#save our superheroes
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
November 10th, 1984
#dc stargirl#lou ferrigno jr#rex tyler#hourman#stargirl#save stargirl#renew stargirl#never the end#save our superheroes#save the underdogs#bring back blue valley
42 notes
·
View notes
Text
what made the world cruel, if my mother made me kind?
maybe the first thing i reeked of was trees; and i throw up because i can see blood at a distance. i throw up at my own origin. to be a human you are to resemble violence, but it's unfair how the sky is still blue, and how a birth can also swallow you up. how we bury our dead into the soil that we love, and maybe we would abandon our homes to taste bullets in our mouth.
maybe to be kind, you must first be a martyr, and you have to survive this cruelty or die in it. maybe to be kind you must first go to war with your mother and tell her to be a little less kind, because no matter how many times you dig your dead up, the sky would always, always be blue.
how can we repay our mothers if not by being kind. what is left after the war, they ask?
and your voice can only be heard by a certain number of soldiers. liberation then, is the last one. what is left after the war, they ask? we should have told our mothers the world is a cruel, cruel place.
but kindness is abandoned love. and kindness is the house with no survivors.
maybe i also resent my mother a little because i want to see a kind world. and heaven is not kind either. because kindness stems in violence. or maybe i am wrong. maybe our mothers know the most out of cruelty. maybe we love the life inside of us because it reeks of trees. and we are all just protecting our mothers. and the land.
how many organs do i eat to build a kind world? what does a kind world look like, mother, because you have been through so much ; but the world is cruel.
#maybe revolution is just a cry for love#and cruelty is just a call for our kindness#maybe we could find love on the battlefields#and in the soil we bury our dead in#how do you abandon your homeland to protect your mother#and maybe i go to war with the world instead of with my mother#and make it kind#and free palestine#oh father#i'll be your superhero instead#but i think i smelt like trees before i smelt like blood#and i think there is soil in me before there is violence#and maybe if we save the land#the children would always first reek of trees#and we can tell them about war a little later#long live the resistance#today's kingdom is tomorrow's ashes
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
Looking back on Batman (2022)
Enough time has passed now that my initial adrenaline rush )and then later afterglow) over Batman 2022 has resolved itself at least enough that I can look back on the film a bit more critically.
I enjoyed this movie, I enjoyed this Batman, but and this is a big but, this movie did not like Batman.
The thing about Batman is that he's a grim dark fantasy where a hero who's in pain can use that pain as a motivation to help people, to change things, to strive for a better Gotham because he just can't fucking accept the Gotham that allowed his parents to get killed while coming home from the movies, that kills so many other parents and children and sucks the people that remain into a mire of corruption and austerity. This is not that Batman, this is a Batman that's utterly oblivious to the problems with wealth inequality until the movie rubs in his face and even then has his inaction in his role of Bruce Wayne while letting his Batman role monopolise his every waking thought presented as his main problem. This is not a Batman that announces to a dinner party, “Ladies. Gentlemen. You have eaten well. You've eaten Gotham's wealth. Its spirit. Your feast is nearly over. From this moment on...none of you are safe.”. That attacks violent crime on two fronts by giving legitimate jobs to ex cons by day and solving kidnapping or murder cases by night.
And most crucially this isn't a Batman that ... succeeds. By that I mean yes he solves the grand mystery, yes he saves people in the flood, but the classic Batman would have saved that man he interrupts the bomb disposal squad to answer Riddler's phone call for. The classic Batman would have saved Falcone, evil doer that he is, not because he deserved to live but because Batman is a hyper competent hero who's comic gimmick was that he was quick witted enough to stay ahead of the crooks and always save the person in front of him as a result, perhaps it's only natural for that to be subverted with the Riddler as his enemy (a character invented with the intent of putting the detective hero to the test when it came to his cerebral limits) but because this is a stand alone film, which as the name says has this Batman stand alone with the contents as the only basis to judge him with it has the effect of making his presence as a hero less warranted. After all, does Batman's presence in this film really save anyone besides the flood victims and Selina?
Yes the only victims who really get killed are all bad people but... that's not the point of Batman, the point is that he saves everyone he can.
The film also does the whole 'batman creates his own villains and actively makes the city worse because he espouses vengeance and violence' thing which egh, slightly more palatable with the transition from vengeance to hope, but I really don't fucking like it all the same. And besides that I dislike the idea that vengeance can't be hopeful, that a man who lost everything in one terrifying night, who got no justice, whose loved ones and personal loss and whose innocence remain unavenged saying to himself "I am justice, I am vengeance, I am the night!" as a way of reclaiming everything that's happened to him and everything he wants to be for the people of Gotham whose cries go unanswered by corrupt law enforcement and an even more corrupt bureaucracy, is presented as invalid, as somehow immature. When Batman was always crafted as a mature hero in the mold of the Scarlet Pimpernel and Zorro and James Bond, of Sherlock Holmes! That was part of his central appeal! He's the cool mature down to earth, detective hero.
Here he is reduced to a naive rich boy who's so ignorant his main approach to crime is to inefficiently beat the shit out of whatever hoodlums he encounters and who literally doesn't have the idea of using his money to fix the poverty or corruption fuelling the crime until Riddler highlights what his parents wanted to do for the city by denigrating it + the politician lady who repeatedly points it out. It's a movie that loves Batman but also passionately declares the stupidity of Batman. Perhaps that's also inevitable because solving crime by beating it up while dressed as a Bat is well, silly, when you approach it with real world cynicism instead of the wish fulfillment, the fantasy of being rich and powerful and smart enough to actually do something about an entire city that's drowning in crime, that has been drowning, suffocating, for decades, and have a hope of succeeding. There is no fun of acting like an airhead so the other rich people and crooks will underestimate and look down on you like they look down on everyone in the city as you use your access to learn things people outside that circle of rich opportunists can't and then use it to reveal their crimes as a vigilante whose identity no one suspects. Instead we have a traumatised Bruce Wayne openly beg Don Falcone for information who indulges him because he owes his father that favour and Bruce Wayne isn't a threat, is it interesting pathos? Definitely! Is it dramatic and fun! Also yes! Is it traditional Batman/Bruce Wayne secret identity shenanigans? Well kind of in that it gets him the extra information but genuinely not so much because it's not really an act. Does it have to be traditional Batman? I really don't know. We can't ever create something refreshing like this movie was if we don't try to deviate from the norm and in that regard I think it deserves respect. And yet. There's a but.
This movie doesn't let Batman succeed at anything but the bare minimum as a vigilante but it does let him try his best, always and it lets him care, deeply. Which is enough that it pulls through as a good batman film. However for all the budget and clever characterisation I don't think it's a great Batman film. After all Batman is a superhero fantasy and in those, the good guys are allowed to save the day.
#and yet#batman 2022#bruce wayne#meta#thoughts#personal#batman 2022 meta#batman#something about how he doesn't prevent the flood but does save some people in it could be a great metaphor#for how batman in the comics can't ever fix gotham (because then the comic would end) but he can save people who live there#but i don't actually think that's what they meant to do here#my main problem is the movie clearly doesn't approve of vigilantism and like that's fine but it's a movie about a superhero#and it never lets us really suspend our disbelief because it's too busy being cynical about the whole concept#and like maybe that too is refreshing in its way? the whole this is a stupid way to deal with crimes thing is true#but it also fails to acknowledge that#what other recourse is there? with a police force that's literally in the pocket of the mob#when you look at it like that batman becomes a much more understandable alternative course of action#and a vehicle of narrative catharsis for people who know the law isn't protecting them but still desire justice#desire that the criminals be they the rich defrauding them of what little money they have or the mob bosses actually will see consequences#the whole concept of vengeance is too readily dismissed as toxic and as diametric to hope imo#like yeah i'm all in on a redemptive justice system that actually helps people reform but the idea#that bad powerful people shouldnt be made to face consequences by batman if no one else (because cops and lawyers and politicians won't)#is dismissed soooooo readily to the point where bruce's initial stance on justice as vengeance is presented as two dimensional#something about that bothers me#and i think also gets to the core of batman as a character and to the core of why I can't fully vibe with this presentation of him#for all its many boons
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
you know there's a real missed opportunity of not making versions of like the real housewives franchise in comics. you look me in the eyes and you goddamned tell me that the real housewives of gotham or central city doesn't fucking SMACK in the dc universe and give atlanta and rhony a run for the crown
#kazoo noises#superhero posting#dc#can YOU IMAGINE how good real housewives of gotham would be? my GOD#better tv than early rhonj! i am so serious that shit would be REVOLUTIONARY!!!! oh the reality tv scholars in superhero universes are#SICK. like. play with me in this space guys. please. gotham is famously corrupt and chockablock of villains and the only good wealthy perso#is basically wayne and affiliates. who despite waynes freewheeling pretty boy idle rich energy is not reality tv trashy (SOMEHOW)#why isnt he on the show? isnt he with a new gal every month? ''guess he never gets passed to the housewife crowd''#one of the season plotlines involves a messy divorce a disgraced mayor and like idk *spins wheel* city comptroller of gotham that happened#during a local election year and the city gathers together for the inside scoop in between this poor fuckin rich lady who while kinda..#sketch (real housewives vibes truly) is still sympathetic and raked over the coals by national media and HEY THATS ONE OF OUR FREAKS! who#has a home renovation. a divorce. her kids! and is really trying the poor gal. crazy season. theres still another plotline#and you KNOW central city breeds folks weird. like gotham has the sketchiness and the weirdness. central city is kitsch#central citys housewives are all balls to the wall wild. theres the workin ladies and the vaguely old money ladies and They Dislike Each#Other but u know they'll circle them wagons when an out of towner gets involved (this is me projecting bc i view central city as superhero#stl) do you think someone ever gets wrapped up in a supervillain plot? just this housewife and the camera guy for bravo out shopping and OH#FUCK! ITS CAPTAIN COLD! and now we got a hostage situation#and you knooooow that whichever speedster comes to save the day is making small talk during the rescue. you just know it.#bet that episode of housewives won an emmy tbh. theres like five different phd dissertations on it. in an oral history of the franchise#someone does fucking bag an interview with the flash about the Captain Cold Episode. its the most peaceful fucking reunion andy ever hosts#dont ask about my opinions about drag scenes in comics im worse about that
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Tag drop 1.
#[ ooc. ] you can call me anytime. i'll put you on hold. i like to watch the line blink.#[ ic. ] you experience things. then they're over and you still can't explain 'em? gods. aliens. dimensions. i'm just a man in a can.#[ answered: ooc. ] you have reached the life model decoy of tony stark. leave a message. / it's urgent. / so leave it urgently.#[ answered: ic. ] sir. agent coulson of s.h.i.e.l.d. is on the line. / i'm not in. i'm actually out.#[ psa. ] obviously you can quote me on that. 'cause i just said it.#[ saved. ] what am i even tripping for? everything's gonna work out exactly the way it's supposed to. i love you 3000.#[ memes / prompts. ] if there's one thing I've proven it's that you can count on me to pleasure myself.#[ crack. ] i don't want to harp on this but did you like the custom rabbit? / ... did i like it? / nailed it. right?#[ et cetera. ] actually he's the boss. i just pay for everything and design everything. and make everyone look cooler.#[ self promotion. ] you know; it's moments like these when i realize what a superhero i am.#[ other promotions. ] i told you: i don’t want to join your super-secret boy band.#[ visage. ] 'mr. stark displays compulsive behavior.' in my defense. that was last week.#[ robert downey jr. ] i take some pride in representing myself exactly how i would like to have my son remember me to his kids.#[ meta. ] i should put it in a lockbox and drop it to the bottom of the lake and go to bed. / but would you be able to rest?#[ mini study. ] you start with something pure. exciting. then come the mistakes. the compromises. we create our own demons.#[ essence. ] it's not about me. it's not about you either. it's about legacy. the legacy left behind for future generations.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's called Fully Automated Luxury Communism, and while it's somethin' of an internet meme, it's also a very real idea that would actually work. See, in Marx's day there was more scarcity. The industrial revolution was just gettin' goin', an' they didn't have the kind a' tech we have. Communist countries like the USSR and China really struggled with scarcity an' gettin' the people what they need.
But nowadays, we got the tech. GMOs an' modern agricultural techniques increase food yields tremendously. A national power grid could provide ridiculously cheap electricity with entirely green tech. Nationalized internet could be blazingly fast and, again, ridiculously cheap. There are enough houses in the US currently to house everyone. Single payer healthcare would drive prices down an' provide fer everyone. Clothing production can be mostly automated and made very cheap, even when those workers who are required are paid well. Education infrastructure is already in place, it just needs to be funded. Transport infrastructure would take some doing, with cities rebuilt to favor public transportation and walkability, but it's quite possible with existing tech.
No further technological advancements are required to do all this now. We ain't quite at a point where we can be post-scarcity on everythin', but we can be post-scarcity on all necessities with only about ten years of infrastructure work an' current technology.
Only the greed an' evil of capitalists stands in our way. So the way I see it, that makes capitalists culpable fer every single person who dies because they lack those basic necessities. We live in a society run by murderers. An' its time we changed that.
#comics#dc comics#superhero#kilowog#sue dibny#justice league#communism#fully automated luxury gay space communism#fully automated luxury communism#We don't have to give up any standard of living to save the planet#We can save the environment and improve our standard of living at the same time#Only capitalism stands in our way#one way out
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
A photo from memories, captured in May 2023.
Everyone has a superhero. For any girl in the world, her superhero is her father.
He is our hero. He is a doctor. Before this ongoing genocide, he worked at Al-Shifa Hospital. He is a wonderful plastic surgeon, loves his work and is committed to it, to help people and relieve their pain.
When We were forced to be displaced to Al-Shifa Hospital at the beginning of the war, he was still committed to his work. He worked nonstop for 40 days, besides caring for his family, especially in these difficult times!
But unfortunately the occupation stormed and burned the hospital after We were forced to evacuate , raising white flags. We could not carry anything, just our souls. We fled to the south on foot. He carried his two children in his arms, and walked long distances for many kilometers during the afternoon among tanks and heavily armed soldiers, and even among decomposing corpses!
Finally, we reached the UNRWA school at Khan Yunis. He started working in Nasser Hospital, which the occupation also stormed and destroyed! Even when we were displaced, he was working.
All that happened did not stop him from performing his lofty job as a doctor. He has now returned to work in MOH hospitals to carry out operations of debridement and grafting of needy injured people, but he is alone, we are far from him.
He decided to protect us and made a decision to refuge in Egypt to be survived. While he stayed in Rafah before the beginning of the military operation there. Then he was forced to be displaced to Deir Al-Balah.
Every morning he goes to work at Nasser Hospital in Khan Yunis and returns to his tent in Deir Al- Balah in the evening all week.
Is this what we and he deserve?
We stay away from our hero and torn our family. While at the same time, he is putting himself in danger while saving innocent lives!
For your information, his profession is considered more dangerous than ever before, due to the occupation’s systematic policy of targeting hospitals and medical staff!
All the day, we are worried about him. May Allah save him. Moreover, there is no safe place.
We hope to reunite again, we want each other, we want our home and our dreams!
We need your help and support to meet our father again, reunite our family and rebuild our lives. Little matters! Your little means a lot to us.
Please, donate or reblog this with others.
Our story is here:
This was not our only tragic story in this genocide, every day was a struggle for survival!
Thanks!
🇵🇸���🇵🇸🍉🇵🇸🍉🇵🇸🍉
#gaza fights for freedom#stand with palestine#gazaunderattack#all eyes on gaza#news on gaza#gaza genocide#gaza gofundme#gaza aid#free palestine#gaza
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
DPxDC prompt (demon twins au)
A video from your son, the email was titled. Bruce was confused. Which of his kids would send a video to his public work email??
Bruce clicked play.
On the screen was a boy who look a lot like Damian, but most certainly wasn’t him.
“This video is for the eyes of Bruce Wayne only.
Hi Dad. I’m Danny. You likely don’t know I exist, and if you’re receiving this, I’m already dead. Well, more dead than I already was. Maybe it’s cruel of me to send you a message post-mortem, but you deserve the truth, and telling you earlier would’ve put you in danger.
This email is set to automatically send if I haven’t opened my computer for 3 days. I sometimes set it longer if I’m on vacation or expecting trouble, but I’ve mostly likely been away from home for a bit over three days if you’re receiving this.
I don’t know who killed me. Obviously. I’m recording this in advance. But it was probably either the GIW or my adoptive parents, the Fentons. I half-died at 14 and became a local ghost superhero, but they never realized I was trying to help and kept talking about tearing ghost-me apart molecule by molecule, so I bet that’s what happened. There will be nothing left of me to bury. Sorry about that!
The rest of the story is this. I was raised in an assassin cult, eventually escaping at the age of 6 when they sent me on mission and I successfully faked my death.
My biggest regret is that I escaped alone. And that’s the reason I’m reaching out to you.
You’re a civilian. If you know too much about the League of Assassins you’ll be in danger. But I need you to save my twin Damian. He’s likely still there after all these years. He never wanted to escape; he took pride in being the heir to the league. He’s probably going to be stabby; he’s an assassin after all. But it’s not his fault. Ra’s - our grandfather - brainwashed him a lot more than he brainwashed me because Damian was more susceptible to it. It’s not his fault. Please. Save him. I’m begging you. My biggest regret is leaving Damian in the league. You have a chance to save him. Please, please do it.
I wish it would’ve been safe for me to get to know you. You seem like a cool dad, from what I’ve seen of you on the news with your oldest kids. I bet you’re like that with the youngest you hide from the public too. I wish you all the best. Thank you for listening.
Your long lost almost certainly dead by now son, Danny Fenton.”
Bruce took a second to process this, then picked up his phone and dialed his youngest’s number.
“Father.”
“Damian, did you have a twin named Danny?”
“…Who told you?”
Bruce hung up and sent Damian the video. He needed a minute to process this anyway.
Damian called back a few minutes later, after watching the video.
“Father. I do not care what state he is in. We must discover exactly what happened to Danny. Even if there is only a single molecule left. We must discover the truth.”
“I couldn’t agree more, Damian.”
Dealer’s choice on whether Danny is alive. The few ideas I have for this are:
- they find him mid-vivisection and rescue him
- they find what’s left of him post-vivisection and post his core being crushed
- he’s perfectly fine and just forgot to open his computer (maybe clockwork made sure he forgot?) and now he’s panicking about the fact that his family knows about him and could be in danger. He wanted them to know he existed, not make themselves a walking target for the league by finding him and trying to bring him home!
- Jazz found the automatic email and, deciding to meddle in her brother’s life and him back to his family and maybe get a good parent for herself as a bonus, sent it early
- Technus decided to start shit and sent it while haunting Danny’s computer
- Clockwork screwed with time to make sure it got sent
Lmk what yall do with this!
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
This is my first official post, and idk how to feel about it. So any and all comments & reblogs are really appreciated. If it’s bad please comment so I know I have to delete it🙏
Your secrets are ours, Kid
Yandere BatFam x Reader — CH1 -> CH2 -> CH3 -> CH4 -> CH5 -> CH6 -> CH7 -> CH8 -> CH9 -> CH10
Nightwing, who’s known for his impressive acrobatic skills and crime-fighting abilities, has become a prominent figure in the city of Blüdhaven. Renowned for his fearless approach to taking down criminals and has gained a notable reputation among the superhero community.
The guy's identity is a complete mystery, though. Nightwing works alone, leaving many of us to wonder who the man behind the mask really is. — Some say he has connections to Gotham City’s own famous vigilante, Batman.
When the young hero is seen in action, he can be often spotted leaping from rooftops and engaging in daring acts of superheroism, leaving criminals and citizens alike in awe of his skill and courage. Some question if he's a human or something more, while others simply look on in admiration. Despite the secrecy surrounding his identity, Nightwing's reputation seems to grow endlessly.
Then there’s Red Hood, the dark and brooding vigilante of Gotham City, a fearsome sight to behold. His red mask and signature pistols make him easily recognizable, and his actions leave criminals trembling in terror.
Some have speculated him being a former criminal reforming his ways while I believe that he too has ties to our one and only Batman. Despite his dark demeanor and ruthless tactics, it seems clear to me that there is a connection between the two. There has been a lot of evidence submitted for their collaboration, even if they choose to deny it publicly. Though, Batman, known for his strict code of ethics, would not typically associate himself with someone as morally ambiguous as Red Hood. But the circumstantial evidence is too compelling to ignore.
Regardless, Red Hood's impact on the criminal underworld is undeniable. He uses violence and intimidation to enforce his own brand of justice, which is rather admirable, yet causing many to question his brutal methods.
Next up is our one and only Batman himself, the dark knight of Gotham City. He’s a mystery in itself. His tall, imposing stature is enough to strike fear into the hearts of criminals, and his reputation as a master detective and fighter only enhances his mystique.
I have been trying to piece together the puzzle that is Batman's identity. Who is the man under the mask? What drives him to take on Gotham's criminals with such determination?
Though the billionaire Bruce Wayne has long been suspected as the man behind the mask, no concrete evidence has ever been presented. His true identity remains a puzzle, something that adds to his allure and intrigue. Every lead I follow seems to hit a dead end. The playboy is too obvious, too niche. What would motivate a Wayne, someone brought up into filthy wealth, who wastes his money on grand galas and prostitutes, into defending this city? The theory is too far reached.
Next are Red Robin and Robin. Batman’s sidekick-associates. Their partnership with Batman has been evident in their actions and fighting style. However, a rumour has been running around, theorising that the newer Robin was a young child when he had first joined Batman at his side.
Would our beloved hero really force a minor into sighting the dark dangerous streets of Gotham? Would he_
As you sat uncomfortably at the countertop of your kitchen, typing away on your laptop, you were suddenly interrupted by the unexpected sound of someone clearing their throat. You look up from the bright screen to see your roommate standing in the doorway, arms crossed. You raise an amused brow, a grin tugging at your lips at the sight of the other male in pyjamas rather than the usual broody black clothes and leather jacket. You click save and shut off the computer, turning fully to face him. “Yes, Jayson dear?”
Jason’s nose scrunches at the name, even as he stands in the doorway wearing nothing but a thin, well-worn shirt and pants. He looks like a child, which is somehow more than a little endearing. His eyes flickering up and down your frame as he appraises you. Despite the relaxed state his attire provides, his expression is as serious as ever. His hands are stuffed in the pockets of the worn flannel pants he’s sporting, but it does little to make him look anything other than intimidating.
He raises a brow, tilting his head as he looks at you, watching you save your work and then turn to face him. “Don’t ‘yes, Jayson dear’ me, smartass.”
You snort, moving off of the chair and stretching out, the cracks in your back loud enough for him to purse his lips at. “Well aren’t you sour this fine morning.”
Jason scoffs, narrowing his eyes. “It’s four am.” He mutters, crossing the kitchen to get to the coffee pot. He doesn’t really need the caffeine, but he likes the routine. He grabs a mug from one of the cabinets, filling it up with black coffee. He’d just snuck back in after his patrol, not expecting to see you up.
“And I’m not sour,” he says a bit petulantly, taking a sip of the coffee before setting it aside. “I’m concerned.”
Your brow raises higher, turning to the worn down clock practically glued to the wall from all the times you’ve both hit it to get the ticking sound to shut off. It’s a digital, why does it need to make such an annoying sound? “Huh. I guess it is.”
He rolls his eyes, not at all surprise that you would lose track of time so easily when you got lost in your writing. “Yeah, you do that sometimes,” he grumbles, taking another sip of coffee.
He looks you over, studying you intently as he crosses his arms. “How long have you been working?”
You hum, looking out the window into the polluted skies of Gotham. The sun had risen. “What answer will make you the least angry?”
“None of them,” Jason says, a scoff escaping his lips. His jaw twitches slightly as he watches you stare out the window, and he can’t help noticing how tired you look. He’s seen you like this before, pushing yourself to the brink just to finish a project, just to get everything perfect.
“How long?” he asks again, his voice a little softer this time.
“...” you sigh, looking away from the window to face him once more. “All night.” Before he can open his mouth to reprimand you, you cut in. “But! My project is due today. And Tim will decapitate me if I’m late on another assignment...” You rub the side of your face tiredly, displaying an uneven smile.
Jason’s annoyance melts away into concern as you speak. He can tell you’re exhausted, and the thought of you pushing yourself so hard for so long makes him want to wrap you up in a blanket and force you to take a nap.
But he can’t do that. Not when you’re an adult, not when you’re not actually his little sibling. Yet. He settles for crossing the kitchen and putting a hand on your shoulder. “You need to take care of yourself,” he says firmly. “You won’t be any good to your professor if you pass out from exhaustion.”
You grin softly and give a tired nod, fishing out your phone to check the university’s time table. “I only have to go in at nine forty.”
“And then you only have to endure a full day of classes,” Jason says dryly, narrowing his eyes. He gently takes your phone out of your hand and tucks it into his pocket. “No more work until then.”
Your eyes widen at the action, quickly scrambling to get the device back. “You– Jay!” You huff, leaning back against the hard counter. His gaze set sternly on you. You feel small under his gaze, as if he’s your father disappointed in you for stealing a tenner.
Jason crosses his arms once more, his eyes never leaving your face. Looking like the definition of a disapproving older brother. “No,” he says firmly, his voice stern. “You need to rest. I can’t have you passing out in the middle of class.”
He takes a step closer, looming over you as he stares you down. “You’re gonna take a nap, and then you’re gonna eat a proper breakfast. Got it?”
You can do nothing but glare. Cursing under your breath and walking past him. You’ll have to complain to Tim about this later.
He watches you stalk past him, a smirk on his face. He can practically hear you swearing at him in your head. He takes a moment to finish off his coffee before following you into the living room.
“What, no clever comeback? No witty remark?” he teases, leaning against the wall and watching you storm into the living room. “Are you actually listening to me for once?”
You make a show of laying down on his red beanbag, tugging the blanket off of the couch to drape over your form and throwing up the middle finger at him.
Jason can’t help but chuckle at your childish display. He moves towards you slowly, stopping when he’s close enough to look down at your face. He crouches down beside you, a smirk on his lips. He places your laptop on the table opposite you and your phone next to it.
“Real mature, kid.” He says, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He ruffles your hair then stands, descending back into the kitchen. “I’ll wake you up an hour before you gotta leave, don’t worry.”
You sigh, mimicking him in an exaggeratedly high pitched voice. “I’ll wake you up an hour before you have to leave, mehmeheh.”
No use of y/n, currently gn leaning towards male.
Things to note: reader is unaware that the Batfamily members are related yet, age is young adult (19-20), everyone is aged up.
Any questions or feedback is appreciated.
#yandere batfam#yandere batfamily#yandere batfam x reader#red hood#tim drake#red robin#batman#dick grayson#nightwing#jason todd#damian wayne#robin#dc robin#gn reader#x gn reader#male reader#x male reader#yandere jason todd#yandere red hood#yandere damian wayne#yandere robin#yandere batman#yandere nightwing#yandere dick grayson#yandere bruce wayne#bruce wayne#yandere tim drake#yandere red robin#yandere dc#male yandere x male reader
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
Wait, I was reading your posts and came across something I've found confusing. How is Adrien asking Ladybug wth she is doing in Volpina a bad thing? From Adrien's perspective, Ladybug's a celebrity tracking down a middle schooler with zero clout and humiliating her for lying about meeting her before. That's, uh yeah? Imagine if that happened irl lmao. Millions of teenage girls would perish at 1D's hands. My middle school would be a horror story. And it's made clear multiple times in the episode that her motivation is jealousy. It's one of the few episodes where the lesson Marinette gets makes sense I think, because she was genuinely spiteful in shitting on this random girl in front of her crush. That's significantly different than Ladybug just asking for a retraction from the Ladyblog. It's also one of the few times when Adrien's celebrity background actually affects how he acts, and it makes sense that Marinette doesn't make the connection between superhero=celebrity=not allowed to scream at middleschoolers in public. If half the kids in her school didn't lie about meeting Ladybug before, my suspension of disbelief is gone.
I've seen this argument before and it makes no sense to me, especially in the context of the lie that Lila actually told and the way the Lila confrontation actually goes down. A lot of people who have this take seem to think that Lila's lie was, "Ladybug saved me," and that Ladybug made a big public confrontation which is not what canon actually gave us. The confrontation was done in a mostly private setting and, while we never see Lila's full Ladyblog interview, this is how Ladybug sums up the interview in Volpina:
Ladybug:(sarcastically) Well hey Lila! How's it going? Long time no see. I saw your interview on the Ladyblog, awesome job. Oh sure! I remember our instant connection when I saved your life and we've been really good friends ever since! Practically BFF's! Uh actually, when did I save your life again, Lila? I don't recall. Oh yes! Of course, now I remember. Never! And we're not friends either! Miss Show-Off here was trying to impress you and everyone around her.
Lila didn't just lie about meeting Ladybug, she lied about having an ongoing, close relationship with Ladybug, two very different things. And Ladybug isn't just a celebrity, she's a superhero who is fighting an active terrorist. If I had to rewrite this confrontation, I'd keep it pretty much the same and just change the "Miss Show-Off" line to something like:
Miss Show-Off here was trying to impress you and everyone around her, putting herself and all of you at major risk! You know that Hawkmoth would do anything to get these, right? (gestures at her earrings) Did you even stop to think about what he'd do if he learned the identity of my supposed best friend? Of course not. You were too busy trying to look cool to stop and think things through like an actual superhero! We keep our identities and relationships secret for a reason!
Is this the kindest, most gentle way to confront someone like Lila? No, but it's very in character for Marinette to be filled with righteous fury when she sees someone using her name for their own personal gain. I really can't blame her for getting incredibly angry at this total stranger presenting herself as a Ladybug authority and using that authority to manipulate Marinette's friends. As I've said before, take away the crush complication and Marinette's actions still make total sense to me.
I'm not a huge proponent of virtue ethics. That's the idea that you need proper motivation for an act to be morally justified. If you do the right thing for the wrong reason, then the act is bad no matter how good the results and vice versa. If you view the world that way, then sure, you could possibly argue that Marinette's actions were wrong just like you can also argue that Gabriel's actions were totally fine, but I don't view the world that way. Switch Marinette's motivation from jealousy and a little righteous fury to pure righteous fury and almost nothing changes. She'd still need to confront Lila, the words would just be a little different.
It's not like this confrontation stops Lila, either. Chameleon gives us this:
Lila: (in flashback) Not only did Ladybug save my life, we've become very close friends. Marinette: She lies with every breath. Nino: Wait. You eavesdropped on Lila and Adrien? That's not cool. Alya: A good reporter always verifies her sources. Can you prove she doesn't actually know Ladybug?
Quick mini rant before I give the next Chameleon quote: this isn't how verifying your sources works, Alya! You should be verifying that Lila does know Ladybug, not the other way around! Right now, Marinette and Lila have equal authority on the topic as far as you know and there is no evidence to support either claim, so you should be looking for proof that Lila isn't lying! Proof isn't a first come, first serve problem even though a lot of people fall into that trap. This is especially true since Lila goes on to make claims like this:
Lila: Of course Ladybug saved my life. She never misses an opportunity to rescue her best friends. Max: Didn't your tinnitus give you vertigo when you went up the Eiffel Tower? Lila: Oh no. Ladybug knows me so well that she brought me an earplug to stick in my right ear.
So Lila keeps right on lying about her relationship with Ladybug, presenting them as close friends, making it even harder for me to get on the "Marinette was in the wrong for privately confronting Lila" train. If anything, Marinette was too tame! She needed to go full scorched earth and have Alya post a public retraction that included a message about the dangers of claiming to be personal friends with someone you don't actually know.
If the show went that route and had Ladybug give an equally furious smack-down and Alya posted it without a second thought, THEN I'd probably be on team "Marinette needed to tone herself down because she went too far" because that isn't a heat-of-the-moment reaction. It's something Marinette would have time to think through. But Volpina didn't go there. Instead, we just get Marinette reacting live to someone using her name to flirt with her crush. Remember, this is the setup to Marinette transforming and jumping in to stop Lila:
Lila: Not only did Ladybug save my life, we've become very close friends because we have something very special in common- it's what I wanted to tell you about. I'm the descendant of a vixen superheroine myself, Volpina. Adrien: Volpina? Marinette: Volpina? Adrien: Wait a minute! I think I read about her in my book. Lila:(stopping him from grabbing the book) Of course she's in your book. She's one of the most important superheroes. More powerful and more celebrated than Ladybug. Between you and me Ladybug doesn't even make the top ten. My grandma gave me this necklace. [Marinette runs off to transform] Adrien: (holding Lila's necklace) Are you telling me this is a Miraculous?! (Ladybug lands in front of them)
This wasn't a planned confrontation. It was Marinette reacting live to some pretty massive lies. If Ladybug had been swinging by and just overhead this, then the scene once again wouldn't change much. That's why blaming Marinette for confronting Lila in the "wrong way" feels so victim blame-y to me. "How dare Ladybug not be perfectly poised at all times and react with grace when someone lies about being her close friend and teammate!" is not a take I'm ever going to agree with. And if you want to use the middle schooler defense? Then it applies to Marinette, too. She and Lila are the same age. Why the different standards just because Marinette has fame that she never asked for or sought out?
I've never been much of a fan of holding celebrities to an "always on" standard where their every interaction needs to be done with poise and grace even if the interaction happens out in the wild and not at a planned even where the celebrity can be mentally prepared for dealing with fans. That's extra true for accidental celebrities like Ladybug. Marinette didn't take up the earrings for fame and they certainly haven't brought her fortune, plus she has no PR training. Expecting her to be a PR master who knows how to handle her accidental fame is, once again, a little too victim blame-y for my tastes. Ladybug is here to save the world, not sign autographs. You can hold her to politician standards when you start paying her for risking her life on the daily.
There's a version of Lila where I would have a different take. A version where the lie really is minor and Marinette really did "overreact", but even there my lesson wouldn't be "Marinette was totally in the wrong" because I genuinely think that sends the wrong message to kids and kids are the show's target audience. Think about what you're actually saying here, "Because Marinette is famous, she needs to accept that people will lie about her and just ignore them even if people believe the lie."
While that isn't exactly a wrong take, it's still really messed up. It's not okay for people to use Marinette's name like that just because she's famous. The reason she needs to learn to let it go is because that's what's best for her mental health, not because her fame makes her lesser than others when it comes to things like personal privacy. The lies are not magically okay just because she's well known.
Remember, Marinette is a fictional character, but the kids watching this show are very real and they're way more likely to be Lilas than Marinettes. And the kids that do relate to Marinette in this episode? They'll be kids who have dealt with the rumor mill spreading lies about them or their friends without the celebrity complication. The show should not be telling either set of kids that Marinette is the one in the wrong here. That is the wrong moral and why I hate this episode so much. I might feel differently if the intended audience was teens and if this plot was allowed to be more complex, but none of that is true. The show is aimed at kids ages 5 to 12 and every episode is supposed to teach its own moral with Volpina's moral being "Marinette was explicitly and totally in the wrong here."
This is the age of internet personalities where there are more easily-accessible celebrities than ever and where many of them do not have the wealth needed to protect themselves from fans nor the PR training to know how to handle extreme fans if there even is PR training for that! That means that it's honestly really important for kids to learn to view these individuals as people who it's wrong to lie about and who deserve the same respect as non-famous people. Treating celebrities as public commodities is how we get things like the Kit Connor scandal where an 18-year-old actor felt forced to publicly come out because the internet wouldn't shut up about his sexuality. Oh, and since you brought up one direction, I'll also note that the band members have publicly stated that online shipping discourse has negatively impacted their relationships. So, yeah, I'm never going to agree that kids should be told that it's okay to lie about celebrities or treat them as fictional characters to play with and that the celebrities are the ones who are wrong if they get upset about that behavior. That shit is toxic.
If we go the "minor" lie route, then my version of this episode would be a very sad one where Marinette learns that people are going to ignore her boundaries and lie about her and there's nothing she can do about it. A lesson in mental health training that will hopefully help kids who are dealing with bullies, but that does not present Marinette as totally in the wrong. It just teaches her when to pick a fight and when to let it go, which is a very important skill to learn even outside of lies about your own person. There will be many times when you hear people say something that you vehemently disagree with and it's important to learn when to pick a fight and when to just let it go, knowing that no good will come from speaking up even if you're 100% in the right. It's a very sad, but also very necessary skill.
I think Adrien has a place in that story. A place where he still tells Ladybug to let it go, but it should NOT have been played the way it was in canon where he acted like Ladybug was totally out of line. He needed to be way more compassionate and understanding of her very justified anger. I've written Adrien giving advice on this topic before and it's always presented as, "people are going to be assholes and you have to learn to ignore them for your own well being," not as, "you are wrong to be upset about strangers telling lies about you. You agreed to deal with this when you decided to be a hero" because what kind of asinine lesson is that?
You could also keep Adrien's canon reaction and have the lesson be him learning that it's okay to have boundaries. That his fame doesn't negate his bodily autonomy and right to be treated with dignity. That people chasing him down, invading his personal space, and otherwise preventing him from living a normal life is wrong. I love it when fanfics take this approach to Adrien's part in the Lila conflict. It's very cathartic to see his friends supporting him and protecting him from Lila.
I really have tried to see Volpina from the "Marinette was totally in the wrong" perspective because I've come across it several times, but I just can't wrap my head around it. If you've got a counter argument, then feel free to try to change my mind because I've given you my full thoughts here, but know that I'm probably not budging on this one. You'd have to make some pretty dramatic changes to canon for me to feel like this take has a point. I think the only way that I'd be on Lila's side is if it was very clear that no one believed Lila and Marinette still had the same reaction that we see in canon as that does feel like going too far. But everyone believed Lila so that's not a solid argument and I'm just never going to agree that people have to be cool with others lying about them just because they're famous. I honestly despise celebrity culture so much and hate that people are basically forced to deal with that bullshit if they want to be successful in certain artistic fields.
761 notes
·
View notes
Text
You were a ray of sunshine in the Batfamily's life. You loved the children and Bruce with your entire heart, and everyone took notice. You loved each of the family members differently but equally intensely. No kid ever felt unloved by you.
You softly hum as you trace Damian's face. He always struggled to sleep. He struggled to relax enough even with sleep medication aiding him most nights. Until you start humming softly and draw patterns on his face lightly. His entire body physically relaxes as his eyes flutter shut, his breathing evening out after a minute. His face subconsciously leans into your soothing touch.
With a tender smile on your face and a gentle forehead kiss, you moved onto the next Batboy who struggles with sleep: Dick. You knock your secret knock with a smile on your face. You had a soft spot for Dick the second the kid lost his parents. How could you possibly not when his small body shook so badly in your arms? He had the same tormented look Bruce used to have before your loving family formed.
You hear a soft but excited "come in" from Dick, who seemed to have still been getting ready for bed. He loved it when you told him stories above all else. You told him thousands of your stories, but he was always excited to listen to you talk about the moment you adopted him. You'd tell him about how much you loved him as you reminisced on the first time he called you mom. How your heart had never been so full of love and adoration for your kid. He wasn't an easy kid, but you loved him deeply, and you reminded him constantly.
Dick gives you a warm smile as you set down his nighttime tea: always chamomile with lemon and sugar cubes on the side. It had to be sugar cubes, as the packets tasted weird to him.
"What story do you want tonight, sweetheart?"
He surprised you, honestly, when he asked to hear about how you met Bruce. You chuckle softly.
"It was a rainy Thursday night. We both became vigilantes the same day and met during our nightly adventures. We looked at each other for a long time before we heard police sirens and ran towards it. I must have saved his life hundreds of times that night. We have been close together ever since."
Dick cuddles into his bed and looks at you with wide eyes. He was always excited to hear this story. With a look of adoration, he murmurs,
"And you give us a hard time about our recklessness."
You roll your eyes but can't fight the fond smile off your face. You gently play with Dick's hair, continuing your tale,
"I'm not the one charging into burning buildings nightly without superpowers, darling.
Dick and Bruce adored your moral compass more than anything. You always did what was right no matter how hard it was to do. You saved thousands of lives throughout the time you were a vigilante with Bruce. He called you rash every night because of the way you handled being a superhero, but you see the endangered people and never hesitate. You are immune to damage of all types, so it was easy to run into the thick of danger to save everybody from a burning building or from the Joker's psychopathic game. Joker was angry when he found out you couldn't get hurt. You don't even feel pain because of your powers. You weren't a fun target to him, so he gave up.
"I wish I could've met younger you. I love seeing my mom being a casual badass."
You laugh softly, giving him a cheek kiss as a goodnight. Batboy number 3 was Jason. Jason took after your personality more than the rest and defends you even when it's just reporters talking bad about you. You taught him how to love and accept being loved, despite everything. You taught him to look for the best in everyone because their stories often run deeper than the surface.
You can hear his excited steps as he lets you in. He held up the newest book he wanted to share with you. You read to him every night, as he finds your voice soothes him.
He drags you to his bedside and climbs into his bed. You kissed his forehead before starting to read the book. He knows he could listen to Audiobooks, but he found it was you that soothed him. He found the narrators of Audiobooks often annoying or dramatic, but you read the exact way he wants you to and at the perfect speed.
He was soon drifting off as well, your hand holding his and squeezing morse code messages into his hand. You kissed the tip of his nose gently before moving on.
By the time you were done with all the children, Bruce was back. You grabbed the first aid kid you keep in your shared room. Bruce must've had an easier night because his injuries weren't nearly as life-threatening as usual.
He hissed through his teeth as you cleaned his wounds, but you murmured reassuring words and held his hand with your free hand.
"Just a few more, baby. You're doing so good, my hero."
He squeezed your hand when you were done. His exhausted smile was still so full of love for you.
"We're so lucky to have you in our lives."
He kissed your cheek gently. He loved you deeply, even when it was hard for him to express it. Love truthfully scared him ever since his parents' deaths, but you were the ray of sunshine in his darkest of nights.
"I'm lucky to have my little army of heroes. I love you and the kids."
He gave a tired hum of acknowledgement.
"We all love you too."
Alfred, appearing as silently as ever at the doorway of the bedroom, said,
"Master Wayne, if you don't marry her, I will."
You laugh at Bruce's shocked expression. He whipped around to face Alfred, who was staring at him with a look that was so serious you couldn't help but smirk at. While you'd love to marry Bruce, you knew it wasn't that simple for him. He struggles with the idea of having a loving wife waiting for him. He doesn't feel like he deserves it at the moment, and you respect that. You will continue to be the mother of his children and the warm presence in his life. You voice your thoughts,
"Alfred, I don't need to marry Bruce to be part of the family."
Alfred raised an eyebrow at Bruce, but Bruce was in another place.
"That much is clear, but I still want you officially part of the family. You're the glue holding everyone together."
You smile at the duo. Family is so much deeper than blood, and you continue to prove it to the Bat family every day. You ruffle Bruce's hair gently.
"I'd never say no to my boys."
Bruce took Alfred's advice on your anniversary. He proposed in front of the entire family, which inevitably ended in a dog pile of hugs from all your boys and a sweet kiss from Bruce.
Bruce, your private and loving fiancée, confirmed the engagement to the world the next day, holding up your hand and giving it a gentle kiss. He held your engagement hand everywhere he went, the rest of the Bat family fighting to hold your other hand, eventually scheduling who holds your other hand in an endless cycle.
558 notes
·
View notes
Text
November 20th, 1971
#dc stargirl#stargirl#joel mchale#sylvester pemberton#starman#save stargirl#renew stargirl#never the end#save our superheroes#save the underdogs#bring back blue valley
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
How they approach you ✧ Check their Mars Sign
Mars symbolizes our energy, desires, and pursuit methods. It's associated with our passion, sex drive, and how we chase what we need. In relationships, Mars plays a significant role. It's about how we express our desires, assert ourselves, and handle conflict.
Photo credit @le.sinex
Mars in Aries
They're similar to determined marathon runners who charge forward with enthusiasm, undeterred by any obstacles. Just don't be surprised if they occasionally bump into a wall or two in their relentless pursuit.
Mars in Taurus They're the patient gardeners of love, carefully tending to their relationships like nurturing plants. They take their time to analyze the soil, wait for the perfect weather, and then make their move with unwavering determination.
Mars in Gemini They're the social chameleons of dating, adapting their approach to match the vibe of the person they're interested in. It's like they have a whole wardrobe of different personalities they can slip into, making them the masters of versatility.
Mars in Cancer They're the masters of dropping hints, leaving a trail of clues like a mischievous detective. They keep you on your toes with their mysterious and unpredictable behavior, making every interaction feel like an episode of a thrilling crime drama.
Mars in Leo They're the extravagant romantics, showering their love interest with grand gestures and lavish gifts. They believe in expressing themselves boldly and fearlessly, even if it means occasionally emptying their wallet in the process.
Mars in Virgo They're the undercover romantics, pretending to be cool and collected on the surface while secretly hoping for the other person to make the first move. It's like they're playing a game of emotional hide-and-seek, waiting for someone to uncover their hidden desires.
Mars in Libra They're the hesitant lovers, constantly second-guessing themselves and fearing rejection. They overanalyze every move and struggle with decision-making, like someone trying to choose the perfect Instagram filter for their relationship.
Mars in Scorpio They're the stealthy strategists, waiting in the shadows for the perfect moment to strike. They believe in the power of patience and calculated action, like a ninja plotting their next move.
Mars in Sagittarius They're the jacks-of-all-trades in the game of love. They have a bag full of tricks to please their partner, from witty banter to spontaneous adventures. They're like a one-person circus, always ready to entertain and surprise.
Mars in Capricorn They're the master manipulators, using their cunning and wit to get what they want. They play the game of love like a seasoned chess player, making calculated moves and occasionally catching their opponents off guard.
Mars in Aquarius They're the enigmatic superheroes, silently observing from the sidelines until they muster up the courage to reveal their feelings in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment. It's like they have a secret identity, waiting for the perfect time to save the day.
Mars in Pisces They're the poetic dreamers, expressing their feelings in intricate metaphors and whimsical prose. Trying to understand their emotions is like converting a riddle wrapped in a love letter, but once you unravel the mystery, it's like discovering a hidden treasure.
>> Back to Masterlist ✧ Explicit Content
Quick Access to : ❥ Astro / Asteroid Indicators ❥ Synastry / Composite Chart Observations ❥ House Stellium Observations ❥ Astro basic info / Brief reads ❥ Asteroid database ❥ Personal studies ✧ spiritual journal
Exclusive access : Patreon
/ instagram : @le.sinex / @botanicalsword
#astro community#astrology#astrology placement#overlays#synastry#synastry observations#astro#astro posts#astro observations#8 house synastry#mars signs#mars venus#relationship#love#valentines day#astrotips#astro notes#astro placements
2K notes
·
View notes
Photo
As much as I love the Robins getting some rad magic weapon power ups, can't stand that it had to happen in a "Bruce hits his kids" book that point blank calls Jason "the violent one" and makes his whole thing about Bruce not saving him.
Batman Vs. Robin #3 - “The Island” (2022)
written by Mark Waid art by Mahmud Asrar, Scott Godlewski, & Jordie Bellaire
#Jason's thing is about Bruce not AVENGING him#Bruce replacing him#Bruce's REACTIONS to his death#he's not unreasonable.#he understands Bruce couldn't save him#also#'the violent one '#gross#ew#and ESPECIALLY#Bruce hitting his kids#his kids literally wanting him dead#love how we can't seem to get past the Batman phase of#'here's our actual superhero,he adopts kids in need and put his life into helping his city#but also he doesn't actually like those kids and he's an abusive parent'#can we move past that shit now?#let Bruce care about his children?#let the Batfamily care about eachother?#it seems like authors say 'the kids cam get along and bruce is abusive or Bruce can be ok but the kids fucking hate eachother,pick one'
215 notes
·
View notes
Text
I had a dream you found me guilty again Evidence found on my necklace It wasn't real but I felt bad when I woke up I had a dream I held a press conference I was saving the world and they thought I was damaging it I said "we're just people" and eventually the crowd sympathized Then I went to a cottage with an average white man and a real housewife Were they ghosts of the past or more symbols of my guilt?
I had a dream it started again And when I awoke you lit the spark (Although I deserve to be burned I won't be around if the fire starts)
#man these fucked me up... my guess is just anxiety dreams but like getting universe vibes from that second one#or something like idk!!! I wish I had someone to spiritually advise me I feel like something is going on rn#ok but the second one was kinda wild tho I was on a superhero team and we had 'avengers' in our team name and people were like#'The real avengers are the only ones who are saving us' svdbbdbf was this in the mcu somehow?? and the real housewife was on the team#and she wasnt just one of them I feel like she kept changing which housewife she was lmao the mystique of real housewives I guess#I wish I remembered more cause it added context but yea#poetry#<- loose definition
0 notes
Text
One of the bats has to go undercover as a patient of a particularly suspect new and upcoming therapist. Bruce already has a backstory fleshed out and a cover identity, but that's no fun now is it.
Dick: Okay, the bat council is now in session. First things first-
Steph: I'm the realest.
Jason: Shut the fuck up.
Dick: No, no arguing. We're here on a MISSION.
Tim: That's right, a very important mission.
Dick: One of us has to go undercover as Dr. Hoffman's patient. But why? Why are we seeking therapy?
Tim: Wrong answers only. If any of you get too real, Dick can and will find you a real therapist.
Dick: And Tim, no superhero related answers. Bernard's PowerPoint nights give you too much of an advantage.
Tim: You're just jealous I know that Batman is actually a tulpa.
Jason: You shut the fuck up too.
---
Dick: Okay, I'll go first to get the obvious answer out of the way. I'm going because I'm secretly Batman, BUT I'm not here about that. I just have incredibly selective amnesia and can't remember the code to the Batmobile.
Jason: Oh that one's good. Let me think.
Steph: Hoffman is a man, right?
Dick: Right.
Steph: Easy, I'll claim womanly problems. Maybe get prescribed a vibrator.
Tim: *wheezes*
Dick: Ok Gotham's in the dark ages of psychology but not THAT much.
Steph: Spoilsport. Fine, I'm Batman's long lost twin sister.
Duke: Come on, we can't all go to therapy because of Batman.
Jason: I don't know, I feel like all of us should go to therapy because of Batman.
Cass: I'll go because I'm Batman.
Jason: I'd vote for you.
Duke: I think I would go because Metropolis isn't real.
Tim: Like, the whole city is-
Duke: It's a conspiracy. The government wants us to think there's this wonderful city where nothing bad ever happens and an actual alien from space saves the day. Tries to make us buy into some utopian bullshit.
Tim: Hoffman's just going to drive you there.
Duke: Ha! He's not getting ME to a secondary location. He might be in on it.
Steph: Compelling, definitely compelling. I nominate Duke's for first place.
Jason: Don't jump the gun.
Tim: Yeah, you haven't heard ours.
Steph: Well? Let's hear it then.
Tim: I'm an alien spy, sent here to study humans. Only I'm not doing well because I was taken in by rich people and they act weirder than me. I want to know what it means to be human, but whenever I look around all I see is how to make a good margarita. It makes me... sad.
Steph: That's no good. We said wrong answers only.
Jason: Solid four out of ten.
Tim: Fuck off.
Jason: I think I would go because I was convinced I was the second coming of Jesus which is all fine and good, but my whole family is Jewish so it's making things a little awkward at the dinner table.
Steph: You did come back from the dead.
Jason: I did and I'll tell him that. Took a little longer than three days this time, though.
Tim: Okay, I'll be honest. Jason and Duke's are the best.
Dick: Hold on- Damian, do you have an answer?
Damian: Of course. And not one so foolish.
Duke: Well?
Damian: Well, my whole family is comprised of vigilantes and I'm under a lot of stress to be one as well and continue the family tradition. I will of course swear him to secrecy and avoid naming any vigilantes by name.
Dick: ...
Jason: This is what I'm talking about. This is exactly what I'm-
Dick: Yes, okay. Game's over. All of you are getting psych referrals in your inbox by the morning.
Steph: What about-
Dick: Duke won.
#tim drake#dick grayson#jason todd#damian wayne#stephanie brown#cassandra cain#duke thomas#my writing tag#this is obviously a joke and not a real 1:1 representation of reasons to seek therapy#let's see how long before someone wildly misinterprets it#batfamily
3K notes
·
View notes