#and this goes for a bunch of other people

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

Ok this article was an extremely vindicating read for me, WOW. Thanks for sharing!

More points I liked:

Gen AI is peaking or has peaked. It's chewed through all its training data; it's limited by the power grid; and it's demanding money for which it hasn't produced a notable ROI in 18 months. It can't keep growing. Its runway for "getting better" is very limited.

Gen AI can do some things quickly and efficiently, but it costs a lot, and critically, it still needs someone to direct it. It can do tasks quickly, but if it needs someone to start it on the task, direct it, and check its work, and if it costs more than just paying that person to do the whole job, what's the point of it?

LLMs can't lead to "general intelligence" (the kind of intelligence a person has). They're probabilistically selecting answers, not truly understanding or internalizing information, speaking from experience, considering the bigger picture, and all the other things that make human intelligence what it is. We're not just probability machines; our learning and decision making are much more complex than that.

The guys who are making the tools don't understand the job to be done. They're saying that AI can replace jobs without understanding what goes into the jobs they claim to be replacing. Your labor is so much more valuable than they can understand.

I truly, genuinely, deeply hope he's right about this stuff and that the AI economy is forced to cool in the near near future. I'm generally not a "wishing ill on others" person, but these companies and their shills are betting the power grid, the whole economy, a bunch of people's jobs, and a ton of other stuff in a game where all they want is to be the one holding the cash at the end of it, at everyone else's expense. It's shameful.

ed zitron, a tech beat reporter, wrote an article about a recent paper that came out from goldman-sachs calling AI, in nicer terms, a grift. it is a really interesting article; hearing criticism from people who are not ignorant of the tech and have no reason to mince words is refreshing. it also brings up points and asks the right questions:

if AI is going to be a trillion dollar investment, what trillion dollar problem is it solving?

what does it mean when people say that AI will "get better"? what does that look like and how would it even be achieved? the article makes a point to debunk talking points about how all tech is misunderstood at first by pointing out that the tech it gets compared to the most, the internet and smartphones, were both created over the course of decades with roadmaps and clear goals. AI does not have this.

the american power grid straight up cannot handle the load required to run AI because it has not been meaningfully developed in decades. how are they going to overcome this hurdle (they aren't)?

people who are losing their jobs to this tech aren't being "replaced". they're just getting a taste of how little their managers care about their craft and how little they think of their consumer base. ai is not capable of replacing humans and there's no indication they ever will because...

all of these models use the same training data so now they're all giving the same wrong answers in the same voice. without massive and i mean EXPONENTIALLY MASSIVE troves of data to work with, they are pretty much as a standstill for any innovation they're imagining in their heads

[moesthoughts]

my aching bones | action shots ( photo 02 )

chapter summary : It’s been a couple months since you’ve started photographing the yellow jackets, ever since Nat spoke to you that one afternoon at your car you’ve been closer than ever. The other girls on the team noticed and started to warm up to you. Finally, after four long games you’ve had to sit through and take pictures of, the fifth and last game would decide if the yellow jackets went to nationals or not.

warnings : description of allie’s injury, drug use, mental health topics, burning yourself

These past months have been long, your days at school have been more than 7 hours, and you’re barely at home anymore. You didn’t expect to take a liking to photographing for the yellowjackets this much, especially after that rocky start. Since that smoke break at your car, Nat and you have grown closer. Classes you share with her are suddenly more bearable, ignoring work and talking instead, and shared laughter. You realize how close your lockers really are, which makes mornings easier to face. She visits you on the sidelines during her breaks, meaning you didn’t need to talk to the coaches that much, and on occasions, the Martinez kids. You recognize how much fun life gets when you actually have someone to talk to everyday, instead of being alone all the time.

Instead of dreading school, your stomach bunches up from anxiety. You’re calm, with a smile plastered on your face. The thought of being able to speak with Nat clouds your head. You clutch the steering wheel with anticipation, not being able to wait to see her gorgeous face. You find yourself driving her home or to your house. You’ve made custom CDs, had sleepovers when she didn’t want to be at her house, smoked, painted each other's nails, and you can’t remember a day when your nails aren’t scuffed with black nail polish. Your parents are happy too, their daughter is finally making friends. It’s not just Nat you’ve been growing a liking for, it’s the Yellowjackets as a whole. You and Taissa have the same political opinions, you finally have someone who can help you in Calc. Van will talk with you about all of your niche interests you happen to share, and conversations will go on for hours. Jackie gives excellent advice on whatever problem you have, even if you struggle with opening up to her. Shauna is great to be around when you want quiet, but she also has amazing music taste. Lottie loves art as much as you do; she even asks about how you got into photography. The list goes on and on, you’re surprised that so many people have started talking to you, even with your lack of social skills.

No matter how much time this gig took out of your daily life, you’re finally happy. You get to do something you enjoy, and you’re surrounded by great people. You’re glad you didn’t punk out on your first day, no matter how badly it went. You like that you smile more instead of constantly frowning, you like how you feel warm inside and not cold, and you like how you have company everyday instead of having to keep yourself entertained.

You’re currently preparing for the game the girls had at 4, the one that determined if they’d go to nationals this year. You know how important this meant to everyone, so you’re making sure your lens is as clean as it can be, checking if you have film for days, and writing a small card for the team to give them if they win. Nat is on your bed, sorting through the photos you’ve taken so far at their other games. Her lips curl into a smile, noticing how much you’ve taken of her. Her fingers smooth over the laminated pictures; she’s never felt so truly appreciated until this very moment. Her eyes trail the back of you, fidgeting with your camera. She puts the photos back into your box you keep beside your bed, and sits up when you finally turn around, a soft smile adorning your features. You bite your lip as your eyes land on the photo box beside Nat, a tint of red coming to your cheeks.

“So.. can I use any of these for my senior photos?”

She snorts as you hurriedly take the box and shove it back into your nightstand. At least the pictures aren’t only of her and the other girls. You lean against your dresser with a sigh, crossing your arms. You think about how you can avoid this conversation, your face lights up once you see your makeup beside you. Running away from your problems, a perfect solution to whatever is going on. You quickly pick up the box full of products and your curling iron before retreating to the bathroom, you hear Nat trailing not to far behind you, trying to keep up.

“Woah, since when are you interested in getting all pretty?”

You flip her off as you plug in your curling iron, setting it aside so it can heat up. She’s right, you haven’t used any of your makeup since sophomore homecoming, why not bust out the old look for this important event? You pick through your makeup and started working on your face, you aren’t the best with it, but you’re going for a simple look. A smokey eye, a dark pink lip, with some mascara. Nothing else was needed.

“Since now? It’s such an important day, I don’t want people staring at an ugly photographer.”

Nat scoffs and moves closer to you, leaning on the wall next to the sink. You feel nervous under her gaze, like she’s picking everything out from the deepest pits of your soul. You will never admit you absolutely love this feeling, She watches how sharp you make your wings, the neutrals you use for your eyeshadow, and she especially pays attention to the lipstick you apply to your lips. She averts her attention and rests her head on the wall.

“You’re so far from ugly, dude.”

Nat speaks over the silence once you finish your makeup look, you give her a shy smile. It was a good feeling, how such a pretty girl thinks you look good. You look at yourself hard in the mirror, maybe you aren’t as bad looking as you think, you comb your fingers through your hair, and pick up the curling iron radiating heat. You wrap your hair around the tool, your eyes still glued to your face in the mirror. You’re so distracted that you don’t notice you press the hot iron right into the side of your neck, you yell out a swear before dropping the curling iron into the sink, and your hand goes towards the burn on the side of your neck. The girl next to you acts instantly, quickly unplugging the tool from the wall, then crouching at your side. She pulls your arm away from the wound, sucking a breath through her teeth once she gets a good look at it.

“Fuck, it looks like someone gave you a fat hickey.”

Nat manages to get up, lifting you to look at it in the mirror. Your eyes widen once you land on the new mark; it does look like someone gave you a hickey. You glance at Nat, anxiety filling your veins as you see her nervous look. She’s messing with her rings, thinking about ways to cover your burn mark. You don’t have foundation, and it’s too warm to wear scarves. Her mind flickers to her black leather jacket, she wasn’t gonna need it today because she was on the field anyway.

“Do you have any ideas…”

“Yeah, get to your car, i’ll be there in a second.”

Your shoes dig into the turf underneath you, you have a striped t shirt on, ripped jeans and did you forget to mention Nat’s black leather jacket? The mark on your neck isn’t even a hickey, you aren’t sure why you are covering it up like it was. Though, here you are, anxiously lifting up the collar of her jacket to hide something you shouldn’t be ashamed of. You try distracting yourself by watching the different teams stretch, their coaches making them huddle up for inspiration for the game. You softly smile as you watch them listen, you slowly lift up your camera and take a picture, just like you did their first practice.

“Isn’t this nerve wracking?”

Your head turns towards Misty Quigley as she speaks up, breaking the silence between you both. You tend not to talk with her, since conversations between you both always turn out weird. People aren’t wrong when they talk about how odd of a girl she is, you truly don’t mind her. She’s like everyone else, trying to get by, just in her own little way. You respond with a shrug, your attention going towards your bleach blonde friend. It is nerve wracking, and you aren’t even on the team. You’re not worried about getting good shots, you already got that in the bag, but you hope they win. The Yellowjackets truly deserve it, such a talented team full of nice girls.

“Yeah, nerve wracking.”

You tune out her rambling that was soon cut off with a whistle, you watch the two groups huddle closer together and start their chants, Misty happily chips in, practically screaming “buzz” at the top of her lungs. You cheer and clap your hands once the game starts, quickly getting to work on your action shots. Your bones ached with anticipation. Not once have you cared about a sport this much, nonetheless soccer. You thought it was boring, every time your dad put on the game you left the living room out of pure boredom. Though here you are, excited to photograph and watch the score board change. You wonder what you’d be doing currently if you hadn’t signed that contract, probably rotting in your room, trying to decipher chemistry problems.

Your palms grew sweaty as the game got more intense, you shuffle between your feet as you watch the other team play more aggressive. Taissa seems to notice straight away and match their energy, messing up their plan. Your camera follows the ball being passed between the yellowjackets before Shauna catches it with her feet, kicking it up in the air towards Jackie. The blonde reacts fast, trying to position herself to kick it towards the goal. You gasp as it hits her head, but bounces towards the goal, scoring the final point. Your heart rate speeds up with excitement, but you only have time to take multiple pictures of them celebrating, running to hug each other, yelling about how they’re gonna make it to nationals.

“GET OVER HERE!”

You hear Van calling your name, jumping up and down and waving you over. You bolt, running into her arms. You feel like crying as you travel to each of the girls, embracing them with a tight hug. You end with Nat, her fingers running through your hair, yelling buzz into your ear as she jumps around with her teammates. You have never felt more proud in your life.

“Are you saying we should freeze her out?”

Nat’s tone is as sharp like thorns, her eyebrows knitting together with anger. You finally listen to the conversation happening around you after tuning everyone out to look at the photos you took yesterday, the air around the group is tense. Lottie seems nervous, her hand is massaging the back of her neck and she’s biting down on her lip. Shauna seems more confused than you, and Taissa is glaring at Nat, seeming so sure of what she’s talking about. You look at the bleach blonde next to you, trying to dive into her thoughts. She was obviously angry, her fist grips her bag on the ground, and her lips are folded into a frown.

“Well, do you have a better idea?”

Taissa has a sly way of speaking, making even you furrow your eyebrows at her in question. You’re not sure what “freezing out” meant, but if Nat was freaking out about it, it’s obviously something bad. Shauna gives you a look, you both are stuck in the same situation, spectating an argument about to unfold between the team’s most fiery members. You take a deep breath and direct your attention back to the situation at hand, not knowing if you should butt in or not.

“I don’t know, play like a fucking team?”

Nat spits out her words, her eyes filled with rage. She glances around the group, hoping that someone—anyone—wl speak up. But no one does, not even you. She didn’t expect you to say anything anyway; you had no idea what they were discussing. With a scoff, she turns around and storms off angrily toward the locker room. You watch her go, and she vanishes from your sight shortly after. Your gaze then lands on Taissa, who is staring directly at the burn mark on your neck. Quickly, you cover it with your hand and begin picking up your bag as well.

“Is that?—“

“Nope! I’ll see you guys at practice!”

You interrupt, before running in the direction Nat went, trying to catch up with her. You curse under your breath, why is a burn mark on your neck such a burden?

After listening to Nat rant for half an hour before practice, you’re stranded on the sidelines yet again watching the girls train for nationals. You note the clear energy chance, Taissa obviously has something up her sleeve, and the others that were listening earlier are all on edge, you bite your lip and watch in anticipation, your camera ready in your hands. Once the mock game starts, it’s aggressive. Girls almost tripping over themselves, you can see a future filled with green grass stains. Taissa is already freezing out that poor girl Allie, ignoring her when she was obviously open to pass to. You put your camera down as Coach Scott blows his whistle, Taissa pulls off her green marker and goes over to the older man, asking to switch teams.

Lottie stares at her anxiously as she pulls the red marker over her head, jogging over to the other side of the field. you decide to keep your camera by your side for this, you have an overwhelming feeling that something is going to go wrong, but you can’t place your finger on what. The game commences again, Taissa is hostile with her tactics, running towards Allie who currently is dribbling the ball between her feet. Suddenly, she runs into her, causing her to trip over the ball. You gasp as Allie screams in pain, holding her leg and rolling over onto her back. Misty and you quickly run over to see what the damage is, you almost throw up once your eyes land on her wound. Her bone tore through her skin, and blood is dribbling down her leg. Your hand covers your mouth as you stand up, slowly backing away from the scene.

“Okay, calm down. Just apply pressure—“

Allie shrieks in pain, causing Misty to scramble away from the younger girl as the coach yells at her. You nearly trip over yourself, the disturbing sight in front of you clouding your mind. Nat turns her gaze from Allie and meets your eyes, slowly moving towards the direction of the locker room. She pats Allie on the shoulder before jogging over to you, throwing her arm over your shoulders. Noticing how nauseous you are, she suddenly starts dragging you toward the school.

“Allie will be okay, let’s get you to the bathroom.”

She reassures you, slight relief floods your veins. You can’t help but feel horrible, you know something was going to happen. If only you were smart enough to stop it.

synopsis ʚɞ your parents want you out of the house more, do something other than rot in your room while doing homework. You decide to use your photography talent for the school paper, taking pictures of the yellow jackets girl’s soccer team. Throughout your photoshoots of their various games, one girl piques your interest the most. Natalie Scatorccio.

a/n : ending is SOO RUSHED IM SORRY it’s currently 11 pm and I wanted this out by monday (by the time you’ll be reading this) I HOPE YOU’RE ENJOYING THE SLOW BURN UGHHH

a/n : tag list is STILL OPEN!! lmk if you want on! don’t be scared to ask!

tag list — @mlovesunicorns @t-wylia @bisexual-stalin @theoreticalfreak @flurpe @girlie955 @firefl1ghts @lilliesandrosiess @princessleprechaunnn @wtfisthisnoclueman @joaniscruzing @sleepyjackets @stupendousbananasharkcop

[freezingcoldsystemtakes]

i won the syscourse brackets. in honour of that, here is the one and only real syscourse take you will ever see on this blog:

syscourse is pointless and brings a net negative to the system/plural community.

the results of this bracket highlight this all too well. you all voted for me, a gimmick blog who doesnt post real syscourse, over dozens of other blogs who do post long, formatted, nuanced takes everyday. why?

because some part of you all knows this is fucking stupid. this roundabout arguing over the same handful of topics, the same formula of bait blogs crashing in and new micro stances developing to pretend like you have new topics. every few weeks a bunch of people leave the tag, and a few more unfortunate people join it. a small number of people have stayed in the tag for years, regurgitating the same old arguments and same old talking points ad nauseum because they cant escape the toxic nature of syscourse despite knowing it harms them and ultimately leads nowhere.

youre all sick of this. and thats not me extrapolating- i watch the tag. nearly every major syscourser whos stuck around has stated they are sick of this and know that 90% of it is pointless and detrimental to their mental state. so i beg the question, why are you all still doing this? a sense of loyalty? a lack of other things to spend your attention on? emotional self harm?

i think its high time we all acknowledge that syscourse never had a point, nor an end goal. its all fabricated discourse founded on intentional misinterpretations of the opposing sides, and catalysted by the high strung emotions of the predominantly underage user base within the tag. you guys arent even pretending you enjoy it anymore. so leave it behind. let the tag die. the system/plural community will reap a great benefit from this utterly useless circular arguing no longer making its verbally violent rounds every few days.

as someone who escaped syscourse and whos sole involvement now is through this gimmick blog i barely touch except to add asks to the queue, i can say from experience: there are better things to do. far more fulfilling connections to be made. and the fomo goes away after like, a week. so let syscourse go.

[erwinsvow]

i 100% saw a post from someone weeks ago about pope in a romeo and juliet type situation and i started thinking thoughts about it while studying so whoever that was or if anyone's seen it please tell me so i can credit it properly. but if you had a bunch of brothers and cousins maybe not in oceanside but in san diego or chula vista or something (IDK!) and it seems that somehow they're always competing for the same jobs as the codys. like they hear about a job that got pulled and of course your brothers had been planning something just like that and now they can't do anything because it'll arouse suspicion and there's a lot of tension. maybe one of your brothers is friends with deran or craig or something and so they're around even though your families don't like each other. used to be that when you were younger things were better and you've even been to their house during one of their big parties, celebrating something you don't really know anything about it. your family is invited because smurf wants to rub it in or something but things weren't that bad yet so you went and maybe that's when you first met andrew?? sitting quietly inside with him, people watching and then maybe you start talking about how you don't like parties but your brothers do and the conversation kinda goes on from there because he agrees with you. and though you don't know much about him besides that he's the quiet, weird one—words from your brother's mouth, ones that you really find yourself disagreeing with the more you talk to him on the couch—you guys get along just fine. he doesn't drink and neither do you, though he gets you a soda and you smile at him and tell him thank you very politely and he kind of never forgets about it. you two run into each other occasionally, and though you've never been brave enough to ask him if he wants to go on a date or a walk or whatever, there's something there, you think. fast forward a few years and you knew andrew went off to prison and your brothers had laughed about it but you had excused yourself to go cry in your room about it even though you didn't know him that well. maybe you wrote him a couple of letters because you felt bad. and of course all of this has to be done without anyone's knowledge because your brothers—even the one that's friends with deran—would kill you if they found out you were writing letters and harboring feelings for a cody brother. (especially the one they call the quiet, weird one, though they know what he's capable of and he's also the one they're the most scared of. not that you know much about any of that.) well i just think he'd get released and you don't have a ton of freedom but have enough to sneak away for a few hours after one of their ragers. but you'd get a text from a burner number asking you to come see him and you don't need to work that hard to figure out who it is. you spend a couple days elated that he even remembers you (as if he didn't read the letters you sent him a million times over three years.) and you go meet andrew and finally get that cup of coffee you should have gotten a few years ago. and the two of you do the dance, sneaking around and being worried about getting caught (andrew thinks you are very sweet for worrying about him if anyone finds out, because he knows you should be worried for your brothers, if anything.) and then i am thinking of the hell that breaks loose when everyone finds out

[dinodivider]

One thing I love about Stormlight Archive (and the cosmere in general, really) is how flawed all of my favorite characters are. I'm not gonna pick on Kaladin here because I feel like it's the most obvious and low-hanging fruit but let it be known that that's my babygirl. So moving on, I just love how every character that I love has moments where I strongly disagree with them. It's really easy to fall into the trap of reading from a character's perspective and seeing them do cool shit that saves the day and therefore seeing things from their perspective and forgetting they can be wrong. But the characters argue with each other. They disagree with each other often in ways that remind me that they're human and fallible and can make mistakes and them trying to be the best versions of themselves does not preclude them from making mistakes or doing wrong.

I love Jasnah. I love how cold and calculating she can be. It's fucking awesome to me that she understands both large groups of people and individuals so thoroughly that she can plan and outmaneuver people. I just read the RoW chapter where she and Wit bait Ruthar into a duel and she stabs him. There's a lot going on in that scene emotionally and it's fucking awesome. It's amazing how everything she does is seemingly a carefully calculated move to get the outcome she desires and she doesn't let other people push her around. She knows she's right and that's that. All of those things are also massive flaws that she has! She doesn't often listen to those close to her. She has terribly awkward (at best) relationships with the people that she loves most. Everyone on the planet thinks she is an emotionless machine that respects no one but herself.

I love Shallan. She has a bunch of aspects of personality that make her really interesting and she's good at some very specific but very unique things right from the beginning of book 1. Her developing her other personas is such an interesting thing to experience as the story goes along and it's awesome to see how human she gets to be. She gets a lot of shit done. The story would not be the same without her and the war would have quite possibly been lost before it ever began if she weren't present. The story also does not shy away from the fact that her personas, arguably one of her biggest strengths, is also a weakness. It can be both. Shallan has an intense weakness that prevents her from being fully happy with her life and trusting the people that love her. Even Veil and Radiant acknowledge this and actively attempt to get her to remember her past and accept those memories so that she can heal. She does so much cool shit and she always makes so many awful choices.

I love Dalinar. He is such a loveable old man from the beginning of the first fuckin book. He's fucking awesome. You see him trying to be a good man and trying to get others to be as good as he wants to be. He catches a chasmfiend's claw and acts as an unstoppable force on the battlefield. He's got the cool factor and he's (trying to be) pretty morally good. And he does a pretty good job, I think. But you also see that the only way he really knows to accomplish anything is by brute force. Sure, he gets better about it, but even then he finds it so upsetting whenever anyone disagrees with him. He wants to be everyone parent who is obeyed without question. Once Jasnah is queen, almost every conversation between those two is an argument. And despite Jasnah's stubbornness and refusal to hear him out, she's often right and he's just as stubborn. He just doesn't see it that way. Dalinar has awesome ambitions for how the world can be and there is a lot of good to see in him, but he is also the Blackthorn and that reputation is a part of who he is, for better or worse. I love him, but his son has a valid point when he ruminates on the negative aspects of their relationship.

I love Adolin. He's pretty enjoyable from the start but I think he doesn't really fully step into his role as his own loveable character until the jail scene in book 2. Adolin is awesome. He's the best duelist we've seen to date. He's shown to have good morals like his father, like when he protects that woman in Sadeas' camp book 1. He's trying so hard to be a good man while also not being his father. We see him argue with Dalinar a lot in the early days and Dalinar makes good points but Adolin does too. He is such a good friend to Kal and he tries so hard to support Shallan in their relationship. But he's also a huge fuckboy for a while before Shallan. He wants to not be his dad so badly that it's arguably a driving force for him; so much so that it can lead to him making bad decisions just so he's not doing what Dalinar would do.

I just really love all of these characters and I enjoy how they get to be people. It's awesome and really enhances the series for me to see them being great but also arguing with each other and making mistakes and stupid decisions. I love seeing them succeed and I also love seeing them fail. My little dolls that I'm playing with in my mind.

[alexanderwales]

are you like, perfectly sure you're neurotypical

Depends on how you define terms. I struggle with anxiety and depression, but have only ever had a clinical diagnosis for depression. The way I've seen the term used on tumblr, "neurodivergent" generally does not include depression under the umbrella, but maybe I'm wrong there: I've seen it overwhelmingly applied to ADHD and autism.

I am fairly sure I'm not autistic. About a year ago we were having my son tested for autism, so I spent a bunch of time looking at the diagnostic criteria, and while that's not really the same as taking tests and speaking with specialists myself, there's a whole lot of things there where I just think "no, this really does not apply to me". I've also met a lot of autistic people, and don't see myself in them, so if I were autistic I would be at the end of the spectrum where it's very difficult to actually tell.

I'm also fairly sure I don't have ADHD. I struggle with executive function sometimes, and definitely hyperfixate on things, but I think that's part of a pattern of addictive behaviors. (And yes, ADHD is often comorbid with addiction.) I think my hyperfixation is subclinical and within the bounds of neurotypical.

Anything else, I don't know, and haven't really looked into.

When I was a teenager I was institutionalized after a suicide attempt, and so spent about a month 1) with therapists watching me carefully and 2) around other people with various mental issues that were obvious to me. And while I think it would be incredibly likely for them and subsequent therapists to have missed a diagnosis, I've been around the mental health professionals enough that I would have expected them to float the possibility.

I would say that I have a cluster of personality traits that might make people waggle their eyebrows, but a lot of it is well within the range of neurotypical. I'm rules-oriented, I like research, I like evidence, I hate being wrong, I can be overly serious about things, I usually prefer explicit and clear communication as opposed to leaving things unspoken or implied, but like ... I don't know. I think I see a lot of people post stuff that goes "my autistic ass:" and then a completely normal human emotion or experience? Like "my autistic ass didn't know she was flirting", and then I sit there shaking my head because this is extremely relatable to almost everyone, you can go into any /r/AskReddit thread and there will be thousands of people talking about their experience with the opacity of flirtation. If I were self-diagnosing, I think I would have to reach toward stuff that is just squarely within the realm of the neurotypical.

tl;dr: neurotypical unless you count depression, which most people don't seem to (?), and above the baseline of normal anxiety, but probably not clinically so

[marivanilla05]

Done reading the Iliad, and one of the reasons I'd been stalling on reading it before was how much hate I saw people give Hera or Agamemnon.

And then I read the actual text and found how silly everything is??? Why didn't anybody tell me that the Iliad is literally just a family feud between the gods, and full of dudes (and Athena) throwing bolders at each other, and Agamemnon and Achilles acting like they're having a petty break-up.

Hera (on at least 3 seperate occasions) tells Zeus that he's their father's worst child, and that he's obligated to listen to her because she's not only his wife but his elder sister. Like, she hit him with the "I'm older than you how dare you talk to me like that."

Then we have Zeus banning all the gods from interfering with the war (except of himself of course) before announcing the "Trojan War: Frenzy Round" where he calls all the gods to join (including A RIVER???) and lets the Greeks win just because Hera slept with him.

Athena manipulating Zeus in almost every interaction because she's "daddy's little girl" + everytime she goes to battle she wears her father's tunic and I'm just imagining it like some toddler wearing their parent's shirt.

She also beats the crap out of Ares AND Aphrodite, leaves them on the floor and says "whoever messes with me will get owned"

Hera proceeds to beat the crap out of Artemis with her own bow. Hermes is literally on Hera's side, but sees that and is like "yo Leto I'm not gonna fight you because I think you should go check on your kid..." while Artemis runs crying to Zeus who's like "my precious daughter who hurt you???" And she's like "YOUR WIFE!"

(Also, on the other end, so many people hate on Agamemnon but not Achilles as well? Like they were both stubborn, Achilles more so. PLUS Achilles brutally killed/enslaved so many people even before Patroclus' death, I'm surprised that Agamemnon-only hate is more popular. Like everyone sucks in the Iliad, it's either you hate everyone, or you like the characters in spite of their crimes.)

It takes Patroclus dying for Achilles to forgive Agamemnon (at this point Agamemnon was convinced to give Achilles so many gifts including but not limited to (returning Briseis, gold, land, one of Agamemnon's daughters' hand in marriage)) Achilles then proceeds to murder a bunch of people.

Odysseus and Diomedes jumping a guy, killing 13 other people, and stealing horses.

Nestor drinking wine in the middle of a battle, hearing the chaos, and saying "wait a minute, I gotta get a good view of this action" Also Nestor kicking Diomedes to wake him up.

Helen insulting the crap out of Paris.

Hector insulting the crap out of Paris. Also Priam basically calling his surviving sons trash now that Hector is dead.

Idomeneus and Meriones being tag-team bros. Why don't I ever hear about them huh?

Also the amount of times I read the phrase "the two named Ajax" or "Ajax and Ajax" like did they just stick to each other because they share a name? Like Ajax (the greater) literally has Teucer, his own half-brother to back him up, and for some reason the two of them just hang out with Oilean Ajax on the battlefield???

There are a lot more but I can't remember any right now.

[boudicasdaughter]

musician here- 15+ years in it professionally- I can! The pop industry can be picked apart pretty quickly, it's not that big.

I like to call it 'the game'.

What music companies do is come up with a brand to target a market, then sign talent to fit that market. Here's The Game: how well each album does determines how much creative control you as an artist have over the next album; you sign for multiple albums at a time, and if you make no money you're done. This means you can be 'shelved' in favor of another artist in your genre; you cannot sign with anyone else but they won't approve release of your next album.

If you come to the table with no writing chops, your job is pretty much to sing what's written for you until you can prove yourself. Example; Taylor Swift used to write pop with the people her teams chose frequently (as you'll see in a moment!), but as a superstar she's been working with Aaron Dessner from The National (and I, a former hater, give folklore a *chef's kiss*)

Aight let's fuckin go let's start with the song that made my mother ban Britney Spears from our house:

there are lots of places that list songwriters, but the easiest way is usually to check the lyric sites (which pull from those places)

Max Martin and Rami. Very famous writing/production team (both men), who have made pop songs for decades now. That album was one of their first projects together. Max Martin you may have heard of before. Here are his Billboard Hot 100 hits; you can see how he writes to the "brand" of each artist:

MAX MARTIN ALSO GOT DR. LUKE FAMOUS. Dr. Luke (of abusing Ke$ha fame) was the fucking guitarist for SNL until like 2007- but he met Max at a house party and they started swapping songs and eventually they wrote a big P!nk song together- THIS ONE:

Their next big hit was "I Kissed A Girl" for Katy Perry (who was discovered and signed as a 15 year old LITERAL CHURCH GIRL SINGING GOSPEL SONGS BY THE WAY!) Are you getting the picture? Dr Luke signed Kesha when she was 18!

Somewhere along the way Max Martin started another writing team called Wolf Cousins, which still functions as a songwriter club where he mentors other men on how to crack the charts. They made 1989 by Taylor and "Talking Body" by Tove Lo and Ariana's My Everything and Sweetener and and and - the list goes on, you can look it up.

Want a different genre? Let's check a song from someone who came to the industry with more influence and social power, at an older age: Cardi B's "WAP" (w Megan Thee Stallion). They're both credited as songwriters, but look at who else is:

Austin, James and Jorden? Yeah, I know em that's these guys, Ayo N Keyz and Megan's ex-boo Pardison Fontaine:

So, this was a kinda meh song Cardi (a brand) was making with Ayo and Keyz (recording) and Pardison Fontaine (writing) - until PF got close with Megan in 2020 and got her involved for some verses, and then they were cooking with sauce:

and THIS WAS THE FINAL PRODUCT! BEHOLD, "HOW TO RECEIVE SEXUAL PLEASURE FROM MEN BY CARDI B"

So yes, I'm sure Cardi/Megan wrote some lines on that song. Only they know who wrote which parts - but my point is this:

If you, as an artist, can't write a charting hit alone, the music companies are gonna stick you in a room with someone who can. Those people - at the company and in the room - are almost always men.

If you want to play The Game, your music gets filtered through the male gaze.

Nothing in pop is exempt from this process.

Everyone uses this model. Everyone. You like Doechii? She was put with Gotye (yes Im serious, the "Somebody I Used to Know" guy). Gracie Abrams? That's Aaron from The National again. Ryan from OneRepublic wrote songs that ended up with Adele and Ellie Goulding. Beyoncé took a song or two from him too, as well as from Ne-Yo and a bunch of others. Jack from Fun/Bleachers has a whole career doing this.

"Fancy" by Iggy Azalea and Charli XCX? I see seven writers credited, they're the only women listed. Remember "Glamorous" by Fergie? Six writers, five are men. Miley Cyrus has star power in her brand and can request to work with who she wants, but she doesn't write well - so her new song "End of the World" credits her, and Molly from Alvvays (an amazing musician and songwriter), and then five men. Miley's first big hit that I remember was "Party In The USA" - but she's not even a credited writer. That song came from Dr Luke and a producer being put in a room with 20 year old Jessie J- and they gave 15 y/o Miley that song because it was a winner and she was an industry baby with a Disney brand who needed a song and could outsell Jessie. "Monster" by Rihanna was another big one. That was Bebe Rexha's (written by Jon Bellion and friends) until it was given to sexy sexy Rihanna and Eminem was added for star power. You can still find Bebe's version leaked on YouTube.

Halsey? Last I checked was Nine Inch Nails. Rosalia? Yes, she plays the game too. Selena Gomez- yup, definitely. Camila Cabello? Haha! Lizzo? Yeah, I think her big hits were all the guy who wrote Derulo's "Talk Dirty". I could keep going. No one is exempt from The Game.

You can be smart about it, like Megan Trainor and Lady Gaga, and study music until you're hooky enough to sign with a label who can see you as a writer and you choose your own cowrites, harmless mostly gay men or older family men, but you can't escape The Game.

As a woman: if they can scout you young and train you to be a consistent cowriter (Lana, Taylor, Lorde) - great! If you can write for others and yourself (Sia, Julia Michaels, Starrah) - even better! If you can't write for shit, you can always be a sexy sexy singer (Katy Perry, Rihanna, Dua Lipa) and have the good ol' boys write for you. (Until you're not sexy sexy anymore, at least.)

Male singers have to play The Game too; Bernie Taupin wrote for Elton John, Jimmy Napes writes many of Sam Smith's hooks, Benny Blanco has a huge career writing for the pop charts- but. BUT. Women write for women, sometimes- while men write for men and women, always.

There's a difference between being a singer/songwriter and being a ghostwriter for people. Being just a writer, as a woman? Difficult as fuck. We can sometimes break into that world (Amy Allen for Sabrina Carpenter, Lauren Christy for Avril Lavigne, Kara Dioguardi, Laura Veltz) and live on royalties without fame, but you must still write for the male gaze brand, selling something that can make music videos and tour and partner with huge sponsors- it's still a boys club. Which is why I started the post with Max fucking Martin who runs a literal songwriting boys club. His is very far from being the only one. His just specializes in this Brand Artist trash for young women, and is good at keeping trend-relevant producers around so they've haunted the charts like misogynistic Swedish ghouls for decades. Look up some recent hits and you'll see Dr Luke is out of favor and Shellback is the new hot sound, and I'm sure some new one on the way.

TLDR- there are a bunch of women in music (hello!) BUT we rarely get signed to write unless we can ALSO perform as the face of a brand; unless we can be sexy sexy marketable. Men are the radio heads, label execs, studio owners, songwriters and producers and gatekeepers, all beholden to a $30 BILLION DOLLAR INDUSTRY.

So yeah. it's a fucking thing. It's at the core of how it works. Women are the face of the brand catered to a market, men hold the power.

Ive been in this since the aughts and it's been horribly sexist the entire time, top to bottom. I've been stuck in those rooms with those men. I've been badgered for sex. I've been groped (and worse) and stalked and threatened and harassed and more, and I know plenty of industry scandals where women took settlement money to stay quiet about sexual assault, discrimination and more. The hierarchy is clear to everyone. Every time you're in the label offices or studio you see some pretty young women with stars in her eyes, being shown around and promised millions by a sleezy old douchebag.

This shit is systemic. Sex sells and the companies that control everything want to make money so they make and sell sex. It's designed to sell over authentic music not produced by a huge team of marketing specialists and predatory and self-obsessed men. Once in a blue moon does someone escape this formulaic hellscape of the music charts I've tried to show here and - lemme tell you - I fucking live for the moments that they do. All of us in the music world constantly have our ear to the ground for aberrations, moments of genuine artistry and authentic creativity powering through to popularity as these huge music corporations fight with each other for space on the charts. I think the most recent for me was Gigi Perez.

When you start paying attention, it's easy to see who's making money for what. The harsh truth, from a woman in music, is that a lot of women in music are just recording artists who decide to play the game and let men write their brand while they tour and dance in music videos, and it's insidious as fuck what the end result is.

fuck this business

anyways go GO FORTH with this knowledge on how to pick apart a pop song and slay. sorry for ruining the radio for you.

oh, and don't fall for the "breakout indie music" schtick either; Chappell Roan's cowriter is Dan from As Tall as Lions and his other recent project was Olivia Rodrigo:

NONE OF US ESCAPE THE GAME

most female pop singers are a face used to market songs written and produced by men, styled and choreographed and directed by men, dressing men's thoughts up as women's thoughts and then convincing the world this is how women think and feel because men's words are coming out of a woman's mouth

[tinesleftnipple]

JITD Episode 23 (non-final) Script Synopsis

Episode 20

Episode 21

Episode 22

"Herding Sheep"

At the Beehive, the consultant realizes besides the birthday party footage being tampered, the police are likely onto them because of the black car that picked up Du guosheng. The Beehive consultant makes a call to Yizhiyan (One Eye), telling him to "clean the diseased sheep that's been exposed".

Outside the ecological park where the dorms are hidden, Pei su, LWZ and Du jia watch, through drone footage, Yizhiyan delivering food to someone locked inside a factory-like building.

Du jia receives a call from Weiwei telling them that the Beehive people know about Longyuncheng. LWZ and Du jia decide to head in to find Du guosheng. Pei su grabs LWZ and tells him to be careful.

In the basement, Du guosheng is chained up. Yizhiyan brings him food and suddenly the electricity goes out. There is no phone signal either. Yizhiyan leaves. Outside, Pei su is flying the drone and signaling to LWZ and Du jia where to go. LWZ and Du jia race to see who catches Du guosheng first - the winner gets a reward from Pei su. LWZ sneaks into the building and Pei su can only hear grunts and fighting. Pei su calls out shixiong anxiously and LWZ replies he's okay, and tells Pei su to keep an eye out for the "Shepherd Dog". LWZ finds Du guosheng in the basement. He wins the race

Pei su discovers through the drone camera a half hidden gas station in the distance, and is shocked to see a man with binoculars staring straight at his drone. The man, who is the Shepherd Dog, calls the Beehive consultant and asks for permission to destroy the base - they've been exposed.

In the basement, LWZ unchains an unconscious Du guosheng and is about to leave with him when Du guosheng suddenly attacks. Du jia arrives and knocks him unconscious.

The Shepherd Dog lights a fire at the gas station and nonchalantly inserts batteries into a remote controller. In the boiler room, a bomb countdown is set at 10:00. The Shepherd Dog gets in his car and is ready to leave when suddenly another car hits his into a tree. Pei su steps out but before he is able to drag an unconscious Shepherd Dog out from the car, he realizes something and quickly steps back into his car and whips out his phone. The bomb countdown has begun.

Pei su tells the other 2 there is a bomb, which he guesses is placed beneath the dorms. LWZ decides to head to the boiler room to defuse the bomb, while Du jia carries Du guosheng out.

Backup arrives (headed by LWZ's father Luo cheng) and all the escaped criminals are under control. In the boiler room, LWZ stares at the 00:06:08 on the counter and sweats. He video calls a colleague for help on how to diffuse the bomb, showing him there's 4 minutes left.

A montage of scenes: Pei su speeding in his car, LWZ diffusing the bomb, police backup escorting the criminals out. Tao ze and Du ju arrive just in time to see Pei su's car zoom past them into the ecological park. A police yells for Du ju to hide for cover - there's a bomb inside the park. Tao ze looks back at the direction Pei su went in.

2 minutes left on the counter. LWZ doesn't have x-ray with him so the last step is a 50/50 chance. He cuts the right wire. Suddenly, a loud screech of tires outside and Pei su bursts in ready to berate him, but the counter starts up again. They run outside into the car. There is 40 seconds left.

Pei su's car is enveloped in fire. A huge noise, and the entire area is bombed. Outside the park, the police watch on. Tao ze is terrified.

A rumble breaks the silence. Everyone turns around to see a familiar car approaching. Pei su and LWZ step out. LWZ asks for help with dealing with the bunch from Longyuncheng. Everyone gathers around him in relief. LWZ and Pei su lock eyes across the crowd and smile at each other.

The Shepherd Dog regains consciousness, sees the explosion aftermath, and happily sends a "mission accomplished" text. LWZ approaches with gun in hand and introduces himself as a police dog and asks Shepherd Dog to come back to the station with him.

At the Beehive, the consultant smiles upon receiving the Shepherd Dog's text. But before they are able to leave the building, Xiao wu and a crowd of police capture them.

In the bathroom, XHY and Lan qiao are still trying to figure out what to do with an unconscious WZH. XHY receives a call from LWZ telling him that they caught Du guosheng. Now they can make their arrests. XHY shakily takes out a pair of handcuffs and Lan qiao cuffs WZH.

Du jia standing by a tree, smoking, watching the police take Du guosheng away. Pei su walks over and stands beside him. Du jia was thinking about the day he found out his older brother was killed. Flashback: Du jia telling Pei su that "they" said if he crashes and kills Pei chengyu, they will hand over Du guosheng to him. Pei su knows Du jia won't do it. Pei su tells Du jia he knows Du jia is different from them. Like what happened today, Du jia saved Du guosheng's life because there are other victims waiting to see Du guosheng in court. Pei su reassures Du jia that Du guosheng will receive the proper punishment, and looks towards LWZ.

It's dusk. LWZ is sitting in the ambulance. Tao ze finds him. LWZ asks if the old higher ups are mad about LWZ not reporting to them before acting. He will have to write reports all night.

Back at SID, the team is crowded together. Du ju stands alone, watching them. Pei su arrives last, thoughtfully watching Du ju.

The next day in the interrogation room. Du guosheng seems very relaxed and easily admits he killed Feng bin, and that it was "the Planner" who told him to do so. Du guosheng explains there are 3 VIP membership types in the Beehive. The real customers who hold the "black card" can consult a "Planner" and hire people like Du guosheng to do the job. Du guosheng reveals that he was told XXN was one of them, but she looked so inexperienced that he took away the phone with tracker in case she makes a mistake. The planner he communicated with is A13.

Du guosheng tells the police that he was not worried about being seen in Longyuncheng's security footage. Longyuncheng belongs to the Wei family - they would certainly have deleted any evidence of WWC meeting with him right away. Outside the interrogation room, Pei su texts Du jia for him to investigate who switched out the security tapes twice.

There are 2 types of jobs for the clients: life and death. The death kind are suicide missions - car crashes that look like accidents, for example. Life ones are more complicated - the person taking on the job must have some level of fame. Once they do the job, they must do it in a way that the police won't suspect there is a client behind it. The newspaper the next day should say something like "escaped convict kills for money" to divert attention away from the client.

LWZ asks about the fingerprint at the Louvre from 10 years ago. Du guosheng recalls after 327, he was almost caught, but was approached by the Shepherd Dog who offered him a fake identity. At the time, they lived and hid at the Louvre. He often went out to drink and once ended up killing someone in a fight, and left his fingerprint at the scene. The organization acted fast and set the Louvre on fire, then blamed the death on Huo xiao.

LWZ rewords what Du guosheng said, and sums up: Huo xiao was wronged. There is an uproar in the meeting room as all the higher ups are wrapping their heads around this news.

In the hallway, XHY stands facing the wall. After a long moment, his shoulders shake ever so slightly, and he breaks down and cries like a child.

[damnfandomproblems]

Fandom Problem #8729:

A couple days ago on reddit, I read an eloquently-written post about how author self-deprecation can be off-putting for readers when they open a fic. OP explained how, while they understand authors' desires to temper expectations before someone reads their fics, it primes the readers to expect lower quality. One person also commented how if the author thinks their fic is bad, then readers are going to naturally trust their opinion as a basic litmus test for if it's worth reading at all. If the author loudly declares it's not worth reading, they'll be more prone to skip it. Excessive self-reproach is also unappealing, and not something people like to see in general. Nobody likes being around someone where all they do is share negative self-talk and this goes the same for constantly running into those words online. Anyways, the OP called this "self-sabotage".

My own opinion was similar, with the added notion that insisting one's writing is horrible puts unnecessary pressure and burden on commenters to not only comment on the fic, but also address the self-deprecation specifically. A lot of people aren't equipped for this, and they feel awkward if they think they need to provide a confidence boost beyond simply saying "this fic is great". So again, people will be prone to leaving - or if they do read the fic, reading but not commenting.

This goes double if the author makes implications about the people liking the fic, such as, "this isn't worth the kudos or likes, why are you commenting, it's trash...". Because that implies the people who liked or kudos'd the fic have bad judgment and made a mistake.

Fast forward to this morning. I stumbled upon a person on tumblr who saw this post and boy, they went on a long spiel about how the post offended them, how "it's writing culture to be self-deprecating", and they missed the point entirely. Writers doubt their work a lot and are often never satisfied with it, especially if they're fervent writers who like to self-improve. But in a social context, it's simply not very appealing to constantly put yourself down. It puts pressure on other people to go above what they otherwise would have commented. It can also feel like "compliment fishing", ie. manipulative. And lacking confidence in your work isn't grounds to imply other people are idiots for liking your work, which unfortunately a lot of people do.

In a way, that person's response post reminded me a lot about the tumblr RPC. In the RPC, back when I was participating in it (thank god I no longer am), it was completely normalized (and I mean that word when I say it) to self-deprecate and put yourself down, and to also extend this to everyone. It wasn't just considered good form to say "you were a loser at your keyboard pretending to be a character" (which frankly, even the "pretending" part isn't correct, we're all just writing, we're not LARPING, I've written for 20 years and never once considered it to be "pretending"). No, you had to go beyond that and say, "we're all just dumb losers at our keyboards pretending to be fictional characters."

You can see what the problem is. And in the RPC, there are many people who post almost daily about how they suck, and how their writing is awful, and nobody likes them, which elicits lots of kind comments. The interesting part is, these comments never come from the same blogs more than a week or two in a row. They always rotate out because people get tired of propping them up over and over again. This translates to AO3 where instead of a single person self-deprecating, it's a bunch of different ones. And readers often browse lots of fics at a time, so that self-deprecation can add up to a lot of pressure, very fast. It's no wonder people made a post like the OOP did on reddit. And people like the tumblr OP? They really need to get a bit of perspective.

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 352

“Mother, I crave violence,” a small child interrupts the video call, practically clambering up into Nightingale’s chair. They look around five or so, with white hair and red eyes. Albino perhaps? 

“Ah, apologies, let me take care of this real quick,” Nightingale turns the microphone off when he gets a few acknowledging noises, picking the small child up and moving them from the room. 

“Cute kid,” Barry acknowledged from behind his coworker’s head, having been helping move things. Actually, the kid looked kind of familiar, though from where, who knew. Hard to remember everything with how fast his thoughts usually went. “I didn’t know Nightingale was a father…” 

Then again the specialist was notoriously private, and set most meetings online thanks to some sort of medical conditions. So he supposed it would make it easier to be a stay at home dad if he was there already…

[mischievous-thunder]

But Wade being Wade, he takes the flirty Honey Badger home

[tae-shimura-is-my-wife]

At first this was going to be about the hipocrisy of fandom regarding ichiruki and the sacracity of m/f friendship rep, but then I perceveid it would be stupid since most of them could ship two doors if it was a man and woman, they just are doing mental olympics to disprove it being read as romantic.

But there's a part of this that's really annoying and it's the warriors of m/f friendship being mad at every IR shipper, but never at the people who erases Rukia infuence and importance from Ichigo's life.

Look a lot of giant Bleach accounts try to minimize Ichigo and Rukia relationship, they're the reason as to why Bleach even exist their relationship is the pillar of the entire story, they're soulmates and destined to be together (yes even in a platonic sense), but most of them don't even recognize that, most would say they're besties or share one braincell and that's it... not even having the nerve of saying Ichigo and Rukia are most important person in each other life.

It's really funny how IRs are the horrible ones for shipping two friends, but then get real quiet to the ones who literally ignore Rukia importance/presence, say Renji is actually Ichigo bestie, barely even post official art with these two, never complained about how Rukia and Ichigo bond was dimished in the last arc and in the post ending novel, like? Are you really a fan of their friendship or you are just mad bc people ship them instead of something else? Be serious for a moment! 90% of times folks say they're friends are because they find romantic IR an absurd idea, so many of "their friendship is so precious, such a shame a bunch of freaks ship them 🥺" Is it necessary? Everytime someone say Ichigo and Rukia are friends a whole ass crowd reunites to hate on the ship, I'm sorry but I thought you guys were there to celebrate their friendship? I will never take these people seriously.

[anotherpapercut]

genuinely so many of you want to be leftist and "punk" and countercultural soooooo bad but you refuse to become comfortable with the concept of people taking drugs for fun because they like it and not because they were somehow tricked or forced into it without knowing what they were getting themselves into

you'll be like "addiction is a disease!!" but think you're better than those degenerate stoners because you only drink energy drinks and white claws and would never touch "illegal drugs"

many if not most drugs CAN be consumed completely safely with almost 0 risk to the user and even if that werent true and all drugs were extremely dangerous you still wouldn't be better than those of us who love doing drugs recreationally

lighten up and grow up. get offline, talk to real adults, and stop being shocked to discover that they enjoy doing stuff that adults do like have sex and do drugs and even listen to rock and roll

[thegreatyin]

an important piece of scoundrel lore is that everyone's OCs in their entirety are all somehow in various ways canon to their personal continuity. yes even if some major OC events directly contradict each other. your character also won the marvellous? what a coincidence, they just so happened to win it as well. killed the vake? suddenly we've jumped ahead to when that happens in the scoundrel's timeline. the last constable is alive? you sent mr transport to the avid horizon? you're also a holder of the robe of mr cards? that's all just firmament-style schrodinger's reality baby

[yourlocalderp]

aboutta become the biggest hater rn who tf was the bitchass who changed the aventurine x dr ratio ship name to the blandest possible combination ever known as "ratiorine" because the moment i saw it as its ship name i knew we've lost everything as a society we lost RATURINE.