#Merc fic

[totothewolff]

📁 Masterlist > My Toto Wolff & Sewis fics └👤 Other profiles: AO3 / Discord / Wattpad

[📚Multichapter][⏳Long read]

Season of Love

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨Toto x reader(fem team principal)][💘Romance][🥵Smut][😂Comedy][😪Drama][🏎F1 World/Races/Teams/Paddock][✍️WIP]

Summary: One night on a pier in Monaco, while admiring the sea under the night skies, you tell Toto: "I came to the conclusion that love is simply not meant for me." That's the answer to a question you have been asking yourself for the longest time. But what if he proved you wrong? Author's note: This is a multichapter Toto Wolff x team principal reader fic set along a season of F1. It's a very immersive story full of drivers, team dynamics, races, mystery, and smut. You just bought the Williams team, but nobody really knows who you truly are. 📁 Masterlist: └📁 Dances with Wolff Arc └📁 1 Engines on and hearts off! └📁 2 Lights out, and away your feelings go! └📁 3 Can you feel the traction? └📁 4 No brakes, just love! └📁 5 Cold tires, warm heart └📁 6 Collision at Turn "Your Heart" └📁 The Color of Truth is Blue Arc └📁 7 Red flagsss └📁 8 Safety car needed └📁 The Sebaffäre Arc └📁 9 Coming soon... └📁 10 Coming soon... └📁 Love Lies, Miss Normani Arc └📁 11 Coming soon... └📁 Dances with Wolff Arc └📁 12 Coming soon... └📁 13 Coming soon... └📁 14 Coming soon...

Chemtrails Over the Yacht Club Collection

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto x reader(fem service staff)][💘 Romance][🥵Smut][🎀 Age-gap][❤️‍🔥Daddy Kink][🛳Yacht Culture][✍️WIP]

Summary: Toto Wolff is a name often mentioned at the Yacht Club, where you work after classes. For some reason, you have always pictured him as an old crank like the usual members, not this foxy man who arrives at the reception making your knees quiver.  The entire staff goes frenetic as he, one of the Club's most important clients, chooses to spend his spring break there without previous notice. You pray to the Gods that you don't cross lines with him since your entire livehood depends on this job, and you really want to graduate college. 📁 Collection: └📁 1 Dark But Just A Game └📁 2 Breaking Up Slowly └📁 3 Not All Who Wander Are Lost └📁 4 Dance Till We Die └📁 5 White Dress └📁 6 Let Me Love You Like a Woman

Grand Prix Elite Academy

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto(professor) x reader(student, future F1 driver)][👨‍❤️‍👨Lewis x Seb][💘Romance][🥵Smut][🎀Age-gap][❤️‍🔥Wild parties][🏫College AU][🌈Queer/Fem Seb][✍️WIP]

Summary: Your life turns 180 degrees after receiving your acceptance letter for the Grand Prix Elite Academy, the most exclusive and prestigious Formula One College, designed to shape the future drivers of the motorsport world. You will try to navigate your new life among the Monaco elites, survive the campus dynamics and rivalries between the faculties, and try to win this year's Elite Cup to beat an undefeated Mercedes, all while befriending your eclectic classmates, join the wild parties, have a couple of make-outs under the racing circuit benches, lose your v-card and get over that stupid crush you have on professor Toto. Will you make it alive to graduation? Race to Greatness! Author's note: This is a Formula One college AU fic set in an elite academy in Monaco, where the F1 Teams are Faculties, their Team Principals are professors, the FIA is the college board, and all the grid drivers are your classmates. You are accepted under a scholarship program called WomenOne and have lots to catch on to after years of putting your racing dreams on hold. Becoming the outcast new girl is always challenging, especially when all of you live on one campus. 📁 Masterlist: └📁 1 Hi, Society! └📁 2 Gone With The Wolff └📁 3 Know Your Frenemies └📁 4 The Kids Are Not Alright └📁 5 The Twat and the Furious └📁 6 Panic Roomate └📁 7 Easy Y/N └📁 8 War of the Rosbergs └📁 9 …Baby? One More Time! └📁 10 She Wolff

[📚One-shots][⏳Long read]

I'll Be Home for Christmas

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto x reader][🥵Smut][❤️‍🔥Mild BDSM][👄Dom/Sub][🎄Christmas]

Summary: Toto asks you in between ravenous kisses if you truly want him, even with his busy schedule, fast-paced life, countless nights miles away, and his dominant trait, the one you love to be submissive to, by saying yes you didn't expect it to be this hard! This particular season felt eternal, and you only desire to have him back, wrapped as the world's most alluring Christmas gift on your bed if possible. └📁 One-shot

Sparks Fly

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto x reader][🥵Smut][❤️‍🔥Daddy Kink][🎆New Years]

Summary: Toto is ready to leave his shitty 2023 behind and start 2024 in the best way possible, and you don't want to spend another New Year's Eve all by yourself; it's like destiny and the universe conspired to bring you two together. └📁 One-shot

The Lonely Hearts Party

[👩‍❤️‍👨Toto(boss) x reader(fem merc employee)][💘Romance][😊Fluff] [😂Comedy][🗄Corporate Mercedes][💝Valentine's Day]

Summary: For weeks now, you have been receiving the most gorgeous flowers every Wednesday morning at your desk at the Brackley Headquarters, as a mysterious admirer seems so in love with you. The entire factory, your besties at work, and you all wonder who he is. Could it be the one you truly wish for? └📁 One-shot

The Big Slip

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨Toto x reader (fem middle class artist)][💘Romance][🥵Smut][😪Drama][🕵️‍♂️Secret Identity][💸Social gap][🪐AU]

Summary: Your life as a struggling arts graduate in Monaco, coming from a working-class family who lives on the outskirts, is about to change. Toto Wolff enters your life not only by giving you the best sex ever but also by making you love somebody for the first time. Arranged marriages, a horrible breakup, and an induced coma, plus his terrible parents, were a complete surprise. └📁 One-shot

The Speed Game of Love

[👩‍❤️‍👨Toto x reader(fem contestant)][💘Romance][😂Comedy][🪐AU][🤪Crack humor][🌈RuPaul's Drag Race][💫Short read]

Summary: Three fierce queens will race for your love, but only one will win your heart. Could it be the spicy Carla LaTurbo Slayz, the fierce Adore D. Hammer, or the queen of England herself, GiGi Reigns? Or maybe that sexy host could get some! Hosted by the hot and only Toto Wolff. └📁 One-shot

Daddy's Little Pet

[🗯+18][👩‍❤️‍👨 Toto x reader(journalist)][🥵Smut][❤️‍🔥Daddy Kink][🎀Size Kink][👄Power play]

Summary: You had come to Brackley expecting a generic interview, not a deep dive into Toto's lovemaking life. └📁 One-shot

[🚎Coming soon...][✍️WIPs]

Join us at The Wolff Pack Discord Server > https://discord.com/invite/tpgArxqbfd

It’s Murder on the Garagefloor

boss!Toto x reader Merc!employee | crack au (Clue bang), comedy, romance and mystery.

Summary: His wife, one of his drivers, an engineer, his mentor, and you (Toto's assistant) all look at the body on the floor. Is the boss really gone? Loose inside this locked garage is the murderer. Who of you killed Toto Wolff? And why?!

└📁 Coming soon...

A mile-an-hour

Boss!Toto x reader merc!employee | comedy, crack (the office bang), romance, fluff.

Summary: Getting hired on the Mercedes-AMG PETRONAS F1 Team from the thousands of applicants seemed like the pinnacle of your career and a privilege. Such a prestigious and life-changing opportunity until you arrive there… Smoke is flooding the garage, Lewis is dressed exactly like George in casual clothing for some reason, and Niki plays sad Taylor Swift songs on the piano. At the same time, engineers try to catch a loose Roscoe throwing stuff everywhere. Why is even a piano in here?! Oh! And you almost forgot, Toto Wolff is crying inside his office.

└📁 Coming soon...

Fast Car

driver!Toto x driver reader | teammates dynamic, past lovers, young toto, drama, romance.

There was a time when he used to be your everything. Since childhood, you two shared a dream of one day becoming F1 drivers. Miles away from your families, you grew up only having each other, racing and experiencing life side by side. The short step from friends to lovers left natural, but the following step from F1 drivers to becoming enemies deeply scarred you. When your ambitious team offers Toto the open seat, well aware of his reckless and wild reputation, you wonder if the sweet guy you fell in love with is still hiding inside that ruthless, don juan, cold-hearted two-time world champion. It's going to be a hell of a season for you.

Cursed to Love

+18 | Lewis Hamilton x Sebastian Vettel, sewis | fantasy, witchcraft, lore, period, drama, romance, smut, pinning, epic, war, violence.

[fishermanshook]

F!CK BOYS GONE SOFT

( mercenary , batter & prospector ) + gn!reader

# MINOR WRITING SMUT , #ihatewritingdialouge , grammar and spelling warning

INTRO

It was a mutual agreement between the both of you that you were fucking for the pure reason of letting off steam after being stuck in this hell hole. 

No feelings were supposed to be caught. No hearts were meant to be thawed. And yet, they find themselves yearning for your touch long after your last session.

꒰wc꒱ 1.7k ( longest fic so far !! )

✦— THE MERCENARY

If being between your legs was where he wished to be, then who were you to deny him access to the most private part of your body? Where Naib works his magic and milks you of your essence while paying you back in waves of pleasure.

The Mercenary looks so lost in his work that you think he doesn’t notice the change in pitch. That you’ve adjusted your grip on his hair to a softer, gentler hold. Your moans are light, airy, and not at all the ones that left your throat hoarse and raspy the night before. No, that can’t be right. And it doesn’t take him long before he finds the spot that pushes you over. The spot that has your back arching off the mattress. The spot that has you screaming his name like it’s going out of style.

And god does pleasure look good on you, as Naib refuses to remove his eyes from you as he watches the aftermath of you coming undone in front of him. Such a passionate and intimate thing for his eyes and his eyes only as your essence coats his hands and tongue. To think he’d pull his head away after you came is just stupid. Have you not learned from previous sessions? You coming only gives him more reason to drop down there and give you more, but Naib holds himself back.

The next few moments are a blur as you try to calm down after your orgasm, but it seems Naib won’t let you. The sound of something being unzipped and his pants hitting the floor pulls you from your recovery. He’s prepped you enough, hasn’t he?

“It’ll hurt a little, but only for a second.” The Mercenary whispers in your ear as a warning to brace for what’s about to come. It makes him wonder, and only for a split second, if you ever realized how much he loves you. The amount of thought and care that goes into every move he makes towards you. Maybe you’re just dense, or maybe it’s not like that. He won’t know until he tells you. Or, until you tell him.

Your hands rush to clamp themselves over your mouth in an attempt to stifle the moans flooding from it. This isn’t the first time you’ve done this (and certainly not the last…), but it’s always a tight fit. A tight fit that neither of you can get enough of. Your hands don’t last though, as the Mercenary is quick to rip your hands away from your mouth. He shakes his head and clicks his tongue. You don’t need him to say anything else.

It’s not long before you feel the familiar warmth strengthen between your legs. By now, Naib’s memorized your every tell that you’re going to come. By the way your legs tighten around his waist and the way your hands reach to clasp his biceps to try and hold on. It’s the way you attempt to not pass out when you feel everything just snap.

“God, I love you so much,” Naib admits before even realizing what he just said. You’ve never seen the man freeze so fast, or go so red. Before his hands cover his mouth you pin his wrists down to the bed.

“Wait—! H-hold on,” you say, still recovering from your orgasm that happened just seconds ago. “What did you say?”

The Mercenary stares at you before opening his mouth to say: “I didn’t say anything.” He’s trying to play it with a convincing tone in his voice, but it’s hard to believe when he practically shouts it.

“No, Naib,” you huff out “Are you playing me?” You question. Your face molds into worry and concern. Instead, he avoids your gaze. There’s nothing else for him to do in this situation is there.

“Fine. If you won’t say it, then I will.” You state before grabbing Naibs face and pressing it into yours. The Mercenary tries (and he really does) to do anything but melt into your touch. In the end, it proves to be no use. Pulling away, you say: “Naib, there is no one else I love more than you.”

“Thanks for confirming what I already know, babe.”

✦— THE BATTER

Not every affair starts with a heated make-out session, but every heated make-out session ends with the two of you having sex. With your lips entwined as your fingers roam through his hair, the two of you make a mad dash to whoever’s room is closer as playful giggles slip out along the way.

It started as just another way to let yourself go and cut loose a little after another night of terror from Ganji. How could you not tell that the Batter saw you as more than just some fuck buddy? That his eyes weren’t only filled with lust, but love for you and you entirely?

Maybe this can be his way of showing you, whether you get it or not. Whether you understand the soft kisses he lays on your chest. Whether you understand the praises that fall from his lips. Whether you understand it's taken him too long to finally muster up the courage to confess to you.

You’ve stripped each other of your clothes leaving both of you bare naked. The only thing covering you are the multiple hickeys decorating your chest as well as between your legs. The pleasure overrides any pain felt from when he initially pushed his way inside of you. Before you know it, you're babbling all over his cock while he presses gentle kisses all over your face. You look so cute like this—all flushed out and pink.

Ganji's smart, but overlooks your cock drunkenness and traces his finger along your jaw and other places. Eventually, his finger meets your back and traces along your spine. His finger does weird swoops along your backside. It's all just a simple way of telling you 'I love you.' without having to utter a word.

Maybe it's the way you moan out his name as your hips move up and down on his cock. Or maybe it's the look in your eyes when he meets them. The Batter's not sure where the courage comes from, but all he knows is that he can't stand another moment of you not being his.

"[name] I- fuck, I love you." He barely manages to grunt out, snapping you from your thoughts to look at him with wide eyes.

"What-?"

It's then he thinks he fucked up. That he has demolished all of the hard work he put into this relationship. This is it. This is the end of your bond.

"No, shit I'm sorry just forget what I said," Ganji mutters out, immediately flipping you over so that your lying down on your back. "I'll make you come real hard if you just forget everything I just said, 'k?" Ganji says with caution in his voice. Maybe you're not the only one oblivious in this relationship of yours.

"Really? You love me?"

Ganji tears his eyes away from wherever he is looking at looks right at you. "Yeah. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. If not for you I don't think I'd ever get the chance to say this," you chimed, pulling him in for a long and passionate kiss first. "Ganji, I love you more than the stars themselves."

✦— THE PROSPECTOR 

The bed will break long after the Prospector, Norton Campbell, has had his way with you. He won’t stop until his sheets are soaked in your combined essences until your scent has been embedded into his mattress, and until he can get the words out to tell you how he feels.

For too long has Norton been labeled as your “fuck buddy” and he wants out of it. Every round feels like another chance to prove he’s perfect for you. How many people know your favorite book? Your favorite place to relax? Your favorite position? The sensitive spots on your body? Who else knows exactly where to touch and what to say? All he needs you to answer is if you like him or not.

“Shit—always feel so good,” Norton manages to grunt out after thrusting into you. He knows he’s found your sweet spot (again…) when he pulls a loud moan from your sweet lips. So attentive to your wants and needs that he can’t help but hit the spot again and again, listening as your moans grow louder with each thrust.

The Prospector mutters something under your breath he thinks went by unnoticed. Pulling you from your aroused state to ask him what’s wrong. All he can do is sigh and shake his head as his arms wrap around you. A bit tighter than usual, but not uncomfortable.

“Norton—! What’s the matter?” You manage to huff out. It’s obvious something is plaguing his mind, but the Prospector is as stubborn as ever and refuses to tell you. “Fine then,” you tell him “I guess I just won’t let you come.”

Now that gets his attention, and he instantly slows his pace. You allow him to keep going, but only if he starts talking.

“I’m too scared to say it,” Norton states.

“Why?” You ask.

Norton looks down at where you're still connected. It’s only then you notice he’s stopped. “Because I don’t want it to ruin whatever we’ve got going on. I don’t want to lose everything.” He admits through gritted teeth.

“Do you think it’s that bad that you’d lose everything?” You ask, concern now seeping into your voice.

All he does is sigh before bringing his face closer to yours. “God, is it seriously not obvious enough? Shit, [name] I love you. I’ve loved you for a long time and I didn’t want to say anything in fear of ruining—“ he gestures using his hands to the both of you. “this. A-and I get it if you don’t want anything to do with me after this but you asked so—“

He doesn’t get to finish as you cover his lips with yours. “Silly prospector, I love you more than you could imagine.” You confess before feeling Norton melt into your kiss once more.

note: hiii fish nation…sorry about the random hiatus, it will probably happen again 😆😆😆. thank you all so much for 100+ followers! it means the absolute most to me knowing there are actually people who enjoy reading what I have to write. I wouldn’t be here without you, thank you for everything so far. 🩷🩷🩷. this is so ass oh my gosh

(2024) ©️fishermanshook — do not steal, translate, plagiarize, or repost my work on any other platform

[cspcrashing]

☠️: kurosaki. what the hell kinda shirt is this ?

🍓: i only said it would fit you, not that it would be your style. besides, it looks fine on you.

☠️: you— fuckin' whatever doc'.

🍓: you like it, don't you.

☠️: shut it.

[aperfectlylesbian]

No one — I said, no one — will be able to convince me that Isabela Merced isn't perfect to be an agathario's daughter, and I'm claiming that for my story.

Like, LOOK AT THIS:

I'm not crazy, this makes perfect sense! THOSE BIG BROWN EYES, DOE EYES!! She's very good for this role! I'm happy to have finally found an actress for my fancast.

"Ah, but Isabela Merced is already part of the MCU, she played Anya in Madame Web"

I DON'T WANNA KNOW, I DON'T CARE, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT! I'M GOING TO USE THIS FANCAST BECAUSE IN MY HEAD IT MAKES A LOT OF SENSE!

By the way, what's the fancast of your agathario OC's people? I feel like we're outnumbered because I at least don't see many people creating agathario oc's, but it would be interesting to talk about it.

-

Bonus: She looks a lot with April, I remembered that because I read a fanfic (WHICH I LOVED, BY THE WAY) of April Ludgate x Jennifer Barkley. So, author, whoever you are, this is for you <3

Updates: I FOUND THE FANFIC! It's called "checkmate!" By fqrcefields (sqyyadina)! Ugh, I loved this fanfic with all my might! If anyone knows the author's @ here on tumblr, please tag here!!

[chuhanchik]

MY CROSS-FACTION MERCS FIC DROPPED!!!!!!!

The day RED Sniper encountered a BLU Scout who was behaving so strangely that it threw him off guard, Sniper couldn't bring himself to kill him. That decision alone led him to insane discoveries that divided his life into "before" and "after".

What exactly was wrong with this Scout? Who were BLU and RED really? What other monstrosities are hidden from the mercenaries?

And what's up with the "faces"?

[aussie-bookworm]

I think my favourite flavour of Pyro dialogue in fic is stuff like this

[georgierre]

hail mary full of grace

[tfmerc]

Price's sweet little assistant walking into his office with a stake of papers in need of sighing, only for her to catch sight of blond tuffs of hair and heavy combat boots sticking out from under the Captains desk

[ummick]

oh dear i'm afraid i'm in love with him

[totothewolff]

The Speed Game of Love

Toto x reader | comedy, crack humor (RuPaul's Drag Race bang), romance, fluff.

Summary: Three fierce queens will race for your love, but only one will win your heart. Could it be the spicy Carla LaTurbo Slayz, the fierce Adore D. Hammer, or the queen of England herself, GiGi Reigns? Or maybe that sexy host could get some! Hosted by the hot and only Toto Wolff. Author's note: It's short and fun. Y/N has the hots for Toto, as usual. Who doesn't?! Enjoy! Let me know your thoughts or if you have an idea, here I am."

More Toto Wolff fics right here > Masterlist

-

From the racing capital of the world is The Speed Game of Love.

And here is your host...

The hot and only Toto Wolff.

(Opening music plays, and the camera pans over the bright and sparkling stage. Toto Wolff is standing there in fullness, tallness, and hotness, just a few steps away from you. As you peek in from behind the entrance, he is looking as sexy as you expected that man to be, dressed in a sluty tight suit, his eyes set on you for a brief second making your knees and other regions jiggle as he starts the show).

"Welcome to the Speed Game of Love. I'm your hot, I mean host! Toto Wolff." he winks at you before moving to his mark at the cue.

(Cheers, gaps, and a loud moan come from the sound effect console as Toto passes a hand on his hair and smiles big and bright straight at the pro camera).

"Let's meet tonight's lucky heartracers!" he gestures with both arms to his left.

(Cut to a shot of the competitors, each one dressed in their best sickening drag looks, all sitting in white bar stool chairs next to each other)

"It's the Queen of tracks! And hearts! Adore D. Hammer!" Toto approaches a fierce-looking queen. "Ready to smash some?" Toto raises his eyebrows as he asks.

"Oh, dear, I'm more than keen for some hammer time!" Adore answers, thrusting with her hips slowly.

She's rocking a sparkly, sluty version of the iconic jumpsuit in neon yellow and black from MC Hammer's iconic "U Can't Touch This" music video, but cinched for the gods along with really high-platform sneakers.

The jumpsuit is embellished with rhinestones and sequins that shimmer and shine under the stage lights. Adore's dreadlocks hung loose around her ears but with a glamorous, over-the-top twist.

Her makeup is bold and bright, with bold eyeliner, vibrant eyeshadow, and a shining golden lip. Her skin is glowing with a subtle shimmery highlight that makes her look like she just stepped out of a disco ball.

Toto gives her a chuckle before moving along.

"Next, Carla LaTurbo Slayz!" He strolls to her, mic in hand. "Miss Turbo, I heard you got some horsepower tonight! How are you, honey?"

(After he asks the question, a loud moan is heard as a sound effect).

"I'm 'fuel'-tastic, Toto!" she blows a kiss to the camera and shows some lil' leg.

She's rocking a stunning, one-shoulder gown made from the finest silk in a rich, jewel-toned red that evokes the majestic flamenco dancers of Andalusia. The dress is fitted and figure-hugging, accentuating her curves in all the right places.

Her hair is a masterpiece; a few strategically placed braids and hairpins add a touch of Andalusian flair.

Her eyes are lined with bold, black kohl and smudged with shimmery gold eyeshadow to create a sultry, seductive gaze. Her lips are painted a deep, crimson red. Her accessories are chunky gold jewelry.

"Up next, it's GiGi Reigns. Is Your Highness ready to conquer this race?" Toto turns to her, bowing first.

"Keen to have a smooth pit stop and a great finish!" an old lady's voice with a thick Windsor accent answers.

She is rocking a look that's equal parts regal and ridiculous. She's donning a velvet-trimmed corset and hoop skirt that's so big it requires its own zip code.

The skirt is a riot of colors, with florals and patterns. GiGi's hair is a marvel; think Elizabeth I's famous ruff but on steroids! Her locks are styled in towering curls that resemble a pompadour.

Her makeup is a masterpiece of over-the-top opulence. Layers of foundation, blush, and powder are applied with the precision of the era, but they make her look old, really old, with wrinkles adorning her features.

Her accessories are an array of fake pearls that look like they belong on the Queen herself.

"Let's start your engines! Close that pit wall!" Toto instructs as the obstructing divider slides from the wall. It looks exactly like a pit wall fence but glamorous, all in metallic pink, blocking the view from both sides.  

As you are about to enter the stage, an empty, small white podium is waiting for you.

"Our wag tonight is from (Y/N's City/Country). Meet (Y/N's profession/studies), Y/N, Y/LN!" Toto introduces you as you step in, smiling at him.

"Mmm, you look good!" Toto runs his eyes all over your body as he approaches you and offers a hand to help you step on the podium.

You feel the heat instantly.

"What brings you smoking gear around here? Did your engine overheat?" Toto addresses you, starting to lean closer to you.

"I'm just looking for touch at this point!" you answer, plain and honest.

(Aww noises come from the sound effect panel).

"Uhmmhu!" Toto gets closer to you than his mark on the floor suggests. He gestures to you to articulate more as he stands by your side, slowly sliding a hand down on your back.

How you react to his touch makes him smile naughtily.

In between a nervous giggle, you explain: "I tried the apps and whatnot, but nothing worked, so my friends suggested I come here to speed up the process. You know, to look for something accelerated, fast-paced." You wink at him, gaining confidence, feeling his eyes traveling down your lips and neck.

"Oh, so you like it fast-paced? Who doesn't like to get their flag chequered hard!" Toto keeps your game of innuendos, flirting with you along.

You nod and bite your lip; he arches his eyebrow slightly.

"Then, you came to the right place!" his voice is deep, and he flexes his arm so you can enjoy the view of his muscles as Toto grabs his mic. "So, Y/N, here's how the game works: You ask the heartracers some questions, and they will try to win this lap for your heart with their answers. When the time runs out, you choose who steps into your podium. Are you ready to race?"

"I AM!" you feel pumped up!

(Engine noises are heard in the studio, indicating the start of the lap).

You read one of your cue cards. "Heartracer number one, finish the following sentence: If I was your car to run me on a race, you would leave me (blank...) at the end."

"In desperate need of a new set of wheels. Oh! I would run you relentlessly from one side of the circuit to the other!" Adore answers, jumping on her feet and doing the iconic MC Hammer moves, passing by in front of the other contestants.

You laugh and nod at the excellent answer. "And you, number two?"

"I would leave you revving for more! You would want me to run you down over and over again around these corners." LaTurbo answers with a very sexual voice, sliding her hand all over her body curves.

"And you, madam, number three?" you ask.

"At the finish line... eventually! I'm a lady of a certain age, darling." GiGi Reigns' elderly voice answers, making you and Toto burst into giggles.

"If it was me, I would have you shifting gears so hard that I would end up breaking you down. But that's me!" Toto jokes, inserting his answer there. "Let's move on to the next question, shall we, Y/N?"

"YES! Let me push that pedal all the way in!" you joke back.

"All the way in?!" Toto asks, now curious, in a high-pitched voice. "Fast-paced and all the way in. Taking notes!" He swaps his cue cards around.

"I think that one's hammer is starting to show! Haha," GiGi Reigns adds, inserting herself into the conversation, bumping Adore with her hand, and both of them taking a small peek at Toto's crotch.

"Please, give head, go ahead, I meant!" Toto jokes with you.

"Based on yourself, how would you prefer to be called if you were a fuel brand?" you ask the contestants.

"Piston Pumping, you gotta keep the hammering for miles long!" Adore gives her answer in perfect branding.

"Fuel-in' Around, just kidding," Carla waves her hand.

"The Lube for The Crown, cause at this age, darling, you need some extra help." GiGi slowly spreads open her legs, making rusted noises, cracking you up again.

"I'd be, Fuel Me Maybe, you know, like tonight, after this show," Toto flirts shamelessly as the game progresses, making it clear that he's interested in none other than you.

"Final question," you go ahead. "Imagine you are an F1 team. Sell yourself to me."

"On the Hammerella F1 Team, competition can't touch us! We are faster than you can say parachute pants!" Adore D. Hammer answers.

"On El Toro Racing, we are unleashing the bull full speed, with fury and passion and with a whole lot of rhythm, ahhhh." Carla LaTurbo's every word gets more sexual somehow as she answers your question, her hands going all over her neck and legs.

Finally is GiGi's turn: "On the Motor on the Bus, The Queen's Royal Racing Team, we race round and round, vroom and vroom, all through the town." She pauses before adding, "But with protocol, dear."

GiGi's stupid answer makes you gag.

"Oh, time is up! Y/N, who do you choose from our heartracers? Number one, two or three?" Toto comes near to you again.

Fuck! He smells so good! That's an arousing cologne.

(A dramatic pause comes before you turn straight at him to give your definitive answer).

"You," you point at Toto. "I choose you!" answering aloud to everyone's... actually... to no one's surprise!

"I'd love to take you for some good ol' laps!" he blows a kiss to you. "But first, let's meet the ones you didn't choose! Say hello to Adore D. Hammer."

"Oh! This hammer would have broken you in half, dear!" she jokes with you as she looks you up and passes along, thrusting the air on her way out.

"and Carla LaTurbo Slayz," Toto again shouts, extending his arm.

"This," she closes her hand at you, moving it around your body, "Has red flag all over," she says, belittling you as she goes out, pretending to be insulted by you rejecting her.

"Finally, GiGi Reigns! Madam..." Toto bows one last time.

GiGi takes her time walking there, making grunt noises as she grabs her back, complaining, making you two lose it.

"I, TOO, CAN COMMAND THE WIND, SIR!" She screams out of nowhere in the most Shakespearean voice, catching you two off guard.

Like GiGi got possessed for a second before she composes herself and gives "royal hand waves" politely as she dramatically exits.

"WHHAAT?" you say, catching your breath between laughs.

"Ready to blow my engine?" Toto triumphantly asks, holding you up like a trophy as he wraps his arm around your waist.

"Against the pit wall?!" you joke around, laughing on his lips, standing next to it.

"Another Speed Game of Love with a... happy ending! To me!" Toto winks. "Good night, everybody!"

(You two wave at the lense before you wrap him in a passionate kiss as the camera cuts to black)

You don't make it further than his dressing room.

The audio crew picks up the loud moans and smashing noises coming from there, as Toto is still wired, and they quickly turn off the equipment.

Join us at The Wolff Pack Discord Server > https://discord.com/invite/tpgArxqbfd

[fishermanshook]

Tastes Like Heaven (mercenary x gn!reader)

⚠️ MINOR WRITING SMUT ‼️‼️‼️ DO NOT READ IF UNCOMFORTABLE

It’s kinda funny, ya’ know?

The cold, heartless seeming Mercenary who has killed many in the past. The one person if anyone was to fear in the manor would be him, on his knees right now in between your legs.

Laughable, isn’t it?

To be honest with you, he’s been down there for what seems like hours now. Thanks to the blinds being shut and the lights being turned off, you have had no perception of time for the past who knows how long at this point.

He’s got a bruise making grip on your thighs that he’ll have to apologize for later, but it’s only to keep you from suffocating him in between them. Only for him to keep you as still as he can while he eats you out like a starved man.

You’ve got to keep your moans low and almost non existent to make sure you don’t disturb your neighbors next door. But Naib doesn’t care about them, doesn’t care how loud you get. All he cares about is that the Survivors and Hunters or the Oletus Manor know to stay the fuck away from you. Your his and his alone, right?

Sooner or later, a knot starts to take form in your stomach. It’s familiar, and you know it all too well. So it isn’t long after until Naib’s made helped you reach your umpteenth orgasm of the night with his tongue and tongue alone. You’ve got your back arched, and your legs are sore and absolutely littered with kisses and love bites. Pure bliss spreads across your face as your body trembles in his arms. Gosh, you look so fucking hot right now is all the Mercenary can think.

Warmth continues to spread through your body, engulfing you in a hot mess that’s just too addictive for you. The sheets have been twisted and clawed at. Your essence, stained onto the covers. But Naib doesn’t mind, no not at all. Just another reminder that your his. Cause who else could make you feel this good?

What you think is the last for the night is just yet the beginning, because the Mercenary’s only job tonight is ridding your legs unusable for the next few days.

“Shit, you taste so good.” Naib pants, licking his lips. “I’ve gotta get another taste.”

note: DINNER HAS BEEN SERVED 🗣️‼️‼️‼️

(2023)©️fishermanshook — do not steal, translate, plagiarize, or repost my work on any other platform

[mischiefbuckley]

okay okay okay here me out… this is my own fan casting for who I would want as the Diaz sisters on screen like Melissa Barrera as Sophia and Isabela Merced as Adriana like does anyone else see the vision this would be everything!!!

[umseb]

"@.sebastianvettel é mais uma de suas ações legais . Depois de uma manhã com os carroceiros, catadores e recicladores ele apresenta um capacete do Senna com materiais reciclados. Legal ver um ex piloto dessa magnitude se dedicando a estas causas. Vale ficar de olho." "@.sebastianvettel is another one of his legal actions. After a morning with carters, collectors and recyclers, he presents a Senna helmet made from recycled materials. It's cool to see a former pilot of this magnitude dedicating himself to these causes. It's worth keeping an eye on." - october 31, 2024 📷 @.oficalmarianabecker / instagram

[yelenaslyubov]

Date Night Drizzles

main masterlist || requests || autumn fic list

requested by @youreatotalposer <3

a/n: welcome to my first autumn fic! i’ve never written for isabela merced before (and there’s little to no fics out there) so i hope you enjoy!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ pairing: isabela merced x reader

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ warnings: haunted house descriptions/descriptions of blood and violence, dominant but scared reader, nudity, bathing, ending with lots of cheesy fluff

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ description: you and your girlfriend plan a haunted house date together to her demise, even if it seems you’re the one who spooks in the end. at the end of the night, your date gets rained out, but that doesn’t discourage you from having a good time.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ word count: 2.1k

“Baby, where are you? You said you would be here 15 minutes ago?”

While you had been busy getting put together and dressed, your girlfriend was on her way to pick you up. She lived about 30 minutes away, but just enough time that it felt like forever.

“I’m sorry, it takes a while to look this good,” she said. It was almost like you could see that sly smile on the other side of the phone.

“Just tell me, have you even left the house yet?” It was radio silence. “Izzy, come onnnn,” you dragged.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she laughed. “If it makes you feel better, I have so many clothes to hang back up when I come back. It’s like my own personal punishment for having a fashion crisis.”

“We’re not going to Paris Fashion Week, it’s just a haunted house.”

“It’s never just anything. Everything is important when I’m with you.”

You made an ‘ick’ noise. “How about you just focus on the road and I’ll talk to you when you get here.”

“Ha ha,” she said mockingly.

“Drive safe, my love.”

“I will, I promise. I love you, byeee.” She hung up and left you smiling.

Even though you saw each other every week, there never seemed to be enough time together. It made things worse that your parents were so strict, which made it seem like there was no end in sight.

You waited about 20 minutes before you heard a horn honk outside, signaling that Isabela was waiting outside for you. Your parents didn’t approve of her much, so she usually waited outside.

When you went down the stairs, your parents looked nicely dressed and were busy gathering their things.

“Oh good, there you are,” your mother said. “Me and your father are going to a charity event so we probably won’t be home until midnight.”

“That’s fine, me and Izzy are going to the haunted house so we shouldn’t be long.” The car honked for longer this time. “I should go.”

You left the house without another word because you knew better. All of your anxiety seemed to melt away as soon as you saw Isabela sitting in the car. She smiled and your heart swelled.

“Hi, baby!” She cleared her passengers seat by throwing things in the back seat. She was never known for her organization but it suited her perfectly.

You hopped in the car and greeted your girl with a kiss. A week was too long by your standard.

“Let’s get out of here before my parents see me,” you said while buckling your seatbelt. “There’s good news though!” You looked over at her with a smirk.

“Oh god, that could mean anything,” she groaned. “What is it now?”

“The parents are going to a ‘charity event’ and they’re going to be home late.”

“A charity event? It’s literally the middle of the afternoon and they’re not going to be back until midnight?” Isabela looked at you with a confused expression. “Your parents are weird y/n, I’m not going to lie to you.”

You laughed. “Tell me something I don’t know. Did you hear me though, they’re going to be home late,” you smirked.

“You’re so dirty,” she said.

“Oh come on, not everything has to be dirty. I was simply only thinking about spending more quality time with my girl of course.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she giggled.

As you drove through your neighborhood, and the ones that followed, you admired the thoughtfully placed halloween decorations in the lawn of every yard. Even though Southern California didn’t have the exact fall feel that you yearned for, people made sure to make up for it with decorations and events.

“I still can’t believe you’re making me do this,” Isabela said. “I’m only doing it for you, I hope you know that.”

“That’s precisely why we’re going. Plus, the haunted house isn’t supposed to be that scary,” you tried to calm her nerves. You knew, in fact, that it was scary. This was the only way you could convince her to go, which was probably low on your part but you couldn’t help it.

“Only if I can hide behind you when it gets scary,” she frowned.

“Why do you think we’re going in the first place?” you joked.

The closer you got to the farm, the more nervous Isabela visibly became. You started to feel a bit bad about making her come in the first place.

“Baby, if you want to turn around, we don’t have to go.”

“No, I want to go, for you,” she explained. “Maybe it can be some kind of exposure therapy for me.” She gave you a weak smile that you didn’t believe, but she kept driving.

When you arrived, there were floods of people waiting in line. There were plenty of costumes and masked people to go around, but the two of you decided to play it safe without costumes.

The weather was humid outside, which usually meant rain was on its way. You looked to the sky to find most of it a dark gray color.

“Of course the first time it rains this season would be tonight,” Isabela complained.

“Don't worry, I’m not going to let it ruin our night,” you reassured her.

The two of you waited in line until it was finally your turn. “Tickets please,” the person at the ticket booth said. You pulled your phone out so that they may scan your tickets to let you inside. “Have a scaryyy good time” they said unenthusiastically.

You chuckled to yourself as you both walked away. “See, that may very well be the scariest thing you see tonight,” you joked.

“I hope you’re right,” Isabela laughed.

A loud clap of thunder sounded through the sky, making Isabela nearly jump out of her skin. She quickly grabbed hold of your hand and didn’t let go. You looked down to see your knuckles white as a ghost, but you didn’t mind.

The grip on your hand only tightened as you both slowly walked inside the foreboding house in front of you. You could hear the screams of others being frightened all throughout the maze of horror.

There was no denying, you seemed to be scared yourself. It was too quiet for comfort and you found yourself anticipating the worst.

The room was black and narrow but you slowly walked through together. “Are you okay?” you whispered to Isabela.

“Yeah… you?”

“I’m, uh, okay.”

Suddenly, someone dressed as a bloody zombie jumped out from the wall and yelled in your face. You and Isabela both screamed and held on tighter to one another.

The scares didn’t seem to stop as you walked on. The scarers hid in every crevice possible to try and elicit screams and frights from every willing attendee. There were skeletons, mangled dolls, beheaded people, and any other nightmares that they could conjure up.

You felt yourself shaking. “Babe, are you okay? You’re freaking out more than me, I didn’t think that was possible,” she laughed a little to herself.

“Oh yeah, I’m good. I’ve got you,” you lied through your teeth.

You hit a dead part of the haunted house, but you knew it wasn’t over just yet. You traveled towards the light where you heard the noise of chainsaws and screaming.

Now, before you, was a dimly lit room that imitated an old fashioned doctors office. There were people covered in blood that were thrashing on the tables while a psychotic looking doctor waved a chainsaw around them.

Your body recoiled and you felt like you were going to vomit. The scene had the opposite reaction for Isabela, as she started to laugh.

“This shit looks so fake,” she said while covering her mouth to chuckle.

“Yeah, hah, it’s super fake,” you lied.

“This is really scaring you huh?” Isabela said, concerned for your behavior. “Come on, let’s try and find a way out of here.”

For the rest of the journey to find the exit, you spent it covering your ears and closing your eyes. All that was left to lead you was your girlfriend who guided you as accurately as she could through the dark hallways.

You dodged scarers and props that hung in your way, and you could tell you were almost out of the hell house by the way the rain sounded as you got closer. It sounded like bullets on a tin roof and suddenly you were already drenched.

“We made it out, baby, everything’s okay,” Isabela coaxed you.

“And even better, we’re soaking wet.”

She looked at you and smiled, and you did the same back. Suddenly, you both started laughing. Something about the moment seemed both right and wrong.

Once brought out of your laughing spell, you both ran hand in hand back to the car together. You quickly sat down and turned on the heat now that you were both frozen to the bone.

“I think it’s safe to say I conquered my fear,” Isabela said with a shiver.

“Wish I could say the same,” you half-chuckled.

“But you were so brave.” Her voice dripped with sarcasm.

“Don’t mock, it was gross! I didn’t know it was going to be that violent.”

“Come on, let’s just get you home, casanova.” You gave her a light punch on the shoulder. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it!”

You shook your head and laughed. You knew she meant well, but your pride definitely hurt and your dignity was left in the haunted house.

Isabela drove back to your house while you listened to music and the rainfall hammering down on the windshield. The weather wasn’t ideal, but you had to admit it made for a cozy night after all.

Once you got home, you ensured that your parents were indeed still gone and you brought Isabela inside. You tried your best to run upstairs so as to avoid water littering the floors.

“I’ve got an idea,” you said, once entering your room. “I’ll be right back.”

You escaped to the bathroom and turned on the hot water to start running in the bathtub. You added bath salts and bubbles to the water to make it just right. In addition, you rummaged through the cabinet to find candles and lit them as well.

Once everything was perfectly arranged, you shed your clothes and eased into the water. When you were settled, you yelled for Isabela to join you in the bathroom.

As she opened the door, she smirked at you. “I told you that you’re dirty.”

“Oh come on, not even ‘romantic?’”

“Okay fine, a little romantic.” She walked over to you and trailed kisses from your forehead down to your lips.

“Now get in, it’s not going to stay warm forever.”

Isabela shivered and she quickly took her wet clothes off and left them in a heap on the floor. You reached your hand out from the water to help her in, and she gently sat down between your legs with her back to your chest.

She laid her head back against your chest with a ‘hum.’ “I think this is just what we needed,” you said.

“To see me naked?”

“Well, always, even though I meant the bath.”

“I know what you meant,” Isabela said with a guilty smirk. She tilted her head back to look at you, her big brown eyes fluttering in the dim light.

“I know the night didn’t go exactly how I planned but-”

“Shhh,” Isabela said, “it was perfect just the way it happened. I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“Now I know that’s a lie,” you laughed. “I nearly had a heart attack when that doctor cut through that guy’s stomach.”

“It was funny, I’ll admit,” Isabela laughed with you. You could feel her giggles against your body, making it the sweetest feeling in the world. “Just a thought, don’t you think it would be kind of horrifying if your parents were to come home early and find us both in the bath, naked with each other?”

You thought for a moment in silence. “You’re probably right. Why don’t we move this party to the living room?”

She nodded, and just like before, you both were out of the bath just as you had come. You gave Isabela sweatpants and a sweatshirt to borrow while her clothes were drying and you both went downstairs with a pile of blankets in hand.

You spread them out on the floor, along with pillows to lay against. You both laid down on the blanket bed you had created and got comfortable together.

Isabela took the liberty of stealing the television remote. She was perusing the channels and movie options when she gasped.

“‘Practical Magic!’ We’re totally watching this.” She clicked the play button and got comfortable against your chest.

You couldn’t imagine a greater way to spend a rainy night together, even if the events preceding put a damper on your confidence. There was no greater place to be than here, with your girl.

.

.

.

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[aussie-bookworm]

Going Through The Motions: Bonus Bits

Hi all! I'll keep this quick but we recently hit 4k hits on Going Through The Motions! I can't believe it! Thank you all for reading my silly little fic.

As thanks, I went through my cut content document and polished up these missing scenes from Chapter Four: Help. I originally wrote full scenes of Scout asking each merc for help but decided it was going to make an already long chapter too long and it was a bit repetitive so I cut it down to the basics.

These scenes take place between Scout asking Engie for help and asking Spy for help. Thank you to the lovely @gingerale13 for proofreading! Enjoy!

Demo finished his list of names on the blackboard and put a cross next to Engie’s name.

“Alright, next up is…”

***

“Heavy?” Scout asked, knocking on the man’s door. “Can we come in? I need your help.”

“Da. Just cleaning Sasha. Door is unlocked. Do not touch gun.”

Scout hesitantly opened the door to see Heavy sitting on the floor of his room, surrounded by gun parts, focused on cleaning the barrel. 

Scout shot a nervous look at Demo who nodded. 

Honestly, Scout doubted Heavy would be able to help him, but he had to make his way through the list.

“What is problem?” Heavy asked, not looking up from his task.

Scout slowly sat down, cross-legged across from him, making an effort not to touch Sasha.

How would he even explain this? Scout knew that with Heavy, you had to be blunt.

“I need your help. I’m stuck living in a loop of the same day.”

Heavy merely raised an eyebrow and continued cleaning.

“So you come to me for joke?”

Scout blinked, leaning away from Heavy.

“What? No! Nonono! Heavy it ain’t a joke! I'm actually in a time loop! Tell him Demo!”

Demo sat down next to Scout with a sigh.

“It’s all true, Heavy. Swear on my mum’s life.”

Heavy hummed to himself, as he gently placed the barrel down and started cleaning the rotor. 

“And you come to me because you have no other options.”

It was not a question, but a statement of fact.

“How did you…?”

“Little Scout would not willingly come to me for help with magic problem unless no options are available. So you come to Heavy.”

Scout bit his lip with a frown as he looked away.

Heavy was smarter than Scout gave him credit for. The team always saw him as a big gun-obsessed Russian. Maybe there was more to him than Scout originally thought.

“Yeah, but–”

“Heavy,” Demo interrupted, holding a hand out in front of Scout to shut him up. “Have you noticed anything off with Scout during the last couple of days or weeks? Or just… anything noteworthy that could change things?”

Heavy was silent as he slowly started reassembling his gun.

“Cannot think of anything. Little Scout is little Scout as always,” he eventually commented. “I have suggestions but do not think little Scout would listen.”

“Suggestions?” Scout’s ears perked up. “What do you have for me, big guy?”

Heavy sighed as he continued to skillfully put Sasha back together.

“Understand that team is looking out for little Scout and is not babying him. Understanding others’s motives is good thing for strong team, da?”

Scout sighed.

“Yeah, I know,” he responded dejectedly. “Been through enough loops of you telling me that to get it through my thick skull.”

Heavy was unperturbed.

“Team is only as strong as weakest link. When one succeeds, all succeed.”

That made sense, Scout guessed. No ‘i’ in team and all that. 

But Scout already knew this from his baseball days! How was this supposed to help?!

“Anythin’ else?”

Heavy was silent again as he finished up his assembly. Sasha stood proud in front of Scout, ready for action.

As Scout stared at the gun, Heavy finally turned his gaze over to Scout and assessed him.

“Teamwork requires communication. Speak to Sniper.”

“What?!” 

“You have been avoiding Sniper. I have seen it. Speak to Sniper.”

Scout spluttered, trying to come up with a response.

“He’s right lad,” Demo spoke up. “Even I have noticed you’re avoiding him and I’m drunk half the time!”

Was that why Engie had suggested it yesterday? Had he also noticed and decided not to be as blunt as Heavy?

No! He couldn’t risk it! He barely got through that awkward conversation when he tried to give Sniper a compliment! Why would he decide to do that again?!

“I… I’ll do it, tomorrow,” Scout lied.

Heavy nodded.

“Very good. Is there anything else Heavy can do to help?”

“Don’t think so. Thanks, big guy.”

Heavy smiled and nodded. He stood up and picked up Sasha. Scout took that as his cue to leave. 

Quietly, Scout stood up and Demo went to follow. He opened the door as Demo slipped through.

Scout threw a look over his shoulder to see Heavy starting to clean his supplies, before shutting the door behind him.

Scout turned to see Demo looking at him. Silently, they both turned and started to walk down the hallway.

“So, tomorrow you’ll talk to Sniper, right?” Demo asked, breaking the silence.

Scout quickly wiped the scowl off his face before Demo could notice.

“Yep!” Scout lied.

***

“So we’ve talked to Engie and Heavy? We’re making good time,” Demo commented.

“I guess,” Scout responded. “So who’s next?”

***

“Hey Medic, got a minute?”

Medic’s head snapped up from the corpse he was experimenting on and looked at Scout as he and Demo pushed the doors to the infirmary open.

“Herr Scout, you know where the plasters are. You do not need my help to put one on.”

“No, it’s not that.”

Medic sighed. 

“What is it then? Herr Demo might need my help and you are wasting my valuable time.”

Demo shook his head.

“No doc, I’m fine,” he responded. “Scout needs your help, though.”

“Verdammt. What is it?”

Demo gave Scout an encouraging nod as Medic continued to operate on the corpse. Scout let out a nervous breath.

Of course, he was nervous about this! He knew what Medic did last time Scout told him about the loop!

“I need you to promise me you won’t try to give me meds this time, okay?”

“…This time?”

“Just promise, okay?”

Medic shot Scout a confused look but slowly nodded.

“Ja, okay, I promise.”

Scout sighed. 

Good enough, he guessed.

“I’m in a time loop,” Scout blurted out. “If you can help me that’d be great. Have you noticed anything off with me in the last couple of days?” 

Medic blinked, processing the stream of speech that was directed at him. 

His scalpel slipped out of his hand and into the corpse’s rib cage as he turned his head to look at Demo who had a serious expression on his face. Medic turned back to Scout.

“O…kay?” Medic eventually answered, picking up the scalpel. “Am I to understand you have been experiencing the same day on repeat?”

Scout nodded.

“Yeah. Demo suggested I talk to everyone and see if they can help.”

“Really, we just want to see if there’s something Scout can change that I haven’t already noticed,” Demo helpfully added.

Medic looked up at Demo through his eyelashes.

“And what have you noticed, Herr Demo?”

Demo said nothing, staring at the doctor. Medic frowned and tilted his head. 

As the two seemingly had a silent conversation among themselves, only nodding and pulling faces, Scout bit his lip.

“Uh… I can go if you want,” Scout spoke up.

“No need, Herr Scout,” Medic replied with a bloody wave. “I was just making sure Herr Demo and I are on the same page.”

“Okay then. Can you help me? You’re smart – surely you can think of something!”

Medic put a hand to his chin in thought.

“Unfortunately, I can’t think of anything major that could break this loop you speak of,” he mused as he placed the scalpel he was using down and reached towards Scout. “Unless you let me look at your brain and the observable effects under the loop–”

“Nuh-uh! No way!” Scout interrupted, slapping one of Medic’s hands away. “Besides, you wouldn’t even fuckin’ remember it!”

“Ja, but how often do I get to observe the synapses of a brain undergoing extreme stress and magic? Oh! I wonder if brain activity would remain the same as the previous loop! Or would it change as you are experiencing a different flow of time?”

“You’re scarin’ the lad, doc,” Demo piped up.

Medic laughed as Scout staggered backwards.

“Just imagine…” Medic said to himself.

Scout frowned slightly. He wasn’t going to get much more out of Medic which was somehow both a blessing and a curse.

“I… I’m gonna go. If you can think of anything that can get me out, let me know before midnight.”

That conversation seemed pretty quick and painless. Scout wondered if the conversations with the rest of the team would be the same.

As Scout turned to leave, Medic perked up. 

“Ah, Herr Scout?” Medic spoke up.

Goddamn it.

Scout silently begged for this conversation not to go where he thought it was going to go.

“Yeah?”

“Have you spoken to Herr Sniper about this?”

Fuck.

What was everyone's obsession with him speaking with Sniper?! Scout avoiding Sniper wasn’t that bad, was it? 

“Oh um… he’s later down on our list. I-I’ll talk to him then.”

Medic nodded approvingly

“Good, good. I recommend you speak to him earlier. He might have seen something similar to this during his career.”

Scout frowned.

“Why don’t I speak to Spy then? He’s way older and has probably seen more shit.”

“The man is… Scheiße, what’s the word in English?”

“A prick?” Scout suggested.

“Secretive,” Demo offered.

“Ja! Secretive! He does not like to share details of his past. Although…”

Demo cleared his throat.

“One problem at a time, doc,” Demo interrupted. 

“But it might–”

“Doc, not our place to say, remember?”

Scout blinked.

“Are youse hiding something from me?”

Demo and Medic made an obvious effort to look away from Scout, who was starting to feel very left out.

“Okay… You don’t gotta tell me anything. Just figured it might help break this loop quicker,” Scout muttered.

Demo sighed.

“Sorry lad. If we told you, he’d probably kill us.”

What?

“Even if you won’t remember tomorrow?”

“Herr Scout, drop it,” Medic snapped.

Scout recoiled and stared at the two men.

“Alright, alright! I’ll go! I’ll leave you two to your secrets, assholes.”

With a scoff, Scout sulked off to his room. 

Quietly Demo shook his head at Medic.

“Plan B,” he whispered.

“Ah, I see. Good luck getting him to speak to Herr Sniper. He’s stubborn as a mule.”

Demo groaned.

“It’s gotta happen sooner or later. Either way, are we still good for drinks tomorrow?”

“Ja. Heavy found a new bar that’s opened in town that we haven’t been banned from yet!”

***

“This would be more effective if I could remember these previous conversations,” Demo muttered, drawing crosses next to Engie, Heavy and Medic’s names.

“Yeah, well, they’re not very helpful,” Scout said, trying to decipher the names on the blackboard. “Are you sure about this one?”

“Well, who do you go to for a fantastical scenario? That’s right, you go to…”

***

“Pyro! Hey buddy, are you free right now?”

“Mmph! Mm-Mmph! Mm!”

Scout and Demo walked inside and sat down at Pyro’s tea party table.

Now, this conversation should be nice and quick, right?

“Pyro, I need some help from you.”

“Mph mm?”

“Yeah. You see, Merasmus cursed me to live the same day over and over again.”

“Mm-mmph!”

“I know, buddy. He said that I can only break it when I make a huge change to myself, but I don’t know what else to change. Have you noticed anything I need to change?”

Pyro was silent before they jumped up from their seat and ran over to their bed where Balloonicorn was resting. 

They thrust Balloonicorn into Scout’s arms for a hug, bouncing slightly. 

Honestly, Scout couldn’t say no to Pyro. He awkwardly wrapped his arms around the plush toy and squeezed. Demo snorted from next to him.

“Does Balloonicorn know how to break the curse?” Scout hesitantly asked from his hug. 

Pyro shook their head.

“Mph mmphmm mph mph mmph mmphmm!”

“He wanted me to feel better?”

Pyro nodded.

“But you and Balloonicorn don’t know what else I could change?”

Pyro deflated slightly and shook their head. 

“Mmph.”

“No, it’s okay. We haven’t had much luck with the others either.”

Pyro looked away and started tapping their foot.

“Mmph mph mmph mmphmph?”

Not this again.

“What’d they say, lad?” Demo asked.

Was this coordinated?! How much did the team talk about Scout and Sniper behind their backs?

“They asked if I had spoken to Sniper yet. We’re doin’ that tomorrow.”

Pyro cheered and clapped their hands before going in to give Scout a bone-crushing hug. Scout gave a small smile and pat Pyro on the back. 

As he turned to walk back into the hallway, Scout’s smile slipped off his face and was replaced with a scowl.

He was running out of time and excuses.

***

“Okay, so we’ve talked to Engie, Heavy, Medic and Pyro. Now we’re onto the S’s. Are you ready to speak to…”

“Actually Demo? I fucked up. We spoke to Sniper yesterday. I just forgot to tell you,” Scout lied.

He didn’t want to risk anything. 

The way things currently were with Sniper was fine, Scout told himself.

He didn’t want to scare Sniper away thanks to some dumb feelings he had.

“…Why did you…?”

“I just forgot,” Scout responded. “All these talks with everyone are kinda blending into one. Sniper didn’t know shit and it was so similar to our convo with Heavy that I kinda just… forgot one. Sorry.”

Demo was silent, drumming his fingers on the table.

“Sniper didn’t say anything helpful?”

“Nah. It sucks but he didn’t know anything to help.”

One little white lie couldn’t hurt, right? 

Demo sighed and turned back to the blackboard, drawing a cross next to Sniper’s name. He muttered something under his breath Scout didn’t catch.

“Alright then. Today we’ll be speaking to…”

***

“Soldier?” Scout called, knocking on the door

“Atten…tion!”

Demo leaned into Scout space.

“…Do we salute or…?” Demo asked.

Scout shrugged as he knocked again.

“Solly, can we come in? I need your help.”

“Affirmative, Private Second-Class! You may enter!”

Scout pushed the door open to reveal Soldier doing push-ups in the centre of the room. 

Scout blinked at the sight in front of him. Did the guy ever rest?!

“At ease, Soldiers!” Soldier ordered, getting to his feet. “You requested aid?!”

Scout shot a hesitant look at Demo before turning back to Soldier.

“Uh… yeah, I did, Solly. I need your help. I’m stuck in a time loop and can’t get out. Is there anything you think I need to change about myself that could break the loop?”

Solider hummed as he put a finger to his chin and tapped his foot.

“Have you spoken to Merasmus about this?”

“Affirmativ- I mean, yeah, but he wasn’t able to crack it! He suggested I find something I needed to change, but I can’t find anything else! I’ve won so many matches, I’ve been to your boot camp so many times, I don’t fuckin’ know what else to do!”

Soldier frowned.

“Then, I have got nothing to offer.”

Scout deflated. He was starting to get sick and tired of this song and dance.

“Alright, thanks, Solly.”

As they turned to leave, Scout could see out of the corner of his eye, Soldier perk up.

“Private second class!” 

Oh no. If this was about–

“Have you informed the Sniper?”

Scout blinked, saying nothing, and just glaring at the corner of the room.

“P-private second class?” Soldier asked, sounding hesitant for the first time since Scout had met him.

Scout ignored him, robotically turning and leaving without saying a word, leaving both Soldier and Demo dumbfounded.

“What is wrong with Private second-class?” Soldier turned to Demo.

Demo sighed.

“Janey, he’s been doing this for fifty-nine days. All things considered, I’m surprised he hasn’t plumb given up.”

“Hm… His determination is admirable! When he fixes this, I think I will give him a rank-up! And a medal!”

“You do that, Janey.”

[charleslelurk]

🐝 send me a fake fic title, and I’ll make up a summary for it!

Carnage

Where would I, writer of angst and only angst, take this other than angst.

Carnage

Charles Lelerc/Max Verstappen, 40k, friends to lovers to enemies

In 2025, four time World Champion Max Verstappen departs his Red Bull family into the welcoming arms of Toto Wolff. In 2026, Charles Leclerc shucks the red, waves goodbye to the Tifosi one last time, and does the same. The 2026 season goes exactly how one would expect. Total and complete carnage.

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