#I mean I guess this is my own fault
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still supremely disappointed that Jiang Cheng did NOT have a sexy torture dungeon. What a sad miserable time!
All the antis promised me he'd have a super sexy torture dungeon where he tortures poor innocent demonic cultivators to death, and I gotta say, this was a disappointing find to discover there was no torture dungeon.
Or dungeon at all.
#I mean I guess this is my own fault#MY og blorbo tore out the tendons of like 4/6 of his students that HE raised from orphaned childhood#and they all formed a love shifu cult anyway#so I was PRIMED to love a guy who has a maladjusted torture dungeon#anyway#jiang cheng#he's got no torture dungeon and wwx is so sad to discover this#just as sad as me
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yuusha didn’t have anything else to wear so💥
#girl stop looking at me like that#the way i draw yuusha’s braid so inconsistently#anyways uhhhhh#unintentional sequel to my jamil art this morning???#or honestly this can be considered a totally separate incident#make up your own conclusions i guess because i dont know myself 😔#i just wanted to draw her in jamil’s sweater 😔💪#[—✦-#-✧ my art#twst art#twisted wonderland#twst#twst yuu#twst yuusona#(💜) yuusha#-✦—]#also-#it’s daylight savings here#which means our clock went back one hour#im eepy but cant eep#but also it may be because i steeped my tea for longer than i shouldve#my heart is. palpitating#(and the coffee this morning prob also contributed uhhhhh)#this is all jade’s fault#i’m FINE yall can ignore this fjdndjsj#lil lore update by me
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Or- another thought, Phantom trying out a grinder, one of those that are so soft that it's gentle on his sensitive cock, and if it has a vibrator with it you just know he's melting
I'll see myself out now
once again thanks to the man the myth the freak /lovingly legend @divine-misfortune for having a massive brain with ideas fhshhfhdhf
oh just imagine dhdhfhd Phantom sitting on it and slowly starting grind down. its amazing. with how soft the silicone is against their sensitive little cock, combined with how cool the lube is, its probably the only relief they've gotten all day. Phantom starts to think that they should book a check up with Aether or Omega about the pain but then they remember the remote control to turn on the vibration and the thought is quickly forgotten. all thoughts empty out of their head and all they can think about is how good they feel. they cant help the moans that escape their lips and honestly they dont care how loud they could be being right now. they can feel their clit throbbing as they grind it against the ridged surface of the toy. words start falling from their lips without them even realising it.
"please, Dew. please let me cum. ive been good just let me cum. Dew, please."
they repeat it like a mantra, speaking it out into their empty room as they get closer and closer to the edge. their body seizes up, hands gripping their bedsheets so hard their claws tear them, and they cum with Dew's name on their tongue. and now the sensations are too much. they scramble for the remote to turn the vibration off and flop onto their back, realising they had just begged Dew to cum when he wasnt even there... the realisation gives them an odd feeling. the shame they feel is overwhelming but they also cant deny that it doesnt turn them on juuuust a little bit for reasons they cant explain. something to think about later, they decide as they start to clean themself up
#phantom ghoul#cw forcemasc#i guess? i mean this one doesnt actually include any of it but its still part of the same idea fhshhfhd#anyway theres more to this one if anyone is interested teehee it gets weirder :3#also any inaccuracies are my own fault i am Very inexperienced with everything ever ghshbfhdbf
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It really is a shame that the only sonic games I can think of where silver had a prominent role in the plot are arguably the two worst games in recent memory: 06 and forces
Idk much about him yet but I get the feeling bro deserves better
#“he was in generations too” as a miniboss and sidelines supporter with ten other guys#I mean actually involved in the plot as himself not as a generic part of a friend group#<- not hating on generations or that ending I thought it was all very cute#you know what i mean#btw I think this is a case of#correlation does not equal causation#just because the games he has a major role in are ass doesn’t mean it’s his fault I don’t think#I think it’s just an unfortunate coincidence#if anything silvers inclusion in forces was one of the nicer parts of the game for me!#and considering how many fans he has despite being from 06 im guessing he was pretty good there too#I hope he has a major role in a good mainline sonic game someday#or hell give him his own game!#I’m now chatting with my brother about how an open world silver game would be fire#sonic#sth#silver the hedgehog
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ughhhhhhhhh I’m gonna fail my lab practical tomorrow
#college#complaining yeah#how does one. have motivation to do schoolwork#I feel like I had everything so together in high school#straight A student/semi-popular at my theater/got to sit with a few friends at lunch and study hall and in class#and I was drawing! and helping in other ways! and everything!#everything.#too much “everything” can add up after 4 years or so.#4 years of doing my absolute best and getting rewarded for it#things are different. things have changed.#aged out of theater. don’t see anyone from school anymore.#and I know it’s my fault#I know I need to reach out more#I have reached out#something’s happening#I feel like I’m ruining my own life#I’m ruining everything.#all because I can’t bring myself to care anymore.#I just can’t.#sorry I.#didn’t mean for this to turn into a vent post.#idk if anyone’s even going to read this.#thanks I guess. um. /gen haha#…#yeah… yeah.
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This is what I get for getting my hopes up
#i really thought we stood a chance i really did#god#I’m so fucking upset#it feels like cancellation day all over again#my own fault I guess#shouldn’t have let myself believe we’d be saved#ofmd#our flag means death
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#feeling really lonely lately and idk why#i mean i guess this is what 5 years of complete isolation do to ya lol#but yeah... sometimes it hits me that i don't really have friends (my fault obvs) and i just sit here with no idea how to change that lol#cause i have the curse of being ok while i'm alone and feeling incredibly anxious when i'm with people#so i convince myself that i'm better alone#and i am for the most part#but then 5 years since the last time i met someone that wasn't my mom or my brother go by and i go ''hmm... i don't think this is healthy''#and i spiral into a pit of dispair#like i can't believe that my highschool years when i was an absolute emo ''i hate everybody and everybody hates me'' kind of dude#were healthier than now#because i had online friends whom i talked to for hours about just random shit#and i met incredible people in uni but i haven't talked to them in literally i'm gonna say 5 years?#and the fact that they live 3hs away doesn't help but still#and i fully know I'M the problem#cause i isolate myself and i don't text and i don't hang out when they arrange hang outs#(again being 3hs away. relying on public transport and not feeling comfortable going out at night don't help..)#but also i put waaaayyyy too much pressure on this so that doesn't help at all#and i'm waaaay to awkward and self depricating to even attempt to have a meaningful friendship with anyone...#so i'm left here (by my own actions) alone and sad lol#i might be getting my period btw so maybe that's why i want to die today#but yeah... it's been in my head for a while now and i wanted to get it out so i can move the fuck on#if only i could be a normal person... sigh#angel talks#personal
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i really need to finish this one day
#one of my fave ideas but i keep getting stuck or starting over. third time's the charm hopefully#anyways. posting it as an excuse to rant because i'm losing my mind over this rn for no reason#incoherent but i just need to Talk or my brain won't shut up#you ever think about how fucked up it is that aoi feels guilty over what happened. i do. i think about her a lot#he can't even look at me. we aren't even blood related but he still had to go to jail because of me. i still love him#in reality none of it is her fault. it shouldn't be about doumeki in the first place. baby girl you were 15 when it happened.#you can say that yashiro is cruel in his dismissiveness (on the surface) of doumeki's trauma but you can see where he's coming from#you got a glimpse of what your sister was going through? of what i went through? and now you're sooo guilty over it? and who does it help?#doumeki's so focused on his own feelings that he ignored aoi when they were living together. “saves” her by pure chance#proceeds to focus on his guilt and ignore her again. if yashiro didn't get involved she'd be sitting in the rain for god knows how long#yet she still loves and to some degree idolizes him#yashiro and aoi both saying that doumeki isn't the type of person to be a yakuza too. doumeki's good doumeki's better than that#and then ch 24 happens. where yashiro says that he's going to throw up and doumeki's response is “i probably won't stop even if you do”#“guess i am like my father after all” and yashiro still goes “you're not. you're pure and im the problem”#(touches doumeki's face. rare gentle gesture. he's gentle afterwards too before leaving. man.)#he's not cruel enough to repeat what he said in the earlier conversation and he doesn't actually believe it anyway#but i wish yashiro was cruel there. it shouldn't have been about doumeki and his feelings. again.#something about yashiro throwing a knife at another person and it flying back at him huh#for all the talk about how doumeki supposedly romanticizes yashiro it really is the other way around. always has been#which is a whole other conversation but yeah. everything about aoi and yashiro in relation to doumeki makes me so fucking sad#but this is also what i mean when i say that aoi doesn't haunt the narrative per se but still has this weird presence?#she's in the parallels. she's in the brief but important mentions. she's in the “your sister was lucky she had you”.#wips tag
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You know you have a problem when you start RELATING to the song Waving Through A Window
#lol just wrote the sentence 'everyone gets sick of him eventually' and started spiralling because it hit too close to home#because my friend didnt text me back and because a different friend who I was always with walked into my common room said hi and ignored me#and don't get me wrong she was talking about me behind my back so I am trying to distance myself but fuck it hurt#im so tired of everyone getting sick of me#but i know its my own fault so i guess I can't complain#my social anxiety is so severe at the moment that i can't really handle much social interaction anyway#and I can't stop crying because I'm so sick of feeling this way#and i have my writing workshop tomorrow and I'm really scared#and the one person I want to talk to didn't text me back so now I'm scared to ask her for help#because I'm also riddled with guilt every time I go to her for help and I'm convinced she views me as a burden#BUT I MEAN THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE I'LL JUST COOK MY BURGER AND CALL IT A DAY#pls ignore this#personal#rambles#ramblings
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why is she in there crying and feeling sorry for herself. why is it always my fault even when i’m the one desperate for help. why is it like this
#i didn’t even do anything#i felt upset and left to go lay down and now somehow it’s my fault she’s crying#i don’t know what i did#i can’t even have my own feelings if it means slightly inconveniencing someone#i guess if i’m that much of a burden i should just die#all i do is cause problems i guess#snow.txt
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Had a discussion with my parents yesterday about how horrible my thesis is going. When I left my mum was just like 'it will work out at some point'. Which is what I've been telling myself for the better part of one and a half years now. At some point it starts feeling more like a lie than anything else.
#i mean it's fine#my parents can afford it thankfully#but im gonna have to pay for my own insurance come march#and my mother too because shes not working at the moment#and like i dont want to put them under so much pressure?#but i also can't do this any faster#because for once its not actually my fault but just the 'circumstances'#its horrible and every day i struggle to go on#so just life i guess....#newt news
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#shout out to my nana for saying my dad spends money like water#my dad who struggles with the idea of spending money bc of obsessive compilation thoughts but is making an effort#bc whats the point of saving up all your life just to die. nana? my dad whose wife is literally dying of cancer and is beginning to circle#the drain so hes deciding he wants to start spending his retirement money now while shes still alive. u old witch. Jesus christ. my mum#isnt gonna live forever. shes getting her bladder removed in February i think. imo ill just b happy if she lives past the end of my 5year#program. like holy fuck. i mean. its not really nanas fault. she probably has 0cd and probably has 0cpd. but like this is y u wanna try to#get better. so you dont grow into a miserable old fuck whose family hates u bc ur awful and killing ur husband thru ur illness. just saying#as someone whose can see their own behaviors mirrored in her. this is y i cant go on like this lol#hopefully i hit my rock bottom last year. ugh. i just wish i could sleep. when im not super depressed i cant seem to get a normal amount of#sleep and im exhausted all afternoon. im awake at night and early in the morning. it makes me nauseous too. insomnia i guess#but ive always slept rather little. maybe it was compulsive and now im just old and cant take it#hate it. wish it would stop but at least i dont feel like dying anymore i guess. im guessing the meds r exacerbating thr sleep issues if not#causing it. ugh symptom management i guess#unrelated
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I’m like unreasonably annoyed that my usual tram that I get isn’t running so I have to get another tram which takes the exact same amount of time but I have to go IN to the middle of the city and walk through it instead of avoiding it which I usually can
#for Melbourne people this means walking through Bourke st mall and Elizabeth.#literally the worst place to be#I live in the city though so it’s my own silly fault I guess
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You ever read a fic that realllly needed a higher rating
#THAT SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN T#T MEANS TEEN#TEEEEEEN AS IN TEENAGERS AS IN 13-19#ISH#not to mention the G one that was... definitely more T#I guess it’s my own fault#I wanted something romantic#but not like... THAT AGH#had to abandon ship/skim very quickly past parts#oof#rambles from the floor
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it’s genuinely jarring listening to gamer men speak to each other
#fuck u mean ‘i miss u puppy’ ????#FUCK U MEAN ‘I LOVE U SO BAD BABYGIRL’#HUHHHHHHH#that’s not even half the shit i can’t do this#honestly it’s my own fault idk why i put these streams as my background noise but it’s comforting#i’m comforted by the weird and the toxic i guess LMAO#whack#– miki talks
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#okay will this is bullshjt because I swear I was good about taking my t this month and I still got my period#like if I missed days it was only a couple#not fair frankly#I got my blood work done this morning and period tonight so idk what the results are gonna say lol#but whether the doc says to up dose or not I gotta ask about bc#cuz I want a backup to not start bleeding#I don’t wanna have to take a pill tbh and can’t get an iud#maybe the shot? idk#I’ve heard mixed reviews for every single method it’s too fucked up#I mean I guess at least I’m not worried about getting pregnant that’d make this even more stressful#this just makes me hate myself because it is a prison of my own making#if I took t more perfectly this wouldn’t be happening#so ultimately it is my fault and I can’t complain#but I’d like to complain anyway
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