#seven? having a gay crisis on MY tumblr?

[b0y-artist]

Just a little snippet of an old idea. May write on it more later, I'm really proud of how this came out!

"So, Mr. And Mr. Mason, I take it?" A young woman who looked to be in her early 40's asked. She was holding a clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other. She wore an old washed-out jacket with flowers printed on the back, and a pleated skirt that reached her knees. The boys could hear the click of her heels as she led them upstairs through the apartment building.

Seven involuntarily felt his face heat up, he wasn't sure what to say exactly. She thought they were married? I mean, he can't blame her. They *were* moving into an apartment together after all. To anyone else they could easily be mistaken as a couple. *Maybe.* But married???

Not that Seven would mind if–

"Oh! Uh, n-no, w-we're not– he's Fellon, and *I'm* Mason." Mono mumbled, scratching at the back of his head nervously. Seven thought it was kind of cute whenever Mono got nervous. Wait, that sounded gay. Is he gay?

It's not like Seven had *time* to explore his sexuality. When there're giant monsters that stop at nothing to kill you, who you have the hots for isn't really a top priority for most people.

But it's different now. They've grown up, and the Signal Tower doesn't exist anymore. Life was finally going back to normal. With nothing left to fear, Seven is finally able to relax. Mostly, he found himself thinking.

Thinking. That was the problem. Beforehand Seven didn't have time to stop and think, because he was always running from danger. But now, Seven has *time* to think, and lately, he's been thinking of Mono. A lot. Way more than is typically normal for a person to think of another person who they deem a friend.

He doesn't know what changed, Mono's been by his side since they were little. So why now is he having these thoughts? Thoughts that he's *way* too embarrassed to say out loud. Like how much Mono's smile may be the best thing he's ever had the pleasure of seeing. Or how those dark eyes remind him of the night sky, sparkling with millions of stars.

AH! SEE?! there he goes again! Maybe it's just stupid teenage hormones and typical infutation, but something tells him that it's not, that it's something *more.*

–And that scared the shit out of him.

[carlos-in-glasses]

2023 Writing Round Up

Thank you for the tag @heartstringsduet @reasonandfaithinharmony @jesuisici33 @chicgeekgirl89 @thisbuildinghasfeelings @theghostofashton @orchidscript @welcometololaland @ladytessa74 @strandnreyes @reyesstrand @alrightbuckaroo

Rules: Share what you wrote this year! It can be works you posted to Ao3, Wattpad, Tumblr, or anywhere else! You can share everything you wrote or just the ones you're most excited about.

15 fics this year! I have loved writing and sharing every one of them. Thank you to everyone who has read or will at some point. Work is a lot busier these days, so I don’t anticipate writing the same volume in 2024…but we shall see! I just want whatever I share to be good quality, and it’s my New Year’s resolution to keep improving. I love Tarlos. I love writing Tarlos fic. I love this fandom.

January

The Ruins of Wonderland – a reimagining of TK and Carlos getting back together after their breakup. I posted this on New Year’s Day, resolving to start 2023 off on the right fanfic foot.

Chasers – A coda for 3x13. TK talks to Cooper about his past, while Carlos goes for a swim and thinks about his own. When Carlos gets home, he and TK have an important chat. The rection to this fic spurred me on to continue writing in the flashback/vignette/timeline format.

February

Man to Man – A coda for 2x11 and 2x12, which also looks at Carlos coming out to his parents and where he is now with it all.

March

Afterglow of a Supernova – When fiancés TK and Carlos help Carlos’ high school crush and his wife during a call, they end up having a dinner with them that leads to jealousy in an unexpected way. The feedback I’ve had on this fic sent me to the moon on rainbows.

April

The Heart Behind the Shield – My first chaptered fic! I'd been wanting to write a 2x08 coda, but it was 4x04 that made it possible. This combines events from both episodes where there’s duality, and was an absolute blast to write and post.

The Light of Our Life – Listen, I wrote this during an extended lunch break and posted it the same day. For somehow it’s my fifth most kudos’d fic of the year…Thank you!!! We were all deep in our Lou II feelings at this time. Never forget.

Fire Island – TK and Carlos travel to Fire Island, where an older gay couple talks to them about their experience of the AIDS crisis in 1980s New York. This fic by far had the most emotional impact on me while writing it, and based on feedback it seems to be the same for readers(?) People have shared personal stories and memories with me since I posted this, and I just want to say I’m truly grateful for the response, given I wrote it in January but didn’t feel brave enough to post it for a few months.

May

With Infinity Folded Into It – Written for the @tarlosweeklyprompts Countdown to the Wedding event (prompt was: Love). After TK proposes, Carlos remembers the first time they said “I love you.” It’s fluff, it’s smut, it’s kinda angsty because Carlos is trying to bake and baking is stressful.

The Center of the Maze – Another written for Tarlos Weekly Prompts Countdown to the Wedding. (Prompt: "I Never Thought I Would Get This Day".) I thought this was going to be a 2k one-shot; it turned into 20k split into 4 chapters… Seven times they thought they would never get married, and one time when they actually did. I was super inspired and happy with the writing in this one.

June into July

When Soulmates Swim – The closest I’ll ever come to writing a sports AU (….or is it?👀…) Sparks and splashes fly when TK and Carlos each take up swimming while they recover from workplace injuries. I really pushed myself with smut and humour in this fic and the feedback I’ve had has been incredible. One of the most enjoyable writing experiences I’ve ever had, this fic holds a special place in heart.

Release The Hand to Relax the Animal – TK and Carlos explore the world of tantric massage in their own way. Written because Rafael Silva has madly attractive hands, and @heartstringsduet and I thought we should celebrate. You can read Michelle’s hands fic, Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life, Too, here. It is BEAUTIFUL.

(Nothing in August)

September

Sweet Dreams and Flying Machines – A 3x08 coda, which also gets into TK and Carlos’ childhood memories of 9/11, and the way that event went on to impact their lives (to the point where it set them on the path to meeting each other). It recieved the most amazing comments, with people sharing their memories of 9/11, so like Fire Island this fic feels deeper to me in a social way.

October

Suddenly in the Silence – I’d ‘joked’ about the show giving us Ghost Gabriel in season 5, but a conversation with thisbuildinghasfeelings led me to explore that concept myself. In this fic, it’s up to the reader to decide whether they think the spirit of Gabriel is around, which made writing it challenging but a lot of fun. It’s so interesting to see what side people fall on!

November

Where All This Love Comes From – This is my Tarlos novel at ~90k words, due to finish posting in February. I began writing it in March, when a hefty amount of plot relied on Gabriel being alive after season 4. Substantial rewrites happened after May, which was pretty gutting at the time, but ultimately I think this has ended up being the best thing I’ve written so far in my life.

December

There is a smutty one-shot coming with a scream very soon…And I hope you like it!

I'm not sure who has already done this - tagging with no pressure if you want to share/haven't already - and open tag!

@cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @goodways @lemonlyman-dotcom @paperstorm @wandering-night19 @heartstringsduet @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @rmd-writes @rosedavid @chaotictarlos @lightningboltreader @taralaurel @three-drink-amy @redshirt2 @noxsoulmate @sanjuwrites @bonheur-cafe @liminalmemories21

❤️🩷🧡💛❤️🩷🧡💛

[steviewashere]

Steddie Fic Recs. Part 8!

Previous Recommendations: Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven

Okay, so I don't know how this got away from me, but I missed posting my recommendations on Tuesday. (Again.) I'm here now, though. And I've got some more gay men being gay little doods for you to read.

If there are any Tumblr blogs tagged and you'd like to not be, feel free to reach out to be removed. I have no qualms doing so. I respect y'all.

As always, the tags and themes vary on all of these fics. Heed all tags, ratings, and archive warnings with caution.

good side by ghosttotheparty

“They don’t talk about it, even though it keeps happening.

Their eyes keep locking, and they keep lingering. Looking at each other like they’re trying to use fucking telepathy or something. Like they’re sharing silent secrets that no one else is allowed to know. Secrets that they don’t even know.”

Chapters: 1/1, WC: 13,336, Rating: Explicit no Archive Warnings apply College/University AU Roommates AU

————— 2. it’s darker than you thought now by emchant3d @emchant3d

“‘Do you even want to fucking be here?’ he yells.

‘Not when you’re acting like this!’ Eddie says, and Steve’s throat goes tight like there’s a fist wrapped around it.

Or, the boy with abandonment issues falls for the boy who always runs”

Chapters: 1/1, WC: 7,850, Rating: Mature no Archive Warnings apply

————— 3. Like a Rainbow in the Dark by parsnips_and_meth

“Perhaps Steve was ill. There was no reason for this sort of fuss — he hardly knew the guy, and Eddie hadn’t exactly been the most forthcoming when he had visited him in the hospital. He had quipped, sure, pain-hazed and slurring, had smirked and winked and thrust his arms about, but he hadn’t really talked. He’d deflected — classic, really — and Steve hadn’t meddled, hadn’t done anything about the sleepless bruises under his eyes or paper-thinness of his skin, or the way he had sat in the hospital bed coiled, ready to jump and run.

Because Steve didn’t know Eddie. And Eddie didn’t know Steve. Which is why he was surprised when, on a quiet, drizzly Tuesday morning at The Enigma Pig, the walkie-talkie on his hip crackled to life.

(In a moment of need, Eddie radios Steve for help.)”

Chapters: 3/3, WC: 11,284, Rating: Mature without using Archive Warnings Trans Eddie Munson

————— 4. Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore by steddieasitgoes @steddieasitgoes

“Vecna is dead. Or so Steve thinks until Dustin is screaming ‘Code Red’ through a radio. Steve runs out of the house with conditioner still in his hair to save the day only to learn the ‘code red’ is that Eddie Munson is being a little shit and doesn’t want to go to his graduation ceremony tomorrow. Steve’s going to kill them both.

Or:

Steve convinces Eddie to go to graduation and ends up regretting the decision when Eddie shows up looking better than ever, sending Steve into a major sexuality crisis. And more fun ensues!”

Chapters: 11/11, WC: 71,899, Rating: Mature no Archive Warnings apply Part of a series: Time of My Life (And I Owe it All to You)

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

hi mac!!!! mentally i am sitting with u on the couch watchin youtube videos w u. i hope ur day was good :3 i had work 2day. did not stop me writing ghostknife!!! i wrote 2k more words in my tumblr drafts over my seven hour shift. im at 8.5k words total now. get my ass out the kitchen im cookin too hard!!!!! THAT ASIDE mac can u gimme some nhw thoughts. i wanna hear about nhw mark winters. tell me abt ur favourite gay depressed blond man!!!!!!!! i wanna hear abt him and what the winters family torment nexus is like in nhw!!!!!! holding out a microphone 2 u the floor is yours 🎤

OKAY . HI. I LOVE TORTURING THAT BLONDE MAN. im going to direct you to the mark winters essay just in case you havent read that one yet because its got context for a lot of what im gonna talk about hehe (beware for worm spoilers, ill make this answer easy 2 understand without context i promise) under the cut bc i tend to ramble about him. oops

god . okay. basis of the entire nhw mark winters character is that he is the most unlucky man in the entire world. like. literally. hes been targeted that way. universe's favorite punching bag. i could make a joke here about being god and such but ill save that for my dnd campaign.

literally. so much bad shit happens to him. and then keeps happening to him. and keeps happening. and he has to be so fucking. emotionally repressed and logical and analytic and focused or else he will go crazy. mark is one of those capes that got powers artificially (overlord forced them on him- parallel to forced experimentation in canon) but the dramatic irony of it all is that even if mark would have gotten his powers naturally through a trigger event... with the way worm powers work he probably wouldve ended up with the same powers anyway. man is a striker/tinker, which comes from "facing an immediate, in-your-face threat, usually a singular object or individual" (indirect danger from simurgh, immediate danger from ashe in his very unstable breaker form immediately after killing his mom) and "solutionless problems over long periods of time, culminating in a crisis moment" (faking his and ashe's deaths in order to escape the quarantine process of simurgh survivors, having to be on the run from any sort of scrutiny for nearly TEN YEARS, eventually resulting in being offered a job working for overlord (a notoriously cruel crime lord)) . i have a lot of feelings about that. mark goes through all of this and never has a trigger event, he gets through it all with his humanity mostly intact. and then he ends up getting powers anyway because hes forced into a corner by a fucking alligator man.

ANYWAYYYYY. the fic im writing rn is from tide's pov and its immediatly after overlords death, where tide finds mark (and a bunch of other people) unconscious in tubes after going through biological experimentation and getting. animal features. this is how mark gets the lizard stuff in this au. anyway since the fic is from tide's pov i want to take a second to talk about what it would be like from marks pov. mark disobeyed one of overlords orders because it would have meant fighting the wards (who ashe . recently joined as part of the team) . overlord does not take this well and punishes him by using him for unethical human experiments. so between that moment and overlords death, mark had been subjected to over a week of near-constant testing and surgery and he was probably awake for a lot of it and. thatll fuck a guy up!!!!! pretty fucking severely!!!!! but in the grand scheme of things a week isnt that much time. which is why his transformation is only minimal and he can still pretty much pass as human with some disguising (some of the other subjects were. not so lucky).

mark was unconscious for the entire overlord fight, so he has no idea what happens. because he was unmasked, the heroes dont recognize him as a villain so instead of going to jail he gets taken to a hospital with all of the other subjects and is basically just treated as a civilian victim. but because nobody knows who he is or his relation to ashe/auxiliary.... nobody. tells him about what happened to overlord. the wards arent as closely involved with mark in this au (and honestly they dont really like him enough to care, they really just know him as "ashe's shitty dad" and thats about it). um. well. the only person who knows his identity and knows his relation is. tide.

working for a supervillain and constantly surviving out of the public's eye for fear that someone might discover your past doesnt leave a lot of room for friends, and his only living family is currently being turned into a puppet by another supervillain (not that he knows this yet) so the only person who really visits him is tide. theyre not friends, theyre not anything to each other, really, but . they KNOW each other. they UNDERSTAND each other in a way that. nobody else in the world would. go read roswells nhw tidalwave post its everything to me . anyway im getting distracted. like i said, over a week of constant unethical experiments and body horror will fuck a guy up. three of his base biological senses/instincts have been SEVERELY messed with (eyesight is fundamentally changed by the heat sense, he cant really thermoregulate well anymore, his balance is completely thrown off by the Addition Of A New Limb) and so that makes it. really hard for him to recover into some sense of lucidity. the next handful of days after he ends up in the hospital are a complete blur of consciousness, any time he opens his eyes hes totally disoriented, hes getting these awful migraines from the strain, he cant control his body heat and it seems like hes always too cold, the scales are fucking itchy, etc etc etc. hes bedridden most of the time because he cant even stand up on his own without support bc he has to get used to the weight of a tail. for those days where he's basically stuck in bed, stuck in his room, etc. he is. bored out of his mind, hes angry, hes scared (ohhh god hes in a hospital did someone do a background check do they know who he is. he hasnt been to a real doctor in over ten years), he doesnt know how much time has passed.

tide happens to visit the first day mark is feeling lucid enough to ask about ashe. this is like. a week or so into his recovery. he overheard one of the staff talking about the date and it made him like. snap awake because he realized hes been away from home and had no way to contact ashe in like. half a month. he cant ask any of the hospital staff about what happened to his son because thats a surefire way of getting a billion questions about his identity. so when tide shows up its immediately like "where is he is someone taking care of him i hate you heroes and everything you stand for but i know hes part of that team now please tell me theyre keeping him safe" and. tide is really really good at keeping a straight face but he just has this Look in his eyes and mark Knows in that moment that every single one of his nighmares is coming true. he tries to leave, tide has to catch him because he still cant walk and hes behaving like a fucking wild animal, hes biting and clawing and just in this rage because why didnt anyone tell me sooner i couldve done something i couldve protected him ("mark, you were basically in a coma" "i dont care") . nobody knows what actually happened to ashe yet. he killed overlord and then just. went missing. nobody saw him leave. they have no lead whatsoever on where he could be (yet) and it drives mark CRAZY dude like. all mark winters knows is grief and rage. eventually the wards are given that hint about where to find him and see him with the trickster and now THEY know, but. again, they dont.. know mark as well. they dont have any reason to go tell him right away. i havent decided yet whether it would be more painful for tide to break this news to him too or if the first time mark sees his son again is . on tv unmasked using his powers in some gaudy outfit he knows ashe would never choose to wear with his hair pulled back out of his face in some intricate braid and. why are his eyes orange . what the fuck happened to him. his wholeeeeee. entire world entire existence just comes crashing down around him .

mark winters universe's most hated man

[particlewaveform]

hello, I've seen you Star Trek posting a lot and I've gotten curious.

Hypothetically speaking someone wants to watch it where does one start?? What do you suggest?

o hi there!!! so technically you can start whenever you want - some series reference previous series a bit more than others but if youre sticking with 80s-2000s trek it doesnt make a big difference (new trek such as discovery, strange new worlds, lower decks..... its a whole other ball game you really need context)

so now its rly all about the vibes you want!!

2009 movies: a LOT of new trek enjoyers got into the series through these ones - theres only 3 movies and their pacing is p much like most modern media so theyre easy to consume. more actiony than the rest of star trek. they are gonna have people like kirk and spock and bones etc

ToS (the original series): the OG! what started it all! this is the technical START of the series but its got really slow pacing so it might be harder to get through. this is THEE epitomy of submarine warfare but we love it. makes up for it by silly 60s shoestring budget, sass, COLOUR, and the most iconic charas in star trek (kirk, spock, bones, uhura, scotty - its a great time!)

TNG (the next generation): another really good place to start the series (this was my start as a kiddo) essentially this is the trek most people think of and sets the vibe. good pacing, consistent story, more modern graphics, and provides most of the worldbuilding for the whole series. the vibe here is mostly diplomacy > action but dw we still got silly scifi happenings. this will have picard, riker, worf, data, etc

ds9 (deep space 9): tumblr's darling child. the MOST gay and chaotic out of any of the treks - its insane how good (and bad) it can get. this has some carryover from tng but doesnt effect the story at large. a drawback for most people is its based on one spacestation so theres little to no exploring which is the bread and butter of star trek - it makes up for it by delving deeply into the alien races that live nearby instead of having them The Alien of the Week and never talking about it again. big themes of Imperialism/resistance/spirituality which is just Chefs Kiss. has characters like sisko, julien, garak, dax, kira, obrien, quark/odo, worf again

Voy (voyager): ever wonder what these ships are like in a crisis situation? ever think "wow star treks idealism would be hard to hold up without support and safety?" WELCOME TO STAR TREK: SURVIVOR. ship gets stranded hundreds of years from home and has to make the long journey back with little resources, allies, and a stedily degrading ship and crew. VOY weirdly has a bad rep but its v good and i just chalk that up to weird nerd sexism about the first female captain (Janeway my beloved). ofc it has its ups and downs like EVERY star trek series. crew becomes very much like a found family and theres tons of exploring since everything is new and exciting! has people like Janeway, Chakotay, Tuvok, Seven of Nine

ENT (enterprise): we've had a LOT of starships called Enterprise but this is the first! this predates the federation which is the defining theme of star trek in general. it heavily leans into a low tech astronaut feeling instead of scifi science magic. got canceled when it was just getting good and i really think its worth a watch. has people like Archer, T'pol, hoshi, Shran

TLDR

tos: Classique 60s hijinks

tng: diplomats in space but cool

ds9: chaotic gays in space

voy: oh god everything wants to eat us

ent: ASTRONAUTS SPACE IS COOL!!!!!

star trek itself is really a love letter to life, humanity, and the possibilities of space - i grew up watching it and its really been one of the most impactful medias of my life. if you do try it i hope you enjoy it and have fun!

[thomasce]

Incorrect Quote Tag

I was tagged by @jasperygrace!

I like to think that I'm funny but really I'm a chronic tumblr user with no idea where I get half of this stuff (probably from my insane coworkers, honestly).

I also used this generator for like... two of them I think.

Jeremy: Oh, I lost my original gender so I scrapped my entire being and became the twin I absorbed in the womb.

~~~

Jeremy, getting a tour of the warehouse:

Someone in the back: HE SAID TO DO WHAT TO HIS TATAS!?!?

~~~

David: I am so normal. You are amazed at how normal I am and how easy it is for me to do basic human tasks.

~~~

Adrian: Can you believe that there's only two numbers between four and seven?

David: ...

David: I feel like if I try and explain decimals I'll either lose my gay card or get shot.

~~~

Adrian, to Elliot: You sound the way dust tastes.

~~~

Quincy: This is so cunty! I need more slut moments like this.

~~~

Terry: Do you see this? I'm drinking sink water. My life is in shambles.

~~~

Marcus: You guys don't want to mess with me.

Adrian: Yeah, Marcus will straight up cry in public.

Marcus: Exactly, I-

Marcus: ...

Marcus, tearing up: Why would you say that?

~~~

Marcus, about Bael: That cunty wet rat could never make it on Disney.

~~~

Frost: I'm running on spite and half a double stuf oreo. I'm ready to become god.

~~~

Julia: Can y'all please take my itsy bitsy ass seriously?

~~~

Elliot: I am the serious goose. You guys need to stop the silliness.

~~~

Jeremy: Hey, did you poison me yesterday?

Bael: What? No.

Jeremy: Be honest.

Bael: ... Yeah.

~~~

Bael: I'm so sick of being referred to as mortal. You don't know that. I haven't died once!

~~~

Sam, standing over Bael in the middle of the night: Arise motherfucker, I am having a crisis.

I'm gonna tag @justahumanmachine for this! Anyone else who wants to join is is more than welcome!

[its-blip-on-the-radar]

I was curious, are you in any fandoms? Or in general like a thing a lot.

oooohkay so. I'm not in any fandoms really, I don't watch online media enough to really say I'm in a fandom

HOWEVER

I am a HUGE science nerd. Especially about biology. I am constantly researching animals and their behavior especially with ocean animals and reptiles. I also really love insects. I'm planning to have a reptile/insect keeping room one day because I love them so much. I have literally told my girlfriend I rather have a blue tegu than a dog. I don't really like furry things all that much if I'm being honest, I relate a lot more to the types of animals people claim are unable to love. Like yeah they probably don't get the burst of oxycotin that humans get about things, but getting a lizard or snake to trust you enough to be held without pitching a fit is amazing!! They're demonized so much in media and I adore them. My main special interest is also sharks so take that for what you will. I relate a little too much to animals that people make out to be "evil".

I also have a big interest in psychology. My brain is ten different levels of fucked so I kinda like doing research into how brains normally function or hell, even how my brain functions. Like the fact that people with schizophrenia are (I think) 80% more likely to experience insomnia than the average person! I just thought I was bad at sleeping but no there's a reason for it! But I'm also a big fan about the science behind human sexuality. I won't get too into the facts of it cuz a lot of it is NSFW, but looking a the science behind getting it on and how it affects the brain and how fetishes and kinks form, ITS SO COOL. I also collect vintage erotica and gay porn because of this gkjdkjlkfldkgl.

I also just generally have a big love for queer history, learning about the aids crisis and the struggles that our community has faced but also just the fact that we've ALWAYS been here... It makes me feel less alone.

And like the last main thing I'm into is spirituality type stuff. I'm actually a certified pagan priest irl, but my disabilities and life circumstances have made me need to take a really big step back from the work I've been doing. But I've always fueled my work in this with the fact I have seen SO MANY people do it the wrong way, that I want to be a guiding force in doing it the right way.

Besides that, I'm really big into the punk anarchist scene, I like the vulture culture community on tumblr here and have a few specimens myself, I build legos and models a lot, I like art (obviously), I'm learning how to do leather, metal, and wood working, and also building costumes or restoring old clothes/shoes. I like music and singing a lot now that my voice has dropped from testosterone, I play Minecraft and the Sims a lot in my free time, I'm not big on video games but I'm trying to get into TF2 again. I'm getting pretty good at the Pokemon Trading Card Game, as well as Magic the Gathering (Magic is much slower than Pokemon TCG if I'm being honest, that game is complicated.)

To be honest most of what I watch on youtube is documentaries, food reviews, and reddit videos, haven't found any youtubers I'm particularly into. Honestly, I spend most of my time scrolling through tumblr and listening to rock music because I'm two weeks away from finally getting to go home after getting stuck in Texas for seven months and I'm kinda stuck in wait mode. Hopefully once I'm back in Chicago, I'll be doing a lot more hobby wise. I might even share some of it here if I get my old camera back.

But yeah, that was a big old ramble, I know it's weird for me to be on the fandom website and not be in any fandoms but it honestly takes a LOT for me to get into series of any kind. 100% of the series or fandoms I'm "into" it just cuz I have an alter from their source. Either way I hope this accurately answered your question! I appreciate being sent stuff a lot!

[douwatahima]

tag 9 people you want to get to know better!

thank you @thermoskind for tagging me!

three four ships: look, i tried to narrow this down to three but i thought of these four and got sad at the thought of not including them all so y'all are getting an extra one.

doumeki/watanuki/himawari (xxxholic) - MY BABIES WHO I LITERALLY NAMED MYSELF AFTER!!! listen, my son watanuki deserves to have a stoic but protective boyfriend and a sunshiney girlfriend who hug him lots and help him see he's worth loving. AND my daughter himawari deserves to be loved without fear of accidentally doing harm. AND my son doumeki deserves to be with the people he cares about despite the fact that they're both self sacrificing as fuck. this is the trio of my dreams and i will love them until i die.

satoshi/daisuke (dn angel) - so like...this ship is from a manga that a) isn't popular and b) i would not recommend despite the fact that it had a vice grip on me as a fourteen year old. that being said these two anime boys are truly THE BLUEPRINT against which i compared all other ships for YEARS. like, there was a time where how much i loved a ship could be directly correlated to how much they reminded me of satoshi and daisuke. they were IT. and this ship truly gave us everything! the romeo and juliet parallels of them coming from feuding families!!! the enemies to friends (to lovers in my heart) of it all!!! they are THEE fire and ice ship!!! THEE sunshine one and stoic one!!! literally never talk to me about the canonical dn angel ending i want to believe in my imagined ending where they were allowed to be in love.

nico/karolina (runaways) - this is specifically about the comic book version but the tv show version is also good! i remember reading the first few comics series like...a decade ago and OHHHH MAN these two messy girls really got me. i remember reading the first conversation that implied karolina was a lesbian and becoming the living embodiment of this emoji 👀. and then nico's whole mess of a sexuality crisis after karolina leaves? poetic cinema if i've ever seen it. i spent so many years holding a torch for these two that when they actually got together in the comics in 2018 i legit bawled my eyes out. i read the words "i'm not confused anymore, karrie. i'm not scared. i know what i want" and i DIED. their first kiss has been the background on my phone for nearly five years. they are my everything i am soooo serious.

ed/stede (ofmd) - OH YOU KNOW THE GAY PIRATES HAD TO BE HERE. when i say they rewired my brain that is in no way and exaggeration. i can vividly recall scrolling through tumblr and seeing how much people were talking about this show and thinking "okay but is it really gay or is this just another tumblr thing?" LIKE. I HAD NO IDEA. staying up until two a.m. to watch episodes 9 and 10 and feeling every human emotion all at once is a moment i will never recreate. i could've done anything that night. i could've fought god and won. it's ten months later and i still think about these two every fucking day. i truly can't wait to see more of them. david jenkins thank you for my life.

first ever ship:

arnold/helga (hey arnold) - i was like...seven and didn't know what fandom was yet but i watched every episode with baited breath waiting for these two to get together lmao. the romeo and juliet episode is burned into my brain for all time. when the jungle movie came out and they finally got together after OVER A DECADE of waiting i literally went out and bought a cake to celebrate.

last song:

grace kelly by felix hagan & the family - what can i say? this song is a bop!

last film:

glass onion - listen, i would watch benoit blanc solve murders for another fifty movies and never get bored. also janelle monae i am free on thursday if you are also free on thursday and want to meet up on thursday when i am free.

currently reading:

i'm between books at the moment but the one i most recently finished was lost boy by christina henry. it was genuinely the most five out of ten book i've ever read. like...not bad by any means but so meh i have no words.

my plan is to read the magicians by lev grossman next because i miss those characters more than i can say but like hell am i gonna watch the show again after...all that. i heard the books are worse soooooo we'll see how far i get.

currently watching:

the mayfair witches - i recently watched the first two episodes and i really enjoyed them! i've never read the books so everything is new and exciting to me. i'm looking forward to seeing where this story goes!

currently consuming:

a caramilk bar. ❤

currently craving:

the ofmd season 2 trailer. please djenks i need to see ed again my crops are dying.

tagging:

i feel like most of the people i would tag have already done this so instead i'm gonna do a cop out and say if you're reading this consider yourself tagged!

[gravelyhumerus]

Criminal Minds College AU - Chapter 7

Title: “I may just take your breath away”

Relationship: Jemily

Summary:

Hallowe’en chaos.

Slow-burn Jemily college AU where they live across the hall and despite all odds, the universe pushes them together. AKA they’re silly gay babies who pine after each other for months.

Read it on AO3

Tumblr:  One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen, Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, (bonus scene), Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Epilogue

After trivia night, Emily Prentiss found her world had shifted slightly. 

For the first time in her life, she had a friend group: a consistent presence of not only just Derek and the occasional Hotch, but also Spencer Reid, Penelope Garcia and most importantly, Jennifer Jareau. 

Emily noticed it most in the dining hall. Most mornings this semester, she would grab coffee and maybe an apple on her way to class. Now, she was invited to breakfast in the caf. And everyone was also invited, so the six of them began eating not only breakfasts together when their schedules lined up, but soon that melded to include dinners and the odd lunch between classes. While Penelope initiated at the beginning, soon this became a routine. 

While they were all busy, and driven people, all with full course loads, extracurriculars and miscellaneous commitments, they managed to get the whole team together multiple times that week. 

A few times, extra faces joined them. Penelope’s friend from class, Kevin… something, joined for a lunch on Wednesday. He sat shyly as Derek stared him down the entire time. On Thursday, somehow Hotch convinced their Criminology TA, David Rossi, who was part time Masters Student and part time weed dealer, to have lunch with the bribe of them using their guest pass so he could get a free meal. He reluctantly acquiesced, but seemed to enjoy himself. On Friday, the day before Halloween, Emily brought Tara Lewis, the MC from the Trivia night that was two years ahead of her in criminology, they ran into each other in the quad, recognizing each other. This open door policy made these dinners fun, with new faces alongside their team.

This was all new for Emily. Not having friends, that is, because Emily could always muddle along with some friends, and when she was younger she shaped herself easily into whatever the popular kids wanted her to be. No, it was new because it was so easy. The team, as they now called themselves as a shorthand, had fallen together so effortlessly. 

Today was Halloween and they had plans at Dave’s student house, the shabby place that she had ran into JJ, Penelope and Spencer all that time ago. Had it only been a month? She felt like she had known them all for lifetimes by now. 

It happened that way with Derek last year, the whole living together thing sped up that connection. Intimacy comes fast when you brush your teeth next to someone. 

Emily was sitting at her desk, finishing up her makeup. She was aiming for a vampire, which wasn’t hard given her previous fashion aesthetic. 

Yes, Emily did have a goth phase. She will admit it. Not to her new friends just yet, and Derek had been sworn to secrecy. She was now a much more toned down goth, more alt than goth, wearing mostly black but significantly less chains and make up. 

Tonight, she wore her fishnets, a short black dress and a cape that was already tied around her shoulders. She had put a slightly too pale foundation on her face, down her neck, and was currently working on her eye liner. She carefully created elegant swoops over her lashes, coming to sharp points. 

Next, she added a deep red lipstick. Blood red. It was all very spooky. 

Finally, she struggled to test out the fake teeth insert that she had ordered online, slipping it over her top teeth. It fit surprisingly well. 

“Happy Halloween,” she said to herself, testing out whether or not she had a lisp. She did. She didn’t care. It was perfect. 

Emily did a couple of spins in the mirror on the back of the door. Turning off the overhead light, she looked at herself in the glowing light of her string lights. 

She was satisfied. She looked like a hot vampire. 

She grabbed her tote bag, which was filled with six miscellaneous beers and coolers that she had leftover from the last few weeks, knowing that she hated the cheap hoppy beer that Rossi would have at his party. 

Emily was picky about her alcohol.

She glanced out the window, considering taking an extra layer. It was dreary outside, with the sky an eerie green and powerful gusts of wind rattling the window. Emily grabbed her leather jacket. 

Hoisting her bag onto her shoulder and draping her coat over her arm, Emily peeked out of her door, looking out into the hall. In both directions were students in costume; she spotted a Frankenstein, a couple of cats and even someone dressed up in an inflatable t-Rex suit. 

She made sure her door was locked and then walked down the hall to Derek’s room, who was at the very end of the hall, as he had lucked out and got a massive room with lots of windows, across from the showers. 

She opened the door, finding just about all of their friends already there, sneakily drinking out of mugs, cups and water bottles. 

Reid was a zombie, wearing tattered, bloody clothes and a full face of makeup that Emily assumed that Penelope did for him. Sitting next to his computer, queueing music for their pre, was Derek, dressed in a baseball jersey and hat, apparently as a baseball player. This was expected, he wasn’t big on Halloween. Hotch was… a devil? He wore all black and simply had devil horns on his head. Low commitment but the spirit was there. 

Emily hoisted herself onto Derek’s bed and greeted her friends. 

Spencer was sneaking up behind Derek, peeking his head over his shoulder. Derek, at that moment, seemed to be texting, squinting down at his phone. 

“I’m going to eat you!” Spencer yelled into Derek’s ear, causing the larger man to jump to his feet, swatting at the boy in his fright. 

Emily laughed at her friend’s distress. He really didn’t like Halloween that much. 

“Are you ready for a spooktacular evening?” Spence asked, making his voice wobbly as he put on a dramatic effect. He shone an orange, pumpkin patterned flashlight under his chin.

“Of course,” Emily lisped, “In fact, I vant to drink your blood!”

She lunged forward, and Spencer hid from her behind Derek. It was silly but she could tell how much he liked Halloween, he had talked about it all week, and she couldn’t help but adopt a lispy vampire voice to go with her costume. Though the boy was only two year younger than them, his thin frame and wide eyed expression made him seem much younger. 

“Your teeth are excellent,” Spencer pointed out, “Very realistic.”

“I don’t get the hype about Halloween,” Derek said, “Disguises? Pass. Horror movies? No thank you.”

“Booooooo,” Emily protested, “Don’t be a buzzkill, Morgan. Let us have a little fun.”

The door opened again, and Penelope, followed by JJ, joined them. 

“Is my statuesque god of sculpted chocolate thunder being lame again?”

“He barely dressed up,” Emily complained.

“Neither did Hotch!” Derek said, gesturing to Hotch’s devil horns. 

“Hey, at least I bought these at the party store,” Hotch said, “I’m sure both of those are items from your own closet.”

Derek did not confirm or deny this. Emily knew he wore the same get up last year.

“So when should we be there?” JJ asked.

She was dressed as a witch, with an oversized pointy hat perched on top of her head, her blonde hair falling around her shoulders in perfect curls. She wore a purple dress and tall boots to go with her witch look. She and Penelope joined Spencer on the floor, sitting with their backs to Derek’s closet and cracking open a beer for JJ and a fruity cooler for Penelope. 

With large wings, glittery make up and an adorable skirt, Penelope was clearly dressed up as a fairy, which was entirely apropos to who she was as a person. In fact, it was not entirely dissimilar from her normal outfits. 

“Rossi said to come by eight,” Hotch said, “So in party talk he means nine-thirty earliest.”

“It’s, what?” Derek checked the time on his laptop, “Eight fifteen now, so we can pre here for an hour or so then start walking over.”

“Yeah,” Hotch said, “His house is just off campus.”

“The weather is crazy out,” Penelope said, looking out the window. The trees were swaying and the leaves were blowing everywhere.

“We could take a cab?” Emily offered, “I’d rather avoid getting leaves in my hair tonight.”

There were some nods, then they got back to preing, playing a few rounds of King’s Cup to ensure that all of them were sufficiently drunk before they left.

Morgan put on his new playlist, not “For The Boys (and emily)” this time, but one titled “Team Vibez” that Emily had seen him make during their lecture on Thursday. It had a lot of his normal songs, some top hits, but a few fun pop songs that Emily knew he added for Penelope, and even some classic rock for Hotch. 

At this point, Emily was feeling buzzed. She had two cans discarded in the bin, both hosting lipstick prints from her dark red vampire lips. 

JJ was currently chatting with Hotch about some student government scandal that was happening at the time. While politics gave Emily the heebie jeebies, she had reluctantly joined the Criminology Academic Society. It would give her a leg up on grad school applications, for one, and so far, even as a low-level member, she found she was actually making a difference for her classmates. This meant that Emily, despite her deepest urges to not touch political scandals with a ten foot pole, knew exactly what they were talking about.

As the two discussed the student politicians—there were some minor accusations of nepotism, embezzlement and coverups by the undergraduate executive—Emily looked at JJ. Her brows were furrowed in concentration and she was gesturing wildly with her hands as she talked about how badly they were handling their crisis communications. 

Suddenly, interrupting this discussion, their phones blasted out a siren, followed by a chorus of the same robot voice announcing an emergency alert.

“National Weather Service: TORNADO WARNING in this area until 10:15PM EST,” the robot announced, “Take shelter now in a basement or an interior room on the lowest floor of a sturdy building.”

They looked at Derek’s three, large windows, and watched as large gusts of wind sent leaves barrelling down the street.

“If you are outdoors, in a mobile home, or in a vehicle, move to the closest substantial shelter and protect yourself from flying debris,” it continued. “Check media.”

Then, their phones went silent and Derek’s music continued unheeded. 

“A tornado?!” Penelope said, “Here?”

The window rattled. Derek stood up and hesitantly moved away from it. 

Penelope grabbed Derek’s computer, her hands moving in a flurry.

“Ok so,” she began, “from what I can gather from the good old Internet, we’re in a region of extreme winds and the meteorologists are thinking that funnel clouds and tornados are possible this evening.”

“So much for Halloween,” Spencer whined. 

“Party is definitely off,” Hotch said. “We should probably take shelter. Is there a basement here?”

“There’s the laundry room?” Emily said. 

Adrenaline started pulsing through her veins. She’d been through some severe weather before in her life but never a tornado, nor did she expect one. They were in the north east, nowhere near tornado Alley. 

They all stood, making a move for the basement, when the lights flickered once, twice, then shut off entirely. Rain begin to fall down, hard onto the windows, and the boom of thunder filled their ears. 

“Shit,” Emily said. “Anyone have a candle?”

 ---

Ten minutes later, the six of them were seated in a circle, on the strange carpeted floor of the laundry room, with the severe weather making the wind howl outside. Between JJ’s two candles, which were very against the rules, and Derek’s laptop screen, they had enough ambient light to see, but it was all very spooky. 

The room smelled damp and earthy, with a strange combination of laundry soaps and dryer sheets. They had to move a spare sock to form a circle around the candle. It looked very much like a séance, so that did fit the Halloween spirit. 

“Well,” Hotch said, “At least this is festive.”

Derek was still queuing his music, filling the silence with his DJ skills. 

“Aren’t you worried about your battery life?” JJ asked, “What if the power doesn’t come on in the morning.”

“Then I have a great excuse not to finish my essay,” Derek said with a shrug.

“Fair point.”

“Anyways,” Derek continued, “No sense giving up on our party. We have drinks, we have music and thanks to JJ we have illegal candles.”

“They’re not illegal!” She protested, “Simply very against res rules! I like lighting a candle while I study.”

“It’s lucky that there was no one left in res because of Halloween,” Emily said. “Or we would've had a bunch of party crashers.”

“This is better,” Penelope, “Team bonding!”

“What should we play?” Hotch said, “we don’t really have much to work with.”

“This is all very high school,” Penelope said, “A couple of kids, in a basement, sitting in a circle on the floor…”

“With a tornado tearing through our city…” Emily quipped. 

“Statistically speaking for this region we are more likely to experience dangerous winds rather than an actual tornado. Worst case is that fallen tree branches hit power lines, or fall onto houses or cars.”

“So you’re saying that we’re in the worst case scenario right now?” Hotch said. 

“Yup.”

Hotch frowned. 

“How about we play truth or dare?” Penelope changed the subject.

“I’m down,” Emily said, surprising herself. “If everyone else is.”

“I’ve never played!” Spencer said.

“Never?” JJ asked. “Not at any sleepovers.”

“I didn’t get invited to many sleepovers.”

“Neither did I,” Emily admitted, “Some parties I went to played it too.”

JJ looked at her, there was a brief look of sympathy, and then understanding on her face. Emily made note of that. 

“I guess we’re playing,” Hotch murmured. 

“Derek,” Penelope purred, “Mon cher, truth or dare?”

“Truth,” he said defiantly, bracing himself with a swig of whatever was in his water bottle.

“Who is the prettiest fairy in the basement?”

“You, of course,” he replied with a wink. 

“Gross!” Emily exclaimed, “Truth or dare is not for flirting. Hotch: truth or dare?”

“Dare,” he said with a quirk of his eyebrow. 

“Show us the… most embarrassing photo of you on your phone.” 

He frowned. 

“I don’t take many photos.”

“Try,” Emily urged with a laugh. 

He fumbled in his pockets, grabbing his phone and scrolling through his photo album for a few minutes. 

“It’s from high school,” Hotch said with a sigh. “I was in a play.”

He held up a photo of him in a pirates outfit, he looked smaller, younger than he did now. His hair was shaggy and his face rounder. He was pointing the sword at the camera. 

“Who’s the girl?” JJ asked. 

“My girlfriend Hayley,” Hotch said, “we’re long distance now. I joined the play to get close to her and it seems to have worked.”

“That’s not embarrassing,” Penelope said, “that’s adorable. Try again.”

“Oh I have one!” Emily said, pulling up her Snapchat memories. She had a photo of him conked out in a lecture last year. His mouth was open and his head conked back, fast asleep in a dimly lit lecture hall. Emily had taken a series of these photos before waking him up. 

“Now that’s what i'm talking about,” Derek said. 

“How can you fall asleep during lecture?” Spencer asked in horror. 

Hotch shrugged. 

“I was tired, we had a game the night before,” Hotch said. “Morgan: Truth or dare?”

“Dare.”

“I don’t know any dares,” Hotch looked around for help. 

“He could play the tinder game?” Emily said. 

“What tinder game?” 

“Oh that’s a good one,” JJ said, “Derek opens tinder and we randomly tell him which way to swipe and see who he matches with.”

Derek groaned. Opening the app and placing it down onto the carpet. 

“Right!” JJ said to start. 

A match.  

“Left?” Hotch said, it came out more like a question. 

“Right,” Emily said. Another match. 

Left, right, left, right. New message from a recent match, left, right, right, right, right. Derek looked on in horror. 

“Ok I think he’s had enough,” Emily said with a laugh. 

“Derek it’s your turn,” Penelope said. 

Derek sighs in relief. 

“Uhhh, Pretty Boy,” he turned to Reid. Thinking for a moment. “Have you ever smoked before?”

“Smoked what? Cannabis, tobacco? Something else. Be specific.”

Emily’s jaw dropped. 

“I dunno man,” Derek said, “I was talking about weed but go off.” 

“I have.”

“How?” JJ said, “You’re like sixteen! I haven’t even smoked weed.”

“Me neither,” Penelope said, sounding outright disappointed. 

“I believe it,” Hotch said. “He has a Juul.”

“Seventeen now,” Spencer said. “Kids in my first degree found it funny when I performed actions that they deemed mature for my young age. 

“What?” Penelope said. “But you were sixteen last week.”

“It was my birthday on Wednesday,” he said. 

“And we missed it?” JJ asked.

Emily decided not to inform them that her birthday had been a few weeks back as well. 

“It’s no big deal,” Spencer said, “I don’t really do birthdays.”

“Well I do birthdays!” Penelope said, “and you’re getting one.”

Emily could see the gears turning in Penelope’s head.

“Wait you haven’t smoked weed?” Emily said. She didn’t mean to sound so surprised, but hell, it was college. 

“I’ve never been offered,” Penelope said with a shrug.

“You have a Juul, Spence?” JJ said. 

He shrugged. 

“Anyways,” Derek said with a laugh. “Reid it’s your turn to ask.”

And the game continued roughly the same for a few more rounds, with some truths, some dares, a lot of drinking and a fair amount of laughter. 

Emily learned that JJ likes some angry rock music when she’s upset, that Penelope has committed several federal crimes, that Reid used to coach basketball in high school, that Derek has been posing nude for art classes on campus for extra cash, and that Hotch has never successfully completed a word search in his life. 

The dares were limited, because frankly they were basically hiding out in a basement during what might actually be a tornado. Emily was dared to do an impression of Hotch, which wasn’t good and involved a lot of eyebrows and frowning. After, JJ was forced to leave her snapchat at Garcia’s mercy for the entire night. Other dares involved dancing, attempting gymnastics, and seeing whether or not Reid fit into the dryer. He did. 

The game finally had played out when it was Hotch’s turn again to ask. 

“JJ, what’s your greatest fear?” Hotch asked.

“Mr. Serious over here,” Derek said with a whistle. 

“Probably the woods,” JJ replied. 

“Why?” Spencer asked, tilting his head. 

JJ grabbed a candle, holding it under her chin much like Reid did earlier. 

“I used to be a camp counselor, when I was a teenager. In the woods up in Vermont.”

She leaned forward. Emily didn’t know she worked at a camp. It made sense. She pictured her in a camp t-shirt making a bracelet. It suited her. 

“I had the night shift. I tucked the girls in, turned off the lights. The typical drill. Everything seemed fine; all the kids were asleep. You know, nothing seemed out of the ordinary.”

Another dramatic pause, both Spencer and Derek had leaned in, invested in the story. 

“Until I noticed there was some blood, on the hallway floor. So, I followed the blood trail out to the camp director’s cabin, walked up to his bed and he was just lying there, underneath his covers. Dead!”

Penelope gasped. The room was silent.

“Someone stabbed him. I ran out of there so fast, out the door, down the hall. I just remember it… being really dark. Once I got to the door, there was another counselor there. I guess she heard me scream.”

JJ set the candle down, looking at the flame flicker. This couldn’t be real, Emily thought, this had to be a joke. 

“They caught the caretaker on his way to town, I guess he still had the knife on him.” 

“Anyway, I guess that’s probably when I decided I didn’t like the woods.”

“You’re serious?!” Derek demanded. 

“No!” JJ said with a laugh. “You bought that! I’m kidding!”

“So are you afraid of the woods?” Emily asked.

“Yeah,” JJ said, “They’re spooky I don’t know.”

They all laughed at that. 

Emily glanced at her phone; they had been down here for almost two hours. According to Penelope’s intermittent checks on the status of the extreme weather, most of the city was experiencing black outs, but there was no sign of an actual tornado. They were still supposed to take shelter for the next hour or so, just in case. 

In this time, Emily was close to five drinks in, with only one left in the basement. A growing pile of empties had built up around them, and Hotch had pulled out a small bottle of whiskey in addition to his beer, passing it around the circle. Having recently turned 17, the group had officially decided to give Spencer a beer, which he nursed slowly, wincing at the bitter taste. 

“Emily,” JJ turned to her and looked mischievous. “Truth or dare?”

She felt her heart flutter.

“Truth.”

“Hmmm…” JJ said, “Where was the weirdest place you’ve ever had sex?”

Emily found herself blushing at the memory.

“Oh god,” Emily buried her face in her hands. “IHOP parking lot.”

“What?”  

Emily nodded, downing the last of her beer. 

“No further questions,” she proclaimed as she opened her next drink.

“I think that should conclude Truth or Dare,” Penelope said, “It’s time for another sleepover classic, since some of you are sleepover virgins.”

She grabbed Derek’s water bottle, plopping it down onto the carpet and spun it. 

“Spin the bottle!”

Emily went pale. What was Penelope doing? She stared into her drunk, not daring to look at anyone else. 

“That doesn’t seem very sanitary,” Spencer said.

“Boo,” Penelope, “You’re no fun. It’s a classic! And we’re all friends, it’ll be fun. Hotch you spin first.”

He looked horrified, but took the bottle. There was no getting in the way of Penelope Garcia’s will.

“The rules are simply: kiss or you have to finish your drink?,” Penelope said, “Got it?

Hotch nodded, he spun the bottle. It went around the circle, once, twice, three times, then landed clearly on himself.

“How do I kiss myself?” he said, deadpan. 

“Drink!” Emily told him. He downed his last beer.

Derek spun next, rubbing his hands together nervously as it went around and around. It landed on Penelope.

“Come here, chocolate thunder!” 

Derek took his baseball cap off, turning it backwards. Penelope pulled his shirt towards her, tugging on him as their lips met. They both closed their eyes, she could hear JJ giggle at the sight.

“Was that the only reason we’re playing this?” Spencer asked, “So that you could kiss Morgan?”

“Maybe?” Penelope, “What’s it to you, boy-genius!” 

He put his hands up in surrender, it was his turn. 

He spun the bottle awkwardly, so that it rocked back and forth in addition to spinning. It went around once before landing on JJ.

Emily wasn’t sure what to think about that. On one hand, he was just a kid and the kiss wouldn't be anything, but on the other hand, Emily was jealous that she didn’t get a kiss. 

“Come here, Spence!” JJ said, making a grabbing motion at the boy and laughing. 

He leaned in with his eyes closed, Emily wouldn’t be surprised if he told them he hadn’t done even this before. JJ put a hand on his face, turned it gently, and gave him a peck on the cheek.

Derek clapped him on the back and made a comment about it being ‘pretty boy’s first kiss,’ and Reid simply sat and blushed as he busied himself with drinking some of his beer. 

Emily’s turn. She tried not to cross her fingers and pray for JJ, but it happened anyways. It landed on Derek. Emily sighed dramatically.

“Ewwww,” Emily mock protested.

“Come on, princess,” Derek jeered, “You know you want some of this!”

He lifted his t-shirt up and rubbed his hands down his abs.

“Put that away sir!” she covered her eyes. 

“Oh come here,” she said, leaning in. They kissed on the lips with a loud ‘mwah!’ noise. 

“That was cute,” Hotch commented.

Emily fake gagged, while Morgan tried to wipe her red lipstick off him. 

Last was JJ in the circle. She spun it casually. Emily tried to read her facial expression, wondering if JJ, too, wanted it to land on Emily.

See, Emily was starting to believe that JJ liked her back. She was single, and for all Emily knew, she was straight, but the more Emily got to know her, she got queer vibes. She played soccer! Her nails were short and- 

Emily couldn’t think of any other things that moment, as she was currently freaking out about the spin the bottle situation that was presently unfolding. 

The moment in the bathroom, Emily thought, that was something! The way she looked at Emily… she was sure that she felt JJ’s eyes on her linger. 

The bottle landed on Emily. They had to kiss. It was part of the game.

Holy shit. 

Penelope squealed and Emily could feel the entire room's eyes on her, except JJ whose eyes were on the ground. 

Emily could hear her heartbeat. She desperately wanted to kiss JJ but did she want to under these circumstances? For a dare? 

JJ looked at her. Blue eyes staring into brown. She could hear her blood rushing in her ears. She found herself leaning forward, only slightly. JJ did the same. Her lips parted, her eyes hungry.

Emily shifted forward, she sat with her legs tucked under her, bracing herself with her arms. JJ was cross legged, her arms free to grab at her face. JJ’s hands tugged her forward.

Their lips met. 

It was uncertain, chaste, soft. Then, JJ’s hands pulled her closer. They were pressed together, heads tilting so that their noses didn’t bump.

Jennifer Jareau was kissing her. They were kissing!

Emily’s brain short circuited. JJ filled her senses; the blonde’s vanilla perfume and soft lips and the taste of alcohol on her tongue. 

Oh god, her tongue. 

Emily did not want it to end. Their mouths opened and their tongues slid against each other, feeling so perfect and sending Emily’s blood racing away from her face and noticeably south. 

JJ was incredibly hot and Emily desperately wanted to do more than kiss her. Or kiss her like this forever. Her ams were caressing her cheek and tangled in Emily’s hair, pulling her closer.

The lights flickered on; they had power, again. JJ pulled away from her, sharply. 

Emily sat back, sitting up straight. The room was luckily too distracted by the lights to notice how out of breath Emily was. Or that they probably shouldn’t have passionately made out on a dare. 

JJ wouldn’t meet her eye, but Emily could see her own lipstick on the other girl’s lips. Emily blinked at the bright light, started by the sudden return of the electricity after she had become accustomed to the dim light of the candle.

“What impressive timing,” Spencer murmured.

Taking the lights as a good sign, Penelope checked on the emergency alert. It was over and they were safe to go back upstairs. She found out that a few downed trees were the cause of the outage and there was never an actual tornado. No one was hurt but there was a bit of property damage throughout the city. 

Without the atmosphere of the candle light, and the likelihood of a RA doing a check of the building, they decided that that was the end of their party. They gathered up their empties, and blew out the candles.

As they finished up cleaning, all making sure not to leave any trace of their illicit affairs, Emily tried to quell her racing heart and blushing face, completely unable to look anyone in the eye. 

The door opened, their RA was there. Erin Strauss. She was a hardass.

“What are you all doing down here?” she demanded. 

They all stood, stock still, jaws dropped, smelling of alcohol and clutching clinking tote bags. 

“Erin,” Emily said, trying to sound as sober as possible despite the five plus drinks in her system, “We were simply following the directions on the emergency alert.”

“Yes! It said to seek shelter from the storm and the basement seemed the best for that,” Penelope said. 

“Uhuh,” Erin said, “What’s in the bag?”

The bag clinked. 

“Oh just some garbage,” Emily said, lying through her teeth. “We had some snacks.”

“Sure,” Erin said, not believing them. 

Emily tried not to sway, but did not feel steady on her feet. She wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or her recent kiss with JJ.

For a second, Emily was sure that their RA would bust their asses, but the girl simply sighed and told them to go to bed, muttering about how dealing with non-existent tornadoes wasn't part of her job.  

The six of them scurried upstairs, all freaked out about their near-miss with a write-up.

Reid disappeared up to his room, then JJ and Penelope walked down the hall to their’s. Emily slipped into Derek’s avoiding Erin Strauss’ watchful eye, helping Derek steady a very drunk Hotch.

Hotch, who had probably had a little too much of that whiskey, stumbled into Derek’s room and decided to sleep on the floor. Emily placed a water bottle next to him, and placed him in recovery position, glad for the distraction from the blush that refused to leave her face or the lingering taste of JJ on her lips. 

She walked slowly down the hall back to her own room, the events of that evening playing back in her mind. She threw herself onto her bed, dazed by her situation. 

Emily fell asleep with vampire make up still on her face that night. 

[luzdelmundo]

2020 in review

I was tagged to do this by the loveliest @unefleurofferte, thank you for letting me reflect on my life and for sharing your thoughts, stories and insights to your life, it was such a worthwhile read! <3 

I am tagging @maailmaonsun, @dunedjarin & @vinylchemist, feel free to do it if you feel like it! Sending you hugs and lots of warmth, I hope your 2021 will be a great year to you 🥰

Rules: answer the questions about 2020 and tag some people to pass it on!

5 favourite films you watched in 2020:

This is a compilation has no particular order, but I did love them all. 

The Theory of Everything - I was a bit late to the party, but this movie was something special 

The Gentlemen - this movie has it all, a great piece of entertainment 

What Happened, Miss Simone? - such a powerful piece

Age of Adaline - I adore everything about this movie, even with many medical inaccuracies 

Happiest Season - because who doesn’t love a lesbian Christmas movie after the hardest year to date

5 favourite tv shows you watched in 2020:

This year tv shows were the main coping mechanism and I’m not even sorry about it. 

Killing Eve - do I need to say more? 

Haunting of Bly Manor -  Dani and Jamie are the blueprint, I love them with my whole heart 

Dead to me - this was my comfort show for the majority of 2020 

The Playbook: Coach’s rules for life - related to the subject of my studies, really helped me to come up with my own coaching philosophy 

Grey’s Anatomy - yes, really, I rewatched the whole thing 2 times this year 

5 favourite songs you listened to in 2020:

Spotlight by Jessie Ware - this songs takes me to another dimension, I love the ambience, it was also a song my friends called the ultimate aesthetic of mine

III by Foster The People - it’s one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard in my life, my heart belongs to that song

Sao Paolo by Lapti - the ultimate song for chilling, road trips, cooking and everything in between

Dog Years by Maggie Rogers - personal favourite for the 2nd year in a row, if I would ever describe my attachment style or love languages I would use this song 

seven by Taylor Swift - it was a song that made me realise certain childhood behaviours, it always makes me tear up and it is special, will always be 

Top 5 albums of 2020:

What’s your pleasure? by Jessie Ware - she has always been my favourite, and this album is truly something else. Best record of 2020, no doubt about it 

- Ugh, those feels again by Snoh Alegra - she’s been my biggest discovery of 2020 and I’m so happy I found her 

Fine Line by Harry Styles - he is my sweetheart, this album was definitely one of my most listened 

The S(EX) Tapes by FLETCHER - a queer breakup album? It’s everything I never knew I needed 

Iridescent by Ayoni - such a wonderful vibe, 10/10 

Top 5 books you read in 2020:

2020 was definitely not a reading year for me and I can openly admit it, although there were some pieces I will treasure for a long time 

The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus - I love this man’s writing, it has been a favourite for a long time, but I kept coming back to this one to find the meaning for all that has happened 

The Rebel by Albert Camus - yes. another one from him. just because. 

Becoming by Michelle Obama - this is a Michelle Obama stan Tumblr 

The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth - being gay and coming from a Catholic background made this read a hard one, but worth it 

The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt - Donna Tartt, that is all. 

How did you spend your birthday this year?

I spent it with my best friend, we went hiking, we had tacos & margaritas. It was a nice relief and an escape from the pandemic reality. It felt great. I also had a small family celebration later that weekend. 

What was your most memorable day this year?

Getting into the sports coaching school. I came home from the office I had an internship, I was tired, I was in a crisis//survival mode, I was tired of business, of who I was. My life had little to no meaning anymore. I was a robot, I thought the world has very little to offer. Then I suddenly got an e-mail I got in. The entire world turned upside down. I am happier, I glow here, I belong here. It makes me cry having to think about it. It was the biggest blessing of 2020, hands down. 

What was your most memorable meal you had this year?

There were many, but I think the most memorable and meaningful one was when my best friend baked a Ukrainian cheesecake and embraced her heritage. Also, making hummus with my new flatmates after moving to the dorm was a big one. Also, shakshuka became my comfort meal of the year. 

Did you find any new hobbies or interests in quarantine?

Quite some, yes! I started paining again, I became a plant mom and a gardening expert, I grew my own cucumbers and tomatoes. I started baking again and make aesthetic moodboards on Pinterest getting pretty big following!  It’s one of my favourite spare time activities now!

What was the last big event/thing you remember doing BC (before covid)?

Going clubbing with my friends, I miss going out and dancing my heart out. 

5 good/positive things that happened to you in 2020:

Getting into my dream school!!!! I will be a sports performance coach, it still feels like an actual dream 

Going to therapy and dealing with personal problems, it was one of the best decision of my life 

Coming out to myself and living my truth

Losing the feeling of having to prove things to people

Learning that I can’t control everything and that it is okay. Life goes on. And it gets better.

Biggest messages or lessons learnt from this year?

Life can change within seconds, everything flows and goes, it in constant movements. Your inner critic lies, it will be okay and you will find yourself, find your heart. Love is loud. Love is beautiful, love makes the world go round. Growth is hard, overwhelmingly hard, but it is so so so so worth it. Magic happens everyday. Your gut knows, trust it. Protecting your peace is crucial for your sanity. 

And what are you most looking forward to in 2021?

Living, simple as that. For me 2021 will be the year of presence - wherever I’ll be, I will be fully there. 

[itcameuponamidnightqueer]

2019 is over and i have feelings

it’s the end of the year and this is mostly filled with rambling half-thoughts, but that’s what you do at the end of the year—you reflect and ramble until it almost turns into something. this is under a read more only because i don’t like clogging up people’s dashes with really long posts, so you know, skip or read at your own leisure.

i don’t really ever do any kind of reflecting that doesn’t come out in the form of fanfiction. i have some feelings, i write a few thousand words about them, i throw them out into the world, and that’s it. i’ll reread my own stuff but i never really think again about what prompted me to write them because it’s over. the feelings are done but the words are memories and that’s all i need, usually.

but 2019 was a tough year in ways that i can’t express in fic, so i’ll just throw out a few thousand personal words and be done with it.

in september of 2018, my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer and i don’t think i’ve really been happy since. most of it isn’t being sad about the diagnosis—maybe a lot of it is and i just need a whole heap of therapy to unpack that—but rather how much the cancer changed. it was very advanced when they caught it and she’s made almost a complete recovery in just over a year, and given how shitty everything was to start, this is the best way a bad situation could have ended. not that it’s over, but you know.

it shifted our family completely. i don’t think it brought us closer, maybe my sister or my parents feel differently, but i don’t. morgie turned inward for maybe the first time in her life and kept us at arm’s length in the beginning. she told us very clearly that she didn’t want the cancer to take over her whole life—she wanted us to act normal and talk about normal things as if this was just a temporary snag.

i’ve had epilepsy since i was fifteen months old. i know what it feels like to do that same thing, to minimize and downplay the experience of a chronic condition. because my epilepsy has, gratefully, been very manageable. i can count on one hand the number of seizures i remember having. i have an annual checkup with a neurologist, she confirms the dosage of my meds, and i say goodbye. that’s it, no problem, see you next year.

(it could be so much worse, they say. you’re very lucky, you hear for twenty nine years.

i am not lucky.)

morgan’s cancer kind of opened the flood gates, i think, and a whole heap of shit came spilling out. you know how you see those posts on here about ADHD or autism and a few captions down the line someone is always like, “wait, you mean not everyone [is like this] or [does that]?” i feel like i’m just coming to realize that about my childhood.

not everyone takes days off of school to go to the children’s hospital—for an EEG, or an MRI, or to get blood drawn, etc. “normal” seven-year-olds probably aren’t managing their own prescriptions. my condition is less severe than many others’ but that doesn’t mean it’s normal. it’s certainly not. i’ve always understood “it’s manageable” to mean “it’s not traumatic”, and only now am i realizing that the two aren’t mutually exclusive.

and all of a sudden, this thing that i’ve been living with for so long, that i thought i had under control, is rearing back with a vengeance. and because i have been taught to be grateful for the “best” of a bad situation, because its mildness has turned it into something we don’t talk about, i draw inward and it festers and rots into shame. i’ve been operating like this since i was a kid and i think maybe i’ve finally hit capacity.

on top of that, i’ve been going through a bit of an identity crisis. i seem to do that every few years—five years ago as ace, four years ago as nonbinary—and i guess it’s time for another one. tbh it’s kind of been scraping at the back of my brain ever since i realized i was nonbinary, because even that didn’t feel like enough, but i didn’t know what would. 

i’ve said it in a few posts over the years (probably somewhere in both of the linked ones), but i personally really like labels. i spend so much of my time with myself (physically, sure, but i mean emotionally) and very rarely ever share things out loud, so how can i know who i am if i don’t find the right words? gay was good to start. ace fit in later, and then eventually it was just queer. and it will probably stay queer, but there are different parts of my queerness that i haven’t named yet, and the ambiguity is making me itch.

i’ve had this post sitting in my likes for about a week now—i identify with it too much to ignore, but it scares me too much to reblog it, and also i don’t want to until i can explain my feelings and fears. transness feels like something i’ve been hiding from for a while—not in a repulsive way. more like that “i’m in this photo and i don’t like it” meme. that thread encapsulates a lot of what i’ve been thinking about and struggling with for a few months: that i don’t feel trans ~enough, but i also don’t feel not-trans. 

everything i’ve been thinking about feels like i’m quibbling with myself over something really small, like how much of a difference would it really make to think of myself as trans...instead of? along with? being nonbinary; why is this a detail i’ve been obsessing over. everything i said in the nb post is still true, except my concept of gender has changed a little since i wrote it. i don’t feel like a woman and i don’t feel like a man, except i also don’t think gender means anything, even when presented as two binary options, so what do i really know? how do i know i’m not a man if i think “man” means nothing?

and i really am thinking about it in the smallest of terms—headcanon-ing characters as trans, feeling drawn to the trans flag over any others. it’s really dumb, that this is what’s triggering a bit of gay panic. what does it matter, i keep asking myself. i’ve seen posts over the years breaking down the stripes of each flag, pointing out that nb/genderqueer identities are already represented, and i wish that were enough but it’s not. it’s so dumb, i keep thinking, to see myself in the whole of the trans flag when i don’t think i belong to the whole transgender experience. and even that sounds dumb, when i hear it—of course there isn’t one whole transgender experience. i hear it, but i haven’t yet listened.

anyway. all of this and a lot of other things have been broiling and rotting inside of me for my whole life probably. i’ve literally never said any of this out loud, to friends or family or strangers. i’ve worn that like a badge since high school—isn’t it admirable, how i can talk and laugh and live without dumping my problems on anyone else. isn’t it better to be accommodating, to keep your burdens from weighing other people down? only you don’t realize until later how tiresome it is to be heavy. 

now that i have all of my fics moved over to AO3, i’ve been thinking about all that i’ve written over the years. it’s just shy of 730k. that’s more than the first five harry potter novels combined, and i’ve never told anyone in my life about it. that’s twelve years and so much of me to keep to myself. but i’ve done it because that’s kind of what i learned to do—my epilepsy was my first and most guarded secret and along the way i guess i learned to do that with everything. it doesn’t help that so many of my interests have been things that are either solitary or a source of “shame”. most of my friends i know through various social media sites. i’ve had this tumblr for nine years and the only people who know about it are other tumblr users.  there is so much more of me than a few hundred thousand words hanging around this garbage dump. 

i don’t know if there are any conclusions here. 2019 was rough, for even more reasons than i’ve barfed into this post. i’m not sure if i’ve learned anything from it; i don’t feel wiser or anything. i feel tired and mostly sad. i wish i could snap my fingers and resolve everything, but if i could do that, i’d already have done it. on top of everything, these are probably my last few months in chicago for a while, but that’s a whole other mountain of feelings to unpack.

anyway, i’m going into 2020 determined to get over myself, maybe find a therapist and a good masseuse.  

happy new year.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey steph do you have some soft/fluffy hospital fics ,if not fluff angst will do too .

Hi Lovely! 

LOL I’m laughing so hard at the wording of this ask: “If you don’t want to make me feel all gooey, just murdering me will be fine too” XD XD. 

Ahh, this would fall into my “Sick Fics” categories, which I have MANY of… so I’ll just.. give you a few of the ones I have where hospitals are the setting of the story, rather than a brief mention (uh, basically, I did a tag search and here’s what I found LOL LOL)

HOSPITAL FICS

Prayers by Jberry (M, 665 w. || H/C, Injury, John Whump, Fear of Death, First Person Sherlock) – Sherlock has never been a man who prayed.

Promises Kept by grannysknitting (K+, 844 w. || John POV, Hurt/Comfort, Friendship / Pre-Slash, Sherlock’s Violin, Worried Sherlock, John Whump, Post-TGG) – When they were in hospital, Sherlock made a promise to himself. Now he's keeping it. Set after 'Polygamous Marriage' but before 'Back in the Saddle'

Possessive by Fang323 (T, 850 w. || John Whump, Hospitalization, Possessive / Protective Sherlock, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort) – His John did not belong. Not here. Not in this blasted hospital. It simply was not logical.

Concussions And Good Old Fashioned Awkwardness by Belldere (K+, 894 w. || Humour, Hospitals, Mild John Whump, Misunderstandings, Platonic Relationship, Concussions, Not-Gay John, Possessive Sherlock) – When John lands himself in hospital... again, all he wants is to just get out of there as soon as possible, too bad his doctor has other ideas about where John may be getting his injuries. Good thing concussions make everything strangely funnier.

The Sidewalk by politewarning (K, 956 w. || Post-TRF, Angst, Friendship, Sherlock’s Birthday) – Standing on the sidewalk outside the hospital on the 6th of January to have a one-sided conversation with his dead friend was not something John had intended to make into a ritual.

Dismantle the Sun by Mount_Seleya (T, 965 w. || John Whump, 3G, Angst, Grief) – After a gunshot leaves John in critical condition, Sherlock holds vigil beside his hospital bed, slowly unravelling as the night progresses.

I Was Wrong by AllesandraQuartermaine (K, 1,496 w. || TGG AU, Friendship, Hospitalization / Injury, John’s Self Esteem, Sleepy Sherlock) – Sherlock and John have a conversation a few days after the pool face off with Moriarty. And John hears something quite surprising.

Giveaway Fic #9 - Angsty Sick Fic/Sherlock is Sick by ConsultingPurplePants (T, 1,734 w. || Sick Fic, Hypothermia) – The next time he awakens is even more chaotic. Two doctors are shouting at each other in the corner, and John is holding his hand so tightly Sherlock is worried he’ll break it. Part 9 of 1000 Tumblr Followers Giveaway Fics

Quite Contrary by Hollyesque (T, 1,805 w. || HLV Fic, Sherlock Whump / After Mary Shot Sherlock, Hallucinations / Flashbacks / PTSD, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Lestrade POV, ) – A short one-shot, alternate scene to Greg's hospital visit in HLV. Instead of Sherlock disappearing, Greg is faced with an unexpected reaction to a hospitalized Sherlock and winds up figuring out something that he really would have rather not known.

In Which Lestrade Looks in on Sherlock and Observes by Aztecwarfareandcrumping (K+, 1,833 w. || Lestrade POV, Friendship, Hurt Comfort, John Whump) – John's in hospital, which means Sherlock is, too. Lestrade takes it upon himself to look in on them.

BBCSH 'Poor Mary' by tigersilver (M, 1,839 w.|| HLV Fic, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Pining Sherlock, Hospitalization, Missing Scene, Sherlock POV) – As the tin says above, this is a missing scene, set directly after Sherlock awakens in hospital after having been shot by his best mate's wife. Minor angst, some pining, nothing nasty; please don't be alarmed unduly.

The Doctor's Capable Hands by Totally-Out-Of-It (K+, 2,012 w. || Sherlock Whump, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Anxious Sherlock) – Sherlock is injured during a chase. John sits watchful at his bedside in the hospital and wonders. He wouldn't leave Sherlock alone like this. Especially not if Sherlock wanted him to stay.

Crisis Averted by Spartangal22 (T, 2,188 w. || HLV Fic, Missing Scene After Confronting Mary, Canon Compliant, Sherlock Whump / Mary Shot Sherlock, Family / Friendship, Hospitalization, Sherlock POV, Holmes Brothers) – Lying in the hospital, Sherlock receives some surprising visitors, and manages to deal with two problems he's been having lately. A missing scene from HLV about a formal introduction that was never made and a visit that was never shown.

Domino by Deception's Call (K, 2,689 w. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Scared / Worried Sherlock, John Whump, Crying Sherlock, Hospital, Implied Caretaker Sherlock) – When John is injured on a case and is admitted to the hospital, those at Scotland Yard come to realize that perhaps Sherlock Holmes has a heart after all.

Waiting and Recovery by A Wandering Minstrel (K+, 3,173 w. || H/C, Friendship) – Lestrade waits for news of Sherlock and John at the hospital. Mrs. Hudson looks after her boys. Two companion pieces.

MR# 1430155 by blueink3 (T, 3,560 w. || Talks of Parentlock, Baby Watson, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Fluff and Angst) – John paces the length of the not inconsiderable hallway and glances at his phone for the tenth time since he exited the hospital room seven minutes ago. Sherlock’s last text was sent at 5:06pm. It is now 5:39pm. He should be here by now. After all, his daughter is 46-minutes-old and if John is going to share this momentous event with someone, it sure as hell isn’t going to be the woman who just gave birth to her. Part 5 of Tumblr Prompts

Memories Lost on Christmas Day by agnesanutter, PlainJane (G, 4,479 w. || Fluff, Hospitals, Worried Sherlock, Post-TRF, Christmas) – It's the day before Christmas and Sherlock and John are exactly where they need to be....

Carry On by Mazarin221b (M, 4,647 w. || 5 and Ones, H/C, Afghanistan, Frottage, Hand Jobs, First Time, Drunk John, Hospitals, Humour, Soft Sex) – Five times John didn't want to be carried, and one time he did.

The Refining Fire by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 5,451 w. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Friendship, Alternating POV (Lestrade, Mycroft, Sherlock), Worried Sherlock, Hospital Recovery) – Fire can burn things to ashes, but it can also burn things together.

EMERGENCY CONTACT: Sherlock Holmes, RELATIONSHIP: n/a by blueink3 (M, 5,533 w. || Hurt John/3G, Fluff & Angst) – The first time John Watson’s emergency contact is called is the first time Sherlock Holmes finds out that he has the job. Part 1 of The Emergency Contact Series

EMERGENCY CONTACT: John Watson, RELATIONSHIP: Saint by blueink3 (M, 6,229 w. || Hurt Sherlock, 5+1, H/C, Caring John, Scars) – The first time Sherlock Holmes realizes he needs an emergency contact is the first time he mentally appoints John Watson with the job. John, of course, does not know this and neither does the local hospital. Part 2 of The Emergency Contact Series

BANG by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 7,016 w. || Post-TGG AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Worried / Scared Sherlock, Alternating POV, Whump, Hospital Recovery, Open Ending) – 'I should warn you,' Sherlock says, his voice steady and his eyes fixed on Moriarty. 'You are sadly misinformed.' And he fires. Prequel to M Is For Moriarty

With This Ring by Quesarasara (E, 9,121 w. || Est. Rel., Marriage Proposal, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Idiots in Love, Embarrassing Hospital Visits) – Sometimes even the best of plans go wrong. And sometimes wrong turns out to be exactly right.

The Dying Doctor by Transcendental Starlight (T, 11,258 w. || Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Sick John / John Whump, ACD Rewrite) – Loosely based off ACD's "The Dying Detective." Sherlock relives a case that should have killed him, but instead resulted in John being hospitalized for a deadly disease. Sherlock endeavors to catch the murderer, while attempting to envision a future without John Watson. No Slash.

Obsession by storylover18 (K+, 15,213 w. || HC, Case Fic, Friendship) - Dr. John Watson wakes up ill one morning but it is not the 24 hour flu he thinks it was. Soon he lands in hospital, quickly deteriorating and Sherlock must work to find out what has happened to his blogger before it is too late. Case!fic mixed with sick!fic / No slash.

The Yellow Poppies by SilentAuror (E, 34,952 w. || H/C, Nightmares, HLV Fix-It, PTSD, Trauma, POV Sherlock, Doctor John) – Sherlock is threatened and assaulted in the hospital immediately after having been shot in the heart, first by Mary, then by Magnussen. As he recovers at Baker Street with John and plans the attack on Appledore with Mycroft, he fights to work through the trauma caused by these two visits. Set during His Last Vow.

M Is For Moriarty by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 29,882 w. || Suspense, Mystery, Case Fic, Worried Sherlock, No Slash, Whump) – A figure at the end of the hospital bed; a needle in the dark...Moriarty has John, and Sherlock must follow the paper trail through London to find him before time runs out. Sequel to BANG.

Triage by scullyseviltwin (E, 51,612 w. || Character Injury, Introspection) – Sherlock’s mind goes exceedingly, devastatingly quiet and gray-blank. When he speaks it’s through a thick haze, it’s through molasses, he’s so disconnected from the words that it may as well be the unconscious shooter speaking.

[appleflavoredkitkats]

Book of Mormon Fanfiction Recommendations (Mostly McPriceley)

 These are my favorite Book of Mormon fanfictions. These are mostly McPriceley because most more than half of the fanfictions that the Book of Mormon archive has is McPriceley. This is a much bigger list than my other one. Extras at the end and if I find more in the future, check the notes.

Bold and italicized are my favorites.

I do not own any of these.

McPriceley

1. Little Syncopations

Five times Elder Price made matters terribly frustrating for Elder McKinley…well, sort of.

2. The Size of Orlando, Florida

“What are you keeping from me?” Elder McKinley asks. “I’m supposed to be your district leader, Ke- Elder, and I have to say you’re making it darn near impossible. I try to ask how you’re doing, I try to show you I’m there for you, I try to make sure you feel valued and supported by m- us, and you just… run away! Every single time, Elder! I’ve had enough of it! I will not let you leave this room until you feel cared for.”Kevin Price has everything under control… except for his inappropriate reaction to his district leader.

3. Saints of a Different Kind

Elder Price realizes he might have more than platonic feelings for Elder McKinley at a super inconvenient time. Also, he’s 100000% straight, so that makes no sense. Ignoring it should work! He will just sit there, consumed with lust for the rest of the evening.

4. just not telling the whole truth

That’s why Elder Price is safe to like, is safe to dote over, is safe to fantasize about, because he can learn to feel more comfortable with his – with his alternate thoughts, if you will, without any fear of his thoughts being reciprocated. Without his reoccurring fear that any close bond he forms with a man will crumble in on itself due to his own discomfort and self-hatred just like it did with Steve.He learns that he shouldn’t love boys years before he realizes he does, he learns that he doesn’t love himself years before he realizes he should, and he learns that he can do both less than one year after he meets Elder Price.

5. Settling for More

He wanted to kiss Kevin. He wanted to do more than just kiss Kevin.He couldn’t tell Kevin he wanted that.

6. Sing For Ourselves Alone

In which Connor is a flirty drunk and Kevin is a dork.

7.  Of Pop Tarts And Elephants

In which there is a completely reasonable, heterosexual explanation for why Kevin can’t stop thinking about Elder McKinley. Also, the Game of Life is played.

8. Sardines

The Elders of District 9 decide to play a game of Sardines and end up packed into a closet and Kevin can’t keep his hands to himself.

9.  Cookies and Confidences (Cunningham/Nabulungi)

Elder McKinley and Nabulungi talk about their boy problems.

10.  As It Is

In a world where people’s first touches leave a spot of color on each others’ skin, some more vivid than other, Kevin has never given much thought to how and when he will receive his actual soulmate mark. 

11.  Rules Are Overrated

Elder McKinley twirls the feather between his fingers which, for some reason, spurs Elder Price into a choking fit. “May I ask what I was doing?”

Elder Price mumbles something that sounds suspiciously like, “More like who,” but he’s still coughing a little and Elder McKinley can’t be sure that he heard correctly.

(In which Elder McKinley finally finds out that he was in Elder Price’s hell dream).

12.  miserably, honestly, imperceptively

“Does he make your heart kind of flutter?” Arnold asked one day.

Kevin felt like he couldn’t breathe as he choked out, “Yes.”

“Does he make your eyes sort of blur?” Nabulungi asked, on his other side.

Kevin closed them and said, “Oh no.”

13.  Of Coffee and Kisses

Elder Price couldn’t sleep that night. Turns out, he wasn’t the only one. 

14.  A Minor Crisis

It was Elder McKinley’s birthday, and they did not have a cake.

15.  Have You Tried Turning It Off And On Again?

It isn’t long after Elder Price and Elder Cunningham appear in Uganda that Connor McKinley realizes that Turning It Off is going to be a lot harder than it used to be. 

16.  5 Times Elders Price and McKinley Accidentally Flirted With Each Other And One Time They Did It On Purpose

While Elder Price and Elder McKinley are both talented at many things, neither of them are adapt at flirting, especially not with each other. 

17.  Maybe

Caught in a violent storm during a shopping trip in town, Elder McKinley and Elder Price are forced to check in to a hotel overnight. 

18.  With a Sunflower Tie

“Connor waves him off, grinning in delight. ‘No, that’s fine, it’s just a little… well, unconventional. I kind of assumed you’d be more of a vanilla guy, but… wow, Kevin Price has a kink. I don’t suppose you want me to tie you up or anything while I’m at it?’

Holy crap. 'Geez, Connor,’ Kevin says, pressing one hand firmly to his crotch. 'You can’t just say things like that.’ He didn’t even know that was a turn on until it passed Connor’s lips.”

19.  lean into the unexpected

Kevin remembers, when he was younger, being mesmerized by the idea of having a soulmate. Seeing his mother’s name in her neat script on his father’s wrist, just there all the time, made him want his own; every time he asked about it, he was always just met with a shrug and the same answer of “You’ll know eventually.” The thing was, he didn’t want to wait for eventually. He wanted to know now. He wanted that name to be there so he could start looking for her, but no adult would tell him anything. 

20.  Soul-Eater

 "Shame is a soul-eating emotion.“ - Carl Jung

21.  Graceful

Connor McKinley never really considered himself exceptionally graceful, but years of dance lessons had left a mark. A great sense of balance, good posture, quick reflexes – Connor didn’t realize how much he took it all for granted until the day Kevin Price walked into the mission hut and turned him into a clumsy oaf. 

22.  McPriceley Prompts

a collection of short one-shots inspired by this tumblr post I found (which I would link if I knew how to do that in an AO3 summary)

All of it is in the same universe (canon Uganda), but each prompt exists by itself.

23.  Shifting Priorities

The Hell dreams have been getting worse. Ever since Kevin Price strode into Connor’s life, they’ve been getting worse, so bad that he resolves that the only solution is to stop sleeping.

It’s a temporary solution. Connor knew it wouldn’t last forever. He didn’t think, however, that Kevin would be by Connor’s side when he awoke from the Hell dream, didn’t think Kevin would care so much when he woke up screaming, or wonder why he was still crying.

He didn’t think anyone would care at all. He’s not sure he understands it.

24.  In-Between

The Christmases of 2011-2013 are entirely different, yet never bad. 

25.  you’re my christmas present this year

Christmas in Uganda is… different, to Christmas at home. 

26.  A Portrait of Kevin Price as a Young Mormon

“Get lost,” says Connor, smiling. “We are nineteen years old, we have our whole lives ahead of us. Screw secure futures. It’s about here and now, right?”

Kevin nods. “Latter Day doesn’t mean afterlife, it means tomorrow.”

“Right,” Connor says. He hums to himself, a tune that Kevin doesn’t recognise. “Screw the past, too.” “Aye aye, Captain,” says Kevin. “Screw the past.” Or; Arnold is the greatest best friend in the world, Connor is a jerk, and Kevin Price is hot and bothered.

27.  Team Building

McKinley suggests a board game night and somehow ends up in a closet with Elder Price. 

28.  Right. Anyway. Off.

"five times McKinley says he doesn’t love Kevin, and the one time he admits it."  

29.  The District Leader Is Short

Being short wasn’t so bad for Connor McKinley. It meant he was always in the front for dance recitals and never had to worry about ducking his head. The only downside to being as tall as of a middle schooler was having to look up to Elder Price, which really wasn’t all that much of a downside.

(Basically, Connor needs someone who can reach all the tall things and Kevin accidentally gets the job.)

30.  The Pros and Cons of Breathing

"It wasn’t until the third night he refused kitchen duty that they started to worry.”

31. Telephone Wire 

Your run-of-the-mill Mcpriceley: Connor has some serious self-esteem issues, Hell dreams, romantic talks by a lake in the fine Ugandan wilderness… 

32.  Oh..

In which Connor has a HUGE crush on Kevin and Kevin likes him back, but Kevin himself is the last person in Uganda to realize. 

33.  Touch Me

The elders of District Nine are all, as a rule, unimpressive alphas or betas, except for Elders Cunningham and Price. They are poor, unfortunate, unmanifested souls; people without a secondary gender. At least, they were. 

34.  Loathing Self-Assassination

No one is going to worry about him. As much as it hurts, he knows that he doesn’t deserve to be worried about. He doesn’t deserve to be spoiled and pampered with attention. But that doesn’t stop him from thinking about it miserably sometimes. Oh, how nice it would be to have someone dote on him. Comfort him. Love him. But who could ever love pathetic Connor McKinley?

Sometimes, on those self-indulgent nights, he thinks that someone is Kevin Price.

35.  Almost As Exciting As Orlando

Kevin Price is a great Secret Santa. 

36.  Seven Boxes

“i did that annoying thing where i put loads of smaller boxes inside one big box and you’re getting really mad but you don’t know that the ring is in the smallest box and i can’t wait to see your face” 

37. Imitation

When Kevin finds himself having gay thoughts, he turns to the resident expert on them to sort them out and ends up getting more than he bargained for.

38. National Hug Day

Even back home in Utah Connor suspects that there will probably be times when he’ll need to keep his elders’ spirits up, and how better than by celebrating some fun holidays together?

 39.  Poster Child

Connor was convinced that God was slowly mending his sinful, perverse mind. He wasn’t having a difficult time turning it off, the other Elders were handsome, but they weren’t his style.

That was until he showed up and ruined everything with his stupid beautiful face and his obnoxiously endearing ego.

Elder Kevin Price, the gosh darn b-word!

40.  You’re A Good Mormon, Elder Price

The missionaries are assigned new companions for the next three months, and Elder Price’s new roommate brings out things in himself he never thought he was capable of.

41.  Three Times Arnold Didn’t Get It (And The One Time Kevin Spelled It Out For Him) 

Not bothering to knock, he opens the door to their quarters and says, “Oh Battlestar Galactica!” Which wasn’t what he was going to say, but when he sees a very shirtless Elder McKinley straddling an equally shirtless Kevin Price, all rehearsed dialogue goes flying out the window. :: - :: Arnold knows he can be a little dense about some things but to consistently miss the fact that his district leader has been boning his best friend? That has got to be some sort of feat.

42.  Butterfly Kisses and Birthday Wishes

A stolen caress and inadvertent cuddle during Movie Night plunges Connor McKinley and Kevin Price into their first ever romantic relationship in post-canon Uganda. As their relationship progresses, Kevin tries to move things a little bit faster than Connor is ready for, but eventually the time is right for both of them.

Or shameless McPricely fluff where Connor and Kevin share all of their firsts together.

43.  Sydney Carton Doesn’t Have Shit On Me

Connor McKinley has Great Expectations, and arrogant, brooding, straight Kevin Price is most definitely not his dashing, heroic love interest. Seriously.

44.  “Obviously You Are Not Skilled In The Art Of Doing Things You Aren’t Supposed To.”

Sentence Prompt #11- “"Obviously you are not skilled in The Art Of Doing Things You Aren’t Supposed To.”

45.  “Hey! My Eyes Are Up Here!”

Sentence Prompt #2- “Hey! My eyes are up here!”

46. “How Much Does It Hurt?”

Sentence Prompt #17- “How much does it hurt?”

47.  Latter-Day Blues

“Our rules can change too, guys. I really don’t think anything bad will happen if we let a few of those things slide — I mean, who here is going to care now?” In which the Church washes its hands of the Uganda mission, leaving a bunch of confused, abandoned boys who are unaccustomed to freedom in its wake.

48. Untitled

49.  In All My Years

Connor has had many things happen in his life. Ballet lessons, rejection, and first loves. This is a look into eight different parts of his life.

50.  .laundry

(drabble) prompt fill: slow dancing

51.  .malaria

(drabble) prompt fill: caring for the other when sick

52.  Want To Talk About It?

Kevin can’t sleep, it’s Connor’s fault.

53. Season of Love 

Connor hasn’t been to church in a very, very long time.

54. Blue and Pink

Connor McKinley looks in the mirror.

55.  Tan and White

Sequel to “Blue and Pink”

56.  Desperation

Arnold then grinned mischievously. He sat up to face Elder Thomas. “Well, Poptarts, if you’re in, we could do a spot of matchmaking.”

Nothing ever seems to happen between Connor McKinley and Kevin Price, except longing looks and gentle brushes that are just platonic enough to not imply anything. Chris and Arnold think that something should be done.

57.  Turn It Off

“Where’s your 'nifty, little Mormon trick,’ now? What good is it if you can’t use it when you need it most?”

58.  Baby Steps (To Our Paradise Planet)

Elder Price was something else, he really was. Boys like him were the reason Elder McKinley came up with his entire lightswitch coping mechanism in the first place, and boys like him were why the lightswitch coping mechanism did not actually tend to work very well. Sure, in theory, it worked like a charm; memories of the fifth grade could be flicked off just like that. Everybody did that. Everybody did not have to look Elder Price in his glowing, grinning face and pretend that they were not halfway in love with him.

59.  Poorboys and Pilgrims

Officially the remaining Elders are running themselves as a collective in the absence of their District Leader. But to nobody’s surprise Elder Price has declared himself in charge. You can lead a horse away from conventional Mormonism but you cannot force him not to be self-important and overly-righteous, even if this the new and improved Elder Price has learnt a little humility alongside his propensity towards vulgarity.

(Or, Elder McKinley and Elder Thomas go missing after a routine trip.)

60.  Rarefied Air

“Elder Price,” and Connor only called him that half wistfully and half in jest, although he looked deadly serious now, “are you attracted to me?” “No,” said Kevin, decisively. And even though it was the right answer, Kevin blushed and looked away, as though he was lying. “Oh,” Connor said, face paling even as his smile widened, “that’s good.”

In which Kevin wishes to experience temptation. It proves harder than expected.’

61.  Nocturne

Kevin is sick; Connor cares for him. The subconscious is a strange thing. Price/McKinley, indulgent sick!fic. Part of the same universe as Rags to Rags but can be read as a stand-alone.

62.  Dead Guy Walking

Heathers the Musical Dead Girl Walking!AU

What it says on the tin. With the District 9 Uganda Mission shut down and the weight of disappointment from the Church and his family riding on his shoulders, Connor decides that Heaven Father can forgive him for one more sin.

63.  What’s One More Broken Rule?

The alcohol had been a gift from the villagers and, after a particularly bad day, the ex-Elders need a bit of a pick-me-up. With lowered inhibitions, Connor McKinley really starts letting his feelings out.

64.  Cockblocked

Elders Price and McKinley have been hitting it off recently and all they want is a moment alone, but their 'prophet’ has other ideas.

65.  Rivers Run

Former Elder McKinley hadn’t know what to expect when he heard that Kevin Price had been in an accident.

66.  Cooking from the Soul

When it came time to pack his bag for Uganda, Kevin Price decided to bring with him the one thing from home that he knew would help him get through the next two years. But then the General stole it, and now that he’s been driven out of village, Kevin wants it back.

67.  Let Food Be Thy Medicine

Kevin and Connor head over to Kimbay’s house to learn about traditional Ugandan recipes.

68.  Kiss the Cook

Four times Connor failed in the kitchen, and one time he didn’t.

69.  So Close

“A drabble about a time McKinley wishes he was dead”

70.  Until We Both Fall Asleep

After date night, Kevin and Connor share a bed for the first time. It’s easier said than done.

71.  Something Magical

If someone had told Kevin Price before his mission that someday he’d make a list of Awesome Date Ideas because he wanted to ask out his district leader, he wouldn’t have believed them. The only problem was, he couldn’t think of any awesome date ideas. He couldn’t even think of any mediocre date ideas. Clearly, Disney was the answer.

72.  Not Today

Price had grabbed his arm just seconds ago, a strong grip at the elbow, and dragged him outside with no explanation. The other elders in the kitchen, making dinner and talking loudly with each other about market day tomorrow, had hardly spared them a glance. Now they were alone.

73.  Mission: Prom

“a drabble about McKinley dancing”

74.  I Went To Your Funeral

Written for a tumblr prompt: “I THOUGHT YOU’VE BEEN DEAD. FOR TEN YEARS. WHY ARE YOU ON MY FRONT DOORSTEP. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN. WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME CRY LIKE THIS I HATE THAT I LOVE YOU AND WHY DID YOU EVEN LEAVE IN THE FIRST PLACE.”

75.  Frogs

When life is at an all-time low for Kevin, he’s reunited with an old friend from his mission who acts as a perfect distraction.

76.     Gemstones

Elder Price has trouble ignoring Elder McKinley’s eyes.

77.  Let In Light, Banish Shade

They’ve sat through the worst of the summer but the heat is dry and intense and Connor can’t help but picture snow. The fresh, damp kiss of a new start on his skin. For a moment he could almost picture it, could almost feel snow instead of sweat in his hair. For most of them this is going to be their first Christmas away from home, it is certainly Connor’s first Christmas away from his family and as District Leader it is Connor who has a responsibility for the welfare of his Elders. He should be able to provide them this, to make their first Christmas in Africa something incredible, something special.

78.  A Fire Escape Symphony

And you, with your new born eyes, Have you ever loved a man like I love him? Do you hurt but still feel alive, like never before?

Connor has never had fire marshal training, the Missionary Training Center had focused on how to engage ill at ease people in conversations about religion, or about proper attire and social cues. They hadn’t taught what to do in the case of disaster. Perhaps, thinking back on their mission, they should have done.

79.  A Collection of Firsts

After breaking away from the Church, Kevin Price knew he would be experiencing a series of firsts in his life. He just never expected Elder McKinley to be involved in so many of them.

A brief look at the many firsts shared between Connor and Kevin in their rapidly evolving relationship.

80.  1 Year

"So you know how Naba is finally coming here later?"

"You have literally been talking about nothing else since we came back from Uganda last November."

"Anyway, I may have organised a teensy tiny party..."

One year after Kevin and Arnold's mission on Naba's arrival to America, Arnold organises a party- oh- and Kevin's having some difficulty with a crush.

81.  Planet Orlando

AU where your soulmate's name is printed somewhere on your body.

Kevin finds out Elder McKinley's first name.

82.  Easter in Uganda

The villagers and missionaries in Uganda participate in some fun Easter activities! Light, fluffy fun with no angst or smut

83.  Sweet Understanding

After Kevin's parents kick him out for being gay, he moves in with Connor McKinley.

84.  All The Time In The World

Of Disney movies, and ten o'clock curfew, and Connect Four, and plane sex, and a whole lot more.

85.  My name is-

Connor and Kevin share names, a sweet moment and a terrible secret before bed.

86.  Work in progress

“Hell’s not all fire and sulphur, you know. Sometimes Hell is being reminded every night of what you want so badly but you know that you can’t have. Torture isn’t just pain, it’s discomfort, disillusion, disassociation; it’s being shown happiness and having it ripped out from underneath you.”

Elder Price and Elder McKinley get some things off their chest after a few not-so-spooky Mormon Hell Dreams.

87.  Burst

He's got all his feelings locked away.

88. from salt to shore

“You know, I- When I went to Orlando, when I was a kid, y’know- When I went to Orlando, we road tripped there."

Or- the McPriceley road trip fanfic we all needed.

89. Roommate Wanted

Connor is kicked out of his home. Kevin needs a roommate. That's it. That's the summary.

Others

1.  Untitled

Mark 5:2-5

And when He was come out of the ship, immediately there met Him out of the tombs a man with an unclean spirit,

Who had his dwelling among the tombs; and no man could bind him, no, not with chains:

Because that he had been often bound with fetters and chains, and the chains had been plucked asunder by him, and the fetters broken in pieces: neither could any man tame him.

And always, night and day, he was in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying, and cutting himself with stones.

2.  12 Cups of Coffee

Arnold shows up at twelve cups of coffee; Elder McKinley came at six. 

3.  Just the Flu

4. Scream

5. Forget About the Other Boy (ChurchTarts)

Poptarts hears Kevin and Connor having sex and gets upset because he wants Connor. But he finds comfort and a little bit more in Elder Church.

6.  Not So Long Ago When I Was Five

Kevin’s bad attitude gets him turned into a little kid by the village shaman and the other Elders try to fix him

7.  Like One of Your French Boys  (ChurchTarts)

Chris volunteers to be the drawing model for James’ art project.

8.  Some Assembly Required (Churchtarts)

James and Chris buy a new bed from IKEA and attempt to build it without the instructions.

9.  Peep Show (Churchtarts)

Things are getting heated in the mission quarters, and Elder McKinley has set up webcams all around the house to find out who has been tinkering with the thermostat. Much to his, and soon-to-be-wed Cunningham and his best man’s surprise, it’s not just the thermostat that’s being tinkered with.

10  Threnody

Exodus 11:4,6

“And Moses said, Thus saith the LORD, About midnight will I go out into the midst of Egypt: And there shall be a great cry throughout all the land of Egypt, such as there was none like it, nor shall be like it any more.”

11.  The Answer

12.  The Lion and the Lamb

Sequel to Threnody. 

13.  Falling

14.  Thanksgiving

The holidays are the worst time to be lonely.

15.  Wine Free Wine (ChurchTarts)

PT and Church spend a quiet night in, that is until they are interrupted.

16.  Four States, One Journey (Though McPriceley at the end, more mentions of college life)

Life throws so many things at you that you don't expect. Rejection. Addiction. Doubt. Divorce. But maybe, with the right people in your life, it can still be greater than you ever imagined. Chronicles of the characters' lives post-Uganda.

17.  Plus Nine (Hinted McPriceley but not so obvious)

The plan was simple, he and Elder Cunningham would talk about their objectives at the airport, say goodbye to their families with a smile, a hug and a handshake and then they would board their flight. Perhaps pray together for their mission to be a success, read up on the documents the Missionary Training Center had given them about District Nine, and then the two of them would loosen their ties and put their seats back to rest. They could sleep on the plane and wake up fresh faced and ready to start the most important two years of their lives.

The plan had little reflection on reality.

Or; Elder Price has jetlag, canon... doesn't actually change at all.

18.  The Three Times Chris Thomas Tried to be Sexy, and the One Time He Was (ChurchTarts)

All Chris wanted to do was make sure James knew how much he loved him.

19.  The One Where They Sleep Together (ChurchTarts)

The first time Chris and James slept together, it was a little unexpected. 

20.  The Other Team (ChurchTarts)

High school was hard enough for Chris Thomas without an attractive football player trying to lure him out of the closet - for all the wrong reasons.

21.  Eyes on the Road (ChurchTarts)

Chris and James get pulled over after some less-than-safe driving antics. (Vague smut, nothing M-worthy.)

22.  Making a Date (ChurchTarts)

The reality of the distance between them finally starts to set in, and Chris and James just need to see each other again.

23.  Prom Night (ChurchTarts)

James wanted to make sure that prom would be special.

24.  Long Distance (ChurchTarts)

Chris thought he could handle a week away from James. 

25.  Show and Tell (ChurchTarts)

Christopher Thomas always gets what he wants.

26.  The Phone Call (ChurchTarts)

Letting his family know about his diagnosis was hard enough on Chris to begin with.

27.  No Turning Back  (ChurchTarts)

They were at that point in their relationship where they realized there was no turning back.

28.  One Day at a Time  (ChurchTarts)

It all started with a cough.

29.  Lovestruck  (ChurchTarts)

James Church and Chris Thomas thought they knew everything about each other.

30.  Heading Home (ChurchTarts)

With their mission reaching its end, Elder Church realizes he's got nowhere to go. Elder Thomas wants to give him the home he deserves.

31.  For The Both of Us

  It was the one day of the year Christopher Thomas was guaranteed to have a Hell dream.

32.  Letting it Out (ChurchTarts)

Elder Thomas thinks it's about time for Elder Church to let all his feelings out.

MORE TO COME (if there are more fanfictions for this fandom).

[vaspider]

okay but if someone doesn't experience homophobia or transphobia then they're not lgbt it's as simple as that.... the lgbt community doesn't exist for the purpose of being "inclusive" it literally is by nature exclusive to people who experience homophobia and/or transphobia

No, I’m sorry, that’s simply not true. I’ve written an awful lot about this, which you can find under my ‘ace exclusion’ tag. But since there’s a lot under there, let’s hit all the highlights. Frankly, it’ll be nice to have an omnibus post I can just pass to people from now on. 

This post is not an argument of your point, it is a reference post, because you are simply wrong.

This post is going to be very, very long, and very, very US-centric. It is important to state right up front that this discussion is extremely Western-centric. I do not have the right personally to speak on gender and sexual orientations from indigenous communities of which I am not a member, but it is absolutely important to acknowledge that the colonization of gender and sexual identity of non-Western peoples is a) wrong as fuck and b) we need to knock it off and c) none of the stuff I’m writing necessarily applies to non-Western peoples/indigenous peoples. 

1) This ‘formed to fight homophobia and transphobia’ definition of LGBT is literally and completely an invention of Tumblr. It started on Tumblr, it really only exists on Tumblr, and it only exists for the sole purpose of excluding minority sexualities and orientations (not limited to but currently focused on asexuality). It’s a very recent invention and this specific definition is less than eighteen months old. Probably less than a year old, but I’ll be honest: I don’t have the time or patience to go through the history on Tumblr and read all the hateful stuff that I’d have to in order to find the first use of that particular little piece of nonsense.

2) If that’s the case, then bisexuals (that big ol’ B in there) wouldn’t necessarily be part of the community, because bisexuals experience biphobia, which, no, is not the same as homophobia, is not homophobia lite, is not because they are ‘perceived to be’ homosexual and therefore homophobia. Your definition also casually and totally sweeps intra-community biphobia under the rug, which, good golly, part of the reason that bisexual people became part of the acronym is because lesbians literally kicked bisexual women out of the term lesbian in the seventies. And of course that’s pretty funny considering that the discourse before the ace discourse was the bihet discourse. All of this has happened before, etc. etc. 

3) The acronym has constantly been in flux since the rise of the modern community, so trying to claim there’s some sort of continuity that goes back to a singular point and it’s always been LGBT and it has never been anything but LGBT is just… wrong.  (see point 5 and all subpoints) It was ‘the gay community’ > ‘the gay and lesbian community’ > ‘GLB community’ > ‘LGBT community’ (as a specific attempt to decenter gay men and also adding a letter because trans people fought hard for inclusion and are still fighting hard for inclusion) > LGBTQ/LGBTQI/LGBT+/LGBTQIA/LGBTQIPA - all of these have been in use for a really long time. That last set? Some of them have been in use for a decade or more. Some of them are much more recent. And the LGBTQ community is not a monolith, though with the rise of the internet we have certainly become much more connected. Organizational and regional variations absolutely exist. 

3a) Here’s a non-Tumblr link from a 53-year-old bisexual writer who discusses her history with the terms the community uses, and who suggests ‘NSP’ for Non-Straight People. Two therapists in 2013 (including the director of Pink Therapy) suggested that GSD ‘or Gender and Sexual Diversities,’ should replace LGBT.

Officials on the group’s Facebook page echoed those sentiments. “The point we’re trying to make is not that our community shouldn’t be called LGBT, it’ that actually our community is SO much BIGGER than simply LGBT,” they noted.

3b) Before the sexual revolution of the 1960s, there wasn’t really any kind of non-derogatory widespread term for the community or even for the people themselves. Uranian was used in the 19th century to refer to gay men (and later lesbians), and the ‘third gender’ – which was used for gay and lesbian people as well as gender-non-conforming and trans people most commonly in the 1950s and 1960s in the US  – was used. The term stopped being used in the 1970s in the US as gender identity and sexual orientation writing and identification started to separate into different things. So, again, our community, and our people, haven’t been called the same thing even over the last 2 centuries, let alone since the start of human history.

4) To stress again, ‘LGBT’ as an acronym began widespread use in 1988. Before that it was gay community, GLB, Lesbian and Gay community, etc. What we have called ourselves and why has always been changing. Always. 

5) Circling back to your main assertion, let’s turn it into questions and ask each of the major LGBTQ orgs via their mission statements and actions: what is the point of the community? And does the point of that community include asexual people? And since when has it done so?

5a) Human Rights Campaign Mission Statement:

The Human Rights Campaign and the Human Rights Campaign Foundation together serve as America’s largest civil rights organization working to achieve LGBTQ equality. By inspiring and engaging individuals and communities, HRC strives to end discrimination against LGBTQ people and realize a world that achieves fundamental fairness and equality for all.

The Human Rights Campaign envisions a world where lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer people are ensured equality and embraced as full members of society at home, at work and in every community.

5a1) Isn’t this just a rephrasing of ‘fighting homophobia and transphobia’?

Nope. While it’s obvious that this is part of HRC’s mission, it repeatedly does not limit the discrimination that LGBTQ people face to ‘homophobia and transphobia.’ The mission statement very specifically talks about ‘working for LGBTQ equality’ and ‘end[ing] discrimination’ and ‘ensur[ing] equality and embrac[ing LGBTQ people] as full members of society.’ These sorts of things are read and debated and discussed, and this word choice was extremely purposeful. There were no accidents in this phrasing.

5a2) Are asexual people explicitly included? They don’t say it in the mission statement!

Yes. Asexual people are repeatedly and explicitly included.

In the HRC Equality Forward “At The Intersection” document from 2009, on p9, discussing a survey taken in 2008 to discuss the issue of race in what the document calls the LGBT community:

About half of the LGBT people of color in this survey identify as gay orlesbian (51 percent) and another 41 percent identify as bisexual. Theremaining 8 percent use a number of other terms to describe theirsexual orientation, including queer, intersexual, asexual, human and prefernot to use labels.

To be clear and to repeat, they didn’t kick people out of the survey if they identified as asexual. Asexual was included as a legitimate and LGBTQ orientation.

Also here, in a guest blog post written by Romeo Jackson, a self-identified QPOC: 

When I hear the national narrative on coming out, rarely do I hear the experiences of trans people, asexual people, or people of color represented. It seems these experiences are often over looked, and because of this, the coming out process as experienced by LGBT people of color is sometimes misrepresented and/or misunderstood.

Not only is it important for asexual people to be included, but it is important for asexual people’s coming-out stories to be included in our community discussions.

A couple more instances, for example this scholarship listing for UW-L Eagle Pride, and the HRC #AM_Equality Tip Sheet from May 2016 (listing of article educating people on asexuality).

5a3) Conclusion, subsection 5a: Human Rights Campaign’s mission statement does not define the community, their work or our struggle as ‘fighting homophobia and transphobia,’ but as a struggle to achieve equality for LGBTQ people in all communities, and they explicitly, repeatedly, over the course of at least seven years, well before the start of the ‘ace discourse on Tumblr, define ‘LGBTQ people’ and ‘LGBT people’ to include asexual people and asexuality. 

5b) The Trevor Project MIssion Statement:

The mission of The Trevor Project is to end suicide among gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning young people. The organization works to fulfill this mission through four strategies:

1. Provide crisis counseling to LGBTQ young people thinking of suicide.

2. Offer resources, supportive counseling and a sense of community to LGBTQ young people to reduce the risk that they become suicidal.

3. Educate young people and adults who interact with young people on LGTBQ-competent suicide prevention, risk detection and response.

4. Advocate for laws and policies that will reduce suicide among LGBTQ young people.

5b1) Another major org, and this one doesn’t even touch on fighting bigotry in any way (except potentially as fighting internalized bigotry in those who are suicidal) until their 4th point, and in that point, they clearly are advocating for laws and policies to protect LGBTQ young people. There’s no statement of ‘fighting homophobia and transphobia is what we do, it’s all we do, the end.’ Not even close.

5b2) Are asexual people explicitly included? They don’t say it in the mission statement!

Yes. Here’s their asexuality FAQ, and at the bottom of it they link to AVEN (I realize AVEN is a somewhat controversial organization but I view that as an intra-sub-community issue and not for me to speak on, AVEN is clearly a legitimate resource to The Trevor Project), Asexual Awareness Week, and their own Asexuality 101 PDF. A notable quote under ‘ace issues’ on page 2:

LGBT communities aren’tuniversally supportive ofasexuality.

5b3) Conclusion, subsection 5b: The Trevor Project explicitly includes resources for asexual youth, giving asexuality a header equal to every other subgroup on their Resources page. They acknowledge that LGBT communities are not universally supportive of asexuality, but they address it as an issue, that is, an issue that needs to be addressed, and one for which asexual youth require explicit support. 

5c) GLAAD does not have an explicitly listed Mission Statement on their site. This is their About page:

GLAAD rewrites the script for LGBTQ acceptance. As a dynamic media force, GLAAD tackles tough issues to shape the narrative and provoke dialogue that leads to cultural change. GLAAD protects all that has been accomplished and creates a world where everyone can live the life they love.

5c1) I hope at this point I don’t have to explain that this is not just a rephrasing of ‘fighting homophobia and transphobia,’ but an affirmative statement of working for acceptance and protection for the LGBTQ community as a whole. 

5c2) Are asexual people explicitly included?

Yes. February 1, 2015:

…it’s critical to boost acceptance of LGBT people, not just among non-LGBT folks, but also among members of our own community.

And that includes increasing acceptance of and being good allies to the Asexual, Agender, and Aromantic community.

Let us say without equivocation, the ‘A’ in LGBTQIA represents millions of Asexual, Agender, and Aromantic people, who are far too often left out of the conversation about acceptance.

(Note, this is over a year before GLADD added Q for ‘queer/questioning’ to their official acronym. The Q is a whole other kettle of fish, I provide it only for context of inclusion.)

July 24, 2015, re: a project on The Advocate called #21AceStories:

Cruz also previously curated #27Bistories, which similarly addressed misconceptions about bisexuality.

Cruz writes that the “erasure of asexual identities disenfranchises the asexual community from the LGBT community, perhaps more so than any other marginalized community.” It’s necessary to make asexual individuals feel like they have a place and a voice in the LGBT community – for their emotional wellbeing and physical safety.

October 29, 2014, re: Asexual Awareness Week:

GLAAD celebrates Asexual Awareness Week to amplify the voices of those who identify as asexual, aromantic, demisexual, and grey-asexual to be able to live the life they love.

This an explicit callback to the mission statement and an inclusion of asexual people in GLAAD’s ‘about’ and their mission.

February 12, 2016, in “The GLAAD Wrap”:

Every week, The GLAAD Wrap brings you LGBT-related entertainment news highlights, fresh stuff to watch out for, and fun diversions to help you kick off the weekend…. In the most recent issue, popular Archie Comics character Jughead came out as asexual. 

June 16, 2014, on Pride Flags:

To help clear any confusion and to refresh the memories of those who already know, Mashable has compiled a very useful list of iconic LGBT flags and symbols… 

 GLAAD put Mashable in touch with several LGBT leaders to talk about the symbols. Sarah Toce of The Seattle Lesbian and Sue Kerr of Pittsburgh Lesbian Correspondents explained the background of many of the LGBT symbols used within the community. GLAAD also worked with Geena Rocero, model and founder of Gender Proud, and BiNet USA’s Faith Cheltenham to provide commentary on the post, as well as GLAAD’s own National Spokesperson, Wilson Cruz…

The asexual pride flag has four stripes colored black, grey, white, and purple from top to bottom.

October 2016, Media Reference Guide, 10th Edition:

AsexualAn adjective used to describe people who donot experience sexual attraction (e.g., asexualperson). A person can also be aromantic,meaning they do not experience romanticattraction. (For more information, visitasexuality.org.) 

HeterosexualAn adjective used to describe peoplewhose enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attraction is to people of theopposite sex. Also straight.

Please note that the GLAAD reference guide lists Asexual and Heterosexual one right after the other, and lists them as two different orientations and two different experiences. ‘Straight’ is only listed after Heterosexual.

From an article discussing acronyms, queer, and the GLAAD Media Reference Guide with The Advocate, Kate Ellis, GLAAD’s president and CEO: 

“It is still, of course, particularly concerned with media, aiming to assure that both news and entertainment media represent us in a manner that is fair, inclusive, and accurate. It has been publishing the Media Guide for about 20 years, so updates have come about every two years, Ellis notes. Other changes in the 10th edition include expanded definitions of the terms asexual and intersex, based on conversations with those populations, she says.” [Emphasis mine]

Note the inclusion of asexual and intersex with ‘us.’

5c3) Conclusion, subsection 5c: GLAAD does not have as an extensive a documentable history of asexual inclusion as HRC, The National LGBTQ Task Force, or The Trevor Project. They do expressly, repeatedly, explicitly include asexual people - notably, the GLAAD-written sentence “It’s necessary to make asexual individuals feel like they have a place and a voice in the LGBT community – for their emotional wellbeing and physical safety.” as well as explicitly including discussion of an asexual comic book character in their LGBT media roundup and explicitly including the asexual flag in their own write-up of LGBT Pride Flags in preparation for Pride Month. They expressly amended their Media Guide (one of GLAAD’s main projects) to include asexuality and do not define aces as straight but as LGBTQ.

5d) National LGBTQ Task Force Mission Statement:

The National LGBTQ Task Force advances full freedom, justice and equality for LGBTQ people.

We’re building a future where everyone is free to be themselves in every aspect of their lives. Today, despite all the progress we’ve made to end discrimination, millions of LGBTQ people face barriers in every aspect of their lives: in housing, employment, healthcare, retirement, and basic human rights. These barriers must go. That’s why the Task Force is training and mobilizing millions of activists across our nation to deliver a world where you can be you.

…

Everyone in our community is able to be exactly who they are and able to lead the lives they’re entitled to live. We want you to “be you.” We’ve made a lot of progress in the past 40 years and we never take that progress for granted. The Task Force community wants more than equality – we want to create a transformed society.

It’s very important to pause here and clarify that the National LGBTQ Task Force was founded in 1973 and is the oldest national LGBTQ advocacy group in the United States. It’s also important to note that “In 2014 the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force changed its name to the National LGBTQ Task Force; it was founded in 1973 as the National Gay Task Force and added Lesbian in 1985.” Over and over again, we see the evolution of the acronym, the words we use, and who would be therefore included. Our identity as a community has never been static.

5d1) Isn’t this just a rephrasing of ‘fighting homophobia and transphobia’?

Not in the sense of it being an exclusionary, ‘this and only this’ statement. The history of the Task Force is absolutely focused on fighting homophobia, homophobic violence, transphobia, biphobia, and all forms of anti-LGBTQ violence and discrimination. They do not just seek to ‘fight all forms of LGBTQ-phobia,’ either, which is directly stated. They seek a transformed society in which there would be complete equality. 

5d2) Are asexual people explicitly included? They don’t say it in the mission statement!

Yes. 

April 30, 2013: The A Is Here To Stay

Now LGBT groups are having conversations about asexual issues. There have been workshops at the last two Creating Change conferences. The Task Force is joined by the Trevor Project and Campus Pride as the first LGBT organizations to include asexuality in their work.

April 2013: Wonky Wednesday, written by Jack Harrison, Policy Institute Manager

…I was very excited when Sarah Beth volunteered to write an Ace 101 post for the Task Force blog…

…there’s relatively little research by asexuals on asexuals, and what has been done is largely based around asking others their opinions of asexuals to determine the possibility of bias or psychological research attempting to establish possible reasons why people experience themselves as asexual. That means there’s almost no data based on methodologies of asking aces to articulate their own experiences.

I’ve been involved recently in a coalition of activists and academics, primarily from ace communities, trying to remedy this…

…the bulk of respondents [to a 2011 survey about asexuality] (76%) were between the ages of 16 and 25 years old, the implications of which are very interesting to someone like me who is very concerned about employment discrimination. This means that most ace-identified folks may not have entered the work force and thus, as advocates who believe that everyone has the right to be judged on the quality of their work rather than on their sexual or non-sexual identities, we need to be preparing for a rise in instances of discrimination in the coming years.

5d3) Conclusion, subsection 5d: The National LGBTQ Task Force evolved its position on its name in its 44 years of existence. They seek to create a truly equitable world and not only do they explicitly include asexuality in the LGBTQ community which they serve, but their Policy Institute Manager not only recognizes the need for more writing and work by asexuals about asexuals within the community, but considers the entry of a largely younger asexual community into the workforce to be an action item for which the Task Force should be prepared, in order to better handle instances of discrimination against the asexual members of the LGBTQ community.

5e) May 17th, the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia, A Worldwide Celebration of Gender and Sexual Diversities

Are Asexual people explicitly included?

Yes.

May 17 was first known as the “International Day against Homophobia” and mainstreamed through its acronym “I.DA.HO”In 2009, Transphobia was added explicitly in the title of the name, in the recognition of the very different issues at stake between sexual orientation and gender expression. “IDAHOT” became another popular acronym used alongside the initial one.Since 2015, biphobia is added to the title, to acknowledge the specific issues faced by bisexual people.

At the level of our Committee, we have kept the acronym ‘IDAHOT’, which we’ve been consolidating for years. We acknowledge this is an imperfect solution, but a necessity for communications consistency. We totally support other organisations who adapt the name of the day to their contexts and their priorities. In the UK for examples, the Day is increasingly known as IDAHOBiT*, in Latin America Lesbophobia is almost systematically included and placed first, etc.

To ensure even more inclusion and reflect the diversity of sexual and gender minorities, we have created at global level the baseline “A global celebration of sexual and gender diversities”. This is probably the only “solution” to the issue of inclusion and reflection of other diversities, such as Queer, Asexual, Pansexual and regional identities such as Hijras, Weres, Two-Spirit, etc. [emphasis mine]

The Day is not one central trademarked brand and everyone is free to communicate as they wish. This creates inconsistency but this is the cost to bear for large ownership.

No further comment is needed on this; the evolution of inclusion, and the explicit inclusion of asexual people, is already clearly delineated by the Committee’s own words. 

5f) The National Institutes of Health, in a study begun in 2009, included asexuality in an LGBT Health study. (Sadly this is behind a paywall, so I’m not going to go very far into it, just providing a link.)

5g) Before we go, here are a few links to college pride organizations which explicitly include ace people that I just happened to stumble across when I was looking for other links for this answer. I wasn’t even explicitly looking for them, I just found them. 

Conclusion: 

Our identity as a community has never been static. Since the rise of the modern US LGBTQ community in the 1960s and 1970s, our community has been consistently moving toward greater understanding of the massive complexity of sexuality and gender identity. What started as the Gay Community has gained so many letters and such great understanding of the incredible diversity of human gender and sexual experience that it has become necessary to use umbrella terms for ease of communication.

Unfortunately, sometimes those umbrella terms are taken as prescriptive, rather than inclusive, terms. Given the examples from every single major LGBTQ organization, the National Institutes of Health, and The Advocate (arguably the premiere or one of the premiere LGBTQ publications), asexuality is a part of the larger LGBTQ community, expressly accepted by every single major organization in the United States. 

Like transgender (including and/or alongside non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid and all other non-cis gender identities which may or may not consider themselves to be explicitly transgender or part of the trans community), pansexual, queer, and bisexual before (and in some cases alongside) it, asexuality is not a new identity - it is a relatively newly-understood identity. And just like all of those identities before and alongside it, acceptance both within and without the community has been and continues to be a struggle. 

Like bisexual and pansexual people especially, asexual people face accusations of being ‘outsiders,’ ‘secret straights,’ etc., who either face demands that they perform a certain amount of queerness to the satisfaction of others (with goalposts that constantly change), or are rejected outright. 

Like transgender, non-binary, genderqueer, genderfluid, etc. persons, asexual people face pushback from people who claim their identities aren’t real, don’t belong in the community - ‘what does a lack of sex have to do with being LGBTQ?’ ‘What does gender identity have to do with being gay, it’s a totally different thing, drop the T’ - and all other manner of exclusionary pushback.

Just as bisexuals faced much more pushback a quarter-century ago when I came out and started coming up in the LGBTQ community, but face greatly-diminished pushback now and a greater general acceptance that we are simply part of the community, and just as there was no word, no string of words that existed in the community vocabulary when I was a teenager for my gender identity, but there are now, asexuality, aromanticism, and all of the many other identities along the a-spec continuum, I have a great deal of faith that in the next few years, even Tumblr will move on from this particular division or discourse and move on to the next argument. I have every faith that given the fact that every major organization has explicitly included ace/aro folks, we will move on, and ace/aro folks will be a pretty-damn-completely-accepted ‘default’ part of the community, the same way that bi and trans people are accepted by all but a very small, non-representative portion of the community.

That’s already the truth outside of Tumblr. I simply hope that we can move on from this already, even on Tumblr, because the LGBTQ community in the United States is in for a really bumpy ride over the next 4+ years. 

There are a lot of battles we need to fight. They shouldn’t be against each other, and yes, ace people are part of ‘us.’ That argument is over. . Let’s move on to protecting the LGBTQ community from whatever 45 and his vizier are planning to inflict on us.

I hope you’ll stop wasting your energy and the energy of others on pointless infighting over an argument that’s over. We have a lot of work to do. We’re going to need all our energy. 

[toomanyskeletons]

long post i am so fuckin sorry lmao

alright mdude so like. i guess i'll talk about the plot of My Thing or whatever so as you may or may not know the current universe timeline i'm in rn is called the spectraverse 3b oH i actually thought of something i kinda want to talk about now i actually have no fuckin clue where the plot was before the 3- oh fuck wait i'll get to that so, HONESTLY, the whole third universe was started when i started reading this demonstuck fanfiction? it was Good Shit and i was Inspired by these two fanfictions which i can barely remember the names of (but i know the tumblr url of one fanfic's author. i am NOT going to tag them that is too embarassing and i dont want to seem like a loser fanboy) so like, universe 3 has got this whole demons and angel thing going on in 3a it was a sort of demons vs angels vs hunters thing with some awkward reluctant friendships going on OH i should also add that after the universe was created i started watching supernatural so some parts of it were inspired by that but ngl it was like formed of 90% homestuck fanfic ideas anyway in this one it was about this angel guy who sold his soul to get rid of his dysphoria. basically it's wish fulfilment? like. i wish /i/ could sell my soul and get a dick one of the reasons this universe ended/i stopped it was because i couldnt fucking project my dysphoria onto the MC and like. sometimes i NEED to do that so i at least have SOMEONE to relate to anyway. this guy sells his soul, gets a dick, and then lucifer becomes his legal guardian. so like. in this universe lucifer is just this really chill genderfluid person (fuck you it's my writing) and has been living in the human world for a pretty fuckin long time. on the other hand the mc (his name's taylor) has not and he is Confused As Hell About Many Things. and also he's like 15 at this stage so lucifer's like. "fuck it. you're MY son now" and then that's a thing for like. another seven or so years until taylor gets a boyfriend and moves out that whole part there is actually told in backstory, tho. the main part of the story starts when taylor's not-yet-boyfriend is moping in a pub and some demons are planning to kill him? so taylor, being the nice friendly loser he is, even though he's a demon (did i mention that?) drags mystic out of the place. and then taylor makes him go home. and then the REAL ACTUAL PLOT starts about a week later when taylor has a run-in with some asshole hunters and gets his magic all fucked up with some spell thing the hunters use called 'seals' which are never even mentioned again in the story god damn it. anyway he's like. sitting slightly out of the way when mystic sees him and after some snarky discussion, mystic, despite being a hunter (did i mention that?), takes him home and helps him out. and then their whole relationship starts off with 'repaying' the other which is basically just a bunch of excuses to keep seeing the other, it's p gay. and also? at this stage taylor hasn't even realised he's gay yet bc he hasnt even fuckin thought about it and then he has a whole fuckin identity crisis and then discovers he IS gay and then he has a few more awkward interactions with mystic and then mystic tells taylor he's bi when they are having a Late Night Bro Hangout at like 2am in the morning and it's got all weird and personal and then they go on an awkward date, and they go on more awkward dates until the dates STOP being awkward and they get confortable with each other then taylor quits his job at the convenience store and helps mystic to hunt demons, because actually taylor is pretty in with the Hell Crowd and he also hunts demons for a living except he doesnt get paid, and also he only hunts the demons which kill humans - killing humans is a Very Bad Thing and it is Illegal in hell now so and then taylor has a run in with some archangels who are looking for lucifer - long story short the archangels are a group of 7 (well actually 8 its a long story) angels who are all pretty weird to the outside world (five of them are mentally ill, two of them are developmentally disabled, there's one guy who is physically disabled as well as having ptsd and adhd and the last guy has basically isolated himself from the other archangels and the rest of society for about 500 years) ANYWAY these archangels are advocates for heaven basically and they want to talk to lucifer because sOMEONE has just stolen the world's most powerful magic book which i will get to in a second. anyway in the process of this taylor gets shot like 3 times and then he is on a case with mystic who is now his boyfriend of like 2 years (time is fake and i dont know how it works) and he hears a song which has mildly creepy lyrics and also the guy who he hears singing sounds familiar. this will be relevant later. MEANWHILE there's this chick called Amelia who is trying to kill lucifer/close the gates of hell forever/blow up the world. so she steals this book called the blair's codex which i may have spoken about before, and also i mentioned a few paragraphs previously. so this book is the most magically powerful book IN EXISTENCE created by the RIGHT HAND PERSON OF GOD THEMSELF. except this person is like. the world's biggest asshole and makes these really weird, strangely specific spells. so to cast this spell, amelia needs to have 5.45 pounds of catnip and a birchwood staff with a lapis lazuli orb blessed in the northernmost point of afarity, which is a place. anyway amelia gets lazy and cant find 5.45 pound of catnip, settles for 5 pounds and a birch staff with a lapiz orb NOT blessed in the northermost part of afarity. anyway she casts the spell sometime and taylor and lucifer are trying to stop hwr and none of it works. nothing works as its supposed to, she doesnt kill lucifer but also they dont stop her. instead she destroys a small part of reality and then they all get sent to purgatory. i'll just skip over that but she has the blair's codex and also taylor and lucifer are there and they end up becoming best friends and then they get out of purgatory ....and that's the first book there's a whole section here which i'm gonna skip because of ~indirect spoilers for my latest book~ which i have to be careful or i will just Give Everything Away for my beta readers so after that taylor and mystic are reunited and they become hunters again and then ONE DAY taylor is LISTENING TO THE RADIO and DISCOVERS that THE GUY HE HEARD SINGING A WEIRD CREEPY SONG IS AN ANGEL. and then he goes to confront the guy and discovers it's his childhood best friend who is called ryan and also he is amelia's half brother. also their dad is an archangel. and BASICALLY that is where i stopped writing 3A and started on 3B with a bunch of shitty short bits in between. so this is getting long af and i should PROBABLY take a break and i know there are things i havent addressed but i might sometime anyway i WILL do another infodump later, here are some possible subjects that you can request: -the plot of universe 3b -the archangels -the archangels in universe 3b -blair's codex -the First Generation, eight gods created by the One God of the universe who is called Spectra, giving the universe its name -Spectra and Blair -other minor characters anyway this was super fun thank you at @bailheart for asking for this and for anyone else i apologise

[louisdreyfus]

this is a post to talk about depression, freedom, sexuality and how 2016 seemed endless

hey there again, my uni finally finished the semester after seven fucking months (yeah i know. strikes are awful) and here i am with time again to procrastinate and be on tumblr. hm, during these endless months of suffering, high pressure and lots and lots of weird things happening, i ended up finding out a lot about myself and thought i’d share here. i’ve been on tumblr since i was 14 (fuck!) so this website is like an old friend in many ways, even if i’m not a regular poster anymore.

as i posted earlier this year, i accepted the fact that i do have depression. i had a big crisis last year that culminated in me abandoning a important class and losing a semester of uni, which means i’ll have to stay for another 5 years instead of 4.5 til i become a doctor. i don’t regret abandoning biochem; it was impossible for me to keep doing the absurd hours i was doing (40 hours of class shouldn’t be acceptable at no places) so i left, and i’m coming back next month to nail it right this time. i also started going on therapy, something i was reluctant to seek even though i knew it would help me. my mental health problems ended up propeling me to do some research and starting some projects and i see myself now (and so does some superiors of mine) as a type of spokesperson on the subject.

at the beginning of this year i went full-on rebel and started to do stuff i’ve always wanted to but held back. i’ve got two piercings (and a third on the way). i’ve moved out of my toxic home to live with my best friend. i’ve started to disconnect with my family for good. i went to the parties i was feeling like it. i even took my shirt off at a party at some point, and all of this felt very liberating to me. after years and years of hiding myself i finally let go and started to be the unapologetic person i’ve always wanted to be. a friend of mine who’s very observant told me that it was beautiful to see how comfortable i was getting under my own skin, and i agree. this semester was so very important to me because i was assertive on things i wanted or the first time. which brings me to my last topic.

im out of the closet, i guess. i mean, i don’t know how to label myself, but i ain’t straight. no, sir. i kissed a girl. i enjoyed kissing that girl. we’ve been kinda sorta going out for the past 6 weeks, even though it’s not serious and it will probably not lead to anything of that matter. ive always joked about how gay this or that would make me but the truth is: yep. im at least bi. i like girls. a lot. and as much as this makes me fear the future and my very homophobic mother, its really something i’ve been secretly thinking and not saying it for a long time. it was a realization i’ve had during this semester and i feel relieved to finally let go of my fears and just go with it. 

for those of you who are wondering why i’m still talking about 2016 in fucking APRIL, i’ll explain: my uni works in a system where we divide the graduation by semesters. due to strikes and paralisations, our calendar is messed up, so our second semester of 2016 only ended this week. the semester had 7 months, but it felt like an entire live. i went through so much and i feel so wounded by this hellish year. and as my break starts im just so fucking relieved with everything. 2016 is FINALLY over. goddamn.

bring it on, 2017.