#seriously can he have a name

[asfateentertwines]

Look I know we’re not getting shit with the episode count now a days but obsessed with flashbacks to the people the ghosts loved in life. Like let them haunt the narrative PLEASE

Janet whose father spirals, always thinking of how he could have saved her if he forced her to stop. Getting worse and worse, doubling down on his beliefs even as he crumbles. Her brother, forced into the role she dreamed of. Knowing that every step he takes leaves her bloody footprints behind him. How she feels so forgettable but her shadow has been at every one of her family’s shoulder for decades. Her father dying at the hand of incompetence and feeling her fingers dig into his flesh knowing she would have been great. That his faith in a twisted falsity won’t forgive him. The eyes in the fire burn their skin and scorch their pride.

Rhonda who so clearly left love behind. Her best friend seeing her in every blur in her peripheral. How the lyrics turn acidic in her mouth, how she hears a snort and “seriously, cherry pop?” every time but her voice is so, so hoarse. How the gravel in her own burns like hands on her own skin. Rhonda who stuck her classmates to the core. It had to be her fault, had to be, or else it could be them. Or it could be theirs. Rhonda who is swept away but holds an iron grip on their shoulders. Who watches over every failure with the surety that she would have been better. Her parents, crushed under the loss of the only good thing they ever did. Marjorie’s voice lingers and generations feel her fingers over their throat; a lost mystery that drags them forward.

Wally being the fragility of their own lives. Untouchable and above it all, dying in an instant with a broken neck and the promises he was made. The future they were so sure he had, the way he could have made it. But no one knew him. Every story is empty, every memory wrong, he’s forgotten even with a thousand retellings and a blaring stadium named after him. His mother standing in the moment he had. Lost in a split second loop even as decades move past her. How he moves on before they do, haunting because of what they lost in him and no one remembering what he lost for himself. A life lived and mourned for others.

Charley who was swept under the rug. Who no one wants to think of. Who makes them consider their cruelty, they humanity. Who died surrounded by people, knowing they coaxed him into death with kicks and laughs. How an accidental death with no murderer is still a trial of human cruelty. Emilio, aching for years at his own naivety, trying to be better, to make it better for the next Charley. Except Charley is always there (actually this time) and he still can’t hold on. Moving on and feeling every breath stolen from someone else’s lungs. How one boy meant nothing and said so much about people who never saw him. His parents, asked the question of would they rather a dead or gay son but knowing there was never a choice cause they were one and the same and maybe that’s their fault. Emilio holding his husband, seeing baby Charlie on the monitor, knowing a part of him will never not be 17.

Idk if any of this made sense but just give me the people left behind, let them have an impact. I’m losing my mind

[kizzer55555]

DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game

Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter. 

Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.

The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge. 

And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).

And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game. 

Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.

(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).

After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely). 

Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.

[dumbfucksystem]

do you guys think anyone remembers to put flowers on airplane’s grave…

[doctorsiren]

Like with any media I get into, an AU is sure to follow, so here’s something @sleepysquib and I have been cooking up!

We wanted Haibara to live, that was it :D

Here’s a “brief” summary of his whole deal:

During August 2007, his second year at Tokyo Jujutsu High School, he went on a mission with fellow second year Nanami Kento. The mission’s level turned out to be higher than expected. Haibara received critical wounds, but was able to escape with Nanami with their lives. He was healed by Shoko’s reverse curse healing technique.

After his brush with death, he realized that he needed to be taking this more seriously. That, combined with Geto’s betrayal, led him to becoming less naive. However, he didn’t want to lose his positivity, so he focused on increasing his abilities through his emotions, eventually becoming promoted to Grade 1.

After graduation, Nanami still ran from the life of a jujutsu sorcerer, while Haibara stayed in that world. He saw his role as something akin to a superhero, and took it in stride, calling himself “Cupid” and being very public about his status. He quickly became popular and gained a fanbase, taking pictures and signing autographs for them when he has time.

Being received well by the media and being good on camera, Haibara became somewhat of a PR boy for the jujutsu sorcerers. He could make a bad situation sound less terrible through his natural charm.

Nanami and Haibara remained best friends during the time that Nanami was working as a salaryman. Eventually, Nanami learned the bakery lesson and realized his place was as a sorcerer. He returned to that life and was quickly paired with Haibara for many missions.

Haibara knows that the world isn’t the happy place he wishes, but he tries to be the change he wants to see and spreads positivity. He also does this in hopes of lessening the amount of cursed spirits created by the negative emotions of humans.

As a result of always expressing positivity, his negative emotions are naturally bottled up. He does this on purpose, stockpiling his negative emotions so he can release and harness their power if a battle becomes that dire. His last resort is to unleash his negative emotions, which increases his power greatly for a brief period of time. After this burst of power, he is left exhausted and drained and will need to recover. He is aware that he is being “toxically positive” but does so to increase his power with negativity later.

He doesn’t express joy all the time and doesn’t force himself to express it every moment of the day, but he will always express positivity in public and during battles to keep up morale and his image (although he doesn’t care about image in a narcissistic way).

He is liked by most people and others vent and confide in him. The personal sharing of their negative emotions adds to that stockpile that he can use if necessary.

Haibara tries to not express his own negative emotions to others because it will decrease that stockpile inside and he knows he needs to save that for dangerous battles. He knows it’s not healthy but he does it for the good of Japan, seeing himself as a superhero.

Much like a cursed spirit, his greater power increases when those around him have expressed negative emotions, but he doesn’t like to acknowledge the fact that he has something in common with cursed spirits.

Lives by the mottos of “With great power comes great responsibility” and “greet the world with open arms”

[beatcroc]

pest control.

bonus:

*UPDATE: i made a sequel

[ryllen]

said wolf,

🐺

[jasontoddsgaythoughts]

If DC wants to keep pushing out different types of Gotham War comics for every year, they may as well make a Gotham Batman Ships war next year. They get to make light fun of their fans. Batman is spread all over somewhat romantically like hummus. They get to bring in different heroes and Gotham villains to fight reluctantly (they don’t want the Batman they just want the honor). The batkids get to sit cute on the sidelines and laugh at their dad’s misery. It’s fun

[xxplastic-cubexx]

thinkin bout magneto's lil list of aliases from that One Shot of his government file or w/e in 97 and how it lists the three main men who've played him (David Hemblen, Ian McKellen, Michael Fassbender) and kinda cackling at the idea 1.) if they included All his names 2.) having 'michael' on that list twice

[bruciemilf]

Okay but TJ being a doctor like Thomas but an at home one and he would be Batman when desperately needs him to be (Bruce is sick or hurt or away on business for example)

This makes so much sense for some reason and it seems canon to me

I hear you but chaotic deli owner TJ is so near and dear to me, — don’t get me wrong, guy is canonically a genius, and he FOR SURE hooks Bruce up with the latest tech (thanks to Lucius too, ofc. They’re science bros)

I truly do think TJ wakes up every morning , and his first thought is “hm how can I make Pop twist in his grave today” and just. Does it. Alfred has to live with the fact that his boys are walking disasters, and he wouldn’t change them for the world

[chaoticgoodcaptain]

today, i've heard "best friend" by juice wrld and it makes me so happy that patrick stump sounds so happy on that song like i know he loves music but before the fob tour he sounded professional yet there was just this slight hint of apathy, now i swear he's living his best life truly enjoying his work

[gingermintpepper]

hi I love your tags so so much! they were so sweet and so interesting and creative and the whole Aphrodite type of beauty thing sounds really interesting do you have any articles and recommendations to read further into it??

-hogoflight

Hello my fine feathered (I am assuming possession of feathers if you are, indeed, capable of flight) @hogoflight! I'm always always happy to hear that people appreciate my frenzied rambling in the tags :D! I have a lot of articles and recommendations :D!! Ancient Greek notions of beauty and representations of it in their art and sculptures is a pretty well studied topic! There isn't any way for us now to know definitively what the beauty standard was (it varied widely from region to region and culture to culture after all) but here are a couple of my favourite reads about Aphrodite and what her representations tell us about idealised beauty!

Probably the most empirically extensive one I can list is Krönström's thesis which compares statues of Aphrodite and literary text referring to both the goddess and mortal women to determine physical ideals for women in five specific eras of Grecian antiquity. Including measurements of the statues there are many descriptions of Aphrodite as 'curvy' with a 'voluptuous figure' and with 'ample buttocks and bosom'.

"When the beauty traits are described in the texts, they are never extreme or anything that could not be found in normal people just that they are more beautiful in every aspect. Furthermore, the sculptures’ physical forms look healthy, they are tall and have distinct curves. Great examples of this are the Knida sculpture and de Milo (the Melian) sculpture."

Of course, these images are still idealised, and there was still a concept such as 'too fat' or 'too skinny' found in written records (and this thesis even includes analysis of pornographic writings and descriptions of the fashion and stylings of pubic hair of women from different regions!!) but from an interpretational standpoint? There is absolutely no reason why these can't refer to a fuller figure. Height was also a very important factor after all and over the course of many eras, it seems like being well proportioned in addition to the length and appearance of one's hair were the most important factors (and, like Apollo, greater beauty was given to those with curlier hair)

Mireille M. Lee's 'Other Ways of Seeing' essay which talks about the forgotten female viewers of Knidian Aphrodite which is also extremely illuminating on how Aphroditic sexuality and sensuality was perceived totally differently from the well documented male voyeuristic gaze (which was overly preoccupied with the statue's nakedness and therefore over-sensationalised the statue's physical appearance) vs women's perspective on the statue which is more centered on the beauty of simplicity in Aphrodite's garment and decoration and in her power and ability to captivate both in her finery and without it. I think it's especially useful in exploring the importance of finery, jewellry and adornment in representations of Aphroditic beauty.

"Some of the small-scale copies are heavily jeweled, especially those from the eastern Mediterranean, for example the Hellenistic gilded terracotta statuette in the Çanakkale Museum (Fig. 5) in which the goddess wears, in addition to the armband on her (right) arm, the following: a necklace with multiple pendants; cross-bands extending over both shoulders and hips, with a cascading pendant in the center; a coiled snake armband on the left arm and another snake on her left thigh, and a twisted anklet on her right leg. (The left leg has been restored, and might also have featured an anklet.)"

"Jewelry is especially associated with Aphrodite in Greek literature. As seen above, in the Homeric Hymn to Aphrodite, the goddess adorns herself with gold jewelry, dress-pins, and earrings in the shape of flowers (162–3)..."

Finally, and to me, the most important one in the argument for an interpretation of Hyacinthus as fat, beautiful and fundamentally Aphroditic comes from Brilmayer's brilliant brilliant thesis done on Aphrodite's work and influence in Archaic Greek Poetry which does away with all of that masculine preoccupation with physical proportion, measurement and bodily ideals for a focus on a Sapphic Aphroditic ideal centered in clothing, ornamentation and, most importantly cunning as symbols of Aphrodite and ultimately a feminine idealised form of beauty. This paper also discusses Pandora and Helen in these terms and it is just kind of a wonderful read tbh.

"Combining Homeric and Hesiodic elements with her own ideas, she [Sappho] alters the way female beauty is viewed. For example, the Homeric war chariot – a symbol of male, military prowess - comes to symbolise the totality of Aphrodite’s power uniting in itself male and female qualities. Having addressed the concept of beauty directly, Sappho then concludes that beauty lies in the eye of the beholder. With the help of Helen of Troy and her beloved Anaktoria, Sappho sets out to reinvent the concept of female beauty as a godlike, subjective quality that may be expressed in many ways, yet remains inspired by Aphrodite."

The conclusion to all of this of course is that Aphroditic ideal beauty is much more fluid compared to its stricter Apolline masculine standard. The nuances and understandings of both are of course, constantly being studied, analysed and scrutinised but really, if Dionysus who was both bearded and clean shorn, effeminate, birthed and rebirthed (and twice gestated!) and strongly associated with vegetation can be popularly portrayed as fat and handsome, why can't Hyacinthus?!

[daily-hanamura]

[maragarita]

This is the first time I've been able to watch an episode of maws as it airs so here's my take on S2E6!

• Clark is actually being mean and sassy and I love him for it like yes bby please wake up in a better mood next time you were kidnapped not murdered

• I didn't realize in the preview clip that aired a few days ago but Kara's eyes grey out even when she says "model citizen" at the beginning of the episode!

• the look when Clark sees Lois : (( the poor boy didn't even have time to process the breakup before he got knocked out and thrown into space but also she was the first thing he thought of when Kara asked if anyone cared for the real him :((((

• Clark says ow when he fights with Kara over the Polaroid! It's so natural that it took me a second to realize that he probably doesn't normally feel pain from playful roughhousing??

• the fact that Clark immediately clocks Kara the way Jimmy clocked him and Lois. The little shimmer in his eye when he asks if she likes him

• "what, no, what? I don't even know what that means. Stop being all weird with your stupid earth brain" this whole sequence makes me REALLY REALLY look forward to a post-brainiac maws where Clark and Kara can just be cousins in metropolis together (which I fully believe the maws crew will make happen)

• Cousin snowball fight I cryyy

• For a second I almost believed we were actually going to see space traveling and new planets but makes sense

• ok it's been lowkey before this episode but is Clark actually kryptonian super saiyan I don't know the lore

• Kara actually did genocide while brainwashed oh no

• I'm sorry I'm sorry WHAT Jimmy and Lois both 1. Found MM and the brain from the OTHER DIMENSION they traveled to and 2. WENT INTO SPACE TO FIND CLARK my joy is unending I love this show

• Clark is actually going to be used as a weapon nooo poor boy just wants to help I can't handle a world where the maws version of Clark Kent is a murderer :((((

Final thoughts, love! The maws crew is already doing such a good job of making Clark and Kara feel like cousins and I'm so happy she's in the show even though I was honestly hesitant about it at first. The next episode is called Olsen's eleven and once again I am. My joy is immeasurable. I love this show. I love that we get to experience it every week instead of all at once because now I get to comb through all the small animation details while I waitt!!! I'm just sad there were no phones in this episode because HOW will I know if it's still Monday may 9th now???

[deathnguts]

Hi, I was doom scrolling through your blog like a freak and I came across a rag where you said that you thought sirius was delusional and a bad person. Can I ask why? Genuinely curious

Hi hi, yeah I’ve probably said that before. I probably meant that Sirius should be allowed to be delusional, but same idea. Anyway I’m gonna ramble.

I think that Sirius is an undiagnosed narcissist, I think he definitely still struggles with the biases he was born into (both in his social class and blood purity and old world misogyny) and his idea that his innately better than other people and merely misunderstood when put down. I don’t think he understands his privilege and I fully believe he simultaneously views himself as some victim that can never do wrong only be wronged and also some rebellious hero that does things no one else has the balls to. He clearly lacks empathy for anyone that isn’t the potters and proves that in pretty much every canon memory of him in his youth and sometimes in his actions concerning Harry vs anyone else. He clings onto the few people he likes with an iron grip that surely burns sometimes but then also constantly tests their patients with his actions to just dare them to leave.

And like it makes complete sense. When raised in a house that both tells you you are better than everyone just because of your blood but also beats it into you that you will never be perfect and everyone can tell, that’s prime breeding grounds of npd.

And me saying that Sirius is a bad person is out of love. I say this about every character I enjoy, case in point every post I’ve ever made about regulus. I don’t think anyone should be a good person ever, and surprise no one is. Especially not a member of the house of black let’s be fucking real.

Insecure, just trying his best, oh poor abused boy who can’t do anything Sirius pisses me the fuck off I don’t think there’s a single character that actually is this. Everyone is an asshole. James doesn’t believe he can do wrong and everyone else proves hips ideology right every day, Remus is a tortured soul who runs from confrontation and lets the guilt eat him instead of ever changing, Peter hypes up anyone who gives him the time of day no matter what they preach, regulus is… regulus, literally what about him screams good person (I will always fight for the fact that he did try though, not everyone can say that and honestly it’s only the fact he tried so late in his short life that made him any worse than anyone else)

But yeah to get back to the point, yes I think Sirius is a bad person but no I do not think that is a bad thing. If anything I’m over the moon every time he makes a mistake that hurts others and bites like a cornered dog to defend himself as always right because when has Sirius black ever been dished consequences for his own actions? Never. Every consequence hes ever experienced (Azkaban, his parents, etc) has always been for things he actually didn’t do. That fucks with the mental state of a growing boy is all I’m saying.

[worldsokayestdragon]

The Transitive Property

Read on AO3

Ed couldn't sleep the first night after Greed joined his little crew-sorry, after they joined Greed.

The voice of reason in his head (sounding annoyingly like his little brother) pointed out that this was probably because he wasn't trying to sleep, but that wasn't the point. 

The point was he found himself sitting awake by the dying fire-long after Darius and Heinkel had turned in for the night and started snoring loud enough to alert all of Amestris to their location-staring at Greed while trying not to let the homunculus catch him looking.

And it was stupid! Why should he have to hide what he was doing? It wasn't like he even really cared about Greed. He was looking for any signs of Ling. His boyfriend had been possessed right in front of him (willingly, on purpose, like the stubborn asshole he could be when he felt like it) and then disappeared for months only to show back up long enough to freeload all of Ed's food-again-and have a five minute conversation before getting reabsorbed into the monster possessing him. Quite frankly, Ed thought he was more than justified in staring. He had every right to interrogate, to poke and prod, to demand to speak to Ling.

The voice that sounded too much like Al reminded him that pissing Greed off and potentially driving him away wouldn't help him get Ling back, that just because something was justified didn't mean it was smart, and that eventually he'd have to stop flying off the handle all the time and learn to be more strategic.

So Ed restrained himself to observing. It didn't make him feel better. It was Ling's face in front of him, except that it wasn't. Familiar features of a person he cared about forming expressions that were all wrong, his boyfriend's body with someone else's posture. Greed hadn't spoken for a while, but Ed knew that his voice would be too low, too rough, the Amestrian accent grating on Ed's nerves when it came out of Ling's mouth.

But there were glimmers of hope. As they sat in silence, Greed's expression changed every so often. The shifts were tiny, subtle, but Ed knew Ling's face well enough to spot them even if he couldn't be sure what they meant on Greed. The corners of his lips twitched as if fighting a smile, his eyebrows furrowed in the barest start of a frown. occasionally he tilted his head as if listening to someone or formed his mouth around words without vocalization. There was no one else around, and he wasn't talking to Ed, so all signs pointed to Greed and Ling having some sort of internal conversation. Really the fact that he was sitting quietly supported that hypothesis; the Greed they'd met in Dublith had never shut up, and this version had seemed just as chatty back in Central.

If Ling was aware and strong enough to keep a running commentary to Greed, he might be able to seize another opportunity to take back control of his body. If nothing else, maybe the dumbass could annoy the homunculus into trading a few minutes conversation for some peace and quiet.

Or maybe he'd annoy Greed too much and get his consciousness completely destroyed, pushed so deep into the philosopher's stone it would never resurface. Greed may have turned on the other homunculi, but that didn't mean he was a good person now. For all Ed knew he might hold no more value for human life than the rest of his wacko little "family". 

Ling could be in very real danger, could already be suffering, and there was nothing Ed could do about it, he couldn't even know for sure, and what kind of useless boyfriend-

Greed broke the silence with a low growl, effectively interrupting the spiral of doom Ed's thought had been trapped in. He was glaring at Ed now, apparently having caught on to all the staring and not appreciating it. The growl sounded more frustrated than aggressive, but still. Ed shifted, getting ready to jump to his feet and run or fight if necessary.

"Alright short stack, if you're gonna sit there angsting at me all night you could at least tell me what your deal is."

Ed shot to his feet, hands balled into fists as he shouted down at Greed, "Who are you calling short?! I'll kick your ass right now!" So much for not flying off the handle, but a man had to have standards.

Greed didn't rise to meet him. He looked calmly up at him from his seated position, apparently completely unconcerned with Ed's rage. He looked more amused than anything, which did nothing to improve Ed's mood.

"Yeah, sure you will," Greed agreed, too easily to be anything but patronizing. "But seriously, would you tell me what your problem with me is? As your new leader, I can't have this kind of hostility from my henchmen."

Ed bristled at the henchman comment, but bit back any retort to it. He had agreed to following Greed after all, and it really wouldn't bother him if he wasn't already so pissed.

"My problem with you?" Ed scoffed. "Well, putting aside what happened in Dublith-"

Ed cut himself off sharply when pain flashed across Greed's face, different from how Ling would wear it but still unmistakable. It occurred to him that everyone Greed had known in Dublith had ended up dead, and that Ling had been pretty vague about what had caused Greed to freak out and let him gain control.

Maybe poking that particular sore spot wasn't the best idea. Ed might not have a reputation as the nice Elric brother, but he didn't try to be outright cruel.

Before Ed could beat himself up too much about putting such a sad look on Ling's face, even by proxy, it disappeared behind Greed's usual smug expression.

"What happened in Dublith, huh?" he asked. "I thought I remembered seeing you there. Honestly though, that whole scene's a little fuzzy, so I still don't know why you're looking at me like you wanna kill me."

"You kidnapped my brother and beat the shit out of me!" Feeling bad about how things turned out didn't give Greed a pass for starting the whole mess.

Greed tilted his head. "Huh? Doesn't everyone do shit like that to you, though? I mean, you said those chimera guys were trying to kill you when you met."

"That's..." Ed faltered. Technically it wasn't an incorrect assessment. Lots of people attacked him when meeting him for the first time, and he didn't usually hold a grudge over it. Hell, Ling had ordered his personal guards to beat some answers out of Ed and Al, and then Ed had agreed to go on a date with him a few hours later. Lan Fan hadn't pulled her punches either. 

But just because their fight in Dublith hadn't been too out of the ordinary (god his life was weird) didn't mean Ed didn't still have plenty of reason to hate Greed.

"Fine then, maybe I'm pissed because you're possessing Ling! You stole his body and now you're walking around wearing his face, doing who knows what to him in there, and you won't fucking let him go!"

"Whoa whoa whoa." Greed held up his hands as if trying to hold back Ed's anger. He didn't look exactly apologetic, but he'd dropped the smirk and seemed to be taking the conversation seriously for the first time. "Couple of problems with all that. One, it wasn't my idea to possess the guy. I can't exactly control what dear old dad does with my stone when I don't have a body, and it's not like I can just leave once I'm in here. Two, I didn't steal shit. He agreed to give me his body. We had a whole conversation about it. This is my body now, and you not liking it doesn't change the fact that it was Ling's choice. And three, I'm not doing anything to him. If anything it's what he's doing to me, damn princely brat's been talking my ear off since I got this body, it's seriously annoying.”

Ed really wished he could believe that.

“So you're not torturing him to prove you're better than humans or punish him for defying you or whatever? Because I talked to Envy about how you homunculi feel about humans, and it doesn't seem like you'd be cool with sharing a body just like that.”

Greed gasped and put a hand to his chest like he'd been shot. “Did you just compare me to Envy? Envy's a fucking asshole! Their whole ‘humans are garbage I'm so much better’ thing is their own personal problem, I don't give a shit about any of that. Humans, chimera, any of the other homunculi that don't end up dead, it doesn't matter. They'll all belong to me once I take over the world!”

Ed should maybe be concerned about his new ally casually bringing up world domination, but he couldn't really bring himself to care. 

“You're serious? Ling's really okay?”

Greed rolled his eyes. “Yeah, he's fine. I keep saying I don’t lie, but no ever listens. Look, he agreed to let me have his body-which makes him my possession-and I take good care of my things. He's got nothing to complain about!” Greed paused, tilting his head slightly, then pinched the bridge of his nose. “Actually, he's great at finding things to complain about, but since I don't need to eat and I also can't control the amount of screaming from people who are grumpy they got turned into a rock, none of his complaints are my problem.”

Ed’s right knee went weak with relief. The left stayed strong, Winry's handy work as sturdy as ever, but he sat down heavily anyway, finally giving up his position standing over Greed.

He'd been trying not to think about it-and there'd been one crisis after the other to distract him-but it had been eating at Ed, not knowing if Ling was okay. And after sending his best friend and baby brother off with a literal serial killer and hoping for the best, the accumulated weight of uncertainty about the fates of his loved ones had been almost too much to bear. Now hearing that Ling hadn't been suffering horribly, that he wasn't in any danger (or at least not from the being controlling his body) had Ed feeling so much lighter he almost didn't know what to do with himself.

Maybe he was crazy for taking Greed's word for it, but he sounded so sincere. Really there was no reason for him to lie, it wasn't like Ed could do anything about it if he had been hurting Ling. If anything he'd probably want to gloat if he was anything like Envy (and it seemed like maybe he wasn’t). 

Looking back, Ling hadn't seemed that bad off at the cabin. Sure he'd collapsed, but he just kind of did that sometimes. He'd bounced right back after eating, just like he had back in Rush Valley, and Central, and Gluttony's stomach. Greed kept complaining about Ling being annoying, but now that Ed was a few more steps away from panic he realized there had been a hint of fondness in his voice as he did so. And, well. Ed could understand finding Ling extremely irritating in an endearing sort of way.

“What’s your guys’ deal anyway?” Greed interrupted Ed's thoughts.

“Our–What?”

Greed waved a hand impatiently. “You know, you’re obsessed with each other. First Ling was all ‘Stop fighting Ed, you might hurt him. No I can’t tell you where Lan Fan is, you have to find Ed and give him the message. I wonder where Ed is. I hope Ed’s okay. Hey, we should totally join Ed’s stupid little group and wander through the woods together!’ And now you won’t stop creepy staring at my face and you’re having some kinda breakdown over the idea that he might possibly be unhappy. It’s weird.”

“Ling didn’t tell you?” Ed tried not to let himself feel too hurt by that. There could be lots of reasons for Ling to keep their relationship to himself. Even if he was apparently talking to Greed all the time, there must be a good reason he never brought up Ed in the months they'd been apart.

“No! He won’t shut up about anything else. Yapping on and on about Xing, and his clan, and Lan Fan and Fu, and he mentions you constantly, but every time I ask about you he says it’s none of my business. Can you believe that? He’s my possession, his business is my business! Not to mention he’s thinking about it inside my brain, which makes it double my business.”

That made a certain kind of sense. It was probably hard having any privacy while sharing your body with another person, so of course Ling might want to keep something to himself. And, Ed remembered, Greed's stupid speech about wanting everything rather pointedly included women. He maybe wouldn't appreciate the fact that his new body’s owner was dating a man when he himself was aggressively straight.

“If Ling says it's none of your business then it's none of your business.” Even if Ed didn't love being kept a secret, he wouldn't betray Ling by giving out information he wanted to keep private.

“Ugh, come on!” Greed whined, flopping back dramatically to lay on the ground. “I'm the one in charge here and still no one tells me anything. You even looked all sad about me not knowing, and yet you're not gonna–”

Greed cut himself off mid sentence and sat back up to look at Ed.

“Your boyfriend?” 

Somehow Ed got the idea the question wasn't for him even though Greed was staring right at him.

A grin grew slowly across Greed's face.

“Our boyfriend.”

The hell did that mean?!

SMACK

Before Ed could react, almost faster than his eyes could follow, Greed raised his right hand and slapped himself across the face.

“Ow! What the hell, Ling?” Greed pushed his right hand down by the wrist before reaching up with his left to rub his cheek. “That fucking hurt, you asshole! Why–you know I can't understand the Xingese when you talk that fast. Stop yelling at me!”

“What did you mean by–”

“Give us a minute,” Greed said, holding up a finger in Ed's direction.

“No I will not give you a minute!” Ed yelled. “You can't just say some crap like that then ignore me! Explain what you're talking about right now or I swear I'm gonna…”

Greed was no longer looking at Ed. He was staring off into the distance, eyes unfocused. If Ed had to guess, he'd say the homunculus was so tuned in to whatever argument he was having with Ling he wasn't even hearing Ed anymore. No amount of yelling would help with that, and despite popular belief to the contrary, Ed could recognize a losing battle when he saw one. He just usually chose to fight them anyway.

Ed picked up a twig from the ground and threw it at Greed's face. It bounced off his nose and he blinked, eyes focusing back on Ed with a startled look.

“If you're going to talk about me in front of me, at least have your half of the conversation out loud, would you?”

Greed nodded. “Yeah that's fair.” He shifted his gaze slightly, looking near but not directly at Ed as he continued. “I don't see what the problem is. He's your boyfriend, and you're mine, so it makes sense–yes that is how it works, it's science.”

Ed already wasn't crazy about how this conversation was going. “When you say he's yours–”

“What do you mean we're not dating?” Greed sounded genuinely confused now. “You agreed to share your body with me, and you asked me to rule a country with you! How is that not–Oh, so you can have fifty wives, but two boyfriends is too–”

“He's not gonna have fifty wives,” Ed interrupted. “He's getting rid of–”

“Yeah yeah, we're doing away with that custom, I know.” Greed waved a hand in Ed's direction as he spoke, still looking at nothing as he had been for his whole conversation with Ling, as if responding to both of them at the same time.

“Why are you getting so worked up over this anyway?” Ed asked. “Aren't you straight?”

Greed's eyes snapped to Ed's face, expression scandalized. “Aren't I what?” he gasped, as if this was the most offensive thing anyone had ever said to him.

“Straight?” Ed didn't see what the big deal was, it had seemed like a fair assumption. “You had a whole speech about wanting women or whatever.”

“I'm Greed.” He spoke slowly, as if explaining something obvious that he'd been forced to go over many times. “I want everything. Gender isn't even a factor for me. Honestly I don't get why humans are so obsessed with it. People would get weird sometimes if I mentioned wanting men too, so I stopped saying that part to avoid the hassle. Still, I can't believe I’ve been giving off straight vibes.” He looked down and tugged at his coat. “Maybe it's the outfit? I told his highness he should have let me pick out better clothes. There was this great vest and also these awesome sunglasses I wanted to get, but he wouldn't go for it. Kept bitching about how awful they were until I chose something more simple.”

“Oh yeah, you had something like that the first time I met you. That was such a cool look!” Ed had pretty much hated Greed's guts back in Dublith, but he couldn't deny the man had style.

“Thank you!” Greed threw up his hands. “Ya hear that, Ling? He thinks it's cool too…Hey, don't call me and our boyfriend tacky in the same way, asshole! Huh? Oh, good point.”

Greed turned back to Ed, leaning forward and fixing him with a serious look. “Hey, do you want to date me too, instead of just Ling?”

“Uh…” Ed hesitated, debating for a moment whether the personification of greed would respond well to being denied something he wanted. Then again, Ling wouldn't have had him ask Ed if he thought the reaction would be dangerous. And he had asked, rather than just demanding. “No, not really. I don't even know you.”

Greed sat back with a shrug. “Oh, okay. Was worth a shot.”

“Really? You're cool with me just dating Ling?” Ed had been expecting at least a bit of an argument.

“Well, yeah.” Greed said. “People have to want to be mine, or else what's the point? Kind of sucks that Ling will have something I don't, but that's just the way it'll have to be. You're still my henchman after all, so it's not like you don't belong to me anyway. Besides,” Greed smiled at Ed, “there's plenty of time between now and the promised day for you to get to know me.”

An hour ago Ed would have taken that statement as mocking at best, and maybe as a downright threat. But now that he knew that Ling was not only okay but on good terms with the deadly sin inhabiting his body, and after having what was by his standards a perfectly friendly conversation with the guy, Ed was willing to see it a bit more charitably. Greed's smile was genuine, nothing taunting or creepy in the expression at all. In fact, if there was any similarity between how Ling and Greed showed their emotions, he might be trying to hide a bit of nervousness.

Ed smiled back at Greed. “Yeah, I guess maybe there is,” he said, then laughed when Greed's mouth dropped open in shock. “It’s getting late. I'm gonna get some sleep. Goodnight Greed and goodnight Ling.”

The last thing Ed heard before sleep claimed him was Greed talking quietly as he threw more wood onto the campfire.

Ed got up to find a soft patch of ground to sleep on, only half listening to Greed stumble over his words as he wished him a goodnight from himself and Ling. Ed felt himself drifting off as soon as he laid down, more tired than he'd realized.

“Wow, I didn't think I'd get that far. I'm totally going to show him I'd be the best boyfriend ev–Ling, do not slap me again, you pissant, I swear to god!”

[honeyconez]

guys hear me out would painis cupcake pay taxes? Because he’s not like mega insane like ass pancakes I think he’d pay his taxes in my professional opinion.