#I mean I guess this is my own fault
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still supremely disappointed that Jiang Cheng did NOT have a sexy torture dungeon. What a sad miserable time!
All the antis promised me he'd have a super sexy torture dungeon where he tortures poor innocent demonic cultivators to death, and I gotta say, this was a disappointing find to discover there was no torture dungeon.
Or dungeon at all.
#I mean I guess this is my own fault#MY og blorbo tore out the tendons of like 4/6 of his students that HE raised from orphaned childhood#and they all formed a love shifu cult anyway#so I was PRIMED to love a guy who has a maladjusted torture dungeon#anyway#jiang cheng#he's got no torture dungeon and wwx is so sad to discover this#just as sad as me
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yuusha didnāt have anything else to wear soš„
#girl stop looking at me like that#the way i draw yuushaās braid so inconsistently#anyways uhhhhh#unintentional sequel to my jamil art this morning???#or honestly this can be considered a totally separate incident#make up your own conclusions i guess because i dont know myself š#i just wanted to draw her in jamilās sweater ššŖ#[āā¦-#-ā§ my art#twst art#twisted wonderland#twst#twst yuu#twst yuusona#(š) yuusha#-ā¦ā]#also-#itās daylight savings here#which means our clock went back one hour#im eepy but cant eep#but also it may be because i steeped my tea for longer than i shouldve#my heart is. palpitating#(and the coffee this morning prob also contributed uhhhhh)#this is all jadeās fault#iām FINE yall can ignore this fjdndjsj#lil lore update by me
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i hate hate hate hate hate so much when people take you forgetting things as caring less about them or whatever it is you forgot not having meaning to you "enough" to remember
i forget things that mean the world to me all the fucking time like i'm sorry i'm just like this
#txt#sortofa vent ig#just popped in my head and sent me on agony lane#or even 'if it meant enough to you you'd set a reminder'#guess what#i forgot to do that too#because of the same shit#i have mega trauma brain my mind just dumps shit all the time and the important things go with it#and nobody understands how much i wish i wasnt like this#i dont need ppl holding it against me outside myself as well as if i hate them or never really care#I DO CARE#I CARE TOO MUCH IN FACT#EMPATHETIC TO MY OWN DETRIMENT#CARING TO A FAULT#its a balancing act im still working on#ok now its a real vent but nobody's done this to me recently i dont think so#smiles#peace signs#explodes#also also i dont mean 'im just like this' as in i dont try to fix it#i do#but its also like what can i do when i forget to remember#forget to remind myself to remember#which i already do and it works in some cases but not all
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I absolutely HATE when people see their favourite character making a bad decision/messing up/having questionable morals in a fic and go
āthatās not my sweet little -name- theyāre perfect and canāt do any wrong and this fic is now horrible because I donāt agree with how you wrote the charactersā
like your right thatās not your sweet little -name- itās theirs!! Itās the person who wrote the bloody fics characterisation and if you donāt like it then donāt read it omg
#also characters making bad decisions does not reflect the authors morals#and please for fucks sake stop saying that because they can write characters that believe immoral things means that they must believe that#some people just have an imagination#and are good at writing#but I donāt expect you to know what thatās like if thatās what you come to after reading something#itās made up!! fiction!!! fake!!!!#this may or may not be because of a TikTok comment section#I have so many angry rants in my drafts because of tiktok comment sections#I could just not open them#but I do every time#itās my fault#i guess#but not my fault people are stupid#thatās there own#marauders#marauders era#fanfiction#fanfic#characterisation#marauders fandom#the video might have been on choices just a little bit#so you can imagine the comments#i havenāt read it#but isnāt the whole point that people make good and bad and questionable CHOICES??#yk like the fucking name of the fic??#no? idk#mcd scares me#jegulus#choices#regulus black
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Or- another thought, Phantom trying out a grinder, one of those that are so soft that it's gentle on his sensitive cock, and if it has a vibrator with it you just know he's melting
I'll see myself out now
once again thanks to the man the myth the freak /lovingly legend @divine-misfortune for having a massive brain with ideas fhshhfhdhf
oh just imagine dhdhfhd Phantom sitting on it and slowly starting grind down. its amazing. with how soft the silicone is against their sensitive little cock, combined with how cool the lube is, its probably the only relief they've gotten all day. Phantom starts to think that they should book a check up with Aether or Omega about the pain but then they remember the remote control to turn on the vibration and the thought is quickly forgotten. all thoughts empty out of their head and all they can think about is how good they feel. they cant help the moans that escape their lips and honestly they dont care how loud they could be being right now. they can feel their clit throbbing as they grind it against the ridged surface of the toy. words start falling from their lips without them even realising it.
"please, Dew. please let me cum. ive been good just let me cum. Dew, please."
they repeat it like a mantra, speaking it out into their empty room as they get closer and closer to the edge. their body seizes up, hands gripping their bedsheets so hard their claws tear them, and they cum with Dew's name on their tongue. and now the sensations are too much. they scramble for the remote to turn the vibration off and flop onto their back, realising they had just begged Dew to cum when he wasnt even there... the realisation gives them an odd feeling. the shame they feel is overwhelming but they also cant deny that it doesnt turn them on juuuust a little bit for reasons they cant explain. something to think about later, they decide as they start to clean themself up
#phantom ghoul#cw forcemasc#i guess? i mean this one doesnt actually include any of it but its still part of the same idea fhshhfhd#anyway theres more to this one if anyone is interested teehee it gets weirder :3#also any inaccuracies are my own fault i am Very inexperienced with everything ever ghshbfhdbf
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It really is a shame that the only sonic games I can think of where silver had a prominent role in the plot are arguably the two worst games in recent memory: 06 and forces
Idk much about him yet but I get the feeling bro deserves better
#āhe was in generations tooā as a miniboss and sidelines supporter with ten other guys#I mean actually involved in the plot as himself not as a generic part of a friend group#<- not hating on generations or that ending I thought it was all very cute#you know what i mean#btw I think this is a case of#correlation does not equal causation#just because the games he has a major role in are ass doesnāt mean itās his fault I donāt think#I think itās just an unfortunate coincidence#if anything silvers inclusion in forces was one of the nicer parts of the game for me!#and considering how many fans he has despite being from 06 im guessing he was pretty good there too#I hope he has a major role in a good mainline sonic game someday#or hell give him his own game!#Iām now chatting with my brother about how an open world silver game would be fire#sonic#sth#silver the hedgehog
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ughhhhhhhhh Iām gonna fail my lab practical tomorrow
#college#complaining yeah#how does one. have motivation to do schoolwork#I feel like I had everything so together in high school#straight A student/semi-popular at my theater/got to sit with a few friends at lunch and study hall and in class#and I was drawing! and helping in other ways! and everything!#everything.#too much āeverythingā can add up after 4 years or so.#4 years of doing my absolute best and getting rewarded for it#things are different. things have changed.#aged out of theater. donāt see anyone from school anymore.#and I know itās my fault#I know I need to reach out more#I have reached out#somethingās happening#I feel like Iām ruining my own life#Iām ruining everything.#all because I canāt bring myself to care anymore.#I just canāt.#sorry I.#didnāt mean for this to turn into a vent post.#idk if anyoneās even going to read this.#thanks I guess. um. /gen haha#ā¦#yeahā¦ yeah.
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This is what I get for getting my hopes up

#i really thought we stood a chance i really did#god#Iām so fucking upset#it feels like cancellation day all over again#my own fault I guess#shouldnāt have let myself believe weād be saved#ofmd#our flag means death
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#feeling really lonely lately and idk why#i mean i guess this is what 5 years of complete isolation do to ya lol#but yeah... sometimes it hits me that i don't really have friends (my fault obvs) and i just sit here with no idea how to change that lol#cause i have the curse of being ok while i'm alone and feeling incredibly anxious when i'm with people#so i convince myself that i'm better alone#and i am for the most part#but then 5 years since the last time i met someone that wasn't my mom or my brother go by and i go ''hmm... i don't think this is healthy''#and i spiral into a pit of dispair#like i can't believe that my highschool years when i was an absolute emo ''i hate everybody and everybody hates me'' kind of dude#were healthier than now#because i had online friends whom i talked to for hours about just random shit#and i met incredible people in uni but i haven't talked to them in literally i'm gonna say 5 years?#and the fact that they live 3hs away doesn't help but still#and i fully know I'M the problem#cause i isolate myself and i don't text and i don't hang out when they arrange hang outs#(again being 3hs away. relying on public transport and not feeling comfortable going out at night don't help..)#but also i put waaaayyyy too much pressure on this so that doesn't help at all#and i'm waaaay to awkward and self depricating to even attempt to have a meaningful friendship with anyone...#so i'm left here (by my own actions) alone and sad lol#i might be getting my period btw so maybe that's why i want to die today#but yeah... it's been in my head for a while now and i wanted to get it out so i can move the fuck on#if only i could be a normal person... sigh#angel talks#personal
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sighhhhhh this beautiful sound
this shit's how we've been feeling. like the instruments, that floaty numb cold feeling but still PAINFULLY borderline aware but unable to like yknow ENJOY?
all we've got left is media. and even that's starting to stop doing anything.
but what the fuck can we do, yknow?
each time this happens it's just so god awful.
and it just keeps happening, over and over and over, with less and less breaks between.
what if one day I can't get out of it?
what if one day we're just stuck numb and cold forever?
what if one day all we'll feel is this numbness and the sadness and the rage?
what then? will anyone be there?
will anyone care?
will we just be alone?
why would we stick around then, huh?
we're already basically friendless.
who's gonna wanna be friends when we have no personality, hell, no existence or REALITY left?
who's gonna wanna be in our fucking vicinity when we're nothing anymore?
that feeling like drowning.
we're ALWAYS drowning.
just brought up for air to get plunged back into the ice cold water for another round.
how long until we don't get brought back up?
#welcome to the island of misfit toys#you say the whole world ended. honey it already did.#Patrick posting#the clowns are rambling instead of dancing#random posts#mental health vent#vent post#sorry for venting#it's just... happening again. yayyy..#and yknow all of you can say you care you can mean it. but I'll still fear for us the day we have nothing left to give#the day we can't be just... this anymore#i guess we'll just try to treasure whatever we have left while we still do. yknow. before the last bit of us dies#i hate my role here. sure i exist for a reason. wanna know what it fucking is?#I'm a sponge. I'm a fucking SPONGE. I'm only here to absorb all of that NEGATIVE SHIT that we can't handle.#it just FEEDS into my own mental health. and then I feel like the prick for what the fucking BRAIN created me to DO.#I'M IN HELL. and I'm there FOREVER because it's all I EXIST to do. I exist to SUFFER FOR EVERYONE ELSE.#and i dont blame the others. it isn't their fault.#but GOD am i tired of fucking venting. I'm tired of making these posts. I'm tired of these feelings.#I'm tired of being the sponge for this fucking mess. i just wanna be happier for like... yknow a week. nothing crazy.#just some time where we feel GOOD. really GENUINELY good. not fake good. not masking. REAL good. REAL joy.#mlandersen0 fictive#sorry for being depressing#sorry for the vent
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I am alone at Engelberg (i try to do things on my own so that I don't miss out on anything I love just bc nobody is coming with me). Normally this isn't a problem like I was alone in oslo too. But today is weird bc of the delays and stuff. I hate to start interacting with people and now I'm sitting all alone in the tent š
#i mean it is my own fault#hopefully i find some people who look nice#also find someone who could be interested in autographs be#bc you guessed it#i hate asking jumpers for stuff
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just finished Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, and it is a game written by cowards for cowards.
the final twist genuinely ruins the game. it's so stupid as a narrative decision. i hate it so much. it almost makes me understand what the people yelling about The Last Jedi being too subservient to its themes were yelling about (OBVIOUSLY not the ones that were being bigoted and loud and wrong about it, but just the ones who had actual issues with its narrative directions/execution). genuinely, the twist takes what could have been an extremely solid 8.5, maybe a 9/10 game down to a 4/10 game with nothing of interest to say deluding itself into thinking it's saying anything of worth by thoughtlessly repeating patterns as if that's supposed to generate meaning without any real effort of actually committing to that meaning, or seeing the world as anything beyond its basic binary worldview of Good and Bad.
putting that twist in fundamentally cuts the legs out from any actual, interesting and substantive critique it could have leveled at the legal system and our feelings about people on trial and their perceived guilt or innocence, and it just ends up reinforcing it as a power of good that Will Ultimately Prevail In The Search For Truth, as if that is even remotely a thing any legal system is concerned with, especially the one in the game that mostly just stumbles into The Right Choices because it's a game controlled by the player. it's frankly ideologically incoherent to the point of saying nothing because its critique is unfocused and toothless. best it can muster is "maybe some people are corrupt and lying, but if You take Advantage of The System, you can beat them" as if malicious compliance is supposed to change the system. fuck off.
ran out of tags but. i'm serious about this lol, i really hate it as a narrative and ideological choice. the game threatens to say something bold and interesting and then just pulls the rug out from underneath you. it sucks. it's very much like 12 Angry Men in that way, i think, except at least that movie Knows what it's saying and that its basic premise is its ideological downfall, this just doesn't really feel like it says anything much interesting or coherent, ultimately, because the criticism either drowns in the length and comedic nature of it, or just ultimately isn't focused and pointed and nuanced enough to actually say something meaningful. like ik someone's gonna do a "kid's game" thing but hello, kid's shit has always been nuanced and just bc it's "for kids" doesn't mean it has to abide by some binary ass morality that flattens all its interesting critique, especially when you're constantly led, structurally, to the more interesting and nuanced narrative choice only to have a twist completely ruin it and making it all feel like a waste of your time. plenty of things are nuanced and interesting and "for kids" without deflating their themes and messages by writing a stupid twist that undercuts the interesting parts of its arguments.
#james talks#people will probably be mad about this one but i'm Wright about it. Phoenix Wright.#sorry. had to be done. making up for the lack of pun names and jokes in the last case.#anyway i'm so serious when i say it's a cowardly narrative direction that just completely undercuts the whole fucking pointā#it was trying to make about the ways the legal systems of Japan are set up to encourage only closing cases by any means necessary#like it just literally doesn't make even half the point bc guess what? Ema just isn't actually responsible.#so you don't have to have any remotely complicated feelings about the justice system. it WILL get the perpetrators at the end.#Edgeworth? didn't do it. Ema? didn't do it. you don't ever have to have complicated feelings about working with people.#sorry i just REALLY fucking hate this choice so immensely i am more filled with rage the more i think about it#apparently this is a actual tag so.#Ace Attorney critical#resisting tagging this with the main game tag bc i don't wanna hear spoilers for the other games.#or hear annoying fans bitching about my correct take in my asks.#in case it wasn't obvious i am serious about the take but i am also still processing.#probably have slightly more nuanced thoughts when i've heard more opinions from other people and seen their takes.#i already know someone's gonna make some bullshit argument about believing in the good in people and how that makes sense but.#getting a charge of guilty literally is a failstate in this. your client and associates can never Actually Be Guilty of anythingā#besides some light corruption. the twist about Lana not being a murderer is fine. it works bc it's clever.#but Ema not being a murderer is shit bc it completely ruins the promise the whole thing sets up. like sure Lana still goes to prison atā#the end but we can't dwell on that at all or feel anything but happy bc it's the last note of the game. so they have to make Ema not guilty#did it ever cross their minds they could've bonded again in prison?#like if you're sending Lana to prison anyway. just send Ema in with her. she can still be guilty of the thing and you can actually makeā#more interesting critique of the system as abusing people who have no other choice instead of themā#Being Wronged Through No Fault Of Their Own as if they're innocent little toddlers with no control of anything. like with Edgeworth thatā#narrative choice was more acceptable bc he was like 9 years old. Ema was 14. what the fuck are we talking about.#i'm not saying being 14 means she should hang or whatever like she was still a teen but they could've written her to be guiltyā#but not A Murderer in a million different ways and they chose the most annoying and cowardly path bcā#it promises to be interesting and nuanced and then just completely flips you off right at the finish lineā#as if your interest in its commentary and what it Wants To Say was too much investment as if they didn't spend 80% of the game doing that#by making you commit crimes to save people (Phoenix admits lawyers aren't supposed to investigate so 90% of the evidence is illegal)
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Had a discussion with my parents yesterday about how horrible my thesis is going. When I left my mum was just like 'it will work out at some point'. Which is what I've been telling myself for the better part of one and a half years now. At some point it starts feeling more like a lie than anything else.
#i mean it's fine#my parents can afford it thankfully#but im gonna have to pay for my own insurance come march#and my mother too because shes not working at the moment#and like i dont want to put them under so much pressure?#but i also can't do this any faster#because for once its not actually my fault but just the 'circumstances'#its horrible and every day i struggle to go on#so just life i guess....#newt news
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Iām like unreasonably annoyed that my usual tram that I get isnāt running so I have to get another tram which takes the exact same amount of time but I have to go IN to the middle of the city and walk through it instead of avoiding it which I usually can
#for Melbourne people this means walking through Bourke st mall and Elizabeth.#literally the worst place to be#I live in the city though so itās my own silly fault I guess
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You ever read a fic that realllly needed a higher rating
#THAT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN T#T MEANS TEEN#TEEEEEEN AS IN TEENAGERS AS IN 13-19#ISH#not to mention the G one that was... definitely more T#I guess itās my own fault#I wanted something romantic#but not like... THAT AGH#had to abandon ship/skim very quickly past parts#oof#rambles from the floor
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itās genuinely jarring listening to gamer men speak to each other
#fuck u mean āi miss u puppyā ????#FUCK U MEAN āI LOVE U SO BAD BABYGIRLā#HUHHHHHHH#thatās not even half the shit i canāt do this#honestly itās my own fault idk why i put these streams as my background noise but itās comforting#iām comforted by the weird and the toxic i guess LMAO#whack#ā miki talks
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