literally took my dumbass until today to realize that the s1 finale is a direct parallel to “the dalek” in that the doctor ‘loses’ rose and decides to betray his usual code because “I lost her once. I can’t do it again” only for him to think in the finale that she’s really gone (cut to the pile of ashes he falls dramatically onto and holds in his hands) and THAT’S why he sends her off in the TARDIS, that’s why he has that look on his face. he can’t bear the thought of losing her, he knows he’s going to die. but he sends her back, not just because he loves her (duh, she’s the ‘woman he loves,’) but because he lost her once that day. and he’s not doing it again.
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martin is done serving tea. now, he serves c*nt (i feel bad saying the c word as an american. the american version would be saying that he serves premium american boy pussy with a side of freedom but I'm not sure if that fits the vibe I'm going for)
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Here's another adorable mini moment (Heartstopper S1E6). Tao has just asked, "So...we're ordering a second round, right?"
As the gif shows, the group agrees, and Nick says, "Yeah, I mean, we can go and get them if you want."
Taking a closer look at this:
Nick says "we" can go and get them without specifying who "we" is, and it wasn't obvious from the preceding conversation. So not only is Nick just casually lumping Charlie in with himself, he's also assuming that everyone else will understand that Charlie is the rest of his "we".
Nick didn't even non-verbally check with Charlie before making this offer, that's how strong his assumption (or hopeful confidence) is that Charlie will be okay both with being part of the "we" and with being volunteered by Nick to fetch the milkshakes together.
Perhaps the best part of all of this is Charlie's reaction:
He does a quick double-take at Nick with a little smile sneaking in, and then he tries his very best to not get stuck on what has just happened and to remain casual in front of the group.
Charlie's slightly delayed "yeah" of confirmation to the group that he and Nick will get the milkshakes is pretty convincingly nonchalant, but it's still clearly trying to be nonchalant, basically saying, "Yeah, whatever, just gonna go get the milkshakes with Nick who volunteered 'us', no big deal".
Honourable mention of additional cuteness:
After Tao's question about ordering a second round, Nick and Charlie instinctively look at each other to coordinate their responses. They quickly look away though, possibly because they've realised they "shouldn't" be checking in about their answers (especially in front of Tao and Elle who don't (yet) know that Nick and Charlie are on a date).
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one thing i am really noticing on this rewatch is how long it takes for silver to start looking like silver. seeing him in (especially in the early part of) s1 always feels so jarring to me idk why but with everyone else already having their Look down (character driven style pivots of flint and eleanor nonwithstanding) he still feels very Unformed.
idk if thats just me on my nth rewatch projecting my foregone conclusions and opinions abt him as a character on him but i do think even w the change he undergoes being a very gradual one (unlike the previously mentioned pivot of eleanor from Pirate Boss to Ladywife or flints buzzcut of grief and political radicalisation), there is a definitive period where he is not yet locked in, so to speak.
i think what gets me as 'not silver yet' is him being clean shaven and that he wears light colours but genuinely. thats a chameleon still deciding which colour to turn while it watches the room and once hes decided with whom to side he commits not only to a 'personality' but also to a wardrobe style which in his case is first unassuming dark clothes and growing his hair and beard and then slowly bit by bit hes adding details like necklaces and rings and starts wearing his hair differently etc until he ends in his Coat Era once he starts to assume real power as he begins the transformation from 'john silver' into 'long john silver'
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bbc merlin - 03x08 The Eye of the Phoenix
the difference between the guy who is well into his "arthur is a prat...or is he" journey and the guy who just started that same journey
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tbh didnt really like how bisma's arc about her relationship to her headscarf was handled. Her braider was completely out of line and not challenged on it. There was this constant idea that being black and being muslim were separate. That she was exploring other parts of herself when being muslim and black isnt an experience that you can take apart like that. It seems to indicate that theres one way to be black and it involves being visibly less muslim and i think if we were shown more of a black muslim community around bisma and better rep of black muslims in we are lady parts this idea would be very obviously shown to be wrong in the show.
to be clear i dont think bisma having an arc around showing her hair more is bad, or even tieing it with wanting to wear braids like the black women around her or for any other reason, but the way its set up 'tobi, i'm muslim' 'yeah but we're black too', just sets up this idea of two parts of an identity in conflict with each other which doesnt speak to the way black muslim communities have tied their religion and culture together in such beautiful ways and i wish that was being represented on this show.
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I think there’s a remarkable way in which the isekai doomed villain aspects of my next life as a villainess and the bisexual harem aspects gel together to create a metaphor for queer childhood. to me the most interesting way to view katerina is as a girl who is convinced from a young age that people around her are eventually going to subject her to a fate beyond her control and she’s going to be cast out, and this colors her entire perception of the world around her.
it feels very gay experience (though ofc not universal) to be like i have to overcorrect for the fact that one day everyone is going to hate me and exile me for something i can't help through being so kind and helpful to them. i have to heal everyone around me. or i will DIE. they will KILL ME. i need to make myself essential to the people around me because something is inherently wrong with me that only i know about. and then of course she self-conceives what is in large part her earnest desire to help the people around her as like "i am masterminding a dastardly plan to change my fate" (read: feelings of duplicity and monstrousness as a gay child).
i also think there’s a way in which her revelation of her past life’s memories could have given her an uncomfortable or even predatory power over the people around her but it does not. instead she reads very much as a child but like a child with an adult's sense of responsibility for the other children around her (in a world with horrible real adults)? + mildly related point on the game mechanics aspect, i also like how neatly katerina’s backstory solves for some of her oblivious and quirky tendencies. like of course she doesn’t think her friends are in love with her, she’s worried about them killing her.
anyway, on katarina/maria: it’s also soooo interesting that everyone is in love with her by the time she meets maria and the possibility she is going to be the "villain" who "dies" is 0 but she just doesn't know it. but she meets her and is like she is so beautiful and charming and cool, that's why i'm so sure to meet an evil fate. . it’s so on the nose for like, the evil anvil that is going to fall on me which is proof that i’m doomed. . . is how wonderful and captivating this other girl is! because of course it is, the crux of the issue is gay childhood. [astronaut meme] “wait it was all about gay feelings?” “always has been”
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