just suck it up and learn and just overcome my anxiety because i don't have a problem'' or whatever#and then having to go into the shop where the lady had been watching me from inside the entire time how i clearly didn't want to go in#and possibly be even more awkward with teary eyes because of the anxiety and awkwardness i already bring to the table any day...#all of those things that were going inside my head were trumped by the fact that i did go in and did buy what i needed#although my heart was coming out of my chest the entire time... all that didn't matter to my therapist because in her words:#''if you had anxiety. you simply wouldn't have gone in''#which is ridiculous#but anyways... i just had an epiphany... that was masking wasn't it?#forcing myself to do something that brings me major discomfort to make my mother and the shop lady not judge me?#pretend i'm a normal human being just doing normal things instead of someone who's about to have a heart attack buying embroidery thread?#panicking the entire time because i wasn't prepeared and hadn't scripted the entire transaction in my head?#yet still going in and putting on my ''normal person'' mask to try to seem like i wasn't just dying seconds ago (and still was)?#isn't that literally what masking is?!#and the ''autism specialist'' ass therapist was like ''if you did it then you don't have a problem''#when i'm literally telling her how much of a problem it actually WAS?!#you know what's the best part about all this#that when i told my mom after i left that therapist that she didn't listen to me because [insert everything above]#my mom's response was ''well sometimes therapist will say things that you don't want to hear but you have to accept them''....#same woman who's always saying how much she hates therapists because they ''will say whatever and pretend they know shit''#ok so it's only The Truth when I tell you it isn't...
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dykedvonte · 2 days ago
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I think the most baffling thing about the Tulpar as a vessel to me is the fact that the ship really did only have a one way communication system.
I know it was cheap but even the most basic of vessels regarding major transport would have some way, shape or form for outside communication. Not only that but there was absolutely no form of innate emergency signal to show they may have been offline or in trouble despite clearly having a system to dock credits if they went off course. It's another factor that really shows that bad situations are made to get worse by design. One person who is required to relay all information to the crew and make all the choices without feedback. No way to update or call for help in case of a dire situation. No way to inform of inner personal conflicts and acquire procedures accordingly.
It really is like they are all in some sort of fucked up solitary confinement. They have their own world with strict roles that are meaningless in the end, as long as the cargo makes it, it doesn't matter what happens on that ship to the company. They don't want to hear anything and will come to conclusions on what happened based on how much pay they can withhold from the workers. Even what they do send is short, sterile and corporate to the extent it was likely written and sent out with a command by some random unmanned computer in an office.
There's something to be said about how unfair it is to force absolute power and control onto one person when you as an entity could do so much more to offload it but I've said it many times before so I won't again.
#its just like idk i dont think Curly was a bad captain because we only have this scenerio and I certainly dont think a man like Swansea#would like him or have very little issues with him specifically if he was incompentent or too lienent in the past but I do think the stress#was making him worse and worse as being a present leader as it dawned on him how much he actually had to handle like I really think he#just wanted to do yknow normal captain pilot stuff and fly the ship and yknow the little stuff like make sure things run right and over tim#the constant stress and strain of having to make every major choice started to grate on him and freak him out cause they cant even fucking#eat unless he pulls out the scanner and starts cooking like he has to choose the meal likely or have a vote and i make that part of the#reason he seems so indecisive and inactive is the fact he has to make the choice all the time and he's hoping he can at least make the crew#feel a little more in control of themselves as people by staying out of affairs like the game or disputes because god he literally has to#choose for them all the time like thats a lot of responsibility monitering their sleep their breaks food consumption thats all on him like#it really should be another persons job entirely as thats almost like absoulte contrl over the lives of everyone else that PE forces onto#that title and its also crazy how everyone accepts it even if they dont like it like they broke the food machine open rather than get the#scanner they all waited two months before Jimmy appointed himself leader its so scary how conditioned they all are to the environemnt#cause that sort of mindset is sadly real where people just wait everyone just waited until it was getting real dire and then they still#followed Jimmy without too many complaints like i saw a fic or post where Anya acknowledges they all kinda just let Jimmy do what they want#because he became the captain and it was stupid on all their parts cause they could clearly see how bad he was and yet he was captain so#they just fell in line to their roles and thats a bigger point towards how PE treated them and the complacency capitalism brings to you#just like something that irks me because idk I know Curly is slow to act but he's not as like unopinionated as people make him out to be#like he does try to find solutions but they are still restricted at the end of the day by what PE provides them and I think his biggest c#crime is being in his own head too much and not giving Anya that emotional stability cause like idk man was he supposed to go to Home Depot#himself and install like padlocks? even if the let Anya sleep in medical after she pointed it out she was already pregnant at that point#like we arent seeing the inherent issue that no one not even Anya herself was thinking of the preventative measures because a)there was a#point nothing was happening that necessitated them b) it would've been the responsibility of PE to address them pre and post incident and c#there is only one person on the entire ship given the authority to do anything. You can not make multiple important choices in one instance#in such little time and Curly should not have had that total power like i think the most interesting thing in takes that really blame Curly#is that level of control they give him over the company. Like again i think about the three days we miss between the eval/party and the#convo/crash like i think people switch them around as if those scenes happen in succession when they are broken up and its heavily implied#Curly and Jimmy just havent been talking vs the depiction that she told him and for like three days Curly was just chummy despite the fact#Jimmy and him just had a blow out fight like the next time we assume they talk is during the crash sequence cause he honestly hangs#around Anya more which i think is really important because she trust Curly to defend her himself but not his judgement to give her somethin#to defend herself as she knows he believes her but also knows she's not seeing the danger the same and its heartbreaking and more
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yappacadaver · 2 days ago
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god. inquisition + trespasser was so good... fuck
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so i googled my current favourite play that i'm absolutely obsessed with and ended up on the english wikipedia site bc my browser is set to english and. it's so bad. the fucking plot overview leaves out basically everything that happens ever except for the end result. several key figures aren't even mentioned. "this guy dies for freedom" well, yes, but actually no, plus you're implying his sacrifice is actually worth it. that's not true. in some other section a dude is mentioned who claims this play is basically star wars. that someone familiar with the play but not star wars could look at a star wars poster and tell you which characters are narratively similar/equal to characters of the play. i am baffled. i have never, not once in my life, ever seen someone be so wrong. dude must have read an entirely different play. i'm tempted to dig up the english version and read it just to see how fucking wrong he is. he is *so* incredibly wrong. jesus fuck. how could you possibly say that
#like??? lets assume the protagonists are sorta equivalent#okay?? daddy issues ig? one of them is filled with hope and the other with despair and obsessive love based in stubbornness#one of them refuses to give up to save many and the other has given up many to pursue his hopeless love interest#(until the end at least. hes so fucked up and stupid <3)#and okay that unreachable love interest is shared BUT????#i cant even begin to describe how fucking different those situations are#also bc without an in depth explanation the play situation sounds so much worse than it is#then the protags bestie#in star wars we have han whos cool but he didnt mean to be there for the longest time. a smuggler etc#in the play we have this super righteous guy whom Nobody speaks ill of whos literally our protags only moral compass#well not the only. well. actually. currently yes he is thats accurate#i mean obviously theres differences already bc one is basically a space fairy tale and the others a tragedy but#the character constellations are NOT even remotely similar!!!#the motives are VERY different!! the way the characters think and feel and act are VERY different!!!#just bc theres a protag who has a bad father a best friend and a love interest he shouldn't be into does NOT mean ones based on the other#and even if dude refers to a different star wars movie THE SAME STILL APPLIES#ITS SO INCREDIBLY WRONG LITERALLY I CANNOT GET OVER THIS#not that the wikipedia plot overview is much better#yes youre TECHNICALLY right but YOU ARE IGNORING THE PLOT#YES THAT HAPPENS BUT ONLY AT THE VERY END BC OF THE PLOT THAT YOU DIDNT MENTION#YOURE IGNORING CHARACTERS INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT#(the women ofc. THEYRE IMPORTANT. yes they still play their restrictive af roles given the age of the play#BUT THEY STILL MATTER AND INFLUENCE THINGS???? let my girl fuck up so bad. let my other girl try so hard to do her best even as shes#powerless within the narrative and her fellow characters whims and moods and ploys)#and again! saying my guy dies for freedom is such a gross oversimplification#that scene is so intense and based in such complicated actions and intentions and feelings youre doing it a disservice#you can simplify it like that but ONLY IF YOU PROVIDE CONTEXT PLEASE#YOU CANT SAY 'THIS IS THE PLOT' AND THEN IGNORE THE ENTIRE PLOT#PLEASE THERE WASN'T A SINGLE MENTION OF LETTERS EVEN WTF ARE YOU DOING#WHOEVER WROTE THAT WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE DROP UR URL I JUST WANNA TALK
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raayllum · 2 years ago
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RAYLLUM S4 MEME:  scenes [4/6] 4x06, “the drakewood”
This is all my fault. I left him alone. I shouldn’t have—Rayla, don’t. W-we can’t know what happened for sure. I mean, this is the path to Rex Igneous, right? So maybe he couldn’t climb out of the pit, so he had to keep going. You know him. He’s brave. He’s gotta be down there looking for Rex. He is brave. And reckless. 
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