#seriously why are southerners so dumb i do not get it

[swagging-back-to]

american intelligence;

voting abortion back on while also voting for trump; as if he wasn't the one who repealed roe v wade in the first place.

[nomaishuttle]

anxiety will have you convinced of the dumbest shit ever and yr like thats so fucking stupid <- gets scared anyway

[jazeswhbhaven]

Man Hell standards must be super low if this idiot of an MC can charm all of them without any charisma whatsoever outside of: "They're disgustedly obscene." I mean send us all the hell if that's how low the expectations are, goddang

Like sorry, Foras' confession was SUPER sweet but it falls short because I don't believe in love at first sight, but of all of the humans to fall in love with? This MC? Really? hell even Obey me!MC used their contract to make Mammon sit when he was being sassy with them, and then drag him along to help them when he refused. I'm talking about early OG game Mammon too, pact was made and they put it to use.

Awh not my babies, but Solomon did call everyone little dum dums in the beginning when he spoke to MC sooooo idk ;w; I'm too biased to call them dumb in the attraction department, for me it's like they can't help it.

I do find it odd sometimes that's there's pretty much an instant form of attraction to MC for nearly everyone. I think the exceptions main story wise outside of the chats/unholy boards are Leviathan, pretty much hated MC and didn't trust them. Glas had to get used to them first, but Barb and Foras seemed to be on that love train immediately. The Gehenna bois aside from Astaroth because they haven't met yet were already smitten with MC. Bimet ofc did not like MC because they didn't own Mammon just yet, he only likes people who have wealth. Valefor the sweetie was very much wanting to be close to MC. NOW when it comes to the side stories in the Unholy Board, Beel was teasing MC mostly and wasn't feeling it at first until MC pretty much demanded they be taken seriously which is cute to Beel (selfie story), Belphegor kinda likes MC, he just wanted to see what was up and why everyone was trying to get them. I think MC has to work for his attention, Beleth is a hopeless romantic I believe, a proper southern gentleman so we already know he would be down.

But I digress. This is getting long lmao

When it comes to pacts, so far I think MC only has one with Satan, Leviathan, and Foras wants to have one too. I'm not quite sure what it does, but it seems to limit their powers substantially which isn't doing much for this war they're having with the angels. I don't particularly compare WHB with OM only because the stories are vastly different even in theme, but I feel SheepMC especially in the comics is very outspoken and very much "wtf pls don't do that" when having a firm hand. I like that. (but I also dislike when everyone is mean to OM Mammon for no reason too)

[blingblong55]

gaaahh I love your platonic TF141 x reader!! I was wonder if we could get some more, but for a Gn!Reader?

for context I find it hard to swap pronouns when reading, but if not that's fine lol!

and if you want, have some writing prompts!

-Southern!Reader gets drunk, acting like a fool, they're accent the strongest it's ever been, and TF141 is just "wtf are they even saying?"

-general shenanigans with Gaz and Reader, pranking ghost >:]

-SNOW DAY! the boys have the day off, and it ends up with a snowball fight, soap, ghost, and reader VS. gaz, price, and könig (yes I added him I am a simp for this man)

-Reader gets hit on in public, and 141 acts like big brothers + father and beat the crap outa whoever was unfortunate enough to pick on Reader

-DAD PRICE. just. him teaching Reader things, giving pointers, and being protective off-field

anyways sorry for the long ask! hope your doing well :]

Sweet Creature -141+König

ofc! I always try to make my readers comfortable when reading so never shy away for asking this!

This is a collection of moments your boys have been through with you...(there is mentions of an American reader, but if you please it can only apply to the first one.)

GN! Reader, Plantonic! Relationship

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

(I had to look up southern sayings so if this part doesn't make sense I apologize. (feeling too brit today..sorry))

After a much needed out in the town 141 had been deployed to, r/n decided it would be great to compete against Soap in a drinking game. Drink after drink, your once good basic American accent left your lips and was soon replaced with your souther accent. Price at first found it funny, until he couldn't tell exactly what you were trying to say.

Gaz: that was until I dropped it all

R/n to Ghost: That's 'bout as useful as tits on a bull, wouldn't ya'say?

Price: *chuckles* what does that even mean kid?

R/n: o' bless ya heart sir (apparently it means idiot,,,so don't come for me) y'dumber than a mule

*a woman passes by their table and Gaz starts checking her out*

R/n: look at him price, he's grinnin' like a possum eatin' a sweet tater

Price: seriously what does that mean?

Ghost: think they mean he looks like a dumb arse

Gaz stands up to try and talk to that woman

R/n: soap tell em somethin'

Soap: go get her tiger

R/n: No, no,,,you hold your horses now...she ain't even turn to ya and yo're hotter than hell al'ready?

Price: right...let's get you home r/n

R/n: I can take 'nother one....

Ghost: not today *he picks you up and off to base you go*

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

After an uneventful evening Gaz and r/n decided to annoy Ghost, a ritual Price had gotten used to, after Ghost came in to complain every week. Price would always discard them because he loved having his children smile and be young and happy.

There was one time where you placed syrup on his tea. Another time, you kept calling his phone, pretending to be some religious group, this went on for 3 months. One time you made him believe the whole base left him, you stole his phone and clothes, best believe you never saw the devil until that day.

2 weeks ago, Ghost was tricked into eating some expired MRE, that man got sick so easily, Gaz was tricked into taking the blame. Meanwhile you enjoyed some banana with soap as Ghost chased Gaz for 30 minutes, until you tripped Gaz and ran to price.

R/n: dumb bitch!*you ran so fast, soap swore it was you being chased*

----

This happened at 2 am, Ghost's room.

You and gaz know how much ghost hates dirty bed sheets. So you did this:

Gaz: r/n pass me the chocolate

R/n: why are we doing this again?

Gaz: its fun

R/n: how will this even work?

Gaz: it'll melt under his body and make it look like he shat himself

R/n: this is so cool

Gaz: shh

you two walked into Ghost's room, he was dead asleep, when he shifted to his left side, Gaz placed the chocolate near his bum, you two successfully ran out and waited outside all morning.

Ghost opens his door, anger flowing through him

Ghost: where are these little twats

That's when you and Gaz ran away to Price's office, he eventually caught up and complained to Price. (I'm picturing that office scene when Dwight and Jim are complaining to Micheal. Yes, the American one. )

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

This time the team was deployed to Switzerland, for everyone it all felt like home, spring and summer was quite lovely, that's until Price was told this deployment would be longer that expected. Winter rolled in, everyone was prepared for a harsh winter, except you, who had never experienced snow. You had told soap how every year when you're away from home, snow has hit hard, and that you had never seen snow in real life.

This had become a perfect opportunity for him to show you how much you meant for the team. So once he had told price about the sad story of yours, they planned an entire day out.

Soap: c'mon r/n its time for your surprise.

He bought you gloves and a scarf,( he knows how easily it is to get cold.) Once outside, you ran around screaming in delight. "This is awesome!" you said as you tackled soap onto the snow.

Gaz was the one who started the snowball fight. Price took his side. Ghost and soap took yours. Poor König was stuck in the middle, deciding who to join, until price dragged him to his side and that's when the fight seriously started.

(Picture that SpongeBob snowball fight)

Soap tripped multiple times, your face was covered in snow because you couldn't stop laughing at him. Ghost did most of the dirty work, he seriously took this serious.

He pulled you both down, "right, so while I get price, r/n you get König, he'll feel bad for throwing things at a midget and quit, gaz will soon give up, so soap he is all yours.

"That was mean man" you said but all he did was push you to the floor, where you got stuck for 2 minutes. He eventually helped you up and continued the fight.

Even though he was a trained soldier, König never threw anything at any of you, he was too afraid of getting anybody injured. Best believe this man walked out and waited until things became friendly. He eventually built a snowman. The same one soap ran through. "awh, my snow friend" he sadly spoke. (please imagine this with his cute little Austrian accent and his giant figure just looking down and picking up the sticks and hat from his snowman..)

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

This time around you encouraged the team to go out once more. It was September in some other country. After years of working with your boys you never expected them to be your guard dogs. You went up to the bar to order your drinks, until two people walked up behind you and sat at the stools beside you. (I'll let ya decided on the gender ;) )

"What is a cute thing like you doing around this place" one spoke, while the other got too close for comfort.

" Look whatever it is..I'm not interested" you answered,

The guys know you're able to fend for yourself, after all they've seen you kill men with your bare hands, but you had become their little sibling. They all swore to protect you no matter how big or small your problems were.

"You're just here by yourself love?" the other said, while reaching for you.

Price tapped that persons shoulder, "leave them alone," as price spoke to them, soap took you and brought you to the other side. "You stay here, understood?" he cupped your face in his hand.

All you did was nod. "good" he walked away and the four men took them out the back. "you don't touch them ever, or else I swear you'll go back home in a bag" Ghost towered over them,

"this is nonsense, they aren't even good looking!" one said.

(this is very...manners maketh man...vibes )

Price swung and hit ones jaw, "you fuck!" they said holding onto their face. "run you pricks" gaz threatened. "Soap hand me your gun"Price never took his eyes off of them. Ghost took out on of his pocket knives, he caressed it and looked at them. Gaz did too, man would he defend you.

But before soap handed his gun to his captain they had ran out.

Once inside, you sat there. Starring at them with those kind eyes of yours. They immediately went soft. "Got your favorite drink, kid?"

"yes, can I asked what happened out there?"

"nope...after this we can get some McDonalds, that's if you never ask about this again" man was he good at deals you thought.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

(For this one I'll put you as a 23yr old, who specializes in hand to hand combat, and demolitions, as well as a training sniper, mainly bc i feel you need a little background.)

Price never understood how his colleagues could afford love for their kids. He didn't get how one little human would change their ways of being. That's until you arrived at base. Fresh off boot camp.

The day he met you, he understood why his friends back home retired after having kids. It went from him sparring with you, just to test your limits to making sure you were getting sleep, (this man for sure tucked you in)

"Sir, you're telling me that if I boil that liquid it will actually turn into a quality beverage?"

"How do I change my tire?"

"wait..how do I check for my oil?"

"price? are you sure I can go home? I don't want to be alone."

" can you please kill it? I'm scared man."

After teaching you from the most basic things in life a father should teach to what a military dad would teach, he grew fond of you.

Around December he found you roaming base, all alone. The rest of the team (except him ofc) was sent back home, to spend time with family and friends. Once you explain how you had no family to go back home to, he made you pack your bags and head to his. Funny enough, Ghost was already heading to his, it had become a thing between them.

He told you about his wife, how she wasn't able to conceive and how excited she was to met you. Later that week, she called you her child. You and Ghost had found a forever home with him. "These are my children." she proudly said to anyone who asked about the two socially awkward people standing next to her.

A week before Christmas, he took you and ghost hunting, that day he let you have a puff off of his cigar. "be careful now, don't inhale too much." he pointed at you, like he was talking to a child.

After the holiday, you were allowed to call him dad, pops when you were at his place.

Out at bars, he would keep you close. And when someone would clearly flirt with you, it was in him to remind you "no person will ever be good enough for you, understand kid?"

He even cracked dad jokes with Ghost and you. He made sure to update his family portrait from him and his wife to one of the four of you.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Tags: @thatonesimpyknow

a/n: I know It really long..but I hope you did enjoy it!

REQUEST ARE OPEN!!

[sokkastyles]

Speaking of poor takes on Zuko...

What do you think?

Well, first of all this isn't so much of a hot take as it is straight up abuse apologism. It's not new, or cute, or smart or unique. It's abuse apologism. If you really feel "disgusted" by seeing an abuse victim empowered because you believe the lies their abuser said about them, then you are an abuse apologist.

Second, if you really feel disgusted at Zuko being a powerful bender and being firelord, maybe you shouldn't be watching the show.

Third, I've addressed this before, but it's funny that Zuko is the "salty" one when this entire post is the saltiest rant from someone who is mad that the show ended with a heroic character becoming powerful and a villainous character getting their comeuppance. Surprise, I guess?

Like, seriously, does this person know how fiction works? This post reads like it was written by a cartoon villain, and not the genre savvy kind of villain, the kind that is too dumb and/or too evil to realize why they caused their own downfall.

I am so tired of this. "But power is all she has!" Power is all Azula has because that is all she cared about, and she doesn't have that in the end because that is what happens when you forego actual values in pursuit of power, and when you abuse the power you have

Azula was born with power that she didn't deserve, a natural talent which caused her father to single her out so he could boost her ego and encourage her to be selfish and cruel and obsessed with controlling other people so that she could gain more power. But this is also what caused her to have a poor relationship with her brother, who she mistreated for being perceived as less powerful. It's what caused her to have a poor relationship with her mother, whose lessons she ignored because Ursa had no power, especially compared to her father. It's what caused her to have a poor relationship with her uncle, who she disdained for being a "quitter" and a "loser." It's what caused her to have a poor relationship with her friends, because she had to have power over them, had to control them with fear rather than having a real relationship where she's equal and vulnerable. Her need for power literally destroyed her entire life, and because of that, she ended up losing the power she had, to boot, because people who use their power to harm others do not deserve to have power.

That's the entire point. I can't even believe that someone would actually type that paragraph and think it was a good idea because if you said it to someone in person, you should probably expect to get smacked in the face.

Zuko gets to be powerful in the end because he dedicates his life to using that power to help people. If that disgusts you, then you deserve that smack in the face. I don't know how to explain to you that you should care about other people.

I also don't want to hear about how Zuko only redeemed himself because of "luck" or because he had help, because Azula didn't want any help changing and never made any steps to make any of those things happen. She didn't care about her mother trying to teach her right from wrong (until it was too late and she realized that she had becomes someone she didn't like, but too little too late). She didn't try to stop hunting the gaang. She didn't try to stop waging war on the rest of the world. She didn't try to listen to see her friends as real human beings instead of chess pieces she could control. Ditto with her brother. The reason she's alone and freefalling in "The Southern Raiders" is because she went there with the purpose of killing her brother and the gaang after her friends abandoned her because she tried to kill them, too. That's why she's alone. That's the purpose of that visual juxtaposed with Zuko having the gaang to help him and rescue him, because he also cared about them and tried to fight off his sister to save them.

And you know what? Zuko almost feels sorry for her, because she is alone. Because it is sad. It's a tragedy. But it's a tragedy of her own making, and when she looks back at Zuko, does she express any regret for her situation? For what she did to him? For how she hunted him down and also almost killed his new friends because he had the gall to leave his abuser?

No. Instead, she looks like this:

The whole POINT of that scene is that it is a tragedy, but that Azula already made her choices long ago, and that's why she ultimately can't change her fate. She doesn't want to, she doesn't even realize she needs to. At this point, she's not even sad about her situation because she still thinks she's on top, she still thinks she's better than literally everyone around her, still grasping at that power that she thinks will fulfill her, without any understanding at all of the responsibility that comes with power, and that's also why she ultimately does not deserve it, either.

[gingerale2017]

A Moment for Jealousy

Fluff Words: 2k Pairing: Cinder Linh x Kai Fandom: The Lunar Chronicles Setting: Dating AU post-college Warnings: None that I know of Ao3 Link

“Stars, you’re kidding right?” Seventeen-year-old Cinder asked her then-boyfriend at the time.

He smiled like a moron and giggled. “Darlin’ I know what I’m doin’. Have some trust, will ya’?”

Cinder sighed, though he was an idiot, she adored when he faked a deep southern drawl. At least she did before he annoyed her to death.

Naive, dumb, desperate teenager Cinder.

Blue eyes sparkling up at her, he turned on the bike and sped away without adjusting his helmet all the way first.

“Wait! Your helmet!” She cried but he was too far gone.

By the time he came back, she was waiting for him with a grumpy expression on her face.

“What’s with the frown?” He asked, innocently raising an eyebrow.

She scowled. “That was dangerous. Don’t do that again.”

He smiled, ignoring her. “That was glorious, thanks for fixing up the bike for me, hey.”

“Thorne, I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” He laughed. Then he tried to kiss her. She dodged his mouth and backed away.

“What’s with the attitude, babe?”

“Don’t call me that!” She whipped around and walked away.

He grabbed her hand and turned her back around. “Seriously, what’d I do now?”

“What do you mean ‘what I do now?’”

“I mean, you’re always mad at me for something-”

“I told you why I’m mad at you, and you don’t listen to me!” She cried. Stars above, she wanted to slap this guy.

“Yeah, and it’s stupid!-“ She actually slapped him. “Hey! What the hell?!” He spat out.

“I’m done, Thorne. I hate this relationship and I hate you-��

“WHY?! WHAT’D I DO?!”

“Don’t cut me off.” Cinder lifted a gloved finger and glared at him into silence. He felt her quiet threat and quieted down. “You never listen to me and you always do what you want. I’m done trying to mother you around all the time.”

He stared at her for a moment. Then he said the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard in an argument before. “Aw, come on. Y’know I got mommy issues.”

She yelled curses at him and broke up with him. Then she walked away without turning back.

“You’re kidding, he actually said that?” Kai said, giddy like a mother gossiping on Facebook.

Twenty-seven-year-old Cinder nodded. “Yup.”

“Come on! At least it was funny!” Thorne said, scrambling for a defense.

Kai began to choke with laughter. “You are SO embarrassing, dude!”

Thorne scowled. “You’re not much better.”

Kai cocked his head as if he sensed a challenge. “I’m a better boyfriend, though.”

“Okay, let’s not go there.” Iko crawled towards the middle of their circle where they sat on the floor. Iko sensed some sort of animosity going on, one that Cinder definitely missed.

“Go where?” Asked Thorne innocently.

“Jealousy wars.” Iko said without explaining.

Kai scrunched his eyebrows. “What jealousy? No one’s jealous, I mean, how could I?”

Iko side-glanced at Cinder who was playing with the rug. Oh, why couldn’t this girl comfort her own boyfriend before his mind spiraled with jealousy? He only found out about Cinder and Thorne tonight because Cinder never thinks of it as important. Telling your partner that you dated your current best friend that you still hang out with often is pretty important. At least to Iko, it was. And she had the sense it was pretty important to Kai too.

“I’m hungry! Scarlet!!! Hurry!!!” Iko whined.

“What am I, your personal chef? Give me a second.” Scarlet yelled back.

Iko sniffed at the insult. “Sorry!” She cried. Kai and Thorne laughed about some separate joke. Good, it didn’t seem to affect them that much.

Yet, throughout the whole night, Iko couldn’t help but notice how Kai would watch Cinder talk with Thorne, and when during those interactions he would get close to Cinder and just stand there. How he made a face when Cinder sat next to Thorne at dinner. How he offered to help Cinder with every action she made. How he kept interrupting Thorne when he talked to her. Thank the stars Cress wasn't here. Who knows how that tiny overthinker would rack her brain?

When it was time to leave, Cinder and Kai were the first to leave. She hugged everyone goodbye, including Thorne. To everyone else, including the ones hugging, it looked like a normal embrace. To Kai, it felt as if Thorne’s hands were a little too low on her back. He completely forgot Thorne had Cress, whom he absolutely adored, waiting back home.

The drive to Kai’s apartment was spent in comfortable silence, at least to Cinder. Kai’s mind kept working itself, saying not to worry, nothing was going on! That was ten years ago. It was also saying that if they had feelings for each other once, they could have it again.

Oh, but they did have feelings for each other. Feelings of familial love. But Kai refused to acknowledge that. Poor guy was always self-sabotaging himself.

What did she even see in that douchebag anyways? She kept commenting on his blue eyes and his recklessness. Kai had brown eyes and was quite precautious. They were so different.

“Hey, darling?” He murmured while they were stopped at a light. She looked at him.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“Nothing, I just never thought you and Thorne never would’ve dated. You guys are basically like siblings.”

She cringed. “We are. That’s what makes that whole situation horrible. One of my biggest regrets.”

“I know. But how did you even… I don’t know how to phrase this.” The light turned green.

“Fall for him?” She groaned. “Aces, I don’t even know. I think I never did actually, and I misread my feelings for him. They were supposed to be platonic, that’s why romance didn’t, and never will, work out for us.”

She smiled at him, but he continued to worry his lip. “What’s wrong?” She asked.

“Nothing.” He said said non-reassuringly. They pulled into the apartment complex parking lot.

“You sure?” She hesitated before continuing as he parked. “You aren’t jealous, are you?”

“NO!” He jumped, slamming the brakes. She yelped as her body flew forward. He set the gears in park and apologized.

Cinder laughed at the revelation, even when he opened the door for her, and stared with discontent. “Kai, I can’t believe it!” She snorted. “You’re jealous of Thorne!”

“I’m not!” He yelped, helping her out of the car. “Never say that again.” Him? Kai Prince? Jealous? Unlikely. Jealous of Carswell Thorne? Highly unlikely.

She kept teasing him until they reached his unit. As they walked in, Kai kept trying to think of ways to convince her he wasn’t jealous when she calmed down.

“There’s nothing to be jealous of, Kai.” She murmured, getting close to him.

He gulped as she smiled. She was so pretty, it almost hurt him. Kai didn’t even think twice when he pressed her against the door and kissed her.

Cinder made a surprised sound that he muffled with his mouth before getting lost in the kiss. He moved his hands up and down her body with the pace of their movements. When they sped up, he squeezed her waist and kissed her deeper, enough to manufacture another sound out of her. He couldn’t help his smile, effectively breaking their kiss. She smiled back up at him.

An idea sprouted in the corner of his mind that he subconsciously chose to act on. Once they caught their breath, he moved to the length of her neck. Kai did this often, and Cinder noted it as one of his favorite ‘moves’. She wasn’t wrong.

This time, though, as pressed himself against her he murmured: “I bet he didn’t kiss you like this, right?”

The vibrations of his voice were deep enough to send shivers down her body. “No one ever has, Kai.” Cinder was barely able to whisper back. Her hand slid up to the base of his neck where she absent-mindedly pulled on the baby strands there.

He chuckled against her skin, she held on to him tighter. “I hope no one ever does. Besides me, of course.” He said breathlessly, too preoccupied with pleasing her.

He began to kiss her again but Cinder froze. She couldn’t tell what about his phrasing threw her off, but some part of it did. It knocked right out of that ‘kissing headspace’ or zone, whatever you call the haze you’re in while making out.

He didn’t get the hint and continued to kiss her neck, wrapped in his desire.

“Kai?” She started. He didn’t budge. “Kai, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.”

He froze, immediately pulling away. “What happened?” He panicked as his brow furrowed as he continued to hold her near to him.

“Nothing!” She scrambled, noticing the hurt look on his face. “Just give me a second.”

“What’d I do?” He asked, practically begging her for an answer with his eyes.

Cinder blinked. Virtually nothing about their relationship reminded her of the disaster that was her and Thorne, but his little ‘What’d I do?’ was oddly similar to Thorne and their breakup day.

Except when Thorne said it, he was accusatory and angry. Kai looked like a kicked puppy.

She smiled, trying to reassure him by rubbing his cheek with her thumb. “I know you feel about me, and that you love-”

“Endlessly, I love you eternally, darling.” He butt in.

She gave him a knowing glance that told him to let her finish. “You love me endlessly, got it. And I love kissing you, don’t get me wrong. You’re a very good kisser.”

Kai smiled proudly. She continued. “But I don’t want you to kiss me like you have something to prove.”

He cocked his head, confused. “I don’t understand.”

She sighed. “I don’t know how to say this. Bottom line: you’re jealous and you want to prove to me that you’re better than my small list of exes.”

Kai was speechless, a rarity amongst his characteristics.

She squeezed his cheeks with both hands. “Trust me, Kai. I already know you’re better than all of them. You don’t have to prove it to me.” Cinder rubbed his arms, pleading with her eyes. “Just kiss me.”

He chewed on his lip, a habit he picked up from her. “Just kiss you?”

“Yeah, just kiss me.” He was still confused but was trying not to seem like he was. She could tell. “I just want to get this out; I also get jealous sometimes.”

He sputtered. “Of what?!”

“Your not-so-small list of exes.” She said with a raised eyebrow.

He softened, petting her sides. “Oh, Love, there’s nothing to be jealous of.”

“Even when I don’t look like that one model you dated? I was thinking about curling my hair like hers once.”

“No, of course not! You don’t have to change anything about yourself. The way you are is the reason I fell in love with you.”

Cinder sighed dramatically. “How do I know that I’m better for you than her? How do I prove that to you?”

He leaned closer to her, trying to convince her of what she already knew. “You don’t have to prove anything to-” He paused, suddenly shutting his eyes.

“Oh, I see.” He said, finally. He dug his head into the crook of her neck like an embarrassed ostrich.

A ridiculous smile broke out on her face. “You see, babe?” She laughed, petting his hair.

“I’m sorry.” He said, muffled by her skin.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” She kissed his ear. “I forgive you regardless.”

He pulled away and flashed her with sparkling puppy-dog eyes. “In that case, can I kiss you again?”

She smiled. “Of course.”

A/N: Basically this is more of a practice for a type of writing style i’m trying out, though i don’t know if i dod it well. also i personally love writing kai jealous, it’s one of my favorite past times. i would have done this more differently if i thought about it more, but this is a quick fic. hope you enjoy regardless. also, I DO NOT SHIP CINDER AND THONRE. hopefully this fic will forever serve as evidence.

tagging: @just2bubbly @cinderswrench @cindersassasin @the-wee-woo-royal @deprivedmusicaljunkie @crescentchat @wheresmymom-imlost @salt-warrior @rapunzelfromthemoon @briggycat @impossiblesuitcase @kaider-is-my-otp @definitelynotisabel @wassupnye @therealkaidertrash21 (these are for my kaider ONLY fics so please ask if you want to be tagged or removed <3)

[pub-lius]

i heard washington was willing to give madison a bureaucratic position should he fail the house race in 1789—what do you think his politics would’ve been like if he was a member of the executive?

This is a really interesting question!! I don't think it would be very different.

So, firstly, the reason Madison wasn't considered seriously by Washington was because Washington had learned through his war experiences that giving appointments based off of seniority was very crucial to not upsetting very influential people, which is why the War and State departments went to General Henry Knox and Thomas Jefferson respectively, and Hamilton was not the first contender for Treasury Secretary. Knox would later get upset whenever Hamilton was selected for assignments before him, further demonstrating the importance of seniority.

Madison, though we know him as the fourth president and a prestigious southern landowner, did not have that kind of reputation in 1789, obviously. In the 1780s, he was still a rising star, and didn't have a whole lot of publicity in his toolbelt. He served in state committees, but only had two national positions, in the Philadelphia Convention (which was temporary) and in the Confederation Congress (but he wasn't particularly important there). While Washington respected him greatly and Jefferson was his friend, he couldn't give him a major appointment, such as being one of his ministers, without offending SOMEONE.

To get into your question, I think his politics would really depend on what department he was in charge of. We can eliminate Treasury because he didn't have any economic qualifications, and while Washington was not aware of Hamilton's financial skills when he appointed him, he intimately knew that Hamilton could manage a department, including the financial aspects. Madison was not particularly managerial, so Hamilton was more qualified in that respect, even though their experience levels were the same in Washington's perspective. And ofc, James Madison didn't know shit about war (i mean, look at how the War of 1812 went. yikes!)

Source: His Excellency: George Washington by Joseph J. Ellis

So this leaves the State department and Attorney General. Personally, I think Madison would only really qualify for the latter, since the only diplomatic experience he had was within the United States with the natives. However, Madison was an accomplished lawyer and the largest legal issues at this time concerned the Constitution, which Madison was THE expert of, as the author of the Virginia Plan and the most influential Federalist papers (according to Ellis, Washington was aware of the authors of The Federalist, I don't see how this is possible, but it is to Madison's credit.

Source: The Three Lives of James Madison by Noah Feldman, His Excellency: George Washington by Joseph J. Ellis

Madison's legal career began with the defense of freedom of religion, which we can see in the Constitution, and consistently throughout his life. This is definitely a hill he'd die on, and he was very well educated on it. Basically, just look at the Bill of Rights ("which i wrote/the ink hasn't dried"), and you can see, for the most part, Madison's key beliefs. ACTUALLY i recommend reading the original draft of the Bill of Rights because you can get a more clear picture of what Madison believed should be specified in the Constitution.

Source: The National Archives

Ron Chernow is gonna get mad at me but i KNOW, I KNOW, that Thomas Jefferson was a major influence on Madison's views in the 1790s. "Well, Jefferson wasn't even in America when Madison betrayed Hamilton" I DONT GIVE A RATS ASS RON, EVER HEARD OF A FUCKING LETTER, YOU ANCIENT BITCH?! News flash, this isn't ancient fucking Greece, you can WRITE LETTERS TO PEOPLE IN FRANCE FROM NEW YORK IN 1790 YOU DUMB ASS. Anyway.

Jefferson was a political radical (shocker! he never stopped being absolutely insane), and he definitely pushed Madison. I talked about this in my post about their relationship, however, I want to emphasize that Jefferson did have a perceivable influence on Madison's opinions, and you can see it in their correspondence. And, yes, Jefferson was a manipulative person, but he was also a fellow Virginian who took states' rights very seriously. I think that was the most influential aspect on Madison, was that someone from his home state was in his ear telling him how much injustice was being done to people from his native region, and how he should be fighting back against that. When we see Madison in the executive, he quickly realizes why Washington and Hamilton and the other guys that were in executive positions during the Revolution were Federalists. He struggled so much in 1812, because you cannot wage a war on an united platform, and thats what he and Washington had in common.

It seems like, from this perspective, that if Madison were Attorney General, or even a Secretary, he'd have that realization sooner. I don't think so. If Hamilton, in his hypothetical, was not Secretary of the Treasury, maybe he would, and maybe he'd remain a Federalist, since it was Hamilton's financial plan that caused Madison's switch in political party, but if Hamilton was still Treasury Secretary, Madison would still switch. Hamilton's Report on Public Credit said "fuck you we need to fix this crisis, facts over feelings" to states' rights activists, and Madison and Jefferson took that as a personal attack.

Source: Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow

To wrap things up, Madison's core values would not change, and a position in the executive would give him more of a platform to implement them, and that might have affected the judicial reforms around the turn of the century, but I really don't think we'd see a huge jump. Thank you for your question!

[freckledsokka]

thinking a lot about uncle sokka being such an important influence for bumi as a fellow nonbender and assuaging a lot of the guilt and fear of not being Enough and also encouraging bumi's creative mind

i imagine bumi was probably a mean little shit about it at first because no he's gonna be the best bender there ever was he's not like dumb uncle sokka, you'll see

and of course sokka doesn't take offense to this because bumi is just a kid with the weight of the future of the entire air nation on his shoulders and he knows what it means to need to prove yourself to your dad, but at the same time he sees so much of himself in bumi and it hurts to see that spiral of anxiety and shame twisting itself in such a young kid, hurts even more to see the budding self-loathing for not being Special that took sokka so long to untangle, so he tries to get ahead of it by gently suggesting that being a nonbender isn't so bad, trying to show him all the cool and practical things you can do without bending, and reminding him katara and aang will still love him no matter what — but bumi is so resistant to the idea because it's unfathomable for him, as the only child (at this point) of the avatar and the greatest waterbending master alive, to be anything other than a prodigy

so bumi tries and tries and fails and fails and this goes on for years — he meditates (boring, he can't sit still that long), he learns bending forms (but he's never good at remembering them, always messing them up bc he wants to do it his Own Way), he trains and trains and trains (maybe he's actually an earthbender or a firebender like uncle zuko, his dad's the avatar, he could be anything!) — until his baby sister kya shows early signs of being a bender and bumi's whole world comes crashing down around him. he thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't alone, if kya was Like Him (but he still won't admit it to himself, that he's Normal, that he'll never live up to all those expectations), but as soon as kya makes water so much as ripple bumi panics out of fear of rejection

maybe he even runs away because he's so scared his parents won't want him now that they have their bender, that they don't need him because he's not like kya and probably never will be, that they never wanted him because why else would they want another kid if not because he wasn't what they expected? so he takes off on appa (so much like his own father in ways he doesn't even realize, only he isn't running away from perceived destiny but rather perceived lack thereof) and doesn't look back. maybe if he goes to the southern air temple he can find that Thing in himself to become a bender, to be just like his dad, and surely appa just Knows the way there right?

but like everything else in his life, he can't even do this one thing right, he can't even run away without failing — aang and katara got the whole gaang back together to look for him, and bumi only made it as far as the east coast of the fire nation bc he failed to realize appa can't just fly forever. everyone is so relieved to find him safe and while aang and katara are sort of baffled as to why bumi felt like he had to run away bc of course they love him and will always love him where did he get the idea that they don't want him, sokka is like Ah. I See. It's Happening.

(sokka, i think, was rightfully concerned that aang and katara might not have seriously considered what it would mean to raise a nonbender bc that simply isn't their experience and they were probably also operating under the assumption that having a nonbender child would be a statistical impossibility between the two of them despite sokka probably having actual real data to suggest that bending, actually, is the anomalous factor regardless of if one of you is bending georg the avatar [who is, for the record, the definition of a statistical outlier], and there is probably a pretty big i told you so moment around this time)

because of course sokka Gets It, he understood before bumi even accepted the fact that he'll never be the next airbender, and he's there when bumi feels like he's drowning in disappointment, he's there for basically the five stages of grief for the person bumi desperately thought he was and will never be, he's there to remind bumi that he still has an Identity even if it's not the one he was hoping for, he's there to tell bumi stories about all the amazing things he's accomplished in his own life and all the amazing things his grandfather accomplished, both of them nonbenders, and that there's more to life than just weird powers

bumi never really picks up on the more scientific stuff sokka tries to teach him, but in a sense he's sort of like bumi's piandao and teaches him what it means to be a warrior and a leader and is there to nurture all the wacky shenanigans bumi gets into and praises him for always thinking outside the box — and getting to train with sokka makes it hurt a little less that kya gets to train with katara and tenzin gets to train with aang (which is a sore spot he's never been able to fully articulate, this jealousy of tenzin being the thing bumi should've been). training with sokka and seeing his own potential makes bumi feel like maybe he is worth something and can be someone, even if he still feels like he needs to come up with crazier and crazier shit to get his parents to notice him (sometimes, of course, to the point of exaggeration) and thinks that being rambunctious and ridiculous are his only redeeming personality traits

and when bumi is old enough, sokka takes him ice dodging and for the first time in his life, bumi finally feels that profound sense of accomplishment and belonging he was always looking for when he thought he still might be a bender — and, just like sokka before him, he receives the mark of the wise for demonstrating creativity and ingenuity during his trial. his methods might have been unorthodox, but so were sokka's, and while bumi may not physically be an airbender, he knows how to think like one, and sokka is so so proud to see him come into his own as a strategist and a leader, to finally see that true confidence shine, to see bumi determinedly forge his own path in making the world a better place, even if some of bumi's ideas are borderline insane

there's probably also a lot of complex feelings happening when bumi eventually does become an airbender after harmonic convergence, because on one hand, this is the one thing he's always wanted, right? he can finally live up to all those expectations and prove to his dad that he's not a failure (despite all his accomplishments in the united forces). but on the other hand, it feels almost like a cruel joke bc he spent so much of his life accepting who he was as a nonbender and now he gets the weird powers after all that work to be content with who he was? and the only person who ever understood is gone, so who does he even turn to? (would sokka be happy for him? disappointed? proud? upset? freaked out? he'll never know)

anyway i just think. bumi and sokka. are very important.

[ask-cinnavanillamelody]

So I wanna vent, about something really quick, and then we'll go back to our regularly scheduled programming.

I like, hate. College. I hate it, I hate the premise, I hate that they're bleeding me for money, but most of all I hate the people. If I could do college with 5 other people and we all had our own rooms I think I'd like it more. It started snowing today, and the campus is covered in snow. And if you know anything about me, I hate the cold. I hate being cold, I hate being outside in the cold. Because when it's cold, it's guaranteed I'll probably get sick. I'll get chills, the flu, a cold, something.

I wanted to go to a college in North Carolina, but they didn't accept me for an art program, so I ended up at my current college in small-town Pennsylvania. It's cold here, in the winter. it's so goddamn cold I don't want to go outside. I shouldn't go outside. And lucky for me I don't have to go outside because I have everything I need, inside, where it's warm, and I won't die by slipping on ice.

But apparently, my roommate thinks I'm STUPID for calling one of my co-workers to see if my job on campus would still be open. When I could've just "Walked outside to see if they're open" and "It's not that cold". FIRST OF ALL the air outside has to be a certain degree to even freeze the water in the sky and make it dense enough to fall out of the sky in the form of snow. in other words, IT HAS TO BE COLD, TO MAKE COLD WEATHER, AKA SNOW. And I left my warmest coat back home by accident, so I'm even less guarded against the cold weather. And I'm also anemic, it doesn't matter how many fucking layers I put on, I can still be, (and usually am) cold. She wouldn't let me explain why I don't find it necessary to go outside in the cold when I can just as easily find out the information I need by CALLING SOMEONE ON THE PHONE. Yeah sure she may not be here on campus, however, this probably isn't the first time the school's shut down because of weather, she would probably know if the school job that we both work would still be open. Which she did, and now I know whenever the school is shut down, my job is too.

I started to raise my voice because when someone insults me, the natural reaction is to defend myself. And when someone repeatedly interrupts you in conversation, wrongly assuming you're done and continuing to invalidate your feelings and emotions because THEY think it's STUPID and you're being DUMB AND IRRATIONAL about weather you aren't used to, their argument being "You have to get used to it at some point since you live here now"

Technically, I don't actually live here. I don't have a permanent residency here. I can't vote in this state. I live in a warmer southern state. My home is in another state. I am "living" on a college campus. But in the next 3 years? I'm not going to be able to live here. I don't stay here during the winter and summer. I go HOME. I FLY TO ANOTHER STATE. Technically I don't HAVE to get used to shit. I can get my degree, and move to fucking California where it doesn't ever snow. And I can hate the cold all the same. Because it's my right to not like cold weather, yeah I complain about it, but I know it's something I have to deal with. That doesn't mean I have to "learn to get used to it" right now just because you fucking say so. And you don't have to fucking call me stupid and illogical every time I don't want to go outside. That's rude. You can think it, but you don't have to say it. I'm seriously starting to rethink my friendship with this person because we can be fine and friendly, and instantly jump into an argument fucking 5 SECONDS later. I don't want to even live with this person anymore, I'm just dealing with it because the alternative is living with someone I don't know.

UGH IM SO PISSED OFF

anyway, rant over. Now we return to the regularly scheduled programming. 🍫

[aliorsboxostuff]

Hey! I was hoping for a like teen male reader with Joel Miller? Platonic father-son type of relationship obviously. Just one where the reader is kinda a stand in for Ellie plot wise but come's out to Joel as trans(ftm)

No pressure ofc:] <33

A/N YK ITS BEEN A WHILE FOR THAT FATHER!JOEL FIC BUT HEY I FINALLY GOT AROUND TO DO IT and thank YOU so much friend for requesting it and putting my gears to work! Little reminder; a lot of this is based off of HBO tlou more so than the game, and i will also add bits of my experience as a trans teen needing an actual good father figure! (don't we all-). Btw, i don't know how guns work and how trucks work so please enjoy my misinterpretation of them, and i have this image of Joel in my head where he’s supportive in a toxic masculine way, sorry! Anyhow, as usual I apologize for any mistakes, english is my second language. Enjoy the fic friends! <3

Cargo.

Tags: HBOJoel and Male!reader, Joel and teen!reader, Father!Joel, Tess, Marlene, Platonic Relationship, ftm!reader, Misuse of Pronouns, coming out, Canon-Typical violence, sarcastic!Joel, Sassy!Reader, Joel cares in a southern way.

It wasn't your brightest idea, really, but it beats being chained to a radiator. And you do miss Tess and hope she’s up there fighting and being the strong woman she is, but now you're stuck with Joel and a boring road ahead of you.

—

All of this is so dumb.

Joining the Fireflies was dumb. Thinking the Fireflies would help you was dumber. 

Now you're currently stuck, well, held captive in an apartment room, handcuffed to a radiator that won't budge, and a constant Firefly guard outside the room. Awesome, wonder how you got into this situation. And worse of all, those bland food they give you really isn't their deal. Seriously, you'd think they know they're keeping a kid and not a hamster inside a cage. 

You huff, turning to try and pull at the chains again. Putting all of your body weight into it, you lean back and grunt, before a stale water droplet lands on your face. "Ugh! You fucker!"

You huff, opting to sit down again and mumble more curses to whatever leaked upstairs. Obviously, it won't work, but the scraping of metal is enough to keep you entertained. And the possibility of escaping is even more entertaining, you scoff. 

Suddenly, you hear the lock on the door turn, keys dangling, thinking it was one of the guards here to check you, you begin counting.

"One, two, three, four…" Before a lady with curly hair, sharp eyes and an unreadable face walks in instead of the guys. Your eyes quickly dart to the bag she's holding, your backpack. 

She walks in causally, stopping on the arch in the middle of the room. You level her with a stare, hand ready to grab at anything. She throws the pack to your legs and you quickly scramble for it, pulling out the blade you stashed inside and pointing the business end to the woman making her way closer. 

She sits beside you, and you shift just a bit away. 

"You're not scared." As a statement. she gives you a small shake. "Then unlock me."

"How about we start with a 'thank you'?" 

"For what?" I roll my eyes, she quickly interjects, her voice level. 

"For saving your life. I am the one that told them not to shoot you, if you recall."

"Yeah, yeah…" I grumble, putting my switchblade back into its safety. But that's exactly what you've been wondering all those days, her choice. "Why did you stop them?"

"We'll get to that," She reaches for your hand and you quickly pull away, both hands on your blade. She sighs, revealing the small key to your line of sight, and you glare at her, before reluctantly giving her the hand with the chains around. She twists the key, releasing you of your bind, and you instinctively rub the marks it left. 

"So, Evan, how're you feeling?" You wince slightly. That name shouldn't really be the one you blurted out when those guards questioned you, beats your birth name at least.

"The same," You shrug. a beat passes, a heavy silence in the room making you squirm. "Is it gonna happen?"

"No," She answers simply.

"So can I go?"

She shakes her head. "No."

"I won't tell anyone about this, I swear." You push, making eye contact with her, trying to get your point across. 

"Then where would you go? Back to FEDRA military school?" You huff. "What, you're that anxious to be a soldier?" 

"You think I chose that place?" You bite back. "They put me there since I was a baby. It's for orphans."

"'They' didn't put you there," She glares at you, making you retract slightly. "I did. Ellie." 

Then she uttered the name you loathed. You roll your eyes, lips turned into a snarl before you snapped back "You're my fucking mom or something?"

"Do I look like your mom." You don't know, many possibilities to maybe be it. Maybe not. 

"Nooo, you do not." You opted instead. "And no, it's actually…" You gave her your name. Your actual preferred name, not whatever your parents decided was best. She only stared, almost like she wanted to retort, like she knew something you didn't within her dark eyes. 

"Alright, sure," Instead, she answered. "My name is Marlene. I'm the leader of the Fireflies in the Boston QZ." 

"Why would a terrorist dump me with FEDRA?" You snarl.

"Because that's where you’ll be safest, and you were safe, until you decided to sneak out." She quickly retorted. "And 'Terrorist'?"

"Was Riley a terrorist?" Your eyes snap to her, another boiling rage almost simmers over. It would be so easy to embed the blade you're still holding onto her neck, maybe slice it and watch as warm blood flows and paint your hands red. She'd probably deserved it. In what way was she allowed to bring up the only person who loves you for you like that?

but instead it simmers down to pain. Another twist at the knife already pushing at those deep wounds. Your eyes break away from Marlenes to around the room, to the floorboard that chips away from neglect. You gulp, blinking the annoying tears making their presence known, taking in shaky lungfuls. Exhaling slowly, you could see the edges of your vision blurring, before you look at Marlene again. Your mouth opens, yet pushing your vocal cords to work seems harder than it used to. You take another inhale, gulping down those dead feelings, then finally meet her steel eyes again. She has the gall to look mildly sympathetic. 

"Why won't you let me go home?" Your voice wavers slightly. 

She exhales, eyes softening slightly. It hurts for you to see. "Because you have a greater purpose than any of us could've ever imagined." she says.

"So we're leaving tonight, and were taking you with us," 

The door opens again, and that familiar Firefly voice calls. "He's here."

"Five minutes," Marlene requested, and they nodded, closing the door. She turns back to you She shifts so her body is angled towards you, and you sit up straighter against the steel bars behind you. 

"What I'm about to tell you can not be repeated to anyone. Because if you do, I assure you," She stares. "You will die."

—

"Ow! Fuck…" The man stands before you, gun aimed at your head as you huff back the breath he knocked out of you. Steps behind her, a woman with pulled-back hair stands, the same cautious eyes scanning you, then back to Marlene at the end of the hallways. Maybe ambushing him wasn't your brightest idea, now that he's stepped on your blade. They seem to know each other. 

Marlene calls your name, her tone a try of soothing. Then she calls again, demanding, finally breaking eye contact with this 'Joel' guy and turning to her. That's when you spot the wound, bleeding at her side and it looks bad. "Oh shit-"

"No, it's okay. I'll be alright." She reassures you. "And you can't be stupid like this," She scolds. 

"So this is who Robert screwed us over with?" You turn to see a woman as she stands steps away from the man. "The Che Guevara of Boston?" 

"Well war must be pretty shitty for you to be buyin' from scumbags like him." Marlene replies with an eerily steady tone. 

"Yeah it kinda has been," She calls back. "The merch was bad, and he obviously didn't take 'Fuck off' for an answer." All the while you glared daggers at the man, eyeing your blade still beneath his boot.

"Gimme my knife back." You snarl. 

"What do you need a car battery for?" The man asks, before I try to steal my blade back and the cock of a gun startles me, he's back to aiming at me. "Don't." I quickly raise my arms up-

"Not at her," Marlene calls, both her gun and the lady beside her aimed at the man.  "Point it at me." 

Joel raises his brows in warning, before he slowly turns and aims back to Marlene. “And to answer your question, i need it for a better reason than you do,”

“No offense but Tommy’s just one man, It's our business to know things-”

“‘Know things’,” Joel bites. “You're the cause of it. You turned my own brother against me.”

“Okay Joel, that was a lot of gunfire- FEDRA’s gonna be on the way.” Kim reminds. “I know.” Marlene looks away, then down to you where you pull slightly at the definitely strained shoulder from the fall earlier. She bites her lip. “We're gonna move her out of the zone tonight. But we won't make it anywhere like this, not for a while.”

Joel looks down at you, scruffed hair and a scar jutting from his brow. “So now I'm thinkin’, you're gonna do it.”

“The hell we are.” Joel says in unison as you say;

“I’m not goin’ with them!” You shout back.

Kim turns to Marlene, holding her wound. “Let me take her.”

“Tess, we don't have time for this.” The man turns to ‘Tess’.

“Oh you don't have time-” 

“What is she to you?” Tess calls.

“To you? She’s cargo.” Marlene interjects.

“We don't smuggle people. Sorry.” Joel replies sharply.

“I can do it-”

“Kim, you don't have a fuckin’ ear on your fuckin’ head, could you please?” Marlene scrunches her face, Kim deflates as she meets eyes with you, before she looks away again. Marlene inhales a ragged breath, before she sighs. “There's a team of Fireflies waiting for her at the old State House-”

Jeol opens his mouth but Marlene continues; “I know what's out there. We were going with an entire squadron for that very reason.” She takes a breath. “But now we don't have a truck, i don't have a squadron, FEDRA’s five minutes away, what i do have is you.” She pauses, eyes fleeting from Joel's to Tess’.

“And I know what you're both capable of. For better or worse.”

Joel’s hand tightens around the gun, making you gulp, looking back at the woman she’s ready to pull her claws out too. You turn to Marlene, a shake in your voice as you say, “What are they capable of?”

“You get her there safely, and they’ll give you what you need. Not just the battery, the whole thing. Fueled up trucks, guns, supplies, all of it.” Marlene regards them both. “I swear.”  

You watch as the man blinks, then he turns to Tess for a brief moment before she nods her head, angling behind her, he nods curtly. Joel stares you down again, and as he lifts his leg it was your chance to swiftly reach and cut- before he kicked your knife far from your reach. “Asshole!”

Marlene regards you with a stare, when you only huffed and rub at your shoulder again.

The two strangers whisper from the other end of the hall, too far away for you to hear anything coherent. They share looks and assess both you and Marlene, before they turn back to their circle. The scene reminds you of something out of FEDRA school, back when those girls would whisper rumors about you or Riley, about you in particular usually. You narrow your eyes when Joel glances at you. He only narrows his and returns to Tess. 

“Y'all talk it through but please remember I'm bleeding out!” Marlene announces. The pair pauses, before Tess turns.

“Okay, here's the deal.” She walks languidly and stands by your side. “We’ll get her to your crew at the state house, but before we hand her over, they give us everything we want.”

“If not, we kill her, then and there.”

“Deal.” Marlene nods. You snap at her, eyes wide. 

“Really? That fast?”

“You are all that matters. The team won't jeopardize that.” You sigh, breaking eye contact with her. “Remember what I told you? Now go get your backpack.”

You huff, looking back at the woman that promises you safety, a pinch of pain snaps through your heart. “Now.” She adds your name, at which you grumble and stand to retrieve your pack.

Hauling the thing onto your back, you stand in the corridor again, now closer to the pair. “Okay, let's go.” Tess turns, already making her way out.

You stare back at Marlene, angry and disappointed and hurt but she nods, encouraging you to follow the woman you’ve only seen threaten your ticket out of here. You narrow your eyes, before you turn and shoulder-check Joel before grabbing your knife, pocketing it and not looking back. You briefly hear Marlene's fading voice, “Joel, don't fuck this up. Please.”

Before heavy boots follow behind you and you reach the door with Tess.

—

You find yourself missing Tess already. It didn't take long for you to bury the grief down, in a world like this there's no reason to get sentimental. But with the little time you and her got along, better than you got along with Jeol at least, she reminds you of that older student that was nice to you. The one that offered gum once and told you she liked your hair. She then got admitted to join FEDRA’s soldiers. That was the end of that, and so was Tess.

Through your time hiking with Joel, he’s told you about his scar and the reason you two are going to Frank and Bill’s, he explains to you about the remnants of a plane you two passed. He explains the mundanity of it, the expensive sandwich people would buy but your eyes only sparkle with wonder. He rolls his eyes as you two continue walking to the run-down gas station where he kept a stash of supplies. 

Once the two of you arrived at the fenced little town, Joel told you to get cleaned up while he started the car. So you snagged the body tape that was laying in the medicine cabinet and took the first hot shower since forever ago.

You sigh as the water hits your skin, scrubbing the grime and dirt from days of buildup into the drain. You made sure to wash your hair too. As you dry off and make sure your hair is in a towel, you put on the body tape before grabbing the shirt and hoodie you pulled from the clothes boxes. The layers keep your chest hidden and you smile as you take in yourself from the mirror. Clean and dry hair, flat chest and clean face. Though the scar makes you look tougher, you grin to yourself. Lastly, you put deodorant on before putting on the jacket you set aside earlier.

When Joel was finished with the car and took his shower, you checked around the place, pulling and prodding at furniture that piqued your interest. Your eyes widen when you pull down a drawer to reveal a loaded gun. You quickly stuff it inside your bag when you hear Joel coming down the stairs.

“Well don't you look nice,” You grin, making the older man huff.

“Come on,”

—

When the two of you take off from the guarded houses, it takes another 2 hours before the car reaches an abandoned gas station and Joel pulls to the side.

“I'm going to get fuel, you.” He stares at you. “Don't wander off, stay close,”

“Sure,” You huff, jumping out of the car to look around. The station seemed to host a convenience store, the broken glass door both inviting and menacing. 

Looking back as Joel picks out a fuel canister from the trunk, you begin walking to the abandoned building. You can feel Joel's eyes following your back, knowing he's putting you in his line of sight. 

Careful with the glass door, you walk through the threshold and look around. Empty shelves, scattered and definitely expired products, old posters that are peeling. You gander at the opened register, sighing knowing that someone probably stole from it before running off somewhere. reaching the back of the store, a bathroom door peeks open. 

The hinges creak as you step inside, cautious for any infected until your eyes track to the exposed ceiling, sunlight cascading through the giant hole and the cracks surrounding it.

"Cool…" You grin, amazed by the rays that have made their way inside. The humidity from the toilets must've generated the amount of foliage that grew inside the stalls, judging from the green bushes and fungi that grew—who knew FEDRA school actually gave you some information. 

When you turn, you jump a bit when you see your reflection, a cracked mirror in front of you. You scoff, looking into the glass where you stand. There you are, a thick jacket over your body while your hair has started to ruffle a bit. You drop your bag and reach for the gun, pulling it out. The safety is in place, and you did check the bullets earlier when Joe wasn't looking. It felt heavy in your hand, the piece of metal capable of taking lives, and saving them. You mull over it, before you pull it in front of you, the mirror reflects back the image of you holding the gun against yourself, a hardened face like all those soldiers had. You pull the safety back.

“Pew, pew,” You mimic a gun firing. “Pew.” 

Staring back into your eyes, darkened from the minimal lighting in the environment. There's a bit of your hair covering your face before you huff it away and bring back the gun. Clicking the safety back, you pull out the cartridge to find it full, of course. The barrel is a bit harder to pull, but when it does go off a bullet clatters to the ground. It clangs and you hurry to pick it up, hearing for any indication that Joel might hear it. 

A beat passes and you release a relieved sigh. Putting the bullet and cartridge on the sink, you stare at the empty gun, before clicking the safety off and aiming at yourself again. You grin, closing one eye as if aiming and clicking.

Nothing shoots out, but you triumphant smile either way. 

Putting the bullets back in and making sure the safety was on, you stuff the gun back inside your bag before you head outside. 

You approached a hunched Joel, shoving a plastic tube into a car’s fuel tank, already acknowledging you in front of him. “We have to do this every hour?”

“Gas breaks down over time,” He continues to feed the tube in. “This stuff’s almost water.”

“Back in the day, we’d drive ten, twenty hours on one tank. You could go anywhere,”

“So where’d you go?” You watch Joel stuff a ball of fabric into the hole. He pauses for a second, meeting your eyes before he looks back down.

“Pretty much anywhere,” Then he blows into another tube. The clear tube fills with gas and it flows into the canister that’ll hold it. You stare at the technique with fascination.

“Nice! How does that work?” You approach the can.

“It's a siphon. It’s when liquid… travels against gravity,” Joel pauses as he watches you smirk. “Because pressure-”

“You don't know,” You grin.

“I know it works.” He insists, making you chuckle as you turn your back to him. “No wanderin’.” 

You groan, returning in front of Joel where he's still ‘siphon’-ing the gasoline. He’s busy with his work, when you get a bright idea. “Okay,” You grin.

You pull out the one book that’ll cure your boredom. “Your fault then,” 

“Doesn't matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationary,” Joel fixes you with a stare, a little dent between his brows when you giggle. 

“‘No Pun Intended, Volume too,’ By Will Livingston. Get it? ‘T-o-o’, like two O’s,” 

“Jesus,” Jeol grunts when you laugh again. 

“What did the mermaid wear to her math class?” You grin widely while Joel straightens his shirt, staring blankly back at you as you slowly lean forward, urging him to answer. “An algae bra!” 

You continue to laugh, both at the joke and at Joel's face, before you continue. “I stayed up all night-”

“No-”

“Wondering where the sun went, and then it dawned on me!”

Joel sighs and leans on the deserted car. “Feel free to wait in the car.”

“Okay, but just know,” You display the book to the exasperated man. “You can't escape Will Livingston. He’ll be back,” 

He only rolls his eyes as you giggle and haul your pack, walking to where the truck is parked. Another half an hour passes before you hear the crunch of Joel's boots and the shift as he puts the canister on the truck's trunk, and slides back inside. You were lounging in the back seat when he started the engine, then drove out of the abandoned station. 

The car moves past a couple of massive trucks, where you quickly sit up and stare at them as you both pass by. 

“Must’ve been some truck,” You stare, intrigued.

“Yeah, they used to stick big-ass plows on them and clear the roads for their tanks and such,”

“Whoa! I wanna see a tank!” 

“You will,” Joel replies, a bit bitten off as he stares out into the road. You prompted to look around instead, pulling a shiny something from the back of the passenger seat. A tape, ‘Hank Williams’ was written on top.

“Got somethin’,” You tap Joel's shoulder with it as you lean between the seats. “Here, this make you all nostalgic?”

Joel takes the tape, looking it over, tapping on it. “This is actually before my time,”

“Great,” You sit back when you spot Joel putting the tape into the player. 

“It’s a winner though,” He presses play and a guitar melody starts to strum, filling the car. You grin as the music starts, before you start to look around again, pulling another thing from the floor.

“Oh man, go somethin’ else,” You grin, flipping it open. You spotted Joel's eye from the rearview and he seems to have spotted the front of the magazine.

“It’s uh- light on the reading, But it has some interesting pictures,” Joel could practically break his neck with the way he turns, eyes wide as he sees you flipping away.

“No, no, no put that back. That’s not for- kid come on-” 

Your eyes scan the pictures, pulling an extended one where your jaw dramatically stops. “How would he even walk around with that thing?!” 

“Please get rid of it.”

“Hold your horses, I wanna see these cool ‘examples’!” You giggle, flipping to another page when Joel only sighs. His eyes are back on the road when you smirk with an idea. “Why are all these pages stuck together?”

“Uh…” The man is either worried he’ll say the wrong word or confuse you more with an answer, faltering and searching for more words only for you to grin.

“Oh i’m just fuckin’ with ya,” You smack the back of his seat lightly. You pull down the window, feeling the gust of wind as the car drives through the dried fields, before you throw the magazine out of the window and into the wild. “Bye-bye dude!” 

Time passes and so does the scenery. From dried fields, to cows roaming the pastures, to abandoned roller coasters. And Joel was right, you did pass by tanks, abandoned and vines had made their home in it, a somber reminder of the past. You feel a shiver run up your arm when the car passes those big and rusted weapons, before you look away and focus on the road instead. The car passes rows and rows of trailers, a resting area for truckers back in the day, Joel explained when you asked. 

Soon, the road turns into a forest, and the last of the cassette dies down, filling the car with silence. “Alright, that's enough for today,” 

Joel presses at the radio where the tape escapes and he puts it back down, then he turns into a clearing where the truck treks through green grass, no doubt leaving tire tracks. He stops it as the surrounding trees cover the car, but the treeline is just visible. 

—

You emerge from your cocoon of a sleeping bag to a rattling, slowly blinking the sleep from your eyes before you quirk your nose with an unfamiliar smell. Inching your way to the stove, you wiggle until you stand on your knees and pull at the boiling thing on top of it, the smell suddenly stronger which makes you cringe back. “Ugh! What the fuck is that?!”

“You don't like coffee?” Joel calls back from the trunk, brows raised, clearly shocked.

You only stared back at the pot, a tinge of disgust yet fascination, before flipping the lid back on and throwing yourself to your earlier curled position, opting to ignore the stink.

After putting all of your supplies back and securing them, Joel starts the car as you sit in the passenger seat. He instructs you to pull out a map and you do just that as he drives back into the paved road. When the both of you are on solid road, Joel pulls out a black bottle, and sips at it.

“Is that seriously what those Starbucks in the QZ used to sell?” You grimace, looking at the man beside you.

“Well, theirs was a lot fresher than what Bill saved up, but yeah this is what they sold.” 

You stare at the bottle again. “Smells like burnt shit.” 

Joel ignores you, only sipping coffee again, this time visibly louder before he fixes you a stare. “Eyes on the map.”

You huff, putting your attention back on the paper laid out in front of you. “76 West, and then… 70 West, for like, ever.” You sigh.

“Where in Wyoming did you say your brother was?”

“Last contact came through a radio tower close to Cody,” Joel turns to watch you as you flip the paper, eyes searching.

“Cody… Cody, Cody! Ah man, that's deep in there,” Your finger traces the many lines and roads etched into the paper. 

“Yeah,”

“And if he's not there?”

“Then odds are, he’ll be near a settlement, probably close to another city out there, ain't too   many of ‘em in Wyoming,”

You squint at one of the names on the map. “Chee-yen?”

“Cheyenne.”

“Che- Really?” Joel nods. “Cheyenne, Laramie…. Casper?” You hum, continue to read the map.

“What's his name?”

“Whose name?”

“Your brother,” This time you're focused on Joel, choosing to put the map on your lap instead. After a pause, Joel answers.

“Tommy,”

“Younger or older?”

“Younger,”

“Why isn't he with you?” Another curious question.

“A long story.”

“Is it longer than 25 hours? ‘Cause I think that's what we got,” You shrug, looking at Joel while he only blinks, before his eyes are back on the road. He huffs, then begins to tell about Tommy and how he came to be.

The story ends with a closing remark about the Fireflies, and you had to agree they were dumb. Trying to save a dying world is useless, though there is still hope. It ends bitterly as it reminds you of Marlene.

“If you don't think there's hope for the world, why bother going on?” Your eyes track the road outside. “I mean, you gotta try right?”

Joel stayed silent, then; “You haven't seen the world so you don't know.”

“You keep goin’ for family, that's about it,”

“I’m not family,” You almost flinched with how little your voice sounds.

“No,” Joel shakes his head. “You're cargo.”

“I made a promise to Tess, and she was like family.”

You nodded slowly, resting your head on the seat as your eyes passed the fields outside. You think back to Riley, to the days you’d spend with her, to the way she made you feel as if the world was only worth the two of you. She was family, she made you feel like family. Then that was over and next thing you know you ran away from Marlene despite promising Riley you’d join them.

“Y’know… about Marlene,” Joel turns to you for a second, realizing how quiet you got, before he turns back to the road. You chewed at your bottom lip a bit, before huffing and turning to the road beside you, letting the morning wind breeze through your hair. 

“She said this old name, Ellie,” Your brows frown a little, trying to blink as you feel your eyes gloss over. “That was the name my parents apparently gave me before they left me with FEDRA.” 

“Marlene told me that, the name,” When you turn, Joel’s eyes are trained on you, soft on the edges and it makes you gulp. “I hated it. I always did,” 

“You don't go by that.”

“No, I don't.” You huff, looking away and outside your window again. The wind is soothing over you. “I never had a family, Marlene wasn't family she was just a Firefly, and the only one i had was…”

“So I changed it. Never felt like mine anyways, Ellie- Feels like a dead girl's name,” Grass and trees pass by. “And I'm not a girl, so…”

“No?” This time, you notice the hint of confusion and curiosity in the man's tone. 

“Nope,” You popped the ‘p’. “Never was, never will be,” 

“So you’re…?” You scoff, turning back to Joel.

“I’m a dude, dumbass,” You stared at Joel as he looked out at the road, then back at you, eyebrows scrunched together. “What?”

“Marlene said-”

“Marlene doesn't know shit.” You cross your arm, trying to bury yourself into the seat. “She left me, just like my parents. So I make my own rules. I made it myself. Got a problem?” 

Joel only stares, silence filling the void, only the light hum and sometimes gravel underneath the road made noise. You huff, looking out into the world, contemplating your choice. What went through your head thinking this man, who considers you ‘cargo’ was worth sharing a bit of yourself with? He wasn't someone worth dying for, worth saving for, he didn't earn this personal information about you. Fuck this, fuck your stupid heart, fuck your damn feelings and mushy-

“Sure kid, whatever,” Now that made you snap at him. The last time someone said that to you was when you told Riley about it. Albeit less cold and distant, but still. Your brows arch, assessing the man next to you.

“You don't care?”

“Why should i? That doesn't matter,” He shrugs, eyes trained on the road. “What matters is i don't need to carry your dead weight if you got your ass bitten, ‘cause you're a man,”

You blink, slightly confused and worried if Joel got hit in the head or not. Maybe it was that coffee… Either way, you felt a sense of warmth blooming in your heart, elevating your breath, before you scoff and look away, a smile making its way to your lips. “Yeah, whatever old man,”  

Requests are opened!

[sweaterkittensahoy]

Your post about "don't shit on the south" re: Alabama abortion abruptly reminded me of the worst time I've ever dealt with people immediately assuming Southern = Bad. A very loudly out-and-proud classmate of mine, upon hearing that I'd primarily been doing community and economic development work throughout the Tennessee valley prior to grad school, asked me - completely seriously - how I felt about working to improve the lives of people who wanted queer folk to die as a queer person myself. I don't even remember what my response was other than "everyone deserves to have a good quality of life" because I was absolutely fucking flabbergasted she thought that was a reasonable or acceptable question to ask - especially since we had known each other for all of a week and I hadn't actually made any indication to her that I was in fact queer! Apparently my undercut and #vibes were enough for me to be labelled without my input.

Yeah, this has been an experience I've had with academic-types who hear I'm from Arkansas and are shocked I exist as a queer who doesn't want to burn down the state.

Like, maybe the problem is that you're stuck in the repeated media portrayals of all Southern people as dumb and haven't actually talked to any of them. Some of the most liberal folks I know are from my hometown.

And the way politicians who say they care about rural folks act is a major issue, too. I remember when Hilary said she wasn't going to "bother" with a lot of Southern states, and I went on a rant for DAYS. Like, lady, you are famously the wife of the FIRST PRESIDENT FROM ARKANSAS. WHO WAS WELL-LIKED. WHAT THE FUCK. Like, you literally just announced to every poor person in the country that you assume they're too stupid to like you. By just handwaving an entire fucking region that is KNOWN to have pockets of devoted, politically interested and politically savvy people who are looking for a sense of actually being treated like intelligent people.

I'm so proud of every single person who is fighting for the abortion rights of Arkansas people right now. Based on what I hear from my own fairly conservative family down there, it's tougher than it has ever been in my life to get people to listen to why it's needed. Because Arkansas IS red as fuck. No question. And it's loud red, you know what I mean? Like, holy shit, organizers for abortion rights got enough signatures for an 18 WEEK NO QUESTIONS ASKED POLICY WITH EXEMPTIONS AFTER THAT. Every single person who went out canvassing for that campaign should be making millions running political campaigns. Do you understand the walls they just climbed with their fingernails to pull that off?

Fuck anyone who dismisses whole states or whole regions or whole groups of people they don't fucking know a thing about. Every single person who worked on this ballot initiative is a fucking hero. And there's a whole lot of folks like them. Fuck. I wouldn't be surprised if the work Stacy Abrams did to turn Georgia blue is part of what got the group in Arkansas to get to work.

[pesterloglog]

John Egbert, Jade Harley, Jaspersprite

Act 6, page 5283-5307

JOHN: jade...

JADE: hm?

JOHN: i think i just realized something.

JADE: what?

JOHN: THIS MOVIE FUCKING SUCKS!!!

JADE: whaaat

JADE: but you love this movie!

JOHN: yeah, i know.

JOHN: i mean... i thought i did.

JOHN: it's been kind of a long time since i last saw it. i really remember it being a lot better than this!

JOHN: but now everything just seems so cheesy and stupid.

JADE: but you were making such a big deal about finally getting me to watch it with you on your birthday!

JADE: you were going on and on about how i wouldnt be disappointed... but now youre saying you dont like it?

JOHN: i don't know. i'm trying to like it. i WANT to like it.

JOHN: i want to feel the same magic that was there all the other times i watched it.

JOHN: but i can't, because...

JOHN: it's just...

JOHN: not...

JOHN: good. :(

JADE: really?

JADE: i was actually kind of enjoying it!

JADE: its very silly

JADE: i really dont think its the kind of movie youre supposed to take all that seriously john

JOHN: but i DID take it seriously!!!

JOHN: i guess maybe that's kind of the point.

JOHN: i always thought all this hokey bullshit was legitimately awesome and compelling.

JOHN: what was i even thinking!

JADE: i dunno....

JADE: but people can change their minds about things

JADE: i think youre allowed to change your mind about a silly movie

JADE: i used to LOVE the squiddles show when i was really young

JADE: but as i got older i started to realize it wasnt as great as i thought it was

JADE: i was just too young to see how it was actually a flagrant vehicle for selling merchandise

JADE: and if you believed the conspiracy theorists it might have even been pushing some other dark hidden agendas.....

JADE: so i stopped liking the show itself as much but that didnt change the fact that i had a lot of fond memories about it

JADE: i still loved all the cute characters and could enjoy it on a nostalgic level

JOHN: well, maybe later i'll be able to rekindle some nostalgic feelings about it.

JOHN: but right now, i just feel like a dope for talking this up so hard.

JADE: what is even the problem with it?

JADE: ive just been watching this and thinking, yup, i can see why john was so obsessed with this movie...

JADE: its funny!

JOHN: it's just non stop terrible action movie cliches!

JOHN: look.

JOHN: i love nic cage. he is basically my hero, ok?

JOHN: but i'm kind of just realizing now that he is EMBARRASSINGLY BAD in this movie!

JOHN: he is just doing this corny parody of a southern guy who is down on his luck, and acts "charming" with his goofy accent and stuff.

JOHN: some things i used to think were so badass are just coming off as ridiculous now.

JOHN: can you believe that one time we were watching this movie, when he said "put the bunny back in the box" i actually high fived my dad?

JOHN: this time that line just made me roll my eyes.

JOHN: there's so much crappy dialogue!

JOHN: "cyrus, this is your barbecue, and it tastes good..." arrgh!

JADE: but he was trying to sound like a hardened criminal to win the trust of john malkovich!

JOHN: jade, please. it was a cheesy line, don't be so naive.

JADE: what!!

JADE: you spent your whole life worshiping this dumb movie and now youre calling ME naive????

JOHN: ok, i'm sorry. i guess in fairness to you, you have only just begun to climb the steep learning curve of this vexing and hypnotic film.

JOHN: but i am no longer bound by its spell, jade.

JADE: oh god

JADE: vexing and hypnotic??

JADE: its a movie full of explosions about a guy with a mullet

JADE: what is with you lately? you seem to be in such a crappy mood these days

JOHN: i am fine. this MOVIE is what's crappy these days.

JADE: oh bluh bluh

JADE: can we just finish the rest of the movie?

JADE: look you made us miss a whole bunch of stuff!

JADE: hang on im going to rewind it...

JOHN: who even cares what we missed.

JOHN: just cameron stupid poe in his idiot wife beater babbling some more southern home spun heroic nonsense.

JOHN: heart of gold my ass!!!!!

JOHN: everything dave ever said about this movie was right! i can't believe i used to think he was just trolling me.

JOHN: the stupid junkyard scene where cyrus makes a little model out of rocks and stuff, just so he could tell the criminals to surround some army guys and shoot them... that was pointless!

JOHN: and all this heavy handed scoring. oh my god. the music makes every little thing into such a federal issue!

JOHN: like... oh man, SOME MINOR CHARACTERS BEING INTRODUCED IN SLOW MOTION! dun-dun dun-dun DUN DUN DUN!!!

JOHN: there. now you officially know they are all badasses.

JOHN: also, i somehow didn't even remember dave chappelle being in this movie. he was pointless too.

JADE: whos dave chappelle?

JOHN: and you know the malloy guy, the dick head cop who we're supposed to hate, because of how he gives john cusack a hard time and makes asshole decisions with a helicopter?

JOHN: well screw that! he wasn't so bad. so what if he was a little grumpy? he was just trying to do his job. he had one of the best lines in the movie actually, which was another thing we were supposed to hate him for.

JOHN: what was it? about how cusack was probably out saving a tree and recycling his sandals or some shit? HAHAHA! now that i think about it, i fucking LOVE malloy.

JOHN: i'm going to rewind it to watch that scene again...

JADE: no!!!

JADE: dont touch the remote

JOHN: oh, and we're supposed to be like "YEAH" when cusack wrecks malloy's awesome sports car.

JOHN: but that was a nice car! john cusack shouldn't have ruined it like that for laughs.

JOHN: i know *I* wasn't laughing, were you?

JADE: YES :p

JOHN: john cusack was such a terrible character in this movie now that i think about it. i don't really get what he added to it?

JOHN: he was like the second hero... but dorkier? what did he even really do? he scampered around the junkyard for a while goofing off, and then when it was his time to shine...

JOHN: HE DEMONSTRATED HIS MASTERY OVER HEAVY MACHINERY! wow, he can operate a crane! i am thrilled by the exploits of this pedantic weenie.

JOHN: i guess he's actually like cage's estranged sidekick? almost like the robin that batman never realized he had.

JOHN: now that i think about it, this movie was always an oddly poignant tale of bromance between cage and cusack. just two bros separated by destiny, waiting to be united.

JOHN: when they finally come together to kick some ass, it is arguably more moving than when he reunites with his wife and daughter!

JOHN: i wonder if i'll think that scene sucks now too? it used to move me to tears, but now i'll probably think it's so lame, i'm almost afraid to watch it. maybe i should try to leave at least SOME memories untainted.

JADE: john you are kind of sounding like a crazy person here

JOHN: yeah right! crazy like a fOWWW!

JADE: what???

JOHN: oh...

JOHN: i guess there was a stray feather clinging to my pajamas and it just poked me in the ass.

JOHN: god damn dave sprite.

JOHN: that guy molts like it's going out of style.

JADE: oh...

JADE: heh

JADE: yeah

JOHN: where is he anyway?

JOHN: i specifically told dave sprite several times when my party would start, because i knew he would do this.

JOHN: he's already missed half the movie!

JADE: why do you always call him dave sprite?

JOHN: um... because that's his name?

JOHN: dave sprite.

JADE: no, i mean why do you always say it like that? with the space between words?

JADE: its not dave sprite, its just davesprite

JOHN: what ever.

JOHN: i can't believe he's standing me up on my birthday.

JOHN: maybe he doesn't want to hang out with jaspers?

JOHN: jaspers, i hope you're not going to start chasing him around again when he gets here.

JASPERSPRITE: Hisssss!

JOHN: dude, shut up.

JADE: yeah.... john

JADE: i dont think davesprite is coming tonight

JOHN: aw, man. really?

JOHN: i knew we shouldn't have invited both him and jaspers.

JOHN: that's just party planning BASICS.

JADE: no...

JADE: it has nothing to do with jaspers

JOHN: oh.

JOHN: then why?

JADE: he uh...

JADE: kind of broke up with me

JOHN: what!!!

JOHN: when did that happen?

JADE: a couple days ago

JOHN: no. no way.

JOHN: i cannot accept this!

JADE: john its ok you dont have t...

JOHN: you and dave sprite were like the glue holding everything together on this miserable road trip!

JADE: we were?

JOHN: yes, jade.

JOHN: you were our rock.

JADE: your rock??

JADE: what are you talking about?

JOHN: come on, jade.

JOHN: you and dave sprite were like... an INSTITUTION on this stupid golden battleship.

JADE: we were not an institution!

JADE: you are just saying meaningless things now

JOHN: why did he break up with you?!

JADE: um...

JADE: its complicated

JADE: basically hes just going through a lot of stuff right now

JOHN: stuff??

JOHN: what stuff.

JOHN: jade, we are all going through stuff. you don't see me flying off the handle and breaking up with MY girlfriend.

JADE: do uh...

JADE: you have a girlfriend?

JOHN: that is not the point.

JOHN: the point is that dave sprite is a douche.

JADE: i dont think hes a douche, hes just...

JOHN: no, he's an orange feathery douche.

JOHN: why is he such a basket case? he's like regular dave, but like, aloof enigma edition.

JOHN: maybe it's because he's part bird? i think becoming a bird and a sprite did something weird to him.

JADE: i dont think being a bird ever bothered him

JADE: like i said... its all more complicated than that

JOHN: normal dave was so much more level headed.

JOHN: i have to admit, i spend a lot of time wondering what he and rose are up to.

JADE: me too

JOHN: ehh...

JOHN: maybe it's for the best he broke up with you.

JADE: why?

JOHN: well, what kind of future do you think you would have with him?

JOHN: he's a sprite. like really, what even is a sprite? how long do they live? will he still be around if we win the new game we are allegedly trying to get to?

JADE: i dont know

JOHN: there are a lot of things we don't know.

JOHN: and also...

JOHN: how do things even work if you marry a sprite?

JADE: what do you mean

JOHN: i mean...

JOHN: ok, he has a ghost butt, for one thing.

JADE: uh

JADE: so

JOHN: a GHOST BUTT, jade!

JADE: SO WHAT IF HE HAS A GHOST BUTT!!!!!

JOHN: i'm just saying...

JADE: WHATEVER YOURE JUST SAYING, JUST STOP SAYING IT!

JADE: and whatever youre trying to gesture with your hands there, stop doing that too!

JOHN: what? no, i was just...

JADE: nope!!! totally not talking about this

JOHN: but

JADE: put your hands down john

JOHN: ok, fine.

JADE: thats not down, thats up!

JADE: oh well, at least youre not making those unsettling gestures...

JADE: john...

JADE: what are you doing?

JOHN: nothing!

JADE: i hope youre not entertaining some awkward train of thought about, uh...

JOHN: no!!!

JADE: what is with you??

JADE: today is your birthday, youre supposed to be having fun!

JADE: but youve been so testy, as if youre committed to not having a good time

JOHN: well, maybe i'm just getting a little tired of being stuck on this lame boat!

JOHN: don't you think it's gotten kind of old?

JADE: yeah, i can see how you might find it a little slow here

JADE: i dunno, i havent minded much... maybe its different for me though because i used to live all alone?

JOHN: oh sure, i'm sure it's GREAT for you. you get to spend your days smooching and breaking up with dave sprite and what not, and you can shrink down to any old planet you feel like, any time. whereas i have to make this whole big deal of ASKING you to shrink or unshrink me, and...

JADE: but i dont mind doing that any time!!!

JOHN: i know, but you think i want to bug you about that at the drop of a hat? when you're busy and on dates and stuff? i just happen to have respect for something called PERSONAL BOUNDARIES, jade.

JOHN: and it's not like there's really anyone else to talk to, except the inscrutable chess people and a bunch of brainless consorts and an idiot cat princess. oh and also nanna, but i mean, she's my grandmother, and she's great, but a guy can only spend so much quality time with his grandmother before he starts to feel like kind of a loser whose friends are too busy to spend time with him!

JADE: john... if you told me this earlier i would have...

JOHN: and i still never visit any interesting dream bubbles, and we can't even finish our cool planet quests because the moment we broke through the window all our denizens decided to go back to sleep, and...

JOHN: i guess what i'm saying is, i'm MORE than ready to get to the other window and meet our friends and other new people and stuff.

JOHN: are you sure you can't make the ship go faster???

JADE: were already going as fast as i can make us go

JOHN: and how fast is that again?

JADE: about the speed of light!

JOHN: well, can't you use your space powers and bump it up a notch?

JADE: no! nothing can go faster than light john

JADE: unless you teleport of course

JOHN: and why can't you teleport us again?

JADE: i already explained this! i cant do that here, its not within the domain of the green sun which gives me those powers!

JOHN: is that why we can't go faster than light either?

JADE: no thats just a regular law of physics!!! jeez

JOHN: ok, i mean, i know that. but this isn't really a regular place, right?

JOHN: isn't the speed of light like a thousand miles a second? so what does that really mean here? are miles and seconds the same here as on earth? how does this nonsense dimension we're racing through jive with all the relativity mumbo jumbo?

JADE: ok first of all, thats not even close to the speed of light

JADE: light travels at a hundred and eighty six thousand miles per second no matter what frame of reference youre in... even this one!

JADE: second of all special relativity and comparing laws of physics between different frames of reference, those are tricky issues to talk about!

JADE: but id be more than happy to talk about them if youd like. actually i would enjoy that because i never really get to talk about science wi...

JOHN: no, i don't want to talk about physics! i don't know anything about the laws of physics, because they are hard and boring.

JOHN: i simply would like them to behave in a way that is most convenient to ME and MY LIFE! is that really asking too much?

JADE: yes as a matter of fact it is!

JOHN: well, guess what? SCIENCE IS STUPID BULLSHIT!!!

JADE: you take that back!!!!!

JOHN: no.

JOHN: magic is awesome.

JOHN: science blows.

JOHN: the end.

JADE: john.....

JADE: what is that?

JOHN: what?

JADE: under your hood...

JADE: looks like a piece of paper stuck to your back?

JOHN: huh?

JOHN: oh god dammit.

JOHN: STRIIIIIIDEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!

JOHN: THAT BASTARD!!!

JADE: what?

JOHN: THIS IS TOTALLY OUTRAGEOUS.

JADE: what is it??

JOHN: I WILL TELL YOU WHAT IT IS.

JOHN: IT IS THE LAST FUCKING STRAW!!!

JOHN: RAAARARRAAUUUAAAAUUAGHGHGGHGGGGHHGH!

JADE: where are you going?

JOHN: I'M GOING TO GO KICK HIS ASS!

JADE: what! john, no...

JOHN: POSING AS MY DEAD FATHER BY MIMICKING ONE OF HIS GREAT FATHERLY NOTES HE USED TO HIDE AROUND THE HOUSE???

JOHN: AND ON THE TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY HE WAS SLAIN BY JACK NOIR, A *FACT* OF WHICH THAT CHEEKY ORANGE ASSHOLE IS PLAINLY AWARE??????

JOHN: THIS IS A NEW LOW, EVEN FOR DAVE SPRITE!

JADE: ok yes, that practical joke is in poor taste, but you should try to calm down and...

JOHN: NO, SCREW THAT, I AM SUPER PISSED OFF ABOUT THIS!

JOHN: THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO SETTLE THIS, AND THAT IS WITH AN OLD FASHIONED BEATDOWN.

JOHN: WHERE'S MY HAMMER!!!!!

JADE: um

JADE: which one?

JOHN: ANY OLD HAMMER!

JOHN: WHATEVER. IT COULD BE A HAMMER FROM THE BARGAIN BIN OF A HARDWARE STORE FOR ALL I CARE.

JOHN: JUST GIVE ME ANYTHING THAT'S FIT FOR CLOBBERING A GHOST BOTTOMED DICK FACE WHO'S ALSO A BIRD.

JADE: sigh

JOHN: I'M COMING FOR YOU, DAVE SPRITE!

JOHN: DO YOU HEAR ME, YOU MAGICAL SON OF A BITCH? I KNOW YOU CAN HEAR ME!

JOHN: THAT STUNT WASN'T COOL! *YOU'RE* NOT COOL!

JOHN: LIKE IT WASN'T BAD ENOUGH YOU DUMPED JADE FOR NO REASON. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU!

JOHN: YOU AND JADE WERE OUR ROCK ON THIS SHIP! YOU HEAR ME?? OUR ROOOOOOOOCK!!!

JADE: :|

JOHN: AND NOW *THIS* BULLSHIT??? WHAT THE HELL, MAN.

JOHN: I DON'T GO AROUND LEAVING FAKE PUZZLES FOR YOU LIKE FROM THE MOVIE SAW, DO I? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ME SAY I WANT TO PLAY A GAME EVEN *ONCE*?? WELL, HAVE YOU????

JOHN: NO, BECAUSE THAT WOULD STIR UP PAINFUL MEMORIES OF A DEARLY DEPARTED LOVED ONE, AND THEREFORE WOULD BE UNBELIEVABLY SHITTY OF ME!!!!!!!!

JOHN: HEY! I SEE YOU THERE!

JOHN: GET DOWN FROM THERE RIGHT NOW, WISE GUY!

JOHN: OH NO, DON'T PLAY DUMB. I CAN SEE YOU PLAIN AS DAY. I'M ON TO YOU, BUDDY.

JOHN: STOP VAGUELY WATERMARKING THE SKY WITH YOUR SMUG DOUCHEY FACE THIS INSTANT AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!!!

JOHN: YEAH SURE, LAUGH IT UP! THAT MAKES YOU SEEM LIKE WAY LESS OF A TOOL. NICE GOING BRO!

JOHN: EVERYONE ON THIS BOAT IS SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR BULLSHIT! WHY DON'T YOU JUST FLY AWAY AND LEAVE US ALONE?

JOHN: HOW CAN YOU BE SO MUCH MORE OF A PRICK THAN THE REAL DAVE? YOU ARE THE MOST PISS POOR SUBSTITUTE FOR A BEST FRIEND A GUY EVER HAD.

JOHN: I CAN'T *WAIT* TO MEET UP WITH THE REAL DAVE AGAIN. THAT WAY WE CAN ALL GO BACK TO THE AWESOME STATUS QUO OF PRETENDING YOU NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE!

JADE: john...

JADE: theres no one there

JOHN: oh he's THERE alright.

JOHN: he's probably just using some sprite magic so only i can see him.

JOHN: don't you see, jade? he's antagonizing ME PERSONALLY, not you. he's done with you, remember?

JOHN: he already used you like a rented mule, and now he is moving on to greener pastures.

JADE: what pastures

JOHN: it's me.

JOHN: I'M the pastures.

JOHN: and now his mule is grazing all over them, while he has a good laugh.

JADE: what

JADE: wasnt i supposed to be the mule?

JADE: i dont think i understand your analogy

JOHN: no, you see, it's...

JOHN: the mule represented, like...

JOHN: i don't know, like the spirit animal of his douchey ways. or something.

JADE: ....

JOHN: augh, WHO CAAARES.

JOHN: who cares about mules, or pastures, or dave sprite's stupid ephemeral sky visage.

JOHN: who cares about anything!!!

JOHN: who cares about my birthday, or nic cage, or this boat full of idiots.

JOHN: JUST.

JOHN: WHO.

JOHN: CARES.

JADE: john i think youre officially throwing a tantrum here

JADE: ...

JADE: john?

JADE: john...

JADE: are you asleep?

JADE: please dont tell me you just fell asleep in your driveway

[purplesimmer455]

Meanwhile, Hamuera’s new friend/romantic interest Mateo came over. He hugged Hamuera and Hamuera blushed as Mateo pushed a lock of stray hair off his forehead and leaned in. Chrissy came downstairs just then, and Mateo and Hamuera jumped back from each other. Hamuera grumbled good naturedly, he loved his mama but he wished she hadn't interrupted because maybe Mateo might've kissed him and he was ready. “Hey nooboo.” Chrissy said, and Hamuera blushed as Mateo grinned. “Who’s this?” She asked raising her brow. “My um, my friend Mateo Iqbal.” Hamuera added. “It’s nice to meet you, ma’am.” Mateo said in his southern Chestnut Ridge accent that made Hamuera feel all swoony, sticking his hand out for Chrissy to shake. She did so, looking impressed and Hamuera grinned. “Well, come on in.” Chrissy said, and she led him and Hamuera into the living room.

In the backyard, Cam had come over and when Chrissy told her Piper was asleep, she hung out with Piper’s mom Luna. Luna talked to her about fabricating stuff using the robot arm tool at the community center, and Cam grinned as Luna jokingly mimicked it's movements as it would build things. "So, how are you and my daughter doing?" Luna asked casually. Cam smiled softly. "We're good, Mrs. F. I really really like her." Luna smiled. "Good, but as her mom I'm obligated to let you know that if you hurt her, I might have to hex you." Cam laughed and Luna grinned. "Don't worry, I'd never do anything to hurt Pipes." She added seriously, her brown eyes looking into Luna’s amber ones. Luna nodded, and she smiled again. "You're so good for her, Cam, and I'm happy you make her happy and that she's so glowy and confident partly because of you." She said, and Cam looked slightly bashful but grinned. "Plus, she's always mooning around being like Cam this and Cam that, and Cam’s hair and arms and jawline and such." Luna laughed and then covered her mouth. "Oh shoot. She's going to be so mad at me for telling you." Cam’s eyes sparkled mischievously. "No, it's fine Mrs. F." She said, storing away the information so she could lovingly tease Piper with it later.

Meanwhile in Piper’s room (while she was napping), Emily talked to her mom and kept sighing. "What's the matter, nooboo?" Megan asked quietly in Mandarin (she wants all her kids to keep in touch with their culture and language so she tries to speak Mandarin and Simlish both). "It's just-how can a sim be so cute?" Emily said. Megan sat up straight. "Oh, okay. So who is this sim?" Emily blushed. "Cam. Well Cam, and Vikram, and Kiran but Cam currently because I saw her in the backyard with auntie Luna and my heart felt like it was beating weirdly. Ugh, why does my brain have to like her face?" Megan’s eyes widened. "Okay, nooboo." She said. She suspected Emily might be crushing on Cam, and thought it was kind of cute, but didn't know about the other two sims. "Vikram as in Piper’s best friend Darren's boyfriend?" Emily nodded, looking sheepish. "I don't want to crush on him either but he's cute and my brain is in that dumb crush mode." She said. "And Kiran?" Emily blushed. "They're my classmate, and they're funny and cute and have blue hair." She sighed again. "Mom, how do you even deal with crushes? I mean I keep getting these annoying fluttery feelings and I don't want to be distracted from soccer or horseback riding lessons or hanging out with my friends." Megan smiled. “Honestly Emmy, sometimes they just happen and that’s okay too.” Emily groaned playfully. “So I’ll have to keep having these feelings?” She asked. “Yup.” Megan tried not to smile at the horrified expression on her daughter’s face. “So, do you think you’re pansexual, or queer?” She asked gently. “Pan.” Emily said, twisting the friendship bracelet on her right wrist and blushing. “Just like mama.” She added. Megan smiled. “That’s great, nooboo. But still, no dating until you’re 14 and your mama and I meet the person.” She added sternly. “Mom, honestly.” Emily said, but she smiled.

[rivstyx]

well, that sure was a film

spoilers under the cut!

okay first of all i'm never going to feel bad about the contrivances of my fic plots ever again!

my questions and random thoughts:

where the hell is ahkmenrah

no, seriously, where the FUCK did he go

what timeline is this supposed to follow

where'd joan come from?

electric guitars don't go in high school jazz bands

what qualifies larry to be a museum director

did we replace lewis and clark with teddy and wea's horses? because i'm actually okay with that

jed's new voice actor sounds like he's doing a really shitty owen wilson impression instead of just voicing the character

also, i really wish they hadn't made jed act like an idiot for two reasons: 1. he's not that fuckin dumb in the first three movies, and 2. i'm sick of people with southern accents/rural/country people in general being portrayed as morons. you can be smart and talk with a drawl :sigh:

the cat was good but the squirrel was funnier

kahmunrah literally only exists in this movie to get bullied and i love that for him

no but really if we're gonna go so hard on his daddy issues, why is ahkmenrah not in this movie. he's literally the whole catalyst for All of that shit

not that he deserves it, but seriously there was so much potential for including his character there

what do y'all think?

[nickeverdeen]

Nickname: Anni or Annie

Fandom: Hunger Games! (please, tysm!)

Sexuality: Straight.....I think- (so male match ig)

Zodiac signs: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality type: Entp

Pronouns: She/her

So lets see here a little bit about my appearance.....I am very petite and I won't lie i'm about 5'3.....maybe 5'4 on a good day. I also have thick brown hair that goes down to lower mid back and if you are ever around me you'll hear me get frustrated with my hair and i'll say something like "I AM GOING TO CUT OFF ALL OF MY HAIR, I SWEAR!" but for now I am keeping it how it is lmao. I also have brown eyes and lots of freckles on my face, my freckles are one of my most liked features about myself lol. Lastly for my style.....I have none. I like Adidas so I'll wear Adidas jackets and sporty stuff and besides that I just wear normal t-shirts and what not lol. Although flannels....absolutely lovely. I love flannels and combat boots....

My personality can be a bit rocky at first. Sometimes I just won't like someone for no reason, I can't explain why but I just won't like them idk. But overall i'm an extrovert, I just dislike people sometimes lmao but nonetheless my social skills are fine and I make new friends ridiculously easy. I do have a resting bitch face though so it does make people nervous when first meeting me but I promise I am not that bad.

When you really get down to who I actually am I am a big asshole who just happens to be a big goofball as well. I am extremely sarcastic, almost to a fault and I will sometimes rag on people in a teasing way. I also do dumb stuff like climbing and falling out of trees, tripping over air, falling up the stairs, etc. Also being reckless doesn't help either. But I have a very strong "I don't care" attitude and I am very blunt and brash when I get angry or in general sometimes, I also struggle with emotions like I hate talking about feelings so I suck at that stuff. But seriously I cannot talk about my feelings like at all, i'll kinda hold it all in and being vulnerable or talking about emotions make me anxious and super uncomfortable. BUT besides that I am very bold and prideful but I can be very caring when I want to be around certain people and I'd do anything for my friends and people I'm close to.

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting. I also have lots of intrusive thoughts lol so sometimes i'll just be sitting there quietly and I'll just start laughing like a weirdo......i'm a big dork honestly. I also do that weird thing where i'm sitting down and I'll just be bouncing my leg....idk why I do it....I just do....and I also run my fingers through my hair a lot, thats why its always messy. Sometimes when i'm bored I space out and i'll chew on my lip or the side of gum...I need to stop I know but its hard to....

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 10 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 90's rock or any like grunge or alt, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lincoln Park, Pearl jam, Deftones but i'm pretty open to anything, I also have a soft spot for some good 80's rock too......I started taking martial arts so hehe that's kinda cool...I can do cool body locks and I know a lot of good pressure points to use against someone, I can also throw people ober my shoulder so that's cool

Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider....like seriously I will move to the moon if one touches me. I also tend to be more irritable around people lately so I dislike people right now......

--

(I apologize if this is super long...I can shorten it if you'd like-)

No need to shorten it and thanks 🫶

Also may I ask what type of material arts are you doing?

————————————————————

Your Hunger Games match is…

Gale Hawthrone

(No hate on him here please)

Jokes about how short you are and how tall he is

(You ain’t short, trust me)

He is pretty introverted so people seeing him date an extrovert is a suprise

He doesn’t really care what others think, though

Gale at first thought he did something weong when he saw your resting face

Jokes like “you can be scary” or “remind me not to get on your bad side”

Laughs at you when tripping over an air or falling up the stairs plus falling down on trees

Helps you and makes sure you’re okay, though

Teases you about it later 100%

Gale isn’t that type of a person to talk about feelings in general

Jokes about the fact that your words sound very country and southern

Runs his own hand through your hair

Compliments your franckless on your face

There aren’t many places where to swim in District 12 so he’d try to find some river at least

Watches the rain with you

Gale isn’t a big fan of horror movies so he probably wouldn’t want to watch them with you

But he does like your music taste

Plays your favourite songs when you’re home alone

Says how cool it is that you know material arts

Maybe feel free to teach him some of it

Teases you about your arachnophobia

(Fear of spiders)

Sometimes like a kid he’d bring it up to you

Constant flirting

Most of the girls in the District are very jealous that you get to date the hottest boy that in the District is

(Sorry Peeta)

Random rambeling about leaving the District and about the future

Hunting with him may be hell ‘cause of his taunting and teasing about it (not in a bad way)

Gale can’t hunt himself so you can tease him about that

Ruffles your hair sometimes to annoy you or just for fun

He is a very protective boyfriend

Treats you like his best friend, but also like his whole world

Hopes you understand his actions and meanings behind them

Beats up Peacekeepers to just keep you safe

Gale is willing to die for you or get tortured

[sinnful-darling]

Nickname: Anni or Annie

Fandoms: Creepypasta, Creepypasta oc

Sexuality: Straight.....I think-

Zodiac signs: Leo sun, Aries moon, Leo rising

Personality type: Entp

Pronouns: She/her

So lets see here a little bit about my appearance.....I am very petite and I won't lie i'm about 5'3.....maybe 5'4 on a good day. I also have thick brown hair that goes down to lower mid back and if you are ever around me you'll hear me get frustrated with my hair and i'll say something like "I AM GOING TO CUT OFF ALL OF MY HAIR, I SWEAR!" but for now I am keeping it how it is lmao. I also have brown eyes and lots of freckles on my face, my freckles are one of my most liked features about myself lol. Lastly for my style.....I have none. I like Adidas so I'll wear Adidas jackets and sporty stuff and besides that I just wear normal t-shirts and what not lol. Although flannels....absolutely lovely. I love flannels and combat boots....

My personality can be a bit rocky at first. Sometimes I just won't like someone for no reason, I can't explain why but I just won't like them idk. But overall i'm an extrovert, I just dislike people sometimes lmao but nonetheless my social skills are fine and I make new friends ridiculously easy. I do have a resting bitch face though so it does make people nervous when first meeting me but I promise I am not that bad.

When you really get down to who I actually am I am a big asshole who just happens to be a big goofball as well. I am extremely sarcastic, almost to a fault and I will sometimes rag on people in a teasing way. I also do dumb stuff like climbing and falling out of trees, tripping over air, falling up the stairs, etc. Also being reckless doesn't help either. But I have a very strong "I don't care" attitude and I am very blunt and brash when I get angry or in general sometimes, I also struggle with emotions like I hate talking about feelings so I suck at that stuff. But seriously I cannot talk about my feelings like at all, i'll kinda hold it all in and being vulnerable or talking about emotions make me anxious and super uncomfortable. BUT besides that I am very bold and prideful but I can be very caring when I want to be around certain people and I'd do anything for my friends and people I'm close to.

Weird things about me: I've grown up in the south all my life so sometimes when I talk a few words they'll come out sounding WAYYY more country and southern then I wanted, I don't have an accent but sometimes my words just come out that way. I also love the smell of cigarette smoke....let me explain. When I was a kid my parents smoked a lot and I was used to smelling it and now it reminds me of home and is sort of comforting. I also have lots of intrusive thoughts lol so sometimes i'll just be sitting there quietly and I'll just start laughing like a weirdo......i'm a big dork honestly. I also do that weird thing where i'm sitting down and I'll just be bouncing my leg....idk why I do it....I just do....and I also run my fingers through my hair a lot, thats why its always messy. Sometimes when i'm bored I space out and i'll chew on my lip or the side of gum...I need to stop I know but its hard to....

Things I like: I love swimming (I was on a swim team for about 10 years), I love horror movies, I like rain and the sounds of thunderstorms because its calming to me, I also love the smell of rain, I like cloudy days, cooking, listening to 90's rock or any like grunge or alt, My favorite bands are Bush, Audioslave, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Lincoln Park, Pearl jam, Deftones but i'm pretty open to anything, I also have a soft spot for some good 80's rock too......I started taking martial arts so hehe that's kinda cool...I can do cool body locks and I know a lot of good pressure points to use against someone....also learning how to throw someone over my shoulder at the moment so don't mess with me!

Things I dislike: Spiders.......I will scream if I see a spider....like seriously I will move to the moon if one touches me.

--

i match you with:

creepypasta: hoodie or eyeless jack

my crp ocs: miles aka the wraith

i hope you like the results!!

hoodie hcs:

hoodie would really like how outgoing you are and would also find your clumsiness a bit funny to watch

initially, he would just think of you as another killer he has to deal with, but as time goes on and you patching him up/giving him some tough love, his feelings for you would change

hoodie wouldn't be one to fall fast, but more of a slow-burn kind of romance

he finds your sarcasm refreshing and similar to his own humor, so he quite likes that about you

hoodie also likes that you're from the south as well!

the more you two link up for missions and the like, hoodie finds himself enjoying your presence more and more, seeking you out outside of business matters

"Ma would make the best apple pie..."

hoodie is the most normal among the proxies, so i feel like he'd also be the most healthy partner

he'd be into stargazing and washing your back in the shower, reading to you and making small gifts for you out of wood chunks he finds in the woods

hoodie likes that you're confident and can handle yourself but in moments of anxiety and the like, he'll ground you by rubbing his thumb across the skin of your hand or letting you play with his fingers.

hoodie, i think, would also be quite fond of horror movies so be prepared to watch a bunch when you guys don't have missions!

i feel like you and hoodie have similar interests as well, so the two of you would be listening to music while cooking

he's also not very touchy, but i don't think he'd mind you curling up in his lap or holding his hand- so long as it doesn't interfere with work.

he does sometimes like to scare you so watch out!

eyeless jack hcs:

eyeless jack is also a good match for you because I feel like he would enjoy listening to you talk about your interests.

at first, you were just another person for him to patch up, but the more you came to see him, the more he started to talk to you and open up.

"Back again?"

EJ would find the differences in your personalities refreshing.

He's more introverted- a listener at heart. He usually would find most extroverts loud and annoying but you knew when to stop and give him space; he decided he liked you because of that.

He would be right under hoodie on the healthier side of partners but is a bit emotionally underdeveloped.

After the accident, he lost most of his emotions and the ability to deal with them as well. He would try his best to comfort you, but it would be more of a psychological approach.

I think EJ would realize he has feelings for you when during a thunderstorm, he sought you out.

His hearing was heightened after the incident, so the loud noises are hard on him and it also brings back trauma he doesn't want to deal with :((

When he comes to you and you comfort him, accommodating his needs and being there for him, he realizes that he's in love with you

He's definitely a cuddle bug, but emits a ton of heat so it might get toooo hot under the covers.

Ej is super protective of you btw! He doesn't like seeing you get hurt but knows you can handle yourself.

EJ is the type to take you out on walks in the forest and show you cool plants. He's also the type to bring you back pretty rocks.

EJ is a really good match for you tbh.

The Wraith (Miles Hernandez):

You'd be a good match for Miles because of your personality!

Miles is a big goof despite his appearance; just because he died doesn't mean his true personality went away :)

When he was alive, he loved reading romance novels so prepare to have the most cliche tropes happening in real life!

Miles loves that you enjoy the rain as much as he does and will make you dance in the rain with him.

He's very observant and caring, so expect to be babied a bit when you need comfort. He'll make sure you have everything you need and take care of you as much as you'll allow.

Miles is a romantic at heart, so I think he'd fall for you relatively fast.

Maybe you were going to be his dinner but found you interesting and ate someone else, or maybe you bumped into him on the street, but one way or the other the two of you became friends.

Miles loves loves LOVES your sarcastic side. He thinks it's so funny and is actually a bit sarcastic himself.

He doesn't like you seeing him eat, so he'll eat separately from you, but he will cook for you when you're hungry!

Miles realized he was in love with you when he found himself having thoughts of what it would be like to marry you.

"Maybe a cottage in the woods would do nicely..."

You'd be a good match for Miles because of your personality!

Miles is a big goof despite his appearance; just because he died doesn't mean his true personality went away :)

When he was alive, he loved reading romance novels so prepare to have the most cliche tropes happening in real life!

Miles loves that you enjoy the rain as much as he does and will make you dance in the rain with him.

He's very observant and caring, so expect to be babied a bit when you need comfort. He'll make sure you have everything you need and take care of you as much as you'll allow.

Miles is a romantic at heart, so I think he'd fall for you relatively fast.

Maybe you were going to be his dinner but found you interesting and ate someone else, or maybe you bumped into him on the street, but one way or the other the two of you became friends.

Miles loves loves LOVES your sarcastic side. He thinks it's so funny and is actually a bit sarcastic himself.

He doesn't like you seeing him eat, so he'll eat separately from you, but he will cook for you when you're hungry!

Miles realized he was in love with you when he found himself having thoughts of what it would be like to marry you.

"Maybe a cottage in the woods would do nicely..."