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leahwllmsn · 6 months ago

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good graces

alexia putellas x reader

word count: 3.4k

You dislike Alexia Putellas with everything in you. Or maybe you’ve been crushing on her all this time. Who knows.

The first thing you noticed upon entering the club was the sea of people that made it hard for you to even get to the booth. The music was blaring in your ears and the smell of smoke wafted towards your nose. A strobe light shone against your eyes, making you squint and stop in your tracks. Kika was walking ahead of you and you quickly grabbed onto her hand, forcing her to stop as well.

“What’s wrong?” Kika spoke towards your ear.

You shook your head, pinching the bridge of your nose. “I’m fine. Got disoriented for a second.”

“Okay.” Kika turned around, still keeping her hand linked with yours. You let yourself get dragged, Kika manoeuvring the both of you easily around the crowd.

It felt like forever until you finally reached the booth where the rest of the Barcelona players were occupying. Everyone was exchanging their ‘hi’s and ‘nice to meet you’s and you couldn’t focus on any of that. Not when you could feel her gaze on you.

The season was starting next week and since you and a couple of girls were new to the club, Patri decided to host a night out to introduce the newcomers. You knew a couple of the Spanish girls, having met them during international matches and exchanged contacts throughout your years in professional football.

There was one person, however, that… you didn’t really know how to explain it. Was she your enemy? Frenemy? You didn’t exactly hate her… But you didn’t exactly like her either. You’re pretty sure the feeling was mutual.

But it wasn’t that negative, soul-sucking, I-hope-she-dies type of hatred—at least, to you it wasn’t. It was more of… you couldn’t stand the stupid smirk on her face, it was infuriating, and even more so when she pushed you to the ground during matches or worse—when she completely humiliated you by nutmegging you and scoring a goal.

The smirk she sent your way after that was… maddening. You wanted to punch her, or something. You didn’t though. Instead you scowled at her throughout the rest of the game and you ignored her when everyone was shaking hands.

So you never really know where you stood with Alexia Putellas. The only words exchanged between you two were the heated curses on the pitch. Now that you two were going to be teammates, it was going to change the dynamics between you, definitely. You didn’t know in what way though.

You were never able to pinpoint why you disliked her so much, maybe it was because of the way she walked around the pitch like she owned the game before it even started. Like she was so confident that she would be winning—which was sexy as hell, yes, but it angered you. Because you were going to win, obviously.

So maybe it was a good thing that you would be on the same team now. Maybe you could finally co-exist.

The situation had been on your mind ever since you signed for Barcelona. The uncertainty of it all was throwing you off. So you made a mental note to avoid her until you could figure it out.

Whatever ‘it’ was.

Your mantra before entering the club was to look away, to not spare her a glance. Not under any circumstances should you look her way. Period.

It should be simple. It was simple.

All thoughts completely flew out the window the moment you arrived at the booth and you could feel Alexia’s eyes on you.

Ever since the first time you shook hands with her on the field (you were fifteen and she was sixteen), you had always known when her eyes were on you. Call it intuition or sixth sense or whatever.

So you had no choice but to look at her.

(She looked as good as you remembered.)

Your eyes locked for a second before Alexia broke away first, her eyes falling down to your left hand—your hand that was tightly intertwined with Kika’s. You saw the frown she sent your way and you sent her one back. Was it so hard to smile at someone?

You felt a tug at your hand and realised that Kika was motioning for you to take a seat. You glanced up once more at Alexia, but her gaze was now focused on the drink in front of her.

You slid into the booth next to Kika and accepted the drink that Pina held out to you, muttering a ‘thanks’. Once you did, you felt the pair of hazel eyes from across the table back on you.

Your eye contact lasted longer this time, you didn’t know why Alexia was looking at you like that. It was a gaze that felt so intense, making you instantly chug your drink.

“Whoa,” you heard someone say, a giggle following after. “No rush, chica. We have all night.”

“Patri, nice to see you again,” you shouted over the music.

“You too!” She lifted a bottle of vodka, silently asking you if you wanted some, to which you nodded in reply. Patri took your now empty glass and poured some into it. “We’re out of shot glasses, sorry! This one over here,” she pointed a thumb at Alexia. “Accidentally elbowed them to the ground and now we only get plastic cups!”

You couldn’t help it and joined in on the laughter. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Alexia’s head snap towards you. You gulped the drink Patri gave you and continued on with your staring contest with the captain. You raised an eyebrow at her, she simply threw that signature smirk of hers your way.

Infuriating.

“Can they actually do that?” asked Jana.

“Apparently!” Patri answered back.

Mapi placed her arm around Alexia’s shoulder, “You have to excuse this one. She had some pre-drinks at her place so she’s already well on her way to being extra drunk.” After a moment, she added. “Although, she became extremely calm these past few minutes. Are you okay?” Mapi teased.

Alexia playfully shoved her away. “It’s not my fault they didn’t know the risks when they decided to open a club.”

You felt Kika bump her shoulder against yours. “I can see why you’re so hung up on her, to be honest.”

At that, you pulled back. You gave Kika a look that was a mixture of ‘what the hell are you talking about’ and ‘I think I’m not drunk enough for this conversation’.

Kika rolled her eyes and leaned closer, speaking directly in your ears. “She’s ridiculously attractive.”

You placed your hand on Kika’s face, shoving her away. You could feel Kika’s laughter against your palm and you pulled your hand back.

“Y/n—” Kika started, but you interrupted her.

“Nope,” you took another gulp of your drink. “Talk to me again about this topic when I’m drunk. Actually, no. Don’t talk to me about this topic at all because there is nothing to talk about in the first place!”

Kika shook her head fondly and wrapped her arm around your neck, bringing your head towards her so she could whisper in your ear. “I think you should drink faster then, because your girl looks like she’s going to kill me and we need to do something about it.”

You pinched her thigh. “She’s not my girl.”

“Ouch! That was the part you got? Not her wanting to kill me?”

“Stop being ridiculous then. Why would she want to kill you?”

Kika grinned. “Probably because to everyone else it looks like we’re about to kiss.”

Your eyes widened at your proximity and quickly shoved the brunette, causing her to lean backwards into Jana, who looked amused at the two of you.

“Sorry,” Kika whined. “Y/n’s fault!”

Just when you were about to say something back, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket. A text message from an unknown number.

Hola

It’s Alexia.

You glanced up at her, giving her a confused look. Alexia just gave a slight nod of her head, flicking her eyes to your phone. You sighed. This was going to be fun.

you: how did you get my number?

unknown number: Perks of being the capitana.

you: why are you even texting me? you’re literally in front of me

unknown number: Oh am I? Thank you for pointing that out.

you: you’re as annoying as I remembered

you: so ? is there a reason why you’re texting me

annoying capi: Because you are too far away. It’s so loud here. I haven’t gotten the chance to talk to you.

annoying capi: I have captain duties

you: to talk to me?

annoying capi: Yes

You almost rolled your eyes at that. What kind of captain duties was this? Pere would likely introduce Alexia as your captain on your first day. There was nothing urgent that any captain-teammate talk had to be done now.

You just hoped that she wasn’t planning on kicking you out of the club, or any other evil things you couldn’t think of. You stared at her, somewhere between a glare and an interested look. Only one way to find out.

you: I’m about to grab a drink at the bar

annoying capi: Is this an invitation?

you: am I going by myself or are you coming with?

“Y/n and I are grabbing more drinks,” Alexia announced. “Does anyone want anything?”

Everyone shook their heads and with that Alexia slid out of the booth. She outstretched her hand towards you and you stared down at it. There was no way that Alexia was asking you to hold her hand, because that would be ridiculous, and frankly, you weren’t sure if you were ready to know what it feels like to hold Alexia’s hand—

“Dios mío,” Alexia reached out and grabbed your wrist. You didn’t have time to react and the next thing you knew, you were being pulled to the bar.

Alexia’s grasp on your wrist was tight, you felt all tingly as more seconds passed by and Alexia’s grip never faltered.

You inwardly cringe at yourself for feeling like that towards a… a frenemy (you still didn’t know what you two were).

When you reached the bar, Alexia finally let go and you kind of missed the warm feeling Alexia’s hold gave you.

“What’s your drink?” Alexia asked.

“Uhm…”

The place was crowded, which was definitely good for the business, but you decided that it was very not good for you. Because with the way Alexia was leaning sideways against the counter, arms crossed, eyebrows raised at you—Alexia was so close that you couldn’t think of anything, except the way her eyes looked even more heavenly at night (not that you noticed. You were too busy marking her during games, you definitely had no time to admire the way the sunlight made her eyes shine even brighter).

“Do you do that a lot?” Alexia asked once she finished talking to the bartender.

When you still hadn’t answered, Alexia pursed her lips and blew on your face. “Boo.”

Your eyes widened. “W-what was that for?”

“You’re zoning out again,” Alexia rolled her eyes at you.

“No I wasn’t,” you tried your best to sound calm despite your racing heartbeat.

Alexia smelled like alcohol and a perfume that you knew was from Chanel (you had the same one at home) and you knew you weren’t supposed to let your mind wander, but you couldn’t help but think about how it would feel like to have Alexia pressed up against you. Like, really pressed up against you.

How her lips would feel on—

“You’re doing it again,” Alexia noted.

You blinked a few times. What the hell were you thinking? You couldn’t think of Alexia like that. The thought made you shiver. You two disliked each other. “I’m doing what?”

“Spacing out,” Alexia looked amused. “Something on your mind?”

“Just the usual,” you replied, looking anywhere but those eyes.

“And what is the usual to you?”

You let out a small laugh. “Are you always this nosy? I don’t see you texting Kika or Pajor and asking for a one-on-one.”

Alexia shrugged. “Maybe I’m just interested in you.”

At that, you looked at Alexia and raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“I don’t know, I just am. I can’t pinpoint it.”

You narrowed your eyes. Was she flirting with you? “Is this you talking to me as my captain or is this something else?” Alexia was about to reply when you cut her off. “Is this where you say something nice about me but then talk shit a second later?” you paused. “Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

Maybe that was the wrong thing to say because the next thing you knew, Alexia was laughing. It was the first time you’ve heard her laugh. You didn’t want to think about the tug in your heart or the smile making its way to your lips. “What does that have to do with anything?” Alexia asked you.

You crossed your arms against your chest. “It sounded like you were flirting with me.”

“I could mean being interested in you in a non-romantic sense,” Alexia refuted. “I am going to be your capitana after all.”

“Mhmm, sure,” you looked around the bar. “I think you’re lying.”

Alexia looked amused. “Why do you think that?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know, I just do. I can’t pinpoint it.”

“Using my words against me, I see.”

You cheekily smiled at her and she did the same. Alexia actually smiled at you. It was a miracle. First you made her laugh, then you made her smile. You were on a roll.

Not that it mattered. You couldn’t care less, really.

Suddenly remembering that you didn’t tell her what drink you wanted, you looked at the bartender then back at her, “Did you order for me? Hope it’s nothing poisonous. We’re about to play on the same team, you can stop trying to kill me on the field now.”

Alexia scoffed. “I never acted like I wanted to kill you.”

“I beg to differ but sure,” you couldn’t believe that you were enjoying a conversation with Alexia Putellas. “I never told you my drink order, so if you got me something I don’t like, you’re paying for it.”

Alexia scrunched her nose at you. “I thought I was paying for it. I am a gentlewoman after all.”

You hummed. “Does this work on all women?”

“It’s Sex on the Beach, by the way,” Alexia ignored your question. “What I ordered for you.”

You raised an eyebrow at that. Oh this can definitely be considered flirting. “Why Sex on the Beach?”

Alexia just shrugged in response.

“That’s my favourite,” you told her. “Just for your information.”

“Really?” Alexia grinned at you. (What a sight it was.) “I am so good at this.”

“Sure. You probably chose that drink so you could flirt with me.”

“Is that a problem?”

You looked at her questioningly. “That you got my favourite cocktail right on the first try?”

Alexia laughed again, but this time there wasn’t the usual teasing tone when she spoke. “You’re so dense sometimes.”

“Thanks,” you drew out. “I guess.”

“What I meant was… is that a problem if I was flirting with you?”

You weren't expecting that answer. This was definitely not the captain-teammate talk you were expecting, nor was this the type of conversation you were expecting from your frenemy. “Uh,” you stammered. “With the fact that you have a girlfriend, yeah kind of.”

Alexia stared at you for a second, before she looked away. When she turned to you again, a coy smile was present on her lips. “You’re right. That was terrible. Sorry, please don’t tell my non-existent girlfriend about this.”

Oh? You tried to hide the smile that was making its way to your face. “Don’t worry. I don’t know your non-existent girlfriend enough to snitch on you.”

The bartender interrupted you with your drinks and you gulped half of yours in one go. You needed to be more intoxicated with the way this conversation was going.

“I probably sound like a terrible girlfriend,” Alexia said, placing her card back in her wallet after paying for your drinks.

“Hm? How so?”

“I’m literally flirting with another woman here, even though my girlfriend, our three kids, and two dogs are waiting for me at our mansion,” Alexia rolled out dramatically, you laughed at how ridiculous she was.

“So you were flirting with me.”

Alexia rolled her eyes, looking down. She looked… shy? This was new. You were enjoying this very much. “I never said such a thing.”

“What?” You looked at her in disbelief. “Alexia, you just said ‘I’m literally flirting with another woman’.”

Alexia shrugged, taking a gulp of her drink. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.”

You had to keep on reminding yourself that Alexia was your frenemy. You two disliked each other. Whatever this was… it was a momentary lapse in judgement. A drunk night out. You weren’t into Alexia like that and she was definitely, totally just playing with you. But looking at the blonde in front of you—how Alexia was doing something as simple as swirling her straw in her drink—you never wanted to do something stupid as much as right now.

“You know,” you started. “If you didn’t have a girlfriend, I would totally kiss you.”

You were only toying with her of course. You didn’t actually want to kiss her.

Alexia choked on her drink. “I’m sorry, what?” she looked at you wide-eyed.

You smirked, it was a nice turn of events, having Alexia be the one stuttering instead of you. “You heard me.”

“Well,” you saw Alexia gulp and place her drink on the bar. “I guess you’re in luck then.” Alexia averted her eyes down to your lips. “My non-existent girlfriend just broke up with me,” she pouted dramatically. Damn it. You were trying so hard not to look at her lips. “You, on the other hand, is a terrible date.”

You looked confused. “Me?”

Alexia nodded. “Flirting with me when your date is right there,” she tilted her head in the direction of where your friends were sitting. “Kika?”

You laughed at that. Was Alexia actually jealous? “Am I sensing some jealousy here, Putellas?”

“Why would I be?” Alexia scoffed, the faint blush on her cheeks visible despite the dark lighting of the club. Oh this was so much fun.

“Is that why you’re always so hostile towards me on the pitch, Capi? Do you actually have a crush on me? Asking me out would work just fine, you know.”

“I’m not…” Alexia crossed her arms. “I’m not jealous and I definitely do not have a crush on you. Ridícula.”

You could feel the effects of the alcohol, because you could never be this bold otherwise. You stepped forward, tracing a finger down Alexia’s forearm.

“Uh,” Alexia stammered.

“It’s so funny,” you whispered in her ear. “To have the mighty Alexia Putellas speechless for once.”

You tapped Alexia’s cheek and leaned back.

Alexia just kept on staring at you for a few seconds, her mouth stuttering to say something.

“I’m going to order another drink,” you said, gulping down the last of your cocktail. “Do you want something?”

Alexia finally regained her composure and straightened her back. “Yeah, yeah. Sure.”

You waved the bartender over and told him your order. You turned to Alexia with an expectant look. “Well? What do you want?”

“Ah. Are you on the menu?” Alexia answered, giving you her best innocent look.

It took a second for you to realise what Alexia said, and when you did, your mouth dropped open.

Before you could reply, Alexia leaned in and whispered in your ear. “I always win these games, cariño,” the hot breath against your ear causing you to shiver. “See you back there.” Alexia winked and turned around, leaving you to stare at her retreating figure with your mouth still agape and your heart thumping wildly against your chest.

You hated her so much.

#woso x reader #woso community #alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #woso fanfics #woso #alexia putellas imagine

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totothewolff · 1 year ago

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📁 MASTERLIST / MY WORKS 👤 Other profiles: AO3 | Discord | Wattpad

└ 📁[📚Multi-chapters][⏳Long read]

Season of Love

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨Toto x reader(fem team principal)][💘Romance][🥵Smut][😂Comedy][😪Drama][🏎F1 World/Races/Teams/Paddock][✍️WIP][⏳Long read]

Summary: One night on a pier in Monaco, while admiring the sea under the night skies, you tell Toto: "I came to the conclusion that love is simply not meant for me." That's the answer to a question you have been asking yourself for the longest time. But what if he proved you wrong? Author's note: This is a multichapter Toto Wolff x team principal reader fic set along a season of F1. It's a very immersive story full of drivers, team dynamics, races, mystery, and smut. You just bought the Williams team, but nobody really knows who you truly are. 📁 Masterlist: └📁 Dances with Wolff Arc I └📁 1 Engines on and hearts off └📁 2 Lights out, and away your feelings go └📁 3 Can you feel the traction? └📁 4 No brakes, just love └📁 5 Cold tires, warm heart └📁 6 Collision at Turn "Your Heart" └📁 The Color of Truth is Blue Arc └📁 7 Red flagsss └📁 8 Safety car needed └📁 The Sebaffäre Arc └📁 9 Laps of Truth └📁 10 Finding Our Grip └📁 11 Crashed Dreams └📁 Love Lies, Miss Normani Arc └📁 └📁 Dances with Wolff Arc II └📁 12 Refueling Love └📁 13 Uniting for the Win └📁 14 Sprint Finish └📁 15 Victory Lap

Chemtrails Over the Yacht Club Collection

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto x reader(fem service staff)][💘 Romance][🥵Smut][🎀 Age-gap][❤️‍🔥Daddy Kink][🛳Yacht Culture][✍️WIP][⏳Long read]

Summary: Toto Wolff is a name often mentioned at the Yacht Club, where you work after classes. For some reason, you have always pictured him as an old crank like the usual members, not this foxy man who arrives at the reception making your knees quiver. The entire staff goes frenetic as he, one of the Club's most important clients, chooses to spend his spring break there without previous notice. You pray to the Gods that you don't cross lines with him since your entire livehood depends on this job, and you really want to graduate college. 📁 Collection: └📁 1 Dark But Just A Game └📁 2 Breaking Up Slowly └📁 3 Not All Who Wander Are Lost └📁 4 Dance Till We Die └📁 5 White Dress └📁 6 Let Me Love You Like a Woman

Grand Prix Elite Academy

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto(professor) x reader(student, future F1 driver)][👨‍❤️‍👨Lewis x Seb][💘Romance][🥵Smut][🎀Age-gap][❤️‍🔥Wild parties][🏫College AU][🌈Queer/Fem Seb][✍️WIP][⏳Long read]

Summary: Your life turns 180 degrees after receiving your acceptance letter for the Grand Prix Elite Academy, the most exclusive and prestigious Formula One College, designed to shape the future drivers of the motorsport world. You will try to navigate your new life among the Monaco elites, survive the campus dynamics and rivalries between the faculties, and try to win this year's Elite Cup to beat an undefeated Mercedes, all while befriending your eclectic classmates, join the wild parties, have a couple of make-outs under the racing circuit benches, lose your v-card and get over that stupid crush you have on professor Toto. Will you make it alive to graduation? Race to Greatness! Author's note: This is a Formula One college AU fic set in an elite academy in Monaco, where the F1 Teams are Faculties, their Team Principals are professors, the FIA is the college board, and all the grid drivers are your classmates. You are accepted under a scholarship program called WomenOne and have lots to catch on to after years of putting your racing dreams on hold. Becoming the outcast new girl is always challenging, especially when all of you live on one campus. 📁 Masterlist: └📁 1 Hi, Society! └📁 2 Gone With The Wolff └📁 3 Know Your Frenemies └📁 4 The Kids Are Not Alright └📁 5 The Twat and the Furious └📁 6 Panic Roomate └📁 7 Easy Y/N └📁 8 War of the Rosbergs └📁 9 …Baby? One More Time! └📁 10 She Wolff

[📚One-shots]

I'll Be Home for Christmas

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto x reader][🥵Smut][❤️‍🔥Mild BDSM][👄Dom/Sub][🎄Christmas][💫Short read]

Summary: Toto asks you in between ravenous kisses if you truly want him, even with his busy schedule, fast-paced life, countless nights miles away, and his dominant trait, the one you love to be submissive to, by saying yes you didn't expect it to be this hard! This particular season felt eternal, and you only desire to have him back, wrapped as the world's most alluring Christmas gift on your bed if possible. └📁 One-shot

Sparks Fly

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto x reader][🥵Smut][❤️‍🔥Daddy Kink][🎆New Years][💫Short read]

Summary: Toto is ready to leave his shitty 2023 behind and start 2024 in the best way possible, and you don't want to spend another New Year's Eve all by yourself; it's like destiny and the universe conspired to bring you two together. └📁 One-shot

The Lonely Hearts Party

[👩‍❤️‍👨Toto(boss) x reader(fem merc employee)][💘Romance][😊Fluff] [😂Comedy][🗄Corporate Mercedes][💝Valentine's Day][⏳Long read]

Summary: For weeks now, you have been receiving the most gorgeous flowers every Wednesday morning at your desk at the Brackley Headquarters, as a mysterious admirer seems so in love with you. The entire factory, your besties at work, and you all wonder who he is. Could it be the one you truly wish for? └📁 One-shot

The Big Slip

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨Toto x reader (fem middle class artist)][💘Romance][🥵Smut][😪Drama][🕵️‍♂️Secret Identity][💸Social gap][🪐AU][⏳Long read]

Summary: Your life as a struggling arts graduate in Monaco, coming from a working-class family who lives on the outskirts, is about to change. Toto Wolff enters your life not only by giving you the best sex ever but also by making you love somebody for the first time. Arranged marriages, a horrible breakup, and an induced coma, plus his terrible parents, were a complete surprise. └📁 One-shot

The Speed Game of Love

[👩‍❤️‍👨Toto x reader(fem contestant)][💘Romance][😂Comedy][🪐AU][🤪Crack humor][🌈RuPaul's Drag Race][💫Short read]

Summary: Three fierce queens will race for your love, but only one will win your heart. Could it be the spicy Carla LaTurbo Slayz, the fierce Adore D. Hammer, or the queen of England herself, GiGi Reigns? Or maybe that sexy host could get some! Hosted by the hot and only Toto Wolff. └📁 One-shot

Daddy's Little Pet

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto x reader(journalist)][🥵Smut][❤️‍🔥Daddy Kink][🎀Size Kink][👄Power play][💫Short read]

Summary: You had come to Brackley expecting a generic interview, not a deep dive into Toto's lovemaking life. └📁 One-shot

[🚎Coming soon...][✍️WIPs]

Join us at The Wolff Pack Discord Server > https://discord.com/invite/tpgArxqbfd

It’s Murder on the Garagefloor

[👩‍❤️‍👨Toto (boss) x reader(fem Merc employee)][💘Romance][😂Comedy][🪐AU][🤪Crack humor][👻Mystery][⏳Long read][🧩Clue]

Summary: His wife, one of his drivers, an engineer, his mentor, and you (Toto's assistant) all look at the body on the floor. Is the boss really gone? Loose inside this locked garage is the murderer. Who of you killed Toto Wolff? And why?

A mile-an-hour

[👩‍❤️‍👨Toto (boss) x reader(fem Merc employee)][💘Romance][😂Comedy][🪐AU][🤪Crack humor][🗄The Office][⏳Long read]

Summary: Getting hired on the Mercedes-AMG PETRONAS F1 Team from the thousands of applicants seemed like the pinnacle of your career and a privilege. Such a prestigious and life-changing opportunity until you arrive there… Smoke is flooding the garage, Lewis is dressed exactly like George in casual clothing for some reason, and Niki is playing sad Taylor Swift songs on the piano. At the same time, engineers try to catch a loose Roscoe throwing stuff everywhere. Why is even a piano in here?! Ah! And you almost forgot, Toto Wolff is crying inside his office.

Fast Car

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto (young f1 driver) x reader(fem f1 driver)][🥵Smut][💔Past lovers][☔️Pinning][🏎Team dynamics][☠️Toxic love][👹Make up and angrey sex][👄Power play][⏳Long read]

There was a time when he used to be your everything. Since childhood, you two shared a dream of one day becoming F1 drivers. Miles away from your families, you grew up only having each other, racing and experiencing life side by side. The short step from friends to lovers left natural, but the following step from F1 drivers to enemies deeply scarred you. When your ambitious team offers Toto the open seat, well aware of his reckless and wild reputation, you wonder if the sweet guy you fell in love with is still hiding inside that ruthless, don juan, cold-hearted two-time world champion. It's going to be a hell of a season for you.

Cursed to Love

[🗯+18][👨‍❤️‍👨 Lewis (Witch) x Sebastian (Human)][💘Romance][🥵Smut][🧙Fantasy][🌠Epic][🔮Lore][🩸Horror/War/Violence][🛖Period Piece][😪Drama][☔️Pinning][📿Soul mates][🪐AU][🌈Queer][✍️WIP][⏳Long read]

Summary: Lewis' birth was prophetized by the whispers of the leaves, a long-awaited moment by his tribe, eager to welcome the future leader of their motherlands. Yet destiny had unforeseen plans for him. Hidden in the darkest of the forest amid the horrors of the night their tales will call "The Great Devastation", cursed since his first breath with a heart tethered to a human soulmate in a chain he won't be able to break, bond by blood and magic to a love so pure, it will leave his body to ache, a cruel enchantment that simply won't fade away.

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khywren · 2 years ago

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「 Garden of Eden : Chapter 1 」

summary: Astarion is absolutely drunk on her blood, the exquisiteness of feeding on her the closest thing he has ever had to a religious experience. It is, in no uncertain terms, the most divine thing he has ever tasted.

He knows he's using her. She should mean nothing to him – just one more in a sea of largely nameless, faceless sacrifices – and yet… she’s different, somehow. She’s the only one who’s cared, the only one who’s shown genuine interest in him beyond the pleasures his body can bring her.

And if she ever found out the truth, everything would come crashing down.

pairing: Astarion/f!Reader | Astarion/f!Tav rating: 18+ MDNI status: 6/10 tags/warnings: blood drinking, explicit sexual content, porn with plot, drunk sex, smut, toxic coping mechanisms, depictions of violence/abuse, hurt/comfort, mild angst, frenemies to lovers, word count: 2.6k spoiler warning: full story will contain spoilers for all 3 acts of the game.

a/n: chapters will be posted individually. crossposted from AO3. links to other chapters: [ 1 ] [ 2 ] [ 3 ] [ 4 ] [ 5 ] [ 6 ]

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The river runs cold against Tav's fingers as she glides them through the icy water, shivering. She's already stripped off her leather armor and rolled up her trousers and the sleeves of her tunic before wading out into the current to wash away the dirt and grime from another long day on the road. She hopes it won’t be much longer before they can have a proper bath.

Lae'zel is certain that the githyanki creche can't be all that far away, and her emphasis on getting there as swiftly as possible has made finding time to rest difficult. After the party was beset by a pack of gnolls several hours ago, the group was finally able to convince her – begrudgingly, of course – to make camp for the night before everyone exhausted themselves completely.

Scrubbing her body clean – or, clean as it can be – is a small luxury, and the water is cold enough to reinvigorate Tav's weary limbs. She crouches now to rinse her hair, carding her fingers through the tangles and letting the current wash away as much debris as it can.

Satisfied enough for the time being, Tav pads back to shore, though her thoughts are interrupted immediately by an almost imperceptible rustling in the dense brambles near the riverbank.

Cautiously, she snatches up the small dagger she keeps belted to her armor, peering into the darkness in silent anticipation.

Her shoulders slacken as she recognizes the lithe form that emerges rather unceremoniously from behind the brambles.

“Astarion? You're lucky I'm not Lae'zel,” Tav says curtly as she sheathes her dagger, yet she still regards Astarion warily, uncertain of his intentions. “She would have speared you on the spot for pulling that little stunt.”

Astarion huffs a laugh and shrugs in a manner that affirms Tav's suggestion. “Yes, our githyanki friend does seem the type to stab first and ask questions later, but it's fortunate for us both that you've a less... impulsive head on your shoulders.”

He says it as though he's fishing for something less cruel than blatantly calling her a fool for letting her guard down so easily, even this close to camp, but Tav ignores the backhanded remark all the same. She's only known Astarion for a few days, but the elf does come off as rather prickly, she thinks. He isn't overtly unkind, though neither is he as magnanimous as he might think himself to be.

Still, he's skilled with a blade and damn useful in a fight, so he's worth keeping around for the time being. The whole camp knows they need all the allies they can get to rid themselves of the tadpoles currently burrowing through their brains.

Tav wrings the last few drops of icy water from her hair and pats her hands dry on her trousers. She can feel Astarion watching her intently in her periphery, as though he has something to say, and she turns wordlessly towards him, imploring him to speak about whatever seems to be troubling him.

Astarion steps closer, his footfalls eerily silent as he moves towards her. For a moment the only thing that breaks the silence is the chirruping of crickets in the reeds along the riverbank, before finally he speaks.

“You're bleeding.”

Astarion's eyes flicker like rubies in the pale moonlight as his gaze settles on an open cut on Tav's face, lingering on a smear of dried blood on her cheek that she had neglected to tend to earlier. His expression feels to Tav like some unsettling weight that bears down on her, and she shifts uncomfortably on her feet, unsure what to do with this knowledge.

Unable to discern the meaning behind his words, she feels quite like a small animal cornered by a predator, tense and ready to strike. She tries to shove the thought away despite her staccato heartbeat. If Astarion really meant her harm, Tav reasons with herself, he could have slit her throat before she had even known that he was there.

And yet, there had been no trace of concern in Astarion's voice – he had merely been making an observation, as if confirming something for himself that Tav was not privy to.

Relax, she thinks, steadying her breathing. It must be the tadpole's doing, the unwelcome Illithid passenger that's causing her paranoia. After so much traveling and fighting, it's not so farfetched that her exhausted body is more susceptible to its influence than normal.

Yet when at last she finds her voice, her unease is regrettably apparent, the words shaky despite her attempts to calm her demeanor.

“Oh, this? It's nothing serious,” she affirms. “I'm sure Shadowheart can patch me up if I really need her to. It's not the first scuffle I've been in, and it won't be the last.”

A wan smile flits across her face as she tries to lighten the mood, yet Astarion remains impassive, unmoving. His chest rises and falls as he inhales a deep breath, almost as if he's scenting her.

It makes her uneasy.

Tav starts and sucks in a breath when Astarion suddenly steps closer and takes her face gently in the palm of his hand, swiping the pad of his thumb across the beads of blood welling from her injury. In the few seconds their skin comes into contact before Astarion withdraws his hand, Tav notes how cold his fingers felt as they ghosted over her cheekbones, trailing icy tendrils in their wake.

It is not unlike the chill of death, a preternatural cold that raises the hairs on the back of her neck. When Astarion presently brings his thumb to his lips and opens his mouth to lick hungrily at the blood gathered there, Tav swears that she catches a glimpse of fangs.

When Astarion practically shivers with pleasure at the taste of her blood, Tav's heart turns to ice in her chest as she begins to put the pieces together in her mind.

“An excellent idea,” Astarion says, his voice a low drawl. “You never know when some bloodthirsty predator is likely to come along and sink its teeth into you.” His grin is wolfish, and again Tav sees the sharp points of his teeth – his fangs – purposely bared.

There's no mistaking it now.

“That boar...” Tav says, the realization coming to her all at once, “the one we found the other day. That was your doing, wasn't it?”

She hesitates on the cusp of the truth she now grapples with. “You're a vampire.”

She's trembling now, despite herself. She's never been face to face with a vampire before; the thought that he had been keeping such a secret the entire time unbeknownst to any of them makes her blood run cold.

Astarion lets Tav process the information she's been given without interruption. He has no plans to harm her, but the intoxicating sight and taste of her blood has made him painfully aware of the dark, gnawing hunger that compels him to sink his teeth into her neck and drink his fill of her all the same.

“I'm afraid so, my dear,” Astarion says simply. The familiar playful lilt is in his voice again, his expression softening somewhat as Astarion tries to reign in his hunger. There are plenty of boars and other woodland creatures for him to feast on, but he knows without acknowledging the thought that even that single drop of Tav's blood has all but ruined him.

It is, in no uncertain terms, the most divine thing he has ever tasted. No wonder Cazador forbade him from feeding on so-called thinking creatures.

“I was hoping you would have put two and two together sooner, of course,” Astarion says presently with a sigh, shrugging nonchalantly. “But I suppose there have been far more pressing matters on your mind lately. I would rather you have found out under more auspicious circumstances, but that can't be helped now.”

Tav swallows thickly and backs away from him, contemplating her odds of running or fighting. Neither option seems favorable.

“So that's what this is?” she asks accusatorily, her brows knit. “You're here to drain me dry and dump my corpse somewhere in the woods?” She finds herself growing angry now; how could she have been so complacent, so stupid not to notice what he was? “The others will –”

Astarion cuts her off with a harsh bark of laughter.

“You think me some mindless killer?” he asks, his expression petulant. “You wound me, Tav.”

He looks genuinely upset by her remark, the unspoken assertion that he is, in fact, nothing more than a monster.

“I didn't seek you out – not intentionally, of course,” he carries on, “but... perhaps this could be an opportunity for us both.”

Tav can see the growing desperation in Astarion's eyes, his carefully crafted mask slipping only momentarily before he rids himself of such useless vulnerability.

“What do you mean?” she asks carefully, narrowing her eyes. She isn't following his train of thought.

Astarion explains it plainly for her. “You give me more of that delicious blood of yours, and in return you gain a far more powerful ally for whatever battles we may face. It's a mutually beneficial exchange.”

Tav isn't sure if he's bluffing or not – he's always so inscrutable, a most unfortunate circumstance at the best of times, let alone now when she could very well be in great peril.

“And what choice do I have?” she finally asks, brow arched. “I'm not really in a position to say no, am I?”

She crosses her arms and stares at him, all feigned bravado as her mind races. She briefly considers trying to force her way into Astarion's mind to pry the truth from him, but the consequences of failure seem far too alarming. The intrusion of one's private thoughts is never comfortable, and she can’t be certain that it won’t go unnoticed. She wants to trust him – after all, he has had ample opportunities to feed on any of them by now and hasn't – but the idea still feels so illogical.

“Don't be foolish,” Astarion quips back, heaving an exasperated sigh. “I know you have no reason to believe me, but the choice is ultimately yours. Simply say the word and I will find something else to dine on. However, your blood will sustain me far better than any common beast, I can promise you that.”

It's the closest Astarion will allow himself to come to begging, despite the fact that every fiber of his being cries out for more than just a taste of the blood surging through her veins. It’s all he can do not to lick his lips at the thought of it.

But he's far too proud to stoop so low.

Tav turns the thought over in her mind, considering. What good is a reward without a little risk?

Astarion waits for her reply with bated breath.

“Do I have your word that you won't hurt me?” Tav asks, her voice flat. If she's going to do this, she wants his assurance that it won't be the last mistake she ever makes. He could, of course, promise her anything if it would make her yield to him before doing as he pleased, but something tells her that he wouldn't betray her like that.

Astarion's eyes widen as her words sink in; she hasn't exactly accepted his proposal with welcome arms, but she hasn't turned her away either.

“Of course, darling,” he assures her. “When you tell me to stop, I shall indulge not a single drop further.”

“…Okay,” Tav says, chewing nervously on her lip. “How do we...”

Astarion's tone is serious once again. “I suggest you lie down,” he says, indicating to a particularly soft looking patch of grass nearby. “It will make this more comfortable for the both of us.”

Tav does as Astarion bids her, tugging the collar of her tunic down just far enough to fully expose the column of her throat before settling herself in the grass, the blades whispering under her weight as she tries to make herself comfortable.

Astarion wastes no time, straddling her hips and bracketing her thighs with his knees, pinning her in place to stop her inevitable squirming.

“You're sure this is what you want?”

Tav looks up at him, dazzled by the way his pale skin glimmers like polished marble in the moonlight, her breath catching as she nods quietly. She hadn't noticed before, but he really is quite handsome.

Her cheeks burn with a sudden rush of embarrassment, her earlier fears all but forgotten.

“Yes,” she murmurs, “just... do it before I change my mind.”

A laugh rumbles low in Astarion's throat as he hovers over her, drinking in the sight of her beneath him. He can hear the erratic beating of her heart, the closeness and the intimacy of what they are about to do affecting her more powerfully than either of them had expected.

Presently Astarion presses his face against the warm column of Tav's throat, inhaling the scent of her blood as his lips part, trailing featherlight kisses over her skin as he searches for her veins.

When he finally finds what he's looking for, Astarion hesitates only momentarily before sinking his fangs into Tav's neck, eliciting a sharp cry that tears itself from her mouth. She gasps and writhes beneath him as he latches onto her, drinking draught after draught of her warm, pulsing blood as it floods into his mouth.

He all but moans against her neck, the taste of her blood an aphrodisiac for all his senses.

The pain of Astarion's bite gradually fades, the heat of her skin ebbing to an icy numbness that begins to spread through Tav's entire body. She finds herself relaxing into him now, her eyes growing heavy, as still he drinks, and drinks, and drinks.

“Astarion...” She mumbles his name softly, dimly aware that she is slowly losing control of herself. It would be so easy to just close her eyes now and fade into the eternal slumber that beckons her closer with each passing second...

Suddenly Tav's eyes fly open, and she struggles against Astarion's body, desperate to push him off. She worries that he's too far gone, too lost in the taste of her to be aware of anything but her blood.

“S–stop,” she says, more forcefully now “Stop, it's too much.”

Tav pushes at his chest, calling his name over and over again, her adrenaline surging. Finally, Astarion pulls away from her throat and sits upright, his mouth smeared with her blood. He tips his head back and stares at the moon as if in a stupor, his eyes half lidded – a perfect, picturesque creature of the night.

He is absolutely drunk on her blood, the exquisiteness of feeding on her the closest thing he has ever had to a religious experience. As he finally starts to come down from the high, he turns his eyes towards Tav, the guilt seizing him like a vice as he witnesses what he has done to her.

She lays almost motionless beneath him, her breath shallow, the pinpricks where his fangs once were leaking blood down the side of her neck in two thin red lines.

“Hells above, Tav,” he calls out to her, gathering her up in his arms and pulling her upright against his chest. Her eyelids flutter open, and she looks at him, her mouth forming words that she is too weak to give voice to.

Astarion curses under his breath before getting to his feet, Tav's half-limp body cradled in his arms.

“I'm sorry,” she says softly, her voice so faint that even Astarion has to strain himself to hear her. “I waited too long to stop you. It's not your fault.”

The last thing Tav notices before she blacks out is just how warm and alive her blood has made him.

#baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #astarion #astarion fanfic #astarion smut #astarion x female reader #astarion x reader #astarion x you #multichapter

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luversgirl · 2 years ago

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MY OBX REC LIST, part five

( ☾ = angst, ☆ = head-canon, ❀ = fluff, ✧ = smut )

rafe cameron

— five minutes ✧ ( i- )

— need you ☾ ❀

— promises ✧ ( omfg 💀 )

— dating rafe cameron should include ☆ ❀

— silent love ( literally such a amazing series )

— don’t make a sound ✧

— the pogue and the kook ☾ ❀

— best friends little sister ✧

— midsummer’s ❀ ( this is disgusting GIVE IT TO ME NOW )

— frenemies ☾ ✧

— new light blurb: next to you ❀ ( this is so cuteeeee )

— love is a dangerous game ☾ ✧ ( THE ANGST OMFG )

— forbidden ( series )

— good luck charm ❀ ( awwww )

— naughty ✧ ( i want y/n the fawk me wtf )

— hard to love you ☾

— limousine ✧ ( the driver 👁👄👁 )

— and yet…❀

— love at sea ☾ ❀

— can’t sleep ❀

— glory and gore ✧ ( poor jj lmaooooo )

— ambivalence blurb: phases ☾ ❀ ( give me this in life rn )

— unexpected valentine ❀ ( SO MF CUTE )

— night swim ✧

— protecter ☾ ❀ (top tier work, like literally weekly reread)

jj maybank

— i will leave ☾ ( THIS!!! part 2, part 3… etc )

— strawberry ❀ ( living for this )

— scary love ☾ ❀

— mine ❀

— promise ☾ ( oh my fawking god )

— take it slow ✧

— messed up ☾ ❀

— pretty girl ❀ ☾

— for me ❀ ☾ ( someone gimme a jj rn )

— princess ❀

— sweet and salty ✧

— jumped ❀ ☾

— wrestle ✧ ☾ ( oh my lordddddddd )

— nightmares ❀ ☾

— can’t kill a pogue ☾

— underdressed ✧

— i got you ☾

— meet me at our spot ❀ ☾ ( absolutely love this )

— enough for you ☾ ( sobbing )

sarah cameron

— exposed ✧

— lifeguard ☾ ❀ ( why not meeeeeee )

— call rafe ❀

— watermelon sugar ✧ ❀

— welcome home ❀

— kook princess ✧ ( lawd, part two, LAWD )

— the little things ❀

— don’t make me over ❀

pope heyward

— rose water and bubbles ✧

— this ❀ ( idk the name but i LUV IT )

— charm bracelets ❀

— full kook ☾ ❀

— noisy neighbours ❀ ( GIVE ME THIS IN LIFE RN )

— stick shift ❀

— tutor ❀ ☾ ( this is so cuteeeeeee )

barry

— art of seduction ✧

— issues ( ik this is a rafe fic but my blueberry is there so here )

— watch you’re mouth country club ☾ ❀

— softie ❀ ( awwwwww )

— responsibility ❀

john b

— let it snow ❀

— truth or dare ✧

— sticky notes ❀ ( jarah )

— i love you ❀ ( awwww )

— you and me against the world ❀

— always ☾ ❀

— knuckle kiss ❀

— 3 am ❀ ( I CANT ITS SO 😩 )

— pogue bonfire ☾ ❀ ( why not me god? )

— lazy river ❀

— i love you ❀

kiara carrera

— fuck up the friendship ✧ ( it’s kiesarah but it’s so good )

— take care of my girl ❀

— this omfg ✧ ( the title is long for here lol )

— nsfw alphabet ✧

— facades ✧ ( LAWD )

— enough ☾ ❀

— this concept ✧ ( l- l- lord )

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redsbrainrot · 1 year ago

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Fairytail in a GOT au - part 2

There’s the original post :) if you haven’t read that I suggest you do so you can get a gist of this one.

Gruvia

Arranged marriage

I think BonnieQ pretty much nailed what their relationship would be like already in her GOT au fic but I’m gonna continue anyways

Juvia and Gray would both be very stoic with each other for the first week, Juvia opens up way before he does though

Girl’s horny 24/7

Occasionally they’d make a trip to the Riverlands cause she gets a little homesick, but she loves the North just as much

Juvia shocked that she has a man that actually treats her with respect and doesn’t cross boundaries

Gray found her a bit odd at first but once he got to know her that boy was in looooove

When there’s a war they don’t leave each other behind they go together (despite how much Gray protests she stays home)

Lyon constantly making moves on a married woman, Gray would threaten to send him to the Wall

Like Bran in episode 1 I imagine Juvia finding a load of direwolf puppies and begging for Gray to let her keep them

He’s like “yeah whatever” but secretly he was also about to beg her to take them home

They’re pretty quick to have children (horny bastards)

Nalu

Natsu grew up in King’s Landing and one day the “Lannisters” (Lucy’s family) visited and Natsu pissed her the fuck off but they were actually pretty close by the end of it

Lucy was promised to someone else

Natsu is a knight

See where I’m going here

Forbidden looooove

Yeah they secretly shagging

They’d be like frenemies to lovers

They’d pull a Lyanna and Rhaegar and secretly elope

This is game of thrones people wouldn’t like that once they found out

Do I hear a war? Yeah there was totally a war because of it

Random bullshit

Natsu would be a knight to the Targaryens I think (so Mira’s family n that)

Targaryens would beg the Stark’s (Gray and co) to fight in the war against the Lannisters (angry Lucy family) and Gray would get in a little spat with Natsu about how he basically started a war for pussy

I feel like Lucy’s mother would’ve been a Tyrell

Natsu would have Targaryen blood fr but I feel like he’d be a bastard

Makarov runs a brothel in King’s landing lmao

Juvia would have Pyke blood too yk sea and that

Jellal and Erza are literally just Brienne and Jaime

Erza and Natsu still besties and she’d be in the King’s guard as well

Natsu would definitely have a dragon

Juvia is full on Catalyn when it comes to her kids (in a good way) she’ll do anything for them

#gray fullbuster #juvia lockser #fairy tail #gruvia #fairy tail 100 yq #gray x juvia #nalu #fairytail headcanons #game of thrones au #fairy tail got au #natsu dragneel #lucy heartifilla #lucy heartfilia #erza scarlet #jellal fernandes #jerza

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absolutely-normal-about-x · 1 year ago

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The Guardians’s Personalities

In Legends Reborn, the Guardians realize that they are no longer generals or bound by Neo Arcadia anymore. Since I talked about X, now it’s their turn. Besides how they feel and their personalities in this era of peace, they were able to get loose at last.

Harpuia is, not surprisingly, the one who had the hardest time adjusting to his new life as a newly formed body. Especially having to stop calling his father “Master X” because boy was that awkward as fuck considering that he’s his child rather than a soldier. So it’s decided that he’s going to call him Father for now. He misses his hands, but he has adjusted to his wings and how shockingly prehensile and flexible they are.

He tends to be strict, a bit of an organized neat freak, still acts like a leader, having to herd his chaotic younger siblings around, still retains his sense of Justice but has mellowed out, and has picked up hobbies that stimulate his mind Like puzzles, reading books (his favorites are extremely trashy, smutty romance books; it’s his guilty pleasure if you bring this up, he WILL DESTROY YOU), and playing strategy games that require more thought (He, Barrell, X, and surprisingly, Teiso?? play chest). Since learning how to fly with his new arms, he has developed some bird-like habits. He mostly enjoys flying around to see everything, but it makes him feel liberated and not trapped in the grand Gilded cage of Neo Arcadia.

He tends to do more jobs out in the field as a digger or an organizer. But also, due to his sense of justice, he tends to apprehend dangerous criminals. (The Bonnes are surprisingly good at providing him with some valuable information; he and Teiso tend to have a Rivalry/frenemy relationship.)

Leviathan has adjusted very well to her new life, at least. Aside from getting used to being a carbonate most of the time,. Levi absolutely revels in her newly discovered freedom, being more carefree than she used to be. She is loving the new body. It may be soft, but it still has fishy traits, but dammit, she kills it. Aside from the fact that she can't survive desserts for shit, she’ll complain through the entire goddamn trip if they do not prepare a cooling spot for her. She doesn't really miss her previous life as a general, but she holds a level of shame about it. She happily calls X her dad.

She's very sassy, playful, and somewhat of a diva with a mischievous streak. Still holding her passion for all sea life (yes, even the more fucked-up ones), she often happily states facts about them if asked. She hates getting dirty (she gets dramatic as fuck about) and has a preference for the water and the sea, which gives her more power since the world is flooded. She's a bit of a fashion fan, often going clothes shopping or, at times (with Phantom’s help), making clothes to match her taste. She's the gossip gal, spilling the latest tea on someone with her gal pals or her dad. She still holds her sadistic side but only uses it when it's necessary (like protecting her sweet little brother and her loved ones). Despite how she acts most of the time, she’s genuine with her words and is a big sister figure to folks who need help.

As a deep sea digger, she's known to stay in underwater ruins for long periods of time to seek and recover treasure and supplies, which is really damn good. Because of her looks (it's fucking obvious who she got it from) and love of fashion, she has a modeling gig going. Frankly, she's a bit popular, but not supermodel-level, but well known. Also, due to her flirtatious attitude, she tends to charm men and women to get what she wants (to Harpuia’s dismay).

Fefnir: It was weird to adjust to this new life for himself. At first, he complained about how limited this body was in contrast to his stronger one. But over time, it has seen its advantages and then quickly eased up. The carefree life of Terra was really weird to get used to, but he has developed new ways to excite himself. His once hot-blooded temper has significantly lowered now that he can fight for fun! Bro is loving his draconic traits because they make him already cooler. His affinity for fire has allowed him to be resistant to heat (especially on the hottest days or deserts, when he gets even more excited), but he will die in the freezing cold. Straight up calls and pops.

He’s a bold, loud, passionate, and surprisingly laid-back individual. Who still enjoys fighting despite the peaceful era of Terra? His imposing stature tends to scare people away, but the truth is, he’s laid back and holds a surprising amount of emotional intelligence. Surprisingly solid advice. His bluntness may come off as rude, but he really does mean well for others. Always saying what comes out of his mind. He has a lot of knowledge of agriculture thanks to his time as a general. To the point that he has developed a green thumb for plants. He often hears Levi's gossip for the shits and giggles. He’s really content with his current life on Terra.

Out of everyone in the family aside from Volnutt, he’s very much a full-time digger. Most of his job is just him doing high-level digs to fight off dangerous reaverbots or fighting off air pirates. He doesn’t mind doing hard work for people.

Phantom, there’s not much to say about how much he feels about the adjustment period, but the truth is, he’s content with the circumstances surrounding his resurrection. But there was at one point where he had light sensitivity with his new eyes for a time that caused him to wear sunglasses. He’s quiet about the changes compared to his siblings (they probably have to be more direct with him). Shockingly, he’s finally able to express his repressed emotions after so long, but in very subtle ways that only his family can notice. Especially his sillier, softer side, because it turns out that despite his quiet, mature personality, Phantom is young. Especially when it comes to pranks and games, he’s quite the trickster. He’s older than Volnutt but actually younger than his brothers and sister. Like Harpuia, he prefers to call X "Father.”.

In terms of his personality, his quiet, cautious, yet loyal nature is still present . But he’s really social and shy, awkward, and loathes being surrounded by massive crowds. This is why he prefers to stay in the shadows compared to anyone else. But still, he’s fiercely loyal to his family and friends. One aspect of him is that he’s capable of being goofy and mischievous. He enjoys scaring people by suddenly appearing without warning and pulling small little pranks. Also saying the most wild shit that ever came out of his mouth. Often than not, he enjoys being the cause of chaos, just for the hell of it. He’s known to be a fantastic listener, hearing things out and providing some insight. He’s also kind of a famous cryptid; his ninja abilities allow him to disappear into the shadows. Seeing folks make conspiracy theories about him is the funniest sh*t ever.

Currently, it's unknown what he’s up to these days, aside from helping his father around the house or doing patrols. However, he loves working part-time at a local cat cafe. I absolutely loved a cat from that cafe named Butterscotch. But it's hard to be the weirdest cryptid of all terra.

#megaman x #rockman x #megaman legends #legends reborn #mmzFefnir #sage harpuia #fairy leviathan #hidden phantom #Fun fact their animalistic traits are supposed to represent that they are free from the cage of Neo Arcadia

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nonwal · 1 year ago

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writing updates

figured I should update my pinned post, so here's a list of my active* WIPs—please ask questions about any of these (or any of my completed fics!)

* not necessarily fics that will get published, just works that I am still actively writing/planning/thinking about

Critical Role

the sea, the stars, the dreamers

blumenshadow

space opera/arranged marriage/murder mystery. four wizards have a terrible time on a spaceship. AKA the Among Us AU

partially published, extremely rough draft complete(ish) but in need of serious editing/revisions. still slowly chipping away at that, and publishing will resume after the second draft is complete

a body in absentia

shadowgast

exploration of Essek's (and Bren's) relationship with sex/intimacy through the lens of a scourger AU, plus magical gender transition with the complications of a scourger AU

main fic complete. many one-shots in various stages of completion; most likely to get finished are the one with a riding crop and the voyeurism fic

a wolf is a ghost with teeth

Eadwulf/Fjord/Jester

man who worships goddess of death has existential crisis after his body gets fished out of the ocean and resurrected. also, the ocean really, really wants him back (and Eadwulf wants to be used useful)

unlikely to be finished due to sheer size, but it's a damn fun idea. Fjord is living in an adventure movie, Jester is in a romance novel, Eadwulf is stuck in a ghost story where he is both the house and the haunting

what collects in the hollow

Astrid/Beau/Yasha

a mirror to a wolf is a ghost with teeth, set during the same time but following Astrid. having achieved her life goals and besieged by emails paperwork, local woman has midlife crisis and turns to a frenemy?nemesis? coworker? monk for help. also, Beau mentors a teenage wizard with sociopathic tendencies and Yasha shows Astrid the benefits of eating bugs

equally unlikely to get finished as awiagwt, but I have a lot of ideas

untitled BQ/RQ fic

Bright Queen/Raven Queen

Leylas Kryn is the last mortal who remembers meeting the Raven Queen before she ascended. 7+1 conversations, each time that Leylas dies (+ an interlude with Quana)

unlikely to be finished but it's such a cool concept that I'm loathe to abandon it

Baldur's Gate 3

light in unlit places

Wyll/Astarion

post-canon (possibly pre-epilogue? haven't finished the game yet.) Astarion gets saved by Wyll and runs into complications trying to return the favor. parties, politics, peril. heroic idealist/guy who does the dirty work. (also, the unexpected consequences of releasing that many vampires into the underdark)

in the slapping ideas around phase so we'll see if a coherent story emerges from what is currently Concept Soup

#tStStD #body in absentia #awiagwt #critical role #bg3 #wcith

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tiny-breadcrumbs · 1 year ago

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Currently rewatching mlc with bullet comment on. Its amusing to see this one account going from "this di feisheng should just die, I don't like him fighting my cheng yi" (east sea battle scene) to "well, they are such a cute frenemies! Don't be shy, he is your bestie!" (Eps 8) and then, "A-fei you are such a tsundere!" (The whole cailian manor arc). By the time it reach the qiao wanmian wedding arc, this person totally forgot her cheng yi and going full on mode screaming about di feisheng. She even write a colorful curse with the wuxin huai poisoning. I can't wait to see her reaction when jiao liqiao entering the game with her full power 😂😂

#can relate with this person #she didn't even react whenever li lianhua spit blood anymore but going feral over anything di feisheng related #mysterious lotus casebook #di feisheng #li lianhua #li xiangyi #fang duobing #lian hua lou

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sydneyofalltrades · 2 years ago

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RTC headcanons: Ocean Edition!

Small TW for an ED, but other than that everything else is fine ;)

Ocean was born prematurely, and her parents were less surprised she was born early bc they didn’t want her to conform to society’s rules

Ocean’s favorite colors are green and white, her parents decorated her room in a well, ocean themed style with sea green and white paintings and colorful coral like paper weights and decor

Ocean doesn’t have a bed, her parents made her a hammock. After she was three they disassembled her bed and placed a hammock there telling her she’ll “feel the positive vibes” better

When Ocean was seven, she sang the national anthem “O Canada” at a hockey game, and a curly haired girl with thick glasses complimented on her singing. From that day, little Connie Blackwood and Ocean Rosenberg became “best friends”

Ocean never liked her appearance in the mirror. She was told she was perfect but felt like it was a lie. For the first year of high school, she had a very bad eating disorder that Constance helped her overcome

Ocean as a kid was always confused by the boy with curly hair who never talked, always was reading and using his hands. When her teachers explained Ricky couldn’t speak, she decided to talk to him, only for her to be confused by his weird hand language. Eventually she learned ASL, not for the benefit of communicating, but for the fact that she could brag about it

Ocean’s first interaction with Noel was a mess. They were both coloring their art, Ocean’s had her on top of the world, Noel’s was of his mom. They both grabbed the red crayon at the same time and had a fit over it, screaming and fighting and eventually snapping the crayon in half. From that day forward, Ocean and Noel were the worst of frenemies

Ocean caught Mischa stealing those three boxes of wine. Instead of telling anyone, she made a deal with him. Since she could tell he was already slightly inebriated, she asked him to join the choir in exchange for taking the wine. Mischa agreed hastily, and only realized what he did after Ocean smugly reminded him

Ocean was made head of the choir at eleven, something she was justly proud of, but at the time people would just come and go, no one would stick around that long except for her and Constance. So she blackmailed Noel and convinced Ricky’s parents to let him join, always telling herself it was “for the greater good”

Ocean always tells people she’s straight, but what she hides is the fact that she’s actually a lesbian in straight-passing clothing, not wanting to come out of the closet due to intense internalized homophobia

Ocean’s last regret when she was falling through the air was she’d never apologize to everyone she hurt. Her parents, because she was so distant with them, the choir, because she forced them into this, and Constance, for being a cruel friend. She covers up that shame by being overly confident and snarky, but deep down she feels awful about it

#ride the cyclone #ride the cyclone headcanons #ocean o'connell rosenberg #rtc #sydneys weirdness

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holidaygirl2412 · 2 months ago

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💬New Post from holidaygirl1224

I'm surprised it's taken me this long to make this, but here's a quick little master post about… well, me X) Hello! My name's Noelle, though you probably know me by my screen-name holidaygirl1224. I make music out of my bedroom, am an infrequent winner of my school's "leaving first" competition, and I'm also a huge nerd! XD On this page I write about a wide variety of topics, basically everyday… random stories about my life, games, music and more! If you're at all interested in my music, it would mean the world to me if you checked it out here! If you're at all interested in my blog… well, you're ALREADY here, but feel free to ask me anything here! (I am more likely to respond to anonymous questions btw… I enjoy the mystery XP) Finally, HERE's a small list of some of my favorite posts I've done so far… there's a good mixture of the promised "my life, games, music and more!": skyline Sea Frenemies Noelle's Lost Weekend Antlers New Girl Out Sick Spring's Nearly Sprung Broken TV Have a merry day!

#Post Thirty-Two: About Me #holidaygirl1224 #holidaygirl1224 music #noelle #noelle holiday #noelle deltarune #writing #fan project #utdr #webcore #deltarune

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sebassystan · 10 months ago

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below are some basic connections for SEBASTIAN STAN. Sebastian is SINGLE and currently living in SEA BREEZE, NORTH CAROLINA. He identifies as PANSEXUAL and was born on AUGUST 13th, 1982 making him 40 YEARS OLD. if you spot a connection you're interested in, feel free to shoot me an IM or comment below.

—— PLATONIC CONNECTIONS. ❜

best friends. -

confidants. -

ride or die.

drunk friends-

online friends.

secret friends-

enemies to friends.

wing(wo)men.

wing man

squad.

sibling like friends.-

platonic soulmates.

unlikely friends.- barry keoghan

positive influence.

seem like a married couple.

former lovers to friends.

new friends, aka friends who just met.

—— ROMANTIC CONNECTIONS. ❜

slow burn:

flirtationship. - lzzy hale

one night stand.

one sided romance.

friends with benefits turned more:

blind date.

forbidden romance.

exes on good terms. -

exes on bad terms.

love / hate.

unrequited crush.

celebrity crush.

previously friendzoned.

summer romance.

friends with benefits-

past friends with benefits- alexa bliss

enemies with benefits.

one leads the other on.

publicity partner.

one night stand or fling that was regretted later.

—— NEGATIVE CONNECTIONS. ❜

enemies.

former (best) friends.

frenemies.

rivals.

—— MISCELLANEOUS. ❜

neighbors on good terms.

neighbors on bad terms.

have mutual friends.

roommates. - sebastian stan

have mutual friends but don’t get along.

co-workers.

fitness buddies.

game together online.

#plot #connections

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sanaserena · 2 years ago

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“Will you stay still! I still need to turn you into mashed potato!” Aurora snarled.

But of course, that was too much to ask. It was like telling hot chilli not to be hot! Or pretending that a green charleston chili didn’t have the potential to be spicy. Anyone who knew their foods, knew that never say never was more likely!

“So, out of curiosity,” Kid said, grinning widely, grabbing a random person nearby as a shield. “Who got more drunk?”

Aurora’s rock hit Kid square in the face.

She heard a “ Fuck!” and launched herself at him, shoving the innocent bystander away, and sat on Kid, fisting his shirt once again. It was such a long way away from the first time they met, and it had been Kid who had been shaking her. Well payback was a bitch.

“Drake did!” She shook him once.

Kid blinked, his grin died. “What really?”

“Yes damn it.” She dragged his face close to hers. “Because every time I said something, he chose to drink instead of answering.”

“Seriously? What kind of game were you both playing?” he asked, confused, for one second forgetting that Aurora was straddled over him, furious.

“The let’s-see-if-I-could-make-him-regret-it game. That whole day was the worst date I’ve ever been on, you miserable, limp, over boiled spinach!”

Kid frowned. “Wait, wait, wait…If he was blushing, what the hell did you ask?”

Aurora just blinked at him. “That’s all you can focus on?”

“Was redhead there?”

“On my date with Drake?” She looked at him pointedly.

“Well she seems like the type to make a guy red in the face.”

“Is your head in the gutter?” Aurora crossed her arms over her chest.

“Yeah, but seriously, what would make that lizard man blush?”

“She asked if I wanted to play a strip drinking game,” said a much too familiar voice behind Aurora, surprisingly calm. “And whether I’d prefer to see her naked or Joy, whether I preferred a girl to take her bra off under her shirt or shirt off but bra on, whether I preferred shirt off or pants off underwear still on, what my favourite sex position is, and what positions I liked best, and many, many other questions I now understand were meant to scare me off. Oh, and she told me that she recently enjoyed your oh-so-expensive rum while playing a strip game with a former Admiral.”

Kid looked stunned.

Aurora jerked around, blushing badly. What the hell was Drake doing here? And how the hell did he say all that so calmly?

Drake was standing there, arms also folded over his chest, looking resolved, despite the furious blush at his neck. Aurora hadn’t expected to see him again!

“You—” Kid growled, spotting Drake. “Get your little girlfriend off me!”

“I’m not his girlfriend!” Aurora said.

“Oh that’s right, because you’re a food obsessed little monster! You need to get off me! I can't believe you used my rum on a stripping game. Thought you of all people would have appreciated it!”

"Actually it was the drinking game not the strip game," Aurora said looking at both Kid and Drake pointedly. "And don't be a baby, we sold the rest if that makes you feel better!"

Kid gaped. "Are you fucking kidding me, you little monster!"

Aurora ignored him. “Why are you here?” she asked Drake.

“I’m coming with you.”

“What?” Aurora and Kid said at the same time, one in surprise, and the other in horror.

~♥~♦~♠~♣~♥~♦~♠~♣~♥~♦~♠~♣~♥~♦~♠~♣~♥~♦~♠~♣~♥~♦~♠~♣~♥~♦~♠~♣~

"Aurora throws rocks at Kid in interrogation, Drake appears scene" from Ch 54 of my collab semi-canon divergent fic with @legacyofafox, Two Devils and the Toughest Pirates on the Seas: A How-to Guide on Teasing over on AO3 (X Drake x OC pairing (Aurora, my character for the fic); Eustass Kid and Aurora are frenemies at best)

#one piece #one piece fanfiction #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #eustass kid #collab story #collaboration #semi canon divergent #this is a comedy #x drake #x drake x oc #oc #oc character #so many random food insults because Aurora can't help herself #Kid doesn't know he's her wingman albeit a terrible one

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onlycreadores · 6 days ago

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Mi Viaje como Modelo e Influencer: Una Guía Personal

Holisss!!! Me emociona mucho que estés interesada en convertirte en influencer o modelo en línea. Recuerdo cuando apenas empezaba—tenía un montón de dudas y, la neta, me sentía algo abrumada. Por eso quise crear esta guía para ti, compartiendo todo lo que he aprendido en mi camino como creadora e influencer en redes.

Estoy pensando en escribir un libro sobre mi camino. ¡Sígueme en redes si te late la idea! Pronto voy a estar regalando varios ejemplares.

¡Vamos a darle!

Cómo Me Convertí en Influencer (¡Y Cómo Tú También Puedes!)

Cuando la gente me pregunta cómo me convertí en influencer, siempre les digo que hay tres elementos clave que marcaron toda la diferencia para mí:

Creación de Contenido: La Consistencia es Reina

¡No puedo enfatizarlo suficiente—la consistencia lo cambió todo para mí! Al principio, intentaba publicar cuando me llegaba la inspiración, pero mi crecimiento era súper lento. Una vez que me comprometí a publicar diariamente (¡sí, diario!) en mis plataformas públicas, mi audiencia comenzó a crecer constantemente.

Recuerdo quedarme despierta hasta tarde una noche, planeando mi calendario de contenido para las siguientes dos semanas. Parecía exagerado en ese momento, ¡pero esa sesión de planificación lo cambió todo! Ahora creo contenido en lotes cada domingo por la tarde—grabo entre 15-20 fotos y videos que puedo usar durante la semana. Algunos son para mis plataformas públicas, y otros son exclusivos para mis suscriptores de OnlyFans. De esta manera, incluso en días cuando no me siento al cien o la vida se pone loca, todavía tengo contenido listo para subir.

Mi estética característica no surgió de la noche a la mañana. Experimenté con diferentes estilos hasta que encontré lo que se sentía auténticamente "yo"—un feed colorido y brillante con un toque de sensualidad en mis plataformas públicas, y contenido más íntimo y exclusivo para mis suscriptores. Encuentra lo que hace que tu contenido sea reconocible como tuyo, ¡y mantente fiel a ello!

Distribución: Trabajando Con el Algoritmo, No Contra Él

¡Ay, el algoritmo! ¡Mi frenemy! Pasé meses frustrada cuando mis publicaciones no rendían bien hasta que me di cuenta de que necesitaba trabajar con el algoritmo, no luchar contra él.

Para mí, publicar a las 7 AM y 7 PM consigue el mejor engagement en Instagram—¡pero tu audiencia podría ser diferente! Uso mis analíticas religiosamente para ver cuándo mis seguidores están más activos. También reutilizo contenido entre plataformas, pero nunca publico exactamente lo mismo en todos lados. Mis videos de TikTok son más casuales y enfocados en tendencias, mientras que mi contenido de Instagram es más pulido y estético. Y, por supuesto, mi contenido más exclusivo lo guardo para mis suscriptores de OnlyFans.

Los hashtags también fueron un game-changer para mí. Tengo una nota en mi celular con diferentes conjuntos de hashtags para diferentes tipos de contenido. Mezclo algunos súper populares con otros medianos y de nicho para maximizar la visibilidad. Solo ten cuidado con los hashtags en plataformas que podrían restringir contenido relacionado con OnlyFans—he aprendido a ser sutil en mis perfiles públicos.

Promoción: Construyendo Conexiones Reales

Mi agencia maneja la mayor parte de mi estrategia de promoción ahora, pero si estás empezando por tu cuenta, esto es lo que sé que funciona porque lo hice yo misma por un tiempo: ¡responder a cada comentario en la primera hora después de publicar aumenta significativamente tu engagement! Todavía lo hago una prioridad incluso con el apoyo de la agencia, y ha hecho una gran diferencia.

Algunos de mis mayores momentos de crecimiento vinieron de colaboraciones. Mi primera colab fue con otra creadora que tenía una audiencia de tamaño similar pero en un nicho complementario. Creamos contenido juntas para ambas plataformas, ¡y ambas ganamos como 1,000 nuevos seguidores esa semana! Ahora mi agencia ayuda a organizar algunas de estas colaboraciones, pero sigo manteniendo esas conexiones personales.

También participo en retos virales cuando se alinean con mi marca. ¿Recuerdas esa tendencia viral de "un día en mi vida" del año pasado? Mi versión se convirtió en mi video más visto y me trajo miles de nuevos seguidores. Mi agencia me mantiene al tanto de qué tendencias vale la pena seguir, pero siempre les agrego mi toque personal.

Para Empezar: Mi Checklist Para Ti

Si empezara hoy, esto es exactamente lo que haría: * Elegir UNA plataforma para dominar primero (yo elegiría Instagram o TikTok para contenido público, junto con OnlyFans o Patreon para contenido de suscripción) * Definir qué me hace única (para mí, fue combinar mi amor por los videojuegos y el cosplay con contenido exclusivo de buen gusto, y sin mostrar mi cara) * Crear un calendario de contenido simple (¡incluso planear con una semana de anticipación ayuda muchísimo!) * Invertir en buena iluminación antes que nada (en serio, un ring light de $600 pesos mejoró mi contenido más que mi cámara cara al principio) * Estudiar a creadores que admiro, pero darle mi propio giro a todo

Hablemos de Dinero: Cómo Realmente Me Gano la Vida

¡El dinero era un tema tabú cuando empecé, y ojalá no lo fuera! Déjame desglosar cómo realmente gano dinero como creadora de contenido:

Representación de Agencia (Rosa Verde Agencia): Mi Base de Estabilidad

Cuando apenas estaba empezando, estaba desempleada y realmente batallando económicamente. Sabía que quería construir una carrera como creadora de contenido, pero necesitaba algo de estabilidad mientras hacía crecer mis plataformas.

Fue entonces cuando descubrí mi agencia de modelaje. A diferencia de muchas agencias que solo trabajan con creadores establecidos, me ofrecieron un salario inicial de 10,000 MXN al mes. ¡Esto fue un salvavidas para mí! Cubría la mayoría de mis gastos básicos mientras construía mi audiencia desde cero.

El proceso de aplicación fue súper estresante—armé un portafolio simple y envié mi solicitud, sin realmente esperar una respuesta. ¡Cuando me mandaron mensaje para una entrevista, quedé en shock! Vieron potencial en mí aunque apenas estaba empezando.

Tener ese ingreso estable hizo una gran diferencia en la calidad de mi contenido. En lugar de estresarme cada mes por pagar la renta, podía concentrarme en crear buen contenido y hacer crecer mis plataformas. Me dio el espacio que necesitaba para experimentar y encontrar mi voz.

No te va a hacer rica al principio, pero la estabilidad es invaluable cuando apenas estás empezando. Hablaré más sobre ellos más adelante.

Colaboraciones con Marcas: Mi Ingreso Complementario

Aunque OnlyFans es mi principal fuente de ingresos, también trabajo con marcas de videojuegos y cosplay en mis plataformas públicas. Mi primera colaboración pagada fue con un pequeño desarrollador indie por solo $3,000 pesos para transmitir su juego durante dos horas. Ahora cobro mucho más por streams y posts patrocinados, ¡pero tuve que empezar en algún lado! Estos días, mi agencia en Rosa Verde maneja la mayoría de las negociaciones y el papeleo, lo cual es un alivio—pero yo sigo teniendo la última palabra sobre con qué marcas trabajo.

He descubierto que las relaciones de embajadora a largo plazo son mucho más estables que las publicaciones únicas. He sido embajadora de marca para una empresa de periféricos de gaming durante más de un año, promocionando sus teclados, ratones y auriculares en mis streams y posts. Ese ingreso mensual constante es súper útil para mi presupuesto. Mi agencia ayudó a asegurar este acuerdo a largo plazo, pero tuve que construir mi marca personal primero para que sucediera.

Soy selectiva con las marcas con las que trabajo—necesitan alinearse con mis valores e intereses de gaming. He rechazado oportunidades mejor pagadas para promocionar juegos que no disfrutaba jugar porque no se sentiría auténtico, y nunca me he arrepentido de esas decisiones. Mi agencia respeta esto y solo me trae oportunidades que coinciden con mi imagen de marca, lo que nos ahorra tiempo a todos.

Creando Contenido para Negocios

¡Esta fue una fuente de ingresos inesperada! Una boutique que había presentado en mi contenido me contactó preguntando si podía crear fotos para su sitio web. Ahora regularmente creo paquetes de contenido para que las marcas los usen en sus propios canales, y me pagan por el contenido en lugar de por publicarlo en mis plataformas.

He descubierto que muchos pequeños negocios saben que necesitan contenido para redes pero no saben cómo crearlo—¡ahí es donde entramos nosotros! Cobro por imagen/video e incluyo derechos de uso en mis contratos.

Mi Línea de Tiempo de Ingresos (Siendo Honesta)

Déjame ser totalmente honesta sobre mi trayectoria de ingresos:

* Punto de partida: Desempleada sin ingresos de creación de contenido

* Primer paso: Aseguré un salario mensual de 10,000 MXN de mi agencia

* Primeros 3 meses: Gané muy poco más allá de mi salario de agencia—tal vez $4,000 pesos en total de pequeños acuerdos con marcas

* Alrededor del mes 5: El salario de la agencia subió a 15,000 MXN

* 6-12 meses: Comencé a recibir productos gratis y mis primeros acuerdos pagados pequeños ($2,000-6,000 pesos por publicación). El salario de la agencia subió a 25,000 MXN. Los ingresos de Twitch también comenzaron a ser bastante decentes en esta etapa.

¡No fue un éxito de la noche a la mañana, para nada! Hubo meses en los que cuestioné si valía la pena, pero la persistencia realmente da frutos.

Encontrando Tu Squad de Colaboración: Mi Enfoque para el Networking

¡Las colaboraciones han sido cruciales para mi crecimiento! Mientras mi agencia ahora facilita muchas de mis colaboraciones profesionales, sigo manteniendo mi red personal. Así es como he encontrado a mis creadores favoritos para colaborar y lo que recomiendo si estás empezando por tu cuenta:

Networking Profesional Que Realmente Funcionó

¡Agregar "[email protected]" a mi bio fue un cambio tan simple pero me trajo tantas oportunidades! También creé un media kit simple usando Canva—solo una página con mis datos demográficos de audiencia, tasas de engagement y trabajo previo con marcas.

El año pasado, asistí a mi primera convención de creadores, ¡y valió cada peso! Me conecté con tantos creadores que admiraba en línea, y esas conexiones en persona llevaron a colaboraciones que probablemente no habrían sucedido a través de DMs fríos.

Intenté unirme a varios servidores de Discord para creadores, pero honestamente, han sido mayormente una pérdida de tiempo. Hay algo sobre el formato de chat que saca lo peor de la gente—mucho drama, comportamiento poco profesional y muy pocos consejos prácticos. La gente parece más interesada en quejarse o presumir que en realmente ayudarse mutuamente a crecer. He encontrado tal vez una o dos conexiones valiosas allí, pero tuve que pasar por cientos de conversaciones sin sentido para encontrarlas. Mis conexiones de agencia han sido mucho más valiosas que cualquier comunidad de Discord.

Mi Estrategia de Acercamiento

Cuando me acerco a otros creadores, siempre comienzo interactuando genuinamente con su contenido durante al menos 2-3 semanas. Dejo comentarios reflexivos y comparto su contenido en mis Stories antes de enviar un DM sobre colaboración.

Mi mensaje de acercamiento más exitoso fue cuando propuse un concepto específico: "¡Me encantó tu contenido de trajes de baño! ¿Qué tal si hacemos una sesión de fotos en la playa juntas, mostrando diferentes estilos para diferentes tipos de cuerpo?" Ser específica sobre los beneficios mutuos marcó toda la diferencia.

Etiqueta de Colaboración Que Sigo

He aprendido algunas lecciones importantes sobre la etiqueta de colaboración: * Siempre llegar a tiempo para las sesiones de colaboración (una vez hice esperar a alguien 30 minutos debido al tráfico, ¡y todavía me arrepiento!) * Cumplir con las promesas de compartir y etiquetar * Respetar límites—algunos creadores se sienten cómodos compartiendo más de sus vidas personales que otros * Siempre promover el contenido colaborativo con el mismo esfuerzo que pones en tu contenido en solitario

Estrategia de Plataformas: Dónde Enfoco Mi Energía

¡Con tantas plataformas por ahí, es fácil sentir que necesitas estar en todas partes! Aquí está mi opinión honesta sobre dónde enfocarte:

Instagram: Mi Plataforma de Descubrimiento

Instagram es mi plataforma pública principal y genera la mayoría de mis nuevos suscriptores de OnlyFans. Es perfecta para dar un adelanto de mi contenido premium mientras mantengo las pautas de la plataforma.

He descubierto que una mezcla de Reels, publicaciones de carrusel e Historias me da el mejor engagement general. Los Reels atraen nuevos seguidores, los carruseles obtienen más guardados, y las Historias construyen la conexión más fuerte con mi audiencia existente.

Soy cuidadosa de seguir las pautas de la comunidad mientras muestro mi personalidad y estilo. Mi contenido es sugestivo pero nunca explícito—eso lo guardo para mi OnlyFans.

TikTok: Mi Motor de Crecimiento

TikTok fue intimidante al principio (¡me sentía tan vieja!), pero ahora es mi plataforma de más rápido crecimiento. La capacidad de descubrimiento no tiene igual—he tenido videos que llegan a personas que nunca me habrían encontrado en Instagram.

Mantengo mi contenido de TikTok más casual y enfocado en tendencias. No tengo miedo de mostrar más mi personalidad aquí, incluyendo los momentos detrás de escena que no encajarían con mi estética de Instagram.

Al igual que con Instagram, soy muy cuidadosa de seguir las pautas de la comunidad. Mi contenido insinúa mi OnlyFans sin mencionarlo explícitamente, usando lenguaje codificado que mi público objetivo entiende.

Twitch: Mi Centro de Comunidad Gaming

Twitch ha sido un cambio de juego para mí (¡juego de palabras intencional!). Como gamer, hacer streaming fue algo natural, y se ha convertido en una de mis plataformas principales. Hago stream 3-4 veces por semana, jugando de todo, desde shooters competitivos hasta RPGs con historia.

Lo que me encanta de Twitch es la interacción en tiempo real con los espectadores. El chat siempre está animado durante mis streams, y he construido una comunidad de apoyo allí. Puedo reaccionar a los comentarios al instante, compartir mis reacciones genuinas a momentos del juego, y simplemente ser yo misma.

La monetización en Twitch viene a través de suscripciones, bits (propinas), y streams patrocinados ocasionales cuando un desarrollador de juegos quiere que muestre su nuevo lanzamiento. Mi agencia ha ayudado a asegurar algunas oportunidades increíbles de streams patrocinados con grandes compañías de juegos que no habría conseguido por mi cuenta.

Mis Plataformas Secundarias

Uso Twitter (X) principalmente para networking con otros creadores y actualizaciones rápidas sobre mis streams y nuevos cosplays. También es más amigable con OnlyFans que otras plataformas, así que puedo ser más directa sobre mi contenido de suscripción allí.

Reddit ha sido valioso para investigación y comunidad, especialmente subreddits de gaming y cosplay, aunque soy cuidadosa con la auto-promoción allí.

YouTube es donde publico mis momentos destacados de stream, procesos de creación de cosplay y tutoriales de gaming. Es genial para contenido más evergreen.

Mis Consejos de Gestión de Plataformas

¡Créeme, tratar de estar activa en cada plataforma te quemará rápido! Mi agencia me ayuda a gestionar mi calendario de contenido ahora, pero esto es lo que funciona para mí (y lo que hice antes de tener apoyo de agencia): * Enfoco el 80% de mi energía en mis plataformas principales: Twitch, Instagram y OnlyFans * Tengo diferentes horarios de contenido para diferentes plataformas: * Twitch: 3-4 streams programados por semana (generalmente por las noches) * Instagram: Publicaciones diarias, alternando entre contenido de gaming y showcases de cosplay * TikTok: 3 veces por semana, enfocándome en audio en tendencia con temas de gaming/cosplay * OnlyFans: 3 veces por semana contenido exclusivo de cosplay * Uso una herramienta de programación de redes sociales para planificar contenido con anticipación (mi agencia maneja esto ahora, pero es esencial si estás por tu cuenta) * Reutilizo contenido entre plataformas (los momentos destacados de Twitch se convierten en videos de YouTube, las sesiones de fotos de cosplay proporcionan contenido para Instagram, TikTok y OnlyFans) * Tengo reuniones regulares de estrategia con mi equipo de Rosa Verde para analizar lo que está funcionando y ajustar nuestro enfoque, especialmente cuando se lanzan nuevos juegos que debería cubrir

Creación de Contenido: Encontrando Mi Voz

La pregunta más grande que recibo es sobre qué contenido crear. Este es mi enfoque:

Balanceando Tendencias y Autenticidad

Mantengo un ojo cercano en las tendencias, ¡especialmente en TikTok donde se mueven tan rápido! Todos los días me envían sonidos en tendencia para crear contenido (ya ni hago mi propia investigación)

Uno de mis videos más exitosos fue darle mi propio giro a la tendencia "moving walkway"—la usé para mostrar diferentes outfits mientras agregaba mi propia personalidad. Consiguió más de un millón de vistas porque combinaba una tendencia popular con mi perspectiva única.

Trato de balancear contenido basado en tendencias (aproximadamente 40% de mis publicaciones) con contenido más evergreen que no se sentirá desactualizado en un mes.

Escuchando a Mi Audiencia

Mi estrategia de contenido se transformó completamente cuando comencé a analizar realmente lo que funcionaba bien en lugar de simplemente publicar lo que sentía ganas de crear.

Noté que mis videos de prueba de outfits constantemente superaban a mis publicaciones de un solo outfit, así que creé más de ese formato. También uso regularmente encuestas en mis Historias para preguntar directamente qué contenido quiere ver más mi audiencia.

Mis Pilares de Contenido

Organizo mi contenido alrededor de cinco pilares principales: 1. Contenido de gaming (streams de gameplay, reseñas de juegos, videos de reacción a nuevos lanzamientos) 2. Contenido de cosplay (showcases de personajes, procesos de creación de disfraces, visitas a convenciones) 3. Behind-the-scenes (mi proceso creativo, talleres de cosplay, tours de mi setup) 4. Contenido basado en personalidad (Q&As, anécdotas sobre mi viaje de gaming/cosplay) 5. Contenido exclusivo (sets temáticos de cosplay para suscriptores de OnlyFans)

Este marco me ayuda a mantener variedad mientras permanezco fiel a mi marca. Intento tocar cada pilar al menos una vez por semana en mis plataformas.

Hábitos de Creación de Contenido Que Cambiaron Mi Juego

Algunas prácticas que han hecho una gran diferencia para mí: * Me enfoco obsesivamente en los primeros 3 segundos de los videos—si no captan la atención inmediatamente, la gente sigue scrolleando * Creo contenido en lotes en días designados en lugar de andar a las prisas diariamente * Pruebo nuevos formatos con una "regla de tres intentos"—pruebo cualquier nuevo formato de contenido al menos tres veces antes de decidir si funciona para mí

Encontrando Representación: Mi Experiencia con Agencias

¡El mundo de las agencias puede ser confuso! Aquí está mi experiencia personal:

Cómo Descubrí Mi Agencia de Modelaje

Cuando decidí dedicarme a la creación de contenido a tiempo completo, estaba desempleada y realmente batallando económicamente. Sabía que tenía potencial, pero necesitaba algo de estabilidad mientras construía mis plataformas.

Investigué agencias en línea y encontré Rosa Verde Agencia cuando estaba buscando en Google "agencias de onlyfans"... ahí estaban, casi al principio de los resultados.

Descubrí que ofrecían un salario base de 10,000 MXN al mes a sus modelos. Esto parecía perfecto para mi situación—podía perseguir mi pasión mientras tenía algo de seguridad financiera.

¡El proceso de aplicación fue algo intimidante! Armé un portafolio simple con mis mejores fotos y llené su aplicación en línea. Fui completamente honesta sobre ser nueva en la industria pero enfaticé mi dedicación y disposición para aprender.

¡Para mi sorpresa, me mandaron mensaje para una entrevista! Estaba súper nerviosa, pero me enfoqué en mostrar mi personalidad y pasión en lugar de la experiencia que no tenía todavía. Vieron potencial en mí y me ofrecieron un contrato con ese salario mensual de 10,000 MXN.

Ese salario fue un salvavidas—cubría la mayoría de mis gastos básicos mientras construía mi audiencia desde cero. En lugar de entrar en pánico por la renta cada mes, podía concentrarme en crear contenido de calidad y hacer crecer mis plataformas.

Mi Proceso de Aplicación a la Agencia

Si estás considerando aplicar a agencias como yo lo hice, esto es lo que funcionó para mí: * Creé un portafolio simple pero profesional mostrando diferentes looks * Escribí una carta de presentación personalizada explicando por qué quería trabajar como creadora de contenido * Fui honesta sobre mi nivel de experiencia pero enfaticé mi compromiso * Seguí sus instrucciones de aplicación exactamente

Tipos de Agencias Que Consideré

Miré varios tipos de representación: * Agencias de modelaje tradicionales (querían medidas específicas que no tenía) * Agencias específicas para influencers (buenas para acuerdos con marcas pero no ofrecían salario base, ¡algunas querían dinero DE MÍ—jaja!) * Otras agencias de creadores de contenido como Rosa Verde (hay bastantes) * Compañías de gestión de talento (más para creadores que buscan expandirse a medios tradicionales)

Mis Consejos Sobre Agencias

Si estás considerando representación, esto es lo que desearía haber sabido: * Entiende exactamente qué se espera de ti * Pregunta sobre exclusividad—¿puedes trabajar con otras agencias o marcas independientemente? * Sé clara sobre tus metas—yo fui directa sobre mis planes y ellos fueron comprensivos * Pregúntales quién está trabajando en tus cuentas, cuántas horas-hombre están dedicando realmente a promocionarte. Descubrí que mi agencia podía conseguirme más de 100 nuevos seguidores REALES al día, lo cual fue una locura, y realmente ayudó a aumentar las vistas en las cuentas.

Si apenas estás empezando como yo estaba, definitivamente busca agencias que ofrezcan salarios base. Esa estabilidad financiera mientras construyes tu plataforma es invaluable.

Encontrando Mi Nicho: Cómo Descubrí Mi Punto Fuerte

Encontrar mi nicho fue un viaje de autodescubrimiento:

Siguiendo Mi Pasión

Siempre he sido una gran gamer—comencé a jugar videojuegos cuando era solo una niña y nunca paré. También me enamoré del cosplay en mi adolescencia, pasando incontables horas creando disfraces detallados de mis personajes favoritos de juegos. Cuando comencé a crear contenido, fue natural enfocarme en estas pasiones.

Comencé haciendo streaming de gameplay en Twitch y publicando fotos de cosplay en Instagram. Esa pasión me mantuvo durante la fase de crecimiento lento—estaba creando contenido que genuinamente disfrutaba incluso cuando la audiencia era pequeña. Hay algo especial en conectar con personas que comparten tu amor por juegos o personajes específicos.

A medida que mi audiencia creció y me sentí más cómoda, comencé a incorporar contenido de cosplay más sensual que eventualmente me llevó a OnlyFans. Descubrí que podía crear versiones más atrevidas de disfraces de personajes que mis suscriptores realmente apreciaban, mientras mantenía mis plataformas públicas más mainstream.

Mi entusiasmo genuino por el gaming y el cosplay se transmite en mis videos, lo que creo que me ayudó a conectar con los espectadores. La gente puede notar cuando estás genuinamente emocionada por un nuevo lanzamiento de juego o orgullosa de un disfraz en el que pasaste semanas trabajando versus simplemente seguir tendencias.

Cómo Evalué Mi Nicho

Consideré varios factores al refinar mi nicho: * Potencial de monetización: El contenido de suscripción tiene fuertes ingresos directos * Nivel de competencia: El espacio está saturado pero siempre hay lugar para voces auténticas * Mi nivel de comodidad: Solo creo contenido con el que me siento bien * Potencial de crecimiento: Podía ver caminos para expandir mi contenido con el tiempo * Sostenibilidad del contenido: Podía crear contenido consistentemente en esta área sin quemarme

Encontrando Tu Propio Nicho

Si estás luchando por encontrar tu nicho, este es mi consejo: * Intenta crear diferentes tipos de contenido y ve qué se siente más natural para ti * Presta atención a qué publicaciones funcionan mejor—tu audiencia te dirá qué resuena * Considera qué te hace única—tu personalidad, estilo o perspectiva * Recuerda que tu nicho puede evolucionar—comencé más general y gradualmente encontré mi voz específica

Navegando la Compensación: Cosas Gratis vs. Trabajo Pagado

¡Este es un tema tan importante con el que muchos creadores luchan!

Mi Fase de "Cosas Gratis"

Cuando comencé, estaba emocionada de recibir productos gratis a cambio de publicaciones. Recuerdo hacer una sesión de fotos completa para un traje de baño que costaba $1,000 pesos—me tomó 3 horas crear el contenido, editarlo y publicarlo. ¡Mirando atrás, eso definitivamente estaba subvalorando mi trabajo!

En cuanto a oportunidades de viaje, acepté una estadía "gratuita" en un hotel al principio de mi carrera que requería 5 publicaciones de Instagram, 10 historias y 2 TikToks. La habitación del hotel habría costado unos $4,000 pesos por noche, pero la cantidad de contenido que solicitaron le habría costado a una marca decenas de miles de pesos. ¡Aprendí mi lección!

Cómo Valoro Mi Trabajo Ahora

Ahora considero múltiples factores al evaluar la compensación: * Mi tiempo (incluyendo planificación, grabación, edición y publicación) * Mi alcance de audiencia y tasas de engagement * Derechos de uso del contenido (¿es solo para mis canales o pueden reutilizarlo?) * Costo de oportunidad (¿qué trabajo pagado estoy rechazando para hacer esto?)

He desarrollado una tarjeta de tarifas con diferentes opciones de paquetes, y soy transparente sobre mis expectativas desde el principio de cualquier negociación.

Cuándo Todavía Considero Compensación No Monetaria

Todavía ocasionalmente acepto experiencias como compensación parcial, pero solo cuando: * Es algo que genuinamente quiero hacer personalmente * La marca tiene un prestigio significativo que mejora mi portafolio * Las oportunidades de contenido son únicas y valiosas * Los entregables solicitados son razonables para el valor proporcionado

Por ejemplo, recientemente acepté un intercambio parcial con un hotel de lujo en Bali porque ya estaba planeando visitar, la propiedad era impresionante para contenido, y solo solicitaron entregables razonables mientras también proporcionaban un pago en efectivo.

Mis Estrategias de Negociación

He aprendido algunas tácticas de negociación efectivas: * Siempre contrarrestar la primera oferta—típicamente empiezo 30% más alto que mi tarifa deseada real * Ofrecer opciones de paquetes a diferentes precios * Negociar cuidadosamente los derechos de uso—cobro significativamente más si las marcas quieren usar mi contenido en sus canales * Estar dispuesta a alejarme de oportunidades que no valoran mi trabajo apropiadamente

Señales de Alerta Que Vigilo

He aprendido a reconocer estas señales de advertencia: * Marcas que enfatizan la "exposición" como el beneficio principal * Solicitudes de contenido excesivo a cambio de compensación mínima * Términos vagos sobre el uso del contenido * Presión para aceptar ofertas rápidamente sin tiempo para revisar detalles

Recuerda que tu influencia tiene un valor monetario real para los negocios—no te están haciendo un favor al trabajar contigo; es una transacción comercial que debería beneficiar a ambas partes de manera justa.

¡Espero que compartir mi viaje personal te ayude a navegar tu propio camino en el mundo de influencers y OnlyFans! Recuerda que la experiencia de cada persona es diferente, y lo que funcionó para mí podría no ser exactamente lo adecuado para ti. Confía en tus instintos, mantente auténtica y sigue creando contenido del que estés orgullosa. ¡Tú puedes! 💕

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tumble-d-wumble-phd · 11 months ago

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I've never watched any kind of (q?)smp, honestly. I think Schlatt did a home inspection in one, but it seemed like a more casual server. I know some have lore. Some have Lore. Some have babies. Some have demons and angels and clones and kidnappings and canonical death in a game where you respawn so I don't understand how that works I jump off cliffs all the time that just seems CRUEL. I've seen your posts. I have been... intrigued, but some have Captain Sparkles, and I don't know if I could ever take that man seriously. No offense to the jester, but there's bells on his hat.

However, I do have a barely-functioning realm server that I share with my boyfriend. We have fun skins, we build cool (for us) stuff, and we generally play at a pretty slow pace. Both of us were the sorts of players drug behind our Gamer(tm) friends. By the time we had enough diamonds to afford a good pickaxe, another was skimming through the Nether for "rich piggies". By the time we could get out of our mines or elaborate little builds, it was pointless; we'd be under-armed in an End battle while buddies in enchanted armor humored you enough to allow you the last hit... sometimes.

We play at a slow pace. We also play how WE like. That means that I started the server so that, when you die, you keep your inventory and xp. Eventually, after many frustrations with Creepers who definitely spawn WAY more than they used to, I disabled their explosions. Fire still lets me interact on fair grounds with my frenemy mangrove, but the creepers just sorta... poof. Maybe ouch ya. On one last, completely unsurprising, note, we play on Easy mode.

On this admittedly baby-mode server, we've built some pretty cool stuff! Our first home together was The Log Cabin, which I've only burned down once (well, three times, but once to any significant extent). Our spawn wasn't great, but we found this lovely oasis, an enclave full of sheep and flowers. An enclave, surrounded on all sides by mangrove trees. Their wood (and saplings, supplying trees for the backyard and reforestation) all went to our home. My bf was on construction, while I did.. a lot of stuff. Mostly lighting fires. The Log Cabin displays proudly a peculiar wealth we've collected: lapis lazuli. It's my favorite gemstone, and we have SO MUCH of it. EVERYWHERE. Our road of Lapis leads to the desert.

It *directly* leads to a LONG.

AND I MEAN LONG.

Mangrove bridge.

But eventually.

There's a desert.

Trust me.

You'll see it soon.

Ignore Hell, Michigan along the way.

You did it!

Metaphorically, I mean.

Anyway.

I like to write little stories for myself, all the time. Sometimes they are very mean or devious, and people call that anxiety. Sometimes they tell me there is a devil in the desert. At *first*, though, my boyfriend suggested we turn the desert fountain into a burn pit. I was going to build an oasis around that fountain, but it had already crossed me by not having loot. Iron bars and fire pit it was. I decided to, instead, build an artificial oasis, but a little different. I made it look miraculous, but natural.

It was unnatural. Startlingly unnatural. Its construction killed the local fauna, and I burned their useless skins. I introduced grass and I cheered as I watched it grow. I made acacia trees grow on soil I introduced to this particular patch of sand. When some of the dirt didn't give me grass, I placed moss. I introduced *sea*grass to the water. Nothing could escape my grass wrath. I blocked off ALL view of Hell, Michigan. If it was in my line of sight, I couldn't help but see it.

I was unwanted here. I was unappreciated here. I was destructive here. I was colonizing, unkindly. What I valued was, largely, what I brought. I was not "bettering" or "beautifying" the land. I was visually an aberration, an flea from a foreign land flung on the long bridge past Hell (, Michigan) itself to eat and alter.

My little story said that something in the fire pit let me do this. There was a treasure after all! That first rejection, in a series of rejections: of sand, of rabbits, of even my line of sight as I sat in my perfect "desert" cabana. I imagined myself throwing so many stacks of material in that flame, for hours and hours and hours. Some was gold armor. Raw meat was tossed in along spider eyes.

"Whatever you would like, sweet fire. Let the grass spread and the trees grow, and every day you will eat bounty."

My side bar tells me the fire crackles.

I assume with delight.

Should this all go in our favors, I think I'll offer steak.

And that, alongside many other things, inspired me to build a new shrine for the devil in the desert. An altar that would lead our little family to the upper mid-game we'd never truly achieved.

There is an elephant.

I am aware.

There is Hell right at our doorstep.

All of that is naturally generated. Including the stone floating arrow. Its magma blocks glow gently in the night.

I would offer a better caption, but I cannot. I tried.

It's so much more haunting at night, but minecraft screenshotting sucks.

How can I not make Hell and Hell sister cities?

There's a devil in the desert, and he will neatly connect our cow-less kingdom to cows and then we get enchantments and then we get nether portal fast travel and then we get to the End and then we WIN!

I'll do it to win.

#minecraft #smps #Dungeon Meshi #in an extremely roundabout way #may write a fanfiction about this #This is part fanfic #Mostly a daydream #Is this anything?#Hell #Hell michigan bbi #Will preserve #Not the desert tho #Gotta have me green patch #Upheld by hellfire and sacrifice

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riversbobsburgersobsession · 2 years ago

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My Favourite Bob’s Burgers Episodes (seasons 1-13)

This list will be updated whenever there are new episodes.

Season 1

Episode 2 - Crawl Space - funny

Episode 3 - Sacred Cow (funny)

Episode 4 - Sexy Dance Fighting (funny)

Episode 5 - Hamburger Dinner Theatre (funny)

Episode 6 - Sheesh! Cab, Bob? (funny)

Episode 7 - Bed & Breakfast (funny)

Episode 8 - Art Crawl (funny)

Episode 12 - Lobsterfest (funny)

Season 2

Episode 1 - The Belchies (funny)

Episode 2 - Bob Day Afternoon (funny)

Episode 4 - Burgerboss (funny)

Episode 5 - Food Truckin’ (funny)

Episode 6 - Dr Yap (funny)

Episode 7 - Moody Foodie (funny)

Episode 8 - Bad Tina (funny + siblings)

Season 3

Episode 1 - Ear-sy Rider (funny)

Episode 2 - Full Bars (funny)

Episode 3 - Bob Fires The Kids (funny)

Episode 4 - Mutiny On The Windbreaker (funny)

Episode 7 - Tinarannosaurus Wrecks (funny)

Episode 8 - The Unbearable Like-Likeness Of Gene (siblings)

Episode 11 - Nude Beach (funny)

Episode 13 - My Fuzzy Valentine (funny)

Episode 14 - Lindapendent Woman (funny)

Episode 15 - O.T.: The Outside Toilet (funny)

Episode 16 - Topsy (siblings)

Episode 17 - Two For Tina (funny + love triangle situation + jealousy)

Episode 21 - Boys 4 Now (siblings)

Episode 22 - Carpe Museum (funny)

Episode 23 - The Unnatural (funny)

Season 4

Episode 1 - The River Runs Through Bob (funny + siblings)

Episode 3 - Seaplane! (funny)

Episode 5 - Turkey In A Can (funny)

Episode 7 - Bob & Deliver (funny & family)

Episode 8 - Christmas In The Car (funny)

Episode 9 - Slumber Party (funny + siblings)

Episode 11 - Easy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercial (funny + siblings + family)

Episode 13 - Mazel Tina (funny + siblings)

Episode 18 - Ambergris (funny + siblings)

Episode 21 - Wharf Horse (funny + siblings)

Season 5

Episode 2 - Tina & The Real Ghost (funny + siblings)

Episode 3 - Friends With Burger-Fits (funny)

Episode 4 - Dawn Of The Peck (funny)

Episode 7 - Tina Tailor Soldier Spy (funny + siblings)

Episode 8 - Midday Run (funny + siblings + Tina being badass)

Episode 10 - Late Afternoon In The Garden Of Bob & Louise (funny)

Episode 14 - Li’l Hard Dad (funny + siblings)

Episode 16 - The Runway Club (funny + siblings)

Episode 17 - The Itty Bitty Ditty Committee (funny)

Episode 19 - Housetrap (funny)

Episode 21 - The Oeder Games (funny + Tina & Zeke & Jimmy Jr)

Season 6

Episode 2 - The Land Ship (funny + siblings)

Episode 6 - The Cook, The Steve, The Gayle & Her Lover (funny + siblings)

Episode 8 - Sexy Dance Healing (funny)

Episode 9 - Sacred Couch (funny)

Episode 10 - Lice Things Are Lice (funny)

Episode 17 - The Horse Rider-Er (funny + family)

Episode 18 - Glued, Where’s My Bob? (funny)

Season 7

Episode 2 - Sea Me Now (funny + siblings + family)

Episode 3 - Teen-a Witch (funny + siblings)

Episode 4 - They Serve Horses, Don’t They? (funny + siblings)

Episode 6 - The Quirk-Ducers (siblings)

Episode 8 - Ex Machtina (funny + siblings)

Episode 9 - Bob Actually (funny + Tina & Jimmy Jr)

Episode 11 - A Few ‘gurt Men (funny)

Episode 13 - The Grand Mama-pest Hotel (funny)

Episode 15 - Ain’t Miss Debatin’ (funny)

Episode 16 - Eggs For Days (funny)

Episode 20 - Mom, Lies & Videotape (funny)

Episode 21 - Paraders Of The Lost Float (funny)

Episode 22 - Into The Mild (funny)

Season 8

Episode 1 - Brunchsquatch (funny)

Episode 2 - Silence Of The Louise (funny)

Episode 3 - The Wolf Of Wharf Street (funny)

Episode 4 - Sit Me Baby One More Time (funny)

Episode 5 - Thanks-Hoarding (funny)

Episode 6 - The Bleakening Part 1 (funny)

Episode 7 - The Bleakening Part 2 (funny)

Episode 8 - V for Valentine-Detta (funny + family)

Episode 11 - Sleeping With The Frenemy (funny)

Episode 12 - The Hurt Soccer (funny)

Episode 13 - Cheer Up, Sleepy Gene (funny)

Episode 14 - The Trouble With Doubles (funny)

Episode 15 - Go Tina On The Mountain (funny + siblings)

Episode 18 - As I Walk Through The Valley Of The Shadow Of Ramps (funny + siblings)

Episode 19 - Mo Mommy Mo Problems (funny + siblings)

Episode 20 - Mission Impos-slug-ble (funny + siblings)

Episode 21 - Something Old, Something New, Something Bob Caters For You (funny)

Season 9

Episode 2 - The Taking Of Funtime One Two Three (funny)

Episode 5 - Live & Let Fly (funny)

Episode 6 - Bobby Driver (funny)

Episode 7 - I Bob Your Pardon (funny)

Episode 8 - Roller? I Hardly Know Her! (funny)

Episode 9 - UFO No You Didn’t (funny + siblings)

Episode 11 - Lorenzo’s Oil? No, Linda’s (funny)

Episode 12 - The Helen Hunt (funny)

Episode 14 - Every Which Way But Goose (funny + siblings)

Episode 15 - The Fresh Princ-ipal (funny)

Episode 16 - Roamin’ Bob-iday (funny)

Episode 17 - What About Blob? - funny

Episode 19 - Long Time Listener, First Time Bob - funny

Episode 20 - The Gene Mile - funny + Tina being a badass

Episode 21 - PTA It Ain’t So - funny

Episode 22 - Yes Without My Zeke - funny + Tina being funny/badass

Season 10

Episode 1 - The Ring (but not scary) - funny

Episode 2 - Boys Just Wanna Have Fungus - funny

Episode 7 - Land Of The Loft - funny

Episode 8 - Now We’re Not Cooking With Gas - funny

Episode 9 - All That Gene (funny)

Episode 10 - Have Yourself A Maily Linda Christmas (funny + siblings)

Episode 13 - Three Girls & A Little Wharfy (funny)

Episode 15 - Yurty Rotten Scoundrels (funny) (“I miss Tina”)

Episode 16 - Flat Top-O’ The Morning To Ya (funny) (“I hate all of you, except maybe Tina”)

Episode 18 - Tappy Tappy Tappy Tap Tap Tap (funny)

Episode 21 - Local She-ro (funny)

Season 11

Episode 1 - Dream A Little Bob Of Bob (funny)

Episode 2 - Worms Of In-Rear-Ment (funny)

Episode 4 - Heartbreak Hotel-Oween (funny + siblings)

Episode 6 - Bob Belcher and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Kids (funny + siblings)

Episode 10 - Yachty Or Nice (funny)

Episode 12 - Die Card, Or Card Trying (funny)

Episode 13 - An Incon-wheelie-ent Truth (funny)

Episode 14 - Mr Lonely Farts (funny)

Episode 15 - Sheshank Redemption (funny)

Episode 16 - Y Tu Tina Tambien (funny + siblings)

Episode 17 - Fingers-loose (funny + siblings)

Episode 18 - Fender Benderful (funny)

Episode 19 - Bridge Over Troubled Rudy (funny + siblings)

Episode 20 - Steal Magazine-olias (funny + siblings)

Episode 21 - Tell Me Dumb Thing Good (funny)

Season 12

Episode 1 - Manic Pixie Crap Show (funny)

Episode 2 - Crystal Mess (funny)

Episode 3 - The Pumpkinening (funny)

Episode 4 - Big Dummy (funny)

Episode 5 - Seven-Tween Again (funny)

Episode 6 - Beach, Please (funny)

Episode 7 - Lost In Bedslation (funny)

Episode 8 - Stuck In The Kitchen With You (funny)

Episode 9 - FOMO You Didn’t (funny + siblings)

Episode 10 - Gene’s Christmas Break (funny)

Episode 11 - Touch Of Eval(uations) - funny

Episode 12 - Ferry on My Wayward Bob & Linda (funny)

Episode 13 - Frigate Me Knot (funny)

Episode 14 - Video Killed The Gene-io Star (funny + siblings)

Episode 15 - Ancient Misbehavin’ (funny)

Episode 16 - Interview with a Pop-Pop-Pire (funny)

Episode 17 - Spider House Rules (funny)

Episode 18 - Clear and Present Ginger (funny)

Episode 19 - A-Sprout A Boy (funny)

Episode 20 - Sauce Side Story (funny)

Episode 21 - Some Like It Bot Part 1: Eighth Grade (funny + siblings + family)

Episode 22 - Some Like It Bot Part 2: Judge-Bot Day (funny + siblings + family)

Season 13

Episode 1 - To Bob, or Not To Bob (funny + siblings)

Episode 2 - The Reeky Lake Show (funny)

Episode 4 - Comet-Y Of Errors (funny)

Episode 5 - So You Stink You Can Dance (funny + Tina and Zeke)

Episode 8 - Putts-giving (funny + siblings + “I miss Tina”)

Episode 11 - Cheaty Cheaty Bang Bang (funny + siblings)

Episode 12 - Oh Row You Didn’t (funny)

Episode 13 - Stop! Or My Mom Will Sleuth! (funny)

Episode 14 - These Boots Were Made For Stalking (funny)

Episode 15 - The Show (and Tell) Must Go On (funny + siblings)

Episode 16 - What a (April) Fool Believes (funny)

Episode 17 - Crows Encounters Of The Bird Kind (funny)

Episode 18 - Gift Card or Buy Trying (funny + siblings)

Episode 20 - Radio No You Didn’t (funny)

Episode 21 - Mother Author Laser Pointer (funny)

#bob’s burgers

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