#i hate school👍
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ORELIUS PUPPINGAY JERMA
My little Orel
#don't ask about that cutiemark#moral orel#orel puppington#moral orel fanart#my art#art#adult orel puppington#moral orel art#adult orel#i lob ya jerma boy#i want him i need him#i hate school👍#cant stop thinking about it#Uhhh I feel like everyone would think his classes are so boring#But he would definitely be soooo excited explaining about religion#Probably sad that he doesn't always get the attention from his students
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More HNK doodles old and new 😨
Cairngorm is found in Scotland!
#Euclase and Jade the duo EVER#Hnk#i love phos so much#phos#phos hnk#houseki no kuni#gem people#land of the lustrous#moon phos#UGH i hate school 🤯#Ummmmmmmm cooked celery#i love phosphophyllite from hnk so much#pho's#moon phosphophyllite#cairngorm#SCCCOTLAAAND FFOOOOREEEEVVVVVAAAAAAAAA#I’m not Scottish btw#Yk who is? Skids the Transformer#I hereby declare cairngorm from HNK is also Scottish 👍#Jade hnk#Euclase hnk#ghost quartz hnk
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id: a digital, fullbody drawing of beltboy from lisa: the hopeful. he's shown from the side, hanging in the air with his legs positioned sort of like he's kneeling. he's holding a red electric guitar in his hands. he's looking to the right and sticking his tongue out with a grin. the background is black with a white explosion drawn behind beltboy. end id
#art#fanart#benny oberwinch#lisa the hopeful#lisa rpg#beltboy#super self indulgent 👍 sketched this when i was listening to danger days#<which was like. two weeks ago. high school hates me
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keep seeing schoool bus graveyard ads eveyrwhere. agh. debating if i sgould cave in and read it.... people who have is it good.......
#school bus graveyard#also if its mainly focused on romance i probably wont read it anyways.....#if it doesnt have that at all or its like minor i probably will cave in if its good#i mostly just like... avoid stuff MAINLY FOCUSED on romance bc i just... dont like it???#like im not a hater if u like it thats GREAT 👍👍👍 /gen#but i personally jsut.... dont#especially if it looks cool vut slaps on the “ACTUALLY IT WAS ABOUT LOVE THE WHOLE TIME” etc.#sorry for small rant or it looks like im hating on romance#its just not a personal preference of mine sorry
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buncha leon doodlez i did at school:)
#get so god damn bored i hate this school LOL but leon is my guy n he makez me happy he helps me thru it👍 somewhat#spooky month#leon manson#SORRY 4 not postin a lot shits hard rn lmaoo got loads of ideas tho so mayb if stuff gets easier ill get 2 it:)#scrawlz#ALSO SORRY 4 NEVER POSTING MY TEEN HAUNTED HOUSE GANG DESIGNS💔💔 ik i said id do it a While ago#but i just couldnt finish em:(( mayb ill post em as silly individual doodlez someday💔
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uni has literally turned me into a husk of myself
#i have been running but not enough to lose as much weight as i have#i hate how i feel here i dont feel healthy at all which makes me feel so gross and bad#ik all i do is complain about school but im literally losing who i am my body is so important to me#and to lose control over that (again 😁) is not a good feeling#i dont look like myself anymore#i stood on a scale yesterday as a joke and almost cried 👍
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Can someone please either validate me or send me to the Corner of Shame? This is very silly but I'm wondering.
So. I was talking to my sister the other day about movies and such, and she told me of one she recently watched with this one actor. And I casually mentioned how much I hated him. Not in a "he's a bad actor" or "he's a bad person" way. Nothing to do with whether I find him attractive or not. Just in a "he looks the most punchable guy on earth and I have this irrational rage against him" way, to the point that I just can't watch movies with him without being annoyed.
My sister looked at me like I was crazy because, "what do you mean you hate the guy". And I told her yeah? That's normal? Don't you have at least one person you can't stand for no reason?
Sister was like 😬😬😬 No??? Which is wild to me, because I could easily name 50 (which I did - not 50 but we were getting close to 20 before i got too annoyed lmao).
Now she thinks I'm slightly insane (/j) (I made myself angry and may have referred to a few individuals as "stupid" and "obnoxious"), and I kinda don't believe I am the only person alive who feels this way. But also she's an incredibly empathetic extrovert, while I'm a very low empath socially anxious creechur so. There's that?? I guess ?? Idk.
Can anyone relate to this? Or am I the weird one?
Also wait. Little disclaimer: I am not generally a violent person AT ALL. Do i get annoyed and angry easily? Yeah. Do I feel like bitch slapping someone right across their stupid face? Yeah, sometimes, sure. Do I do something about it? Not really.
I can be real bitchy and extra sarcastic and petty SURE, but that's the most I'll do if I am legitimately angry. Mostly I just go to my room and cry 🥺 (crying when angry yes it me). So yeah. Before yall think I have unsolved anger issues.
#if you're curious. the guy in question is Thimothée Chalamet#look. from what i've seen he's good at his job and he seems a genuinely nice guy#nothing against him at all like. you go timmy 🙂👍#i do however have an illogical boiling rage against him#i don't know what it is but i genuinely feel like punching his face everytime he pops up#maybe in another universe we were arch enemies. maybe i was his school bully. maybe HE was my school bully idk#obviously i would never do anything like that but if there's one person that looks like it could use a wedgie is him#and don't get me wrong. i DO feel about about it cus it's not like i'm choosing to be irrationally angry#and this goes for a bunch of other people#i just!!! 😡😡😡#seeing him (as in his vibe and general presence. nothing to do with physical appearance)#is the equivalent of trying to use cling film while it keeps sticking to itself#you know that one family guy scene with Peter and the cling wrap?? YEAH. THAT. genuinely so annoyed#i've always assumed this was a common thing. as in. there's always at least one person that gets on your nerves for absolutely no reason#but i guess maybe not???? *am* i a hater???#and btw this ONLY happens with either celebrities (in various degrees)#or people irl i've had some close proximity to <- and in this case it's always justified. i don't generally hate irl people out of nowhere#(okay there is ONE person in specific BUT i do feel slightly justified IMO. and in any case i always make sure to be as nice as possible)#(because poor girl didn't really do nothing wrong. i just have never vibed with her. i tried!! but yeah)#idk where i'm going with this lmao i might just ending up deleting it#whatever. don't worry guys you're all safe i love you very much and wouldn't slap any of you (unless asked you little freaks 👀)#darya talks to herself
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guys when the disability is disabling 👎
#sorry stupid vent post <3#im gonna be angry in the tags here for a second#im just. idk. sick of being aware of the fact that im getting worse.#i had a week off from work for moving and school purposes#and now that im back i am . oh boy 👍 not great#literally passed out this morning which . thats new. dont like that.#hopefully its just a . one off thing. i dont know. but. idk.#something something capitalism something something ableism something something im tired of this grandpa#i am tired of being in pain <3 im tired of feeling like im falling behind constantly and like im letting everyone down#by just not being able to do the things i feel i should be able to do.#and like. also currently looking at wfh jobs bc i do not think my body can handle school and work and having to stand and walk and stairs#that much . every single day.#and i feel bad about that too bc i transfered to this store ! i put in work to be here at this store and my fucking body is giving out !!#its not even bad. its a much quieter store than the one i came from. everyone ive talked to is nice. the manager is understanding#and i hate that i feel like im just. deteriorating. and failing at everything <3#but like whatever . its whatever. i know its just the. internalized shit of 'yeah but im not bad enough to warrant this'#like ! fuck !#idk. things to bring up in therapy i guess <3#ok goop night sorry for this. i wont be deleting bc fuck me if i ever delete a post. cringe is dead or wtvr
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eu juro que sou mais legal quando estou sozinha
#cool#life#life is hard#idk#brasil#brazil#escola#school#personality#scary#sozinho#sozinha#lonelly#alone#medo#conversa#conversas#talk#i hate this#👍#i promise
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i very easily imagine a modern day volo majoring in marketing
#wed be in the same business class and hed be like lol discount just for u! 😁👍#and id be like shut up man ... its a school powerpoint#(i hate business school save me)#ignore me
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sighs. capitalism won. anybody got any ins with wfh jobs ahaha
#the school i hate that sucked to work for successfully screwed me out of unemployment after a 9 month fight 👍#savings dwindling down paying my loans ahahaha things continue to go well for connor nation (lying)
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Let’s be honest here, if James and Sirius were girls (into eachother or not) they would be known as the “lesbians” around school.
As someone who went through highschool as a girl having a very close friendship with a girl (and let’s face it, yes I was desperately in love with her and no it didn’t end well, but that’s bedside the point because these rumours went around before I fell for her) we were Always asked if we were dating and when we denied it people didn’t believe us. And if people didn’t think we were dating they thought we wanted to date, and yeah it was primarily guys thinking that which I’m not even gonna get into because that’s a whole sexist fucking gross thing there, but still!
You can’t tell me, if you’re like gen z or in a generation where queerness is known through your highschool and like not the worse thing in the world, that you didn’t have a set of girl best friends that everyone thought were in a queer relationship.
I happened to be in like, almost all the “lesbian” rumoured relationships at my school because, after the first one, I shaved my head and became the school dyke and then any close female friend I had meant I had to be in love with them and if they seemed smiley around me back it was assumed we were dating.
But like, James and Sirius were That Close, and if they were girls, they Would be The Lesbians. If they were just best friends, everyone would assume they were lesbians. If they were secretly in love with eachother and never said anything until it was too late, everyone would assume they were lesbians. If they were dating and just didn’t tell anyone, everyone would assume they were lesbians. If they were dating and did come out and tell people, no one would be surprised.
I think there’s something special about that. And I know from personal experience being known as the lesbian couple of the school even when you’re not isn’t the greatest, but like as someone who’s experienced that and also experienced it in a more positive way (where people were just supportive and wanted us to date because they genuinely thought we’d be good together and we liked eachother) it’s just something that’s bound to happen.
Apparently you can’t have two girls that close to eachother that aren’t your typical “straight laced “normal” girls” and have them not be cast as the school lesbians.
James was a quidditch captain nerdy smartarse, and Sirius is an alternative black sheep with severe mummy issues. They’re gonna be the lesbians.
And I adore that.
#someone write me a fic about it#and make them kiss and be in love#ALSO no hate to ‘normal’ girls obviously. it’s just there were a lot of girls in my highschool with close female relationships similar to my#own and they were never cast as lesbians because they fit into the typical norm of girl that guys liked. you know they were very feminine#and would hem their dresses to be shorter and shave their legs and what not. I’m talking in the earlier years of highschool too. and they’d#just be very typically feminine and often be involved in boy drama and blah blah blah. where as me and my friends cast in this category were#often seen as weird. or at least I was. we weren’t seen as pretty in the way they were and often had hairy legs still or came to school#without makeup. we were kinda nerdy or had strange humour and less of a fashion sense.#mostly we were just a little bit different. especially me. and so yeah we got casted as the lesbians. especially me because I was typically#undesirable to those mysoginistic sexist teenage boys 👍👍👍#wow I did not mean for this to turn into a little rant#it was just a midnight thought that kinda made me laugh that I could relate too. wow. go to sleep jay#jay talks#prongsfoot#James potter#sirius black#James x sirius#marauders#sapphic prongsfoot#lesbian prongsfoot#lesbian James#lesbian sirius
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i'm going to a queer school event tomorrow but i'm literally feeling so paranoid about it. what if my mom checks life360 while i'm there, then looks up which event is at that location, and puts the very obvious two and two together. if i put on airplane mode to freeze my location, what if she texts me and freaks out when i don't respond for a good few hours. what if a family friend somehow spots me there and passes the information along. i really wanna go and connect with other queer people here but holy SHIT the thought i could inadvertently out myself simply by taking my phone along is terrifying.
#friday chats#friday vs post-secondary school#see like the school was very nice to put all their events on one webpage for everyone to browse#but alas everyone means Everyone and not just students#why can't it just be like. bye mom and dad see you in a couple weeks when you come up for a football game#and then no contact until then#(i know it's bc they care about me. but Actually what they care about is the idea of me they have in their heads#and if they knew i'm queer they would be Oh So Disappointed In Me. spin their homophobia and betrayal into ''''concern'''' yknow)#i guess if i froze my location i could say i was sleeping in#but if anyone calls me at any point on airplane mode doesn't the phone go straight to voicemail??#suppose i could say my phone was shut off#but like. something something panopticon surveillance something. i feel like i have to look over my shoulder constantly#for the people i'm supposed to feel safest with#and it's fucked up! it's fucked up and i hate it#(also i mention her looking up the event bc she has used that website to show me things there is to do. i Know she knows it exists#and that she's looked at it. and she's obviously invested in whether her baby girl is alright or not.#first kid to go off to college problems 👍)#the last example is the most unlikely though. a friend of MY parents?? at a QUEER event??? unheard of.#but idk i'm still scared#so that's. fun.#fuck wait actually i don't know how to get there without gps#i'll look up the route beforehand and try to remember it. shit man.
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recently ive been getting really sick of my neighbors i wish that i had a bunch of money so that i could buy up their houses and only let people i live live near me
#neighbors 1 used to be friends but theyre trumpies and also neglect and borderline abuse their dog#i like river hes not a bad dog but hes not trained well and is a very large and powerful dog and really really wants to kill my cats#and they just let him loose wander in the road wander into other peoples yards and hes trapped me and my mom outside because#he tries to force his way into our house if we try to go back inside of our house and i kinda dont want my cats guts splattered everywhere#neighbors 2 have a fenced in yard with a lab and a husky that they leave outside all of the time in their yard#as far as i know they dont have a dog house or even food and water out there and absolutely no toys and the dogs bark constntly#probably because theyre so bored outside in the hot weather usually without shade and no entertainment they bark at each other#or anyone in the yards of the neighboring houses or they bark at the door begging to be let back inside or bark at the windows#and theyre patriots too they got one of those huge skeletons last halloween and theyve kept it up ever since changing out the spotlight#for holidays which initially i really liked i thought it was funny but then for memorialday/july 4th they dressed in patriotically#and i hate america so . i hate them and how they neglect their dogs#neighbors 3 they are related to the one good neighbor BUT. theyre married (?) and they scream at each other arguing all of the time and#because of the geography of where we live it echos right to our house very loudly and it gives me anxiety and they have a kid or kids#who sometimes cry loudly because they scream yell at each other loudly i kinda hope they (not the kids) go to hell#neighbors 4 i . im not sure if theyre newer here but they also have dogs but so far theyve kept them on leashes i think?#except for that one time where their dog just. walked up to me. idk if they let the dog loose on purpose or if it was accidental#but recently me and my mom were outside messing with the garden and They are also a couple and were screaming at each other#also ! i love straight people 😍 please breakup or get a divorce or move away or go to hell youre fucking crazy people go to therapy#and then theres the people on super loud motorcycles or in super loud cars and then theres the other neighbors with the isra hell flag#and the other neighbors that i SUPER SUPER SUPER HATE and have hated for YEARS ecause i went to school with one and hes#racist as fuck i hope he dies or something. and because of them we dont even go down the road that way#they have free roaming animals that would go into the road and they run some ? atv repair or something out of their house and sometimes#completely occupy the whole road loading shit or something. like if you want stereotypical redneck assholes its them#and i hate all of these people so much. mutuals you should live here instead of them. its the blue ridge mountains its higher altitude#its pretty but sometimes it rains and causes something of a 'creek' to flow but were on a mountain so it flows down and away#and well sometimes the sewer smells really bad for some reason idk but like . its fine dont worry about it#and bears might drag your trashcans up the mountain but just dont leave food outside and they wont do that#we have a . shockingly beautiful ?? dumpster on the road too so its okay 👍#dear lird i just scrolled up and thats a lot of words . o well
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i haven't been this social & talkative in Years someone drag me out back
#rambling to myself in the tags just go ahead n pass by 🫡#u've been warned#i can feel the burnout(?) creeping up on me & its been. two days.#at least my friend is reassured i'm still in their life every few months 👍#even if i end up hating being dragged out places i know a little relief feels like a lot to other ppl#but i also just. hate being involved at all. esp if its pity but also when they genuinely want to talk with me. which sucks!#i hate thinking like that. however it just feels like the most logical path sometimes yk? after (gestures vaguely) everything?#i'm childishly obsessed with the aspect of destruction. me or them carrying it out it doesn't matter#any sort of socializing feels like grinding stone together whether or not their intentions seem as pure as possible#it feels like my socializing button is broken and my battery is locked at 2% 24/7#its not that i actively try to keep myself locked in self serving cycles to stay pitiful lord knows i hate being pathetic#i despise being miserable. it may not be Everything i know. it may be comfortable or familiar or whatever edgy shit#but it takes so much energy to have any emotion. i feel like i wrung myself dry in elementary school#ultimately i know i'm capable of Having Emotions. they're just all buried beneath 78 layers of static that don't seem to be there for other#i try to be social. even when i know Deep down i like them i end up hating every interaction. no matter how smooth or funny or whatever#i seem to have this blanket that makes everything heavier on me. i don't like being weighed down but sometimes i have to comply else#i know i'll just fucking crash out for the next however many years & end up being more hurt than i began with#<- metaphor doesn't make sense bc i ditched it half way thru but you get the point#be social to the complete detriment to my health & appease others or hurt other ppl (something i don't like doing bc i know how it feels) &#end up ''''saving'''' myself (trapping myself further. lose/lose). i wish i was completely exempt to people paying attention to me#i Hate wallowing in this fucking pity. this whole woe is me evvybody huwt me so now i feel nudding :( schtick makes me feel so weak#i like feeling strong by socializing. sometimes i get this litttlee inkling of maybe i should try & put myself out there More but it always#comes with the same results. one of these days surely it'll change (<- bearer of the curse) (<- but still has hope despite denying it)#yes i'm in therapy yes i'm working on my social capacity slowly instead of getting my boundaries ran over at top notch speed by my abusers#sometimes i need to say the self pitying shit out loud to knock me to my senses & be like 'if a friend said this i'd criticize them'#'if anybody else thought that you'd cringe so hard and be filled with That Specific Misery you feel & hate so much' ohhh right. my bad
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its really wild to me that i can be known as just a chill guy. or like soneone who can be generally nice and funny. its not because i have some secret dark interior its just because it felt so out of reach in my recent memory yk
#if i went back in time and told me from like. even 2 or 3 years ago that i would show up to work and make people laugh#or talk to my tumblr followers regularly or make small talk with the cashier when i buy tea#i know his ass would be like 🤨🤨#i was being told woahh yr so scary youd probably kill me if i did xyz. on a regular basis. (not out of nowhere i did fight a little lmao)#and thats nice for a little while its great to feel strong#but in the long term people dont want someone strong to fight for them they need someone to help them move the furniture#and whats wild is theres some freedoms that have been granted to me that id attribute the majority of this change to#like it was not me! i did not self improve i just got to high school and improvements happened#and now my baseline feeling is not that of Oh fuck im a weird freak and they hate me already unless im scary or useful#like bro. getting to wear headphones at school was genuinely life changing to me and i think is such a great case study#on why people need help if they ever want to improve#i can wear headphones at school -> i am no longer constantly in trouble for wearing headphones because theres no rule ->#im less overstimulated and calmer and happier -> im nicer to other people especially the authority figures that i#would have formerly expected to punish me for wearing my headphones#anyway. thanks guys i guess 👍
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