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After a several month long break, Unreal Unearth inspired Astarion fics should hopefully start coming out soon <3

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reblog if your blog is a safe space for ghouls and goblins

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Haarlep listening to the muffled sounds of Raphael doing his lil musical number while getting his ass beat by the adventurer they fucked earlier.

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Oh so this is what we've been doing down down down by the river...

Something about the idea of Astarion doing his laundry in the river by camp... his hair kept out of his face by a scrap of fabric that he's fashioned into a headband.... the legs of his trousers rolled up to his calves as he squats, barefoot in ankle deep water.

His expression is far too intense for someone who is only focused on scrubbing away stains. Eyebrows furrowed. Tongue peeking out. Eyes laser locked on that one stubborn drop of blood that doesn't want to come out of the collar of his shirt.

Sometimes, you come with him to do some laundry of your own, and he is not pleased. Not because he doesn't enjoy your company or anything, but because (Gods help you) you're doing it wrong. Which really just means you're not washing your clothes the way he would wash them. Too much soap (what??). Too much water (how?).

Too much force, you absolute barbarian, give those here!

He doesnt even ask. He takes your trousers right out of your hands mid-scrub and starts doing everything for you instead. Complains about how heavy-handed you were and demonstrates the proper way to go about it while you sit on a big rock and grin like a fool.

Yall, I want him so bad I look stupid.

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I THINK! After 200 years in constant close quarters with six other people that also couldn't see their own reflections. That Astarion just like. Fusses and grooms and tidies the TadFools without even realizing what he's doing. Just mid conversation without stopping to mention it at all. One of Lae'zel's beads almost falls out so he is turning to refasten it while she continues talking to someone else. Gale is explaining a theory to him and he's brushing dirt and loose hairs off of the shoulders of his robes. He puts a cute little bauble on one of Wyll's horns.

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all drow women know is contemplate they skull, tend to mushrooms, express violence, adjust armor, plot future, and be bothered by the sun.

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Clawing at my enclosure in anticipation for this, Ethel Cain and Astarion combined will absolutely be the death of me.

astarion ptolomaea piece. in the works. listen to it NOW.

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My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called "Hshar'lak" 😳 you'll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don't feel shit

5 minutes later: kin I swear I just saw the traitor Voss in our camp

My kin Ta'av pacing:

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This and the “You’d better bark like you want it” Astarion edit are my Roman Empire.

IF YOURE WONDERING HOW FANCAM editors on TikTok are coping with UMG removing major music titles from the app and muting MILLIONS of videos, well wonder no further bc they evolved in mere hours. Now we

Have

Home Depot commercial theme Astarion.

Fancam editors will never die. Also great character commentary:

Me too Trasha. I think so too.

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I’m about to write soooo many Astarion Unreal Unearth fics lets gooooo!!!!

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This is a Karlach appreciation post.

That is all.

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One day left for those who may want to vote! <3

Okay so remember my post about writing an Astarion fic for every Hozier song?

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Do you take smut requests? 👀

Absolutely! I love being inspired/asked to write smut, always feel more than free to send some in as long as requests are open <3

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me DMing on tumblr: I am so fortunate we have become true friends even though we are hundreds of miles apart

me posting on tumblr: I am #addicted to boy pussy

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All of my problems would be solved if I had a silver-haired vampire sprawled across my lap to give kisses and tell jokes to until he laughs that endearing laugh of his- high and soft and so close to my ear that I can feel the whisper of his cool breath against my neck–

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Ahhh tysm for the tag @hopeful-n-sad, it absolutely made my day when I saw it <3

(Also lets all just ignore the fact that it's the next Wednesday right now haha, I was holding off so I could maybe post a preview of a Hozier inspired fic of mine, but it doesn't feel right so I decided to go with something else before waiting any longer)

That being said, here's a preview of the next part to my Astarion x Half-Drow f!Reader oneshot series, Luminary:

He was just tired, weary from his travels and his fitful Trances whilst on the road, and drained from scarcely having fed since he'd last had you in his tent back before his dream had ever happened.

And no, that wasn't because you were the most utterly delectable creature he'd ever had the pleasure of tasting, ruining nearly anything else for him (whoever would say such a thing?!) but rather because he simply hadn't wanted to.

Hadn't felt a sudden pang of hunger during battle when the smell of your blood had permeated the air (where were you? Who dared spill your blood so thoughtlessly?).

Hadn't had to fight the urge to lick your gore from the enemy's blade after skillfully impaling the poor fool through the throat mere moments after scenting you (What a waste. Are you okay? Are you okay? Are you okay?).

Hadn't been ignoring the urge to hunt because he knew that whatever he caught would pale in comparison to the incarnadine ichor that flowed through your veins (and yours alone, for no other could compare, none, never at all).

No. None of that.

Nothing of the sort had even come close to happening.

He just hadn't wanted to feed. Not from anything, and most certainly not from you (even if your blood was one of the only things he ever truly craved anymore, second only to your touch, which he had also very successfully deprived himself of, so clearly he didn't need either at all).

No.

WIP Wednesday

Tagged by @bardic-inspo (thank you!)

Well, it was already Thursday down here by the time I saw the mention, but I am roughly a day ahead of the majority of tumblr (I presume - never looked into any geographic statistics if there are any). Still Wednesday somewhere in Alaska as I post this.

Tagging @spacebarbarianweird @justporo and @brabblesblog (no pressure though!); anyone else welcome to participate as well (if you do - tag meeee!)

Here's a piece of my current WIP - might keep it under a cut, as it's NSFW.

“Maybe if they could see how wet I can make you just by rubbing your back they’d reconsider how much of a joke this is,” he said, his voice low. He continued to pump his fingers in and out – you were almost embarrassed by the loud squelching sounds that came out of you. You moaned and tried to lift your hips higher, but your legs were encased between his thighs, pinned down on the bedroll. “Do you think you’d be reacting this way to young Ravengard, darling?”  “Stop it,” you hissed. “You know I don’t want anyone but you.”  “Stop?” he pulled his fingers out, to your dissatisfied whine. You looked back to see him studying your slick on his fingers. “I should go smear this on his face right now... The audacity to try to get his hands on what is not his.” He licked his fingers clean instead. He turned his attention back to you.