#satirical

[ianmcewan42]

The Crisis of Public Debt

Chameleon Summarised Post: The UK and USA are drowning in public debt, propped up for years by low interest rates. Now that rates are rising, the debt burden is exposed as unsustainable. Despite this, political leaders avoid the tough choices — higher taxes, lower spending — and keep kicking the can down the road. Crisis risk is low… until it’s not. THE SLOW-MOTION SUICIDE OF WESTERN FISCAL…

[samaelqayin]

[sxviour-mxchine]

If you they/them those who don't use they/them after that person has already told you those aren't the right pronouns... I am releasing wasps into your residence.

If you're homeless I hope you find a home... So I can release wasps into it 😊😊😊

[blitherbug]

What your favoutite fallout faction says about you,

Fallout 4

Fo4 Brottherhood:

How dose boot leather taste?

Rail road

You'r willing to fight for whats right even if there a bit bland in game

Minutemen

Either you want to keep the status quo, killled the other factions, or you just really like raidant quests. If its one of the last 2 consider seeking help.

Institute

3 option you play the instituite: wishing you could make peace though you cant(even when director wtf bethesda). Or You a strong beliver of the ends justify the mean. Or you lack moral character , synths are people plain and simple

Far harbour

Far harbour

You believe in helping the common people, more power to ya

Children of atom

L+glory to atom+ get squished by atoms judgement

Arcadia

Your sure do like trying to get the best outcome

Nuka world

Raiders

Either your going through the dlc in a way to get the most out of it or you lack some serious moral character, they are slavers in three flavors plan and simple,

Fallout new vegas

Ncr

Paroling the Mojave makes ya wish for a Nucular winter, docent its

House

whats your opinion on elon?

Yes man

Either you want to fuck him or you believe that all the other (ending) factions are dumb, either way fair enough

Cesar

Well you just like playing a evil little guy now don't ya

Brotherhood oh your poor little meow meow's great khans

boomers there pretty cool and a bomber seems like a great resource to have at your disposal :3 king's

Woaah mama that's real slick of ya, also robo dog WHOOOOOOO omertas i can say with 100% certainty you are not nerbit tops bottom white gloves when people say someone is a snack it is not an invitation to eat them.

[slavicafire]

now that enough days have passed since chicago... i've partaken in multiple parties and afterparties with Vaguely Unspecified Work Persons, both in poland and in london, with a variety of Vaguely Unspecified Things happening in the background. crazier things than chicago.

and yet NOTHING nothing prepared me for the whiplash of just simply getting shitfaced drunk with someone whom I very deeply respect. intellectually, in their work ethic, and as a person. and purely accidentally, inadvertently, to the utmost horror experienced by us both, discovering we share the same exact kink. which would be sort of fine because it should also make us incompatible (we share the same role in that kink) if not for the fact that we discovered it because we had our eyes on the same exact mark. and discovered the competition only makes it better. and that sharing would be so absolutely fucking exciting. IF it wasn't so deeply unethical. inappropriate. we would never go for it.

obviously.

[jesussbignaturals]

Do NOT frot with a Penis Pepper it does NOT go well

[case-e-chang]

40 Clever And Poignant Satirical Illustrations From Artist Pawel Kuczynski

[tracklessreason]

Common Knowledge Inaccessible Due to Parents Who Think Learning to Take Care of Yourself Comes Out of Thin Air

by TracklessReason

In today's news, an incredible new survey shows that up to 72% of the world's population under the age of 30 do not know how to care for themselves. This includes proper hygiene, household chores, food preparation and basic first aid.

When questioned about their habits, many poll takers showed unwavering confidence in their ability to perform these tasks, but failed to identify the correct method in which to do them. Upon being shown their results, a whopping 92% of participants were surprised by their ineptitude, while the remaining 8% were unfortunately hit by buses due to cheating death in a plane crash early this week.

The remaining percentage were interviewed by reporter Natya Business, with an excerpt from one anonymous poll taker below:

Natya: So, how did you score on the aptitude test? Anonymous: Uh, I think I got like, a thirty-two? I don't know, it was wild. N: Fascinating. This means you join the majority of society in failing at simple tasks. Can you perhaps shed some light on why you believe this may have happened? A: I thought I knew all this stuff. Like, when you're a kid, you don't know sh*t, so you ask your parents, and they just tell you to figure it out, so you do. I guess it never occurred to me that just because you think your strategy is working out, doesn't mean it's...correct, I guess? F*ck man, I've been showering wrong for twenty-four years... I need to go home and change my sheets or some sh*t. F*ck.

This response, and many like it, revealed a disturbing pattern; most young individuals felt as though their horrible, pathetic failures in life began with the apathy of their parents towards their needs.

"People forget that kids have no knowledge whatsoever to start off with. You can try to teach them something, only to realize you left out a vital detail because it seemed so fundamental to you that you didn't realize it was something that needed to be taught." -Man Suspiciously Shaped Like Three Toothbrushes In A Trenchcoat

Further research shows that most parents don't bother teaching their crotch goblins at all, preferring a "Fake It 'Till You Make It" strategy wherein children must 'use their brains and figure out' information that no child in the history of ever has been able to figure out on their own, due to this not being how learning works.

A literal five headed fire breathing dragon had this to say on the matter:

"Kids today have more access to information than we ever did. They know how to use the Googler*, or whatever it's called, so maybe they should use that to read a book instead of being on Snaptok* or ChitChat* all day. I learned everything on my own, and I turned out just fine." *these are not real terms, but we aren't about to correct a literal five headed fire breathing dragon.

This grossly inaccurate opinion fails to address the common failing of technology: if you don't know what you're looking for, you are going to end up misinformed.

Most toddlers are inexplicably unable to navigate Google and identify trustworthy sources, and thus end up believing shady rumors such as "cows say oink".

The ultimate verdict comes down to this: teach your kids how to do stuff, no they will not figure it out without any guidance. This is literally your only job as a parent.

by TracklessReason March 5th, 2025

[ianmcewan42]

Chameleon Amid the implosion of key UK industries—automotive, steel, and oil—Comcast’s Universal Destinations & Experiences announces plans to build a massive theme park in Bedfordshire, promising 28,000 jobs and a £50 billion economic injection by 2055. A Cartoon Castle on the Corpse of Industry While the nation’s manufacturing backbone crumbles into dust, we’re tossing glitter at a burning…

[themisinformer]

April is Financial Literacy Month! Here Are 10 Tips to Keep Your Finances in Check

April is Financial Literacy Month, which means it’s that time for banks, credit card companies, and billionaires to pretend that they care about your financial wellbeing. In the spirit of performative responsibility, we’ve compiled a list of 10 incredibly helpful tips that’ll help you master your finances — or at least be able to fake it enough to post about it on LinkedIn.

1. Budget Like You’re Being Watched

Create a budget that looks good on paper and even better in an Instagram Story. Color code your spending categories. Add a motivational quote. Will you actually follow it? Of course not. But people will think you have your life together, and people’s perception of you is all that really matters at the end of the day.

2. Avoid Impulse Spending (Unless You’re Sad, Happy, Bored, Tired, or Alive)

Impulse spending is a big financial no-no. Unless there’s a sale on Amazon. Or if you’re browsing the mall and see some Designer clothes that you think you’d look really good in. Or if you just feel like it. Basically, never buy anything on impulse. But if you do — fuck it, you’re already in mass debt and your credit score is in the toilet, so you might as well go all out.

3. Build An Emergency Fund Big Enough to Cover a Single Unexpected Uber Ride

Experts recommend saving 3-6 months worth of expenses in case of an emergency. Realistically, just try put aside enough money for an Uber ride for when you’re drunk downtown.

4. Understand Your Credit Score (or At Least Learn to Fear it)

Your credit score is just like your GPA from high school; no one fully understands how it works. Just know that you’re in some tough shit if it’s below 700, and if it starts with a “5,” then you might just want to consider suicide.

5. Regularly Invest Early in Things That You Don’t Understand

Everyone knows that crypto and NFTs of cartoon raccoons wearing Gucci headbands are the future — or at least we hope it is. If it seems totally useless to anybody besides terminally online douchebags, then be sure to invest all of your money in it, because terminally online douchebags control the economy these days. The adrenaline rush you get from wondering.

6. Stop Buying Coffee And Then You’ll Be a Millionaire By Age 307

This one small sacrifice will allow you to be able to buy a house and car within the next few generations.

7. Max Out Your 401(k) Right After You Find Out What it is

Planning for retirement is important. By the time you Google what the hell a Roth IRA is, you should already have your 401(k) completely maxed out. Hurry up, the clock is ticking!

8. Temporarily Cancel Unneeded Subscriptions Before You Realize That You Did Actually Need Them

Let’s be honest, all of us have unknowingly paid for a subscription service every month that we only used a few times before we completely forgot about it. This is why it’s important to look through your expenses and axe any unused subscriptions before you realize that you were actually halfway through that one show where wealthy attractive people date each other for money.

9. Talk About Money Openly And Honestly, Unless You’re At a Family Gathering

Financial transparency can be empowering — unless you’re around your relatives, in which case it’s just best to mumble something about egg prices before quickly changing the subject to how Californians are ruining the state or whatever.

10. Accept That You’re Going to Get Fucked Over By Capitalism No Matter What

No amount of budgeting tips can save you from a $1,200 rent, $500 car payment, and the clusterfuck that is the U.S. healthcare system. But hey, at least now you know what an APR is.

This April, celebrate Financial Literacy Month in the only way that makes sense: by looking at your bank account, screaming internally, and adding “financial expert” to your LinkedIn profile. Because in the end, financial literacy will never improve your financial situation, but it will improve your financial vocabulary and make it sound like you have your financials under control.

Happy Financial Literacy Month!

[revanchist90]

The Phony Pres' of 'Mur'ca

Well the world will 'fess of a 'Mur'can Pres' a thousand years from now-- but not because he passed some laws or had a noble brow; while those before who had the chore of Prezzing do look on, we'll all have to slave away for that Good-for-nothing Don! Incredible as he is inept whenever the history books are kept they'll call him the Phony Pres' of 'Mur'ca!

(A pox on the Phony Pres' of 'Mur'ca!)

He stands alone on a giant throne pretending he's a king-- a little tyke who's rather like a puppet on a string; and he throws an angry tantrum when he cannot have his way; then calls for Elon-ia to go down on his—well, yeah.

Too late to be called America's First, he's sure to be known as America's Worst-- a pox on that Phony Pres' of 'Mur'ca!

While they break this land to pieces and rob us all of bread and homes, and while the spineless fiends he hired add to our woes and groans, we will not cease nor sue for peace 'til all of them are gone-- we'll find a way to make him pay for all the wrongs he's done.

And when he sees the game is up, he might take a Socratesian cup-- that breezy and uneasy Pres' of 'Mur'ca!

That ramblin' gamblin' gibberin' jabberin' wheelin' dealin' thunderin' blunderin' schemin' demon Russian munchin'--

orange grunge grabby crabby lyin' conman greedy 'n needy braindead fishhead--

Old Don, that Phony Pres' of 'Mur'ca!

[frankendykez]

romanticising abuse is fun and awesome and the only way you'll get into heaven i love romanticising abuse

[domlarkin]

The Lack Of Cultural Quality On Linkedin

I like to subvert systems from within,

But it's hard amidst distraction's din.

I spend my time on Linkedin by writing

Articles that no one wants to read. I raise

Doubts about empires of greed. I like things

Of cultural quality, not the same

Old garish, ghastly pictures of 'cute' cats.

Yet I'll continue to raise consciousness

About worthiest causes and all that

Intrigues my active mind. Thank goodness

I'm not a sheep like those who dominate

Linkedin with their platitudes day by day.

[chronicillnesshumor]

SATIRICAL NEWS

[haerinyan]

white people dni

[yosukebeee]

"World Leaders, World Laughs!" A satirical take on famous quotes from world leaders—bold, funny, and irresistibly meme-worthy!

Get your own here >>>