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six-paths-of-jeanmarco · 8 months ago

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I really need people to understand the difference between a character's in-story intent and the author's intent, and why the latter overrides the former.

But before I keep going: this is not meant to be shipping discourse, I don't mean to make any pro or anti argument about anyone's blorbos, nor claim that the aot fandom endoreses the things I'll be talking about here. I just wanna vent about isayama's shitty writing skills, that's all.

The reason Jean's character arc was derailed throughout the final 12 chapters is the same as the reason behind Marco's absence from the smoke: isayama wanted to restore Reiner and Annie's image in the fans' eyes. Any animosity between Jean and R&A would've undermined isayama'a efforts to rebrand them as tragic characters after he had them as genocidal antagonists for far too long. Marco's appearence would've reminded everyone of what they did to him, and especially of how upsetting his death was. Combine that with everything RBA did for most of the series, and their redemption just doesn't make sense - at least not in the way isayama wrote it for the remaining two arcs, and especially not when Annie said it herself that she'd do what she did again. So in order for their redemption to make sense, Jean's and Marco's characterizations, as well their pre-established individual and shared history had to take major blows (although it should be noted that Jean's words still stand: he won't forgive Reiner).

The same could be said about Armin's character arc and his relationship with Annie. Or Levi's indifference towards her. She shares the blame with R&B for Armin's granpa's death. She killed Levi's squad and many other Scouts, and she's been intentionally cruel in doing so, no matter how the story wants you look at it or want to excuse it. But neither of those things are adressed at all in the final arc. We were to focus instead on her eating pie weirdly and having fluffy moments with Armin. The things she's done should matter but they don't bc isayama wanted the audience to forgive Annie or at least be sympathetic towards her as a tragic character, not as another cold blooded genocider. And in order to do so, his other characters had to suffer. The story itself had to suffer nonsensical readjustments.

Characters are meant to be tools, and isayama used his to convincince his audience to sympathize with genociders (250k+ died because of RBA's actions, directly and indirectly, nothing else in the series even comes close to this aside from the rumbling). "They didn't wanna do it, they didn't have a choice, they were brainwashed, they just wanted to go home" - the moment you start to justify those kind of actions is the moment you fall for propaganda. "russian soldiers torturing, raping, slaughtering, pillaging innocent Ukrainians don't want to do it, they don't have a choice, they're brainwashed, they just wanna go home" "imperial japanese soldiers who tortured, raped, slaughtered, pillaged innocent Chinese & Koreans didn't wanna do it, didn't have a choice, were brainwashed, just wanted to go home" "the fucking nazis..." - this is the kind of rabbit hole isayama digged when he wanted his audience to agree that R&A are worth a second chance, or when he falsely equated their genocidal mission to the purpose of the military of Paradis and their killing of titans (species that from their perspective wanted to end their existence). Don't even get me started on how Eren's friends refused to condemn his actions and forgave what he did. It doesn't matter that they did what was right in the end, that Mikasa killed him, or that Armin went from "thanks for killing 80% of the population for us" to "we're both going to hell", there's a dissonance between their actions & words and their attitude. Fiction and reality are obv not the same thing and whoever says otherwise needs to re-evaluate their way of thinking, but stories don't exist in a vacuum, especially not when an author has an agenda. And before anyone says that we need to humanize the worst of the worst in order to understand them better, please do me a favor and read this post. I also want to include this here (op has closed the reblogs):

Make no mistake, the fact that Eren, the yeagerists & the warriors were part of an oppressed minority that is so obviously based on antisemitic tropes, canards and conspiracies is not just an "artistic" choice (I strongly believe the fandom is not giving isayama enough shit for how awful he is at dealing with themes of discrimination and oppression - a writer could do no amateurish mistake greater than writing an oppressed group and then justifying their oppression). On one hand, it added to their victimhood - we wouldn't want to compare them with their oppressors, would we? Because it's not people who committ attrocities, oh no, ideologies alone are to be blamed /s. On the other hand, it reinforces the aforementioned tropes, canards and conspiracies. The story's main conflict is among Eldians, and always has been (the Tyburs controlled Marley from the shadows, the titans were actually Eldians, and before them and Paradis it was the Eldian race's dominance over the whole world), while the rest of the world suffered as a direct result of these conflicts. The story fails to condemn oppression, and instead makes an argument in its favor. This in turn is no coincidence at all: it aligns with the "us vs them" and "permanent warfare" rhetoric of fascism.

Returning to the idea of characters that the plot just tossed away like rag dolls, let's also talk about Sasha's death - it's basically Reiner kills Marco 2.0 - Gabi was isayama's clean plate to properly redo the same scenario bc she wasn't an antagonist, unlike her cousin (but she's still a tool of the same propaganda). And who took the blow in this case? Sasha, a character isayama wanted to discard for a long while (I wouldn't say an author who's so disinterested in his own creations is "good" either). But also Connie, bc the story barely focuses on how her death affected him, her actual soulmate (his words, not mine). Instead, there's more emphasis put on how it affected Gabi and Eren, which is bs, bc in Marco's case, we know how much emphasis is put on how his death affected RBA, his other friends Armin and Eren, and especially on how it affected Jean.

And don't get me started on Hange's death. It accomplished nothing and added absolutely nothing to the plot, except that it helped Armin get a promotion (which imo should've went to Jean, whose whole character arc was bulit around him becoming a true leader - see what I'm saying with characters being hurt for the sake of others?).

There are many other such examples in the final arcs where the author's intent seems to be the only explanation as to why this or that happened (good ole "only ymir knows"), far too many for me to list here (hence why imho the writing for this part of the story is horsecrap), but such instances also occured in the pre-timeskip arcs as well, such as: the flashback of Marco's death, Ymir's choice, and Levi's choice.

It made no sense for a character like Marco who was hyped up by others and figured the whole plot in just 10 seconds to let R&B know he heard them or that he was even there, especially since it would've been extremely easy to fix it (by simply cutting the part where Marco confronts them to R&B watching him leave the rooftop and noticing the suspicious way he looked at them) - classic example of a poorly executed reveal of a pre‐established event. I could also talk about how his death could be seen as propaganda, but I'd rather not.

Ymir had literally 0 reasons to leave Historia and the walls, and she knew damn well what was going to happen to her in Marley. The only reason this happened was purely bc isayama still needed her titan, and bc it was far too soon for the main cast and for the fans to know the truth about the outside world. Alternatively, you could say she was discarded because the basement reveal was a much more prioritized mystery box than her character. Any justification for the way her character was so unceremoniously retired is just coping.

As for Levi's choice, regardless of whether you believe Levi had solid reasons or not is not the point. Yes, Armin proved his worth again and again and he was one of Levi's men (and we know how damn much he cared about his squads - Furlan, Isabel, Eld, Petra, Oluo, Gunther, as well as his current squad, we all know how important they were to him), but everything about his relationship with Erwin up until that point indicated that Erwin meant much more to Levi, way too much to not be biased and not want to save his life. From a writing standpoint, that would've been both realistic and convincing. His actual choice just wasn't, but the plot necessitated it.

But perhaps the greatest injustice isayama has committed to his own characters, story and mesages was to retcon Eren, the character that was at the center of a message as beautiful and powerful as the idea that we're all special because we're simply born in this world, into a genocidal maniac that cared about no one and nothing (he didn't care about his friends, you don't put the people you claim to care so much about through living hell, especially not when you have the power to prevent it) through one of the worst executions of the time travel trope I've ever seen, and is even implied to have murdered his own mother. For. Nothing.

I'll end this by reminding everyone that understanding and accepting all those things from a critical pov doesn't have to upset anyone's headcanons. Canon and fancanon are not meant to be the same.

#aot meta #anti aot #aot #snk

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sethshead · 8 months ago

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There have always been those who use these terms interchangeably. What’s new is the boldness of those using it, and the distinction between Jews — a marginalized group worthy of respect — and Zionists — worthy targets of violence. “Zionists are not Jews and not humans," read a sign from protesters outside the Nova exhibit. The survivors of the Nova at the exhibition? It’s OK to retraumatize them, because they’re Zionists, not Jews. It’s fine to threaten subway passengers who are peacefully minding their own business, because if they’re wearing kippahs, they must be Zionists. A Jewish museum director, whose home was targeted with a symbol used by a terrorist group to mark their victims? It’s fine, we don’t need to worry about her safety, because she’s a Zionist. (Pasternak’s friends say she has a long history of pro-Palestinian advocacy.) What it boils down to: If we call you a Zionist, you deserve the consequences — whether they’re public threats, an invasion of your private life, or pure harassment. And if that behavior crosses the line from peaceful protest to aggressive antisemitism, well, Zionists deserve that too.

There's nothing new about this. "Zionist" has been the euphemistic slur for Jews since the Polish and Soviet "Anti-Zionist Campaigns" of the late-'60s, which purged Jews from leadership positions regardless of their personal stances on Israel. The Soviets invented the "science" of Zionology, which sought to connect Zionism to every social and political ill under the sun, a project that influenced the academic and activist habits of seeing a Zionist hand in Brooklyn gentrification. The Soviets and Poles printed "anti-Zionist" posters with such grotesque Jewish caricatures that Julius Streicher would have found them excessive for the pages of Der Stürmer. We have seen this all before, and no one made any effort to address this cancer of antisemitism on campus and among activists while it was still mere rhetoric.

Now we see the fruits of that indulgence of bigotry, the one bigotry permissible in the polite society of the ivory tower and social justice protest. The use of Jewish self-determination as a term of abuse that works as a get-out-of-opprobrium-free card for any who with to camouflage their antisemitic is a classic tactic, a transparent and disingenuous one, yet somehow remains successful from the classroom to the march to social media. For how much longer will this be tolerated?

Because I oughtn't have to remind you that anti-Zionism is antisemitism. The unique denial to Jews of self-determination in the land of our ethnogenesis is a double standard when other nation-states about in this world and so many desire the establishment of a Palestinian nation-state. Further, one cannot dismantle a Jewish Israel without causing real harm to half the world's Jews, who will again be subject to persecution and expulsion as a traditionally oppressed minority in the Middle East. One cannot wish that on a people and claim to have no antipathy for them. Dismissing such fears as hypothetical and hyperbolic after the ethnic cleansing of Jews from every other Arab country is not plausible deniability.

This is why the term "Zionism" is still important to Jews. It is a big tent, but at its core it simply demands Jewish national self-determination within the land of Jewish origin. There have always been many different Zionist philosophies, since well before the modern Zionist movement. Some have been religious, some national, some socialist, some reactionary, some pragmatic or even grudging, but they all share that core tenet above. That tenet means something that is not vague or impracticably broad: it means Jewish dignity, Jewish responsibility for our own safety, Jewish right to live as ourselves and to be masters of our own destiny. May these principles never be forsaken.

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philosopherofabetterkind · 1 year ago

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Little reminder, also in view of the upcoming Easter celebrations, for all those who like to write/wrote Bible fan fiction of the 'Jesus in the Gaza Strip 2023/2024' (1) variety. Or try to back up their anti-Semitic pro Palestinian arguments with biblical facts. :

THE BIBLE IS NOT GRIMM'S DAMN COLLECTION OF FAIRY TALES!

I know many of you think that, but the Bible is not the same or ever comparable in its nature and meaning to the Grimm's collection of fairy tales!

The Grimm's collection of fairy tales contains different, self-contained stories, many of which originate from the French and some of which have been passed down orally. The Brothers Grimm are not their authors! They merely collected them and polished them up for German domestic use, i.e. no foreign words and less sex and violence, but more Christianity and anti-Semitism. Each fairy tale stands on its own and has its own message and meaning. To understand the events in “Aschenputtel”, you don't need to know “Der treue Johannes” or “Das Mädchen ohne Hände”. Although the motif of the “wicked stepmother” plays a significant role, it speaks for itself and does not require an understanding of the fact that it also appears in the fairy tale “Die wahre Braut”. The story of the poor girl who has to endure many trials only to be rewarded for her steadfastness and kindness of heart by marrying the prince also loses none of its meaning. If, as in the French version “Cendrillon ou La petite pantoufle de verre”, the doves and the hazel branch are omitted.

The Bible, on the other hand, is a religious text whose purpose is to convey and pass on a doctrine of faith. It does not serve as entertainment literature for adults so that they can pass the boredom in the late evening hours. It consists of various religious scriptures. The various books and writings were created over thousand of years and were written in different languages — Hebrew, Aramaic and ancient Greek. The oldest books of the Bible originate from the Holy Scriptures of the Jews, including the Torah, while the most recent books were penned by members of the early Christian church.

The Bible is made up of two parts — the Old Testament and the New Testament. The Old Testament bears witness to the Old Covenant between God and the Israelites, while the New Testament bears witness to the New Covenant between God, the Jews, and the Gentiles.

The core of the Christian faith is the belief that Jesus' death and resurrection created a new covenant between God and mankind, replacing the old covenant between God and the Israelites.

Jesus Christ is the saviour and bringer of salvation promised to the Israelites by God. He came from and appeared to the Israelite Jews, who, as God's chosen people, naturally had the privilege of hearing his message first. It was only after his ministry, death, and resurrection that God also turned to the Gentiles and offered them the new covenant.

In the years that followed, the early Christian church increasingly separated itself from Judaism by placing the message of the Christian resurrection at the centre of their faith. The Jews, who did not confess Jesus as their Messiah, continued to hold on to the old covenant. (2) The Acts of the Apostles, which describes the process of separation, ends with the Church and Judaism facing each other as two different entities. Long story short — the faith message of the New Testament does not work without that of the Old Testament. Both are interrelated, refer to each other and are mutually dependent. It is not possible to take one part of the Bible without recognising the other. Because one cannot exist without the other!

And for all those who are not mentally capable of understanding the above explanations, here is a quick run-through:

→ Without the Old Covenant between God and Israel, no Messiah and Redeemer promised to the Israelites.

→ Without the Messiah and Saviour promised to the Israelites, no need for Jesus' mission as Messiah for the people.

→ Without the necessity of Jesus' mission as Messiah to the people, no birth of Jesus as Son of Man (in Bethlehem).

→ Without the birth of Jesus as the Son of Man (in Bethlehem), no ministry of Jesus, death and resurrection.

→ Without the ministry, death, and resurrection of Jesus, no emergence of a new covenant between God, Jews, and Gentiles.

→ Without the emergence of a new covenant between God, Jews and Gentiles, no emergence of the early Christian church.

→ Without the emergence of the early Christian church, no (religious) biblical testimonies (3) about the life and work of Jesus as the Messiah promised to the Israelites, who replaced the old covenant between God and Israel.

→ Without the Old Covenant between God and Israel, no Messiah and Saviour promised to the Israelites.

→ Without the Messiah and Saviour promised to the Israelites, no …

You see, the snake is biting its own tail. And anyone who still hasn't realised it by now has either voluntarily surrendered their brain and left themselves to the incompetent thinking of others. Or they are deliberately ignorant, hoping that if they just shout their lies loud enough, the truth will change. (Spoiler, it doesn't.)

What does that mean in concrete terms?

Well, I'll explain it to you using the example of anti-Semitic propaganda from the year 2023, in December, especially around the Christmas holidays (24/25 and 26 December):

“Jesus, who is suddenly of any descent, just not Jewish, would have been bombed to death if he had been born in Bethlehem in 2023, because all Jews are evil and something to do with genocide.”

(All statements summarised and “slightly” paraphrased, of course.)

Apart from all the nonsensical morally degenerate genocidal ramblings, this kind of “reasoning” is nothing but pure hypocrisy and double standards and disqualifies you from any factual argumentation from the outset. You cannot cite a biblical fact to lend legitimacy to your despicable human argumentation just because it benefits your self-imposed mission, since Bethlehem is on Palestinian territory. While at the same time denying the identity of the man without whom the source from which you cite this fact would not exist!

The only source that cites the fact “Jesus was born in Bethlehem” is the New Testament of the Bible itself. There is not a single proven and verified historically correct independent third source that confirms this fact! Historians and biblical scholars assume that the historical Jesus was probably born in Nazareth, and the evangelists added Bethlehem in reference to the birthplace of King David in order to substantiate Jesus' descent from Abraham and King David.

And for all those who are confused again:

You cannot cite the biblical fact of Bethlehem as Jesus' birthplace to fuel your point of view of your genocidal fantasies, but at the same time ignorantly deny all self and other statements about Jesus'! Be it his self-definition and understanding or his social recognition as an Israelite Jew who actively practised the Jewish faith in the four gospels, by declaring that he was anything but that!

Therefore, as long as you do not recognise the biblical Jesus' as an Israelite Jew, hands off any biblical evidence! Otherwise, you will expose yourselves in the simplest possible way as what you are, hypocrites and double-moralists!

(And before we misunderstand each other here, unbelieving Thomas' who can not see the miracle of Jesus' resurrection are not my problem. Only people who have the understanding of morality, empathy, and sense of justice of a rotting corpse and feel the urgent need to justify their lies, distortions of facts and hypocrisies with biblical arguments. Or anti-Semites for short).

(1) Of course, this also applies to the coming years 2025, 2026, 2027 and beyond.

(2) Expressed in a very simplified way so that this text, which is already very long, doesn't explode even more.

(3) (New Testament + addition to the Jewish holy scriptures (Old Testament) = Bible)

Edit: How angry was I when I wrote that? Very! Could I put it more diplomatically? Yes. Is that what I want? No, just come to terms with the fact that I have no patience (any more) for people with the morals of a rotting corpse.

Source:

The mentioned Bible passages:

Now after Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judea in the days of Herod the king, […]

(Matthäus 2,1)

And Joseph also went up from Galilee, from the town of Nazareth, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and lineage of David, to be registered with Mary, his betrothed, who was with child.

(Lukas 2,4-5)

Now Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them,“ Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”

(Johannes, 20,24-25)

If you want to look up these Bible passages but don't have the English Standard Version (ESV) or a similar edition to hand, you can find the online edition here: https://www.esv.org/

As a source for the explanations and descriptions of the composition of the Bible (Old and New Testament) as well as the distinction between Jewish and Christian beliefs, I refer without further ado to my Bible lit. As a German Roman Catholic, I use the German-language “Einheitsübersetzung”, which is supplemented with biblical, historical and theological notes and has already been used in my religious education lessons, first communion preparation and confirmation preparation, among other things.

(If anyone would like to have the individual proof of this, please contact me. I will do my best to scan and translate the relevant passages. Otherwise, the search engine of your choice is still your best friend.)

The biblical explanation about Bethlehem can be found here: https://www.bibelwissenschaft.de/ressourcen/wibilex/altes-testament/bethlehem And the information about Grimm's Fairy Tales here: https://www.maerchenatlas.de/category/deutsche-maerchen/grimms-marchen/

(The two links are only in German, however, as I don't feel like looking for an English-language source at the moment. It's late and I have to get up early tomorrow morning. Either use the translation tool you trust (I like to recommend DeepL, because of its accuracy) or simply search yourself for “Bethlehem Jesus Birthplace”, "Grimm's Fairy Tales" or similar word combinations.

If you don't want to believe my "slightly" paraphrased example of anti-Semitic propaganda, just enter "Christmas 2023 Gaza" in the Tumblr search bar and you'll find plenty of material.

#Antisemitism #israel #pro israel #gaza #Bible #Bibleknowledge #Bible fanfiction of the 'Jesus in Gaza 2023/2024' kind #The Bible is not Grimm's collection of fairy tales #Jesus was an Israelite Jew #Hypocrites and double standards #People who have the moral understanding a rotting corpse #Very long post #rant

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endogenicredstararchive · 10 months ago

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Pondering Things 7: Fear and Judgement

I didn't think I would be Creating a new Pondering Things entry this late. But here we are. I hope you all had a wonderful day today. For me, things have been rather rough. As you may have already seen from my system mates, I've been having issues with blood pressure. Even though I take medication, it's still tends to screw up every once in a while. I'm not worried about it particularly. Like always, it'll go back to normal eventually. And once that happens, we'll be back in smoother waters. And once we're in smoother waters, we'll be back to our regularly scheduled programming. And by that, I mean your average posts. Part of me wonders if this even worth it. I Mean. sure I have people following us now. But part of me is a little paranoid. We are an endogenic system, after all. And people don't take kindly to us.

That's something that's been on my mind a lot lately. I'm afraid of how people see us. I'm afraid they'll look at us and think that we're faking. Is this a normal thing for a system host to feel? Is it normal to feel like I'm faking everything? Is it bad to fear another’s judgment? The guys tell me that I'm thinking too much about it. And that I should keep going. But is worth it if it affects me so much? I know I should listen to them. They know what they're talking about. But part of me is still very much afraid. But if I keep letting fear control me, it'll keep winning. And I can't let it win. I have to keep going. We have to keep going. If not for ourselves, then for the other endogenic systems out there. I want to be a voice for them so that they too can be heard. I want the world to know that we're all right. I want the world to know that We're not here to hurt people with DID, Or people with OSDD. We're not here to steal resources. We're just existing. That's all we're doing. It's our existence somehow a crime? Does our existence scare them somehow? Because I assure you, we don't bite. Even though some of my system mates would gladly bite aggressors. Anyway, I Just don't want to come on this website just to fear for my own validity. But I also want to keep posting. Because if I don't, then someone may go unheard. And I don't think I could live with that. Everyone has a right to be heard. Even the ones you disagree with. No matter how much It hurts you to hear what they say, They have every right to speak. It doesn't mean that they're correct in any way. But they deserve the dignity of being heard. I have to remind myself of that sometimes. Of course, there's a difference between speaking one’s mind and spreading hate. And some of these antis tend to walk a fine line between the two. And occasionally step on to one side carelessly. I find that most of the time they step on to the side of hate speech. And yes, it is considered hate speech when you target somebody. They're targeting endogenic systems, therefore it is hate speech. At least that's what I think.

I know I should stay out of system discourse, and I know it's not good for me to dabble in it. But I feel like I must. Because if I don't, someone may get hurt. The way they talk about us is hurtful. Their words are the reason why I'm so nervous to keep posting. I keep seeing them wherever I look. And it cuts like a knife every time. Miguel has been trying to keep me away from such things because he knows how much it affects me. Bless him, he tries so hard. Both Knockout and Starscream have also put in valiant efforts as well. But sometimes posts like that can't be avoided. I still read them and they still hurt. Even in the Pro endo tags and endo safe tags, I still see them. I've seen people claiming that people like us are just unable to recognize our trauma. They essentially attempt to gaslight us into thinking we have trauma. When in reality, we have none. I, the host, have mental health issues, of course. But that doesn't necessarily mean that I have trauma.

They always use the DSM 5 as a de facto source of information. However, the DSM 5 isn't exactly accurate. I would suggest they check out the ICD 11. It's a fair bit more accurate. Of course, some of them aren't going to listen to us. And that's their prerogative. But constantly saying that the DSM 5 is completely infallible is an outright lie. Besides that, mental health books such as the DSM 5 only highlight issues that make existence difficult for people. It only highlights behaviors that are detrimental to the patient. Granted, I am no mental health expert, but neither are the people accusing every endo of faking. I wish they would do more research before they shoot off at the mouth.

TL;DR: All endogenic systems are valid. All systems of unknown origin are valid. The people saying that we're faking are not.

I suppose I've run my mouth for long enough. I do hope you all enjoy this entry. And I hope to see you tomorrow! And please remember that this blog is a safe space for any system, regardless of origin! I love you all!

#Pondering Things #endogenic systems #endogenic system #endo safe #pro endo #syscourse #sysblr #The Red Star System #Red Star System #The antis are gonna come after me for this one I can feel it

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loki-zen · 2 years ago

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Personally I deliberately conflate those two groups as a rhetorical tactic because I am an antifeminist, I believe that feminism itself is the root problem (with what we think of as "radical feminism" being a vaguely delineated subgroup that pursues roughly the same goals but with more aggression and less effectiveness), and I am eager to jump on a growing split between feminism (or "radical feminism", as people are generally more comfortable calling it as a compromise) and the broader left. To be clear, I do not mean by this that I am a misogynist, but rather that I think feminism, taken as a whole memeplex, is blatantly misandrist and lying about it.

right - well, you are wrong, in that feminism is not a whole memeplex. It is a word given to a bunch of different ones that have in common only the notion that they stand for women in a world where women are and historically have been an oppressed group, excluded from equal participation in society and/or subject to specific harms on the basis of being women.

Some of these groups and some people within them have fallen into the trap of hating the group that they see as relatively more privileged, and many more don’t seriously feel that way but use rhetoric that conveys that if taken literally. This is something feminism has in common with anti-racism, anti-colonialism, the trans rights movement, and indeed economic leftism!

(try counting how often you notice leftists state or imply that people deserve death and objective-suffering for being born in the wrong economic class! [when in fact all they deserve, in my view, is to be forced to share in a way that results in their standard of living not being vastly better than anyone else’s, and if they perceive that as suffering then that’s ok tbh.] a lot of the time the real purpose of this rhetoric is to signal pro revolution fervour. The belief that violent revolution is necessary to bring about change for the greater good isn’t the same as hating people and wanting them to die or suffer as an end in itself, but it is often expressed as such.)

if we’re talking about TERFs, we could also talk about some highly socially conservative movements branded as and coming out of socialist think spaces, or fighting against colonialism.

so unless you are willing to label yourself anti all of these rights-and-progress movements, it does look like you are treating feminism differently.

Do you think women don’t have any problems in this world? no particular concerns that need to be fought for? (it’s unclear whether your position on feminism extends into the past - do you think Votes For Women was fundamentally misandrist and worthy of being thrown out for that reason?) because if so, I disagree.

Do you recognise that they do, and what is happening to them in the world right now, and think nevertheless that they shouldn’t have a movement that talks about and fights these wrongs, because misandrists are a thing? If so, and if you don’t apply this equally to other causes, I find it hard to see how you aren’t a misogynist, at least in effect.

Or do you somehow think you can burn the existing edifice and organising ties and lexicon and movements both material and ideological to the ground and replace them with something, without that having too devastating an effect on the fight against these wrongs? Because as much as I wish it magically was and had been ‘fuck-gender-roles-equalism’ all along , I think the price (measured in, let’s say, 12 year olds forced to give birth) is likely too high and this may not be the sort of thing humans are capable of anyway.

one thing i’ve learned is that the word feminism means very different things to people. a lot of people are simply not going to be able to hear you say you’re an anti feminist without taking from that that you are a misogynist, that you want to undo the things feminism has fought for (which need i remind you, includes the fucking vote).

#if you think socialism can exist after the USSR but feminism just has too much badness associated with it then idk what to tell you

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thisblackwitch · 10 days ago

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I've been noticing a couple tumblrs that don't cross-pollinate and are very different basically both say some version of "Uighurs aren't suffering, these are lies to make China look bad. China is an awesome nation, you just love the West too much to see it." In really short time of one another. One even said it wasn't documented or if it is documented, it's from groups they paint as problematic or "why listen to them? They support [whatever you don't like]". And good ol' "I can talk to them on RedNote/Douyin/[random app from China du jour]! They're fine" (I have a good feeling they weren't talking in Uighur and, bro, it's on apps where you can't post a candle emoji on June 4 - even if it is someone's birthday - so you might need to think about that.) So, a catch-22, in other words.

One, you can like a country and that country can still do horrible stuff. Lots of you guys idolize and/or like nations like the UK, the US, and Japan. The world is complex, deal with it.

Two, the issues around Uighurs is fairly well documented - by Uighurs themselves, such as the Uighur Human Rights Project (uhrp.org) and World Uyghur Congress (UyghurCongress.org). Even Holocaust museums (inb4 you go "Boo Israel", I'm discussing the German holocaust. Regardless how you feel about Israel, learn to unyoke messed up governments from incidents persecuting marginalized people - also, more than Jewish people were murdered in the Holocaust. The disabled were the first victims - to test if anyone will make a noise about it, they didn't - and so were queer people, Black people (I'm a Black disabled queer person, hi!), etc etc.), even those museums have invited on Uighur people to discuss what is going on and their experiences

Three, marginalized people are not going to run PR packages. Part of why some of you see pro Palestine stuff is purely driven by anti-semetic hate since it's an awesome coat rack argument. Because, whoo, a good chunk of you were quiet af in years prior. Palestine has been under siege since 1948 (actually, it wasn't all candy and chocolate before that but you get my drift) and it all reminds me of 2014 but more garrish and louder this time and a bit more "f#ck Judaism" (despite the fact Palestinians can be Jewish - or any religion, including "lackthereof") undertone in it this time. It rings very "Palestine as a fandom"/performative activism. Also, at one point, the exact same "Palestinians aren't suffering, where is the footage? Do you really want me to believe that Israel would harm another nation and their people? Don't you know what they've been through!?" was said and oh look. I'm Black, just because I can post and talk to others doesn't mean anti-Black racism doesn't exist in my country (or your country, or in any country). Just because I'm not wall to wall wailing about whatever bomb reel you think I need to include to make my experience feel authentic, doesn't make it real. People from Sudan and Congo aren't getting a PR blitz but they're going through the wringer also. Same with Uighurs. And they're based in a country where just protesting with a blank sheet of paper or a plain bridge protest is met with major force from the government. Heck, a good lot of you guys think Black people lie when we talk about our issues and only "care" (performatively, not realistically) when one of us is brutally murdered in 4k and that murder still has to go viral before someone will say "whatever, I'll post a black square or something" and then go pretend they care about the plight of Black folks for virtue signaling reasons. You shouldn't need a pr package to believe a group of marginalized people and yes, a country can easily hurt its own citizens systemically - or worse. Even the nations that you like.

TL;DR:

Propaganda is a great song by Muse but it is a really bad thing to fall into. Use your sense and learn media critique/media literacy. Or just play a simple thought game with yourself called "consider the source"

#me speechin'

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wanderinglotus7 · 1 year ago

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Postcards from VA

There's nothing like being able to go home and get a nice recharge from my typical day to day of my new life. It's kind of weird saying "my new life". I'm still figuring out if Boston feels like home; or even if I can call Boston home. Every place that you live at has its pros & cons, you just hope that wherever you reside that there's more pros than there are cons. Some things I do appreciate about living in Boston (Newton) is that most places are walkable, public transportation is easy to access, I can always find something to do, my church community at NewCity, the history, and the diversity. Some of the cons are the lack of parking, the high cost of living, the busyness of the city, difficulties of establishing new friendships along with dating, and the overt/covert racism (and other isms). There's no such thing as a perfect place unless it's in my dreams.

Thinking logistically, If I cannot longer financially support myself in MA, I began looking into other living situations. Like relocating to Rhode Island or North Carolina. North Carolina would be my first choice because it reminds me of Virginia without returning to Virginia. If I want to visit home or attend family functions, I won't be that far away from everyone. Maybe no more than a 4-to-5-hour drive at the most compared to a 9-hour drive. Like Massachusetts there are plenty of job opportunities it just depends on what I am interested in pursuing. The job opportunities in Rhode Island seem a little small however, I can still work in the same line of work I'm currently doing. Yet, the work would be more related to domestic violence and sexual violence. Not much related to trafficking. If I were to relocate to any state in the US, I can always get a job as a school social worker. I'm not permanently attached to any one job or place. I think this is becoming my catch phrase, but I'm riding the wave. I'm remaining in my stillness.

We received word on Thursday that Adelante was rewarded the OVC grant. This means that the trafficking program has funding for the next three years. This also means I have a job for three years. If I want to continue my work in the anti-trafficking field but want to change the population I'm working with, I would work with youth in a counseling or mentorship framework; no case management if I can avoid it. Or I could go another route and teach a psychology or social work course or two at a university or provide mental health services to young adults (college students). Time will tell. I know for sure that I don't want to work more jobs than necessary. My work ethic isn't based on money. My work ethic is based on my passion and interest in the work that I am doing. Either way, let's see in 2 or 3 years where I am at in my life. I may be single now, but I might find myself in a relationship next year or my financial situation may change.

Roots. Home. Gloucester will always be home. So much has changed, but so much has remain the same. I was happy to see that my dogwood tree came back to life because the last time I laid eyes on it it was on the brink of death. Spending time with Snoopy, family, and friends was comforting, but also disheartening. Some people just don't change (smh). The answer to that is it to love those from a distance if they are worth my energy in maintaining those relationships especially when it comes to family. And sometimes it's best to let those relationships dissolve for my own growth and emotional well-being. I still get emotional when I think and speak about my Grandma Shirley and my granddaddy. It hurts seeing their homes empty. It's like all the life around there has been sucked away. I did take the opportunity to visit their grave sites, but it didn't make things easier. I do know that I can still feel their presence, but they make themselves known in different ways. I wonder when the pain will settle. I wonder when the pain will become less to bare.

#homesick #grief #changes

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lightcheckup · 1 year ago

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Trailer ABS Light Issue? Triggers, Codes, And Troubleshooting Guide

Blinking on trailer ABS lights—those little blinking lights on your trailer that might leave you wondering what they’re trying to tell you You’re not alone in wondering, “What does this even mean?” when you see that light. The trailer ABS light is easy to comprehend with our aid.

In this guide, we’re going to break down the ABS light on a trailer mystery for you. We’ll talk about what makes it come on, explain those funny codes it shows, and give you tips on how to figure out what’s wrong when it’s acting up.

Ever thought about whether it’s safe to hit the road when that ABS light is on? We’ve got you covered there too; we’ll answer that question for you.

Trailer ABS Light

What Is An ABS System?

ABS stands for Anti-Lock Braking System. Picture this: you’re speeding down the highway, and suddenly you hit the brakes. Your wheels lock up, and your trailer begins to dance a risky tango. Enter ABS; it prevents wheel lockup, letting you steer while braking like a pro.

Common ABS Triggers: Why Is That Light On?

ABS light may appear due to triggers like trailer tapping, causing it to shine.

The ABS system helps prevent wheel locking on slippery roads, ensuring control and safety.

Hard Braking: The ABS system engages in gear to prevent wheel locking and lights up to signal brake effectiveness.

The trailer’s wheel sensors communicate with the ABS system, alerting drivers.

The ABS system alerts when brake fluid or components are low, prompting a checkup.

Electrical gremlins can cause issues with ABS communication, resembling a phone game malfunction.

Trailer ABS Light

What’s The Difference Between A Brake Light And A Trailer ABS Light?

Let’s talk about two dashboard lights that might confuse you: the brake light and the ABS light. They’re like buddies, but each has its own job.

Brake Light: The Slow Down Signal

The dashboard brake light says, “Hey, I see you stopping!” when you press the brakes. ” It’s a friendly reminder that your brakes are functioning properly.

ABS Light: The Anti-Skid Hero

Now, the ABS light is a bit like a superhero. Imagine you hit the brakes hard, and the road’s slippery. The ABS (Anti-Lock Braking System) steps in to stop your wheels from skidding. If it’s doing its job, the ABS light might come on to say, “I’m here, keeping things safe!”

Trailer ABS Light

What is an ABS code?

Codes? In ABS systems? It’s like your ABS system’s way of sending Morse code.

The alphabet of alerts Just like alphabets make words, ABS codes form a language of trouble signals. Some codes mean, “Hey, chill, it’s a glitch.” Others scream, “Danger, danger, high voltage!” If you spot codes like “ABS Inoperative” or “Wheel Sensor Failure,” pull over and consult the pros.

How Do Tractors and Cars Have Different ABS Codes?

Tractors and cars have specialized ABS codes for heavy loads and everyday situations. Both use ABS codes but have distinct terms to keep braking systems in sync, regardless of size.

Tractor ABS Code: The Big Rig Lingo

When it comes to tractors, they’re like the kings of the road, hauling heavy loads and taking on tough tasks. So, their ABS codes are like a special language just for them. These codes are designed to help mechanics figure out what’s going on with the big rig’s braking system. Tractor ABS codes can get specific, pointing out issues that might be unique to larger vehicles.

Car ABS Code: The Compact Car Dictionary

Now, in the world of cars, things are a bit different. Since cars are smaller and less complex than tractors, their ABS codes are like a more compact dictionary. They cover the basics and help mechanics diagnose everyday issues that might pop up on your regular ride.

So, think of tractor ABS codes like a detailed encyclopedia and car ABS codes like a pocket dictionary. Both help experts understand what’s happening with the brakes, whether it’s on a massive tractor or a zippy little car. No matter the size, ABS codes are like a secret language that helps keep vehicles safe on the road.

When should I replace my ABS system?

Trailer ABS Light

How To Reset Trailer ABS Light: The Great Reset Guide

We’re resetting. Think of it like resetting your computer when things go wrong. A brief guide to the process:

First, park safely before resetting your ABS. There is no need to exacerbate road gridlock.

Just like a light switch, turn off your trailer’s engine. After waiting a minute or two, replace the key and start the engine.

This step may be technical. ABS codes may be cleared in certain trailers. It may include hitting the brakes many times or turning switches in a precise sequence. Check your trailer’s handbook for detailed instructions.

Give it time after resetting. The ABS light on the semi trailer may take a bit to recognize that everything is okay.

Test your brakes on a short drive. That annoying ABS light should vanish magically if everything’s okay.

Sometimes a reset doesn’t work. Trailer ABS lights can indicate a bigger problem. If you keep resetting, consult a specialist who understands ABS systems. They are able to identify the issue and solve it.

Reset the ABS light with a mini-refresher; consult a professional if persisting; a basic tutorial is available for road problems.

FAQs: Trailer ABS Light Secrets

Why does the ABS light come on when I hit the brakes?

The ABS light on your trailer indicates a safety issue when you hit the brakes or on slippery roads. It’s a safety net for your wheels, preventing them from locking up and causing skids. When hit hard or on slippery roads, the ABS system kicks in to keep you safe and steady while slowing down.

Can I drive with the ABS light on?

Technically, you can. But it’s like wearing sunglasses at night—you might miss important details. If the ABS light is on, get it checked before hitting the highway.

Can I just cover the trailer ABS light with tape?

Trailer ABS Light

Is a trailer ABS light a dot violation?

A trailer with an ABS light on is a DOT violation, as the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration mandates all trailers after January 1, 2001, to have an anti-lock braking system (ABS). If the light is on, it indicates a problem with the ABS system, potentially causing a crash. If the ABS light is on, it is considered out-of-service and cannot be driven until the issue is repaired. Drivers who violate this out-of-service criteria may be fined or suspended. ABS lights can indicate a faulty ABS module, low brake fluid, or broken wheel speed sensors.

In Conclusion, And there you have it, savvy traveler! Now that you’ve made it through all the twists and turns of the trailer ABS Light timeline, from triggers to codes, resets to replacements, you now have the information you need to handle whatever the road throws at you.

READ ALSO: Top 5 Reasons Why Your Truck May Need Dual Revolution Lights

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rayssyscourse · 1 year ago

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hi!!

first off, thank you for the kind words!! I'm so glad to hear, from you and a few others, that my syscourse stuff is respectful, even to people on the other side of the argument. I'm glad that I can be a, albeit small, force for good in a community that can often be polarized and hateful. :)

and what you're saying absolutely does make sense, and I agree with basically all of it to be honest.

thank you for sharing your experience as a non-disordered but still traumagenic system! I had honestly never heard of that before, and I'm low-key really glad to hear from somebody who's not necessarily OSDDID or endogenic. you asked if I had thoughts on that, and I do! I think that makes a lot of sense, and honestly it really goes to show that this debate isn't just black and white; it's not just "us vs them" or one side against the other. plurality is different for each individual system, and labels don't and shouldn't box people into a specific designated experience or set of beliefs. so thank you for that reminder, not just to other ppl reading this, but to me, that this is a highly diverse and not black-and-white problem.

honestly I also just appreciate you bringing this from both sides, where you talked about how both traumagenic and endogenic systems feel hurt and are unhappy. that's also an important reminder.

and yes, what you said about separate spaces is exactly what I'm saying! we need that kind of separation, because, like you said, our current situation is not helping anybody. it's driving wedges between us, which I understand is what I'm arguing for, but those wedges shouldn't be out of hatred. what we need is mutual respect, which means acknowledging our differences as well as similarities, and respecting each other's spaces and right to community with others who share their experiences.

about what you said about being pro endo but agreeing with me more than you expected, and about me being one of the few anti endos who differentiates between individuals and community: thank you so much :) It genuinely makes me so happy when i hear from pro endos and anti endos alike that im respectful and open minded; and i hope that I can set an example, even if just a little bit, of how we can have these debates respectfully while still having our different opinions!

and I'm sort of the opposite end of the spectrum as you when you said you used to be super pro endo but have stepped away from that; I used to be valiantly anti-endo, and I will admit that I didn't always understand the difference between individuals and communities. my anger, as does many antis', comes from a place of hurt, and that hurt is valid, but attacking individuals only spreads that hurt when it should be focused on the general issues with the community (I'm planning to make a whole separate post about that at some point, lol). I have been far from perfect, but I like to think that I've gotten better about that, and it makes me glad to hear that I come across as such.

last thing: yes I (unfortunately) know about the radqueer community, although to be totally honest I have all their tags blocked LMAO. so I'm not updated on all of that. could you explain the link between them and the endo community? /gen

anyways, sorry for how long this got haha. and you're all good, I think I understood all of what you said, so ofc if it seems like I misinterpreted anything let me know. otherwise, I appreciate how mindful you are about it, and I don't feel at all like you're talking over my experience or making it about you/others. in fact, thank you for sharing your opinions and experience! I am always happy to learn about new/different experiences, and this blog is 100% an open place for sharing differing opinions.

I hope you have a lovely evening! :)))

I'd like to clarify, when I say I am anti-endo, that doesn't mean I hate every endo system, etc. My issue lies not necessarily in the existence of non-traumagenic plurality, but the way it is presented.

The OSDDID community has the unique, and often extremely difficult, experience of having the brain forcefully cut itself off from itself (forgive the strange wording, lol) due to severe stress/trauma, and we live with heavy dissociation, amnesia, and many other trauma responses. It is a very difficult disorder to live with. That's not to say that endos never struggle with their plurality, but they do not have the experience of struggling with this disorder. OSDDID spaces and communities were created to support people with the disorder, to give them a place to talk about the rather unique struggles of having it, to share resources to help manage it, to bond and help each other with it.

Endogenic systems have come into our communities claiming to be the same as us, and that they should have a place in these spaces, despite not sharing the fundamental issues that the spaces were created to address/help with. Because of this, it has become increasingly hard--sometimes impossible--to find spaces where we as a traumagenic system can talk about these experiences solely to people who understand and can relate. These days, in most spaces traumagenic systems cannot talk in too much detail about the disorder and its (often scary or upsetting) symptoms, because the science and experiences aren't 'inclusive' of endos.

And yes, these spaces still exist. But they have become much fewer and farther apart, and are more and more likely to be put under fire and called exclusionary for restricting to just OSDDID systems. It has become absurdly difficult to find a space where we can talk about our disorder without censoring ourselves, and when those spaces do exist, there is a constant worry of being harassed for being exclusive just for talking about our struggles.

I would also like to add that I've heard every form of "not me though" when talking about this. If you are endogenic and you do not go into OSDDID spaces, this is not about you. I take issue with the community as a whole, because I feel it has become a general community-wide problem, but as I said in the beginning of this (stupidly long) post, I do not hate, or even really take much issue with, many individual endos.

I will say that the word endogenic has gained a connotation of being one of those who invade/impede on OSDDID spaces. So, I will take slight issue with people who align themselves with that terminology, because it implies that one agrees with, or is at least tolerant of, the actions generally associated with the word/the community it describes. The separation of systems into "traumagenic" and "endogenic" also implies that they are the same fundamental thing, just with slight differences in origin. However, I completely understand that a label does not define anybody's beliefs entirely, so that's not really a main problem in my eyes.

In my ideal version of this, endos would have their own community, defined as separate from the OSDDID spaces. I believe that the terminology should be more distinctly separated from that of OSDDID systems. There needs to be the understanding that endo and traumagenic systems, while sharing some similarities, are on a fundamental level different experiences. OSDDID systems should not have to be associated with the idea that they could/may have been formed without trauma or without the distress that the disorder causes, and likewise endos should not be associated with those aforementioned struggles.

I am not saying I think we need to completely divide ourselves or cut each other out. I see no problem with different types of plurals interacting with shared spaces or relating to/with each other. But the situation as it is right now causes harm to many traumagenic systems as it muddles the definition of who we are and puts less weight on the struggles we face, and takes away spaces that many of us take great comfort in. So, when I say I am anti-endo, I am saying not that I take issue with the concert of the existence of non-traumagenic plurals, but with the current community's idea that they are equatable.

I personally do not see how non-traumagenic plurality could work, because there is no science to it the way that there is for OSDDID. HOWEVER, research on plurality is still in its infancy, so that opinion is subject to change as more research is done. Most importantly, whether scientifically proven or not, I will not tell anybody that they are not experiencing plurality, endo or not, because I don't get to tell people about their own experiences. I will respect endos as long as they respect me, but right now, the situation is such that I feel the endo community as a general group is disrespecting us, so while I can respect individuals, I cannot fully respect the community as a whole.

Sorry for how long this got, lol. Thanks to anyone who actually read it all. Have a lovely day, everyone :)

#syscourse #rayssyscourse #system #plural #plurality

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stardusthuntress · 2 years ago

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Some people get upset so easily. Someone made a comment about how Tales of the Jedi wasn’t about the “real Jedi”, and how it needed more about their life at the temple… so I reblogged it explaining how it’s so nice that Star Wars is now treating people like they are human and not perfect, and how seeing the disillusionment and search for hope was so important to the story, and they got all hurt that I was being “anti-Jedi” and that they only allowed pro-Jedi comments on their blog. And ya know, there’s nothing wrong with them not wanting those alerts of comments on the blog. And they are sorta correct, I’m not a big fan of the Jedi because of the way they were portrayed as idols and then they proceed to leave a trail of destruction in their wake that they don’t have to clean up. Because they have forgotten what it is like to be normal and not blessed with the connection to the force. But I love how it is because of that that Anakin struggles and eventually falls. There’s so much realism in that! But the post I reblogged made me realize that the original post was from a person who I should not be following because we have clashing views on the humanity portrayed in Star Wars. Rather than getting angry at each other and spreading hate via lengthy and constant reblogs, maybe I should just make my own post. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have meaningful discussions about the beautiful portrayals of humanity in Star Wars. Maybe that person needs it to portray the ideal case, and who am I to deny them that? But personally, I love that Star Wars is really diving into the grey area where real people live, so I deleted my reblog and decided to make it into a post of its own because I really like that Disney is making Star Wars into a space that portrays the struggles of the real world and how nobody is perfect and I want to share that so they know it is appreciated. Maybe I did word it a bit strongly (I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I was just writing down what was in my head because it got me thinking and I like cerebral stories), but that doesn’t mean we can’t discuss our differences of opinion in kind ways. Personally, I don’t think I would be a big fan of a soap opera about the perfect life at the Jedi temple… but that’s just me! Maybe other people would really like that, and there’s nothing wrong with that! So, lemme explain why I really liked the new show! And let’s all try to discuss our favorite things about the show kindly instead of argue about opinions, sound good?

So here are my thoughts, with a little bit more than I originally posted.

I really like the Tales of the Jedi because the way they wrote it begs the question: are the Jedi really upholding the Jedi values anymore, or have they forgotten what it is to be Jedi? Perhaps these few are those who began to remind the Jedi of what once was, and what needs to be again. People aren’t all good or all bad, real people exist in the grey area, and that’s finally getting explored in Star Wars and it’s wonderful! People need role models that aren’t perfect, because perfection is unobtainable, unrealistic. We need hope that you don’t have to be categorized as bad if you just don’t quite fit the ideal model. All I’m saying is: people aren’t perfect, so why does media so often portray them as such? It’s beautiful to have complexities, and the Tales of the Jedi gave us exactly that!

Tho I would like to know more about all of the others too! Especially the disillusionment cases: what happened to Bariss? Was there a specific mission that made her ache so much she turned on her friend? What about Luminara’s capture, what happened? That Jedi we see under the cloth in Bad Batch, who was that and who were they as a person? Like Homer’s Iliad and odyssey, part of the true meaning of a story comes from the life lived before the fall - we must know the fallen to truly understand the horrors of war.

“To defeat an enemy, you must know them” Thrawn (Rebels). As the Empire knew it’s Jedi, and it’s Clones, and it makes their fall that much more painful! After all, Star Wars has always been a tragedy. The clones became such wonderful men, and they never did receive the respect and kindness they should have for fighting to protect a way of life that they would never know.

And there’s a question I think we need to know more about: the moment Order 66 went out… there were far more clones than Jedi in the galaxy… many Jedi were said to sense a rumbling in the force, was it truly JUST that of their fallen compatriots, or was it also the moment the Clones - their best friends - were suddenly overcome by anger and hatred (as is the Sith way, because it IS indeed blinding) and disconnected from the humanity the Jedi and clones had bonded over, as their minds snapped and they literally lost control? How many clone minds were screaming into the force in that moment? What did that feel like? And perhaps more importantly, who or what gave the survivors the strength to continue after the fall? And what role did the disillusionment have as they continued onwards? We saw Bail give Ahsoka hope when she most needed it. Where were the other kind souls who kept other survivors on their feet?

#star wars #tales of the jedi #totj #clone wars #tcw #bad batch #tbb #rebels #swr #Thrawn #order 66 #kenobi series #andor series

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1ddiscourseoftheday · 4 years ago

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Mon 15 March ‘21

FIRST TIME GRAMMY AWARD WINNING ARTIST HARRY STYLES!! From the bottom of the stairs to the top of the fucking world baby, get itttt!! He won Best Pop Solo Performance for smash hit Watermelon Sugar-- the other two categories he was up for went to others but he was a dark horse for any of them so getting one is awesome! Yeah the grammys are shit but I’m so happy for him to see him receiving validation and acclaim from the industry that has never appreciated what he (and his bandmates) are and can do as artists, it’s a fucking start you know? We can enjoy the moment! Harry did! His acceptance speech was short and it feels like he was blindsided and forgot everything (including not to swear on TV and as pro as he is you know that means he was absolutely reeling, I love that) but later he said “I want to thank my fans for giving me an environment to be free to make the music that I want to make and supporting me along the way the last ten years”, yes that’s right we have helped you find a place to feel good, and “this is an incredibly sweet icing on the cake of what I get to do everyday so thank you.”

But that’s not all! He also performed, and wore things! Say what you want about Harry (or better yet please DON’T at least to me but that’s a losing battle) we always get so hyped up about even just seeing his outfits and he does not let us down! BLACK LEATHER, TITS FULLY OUT, DICK BANANA CHARM, AND A MUPPET BOA? Yeah he did that! Shirtless under a patent leather suit, I mean: wow. Very glam rock, very… well listen it’s just very GAY in like so many different ways??? Harry Lambert said they wanted “something darker, sexier, and more unexpected” which is definitely about that look I’m assuming and not the pastel thrift store rummage bin hodgepodge he wore later, unless Harry(s) and I have very different ways of interpreting “darker”. (Harry L also said “free the nipple” and we can all see that he MEANT it.) Harry red carpet-ed and accepted his award in a lavender muppet boa, tits slightly less out but still cleavagey, and with a seemingly random collection of other garments YES BABY OKAY you just WEAR THAT THEN! About that Harry L said, “we wanted to do something that felt British and eccentric, a little bit rock ‘n’ roll and a little bit camp,” but the people have spoken and they said ‘we think he looked like Cher from Clueless’ so, sorry Harry(s)! Esquire struggling to describe the look-- “the kind of thing that Styles seems to make wearable” klasjdlk the doubtful ‘seems’ is sending me. Either way we can definitely all agree on the camp part, and that the matching face mask (as seen in the audience shots and in adorbs pics of him camping it up with Lizzo backstage) is amazing, love that (even if he does spend way too much time nervously pulling it on and off omg just LEAVE IT) and it even went also with outfit number THREE (or at least it did as well as any of his anything went together lol) which was a big floppy orange coat and plaid pants and a THIRD BOA, a dignified (haha JK NOPE it’s still a muppet) black number this time.

It seems the performance was filmed in advance rather than done live-- there were clues suggesting this might be the case, but the real giveaway was when a picture from it leaked before the broadcast, lol. Way to make it so we “can’t even tell if it’s live or not” Ben, and why is he STILL so obsessed with trying to gaslight us anyway my god just say what’s prerecorded it’s fiiiine. ANYWAY Harry played Watermelon Sugar and only WS; well after all it is his GRAMMY AWARD WINNING SONG. Plus it was a really nice version, all smooth and funky, with a highlight of the night being Harry’s full on 60s girl group choreo move with the backup singers, omg. Those backing vocalists were the duo G.A.W.D., and there was extra accompaniment by fellow nominee Devonte Hynes aka Blood Orange (who also directed the performance and no I do not know what that means) and “Spencer and Josh” on horns (the closest I can find to someone crediting them so, apologies guys). Anyway! All of them (regular HS band included) were decked out in matching gucci black leather too and looking good. And Harry looked so happy to be up there performing, just beaming like a lighthouse, so overall- good good stuff, I just keep on dancin!

The real bombshell of the performance though was subtle and needed confirmation after for the excitement to really hit-- it was Sarah drumming decked out in tight black leather and visibly pregnant!! That’s right, band drummer Sarah Jones is PREGNANT by (Grammy Award winning) guitarist Mitch, there’s a HARRY STYLES BAND BABY on the way!!!! WHAT A NIGHT! It wasn’t enough for Harry to find love in his own band, he’s somehow cupid-ing that energy all over the place and spreading it around, AMAZING!

And Liam comes through with not just a sweet congratulations for Harry (“what a huge moment, proud to be your brother” awwww) but also the final word on the performance look- goddammit it IS one of the rejected Best Song Ever video looks, LMAOOOO. But did he tag HSHQ instead of Harry directly in acknowledgment of how the awards system really works and that they are all to be congratulated or simply because it was easier? We will never know.

Additional tidbits-- bassist Hynes was apparently playing creative director Molly Hawkins’ dad’s bass- did we know her dad was a famous bassist who played with Fleetwood Mac and many other 70s stars?! If I did I had definitely forgotten! And more Molly news-- she’s also pregnant!! Harry will soon be surrounded by quarantine babies, dreams really coming true huh? Harry posted a pic of himself with Mitch and Devonte looking very cooool, we saw the ceramic watermelons label execs were sent for the WS release last year, and Rebecca Ferguson who knows 1D from way back when (and has recently drawn attention for talking frankly about how fucked up the industry is and about having seen unnamed boy band members literally slammed against the wall by their management) congratulated Harry and posted a couple of baby pop star Harry pics, cuuuute. Louis’ merch handlers, in response to no complaints whatsoever, sent out emails apologizing. They say they’ve run out of lanyards which were meant to be sent out so they will “be adding a freebie which we know you’ll enjoy” to affected customers’ orders. That is sucky about the lanyards but that’s customer care! Niall posted about his cool bright limited edition merch to remind that it will be gone gone gone tonight and also shared a pretty and touching picture from a the large anti violence rally held in London to protest the killing of Sarah Everard today. And finally some good advice from Bebe Rexha, loved by larries; she says she loves us right back but please don’t kill anyone for not streaming her new song! Yes good plan.

#grammy award winner #harry styles #liam payne #niall horan #louis tomlinson #CHASM baby (chaby)#also having a good day-- haylors! don’t begrudge them their excitement they haven’t been fed in like 8 years #let them carry on about Harry and Taylor actually sharing the same space and not being rude to each other especially if it continues to prod #the genuinely rofl hilarious analyses coming out of last night about them sending secret messages to each other in their performances #(which the other was definitely not present for whenever a celeb was present for another artists performance they did react cutaways)#15 mar 21 #harry lambert #molly hawkins #mitch rowland #sarah jones #ben winston #long post #sorrrrry

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rainbowbutterfrosting · 3 years ago

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The Revived - Chapter 20: Some Light Reading

This is chapter 20 of the Dream SMP multichapter fic @dramaticsnakes and I wrote together! I hope you’ll enjoy!

AO3

Read in order (on Tumblr)

Characters in this chapter: Wilbur, Ghostbur

Word count: 4,137

Cw: A lot of pain, inflicting pain, tensions between characters, food/eating

Fic summary: Wilbur was alive, and it was such a magnificent feeling, that made his mind spark with anticipation. It didn’t take long, however, for Wilbur to realize that this new breath of life, was not just his own. An echo-y voice hides in the back of his mind, and before he knows it, the transparent version of him he saw at the endless train station, is a lot more ingrained than he’d expected him to be.

And Wilbur really shouldn’t care. Because he’d be damned, if he spent the life he’d awaited for so long, babysitting a lost cause of a ghost, stuck in the very same limbo Wilbur spent so long in. It was an even exchange, and one Wilbur wasn’t going to mess with. Why exactly he ends up setting out to get the ghost out of his mind, in order to save the both of them, however, is beyond him. And perhaps Wilbur’s past isn’t as easy to leave behind, as he’d hoped it would be.

It was not an entirely pleasant experience to wake up, lying on the floor with his leg in a strange elevated position. In fact, he wouldn’t have been entirely convinced he’d woken up at all, if it wasn’t for the wave of pain bursting through his head. It was pounding, and his vision was blurry enough for him to almost believe he was sitting on a chair, blindfolded again.

There was no one around to punch him though. Just a huge empty bunker, and a smell of scattered paper. He didn’t have the slightest clue what time it was, or for how long he’d slept. As he squinted at his surroundings, there wasn’t the slightest hint of natural light. Just the torches above him.

There was silence.

“Ghostbur?” he said, his voice hushed.

“Oh! You’re awake! Good morning.” The ghost’s words were quick, though tinted with relief. There was something exhausted about them too, however. Wilbur got up from the floor, crawling back to the chair. He sat down on it, getting a better view of the room. “How are you feeling?”

Wilbur cracked his neck, stretching his arms. “Wonderful,” he said.

“Actually?”

Wilbur tensed up, closing his eyes momentarily. He took a deep breath. “No. Not really.”

There was a sigh from Ghostbur, but it wasn’t one of annoyance. It was rather melancholic. Relieved, perhaps. “Yeah… Me neither.”

While the words weren’t exactly good news, Wilbur’s lips curved up just slightly. Perhaps it was just the honesty. There was something silent and intimate about the words, breaking through the silence. The mutual pain. Not that that was too comforting in the long run. “Shit, my head hurts,” he noted, not necessarily to anyone but the empty room, placing a hand on his forehead.

“Mhm...” Ghostbur said, and everything indicated he was feeling it too.

They sat there in a less uncomfortable silence, Wilbur’s limbs heavy, as he looked at his bandaged leg. The regeneration potion had helped quite a bit, he realized as he tried to move it, but he still doubted he’d be able to stand on it confidently. He noticed some dryness leftover from a few tears right underneath his eye. He froze. “Ghostbur?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you… If I cry, do you feel it?” It was a risky and perhaps vulnerable question. The mention of the tears only seemed to make his head pound more. For a moment he was almost thankful everything was far too blurry for him to think properly.

“I don’t know.” Ghostbur said, with far more nonchalance than what was probably deserved, “My face often burns anyway.” He paused, as if he only just then realized what he was saying, “I mean, that’s okay though! It doesn’t feel so bad when it’s on the face anymore.”

The words sent an unwelcome shiver down Wilbur’s spine. He went quiet for a few breaths, unsure what to say. I’m sorry, he felt he should say, but it didn’t taste familiar enough. I can help you, he considered, but he realized it was yet another empty promise. Thank you, he wanted to say, but it was far too vague, and far too broad, and he wasn’t thanking Ghostbur for feeling pain. None of it sat right with him. He shook his head. “Is there anything you wanna do?” he asked instead.

Ghostbur let out a breath. “What can we do?”

And wasn’t that an excellent question? Wilbur closed his eyes.

“Should we… Should we find someone?” Ghostbur asked.

Wilbur looked at his leg. He looked to the books, filled to the brim with information. He looked at the food readily available to him. He bit his lip. “I… I don’t think it’d be safe while my leg is still healing.”

“Oh, right, right,” Ghostbur said, sounding mildly disappointed, but it wasn’t too noticeable.

“There are some books we could read,” Wilbur tried, feeling as if it was a bit of a weak offer.

“I like books,” Ghostbur said, and Wilbur wasn’t sure if it was entirely sincere or not. Then, the tone turned softer. As if a pleasant memory passed by. “I used to write books.”

“Really?” Wilbur asked, tilting his head.

“I had a library! I wrote things down, and I read all the history books I could find. Tried to organize it all,” Ghostbur explained, sounding a little more excited at each word.

As Ghostbur spoke about it, Wilbur found some faint memories in the back of his mind. Organizing books, and writing down new information. Searching for something. “Did you like history?” Wilbur asked, and for an absurd moment he felt like an actor, asking someone if they enjoyed their latest movie. He huffed at the thought.

“I did. I tried to figure out what you did when you were alive. Everyone looked at me in different ways, and I-” he trailed off for a moment, “I don’t know, but I did enjoy reading.”

“I wonder if there is anything you wrote in here,” Wilbur mused, trying to ignore his own curiosity.

“I don’t think so. Most of them were destroyed when-” He abruptly stopped talking, the last syllable sounding strained.

“When what?”

“My head hurts,” Ghostbur simply replied.

Wilbur slowly nodded, not quite sure what to make of the lack of an answer. “So… To pass the time, how about we read some books here? We can find some information about the revival too, and try to figure out how to get you- how to free you, in the process,” he looked at a different spot in the air, realizing there was nowhere to make eye contact with the ghost. “How does that sound?”

“Okay!” Ghostbur said, “That sounds good.”

He could finally get started on the work. It was something Wilbur was itching to do. He was itching to occupy his hands and his mind with something. His mind was still simultaneously going at thousands of miles a second, and carrying thousands of pounds with each thought. He needed something tangible. Something he could keep in his grasp.

At first, he grabbed the nearest book on the shelf. Quite a big one titled “Governments and Communities of History”. He almost dropped it as he held it in one hand, but he shakily moved it over to the table.

“Governments and Communities of History,” he told Ghostbur. He flipped inside and into the table of contents. He skimmed most of it. It started with the beginning of everything and continued to list political parties that he vaguely recognized. He flipped towards the end, hoping to find the knowledge he missed over the months he was gone. His eyes lingered onto “Eggpire” as he flipped to the corresponding page.

He cleared his throat, “Ready, Ghostie?”

“Yep!”

“This section is about the Eggpire. ‘The Eggpire is an alliance between BadBoyHalo, Antfrost, Punz, Ponk, Hannahxxrose, and Skeppy.’ Huh, I don’t really know most of them. ‘The alliance was formed on January 14, 2021 between the founders, Bad, Ant, Punz and CaptainPuffy. However Puffy is the only founder to leave. She joined Anti-Eggpire (also known as Pro-Omelette) due to a disagreement in views.’” Wilbur chuckled as his head throbbed in response, “The second name is way better.”

Ghostbur made a sound of agreement. Just as Wilbur was about to read again, he had a realization, “I think this is the same Puffy from the flower shop, but I’m not sure.”

“I think so.” Ghostbur paused. “I mean, I can’t imagine a lot of people are named Puffy.”

Wilbur nodded, “Good point.” He took a breath before continuing, “The keystone of the alliance is the crimson red egg located in Badboyhalo’s statue room. The Egg is meant to be a source of chaos and a way to subdue the rest of the server. Despite the Eggpire being formed as a military coalition by Bad with Ant, Puffy, and Punz, most members of the Eggpire have joined due to being corrupted by the Egg.”

Wilbur cringed, “Are they that bad at commanding that they couldn’t genuinely recruit people? Wait- where did the egg even come from?”

“I don’t know. Maybe there was a big red chicken that laid the red egg?”

Wilbur exhaled out of his nose to resemble a laugh, “These guys are fucking losers, who else tried to resemble me while I was gone?”

He flipped to the beginning of the book as Ghostbur chided him, “Language.”

Wilbur rolled his eyes, but his headache seemed to worsen from the action, “Pardon my French, I speak it like a bitch.” Wilbur smirked to himself as he heard Ghostbur’s upset noises.

His eyes glossed the table of contents, as he barely focused on the words. He exhaled sharply as his mind settled on L’Sandberg? No- that couldn’t be right. It was L’Manberg and it was long gone.

He flipped to the page to verify it, before seeing the text that he mumbled out loud, “L'Sandberg (formerly L'Puffyberg and L'Puffberg) is a nation created by BadBoyHalo weeks after the end of the Eggpire.” It oddly reminded him of himself. Starting L’Manberg then creating Pogtopia because it was taken away. L’Sandberg was even named in an odd reference to L’Manberg, perhaps he would have to check the place out.

He was about to read the next part as he reread the previous lines. A strange familiarity ran through his mind. “I’ve heard of this Badboyhalo guy, but there’s no way he’s the same dude that would create a nation along with a cult-y alliance.” The only person he could picture as he read the name was a demon that dressed in red and black. He saw him bumbling around the streets with a blue man with shining skin.

While they’d had small conversations before, he wasn’t even a hundred percent sure about his name. Part of him wanted to call him SaintsofGames, which he assumed might’ve been his actual name, or perhaps an older title.

He tried to imagine the friendly demon who cooked muffins on Saturdays being a general, but all he got out of return was the throb in his head to increase. “Have you ever heard of Badboyhalo?”

Ghostbur thought for a moment, “Yeah, I think Tommy mentioned him once? I don’t really remember all the details though.”

Wilbur hummed, “He seems neat.”

“Wilby?”

Wilbur looked up from the book and into thin air, “Yeah?”

Ghostbur whined out, “My head hurts.”

Wilbur nodded, but winced as it somehow worsened the headache. “Mine as well.”

“Do we got any… I don’t know what it’s called but it’s sweet drink.”

At Ghostbur’s words, Wilbur’s stomach growled. “I don’t know, but I’m gonna see if I can find something to eat.” Wilbur faintly chuckled, “That’s probably why I’ve got this killer headache.”

Ghostbur made a small hum of agreement as Wilbur awkwardly realized that he would have to walk to get food. He moved from the chair, hissing in pain as positioned himself to stand on his uninjured leg. He slightly toppled from the unbalance, but didn’t have too many problems staying steady.

“Alright, I’m gonna warn you now that it might hurt.”

Ghostbur’s voice was laced with panic, “Wait, what are you doing now?”

“Don’t worry too much. I’m just walking around in the bunker,” Wilbur reassured. “My leg still hurts so I might fall or something.”

Ghostbur sounded displeased, “Okay, just make sure to be careful.”

“I will.” His eyes searched the room for possible food. He smiled as he remembered the carrots and melons growing downstairs. That smile quickly faded when he thought about the idea of stairs.

He hopped over to the general direction of the stairs, occasionally stopping to maintain his balance once again. At the final step he nearly stumbled, but caught himself just in time by grasping at the nearest wall. He was reminded of the exhaustion that followed his trip to Phil’s house when he’d just returned. It seemed like ages ago by now. He tried not to let the thought linger.

His leg ached slightly as he limped along to the crops. He licked his lips, as he looked at the melons that only served to remind him of his hunger much more. It occurred to him that it had been a while since he last ate. In fact, he had no clue exactly how long it had been at this point, the amount of sleep he’d gotten remaining a mystery to him. Instead of dwelling on that, he reached down at a melon, carving it into several pieces. He didn’t do a particularly great job at it, but it hardly mattered.

He saw himself down on the nearest chair, eating each piece at an impressive pace. The sweet taste seemed to get to his entire body, working almost as many wonders as a potion would.

For a strange moment, Wilbur wondered if the water in the watermelon would cause any harm to the ghost. He couldn’t hear any screams nor pleas, which was fortunate. Being able to consume anything at all was most certainly a plus. To be fair, if the water there was enough, saliva likely would too, and that was a can of worms that Wilbur didn’t have the brain power to consider even the hypothetical of.

Once Wilbur had devoured the entire melon, he felt just a little more at ease. He felt less dizzy, and his body and mind seemed more connected than before.

While the throbbing in his head had ended, he noticed the pain in his leg. He closed his eyes for a small moment as he tried to think of a solution. He did all the medical treatment he really could at this stage. He fiddled with the rind of one of the melons before he realized he could make a potion of instant health.

Attempting to start a drug empire turned out to be helpful after all.

He ran through the materials he needed in his head. Netherwart, blaze power, and a glistening melon. He stood up but his vision swarmed with black spots for a few moments. His stable leg shook as he leaned against the wall. It stopped seconds later, but he was filled with exhaustion that told him to forget about the potion.

Yet, he hopped to a chest near the farm. It wasn’t far away, but the action by itself seemed laborious. He shuffled through it, but found nothing of use. He hopped over to the stairs, quickly grabbing two nether warts from the farm before he started going up.

It was a long process, but he eventually made it up the stairs. He took a shaky breath as Ghostbur chimed in, “We’re still in the bunker right?”

Wilbur nodded, “Yeah, back up the stairs.”

“So are we doing more reading?” A slight boredom filled Ghostbur’s voice, but Wilbur couldn’t tell if it just arrived or if it had been there for the whole day.

Wilbur hopped to Tubbo’s chest before leaning against the wall once more. “Makin’ potions.”

Ghostbur softly gasped, “Oh, I’ve never done that before! I saw Phil and Techie doing it once though.”

“Sounds neat,” Wilbur responded, half-paying attention while looking through the chest. He pushed around some of the items in there before finding three blaze rods with a few stacks of cobblestone shuffled around. He spotted the crafting table next to the chest and he quickly melded the items together into a brewing stand. He held the brewing stand normally as he put the spare blaze rods in his coat pocket.

He closed the chest and opened the one next to it. Twenty iron ore, random concrete blocks, and miscellaneous mob drops. He was about to close it when he saw a yellow shine under some rotten flesh. Wilbur let out an exhale of relief, “We’ve got all the stuff we need.”

Ghostbur excitedly clapped, “How do you make potions?”

Wilbur put the brewing stand down on the crafting table. “Well, you start with oh fu- n! Fun, fun, yes.” He didn’t know why he censored the swear in front of Ghostbur, but it somehow felt better than letting out a curse. “I forgot the glass bottles.”

“That doesn’t sound very fun.”

Wilbur let out a dry chuckle, “You’re right.” Wilbur thought for a moment, “There might be some in the chest next to that cauldron.” His eyes ran over the cauldron that he didn’t even know was filled or not. He pursed his lips. His uninjured leg was shaking slightly, but he didn’t exactly have another option. Well- he could always suffer. Yet that would mean the suffering of Ghostbur as well.

He didn’t exactly care about the ghost, but he generally preferred not hearing his pleas. He quickly hopped over to the cauldron, only to collapse at the wall behind it. He closed his eyes tightly, wishing to any possible deity out there that there was water in the iron container.

He swung his hand inside the cauldron, not daring to look inside, as if the water would disappear if he did. He felt water about half-way into the swing as he smiled. However, the instant he did that, he heard a cry of agony in his mind that instantly made him open his eyes and recoil, immediately taking his hand out of the water. “Ghostbur what’s-” Ghostbur’s previous words ran through his mind quicker than he could even process them.

It- Water burns me. I’m sorry I just didn’t expect it.

As regret plagued his mind, Ghostbur’s whimpers followed alongside them. The whimpers that reminded him of his agreement with the ghost.

W-warn me next time?

Sure.

Although he hadn’t intended to hurt Ghostbur, guilt overtook him. “Ghostbur, I-” forgot about the really important thing that hurts you if I forget! I just don’t care about you at all!

The familiar cynicism made him externally cringe. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I- I know. It- it hurts, Wil.”

Wilbur somberly nodded, “I know, I can’t do anything about it right now.” Wilbur hated how pathetic his words sounded.

Ghostbur’s typical pleas filled his mind before the pattern was interrupted, “C- could you dry it off?” It took a second for Wilbur to realize what the ghost was saying with the sobs intertwined in the shaky words. But as soon as he deciphered it, he immediately took his hand to his pants, rubbing it to make sure most of the water was off.

It didn’t take long for all of the water to be gone as he hesitantly spoke, “How does it feel now?”

“Better than before.”

Wilbur weakly pulled his body up against the wall. He opened the chest next to him to find it was full of glass bottles. He grabbed three of them out as he closed the chest and put the brewing stand on top. He tried to fill the bottles up in the cauldron, but found that his usual method involved dunking his whole hand into the water.

He attempted to just tip the bottle so more water would enter, but upon pulling the glass bottle back up, he sighed. He knew from his early days that you needed a certain amount of water in order for the potion to properly work. Too much water made the solution diluted, causing the effect to be much more muted than it should be. Too little water made your body feel off the rest of the day, assuming the potion even works in the first place.

“Ghostbur?” He felt an odd pressure on his chest as he imagined the ghost’s whispers from before.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve… I’ve gotta dunk my hand in water again.” He could feel the ghost recoil.

“Alright,” Ghostbur took a shaky breath. “Make it quick if you can.”

“I will.” Wilbur exhaled slowly himself. Although it wouldn’t hurt Wilbur, he felt a sense of unease as he quickly dipped his hand in the water. A muffled groan echoed in his mind. He looked towards the other empty bottles in his hand as he slightly frowned.

“Ghostie, I won’t make you do anything, but I’ve gotta ask you something.” Wilbur didn’t wait for a response as he continued, “The pain you felt was from me filling up one bottle. I could just brew with this bottle and drink the potion.” Wilbur momentarily closed his eyes as the words on his tongue tasted bitter to him, “Or I can fill up the other two bottles in case of emergencies. I won’t pressure you for either option but-”

“Wilbur, I know I should choose the extra two bottles.”

Wilbur cringed at the truth. “I mean- you don’t really have to choose that option. We could just start brewing if you’d like.”

Ghostbur sighed, “I can take it.”

Wilbur despised the words, but he responded, “Alright, my hand is going in.” He quickly filled both of the bottles, trying to ignore the muffled scream that ringed in his mind.

He forced himself to block it out as he turned back to the brewing stand, filling it with the three full bottles as Ghostbur’s noises died down. He rubbed his hand on his pants before taking the nether wart he had and putting it in at the top. Only silence greeted his ears as he remembered he needed some blaze powder to power the machine overall.

He crushed the blaze rod with ease, putting it in as the rest of the process seemed automated to him. He barely processed his movements as he soon watched as the mixture turned into a bright red, He took the glass bottle away from the stand, as he swirled the liquid around, watching it carefully. It was almost hypnotic. He held the bottle to his lips and took a deep breath. “I… I’m going to drink a health potion for my leg.” He bit his lip, “It might hurt a bit.”

“Oh.” Ghostbur said, his voice sounded a little quiet, “Okay, I’m ready.”

Wilbur nodded even if the ghost couldn’t see him, and took a large sip from the bottle. He kept drinking, not removing the bottle from his lips. His throat was burning at the sensation. He closed his eyes tightly, feeling the pain spread through his body, as if the headache from before had decided to pound in his leg instead of his head. His blood felt as if it had momentarily been replaced by the burning potion, removing his attention from anything but it. He tried to breathe his way through it, each breath coming through as a quick hiss.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed, before the pain transitioned into a comforting warmth. He opened his eyes again, trying to step down on his leg. The pain had decreased significantly. He let out a relieved breath, and gave an accomplished smile. “It’s much easier to walk now,” he said.

“Is your leg better?” Ghostbur asked hopefully, “Are you going to leave the bunker soon?”

Wilbur frowned. He shook his head. “Not yet,” he said. “The leg could still use some time to heal and…” he looked at the bookshelves above, “There might still be some information we can use here.”

“Right.” Ghostbur said, suddenly sounding determined, “That makes sense.”

Wilbur tried to chuckle, though it came out so silently and breathlessly, that it was hardly a noise at all. He took a step on his much more useful leg, feeling relieved as he could walk more or less without limping. He walked to some chests he hadn’t looked at yet, and rummaged through them. If he was planning on staying in the bunker for longer, it would be optimal to know what supplies he had available to him. He was reminded of his exile, before Pogtopia was built, as he and Tommy assessed their remaining supplies, to figure out what they had to work with. His heart became just a little heavier at the thought, and he decided to put the thought away, for as long as he could.

Among the most noteworthy items he found was a clock at the bottom of one of the chests. It looked old, as if someone had forgotten they’d put it there in the first place. Wilbur picked it up, inspecting each side of it. The hands of the clock moved ahead each second, making a rhythmic little ‘tick’ at each step. The sound was comforting to him somehow, ringing through the silence of the solitary bunker.

It read 5am.

It took Wilbur a few moments to figure out if the clock was functional and accurate, though he eventually concluded that it was highly probable. He wasn’t sure when he’d fallen asleep, nor for how long, but at least this would let him keep track of the now. Slowly, he walked up the stairs again, much more successfully this time.

As he reached the bookshelves, he stopped, staring at the nearest empty wall. There was a faint ticking from the clock in his hands, and he felt as if he was staring into nothingness. Staring at a silent wall. A half-bent nail was firmly placed on it. Gently, Wilbur placed the clock on it, until it was hanging there safely. He sat down on the chair, and allowed his eyes to close, as he centered his mind. He had a goal in mind, and as soon as possible, a plan would be shaped from the muddled thoughts.

It was time to get to work.

#dream smp #dsmp #c!wilbur #ghostbur #ghostbur angst #dream smp fic #c!wilbur soot #the revived #revivebur

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