#rn we are at that point. suffering
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this whole conversation with Clementine where they offer you their deal is so much harder writing it the second time..... how did 2020 me do this
#im kinda baffled by how fast i wrote everything back then#but im paying for it now i guess. LOL#idk i am unfortunately inconsistent no matter how hard i try#sometimes i'll write like 7k in a day. or 30k in a weekend#other times i'll manage a Single Sentence in a week. lmao#rn we are at that point. suffering#so much for the game i wanted to finish. but she's marinating ig. i do want to get Something new out soonish....#and i know it's not going to be tnp or bc. lol#and it will be valentine's day before you know it and i do want to do queer vampire jam again#ough.
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i love lego ninjago, it lures u in with a false sense of security with the characters being literal legos and then proceeds to show some of the most distressing plot lines i've ever seen in children's animation
#ninjago#the only thing keeping it y7 or whatever it is is the fact they're legos and can't be brutalized too badly 😭😭#im watching hunted rn and there are not enough characters in these tags to explain how insane this is#i FEEL insane#i remember watching a video abt how the ninja don't talk abt their trauma too deeply and i get why it'll up the age rating#unironically i think the ninja as a collective have suffered more than jesus#at least jesus only got resurrected once 😭#jace yaps#i remember being a kid and me and my 3 sisters would be on the couch screaming at the tv idk maybe it was skybound#the point is we were stressed. i think we cried at the end of rebooted. i know for a fact cole turning into a ghost ruined my week.
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Danny developing any chronic condition that leads to periods of joint stiffness (and other things, but the major part is stiffness) has a ton of angst potential in regards to his status as one of the living.
Imagine being something in between life and death and then your joints get all stiff for the first time. I'd imagine someone in that situation who is unsure of their humanity *might* just jump to thinking it was rigor mortis starting to kick in.......
#danny phantom#welp guess I'm not a kid with cool powers because my body is doing corpse stuff now#except it isn't doing corpse stuff it is doing my body is a torture chamber stuff#and let me tell you doing anything wjen your hands are stiff af is so bloody hard because dropping stuff constantly is a thing#and then you move like a zombie because sorry my knee is basically FROZEN in place rn#point is Danny with joint issues neurological issues or chronic illness is somethine this fandom can use#I personally hc fibromyalgia danny#because if I get to suffer with my body randomly pulling this bs then he does too#post exists because my left hand did the thing today and I was just like huh so this is what being dead feels like#then I was like wait a sec we can torture Danny with this
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i’ve been up like 3hrs & 2/3 of each hour has been me shitting & suffering like
#stream#shitposting#still don’t know the shitting tag#me after the first: ok i’ll have to shit again in a few hours but i can calm down for 10 mins then get things done (hopeful) ((mistakenly))#like ok so u want to go back (suffers worse than the first) But feels GOOD LIKE WE’RE DONE & WE STILL HAVE TIME TO GET TO VODAFONE#as soon as i got dressed & finished brushing my teeth here she COMES for the fuckin KILL#& now i know im not going to be able to get to fucking vodafone ALSKALSKALKSLAKSLAKSLA#maybe i can get to ikea but im cowering in a corner (in my head) ((literally im shitting rn & it feels like my asshole has been stabbed but#it’s not that bad like 3/10 i’ve had worse))#but idk i feel like there’s going to be a fourth in there & what fuckin SUCKS is that this bitch is SOLID so it’s not even like i can take#anti diarrheals bc i don’t …. NEED IT TO BE MORE SOLID IF IT WERE A LITTLE LESS THAT WOULD BE GRAND#i’m so fucking exhausted#& i still have shit to do#she’s got the crampys#& THATS WHAT U GET U GLUTTONOUS CLOWN UR LACTOSE INTOLERANT & ATE 5/7 OF A LARGE PIZZA#but that was like#the first thing i actually ate in like 3 days#anyway AKSKALSKALKSLKSLKSALSLA at least u have CALORIES#or at least had#did i absorb them probably not#not the point#that’s why u have ur vitamins which u hold as gospel
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I really dislike the new trend of videos with “I’m a 21 year old, these are the things I’m ashamed of about myself” and it’s just a recycle of living with parents, having no savings, having no job related to your degree or never being in a relationship. Poppet, you’re so young !!! Don’t be ashamed of that stuff !!!! I know you mean well and are trying to be relatable and individual but you’re not because you’re a baby and babies don’t need to have their whole life sorted out !!! Especially in this world and this age !!!! We all are small girls (gn) living in a mean mean world, let’s just have a cup of tea and some cake and not worry m’kay?
#I could’ve been meaner but I realise it’s mainly young 20 something girls#why r u ashamed if the point of the video is to make people less ashamed of a situation you share?#also I would be more inclined to watch and listen and relate to these videos if it was a 30 or 40 something year old#yall are babies please cut yourself some slack#also it’s one of those I saw one video and don’t need to see the others cause they’re all the same#boohoo I’m trying to be individual with my struggles:((( but also I have the exact same struggles as everyone else#precious child we r all suffering let’s just hold hands quietly#I could be so mean rn I’m so torn between being mean and kissing their heads#miko.online
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What other fandoms do you think you’d write for? Or are you strictly an HP writer?
PS. Love ATWMD and THTF. Your writing is impeccable.
i’ve written a captive prince & succession fic as well so! & have also briefly written fics in some other fandoms when i was much younger which r now too embarrassing 2 name lmao
honestly not sure what other fandoms i’d write for it honestly just comes down 2 whether i’m gripped w an idea for certain characters…would love 2 escape hp fandom lol but i think part of why it’s sucked me in so bad is that i like fucking around w the holes in the canon universe…like most of the marauders fic i’ve written has been either canon compliant or canon divergent & me going “hmmm what would these characters do in this context” & now bc i’ve spent so much time thinking abt & writing them it’s just also becoming easy 2 plug these characters into aus 🤧
actually thinking abt my fic writing experience generally the thing that tends 2 make me wanna write fic is if there’s something abt canon that i wanna patch in…like my captive prince fic is just canon but from a different character’s pov & my succession fic is just “what if kenstewy were canon” lol. have thought abt writing aftg from andrew’s pov & the first book of the feverwake duology from dara’s pov simply bc that’s something i enjoyed doing w atyd & captive prince but never actually did…guess i could also see myself potentially writing spn fic if i came up w an idea i liked…& honestly i think if i ever reread trc i might go crazy for real & could then potentially decide 2 write fic who knows. but atp i feel like marauders fic has just become my comfort zone…it’s just a weird balance to strike where a story has to have characters i love but be unsatisfying (poorly written/queerbait/not actually queerbait but i’m delusional/would be fun 2 see from another character’s pov) enough that there r gaps i wanna fill. so like there r various stories/franchises/series i’ve loved where i’ve just never felt compelled at all 2 read or write fic bc i got everything i wanted out of the story etc!
#when i was texting my twin after we both finished tsc i was like ugh should i just write my own sequel rn i don’t wanna wait….#& she was like yeah and send it 2 me lol#but!! i have other projects 2 work on & i trust nora i wanna see how the series plays out….#pondering more & realizing that like. when it comes 2 pov rewrites i am always drawn 2 the same type of character#like gimme a story w a bastard love interest who has suffered horrible abuse & knows things the mc doesn’t#& i will be like wow. i want the whole story all over again from their pov….#many similarities between dara & laurent & andrew & atyd sirius….#my favorite type of guy <3#anyway i do feel like i am running out of things 2 say abt hp canon…#like after wfrau think i’ll be at a point where i’ll have 2 figure out if like#i wanna start just plugging these characters into aus or write fic for other fandoms or try 2 actually write original fiction lol#honestly dara feverwake pov haunts me i love that book sm & ik me & all of 5 people would be having the time of our lives…#ask
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Tell me why there was a medical emergency on a day where a medical emergency should not have been involved lmao wtf
#not snz#on par when i had an animal related mishap at the station#had to deal with a medical emergency at my ranch hand job to even it out#like i literally went there to chill and vibe with the animals and unwind and breathe in non smoky air#and to keep myself active a bit bc they're gonna call me in again and if I'm still for too long I'm not gonna be able to move lmao#but we heard screaming and went to investigate and sure as shit there's peepaw on the ground#thank fuck asshole was there too bc he ✨ drove me there ✨ then decided to hang out again and help#so i didn't have to do hands only cpr for nearly twenty minutes straight lmao we switched off#but still that was a fucking work out like holy shit#was just trying to have a good fucking time but NO#like stop it i don't wanna be a black cloud anymore i wanna go back to doing nothing ever#hate it here smh#worth it tho bc i got to cuddle with the animals 😌#and I'm home now and get to go back to suffering and dying lmao#my lungs still hurt and so does my throat but we're just ignoring all that at this point#the inhaler helps a bit but it still feels bad man#but I'm cuddling and watching shows with him again 🥰#on god bro I'm gonna make this man so much food and take him wherever tf he wants to go#he's out here doing the absolute most lmao mans is in the medical field For A Reason#and he's making more tea rn ahdkaks we've been slowly working our way through the various teas i have and ranking them lmao#gonna make him some fancy ass dinner tomorrow idk i feel weird that he's doing this much for me ahdkakks#like bro already saved my ass from continuing to be on the fire line he has done Enough and i feel bad ahdkalsl
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omw to play emotional support for my mom disguised as ✨fun family bonding time✨ for the rest of the week <3333 there's something so deeply wrong with me uwu teehee
#and i still havent texted my friend back even tho she texted me a week ago and i told her ill text her back this week when i have the time#and i DO have the time. im just fucked in the head and the prospect of having a conversation with another person where i again#have to pretend im not at the very brink of a serious mental and emotional breakdown. is making me lose my fucking mind#ik she's having a bad time rn and she needs the reassurance and jesus fucking christ i tried i had two long conversations with her#that were allllll about her. only her. not a single word about me. that's fine. this is what people need in such moments right#to just get patted on the head and hugged and told their suffering is real and what happened to them is unfair and just made to feel#that for a moment they're the centre of attention and it is all about them. this is normal. this is why therapy exists.#so i try to give this to her but it is fucking draining. and i NEVER get the same treatment back. like she caught me crying at uni last week#and like yes she'll say some nice things but she'll always find a way to turn the conversation back on the topic of ✨her✨#like we started talking about my therapy and i finally got to actually say a word or two about what im dealing with. but then she goes#'yeah im just trying to figure out what's wrong with me when i listen to you haha like i could never cut myself cause it looks ugly.#ofc it doesnt look ugly on you haha but i could never lol'#like thanks haha good to know ill just shut up then and steer the conversation back onto you why dont i. i mean its not like#i spent over an hour a few days back sitting with you and listening to your talk about your childhood and validating you and not saying#a word a single fucking word about myself even tho i was also going through it myself but who cares right. and now im the bad guy again#because im not texting back.#i feel like im finally fucking snapping cause at this point im properly fucking angry. IM having a bad time too. IM going through it too.#I have bad coping skills and had a fucked up childhood and traumas in my life TOO and im allowed to just not be able to handle it#i really wanna break something lol maybe therapy's working after all lmao#oh also this is why i dont eat breakfast. i do it once and then feel guilty and suicidal lol normal behaviour#pojebie mnie zaraz przysięgam na boga mam dość kurwa BASTA
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my fav flavor of inuokko is older (late 20s-30s) with a lot of regrets and bad memories but who have been together so long and know each other so well that they face all of it head on. there’s a few fics in this vein but i’ve never seen any older inok art!
anon thank you so much for putting older inuokko in my head. it unlocked a new department in my brainrot and i now have so many thoughts about them...
100% agree that older inuokko would have lots of regrets and bad memories, they've experienced all kinds of things in their 20s (and life in general) but it's mostly bad bc lbr the jujutsu world is not pretty and they did not have a kind childhood...but when they're together, it's easy to forget all the bad for just a bit.
one day i'll have a character sheet for both of them (i am very invested in this)! will just post yuta for now bc im struggling with toge haha. thoughts below on how yuta is in his 30s plus some long story rambling bc i cannot be trusted with a keyboard and brainrot...
i'd like to think that yuta grows to be a lot more confident in his skin and becomes the best at looking after his friends as compared to the past when they've had to look out for him and reassure him more. he's not shy or hesitant in his actions at this age and a lot of people around like to say he would have been a great teacher at the school.
at one point (as a 3rd year perhaps) he entertained the thought of becoming a teacher, but the moment he had imagined his students dying, it was an instant no. he knew he wouldn't be able to handle it. it's hard enough that he has nightmares of his friends dying/being hurt sometimes. there's been a lot of close calls over the years. at this point of time, he and toge are both freelance sorcerers and no longer under the school, kinda like mei mei and yuki.
will expand on this in the future but it's due to something that happened and had to do with both the inumaki clan and the higher ups that made yuta swear to never return to the school ever again. he actually had to be stopped from destroying the school after shit hit the fan and that's where he got the scars he has now from. sure he could have healed them easily, but he wanted a physical reminder (he never wants to forget what his foolishness could cost him) of sorts. it's one of the events that i would say was significant to his character development.
they move to kyoto shortly after that. i haven't fully thought out toge's story at this point of time but as yuta is maturing and growing into the person he's always wished to become, toge is crumbling. he has a lot of repressed family trauma that he's always been good at locking away in his mind, but after recent events he just broke.
and of course yuta is there for toge, especially when the latter has been his pillar of strength since they became important to each other. unlike the past, he can read when toge needs space or when he needs someone by his side. over the years he's just been able to sense what toge needs like it's something natural to him.
at toge's lowest points, he reminds him of just how loved he is everyday, as much as he can through words and actions. specifically i think yuta is really good at non-sexual intimacy (pls look at the bottom right sketch)!
one thing that has never changed about yuta tho is that he'll still panic over small things like when maki or toge fall sick. for example when he hears from panda that she's down with a cold, he takes the next bullet train back to tokyo as though she's on her deathbed lmao.
overall i think he'd be pretty stable in his 30s but also it wouldn't take much to make him spiral and lose it ^^
#guess who got carried away again#sorry this is kinda messy#the brainrot coordinator is on leave#will she back? has she ever existed even? idk#sigh the ideas i have for toge's story rn is so heavy like why do i always make him suffer#but its also not my fault the crumbs we have regarding his backstory all point to so much potential angst and despair amirite#its ok yuta is here#and he'll make it all okay again#inuokko#ottoge#inumaki toge#inumaki#okkotsu yuta#yuuta#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#art#hc#au
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Something something, the VERY obvious nature of knowing exactly what insecurity a fictive is going to adopt, and sure enough its EXACTLY the thing you thought it would be. And it expresses in the same way
#why are they like this. im they#its like “oh i bet Hilda has an issue with fitting in and connecting to animals more than people. not like that's something#the system as a whole has experienced consistently in this life and has related to her off the bat for that shi“#“haha i bet Lucifer has depression and he hates himself too! hes so me” no. im me#he.#and I hate MYself. you dont GET jt. just kidding you definitely do. it sucks dont it#i bet other luci fictives feel this way too (cuts to them having the BEST time)#system babbles#vent#lucifer morningstar#i self loathe so much god damn LMAO. and im laughing and pointing finger guns rn but im in agony. like straight up#and i know its rebellious to love yourself its all we got and its the answer to everything love love love love love.#i CAN'T STOP. i just don't feel like i deaerve anything good and that whatever bad thing happens to me im like#“yeah that makes sense. i had that comin. I definitely walked onto the timeline that that happened so i cant even get mad or upset or feel-#like i deserve any justice or relief or comfort. yeah i definitely deserve to suffer even if it literally wasnt my fault or something i did“
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Very few people know this, but Lucy Dacus' "My Mother and I" was actually written about me. I don't think even Ms. Dacus herself knows about it but I do. I do.
#im about to overshare in the tags bc im emotionally vulnerable rn besties please look away#but the first time i heard “they called me an old sould when i was too young to know the difference between a soul and a ghost” it was over#listen. im super close to my mother. i was even closer when i was younger.#my mother was suicidal when i was a kid. she was self isolating and suffering and i was the only one there#and that shit makes you 'grow up' fast. i seemed so mature for my age bc i was neglecting my needs to try and make my mom stay#and i dont blame her at all. im glad i was there for her even if i was 5 and didnt have the tools to actually help#but that made it so i grew up caring for her. being her emotional support. being her only friend at some points. my mother and I#we were so inseparable sometimes i wondered if i was even anyone for myself. and we want love. warm and forever.
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drawing kaeya in anything is so hard he just look hot in whatever you put him in how do you elevate the hottest???
#Suffering from success#When you trying to do new look but he looks hot in anything regardless#Buddy bro my man im trying to get you in new fit for ur hangout later#Kaeya doesn’t have a stylist they just quit#Im doing turtle neck fashion because it’s something we don’t see him do often#And thats all i got so far#open shirts sexy cuts he do all of that 24/7#Turtle neck but not closeted#Idk if anyone understands what im saying or everyone think im insane rn#My point is: kaeya will just wash out any clothes u put him in because he is so pretty u don’t see them anyway#*blinded by light omitting kaeya* oh my god my eyes#kaeya#genshin impact
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been telling my siblings 'you would NOT make it in vulcan academy' when they do smth goofy recently and nobody's been able to refute lol
#just me hi#listen here you little idiot... [<- fond]#anyway i've been doing this for months and it brings me much joy hbfhsvh#to me it's just an academy. with vulcans. and they are NOT getting enrolled loll#//so speaking of siblings i've been off and about with my dad more often#which is cool but that means spending a lot more time away from my siblings and ouhhrhrhrhrhrhrhhghhhhhhhhh#[tears in eyes]#my buddies :( Where Are My Buddies :( lmaoo#staring out car windows yearnily bc i want my brother's opinion + dumb joke combo on some random thought i had but he's miles AWAYYYYYYYYYY#i'm home rn but like. Man hfbhsfbvh#//oh man but here was one time one of them used the academy thing on me and i could only sputter. touche motherfunker lolllll#//anyway i am exploding all of them with my mind [<- endearing]#my youngest siblings do art (because they saw me doing it [funkin dies and explodes and cries and stares at a wall forever] lol <3) and#they're ! ! ! ! ? ? ? ?#leo does humanoids + has a more geometric style atm and it's really cool!! he keeps asking me to help him draw hands but he asks me at like#1 a.m. when my brain isn't working practically anymore so it's just me going 'yea and the thumb bone connects to the hip bone. +~Somehow~+#[mystery chimes]' and then he goes off on some sort of random thought and we are derailed forever hgbbfhsh#and ruff is so good at drawing animals it's insane. like have you seen this kid's cats they are Sick ! ! ! i genuinely did a double-take#when i saw her stuff a couple months ago loll#/and then my older siblings are v into video games#which is cool bc if i am ever bored they have like 5000 things that i can suffer on while we all laugh hfbhsfhv#i think i'm still helping test one of apollo's games that he's working on -#he's learning code and all kinds of cool stuff - also he's insanely good at blender like Woauhghsgh. wizard shizz hbfhsvb#+ reed helps him w/ that bc i believe he's the architecture guy lol :) - also it turns out reed n i share a lot of opinions on media and#stuff so that's awesome :D he didn't know what whump was but he liked all the points of it so i tried explaining that to him the best i#could hbshfv o7#+ chess has been trying to convince me to give him + leo a ~mystery~ story to play and i finally caved lmjfhsjf#he's real good at the clues it's going well :3 i am scared for my life HFBVhsfvh#also trying to convince him to play kartrider w/ me again cuz i have leo on it now and we need a 3rd okay-to-decent player in our soon-to-b#posse Loll :33 //i ran out of tag space... ouhhh..... okay then.. ciao ciao toodles :D
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ur new haven wards au is so interesting to me. I've got no idea what it's based on but it sounds super cool
THANK YOU ITS ALL IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT RECENTLY. ITS EVERYTHING TO ME. it is based on the webserial called Worm which is like.... a solid deconstruction of the superhero genre. I'm not finished with it yet (i think im only like ??? halfway through??? it's the thing ive been incessantly liveblogging and posting a billion screenshotts of lately) so I'm gonna leave it up to @intertexts to give u the proper propaganda if you want it but holy shit it's so good. we are taking the prime defenders and putting them in this universe where everything is terrible all the time and superheroes are child soldiers and they are being put under the magnifying glass like ants on a sunny day. this is a collab au except it's literally just me and ros repeatedly sending each other psychic damage blasts !!!!!!!!!!!
OH ALSO ROS HAS WRITTEN A FIC FOR IT..GO READ IT RN ITS GHOSTKNIFE BEING WEIRD AND SAD there r various art posts too it would take.me too long to link them all tho cause I'm on mobile rn so just go thru the "new haven wards" tag on mine n roswells blogs if u wanna see those :]
#im fighting for my LIFE trying to make a good design for the trickster rn but im remembering the fact that im bad at clothing design LMAO#anyway i just got to a point in worm where i learn about the situation that we're putting the winters family in so.#its been all ashe winters lately#for good reason bc i love him dearly#we just figured out last night how ashe got his powers + how his mom died + marks reaction to it all so. pain and suffering !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#asks#skittlebugg#<< FUN FACT I THINK ABOUT THE MAIN CHARACTER OF WORM EVERY TIME I TYPE YOUR URL#BECAUSE HER CAPE NAME IS SKITTER AND HER POWER IS. CONTROLLING BUGS. SO ITS PERFECT .#new haven wards#<< tagging this bc ros' fic is in here. everyone read that NOW 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
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Jjk spoilers but also, ALSO, if Gojo is really back….. I hope that he still have those scars…..
#rambling#from when he was broken in half like a kitkat 😭…#he doesn’t have the ones from Toji but I don’t think rn he’d have enough energy to properly heal himself#well not energy but it’s moreso the fact that he’s suffered from extensive brain damage#and we never really got to see just how WELL Ieiri can heal others because misogyny™️#I really don’t know how good she is as a healer and we’ve literally never seen it#only Yuuta and others heal injured characters back to the point where they were just fine with not scars to even be left behind#Getou fucked maki’s leg up and Yuuta healed it back like it was normal#most of the other characters who can use RCT can regrow Limbs as well… gege really did Shoko bogus af#be will pay#jjk spoilers
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why do you remove image-ID captions when you reblog?
I'm sorry that my 20-follower personal shitposting blog, which I curate according to my own tastes for nobody's enjoyment but my own, does not meet your standards :( but if you like image captions and alt-text you should go check out my art blog :)
#this is the second ask you've sent me idk what u want from me man#Also isn't it a funny coincidence that this big push for alt-text has occurred juuuust in time for the AI uprising.#I'm only half-serious but it's my pet conspiracy theory#anyway if you are a follower & earnestly are concerned about accessibility why not message me off anon#in the more likely event you're some random fucker who just wants 2 be smug & passive-aggressive. do you need a hug#if you want the earnest answer: i wasn't aware I was removing them specifically but I do tend to nix captions which aren't useful/funny 2 m#I agree that accessibility for all is a good goal everywhere#however... my personal shower does not have a hand rail.#if you require a shower with a hand rail you can use the other shower in this house. which does have one.#we have two showers in this house and you should choose the one you're most comfortable in#the water's the same in both; you need not go unshowered NOR suffer needlessly in mine :)#this isn't just a metaphor btw those are the literal ablution solutions in the place I'm renting rn#i'm flattered that you think my content is so unique and unmissable. but there are other blogs out there which make a point of image IDs...#i don't think it's a moral failing to not have a handrail installed in your own shower. a public shower? that's different.#but my blog is not a public shower. do you get me.#it's just for me and (secondarily) my 20 followers
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