#❝ ✦ wanted storyline‚ ➤ wishing to tell this particular tale. ❞

[nctmyfather]

tag dump ; pt. one - ooc !!

❝ ✦ out of costume‚ ➤ get to know who is behind the mask. ❞ ❝ ✦ public notice‚ ➤ this is important to know. ❞ ❝ ✦ muse prompts‚ ➤ you don't need a reason to save people. ❞ ❝ ✦ mun prompts‚ ➤ despite it all‚ i’m still in love with life. ❞ ❝ ✦ starter call‚ ➤ i summoned you‚ please come to me. ❞ ❝ ✦ inbox call‚ ➤ let me come to you for chaos. ❞ ❝ ✦ shipping call‚ ➤ let's see if we can make things work. ❞ ❝ ✦ plotting call‚ ➤ a story yet to be told. ❞ ❝ ✦ wanted dynamic‚ ➤ hoping to build bonds with others. ❞ ❝ ✦ wanted storyline‚ ➤ wishing to tell this particular tale. ❞ ❝ ✦ self promotion‚ ➤ don't forget‚ i'm... invincible. ❞ ❝ ✦ promotion‚ ➤ shouting out my fellow superheroes. ❞ ❝ ✦ dash game‚ ➤ having a day off from saving the world. ❞ ❝ ✦ dash commentary‚ ➤ adding our two cents to the situation. ❞ ❝ ✦ crack‚ ➤ goofing off and having fun. ❞ ❝ ✦ queue‚ ➤ waiting is the best and worst part. ❞

[eternal-honeyy]

What Lies Buried A Luminary Oneshot

Astarion Ancunin x fReader!

Synopsis: In Smallest Star; Unknown we learned of Ottilie, Tav and Astarion's suspected daughter, but where exactly did her name come from? Well, a tale telling of one of the duo's many small adventures together reveals this, and more.

Or, alternatively: How an act of selflessness becomes a coincidence so unbelievable that it may not be one at all in 2,800 words or less.

Note: This fic takes place within the same storyline as my fics, Smallest Star; Unknown and Crawling Ever Upward, both of which you can read here if you'd like some additional context. This story in particular occurs not too long after the events of Smallest Star; Unknown, and was inspired by an ask I received wondering about some of the then unmentioned details of the story. I hope you enjoy! :)

Luminary Masterlist

As Astarion trudged through the thick underbrush at your side, he could not help but wonder for the one millionth time why in the Hells he had followed you here.

Of course, deep down he knew the answer to such a question. That even if he wasn't quite ready to admit it, he felt concern at the idea that you might otherwise be alone for such an emotional venture.

Because that's what this was, wasn't it?

You were going off, whether he liked it or not, to clean yet another grouping of untended graves, because that was what you always did when you saw those crumbling and moss covered monuments of death and memorial.

Every. Single. Time. No matter how often it meant turning back the very way you had just came after helping to set up camp.

"Any of those graves could be his."

Was what you had said when Astarion had finally asked why you were bothering to spend so much time and energy on something as selfless and futile as cleaning off the monuments of Faerûn's long forgotten dead.

And what was he supposed to say to that if not offer to go with you?

How else was he supposed to react to that reminder of what you had lost? Of who you were searching for with every passing breath and each twitching movement of your gaze.

When you spoke of him, you were no longer his fearless leader, or even the one he so begrudgingly called a friend, but rather that same scared little half-drow girl that you had been back when your father had given you up for what he had been manipulated to believe was the better.

You did not speak often of your childhood, or rather, that loveless angry thing that had been known by the name, but even so, Astarion knew enough.

He knew that you were the child of a Lolth-sworn drow woman and a man of unknown race, and that upon your mother's untimely demise from an illness your young mind had not understood, your dear father, who you spoke of with such reverence and care, had been manipulated by his deceased wife's family to to believe that he could not raise you properly because of your drow heritage, in spite of the fact that his lover had left it behind so willingly.

And so, he had given you up, tearfully and with a great heaving sadness, to your grandmother and aunt, who had taken you far away from the sun and into the depths of The Underdark, where you had been raised from the age of seven and long into adulthood in Menzoberranzan, that great drow city where your mother had been brought up before you.

You rarely spoke of your time down there, in spite of the fact that it had made up the majority of your life, but from the little you had said, the vampire could tell that it had been a time hard lived.

Your grandmother and aunt, true to their Lolth-sworn heritage, were all but strangers to kindness, their impatience vast and their tolerance for failure so minuscule that it may as well have been nonexistent. They wanted to raise you to be the strong and unrelenting woman that your mother had failed to be, and when you could not give them that merciless and borderline cruel nature that they wished for, they made their disappointment known.

And you'd never said it aloud, but it had been a lonely life down there in The Underdark, feeling as if you were the only half-drow in all of Menzoberranzan, and being treated as such. To some, raising a child of your heritage was a greater shame than birthing a third son was to a Lolth-sworn drow woman.

So, of course, when the time had come where it was possible for you to leave, you had jumped at the opportunity, and for the first time in so very many years,

You saw the sun again.

And now, all that you yearned for was to find your father beneath its heavy, heated glare, regardless of whether or not he still lived.

You knew not of his race, nor of how he looked so many years later, so all you had to go off of was a last name, nearly forgotten and foreign on your tongue in spite of it being your own, and a first one, known only from a shred of a diary entry found in your mother's old bedroom in your teenage years.

You could only hope that it belonged to him, and that the "dearest love" that she had written about was not some young drow boy known by your mom in her youth, when she had called Menzoberranzan a home rather than a prison.

And so, at each decrepit and unkempt little graveyard or lone headstone, you stopped and spent hours upon hours of your day cleaning off the names of people who had long since become ancestors to even those that themselves no longer walked the earth.

And while Astarion did not find much sense in this strange use of your time, he found that he could not fault you for it.

So caring for long dead things, so ceaseless in your need to give memory to the forgotten,

And what was he if not just that?

Long dead.

Forgotten.

He went with you to every ridiculous headstone cleaning after you'd answered that question for him.

He dulled his blade on stone cutting through cold and dampened moss, pricked his fingers pulling at long overgrown thorns, and filled his mind with the names of those that (hopefully) rested at peace beneath their markers.

And of course, that was why the two of you were here.

Trudging through the thick wooded forest because hours prior you had spotted some long abandoned grave plot while searching for a pond to bathe yourself in.

And what else were you meant to do if not tend to those old and nature burdened stones?

"Almost there, I promise."

You said quietly, doing your best to appease your companion before those words of complaint could rise to his lips, an act of familiarity that, if not for how distracted he was with not tripping over tree roots, may have disquieted the man walking at your side.

Astarion scoffed in response, but opted to otherwise remain silent, not quite willing to admit just how okay he felt with these ridiculous misadventures as long as they were spent at your side, and as long as they were spent doing something, anything right for the first time in centuries.

And so, the two of you walked in a comfortable silence for several more minutes through twisted trees and unkempt shrubbery, until finally you came upon a sun dappled clearing, in the middle of which sat four long abandoned headstones, all of them cracked and crumbling into near disrepair.

Astarion sighed,

"My dear, these are utterly pitiful."

And though he did not see it, he felt you shrug in response from where you stood at his side, allowing a few long seconds to take everything in before you stepped forward further, pulling a bar of heavy duty soap out of your pack.

"Guess we'd better get to work then." You reasoned, kneeling in front of the closest concrete slab and inspecting it slowly before raising the tip of your dagger to the moss that covered its markings.

Astarion watched you for several moments, admiring the way that your blade slid masterfully between rough stone and soft greenery, removing the mass in one careful slice that sent it sliding to the ground with a rather unattractive sounding 'plop'.

At that, the vampire sighed again, and then moved to stand at the grave a few feet to your right, his blade at the ready, never one to be bested by the knife work of another, even if (and perhaps even especially if), that other was you.

And soon enough, the two of you were scrubbing, scraping, and slicing away at moss, dirt, thorns, and whatever else had grown to hide the memorial stones of these people, who you both soon came to find had the same last name.

"A family plot." You said upon realizing, your fingers tracing over the letters of their shared last name, that beautiful thing among them that they'd all shared, and perhaps even still did, even in death, bound by that at least, if nothing else.

"Ugh, imagine,"

Astarion muttered, his nose crinkled in disgust,

"Buried amongst your family for the rest of time. How boring"

You cracked a smile at that, your eyes rolling as you hacked away at a particularly stubborn branch of thorns,

"You would think so, wouldn't you?"

And though he knew you hadn't meant it that way, Astarion was quick to quip back,

"Well, you know me, darling. I'm not too keen on staying buried."

You had stopped the incessant seesawing of your blade at that, eyes moving upward to find his own, seeking out any sign of discomfort or sorrow, probing him for some evidence that he was upset over what you'd said.

He hated when you did that.

It made him think you cared.

It made him worry you cared.

So, instead of commenting further, he simply looked away, refusing to meet your eyes even when you called out to him quietly, that edge of concern to your voice that always made his spine stiffen and his heart lurch.

He had no desire for anyone's pity, much less yours.

The two of you sat in silence for several long minutes, until finally, you spoke up again, the sound of your blade on thorns returning alongside your voice.

"Well, as selfish as it may be, I'm glad that you didn't."

Astarion did not reply,

But he quietly muddled over the idea that he might be too, if only just a little.

After that, the very same comfortable silence from before fell upon you again while you worked, the hours passing in a haze of slicing blades, frothing soap, and pouring water.

Until finally, the job was done.

The two of you stood in the center of the clearing, a few feet away from the small cluster of monuments, your hands upon your hips, as you both admired your work.

You had done what you could to clean and repair the damaged stones, and honestly, the cleaning alone had made all the difference.

No longer did these tombstones look abandoned and forgotten, and no longer were the names unspoken and unknown.

You jotted them down in your little notebook the way that you always did, and let them float off of your tongue as naturally as your mouth would allow.

They were known to you now, and you would take them with you on all of your travels, their memory no longer faded or at risk of vanishing now that your lips knew their weight.

That was the part that meant the most to you.

You hoped that your father had received a similar kindness, if his feet no longer walked the earth as yours did.

And walk they did, though perhaps not as gracefully as you may have wanted, a fact which was only further proven by the sudden shout of surprise you let out as you stumbled forward, only just barely catching yourself upon the forearm of your far more stable and agile companion.

Astarion's mind briefly wandered, making its way back to the last night you had spent in his tent, when your hands had grasped so fearfully at him, seeking out comfort where there had feasibly been none.

Though, he was soon brought right back to reality as he heard you gasp softly, his eyes falling to your form as you crouched beside his feet.

"What is i-"

Astarion cut himself off as he took a proper look toward the space where your eyes were trained, noting for the very first time since your joint arrival the presence of a fifth headstone, several yards away from the rest, in a far more decrepit state than the others had been in.

The elf watched as you cleared away at some of the underbrush surrounding the stone, removing that which had hidden it from view before.

"Woah."

You muttered beneath your breath, fingers tracing at the moss in search of a date that you could hope to make out without the help of your blade.

"This one is way older than the others."

You remarked, readying your dagger after a few seconds of contemplation.

"Good for one more?"

Your gaze was almost pleading as you looked up at him, and though Astarion very nearly groaned in response to your question, something about the lonely grave called out to him, filling his chest with some foreign sense of longing.

He needed to see this stone returned to some semblance of upkeep, even if he didn't quite understand why.

Not that you could ever know that.

An impatient click of his tongue, one of his favored shows of annoyance, and then,

"I suppose. Let's make it quick."

And at that, he knelt down at your side, blade at the ready, and got to work.

It took quite some time, that old headstone, the old rock all but dyed a swampish looking green by moss and time until you took an entire bar of soap to it in order to wash it clean.

But Gods, did it feel worth it when it was done.

The two of you leaned back on your forearms beside one another, gazing at the now far nicer looking stone before you.

It was different from the rest, older, as you had said, and bearing a different last name, perhaps the one that had come before the family had gained that which the rest had died with, be it through marriage or some other less traditional means.

Still, it was not the age, nor the difference in name that struck you,

But rather the apparent youth of the person that it memorialized.

"She was but a babe."

You commented softly as your hand brushed away at the ground, clearing a few stray leaves, though Astarion knew from having watched your personal little memorial rituals that you were more than likely trying to give some comforting attention to the child who rested far beneath where your hands could hope to reach.

"Three years."

Astarion replied, his own palm falling to the ground and remaining steady there, as if he could hope to heat it with a hand devoid of warmth, all too aware of how cold the dirt could be, so far below.

He hoped she had been buried lovingly, and in warm clothes that her mother had once held her close in.

He hoped she had been mourned in the way that she doubtlessly deserved.

"Not nearly long enough." You remarked, sighed as you leaned forward to brush a slight dusting of dirt off the O in her name, "Not for how long she must have laid forgotten here, unknown."

Astarion frowned at the thought, and soon found himself shaking his head in response,

"Well not any longer." He murmured, standing slowly, trying to keep his mind from racing in spite of the strange coincidence sitting before him, and in spite of his vivid former dream, the one that plagued him so at every passing evening when he hoped silently for it to return, if only for a moment. "We will remember. She will be known."

With a nod, you rose as well, standing alongside him with a subtle smile, heart clearly feeling more at ease at your companion's uncharacteristically kind words. "That's right, she will."

And then, as you always did, you spoke the title of your newest friend, this time with even more kindness than usual.

"Ottilie."

You murmured, her name falling off of your lips as if it had always been there, as if she were some long loved friend bearing a name that you said so often that it came as second nature to utter it.

Astarion sighed shakily, but nodded, his mouth twitching upward slightly as he reached out to place his hand upon the stone,

"Ottilie."

[sailforvalinor]

1-8 for Echo North, 11-15 for Rose in Bloom, 16-18 & 20 for Eight Cousins, and 1-4 & 16-20 for Wingfeather, please?

Echo North:

1. What got you into this story?

I think I stumbled across it by chance while looking for something to read on Libby, and it sounded interesting.

2. Describe it in one or two sentences.

A Beauty and the Beast retelling that draws influence from Eros and Psyche, as well as other related Beast-as-Bridegroom stories. Magical, mysterious, and romantic!

3. Quickly list 3 things you like about this story.

I ended up really liking the main character (which is pretty rare for me these days with YA), the worldbuilding is absolutely gorgeous, and I liked its take on the “Beast.”

4. assign this story a hyperspecific genre name.

Beast-as-Bridegroom casserole.

5. Do you have a favorite character?

Probably Hal/The Wolf, though I was fond of Echo’s brother, too.

6. Do you have a least favorite character?

I wasn’t very fond of Echo’s father. WHY on EARTH did you marry that woman??

7. How does the story compare to your initial impressions of it? Has it surprised you? How?

To be honest, it’s been awhile, so I don’t really remember my first impressions. But I did love being surprised by just how many influences and references to other fairy tales (and fairly obscure ones, at that) there were throughout, especially the Tam Lin reference near the end. But it also had some really nice worldbuilding and story that was entirely its own, I don’t want to undersell that.

8. What questions are or were you most excited to learn the answers to while experiencing the story for the first time?

I was really intrigued as to how it would handle the Beast/Eros figure, and I was NOT disappointed.

Rose in Bloom:

11. If you were put in the main character’s position, how well would that go with you on a scale from 1-5?

I’d say a 4? I’m not as social as Rose, so parties would be interesting, to say the least, but otherwise I’d think I’d do pretty okay in that environment.

12. Assuming your loved ones would be there, would you want to live in the world of the story?

Why not? I don’t have a particular hankering to live there, but I’m certainly not against it.

13. Tell me an out-of-context piece of worldbuilding or lore.

Technically Eight Cousins lore, but Alec was in love with Rose’s mom (before she was Rose’s mom, of course), and it took me till my THIRD REREAD to pick up on that.

14. How likely do you think this story is to break a person’s heart?

This isn’t an inherently heartbreaking story, but because it’s fundamentally so cozy I think the reader is in some serious danger of being caught VERY off-guard by the ending of Charlie’s storyline, especially if they haven’t read Alcott before and aren’t familiar with how she handles serious subject matter.

15. What time are you most likely to be found reading/watching this story?

I don’t really have a specific time, but I do usually reread this book at some point every year.

Eight Cousins:

16. Do you think this story has broad appeal, or is it meant for a very specific audience? If it’s more niche, what kind of person would enjoy this story?

Fairly broad, I think? This story doesn’t have any romance, so I really think it appeals to anyone who’s just looking for a light, sweet read.

17. Compare this story to your usual tastes. How does it differ from what you’ve already enjoyed?

My usual tastes are either fantasy, mystery, or Alcott/Austen/Montgomery-style, and this definitely falls squarely into that last camp. I will say though, I don’t usually read books that are as episodic in nature as this one is—the only other one I’ve really read and enjoyed was Partners in Crime by Agatha Christie.

18. Compare this story to your usual tastes. What parts of it are exactly the kind of thing you’ve always loved?

Found family (though in this case, also actual family), the story has a strong moral backbone, and it’s very dialogue-heavy.

20. What’s the WORST thing about this story, in your opinion?

I do wish we could’ve gotten a little bit more about Will and Geordie—they feel a little underdeveloped at times compared to the rest of the cousins.

Wingfeather Saga:

1. What got you into this story?

I’ve listened to Andrew Peterson’s music since I was practically an infant—he’s one of my dad’s favorite artists—and grew up on his and Randall Goodgame’s children’s album, Slugs and Bugs. I didn’t find out he had written a fantasy series until I saw the first book in my youth minister’s living room when I was a preteen, and me and my youth minister’s daughter read it around the same time.

2. Describe it in one or two sentences.

One group of siblings’ trip to their village festival kicks off an epic quest for the redemption of their family, their homeland, and the world.

3. Quickly list 3 things you like about the story.

It is undeniably beautiful and hopeful but also unapologetic about talking about evil, the true ugliness of it, and its consequences, I absolutely love Janner as a main character and relate to him so much, and I love its poetic language.

4. Assign this story a hyper-specific genre.

Hopeful tragicomic family fantasy epic.

16. Do you think this story has broad appeal, or is it meant for a very specific audience? If it’s more niche, what kind of person would enjoy this story?

I think it is very clearly appealing to those who already like fantasy (especially Tolkien and Lewis), and while it’s a “children’s” series, I think it’s meant to appeal to all ages. It is very obviously a Christian story to me, but I do wonder how easily it might fly under the radar from a secular perspective? I think it could for the first book or two, at least.

17. Compare this story to your usual tastes. How does it differ from what you’ve already enjoyed?

I don’t normally love stories that end like *REDACTED*. This is an exception.

18. Compare this story to your usual tastes. What parts of it are exactly the kind of thing you’ve always loved?

The epic fantasy, the redemption arcs, the strong coming-of-age story—really, this whole series is EXACTLY up my alley.

19. Pitch an idea for a sequel or a spinoff novel for this story?

I’m trying to avoid the VERY obvious sequel potential here about *REDACTED*, though I desperately want it…lemme think…

Personally, I think it could be really interesting to see a story about Kalmar and his rule as king, picking up in his mid-to-late teens.

Alternately—a prequel about Esben and Artham. We all want it! We all want their antics and adventures! We all want to see Artham in his lady-killer era!

[starkjoy]

not tomsh*vs being incapable of understanding that some ppl have different taste than they do…

i’m happy if they’re enjoying their dynamic this season! good for them. i wish i could enjoy a narratively inconsistent storyline which undermines seasons’ worth of previous characterizations with contrite cliches, but alas. maybe my feelings will change depending on how everything wraps up, but personally not a fan at the moment. doesn’t mean i don’t like tomsh*v in theory or haven’t in the past—this season just feels like a sad departure from what made them so compelling.

what’s funny to me is them latching onto the “cycles of abuse never ending” as this fated conclusion that must come to pass, so therefore by the transitive property tom and shiv staying together and being miserable again is “correct.” i’m very aware of that particular thesis of the show, and i do expect that several plot threads will end up quite circular, but if every storyline does? if that’s the tale jesse wants to tell, fine. doesn’t mean it’s not boring or not satisfying. i personally thought dany’s demise in the finale of got made sense narratively, so I get their position, but that doesn’t mean the legions of fans who were upset and offended by the choice were wrong in feeling so. same situation here, imo.

[mediaevalmusereads]

A True Account: Hannah Masury's Sojourn Amongst the Pyrates, Written By Herself. By Katherine Howe. Henry Holt, 2023.

Rating: 3/5 stars

Genre: historical fiction

Series: N/A

Summary: In Boston, as the Golden Age of Piracy comes to a bloody close, Hannah Masury – bound out to service at a waterfront inn since childhood – is ready to take her life into her own hands. When a man is hanged for piracy in the town square and whispers of a treasure in the Caribbean spread, Hannah is forced to flee for her life, disguising herself as a cabin boy in the pitiless crew of the notorious pirate Edward "Ned" Low. To earn the freedom to choose a path for herself, Hannah must hunt down the treasure and change the tides.

Meanwhile, professor Marian Beresford pieces Hannah’s story together in 1930, seeing her own lack of freedom reflected back at her as she watches Hannah's transformation. At the center of Hannah Masury’s account, however, lies a centuries-old mystery that Marian is determined to solve, just as Hannah may have been determined to take it to her grave.

Content Warnings: violence, reference to disordered eating, blood, gore

Overview: This book was on a "most anticipated" list for 2023 historical fiction. I love a good pirate story, so I figured I'd go ahead and grab a copy. There were some things that I found fun about this book, but I ultimately felt I couldn't give it a higher rating because A.) the 1930s storyline didn't feel purposeful, and B.) there wasn't much about Hannah's story that made it feel fresh. Still, if you're looking for a swashbuckling treasure hunt, you may like this book; personally, I just wanted something a little meatier.

Writing: Howe's prose is fairly literary and full of evocative description. I wouldn't call it lyrical or purple, but it does have some lovely atmospheric passages and apt metaphors. The prose also flows fairly well and appropriately balances showing and telling. Occasionally, I felt like there was some overuse of questions to further the suspense, but that's probably personal preference - I'm not a fan of the technique.

My main complaint, however, is that I didn't feel like Howe incorporated her themes well, and a lot of her potential commentary or messaging got lost. If this book was supposed to be about (queer) women living life on their own terms, it really didn't feel like Howe gave her characters much drive to do that. Hannah was bound by secrecy in order to protect herself, and Marian felt like she was constantly seeking approval from her father. If the book was supposed to be about something else, well... I think Howe could have worked in her themes a little better, and doing so would have created a stronger link between Hannah and Marian.

Plot: The plot of this book follows two timelines: 1.) In the 18th century, tavern maid Hannah Masury disguises herself as a boy and sets sail with notorious pirate Ned Lowe after getting caught up in a murder; 2.) In the 1930s, Professor Marian Beresford combs through Hannah's account for clues as to the location of a pirate treasure in the Caribbean.

Hannah's adventure was fun, hitting all the beats one would expect from a pirate story. There wasn't much about it that set it apart from other pirate tales I've read, but even so, I had a good time reading it. I do wish that the treasure hunt had been a little more symbolic or was a means to a different end; looking for treasure in itself because it is treasure is a little dull unless you're playing around with themes such as greed and ambition, but Hannah's story didn't feel like it was doing that.

Characters: Hannah, our 18th century protagonist, is fun to follow and fairly easy to root for, but I think I would have liked her better if she had shown more agency. I was very sympathetic to her plight and hoped she would do well aboard the pirate ship, but I was also a little frustrated because Hannah didn't seem to have any particular desires or skills. As a result, I didn't feel like she was making her own way in the world, just reacting to it. She didn't seem to have a strong desire for freedom, and her attitude towards sea life was rather neutral. I couldn't tell if she wanted to help find the treasure because she had a strong desire to live independently or if she went along with the hunt because she was pulled along on the adventure.

Marian's narrative was altogether different. While I had a lot of fun with Hannah, Marian's story felt slow and without purpose. I couldn't determine why it mattered so much that Hannah's account was real or made up (as a lit PhD, I see value in studying fiction from the past), and I had a hard time believing that a checked out professor would agree to take an undergraduate on a treasure hunt. I also didn't hold much affection for Marian herself, so that might have influenced my attitude as well.

Above all, I found the ending something of an anti-climax. When we learn about Marian's student and her motivations, I couldn't help but feel it was a little contrived. It also reflected badly on Marian and made me think even less of her as a supposed academic and historian.

Marian, our 1930s protagonist, is a little hard to like because she seems disconnected and sometimes callous. While I could get invested in an arc where she starts out disconnected and becomes more engaged, Marian didn't really seem to "come alive" with academic enthusiasm once she read Hannah's account. Oh, she wanted to find the treasure, but I didn't believe that she cared one way or the other about it as it related to her work. Marian also didn't use the treasure hunt as an opportunity to escape from the oppressive aspects of academia, and even if academia was supposed to be oppressive, we aren't shown how (other than maybe it being boring). Thus, Marian's reasoning for wanting to pursue the treasure was unclear; at times, she seemed to have a mild curiosity, and at others, she seemed to want to boost her reputation. She does say that she wants to prove herself to her father, but I wasn't sure what she was trying to prove since she didn't seem to care about her historical work or her teaching. Not even her queer subplot feels high stakes because she doesn't really seem to care about her job (and thus, losing it by being outed wouldn't be the worst thing in the world), nor did I get the sense that her queerness was what caused the rift with her father. Marian also feels somewhat hypocritical in that she criticizes her student, Kay, for divulging information about their treasure hunt to the press, but Marian herself blabs about all kinds of details when confronted with 2 reporters.

Supporting characters were perfectly fine, though my opinion of them varies. I very much liked Seneca, the quartermaster, whose backstory hints at being an escaped slave and who takes Hannah under his wing. Seneca's motivations are mysterious, but it's evident that he's a good man, even if he's a pirate. I disnt quite buy his relationship with Hannah towards the end of the story, but its such a small part that I dont think i can complain too much.

Ned Low, on the other hand, didn't strike a very imposing figure. He was capricious and violent, but rather than make him stand out, such changeability only made it hard to get a handle on him. As a result, I felt like he was something of a non-entity, just a vehicle for senseless violence. The same was true of Will Fly; while his hanging supposedly has a bug impact on Hannah, it didn't have much of an impact on me, the reader, so I wasn't convinced that he was important.

TL;DR: A True Account is a rather middling pirate story with a fun yet surface-level adventure at the heart. Despite one POV character being unlikable and the 1930s plot being rather empty, the swashbuckling story was enjoyable enough, and it may appeal to lovers of pirate tales.

The 1930s supporting characters were also somewhat varied. Kay, Marian's student, was initially likeable for her enthusiasm and her desire for adventure. Over time, however, she became ridiculous. She grated on me when she blabbed to the press, and her motivations for seeking adventure felt a little far-fetched (surely there are better ways and why would the Press care so much about a random student anyway?).

Marian's father also didn't feel like much of a person. He's a famous explorer, but there wasn't much about his characterization that made me sympathize with Marian's desire to earn his approval. I wasn't dazzled by his exploits or by his knowledge of pirate history, and there weren't any anecdotes that hinted at an emotional rift between father and daughter. He just kind of seemed to be there, and he was only important because he was funding the expedition.

[ktinastrikesback]

Alright, here it is: The meta post about Eddie Diaz and mother figures and how it all leads to Buddie (I think). Thanks to @yramesoruniverse for your help with this, and @kitkatpancakestack and @evanbucklies for inspiring it! I really have been thinking about this nonstop and had to get it all down. This got quite long, so I'll include a cut in order to spare everyone who doesn't want to continue reading!

We first get an idea of Eddie's complicated thoughts surrounding mother figures throughout his whole storyline with Shannon in season 2 when he romantically reconnects with her for Christopher's benefit. I do want to keep the focus here trained on Eddie in season 4, but I want to point out a season 2 line that is pretty fitting. As much as I don't want to use a Shannon quote as a starting point for a meta, I think this one is actually pretty useful: "...Eddie always knows what's best for everyone...God forbid you stop for a second and actually ask them what they need." While it's harsh and spoken out of spite, Shannon does make a point here which becomes relevant at the end of season 4.

We don't know a whole lot about season 4 Eddie (thanks writers) aside from the fact that he's working on being a single father (he tells Marjan in the crossover that he's "doing the whole single dad thing") and being a support system for Buck and the rest of the 118. Eddie's "arc" this season is moving on from Shannon and beginning to date again (a very small and limited arc, which hopefully season 5 will remedy). Of course, because it's Eddie, the core of this arc is him wanting what is best for Christopher. And it seems pretty clear that what Eddie thinks Chris needs is a complete family with a mother figure (note how he asks Bobby if he's "happy now, with Athena and the kids" and just assumes that Bobby is talking about Ana Flores), but the universe pushes against this idea throughout the whole season. There are a lot of examples in season 4 of unreliable mother figures (for example, the alcoholic mother who causes the wreck in Blindsided), but in order to save some space here, I'll list and discuss those in another post. The main thing I want to point out is that we've seen that mother figures aren't always perfect, and they aren't the end all be all that Eddie thinks. And canonically, the show suggests several times throughout the season that the partner that Eddie needs/wants and who is best for Chris is actually Buck.

In Breaking Point, while Eddie is on his date, it's Buck who is at home taking care of Christopher and getting him through his nighttime routine (which establishes that he knows the routine and has gotten Chris ready for bed before, hence the reference to his "cautionary tale"). On the date, when Ana says that no one has been in his life since Shannon passed away, Eddie noticeably looks uncomfortable (the will reveal makes this scene and that particular comment and Eddie's subsequent reaction so rich. Eddie knows that what Ana is saying is completely untrue, because the person he trusts most with his son is with him at that exact moment). Later, when Eddie tells Christopher about his new 'friend', he says "it's a woman." And...to be honest, what the hell was that? He could have said, "I'm dating someone" or "I have a girlfriend." But he says it like this? And it's weird...right? Christopher is the one who has to say "girlfriend." Also his tone of voice when he says it...it's suspicious to me. Anyways...Eddie talks with Ana about Christopher's reaction and her first instinct is to take a break and wait for Christopher to warm up to the idea so as to not cause him more pain. Meanwhile, Chris is out the door, in an Uber, and on his way to Buck, the person who actually gets Chris to talk about his feelings and who fixes the whole mess. So while Eddie is talking with Ana, Buck is playing a parental role AND promising Chris he isn't going anywhere, completely juxtaposing everything Ana has said and done in this episode (throwback to Fools, anyone?). Just like we see in 4x14, the perfect partner that Eddie is looking for is already putting in the work, no questions asked (and this is all before Buck knows about the will!). Yet Eddie is still trying to force it with Ana.

We see this again very briefly in Parenthood. Eddie and Buck are seen agreeing on parenting ideals on a call, similar to how we saw them work together in Future Tense to talk Chris out of playing video games. At the end of the episode however, when Chris asks to join the movie, Ana just jumps ahead and lets him in, not consulting with Eddie. Of course, this isn't a serious issue and Eddie is happy to have Chris join them, but it still carries on with juxtaposing Ana with Buck. It's also a bit interesting that Chris sits between them, parallel to the video game scene from season 3. But again, it's a very brief scene, so I don't know how much value it has overall.

We see all of this come to a head in 4x13 when Eddie becomes invested in the single mother and her son from the balcony call. Interestingly, this call happens after Eddie's conversation with Carla ("make sure you're following your heart"). On the call, Eddie flirts with the mom. This is interesting because we've seen many times in the past that Eddie...doesn't like flirting, especially on the job. Eddie openly flirting with the mom here may be his way of fighting against what his instincts are telling him Carla's comment was about (him liking Buck/a man). Eddie quickly becomes invested in Charlie (the son) and takes a liking to his mother because he relates to her. You can kind of see the gears working in Eddie's head when he's at their apartment...he's admiring her and perhaps maybe fantasizing about having a partner who gets it. And he sees a mother taking care of her son...reinforcing his love for the mother figure. But of course, we all learn by the end of the episode that this mother figure is extremely warped and not at all what her child needs.

The best part about this plot is the way it plays into the shooting scene at the end of the episode. Just before he gets shot, we see Eddie in an interesting framing choice (I am genuinely serious when I say that I want to sit down with Brenna Malloy and ask her about her directing choices for this whole scene):

The mother and son are placed into separate ambulances, and Eddie stands between the two vehicles. Visually, Eddie is literally placed between the mother figure and the son, and Buck is standing in front of him (at a slight distance). As (thank you to @kitkatpancakestack for pointing this out!) the ambulance with the mother drives away, Eddie says "shoulda gotten here sooner" to Buck (who replies, "That kid is just lucky he met you." He knows how to reassure Eddie and recognizes what is good for the child). Then of course, Eddie gets shot. But let's focus instead on why this framing before the shooting is important: the universe does scream, and it sure as hell was screaming at Eddie this whole episode. Carla calls him out for not following his heart, he idolizes this mother only for her to end up being horrid, then he gets shot with his partner standing right in front of him (you know, the same person who takes care of his son for the entirety of the next episode).

This can be read so plainly: Eddie has been fighting hard for what he thinks is best for his son, and he's stuck in this relationship with Ana because he thinks she is what will make Christopher happy. Meanwhile, Buck is in front of him and has been there the entire time putting in the work with Chris and making him feel heard, loved, and important. This ties right back to that Shannon line: if Eddie had simply asked Christopher what he needs/wants, it's very possible that his answer would be "Buck." Eddie doesn't need to be stuck in the middle of this relationship he doesn't care about because Chris' happiness is not dependent on having a mother figure.

Of course, we didn't see very much of Eddie in 4x14 so we don't really know what is going through his head regarding the shooting or Carla's comment just yet, but I'm hoping we see a lot of him working through all of the events that took place in 4x13/14 throughout next season. Because of the way the mother/son storyline ended up and the way they framed Eddie in the shooting scene, I'm willing to bet that he's going to be reevaluating just what Christopher needs and what he already has (with his Buck).

(Also side note--the welcome home party scene...when Buck is watching Eddie greet Christopher, notice the framing there too. The photo of Chris and Shannon is on the right side of the frame, Eddie and Chris in the middle, and Buck to the left. You already know what I'm going to say, so I'll leave it at that...)

Anyways. Edmundo Diaz is confused about what he and Christopher need, and it's actually a brilliant way to dive into a storyline about his sexuality and his feelings for Buck. Remember that post-finale interview with Tim where he said Eddie is always concerned with what's best for Christopher? That there will be a lot to explore with Eddie? I take everything Tim says with a grain of salt, but looking at all of this, there's quite a bit here pointing in the direction of pining Eddie. It's not wishful thinking, it's in the text.

I'm literally just applying basic film analysis to these scenes...and everything is adding up to a larger picture. I'm really excited to see what Eddie's arc in season 5 will be because there's so much set in place for it to be really great.

[treatutoameal]

i have the personality of a 2 year old learning how to play match the shape which is why i'm reading up on the og material that inspired youth of may's storyline (aside from the real-life events) and i'm surprised to find out that 80% of the show characters are born out of writers' creative freedom! in the grand scheme of things, the four main characters actually represent the youth as a whole at that time (duh, the drama title says it all but let me dig more into the book, there might be spoilers)

the book that the drama writers based the story on is titled 오월의 달리기 / running in may / may's race (?) - it's a fairy tale by writer kim hae-won that won the changwon children's literature award, and was first published on may 18 2013.

the difference is that the book deals with the story of 13-year-old myungsoo (myunghee's brother in the drama) who was selected as a rep runner of the south jeolla province at the national youth sports festival and lived in gwangju in 1980 when protests demanding democratization continued every day.

while researching gwangju's history during that time, writer kim hae-won contacted a track and field athlete after seeing an article that the national youth festival was postponed due to the 5.18 pro-democracy movement back then (it will most likely be cancelled in the drama too, poor kiddos omg). the athlete turned out to be a national student at the time and lived in a dormitory in gwangju so the book is the product of her research and meticulous coverage.

and rather than emphasizing the painful wounds of the may 18 pro-democracy movement, the book focuses on showing the life of children who lived during that period. it depicts the life of myungsoo, an ordinary child who dreamed of becoming a national representative athlete, who wanted to be recognized by his father, and tried hard to beat his rival friend jungtae (heetae's brother). the book delves into painful history and the despair suffered during that time through children's lens and is even used as learning curriculum in schools to make children wonder why the may 18 pro-democracy movement that destroyed this child's life took place at all

writer's notes: "it’s good to be careful when talking about the may 18 pro-democracy movement in class. it is not possible to mention only objective dates and numbers with no context, so various materials and media need to be used, because students' reactions vary widely depending on which part is emphasized.

even now, the may 18 pro-democracy movement is at the center of controversy. although it was listed in elementary school textbooks as an important example of a pro-democracy movement and even listed as a UNESCO world record heritage, the claims that it was a riot are quite noticeable if you type 5/18 in the portal site search box. how should we explain the may 18 pro-democracy movement to children who are easily exposed to such confusing information?

this book depicts the scene of the may 18 pro-democracy movement from the perspective of a child who lived at the time, and shows realistically how many people were lost due to national violence.

children who boldly attempt to escape from the training camp to avoid their coach, witness the sight of an airborne unit brutally hitting people in downtown gwangju. at the time, the soldiers only looked good in the eyes of the children so most of them said, “these soldiers are not the soldiers of our country. they must be the people's army sent by kim il-sung of north korea.”

however, the children end up learning that our country's soldiers can trample and kill their people. in 1980, gwangju had to make a huge sacrifice under the control of a real villain. most of them were hard-working people. why these people were killed for no reason, this book tells the truth and tragedy of the may 18 pro-democracy movement.

오월의 달리기 depicts ordinary people's desire for democracy, their tearful efforts to protect each other, and their heartbreaking sacrifices. in particular, through the images of myungsoo who lost his family and those who support him, the story shows hopeful gestures to heal the painful history and wounds of his heart, leaving a long lasting impression."

possible similarities with the drama

in the book, myungsoo's dad runs a repair shop in the market and has a weak leg just like in the drama. he also disapproves of myungsoo's dream to become a running athlete and myungsoo shows embarrassment towards his father. one day, an unexpected event occurs in the training camp, in which one of the kids came up with a plan to escape from the dormitory. however, downtown gwangju, which was thought to be full of interesting sights for the kids, turned out to be full of college student protesters, soldiers, and the nasty smell of tear gas

the children follow the protesters with curiosity and witness unbelievable scenes. soldiers beat college students with clubs (곤봉) and even kick the elderly who were watching. the children who see this are terrified and run away. they enter a billiard room in a building to escape and face an even more terrible scene. seeing the soldiers smashing the head of a student protester who had sneaked in there, and seeing the blood dripping out, even kicking the old uncles who told them to stop, and hitting them with a club...

soon, news comes out that the national youth sports festival has been postponed and the coach comes to the dormitory with tears in his eyes to deliver shocking news.

“myungsoo... your father is dead.”

in parallel with the book, the drama places a focus on radio and broadcast as these mediums suffered from censorship during that time... it's not a coincidence that jinah's character dreams to become a radio pd and that heetae who happens to be her tutor knows his way around radio and supports her dream the way he does. although the preview for ep 9 shows jinah being unconscious and heetae struggling to save her (a reenactment of his traumatic past in a sense), it is most likely that she will live, and through the support system heetae has around him (myunghee) this time, he will be able to save her and free himelf of his trauma. i think jinah will grow to become a radio pd, perhaps on the same frenquency bette midler was playing and to which heetae shared that intimate moment with myunghee at the end of ep 8... this is just my personal wish tbh but i find these details interesting to dig into

another item that figures in the story is the watch belonging to myungsoo and myunghee's dad... one of the questions asked in the school textbook based on the story is that the watch contains memories (as in pictures) of myungsoo... in the drama, the watch is the first thing we see in the first episode as recovered belonging to someone during the uprising. going by the book, it was the dad who ended up dying in the book... i don't know if the drama will follow the same narrative but if it does, the man seen in the beginning is most likely myungsoo

[ladyloveandjustice]

Belated Spring 2020 Anime Overview: My Next Life as Villainess

For the Spring 2020 anime season, I mostly watched continuations of shows I was already into. The one new show I did pick up was My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!

My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom! follows Katerina Claes, a spoiled young noble girl deviously scheming to win the heart of a prince- oh wait, never mind, she hit her head and remembered her past life! Turns out she’s an eighteen year old Japanese otaku chick who died and got reincarnated as the villainess in her favorite otome game. 

If you don’t feel like reading the wiki article, an otome game is basically a female- targeted dating sim where you play as a blank slate main character and date a bunch of pretty boys (and sometimes girls, but usually only if you go outside the mainstream ones), unlocking their backstories and collecting all the romantic endings.

Having played this game, Katarina is well aware that the Villainess character- who constantly tries to interfere with the game’s heroine and whichever boy she’s pursuing- is either exiled or killed in all of the games endings. And now she IS that villainess, living in the world of the game and all its characters! Does that mean she’s doomed to a horrible fate? What’s a girl to do?

Well, if you’re Katarina, what you do is be supportive and kind to the people around you and in doing so accidentally get every single character in the game to fall in love with you. And yes, this includes all the boys the heroine is supposed to date, the other female romantic rivals the heroine is faced with and the game’s heroine herself.

That’s right, we finally got us some bisexual romantic comedy hijinx last anime season, my friends! My Next Life as a Villainess was the delightful little show I really escaped into during these anxious pandemic times . All these girls casually falling in love with Katarina without it being treated as ‘weird’ was what particularly drew me to this show and warmed my gay little heart to see. It was honestly the perfect fluffy, low stress watch during these high stress times.

Anime has long been oversaturated with ‘harem’ stories- where a usually unwitting protagonist somehow gets a bevy of beauties in love with them- but it’s still unfortunately really unusual to see bisexual harems, especially ones with a girl at the center, so right away there’s a big draw to this story that helps it stick out from the rest.  (And worry not, the story is largely focused on Katarina having fun with these pals-who-are-not-so-secretly-in-love-with-her, rather than having a ton the dubious shenanigans you see in more sexually charged tales.)

Harem protoganists also famously tend to have the personality of potatoes, being so painfully bland it’s unclear why so many people would fall in love with them in the first place. But that definitely not the case for Katarina. She’s brash, ridiculous, kind and INCREDIBLY dense, and that for a pretty dynamic combination in this setting! She does genuinely come off as a fun person to be around. Unlike a lot of modern isekai shows, she doesn’t stumble into having incredible magic powers or skills, so her compassion is genuinely her greatest strength and what saves the day and wins hearts time and time again.

Katarina’s five brain cells doing their weekly check-in

(The moment she won my heart was when she responded to a tragic Frozen style situation with her friend locking himself away from people because he believed his magic was dangerous by taking an axe to his door. My kinda girl!)

The premise also allows for some plausible built-in reasons for the characters to take such special notice of Katarina- having been raised in a different world, she isn’t beholden to all the social rules, class divisions and noble family drama all the other kids in this very specific midevial-esque fantasy world are so embroiled in. This combined with her naturally earnest, accepting and straightfoward nature means she’s able to cross boundaries and reach out to them in a way they aren’t accustomed to. She was significant in each character’s life because she genuinely was the first to show them acceptance and affection without pretense, if only because she isn’t even aware there was supposed to be a pretense.

Katarina’s focus on trying not to die and her fear she’s going to meet the same fate as the villainess in the game also at least gives some kind of a basis to her comical obliviousness to everyone being in love with her. She assumes that everyone has to be into Maria (the heroine) and terrified of her because that’s how the game GOES okay, that’s CANON! Of course, this logic stretches thin as time goes on and it would be abundantly clear to most people that things have diverged greatly from the game’s storyline, but the show makes it clear that Katarina’s determined, one track mind is as much a gift as a curse. 

Her bullheadedness when it comes to picking up how everyone REALLY feels about her is an intentional gag on the show’s part and even her love interests are well aware of what a colossal dumbass she is and not afraid to point it out!

My Next Life as a Villainess isn’t without its flaws, and the personalities/backstories of some of the ‘love interests’ Katarina gathers may be a stumbling block on some- mostly the male ones.  Geordo, “the black hearted prince” has a bit of the “ possessive shoujo bad boy” archetype about him, and though he’s far from the worst that genre of love interest has to offer (there’s not much bad he can get up to due to Katarina’s obliviousness, the lighthearted nature of the show, and his rivals constantly getting in his way), the way he refuses to break Katarina and his engagement off despite her repeatedly asking him to, as well as some of his lines here and there, are definitely NOT cute. 

Keith is Katarina’s adopted brother, but clearly has a thing for her too. On one hand, they only first met when they were nine and he fell for her pretty immediately. On the other hand, he still refers to her as “sister” constantly which is kinda eesh. 

The other two guys are all right- Nicol’s big thing is he’s inexpressive and doesn’t talk much which, considering show doesn’t spend much time inside his head, doesn’t make him a very interesting character in the ensemble (maybe he comes across better in the novels) but there’s nothing wrong with him. Alan is undoubtedly the Best Boy in my book. He’s another common trope- rambunctious and competitive with Katarina but clearly soft for her- but he’s done well and they have a lot of cute moments together.

I find the girl love interests to be a much more interesting group overall, though this may be my obvious bias talking. Sophia has the strongest connection to Katarina, their backstories being intertwined in a surprising and touching way (I’m told in the novels her affection for Katarina was treated as more platonic, but the anime definitely plays it up as having romantic elements). Maria’s original role as the game’s heroine puts her in the most interesting position (and would make her the most narratively satisfying choice of love interest, if the show was actually interested in choosing). And while Mary is comically tenacious in her pursuit of Katarina, she’s doesn’t ever act ‘sinister’ or overstep boundaries in the way Geordo does, her “scheming” only really amounting to straightforwardly asking if Katarina wants to ditch her fiance and run away with her. 

As I mentioned, one thing that really contributes to My Next Life as a Villainess being a relaxing watch is that the queer characters are treated with casual acceptance. Mary in particular isn’t subtle about her crush on Katarina, but nobody bats an eye at her and she’s completely open and comfortable with herself too. The observing maid notes that the girls are in love with Katarina with the same bland affect as when she notes she notes the guys are. And while the social practices of the nobles are pretty heteronormative- girls are always engaged in arranged marriages to guys, the guys are expected to dance with the girls (something Mary complains about!)- there’s apparently a booming queer romance novel industry that inspires our young wlw.

Katarina, having grown up in a different world, seems to be the one most prone to heteronormativity of her group. She never really considers  that a girl would ever fall in love with her, but is also never hostile to the idea. It’s telling that when Mary very clearly indicates her desired romantic partner would be a girl, Katarina’s the only one that gets tripped up and has to walk back her assumption that Mary would be talking about a guy. 

Mary LAYING DOWN THE LAW

Also, Katarina has  SEVERAL “she’s so cute! My heart is beating faster!” moments with the other girls, on par in frequency with her moments with the guys. This strongly hints she’s an oblivious bisexual disaster.

So, My Next Life as Villainess is a fun, frothy watch and the rare positive example of silly wish-fufillment that’s inclusive to a wlw audience. But is the actual plot good, or remotely complex? The answer to that is no, the plot is fairly predictable and one definitely shouldn’t got into this story expecting a deep examination of the nature of fate or anything like that.There’s no real explanation of big reason as to why why Katarina was reborn into this game world and so on.

 The antagonist that does eventually emerge plays off otome game tropes a bit, but ultimately isn’t that interesting or built up all that well. . The attempts at drama the show makes towards the end fall a little flat, especially since it tends to rely on very-late-in-the-game-exposition-dumps (dark magic isn’t even MENTIONED as existing in this world until like, the second to last episode where it becomes relevant and we get a vague infodump explaining its mechanics). The conflict honestly almost feels shoehorned in and the climax is pretty standard and doesn’t really utilize the big cast of characters all that well

But in the end, that’s okay! The show makes it abundantly clear from the beginning it’s not here to be Deep, but to be some silly fun. And it really fulfills that purpose well, from it’s catchy, peppy theme tune to its consistently warm tone. It MAY get repetitive at times for some, and I do have some quibbles- like how I found the childhood segments to be some of the shows best material and wish we could have stayed in that section for a bit instead of rushing through it, how I wish Katarina had kept her cute little scar, etc- but overall, it was definitely the soothing balm I needed during a very rough time and I absolutely recommend it if you’re looking for a chill, feel-good watch.

 And hey, a second season’s supposed to be on the way too, so there’s something to potentially look forward to!

[notsostraightarrowbabey]

Fish and Pearls (part 1)

A/N: Hey all! Even though this work is already on ao3, wattpad, and ff.net, I wanted to post it here too. Likes and reblogs are always appreciated, but please don’t repost :) My inbox is always open!! Enjoy :)

~

Having grown up by the ocean, Ochako Uraraka supposed that she ought to have a fond appreciation for it, at the very least. Don’t get it twisted, she had a lovely childhood by the sea, and often looked back at her younger memories with a kind smile, but the ocean itself has always given her the heebie-jeebies (so to speak). 

The smell of the ocean, though, was something that she found a particular comfort in. Then again, it wasn’t as if she got the chance to smell much else. Salt, with a hint of rot mixed with sheer warmth. The aroma was a near constant companion, and she didn’t have many of those. 

The ones that she did have, though, were true friends. There were only two of them, and that didn’t bother her in the slightest. Izuku and Tsuyu were family to her, and she wouldn’t have it any other way. 

On the days that either of them were around, they would spend all day - from dusk till dawn - goofing about. More often than not, Izuku would end up soaked with sea water, which would inevitably lead to him being thoroughly coated in sand. Not that being coated in sand could be avoided of course, when one lived on the shore, regardless of how wet one may be. 

Tsuyu would swim sometimes as well, but not nearly as much as Izuku did. She claimed that the salt water was too abrasive on her sensitive skin, and Ochako believed her. She had seen how the other girl’s skin would become red and painful looking after spending too long in the ocean. The first few times that Ochako had seen it happen, she had been incredibly worried. Every time, though, Tsuyu had waved off her concern, saying that she would be fine after a few hours. Over time, Ochako had become desensitized to the sight. It wasn’t that she didn’t worry anymore, but she knew that her worry could be eased after she helped Tsuyu get comfortable and recover. 

One would think that Tsuyu would stop swimming in the ocean, given the circumstances. Ochako knew though, that - even with the given consequences - she enjoyed swimming with Izuku. 

Ochako wished that she could find joy in splashing around in the waves, but it was never to be that way. So, while Izuku and Tsuyu messed around in the waves, Ochako stayed on the shore. The deepest she ever went was up to her ankles. 

The days that weren’t spent with her friends (which were few and far between) were instead spent helping her parents with things around the house. There were things to be done, after all; she knew that life couldn’t be all fun and games. That wasn’t to say that she didn’t enjoy ‘chore days’. Her parents always made sure to have fun while working, singing songs and telling stories as they went about the day’s tasks. 

Ochako’s favorite type of tales that her mother would tell were about the selkies that supposedly roamed the open seas as well as the shore. They were more cautionary tales - fables - than anything. Don’t get too close to the shoreline at night (or you might be snatched by selkies). Don’t approach strangers on the shoreline (or you might be snatched by selkies). Don’t invite strange men into your home (they might be selkies). These lessons were always the end of an intricate storyline spun by her mother. If Ochako thought about it, though, these were just common sense rules wrapped in a fable-like shroud, but she didn’t care. The fable-like nature of the tales was what made them exciting. And while Ochako loved these stories, she never truly believed in the mythical creatures that started in them. 

Or at least she didn’t. Not until something (or someone) started to leave things - presents? - on her windowsill while she slept. 

It had started with - of all things - raw fish. She had woken up one summer morning to the sun streaming in through her open window and onto her face. This didn’t immediately raise alarms in her mind, as it was summertime. There was rarely a night during this time of year where she didn’t sleep with the window open. So, with this in mind, Ochako had rolled back over and attempted to go back to sleep-

Until she remembered that she had specifically closed and shuttered her window last night. 

The only reason she had done so was because it had been spitting rain at the time she had been getting ready for beed the night before. Ochako rolled back over in her bed and had begun to think as she stared at her window. 

She supposed that the wind could have blown open her shutters, but it had only been sprinkling rain. The wind wouldn’t have gotten strong enough to blow open her locked shutters. With a furrowed brow, Ochako threw back her sheets (which were thin, so as to keep her from overheating) and walked over to investigate. What she found there was - curious, to say the least. 

The shutters, when they had been installed by her father, had had a lock placed on the inside so that Ochako would feel safe at night (or so her parents said). The lock, though, had been broken clean off of the wooden base, leaving behind splintered craters. That alone would have curdled her stomach, had it been the only thing she found that morning. 

There, on her open window’s sill, had been a fish. A half dead, still twitching fish. The fish looked as if someone had taken a sharp object and raked three nasty lines down the poor ting’s side. It’s blood had already half-soaked into the wood on her sill. It would probably stain. Despite how she had been feeling about the whole situation, she couldn’t help the hysterical laughter that bubbled up from her throat and spilled over her lips. 

There was a fish - a bleeding, suffocating fish, sat on her window. The window, which had had the lock broken off during the night. And she had laughed. 

She didn’t laugh when a new, different bleeding and suffocating fish showed up on her window sill the morning after that. 

~*~

One - Two - Three - Four - Five - Six - Seven - Eight - Nine

[minka-g]

content creator appreciation!! list five favourite sets/art/fic you've made and send this ask to five other content creators! 💕

(Spreading some love and self appreciation to amazing content creators! If 5 overwhelms you, choose one, or three! Whatever suits you)

Hmmm, this was hard, in part because I’m generally pretty negative these days, and also because it made me really ruthlessly think about things. Lol.

So, my five favourite creations, in no particular order:

The Price of Spring – aka, the turbulent ‘prostitute fic with a difference’ that I always wanted to read, so I had to write it myself. I love the premise, and I love how it all came together, and the deep dive I took into the psyche of the POV character. It was a real trip and, bonus points, it rocked fandom pretty hard.

The Wind Will Carry Us – aka, the Stucky soulmate fic that is probably one of the most beautifully written things I’ve ever done. The storyline is okay, but its the prose and the language and syntax I used that sets it high in my mind. I also really enjoyed reading about the basis of the myth I used, and its made me realise that I have a huge thing for darker fairy tales. Sadly, its probably the biggest fic flop in all my Stucky stuff.

End of All Days – aka THE Stucky fic, and if you’re reading this post, then I’m sure you know all the stories about researching while travelling and the lengths I went to in order for this fic to work. It’s the story I always wanted to tell, and the one I do kinda wish I’d reserved for attempted publication. I love Bucky in this.

The Heart of My Own (burn it down low) – aka one of the easiest, quickest fics I ever wrote. I knocked it over in a couple of days, and I really just lost myself to the feel and mood of the whole thing. I can’t read the title without thinking of the song, and I can’t hear the song without thinking of Bucky driving up that forest driveway and seeing Steve’s house. As always, it was great to play around with a fairy tale, myth vibe, as well. It also made me feel like a real part of fandom given that it got some art made for it. That was amazing.

A Dirty Carnival – aka the OG long 1980’s yakuza crime fic. It’s not the best prose and I was pretty young, but it is the fic that really got me started writing novel length, researched stories. I learned a lot from working on this, from the use of engaging language and creative syntax, how to properly structure a story (beginning, end and middle) and how to wave in false defeats and heroes rise structures, which, let’s be honest, isn’t something often adhered to in fanfic.

So I think that’s it.

Honourable mention to Silent Words (Game of Thrones) for being my favourite of all the old, easy one-shots I used to do, and Middle Earth Hustle (Lord of the Rings) for being that crazy idea I’m still in love with but will just never finish.

[venteamocha]

Thanks so much for the IF recs! I'd absolutely take a second post of recommendations for Twine games too if you're willing to share! <3

Of course!!

I... actually like twine games better than cog based ones, in some ways, just because they tend to be fancier and prettier, and I am secretly a ferret in the body of a human and I love shinies. ADHD, baby!

I only actually know of like 12 twine games, so if there are any that anyone who sees this knows of that I didn’t list, feel free to let me know about them! There’s a chance I do know about them and just didn’t put them here, but I would rather hear one I already know of on the off chance that I’ll get a new one dropped in.

That said! Another list of games I really like that is again in no particular order!

They’re all on itch.io by the way! They tend to work better if you download them but most can be run in your browser and most are also mobile friendly so you can play them on your phone! I’ll note which ones are.

Scout: An Apocalypse Story: I love dystopia stories, I dearly wish we had more IF based in this kind of setting. Set in a wasteland that is trying to pull itself together with people trying to find out if other settlements are out there while also trying to, well, stay alive. I gotta say, I played only E’s route for a long, long time, but once I tried the other ones I haven’t really gone back. I still love E, you can pry the childhood friend trope out of my cold dead hands, but wow. Oliver. Wow. That dude has serious UST. And Sabine!! I’ve been forced out of my little “play it the same way every time” rut and I’m not sorry. I very much like that you can choose the intimacy level, as someone who’s ace. Sometimes I like reading the smut, sometimes I don’t. Options! (mobile friendly!)

Bad Ritual: I got it baaaaaaaaaad~ I do though, I love Siruud. I have terrible, terrible taste in men. I mentioned Dracula in the other list, and here there’s an actual demon. This is a game with *sass* and I always love a chance to be sassy. I think part of the reason I resonate so much with this one is because of how jaded retail has made me tbh but that’s another story.  Honestly, if you like dark settings, I recommend you play this one first of all my recommendations. It’s just such a good game and there are so many choices and even the pronoun choices are pretty varied.  It’s just good! (mobile friendly!)

Wayfarer: Another for the fantasy list! I love the worldbuilding in this one, and the character creator is just amazing. There are maps, there’s a codex, seriously if you love reading lore, this is definitely a game for you. This is like if Tolkien made an IF. It’s amazing. I’ve said that a few times but it’s true. In all honesty it might count as one that’s not so romance focused, since it does focus more on plot. If I could just sit down and make an IF, I’d want it to be like this tbh. With a beautiful framework, a well organized space of information for the players to just look at and see stuff about the world, a way to develop and build their own character in a clear cut way, and the game immediately tells you what stats are effected by what choices. I really enjoy it when games try to work in character creation in creative ways, but sometimes I just want to sit down and go, “Okay, my character has red hair, blue eyes, is short, and has a crippling phobia of lizards” and this game lets me do that. Well, except for the lizard part. (Not as mobile friendly as the others but I make it work!)

Love and Friendship: It’s a regency game and I love Pride and Prejudice. What can I say? Something about the massive amount of rules of society just gets me. Propriety! This is a game that has a set gender protagonist, female, and it actually is a bit different from the norm in that it has two female love interests and one male, when most of the time it’s the other way around. So that’s something. You can even have a platonic route with a fourth love interest, who is also male. There really aren’t enough platonic routes, but I understand why that is, since a lot of IF players are looking for romance. (mobile friendly!)

Exiled From Court: Also a bit of the same vibe simply because of how constrained everyone is by rules. Nobility, after all. There are a lot of love interests, and one is the MC’s sister’s husband, which is definitely gonna be scandalous. Will I do it? Will I? Eventually. I do like how you can act like an absolute hellion, well, as far as that goes considering. You can try to be a better person but that’s less fun, lol. (mobile friendly!)

A Tale of Crowns: This is literally one of the very first twine games I ever played. Really! It’s got a lot of wonderful intrigue and the setting is very fun. There aren’t a ton of fantasy middle eastern games, and this game is definitely one reason why we should have more. There’s a great deal of customization, and the love interests’ gender will changed based on your MC’s gender and sexuality combination. I like R & D best, and no that’s not a pun. I think. (mobile friendly!)

For the Crown: This is a different game, I swear, they just both happen to have crown in the title, lol. You get to play as an assassin, which is a great deal of fun. The lore in the game is very nice too. I tend to play with they/them pronouns though, and there were a few pronoun hiccups in the game. Seems to be an issue across all of the games made by this author, but I know how much of a pain variables can be so hopefully those will get squashed soon. There’s an explicit content choice in this one as well, and if you turn it on there is an “equipment” choice, so this is definitely gonna be spicy later on! (mobile friendly, but after each chapter the browser shifts as it auto saves. you just have to tap restore game to keep playing.)

-These games aren’t exactly twine games, but I’m putting them here because they’re visual novels that fit the IF format for the most part and are also on itch.io and I love them and for this post at least I will bend my own rules! They all have gender choice MCs and are nonbinary friendly.-

Perfumare: This game is actually being made into an IF, with the visual novel as a sort of preview of what we’re gonna get there. I literally cannot wait for that to happen, this game is so good as it is, and from what we’ve been told it’s only gonna get better. This game has an excellent world, the characters are all messy in the best ways, and ugh it has hurt me quite a bit, again in the best way.  It’s another one on the dark side of things. The powers in this game are just so fun, I dearly want a game set in this world where we can choose what powers we have! Maybe that will be in the IF, but I have a feeling the answer is no. We’ve been teased that there will be a second game with a different MC who will get to romance the characters we can’t in this one, and that alone is enough to get me to jump as soon as it drops. The love interests aren’t gender variable but there are two male ones and one female. I, a known mess, recommend Laurent for lots of repression and pain. (not mobile friendly, you gotta play on desktop/laptop)

Andromeda Six: I’ve recommended this one to pretty much everyone I know, it is such an excellent game. The cast is a mashup of misfits and makes me miss my Mass Effect crews. I specifically set my pronouns to she/her just so they’d all call me Princess. What can I say, I like it. There’s lots of pain, lots of drama, lots of world building, lots of interesting lore, and there is much breaking of cuties. Much. Can’t wait till we get to the next planet. The author has gone out of their way to say that each love interest is gonna get their own arc and will definitely get their own share of attention, so no matter who you pick you’ll have plenty of time to be with them and watch them shine. (not mobile friendly, gotta play on desktop/laptop)

When the Night Comes: Not only do you get to play a badass hunter but it has multiple poly routes! Multiple! It’s rare when you get one poly in a game, this one has three! You can also choose to romance any of them individually if you so choose. It’s dark fantasy gothic, and I really really like that. (not mobile friendly, gotta play on desktop/laptop)

Errant Kingdom: Made from the same dev as WTNC, this one is set in a more fantasy middle eastern setting. Very pretty, lots of intrigue. You can choose between three set protagonists, who can have three different storylines depending on your choices, which is very nice for replayability. It’s got two poly routes this time, and it works the same as their other game in that you can romance them individually if you’d rather be monogamous. (not mobile friendly, gotta play on desktop/laptop)

[butterflies-dragons]

Hey! There was a giant lemon cake with phallic image in alayne chapter. Do you think it some coincidence or it means something? Especially it's presented by petyr. Also Sansa and her enemies giving her lemoncakes give same vibes as Hansel&gretel story.

And best of all, Lord Nestor’s cooks prepared a splendid subtlety, a lemon cake in the shape of the Giant’s Lance, twelve feet tall and adorned with an Eyrie made of sugar.

For me, Alayne thought, as they wheeled it out. Sweetrobin loved lemon cakes too, but only after she told him that they were her favorites. The cake had required every lemon in the Vale, but Petyr had promised that he would send to Dorne for more.

—The Winds of Winter - Alayne I

Petyr Baelish is grooming Sansa, that’s the awful truth. And he has studied Sansa, he knows what she likes/wants and he will use that knowledge in his favor.

He knows she had a distant relationship with Ned, so he becomes Alayne’s father.

He knows that Ned neglected her and that she always craved for her father’s validation, so he gives her that, he praised her wits for example, and called her clever and smart. 

If Sansa says something like “I can’t” or “I don’t know”, he is there to encourage and support and tell her “you can do it” & “you know it”.  

He knows she loves knights and tourneys, so he allows her to organize a tournament, whose winners will belong to a kind of “Kingsguard” for Sweetrobin, based on the child’s favorite hero of the legends: The Winged Knight, Ser Artys Arryn.

He knows she loves lemon cakes, so he gives her a giant lemon cake.    

The Tyrells has used the same strategy:

"Sansa," Lady Alerie broke in, "you must be very hungry. Shall we have a bite of boar together, and some lemon cakes?"

"Lemon cakes are my favorite," Sansa admitted.

"So we have been told," declared Lady Olenna, who obviously had no intention of being hushed. "That Varys creature seemed to think we should be grateful for the information. I've never been quite sure what the point of a eunuch is, if truth be told. It seems to me they're only men with the useful bits cut off. Alerie, will you have them bring the food, or do you mean to starve me to death? Here, Sansa, sit here next to me, I'm much less boring than these others. I hope that you're fond of fools."

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa I

We all know how much Sansa loves her lemon cakes, but the Tyrells and Littlefinger really treat her as if she were a child like Sweetrobin:

"Will they be lemon cakes?" Lord Robert loved lemon cakes, perhaps because Alayne did.

"Lemony lemony lemon cakes," she assured him, "and you can have as many as you like."

"A hundred?" he wanted to know. "Could I have a hundred?"

"If it please you." She sat on the bed and smoothed his long, fine hair. He does have pretty hair. Lady Lysa had brushed it herself every night, and cut it when it wanted cutting. After she had fallen Robert had suffered terrible shaking fits whenever anyone came near him with a blade, so Petyr had commanded that his hair be allowed to grow. Alayne wound a lock around her finger, and said, "Now, will you get out of bed and let us dress you?"

"I want a hundred lemon cakes and five tales!"

I'd like to give you a hundred spankings and five slaps. You would not dare behave like this if Petyr were here. The little lord had a good healthy fear of his stepfather. Alayne forced a smile. "As my lord desires. But nothing till you're washed and dressed and on your way. Come, before the morning's gone." She took him firmly by the hand, and drew him out of bed.

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne II

The lemon cake in the shape of the Giant’s Lance

The Giant's Lance is the tallest peak of the Mountains of the Moon within the Vale of Arryn, extending three and a half miles above the the valley below.

The great-grandfather of Petyr Baelish was a Braavosi sellsword that came into the Vale of Arryn at the service of Lord Corbray. His line was continued by his son, who became a hedge knight and took the head of the Titan of Braavos as his sigil.

As I mentioned in this post, a sword, Ice in particular, works as a phallic symbol in Sansa’s chapters. 

So, we can also make this association:

The Titan of Braavos = A Giant

The Giant’s Lance = Tallest Peak

Lance & Peak = phallic symbols 

Lemon cake in the shape of the Giant’s Lance = I don’t want to write it 

We can also say that Petyr Baelish is “compensating” his “shortfalls”, after all he is a short man called Littlefinger.  

Yes, I think this giant lemon cake could be seen as a phallic symbol and it makes sense with Littlefinger grooming her... yikes

¡¡¡SOMEONE SAVE HER PLEASE!!!   

My friend @lostlittlesatellites has already wrote about these subjects, giant lemon cake as phallic symbol and Hansel and Gretel story: 

I argued that lemon cakes in Sansa’s arc actually spell people trying to exploit Sansa’s weakness in an almost Hansel & Gretel way and a betrayal that follows.

“Interestingly Sansa’s first chapter in AGOT poses questions that will drive majority of her arc. Her desire for a courtly life in the South will not only prove to be hollow but worse a dream that turns into nightmare. Sansa asks two questions: “What could you want to see? It’s just fields and farms and holdfasts” and “Why would you want to ride a smelly old horse and get all sore and sweaty when you could recline on feather pillows and eat cakes with the queen?”

The world is larger than Sansa has been taught to believe, reclining more inward into her dreams with the strict regime that she taught to look away from the window. She doesn’t think she is prepared enough and that she needs more training. Yes, she doesn’t know enough but neither does Arya or Bran or Jon. Having Sansa finally leave her cage after completing her tutelage under Littlefinger is continuing that student-teacher dynamic she has had since Septa Mordane. People come to love the security of the cage they live in too long. This is why it takes so long to take out the fear of the outside from Sansa because the fact that she has barely any experience keeps her thinking she needs someone to rely on.

[…]

The “Feather pillows and cakes with the queen” part represents the glamour that attracts little boys and girls like Sansa. However, it is hollow as Sansa comes to realise about many things. In fact, people offering Sansa lemon cakes in Sansa’s storyline often forebodes a betrayal from the person offering it. Cersei offers her lemon cakes and a few chapters later she has Lady executed and even later, she has Ned arrested. Olenna offers Sansa lemon cakes, which Varys offers as valuable information to bring her guard down in order to lure her into her trap of marrying her to Wilas and getting hold of Winterfell and the North. They have her wear the murder weapon, which could implicate her for Joffrey’s murder even if their target is Tyrion. Littlefinger is offering her a 12 foot phallic shaped lemon cake in Sansa’s TWOW chapter. Given how happy Sansa is in this chapter that she is almost forgetting that she isn’t Alayne, the food is way too lavish when Winter is coming and along with this trend with lemon cakes, the clock is going to strike 12 and the illusion is going to break very soon. Soon Sansa will prefer riding those “smelly horses” and getting sweaty and sore in order to escape over those lemon cakes and feather beds offered by untrustworthy people. For Sansa’s arc to be fulfilling she has to experience the lives of small folk up close before she helps them. As a character whose view range is often myopic, she has to be put in the middle of the lives of the small folk to truly understand them.”

I highly recommend you to check @lostlittlesatellites blog, she’s a great ASOIAF meta writer, you can read more about these subjects here and here. She covered a lot of themes and symbolisms around Sansa in the Vale, some of them very disturbing regarding Littlefinger’s present and future actions against Sansa...   

But despite all that, since GRRM is a writer that likes to give different meanings to a same thing, there are also some very interesting details that are worthy to mention about the real Giant’s Lance:

So lovely. The snow-clad summit of the Giant's Lance loomed above her, an immensity of stone and ice that dwarfed the castle perched upon its shoulder. Icicles twenty feet long draped the lip of the precipice where Alyssa's Tears fell in summer. A falcon soared above the frozen waterfall, blue wings spread wide against the morning sky. Would that I had wings as well. 

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne I

The Winged Knight was Ser Artys Arryn. Legend said that he had driven the First Men from the Vale and flown to the top of the Giant's Lance on a huge falcon to slay the Griffin King.  

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne II

I can see strong dragon imagery here... 

I already wrote about how Sansa wishing falcon wings could be foreshadowing of her getting dragon wings.  

Here I also listed all the similarities between Jon and Sweetrobin.

But the most interesting detail is that the real Giant’s Lance is Stone covered by Ice/Snow. 

Sansa’s Vale arc has a lot of connections with Jon Snow, like this parallel that I called “Children of the Mountains”.

There is also the names of the waycastles Stone (Alayne) and Snow (Jon).

And one of my favorite Jon Snow reference in Sansa’s chapters, the ghost wolf, big as mountains:

All around was empty air and sky, the ground falling away sharply to either side. There was ice underfoot, and broken stones just waiting to turn an ankle, and the wind was howling fiercely. It sounds like a wolf, thought Sansa. A ghost wolf, big as mountains.

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne II

So, 

The Giant’s Lance is the tallest peak of the Mountains of the Moon.

The Giant’s Lance is Stone covered by Ice/Snow.

Sansa compared those mountains with a giant Ghost Wolf.  

I’m sorry Littlefinger, you can’t touch this girl!

Thanks for your message.

[legends-live-in-memories]

I Have Too Many Opinions. ep. 1

lmao. i got encouragement to post my opinions on fandom things and now i want to make a miniseries doing just that. so here i am. doing just that.

im putting it under the cut cuz this was 4 whole pages including the disclaimer. yes i put a disclaimer and i explain why.

Anyways, here is the first piece in what inevitably will become fandom info dump, this time on thomas astruc’s writing on miraculous ladybug. but only some of my opinions cuz we would be here all day otherwise.

So… a disclaimer before I begin… 

I do not hate Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Chat Noir (yes i'm using their government name). I am quite a fan of the show actually despite its faults. I am also older than the intended audience but was obviously younger when the show first aired which is how my interest was piqued (the fact that its been 6 years and only 3 seasons says more about the show than me being a fan for that amount of time but also i never want to rush content creators cuz they're doing their best) and due to my age, there will be inherent bias in my approach of what i'm about to say as there is in EVERY opinion. The fact that it is an opinion should imply the presence of bias but most people tend to lack the critical thinking skills required to draw that conclusion ANYWAYS…

If I did hate the show I would not have this blog nor would I be even writing this because i tend to not give more than 2 seconds of thought to things i actively dislike (some of yall should give this a try) and i'm allowed to like things that are designed for an audience that i was originally a part of but grew out of. (I don't suddenly stop liking things because I'm older despite what many younger fans seem to believe about older audiences. I also don't need to be ‘allowed’ to do anything cuz i wasn't asking for permission anyways.)

This will not be character bashing, astruc bashing nor fandom bashing cuz, again, that would imply i hate any of those elements and if i did, i would not dedicate brainpower to them. Analyses and criticisms of media are fun and engaging and required if you wish to produce good enjoyable content. Now most of this should be already assumed and self-explanatory but people on the internet like to play morality roulette roll dice on purity culture and I rather have documentation that I am in fact not bullying fictional 14 year olds or a grown man. But alas, people get trigger happy whenever someone has less than 1000000% positive opinions on something they like and will throw out words they can't define (gaslight, baiting, toxic, problematic, gatekeep etc) in an attempt to defend their blind devotion, 

which is not needed, if you like something you never have to defend it, even if i don't like it. If you respond to anything I post saying you disagree with me, I will not argue with you. I won't debate back and forth and try to convince you that the things you like are wrong. Unless you are being absolutely tone deaf to what i'm saying, you wont get a negative reaction from me. So don't try to fish for a fight. Please. I got metaphorical hands for days and I'm mean, you don't want me hurting your feelings on the internet. Do yourself the favour. Difference of opinion is how we get diversification in media and is inherently a good thing. Now that that's out of the way, please don't ever let me have to say that again. I beg.

Now onto the fun stuff

I didn't know what I wanted as a first topic so my trusty internet friend @moonlitceleste suggested astruc’s writing… 

AND BOI do i got some opinions on ole tommy boi. Again I don't hate the dude. In fact, he has worked on a few shows that had defined my childhood, including but not limited to W.I.T.C.H. (all eps available on youtube for those interested, 2 seasons, general fun time all around).

So I don't think he’s scum of the earth but I do think his approach to writing mlb specifically has more misses than hits.

The first big miss is that he has no idea how to write 14 year old girls. At all. Almost every girl he has ever written feels like some terrible archetype built entirely for marketability and childish projection and pubescent self-insert (kind of). He has never been a 14 year old girl. I have. In fact when the show first aired, I WAS around the (assumed) age of the mlb characters. The behaviour he passes off as quirky or awkward or just the character’s genuine personality tend to perpetuate harmful stereotypes of teen girls found in the media and are never actually addressed as harmful. they just get swept under the rug. Marinette’s exuberant collage of teen heart throb model boi Adrien Agreste and her very painful almost fan worship she has of him (which flip flops like a paper sandal in the rain) being portrayed as a cute school girl crush uwu, Chloe being the y7 Regina George, Alya being the token best friend of colour with her ‘sassy’ personality (i want y'all to imagine me eyerolling so hard i bust a vessel in my eye), Kagami being the very damaging Perfect Asian Child stereotype. And before y'all get on your dusty soap box and defend going on about “BUT IT'S FOR CHILDREN”,,,, know this.

 i don’t give a solid fuck. 

Not one. 

Children arent stupid. Children are always going to remember the richy bitchy blonde who bullies the art kid, and the big kid, and the shy kid, and the non white kids, and was only nice to her equally rich white friend who she probably had a crush on or was only ever civil to her equally white lapdog. They're going to remember the half asian girl who was never allowed to actually be asian or the only black girl who existed solely as a soundboard for enabling bad habits or chastising the main character for the same habits she enables in the first place (boi aint THAT a topic for later). Like do i really need to explain that alya chastising marinette for taking max’s spot in gamer just to play with adrien rings absolutely hollow when she actively encourages her to sabotage the contest she’s in just so Kagami doesn't win?? Like I don't have to explain that right?? Again kids arent stupid and its quite something that Mari gets chastised for proving herself the best video game player regardless of her intentions just cuz it comes at the expense of max’s feelings/ego but is actively encouraged to sabotage not only kagami but herself by extension cuz kagami is ‘competition.’ Adrien is not a trophy to be won. And no I don't expect 14 yrs old to be perfect and to always make good decisions but these decisions are never addressed as being bad decisions. they get swept under the rug cuz those decisions were necessary for the ‘plot’ but astruc can barely keep characterization consistent and his characters suffer for it and it's the same children you preach are watching it that suffer as well. Cuz guess what? I KNOW 14 yr olds aren't like that cuz i've been there done that (this is the last time i'm saying that i promise) so I know astruc is just metaphorically throwing darts to figure out who says and does what without consideration for pre established personalities to drive the stalemate plot along. The same kids you say are watching this don't know that that's not how preteens work and will absorb and internalize those dynamics like baking soda and vinegar. Cata-fucking-strophically. 

And I haven't even gotten to the boys yet. Which honestly doesn't require much explanation anyways cuz they suffer the same fate as the girls. Tired archetypes with nothing to give them life. Nino falls into Adrien’s person of colour token best friend who dates the female lead’s person of colour token best friend so they can have cute double dates uwu. Except the plot goes nowhere and we have no inclination of romantic development beyond moments that only act to actively convince me to anti ship the lovesquare (i don't want to do that so i self indulge in fanon that actually cares about the characters and plot. may i interest you in True Sight on AO3?). Max is the residential nerd but it doesn't matter (cuz he and everyone are dumbed down for the sake of ‘plot’), kim is the sports jock (which interestingly subverts the asian comedic relief stereotype but only barely) and luka is cute older guy ™ that wears black nail polish and is in a band. The point of all this is to say there is no depth in the characters. It's especially blatantly obvious with the characters astruc doesn't like (chloe). Again, it being a show for kids is not an excuse to be absolved of putting effort into the characters you make.

This is one of the biggest misses astruc has. I haven't even gone into all the nuances of this particular miss. And i havent gone into how that works against him in the plot either. Mostly because the plot itself hasn't gone anywhere and partially because I wanted to go into the plot (or lack thereof) separately as its own miss. 

AND BOI is it a miss. 

SO home boy astruc wanted to reap the benefits of a serial show with ‘engaging’ plot without putting in any of the work to make a linear storyline and relying on the episodic format for, again, marketability. You can't have the best of both worlds, you are not Avatar: The Last Airbender. Which btw has a lot less episodes and a desired end goal that didn't involve top dollar. Legend of Korra did but that's not the point and it had its failings with that too. I challenge you, tell me how many episodes actually contribute towards a plot point or introduce new thematic elements to the show? Can you name them? I can and I'm going to include the plot points that moved the story in some direction if only temporarily. Yes only temporarily for some of these and i will explain later. (if you're in the server you already saw this list *wink*)

25/26. Origins- self explanatory, the beginning of the story, 

24. Volpina- introduction of the grimoire and Master Fu (kind of) and no, Lila is not a plot point,

28. The Collector- proper introduction of Master Fu,

37. Sapotis- introduction of Rena Rouge,

41. Syren- introduction of new aquatic power ups,

44. Anansi- introduction of Carapace,

47. Frozer- introduction of new ice power ups,

48/49. Style Queen- introduction of Queen Bee,

51/52. Heroes’ Day- introduction of Mayura and mass akumatization,

66. Startrain- introduction of Pegasus,

67. Kwami Buster- Marinette wears multiple miraculouses,

68. Feast- backstory as to how the miraculouses were lost,

69. Ikari Gozen- introduction of Ryuko,

70. Timetagger- introduction of Bunnyx,

71. Party Crasher- introduction of Roi Singe and Viperion,

73. Chat Blanc- alternate timeline that essentially means nothing but got a reaction out of fans anyways (myself included)

 77/78. Love Eater/Battle of Miraculous- Marinette becomes guardian and other heroes lose their miraculous,

New York Special- other heroes exist and there is an American miraculous box,

That's 21 episodes. 21 out of a heaping 78 plus 2 specials. Everything else was just your typical akuma of the day episode and everything that happened outside that had no lasting consequences on the plot thanks to the miraculous status quo. Was it entertaining to watch Lila stir the plot of the class dynamic? Hell yeah. Too bad it meant nothing by the end of the episode cuz we were struck with miraculous status quo. She literally doesn't appear again until Heroes Day. that is from episodes 25 all the way to 51, she means nothing and yet she is treated with the severity of a b-villain/rival thing. She means nothing by the end of Volpina if I'm being honest. She is only relevant for 20 mins of episode time she’s in then it's back to magic status quo that undoes any shift in dynamics and relationships. It's like Spongebob who can't get his driver’s license. The worst part is I actually like Lila and I wish the story treated her with the seriousness we as an audience are expected to treat her with. Despite being painfully inconsequential by the end of each of the 3?? 4?? episodes she’s in, it's entertaining to watch a character create drama just because. 

Too bad it means nothing.

Astruc is constantly building up suspense to something ‘important’ only for it to not deliver and fans are constantly having the rug pulled out from under us. Oblivio teased us with a reveal only that gets undone cuz memory akuma. Chat Blanc teased us with romantic development but that gets undone cuz time travel bullshit. Feast introduced more miraculous lore and the history of the guardians but that means nothing by the next episode or ever (i'm not including any reference to the season 4 trailer cuz i've been around the block a few times and im familiar with this lil dancy dance). Heroes Day teased us with a possible future team of heroes but that gets undone in Battle of Miraculous cuz ????? why?? (here's why; astruc was having a jolly ole time letting us know how irredeemable Chloe is at the expense of shooting his own stagnant plot in the foot. Again, discussion for later.)

Too bad anything that slightly swerves off course from the akuma of the day gets undone or ignored. Too bad nothing has any lasting consequence. I mean, if anything did, the episodes would have had a consistent order and release schedule so im not scrambling to watch the leaked ep in Portuguese or something while the french dub is two episodes behind while the english version hasnt even been dubbed. I really wonder how he plans to conclude the show when he’s so afraid to step out of the corner he painted himself in.

Again, not going into nuances. If you want you can ask for more specifics (i doubt anyone would) but this is really just a slightly detailed general overview of my opinions on astruc’s writing. 

I was going to include another miss in his approach to this show but imma save that for another time. 

How’s that for a ‘first’ post?

[bigskydreaming]

hood-ex

i was like well he could just date some random dude who's an artist or something and then i was like oh wait. kyle. lmao. did dick and kyle ever have interactions when donna wasn't around? i mean i know dick found kyle's.. spirit? or whatever in jla. but any other major moments between them aren't coming to my brain

LOL, nope, Dick and Kyle have barely ever interacted ever. Just at Hal’s memorial and then the Obsidian Age, which was well after Kyle and Donna split......they never hung out with Dick when they were together, as he was....busy in Bludhaven. Like Donna and Kyle were together during that period when Roy was running the Titans and they had that weird lineup with Terra the Second and Impulse and Fake Supergirl and just....yeah. But point being like, that was basically right after Dick left the team and Kory left to return to Tamaran, so Dick was kinda deliberately avoiding most of the Titans at that time, as far as I’ve always viewed it.

But yeah honestly all my Dick/Kyle thoughts pretty much stem just from their very brief Obsidian Age interactions and then me going like, huh. I could see it. Its more based on just their characters in general, and the fact that I think they have such similar priorities and mindsets as to be more alike than different, but without being so similar that they’re in any way derivative of each other or like....immediate analogues. Like you think of either Dick or Kyle, you don’t immediately jump to the other because they don’t particular stand out as being interchangeable or anything, but when you dig a little into their characters you’re like, oh wow, they have a lot in common actually.

In particular I’ve always keyed into the slightly lonely nature of Kyle’s position as Torchbearer in the GL Corps. A nod to his time as the only GL left, and the fact that he resurrected the Guardians and restarted the Corps, essentially.....so he’s always stood a little apart from the rest of the GLs, even Hal and John and Guy who were still around in some way or another back when he was the solo GL. Its not that he’s not close with them, its just that he has a very unique experience among the GLs where for most of the Corps, they always had the support of the Corps behind them as they became more experienced as Green Lanterns. And the weight of what they all did as Green Lanterns and what people looked to them for, it was always spread among like....the whole Corps, whereas when Kyle was Green Lantern during his solo tenure, like, it all rested on him, there was no one else to look at or look to....all eyes were just on him. 

That pressure, that absence of anyone who can fully relate, its always made him stand slightly apart from the rest of the Lanterns, even now that the Corps is back, and its only been heightened by the fact that he continues to have very unique experiences. Like how he was the only one to ever master the full emotional spectrum on his own, without external additives, the unique way in which he became the White Lantern, the fact that he has such a different relationship with the Ion entity than even those others who’ve hosted it, etc. Also the fact that like, despite his reputation among the Lanterns and others, despite how highly he’s regarded by them, that doesn’t always translate into the camaraderie and support you’d think it would, and most of his most intense adventures or most emotional storylines still happen when he’s off completely by himself with no lifelines. Because as much as he matters to the Corps and is valued by them, there’s always this kinda disconnect that frequently translates into a lot of distance between them and him, both physical and emotional.

And I’ve always thought there are a lot of parallels to the way Dick often feels like he’s alone even when in a crowd. That unique kind of pressure that comes from being the FIRST Robin, the original leader of the Titans, the guy who so often has acted as a trailblazer that others followed but without fully being able to relate to that experience of being first, of not having anyone TO follow, to have to make it up entirely as he went and hope that he wasn’t screwing up too much because it wasn’t like he had any precedent to look to or others to compare himself, his triumphs and his failures to. The way so often the buck stops with him and there’s no one really to pass it off to even when its not actually his fault, its more just.....people feel a need, a want to blame someone, and there’s not really anyone else to look at in his stead there. The similarities in how he also has such a positive reputation overall, and is seemingly so valued and respected by his various communities, and yet despite this it doesn’t always translate into direct and tangible support, leaving him often actually being cut-off and isolated during some of his most emotionally intensive storylines.

I think they have a lot of insight they could lend each other stemming from their respective experiences with the weight of legacy, which parallels without being the same....because the angle, the perspective is different with them. Kyle struggled with the weight of having to carry the entire legacy of the Green Lantern Corps by himself and feeling the responsibility of not wanting to let his predecessors down. Dick struggles with the weight of having his legacy carried by so many others and feeling responsible for what they go through as a result of that. And then at the same time Dick also struggled with the weight of carrying Bruce’s legacy as Batman at different times, such as Knightfall/Prodigal and then when he was lost in time, and now Kyle struggles with the weight of his legacy as Ion being carried on by others and the legacy his existence as the Torchbearer is creating for after he’s gone.

Additionally, they both have abundant experience with feeling under a microscope, like their every action is being scrutinized and they’re constantly being compared to the larger than life figure they’re most directly linked to. For Dick its Batman, for Kyle its Hal. That thing where they’re simultaneously expected to BE the equal to Bruce or Hal, or even better than them, but also at the same time being not exactly blamed for Bruce’s and Hal’s mistakes, but treated as even though they had nothing to do with their actions, they might as well have, kinda? Constantly compared to Bruce and Hal and with people saying they would have done this or that instead, but also with people quick to act like Bruce and Hal are their personal cautionary tales and tell them how dangerously close they are to becoming them whenever they do something that even slightly parallels the older two. 

Also, they have this distance between themselves and Bruce and Hal....Dick because of the chasm between them during the early years of Nightwing and Kyle because Hal was basically a villain and then dead during his early years as Green Lantern.....but without anyone ever really factoring in that they’re not as joined at the hip to Bruce and Hal as people act like and they not only have nothing to do with the worst of their mistakes, but the older two weren’t always as involved in the younger two’s successes as people credit them as being. And that very niche feeling that only they can really relate to, where Dick and Kyle so often end up being Bruce and Hal’s biggest defenders, and how often this overwrites or gets in the way of Dick and Kyle ever getting to fully express valid resentments they have of how Bruce and Hal’s own actions and choices and reputations impact Dick and Kyle’s lives and actions and choices.

Plus I think they’d just be good for each other - Kyle actually does have the ability to relax and unwind with his art and other hobbies in ways Dick could definitely learn from and benefit from applying to his own life, and Dick has the gravitas and weight of history and experience that means he can really address in actionable ways that Kyle can truly internalize, like the longing Kyle has always had, despite his many accomplishments, to really feel like he isn’t just a hero by happenstance or mistake, that he really belongs among their number. Kyle was a diehard superhero fanboy before he ever got the ring, and you can’t tell me he didn’t have a crush on the first Robin when he debuted back when Kyle was probably in middle school (they’re actually pretty close in age, with everything lending itself to the idea that Kyle’s of a similar age with Dick and the original Titans). Likewise, you can’t tell me Dick has anything but respect for someone who manages to establish himself and his own reputation despite how easy it’d be to be overshadowed by his predecessors and their actions.

They both have extremely parallel storylines even in their particulars......both have been briefly killed then presumed dead and then isolated from their loved ones for a period for a ‘solo mission’ and then blamed for that upon their return, even though Dick wanted nothing to do with that mission and was forced into it by Bruce just like the same is true of Kyle who was backed into his by the Guardians. Both have struggled with suicidal ideation in the past, most notably in the aftermath of Blockbuster and then with Kyle, his subconscious literally created a nemesis for him named Oblivion, who wanted nothing other than his death, because Oblivion was literally Kyle’s own death wish made flesh and blood by Kyle’s willpower and leftover Ion energy. 

Both have nightmares of being hijacked by someone else’s will and used as their puppets, with Dick and his many times being brainwashed and Kyle and his time possessed by Parallax. Both have extremely complicated feelings about children that were never truly theirs, both have been the scapegoat for crimes they didn’t commit, both are wracked with guilt for things they choose to take responsibility for but only because nobody ever told them it wasn’t actually their fault. Both are rape survivors whose rapes were never taken seriously or treated like they matter, and both are desperate for the approval of loved ones and mentors who actually do approve of them very much, but just often struggle to show them that in the ways they really need in order to BELIEVE it.

I could go on, lol, but like, you get it. Don’t worry, you’re not forgetting about some super significant story between Dick and Kyle, it really was just me latching on to that one story from twenty years ago where Kyle’s like if we get out of this alive, I want a hug, and Dick’s like deal, and I was like SOLD. And then my brain manufactured all these other reasons why clearly they are soulmates, and thus you have the Good Ship Dick/Kyle, which I shall sail forever more, no matter if I am only ever a crew of one.

afsbjkfabhjkfaghjkfalhkfla

[ariainstars]

Star Wars, the Last 20 Years or Can We Please Try to Stop the Blame Train?

I would like to touch a subject that’s starting to grate on my nerves a little.

Anyone here knows that I disliked The Rise of Skywalker heartily. And I’m not the only person here or elsewhere who tore it to shreds. But I am reading (again) over and over why and how JJ Abrams, Chris Terrio, Kathleen Kennedy and Co. made this mess. Instead of searching for culprits, this time I would like to point out a few things.

I. Star Wars Prequels

Jake Lloyd, Ahmed Best and Hayden Christensen had to endure awful harassment in their time: the audience largely vented their frustration on them because when the prequels hit theatres, they did not get the Star Wars they had wanted. Politics are a dry subject, and young Anakin and the Jedi Council were all too human to be liked by fans who expect coolness in a hero more than everything else; which is probably why Darth Maul is a huge favorite although we hardly learn anything about him and he says almost nothing. Ditto Obi-Wan although he is clearly not suited to train Anakin and it’s him who maims him and leaves him to burn in the lava. (Until I saw the film, I had always assumed Palpatine had tortured Anakin to push him to the Dark Side.) 

The prequels’ messages in general were not liked: the Jedi were not perfectly wise and cool wizards, the Old Republic was stagnant, Anakin was a hot-headed, frustrated young man desperate to save his wife and unborn children. The films do not want to excuse what he did; however they portray him not as a monster but as a human being who was under an almost unendurable pressure for years and years until he finally snapped.

These messages may not be “cool”, but they were realistic and most of all, humane. Portraying the Jedi as well as Anakin as powerful, flawless heroes and the old Republic as a just, prosperous and balanced place would have meant undermining a central theme of the original trilogy: the former generation could not have been all that powerful and wise, else the collapse of their world and the failure of their convictions would not have happened in the first place. It is a sore point, but still twenty years later Obi-Wan and Yoda denied that Vader was human and expected Luke to commit patricide. 

All of this goes to show that the Jedi’s moral standard was flawed and their attitude not rooted in compassion and pacifism the way they claimed. In the end, what they cared about was winning, no matter the cost. In this, they were no better than the Sith.

~~~more under the cut~~~

II. Star Wars Sequels

J.J. Abrams, Kathleen Kennedy, Bob Iger and company were the ones who introduced the Star Wars sequel trilogy and with it its themes, characters, setting etc. to us in the first place: I think we should give them credit where it’s due. Rian Johnson made a very beautiful second chapter with The Last Jedi, but he did pick up where the others had left. 

Kelly Marie Tran made experiences similar to Jake Lloyds or Hayden Christensen’s when The Last Jedi was hit theatres. She was disliked for not being “Star-Wars-y” enough, chubby and lively instead of wiry and spitfire, and also taking a lot of screen time while many fans were impatiently waiting for some grand scenes from Luke and / or Leia. 

That Episode VIII, the central and most important one, was called “The Last Jedi” cannot be overstated. Luke was literally alone with the heavy task of rebuilding a religious order that was gone and destroyed long before he even learned about it, and at the same time he had to patch together his own family and atone for his father’s sins. This is a crushing burden for anyone to carry. It was important both for Rey and for the audience to meet Luke to see that he was a good man, but still just a man.

When Luke spoke openly to Rey about the failure of the Jedi Order, it was the first time he ever spoke about it that we know of; this wisdom he obviously acquired only after his nephew’s fall to the Dark Side. Luke has understood that the ways of the Jedi were wrong; but he does not know a better alternative. Force users are still born all over the galaxy, and they have to learn to use their powers - only how? Again, Luke is not to blame. How is he to know, when the Jedi of the Old Republic had lost sight of Balance in the Force for so long that they didn’t know what it actually meant anymore? 

Same goes for Leia, the princess without a realm, who tried to rebuild the Republic after the galaxy had been terrorized by the Empire and devastated by war for many years. She assuredly did her best, but she was only human. That she failed her son is of course shocking, but after the horror she had to endure at the hands of her own father it is not surprising that she would be terrified of her son possibly going the same way. Ben, like Anakin, was crushed under a legacy and responsibility that was by far too heavy for him. The tragedy of his life and the disruption - and in the end, obliteration - of his family was another proof for the failure of the ways of the Jedi. 

All of these lessons until now were not learned from. But let’s be honest: how many of us come from dysfunctional families? If we do, was getting away from them enough to heal the wounds of the past? Did we find out what to give our children on their way in life, or did we fail them because we had not elaborated the past enough to make way for a better future? Such problems are very common, and to heal them is complicated and takes time. A “happy ending” e.g. in form of finding a new family is not enough, on the contrary, it can lead to wanting to leave the past behind, leaving wounds unhealed that will fester their way through our lives again, sooner or later. Star Wars always was an allegory of the human mind, even if deeply cloaked in symbolism. The saga also abundantly takes inspiration from the Bible, and I think it’s not coincidentally said there that the sins of the fathers are visited upon the children. 

As fans, we would have wanted to see films that cemented the Jedi as guardians of the galaxy, with the Skywalker family right at the center. Which in itself is impossible because Jedi are supposed to remain unattached, making the mere idea of a Jedi having a family absurd. If the prequels told us that the Jedi were flawed, the sequels tore down the myth of the Skywalker family. And both trilogies showed that you can’t be a Skywalker and / or a Jedi / Force user and have attachments and a happy family of your own at the same time. At least, not until now. 

 III. Film production

Many fans of old complained because the sequel trilogy implied that the “happy ending” of the original trilogy’s heroes had not been so happy after all and that after having made peace for the galaxy, they had failed to keep it that way. Other viewers however liked the new trilogy and new characters right away and began to root for them. But they, too, jumped on the blame train when the trilogy had ended: expectations were not met, and now director, producers, script writers, cutters etc. are faulted all over again.

The first person coming up with the idea of Han’s and Leia’s only child turning to the Dark Side was Lucas himself. It always was a main theme of the saga that war separates people who actually belong together, like family, couples or close friends; that is not played for mere drama, but because it emphasizes the absurdity of war.

We as the audience do not know how production went - it is very possible that Lucas approved the general storyline, and there is always a whole team on board. It is not easy to purchase such a large and immensely popular franchise; it was to be expected that if things went not the way the audience expected, the Disney studios would be blamed harshly for having “ruined Star Wars”. With the prequels, at least Lucas was still at the helm; it was conceded that maybe he had lost his magic touch with storytelling, but certainly not that he was trying deliberately to ruin his own creation. And the fans who could not praise the Disney studios enough after The Last Jedi came out, now blame them over and over.

The Disney studios have long-term politics to consider and contracts to observe, and we don’t know their contents. We have every right to be disappointed, but I think it’s not fair to blame one or a particular group of persons who are trying their best to satisfy as many viewers as possible. If they simply wanted to satisfy the average dudebro who sees nothing but clichés, two-dimensional characters and Good against Evil - then why did they allow The Last Jedi to be produced in the first place? The studios obviously are aware that there are fans out there who are ready to look deeper in the saga’s themes, who wish to see the Force coming to Balance, who value family, friendship and love over “victory at any cost”, and who do not place the Jedi on some kind of pedestal.

In a sense, The Rise of Skywalker seems like a bow before The Last Jedi: the weakest chapter of the saga followed one of its strongest. Maybe the authors were aware that equaling or even topping what Rian Johnson had created would be next to impossible, so they patched up the open threads of The Force Awakens together with some fan service hoping to be out of the business as quickly as possible.

In retrospect, the infamous podcast with Charles Soule might also be tell-tale: Soule obviously is not elbows-deep in the saga and largely ignores its subtext. Since his The Rise of Kylo Ren comics are quite well-made, I assume that the general storyline did not stem from his own creativity and that he only carried out what he had been advised to do. The production of the whole sequel trilogy may have happened in a similar way. I am not excusing the poor choices of The Rise of Skywalker; merely considering that one or a few persons cannot be blamed in a studio that has thousands of creative minds on board.

I am still hoping for the next trilogy to finally bring Balance to the galaxy, and also into the fandom. Rian Johnson had negotiated the rights for the next trilogy along with The Last Jedi; I assume it is very possible that there was a clause about intellectual property saying that only he would continue Episode VIII’s topics, nobody else. This would at least be an explanation, given the embarrassing, jumbled mess that Episode IX was.

The overall title of the saga assuredly never wanted to inspire the audience to start online wars attacking the studios or the actors or other fans out of the conviction of being entitled to blame someone else’s worldview. The saga’s message is compassion. Both George Lucas and the Disney studios are telling us their story; the idea and the rights do not belong to us. Harping on “whose fault” it allegedly is won’t bring us anywhere; what we can do is make the studios understand that we’re not too stupid not to understand the subtext, the symbolism and metaphysics of the saga beyond the action story. If they listened to the Last Jedi haters, in all fairness they are bound to listen to us, too. 😊

  IV. Will Ben’s story continue?

My husband already warned me years ago that Ben most probably wouldn’t survive, or at least not get a happy ending. As Kylo Ren he had already been the head of a criminal organization for six years at the start of The Force Awakens, but all of that perhaps could still have been condoned within the scope of war. It was the very personal and intentional act of patricide, the killing of an unarmed, forgiving man, who turned him into a damned person. And after the deed, Ben was aware of it. He knew there was no way out for him, he had gone too far.

Many members of the audience did not understand that Kylo / Ben is not an out-and-out villain and that this narrative ultimately was about his redemption. Bringing him back to the Resistance after the Exegol battle alive and by Rey’s side would not have been accepted; how was Rey to explain everything when she hardly understood it herself? How would the audience have reacted to the former head of a criminal organization, a patricide, suddenly standing out as a hero? Remember how in Return of the Jedi Luke asked Vader to come away with him. Now suppose Vader had complied? It would have seemed (and been) sheer madness. Nobody would have believed neither father nor son that the terror of the galaxy had had a sudden turn of heart. Nobody knew that he was Luke’s father; Luke himself did not know Anakin’s backstory; nobody knew what had transpired between Luke and Vader so far. Yes, Ben was young and healthy, but he still had terrorized the galaxy for years and killed his own father. He knew himself that he was damned and could not go back to normality, as Vader did.

Rey was coded as the heroine: narratively, the sequel trilogy was her story. Ben couldn’t become the hero, with or without her, at the very last moment. She usurped power like her grandfather in his time, the Skywalker family was obliterated the way the Jedi were, she takes over another mantle (Skywalker) the way Palpatine did (becoming the Emperor). Balance in the Force never was truly in the cards, it was only vaguely hinted at in The Last Jedi by the Force mosaic in the Ahch-To temple. Balance is a complex and difficult subject; it would have been extremely difficult to develop it in the sequel trilogy together with introducing the new characters and giving the old ones closure.

However: if Ben is brought back in the next trilogy, his sacrifice for Rey will have been his atonement. If his role this time is not that of the villain but of the hero, it would reverse Anakin’s path and make clear that he no longer is the same man. Vader was redeemed, not rehabilitated. His grandson might still have the chance to go that way.

- Luke had promised Rey a third lesson, and it happened. He also had promised Ben to “see him around”, which has not taken place yet.

- On Tatooine, Rey watches the twin suns setting, same as Luke before he met the other half of his soul (his twin sister) again.

- The studios had said that the sequels would be “very much like the prequels”; the prequels were a tragedy where the Dark Side (Palpatine) won that was followed by a fairy tale where the Light Side won.

- The Skywalker saga is closed, so if Ben comes back it would be justified by his being a Solo, i.e. the story of his own family and not his grandfather’s.

- Given the parallels with Beauty and the Beast, the Beast died before the broken spell brought him back, making him a wholly new person - his past identity, purged and redeemed.

- George Lucas repeatedly said that the prequels and the classics belong together as one narrative, with Anakin Skywalker at its center. First news of the next trilogy came up with The Last Jedi. Since there are strong parallels between Ben and his grandfather, we may assume that this six-chapter instalment will be his; Anakin also was left for dead but came back with a wholly different role and name.

- When Anakin was reborn as Darth Vader, he “rose” slowly from the ground, clad in his black armor. Ben fell to the ground abruptly and shed his black clothes, disappearing. This could be another clue. (It was also already speculated that Leia’s body dissolved exactly in this moment because she gave her life-force to her son for him to have another chance to live. Both Han and Luke had done what they could to atone for their remorse towards Ben; this might be her turn.)

- Much as I love Luke Skywalker, I can understand that Lucas did not see him as the saga’s protagonist. The overall arch is not so much about Luke’s heroism than about Anakin’s redemption and atonement. It is unusual because we expect the story’s “hero” to be the one who kills the Bad Guy; and indeed Anakin is, because he kills Palpatine in the end, the twist being that technically he is also a villain though not the archvillain.

- Ben had promised Anakin he would finish what he started. Anakin had been meant to bring Balance to the Force, and he had started a family. Until now, Ben did neither.

- If Ben and Rey are a dyad, i.e. one soul in two bodies, then Rey is in urgent need of her soulmate for her future tasks. She has her friends of course, but none of them gets her the way he did.

So, I still see reason to hope for a continuation, and, hopefully, satisfying conclusion of The Last Jedi’s themes.

  Film production: on a side note…

In the Nineties, Kirk Wise and Gary Trousdale were the directors both of Beauty and the Beast and Atlantis: two more different stories are hardly imaginable with regard to everything - drawing style, setting, characters, development, music etc. This outcome can’t have been only due to the director’s choices, there must have been a wholly different idea behind both films right from the beginning. Just saying.

[elmidol]

Error: Program Not Found - Thirteen

Summary:  You are in charge of programming the droids that work most closely with both General Hux and Kylo Ren. Unbeknownst to you, each of these two men have it in their heads that your relationship extends beyond the workplace. This causes things to escalate quickly when your two apparently secret boyfriends compare notes on their respective partner who is far too similar for their liking.

Read on AO3 

“You use a glass mirror to see your face; you use works of art to see your soul.” - George Bernard Shaw

 Thirteen: Inspirational

 The senator’s arrival had managed to squash your otherwise good mood, and it was the knowledge that you would not be required to approach him until the following morning that kept you from feeling utterly miserable. That as well as the messages that had been delivered to your inbox by Anonymous and Unknown. You worked to unveil which of the identities was Kylo Ren and which was General Hux to no avail. Their similarities were more pronounced in their writing than when conversing with either man in person. This was to be expected given how the written word worked. Droids became less individualized when you were staring at their lines of coding; it was the limitation of relying on the surface of things, the absence of body language to highlight the quirks and unspoken thoughts. Kylo Ren and General Hux were closed off, private, mistrustful.

 Both had sent word of the senator having come to the planet, which led you to believe that they were not in league with one another--unless they were trying to throw you off their scent. It was difficult for you to picture them collaborating together on something of this nature, except in the case where they would make it into a competition. Your lips quirked to the side at that thought. There was something primal about two men fighting over you that made you feel desirable. A little like a piece of meat as well, a sort of trophy. The lack of physical damage to one another saved you from disliking the position you were in. To top it off, it was better to focus on them than your impending interactions with the senator. You still had to determine which aspects of the physical therapy droids that you wanted to share. Leaking too much information could very well result in your idea being stolen.

 With a sigh, you settled back against the pillow and opened one of the new messages that were waiting for you in the inbox. Stress melted away from you with revelation that the message itself was little more than a picture; underneath it was the title of the painting. It was from a local artist that, from what you could recall, was growing in prominence. Depicted was a female humanoid so concealed in luxurious silks and gems that you could not properly note her species. Only her eyes stuck out, lovely things that they were. You were drawn to peer into those depths, which were lifelike. Your breath stilled in your chest as you scanned the entire painting to appreciate all its details. The sender of this message had been Unknown, and you wondered how best to respond to him. It might be that he was a connoisseur of arts or else this one piece had somehow managed to catch his attention.

 You debated for a few moments longer before typing up a line of gratitude that preceded a question as to whether he enjoyed many paintings and, if so, who his favorite artist was. It did not matter the identity of the man at that point; you simply wished to know more about him, what it was that had led him to enjoy the painting enough to send it to you.

 After clicking send on your response to the painting, you returned to the inbox and opened a new message from Anonymous. This correspondence was entirely text-based yet no less artistic.

 To stand upon the hightest tower of Coruscant,

You will miss the brightest land verdant;

The durasteel walls tighten like a cage around you,

Unlike the open halls found on Naboo;

Yet across the skies that they share are the stars above,

Here I pray, though apart, you feel my love.

 You discovered that your mind was piecing together popular images from both planets and arranging them so that they stood in juxtaposition to each other. The fields of Naboo that Coruscant could not boast, the fresh air of the former planet as well. Yet Coruscant had its own beauty amongst those durasteel towers and the pollutants that was known to partner itself with city life. Loveliness in the chaos. You pictured two lonely souls staring up into the sky. Each person on a different planet, longing for more, for one another. A sadness threatened to creep over you. What if, in the end, the two lovers did not meet?

 Shaking your head, you shoved aside that line of negative thinking then grunted in response to Aelin asking if you were fine. He was laying on his bed with both hands atop his stomach. If not for his presence, you might have ventured to pursue a different topic of conversation with the two men messaging you. It had been awkward enough during the last portion of your meal when it had dawned on you that the sexually charged flirtations had occurred in front of Aelin. For his part, he had ignored it as much as he could.

 You chewed on your bottom lip as you started your reply to the poem. Though it had instilled a sense of melancholy, the hopefulness of the words had stuck out as well and left you with an appreciation of the piece. Like with the painting, you wondered what it was about the poem that had caught the sender’s attention and also if they read poetry on a more regular basis. The message read similar to the one that you had sent to Unknown, with necessary changes to better suit the poem.

 You rather enjoyed that the two men held an interest in the arts in some form or another. It set aside the role they played in the looming war that would break out once the First Order was in a better position to take charge. This more human face that you could glimpse behind the safety of a screen helped you to feel less alone. The knowledge that hidden parts within each person were held private for a reason; it reminded you of the droids you had worked on. Lines of code that most would never see despite their importance in the grand scheme of things. Those lines aided in dictating what actions the individual would commit to.

 “You’re smiling again,” Aelin muttered, not unkindly. You rolled your eyes though you felt your grin widening in spite of the audience you had obtained with the expression. “Is it work related? I’m curious.”

 “No, it is not work related,” you said, turning your head and meeting his gaze. His countenance betrayed nothing if he was suspicious of your actions beyond idle curiosity. The decision to alter the course of the conversation before that had a chance to change prompted: "Do you think I should include mentions of the anti procrastination droids as well?"

 Aelin's features twisted, contorting and scrunching as he considered the question. There was merit in revealing that a variety of projects were underway; the senator might be more apt to provide more credits. On the reverse, it spiraled back to ideas being stolen and also could result in him pushing to discuss all projects to include the assassination droids. You half wished that TeeArr was present to aid in distracting the senator despite being fully aware that he would have had the complete opposite effect. While he was continuing to internally debate, you heard the tell-tale sounds of two messages arriving, one a few seconds after the first.

 Though you had messaged him second, Anonymous had been the first one to send a reply. You opened it without reading. Aelin had begun to speak at that same moment. “I would hold onto that information in case he presses to talk about the assassination droids after you’ve already spoken of the physical therapy ones. Gives you another means of changing the subject and putting emphasis on this particular project since it encompasses both droids.” He stifled a yawn with one hand. “Mm. Do you mind if I watch a holodrama?”

 “Thank you,” you said. “And no--go right ahead. I won’t bother me.” You quite welcomed the distraction that Aelin would be offered by the holodrama, whichever one he happened to select. This gave you a semblance of privacy, a lower risk of him noticing the way your expressions altered as you read the messages you received.

 The program Aelin selected was older and you were vaguely familiar with the storyline though you had not watched it yourself. Once he was more immersed in that, you returned your attention to the datapad in your hand and the message displayed thereupon.

 Anonymous: [It is an older poem that I was taught as a part of my education. The senator may be familiar with it should you require material necessary to dissuade him from lingering too long on droids as a subject matter. He will enjoy hearing himself talk.]

 For another time you felt your face breaking out into a smile that was filled to the brim with amusement. He had only half answered your questions, however you were not disappointed. It was thoughtful for him to have done this, and truth be told you had not considered going this route with the senator. This was not entirely surprising given the fact that you had not had much experience one-on-one interacting with senators or other politicians for that matter. Such business was conducted in larger groups, not dissimilar to when  you presented potential projects to the Board at the First Order.

 Music filtered into your musings as the holodrama Aelin watched droned on. Instead of responding to the message from Anonymous, you switched over to the reply that Unknown  had sent.

 Unknown: [Do you know the story behind this painting?]

 Once more, not a proper reply to the questions that you had sent. With a shrug, you composed a brief message stating that you did not along with a nudge that you were now more curious about it. After sending this, you returned to the message from Anonymous to thank him for being considerate and attentive to your needs.

 Unknown: [The artist stated that she is a spectre, a ghost from his past that he saw on three separate occasions. The night before his mother’s passing. A day after his childhood friend left the planet and never returned. The final occurrence was during his graduation from school.]

 You stared at the message without reacting for a beat. Then your eyes narrowed and you found yourself unsure if this meant the woman was an omen for tragedy or success. Was she just some figment of the artist’s imagination. No matter the case, it hit you that Unknown truly was, at least somewhat, invested in this particular painting. To know its history as he did, to have the desire to share it. That was personal. You set aside your datapad and laid down while staring up at the ceiling. These men were going to give you an existential crisis.

 After dozing off for a stretch, you quietly slipped off the bed and entered the bathroom with a bundle of fresh clothing to ensure that you looked more presentable when meeting with the senator. The reflection in the mirror showed subtle signs of exhaustion, albeit nothing beyond what was expected with how life had been proceeding. You wanted to get a headstart on the man you were to meet with as a means of gaining the upper hand. Part of that included taking care of your basic needs before he was out of bed. Prior to exiting the room, you checked your datapad for any new messages yet found nothing of note. Aelin was lightly snoring, nothing obnoxious or that would have wakened you had you not already been up and moving.

 One the items on your to-do list was to purchase food for breakfast given the fact that you had already agreed to do so. Aelin had already given his order, which you had memorized, and you were willing to pay the extra credits to have the meal delivered at a specified time. You grabbed something small for yourself as well. It had been dark out when you had first left the building in which you were staying; one of the stormtroopers escorted you, and the two of you watched the sunrise in a shared silence. You were not yet sure if the stormtrooper would remain with you once you encountered the senator. A part of you did not mind the idea. Another part of you knew that it would be more difficult to make the meeting seem happenstance instead of premeditated. In the end you did not have to worry; returning indoors had been enough for the stormtrooper to break away from you and resume his previous post.

 The lull in activity offered the opportunity to digest the fact that neither Anonymous nor Unknown had sent more messages. You took into consideration the fact that they might have been aiming to not overwhelm you since the both of them were aware of the senator. Plus, you thought after a second, Aelin’s presence might deter them. You smiled a little at that, recalling the thrill you had felt when racing against the clock as you masturbated. Their behavior during the meal was just as exhilarating. Your mind began to race through scenarios wherein you found yourself alone with one of them. Would they kiss you? With no one watching, would they touch you? Your face heated up at the memory of the message that had been sent regarding you being fucked in front of others during the meeting.

 What if both of them had you? One of them inside of your cunt and the other in your mouth? “Ah!” You yelped out a swear at the sound. Turning, you spotted the speaker. The senator was escorted by one of his guards and accompanied by a single advisor. The small entourage caused you to inwardly groan. This was something that you had expected, however it did not make you any less annoyed; having the senator one-on-one would be less taxing. “I did not mean to startle you.” There was a slight purr to his voice that you had heard in the past whenever he felt he was in control of the situation. This, naturally, put you into the exact position you wanted to be in: on his good side.

 You placed a hand over your chest to feign a more exaggerated rattled state than what you were truly in. “Sorry, I did not mean to swear like that.” The best way to go about this conversation was to rely predominantly on truths. He shook his head and took a step nearer to you. “I was hoping to find you, actually.” You worked through ways to seem submissive simultaneous to taking charge. The man’s advisor was frowning, his eyes pinched halfway closed as he glowered at you in suspicion. You jerked your gaze away from his then chewed on your bottom lip before speaking again. “It stuck with me, your interest in the...thing we discussed in the previous meeting.”

 “Oh?”

 “Mm,” you hummed with a nod. “That one is a bit ways off, what with needing proper programming and trial periods. I hope that is not disappointing.” The senator and advisor shared a look. His guard was generally unresponsive to anything that did not involve fulfilling his duty. This was enough to increase your pre-existing suspicions that he had sought out others for the droid series. You inwardly bristled while outwardly you maintained a calm facade. Kylo Ren’s words echoed in your head, the permission he had given you to lie. “Thankfully we hold the appropriate patents to dissuade others from pursuing a similar model.”

 Both were frowning, frustration blossoming on the advisor’s face while the senator appeared more angry than anything. You waved a hand in the air dismissively. “That is beside the point. I just wanted to thank you for the vote of confidence in the project and for your secrecy.”

 Maker, I am bored talking to this man. Your mind kept drifting back to the thoughts that had taken residence directly before his approach. Until this point, you had not realized just how much you wanted physical intimacy. Or even just sex, take away any other element that might exist. Your mind circled back to intimacy, however, and the poem that had been sent to you along with the art. It was the poem that you mentioned as a means of breaking up the silent conversation that had been transpiring between senator and advisor while you had been distracted by your reverie. You wanted to keep the physical assistant droids as an Ace up your sleeve during the meeting. You would still not put it past the man to mention the TR8-0R droids, more so now that he believed his plans to go around the First Order were compromised. Sex really would be preferable to this.

 Introducing the poem had a powerful impact. The senator pulled away from his advisor with a soft smile that you had never witnessed on his countenance before. You were tugged away from your negative line of thinking. As tantalizing as sex was, you realized that these interactions could translate into your future conversations with General Hux and Kylo Ren. Shift away from business, leave behind work, and focus on something that others would think trivial. A poem of all things, which was evocative of countless emotions. You had been handed a weapon, albeit not one to harm others. One that was a key of sorts. The senator could not duck away from any questions you posed his way as easily as Anonymous and Unknown had; there was no screen for him to hide behind.

 Relaxing into the conversation, you listened as the senator began to speak in a more animated, less haughty fashion than he was wont to do. Though you heard everything that he said, some portions were not committed to memory. Your mind drifted in places. You remembered the conversation that you had had with Kylo Ren in the training area. How personal that had been, how it had led to the kiss. Next your encounter with General Hux.

 Armitage and Kylo… Both, truly, were the woman in the painting; elusive, puzzles you could not figure out.  What did they represent for your personal life?

 “There was a sister poem to that one,” the senator said, drawing you out of your thoughts for another time. His advisor lingered several steps behind, your small party having started to walk through the hallway. “It compared Arkanis and Tatooine.” A desert and a planet that rained so frequently. You felt your smile widen at that. This glimpse into a side of the senator that you had not known existed was humbling. It reminded you that you saw only portions of people. This was precisely how you had missed the fact that General Hux and Kylo Ren had each believed themselves to be involved with you.

 I need to speak with them one-on-one in a setting that isn’t...a ship or a base… I need to use this time wisely. Lunch and maybe dinner. Or between meals.

 “Was the poem with Arkanis written first?” You recalled that this was the birth planet of Armitage Hux, and you were curious if he knew of the poem. If he knew of either of the poems; it was again driving you crazy to not know which man was Anonymous and which was Unknown. Simply more motivation to get them by themselves.

 The senator held up a hand haplessly. “I am afraid there are contradicting statements on that.” So much less pompous. The less time he spent conferring with his advisor, the more you enjoyed his company. Maker above, you hated politics. “I do know that the poet is said to have been related to a Jedi.”

 Kylo then? He would know more of that, wouldn’t he? Except...the Jedi were involved in politics. You ran your tongue along your lips. “I think I am going to have to do some more research.” He chuckled then suggested the title to a book as a starting point. This you did commit to memory, promising yourself that you were going to mention it to the sender of the poem. See how they responded. It was your goal to unmask them before the day was through.