#the lunar chronicles fanfiction

[impossiblesuitcase]

Lilac and Gold and You

Cinder knew something was wrong from the moment Cress came barrelling through the door. 

“Cinder!” she cried, launching into her with a hug. Cinder stumbled under her weight, hands jumping up to secure Cress by her shoulders.

“Hey, Cress,” she greeted, albeit uncertainly. Cress was known for her ecstatic embraces at reunions after a long time apart. Except, it hadn’t been long since she last saw Cress and Thorne.

Over Cress’s head, she watched Thorne enter, face pale and eyes ringed with dark purple bags. 

“Hey, Captain,” she called. “You look like crap.”

Thorne sarcastically blew her a kiss, but his dead-eyed blankness stole his usual charm. “Likewise, Cindy.”

A testament to his physical state was his rumpled clothes and unkempt hair; it was unlike Thorne to be anything but spruce and well-dressed. This was one of the only times Cinder actually felt like she’d put more effort into her outfit than him, even with the simple jeans and lavender t-shirt she’d chucked on after finishing work. 

Chuckling, Cinder disentangled herself from his wife—a surprising struggle as Cress’s delicate fingers had a steel lock around her—and met Thorne by the door. His hug was much less confining.

Kai left his glass on the kitchen bench and pulled Cress into an embrace. She reciprocated, but her eyes stayed trained on Cinder. “How are you both feeling?” he asked, voice tinged with concern.

Groaning, Thorne ran a hand through his hair. “Like we’ve been throwing up for four days straight. I’ll let you figure out that mental picture.”

In unison, Cinder and Kai cringed. A week ago, they, Cress, Thorne and the rest of the Rampion Crew were together in the American Republic for a state dinner ‘honouring heroes of the revolution.’ Cinder and Kai were well-versed in such formal dull dinners, being the emperor and empress of the Eastern Commonwealth. Winter, who was also accustomed to public attention as a former princess and current ambassador, was likewise willing to attend—along with Iko, who loved a party. The rest of the crew were a tad more hesitant. Media spotlight was an unfortunate unavoidable byproduct of their roles in the revolution. Even Thorne, who generally basked in acclaim, grew a little tired of it as the years continued and his initially distant adoring fans became fanatical, showing up at his grocery runs and doctors’ appointments.

But, with nine of them each busy with their own packed schedule, an opportunity to reunite was rare and not to be squandered. So they all fancied themselves up, sat through the speeches and camera flashes and questions, and once it was over, they had the rest of the week together, with Wolf to scare off the incessant paparazzi by bearing his canines.

But—given that Thorne barely returned to his native country anymore—the highly publicised event was prime opportunity for his parents to snatch him and Cress up for a ‘family’ dinner. To Thorne’s dismay, Cress felt strongly that they should at least try to be diplomatic with his parents and convinced him to agree. So at the end of the week, everyone returned to their respective countries while Thorne and Cress begrudgingly went to dinner with his parents. A dinner in which they got food poisoning.

They had been due this week on Luna for a conference that Cress had been selected to panel for the rights of ungifted Lunars across the universe. Naturally with their maladies they had to bail—much to Cress’s disappointment. Thus, when Cinder mentioned that one of the lead panellists would be staying in New Beijing Palace for a handful of days, Cress begged her to let them stay so she could meet him and demonstrate the 38-slide presentation she had prepared.

Today was Friday, and the panellist would be staying until Monday, so Cinder had hoped that that would be just enough time for the couple to recover enough to return to society. But, glancing between the two of them, Cinder could tell that Cress had fared much better than Thorne. Her face was rosy and nowhere near as pale, her hair was in a neat ponytail and her simple floral daydress was unwrinkled and clean.

“You thirsty?” Cinder asked, making her way into the kitchen and plucking two glasses from the cupboard.

“Yes!” Cress said quickly, claiming a kitchen stool. “Water, please.”

“And Thorne, for you? A whisky?”

He just about turned green. “Don’t do that to me, Cinder. I thought alcohol would help. As of my experiment with a nip of scotch five days ago”—he pinched his fingers, mimicking how minuscule it was—“the conclusion is no. Perfectly good liquor down the toilet.”

“Love, why don’t you make him your mother’s remedy?” Cinder suggested to Kai, who was standing behind the bench arranging a tray of plain crackers and mooncakes. “The stomach bug one?”

His eyes flashed with recognition. “Oh, right! Seriously man, this stuff is the best. You’ll be fixed in no time.” And though it wasn’t a fair comparison, Cinder noticed how Thorne’s bedraggled state amplified just how handsome Kai looked in his simple pale yellow shirt and black jeans. Then, berating herself, she shook her head to clear it, confused by the intrusion of the random thought. Okay, she knew her husband was attractive, but normally her mind wasn’t so quick to go judging her friends in comparison. 

“Great,” Thorne responded, flopping dramatically onto the couch.

Chuckling, Cinder passed Cress the glass of water, who immediately chugged it down. Wiping her arm on her sleeve, she pushed it forward. “Could I have some more, please?”

She obliged, but not without a strange look. “You must be dehydrated.”

“What?”

“From all the vomiting.”

Cress stared at her with a look of total confusion, as if Cinder had just catapulted from the moon. “Oh,” she said finally. “Not really. I mean, we both stopped puking three days ago. We’ve actually been recovering okay.”

Cinder darted another look at Thorne as he wallowed face down into a cushion. “Are you sure? Thorne looks ready to start divvying up his will.”

“Oh, you know how he gets with stomach things. He’s always been a bit dramatic when tummy bugs are involved,” Cress replied, but she sounded distracted, eyes flitting in all directions.

When she passed the refilled glass back to her, she gulped that down just as quickly as the first.

Cinder crossed her arms. Sure, Cress had her quirks and oddities—only natural for someone who grew up alone in outer space—but even this behaviour was bizarre, and intuition told Cinder that this wasn’t just a strange symptom of the food poisoning. The guzzling down water was suspicious enough, but Cinder couldn’t really take that as concrete proof of anything; she herself had been feeling unusually thirsty lately. Perhaps it was the humidity.

Narrowing her eyes, Cinder watched Cress gulp and planted her hands on the bench.

“Cress, do you want to talk—”

“—Could we talk for a second?” Cress rattled out in the same instant, then froze as their words overlapped. She gave a vigorous, seizure-like nod. “Yeah—yeah—um, let’s go to your room.”

And without waiting for Cinder, she made a beeline for the hallway.

Kai—humming away and seemingly too busy in his brewing to notice the weirdness—brushed past Cinder as he rummaged through drawers. He gently took her by the shoulders and moved her aside, reaching into the cupboard she was blocking with an, “Excuse me, love.”

In a swift motion, Cinder stayed his wrist and said in a low voice, “I’m on girl duty. Can you babysit Thorne?”

As another exaggerated groan sounded from the couch, Kai sent her an almost panicked look. “What? Why do I have to—”

“You’re the best, love you!” Kissing him quickly, she sped off after Cress.

———

Reaching the bedroom she shared with Kai, Cinder found Cress pacing a hole in the floor. Relief rushed through her for making the bed that morning and that Kai had picked up their clothes from the bathroom floor to run through the washing machine, because they hadn’t actually been expecting guests in their room. Ordinarily, Cress and Thorne stayed in the guest bedroom down the hall. But Cinder wasn’t going to berate Cress, who was clearly experiencing some sort of existential crisis.

Closing the door behind her, Cinder approached with caution. “Okay—what’s up? You’re acting like you’re the one who poisoned Thorne.”

Cress froze in place to emit a shocked, “What! I didn’t—I wouldn’t—”

“Cress,” Cinder laughed, holding up her hands in a mollifying gesture. “Stars, are you okay? I haven’t seen you act this weird since that first vid comm on the satellite.”

Much like that frazzled sixteen-year-old girl, Cress was unable to keep tears from brimming in her eyes.

Guilt instantly swept over her for acting so flippant. Cinder rushed over with a “whoa, whoa, what’s wrong?” as she wrapped her arms around her.

But Cress breathed deeply, dried her eyes and extricated herself from her. “I think I’m pregnant.”

Cinder blinked. Once, twice, three times.

“Okay…and that’s…bad? Good?”

Resuming her pacing, Cress clawed her hands through her hair. “I don’t know! I mean it’s not bad, but I’m not prepared for this and Carswell isn’t prepared for this and we don’t even have a house! We just moved out of our London apartment so he could do this new transport job around the world and that’s fine because we have the Rampion! We can live on the Rampion full time—but not with a baby!” she rambled, barely pausing to breathe.

“Cress—”

“And I know he wouldn’t be mad at me, I mean—we’ve talked about having kids someday, but not to-day! I’m only twenty-six for stars’ sake—I’m too young to be a mother!” 

Cinder chuckled dryly. “Well, that bodes well for me, considering we’re the same age.”

Realising her mistake, Cress latched onto her arms, eyes imploring. “No, no, no, I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant at all. You and Kai will make amazing parents. You’re both so much more mature and settled than we are; you’ve been married way longer. You’re going to make a wonderful mother.���

Awkwardly, Cinder mumbled a “thanks.” When she and Kai had decided to start trying for a baby a year ago, she’d had to reassure herself of those exact things too. That they were mature, they were settled, they’d been married five years. They would make good parents.

But, as a year had come and gone with never a second line on those infuriating white sticks, her optimism was wearing thin.

Pulling away, Cress rubbed her eyes with her fists. “You have pregnancy tests, right? Can I use one?”

She began to nod, thoughts swarming as Cress sped off into her bathroom. “Hang on,” she called after her, “why do you think you’re pregnant?”

Haphazardly throwing open cupboards and drawers under the sink, Cress listed, “I’m tired, my eye has been twitching, I’ve been throwing up—you know, morning sickness, and—”

“Cress,” Cinder cut her off. “You had food poisoning. So did Thorne.”

She hovered her hands close to her face, gesticulating aimlessly. “Yes, but I was feeling nauseated before that meal.”

“Yeah, you told me that you were nervous,” Cinder chided, raising an eyebrow, “are you sure that wasn’t anxiety?”

Unconvinced, Cress simply stated, “My period is late.”

A sigh. “Okay then. But I don’t think you’re pregnant.”

“Don’t say that—you’ll jinx it!”

Ignoring her, Cinder crossed the bathroom—large and voguish with its ornate marble bathtub and overhanging chandelier and mosaic-tiled shower with about fifty different temperature settings—and squatted down in front of the long sideboard by the towel rack. Architectural magazines had begged to have an exclusive look into the “swanky bathroom fit for an emperor and empress,” but in truth, Cinder and Kai weren’t the best at keeping it tidy, transforming—as Iko put it—a “palatial Roman bathhouse into a fast food joint’s restroom.” 

As Cinder pulled a box of pregnancy tests from the shelf, Cress came behind her and peeked inside. “Whoa,” she muttered, and began fossicking through the dozen boxes, stacking them all up in her arms.

“Cress, you don’t need that many,” said Cinder, grabbing two off the top before they toppled onto her head.

The tower teetered precariously as Cress blindly carried it to the benchtop. “I’m not taking any chances. If I take multiple tests from different brands it will cover all bases.” At ten boxes high, Cinder thought this was extremely overkill. Then, remembering they belonged to her, she realised who really was overkill.

In truth, she couldn’t argue with Cress’s logic, because that was the exact reasoning she’d been using this entire year. When the first few months of tests persisted in coming back negative, she decided to switch brands. And again. And again. And then when that produced no results, she began trying more expensive ones that promised the earliest results, and then taking tests morning and night just in case her hGC levels increased over the day. She was in the habit of shoving the boxes in the back of the cupboard, ignoring how they were piling up, until Kai had gently suggested that this was making her more than a little stir crazy.

Although it was hard to agree at first, Cinder trusted her husband, and so for the last three months, she’d stopped taking tests entirely. Now, with some distance from that routine of manic testing, she could see how obsessed she had become, and how Cress was now equally as frantic.

Cress scanned over the labels on all ten boxes, picking out the ones that promised the highest accuracy and earliest results. Some of the pricier tests on the market were even more thorough—some would give you results in ten seconds, or tell you the sex of the baby or even tell you your exact gestational progress in weeks and days. But all that felt too overwhelming, so she opted for the traditional tests; a three-minute timer, pregnant or not. 

When she pulled out four tests, Cinder laughed and tossed one back in its box. “I don’t think you’ll have enough urine for that many.”

“Why do you think I was drinking all that water?” Cress argued, reaching for it again.

She locked her grip on the box, drawing Cress’s gaze to her. “Two is enough, trust me.”

Reluctantly, she pressed the third test into her hand. “Okay.” 

As Cinder took it, she felt Cress’s fingers tremble. “Hey. It’s going to be okay. If you are pregnant, it’s not the end of the world. You and Thorne are good people. I’m certain you could handle some adorable crying snotbag running around. I mean—you’re both great with Scarlet and Wolf’s kids.”

Biting her lip, she nodded. “I know, I know. We’d be okay. I just…tend to freak out sometimes, if you hadn’t noticed.”

At Cinder’s deadpan, Cress laughed shakily. “Okay: everyone knows how I freak out sometimes.” 

As Cress tore the wrappers off the two tests, Cinder couldn’t help clutching the one in her hand tighter. She’d been intentionally blocking out thoughts of pregnancy and motherhood and all its wonders and gross parts for the past three months. The reminder of an adorable crying snotbag sent a surge of complicated feelings through her.

Before Cress walked to the adjoining toilet closet, Cinder stopped her. “If it makes you feel better, I can take one too. We can think of this like…I don’t know, a girly activity? So there’s less pressure?”

Despite Cinder feeling herself cringe at the absurdity of her words, Cress’s eyes welled up again with tears. “Yes, thank you!”

About five minutes later, the three tests—Cress’s to the right and Cinder’s to the left—were laid out on the bench, screens displaying a loading bar. Having taken her test after Cress, they both concentrated on the two on the right.

“No matter what happens, it’s going to be okay,” Cinder promised.

A too-quick nod. “Right. Right. Besides, a little version of Carswell would be super cute.”

Her nose wrinkled. “Let’s hope the kid inherits your personality, though.”

Cress laughed, but her hands were cupping her cheeks as if squeezing the breath out of her. She spun around. “Oh, I can’t look at them. Are the three minutes up?”

“Ten seconds,” answered Cinder, watching the timer on her retina display.

“This is unbearable!” she moaned. “How do you do this every month?!”

Sighing, Cinder rubbed at her forearm. This is why I stopped.

The timer flashed to 00:00 in her eye. “It’s ready, Cress.”

Squeezing her eyes shut, Cress squeaked. “I can’t look! What does it say?”

Peering over at the bench, Cinder felt not an ounce of surprise as the two tests flashed up at her, not pregnant.

“Negative.”

Whipping around, Cress lunged at the sticks, holding them up as if to confirm that they were real. “Stars,” she whispered, and slumped against the bench, the tests clattering onto the marble as they slipped from her hands.

“Food poisoning,” noted Cinder, laughing.

For the umpteenth time, Cress attacked Cinder with a hug, in the process knocking over the stack of boxes with her elbow. 

“Thank you, thank you!”

Cinder couldn’t reel in her chortle. “For what?”

“For putting up with my freaking out,” Cress meekly supplied.

Gazing down at her, Cinder fondly messed her hair. “Cress, that’s the first requirement of being your friend.”

———

When Cinder returned to the kitchen, she found Thorne miraculously upright, perched on a kitchen stool and chatting with Kai.

“Wow! He lives!” she quipped.

Rather than return her sarcasm, Thorne sighed in relief. “I feel reborn. That drink truly is a miracle cure.”

Kai sat on the stool beside him, sipping a drink out of a coffee glass exactly the same shade of green as Thorne’s. Cinder wrapped her arms around his waist, catching a whiff of the beverage’s aroma.

She frowned and whispered, “That doesn’t smell anything like your mother’s recipe.”

Winking at her, Kai replied in a low voice. “No. It’s just green tea with some spices in it. We didn’t have all the ingredients for the remedy. But I think the placebo effect is just as potent.”

Sharing a glance at Thorne, who was obliviously sipping away at the tea, they shared a conspiratorial grin.

Cress burst into the room. “Carswell!”

He barely managed to set down his glass in time to catch her as she pressed a firm kiss to his lips.

“Whoa,” he chuckled. “Is it my new cologne?”

Eyes alight, she said, “I’m not pregnant.”

His eyebrows flew up. “I didn’t think you were, sweetheart.”

“Yes, but I’m definitely, definitely not.”

A slow nod. “Yes, as I assumed…wait, did you think you were?”

“Well, I was sick last week and my period is a day late—”

In a motion identical to Cinder when Cress had told her that same reasoning, he stared blankly. “Cress, I was sick too. We had food poisoning.”

“I know!” she affirmed cheerily, as if the memory of hurling her guts up was nothing but pleasant.

As she embraced him again, Kai looked back at Cinder, casting her a quizzical look. 

Shrugging, she smiled and rested her chin on his shoulder. 

———

“Whoa, is there some kind of womanly pregnancy test ritual I don’t know about?” Kai called from the bathroom.

“What?” Cinder replied, not really paying attention. She was sitting on top of their bed, covers still drawn up, and though she still needed to get up and brush her teeth, her limbs felt heavy with fatigue, soldering her to the bed. Her fingers lazily scrolled through the article on her port—a review of a new optical sensor in droids and how to install it.

“Well, it looks like a cardboard box volcano threw up in here,” Kai commented, slightly muffled by the sounds of the cardboard knocking into each other as he began sorting the mess.

Cinder let out a sleepy laugh. “Oh, yeah, that was the result of Cress’s paranoia. I forgot to clean it up.”

“And you wonder why our bathroom is always messy,” Kai said wryly.

Cinder set aside her portscreen, allowing herself a moment to rest her eyes. She was so exhausted from work that morning, and then Cress and Thorne’s arrival, Cress’s subsequent crisis and the ensuing dinner, that when they all retired to their rooms she made a beeline for the shower, dressed, collapsed on the bed and hadn’t moved since.

“Come to bed,” she yawned. “I’ll clean it up in the morning.”

A snort. “I can’t exactly brush my teeth with Mount Vesuvius of boxes in the way.”

And so Cinder slumped back against the headboard, telling herself that she would wait until Kai was finished to get up and brush her teeth. But with the soft mattress beneath her, Kai’s humming and sorting drifting from the bathroom, she was lulled into a sleep-like state.

After what could have been mere seconds or a full hour, Kai’s voice roused her from the fringes of unconsciousness, sobered of all joking tone from before. “Love, how many tests did Cress take?”

She answered after a moment, barely able to conjure the number from her recollection. “Two,” she called back, loud enough for him to hear but no less slurred.

He didn’t respond straight away, and when he did, he sounded almost clinical. “There are three tests here.”

Waking up a bit more, she stretched out her arms and legs. “Oh, yeah, I took one as well. For moral support. She was panicking.”

“Cinder, one of these tests is positive.”

Cinder catapulted from her bed to the bathroom. Her metal foot nearly slipped as the carpet cut into tiles. Bracing herself on the door, she managed to stop herself from slamming flat on her face. Kai—who ordinarily would’ve rocketed over to catch her—was fixated on the stick on the bench. Then he took her in. He looked just as shocked by her appearance as she felt, all tendrils of sleepiness instantly sloughed away.

The boxes that had littered the bench were gone, leaving only the three tests neatly lined up next to each other. She snatched them up in one swoop, holding them for her eyes to confirm.

There was the pink test Cress had taken which read in bold letters Not Pregnant. But the other two tests were identical in colour and shape. The only difference was that one had a single line, and the other had a clear, unmistakable two.

Perhaps it was the cold lighting of the bathroom, but Kai’s face looked pale. “Do you know which one you took?” he whispered, wide-eyed.

She dumbly shook her head. “I—I—no.” Tossing the blue test into the bin, she compared the twin sticks. “We both took one each of this kind, I—I can’t tell who it belongs to.”

As he pried the negative test from her, Cinder realised his hands were trembling. He dropped it into the bin. “Then you can—you should take another one.”

Clutching the positive test like a lifeline, she nodded. But then the flicker of unfathomable hope rising in her chest was snuffed out. Disappointment left her in a sigh. “Tests are only reliable for ten minutes,” she explained flatly. “After that, the results can change with the atmospheric temperature and it develops an evaporation line; it becomes a false positive.”

Kai gave a disheartened, “Oh,” He rubbed at his wrists. “I guess it’s just that, then.”

She chuckled, a weak, hollow sound. “Yeah.”

“I mean, if you looked at the test when you took it and it read negative, then it doesn’t make sense that it would change.”

“I never checked it,” she cut in.

His eyes bored into hers, silence enveloping them for a beat. Two. Three.

“You should take another—”

“—I’ll take one right now.”

Rushing over to the sideboard, Cinder rifled through the top shelf, unapologetically destroying Kai’s neat stacking. She seized the box tucked all the way at the back—the one her doctor had recommended to her. Of all the tests, it promised the highest accuracy and would yield a clear result early in her cycle.

Once she’d taken it, she laid the test on the bench and washed her hands. Kai had a strange, indecipherable look on his face, and she could tell he was experiencing the same tidal wave of emotions as her but was trying to keep it contained. Perhaps he didn’t want to get his hopes up and transfer that excitement to her. 

The small window on the test blinked every five seconds. While some tests offered a loading bar, agonisingly, this one did not. Cinder got the eerie sense that this was a bomb waiting to erupt.

“How long does it take?” he asked, probably going through the same muddle of thoughts as her.

“Three minutes,” she said, setting a timer on her retina display.

Kai moved from one foot to the other, his arms swaying up and down like they refused to stay still. “Well, from the time you took the test to bringing it out and washing your hands, that’s got to be at least thirty seconds already, right?”

“Right.” She removed thirty seconds from the timer. It made little difference. Two minutes and fifteen seconds felt longer than the entire Lunar Revolution.

Unable to keep himself from fidgeting, Kai shifted to take her hands into his own. Only when he steadied her did she realise she was also trembling. “It’s going to be okay,” he assured her, unknowingly echoing Cinder’s own words to Cress earlier that day. “If it is a false positive, it isn’t forever. One day it will be positive.”

“You’re right,” she said, but it wasn’t true at all. Because although she had been chanting don’t get your hopes up like a mantra in her head, she was weak. After a year of negatives, this single, completely unreliable positive had trashed all traces of patience and endurance. A foolish, illogical part of her screamed that if it wasn’t positive now, it would never be.

Kai ran his hands up her goosebumped flesh and pulled her towards him. His kiss was gentle, comforting, and tasted like their dinner of steamed pork buns and pickled cucumbers. She was sure she tasted the same; they both still needed to brush their teeth. She couldn’t care less.

When they separated, Cinder inhaled deeply. No, it wasn’t fair to Kai to be so pessimistic. If it came back negative, she would plaster on a brave face, make some quip about blaming Cress for this whole debacle, and promise that they had time. To reveal to him how hopeless she felt would only dash his hopes. She was also vaguely aware that she was being maybe a touch overemotional and unreasonable. Her retina display told her as much, from the flashing warnings of an accelerated heart rate and increased hormones. 

“How much longer?” he murmured.

“Thirty seconds.”

She could only catch a glimpse of the test before she had to rip her eyes away. Oh, she felt mean for thinking that Cress was overreacting. She flipped it over so the loading bar was hidden. She really couldn’t look at it. It was unbearable.

“You’re right,” she repeated, talking as much to herself as to him. “It’ll be fine. It’s probably just a fluke anyway. We have time. Plenty of it! And we’re young anyway—maybe it’s a good thing that we wait a little longer! I mean, we still have places to travel and we won’t be able to do that with a baby and if I am pregnant I’ll be sick all the time and we’re right about to head into the busiest political season of the year so it’s not great timing anyway—”

“Love—”

“—so maybe I dont even want it to be positive!” Her voice cracked and she forced out a strangled laugh, feeling hysterical. But then she saw the tsunami of emotions crossing his face.

“I do,” he confessed. 

And her resolve crumbled.

Zero. She grabbed the test, yelling, “Oh, just say yes, damn it!” His hand gripped the other end, and together they flipped it.

Pregnant.

Flinging it over her shoulder, Cinder leapt into Kai’s arms, who was just as quick to reach for her. Their delighted shrieks echoed off the tiles as he spun her around until they were both dizzy. Only when he set her down and kissed her, deep and full and blissfully awkward with their lips stuck in smiles did their bawling quiet down.

Eventually, after enough tears from Kai to make up for both of them, they retrieved the test from the floor, holding it between them so tenderly it was like it was their baby itself.

———

They visited their doctor the very next morning at 7:30 sharp. Normally, you couldn’t drag Kai out of bed for anything at that time, but in this very special circumstance he was the one nudging Cinder awake. Though they’d spent the rest of last night cuddled together, glowing over the news, it hadn’t fully sunk in yet as being real. So they sat across from the doctor in the Palace medical ward, hands entwined and buzzing with anticipation as they waited for her to confirm it.

And she did. Cinder’s long-time doctor smiled and assured them that, yes, she was pregnant and—after performing an ultrasound—that the baby was healthy, everything was according to normal progress and she was exactly four weeks and three days pregnant.

The tiny fetus in the ultrasound resembled more of a reptile than a human, but Cinder and Kai were besotted all the same.

When they left the appointment, the receptionist—who ordinarily tried very hard to treat them as any other patients—couldn’t reel in a gasp when she saw the prenatal vitamins the doctor had prescribed. She stared at the couple, jaw slack and eyes wide, until Kai posed a finger over his lips with a shh and a wink. Jolting out of her stupor, she nodded vigorously, but was unable to fight the grin on her face.

When they returned to their wing, no signs of life could be observed. They couldn’t help but be glad that Cress and Thorne were still sleeping. They would need some time to school their expressions from pure unbridled joy into something less suspicious.

Though Kai immediately cleared a space on the fridge to stick the ultrasound picture up, Cinder stopped him. “Hang on, we’ve got to tell them first.”

“Sorry, I just got excited,” he said, tucking it into his pocket.

She leaned up and kissed him, long and slow. “Me too.”

Kai got started on breakfast while Cinder read through the long list of instructions her doctor had sent to her portscreen. What symptoms to expect in the first trimester, foods to avoid, which vitamins to take and when. Some things were obvious, like ceasing consumption of alcohol. She hadn’t had a drop of the stuff since they’d started trying to conceive a year ago—never wanting to risk harming her baby. Some of the other rules, such as avoiding sushi, were tougher to accept.

“No sushi for me,” she grumbled.

Flipping over a rasher of bacon in the pan, Kai sighed sympathetically. “That is tragic.”

“Or deli meat! How random is that!”

His brow furrowed. “When was the last time you ate a ham sandwich?”

“It doesn’t matter that I don’t normally eat it, it’s the fact that now I can’t. What if I have a weird craving for it?”

A ferocious yawn echoed off the tiles. “What can’t you have?”

Turning, they watched Thorne trudge out from the hallway, hair mussed and shirt wrinkled. He yawned again and plopped onto a stool. Cinder grabbed the bottle of vitamins and shoved it into a drawer, but it didn’t matter; Thorne was barely cognizant. Still, she was glad she hadn’t said ‘pregnancy cravings.’

“I can’t have water anymore, I’m allergic,” she blatantly lied and silently laughed when Thorne muttered, “huh, cool.”

“Want me to make you some coffee?” Kai offered, grinning aside at her.

Laying his head on his elbows, Thorne closed his eyes. “You’d better, or I might kill you both.”

Since Kai was already cooking, Cinder offered to make it and was struck by a roiling in her stomach at the pungent smell. Neither she nor Kai usually had coffee in the mornings, and though she was only four weeks along, she wondered if this aversion was a new symptom. But at least she wasn’t throwing up, so she set the coffee before Thorne and watched as he was slowly resurrected with each sip.

Cress eventually trailed out, swallowed up by her floppy pyjamas and even wilder hair. She hugged Thorne from behind and stole the last few gulps of his drink. “Morning,” she greeted hoarsely.

“Good morning, Cress,” Kai and Cinder chirped back, working together to plate up the bacon, eggs and breadrolls. It wasn’t the usual breakfast choice for them, which was simple if they made it themselves or extravagant if the palace chefs were cooking. But with Thorne’s recent condition, it was probably best to stick with something familiar to him.

Cress frowned at them. “You look and sound too chipper for this time of morning.”

“Oh, we’ve been up for hours,” Cinder mentioned casually, stirring honey into a cup of tea. “We didn’t want to wake you. Figured you needed the rest with how you’ve been the last week.” She set the tea before Cress.

Cress grimaced and took a swig. “Right. About that. I just wanted to apologise for yesterday.”

“Why?”

Taking the seat next to her husband, Cress laced her fingers through his. “I—uh—sort of freaked out over nothing and”—she stared down at her lap shamefully—“I also got my period this morning, so…it was a waste of your tests.”

Cinder saw a smirk forming on Kai’s lips. Their eyes met, exchanging unspoken words.

“Well, actually, about that, Cress,” Cinder started, affecting an anxiousness in her tone and scratching her ear the way Kai did when he was nervous. “I looked again at the tests last night, and, um…”

Her expression instantly shifted from embarrassed to guarded. “What?”

Twiddling her fingers, she let out a shaky laugh. “Well, I…I looked at the tests and…”

“And?” she pressed, paling.

“And one of them was positive.”

Thorne, who had seemed more invested at staring at a piece of bacon than listening to this conversation, jumped to attention. “What? But you said it was negative.”

Cress met his frantic look, equally as shocked. “But…I…I’m…?”

“You—you’re…?” he spluttered, grabbing her shoulders. “We’re going to be…?”

Redness flooded Cress’s cheeks. “I’m…I’m…wait, no! No, I got my period this morning—I’m not pregnant!”

“Then what—” 

Biting her lip to dam the laughter threatening to spill out, Cinder decided to put them out of their misery. “You’re right. It wasn’t your test. It was mine.”

When they whipped their heads to her in sync, matching confusion scrawled over their faces, she and Kai couldn’t help but burst out laughing.

And then, after five seconds, Cress screamed. Her arms were around Cinder before she could blink. “Really?!” she cried, tears dripping into her smile.

“Really,” Cinder confirmed, the throbbing at her temples confirming her eyes wanted to be just as watery.

Cress ugly sobbed and squeezed the life out of her.

Thorne stared dumbly at them, motionless behind the bench. But when his wife squawked out, “Oh, you’re going to be parents!” the realisation on his face was brighter than a solar flare.

Whooping, he followed Cress in crushing Cinder in a hug. Then they both pulled away to embrace Kai, laughter and incoherent sounds from all four of them.

“Are you really pregnant?” Thorne asked in disbelief. 

“Yep,” Cinder squeaked, feeling lightheaded. “Kai, show them the picture.”

Kai held it up for them all to admire, which sent Cress into another round of sobs.

“It’s so ugly,” Thorne said, beaming. Cinder slugged him in the shoulder.

“It’s our baby and they’re beautiful,” she cooed, then took the picture from Kai and stuck it on its rightful place on the fridge.

Then, once some of the surprise had settled, Thorne wagged at finger at Cinder. “What was all that about? Tricking us into thinking Cress was pregnant?”

“Yeah—hey, what was that for!” Cress agreed indignantly.

As Kai wrapped an arm around Cinder, she smirked, feeling only the slightest bit guilty. “Oh come on, you made it too easy not to.”

“But truthfully,” he said, his gaze warm upon her, “we have you to thank, Cress. You were the reason Cinder took the test in the first place.”

Cress cupped her cheeks. “Oh, all that freaking out was worth it!”

“Okay”—Thorne clapped his hands—“we’ve had our crying time. Now let’s celebrate with breakfast, because I haven’t eaten properly in days and I am starving.”

All in agreement, they dished up plates and brought them over to the table. But when she tried to eat, Cinder found that she was so full on joy that she didn’t feel very hungry at all.

“Hey, Cin,” Thorne said, tearing a piece of bacon with his teeth. “Given that Cress was the reason you found out in the first place, and since you won’t be drinking anymore, think you could donate your liquor to us?”

Cinder lobbed a breadroll at his head.

———

“So you’re telling me that you told Carswell Thorne you were pregnant before you told me?” 

Cinder laughed at the image of Iko on the portscreen. No matter that androids were technically incapable of emotion—Iko looked furious.

“That wasn’t my fault, Iko—you had no service!” defended Cinder. 

Leaning his chin on her shoulder, Kai chimed in, “Besides, we’re still telling you on the same day.” 

“I don’t care,” she huffed, crossing her arms. “I could’ve been on Neptune and you still should have told me first. In fact, you should’ve sent a military officer, nay, an entire military regiment to tell me the very second you found out.”

“I’m sorry. But I promise you’ll be the first person to find out the sex. And you can come along to some of my appointments if you’d like,” she offered.

Iko scoffed, flipping her pink braids over her shoulder. “Honey, I’m going to be at the birth. This baby is going to know who their favourite auntie is from the millisecond they come out of you.”

“Of course, it’s your baby, after all,” teased Kai, nudging Cinder. But Iko only nodded like this was completely obvious.

She said something in reply, but it was lost as the connection crackled. Iko was in a remote village in Guatemala, a town recently affected by an outbreak of Letumosis. While the disease was mostly eradicated and vaccines were available worldwide, smaller rural towns were still at risk. When an outbreak contaminated the entire village, the local doctors simply lacked enough antidotes to cure everyone in time. Iko, in her role of ambassador, volunteered to visit with Kinney to support the locals and bring them supplies.

“Well don’t rush back,” Kai ordered sternly. “Wait until you’re fully clear of any disease. I won’t have you getting my wife sick.”

Iko deadpanned. “I don’t get sick, Your Majesty. I’m an android.”

“What? Since when?”

Iko let out a very un-android hmph! and declared, “I’m coming back in a week’s time. Don’t go anywhere.” And then she was back to the thrilled squealing from when they’d first told her the news, to which she’d screamed, “I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!”

“Iko, you’re going to break a window,” came Kinney’s distant voice.

She stuck out her tongue in his direction. But, sighing, she calmed. “I’ve gotta go. I love you both, and my future niece or nephew! Stars, I have some major baby shopping to do.”

“We love you too,” they echoed, with Cinder adding, “Say hi to Kinney for me.”

Iko blew them a kiss, and just before she cut the line, yelled. “And don’t you dare start planning the nursery until I’m back!”

Cinder tossed the port at the end of the bed, groaning. “Well at least that’s over with.”

Lying beside her, Kai took her waist in his palm and pulled her close. “Oh come on, you were excited to tell her.”

“I was,” she admitted, nestling into him. “But her exuberance tired me out. I think the baby’s already draining me.”

He gave her stomach a gentle poke. “Be nice to your mother, little lizard.”

She covered his hand with her own, keeping it there. With her back against his chest, his warmth radiated into her body, comforting and safe.

“I have a secret,” he murmured into her hair.

“Tell me,” she whispered, because there were no secrets between them.

“I already planned the nursery. I’ve been thinking about it for over a year.”

Her heart swelled. “What does it look like?” 

“Dusk. Lilac and orange walls with a moon and sun and stars. I was thinking—sunset is the bridge between Earth and Luna. Look how the colours from the sun and moon swirl together and become one.” He pointed out at the dusk enveloping the sky outside the window. “It sounds a lot like our little one.”

“I love it.” She had no objections at all. Kai was the more artistic of the two of them, after all. And it was beautiful.

Blinking at the melting sky, she imagined it painted onto the wall of the room they’d reserved for their nursery. She had observed the sunset from this window countless times, but suddenly, it felt completely new. Somehow, this small, magical thing growing inside her made her feel like she’d stepped onto an entirely different planet.

Perhaps they could’ve fallen asleep right there, but Kai whispered, “You’re so beautiful.”

“You won’t be saying that in a week’s time when I’m hunched over the toilet hurling up my guts.”

He dropped a kiss on her shoulder, pulling her impossibly closer. “You’ll be beautiful then too.”

“Oh no,” she intoned. “This isn’t a sign of what’s to come, is it? You’re not going to be one of those obsessive husbands who dote on me my whole pregnancy, are you?”

“I’ll dote on the baby, not on you.” His hand, tender and firm, suggested otherwise.

With an impish smile, she pulled away and sat up, sticking her nose up at him. “Well, right now the baby wants a cup of tea.”

He rolled away from her. “You have legs, get it yourself.”

“Hey!”

They fell back into each other, laughing as freely as they always had. As teenagers, engaged and then married. Cinder suddenly realised that that would all change. It would never again be just the two of them. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that yet.

“A summer baby, huh?” she pondered once their laughter died down.

“We’re going to have so much fun with you nine months pregnant during a heatwave,” he drawled.

The mere thought of hot flushes and swollen ankles (well, ankle) made her shudder. Would she be as blissfully elated in eight months time? “I’ll be twenty-seven by then,” she realised. “Can you believe that ten years ago, we were only just meeting?” 

The thought made her sentimentally wistful. No doubt her younger self would have been terrified at the idea of being a mother. But in retrospect, she suspected she would have still been secretly excited. It wasn’t that different from her current feelings. Being a mother, raising—not a baby, but a person—still brought on a surge of muddled feelings, and fear was definitely in there. But as she stroked Kai’s cheek with his thumb, imagining their child with his copper brown eyes that shone gold in the fading light, that fear was quieted.

“Imagine if we told those kids who they would become. Would they believe that would be married, let alone having a baby?”

He yawned. “We’ve always been married.” 

“No, we haven’t.”

“Technicalities. To me, I’ve been yours my entire life.”

She shoved his shoulder, rolling her eyes. “You’re so lame. Please don’t pass that onto our child.”

“Oh, I’m going to make sure of it,” he challenged, eyes sparkling.

Just as she was sarcastically groaning, he sat up and swung his legs to the floor.

She startled. “Where are you going?” 

“To make your tea.” Because of course, he would dote on her.

Grabbing his wrist before he could walk too far, she reeled him back to her. “Not yet. Stay with us awhile.”

And with the word us, and its brilliant, wonderful, brand-new meaning, he lit up brighter than a sunrise.

Settling back together, Cinder again traced the lilac and gold swimming through the clouds. Blending together in a dance, the two—so different—creating something new, something magnificent. She was certain in that moment that the world would never again behold something quite like it.

Pressing her hand to her stomach, she thought of something even better.

Notes

I've had this story in my head for like 3 years now, not quite sure why I never wrote it. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!

There are several kaider pregnancy reveal fics out there, and I love those, but I noticed that in them the pregnancy is usually unplanned. So I wanted to see one where the pregnancy is planned, and I also adore the idea of Cinder and Kai finding out together.

@cindersassasin @hayleblackburn @spherical-empirical @salt-warrior @just2bubbly @gingerale2017 @slmkaider @luna-maximoff-22 @kaixiety @snozkat @mirrorballsss @skinwitch18 @bakergirl13 @cyborgcourt @linh-cindy @therealkaidertrash21 let me know if you'd like to be added!

[gingerale2017]

a kaider fic where Cinder happens to get pretty drunk one evening, which is somewhat unlikely of her to do, but Kai, being sober, is just taking care of her and watching her go from sarcastic, sassy and aloof Cinder to a complete softy. The whole time he’s helping guide her comfortably to bed she’s just confessing her undying love for him, but as if it’s a big secret of hers. Like (slurring her words) “Kai, I’m so in love with you. Promise you won’t tell anyone?” And he thinks it’s very cute and funny. + Other stuff she loves about him, like his hair, that she might not so casually and deeply admit she admires

YEAH YEAH YEAH LET'S SPEED WRITE THIS

Kai stared at the empty glasses of champagne crowding Cinder's seat with amazement and bit of envy because stars knows how useful those glasses would have been an hour earlier. But it was his wife's empty chair that concerned him most when he told her to sit still while he said goodbye to the ever so bland and boring diplomats around ten minutes ago.

There were three glasses of champagne when he found her and now there were nine. How much could a girl drink in ten minutes?

He sighed, rubbing his forehead as he went to go look for her. Luckily, most of the important people had left already so they wouldn't have any gossip to bring home, had they found her. Who knows how unpredictable she was acting under the influence? He couldn't really tell because her attitude changes depending on her alcohol intake.

He walked around the ballroom where servant droids were putting away decorations and storing away all the tables. An event of appreciation for all the Commonwealth diplomats and their spouses had taken place here in the palace with Kai as its host. He wanted to congratulate his bureaucracy for all the hard work he's seen them do, which was evident with how much the Commonwealth had changed for the better. So he gave a party and speech where he encouraged to relax and drink. Unfortunately, the partners of the politicians took the command "drink" a little too seriously, including his own. He had seen many men and women drag their flushed and smiling spouse away before they could cause embarrassment.

Now he had to go haul his own, maybe not flushed but definitely smiling girlfriend to their bed, if he could find her. He tried to act normal as he walked on the marble floors. Human servants would bow, he would smile, and asked androids if they'd seen the empress. They all answered no with apologies until one droid lit up.

"Yes, I have seen Her Majesty at the bar thirty seconds ago."

His stomach dropped. He knew Cinder had a rather high tolerance to alcohol than most because her processing system, something about it made alcohol pass through her system faster, but she could still get drunk. And he suspected by now, if she wasn't already, she was very drunk.

We walked as fast as he could around the droid to bar where were his wife was asking the bar droid for spiked lemonade. He approached her carefully, as to not spook her because in this state she could harm herself.

"Please, one more drink!" His girlfriend begged the android bartender. "I swear I'm not drunk." "Based on the alcohol percentage of the cocktails you drank and your height and body weight, my estimate is that you are severely under the influence. I advise you to not consume any more alcohol tonight." The male robotic voice responded. Cinder pouted and threw her body over the counter.

Kai huffed in surprise. In the nearly two years he'd known her, he'd never seen her under the influence. At least, not this badly. What triggered her to drink so much? Did someone say something? Or was she feeling particularly rebellious tonight?

Cinder giggled to herself as she traced the empty glass with her fingers. Kai got nervous at her proximity with the fragile cup as she wasn't even looking at it. He made his move them and very gently laid a hand on her shoulder blade.

She jumped at his touch, wildly flinging the glass, but Kai smoothly whisked it out of her grasp. She spun around and looked at him with her once nicely-done hair covering her eyes.

Her face burst out in a big smile as she recognized him. "It's you." She mumbled.

He couldn't help but smile back. Even in this delirious state, she was adorable. "It's me. You tired?"

Cinder tried to swipe the hair out of her eyes with not avail. Kai helped her out, tucking the soft chocolate strands behind the fizz of her ears. "Nah. I mean- A little." She paused, quirking her mouth to the side. "Thanks. Is it time for bed?"

Kai checked his watch for her sake; he already knew it was late. "Yes, it's way past our bedtime." False. As policy makers, their bedtime was way later than now on an average day. But tonight was an event, so it meant they could sleep in. How rare.

Cinder frowned. "Crap." She zoned out for a second. Kai gulped, wondering if he should snap her out of it, when she started giggling. "Don't tell that bartender guy, but I think I'm drunk." She proceeded to snort and laugh even louder. Panicking, Kai covered them both with his back by pressing them to the counter. He didn't want the lingering party-goers to ridicule the new Lunar Diplomat for having a too little self-control or some manure like that. Hopefully, no one recognized them.

"Why are you drunk?" He asked, half-guessing she wouldn't give a clear answer.

Her giggle fit became a soft chuckle as she pressed her face to his stomach and played with the buttons of his dress shirt. Kai's hand naturally found the base of her head and stroked her hair slowly. "Thorne said I never lived if I didn't get absolutely wasted at at least one formal event, so I-I wanted to prove him wrong but then I-I got g-got mad and it was too late to stop so I kept going." She chuckled. "And I kept going. And it felt too fun to stop."

She lifted her chin upwards so her gaze could peer into his, so large she was practically doe-eyed. "You're not mad at me, right?"

It was his turn to laugh. "Of course not, my love. I'm just confused. This isn't something I've seen you do-"

"Oh good. I was worried." She sighed and wrapped her arms around his torse. He froze for a second, then leaned into her embrace.

"How about we go to my room tonight? I know you like it better than yours." He tempted.

He could feel her smile grow. "Yes please!"

Despite her enthusiasm, it was hassle to get to his room. He had rolled up his sleeves in concentration and had one arm stiff against her waist; the other arm opened doors and stole things from her oppurtunist hands. Her body squirmed against his grip relentlessy, excited by every idea that crossed her mind.

For example, she would ask to do outlandish things she would laugh at while sober. 'We should go swimming!' She offered. Kai bit his tongue from noting that she couldn't swim. 'The pool is closed' he said in return. 'How about a stroll in the market?' She begged. Kai stopped himself from groaning. 'The market is closed.' He explained. 'Can we visit the gardens?' she asked. Kai wouldn't have minded that if she wasn't drunk. 'Can we please go to bed?' He countered.

Kai couldn't help but wonder why she was commenting this. Perhaps they were things she truly wanted to experience but was too embarrassed to say while sober. He wished to tell her someday that it is okay to want these things, even if they sound stupid or silly. Everyone yearns for crazy things, even borderline outlandish. It's not so embarrassing.

At that Cinder stopped, causing Kai to almost trip over himself. "What's wrong?" He walked in front of her and cupped her face. Worried, he asked her again.

"I'm sorry. I'm annoying you." She apoligized, lip trembling.

Kai's heart broke a little at her genuine sadness. "No you're not, no reason to say sorry, my dearest."

She sniffed. Her hands slowly and clumsily made their way up his arms to her cheeks and rubbed his wrists. She seemed to do it absent-mindedly as her gaze landed away from his stare. Stars, even while out of it she possessed crazy tons of power over him. The smallest motion of her fingertips made his knees go weak.

"I was thinking about you. Earlier." She started to confess.

"Oh? I hope you only thought good things if me."

"Oh yes. I like the silly little names you give me. Like 'love'" She giggled. "No you're my love! Kai-" She gasped, her whole body jumping with the motion. Suddenly, her eyes widened with an inexplicable craze and gripped his wrists with such tightness that his skin started to go red. "I have secret."

"You do?" He leaned in with curiosity. Her earlier words made his cheeks go pink. He was so glad to know she liked being called those nicknames. It was something he picked up from his father growing up, and it came so natural to him that he couldn't keep himself from calling her pretty names. "You can trust me, sweetheart."

"O-okay. It's so secret, though. It's secret secret. But you can't tell anybody. Anybody. Promise?" Her voice began to slur over.

Kai nodded enthuisiastically. "I promise."

"Kai, I'm so in love you. Like super in love with you." Cinder shut her eyes and shook her head sporatically. "Don't tell anyone, you promised!"

Kai's body shook with silent laughter at her 'secret secret'. He ducked his head so she wouldn't misinterpret the pure joy of his grin for a mocking one. Stars, he was thinking of proposing soon: he sure hoped she was madly in love with him. "I know, darling." He tilted his head to the side and met her wild eyes again. "Hey, wanna know my secret secret."

She nodded, bobbing her head (that was still cradled by both of their hands by the way) like an apple in water. "I won't tell anyone. I'm good at keeping secrets."

"I know." He rubbed her cheek with his thumb. "I'm like super in love with you too." He flashed one of his winning smiles, the one with the slight exposure of his teeth, and the one Cinder confessed to liking the most.

Her jaw hung open for a bit. He gently pushed it closed as she laughed. "We have the same secret!"

"I know. Crazy right?" They giggled in unison. Cinder might have snorted. "Let's go to bed, my love."

"Okay." She pulled away from him and paused, expecting him to lead the way. He hesitated, missing her embrace for a moment, then let her latch onto his arm and carried on.

She got less distracted by her impulsive thoughts and more analytical. She was quiet now as she turned her ever studious eye towards him. What was she thinking? He tensed slightly at her silence. Maybe she suddenly felt the urge to turn away from him. Yet, she still held onto him tightly.

Before he could overthink himself to ruin, she spoke softly. "You have a very nice neck."

Kai felt heat rise up into the same spot she complimented. "Thank you?" He responded, a surprised chuckle ripping through his lips. They paused, mere steps away from his room.

She smiled widely. "You're welcome." Her eyes glanced at his blush that was unrelentlessly climbing up his skin. "I love when it does that too." She giggled.

Kai rubbed his neck with his free hand. "What, blush?"

"Oh yes. It's so adorable. It's like giving you away when you try to hide something." Though with an already slurred speech, she adapted a lisp. She was the adorable one.

"You're absolutely right, Cinder." He started to pace to his door, shaking his head with soft laughter.

She clumsily followed him as he walked in. "You got a nice frame too. At first glance, you look skinny, but your shoulders and back prove that you got some muscle on you." She giggled and traced his back.

Kai spun around, his laughter growing in volume. She continued on.

"And your hair. Kai, how I love your hair!" She threw herself in his arms, taking the chance to run her fingers through the top of his head. "It's always so soft, and smells so good, and so pretty."

She liked his hair! For some reason, he felt like he was in grade school again and received confirmation that his crush liked him back.

Her eyes were glittering at this point. They might be man-made but they held so much emotion. They were beautiful.

Her gorgeous smile lit up every corner of her face. Taking a page out of his book she cupped his face and leaned him towards her. "You're so pretty." Her eyes flickered around his face, taking him all in. Kai has been studied his whole life, and, though at first he resented it, he grew passive to the action. Now, he reveled in her gaze. It may sound selfish, but he wanted to hear what parts she liked about him, what parts she found attractive, and even what parts she was repelled by. The glitter in her eyes twinkled even stronger as she put parts together. "So, so pretty."

"I think you're pretty." He murmured.

"I like how you talk to me." She confessed, matching his tone. "So sweet. So gentle. So genuine."

Kai bit his lip from chuckling at her lisp that returned again. Unfortunately, he was not strong enough. His body rocked with laughter and he dropped his head into his should, hugging her tight.

"I like your hugs too." She said, hugging him back. He continued to laugh.

Once his fit died out, he noticed how silent she became. He pulled away worried only to find dropping eyelids and an unsteady posture.

"You tired?" He asked. She nodded, her gaze unfocused. "Let's sleep."

He picked her up bridal style, handling the full weight of her metal extremities for quick short steps to his bed. He lay her down gently and she curled up into fetus position, already half-asleep. After tucking her in, he watched her for a second, how her chest moved slowly, and her face relaxed into a peaceful expression. He adjusted her hair again and moved to change into clothes for sleeping.

Cinder startled and grabbed his arm, pulling him down weakly. "Don't leave me." She croaked, falling asleep again.

He chuckled, giving up on his attempt to sleep in something comfier. Kai at least was able to snag off his tie and belt. "Me? Never." He yawned, hugging her waist.

"Goodnight Your Majesty." She mumbled, barely audible.

Sleep was already invading his mind. "Goodnight my Cinder."

A/N: SO SORRY ANON FOR TAKING SO LONG. I FORGOT THIS WAS IN MY DRAFTS. I'm posting this for the other anon that asked if I had any fics... which I do! Anyways, I'm sure this is riddled with grammar mistakes and ooc, but idc, I DID IT. Hope you enjoy somewhat (I DID LOVE WRITING THIS CONCEPT)

tagging: @just2bubbly @cinderswrench @cindersassasin @the-wee-woo-royal @deprivedmusicaljunkie @crescentchat @wheresmymom-imlost @salt-warrior @rapunzelfromthemoon @briggycat @impossiblesuitcase @kaider-is-my-otp @definitelynotisabel @wassupnye @therealkaidertrash21 @cinderswirecutters @hayleblackburn (these are for my kaider ONLY fics so please ask if you want to be tagged or removed <3)

[invalidstories]

Lunar Reverie (Part 1)

Part 2

In the heart of New Beijing, beneath the watchful gaze of the moon, a sense of anticipation hung heavy in the air. Cinder, the once lowly mechanic turned Lunar Queen, found herself at the center of attention as she prepared to host a lavish gala to celebrate the anniversary of her coronation.

Among the guests gathered in the opulent ballroom were Cinder's closest friends and allies—Kai, the former Emperor of the Eastern Commonwealth; Scarlet and Wolf, the fierce Lunar operatives; Cress, the brilliant hacker; and Thorne, the charming rogue. As the music swirled around them and the laughter echoed off the walls, Cinder couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over her.

But beneath the surface, tensions simmered. Whispers of discontent circulated among the Lunar nobility, their resentment simmering like embers beneath the surface. And amidst the glittering splendor of the gala, a shadowy figure lurked in the shadows, their intentions shrouded in mystery.

As the night wore on and the festivities reached their peak, Cinder found herself drawn to Kai's side, his presence a comforting anchor in the midst of uncertainty. But even as they danced beneath the stars, a sense of unease lingered in the air—a feeling that their happiness was fleeting, and that danger lurked just beyond the horizon.

It wasn't until the stroke of midnight that the conflict came to a head. A masked figure emerged from the shadows, their eyes gleaming with malice as they confronted Cinder and her friends, accusing them of betraying the Lunar people.

Chaos erupted as accusations flew and alliances were tested, threatening to tear apart the fragile peace that Cinder had fought so hard to achieve.

As the accusations hung in the air like a stormcloud ready to burst, Cinder's heart raced with uncertainty. The masked figure, cloaked in shadows, had struck a chord of fear and doubt among the guests, and whispers of suspicion rippled through the crowd like a chilling wind.

"It's her! She's the one who betrayed us!" a voice cried out from the crowd, pointing an accusing finger at Cinder.

Cinder's breath caught in her throat as she turned to face her accuser—a Lunar noble, his face twisted with anger and resentment. His words cut through the air like a knife, casting doubt upon Cinder's intentions and sowing discord among her allies.

Kai stepped forward, his voice ringing out with authority as he addressed the gathered crowd. "These accusations are baseless," he declared, his gaze unwavering as he locked eyes with the accusing noble. "Cinder has dedicated her life to bringing peace to our world. She would never betray us."

As the accusations continued to fly, the Lunar noble's words grew more insidious, each accusation laced with venomous intent. He spoke of secret alliances forged in the shadows, of betrayal and deceit lurking beneath Cinder's carefully crafted facade.

"She sold us out to the Earthens," the noble declared, his voice dripping with scorn. "She's been colluding with them all along, trading our secrets for her own gain."

Cinder felt a chill run down her spine as she heard the accusations hurled against her. The weight of their implications threatened to crush her beneath their burden, and she struggled to find her voice amidst the storm of doubt and suspicion.

But as she turned to her friends for support, she found their eyes clouded with uncertainty, their trust shaken by the noble's words. Scarlet and Wolf exchanged wary glances, their expressions mirroring the doubt that gnawed at Cinder's heart.

"I can't believe this," Scarlet murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

Cinder's chest tightened with anguish as she searched for the words to defend herself, to convince her friends of her innocence. But before she could speak, Kai stepped forward, his expression grave.

"I need to hear the truth from you, Cinder," he said, his voice firm but tinged with sorrow. "Did you betray us? Did you betray me?"

Cinder felt as if the ground had dropped out from beneath her feet, the weight of Kai's accusation crushing her spirit. A headache began to form, to remind her if she were normal she would've cried. She looked into his gaze, once filled with love and trust, now clouded with doubt and uncertainty.

"No, Kai, I would never…" she began, her voice breaking with emotion. But the words caught in her throat, choked by the weight of her own despair.

As the weight of Kai's accusation hung heavy in the air, a suffocating silence descended upon the room. The accusing noble stood triumphant, his smirk twisting with satisfaction as he watched the doubt and uncertainty spread like a virus among Cinder's friends.

But amidst the turmoil, a glimmer of defiance flickered in Cinder's eyes. Despite the crushing weight of betrayal and doubt, she refused to surrender to despair. With every ounce of strength she could muster, she pushed back against the accusations, her voice ringing out with a fierce determination.

"I swear on my life, I have never betrayed you," she declared, her words echoing through the room like a clarion call. "I would never betray any of you."

Her friends hesitated, their expressions caught between disbelief and longing, torn between the trust they once held in Cinder and the doubts sown by the noble's accusations. And as they searched her eyes for answers, Cinder could see the flicker of uncertainty warring with the bonds of friendship that had once bound them together.

But before the tension could escalate any further, a voice cut through the silence—a voice that carried with it a sense of authority and wisdom that demanded attention.

"It's not enough to swear your innocence, Cinder," Kai said, his voice low and solemn. "We need evidence. We need proof."

Cinder's heart sank at his words, the weight of his doubt crushing her spirit even further. But amidst the despair, a spark of determination ignited within her—a resolve to prove her innocence, no matter what the cost.

And so, with a heavy heart and tears still glistening in her eyes, Cinder turned away from her friends and set out on a journey to uncover the truth. For she knew that even if the road ahead was fraught with peril and uncertainty, she could not rest until her name was cleared and her honor restored.

And so, with each step she took, Cinder vowed to fight with every fiber of her being, to overcome the doubts and accusations that threatened to tear her world apart. For she knew that only by confronting the shadows of betrayal head-on could she hope to emerge victorious and reclaim the trust and friendship she held so dear. Masterlist

[cyborgcourt]

YOU CANNOT SKIP THIS.

I know I tend to post all the cutsie kaider bits, but I also believe that moments like these show the complexity and depth of their relationship just as much as their lovebird scenes. Both of them are clearly very distressed with the conflict between the state of the world and their relationship. Kai is upset because he felt that Cinder wasn’t completely honest with him about herself, and her genuineness and honesty was a significant part for the liking he had taken towards her. But Cinder makes a good point in her own defence that, yeah, his character at the time probably wouldn’t have handled the news very well. Then Kai revisits his concern about her hiding this information from him “forever”, obviously implying he saw something in their relationship, which is why when she shuts it down with a reminder of their differences and that “there was never going to be a forever” it stings for him (and most likely her as well). A thing I like though, is how in this moment, their relationship between an emperor and a cyborg is labeled as an “absurdity”. This is so amazing because they literally go on to defy adversity, this being part of it. And now for the awesome part, MORE EMOTIONAL CINDER! I REPEAT! MORE EMOTIONAL CINDER! (This part breaks my heart a little though). When Kai asks her how many times she manipulated him, she’s clearly taken aback by this because she never did. Then it says “a fire stoked behind her eyes” when she asks him if he was worried that he “may have had actual feelings for a lowly cyborg”…

MY POOR BABY FELT LIKE CRYING. BUT SHE CANT. You can’t tell me she wasn’t upset and hurt by that. A lowly cyborg. And this ladies and gentlemen is why Kaider is all around beautiful. Because they had THIS. This hurt and conflict that makes all their love. That. Much. Better.

[the-loquacious-enigma]

Being a fangirl is so fun like I don't understand how some people just don't have obsessions? Like how do they deal with their problems if they aren't assigning songs from different artists to different characters from different fandoms?? Or reading/writing fanfiction about their favorite ships??

[definitelynotisabel]

what people do when your desperately waiting for your favorite fanfic to update

sincerely,

someone reading their first incomplete fic.

[just2bubbly]

I need where they are engaged, & he gets jealous because someone is flirting with Cinder and she doesn't realize

Masterlist

Cinder's Perspective:

Cinder adjusted her shawl as she leaned against the cold metal of her chair, eyes glancing over the dancing crowd. She sighed, fingers loosening the tension between her eyes.

"You look quite tensed, cariño," a man whispered, pulling a seat beside her.

She looked up the meaning of 'cariño'—sweetheart. Cinder pretended not to hear the man's words, too frustrated with the party going on.

"Am I disturbing, mia? I didn't want to leave a pretty lady alone, lest she be in trouble," He asked again, and Cinder was happy to have used her glamour before hiding in this corner. She could easily ask him to shut up without causing a scene.

She threw a glance in his direction, taking in his attire, of a white shirt layered with an oversized pink-hue blazer and matching cut pants. Her retina scanner gave Alex Murel as his name, PA to the Spanish Senator Mateo Furlkren. It seemed Alex didn't take his time out to put down Garan's device, something he would come to regret if Senator Mateo wanted a good man to work for him.

"No, I'd wanted a moment alone," she replied, a curt nod in his direction.

"Funny how I share the sentiment," he said, flashing a smile, modest yet unnecessarily vibrant.

She hummed, swirling the amber liquid in her glass, as she caught sight of Kai talking with someone, his face dazzling as he chuckled at something they said. Cinder felt envious of his charming stance, always ready to put on a polite smile and friendly greeting. She tried hard to present herself as a warm person, but always ended up putting the wrong impression than what she had planned.

"Would you like a fill-up? I was going to get one for myself-" he asked, to which Cinder cut him short, "- thank you, but don't want myself getting drunk tonight."

"Don't want to wake up with a hangover, I see," he murmured, a slight frown donning his face.

Cinder saw Kai walking towards her, and to maintain her cover, she glamoured him, squeezing his hand as he pulled closer.

Noticing no sign of resemblance flicker in the man's eyes, Kai greeted him, eyes searching for confirmation in hers. She quietly asked him to pretend along, as she leaned against his form, putting some of the strain on her shoulders away. Cinder felt his hands come at the small of her back as she pulled her shawl closer against her body.

"Hello, Sir," Alex said, a hand reached out for a shake. Cinder found the sight comical, knowing very well that had it not been for her glamour, Alex would have fleed at the very sight of the Emperor, instead, he shook hands with him.

"I'm Zuko Alee, a journalist for the New Beijing Times, and you must be?" He said, the practised lie rolling off his tongue easily.

"I'm Alex Murel, I work in the Spanish Senate. Senator Mateo's advisor to be exact, you must know him?"

"I don't think it clicks a ring, can't be bothered with the Spanish Senate while I cover the Commonwealth News," Kai replies, "It was nice meeting you, Mr. Murel. I would like to share a dance with my wife before we call it a night."

Kai kisses her hairline, taking the empty glass from her hand, as he pulls her up towards the dance floor.

"What was that?" Cinder asked eyebrow arched as she felt Kai's nimble fingers thrum at her waist.

"What was what?"

"My wife," she mouthed, pressing her lips against his cheek. It seemed Kai had other intentions, as he dragged her chin to look into his eyes, lips crashing against hers, with more vigour than she expected. A groan escaped her without meaning to, and she felt quite thankful for having the false identity of the glamour.

"You're jealous," she stated, a giggle on her lips, as she noticed how Kai had positioned them to be in the direct line of sight of the man from before.

"That guy was trying to flatter you with 'I work for the Spanish Senate', you're getting married to the Emperor," Kai mocked, his voice dripping with satire.

"You're really jealous," Cinder laughed, hugging him as she lay her head in the crook of his neck, rising to lay a red kiss mark stain on his jaw.

"I don't want anyone flirting with what's mine."

"He wasn't even flirting with me. Some lady I'd glamoured myself into."

"That doesn't change anything," Kai muttered.

"I'm dropping the glamour, you have lipstick stain on your jaw." She didn't want him to be clicked for some dramatic headlines, without consenting.

"What are you marking territory now?" He teased, lips quirked up in a smirk.

"Don't want anyone forgetting what's mine."

...

A/N: It was fun writing experience, especially so since I was not writing angst after a while.

tagging: @gingerale2017 @slmkaider @impossiblesuitcase @fangirlforever0704 @cinderswrench @selwithwonderland @therealkaidertrash21 @salt-warrior @cindersassasin

[i-am-befuddled]

Me defending any mid show/book that my brain latched on to

[crescentchat]

my contribution to jacinter week!

wonderland 🍰🗝🫖🍄🃏

"tell me" 🎺🗽🕝⛓🍾

poison 🧪🪞🕊️❄️⚗️

[impossiblesuitcase]

Tu me Cherchais?

““Hello, Michelle.” His voice was a wearier version of the one she had adored all those years ago, but it still filled her with memories and loneliness and warmth.” 

Tell him hello

When Logan first brought Selene to Michelle, he stayed in the house. No one visited her anyway and he couldn’t go into town—not with the risk of being discovered. While Selene was still in such critical condition, he would need to watch over her. Once she was stable, he would leave.   

Logan slept on the couch in the living room next to Selene’s chamber. In her current state, she was at risk of a heart attack or capture from enemies. Michelle had offered them the spare bedroom, but the suspension tank couldn’t be brought up the stairs. Once, when she passed by the staircase, she remembered the portraits on her wall. Four-year-old Scarlet playing in a sandbox. Herself and her son, a rare occasion where they were both smiling. Michelle made no effort to conceal them. Logan was far too distracted to pay attention, but she wondered—if for a moment he did—would he look at the photo of her and a three-month-old Luc and notice that she looked around the same age as when they had first met?  

She hoped he wouldn’t. A bizarre fear persisted, that he would be disappointed in her if he learnt of her failings as a mother to his son. 

During the daytime, while Logan was down in the bunker preparing it to house the body, Michelle was tasked with monitoring the child. The form was so grotesque, so mangled and inhuman that she couldn’t bear more than a cursory glance. In the evenings she would prepare them a meal. Again, Logan would eat by the child, and though Michelle initially joined him, sitting on the lounge chair by the lamp, it became too awkward. The silence. The utensils scraping on ceramic plates. The hum of the alien pod.  

The meals became simpler as she began to run out of ingredients. She had put off her usual grocery run since his arrival, worried that if she left the property and one of her neighbours flew by and noticed a man leaving her podship hanger, it would arouse suspicion. Then she realised that if the locals didn’t see her at her typical weekly outing, they might come to the house to check up on her. That would be worse.  

She never bought fresh produce from the grocer, usually just the essentials—flour and sugar and meat. On this occasion, as she attempted to escape a conversation with chatty Madame Manon Bouchard, she spied a stand of fresh dragon fruit right by the milk aisle.   

“You don’t even have zucchini?” she had once asked Logan, as they stood together in his kitchen, his hands around her waist.  

He had laughed into her hair. “Now you’re just making up words.”  

Her attempt to make a good ragout with the limited ingredients in Artemisia had left her stumped. Seeing the luxuriant meals in the cafés and restaurants, she had assumed the sparkly city was teeming with cultivation. Logan informed her that that was only the case for the rich; the less fortunate—even a well-paid doctor as himself—had fewer options.  

She peeled the carrots, chopped them and tossed them into the pot. Then came the wine. Or what was left of it; the rest in their bellies.  

She looked over her shoulder, flicking his nose. “Don’t worry. If you come to Earth, I will make you all kinds of things. With zucchini and lychee and rhubarb and dragon fruit.”  

“Sure,” he agreed with a fond shake of his head. “I’ll try your imaginary dragon fruit.”  

Michelle was struck by such an unexpected pang of emotion that she didn’t notice Manon’s offended scoff as she wandered over to the stand mid-conversation.  

That evening, she made dragon fruit tartlets for dessert. She thought, briefly, to pair it with a ragout. But she thought that might be making it a little too easy for him.  

After dinner, Logan brought the plates into the kitchen and washed them in the sink. She never asked him to do this. He always did.  

“Here,” she said, placing a plate by the dishrack. Atop it sat a perfect tartlet, drizzled with cream from her cow and strawberries from her field. “This is for you.”  

He glanced at it. “Thank you.”  

Once he was done at the sink, he sat at the kitchen table and ate. His brow was furrowed, his mind always a thousand light-years away.  

“It’s dragon fruit,” she ventured, tracing her eyes over that brow, waiting for recognition.   

Logan nodded, took his final bite and brought this plate over to the sink. “Thank you, Michelle.”  

A jolt of pain rippled through her. She turned away from him, heading to the living room. “I’ll, uh, check on the princess.”  

His grunt was all to indicate that he’d heard her. But the fruit, the memories, she knew he hadn’t remembered at all.  

———

“She couldn’t imagine how this child could sleep for her entire life and then be expected to become a queen upon her return to society. But that would be Logan’s job, whenever he returned. There were years still before anyone would know who this child was going to become.” 

———

Eight years later, Logan stayed in the bunker while they were waking Selene up, as did Linh Garan. Scarlet could never learn of their presence, yet Michelle was beginning to suspect that even if her granddaughter was removed from the equation, Logan wouldn’t risk leaving the princess’s side. He was cautious, yes, but most of all, he was manically paranoid.  

She hadn’t believed he was losing his mind, but after weeks of observing him, in surgery and in conversation and at meals, she began to believe him.  

The risk of Scarlet discovering them put her on edge, too. Thankfully school had started up again that week, so they had at least a few hours in the daytime where they didn’t need to be as surreptitious. Even then, Michelle would tense; Scarlet—the little hothead she was—tended to get into arguments at school and stomp home without any warning to her grandmother. Today was a Sunday, and Michelle had sent her off to the neighbour’s house. Old Madame Boudreaux had needed someone to help her set up a new netscreen, and fortunately for Michelle, she had a propensity for forcing all house guests to learn the history of every knick-knack and porcelain doll in her museum of a home. Scarlet wouldn’t be able to leave for several hours yet.  

This was the only time Logan was willing to be parted from Selene, no, Cinder, five days before she was to be taken away to the Eastern Commonwealth. She was caked in gel, an insect freshly emerged from its egg, slimy and tinged green. She needed to be bathed.  

Michelle had been more than hesitant to bring the child into her home, but there was no running water in the bunker. It was too difficult to carry the girl up the ladder with old bones, so the task had fallen to Garan. Although the man was set to be her adoptive father, he was rather unnatural in holding her. She hoped it was simply a product of unfamiliarity and not a sign of what kind of father he would be to the princess.  

They took her inside the house while she was still asleep. It wasn’t much different from her waking state, except for the groaning and squirming. Then Logan and Garan left Michelle with her in the bathroom. She woke as Michelle began running a warm soapy cloth over her arms, dissolving the crusted gel. A proper bath would be too aggressive for her fragile skin, the joints between flesh and prostheses still red and inflamed.  

Michelle wished the girl had stayed asleep. Odd as it may seem, Michelle wasn’t quite adept at interacting with children. Her rather disastrous upbringing of her son proved that. She only bonded with Scarlet so easily because the little hothead was just as stubborn as herself. But with this blank slate of a child, Michelle felt almost awkward.  

She grasped the shower head and gently cupped Cinder’s scalp under her palm. “All right, Cinder. Let’s wash your hair.”   

Though the water was a safe tepid she flinched, eyes tearing open and hands scrambling to grasp the corners of the bathtub. Michelle murmured soothing shhs and it’s okay’s. For the first time since waking, she looked at Michelle, awareness filling her gaze, but with it, harshness.  

Logan had assured her that the child would not wake with the mental faculties of a toddler, that the brain stimulations had successfully advanced her to the comprehension level befitting her age. Michelle was secretly unconvinced. The girl moved in a haze, more like a newborn than even a three-year-old, as though she had regressed during stasis.  

But then she would cast a look at Michelle, long and loaded, and she would feel that she had been complicit in some crime.  

Nevertheless, the hair had to be washed, so Michelle used her free hand to still the girl as she soaked the hair from roots to ends. Cinder eventually gave up in squirming, limbs still too weak to offer any form of escape.  

She made quick work of the shampoo and conditioner. With her body carefully untouched by the stream, Cinder began to shiver.   

“All done, Cinder,” Michelle assured. She sat her up and wrapped a towel around her. “Do you want to try your walking?”  

Cinder remained motionless but allowed Michelle to lift her. She groaned as she heaved the child out of the bath and set her on the ground. “Ready?”  

Cinder took the smallest step forward on the tile and immediately lurched forward. Hands at the ready, Michelle was quick to stop her from falling. Righting her, she guided gently, “That’s okay. Let’s try again.”  

Garan had been teaching her to walk and had partial success thus far. A look of concentration encased the girl’s face now as she lifted her stiff foot and forced it in front of her.   

Cinder wobbled but stayed upright. She gripped Michelle’s hand tighter.  

Through several arduous steps and a few stumbles, they reached the bedroom. Michelle considered but decided not to repeat Garan’s encouragements. “You’re doing well,” “almost there,” “good job.” They were perfunctory. No number of pleasantries could coax a ship to fly or teach a horse to run. Cinder alone would decide if she walked.  

Michelle lowered her to the bed, reaching for the outfit she had laid out. “These are your new clothes, Cinder. I have another set for you to take as well.” 

Well, they weren’t new. They came from a box of Scarlet’s old clothes from last year. Michelle had planned to donate them to the local boutique de charité and that’s where Scarlet believed they currently were. Michelle had since found an equally charitable cause for them. She would wash the ones Cinder had lived in for the past week before sending them off in a duffel bag with the girl in tow.  

The goosebumps on her skin calmed as the fleecy cotton covered her arms. Cinder weakly tugged at the sleeves, trying to pull them down with little success until Michelle intervened.  

“You’ll have a new mother soon. She’ll help you get dressed if you’re still not ready yet.”  

Michelle shimmied the pants up her legs. Her fingernail accidentally grazed the link between flesh and metal on her thigh and Cinder whimpered. Michelle flinched.  

“Désolé, chérie.” She patted her leg soothingly, moving onto the socks. Then she stepped back to evaluate.  

She would be warm, at least. Not much could be done yet about the unnatural pallor of her skin. The hair, clean but still tangled, with split ends running up to the roots, now she could do something about that.  

Michelle found her salon scissors and brush, heaving onto her knees on the bed behind Cinder. Her muscles groaned as they rested on the unsteady surface and she swayed, but the scissors stayed firmly gripped in her fist. Cinder couldn’t be trusted around them yet.  

Her fingers picked up some chunks of hair and raked through them. The girl whined even at the slightest tug. “I know it doesn’t feel nice, Cinder” she said as she worked the brush through the ends. “But we have to push through the pain to make it better.”  

Her words had run ahead of her. As the bristles danced through the brown strands, she continued, “I’ve had to do that many times in my lifetime. As will you.”  

Cinder’s shoulders drooped. With the worst knots untangled, she was a statue. 

Satisfied, Michelle lay a towel on the quilt to catch the hair and began cutting. It was long—eight years’ worth of growth—and yet it was still uneven. Michelle had a vision of this girl as a 3-year-old with oozing pus in patches over her burnt scalp. They had since healed, but the hair was brittle in some parts more than others. A good ten centimetres off should even it out.  

Michelle feathered the ends, brushing the loose hair from her shirt. “All done. Would you like to see?”  

To Michelle’s astonishment, Cinder seemed to nod. It wasn’t exactly obvious—perhaps just a meaningless reflex—but perhaps it had been intentional.   

Michelle set the scissors on the towel. It took another test of patience to help Cinder stagger back into the bathroom and Michelle’s arms were aching with exertion from carrying her by the shoulders.  

Cinder took the last few steps on her own and gripped the bench, staring at herself in the mirror. Michelle watched her.  

No expression. No recognition. There was no mirror in the bunker. Did Cinder realise this was the first time she’d seen herself since she was a toddler? Did she even comprehend that it was her? Despite how much Logan swore that she had been educated, caught up to speed on normal childhood development, had it failed?  

Was this girl not a girl, but a dead soul’s consciousness forced into a machine, functioning only through robotics and wires and machinery?  

Michelle had to grip the towel rail to steady herself.  

How could this child become queen? How could she save them all?

“Selene,” she said suddenly, then immediately shook her head, “no, Cinder. You must listen to me.” She released the rail and took the girl’s shoulders into her hands. Cinder turned to face her.  

“Cinder. I don’t know what will happen. I don’t know if they will come for you. But whatever happens, you can’t let them take everything from you.” Michelle pressed her forehead against Cinder’s, awkwardness dispelled by the divine need to impart this instruction. She conjured every ounce of motherly wisdom that she had lacked with her son, and thought about what she would tell Scarlet, had Scarlet been the girl before her.  

“They have already taken so much from you. They will want to make you a leader. They will forget that you are just a girl.” She pulled away, her eyes imploring. “When they ask you to fight, you must learn to say yes. But when they ask everything of you, you must learn to say no.” Exhaling every breath she’d taken in over the past eight years, she asked, “Okay?”  

Cinder blinked slowly through full lashes. A minuscule light darted back and forth in her left eye. A bionic eye. Fake. Her heart. Brain. Lungs. All of it.  

Maybe synthetic eyes couldn’t light up with joy or with recognition. Maybe they couldn’t convey sadness or understanding. So maybe Cinder had been understanding Michelle this entire time. Michelle was the one who had been blind. 

Cinder’s mouth opened. She began to nod. Again, it could be a meaningless tick, but then, in the quietest voice Michelle had ever heard, she spoke.  

“...O–kay.”  

———

“Grand-mère, who is Logan Tanner?”  Her grandma brushed a light kiss against Scarlet’s forehead.  “He’s a good man, Scarlet. He would have loved you.”

———

 

Cinder began speaking sparsely, mostly nos and yeses and whys. She voiced her first full sentence on the day she left. 

“Where are we going?” she asked Garan as he buckled her into her seat in the hover. 

“We’re going home, Cinder,” he explained with a light tone. Once she was strapped in, he stepped away and the door slid shut. 

Garan turned to Michelle and Logan. “Well…” he trailed off. 

“Thank you again, Garan.” Logan said sincerely, taking his hand and shaking it. “This could not have been accomplished without your skills and discretion.” His tone became grave. “And for the danger you have inflicted upon yourself, I am truly sorry.” 

Garan shook his head. “Don’t be, Logan. I am honoured to play this role in shaping history.”  

Thus far, he had seemed to Michelle a curious savant, enticed more by the prospect of having a Lunar subject for his inventions than by the theophanic-like encounter with a resurrected myth. Yet he demonstrated now a trace of comprehension in his tight brow. He understood the risk of accepting this burden.  

He offered Michelle a nod and rounded to the other side of the hover. “Good-bye then.” Garan opened the door and slid inside. 

Michelle’s attention was entrapped by Cinder. She was staring right at her, blinking slowly, and Michelle suddenly felt cruel to not have parted with a hug, a kiss, a promise that everything would eventually work out. But Michelle could not feed such lies to this child. Cinder was somehow entirely different to the girl that had haunted the ground beneath Michelle’s feet for the past eight years. That had been Selene. Cinder was the one who had woken up. 

Mostly, Michelle was sad to send her off, sure in the deepest fissures of her heart that her new life in the Eastern Commonwealth would not be as ‘fine’ as Garan promised it to be. 

The hover lifted from the ground and picked up speed, yet Cinder’s searching brown eyes lingered down the full length of the driveway. 

Once the rattle of whirring motors faded and the disturbed dust had drifted back to the ground, only Michelle and Logan were left. 

They looked out to the road, three arm lengths apart. 

Michelle exhaled shakily. “Well, there she goes.” 

A grim nod. “She has to.” 

Michelle shifted slightly, halfway facing him. “You don’t trust him?” 

“I do…” he sighed. “I trust he won’t betray her to the authorities or treat her badly, I just don’t…” He pursed his lips. 

“Don’t what?” 

Logan clasped his hands together, not meeting her eyes. “Michelle, there is no one on Earth or Luna I trust more than you. If it hadn’t been so threatening to both her and your safety, I would want her under your protection for as long as possible. I don’t know that Garan will manage this burden in the way you have.” 

The honesty rocked her. So confessionally sweet, and yet so obvious in its failings. Because he shouldn’t trust her so, not when they had such a brief connection to begin with. Not when he probably had a life on Luna after her, maybe a wife and children; children that perhaps looked vaguely alike their own son. There was no room for such unbosoming, not for co-conspirators in treasonous affairs that would surely catch up to them both. 

But perhaps, wouldn’t have been nice if there was no Selene at all? If he had simply escaped Luna to find her, and if he could sleep in the house rather than the bunker? Sit across from her at the dining table and tell stories to Scarlet, whom he would surely adore?    “We are older than Garan,” she said soberly. “But he will learn—as we did.” 

He nodded distractedly, perhaps disappointed. Was he disheartened that she did not acknowledge his praise towards her?     If he was, he didn’t dwell on it. “I leave tomorrow. It would be too suspicious for me to follow the hover. Granted I’m still sane by the time I reach the Commonwealth, I’ll check on her, just for safety.” 

Right. He was losing his mind, or so he said. He seemed always to be present with her, but she did notice him losing his train of thought when conversing with Garan and becoming fidgety when Cinder would refuse their gentle prompts to practise walking. “...And if you’re not sane?” 

His eyes bored into hers, distant as though foreseeing the forthcoming years. “I’ve already done my work.” 

Her port chimed, an alarm reminding her that Scarlet would be due home soon. Michelle had essentially forced Scarlet to go spend the afternoon at a friend’s house, but she wouldn’t be deterred for too long. Logan needed to hide. “You’ll have to retire to the bunker for the night.” 

He stepped away. “Of course. Then this is goodbye.” 

She startled. “I won’t see you off tomorrow?” 

“Tomorrow is Saturday. On Luna, school children have the weekend off. I’m assuming it’s the same on Earth.” 

She’d forgotten, so terrified of Scarlet uncovering the confidential mission happening right under her nose that the days had blurred into insignificance. Logan never spoke of Scarlet, but they had all been aware of the oblivious bystander preventing them from acting in the open. “Right. I hadn’t realised.” 

Logan appeared to contemplate what he said next. “I am truly grateful to have known you, Michelle.” 

She pressed her lips, feeling twenty-nine again in everything but body. “Take care of yourself, Logan.” 

And then he was walking away. No embrace, no handshake or nod as Garan had exchanged.  

The wind whipped through her hair and the sunset before him cast a silhouette—an old man tramping through the crops. 

She hadn’t said it. That she trusted him impossibly more than anyone else, too. That this trust had long blurred the lines of devotion. Their fling was remembered as having lasted an entire lifetime. She wondered if she would soon regret her silence. 

Michelle turned and strolled back to the house. Two—diametrically opposed in direction, no longer having Selene to tether them together. But, with a hand on her chest, Michelle resolved that if Cinder reclaimed her throne, freed Luna and opened the way for Lunars and Earthens to have peace, she knew who she would fly to. 

———

“On Luna, I knew the man who brought you to Earth and performed your surgery. I tracked him down in an attempt to find you, but by then he’d already started to lose his mind. All I could get out of him was that you were somewhere here, in the Commonwealth.”  

Tell him good-bye

“Where is she?” 

Logan was shoved backwards, head lolling as the whiplash caught him. He dumbly flailed his hands but was too blindsided to direct a blow.  

Sage Darnel was much shorter than Logan, but he towered over him as Logan’s knees gave out. He crumpled to the ground. 

“Is she alive?” Sage demanded again, lugging him up by the collar. His sky-blue eyes were stormy and fierce and Logan couldn’t hold them. 

His breaths were shallow and irregular, mind vague and unfocused. He couldn’t remember where he was, why he was here… 

“Logan!” Sage barked. 

“Alive,” he gasped, wincing as nails dug into his flesh. “Alive. Barely.”  

When Sage had ambushed him outside the android dealer, Logan had taken off with the tenacity of a sprinter. But his internal compass failed him and Sage chased him down, cornering him in this alleyway.  

Sage snarled, his canines gleaming in the moonlight. “What do you mean?” 

“Broken,” bubbled from his lips. “Too broken. Bone and skin and ashes.” 

“What are you saying, Logan?” he spat. 

Princess Selene’s burnt corpse flashed past his vision. Blood and pus oozing from welts. Bones and skin mangled. Her charred eyes in his hands. Pieces of her brain sitting on his operating table. “I had to fix her.” 

“Fix what? Her body? From the fire?” 

Chopping and stitching and sawing and praying. “Metal and grafts.” 

His anger wilted with realisation. “She’s a cyborg, isn't she?” 

Stupidly, Logan thought that this shift might give him an advantage. He wrestled against the iron grip, sneering, “Levana sent you to take her!”  

Sage shoved him further up the wall, invading his space so closely that Logan could feel his breath on his chin. “I want to rip Levana apart with my own two hands and return Selene to her throne.” 

“Why?” he choked. 

“Because she killed my daughter. What’s your reason?” 

He had none, no personal stake, except for the sake of his country. “To fight her,” he settled on, not really knowing what it meant. 

“Good. So where is she?” 

Stars, how did they ever take this man’s daughter away from him? Logan was certain he was only a millisecond away from smashing his skull against the brick wall. 

“Logan!” 

“Commonwealth! The Eastern Commonwealth!” he cried, awaiting the blow.  

“Where? Where in the Eastern Commonwealth?” 

He couldn’t feel the blow, but it must have come. Why else was his brain screaming? His body burning hotter than a playhouse in a toddler’s nursery? Incoherent spluttering vomited from his mouth, breaths coming out but none able to come in. He was asphyxiating. He was bleeding. He was brainless. 

Sage’s frantic blue eyes were not enough to keep Logan’s attention. It was fixed at the end of the alleyway—a figure drenched in moon light approached. 

“Where?!” 

“Yes Logan, where? Where did you put her?” mocked Dr Eliot, her silhouette growing clearer. 

“I saved her, I swear!” Logan protested. 

Dr Eliot shook her head, expression vacant. Blood began to trickle down her scalp in rivulets, dripping down her eyelids and lips. Then the trickle turned into a stream, swimming down her white doctor’s coat and staining it, the blood black in the moonlight. 

“I did, I-I promise,” he stammered, “I did, I did, I did.” 

Thud. He was dropped to the floor. He barely noticed.  

“You’ve lost your mind,” Sage snarled and stomped down the alleyway, walking straight through the bloodied ghost.  

It began to rain. 

Logan lay on the damp, cold cement, heart palpitating and eyes unseeing. 

Yes, lost my mind, his mind thought, as Dr Eliot’s blood drifted from the sky and blanketed him. 

Yes, yes, yes, yes yes yes yes. 

———

Before he had lost his mind, it had been kind to him. He needed enough mental clarity to perform Selene’s surgeries. With that accomplished, his sanity promptly handed him a letter of resignation. 

Three months. Logan had elected to wait three months after leaving Michelle before following Garan into New Beijing. Three months before he surreptitiously checked on the child. Time was needed to put distance between Logan and Garan, to stamp out any suspicions of a connection. 

As the reins of timekeeping flung out of his hands—another consequence of the Lunar sickness—three months turned into two and half years. It was then that Sage Darnel found Logan and pinned him to the wall of the alleyway. How long Sage had been on Earth, Logan didn’t know. He no longer remembered how long he himself had been on Earth. 

His encounter with Sage only worsened his fear. It became even more imperative that he avoid the princess. He could only hope that Sage either never found her or that he was true to his word; that he too wished to see her enthroned. 

But any others lurking around, searching for the princess, may not share those motives. 

Logan lived as a nomad, moving from place to place, province to province and never staying long enough to become a local. When he had escaped Luna for Earth, he had left the pilot helping him all his assets, his home and his investments. In exchange, the pilot converted all of Logan’s savings into Earthen currency registered under his new false identity. He had enough to sustain him over the years, knowing there was no possibility of him working again. Not as a doctor, with a mind so demented. Not with the chance of another Lunar finding him. 

He was pitied by some, ignored by most. More than once was he asked if he had wandered away from his nursing home. Once he was robbed, his portscreen stolen from him. It had all his connections to Linh Garan, but Logan had programmed it to delete all incriminating evidence if ever it was opened by someone other than himself. Now he really had to trust in Garan, because he wouldn’t soon be able to reach him. 

Between harrowing visions that reduced him to a trembling ball on the floor and sleeping and eating and shuffling about, he had memories. His younger brother tossing him a ball. His elderly patient sobbing as he delivered a terminal diagnosis. In the library, reading about the atmosphere of Earth. The pictures did no justice to the true colour of the sky, someone had once told him….who? 

One day as he wandered aimlessly around a grocery store, bumping into androids and accidentally knocking over shelf displays, a kindly-looking young woman stopped him and asked if he had a wife she could call to come collect him. 

I don’t think so, he had said, and she smiled pityingly. 

Logan had almost married twenty years ago. Bright and cheery Evelyn Eliot, with the mousy blonde hair and always concerned grey eyes. She was the aunt of one of Logan’s students and an engineer in Artemisia’s maglev system. Logan grew to care for her. He never revealed to her how truly malcontent he was against the regime—he didn’t think she shared such sympathies. But she was kind, and he would not be unhappy with her. 

One afternoon, two months before their wedding date, she burst into the medical centre, face flushed with sweat beading her forehead. In a low whisper, she hastily told him that two guards had visited her at her work and reassigned her to outer sectors to strengthen the security of the maglev system. The people were becoming defiant, the risk they might try to cross borders growing greater. Evelyn didn’t want to leave. She promised him that she wouldn’t go. 

Perhaps Logan should have confessed his hatred of the monarchy to her, because perhaps then she would have been resigned to the knowledge that refusal was not an option. 

That night, Evelyn disappeared. Bioelectrically manipulated onto a maglev shuttle and shipped over to her new assignment in the outer sectors. With the laws prohibiting travel between sectors, she was never to return. With the two of them unmarried, Logan could not follow her. 

He resolutely gave up on all inklings of companionship and love after that. 

A week later, he’d stumbled upon his former student, now Dr Eliot, tearing up her office in a fury. She threw vitals scanners to the floor, smashed vials under her feet.  

“They took her!” she screamed, wrestling with a lab cart. It crashed to the ground with a furious smash! “They stole her just because they can! We’ll never see her again! I hate them, I hate all of them!” 

She raised a stethoscope, ready to hurl it but startled when she realised she was aiming it at him. 

A hand whipped over her mouth. “I don’t, I didn’t…I don’t despise the monarchy—I swear—” 

Logan hushed her with a held finger. “Be careful who you say those things around, Doctor.” And then in an impossibly low murmur, “Not everyone around here shares the same sentiments as we do.” 

Her eyes widened. 

They never spoke again of their shared resistance. But their bond was always stronger after that, even stronger than that of a mentor and a student. More than that of once-to-be uncle and niece. 

That must have been the reason why, when the nursery went up in flames, she sent for him rather than one of the younger, fitter doctors who could have raced over much sooner. Why when she was taken in to be questioned by Levana and her obsequious snake Sybil Mira, she entrusted Selene into his care. 

All he could remember now about Dr Eliot was the blood stretching the lengths of that alleyway. 

———

“I’ll try to keep an eye on her for as long as I can, but I’m not sure I will still be lucid enough to tell her the truth once she’s ready. It’s possible that responsibility will fall to Garan.” 

———

Linh Garan. ID #0082700743. Deceased 121 T.E. Cause of Death: Letumosis. 

It took a week for the understanding to pass through his haze of incomprehension. 121 T.E. That was four years ago. The girl must be now…oh…fifteen? 

It had all been prompted by a ring of blue bruises covering a dead man’s arms. Logan’s roommate—a young man kicked out of home by his ex-wife, almost as vague and aimless as Logan—had stumbled into the share house one day panting and dead-eyed. Logan’s medical training resurged, winning over his incognizance. He triaged the man, asking his symptoms, observing his breathing. When Logan took his wrist to check his pulse, he saw the bruises. 

The blue fever. He commed for an emergency hover from the man’s port and hid when the med droids came to collect him. 

Surely he had contracted it himself. It could take days for the symptoms of the plague to manifest, and they slept on opposite sides of the same room in twin beds. But if the med droids found him and took him, they would discover that he was Lunar. 

No, if he was going to die, he would do it here, hidden away. 

After three days of mania, fasting and acceptance, no symptoms arose. 

He couldn’t fathom a reason why he hadn’t caught it. No Earthen had ever recovered from the disease. Immunity. It had to be connected to his Lunar genealogy. Logan began to posit that Lunar defectors like himself had brought it to Earth in the first place. 

The second realisation came as he was absentmindedly watching a newsfeed about the cyborg draft in the Eastern Commonwealth. If Selene was called in for the draft, exposed to the disease and found to be immune, she would become a subject of curiosity. Garan must be warned. 

He had never once contacted Garan since he took the princess, dreading that someone could hack his portscreen and connect the dots. But as he now searched his profile on the portscreen he claimed from his deceased roommate, he discovered the truth. 

Garan was dead. Gone only weeks after he’d taken the princess away. Now who could tell her of her own identity? Garan and himself were the only ones who knew. Sage still evidently had not found her. 

And… 

And Michelle. 

He hadn’t consciously thought of her in a while. He was occasionally reminded of her; a French voice in a newsfeed, a smell of earth and dirt reminiscent of her farm, some dish filling his belly with the warmth of one of her stews. 

Even now, just at thought of her, a taste of something fruity and tangy coated his tongue.  

He expelled the aching from his chest. Michelle was so much wiser than him. She could help the girl become queen. If he could find Selene and bring her back to Michelle…no, that would endanger Michelle. He couldn’t. 

Logan would find Linh Cinder and tell her the truth himself. 

———

It took three months to reach New Beijing from where he had been decaying in Uzbekistan. Travel was near impossible with no mental legs to stand on, and Logan kept going in circles, catching the wrong maglevs, seeing visions along the way that caused him to flee in the opposite direction. This he could try to push past, but gradually he became more and more certain that he was being followed. Something was chasing him, observing him, but every time he turned around, the pursuer disappeared. 

Finally, a backpacker took pity on him and took him under his wing, guiding him through maglevs and hostels until they reached a suburb just outside the grimy, charming capital of the Eastern Commonwealth. They parted ways amicably at the doorstep of the Linh residence, a squat home among rows of identically small abodes, all with worn awnings, chipped paint and litter strewn across the footpath.  

The house immediately to the left had a broken window, glass shards spilled on a patch of weeds. Logan was well accustomed to less than pleasant lodging, but even this street curdled his stomach. 

“I hope you can find your grandson, my brother,” said the kind traveller. He flashed a two fingered salute. “Peace and love, man.” 

“Thank you,” said Logan, sort of wishing he remembered the free spirit’s name. Once the rickety shuttle hover trundled away, Logan pressed the bell. 

Silence. He pressed the button again two more times. This was the address listed under Garan’s name; Logan had confirmed it at least fifty times a day. Finally after the fourth ring an anxious looking woman appeared, cracking the door open by a sliver and peeking out. 

“H-hello,” he stammered. “Are–are you...Linh Adri?” 

She shook her head quickly. 

Breathing heavily, he frowned. “You’re not?” 

“No.” 

Logan blinked rapidly. As the woman began to close the door, he shouted, “Wait!” 

Her hand halted. 

“Do you know where Linh Adri is? Or…Linh…Linh Cinder?” 

Her guarded eyes softened, the most infinitesimal change, but noticeable in her tone when she spoke, “The mechanic?” 

“...Pardon?” 

“That girl. Linh Cinder. I don’t know where she lives now. But the neighbours here remember her. She used to fix their water heaters and portscreens. They say she’s a mechanic now.” 

“Where? Do you know?” he blurted loudly, stepping closer. 

She backed away, hands braced defensively. “New Beijing Market. That’s all I know!” 

Then she slammed the door. 

Linh Cinder. He never dared to netsearch her name. He struggled even to say it aloud. Every corner he turned, some vision was there to taunt him, singing the name again and again in a dissonant melody, mocking him. They would find her. They would take her.  

A flash caught his eye. Something, someone appeared—just for a moment. He scanned the street, trying to identify the figure, but there was nothing. Goosebumps erupted on his arms, but he shook off the panic. Still, some premonition deep in his gut insisted the apparition was real. Was familiar. 

Logan stumbled away from the porch, took out his portscreen, and punched in New Beijing Market. 

———

“Scarlet couldn’t bring herself to tell her grandmother that Logan Tanner was dead. Had gone crazy. Had killed himself.” 

———

The hover spat him out at New Beijing Market. It was exactly the sort of place Logan hated to be now; crowded, loud, confusing and hot. His internal compass misfired amongst the cramped booths and overwhelming din. In places like this, he would only escape once the sun was setting and shopkeepers were pulling down the rollers. 

He stumbled forward, moved by a greater purpose. 

His eyes scanned every booth around him, searching for anything resembling a mechanic’s haven. He remembered Garan’s tools and contraptions, the gleam in his eye when Cinder’s metal toes twitched for the first time as he tweaked wires and screwed joints shut. Perhaps he had trained her as a mechanic... 

No. It had only been weeks after he collected the princess that the plague had claimed him. Had Garan blamed her for catching the disease? Did he blame Logan? 

He turned a corner, and there Garan stood. 

His stomach climbed up to his throat. It was him. He was the one who had been stalking him across the Commonwealth. Garan stared at him, eyes unblinking and bloodshot. His arms were ringed with bruises, fingers blue and shrivelled. Green foam spluttered from his lips. 

“Logan,” he growled, clear all the way across the lane. “Come here.” 

Logan turned and bolted. 

Startled pedestrians jumped out of his way as he charged past, clutching their bags to their chests. Mothers tore their children off the path. 

Soon, visions were everywhere. Sage Darnel slithering out of a booth and grabbing him by the throat. His roommate’s corpse writhing on the ground, crying out, cursing him. He was already expecting Dr Eliot’s bloody appearance. Though she taunted him, he was familiar with this vision.  

Visions. That’s all they were. Unreal. Psychotic. 

The ground swallowed him up. The traffic of the passersby threaded around him—all at once, he knew every single one of them. Thaumaturges. Doctors. Aristocrats. The entire city of Artemisia was here on Earth, at this market, trampling him. His eyes squeezed shut. A hand lifted his chin towards the sky. 

He squinted painfully up into the sunlight. 

Queen Levana crouched over him, blood trickling down the tines of her crown and dripping off her lashes. 

Pebbles dug into his palms as he scampered away, but she made haste to follow.  

“Sir!” came from her mouth, unnaturally earnest from those smirking lips and ravenous eyes. “Sir, are you okay?” 

“Go–go away!” he shrieked. 

“Sir, what’s wrong? Do you need a doctor?” Do you have someone I can comm to get you? Children? A wife?” 

Logan scrambled to his feet and barrelled away from the queen. 

A wife. Yes, he had once almost had a wife. Steady hands calloused from digging into dirt. Teasing brown eyes. 

No…the woman he had almost married—what was her name?—she’d had blonde hair and grey eyes. Who was he thinking of? Who was he looking for?  

He was looking for…looking for… 

“Logan.” 

She stood amidst the crowd, ten paces away. Every shouting vendor and sizzling frypan silenced in the void. 

“Michelle,” he uttered. 

She was as young as she’d been when they met. Melting brown eyes. Lips beckoning him. 

Her smile was warm. “Come on, Logan. Let’s go home.” 

People swarmed around him. A woman blocked his view momentarily and once she passed on, Michelle had disappeared. 

His head whipped around frantically, searching for her in every direction. Her voice was ringing in his ears. “Michelle!” he shouted, blindly crashing into a fruit stand and hobbling away, completely unaware of the surprised gasps and curses chasing him. 

The visions transformed. Michelle’s redheaded granddaughter peering at him from a booth table. A boy tossing a ball at him, he recognised as the boy in the pictures on Michelle’s wall. The boy who looked so much like his own brother. 

Twisting and turning through lanes, only spotting glimpses of her hair and smile before they’d disappear again, his calves finally seized up. He folded over his knees, intaking needy breaths as his eyes scanned around desperately. 

They landed on a girl. 

Despite her decent height, she was obviously young. She stood behind a table in a shaded booth, tools splayed out before her. Grease was spotted over her exposed arms and gloves. She was staring in concentration at the body of a woman who lay on her table, limp and dull-eyed. Logan cringed as she reached a hand into the woman’s open stomach.  

Had he wandered into some illicit part of the market where someone would dissect a person so openly?  

It wasn’t until the girl tilted the body slightly that Logan saw her innards of cogs and wires. The body was an android. One of those escort droids, perhaps. 

The girl huffed, blowing miscreant hair from her brow, and looked up. 

At first, she darted her gaze away upon noticing being observed, tugging her left glove higher up her wrist. But then a flash of curiosity caught her face, and she returned to him. 

Confusion. Something else. Recognition? 

Logan wondered if she would be able to help him with his search. She looked kind. Trustworthy. He needed help to find… 

“Logan.” 

Michelle smiled down at him. She appeared this time, not as her younger self, but as he’d last seen her. Greying hair, smile lines and jowling more beautiful than ever. The same spirit and open hands, a magnetism drawing him to her. 

“It’s time to come home, Logan,” she said, eyes twinkling. 

“Not yet,” he spluttered, “I have to find someone. I have to tell…” 

She shook her head in amusement, turning and gesturing to him to follow. “You already found me.” 

“I—” 

She was gone. He couldn’t pinpoint the moment she was there and the moment she wasn’t, but he knew she had been there. That was she out there somewhere, waiting for him. 

Sweet, Michelle-flavoured adrenaline pumped through his veins. He always wanted to find her. After nearly forty years, she was still the only one to have truly owned his heart. He needed to find her and tell her… 

He staggered to his feet. He wasn’t supposed to be here. There was nothing for him here. His gaze again caught on the young girl in the booth. Shoulders set in a hesitant confidence. Brown eyes—cautiously curious.  

His feet willed him away on their own towards the bright sunlight. 

“Logan,” the voice called again, sweet as a dragon fruit tartlet. One he could almost taste as his dry lips formed around her name.  

No, he wasn’t looking for that girl. He was looking for Michelle. 

———

“I hope you’ll meet him someday. Tell him hello for me. Tell him good-bye.” 

———

Notes

Tu me cherchais? = Were you looking for me?

I am aware that I am delusional and no one else is as invested in them as I am.

Fun bit of impossiblesuitcase trivia--the hair cutting scene is actually a deleted scene from my Cut, Comb, Detangle, Repeat series! I think probably only one person remembers that series 😂

Eagle-eyed readers may be able to notice which escort droid Cinder is working on 👀

@cindersassasin @hayleblackburn @spherical-empirical @salt-warrior @just2bubbly @gingerale2017 @slmkaider @luna-maximoff-22 @kaixiety @snozkat @mirrorballsss @skinwitch18 @bakergirl13 @cyborgcourt @linh-cindy @therealkaidertrash21

[gingerale2017]

A Moment for Jealousy

Fluff Words: 2k Pairing: Cinder Linh x Kai Fandom: The Lunar Chronicles Setting: Dating AU post-college Warnings: None that I know of Ao3 Link

“Stars, you’re kidding right?” Seventeen-year-old Cinder asked her then-boyfriend at the time.

He smiled like a moron and giggled. “Darlin’ I know what I’m doin’. Have some trust, will ya’?”

Cinder sighed, though he was an idiot, she adored when he faked a deep southern drawl. At least she did before he annoyed her to death.

Naive, dumb, desperate teenager Cinder.

Blue eyes sparkling up at her, he turned on the bike and sped away without adjusting his helmet all the way first.

“Wait! Your helmet!” She cried but he was too far gone.

By the time he came back, she was waiting for him with a grumpy expression on her face.

“What’s with the frown?” He asked, innocently raising an eyebrow.

She scowled. “That was dangerous. Don’t do that again.”

He smiled, ignoring her. “That was glorious, thanks for fixing up the bike for me, hey.”

“Thorne, I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” He laughed. Then he tried to kiss her. She dodged his mouth and backed away.

“What’s with the attitude, babe?”

“Don’t call me that!” She whipped around and walked away.

He grabbed her hand and turned her back around. “Seriously, what’d I do now?”

“What do you mean ‘what I do now?’”

“I mean, you’re always mad at me for something-”

“I told you why I’m mad at you, and you don’t listen to me!” She cried. Stars above, she wanted to slap this guy.

“Yeah, and it’s stupid!-“ She actually slapped him. “Hey! What the hell?!” He spat out.

“I’m done, Thorne. I hate this relationship and I hate you-“

“WHY?! WHAT’D I DO?!”

“Don’t cut me off.” Cinder lifted a gloved finger and glared at him into silence. He felt her quiet threat and quieted down. “You never listen to me and you always do what you want. I’m done trying to mother you around all the time.”

He stared at her for a moment. Then he said the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard in an argument before. “Aw, come on. Y’know I got mommy issues.”

She yelled curses at him and broke up with him. Then she walked away without turning back.

“You’re kidding, he actually said that?” Kai said, giddy like a mother gossiping on Facebook.

Twenty-seven-year-old Cinder nodded. “Yup.”

“Come on! At least it was funny!” Thorne said, scrambling for a defense.

Kai began to choke with laughter. “You are SO embarrassing, dude!”

Thorne scowled. “You’re not much better.”

Kai cocked his head as if he sensed a challenge. “I’m a better boyfriend, though.”

“Okay, let’s not go there.” Iko crawled towards the middle of their circle where they sat on the floor. Iko sensed some sort of animosity going on, one that Cinder definitely missed.

“Go where?” Asked Thorne innocently.

“Jealousy wars.” Iko said without explaining.

Kai scrunched his eyebrows. “What jealousy? No one’s jealous, I mean, how could I?”

Iko side-glanced at Cinder who was playing with the rug. Oh, why couldn’t this girl comfort her own boyfriend before his mind spiraled with jealousy? He only found out about Cinder and Thorne tonight because Cinder never thinks of it as important. Telling your partner that you dated your current best friend that you still hang out with often is pretty important. At least to Iko, it was. And she had the sense it was pretty important to Kai too.

“I’m hungry! Scarlet!!! Hurry!!!” Iko whined.

“What am I, your personal chef? Give me a second.” Scarlet yelled back.

Iko sniffed at the insult. “Sorry!” She cried. Kai and Thorne laughed about some separate joke. Good, it didn’t seem to affect them that much.

Yet, throughout the whole night, Iko couldn’t help but notice how Kai would watch Cinder talk with Thorne, and when during those interactions he would get close to Cinder and just stand there. How he made a face when Cinder sat next to Thorne at dinner. How he offered to help Cinder with every action she made. How he kept interrupting Thorne when he talked to her. Thank the stars Cress wasn't here. Who knows how that tiny overthinker would rack her brain?

When it was time to leave, Cinder and Kai were the first to leave. She hugged everyone goodbye, including Thorne. To everyone else, including the ones hugging, it looked like a normal embrace. To Kai, it felt as if Thorne’s hands were a little too low on her back. He completely forgot Thorne had Cress, whom he absolutely adored, waiting back home.

The drive to Kai’s apartment was spent in comfortable silence, at least to Cinder. Kai’s mind kept working itself, saying not to worry, nothing was going on! That was ten years ago. It was also saying that if they had feelings for each other once, they could have it again.

Oh, but they did have feelings for each other. Feelings of familial love. But Kai refused to acknowledge that. Poor guy was always self-sabotaging himself.

What did she even see in that douchebag anyways? She kept commenting on his blue eyes and his recklessness. Kai had brown eyes and was quite precautious. They were so different.

“Hey, darling?” He murmured while they were stopped at a light. She looked at him.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“Nothing, I just never thought you and Thorne never would’ve dated. You guys are basically like siblings.”

She cringed. “We are. That’s what makes that whole situation horrible. One of my biggest regrets.”

“I know. But how did you even… I don’t know how to phrase this.” The light turned green.

“Fall for him?” She groaned. “Aces, I don’t even know. I think I never did actually, and I misread my feelings for him. They were supposed to be platonic, that’s why romance didn’t, and never will, work out for us.”

She smiled at him, but he continued to worry his lip. “What’s wrong?” She asked.

“Nothing.” He said said non-reassuringly. They pulled into the apartment complex parking lot.

“You sure?” She hesitated before continuing as he parked. “You aren’t jealous, are you?”

“NO!” He jumped, slamming the brakes. She yelped as her body flew forward. He set the gears in park and apologized.

Cinder laughed at the revelation, even when he opened the door for her, and stared with discontent. “Kai, I can’t believe it!” She snorted. “You’re jealous of Thorne!”

“I’m not!” He yelped, helping her out of the car. “Never say that again.” Him? Kai Prince? Jealous? Unlikely. Jealous of Carswell Thorne? Highly unlikely.

She kept teasing him until they reached his unit. As they walked in, Kai kept trying to think of ways to convince her he wasn’t jealous when she calmed down.

“There’s nothing to be jealous of, Kai.” She murmured, getting close to him.

He gulped as she smiled. She was so pretty, it almost hurt him. Kai didn’t even think twice when he pressed her against the door and kissed her.

Cinder made a surprised sound that he muffled with his mouth before getting lost in the kiss. He moved his hands up and down her body with the pace of their movements. When they sped up, he squeezed her waist and kissed her deeper, enough to manufacture another sound out of her. He couldn’t help his smile, effectively breaking their kiss. She smiled back up at him.

An idea sprouted in the corner of his mind that he subconsciously chose to act on. Once they caught their breath, he moved to the length of her neck. Kai did this often, and Cinder noted it as one of his favorite ‘moves’. She wasn’t wrong.

This time, though, as pressed himself against her he murmured: “I bet he didn’t kiss you like this, right?”

The vibrations of his voice were deep enough to send shivers down her body. “No one ever has, Kai.” Cinder was barely able to whisper back. Her hand slid up to the base of his neck where she absent-mindedly pulled on the baby strands there.

He chuckled against her skin, she held on to him tighter. “I hope no one ever does. Besides me, of course.” He said breathlessly, too preoccupied with pleasing her.

He began to kiss her again but Cinder froze. She couldn’t tell what about his phrasing threw her off, but some part of it did. It knocked right out of that ‘kissing headspace’ or zone, whatever you call the haze you’re in while making out.

He didn’t get the hint and continued to kiss her neck, wrapped in his desire.

“Kai?” She started. He didn’t budge. “Kai, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.”

He froze, immediately pulling away. “What happened?” He panicked as his brow furrowed as he continued to hold her near to him.

“Nothing!” She scrambled, noticing the hurt look on his face. “Just give me a second.”

“What’d I do?” He asked, practically begging her for an answer with his eyes.

Cinder blinked. Virtually nothing about their relationship reminded her of the disaster that was her and Thorne, but his little ‘What’d I do?’ was oddly similar to Thorne and their breakup day.

Except when Thorne said it, he was accusatory and angry. Kai looked like a kicked puppy.

She smiled, trying to reassure him by rubbing his cheek with her thumb. “I know you feel about me, and that you love-”

“Endlessly, I love you eternally, darling.” He butt in.

She gave him a knowing glance that told him to let her finish. “You love me endlessly, got it. And I love kissing you, don’t get me wrong. You’re a very good kisser.”

Kai smiled proudly. She continued. “But I don’t want you to kiss me like you have something to prove.”

He cocked his head, confused. “I don’t understand.”

She sighed. “I don’t know how to say this. Bottom line: you’re jealous and you want to prove to me that you’re better than my small list of exes.”

Kai was speechless, a rarity amongst his characteristics.

She squeezed his cheeks with both hands. “Trust me, Kai. I already know you’re better than all of them. You don’t have to prove it to me.” Cinder rubbed his arms, pleading with her eyes. “Just kiss me.”

He chewed on his lip, a habit he picked up from her. “Just kiss you?”

“Yeah, just kiss me.” He was still confused but was trying not to seem like he was. She could tell. “I just want to get this out; I also get jealous sometimes.”

He sputtered. “Of what?!”

“Your not-so-small list of exes.” She said with a raised eyebrow.

He softened, petting her sides. “Oh, Love, there’s nothing to be jealous of.”

“Even when I don’t look like that one model you dated? I was thinking about curling my hair like hers once.”

“No, of course not! You don’t have to change anything about yourself. The way you are is the reason I fell in love with you.”

Cinder sighed dramatically. “How do I know that I’m better for you than her? How do I prove that to you?”

He leaned closer to her, trying to convince her of what she already knew. “You don’t have to prove anything to-” He paused, suddenly shutting his eyes.

“Oh, I see.” He said, finally. He dug his head into the crook of her neck like an embarrassed ostrich.

A ridiculous smile broke out on her face. “You see, babe?” She laughed, petting his hair.

“I’m sorry.” He said, muffled by her skin.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” She kissed his ear. “I forgive you regardless.”

He pulled away and flashed her with sparkling puppy-dog eyes. “In that case, can I kiss you again?”

She smiled. “Of course.”

A/N: Basically this is more of a practice for a type of writing style i’m trying out, though i don’t know if i dod it well. also i personally love writing kai jealous, it’s one of my favorite past times. i would have done this more differently if i thought about it more, but this is a quick fic. hope you enjoy regardless. also, I DO NOT SHIP CINDER AND THONRE. hopefully this fic will forever serve as evidence.

tagging: @just2bubbly @cinderswrench @cindersassasin @the-wee-woo-royal @deprivedmusicaljunkie @crescentchat @wheresmymom-imlost @salt-warrior @rapunzelfromthemoon @briggycat @impossiblesuitcase @kaider-is-my-otp @definitelynotisabel @wassupnye @therealkaidertrash21 (these are for my kaider ONLY fics so please ask if you want to be tagged or removed <3)

[creampuffqueen]

Creampuffqueen Account Birthday Fic Bash!!!

Hello all my dear friends and followers!! Today is this account's sixth birthday, which is just wild to me. It's hard to believe I've been on tumblr for that long, but here we are. I just wanted to come on here and say how grateful I am for this account and all of the lovely friends I've made from it!

And, as a celebration, both of this account's birthday and the 400 follower milestone I recently passed, I will be opening up my fic requests!

It's been quite a while since I've done this, and it will likely be a long time before I do it again once this is over, so please take advantage of it while y'all can! I'm very excited to create things from my lovely followers' favorite characters and ships!

Now, there are a few rules/guidelines for this. Please take the time to read these before requesting!

When you send in a request, please send in the characters/ships you want AND some kind of prompt. it can be a quote, it can be one of those ship prompt things from a list, it can be some ideas and a general vibe. But please give me something to work with!

If I've posted for the fandom before, it's fair game. This is a multifandom blog and I enjoy all kinds of media. It doesn't matter how long ago it was, if you saw me post for that fandom then I will be down to write for it

These don't all have to be ship fics as I'm more than happy to write gen/friendship focused fics. If you do send in a ship, just note that for the most part I enjoy canon ships over non-canon ones. That's not to say I won't do something non-canon, not at all. But if you're stuck between two ships and one is canon while the other isn't, I'm more likely to enjoy the canon one. If you have a question about a particular ship, please feel free to send in an ask and I will let you know my thoughts on it!

Please keep all prompts SFW

BABYFICS!!! they are my specialty and I love writing them. If you've been craving seeing your favs with cute babies, this is the place to request it. Just putting this out here as I know babyfics aren't a lot of peoples' jam (which is totally cool) but they are mine! In fact they're some of my favorite things to write ;)

I reserve the right to refuse any request. If I won't write it, I will do my best to answer your ask with why so you can send another request if you want

You can send in multiple requests, but please keep in mind that I am just one person, and a busy college student at that. Please have patience! I will be doing my absolute best to get all of these written in a timely manner, but life happens, and I won't be sacrificing grades/personal life for these, no matter how excited I am to write them

I know that's kind of a lot but I want to keep things as streamlined as possible so everyone can request things easier!

Fic requests will remain open for a week or two, depending on how many I get. The fics themselves will be pretty short, probably ~1000 words each, give or take, so I don't burn myself out by writing all of them. This post will be my pinned post for as long as requests are open, and I will remove it once they are closed.

Happy requesting!! I can't wait to see everyone's ideas! Thanks for participating in my account's birthday bash!

For examples of my writing:

Writing Masterlist

Ao3 Account

[ibismessage]

Fic Recomendations

I'm not sure if this will reach anyone, but I made this tumblr because I've been having a particular hankering for The Lunar Chronicles fanfiction. I've been looking for some fluffy fics, and some fics that dive into the Lunar Gift in an interesting way.

I definitely intend to write my own, but I really need something to decompress after this past week. If someone has any good Lunar Chronicles fics they can recommend, send them my way!

I'd also be interested in the following fandoms:

Mouthwashing (post-game, or jumbotron-less aus)

Legend of Zelda (always my fluff go-to)

Batman

Avatar the Last Airbender (where my zukka shippers at???)

Basically, feel free to use this post as a dumping ground for fics, I'd love to read them and escape for a while! <3

[cyborgcourt]

GUYS.

Look at her little baby hand just dangling and those lashes aw. Plus the red lips okayyy. My girl came out the womb serving since day 1

[salt-warrior]

I’m weeks late, but happy birthday, @cosmicnovaflare! Thanks for being my oldest and dearest tumblr friend. I hope you enjoy this fic, dedicated to you and all your ancientness<3

Wildest Dreams

Summary: Kai wakes up before Cinder, and she wonders what’s up with him. (WC: 1.3k)

Cinder awoke to the gentlest caress down her nose. In years past, a sensation of such a sort would have startled her—eyes open, body out of bed. But her head was filled with softest sleep, and she felt safe here, warm, as if all were right and good in the world.

She let out a soft hum, tilting her face upward as Kai’s fingers traced the curves of her cheeks, the line of her brow, the arch of her lips. She heard him laugh, a low sound so early in the morning. A smile claimed her face, and she opened her eyes to see Kai, propped up on one arm as he looked down upon her, hair clouding his eyes, the faintest blush decorating his cheeks.

“What are you doing awake so early?” Cinder asked, raising her chin to accept his kiss.

Kai rolled his eyes. “I can wake up before you.”

“You never do.”

“Now that’s just not true.”

Cinder propped herself up to look at him, eyes as level as they were mischievous. She poked him in the chest. “Name one time.”

“Oh, don’t you start.”

She laughed, then flopped back down on her pillow, pulling him toward her, his face pressing into the crook in her neck as he mumbled inaccurate words in his defense that only made Cinder laugh harder. Her fingers played with the ends of his hair, her spare arm creeping around him to hug him close.

“What?” Cinder asked when Kai mumbled something she couldn’t quite hear.

“I said I love hearing your laugh in the morning,” he said. “It’s the only thing that makes waking up worth it.”

Cinder felt her heart pinch, as it so often did where Kai was concerned. Once, she hadn’t been sure whether she was capable of love—whether she would ever have it in her life. Between Adri and Pearl and everyone else who regarded her as a monster because she was a cyborg, she hadn’t thought it possible that another person would want her. Would love her. Would be happy to wake up beside her in the morning. She didn’t think she would ever get over her own surprise. That she would get over how dearly she loved Kai.

Shifting, Kai pulled back, resting his face on her pillow, their faces only inches apart. The soft glow of the sun’s gentle haze bled through the window, shedding warmth and light on them both. Their hands, resting upon the bed’s cover, met and twined together. Kai brought the back of her hand up to his lips, then rested their joined fingers below his chin. She watched him all the while, until his eyes met hers, unmatched in understanding, and she wondered where she would be if not for him.

“Today’s our anniversary,” Kai said, voice quiet. “That’s why I woke before you. Although, let the record show that this is not the first time this has happened.”

Cinder blinked, her chest tightening. Her brain interface conjured the day’s date, and she shook her head, confused.

“Kai, our wedding was in—”

“I’m not talking about our wedding anniversary,” Kai cut in, rolling his eyes once again. Had her heart not been racing, Cinder would have told him—not for the first time—that if he continued to roll his eyes as much as he did, they might stay that way.

“Then what are you talking about?”

“The anniversary of the day we met. It’s been five years. Five years since I came to your booth in the marketplace. Little did I know I was about to meet the love of my life.”

Cinder scoffed. “If I remember correctly, you thought I was supposed to be an old man.”

“Once again, you were not what I was expecting,” Kai said dryly. “But if you had been an old man, I probably would have still fallen in love with you.”

“You were that desperate to get out of marrying Levana?”

“Definitely. But in your defense, I think you would make an attractive old man.”

“Gee, thanks,” Cinder said, struggling to maintain a straight face.

“But I’m glad you’re not an old man. To be clear,” Kai added. He blew a little puff of air at her face, scattering her bangs. She scowled at him. “I like you just the way you are.”

Cinder watched his face, that little piece inside of her that doubted herself—that piece that spoke in Adri and Pearl’s voices—waited for him to laugh. To say he didn’t mean it.

He did not laugh. Instead, he watched her intently, every action reassuring. His thumb rubbed the back of her hand. Her fingers squeezed his tighter.

“You’re my favorite part of every day,” Kai said, his voice completely sober. “I woke up this morning wondering where I would be if not for you. And I realized that I would likely be dead. My brain manipulated, my body and title used until Levana got what she wanted, before she killed me. A knife to the heart, the plague, my own hand turned enemy.” Cinder let go of his hand and pressed hers to his cheek, brushing hair and wetness from his eyes.

“I never thought I would have the opportunity to marry for love,” Kai continued. “I never thought I would be with someone that I even liked. In all my wildest dreams, I could have never imagined you. You saved me. You saved us all.”

“It’s not something I did alone.”

“But it’s something that no one else could have done,” Kai said. “Help or no help, no one could have stood in your place and united Earth and Luna. You did what both my father and I failed to do.”

“Kai . . .”

He smiled at her. “I’m grateful, that’s all. And proud. And so unbelievably happy.”

“Me too,” Cinder said. “Five years ago, the best I could hope for was my own emancipation. To run off to Europe with Iko. I never could have imagined you, or our friends, or intergalactic peace. It just��sometimes I worry that I’m going to wake up and discover that it was all just a dream.”

Kai shifted his face beneath her hand to kiss her palm, his own hand circling her wrist. “It’s not a dream,” he whispered. “My imagination definitely couldn’t have conjured finding Princess Selene at the marketplace. Or you escaping prison with an American convict. Or me being kidnapped on my wedding day. Or anything else that happened. It’s too crazy.”

“You’re right,” Cinder laughed. She wondered why, five years later, Kai was thinking of the first time they’d met. Not once in any of the other years of them knowing one another had either of them brought it up. There were always more pressing anniversaries to consume the mind in the middle of August. Rikan’s death. Peony’s. But perhaps time was allowing them to move forward—not to forget, but to make room. Maybe time—space, everything—let the light shine through, gave them the eyes to see the good that had happened with the bad.

Cinder would never not miss Peony, just as she knew that Kai would never not miss his father. That grief and pain would always be a part of them, but so would all the joy and peace that they brought one another.

She leaned forward, pressing her lips to Kai’s. It was a sweet, slow kiss, tangled with five years of knowing and loving one another. Of making it through everything, of proceeding in the world together.

“I’d do it all again,” Kai said when they broke apart. “Just to be here now with you.”

Cinder kissed the tip of his nose, a smile playing on her lips. “Me too.”

[theviolettulip]

I'm refering specifically to fics that have more than one fandom, but it's all part of the same challenge. Would you prefer all chapters together or each one being a seperate fic in a series? Like how Ao3 has the option to make a series.