#and this goes for a bunch of other people

[ross-hollander]

BT mech drivers coming across a single Lich is probably a horror story.

I've got a guy in my party right now who's turn is basically a complicated game of Nuh Uh and Well Actually where people switch places a bunch and grenades, rockets, or other projectiles suddenly become allied firemissions.

Also it glitches time repeatedly and simply refuses to die.

A Monarch is probably almost regular. LRM spam is normal! Expected! yeah that one mech produced a firemission measured in gridsquares, but it didn't do it twice.

The horror, as I understand it, of a LANCER pilot going to Battletech is that you are stuck in a dedicated atrocity-perpetrating machine built around a tin can, usually loaded with more firepower than you could even safely use without going into shutdown, most likely in the service of one of at least a dozen different military dictatorships (because they are the only form of government that is, on the large scale, left) whose avaricious drive for galactic domination makes SecCom look like so many lollipop men.

The horror of a Battletech pilot going to LANCER is that the rare type of 'mech engagement is one where the known principles of causality, physics, metaphysics and probably theology don't get swiftly scrunched up and thrown out the nearest window into wherever it is a Mourning Cloak goes when they roll the funny numbers. If there is any kind of Unmoved Mover animating the universe of LANCER it would take, at most, a dozen frames to go and sword-fight Them in a Denny's parking lot. And handily win.

[tossawary]

I wish we saw more casual diversity among Vulcans in regards to... well, everything: fashion, art, history, geography, language, religion and philosophy, occupations, familial units, and logical styles and emotional management, and so on. The monoculture that "Star Trek" tends towards is both unrealistic and kind of boring.

(I think that my ideal "Star Trek" show would have a minimum of two matching non-humans in the main crew who are from opposite sides of their planet; these two alien coworkers have almost NOTHING in common. It immediately creates compelling character dynamics.)

Anyway, even within the specific Surakian Logic sect that Spock and his family seem to belong to, there's still opportunity for fun, divisive hobbies among this particular group of Vulcans. We can have judgey Vulcans looking at other Vulcans' weird, harmless antics and saying, "What illogical behavior," while the other Vulcans are judging them back for being illogical in their own opinion. Let Vulcans be REAL nerds: I think that pre-Surak historical reenactment is not an uncommon hobby, both casual LARPing and hardcore reenactment.

It's educational to spin and weave and sew your own pre-Surakian garments! It's educational to forge your own weaponry! It's grounding, like meditation! It is humbling to truly realize the complicated labor involved in fabrication. Even when they were surrendering to their emotional urges, you know, Vulcan ancestors were not completely illogical: they knew how to fashion a comfortable garment well-suited to the desert. Camping in the wilderness and foraging for food connects oneself to nature, teaches about history, and settles oneself in the present.

Also, it's good physical exercise and emotionally cathartic to beat the shit out of each other with foam-wrapped lirpa, screaming at the top of your lungs. It's very logical. There's a medical team on standby, reading on their pads and drinking tea.

You beam down in the wrong part of the desert at the right time and find a bunch of scantily-clad Vulcan warriors (outfits depend on the chosen time period and location) (of all genders) shrieking and rolling in the dirt, until a timer goes off, and then the scheduled mock-battle is over and everyone helps each other up. (Depends how hardcore the group is, of course.) (Also, yeah, obviously, some of these groups have a hook-up culture attached / embedded.) Two bleeding guys who were previously punching each other in the face salute each other and part ways, one to go write a new archeological paper based on his findings here ("Fascinating") and the other to his low-level government desk job ("Most invigorating exercise").

If this happens anywhere near where people live, then the neighbors are shaking their heads and saying to each other, "I don't know how anyone could come to their conclusions and call it logical. Their foundational premises must be flawed." 😐 Some of them while closely watching the entire scandalous affair through binoculars and telescopes, of course. 🤔

[mintmatcha]

So does Kirishima ever threaten sero when he keeps asking about reader?

Sero's phone buzzes across the table, barely audible over the thrum of fake gunfire. The round's just begun, so Kirishima tries to ignore it, but his friend is already squirming in his seat.

"Someone's home from cram school." Sero's hunched over himself, controller basically in his face. His smile is suspiciously taut, lips parted over his perfectly straight teeth. "I'm out after this round."

Of course he is. That's all these sleepovers have become: charades for him to sneak over and see you.

"My dad's going to be pissed if he finds out you snuck out." Kirishima says. It's not really true - he'd probably applaud Sero before anything else - but the lie feels good to say. He's already jamming the controller harder than he should, the plastic edge digging into his palm.

"I'm not scared of your dad-- he loves me."

Kirishima sinks back into the couch. His character's already dead, laying there, waiting to be revived.

"I just-" He shouldn't say anything. "Can you not mess with her, please?"

With a snort, Sero looks over, his expression unchanged until he takes in Kirishima's look.

"What do you mean?" Sero shrugs, turning back to the television. "We just, like, hang out and junk. Watch some anime, make out. Nothing major."

"But she's really nice," Kirishima says, carefully. "And really lonely. If you're just gonna treat her like-"

With a grunt and a gasp, Sero's character's dead now too. He places his controller down pointedly.

"Like what?"

Kirishima swallows down the lump in his throat.

"Like every other girl." The red head crosses his arms. "If you're going to treat her like every other girl, you should just leave her alone."

Scoffing, Sero looks at his friend, lips parted in a clownish frown. "What does that mean?"

"You know what it means."

Sero pushes off of the couch.

"Whatever, Kirishima." He tucks his hands into his pockets, fists balled. "Just because you don't like girls-"

Everything goes hot. From his fingertips, to his toes, the the space behind his eyes, every part of Kirishima's body suddenly burns. The heavy space in his throat is suddenly dry, crumbling, sticking up any words that could possibly come out. All he can do is sit there and stare, eyes wide, expression gaunt.

"I like girls." Kirishima can't help but think that Sero looks particularly good in the low light - those soft child's features melting away into his late teens, cheekbone cut by the diffused light of the television screen- and that makes his stomach even more sour. "I'm not-- "

The tension shrinks out of Sero's body as he seems to process what he said. "I didn't mean it like that."

"I like girls."

"I didn't mean it like that, Kiri, just-"

Kirishima finds his feet. Sero's taller, but Kirishima's bigger, muscle built out from training. When he folds his arms, he bunches his biceps up and tucks his fists behind them. The harrowed heat inside him has changed to a burning anger.

"Do you even like girls?" The words tumble out on their own. "Because all you do is treat them like garbage. "

Sero laughs, light and airy in the way that only fuels the flame.

"We all know you're just acting like this-" Kirishima shouldn't say it. He's not even supposed to know; it's drama passed to him through classmates, whispered behind Sero's back- "Because your dad cheats on your mom."

Sero blinks as if he's been slapped. Then, he blinks again. His tongue rolls over his teeth, measuring his emotions.

"Don't talk about my mom."

"Don't say that I don't like girls!"

The silence between them is wild, like static. It burns, it demands to be filled by something other than Kirishima's heavy breathing, but instead they both look at each other, firm, resolved.

"Fine." Sero snatches his phone from the table. "Whatever, Kiri. Least I get to make out with people."

In three big steps, he's gone, into the hall and presumably out of the apartment all together. Kirishima's silence goes softer.

"I like girls," he says to the television screen.

[allpiesforourown]

So a bit off topic from hatman but does Luo Binghe have kids already in the harem member Shen Yuan AU? I know you had another post with stepmom Shen Yuan but can you imagine some of Luo Binghe's kids falling for the pretty omega that lives in the secluded part of the palace. Not only is he pretty but he actually works to help out with the problems their families face. Plus he's one of the few people that calls out the emperor for not spending enough time with his kids and ensures they all get a proper education. He also remembers their birthdays and somehow knows their favorite sweets! He's not only a better father to them but a better husband to their moms. At some point some of them realize that Luo Binghe has not touched Shen Yuan and in demon terms, an unmarked omega is fair game. Cue a bunch of kids making plans to bridenap Shen Yuan once they come of age. Because Shen Yuan deserves a lovely mate who will dote on them and give them children. Plus their moms would no doubt be thrilled to have Shen Yuan as family. In the mean time they plan to subtly court the oblivious omega.

Spoiler: Luo Binghe is definitely not supportive of this idea.

So real.. adding onto this: Luo binghe qi deviating into a child like in the return to childhood extra. He's too ashamed to admit what's happened so he's just walking around his palace wondering how he can use his current form to his advantage and bumping into shen yuan.

I think most harem members would be very cold to children from other mothers for obvious reasons.. binghe expecting harem drama, waiting for shen yuan to get angry because "your mother can secure a place in the harem by birthing you, but I can't!"

Instead shen yuan sees this little boy who looks like binghe wandering around unaccompanied and kneels down and asks if he's lost. He carefully says it's dangerous for a child to be alone in the palace (not mentioning envious wives who take their anger out on other people's kids because binghe won't impregnate them) so no one is blamed. He just takes Binghe’s hand and asks "who's your mother? I'll help you find her."

Binghe feeling really emotional for a second and letting it slip that his mother passed away. Shen yuan is confused because how could a wife of the protagonist die? He doesn't want to question it though, he's read enough harem dramas to know some women only have children as a status symbol they neglect... so if this boy is making excuses to avoid seeing his mother, that's okay!

Shen yuan being so sweet and gentle with binghe, patting his head and calling him a good boy... then when binghe returns to normal shen yuan goes back to calling him "lord luo" and maintaining a respectful distance.

When binghe sees his kids hanging around shen yuan instead, getting his smiles..... he's drinking soooo much vinegar

[signanothername]

Could we have some soft/comfort headcannons about anyone of your choosing? It's election night and I really would like something soft for my brain to chew on instead of worry all night

Absolutely!

Imma give you a bunch of different little guys <333

———

Killer:

-his cats help him a lot with sleep problems, they make him calm enough to the point of actually closing his eyes whenever he’s with them (reminder that he usually sleeps with one eye open xhxbbx)

-after he’s saved, he gradually becomes better at eating, he still avoids food that reminds him of the past but becomes more accepting of other types of food, eventually getting his bone mass and weight back, going from lanky to chubby <3333

-he eventually accepts the state of his soul and instead of trying to fix it, he tries to understand it, understand himself, he becomes a lot more gentle with his own self

———

Color:

-he has albums upon albums full of pictures he took over the years, filled with places he visited, pictures of people he loves and moments he cherishes

-he’s very connected with so many people, and a lot of people find him to be a great confidant, he does a lot to help people where he can, he eventually gets the good he gave back with people taking care of him

-he’s in a queer platonic relationship with Delta and Epic

———

Nightmare:

-he has piles upon piles of gifts Dream gave him for their birthday over the years, he never got rid of any of them, these gifts are something he cherishes dearly

-he’s the one to introduce Killer to Ccino’s cafe, he actually did that with no ill intentions, and Nightmare himself is not really sure why he went out of his way to introduce Killer to the cafe

-he and Dream sometimes sit beside their mother in silence, just taking everything in, taking each other presence in, not talking or interacting, Nightmare feels peaceful during these moments, it’s the closest thing to the same feelings he had as a happy child

———

Dream:

-even though he has a fallout with Ink, he eventually remedies his relationship with them, they become best friends again

-whenever life gets too much, he goes to Swap’s house and stays with the swap bros, it helps immensely

-Dream never expects to receive anything on his birthday, that expectation is broken when he receives a gift from Nightmare, he never got another gift afterwards, it’s only that one gift, but it’s the entire world to him

———

Error:

-he thinks of Ink as his bestest friend in the world, he’d never admit that out loud tho dhdhhdhdh (they’re frenemies)

-he loves geno and Fresh dearly, they’re his proclaimed siblings, he’s more open about his love with them

-he actually takes commissions by making dolls for people who want them in exchange for chocolate as payment (his chocolate stock never runs out zgxggx)

———

Horror:

-He eventually finds a better relationship with food

-he succeeds at escaping from Nightmare and managing to keep his AU (and most importantly his brother) safe in the process

-he finds himself becoming best friends with Farm

———

Ink:

-his art is something others never see, but surprisingly, if you had the chance to see it, then you’d find it’s art the people they love most

-their fallout with Dream actually hurt him, so when he and Dream got back to being besties, they felt very happy about it

-he loves spending time with Color, Epic and Delta cause of their constant traveling habits, they’re very entertaining to be around

-while they spend most his time in the doodlesphere, the second place you’ll most likely see them in is with their parents in the omega timeline, he loves them with all his heart

———

These are the ones I can think of off the top of my head hdhdhdhdh hope they’re enough to rotate in your brain all day <333333

[mx-anthropy]

I wish university was free like my trade certificate was (it came free with the 4 grinding years of being an apprentice anyway).

I also think apprenticeship style education is very cool in that people can have a go at the job they are learning which can help them figure out if they actually like it enough to become a qualified [insert job here].

Not to say that apprenticeships are great in every way, a whole bunch of my apprenticeship really sucked. But I did come out the other side of it with a whole bunch of skills I value (and also a different gender, but that was unrelated).

I really like working in the industry that I have a qualification in, it gives me a lot of satisfaction to use my trade skills effectively and confidently, and I get a very tangible outcome at the end of each job: car comes in with problem, car goes out with problem solved.

I will probably have to stop being a mechanic in the next 10 years though because it's (not so) slowly destroying my body lol.

Anyway all of that meandering text aside, I wish university was free and the economy and jobs weren't all horrible so that people could find personally fulfilling things to do with their time on this Earth without having to figure out in advance which eleventy-squillion dollar degree will get them to said fulfilling pursuit.

I'm struggling to come to terms with just how much money I'm paying for university compared to what I'm actually getting, how is this worth it?

Financially speaking it may not be: the old path of 'education to good job' was destroyed even before I went to university for the simple reason that there are no good jobs anymore - even the ones that make you very rich (owning a tech company) don't seem to make people happy and the ones that make you happy (actress/podcaster/YouTube idiot) don't make you rich.

You may find though that the value of an education isn't measured in either the short term or in dollars. That's sortof up to you to discover for yourself over the rest of your life.

[tae-shimura-is-my-wife]

At first this was going to be about the hipocrisy of fandom regarding ichiruki and the sacracity of m/f friendship rep, but then I perceveid it would be stupid since most of them could ship two doors if it was a man and woman, they just are doing mental olympics to disprove it being read as romantic.

But there's a part of this that's really annoying and it's the warriors of m/f friendship being mad at every IR shipper, but never at the people who erases Rukia infuence and importance from Ichigo's life.

Look a lot of giant Bleach accounts try to minimize Ichigo and Rukia relationship, they're the reason as to why Bleach even exist their relationship is the pillar of the entire story, they're soulmates and destined to be together (yes even in a platonic sense), but most of them don't even recognize that, most would say they're besties or share one braincell and that's it... not even having the nerve of saying Ichigo and Rukia are most important person in each other life.

It's really funny how IRs are the horrible ones for shipping two friends, but then get real quiet to the ones who literally ignore Rukia importance/presence, say Renji is actually Ichigo bestie, barely even post official art with these two, never complained about how Rukia and Ichigo bond was dimished in the last arc and in the post ending novel, like? Are you really a fan of their friendship or you are just mad bc people ship them instead of something else? Be serious for a moment! 90% of times folks say they're friends are because they find romantic IR an absurd idea, so many of "their friendship is so precious, such a shame a bunch of freaks ship them 🥺" Is it necessary? Everytime someone say Ichigo and Rukia are friends a whole ass crowd reunites to hate on the ship, I'm sorry but I thought you guys were there to celebrate their friendship? I will never take these people seriously.

[more-hysteria-things]

BEGGING FOR SOME LIKE JACK FLUFF FROM LIKE A ROUGH DAY ON SET AND HIM JUST BEING SWEET TO US!! (my first scenario🥳)

ROUGH DAY

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jack champion x fem!reader

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: it’s one of those days on set, and jack is not having it. even worse that it’s his birthday, the day when it’s supposed to be fun and carefree. then, you come along to truly show how much he means to you.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: none! just tooth rotting fluff :)

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1,224

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: FIRST JACK FIC LFG.

also, since this is my other account for non-sturniolo fics i’m still putting the same tag list. if you would like to not get tagged for this blog, just let me know!

shoutout to bbg @venusbabysblog for helping me get started🥹

𝐁𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐑 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 blessing. it’s a job where you have great opportunities to meet amazing people and be in hit films, but sometimes it’s a struggle. jack opens the door to his trailer with a clenched jaw, shutting the door as he looks around. his eyebrows twitch in confusion, noticing how you’re not in sight.

your boyfriend loves to bring you along to wherever he goes for filming. one reason being that he honestly can’t live without you, but also because you’re his biggest fan and will support him through anything. usually, you’d be watching him act from afar or you’d be waiting in his trailer by watching TV or keeping yourself occupied in general. however, you’re nowhere to be seen.

he’s on a long break until later tonight, which annoys him. he just wants this day to be over. “y/n?” he calls out, peeking his head into the small bedroom. alas, you’re not there.

alarms start to go off in his head, although it’s silly. you can’t really go anywhere, but since you’re not in your usual spot, the caring boyfriend in him makes him worry that something bad has happened. especially since you didn’t text him that you were going somewhere or anything.

then, a giggle is heard along with the opening of his trailer door, and he turns around to face the noise. he takes a small sigh of relief when he sees you beaming from ear to ear holding a present bag.

while in the middle of a scene, jack texted you about the day he’s having—lines he couldn’t nail, and a director who seemed impossible to please. you frown slightly when you see his semi-disgruntled face, shuffling over to him excitedly to wrap your arms around his body in an embrace he desperately needs. he exhales deeply, bends down to nuzzle his face into your neck, and kisses it softly.

“sorry, i was hoping i’d be back before you were, but your mom and i got stuck in traffic,” you say in his chest before pulling away after long seconds. trying to make the atmosphere more positive, you smile and extend your arm with the bag in hand. “happy birthday!”

the smallest smile appears on his face, grabbing your hand to head over to the leather couch to sit down. he places the bag onto the floor, removing the tissue inside of it to reveal his presents. his eyes widen in surprise, seeing more than he thought you’d get him. “you didn’t have to do all of this...” he says, a small blush forming on his cheeks.

he pulls out the first thing that sits on top of the rest, which is a homemade birthday card out of construction paper in his favorite color. he lets out a chuckle as he looks at the front of it, seeing two drawn stick figures that are supposed to be you and him holding hands with the title in big writing: HAPPY BIRTHDAY •ᴗ•

opening the card, there’s a bunch of words scribbled on the right side.

jack,

*queue song* happy birthday to you!

i am so incredibly proud of you watching the way you chase your dreams. here’s to many more birthdays, memories, and quiet moments in between the chaos. no matter how many lights and cameras around, you’ll always just be jack to me. the one who laughs too loud, holds me close, and somehow manages to make me feel like I’m the only girl in the world.

i’m so grateful to be apart of your story.

always, y/n ❤︎

p.s. like what your name implies, you are indeed a champion.

his heart jumps with joy, closing the note and leaning in to peck you on the nose. your face turns red as you try not to beam with happiness, tilting your head to the bag. “there’s still a lot more.”

he nods, placing the card aside as he grabs a leather journal, specifically personalized for him. the border of it is embroidered with eye-catching detail, his initials JC in big cursive letters in the middle. you know jack sometimes likes to scribble lines down in between takes in a way to remember, or something to put his ideas in for fun. he flips through the pages rapidly, the gust of air flowing on his face as he smells the paper and leather mixed.

you watch his every move, nibbling on your bottom lip excitedly when he pulls out a small, navy blue box. inside of it is a chained necklace with a small pendant of a waxing crescent. the moon phase the day he was born.

scratching the back of your neck nervously, you speak. “this one’s a little girly…” you trail off. “you don’t have to wear it, you can hang it up or something for decoration. i just thought it was pretty.”

he nudges your arm with his elbow. “stop that. it’s beautiful; i love it.”

jack carefully takes it out of the box, undoing the chain and reaching behind his neck to clip it. the length is perfect, and the accessory oddly suits him. “thank you.” he says softly, running his hand over the moon and reaching into the bag once more.

this time, he pulls out two things. another book along with a film camera on top of it tied in ribbon so both items can stick together. while untying it, he notices the scrapbook underneath.

THE STORY OF US…

he glances at you as he starts to look into it. the pages are filled with film photos, ticket stubs, and little mementos from your favorite times together. you’d written little captions under each, capturing inside jokes and sweet moments. it was something he could flip through on hard days.

however, each left page is blank. “you can add to it whenever you have the time. it takes two people to make a love story, you know.” you explain, feeling somewhat cheesy and cringy at the saying, but you mean it.

last but not least, the last few items are snacks. homemade cookies, energy bars, and even a small container of his favorite food.

he feels overwhelmed by all of the gifts but in a good way. nobody has ever shown him this much adoration before, and it’s obvious how much he means to you. “y/n.” your name rolls perfectly off of his tongue, his eyes not leaving the presents now scattered on the couch cushion. “i love it all so much. genuinely, thank you.”

you place your hands on the sides of his neck so he can look at you, kissing him full of love. he cherishes you, and he couldn’t ask for a better girlfriend. he’s always so grateful that he met you that time in his hometown. you made his 𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐃𝐀𝐘 turn around completely.

“how’d you even do all of this?” he adds, starting to feel dumbfounded about how you did all of this under his nose without him knowing.

“i don’t kiss and tell.” you say with a smirk. “but also with the help of your mom.”

laughing, he grunts as he lays to rest his head on your stomach, your hands finding way into his wavy hair. “i’m so in love with you.” he mumbles, grabbing your hand and kissing the back of it.

best. birthday. ever.

𝐭𝐚𝐠 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!

@bunbunbl0gs @lexisecretaccx @thy-mission @angelic-sturniolos111 @sophssturn @moncherriis @janiellasblog @blahbel668 @meg-sturniolo @mattslolita @sturnbaby @imwetforyourmom @tillies33ssss @sturnifyed @raysmayhem-72 @ripmattitude @p1xieswrld @alorsxsturn @multiluvr @delilahprentiss @tworosesblackthorn @gnxosblog @junnniiieee07 @flowerxbunnie @imaslut4kehlani @sturniolosandmoree @hearrtsturns @freshsturns @etershine @sukiipjs @h3arts4harry @sturnioloblogs @creamoncreamoncream2 @ivyyyyyysposts @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @mbsbaby @mattsdollie @thesturniolos @nononopenono1 @bitchydragonparadise @hrt-attack @dwntwn-strnlo @venusbabysblog @meerkatzthings @bernardsbendystraws @hoes4matthew @deareststurns @starz4star

[ronearoundblindly]

For every cevans who are the ass men and who are the boob men 👀😏 .. maybe there are some who like both equally?

This...did not at all shake out the way I thought it would at first. More of them lean towards the top rather than the bottom, but the one's who like the butt really, really like the butt. I decided to do percentages in order of preference--the formula shows up as % tits / % ass. Warnings for sexual discussion.

A/N: What a bizarre thing to find myself thinking about for HOURS...

Ransom Drysdale 90 / 10

In a word? Jewelry. Now, an expensive necklace laying just in the valley of your breasts is not the only reason Ran prefers this view, but it's the main one.

Jimmy Dobyne 85 / 15

Breeding kink and lactation kink. Sorry. He's a simple man who is deep-down obsessed with your tits getting bigger because of him and what he did to you. This is a man who enjoys getting completely lost in sex (in his own head though, since he's not using a lot of brainpower to check in with you and your needs during the actual act).

Curtis Everett 80 / 20

He's hands-on, and the simple truth is it's easier to have his hands (or mouth) on your breasts during foreplay or missionary, even doggy-style. Curtis enjoys touch far more than he'll admit out loud, so there's also the simple fact that when you hug, he gets more contact with your top than your bottom, or dancing, or sleeping, etc. There is--and I will die on this hill--something deeply primal aroused in him when he sees your bare décolleté. Somehow that is more exposed and naughtier than you wondering around in a bikini. Not sure how to explain that further. Breasts to neck are just his real estate.

Steve Rogers 75 / 25

I mean, the guy was eye-level with them for most of his life, so yeah, Steve's fascinated by tits. He also finds laying on your chest deeply soothing. He likes the soft, sensual side of showing attention to your tits and loves when they're very sensitive. Don't get me wrong; Steve enjoys a well-balanced woman, and he will dote on all of you. He just...really likes playing with your boobs, darn it!

Important note: read that stat as "25% backside" for Steve's delicacy, please. He won't say the other thing...

Andy Barber 70 / 30

The low-key version of Ransom in the sense that for public and work events, Andy would like to show off how gorgeous you are. It's difficult to really highlight the ass without being too risqué, and he'd be far more angry if a bunch of people stared at your backside all night. He's comfortable being envied for your top half, thanks.

Jake Jensen 60 / 40

Purely a numbers game: he is more likely to be flashed than mooned, so Jake is slightly more enamored by the titties. Apart from that, his answer to the question of either/or is "yes."

Johnny Storm 50 / 50

Always changing it up because he's always on the cusp of getting bored, Johnny goes through phases. However, he is equally and actively interesting in both your tits and your ass in a sexual way which is why he gets the actual number percentages, unlike...

James Mace & Bucky Barnes- Indifferent

Slightly different reasons, but at any given time, these two change preferences. Bucky is more emotional and moody in his affection/attention, so depending on the day, he could be wildly into your breasts or your butt. He could also be really into you doting on him. This could all be for nine-million different little experiences that happened in a day or a week. Bucky can't be pinned down as just one thing--partly because he's been several different people in his life.

Mace appreciates that there are esthetically pleasing versions of body parts, that people have different ideals for those, and that it is nice to have one or more of those ideal exist in the relationship. Mace is also practical. Your body will change over time. Hell, his body will definitely change after months in space, so who is he to point out that your ass looked better one way while he loses 30 pounds of muscle between times you seen him? It's not fair and it's not realistic. He just...can't find the energy to care much about this argument. There are more important things that could be an actual problem if they changed, but your body isn't one of them.

[Enormous gap in percentages]

Ari Levinson 10 / 90

I may hate the phrase but Ari is definitely a 'dirty daddy.' He quite likes a nasty, no-holds-barred fuck fest, and those have way more to do with your lower half than your upper half. Something about your ass being his is also more satisfying than any other piece of you. He's a bit possessive that way.

Lloyd Hansen 1 / 99

Boobs can be fake, and unless he is actually fucking your tits, they aren't doing anything for him. Lloyd feeds off of touch sexually, so it's all about that booty bouncing on him or taking him deep or bruising beneath his grip, know what I mean? Yeah, you do, @ellethespaceunicorn.

Thank you for asking!

[Main Masterlist; 'Who Would...' Masterlist; Ko-Fi]

[obeymeshallwedateaddict]

Hey.

First.

I love all your writing, they r fun to read and they make my day brighter ✨✨

Really Appreciate it.

Here is the request:

I wanted to request Solomon

We all know that his an old man ( whom we love so much ) and his based off the character from the Bible king Solomon.

If Solomon having 700 wives were true what would it be like

If MC and Solomon end up arguing over something stupid, MC just goes," Then am one of your collections to ? That's all I am to you! Right" something like that 😭

That line was horrible but something along those lines

It can be angst and fluffy.

Thanks a bunch! Wishing you an amazing day ahead!

Heyyy I absolutely love your request cuz duh. They make Solomon and the others seems like there was nothing before MC which is unlikely. Like I mean I'm pretty sure all of them had a few relationships before MC at some point or another. Anyway. Enjoy!

Author's note: I'll be posting short stories for the next few days since I'm working on a bigger story this time which will take a while. Hope it's not a problem.

Contains: Angst/Fluff

GN!MC x Solomon

You can find more of my work here: Masterlist

---

MC and Solomon had agreed to spend the evening together—just a quiet, uninterrupted night. But Solomon ended up running late, engrossed in some old spell or magical artifact he was researching, losing track of time. By the time he shows up, MC’s already feeling hurt and dismissed, thinking he prioritizes ancient things over their relationship.

MC: arms crossed, eyes narrowed as Solomon finally enters the room “Oh, look who finally decided to show up.”

Solomon: sighs, looking tired but trying to be calm “MC, I told you, I lost track of time. It happens. You know how important my research is.”

MC: “And I thought we were important too, Solomon. I’m not asking for much, just…a single night where I don’t feel like I have to compete with some dusty book or enchanted artifact.”

Solomon: growing defensive, a slight edge to his tone “It’s not a competition, MC. You’re acting like I’m choosing my work over you on purpose.”

MC: voice raising slightly, hurt “Well, that’s how it feels! You make these promises, but when it comes down to it, I’m always the one waiting. Why is it so hard for you to just…be here?”

Solomon: frowning “I’m here now, aren’t I? I don’t see why this has to be such a big deal.”

MC: glares, feeling even more hurt by his dismissive tone “A big deal? Maybe it wouldn’t be if this didn’t keep happening. You say you’re here, but half the time, I feel like I’m just a…just a side note in your never-ending list of priorities.”

Solomon: sighs, crossing his arms defensively “MC, I care about you, but I also have responsibilities—things that existed long before we ever met.”

MC: hurt, finally snapping “Oh, here we go—‘long before we met.’ That’s just it, isn’t it? This isn’t even about tonight; it’s about me realizing that I’ll never be more than one part of your centuries-long collection!”

Solomon: taken aback, not expecting that turn “What? Collection? MC, where is this even coming from?”

MC: “You probably don’t even see it, do you? How easy it is for you to just…move on, like I’m just another person you’re adding to the archive of your life. You’ve had 700 wives, haven’t you? Well, I guess I’m just another one for the record books, huh?”

Solomon: eyes widening in hurt, tone softening as he steps closer “MC, that’s not even fair. Those stories…they’re just stories, memories from lifetimes ago. I don’t know what I’ve done to make you feel like you’re ‘just another one,’ but believe me, you’re not.”

MC: arms crossed, looking away, voice trembling “It just…feels like I’ll never really matter to you. Not when you’ve had hundreds of people pass through your life like it’s nothing.”

Solomon: reaches out, resting a hand on MC’s shoulder, his tone soft and sincere “MC, I know my past seems…well, complicated, but I need you to believe that this is different. You’re not just part of my history. You’re the person I want in my present, and my future.”

MC: sighing, though still a little guarded “Then…show me, Solomon. Prove that I’m more than just a ‘number’ to you.”

Solomon: nodding with a small smile, determined “Every day, if that’s what it takes. I promise.”

[bomber-grl]

Dipper Pines Jealousy Hc!!

Pairing(s): Dipper Pines x Gn!Reader

Goes both ways (e.g. reader being jealous/ dipper being jealous)

Divider Creds ~ @/sweetmelodygraphics,@/cafekitsune

Honestly not even all that jealous outwardly

It’s not obvious to you

he doesn’t tell you anything that would indicate that he’s jealous

If anything he gets insecure over the fact that you’re hanging out with someone else

ESPECIALLY if you hang out with someone else

He sort of just brushes it off and tells himself that he doesn’t need you if you reject his offer to do something nerdy (affectionately)

Then he goes somewhere quiet and does said activity by himself

Pretty lonely

If this continues for several days, Mabel obviously realizes how he feels and tries to push him to tell you

It’s so funny (not actually) because he’ll be all upset and try to act nonchalant when he’s not around you but the instant you two interact and you try asking if he’s ok- he’ll awkwardly and hastily say that he’s fine

And then regret acting that way

Both because he’s embarrassed that he was all sweaty and clammy

and because he does not feel that way whatsoever

Now, if he’s jealous of something minor like someone trying to flirt with you or just slightly whisks your attention away then he’d behave awkwardly too

Just for that small period of time then it’s back to you two chatting again

Let’s focus on the insecure aspect of this

Dipper is used to being undermined or not really being the “first choice”

So when you two get together or just become friends at all really, he’s pretty happy

There aren’t a lot of people that he gets along with or that can keep up with him

(Aside from Mabel ofc )

So when your attention is drawn elsewhere then Dipper sort of isolates (?) himself from you

Like if some person is calling you and you’re with dipper- he’ll just shrug and say you can chat with them then walk away before you could decide anything

He expects you to prefer others over him

As if it weren’t obvious enough- he needs to learn to communicate better

(Especially since the first few weeks of you two dating all he could do was blush and laugh awkwardly)

Eventually you realize because of how obvious it is or because you got hit in the head with a note that was anonymous

Not really, you could tell who it was from by the glitter and stickers on it

So, you of course end up having to climb on the roof where Dipper just had to be

Alls well that ends well because even though dipper is flustered when talking about how he felt and how semi upset he was that you found out through Mabel- things end up being communicated for once

Also you better believe that he’s probably been teased for being jealous at least once by like Mabel

Now let’s say it was reversed

You are the jealous one

And over dipper of all things

When Mabel points it out, dipper doesn’t really believe her

Why would he? She’s a sucker for gossip and romance and is always digging around where she isn’t particularly needed

But when he finds out because you hastily drag him away or show obvious annoyance at someone- then he’s surprised

And he probably lets it go to his head

Just a little

He’s sort of glad you feel that way because it makes him feel valued (oddly enough)

But then he’s sort of confused because he’s literally always hanging w you

(As if he didn’t get his panties in a bunch cuz you would talk to someone who wasn’t him)

Obviously exaggerating

Also mind you, this is him after like days of studying your behavior because he’s a skeptic

he’s as delusional as he is a skeptic over this

Because he also figuratively twirls his hair at the thought that you’d feel that way over him.

Times where Mabel and dipper are awfully similar

He probably gives away that he knows by asking you something along the lines and knows he’s been found out when you shoot him a look

[insert discussion here]

Literally

Though it isn’t really about insecurity or lack of communication

Just that you don’t like something about whatever it was and that’s all

(Honestly depends on you and how jealous you get cuz 👀)

[canadian-riddler]

in this book, one of the main protagonists is a female supersoldier, better than all the other supersoldiers, that two men are madly in love with. no, they aren't fighting over her. they're doing something dumber: they're willing to let the universe end for her.

in this series humans are functionally immortal. everyone's brain is mapped when they turn 18 and if you die, they just print you into a new body. but every time you die, your mind map breaks a little bit. and if it breaks too much, you 'crack' and just scream endlessly until someone kills you. if someone prints you while you're already alive, that cracks you because you can't exist in two places at once.

the supersoldier, of course, is able to fight through being cracked. she refuses to use the map repair software because it changes you. except wait! not for her it doesn't. someone kidnaps her mind and repairs it and she's perfectly fine after.

one of the men who is madly in love with her is a guy whose job it was to torture people until they cracked. except in this book, because he's willing to let the universe end for her, he suddenly starts doing all these good guy things. in the previous two books, it was said he and she were in an abusive relationship, but in THIS book it's revealed he was a terrible person because he got bullied by a teenager when he was seven. the supersoldier this whole time thought that girl he'd been looking for was his sister or something, and when she realises this long-lost disappeared teenager was actually his bully, she beats the shit out of her. because... they're friends now. for some reason. no, there is a reason, and it's that he's obsessed with her and the plot depends on him being obsessed with her, and that's worse.

anyway, the other man who is willing to end the universe for her is also the leader of humanity and grew up rich and sheltered and whatever and they spend half the book in a fight because the people she was brought up with had an honour code where, if their people were murdered, they got to murder the people who committed the murder. he thinks that's stupid and she's basically like 'so you think my culture is stupid?' and some of his soldiers desert because he said their eye-for-an-eye honour code was unnecessary.

and while all THAT is happening, the universe is expanding! cue a bunch of scientists who have very clear specialties suddenly becoming experts in quantum physics! the universe is expanding super fast because supersoldier came back in time to stop the head of humanity from saving the universe because apparently if she doesn't, he'll do something really monstrous to do it. the options are a) crack the supersoldier to stop the universe from expanding or b) mass print a bunch of people full of a specific kind of sentient fungus because the decay of the fungus will stop the universe from expanding. he refuses to do a) because she's already been cracked and he won't hurt her and he can't do b) because if he does, she won't love him anymore and also she'll kill him.

no way out of this one, right?

well, the supersoldier's future self goes and kills the man she's in love with because the antagonist double-prints him in order to crack him in order to hurt the supersoldier. so she prints herself full of fungus and basically makes the fungus help her. and even though it's been SUPER DUPER ESTABLISHED that you CAN'T double-print and if you do this, you will break yourself, guess what.

she prints herself like hundreds of times.

then she goes and somehow controls everything with the help of the fungus. she's hundred-fold printed and therefore hundred-fold cracked, but she's fine. no problems because of the sentient fungus. somehow. anyway, she fixes the problem by herself and then when everyone else is happy and repairing humanity, she goes and lives on the beach with a wolf - which is just about the only animal even mentioned in this series - by herself and tries not to commit suicide.

and THEN. the other man who is madly in love with her is worried she's going to kill herself, so he goes and gets the mind map of the head of humanity, which is the most destroyed map anyone has ever seen, and fixes it. somehow. he says he's really good at breaking people so that must mean he's really good at fixing them. that makes no sense but neither does the end of this book in general.

anyway, a year later the reprinted repaired man goes and finds her on the beach and says they can run away and live life alone together because in the year he was gone, the People who used to work for him have equally divided up his company amongst themselves and he doesn't have to lead them anymore because they've elected their own council. there are four other companies still running the universe the old way, but fuck it. these inexperienced ex-soldiers can surely fix everything and also somehow influence those other companies to follow suit no problem

There is, in fact, a such things as a book that reads like fanfiction. Some people deny such books exist, but you’ll know it when you find one

[moonchild-in-blue]

Can someone please either validate me or send me to the Corner of Shame? This is very silly but I'm wondering.

So. I was talking to my sister the other day about movies and such, and she told me of one she recently watched with this one actor. And I casually mentioned how much I hated him. Not in a "he's a bad actor" or "he's a bad person" way. Nothing to do with whether I find him attractive or not. Just in a "he looks the most punchable guy on earth and I have this irrational rage against him" way, to the point that I just can't watch movies with him without being annoyed.

My sister looked at me like I was crazy because, "what do you mean you hate the guy". And I told her yeah? That's normal? Don't you have at least one person you can't stand for no reason?

Sister was like 😬😬😬 No??? Which is wild to me, because I could easily name 50 (which I did - not 50 but we were getting close to 20 before i got too annoyed lmao).

Now she thinks I'm slightly insane (/j) (I made myself angry and may have referred to a few individuals as "stupid" and "obnoxious"), and I kinda don't believe I am the only person alive who feels this way. But also she's an incredibly empathetic extrovert, while I'm a very low empath socially anxious creechur so. There's that?? I guess ?? Idk.

Can anyone relate to this? Or am I the weird one?

Also wait. Little disclaimer: I am not generally a violent person AT ALL. Do i get annoyed and angry easily? Yeah. Do I feel like bitch slapping someone right across their stupid face? Yeah, sometimes, sure. Do I do something about it? Not really.

I can be real bitchy and extra sarcastic and petty SURE, but that's the most I'll do if I am legitimately angry. Mostly I just go to my room and cry 🥺 (crying when angry yes it me). So yeah. Before yall think I have unsolved anger issues.

[anotherpapercut]

genuinely so many of you want to be leftist and "punk" and countercultural soooooo bad but you refuse to become comfortable with the concept of people taking drugs for fun because they like it and not because they were somehow tricked or forced into it without knowing what they were getting themselves into

you'll be like "addiction is a disease!!" but think you're better than those degenerate stoners because you only drink energy drinks and white claws and would never touch "illegal drugs"

many if not most drugs CAN be consumed completely safely with almost 0 risk to the user and even if that werent true and all drugs were extremely dangerous you still wouldn't be better than those of us who love doing drugs recreationally

lighten up and grow up. get offline, talk to real adults, and stop being shocked to discover that they enjoy doing stuff that adults do like have sex and do drugs and even listen to rock and roll

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Frank! fantasy flavor!

rambles:

i really wanted to blend that monk-class inspiration w/ Frank's personal vibe... i like to think that i Succeeded!

i turned his tie into a sort of brooch since, yk. bowties aren't all that Fantastical. they miss the style. also i think they'd be more comfortable with something smaller since he's very active and needs a wide range of maneuverability

i bet Eddie or someone wheedled them into adding the leather shoulder pauldrons - leather to keep it a bit more flexy, and also. it just looks Cool!

figuring out what would replace his vest was tough. i didn't want them to be entirely unprotected, but i couldn't give him straight armor. though i will admit! a sort of tight-fitting crop top was Considered! but i landed on a gambeson vest as the best fit - comfortable, flexible, a Vest, while providing some level of protection! also, gambesons are quilted, which fits Frank's diamond-checkered vest!

ive already mentioned that one of my favorite outfit things is Flowy Pants Tucked Into Boots, so... that choice wasn't very character driven. except the boots are a tall ankle wrap - for that extra stability and strength! their shoes are pretty flexible and are only a few steps away from being slippers.

and the half-skirt - open skirt? - thing (still don't know what its called) is purely some self indulgence. i think Frank looks great in skirts!! also imagining him Throwing Down w/ the added flair of the skirt... damn. it'd probably help confuse enemies too - what're they gonna do next? who knows! the skirt is in the way and adding extra Movement!

i like to think that his knife is either in a sheath attached to the back of the belt, or they have it on their thigh (under the skirt) like Wally's bag. he probably never uses it... punching is the way to go for Frank methinks. it's probably reserved for cutting ropes and fruit

speaking of punching.... wrist wraps! inspired by boxing gauze! pads his knuckles, keeps his wrist compressed, its the best choice for physical combat. though the wrapped knuckles probably always have blood showing through anyway... or no yeah it's mostly other people's blood...

as for scars - Frank probably has quite the collection! i imagine that they've been picking fights since a young age, and in such a dangerous world he probably got hit a Lot until they learned how to hit back. and hit back Well. still, i wanted to give him a cool face scar with a very lame backstory - a book with a crisp, sharp spine corner fell off a high shelf and bonked them in the face at juuuust the right angle <3 he probably stays very fucking quiet about it which makes everyone think there's some intense traumatic backstory behind it. there isn't. Frank's just embarrassed.

closing note: i imagine that Frank has zero magic. literally none. cannot wield it for shit cannot utilize it. he's just like Howdy fr

[roguemonsterfucker]

Content Warnings: Transphobia, religion, shaming, misgendering, deadnaming, etc etc. Everything you would expect from two people trying to convince a bisexual trans person not to be bisexual and trans.

The context for this is that I had just come out as bisexual on facebook. Not trans/nonbinary. But my aunt and uncle apparently knew I was nonbinary because of my tumblr. I didn't know this at the time, so it was very confusing for them to be talking about trans stuff in regards to my post about being bisexual.

My dad's brother

You are being deceived by the Deceiver; You are being lied to by Satan himself by others who look for dark things in dark places. You are [deadname], created in the image of God, named by your Godly parents. You are created a beautiful female; You are one person, one soul, not they, them or otherwise. There is a man in the bible named Legion who was possessed by demons in Mark chapter 5 that is named so because “we are many” That kind of language is for the demons. The world may tell you its ok to change that, or behave another way. That is not the truth. It is not ok to become something different than what you were created. It’s not ok to change the natural order of our physical beings. People tend to find what they are looking for. Looking for worldly things in dark worldly places will lead you to find darkness. Looking for good and holy things will lead you to the light. Those who walk in the light will find forgiveness; Those who walk in the darkness will find destruction. There is a way out. There is hope out there for you. But you must turn from the darkness and seek the light. Its not too late. We love you and are praying for you. Please let us help you. We’ve all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. We’re not perfect people. If I didn’t care I would just say nothing.

My dad's sister

”A song we’ve sung at church services since I was small goes like this “You never mentioned Him to me, You helped me not the way to see; You met me day by day and knew I was astray, Yet never mentioned Him to me.” Just the thought of hearing anyone I’ve known in my lifetime saying this on Judgement day gives me the courage to reach out. [deadname] I do not even pretend to know what you are going thru but I do know WHO has the answers. I do know who can give you Peace. Don’t you still love the Lord [deadname]? Not even referring just to your recent post, like you were the only niece not interested in any of the family heirloom Bibles. I feel you are turning to the world instead to the Lord. There is only One God. One Creator. 1 Corinthians 8:6 "But we know that there is only one God, the Father, who created everything, and we live for him. And there is only one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom God made everything and through whom we have been given life.” Please look to the Lord for answers not to the world. Maybe you don’t even know where to start - here is a prayer I found: Psalms 25:4-5 “Show me the right path, O LORD; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.” What better way can we start each day than with this prayer. Also a song I love that keeps me centered every day is “My only hope is you Jesus” “from early in the morning til late at night my only hope is you” We all have to spend time in prayer to the Father and time in His inspired Word to know our Father and to learn to love Him and to learn to follow Him. Please [deadname] look to the Lord - please don’t turn from the Only One who has the answer the Only One who can save us.”

What always has struck me as funny about my aunt's message is her mention of the heirloom bibles. When my grandpa died, they started going through all the stuff at his house and giving it out to the family. There was a whole bunch of old ratty bibles that she was offering to nieces. And like... even if I was religious, why would I care about a bunch of bibles I'd never even seen before?

Anyways, feel free to roast these people. I think it's safe to say they aren't stalking this tumblr blog since no one knows about it (except my mom... my mom could find it if she wanted lol). But it is funny to think of my conservative aunt angrily scrolling through pages of werewolf porn.

It's just so ridiculous to me that she spent so much time stalking my old tumblr account. I reblogged things way more than I talked and I don't think she would have the technical know-how to filter my blog to just my original posts. So she HAD to have been scrolling through pages of reblogged fan art and social justice and DnD stuff to find the few posts I wrote myself. And she did this over the course of AT LEAST a year. Why would you even do that to yourself? Why spend so much time reading through a blog full of content that was upsetting to you? Like... why?

To me, that act speaks to malice. It was worth doing because she wanted things to use against me. She wanted evidence that I was "sinning."

She and my uncle don't care about me, they just wanted to feel good about themselves for reaching out to someone who they viewed as lesser than them.

Don’t wanna add it to a post that was meant to be a good story but I can’t get over the fact that my uncle said I had a “beautiful female body” when trying to talk me out of being trans. 😬

Like. I don’t think this uncle is a creep or anything but maybe don’t say that about your brother’s child?

Anyways yeah my dad’s sister and brother stalked my tumblr for years despite my activism there (not this blog) clearly upsetting them. We didn’t know why at the time but they were very cold to me and my family while my grandpa was dying and now I think it’s because of my blog.

My aunt apparently emailed my dad a few times regarding the content of my blog, potentially outing me to my conservative family while I was reliant on them to live.