#sad student

[nanstf]

don't you just hate

don't you just hate when anxiety hits you the fist class

don't you just hate how nervous you get when introducing yourself to everyone because you think no one is gonna like you

don't you just hate how you feel when you're about to make a presentation in front of the whole class

don't you just hate when everyone is either talking or ignoring you while you're feeling very stressed and anxious when presenting

don't you just hate when the teacher asks you something just because "you don't seem to be paying attention"

don't you just hate the stress of working with groups made by the teachers

don't you just hate when you start over thinking when you see your "friends" hanging out without you

don't you just hate when, even if put up with all the shit school gives you, you just aren't enough?

don't you just hate when you feel like you don't deserve to be acknowledged because of you grades?

don't you just hate when you give all you have, you 100-fuking-percent and yet you're still not good enough?

I'm kinda tired of just hating it all

[sillystarventing]

so i (Ivon they/them) am back to this i guess, i will mostly reblog rather than like bc this is a side blog. i am a twenty two year old university student and have had a diagnosed e d for almost ten years. further, i also have an autism and adhd diagnosis so my posts are most likely influenced by this also lol.

161 cm

h w 65 k g / l w 40.2 k g / c w 49.2 k g / g w 45 k g / u g w 38 k g

dms are open

(pls note i am 22 (so 18+) before doing so)

[likeshestoleit]

gotta romanticize the med school struggle ✨

[tavina-writes]

still supremely disappointed that Jiang Cheng did NOT have a sexy torture dungeon. What a sad miserable time!

All the antis promised me he'd have a super sexy torture dungeon where he tortures poor innocent demonic cultivators to death, and I gotta say, this was a disappointing find to discover there was no torture dungeon.

Or dungeon at all.

[zimtlees]

ORELIUS PUPPINGAY JERMA

My little Orel

[psychogirly]

Girls when their middle aged professor doesnt like them back

[maream2636]

2024.25.6

It was a day full of psychological realizations, but exams hindered my full focus on them, but I am happy that I realized my weakness and dealt with it. I felt relief when I got it out of my system.

So what I did today :

1. Take a shower and eat a healthy meal! (I was suffering from breakfast and every time I ended up with cake and tea)

2.I liberated myself from an old belief, or will we say progress, because it is a very big point and connected to a lot (it was through a story that I read yesterday and I found myself very affected, and today I woke up upset and did not understand the reason until I realized that I saw a part of myself in that story..)

3.I have finished studying for the pharmaceutical accounts exam (after trouble)

4.I studied for my optional chemistry exam (need grades)

When I wrote, I realized that I was still being hard on myself. I mean, look at what I accomplished, and all day long I say, “Oh, I didn’t do anything.” Also, my brother asked me how I changed like this, and after a long conversation, he said to me, “I really respect you because you are always improving yourself" Sometimes I forget how far I have come.

[literatureaesthetic]

i find books centred around middle-class white women “struggling” to navigate life to be so difficult to get through

i'm one "sad white girl in la" novel away from a breakdown

[handweavers]

i've been so fucked up for months i haven't been able to go downtown to pick up my work from last spring from my school's textile studio and they always have a cutoff date like if you don't pick up your old work by x date they toss it and they're pretty strict about that unless you arrange with the studio tech beforehand, and the studio tech doesn't like most people she's pretty curt with most students. not rude but just keeps things professional and a bit distant, a very serious person. but i know she grew to like me over the past few years/warmed up to me a lot and we'd chat a lot about different textile things and she would say really kind things to me a lot which felt rare and special, and she let me have special treatment with some of the equipment because she trusted me to use it properly. and i haven't seen her in nearly a year and i expected her to have tossed my work out when i didn't come to pick it up last fall and emailed her to explain why and dropped off the face of the earth, i made my peace with losing that work and accepted it, it is what it is, i will survive, etc.

but she emailed me earlier this week and said she didn't have the heart to toss my work and has kept it safe in her office for me if i'm ever able to come pick it up and if not she's going to keep it as an example piece to show other students when teaching weaving because it's too lovely to get rid of and my heart swelled like 10 times its size bc she didn't have to do that and it meant so much to me that even a year from seeing her last she was still thinking about me and being kind to me. and i emailed her back and picked it up today and saw her and we chatted for a bit and it was so nice. I love her I miss my school's textile studio and weaving in there and talking craft with her... sigh

[themoodydoodles]

Oopsie forgot to post these

Uhhh I made these designs for a Inside Out Roommates/Human au, maybe I’ll post more about it

[unordinary-diary]

Seraphina and Arlo: The Brainwashing of High Tiers

Exposition:

— Remi, Episode 50.

There is a heavy implication that Seraphina and Arlo were raised in much the same way. The pressure on Seraphina comes from her parents, so I’ll extrapolate that the same goes for Arlo. This raises the question: how do the authorities create such a strong societal pressure on such a small percentage of the population? Most high tiers will probably not know any other high tiers besides their parents. Take Wellston Private High School for example: it’s the most prestigious private school around, and canonically has the “highest concentration of high tiers in the region”. There are six high tiers in Wellston. Apply this to god tiers specifically, and there are only three. Not to mention that this current group of students is uniquely strong, even for Wellston. In Rei’s senior year, he was the strongest at 5.8 max.

So much of this brainwashing relies on the parents to do all of the work, and it only takes one or two people to break the cycle. So how are the authorities creating this immense pressure? One tactic could be by isolating high tiers. There is a very widespread concept that one shouldn’t associate with those outside their level range. A caste system like this that affects everyone is much easier to create and maintain than an expectation for a small group, and it also means that high tiers are only being influenced by those who are also high level. This creates an echo chamber. I’ve researched cults and how they brainwash victims, and the first step in the process is isolating them in exactly this way.

But, if there are so few high tiers, how the hell are they supposed be isolated from other groups? The answer is that high tiers are just isolated in general. Take a look at Arlo: his only friend is Remi, and even her, he keeps at an arm’s length. Arlo is only close with Remi in the first place because he was close with Rei, who, at the time of meeting Arlo, was presumably close in level with him. [EDIT: I forgot about Holden, which I think says a lot about his relevance. He is kept at more than an arm’s length and doesn’t seem to have any actual influence on Arlo, let alone a deep relationship. He is also not presented as an equal.] Take a look at Seraphina: before meeting John, she didn’t seem to have any friends other than possibly Arlo. Seraphina and Arlo pre-John seemed to have had more of a professional relationship, and while they were not close in level, Arlo did fit the bill of being a fellow god tier, and strong enough to also be brainwashed.

Now let’s look at Remi. In episode 60, Cecile says to Remi: “And yet here you are... Always hanging around those two monkeys, Blyke and Isen. Letting them treat you as an equal even though you’re in a completely different league.” This struck me as odd because, aside from Cecile herself, the Wellston students closest in level to Remi were Arlo, Blyke, and Isen. And who is she friends with? She actually was doing a pretty good job at following that social convention, unless Cecile wanted to be friends with Remi, which she clearly didn’t. But... her friends were still not close enough to her level. Was she supposed to just not have friends at all? The answer seems to be a resounding yes. Can you think of any genuine friends that Cecile has either?

Friendship simply isn’t considered a necessity for high tiers.

But... why is it that Arlo and Seraphina were brainwashed differently? Creating a societal norm for an isolated group of people is one thing, because those people’s mindsets feed into each other. Putting pressure on individual families to keep them in line, but doing it all in different ways? That would be near impossible. My theory is that Seraphina recieved the typical high tier brainwashing, and that Arlo was raised differently because he was being groomed to work for the authorities. Seraphina didn’t have a set career path planned out for her, but if she’s trying to be “perfect” by the standards of those controlling her, she’s bound to end up going in a direction that pleases them. Arlo on the other hand was specifically planned to become an authority figure. That’s why his brainwashing is so centered on leadership. Also, growing up with direct contact to the authorities makes it more possible for them to customize his brainwashing in this way.

But does all of this apply to high tiers in general, or is it specific to god tiers? Let’s take a look at the high tiers in Wellston. We have Seraphina, John, Arlo, Terrence, Remi, Cecile, and Blyke. John is a unique circumstance because he wasn’t raised by high tiers, so we’ll cross him off the list. Terrence was also unique, so we can cross him off as well. Remi was different from the norm as well. Why is that? Well, Remi actually wasn’t raised by high tiers either. Rei said on screen that both of his parents were elites. We can cross Remi off. Blyke doesn’t fit the bill either, but that’s easy to explain. He was an elite for a large part of the story, and he shot up rather quickly. We don’t know much of his family, but he probably wasn’t expected to be a high tier at all, and was raised as an elite. (All of this also serves to emphasize how much of this brainwashing comes from a person’s parents.) That leaves only Seraphina, Arlo, and Cecile to look at.

Cecile does seem to have high tier brainwashing, but it’s not nearly as intense as with Seraphina and Arlo. She doesn’t seem “obsessive”, and she wasn’t one of the examples Remi mentioned in chapter 50. It’s clear that high tiers are brainwashed in general, but god tiers are kept on a much shorter leash. This makes sense, obviously, because keeping a population in control like that is less necessary the lower the level. However, it’s also a chicken an egg situation: god tiers are both more important to keep in control, and also easier to keep in control. It’s important to note just how many exceptions we had to cross off. People like Remi and Blyke aren’t actually that unusual— a lower leveled high tier is much more likely to have non-high tier parents, or to have not always been a high tier themselves, or just in general, to have way more day-to-day interaction with non-high tiers. The brainwashing gets more and more diffused the lower down the ladder you go.

[ineedadilf37]

he's gone and it has changed me forever

[angypanda]

rereading jjk and gojo asking megumi what he should do with yuji makes me think if he wanted to give megumi a choice cuz when he killed geto he didn't have one and was forced to do it

[catradoraism]

chu wanning: i am so ugly :( no one would ever want me :(

everyone in his vicinity: if i don’t fuck him right now im going to go insane and start killing people

[defiantwoman]

"Sometimes we think we want to disappear, but all we really want is to be found."