#the lunar chronicles fanfiction

[impossiblesuitcase]

Hope In It

“The queen is dead! The queen is dead!”

Imperial Adviser Konn Torin’s hand paused mid-air from where it had been directing bodies to a bay of ships.

“The queen!” screeched the young woman, rushing into the crowd of diplomats. She was plainly dressed in a beige tunic—the rank of a servant, and Torin didn’t think he’d ever seen one of Luna’s maltreated servants acting of their own volition.

The clatter of Lunar aristocrats and frightened Earthen leaders filled the loading docks. Since the emperor had threatened to bomb the protective biodomes, the crush of people were practically clambering over one another to board the ships. They hadn’t heard any updates on the situation unfolding in the throne room since Kai had raced off to find Linh Cinder.

“What? What does she mean?” reverberated off the walls. People stopped on the ramps of the ships, watching on curiously.

“Queen Levana is dead! She was shot!” the servant choked out. Her cheeks were coated in tear tracks, her eyes manic. Torin wondered if this state of delirium had arisen from loyalty to the queen, or rather, disbelief that the tyrant could be truly dead.

“No!” cried an older man, whom Torin recognised as from one of the Lunar families. His age was only apparent from the startled slip into his natural, worn voice. Recomposing, he asserted, smooth and youthful, “This is just speculation!”

“Princess Selene shot her!” She circled aimlessly, recycling the news to every guest that would listen. “The queen was shot! She’s dead!”

A hundred murmurs repeated those words under their breath. The Lunars connected eyes in horror—and some—feigned sympathy. 

The Earthens barely held back raucous cheers.

Torin’s ears tingled. He was not a man wont to extreme emotional fluctuations, but this news almost stopped his heart. Could it be true?

Realisation swiftly cloaked him. Kai went in search of Linh-dàren. If the Princess did shoot Levana, what other blood might have been shed? 

Kai.

He abandoned his position as sentinel and reached a fellow Commonwealth representative. “Ensure that everyone remains here until you receive an all-clear,” he instructed. “We cannot yet substantiate this claim. I will go and locate His Majesty.”

“We will wait for your return,” the man replied, bowing.

Torin shook his head as his mind paced two, three, ten steps ahead. Leaving this dock now could very well risk his own life. “I may not be able to. Lend me your portscreen and I will comm Representative Li with updates.” 

The man nodded and unclipped the device from his belt.

Taking it, Torin marched ahead, ignoring the whirlpool of sentiments trying to suck him back in. The cacophony was barely distinguishable, but laughter and crying and cheers spoke much of its meaning. Fury. Rejoicing. Anticipation.

———

The trek to the throne room was much shorter now than it had been an hour ago. The once packed hallways were now absent of officials, flashy nobles, servants, even guards. It was almost ludicrous to imagine that the coronation had been on that very same day when so much carnage and destruction had occured in such little time.

Fierce shouting grew louder as Torin neared the throne room. He began to run, turning the corner to a swarm of bodies blocking his path. Doctors and nurses wearing bloodied scrubs were huddled, shouting, “Pulse is weak! We need oxygen, stat!”

He came to hover nearby but could not identify the victim past the doctors’ tight shoulders. His own pulse faltered as it led him to the worst scenario. Where was Kai?

“He’s inside.”

He spun on his heels towards the magnificent mahogany doors. The voice was heavily accented—American—and weary. 

Torin composed himself. “Thorne-jūn,” 

Carswell Thorne had not struck Torin as a serious or even responsible man in the brief time they’d met. Yet the man in front of him now looked broken and old. He was covered in blood, his clothes ripped. 

“He?” Torin ventured to ask.

“Kai. He’s inside the throne room.” Carswell’s heavy eyes scrutinised Torin—flitting from his white dress shirt down to his dark pants. Pulling an arm from behind his back he revealed a black suit coat draped over his elbow. “I think this is yours.”

Indeed it was. Torin had lent it to Kai’s young friend Crescent, hoping to calm some of her hysteria. But if the small, frightened girl was not wearing it, where was she?

“I had no intention of reclaiming it,” Torin said, taking the jacket into his hands all the same when proffered to him. It was damp and left redness in the creases of his palm. “Where is Darnel-mei?”

“She was hurt,” Carswell said, voice barely audible and tinged with…shame?

He chose to not enquire further as to what this implied. As Carswell’s hazy gaze attached to the retreating backs of the doctors, Torin wondered if the victim was Crescent. And if Carswell Thorne was somehow responsible for what had befallen her.

Partly relieved but not yet satisfied, he straightened. “Is the emperor all right?”

“Dunno. They wouldn’t let him follow her.”

His brow furrowed. Kai did seem to care for Cress, but not enough, he thought, that he would abandon his search for Linh-dàren.

The two exchanged a nod. Carswell staggered away in the same direction as the doctors. He may be in need of a doctor himself, or at the very least, a glass of scotch.

Once the young lad was out of sight, Torin cast the jacket to the ground and thrust open the heavy doors.

A figure lay sprawled on the marble floor. Getting closer, Torin’s blood congealed. It was Kai. Blood pooled around him and over the throne near where he lay, dark like the black strokes of a Japanese ink painting. The stone of the backrest was cracked in the centre.

“Your Majesty!” he cried, racing over and halting just before crashing into Kai. He slid to his knees, examining his body with burgeoning dread. “Where is it?!”

Completely dazed, shock written over his face, Kai murmured, “What?”

He seized his hands into his own. “Where were you injured?” 

Appearing confused, he squinted blearily before following Torin’s gaze to his own torso. His white coronation outfit was bright red, his skin slick with blood.

“Oh,” Kai answered flatly. “Not me. I wasn’t…It’s Cinder’s.”

Torin pursed his lips. …Cinder’s?

Kai tried, weakly, to wipe it from his arms.

Blood. Cinder’s blood.

Torin shifted his hands to the boy’s forearms, pulling him to his feet. “Where is Linh-dàren now?” 

“They just took her.” Kai’s empty gaze drifted to the doors. Ah. It was not Crescent that he’d seen being carted away.

He recovered his sensibility rather remarkably. “Shall we follow them, Your Majesty?”

Kai rubbed at his eyes. Torin hadn’t seen the boy this shellshocked since the death of his mother. “No…I don’t know if Cinder…they wouldn’t let me follow her.”

He scoffed, guiding Kai to the entrance. “You are the Emperor of the Eastern Commonwealth and the King Consort of Luna. You can go where you please.”

Kai dully shook his head. “Was King Consort.”

As they reached the doors, he retrieved the black dress coat from the ground and draped it over Kai’s stained shoulders. “If Princess Selene survives—as she will—you very well may become King Consort again someday. We will not let mere doctors stop us.”

Slowly, a light filled the boy’s vacant eyes, as if waking up from a nightmare. Without notice, he took off.

Torin fell into step, trying to match Kai’s steady pace. But Kai had transformed, emboldened by the promise of again seeing his princess. Flickers of a rowdy ten-year-old and then a slouching fifteen-year-old returned to Torin; along with his reminders to walk orderly, like a prince should.

But this determination was nothing childish. This was the gait of a man in love.

———

Blood had dribbled on the marble floors like proverbial breadcrumbs for their quest. Streaks dragged through it, suggesting fast footsteps. Neither Torin nor Kai knew where the medical wing was located, yet the second they saw that crimson evidence, Kai began running.

Slow down, Torin wanted to call for both their sakes, because the emperor would overexpend himself, and Torin was not a young man. But such a request would be cruel to him now.

They were not the only ones running. Servants fled the hallways while others huddled in trios with nervous murmurings. Just as Torin was about to reach into his pocket for his inhaler, Kai skidded to a halt. A crosspath emerged—to the left, a lavish hallway of purple carpets, ancient moon sculptures and a grand piano at its end. The right, stale white walls, dim lights and no such frivolities. In between these two was a large reflectionless window, slightly ajar. Cries of battle and howling slipped through from below.

“Your Majesty, should we perhaps—”

Kai chose right and sprinted. This time, Torin could not keep up.

As he bumbled after him, he passed Carswell Thorne, standing at a distance from a different mob of doctors. They surrounded a gurney, and when Torin saw a gleam of a shimmering orange skirt, he now knew where Darnel-mei was. Slumped against the wall nearby was a disorientated red-headed girl, cradled in the arms of one of those ghastly wolf soldiers. Torin choked on his tongue but then recognised the particular shade of green in the beast’s eyes. This was Kai’s ally, whom he had met when they concealed the Rampion in their ship on the journey to Luna. He reproached his own thoughts for the snap-judgement, especially when the man held the girl as though she were the finest bloom in a garden.

Turning the corner, Torin found Kai beside a flashing red operating room sign, motionless as a nurse explained the imperativeness that he do not impede their recovery efforts.

Resigned, he bowed his head. “Do your best, please,” came his weak voice. He watched—jealously, Torin thought—as the nurse whisked behind the large double doors.

The port at his waist pinged, an unfamiliar chime that reminded him it was borrowed. He punched in the override access code, opening to a comm from an Eastern Commonwealth officer.

“Kai,” Torin called, gently. “Her Maje–Her Highness, Princess Levana has been confirmed as dead.”

Staring at the closed hospital doors, Kai nodded. “I know. I saw her.”

And then, the memory of the throne returned to Torin. Certainly Cinder hadn’t been seated there. But it too was tainted with blood, and that pool contained much more than a single body could have produced. He drafted the cracks in the seat in his mind, the point of impact small and precise.

Princess Selene shot her.

Her body must have been taken away before Torin had arrived. But not before Kai had seen it.

The raging battle below their feet niggled at his thoughts. Hesitating, he recommended, “I suggest we declare temporary control, until Her Majesty The Queen’s status is known.”

Another slight nod. “Tell them…as King Consort, or…whatever. Just direct them to stop the fighting.”

He bowed and turned. He would first comm the Eastern Commonwealth officials to handle the loading docks, then contact their own fleet of security to instate control. Perhaps they could reason with the Lunar guards to help as well. The wolf soldiers would be impossible to restrain, but if they could at least remove the thaumaturges…

He compelled his muscles to contract, to walk forward, unsuccessfully. His feet were solid beneath him, his conscience arguing.

Torin heard a shaky exhale.

He could not leave Kai.

He spun back around and covered the distance. “Kai.”

Kai’s gaze arrived, weakly, in that of his mentor’s. It was the little warning he received before Kai buried his eyes in his wrists, sobbing.

“I can’t…” he choked. “I can’t…”

Torin planted stabilising hands on his elbows as they trembled with his shuddering breaths. 

Anyone in New Beijing Palace could have attested to the fact that Konn Torin was not known for having a propensity for affection. But Kai, he realised bleakly, guiltily, had hardly hugged a body since the late emperor’s demise. That was unacceptable.

The distance discarded, his shoulder offered, Kai collapsed into him.

“It will be all right,” Torin promised into his hair. “She will be all right.”

Shouting chased them from the closed doors; elevated alarm from hard-wearing professionals that made Kai gasp. Torin covered the boy’s ears. He needn’t know what lay behind those doors. Because none of them knew. There were no protocol-issued, well-worn documents assuring that Selene would live. They could only rely on her demonstrated stubbornness and talent of living to spite all naysayers.

But Kai’s father had been determined. Kai’s mother had been stubborn. And they were both dead. Torin had lost two great friends but Kai had lost his parents. If he let this spread to his heart, he may never awaken from this grief-stricken stupor.

“Kai,” Torin breathed, “You must live.”

“...What?” Kai whispered, confused.

He pulled back, hardened eyes peeling away to reveal softness. “No matter what happens to her, you must live.”

Kai looked to the ceiling. “I know…my people…”

“No. You must live for her. And for yourself. Only then can you have the strength for your people.” He wiped the tears away with his sleeve. “She needs you right now.”

“I can’t do anything for her right now, Torin,” he argued miserably. 

Despite it all, Torin smiled. “Do you really believe that?”

Kai’s sharp inhales syncopated with the beeps and clangs from within. Torin had always answered his questions. ‘Towin, why can’t I play with Daddy in his meetings?’ ‘Torin, why do I have to go to the gala?’ ‘Torin, why is Mama sick?’’

This question, only Kai could answer.

As those eyes had managed every time before, they reached a horizon point somewhere over Torin’s shoulder, and the determination crystallised. Torin masked a sigh of relief. For a moment, he truly believed this time might be so severe that there could be no return.

Another embrace, this one Kai initiated and pulled away from resolved. “Call off the fighting and order the thaumaturges back into the palace. I’ll collect the Eathern leaders from the docks and have them organise the crowds. We need to remove the wounded from the battlefield.”

“Shall I divert medical resources to those groups?”

“Yes,” he ordered, turning on his heel and his feet moved in step with his thoughts.  “Repurpose as many rooms in the palaces as needed. Send”—he paused, briefly, slipped a look at the closed doors, and righted himself—“Send our own medical staff as well.”

Torin followed dutifully. “And…you’ll leave Linh-dàren?”

“This is what she needs me to do right now.”

In this moment, Torin was walking beside his dear friend Rikan. This boy, this emperor, galvanised for a new purpose. To prepare Luna for its queen. To carve out a space for Linh Cinder to fill. To aid her as a friend, an ally, a partner.

The closer they got to the docks, the louder the shouting became. Frantic servants and muddled aristocrats still cried the refrain: “The queen is dead!”

No. The queen would live, and Torin dared to hope in it.

Bonus

Sometimes, Cress felt like she was getting the hang of this being around people thing. Sarcasm was becoming more obvious. Body language more telling. But then there would be a little quirk of human interactions that would demonstrate just how unaccustomed to everything she was. Today, she learnt about sneaking up on people.

Cress was halfway through closing the door to her suite when a voice purred, “What perfect timing.”

She gasped and flung around to the apparition.

“Captain!” she exclaimed, clutching her stomach. The jolt was not kind on her still-tender stab wound. 

Thorne grinned, all purple button-up and dimpled cheeks and bergamot cologne, materialised in the spot that was seconds-before empty. “Hey darlin’.”

Cress pried away her hand before he noticed it serving as an anchor and got that guilt-tinged frown. Any reminder of his (unwilling) role in her injury was a doleful experience for them both. Still, at least she could now walk without fearing her intestines would unravel.

“You scared me half to death.” She batted his shoulder.

A pleased look spread over his face. “Stealth is one of my greater qualities.”

She blinked at him. Repeatedly.

“Okay,” he relented, tone faltering. “Not necessarily.” He jutted a thumb at the door behind him. “But my room is just opposite.”

“So that gives you the right to near knock my soul out of my body?”

“I was simply coming out to say hello. I can’t believe that you’d accuse me of trying to catch a fright from you.” Thorne rested a hand on the door frame, pressing her back to the door as he craned his neck towards her. “I wouldn’t do that to my girl.”

His girl. Her heart began dancing an Irish jig for an entirely new reason. At least if she swooned from giddiness, he was in prime position to catch her. “Did you come to tell me something?” she murmured, unable to meet his eyes.

“Oh, you know,” he drawled. “I was checking out Cinder’s new place, all the bells and whistles. It’s not bad.”

“It isn’t bad,” she agreed. “It’s magnificent.”

“It’s no Rampion.” He retracted his hand from the doorframe to take hers. This time, she could look at him. “I stumbled into the gardens—nice, sure—but something was missing.”

“A waterslide?”

“Your hand in mine.” he corrected. He kissed that hand. “As long as you’re up to it, would do me the greatest honour and accompany me for a stroll?”

Her stomach throbbed. She shouldn’t walk for more than ten minutes at a time, and she’d already walked all the way to and from the dining hall for breakfast that morning. But her excitement rang louder than the ache.

“I know, it’s tough to think of an excuse not to go,” he said. “But I promise it’ll be fun. I even brought a token as a security deposit.” Reaching to his back pocket, Thorne procured a single rose, pink in its petals and tinged with brown at the base.

Cress pulled it into her fingers, awed. “It’s beautiful!” she cooed, burying her nose in the creation. “It’s a rose, right?”

He looked surprised, but only momentarily. “Indeed. You’ve probably never seen one before.”

“No.” She twirled it in her fingers, eyes fixed on the rich, fathomless colour. Oh, now she understood why roses were romance personified. She noticed that they were thornless, though she wouldn’t have minded if they weren’t. She happened to like Thornes a good deal. “Do they have more?” she asked, eyes gleaming.

“Hundreds, sweetheart.” He looked smug. His plan had succeeded beyond expectations. She was too happy to care.

“In that case, yes, of course.” She turned to the door, saying, “I'll just pull on a jacket,” when a knife twisted in her gut. She clutched her side, gasping as Thorne stole her shoulders into his hands.

“Cress! Are you okay?!” 

She gritted her teeth, hissing and attempting to take air into her lungs until the pain finally subsided. “I’m fine,” she said wanly.

He frowned. “No, no you’re not. You should’ve told me the pain was acting up.” He wrapped his arms around her sides supportively, sighing. “You need to lie down.”

“No!” she protested. “No, I want to come.”

He cast her a grim stare then pecked her cheek. “Tomorrow, okay?”

She scowled. Her injury was a poor wingwoman to her romantic life. “Okay,” she conceded, only slightly mollified.

“Here. I’ll help you get into bed.” Thorne pulled a hand away from her waist to push open the door.

Prickling erupted on her skin. She suddenly remembered what lay inside. “Oh, no, I’m fine. It’s not that bad—I can just—”

“Nonsense.”

She barely cried a “wait!” before the door swung open and the evidence spilled out in a rich floral perfume.

Thorne walked them both inside, gaping at the garden on the centre table. A mammoth bouquet of lilies, peonies, gazanias and foliage reached almost up to the ceiling. He plucked the creamy white card from the base and read it aloud:

In hopes of a swift recovery. Best Wishes, Konn Torin.

Thorne hadn’t yet blinked. Cress just about felt his token wilt in her hand. “I still love your rose,” she assuaged.

Thorne lowered the card, staring dejectedly at his intimidated rose. “I need to up my boyfriend game.”

She laughed. Cress tucked the rose behind his ear, giggling at his quizzical look. She leaned up, thirty excruciating stitches be damned, and planted a firm kiss on his lips. She pulled away. “Let’s start with that date tomorrow.”

Notes

This one's for me and @hayleblackburn, maybe the only members of the Konn Torin fan club. We're a small but loyal pit crew 😔✊

@cindersassasin @hayleblackburn @spherical-empirical @salt-warrior @just2bubbly @gingerale2017 @kaider-is-my-otp @slmkaider @luna-maximoff-22 @kaixiety @snozkat @mirrorballsss @skinwitch18 @bakergirl13 @wassupnye @linh-cindy @therealkaidertrash21

[gingerale2017]

A Moment for Jealousy

Fluff Words: 2k Pairing: Cinder Linh x Kai Fandom: The Lunar Chronicles Setting: Dating AU post-college Warnings: None that I know of Ao3 Link

“Stars, you’re kidding right?” Seventeen-year-old Cinder asked her then-boyfriend at the time.

He smiled like a moron and giggled. “Darlin’ I know what I’m doin’. Have some trust, will ya’?”

Cinder sighed, though he was an idiot, she adored when he faked a deep southern drawl. At least she did before he annoyed her to death.

Naive, dumb, desperate teenager Cinder.

Blue eyes sparkling up at her, he turned on the bike and sped away without adjusting his helmet all the way first.

“Wait! Your helmet!” She cried but he was too far gone.

By the time he came back, she was waiting for him with a grumpy expression on her face.

“What’s with the frown?” He asked, innocently raising an eyebrow.

She scowled. “That was dangerous. Don’t do that again.”

He smiled, ignoring her. “That was glorious, thanks for fixing up the bike for me, hey.”

“Thorne, I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” He laughed. Then he tried to kiss her. She dodged his mouth and backed away.

“What’s with the attitude, babe?”

“Don’t call me that!” She whipped around and walked away.

He grabbed her hand and turned her back around. “Seriously, what’d I do now?”

“What do you mean ‘what I do now?��”

“I mean, you’re always mad at me for something-”

“I told you why I’m mad at you, and you don’t listen to me!” She cried. Stars above, she wanted to slap this guy.

“Yeah, and it’s stupid!-“ She actually slapped him. “Hey! What the hell?!” He spat out.

“I’m done, Thorne. I hate this relationship and I hate you-“

“WHY?! WHAT’D I DO?!”

“Don’t cut me off.” Cinder lifted a gloved finger and glared at him into silence. He felt her quiet threat and quieted down. “You never listen to me and you always do what you want. I’m done trying to mother you around all the time.”

He stared at her for a moment. Then he said the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard in an argument before. “Aw, come on. Y’know I got mommy issues.”

She yelled curses at him and broke up with him. Then she walked away without turning back.

“You’re kidding, he actually said that?” Kai said, giddy like a mother gossiping on Facebook.

Twenty-seven-year-old Cinder nodded. “Yup.”

“Come on! At least it was funny!” Thorne said, scrambling for a defense.

Kai began to choke with laughter. “You are SO embarrassing, dude!”

Thorne scowled. “You’re not much better.”

Kai cocked his head as if he sensed a challenge. “I’m a better boyfriend, though.”

“Okay, let’s not go there.” Iko crawled towards the middle of their circle where they sat on the floor. Iko sensed some sort of animosity going on, one that Cinder definitely missed.

“Go where?” Asked Thorne innocently.

“Jealousy wars.” Iko said without explaining.

Kai scrunched his eyebrows. “What jealousy? No one’s jealous, I mean, how could I?”

Iko side-glanced at Cinder who was playing with the rug. Oh, why couldn’t this girl comfort her own boyfriend before his mind spiraled with jealousy? He only found out about Cinder and Thorne tonight because Cinder never thinks of it as important. Telling your partner that you dated your current best friend that you still hang out with often is pretty important. At least to Iko, it was. And she had the sense it was pretty important to Kai too.

“I’m hungry! Scarlet!!! Hurry!!!” Iko whined.

“What am I, your personal chef? Give me a second.” Scarlet yelled back.

Iko sniffed at the insult. “Sorry!” She cried. Kai and Thorne laughed about some separate joke. Good, it didn’t seem to affect them that much.

Yet, throughout the whole night, Iko couldn’t help but notice how Kai would watch Cinder talk with Thorne, and when during those interactions he would get close to Cinder and just stand there. How he made a face when Cinder sat next to Thorne at dinner. How he offered to help Cinder with every action she made. How he kept interrupting Thorne when he talked to her. Thank the stars Cress wasn't here. Who knows how that tiny overthinker would rack her brain?

When it was time to leave, Cinder and Kai were the first to leave. She hugged everyone goodbye, including Thorne. To everyone else, including the ones hugging, it looked like a normal embrace. To Kai, it felt as if Thorne’s hands were a little too low on her back. He completely forgot Thorne had Cress, whom he absolutely adored, waiting back home.

The drive to Kai’s apartment was spent in comfortable silence, at least to Cinder. Kai’s mind kept working itself, saying not to worry, nothing was going on! That was ten years ago. It was also saying that if they had feelings for each other once, they could have it again.

Oh, but they did have feelings for each other. Feelings of familial love. But Kai refused to acknowledge that. Poor guy was always self-sabotaging himself.

What did she even see in that douchebag anyways? She kept commenting on his blue eyes and his recklessness. Kai had brown eyes and was quite precautious. They were so different.

“Hey, darling?” He murmured while they were stopped at a light. She looked at him.

“What’s up?” She asked.

“Nothing, I just never thought you and Thorne never would’ve dated. You guys are basically like siblings.”

She cringed. “We are. That’s what makes that whole situation horrible. One of my biggest regrets.”

“I know. But how did you even… I don’t know how to phrase this.” The light turned green.

“Fall for him?” She groaned. “Aces, I don’t even know. I think I never did actually, and I misread my feelings for him. They were supposed to be platonic, that’s why romance didn’t, and never will, work out for us.”

She smiled at him, but he continued to worry his lip. “What’s wrong?” She asked.

“Nothing.” He said said non-reassuringly. They pulled into the apartment complex parking lot.

“You sure?” She hesitated before continuing as he parked. “You aren’t jealous, are you?”

“NO!” He jumped, slamming the brakes. She yelped as her body flew forward. He set the gears in park and apologized.

Cinder laughed at the revelation, even when he opened the door for her, and stared with discontent. “Kai, I can’t believe it!” She snorted. “You’re jealous of Thorne!”

“I’m not!” He yelped, helping her out of the car. “Never say that again.” Him? Kai Prince? Jealous? Unlikely. Jealous of Carswell Thorne? Highly unlikely.

She kept teasing him until they reached his unit. As they walked in, Kai kept trying to think of ways to convince her he wasn’t jealous when she calmed down.

“There’s nothing to be jealous of, Kai.” She murmured, getting close to him.

He gulped as she smiled. She was so pretty, it almost hurt him. Kai didn’t even think twice when he pressed her against the door and kissed her.

Cinder made a surprised sound that he muffled with his mouth before getting lost in the kiss. He moved his hands up and down her body with the pace of their movements. When they sped up, he squeezed her waist and kissed her deeper, enough to manufacture another sound out of her. He couldn’t help his smile, effectively breaking their kiss. She smiled back up at him.

An idea sprouted in the corner of his mind that he subconsciously chose to act on. Once they caught their breath, he moved to the length of her neck. Kai did this often, and Cinder noted it as one of his favorite ‘moves’. She wasn’t wrong.

This time, though, as pressed himself against her he murmured: “I bet he didn’t kiss you like this, right?”

The vibrations of his voice were deep enough to send shivers down her body. “No one ever has, Kai.” Cinder was barely able to whisper back. Her hand slid up to the base of his neck where she absent-mindedly pulled on the baby strands there.

He chuckled against her skin, she held on to him tighter. “I hope no one ever does. Besides me, of course.” He said breathlessly, too preoccupied with pleasing her.

He began to kiss her again but Cinder froze. She couldn’t tell what about his phrasing threw her off, but some part of it did. It knocked right out of that ‘kissing headspace’ or zone, whatever you call the haze you’re in while making out.

He didn’t get the hint and continued to kiss her neck, wrapped in his desire.

“Kai?” She started. He didn’t budge. “Kai, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on.”

He froze, immediately pulling away. “What happened?” He panicked as his brow furrowed as he continued to hold her near to him.

“Nothing!” She scrambled, noticing the hurt look on his face. “Just give me a second.”

“What’d I do?” He asked, practically begging her for an answer with his eyes.

Cinder blinked. Virtually nothing about their relationship reminded her of the disaster that was her and Thorne, but his little ‘What’d I do?’ was oddly similar to Thorne and their breakup day.

Except when Thorne said it, he was accusatory and angry. Kai looked like a kicked puppy.

She smiled, trying to reassure him by rubbing his cheek with her thumb. “I know you feel about me, and that you love-”

“Endlessly, I love you eternally, darling.” He butt in.

She gave him a knowing glance that told him to let her finish. “You love me endlessly, got it. And I love kissing you, don’t get me wrong. You’re a very good kisser.”

Kai smiled proudly. She continued. “But I don’t want you to kiss me like you have something to prove.”

He cocked his head, confused. “I don’t understand.”

She sighed. “I don’t know how to say this. Bottom line: you’re jealous and you want to prove to me that you’re better than my small list of exes.”

Kai was speechless, a rarity amongst his characteristics.

She squeezed his cheeks with both hands. “Trust me, Kai. I already know you’re better than all of them. You don’t have to prove it to me.” Cinder rubbed his arms, pleading with her eyes. “Just kiss me.”

He chewed on his lip, a habit he picked up from her. “Just kiss you?”

“Yeah, just kiss me.” He was still confused but was trying not to seem like he was. She could tell. “I just want to get this out; I also get jealous sometimes.”

He sputtered. “Of what?!”

“Your not-so-small list of exes.” She said with a raised eyebrow.

He softened, petting her sides. “Oh, Love, there’s nothing to be jealous of.”

“Even when I don’t look like that one model you dated? I was thinking about curling my hair like hers once.”

“No, of course not! You don’t have to change anything about yourself. The way you are is the reason I fell in love with you.”

Cinder sighed dramatically. “How do I know that I’m better for you than her? How do I prove that to you?”

He leaned closer to her, trying to convince her of what she already knew. “You don’t have to prove anything to-” He paused, suddenly shutting his eyes.

“Oh, I see.” He said, finally. He dug his head into the crook of her neck like an embarrassed ostrich.

A ridiculous smile broke out on her face. “You see, babe?” She laughed, petting his hair.

“I’m sorry.” He said, muffled by her skin.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” She kissed his ear. “I forgive you regardless.”

He pulled away and flashed her with sparkling puppy-dog eyes. “In that case, can I kiss you again?”

She smiled. “Of course.”

A/N: Basically this is more of a practice for a type of writing style i’m trying out, though i don’t know if i dod it well. also i personally love writing kai jealous, it’s one of my favorite past times. i would have done this more differently if i thought about it more, but this is a quick fic. hope you enjoy regardless. also, I DO NOT SHIP CINDER AND THONRE. hopefully this fic will forever serve as evidence.

tagging: @just2bubbly @cinderswrench @cindersassasin @the-wee-woo-royal @deprivedmusicaljunkie @crescentchat @wheresmymom-imlost @salt-warrior @rapunzelfromthemoon @briggycat @impossiblesuitcase @kaider-is-my-otp @definitelynotisabel @wassupnye @therealkaidertrash21 (these are for my kaider ONLY fics so please ask if you want to be tagged or removed <3)

[invalidstories]

Lunar Reverie (Part 1)

Part 2

In the heart of New Beijing, beneath the watchful gaze of the moon, a sense of anticipation hung heavy in the air. Cinder, the once lowly mechanic turned Lunar Queen, found herself at the center of attention as she prepared to host a lavish gala to celebrate the anniversary of her coronation.

Among the guests gathered in the opulent ballroom were Cinder's closest friends and allies—Kai, the former Emperor of the Eastern Commonwealth; Scarlet and Wolf, the fierce Lunar operatives; Cress, the brilliant hacker; and Thorne, the charming rogue. As the music swirled around them and the laughter echoed off the walls, Cinder couldn't help but feel a sense of contentment wash over her.

But beneath the surface, tensions simmered. Whispers of discontent circulated among the Lunar nobility, their resentment simmering like embers beneath the surface. And amidst the glittering splendor of the gala, a shadowy figure lurked in the shadows, their intentions shrouded in mystery.

As the night wore on and the festivities reached their peak, Cinder found herself drawn to Kai's side, his presence a comforting anchor in the midst of uncertainty. But even as they danced beneath the stars, a sense of unease lingered in the air—a feeling that their happiness was fleeting, and that danger lurked just beyond the horizon.

It wasn't until the stroke of midnight that the conflict came to a head. A masked figure emerged from the shadows, their eyes gleaming with malice as they confronted Cinder and her friends, accusing them of betraying the Lunar people.

Chaos erupted as accusations flew and alliances were tested, threatening to tear apart the fragile peace that Cinder had fought so hard to achieve.

As the accusations hung in the air like a stormcloud ready to burst, Cinder's heart raced with uncertainty. The masked figure, cloaked in shadows, had struck a chord of fear and doubt among the guests, and whispers of suspicion rippled through the crowd like a chilling wind.

"It's her! She's the one who betrayed us!" a voice cried out from the crowd, pointing an accusing finger at Cinder.

Cinder's breath caught in her throat as she turned to face her accuser—a Lunar noble, his face twisted with anger and resentment. His words cut through the air like a knife, casting doubt upon Cinder's intentions and sowing discord among her allies.

Kai stepped forward, his voice ringing out with authority as he addressed the gathered crowd. "These accusations are baseless," he declared, his gaze unwavering as he locked eyes with the accusing noble. "Cinder has dedicated her life to bringing peace to our world. She would never betray us."

As the accusations continued to fly, the Lunar noble's words grew more insidious, each accusation laced with venomous intent. He spoke of secret alliances forged in the shadows, of betrayal and deceit lurking beneath Cinder's carefully crafted facade.

"She sold us out to the Earthens," the noble declared, his voice dripping with scorn. "She's been colluding with them all along, trading our secrets for her own gain."

Cinder felt a chill run down her spine as she heard the accusations hurled against her. The weight of their implications threatened to crush her beneath their burden, and she struggled to find her voice amidst the storm of doubt and suspicion.

But as she turned to her friends for support, she found their eyes clouded with uncertainty, their trust shaken by the noble's words. Scarlet and Wolf exchanged wary glances, their expressions mirroring the doubt that gnawed at Cinder's heart.

"I can't believe this," Scarlet murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

Cinder's chest tightened with anguish as she searched for the words to defend herself, to convince her friends of her innocence. But before she could speak, Kai stepped forward, his expression grave.

"I need to hear the truth from you, Cinder," he said, his voice firm but tinged with sorrow. "Did you betray us? Did you betray me?"

Cinder felt as if the ground had dropped out from beneath her feet, the weight of Kai's accusation crushing her spirit. A headache began to form, to remind her if she were normal she would've cried. She looked into his gaze, once filled with love and trust, now clouded with doubt and uncertainty.

"No, Kai, I would never…" she began, her voice breaking with emotion. But the words caught in her throat, choked by the weight of her own despair.

As the weight of Kai's accusation hung heavy in the air, a suffocating silence descended upon the room. The accusing noble stood triumphant, his smirk twisting with satisfaction as he watched the doubt and uncertainty spread like a virus among Cinder's friends.

But amidst the turmoil, a glimmer of defiance flickered in Cinder's eyes. Despite the crushing weight of betrayal and doubt, she refused to surrender to despair. With every ounce of strength she could muster, she pushed back against the accusations, her voice ringing out with a fierce determination.

"I swear on my life, I have never betrayed you," she declared, her words echoing through the room like a clarion call. "I would never betray any of you."

Her friends hesitated, their expressions caught between disbelief and longing, torn between the trust they once held in Cinder and the doubts sown by the noble's accusations. And as they searched her eyes for answers, Cinder could see the flicker of uncertainty warring with the bonds of friendship that had once bound them together.

But before the tension could escalate any further, a voice cut through the silence—a voice that carried with it a sense of authority and wisdom that demanded attention.

"It's not enough to swear your innocence, Cinder," Kai said, his voice low and solemn. "We need evidence. We need proof."

Cinder's heart sank at his words, the weight of his doubt crushing her spirit even further. But amidst the despair, a spark of determination ignited within her—a resolve to prove her innocence, no matter what the cost.

And so, with a heavy heart and tears still glistening in her eyes, Cinder turned away from her friends and set out on a journey to uncover the truth. For she knew that even if the road ahead was fraught with peril and uncertainty, she could not rest until her name was cleared and her honor restored.

And so, with each step she took, Cinder vowed to fight with every fiber of her being, to overcome the doubts and accusations that threatened to tear her world apart. For she knew that only by confronting the shadows of betrayal head-on could she hope to emerge victorious and reclaim the trust and friendship she held so dear. Masterlist

[chemicallyyourss]

*Okay, this is the first writing I’ve done in, like, at least 5 years lol. I’m not entirely happy about it, but I’m rusty so I’m cutting myself some slack. Read the bottom after the fic for more notes please!

Reassurance

2.1 k words

[Cinder and Kai are relaxing until Cinder picks up on something bothering Kai and she works to reassure him.]

—

Cinder hummed gently before letting out a satisfied sigh as she scrolled through her netlink, looking at the latest news reports and social updates from her longtime friends. She was sat upright in bed with the sheet and blanket pulled to her hip, Kai lying beside her in the bed with his head in her lap. Her flesh hand curled around the whisps of his hair that occasionally fell in his eyes. He was like a radiating heat on her side. He curled against her while reading the latest of their eldest daughter's favorite books. It wasn't something he would have normally read on a whim, but he thoroughly enjoyed looking into their kids' hobbies and interests even when he was away from them.

The room was quiet besides their breaths and the occasional turn of a page. Just the two of them were alone in their large suite. The kids were out somewhere, Peony probably studying the flowers in the Palace gardens, Rikan more than likely following Torin on his heels everywhere he goes but his parents more hoped that he would be enjoying himself and being a sweet boy to the Palace staff. Yue, still just a toddler, was set down for her evening nap in the nursery, which meant that Cinder and Kai had a rare evening to themselves, and they wanted to savor every second wrapped up in peaceful quiet with each other.

About 43 minutes had passed since they had settled into their positions beside each other in the large bed when Kai started to stir. He wrapped a bit more over his wife, a leg hooking over hers as he reached for her hand and ran his fingers over hers, stopping at the ring he had put on her years ago. He twiddled it in his fingers, spinning it around her finger. He still had the book in one hand but didn't seem as interested in it. His eyes bored into the ring on her finger instead. Cinder blinked the stream of media pulled up in her iris away and watched him quietly as he set the book down on the edge of the bed and turned to fully encompass her around the middle with his arms. She ruffled his black hair.

"A univ for your thoughts?" she posed.

Kai pressed his lips together slightly with a short hum before turning to look up at Cinder from her lap. "Can I braid your hair?"

Cinder blinked and frowned. He wasn't talking and he usually fiddled with things- Cinder's jewelry, her and their kid's hair- when his thoughts were racing with worry. Kai had a good amount of steel nerves from being a ruling emperor of an entire nation but over the years it had dwindled slightly. His parents' untimely tragic deaths when he was still young, Levana's threats of marriage and war and death, being kidnapped and shot (albeit with a tranquilizer) by his future wife and mother of his children... It had really just dwindled after they had each of their children. Before, the things Kai went through almost brazened him. He cheekily lied to Levana and her lackies without much concern to hide it, he almost laughed at her at times. Bringing their children into this world made him much more anxious. Cinder understood it in a way. Their children worried her at times as well. She worried whether they would get hurt, or slip up, or feel any way other than happy.

She nodded quietly and scooted forward on the bed so he could slip behind her. She felt her hair slip out of the ponytail she had messily shoved it into earlier after getting out of the last meeting of the day, and then his fingers were in her hair, combing through little tangles and knots. There was a gentle tugging in places but she didn't mind. She leaned back slightly on his stomach. "Kai?"

Kai hummed an inquisitive response around the hair tie of hers that he held in his mouth.

Cinder was quiet a moment before continuing. "Do you have something going on in your head?"

Kai's fingers stilled in her hair and his body stiffened for just a moment before he unsurely continued his pursuit to detangle her hair. "No, just been thinking a little too much about little things."

Cinder turned her head as much as she could while he worked at her scalp. "You can tell me, you know. Whether its big or small. But if it's big and you keep it from me I might not take it as well, so out with it now."

Kai chuckled lightly and wrapped his arms around her shoulders from behind and his face appeared beside hers, a slight smile playing on his face. It didn't reach his eyes. He kissed her temple before leaning back and parting her hair for a braid. "Just thinking about the future."

"Kai." She turned around in the bed and looked at him pointedly.

He put his hands up, conceding. "Okay, okay. Just let me busy my hands with your hair and I'll talk."

She settled back into her spot in front of him with her back to him and he began to braid. Since having two daughters, he'd added intricate braiding to his list of skills. "Peony's getting older."

"Yes?" Cinder replied, slightly unsure where he was going with this. Their eldest daughter was 13 years old now.

The room was still quite quiet, save for their talking, the rustling of the bed and his fingers in her hair, and their breath. She could feel his breath at each exhale behind her neck.

"I just... I don't know." Kai sighed, struggling for the right words. "Its getting closer to the time that... she'll be taking the throne, and she'll have what all lies on us will be on her."

Cinder's eyebrows furrowed. Peony was still 13. She couldn't take the throne until she was at least 16, and even that would only happen if they both passed away- which they didn't plan on doing. They planned to pass on the throne in maybe a decade or two, when their kids will have a good standing and a confident ability to take care of the responsibilities of a national leader. They wouldn't do it until their kids were ready to pick up the torch, but also didn't want for them to have to take on this role in the same tragic, lost way that Kai did, moments after becoming an orphan. They wouldn't rule forever and would pass on the role to their children when they were full grown adults and then Cinder and Kai would "retire" and be there for their children. For stars sakes, Peony wasn't even out of school, or had even had her first kiss yet, what was he doing thinking this far ahead of time?

She put a hand over her shoulder and laid it on top of his hand, stilling it while he was still weaving her strands of hair into a braid. "Kai, honey- that won't be happening for at least a decade, two if we can help it."

Kai heaved a heavy sigh, and some loose strands of Cinders hair blew past her face from the force. "I know. It just always gnaws at the back of my mind. It's been an honor to service my country, no matter the sacrifices and the sheer weight of the job. But our sweet Peony... and Rikan, and Yue..."

Cinder smiled lightly at the sentiment and emotion in her husband's voice whenever he spoke of their children. His whole world was his family.

His voice was quiet. "I just can't imagine willingly putting this on them."

Cinder felt the hair tie slip over the end of her hair as Kai finished the long, intricate braid in her hair. She finally turned around and sat facing him, their knees touching, and took his hands in hers. She looked into his eyes and wished he could see the amount of adoration she felt for him in her synthetic eyes. "Kaito. You're the strongest moral ruler I know. We will have this country- and the world, including Luna- in a truly wonderful spot before any of our children have to take on our responsibility. We will teach them absolutely every little thing they should know about being Emperor and Empress, ruling a country, foreign affairs, alliances, balancing the act with their own lives, and anything else we feel they need to know. And when the time comes for them to step into power, we'll still be here to help them and guide them through it when needed. We'll still be a shoulder to cry on and a light in the storm. We've taught them all how to walk and we'll teach them all to rule."

Kai smiled, his eyes shining as he leaned his forehead against hers, their noses brushing. "Thank you for being my cool voice of reason," he murmured, his breath wavering on her mouth. She smiled back and intertwined the fingers of her left metal hand with his right hand and wrapped her right flesh hand around the back curve of his neck.

"Always." she said simply.

Kai's smile grew impossibly wider. "I love you."

"I love you too," Cinder kissed him sweetly on the mouth before leaving a peck on his forehead and leaning away to look him in the face again. "They'll do wonderfully. They have the best teacher," she poked a finger at his nose. His arms circled around her waist and he laid her down parallel to him on the bed, laying on their sides to face each other as he closed his eyes.

"I just can't even imagine them going through this," he murmured. "The sweet little things that couldn't even sit upright at first..."

Cinder snorted. "Kai, we both started as babies too. And now we rule a country and have three kids together."

Kai grinned, eyes still closed. "You know what I mean."

It was different when it was their kids who had to do it.

Cinder grinned back. "Yeah, I do. They're too sweet for this and the weight of the world on them. They won't have to go through what all we did to get here at least, and they've got tons of years until they take the throne and multiple good advisers for the time being. Including us. They'll be capable adults by then."

Kai hummed in agreement. Cinder closed her eyes. The door creaked open.

"Mom, Dad?"

They both sat up and looked to the door where Peony stood with Yue balanced on her hip and her portscreen in the other hand. Her eyes, a deep chocolate brown, swept over her parents and inspected the scene. "Is that my book?"

Kai looked to the edge of the bed where he'd set the book, his ears turning a faint shade of pink. "Uh, yeah. I wanted to see what all the hype was about."

Peony snorted, much like her mother. Cinder held in a laugh herself. Kai gave his daughter a pointed look and held out his arms. "Come here, my princesses."

Peony rolled her eyes but walked to the bed and handed Yue to Kai, while Peony crawled in next to her mother, who pet Peony's jet black hair. Kai kissed Yue on top of her brown hair that was identical to Cinders and held her to his chest. Fast, thudding footsteps outside made them all turn back to the doorway in time to see Rikan in the doorway, his black hair standing at attention, Iko standing behind him. "We saw the girls heading this way and I told him I'd race him," Iko said.

Cinder nodded. "Must've been a long run," she said, referencing her son's wild copper eyes.

Iko hummed. "We might've had to duck around some guards. And Torin."

Cinder and Kai both snorted and Kai put a hand to his brow.

"I'm joining!" Rikan announced before piling on the bed.

Kai yelped and tightened his grip on his youngest child when the bed shook. "Careful, Rikan, your sister-"

"Oh, sorry, Daddy."

Peony reached over and grabbed Rikan, pulling him down beside her. Yue fought a little to get out of Kai's arms and get to her siblings, so Kai laid back down on the bed and set her on the bed as well. He grinned as she piled on top of her two older siblings. He made eye contact with his wife over the huddle of their children. "Maybe I'm thinking too much," he said. "Governing the country seems like light work compared to parenting."

Cinder laughed hard.

—

I’ve kind of created this whole sort of idea for Cinder and Kai’s future after the Revolution- like their kids, their names, appearances, Cinder and Kai’s plans to help their kids adjust to royal life and get ready for their ultimate rolls as government leaders, etc. I’d love to dive more into it in other works if anyone ever wants! I also strongly believe that Kai will be an absolutely awesome dad. I didn’t really see him as too terribly anxious in the series, as he’s been royalty from birth so he’s used to a good amount of stress, and it shows in his calmness in a lot of high-stress scenes, but I feel like the times where he smiled sort of daringly at Levana to defy and lie to her and at one point laugh at her and dare I say stab her, I feel like this sort of showed a little crack in his calm and collected show. He’s always been said to not be good at masking emotions, but I feel like when it comes to legitimate government issues it takes more to get at him. I feel like after all the events of the series he’s sort of lost the amount of nerves he had before, being more prone to anxiety and such, and I feel like when he would have kids he would just dissolve. I literally could see him crying thinking about what his kids will have to deal with and the expectations set upon them leading up to taking the throne. And sure Cinder is also anxious, especially having a hard time adjusting to royalty herself and never having good familial relationships, but I feel like they’ll both be rocks for each other through it all, and I feel like they’ll try their best to plan and build up their children so they don’t struggle as much.

Ugh. When I have tons of feelings or thoughts about something it’s hard for me to organize what all I mean to say and I just babble so I’m sorry haha.

The asker messaged me again to sort of give me more of an idea of what exactly the gist of his anxiety would be, sort of giving me free reign as to what I’m writing, since it’s been so long and I’m rusty so I have to get into the swing of things again lol.

If anyone else has any requests or prompts, asks, whatever they want to send me, please feel free to do so! Eventually I want to add all my previous works here and add to them. Please leave feedback if you will! Send me asks, message me, suggestions, requests, let me know if maybe anyone wants tagged, whatever! I hope this goes over well haha.

ALSO, I do wanna say, I DONT have kids, but I DO have a goddaughter that I absolutely ADORE and I am family planning with my husband so while I don’t have kids I embarrassingly have a TON of soft feelings towards parenting and parent-kid relationships, and my goddaughter isn’t my daughter but I care for her like she was and I SWEAR if she ever had to go through anything at all I’d burst into tears and throw hands bahahah

Also for another user who asked for this fic as well- @taliasims5

I’m thinking of a Kaider fic where they are laying in bed in the evening all lazy, cinder is scrolling social media and Kai is reading. Then all the sudden Kai puts his port down and rolls over to her and asks if he can braid her hair in the back. She says yes and he starts making tiny braids in the back of her hair. She knows he likes to do this when his anxiety gets bad, so she turns over to gently talk to him about it.

I’d definitely be down with writing this (and anything else) but what do you think his anxiety about? Or do you think it’s just the chronic anxiety he probably had after everything he’s went through. If you want you can dm me if you want to discuss, otherwise I’ll be reblogging with my writing :)

[cyborgcourt]

YOU CANNOT SKIP THIS.

I know I tend to post all the cutsie kaider bits, but I also believe that moments like these show the complexity and depth of their relationship just as much as their lovebird scenes. Both of them are clearly very distressed with the conflict between the state of the world and their relationship. Kai is upset because he felt that Cinder wasn’t completely honest with him about herself, and her genuineness and honesty was a significant part for the liking he had taken towards her. But Cinder makes a good point in her own defence that, yeah, his character at the time probably wouldn’t have handled the news very well. Then Kai revisits his concern about her hiding this information from him “forever”, obviously implying he saw something in their relationship, which is why when she shuts it down with a reminder of their differences and that “there was never going to be a forever” it stings for him (and most likely her as well). A thing I like though, is how in this moment, their relationship between an emperor and a cyborg is labeled as an “absurdity”. This is so amazing because they literally go on to defy adversity, this being part of it. And now for the awesome part, MORE EMOTIONAL CINDER! I REPEAT! MORE EMOTIONAL CINDER! (This part breaks my heart a little though). When Kai asks her how many times she manipulated him, she’s clearly taken aback by this because she never did. Then it says “a fire stoked behind her eyes” when she asks him if he was worried that he “may have had actual feelings for a lowly cyborg”…

MY POOR BABY FELT LIKE CRYING. BUT SHE CANT. You can’t tell me she wasn’t upset and hurt by that. A lowly cyborg. And this ladies and gentlemen is why Kaider is all around beautiful. Because they had THIS. This hurt and conflict that makes all their love. That. Much. Better.

[definitelynotisabel]

what people do when your desperately waiting for your favorite fanfic to update

sincerely,

someone reading their first incomplete fic.

[i-am-befuddled]

Me defending any mid show/book that my brain latched on to

[just2bubbly]

If we weren't meant to be together, why did we have to meet and fall in love? Kaider angsty

Masterlist / ao3

i actually had fun writing this, and that's not what i expected (no offence anon), don't get me wrong, I have written a lot of kaider angst revolving around the same storyline, so it has become somewhat dull now. i was supposed to write this for 'i miss you' prompt in the #tlcshipweek24 but with my assignments and lack of any commitment i just couldn't- BUT YEA THAT'S NOT THE POINT

i might have sorta convinced myself to wring a self-indulgent 5k words fic, cuz why not, the angst doesn't start intially, so if you are looking for the hard hitting lines, anon, you would have to scroll down a little, but that's all from my side, I hope you like it! <3

Let Me Let You Go

Words: 5.3k

Cinder's Perspective:

"Lunars and Earthens, we have the Lunar Queen in the house, Miss Selene Blackburn, revolutionary and New Beijing city's most talented mechanic. All of us owe the peace and perhaps our lives too to her! So let's give it a big round and be active as we discuss Miss Blackburn, before, after and through the years!"

The host announces as she walks onto the stage, lights flashing all around, until they come to focus on her.

Cinder flashes her methodic grin to the cameras, neither too cheerful nor too dull, the right amount of happiness that allows people to imagine she is satisfied with their work.

The bright glaring white light almost blinds her, unable to look around much but the quick blackout soothes the burn. Some newbie guides her to a seat, and she sits across from the infamous Natalie Sahoo, popular all around for the digital hype she starts. Cinder wouldn't pertain to entirely helpful when standing in the limelight.

The plush leather chair smells rich against the disinfectant-smelling space, and a few leather knots hanging around the corners help her calm her nerves. Pulling at the strings, she gives her fingers something to hold on to, as she would unnecessarily be asked about her life and beyond.

Cinder can't fathom how she has managed to get convinced to sit before a podcast, wearing a dress shirt and box skirt that Iko says makes her look ethereal, that would be watched by millions if not billions of people.

"You speak highly of me, Sahoo. I didn't come from any moral high ground, just a simple girl trying to break out." Cinder spoke once the camera blinked green, to show they were being recorded. She had turned off her inner screen, not wanting to get distracted by any notifications and comments that would be made during this interview.

Mrs Sahoo smiles, as reporters do when they find a slip-up. Cinder wonders if all the training Iko has enforced on her, will help prevent a scandalous rumour.

"Speaking of a simple girl, there is little known of your life before the revolution. The Linh family had adopted you, but there isn't much to say. Your schooling, high school sweethearts, the cybernetics - it all seems to add mystery to your character."

"Oh, no mystery at all," Cinder mimics, "There weren't any interesting things going around then, I had a mechanic shop on Prickett Street and spent most of my time there. I was 16 when the universe decided to intervene with my life, there weren't any romantic interests to pursue during that," Cinder elaborates, the lies in her latter words evident.

Everyone in this room knew about the romantic prospects of Kai and Cinder during the revolution, it had been a global scandal back then, The Commonwealth Emperor in love with a fugitive. However, Cinder wasn't going to be made a fool, entrapped with talks of sweethearts and lovers, into talking about her life's torn tapestry.

"So it seems, there had been much speculation about your adopted family being abusive, where they cut down your schooling, even tried to draft you in being one of those experiment rats. How would you say have these actions defined you in the future?" Sahoo asked, cleverly bypassing the agreement she had signed before, prohibiting her from indulging in a list of topics Cinder wasn't comfortable with. However, having asked a question about childhood, without the explicit mention of the Linhs, ensured her security over a sue.

Cinder won't hold the question against the agency, having never talked about her life with the Linhs, there were many speculations and Adri and Pearl's mouths were shut with the agreement drawn between them.

This interview gave her a chance to clear the air around her upbringing, and Cinder was bound to provide something to keep Sahoo backing away from the topics that did hurt.

One would know, how much Cinder hated to talk about the Linhs, having given them a fortune to spend the rest of their lives rolling on cash, they weren't keen on showing much grace.

"Garan had decided to bring me to New Beijing, he never made me feel inferior for my cybernetics. He was more of a scientist at heart, I would later learn that he had adopted me only to test with the bioelectric manipulation security system now in use.

The Linh family was quite fair until his tragic loss, and the whole dynamic changed later. 3 kids in a household with no real income, pushed Miss Adri to be very upset over things, and the fact that Garan hadn't any coverage spoiled her mood further.

My younger sister Peony and Iko, were the nicest things that happened to me in that household. Times had been tough with Leutomosis and poor employment opportunities, and even when that doesn't justify being cruel to a child, I have moved past the turmoil of it all. However, my early experiences have taught me to be kinder and more compassionate towards the underprivileged. Also, it somehow helped me not tolerate bullies in the Lunar Court under my term."

"That is much like the famous line, 'Heroes can't choose to look on the dark side, everyone else does it for them'. I think I will speak on behalf of everyone when I say that optimism is all that we want in our lives."

Cinder smiles ruefully at her, thinking over how people want a peaceful life without any traumatic experiences to overcome. There's no need for sorrow to follow you until you punch it in its face and stop lamenting, to be applauded.

There's a call by someone, and many 'cut' shouts are heard as the cameras stop rolling. A small break, it seems, and Cinder can't help but sigh in relief, all the questions about her lack of proper upbringing and life led to a feeling of dread, self-consciousness even.

The make-up artist approaches her, asking if she wants to touch up anything, but Cinder declines. If Iko isn't marching in this room asking for a change, Cinder is up to good. However, in reflex, she scratches against her neck, fidgeting with the cold jewellery chains.

They are back again within minutes, as Sahoo starts talking about the revolution, but there is nothing out of the blue. In all her prior interviews, they always wanted to know about her feelings during the moments of doom, if she had felt afraid, if the possibility of her death had ever crossed her mind, and whether controlling the newfound Lunar abilities had been a problem. She had become used to the monotony by then, answering everything with no new addition as such, until Sahoo decided that she wanted to ask for something more of Cinder.

"- the kidnapping, was it so easy to breach inside the Emperor's chambers and then take him hostage?" Sahoo asks, a jolly tone to her question as if suggesting that The Eastern Commonwealth had no regard for their Emperor's security.

"The implications you are trying to make, Natalie, can get you in deep trouble with the Commonwealth," Cinder cautions, a chuckle follows, "- taking the Emperor wasn't an easy feat like you made it to be. The post-hostage scenario, however, was pretty straightforward, since Ka- I mean, the Emperor was willing to be an accomplice to our plan. One can understand, his disdain for his marriage to Queen Levana."

Cinder replies, mentioning Kai's name in this interview was out of the question, thinking how she possibly had just handed Natalie Sahoo the opportunity she so adamantly had been looking for the last hour.

She smiled, hoping it didn't look like a grimace, and worried where this interview would end. The media house had all rights to stream this content, without considering any requests from Cinder.

Not to mention, Cinder couldn't stay shut for any questions, as that would result in many raised eyebrows and more speculations, which would feed the gossip columns for weeks if not months.

"-Now that you do mention, His Majesty, we hope to know more about your friendship." Sahoo smiles, somewhat evil, as she says 'friendship'.

"Will that stir a problem?" She asked, almost hungrily, as her lips perched against each other.

Cinder shakes her head, trying to curb the heartbeat that had been off to some mile sprint now, not letting the interviewer's words get to her.

She isn't known to give many one-on-one interviews, Sahoo would want to have something engaging from her that will make the show a sensation, and Cinder knows, she is doing her first interview since her break-up with Kai, he is married now, and it's obvious that they want to know what went so wrong between the two.

"Very well, Miss Blackburn, we have a few rumours running around for a while, the Emperor doesn't talk much, so we hope you are more resourceful!" Sahoo says, a wink thrown in her direction, doesn't help the churn of anxiety uphoarding inside her stomach.

"You have to be more specific darling, I have got quite a few of them," Cinder jokes, trying to throw the stress off her, if Natalie believes that she isn't crawling under her skin with the spotlight and unsettling questions, that would be enough.

"- the one about you having manipulated the Emperor, trying to play good unlike some other Queen, but he was-"

"A lie," Cinder hisses, before she can complete the statement, not wanting to put manipulation and Kai into the same sentence.

She imagines having used her charm to drill the words around as she sees a few willing nods around the room. The dread she felt seconds ago, has vanished and anger bloomed in its place.

"Why so ever?"

"Because it is," Cinder says, words stressed at the ending, giving a sense that there's no argument to be had, however, her companion isn't so accommodating to her demands as she counters.

"Perhaps an elaboration to make it seem more believable?"

"That rumour is a lie, and I'm not going to justify some baseless accusations, because people are too blind. Hence, you could move down a few questions, unless that's all for the day," Cinder asserts, making her position clear, she might not have much choice of answers, but she was not going to be toyed around for amusement.  

For all that people have to say, Cinder wouldn't tolerate speculations about manipulating Kai. It always left her feeling like someone had smudged her with bright neon sketch pens, left behind undone as the painter got tired before completing their work.

"-that won't be the problem, Miss Blackburn. Perhaps a short break could do us good," Natalie suggested, her words bringing Cinder out of her train of thought.  

"As much the idea is appealing, I'd decline. With all disposed of respect, I'd rather end our time sooner, to meet prior commitments obviously," Cinder mentions, the words filled with masked disdain.

The tight-lipped smile that Natalie puts on at the remark, feels like a balm, a reality check to her, Cinder might not hold much power before the screen but she has been a Queen for years, and had been taught well to use her words to her advantage. From the very best.

"It won't be long," Natalie says, skimming through flashcards, as she mentions a few sponsors, "-we would like to talk about where you see yourself, in the future, perhaps, in a sense of legacy?"

Cinder hadn't thought about the future much, taking things as they came made her feel less alarmed about things around her. She worked in a job that made a difference, with a long-standing fortune, so there wasn't much to crib over.  

"I have more than what I'd wanted when I was 16, so that sense of fulfilment keeps away thoughts of plans. Speaking of legacy, being the revolutionary and Lunar Queen has given a permanent spot in the history books. I'm content with that, but what I would like is to continue to make a difference in the inter-habilitation of Lunars and Earthens, along with giving the deserved merit to cyborgs."

"That is immense, we have all seen the reforms put into place after your coronation, and we desire Star's glory for you, but we hoped to learn more of personal plans?" Natalie explained, looking genuine, for the first time throughout the entire period.

"My life is a public affair, whatever do you mean?" Cinder asked, puzzled at the remark.

"Perhaps a beau, marriage?"

At that Cinder has to visibly hold back a laugh, a partner sits last on her list of wants, and she wishes to keep it like that, at least for some time.

One excruciatingly painful heartbreak is enough for her 20s, she thinks, as she answers, "Well, I'm not quite fond of the idea of commitment, for a while, don't think I have found someone worth settling down for!"

But what if she had?

NO! She won't be going down that path again, forcing all introspections of her regrets and guilts and mistakes mixed.

"-and can we say it's because of some black-haired royal?" The host implies, that sparkle in her shows exactly how contended the reference has made her.

Precisely.

A scoff mildly hidden with a tight-lipped smile embraces her features, saying the very name she had forbidden herself from uttering, "Kaito, or as I know him, Kai, has influenced a lot of things in my life, and I couldn't ever be thankful enough for his help navigating through my early years as the Lunar Queen. Kai is always going to be someone that was meant to be in my life, not necessarily as a partner, perhaps a friend, I haven't quite figured it out yet. So Kai isn't stopping me from living my life, it's the inevitable loss of a future I'd imagined that keeps me at bay," Cinder answered, unable to hold her words, once she started talking about Kai.

Praying she hadn't used any loose words that could lead to speculating troubles.

'Kai, is always going to be someone that was meant to be in my life,' Cinder had said, but Kai wasn't part of her life anymore.

He had a wife, who probably despised the utterance of her name, Cinder didn't hold the thought against her. To think that your husband married you because it was the only possible thing in the cards would sour anyone's mood- however, Cinder doesn't know that for sure and doesn't know if Kai married Daiyu because it was realistic or for love.

The thought leaves a haunting chill deep in her bones, as she questions, whether Kai truly loved Cinder.

The small gestures, and gift exchange through Thorne, or endless time spent trying to find excuses for an inter-galactic excursion couldn't all be fake, she believes, they were too elaborate- no one would want to help her find her favourite colour and learn the symbolism behind it, all in vain to leave a gaping hole in their absence, it's too much of an absurd idea, Cinder thinks.

Kai might have been a born diplomat, and sometimes he didn't do what he meant, but he wasn't a liar, Cinder couldn't recall all the time he had told her he loved her.

Not many times obviously, she thinks, trying to keep the scowl off her face.

On nights, when she failed to sleep, she wondered, whether Kai had still kept her prosthetic leg, stored in some corner of his office, or if he had discarded it because it was too much explanation for Daiyu-

"Miss Blackburn?" Natalie asked, hands hovering everywhere, as she touched her arm, shaking Cinder out of her reverie.

"Oh, yes, forgive me, I got lost in thought," Cinder said, clearly shaken, pulled against the chair, gulping down the glass of water offered.

"Oh, as I said, now that you brought up your shared history with His Majesty, our interests are peaked. Perhaps, curious enough to know what led to your ultimate downfall," Sahoo asks.

Cinder has to stop herself from going rigid, having anticipated this question while signing the media agreement.

She looks around, trying to see if Iko is still in the room with her, but isn't able to look beyond the bright glare of the camera, and the room afterwards is too dark for any visibility.

Cinder wonders if she begged Natalie to stop opening her wounds, which she had tried too hard to keep hidden, will she give her the dignity to leave, then reminds herself that Sahoo is a media person, they are the most inhuman creatures to exist.

"Would it be too dramatic, if I said fate?" She says, trying to aim for a joke, that lands well, from the laughs that burst in the already tense room.

"I don't know what you expect, there's no scandal or rumours that led to our fallout. It was more gradual like dust being laid on countertops, where you don't notice it until your hand is painted black at the slightest contact. We realized that with both of our responsibilities and titles, a future that found a balance between the two was becoming fatalistic as we grew older. The realization, with all its disappointments that followed, was the moment when I knew, it wouldn't survive."

And it didn't.

Cinder keeps the latter part to herself, having withheld the information of the prejudices the Commonwealth Court held against her, it wasn't that the future was looking bleak that hurt, it was knowing that Kai had believed that convincing everyone would be impossible, and ultimately had failed to uphold his promises to her that had been the problem.

Kai had convinced her for years that he would marry her, and her Lunar origins or cybernetics wouldn't pose a threat.

The distance between them only managed to get larger as he continued to fail to gain support for their marriage, he avoided facing her with his shoulders drooped low in dread, and the comms were intercepted by Torin, informing her about his absence, later their excursions became fewer, as Court representatives were being sent in the place of The Emperor.

Cinder wasn't blind to the signs, which led to the uneventful night on her Peace Ball to New Beijing.

"Cinder," Kai whispered, as she entered his suite, jumping into his bed, as she discarded her slippers. Cinder couldn't fathom why they cleared a suite for her visit when they knew she would spend all her time with Kai.

"Stars, I missed this smell, that hoodie you gave me didn't even last a month," She yearns, diving deep into the sheets, trying to envelop herself in the scent of Kai.

Her bliss doesn't last long, as she realizes that Kai hasn't joined her, blinking one eye open, she finds him fiddling as his fingers pull at the hair, "What?"

"Uh, nothing," Kai lies, and she knows it without looking at the blink of the orange light against her screen, 10 years into loving someone, you know.

She nods, leaving her very comfortable position, and says, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"But I need to," he pleaded, heading towards the back of his room, and his erratic breathing pattern made her follow him as she came to stand behind him.

"Are you ok?" She asks, squeezing his shoulders, concerns heightened, not wanting anything to keep him so disheartened.

"You should take a seat," Kai advises, pulling a chair for her, and the action confuses her more than providing comfort.

Cinder stays quiet, giving him the space to find the courage to talk, and in the meantime, she rubs her thumb on the back of his hand, offering support, not quite realizing that she would need it soon.

"This," Kai begins, his desk holograph shows a large copy of some file named 'Council Report',"- is the Council's opinion on us, or rather you," he states, making Cinder consider if it would have been better to stay in the suite the Commonwealth is so adamant to book for her.

"-and this is the woman they want me to marry," Kai says, turning to a picture of some women in white coats and pants. Her retina scanner gives her adequate information, majorly being that she is Chen Daiyu and her father is a Zulan Military General, who has connections in high places, the prospect will offer monetary gains to the industries under the General.

"And you want to tell me this because?" She questions, already having imagined the answer to it.

"I don't know," Kai murmurs, head hung low, and the sight causes something in Cinder to shatter, dropping his hand, she pulls herself up, and hisses, "You want me to make what I want to out of that statement?"

"What is there to make of it?"

"That you want me to make the choice, because you don't want the guilt eating you up!" Cinder exclaims, her body heating up with the anger building in her chest.

"What?! You can't throw in charges when you know how hard I have been trying to get the future we envisioned," Kai rasps, rising above to meet her eyes, but she is too damned to look out for poetic incidents.

"Definitely not enough, because this picture and that file says it!"

"I didn't want to keep you in the dark-"

"About what?! That I could find rumours about you cheating on me with some woman the Council approves?" She screams, knowing well how out of line her words are, but the hurt and the pain that is being constricted with each pump of blood in her heart makes her forget about her senses.

Cinder knows that Kai isn't also happy about it, but right now all she wants to do is hurt Kai like he had with the news.

"That's enough," Kai bellows, standing inches away from her, fingers pressed against her jaw, and had it not been for their situation, Cinder would have leaned in for a kiss, make-up with kisses sprawled across his torso for apologies, instead she turns, only for his hand to pull her back.

She thuds against his chest, all efforts to get out of his hold in vain, as he tilts her head and vows, "I will never cheat on you. Sit and we can talk like adults."

Her anger was somewhat tamed by the words or possibly his cologne which distracted her enough to sit across from him and talk calmly, nevertheless, it didn't stay like that for as long as she started.  

"You can't marry me," Cinder states, the words she had overthought for months didn't seem like a ridiculous scenario now but rather a concrete problem that might cost them their future together.

"I told you that the Council is against the idea not-"

"Exactly what I said, you can't marry me." She cuts him off, uttering the word again. Repeating the word doesn't subdue its impact.

Kai sighs, fingers twitching away a headache and the action punches her in the gut, the full implication of her words hitting her. She believes that the room is swirling around her and the only person that will try to make it stop cannot do it.

"Cinder, I didn't want it to come to this."

"I know, Kai. I know that you want to marry me, but you can't and hence you won't."

"That is not tr-"

"Kai," Cinder croaks, "I might not see you every day but I'm not blind. I know when things become inevitable," having said it she locks her eyes, the burning sensation in her throat prevents her from speaking further.

She senses the warm palm covering her face and leans into the contact, Kai is staring sharply into her eyes, the intent evident in his copper brown eyes, as he swears, "I will not let you go."

"You don't get it, do you?" Cinder sniffs, "You did let it go when you came with the portrait of that woman."

His forehead fell against hers and Cinder could feel the salty water drops fall on her cheeks, that's all that it required for the stabbing headache to come in full course, but she didn't mind it.

She pulled her arms against Kai's neck, and found herself in a tight embrace, fingers gripping on his shirt, as she clings closer that it feels like sitting in his lap.

The long list of warnings asking her to remain calm angers her further as she shuts her eyes, forcefully shooing the flashing signs away. Kai heaves, shoulders shuddering with the raw emotion, and buries his face in the crook of her neck, fabric dampening with the tears, as he whispers apologies.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please. I'm so fucking sorry."

"I know. It's ok. Breathe Kai. Yes, I know. Breathe."

And once both of them had got some resemblance of calm, he pulled back, palms rubbing his eyes, his face having lost all of its colour looked lifeless. Cinder gazes at the gigantic dampness of her shirt, the cold is welcome against her excessive body heat.

"I didn't want it to come to this," Kai croaked, breaking the silence mixed with their sniffs.

Cinder sadistically smiles at that remark, unable to find the words, she decides to be blunt, "But we are here."

"What are we going to do?"

"What they want you to do." Cinder whispers, making Kai twist his body towards her, visibly shocked at her words, she stops his argument before it begins.

"I know you tried, Kai. I want you to admit it to yourself and let us go. I will make that decision for you. This is all that we get in this lifetime."

"But what if I want more than this?"

"Then you make amends with your heart, Kai. Because what you want isn't going to happen."

"Cinder, please," Kai rasps, hands reaching out for her, but she is quick to move, and the hurt that flashes in his eyes would haunt her for months to come.

"It's been going too long, Kai. Listen to the Council this time, meet with Daiyu, but don't let her father manipulate you," Cinder advises, getting up to move, but her feet get rooted to the ground as she takes in his suite, for one last time.

"What thought brought you here tonight, Cindy?" Kai asks, his nickname for her causes unimaginable pain, the casual tone makes her forget about the horror around her.

"That I missed you, and wanted to wake up to find you staring," Cinder exclaims, too quickly, the time before she entered his suite, seems ages ago. So much seemed to change, in such a short time, and Cinder would give anything for it to stay the same.

One glance at the grief-stricken Emperor and she realizes, he is tongue-tied. Ever the diplomat Kai, who taught her how to give speeches and stress the right words to officials, is at the loss of words because he doesn't know what to say to her, but then he manages to find it in him to find the right words again.

"If we weren't meant to be together, why did we have to meet and fall in love?"

"I don't know, Kai. I don't think I will ever know." Cinder replies and her feet find their way out, and just before she slams the door on their shared future, she informs, "I will ask Marcus to do the intended work in my absence. I'd leave early for Luna tomorrow. I don't-" Her words cut short, before she whispers, "Goodbye, Kai," and shuts the door.  

"-do you want to reapply your makeup, ma'am?" Someone asks her, shaking her awake. Cinder nods, not wanting to look tense in the light of her recent memory occurrence. There's been no signs of body overheating, so she takes it as a relief.

"Well, Miss Blackburn, a few more questions and we will cut it?" Natalie asks, coming forth with her assistant, Cinder nods, murmuring a few words of approval.

The lights flash up again, and the green light shows they are back on recording. Cinder makes a note to never sign up for interviews again, for whatever reason, and for the last time puts on a dazzling role to make everyone believe she is having a good time.

"Very well, Lunars and Earthen, we are here with the last segment of our shared time with Miss Blackburn. This would involve a few questions from our audience," Natalie says, as a card is handed over, "Our very first being, having made such diverse friends during the revolution, do you feel that the distance hinders your friendship?"

"Uh, I don't think drifting friendship has been a problem for us, and that is not denying that I'm closer to some than others. We have yearly visits, and group chats that keep us updated on each other's life, so the distance isn't much of a problem. However, it would have been fun to live closer and meet more often than we do," Cinder answers, thinking fondly about the Rampion Crew, she has grown to love more than anything.

This friendship would not be something that would be taken for granted, especially the one of Thorne, her heartfelt response would likely be followed by a teasing comm afterwards.  

"How wonderful to have friends that make you feel seen even with the distance," Sahoo coos, and for once Cinder agrees with her.

"Our next one, uh oh, I hope you don't mind this one, Miss Blackburn!"

Her remark confuses Cinder, but the follow-up question makes room for much misery.

"-what would you say about relationships that do not lead to permanent commitment?"

"I don't think what I say will sit well with many, I spent over 10 years of my life loving someone, and that did not lead to anything. But that doesn't make all the time shared worthless. Sometimes you find someone you would want to spend your entire life with, but you cannot- and when you reach that point, you find out whether you love that person so much that you can let them go, and find solace in watching them live a life you wanted to share with them."

Her words remind her of the question Kai had asked her, 'If we weren't meant to be together, why did we have to meet and fall in love?' and this time she knows the answer to the puzzle that had been sitting on her mind for long.

"Cut," the head cameraman yells, and Cinder notices Iko walking towards her, and announces, smiling cheekily as she flings her dark purple hair, looking almost apologetic, "Natalie, I hate to cut it short, but Selene needs to be elsewhere."

The scowl of disappointment that Natalie gives Iko, is taken well by her bosom friend, as she frowns, allowing a compromise of a show closure.

It's a small affair, over within minutes, Cinder thanks everybody around before she follows Iko out, knowing well that she hadn't had anything waiting after the interview.

"What was that?" She asks, hurrying into the small lobby of the hotel.

"I looked into the audience questions, most of them were about Kai. I intervened because I didn't want you to be cornered into answering anything you weren't comfortable with," Iko explains.

Cinder wants to hug Iko so tightly that she chokes on the embrace, instead side-hugging her frame as she whispers a 'thank you'.

"Do you think he would watch this?" Cinder asks as they wait for their pod to arrive, thinking what Kai will make of her words.

"If he is confused like you were, maybe he should. Nonetheless, his media person would convey the gest," Iko mutters.

She catches on to the past tense in her dialogue but chooses not to comment, knowing that if Iko is convinced, maybe it's time she should be too.

--

taglist: @gingerale2017 @slmkaider @impossiblesuitcase @kaiderforever @fangirlforever0704 @cinderswrench @salt-warrior

thanks for reading!!

[creampuffqueen]

Creampuffqueen Account Birthday Fic Bash!!!

Hello all my dear friends and followers!! Today is this account's sixth birthday, which is just wild to me. It's hard to believe I've been on tumblr for that long, but here we are. I just wanted to come on here and say how grateful I am for this account and all of the lovely friends I've made from it!

And, as a celebration, both of this account's birthday and the 400 follower milestone I recently passed, I will be opening up my fic requests!

It's been quite a while since I've done this, and it will likely be a long time before I do it again once this is over, so please take advantage of it while y'all can! I'm very excited to create things from my lovely followers' favorite characters and ships!

Now, there are a few rules/guidelines for this. Please take the time to read these before requesting!

When you send in a request, please send in the characters/ships you want AND some kind of prompt. it can be a quote, it can be one of those ship prompt things from a list, it can be some ideas and a general vibe. But please give me something to work with!

If I've posted for the fandom before, it's fair game. This is a multifandom blog and I enjoy all kinds of media. It doesn't matter how long ago it was, if you saw me post for that fandom then I will be down to write for it

These don't all have to be ship fics as I'm more than happy to write gen/friendship focused fics. If you do send in a ship, just note that for the most part I enjoy canon ships over non-canon ones. That's not to say I won't do something non-canon, not at all. But if you're stuck between two ships and one is canon while the other isn't, I'm more likely to enjoy the canon one. If you have a question about a particular ship, please feel free to send in an ask and I will let you know my thoughts on it!

Please keep all prompts SFW

BABYFICS!!! they are my specialty and I love writing them. If you've been craving seeing your favs with cute babies, this is the place to request it. Just putting this out here as I know babyfics aren't a lot of peoples' jam (which is totally cool) but they are mine! In fact they're some of my favorite things to write ;)

I reserve the right to refuse any request. If I won't write it, I will do my best to answer your ask with why so you can send another request if you want

You can send in multiple requests, but please keep in mind that I am just one person, and a busy college student at that. Please have patience! I will be doing my absolute best to get all of these written in a timely manner, but life happens, and I won't be sacrificing grades/personal life for these, no matter how excited I am to write them

I know that's kind of a lot but I want to keep things as streamlined as possible so everyone can request things easier!

Fic requests will remain open for a week or two, depending on how many I get. The fics themselves will be pretty short, probably ~1000 words each, give or take, so I don't burn myself out by writing all of them. This post will be my pinned post for as long as requests are open, and I will remove it once they are closed.

Happy requesting!! I can't wait to see everyone's ideas! Thanks for participating in my account's birthday bash!

For examples of my writing:

Writing Masterlist

Ao3 Account

[ibismessage]

Fic Recomendations

I'm not sure if this will reach anyone, but I made this tumblr because I've been having a particular hankering for The Lunar Chronicles fanfiction. I've been looking for some fluffy fics, and some fics that dive into the Lunar Gift in an interesting way.

I definitely intend to write my own, but I really need something to decompress after this past week. If someone has any good Lunar Chronicles fics they can recommend, send them my way!

I'd also be interested in the following fandoms:

Mouthwashing (post-game, or jumbotron-less aus)

Legend of Zelda (always my fluff go-to)

Batman

Avatar the Last Airbender (where my zukka shippers at???)

Basically, feel free to use this post as a dumping ground for fics, I'd love to read them and escape for a while! <3

[crescentchat]

my contribution to jacinter week!

wonderland 🍰🗝🫖🍄🃏

"tell me" 🎺🗽🕝⛓🍾

poison 🧪🪞🕊️❄️⚗️

[impossiblesuitcase]

I love your Kai & Torin fics as well as the Duty of the Prince so much. Kai’s perspective is underused in the series and the way you write his inner monologue is so perfect. Just wanted to tell you this 🧡

Aww thank you 🥹🥰 I attribute my ability to write his inner monologue with my living in his head for years now 😂. I'm glad you liked Duty of a Prince, I really liked that one even though I didn't think it would interest many people.

[gingerale2017]

Toothbrush

Fluff <333 Words: 2k Pairing: Cinder Linh x Kai Fandom: The Lunar Chronicles Setting: Around a couple months Warnings: None that I know of Ao3 Link

Someone could tell Cinder her nerves were all fried and dead and she would believe them. In fact she was surprised they were still functioning because they felt like they were on fire.

She sucked in a breath before she forgot to but it was shaky. She mentally cursed. Considering how close her and Kai’s bodies were, she was certain he heard the wobbly sound.

They decided (meaning Kai dragged a willing Cinder) to dance with each other late in the night in Kai’s room, despite the Peace Ball being three nights ago, an event where she was actually forced to dance. Kai might have said they were dancing tonight but no one could call this dancing. Instead their bodies were so close together that would surely mold together soon as they swayed.

She kept her eyes low and focused on the button on his chest. She felt as if her whole body was in turmoil. Perhaps, if she didn’t look at I’m she won’t screw up. Kai, being so close, could probably feel the erratic speed of her heart and her failed attempts to control her breathing. She was also 95% sure her hand was shaking while he held it. 

Kai, however, seemed perfectly calm, an emotion she envied very deeply in this moment. Perhaps he was lost in thought. Perhaps he was bored. Considering her lack of dancing skills, she reckoned he probably had enough with her.

He sighed suddenly, as if he were reading her thoughts, and the hand on her waist dug deeper into her back. He let go of their interlocked hands and guided hers to his neck. She gulped. He got impossibly closer as their chests met and their legs touched. 

“Cinder, my love, you don’t have to feel so tense,” he murmured, speaking for only the third time this night. They haven’t been very talkative, and for good reason. This proximity messed with her ability to breathe, how could she even dare to speak?

“Tense? I’m relaxed.” She lied.

“Then look at me while we dance. I promise you won’t have to lie when you say that.” 

Oh no. She had to resist his gaze.

Cinder chuckled awkwardly. “You talk as if your eyes are some magical item and can cure any disease whenever someone looks into them.” She said, still refusing to meet his eyes. She feared would melt or at least explode her brain.

Kai sighed again. “Darling.” he murmured, almost like he was chiding her. His hand travelled up her body in parallel to his whispers. She felt sparks from his trail, never pulling away, making her shiver. He reached her chin and tilted it up to his face. Oh no. 

Their eyes finally met and her skin erupted in goosebumps. Kai’s eyes never failed to make her knees weak. A romantic copper that lit up brighter than anything else in is room. What was once the sight she failed to avoid was now the only thing she could look at. She couldn’t look away if she tried.

It was hard to believe Cinder had managed to date the Emperor if the Eastern Commonwealth, but if anyone could, it would be the Queen of Luna.

His fingers on her chin moved to caress her cheek. His touch was definitely one of the best things she experienced with him. Her stomach did repetitive somersaults yet it did not bother her. Instead, it excited her, warming her up in the best ways. He moved his hand back to her waist.

“Shall we start again?” he said, already starting to sway. She nodded.

She felt the grip of his hands on her waist the most. In fact, she was sure he was holding her hips now. He tried guiding her back and forth but she could barely think. His eyes muddled her thoughts. She kept messing up the footwork but he reassured her with a knowing smile.

The room started to get stuffy and hot real fast. Why’d she wear long sleeves anyway? With sweatpants? In this warm climate? 

Back and forth. Side to side. Cinder forced herself to pay attention so she didn’t make a fool out of herself. Her breath came in short breaths that she worked hard conceal. But it was hard to focus when they maintained this kind of eye contact. It was intense and a little frightening, but soon enough Cinder reveled in it. 

The atmosphere shifted so quick that she almost didn’t notice. Like it was almost… natural. Suddenly there was less observing and more doing. He would slowly drag his hands from her waist to her chest while drawing circles with his fingers. Her own fingers began entangled themselves in his hair, though it was different from her habitual curling. More pulling instead. They seemed to do this on their own. His eyes darkened with something she couldn’t recognize. It made her want to do something. Cinder’s hands dug deeper into his hair, hugging his face closer to hers. She could feel his breath tickle her mouth. 

Warnings popped in her head. Thoughts we're impossible to form. Her eyes trailed to his mouth, carved elegantly on his face, and lips she wanted to kiss. Badly.

She looked up at him to find that he was starting at her lips which slightly parted at the discovery. He licked his own and started to lean in.

They met in the middle with a slow, enjoyable kiss that gradually got more passionate. Soon enough she was pulling at his hair, desperately kissing him without any thought of stopping. He pushed her back until she hit the wall. One of his hands grabbed her cheek while the other explored her lower body.

Kai left her mouth and started again on her throat, sowing kisses up and down on it. She gasped when he reached her collarbone, again when he squeezed her hip, and again when he returned to her lips. Cinder wrapped her arms around his neck, feeling more than content with his actions.

They slowed down a bit until they remembered air existed, panting extensively. His forehead bunched with hers and their lips illustrated matching flimsy smiles. 

“I wasn’t expecting that.” She confessed. Truly, she was surprised, but now that she thought about all the signs he’d been giving she should have at least anticipated it. The right space, the forced warmer climate, the crimson on his cheeks, her mind recalled all of it and truly she should have known better.

“Me neither. I’m not disappointed though.” He gave her a tender kiss on her forehead.

“Neither am I.” A peck on the cheek.

“Can you ditch the guest room and sleep with your dance partner tonight?” Kai asked. He gave her his signature puppy dog eyes and double downed with a kiss on her jaw.

Cinder sighed. “I hope so, but I have to get my stuff. I always want to, you know.”

A kiss on her other cheek. He was starting to pick it up again, as if he was saying ‘all right, break over, time for part two, let’s go, let’s go!’. 

“I know.” Kai barely grunted out, too preoccupied with sparking kisses on her neck. Cinder felt him care for the kisses he planted with careful detail before. He’d turn her neck into a rose garden soon enough and pick out her own flowers to give to her every morning. She subconsciously threw her head to give him more space. Her body obviously reacted kindly to his advancements. She never knew the lack of control she had over her body, or rather, the amount of control Kai had over hers. It was almost traitorous if she didn’t enjoy it. 

“Kai, I have to get my toothbrush.” No response. He must’ve not heard her. Now paying attention to the signs, she realized he was lost in a passionate cloud. 

He tried to push her even further on the wall that Cinder almost caved in. She decided she needed to put a stop to his activity before it went too far. Or, at least before he reached her lips because then she was confident she wouldn’t be able to control the consequences then.

Placing her palms firmly on his shoulders, she pushed gently until he realized what she was doing. His brow furrowed in confusion, then his eyes lost a little of its hungered haze. His face transitioned apologetically. “Sorry, I got a little carried away.” He straightened up. “So, will you spend the night with me, a handsome, charming, funny young emperor or in your dusty, unattractive, boyfriend-less room?”

She gave a dry laugh. “I already said yes but I need to get my toothbrush.”

He cocked his head. “At this point, just leave it here.”

“Well I need that among other things.”

“But it’s on a whole other floor!” He whined. Cinder held back a chuckle. He was unbearably cute when he couldn’t bear to be alone. “Borrow mine if you have to!” She forgot how desperate he gets. The best ego boost ever. 

“I’ll be quick.” This time she made a move and pecked him on the nose. He tried to glare but his ears reddened. “I promise.”

She left her spoiled Emperor before he could complain about her absence and practically ran to her room to collect all her things. To be honest, she wasn’t sure if she could bear to be alone again either. After so much of Kai, she could barely imagine virtually none of Kai. 

The Dark Days. They have been erraticated from her mind with no explanation. She wasn’t complaining.

Soon enough she was in front of Kai’s door with brushed teeth and fresh clothes.

When he opened the door he looked her up and down, lingering at certain moments, and raised an eyebrow. “Did you forget your toothbrush.”

“Uh, no, it’s in the bag.” She lifted a small tote bag that he was too blind to notice.

“You can always use mine.” He repeated. “It’s the same as kissing.”

“I can assure that it is not the same as kissing, and are the cause of many diseases.” 

“Such as?” 

She snorted. “Delusion. Which you don’t need more of.” She let herself in, forcing her way through Kai.

“Hey!” he countered. “On what grounds am I delusional?”

Sighing, she plopped herself on his bed. “I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that after I rejected to go to the ball with and you still persisted in asking me.”

“Well it worked out in the end, didn’t it?” Kai walked towards her in a very slow pace, as if he were executing some scheme.

“A revolution and a failed marriage later, it did.”

He reached the foot of the bed and crept on next to her as his goal. She gulped, a feeling of anticipation rose in her chest. “At least you’re here with me.” He inched closer until he was properly on top of her. “Safe.” He murmured, nearing her mouth. “Healthy.”

He suddenly grabbed her body, shocking her and inciting a surprised gasp. They flipped positions so that she was now on top of him. “And in my arms.”

A giddy and satisfied smile appeared on his face. She had the sudden need to wipe it off his face with her lips. More warnings lit up her vision and she blinked it away, along with the desirous thoughts. But they always lingered, like a short breath on a cold morning.

She didn’t know what to do with her arms, or her legs, or her waist. She was very much a ragdoll at this point and she wouldn’t have complained if Kai treated her as such. The only thing she could control was her head as it hovered over his. She had a feeling that if she didn’t kiss him, he would.

So she did. Slowly, tenderly, and mindfully. Her hands fired up again and found new places to trace on his chest. One of his hands got caught up in her hair while the other gradually palmed the skin of her waist. Cinder might’ve made a noise or two because Kai abruptly flipped them over again.

There was a ‘hmpth’ from one of them, she didn’t know who nor cared, and once again the kiss turned passionate. He pressed his body against her as the hand on her back slid up her shirt. He returned to her neck as her hands pulled on his pajama shirt. She felt repetitive and slightly painful tugs on her scalp as he tried to make more space for his mouth. It was more enjoyable than expected.

“Stars,” He muttered. She thought she imagined it until he kept going. “I love your neck.”

The words shocked her, even in that hungered haze. It made want to do something, to want more. She groaned as her hand grabbed his jaw and pushed it up until their lips met. She kissed him with a new type of craving, with the same type of desire from earlier. This is time she didn’t suppress it. Her metal hand slipped underneath his shirt and rubbed his back, while her fleshed one tugged his hair in a frenzy. More gasps and small noises were let out. Every time she heard her name escape his lips she would respond by kissing him on the sensitive part of his neck where she’d get more response out of. It gave her more drive to feel and peck his skin, to kiss and suck his lips, to whisper and murmur his name. Her heart pounding in her chest made it all the more intense, and even more so when she could feel his.

The more she thought about them, the more Cinder wanted to smile. While her lips were practically hovering over his ear, she couldn’t help but grin, then laughter spilled out. She dug her head into the crook of his neck, trying, and failing, to stop herself.

He pulled away so they met eye to eye. How he got underneath her, she couldn’t remember, but, stars, he was gorgeous in this angle. And his shirt was practically undone so her eyes couldn’t help but linger. She felt his soft fingers draw circles on the small of her back as he grinned up at her.

“What’s so funny, my love?” Kai asked. His voice was rough and lips plump from kissing for so long. It was surprisingly attractive. Well, it shouldn’t be surprising because almost everything about Kai is attractive, especially to her.

“I don’t know. I just felt like laughing.” She let out another giggle. “I feel so…” She paused, searching for the right word.

“Happy? Joyful? Bliss?” He offered.

“Euphoric.” She smiled, kissing his nose. She rather liked his nose, as she did his neck, and his face, and oh-so-mangificent eyes, and his elegant hands, and his intelligent voice, and his lips, oh stars his lips! She adored his lips, and how they felt against hers. Especially how they felt against hers.

Her gaze paused at the swollen sight, trying her best to swallow the urge to devour them again. Just how plump could they get anyway? 

Kai had other plans. He grinned like an amazed artist satisfied with his work. He brought his hands to either sides of her bare hips, making her heart jump in excitement, and laid her down next to him.

Their eyes met for the thousandth time that night but in this moment she saw stars, galaxies, and universes of wonder in his. 

“Kai?” She murmured, breaking the silence.

“Yes, my love?”

“I think I’m going to sleep here tonight.”

He smiled, eyes tinkling at the joke. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, my love.”

He pulled her close so they could fold on each other, limbs intertwining with limbs. She smiled as her cheek pressed to her chest. His leg rested on her hip and his hand played with her locks.

Not very long after, their hearts matched each other’s beats and they fell into a long and comfortable sleep.

A/N: So here's that one make out pic I promised to post... Whatever. Hope you like :D Tell me if you no like D:

Tagging: @just2bubbly @cinderswrench @cindersassasin @the-wee-woo-royal @deprivedmusicaljunkie @crescentchat @notjacinclay @wheresmymom-imlost @salt-warrior @rapunzelfromthemoon @briggycat @impossiblesuitcase @kaider-is-my-otp @definitelynotisabel @wassupnye (these are for my kaider ONLY fics so please ask if you want to be tagged or removed <3)

[salt-warrior]

I’m weeks late, but happy birthday, @cosmicnovaflare! Thanks for being my oldest and dearest tumblr friend. I hope you enjoy this fic, dedicated to you and all your ancientness<3

Wildest Dreams

Summary: Kai wakes up before Cinder, and she wonders what’s up with him. (WC: 1.3k)

Cinder awoke to the gentlest caress down her nose. In years past, a sensation of such a sort would have startled her—eyes open, body out of bed. But her head was filled with softest sleep, and she felt safe here, warm, as if all were right and good in the world.

She let out a soft hum, tilting her face upward as Kai’s fingers traced the curves of her cheeks, the line of her brow, the arch of her lips. She heard him laugh, a low sound so early in the morning. A smile claimed her face, and she opened her eyes to see Kai, propped up on one arm as he looked down upon her, hair clouding his eyes, the faintest blush decorating his cheeks.

“What are you doing awake so early?” Cinder asked, raising her chin to accept his kiss.

Kai rolled his eyes. “I can wake up before you.”

“You never do.”

“Now that’s just not true.”

Cinder propped herself up to look at him, eyes as level as they were mischievous. She poked him in the chest. “Name one time.”

“Oh, don’t you start.”

She laughed, then flopped back down on her pillow, pulling him toward her, his face pressing into the crook in her neck as he mumbled inaccurate words in his defense that only made Cinder laugh harder. Her fingers played with the ends of his hair, her spare arm creeping around him to hug him close.

“What?” Cinder asked when Kai mumbled something she couldn’t quite hear.

“I said I love hearing your laugh in the morning,” he said. “It’s the only thing that makes waking up worth it.”

Cinder felt her heart pinch, as it so often did where Kai was concerned. Once, she hadn’t been sure whether she was capable of love—whether she would ever have it in her life. Between Adri and Pearl and everyone else who regarded her as a monster because she was a cyborg, she hadn’t thought it possible that another person would want her. Would love her. Would be happy to wake up beside her in the morning. She didn’t think she would ever get over her own surprise. That she would get over how dearly she loved Kai.

Shifting, Kai pulled back, resting his face on her pillow, their faces only inches apart. The soft glow of the sun’s gentle haze bled through the window, shedding warmth and light on them both. Their hands, resting upon the bed’s cover, met and twined together. Kai brought the back of her hand up to his lips, then rested their joined fingers below his chin. She watched him all the while, until his eyes met hers, unmatched in understanding, and she wondered where she would be if not for him.

“Today’s our anniversary,” Kai said, voice quiet. “That’s why I woke before you. Although, let the record show that this is not the first time this has happened.”

Cinder blinked, her chest tightening. Her brain interface conjured the day’s date, and she shook her head, confused.

“Kai, our wedding was in—”

“I’m not talking about our wedding anniversary,” Kai cut in, rolling his eyes once again. Had her heart not been racing, Cinder would have told him—not for the first time—that if he continued to roll his eyes as much as he did, they might stay that way.

“Then what are you talking about?”

“The anniversary of the day we met. It’s been five years. Five years since I came to your booth in the marketplace. Little did I know I was about to meet the love of my life.”

Cinder scoffed. “If I remember correctly, you thought I was supposed to be an old man.”

“Once again, you were not what I was expecting,” Kai said dryly. “But if you had been an old man, I probably would have still fallen in love with you.”

“You were that desperate to get out of marrying Levana?”

“Definitely. But in your defense, I think you would make an attractive old man.”

“Gee, thanks,” Cinder said, struggling to maintain a straight face.

“But I’m glad you’re not an old man. To be clear,” Kai added. He blew a little puff of air at her face, scattering her bangs. She scowled at him. “I like you just the way you are.”

Cinder watched his face, that little piece inside of her that doubted herself—that piece that spoke in Adri and Pearl’s voices—waited for him to laugh. To say he didn’t mean it.

He did not laugh. Instead, he watched her intently, every action reassuring. His thumb rubbed the back of her hand. Her fingers squeezed his tighter.

“You’re my favorite part of every day,” Kai said, his voice completely sober. “I woke up this morning wondering where I would be if not for you. And I realized that I would likely be dead. My brain manipulated, my body and title used until Levana got what she wanted, before she killed me. A knife to the heart, the plague, my own hand turned enemy.” Cinder let go of his hand and pressed hers to his cheek, brushing hair and wetness from his eyes.

“I never thought I would have the opportunity to marry for love,” Kai continued. “I never thought I would be with someone that I even liked. In all my wildest dreams, I could have never imagined you. You saved me. You saved us all.”

“It’s not something I did alone.”

“But it’s something that no one else could have done,” Kai said. “Help or no help, no one could have stood in your place and united Earth and Luna. You did what both my father and I failed to do.”

“Kai . . .”

He smiled at her. “I’m grateful, that’s all. And proud. And so unbelievably happy.”

“Me too,” Cinder said. “Five years ago, the best I could hope for was my own emancipation. To run off to Europe with Iko. I never could have imagined you, or our friends, or intergalactic peace. It just—sometimes I worry that I’m going to wake up and discover that it was all just a dream.”

Kai shifted his face beneath her hand to kiss her palm, his own hand circling her wrist. “It’s not a dream,” he whispered. “My imagination definitely couldn’t have conjured finding Princess Selene at the marketplace. Or you escaping prison with an American convict. Or me being kidnapped on my wedding day. Or anything else that happened. It’s too crazy.”

“You’re right,” Cinder laughed. She wondered why, five years later, Kai was thinking of the first time they’d met. Not once in any of the other years of them knowing one another had either of them brought it up. There were always more pressing anniversaries to consume the mind in the middle of August. Rikan’s death. Peony’s. But perhaps time was allowing them to move forward—not to forget, but to make room. Maybe time—space, everything—let the light shine through, gave them the eyes to see the good that had happened with the bad.

Cinder would never not miss Peony, just as she knew that Kai would never not miss his father. That grief and pain would always be a part of them, but so would all the joy and peace that they brought one another.

She leaned forward, pressing her lips to Kai’s. It was a sweet, slow kiss, tangled with five years of knowing and loving one another. Of making it through everything, of proceeding in the world together.

“I’d do it all again,” Kai said when they broke apart. “Just to be here now with you.”

Cinder kissed the tip of his nose, a smile playing on her lips. “Me too.”

[theviolettulip]

I'm refering specifically to fics that have more than one fandom, but it's all part of the same challenge. Would you prefer all chapters together or each one being a seperate fic in a series? Like how Ao3 has the option to make a series.

[cyborgcourt]

GUYS.

Look at her little baby hand just dangling and those lashes aw. Plus the red lips okayyy. My girl came out the womb serving since day 1