#red court
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The Hint That The World Gets Bigger
Ok, so a lot of reviewers and Dresden Files fans say that you have to wait a while for the series to go from small, contained cases to a massive urban fantasy world that encompasses as much as a lot of the epic fantasies in terms of worldbuilding. And while it would be entirely disingenuous to say that this is the book where the massive expansion actually takes place, this is very much the first book where you get a clear view that the world of the Dresden Files is bigger than Chicago's underbelly. It's also where the subgenres that I'm sure this series was sold on--noir, hardboiled detective fiction--start to really clash with the fantasy elements. It's also where I really had to bite my tongue and make a decision about whether I was willing to let violence against women slide in favor of what is good about the series. I let it go way too long, probably. But let's talk Grave Peril.
*As always, SPOILERS ABOUND below the break*
The TLDR of this book is that thanks to his chivalristic dick thinking, Harry kicks off a massive war between the Red Court Vampires and the White Council that will remain a massive plot point in the series until Changes. But the centerpeice of this book that really tells the canny reader that the world is going to exponentially grow is Bianca St. Claire's ball. I am low-key reminded of Robert Jordan's famous Darkfriend Social, because this thing has a dress code (Harry also decides to be a smartass about the dress code and shows up dressed as a cheesy vampire, which...goddammit Harry), it has archaic hospitality rules, it has a very uncomfortable passive aggressive gift section, and it also has significant repercussions throughout the rest of the series.
This is where we really get introduced to the three Vampire Courts--Red, White, and Black--and we also get hints of other organizations, groups, and players. In no particular order, we get the Knights of the Cross, Ferrovax, Mavra (who technically falls under Blampire but is an antagonist in her own right), The Nightmare/Leonid Kravos, and Auntie Lea (we get more of the Sidhe courts in the next book, but the Leanansidhe being here nods to that expansion).
This party really shows us the beginnings of what will be a common structure of the different world in the fantasy parts of this urban fantasy. There are three vampire courts, we will get to see that each Sidhe court has three layers, and there are eventually three wizarding councils running around. There are also always three knights of the cross, and thirty potential Denarians. The structures are very similar with varied set dressing, and this book really primes readers to understand what the wider world is going to look like and how the threads cross. For such an early book, that level of prep and education about the world is pretty impressive, and the different courts and factions are creatively and engagingly written.
Then we come back to the noirish/hardboiled genre roots of the book, because quite literally this book victimizes like six different women. We have Lydia (who is functionally not gonna matter beyond this book) who is handed off to be sacrified to unmake Amoracchius, we have Justine (who is going to be important) who is full-on brutalized by the red court, we have Kravos sticking his fingers in Murphy's brain, we have Susan who is tricked by Auntie Lea and half-turned into a vampire, and we have Charity freaking Carpenter who is kindapped and attempted murdered WHILE NINE MONTHS PREGNANT. We're really not at fridging levels for most of these (although I'd argue that Lydia and Justine get more or less fridged), but it's a real clear escalation from the previous two books, and you really have to make a conscious decision about whether or not you're cool with this level of violence against women if you're going to keep going with the books. I justified it with the noir and hardboiled roots, plus I was pulled in by the world and the intrigue, but honestly, there are books that do that well without these levels of chivalry and chauvanism.
This book and the next are really setup books for how much the word will continue to expand, and it sets the first long-term conflict we see in the series, and the war against the Red Court is pretty significant. It also sets up the long-term tension with Harry and Susan, which will also weave in through the next like, eight books. The setups are really what stick in my head with this book, because the plot is often a bit convoluted and doesn't tend to stick in my head on its own; it really falls into the amorphous mass of the early Dresden Books. I think it literally takes until somewhere in Death Masks and Blood Rites for the books to start standing on their own in my head. But the world is well done enough that I was hooked and kept on reading.
#jim butcher#the dresden files#dresden files#grave peril#harry dresden#karrin murphy#michael carpenter#red court#red court vampires#books & libraries#books and reading#books and novels#books#book recommendations#urban fantasy#detective fiction#hardboiled detective fiction#noir fiction#adult fantasy novel
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Hc: Harry and Justine are friends not just because of Thomas but also because of trauma bonding because of the red court they will call each other up when they need comfort or when Thomas tells them something that may have triggered a memory from it and they will just talk or sit together in silence just to know that they made it out alright-ish
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Toxic Personality
Fighting the Red Court with the Fellowship of St. Giles and making plant puns. Another Dresden Files ttrpg character.
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First <- Part 15 <- Part 16 -> Part 17
Masterpost
#DC#DC Comics#Dick Grayson#Bruce Wayne#Tim Drake#Damian Wayne#Jason Todd#Cassandra Cain#Barbara Gordon#Lex Luthor#Slade Wilson#Court of Owls#Batman#Nightwing#Robin#Red Hood#William Cobb#Red Robin#Batgirl
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tim: wish i could go guys, but im on the no-fly list
cassie: what?? why?
tim: probs because of that time i broke into the pentagon for sillies
kon: YOU DID WHAT?!
tim: that or the war crimes i committed in the middle east and europe, idk pick one
bart: that checks lol
#tim: not worth it guys a demon lord assassin keeps trying to court me now#dc#tim drake#cassie sandsmark#kon el kent#bart allen#robin#red robin#wonder girl#superboy#impulse#bernard dowd#ra’s al ghul
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Food is Good for the Core
~
Jason met Danny months ago when he stopped by one of the diners,
Danny was on his lunch break about to eat his ecto infused food when he felt someone with a starving proto-core enter his dinner, his head snapped towards the entrance his gaze locking onto a rather tall man with the expression of someone who was hangry for lack of better words.
His core chirped a greeting, he felt the mans proto-core rumble a barely there response.
The man stumbled towards him his eyes flashing green
"Wha-who are you?"
Once he was close enough Danny grabbed his sleeve and pulled him down onto the seat next to him, pushing his food towards him.
"There you go Firecracker, you look like you really need it"
Jason was about to protest not sure what was even happening when the smell of the food hit him, next thing he knows he's swallowing the last bite.
He leaned back staring
Just staring
He had't felt this satiated and calm since, well since a very long time.
"My name is Jason not Firecracker , now what the hell was in that? Why did I react like that?"
"Well Firecracker, my name is Danny and please tell me that you know that you ..uh died?"
-Time Skip-
"-And so basically you need ecto to be healthy and happy, did you understand all that?"
"Where will I need to go to find that?"
"No worries big guy, I'll make you the food free of charge and in the future I'll start showing you how to properly make it. Also you need to be careful with the ecto food, normal humans tend to act weird even with just a little taste to our foods."
~
Danny & Jason eating together getting along
Dick: "My baby brother has a friend and didn't tell me!"
~
Danny & Jason cooking together: "Oh that's why they say food is the way to a man's heart"
~
Danny & Jason being smitten with one another & starting to unconsciously do ghost courting things.
Oracle watching from the cameras: "What the fuck?!"
~
Dick being nosy realizing that Jason's new boyfriend is putting something into the food Jason and he eat that goes into an extremely secure case.
Dick being suspicious and investigating, manages to steal a bite feels super loopy and weird for the next few days
Dick: "I've connected the dots!"
Jason: "You didn't connect shit."
Dick: "I've connected them!"
Dick thinks they're doing drugs
~
Dick slamming the door open: "Jason is doing drugs!"
Tim: "That doesn't sound like him are you sure?"
Dick on the ground wailing
Tim: "..."
~
Just an Idea
#glowy-death-ideas#danny phantom#jason todd x danny fenton#ghost courting#shenanigans#dc x dp#dpxdc#batman#danny fenton#dp x dc crossover#dc x dp crossover#dc x dp prompt#prompt fill#story prompt#prompts#writing prompt#oracle#nightwing#dick grayson#batfamily#batbros#bat shenanigans#tim drake#red robin#jason todd#ghosts#ghost#ghost core#dp x dc
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Dc x Dp Prompt #21: Petition to the King
I haven’t done one of these in a while so here we go:
AU where Thomas and Martha Wayne live in the Ghost Zone version of Gotham and have been collecting signatures from the other ghosts there for a few years now. Since the Ghost Prince Phantom has finally come of age and is now able to hold court/assemblies they approach him with their official petition and beseech him: Please allow them avenge their grandson and countless other souls, who’ve signed agreeing to the petition, to haunt and torment the Joker for the rest of his living days. May he never find peace even in sleep, even in death.
Danny being the gracious prince he is agrees. Even going as far as to take the names of literally everyone on the list and create a haunting rotation, for who gets to torment the Joker on which days, with Thomas and Martha having first dibs.
The grandson in question is a revenant and thus also eligible to be put on the haunting rotation so Danny decides to reach out and go to Gotham himself and ask if he wants to haunt the Joker with his grandparents. Thomas and Martha tag along bc they wanna visit their grand-babies, their son, and their partner who raised him.
Jason isn’t sure what to make of his doting ghostly grandparents, the beautiful interdimensional king, or the apparent laundry list of people ready to mess with the Joker’s mind, but hey! If he can’t kill the Joker, eternal torment isn’t a bad deal to swing!
#dc x dp#thomas wayne#martha wayne#thomas and martha wayne#danny phantom#danny fenton#jason todd#red hood#Thomas and Martha want to avenge their grandson#They make an official appeal in the royal court to eternally torment the Joker#Ghostly Gotham is full of people with an ax to grind with a Joker#fuck the Joker#dead on main perhaps?#implied pennywaynes#I maintain that Thomas and Martha Wayne would be down for murder if they didn’t think it wasn’t enough punishment#ghost prince danny#strega’s dc x dp prompt
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(Un)fortunate Courting (Request)
Requested by @silverblueglitter
Original Prompt Post this is based on by @diabolichare
A/N: Thank you for the request! I hope this will not disappoint. I am slowly getting back into the grove of writing and out of my block. Also on a side note I am not posting / writing as much right now because work is currently keeping me busy.
Danny was very sure he was doing everything right in regards to ghost culture. Clockwork and Pandora had been educating him very well on that. Sure they did it with some ominous explanation in regards to his future but Danny had shrugged that off. Clockwork had always had a way with words that didn't make sense but somehow did too. Now as he had learned if a ghost wants to cross through another ghosts haunt an offering needs to be made. Ideally the offering is in regards to something the other ghosts likes.
So if he would need, for example, cross through Embers haunt, he would offer her something like guitar strings or something other music related stuff that could be useful to her obsession. With that logic, Danny knew that if he wanted to use the short cut to his collage through Red Hoods haunt he would need to offer the other something. Like he had offered something to Lady Gotham for his stay in Gotham for his collage education. The thing was he would have to offer Red Hood something every time he needed to go through the others haunt, unlike with Lady Gotham who had just accepted a single offer since he wasn't constantly going in and out of her haunt.
But that also left him with what to get the other Halfa as offering.
He had contemplated offering something Red Hood might need for his duty. You know? Maybe some self engineered bullets he could use against ghosts, though Danny knew that was probably unnecessary considering Gotham's protector spirit, Lady Gotham, had a pretty good handle on everything here. Which good, because that meant Danny could fully focused on his studies for once.
That was until Danny realized how much the core of that other Halfa was malnourished. Which gave Danny the perfect chance to catch two ghosts with one thermos, okay bad joke. But seriously, that gave Danny an idea of what to offer for his right of passage through the others haunt. So he made simple care packages that would help the other Halfa. He had thought about supplying some Ecto-Dejecto directly but that felt a little to on the nose and someone who didn't know his family would probably think Danny insane, as if there weren't enough people in his collage thinking that already. Besides he was in Gotham and with villains like Scarecrow and Joker he didn't think a syringe with glowing green contents would be a trustworthy offering.
Anyway, Danny decided to be a bit more discreet, infusing ectoplasm into simple foods, that most importantly, COULD NOT COME ALIVE. So Danny's care packaged ended up consisting of chocolates, snacks and other sweets that would NOT start fighting back. He also figured out how to mix ectoplasm into drinks so it wouldn't taste to overwhelming.
Danny did not anticipate the side effect offerings like that would have or realise what his offerings looked like to someone who did not know about ghost culture.
Jason was torn as he found the n-ed little present box during his patrol route with a little card stating it was for him. He eyed the box having gotten familiar with these boxes over the past month. He lifted the lid and yep.... chocolates.
"Again?" his distorted voice came through his voice modulator as he eyed the chocolates suspiciously. Either he had a very insistent admirer or one of his enemies cooked up a new idea to make him paranoid. Not like his brothers didn't joke about him getting Bruce's paranoia when he had run the sixth box of chocolates through the substance tester to figure out if someone was trying to poison him.
Turned out poison was not in the chocolates but something else. An unknown substance but in small dosages. Jason was currently allowing Tim to run wild in figuring out what was mixed into the chocolates. Also the seasoned vigilante had to admit, that there was something tempting about these sweets. Like something inside him really urged him to eat them. It was only his self-restraint and discipline that helped him resist the urge to taste test some of these chocolates.
Also sometimes there were drink in these packages too. Yes, Jason had run them through the tester too and got the same results like with the sweets and chocolates. No poison but that other strange substance. At first Jason didn't really want to bother with it but these boxes appeared every damn night when he was on patrol, but strangle not on weekend or holidays.
"Oh got another little present, Little Wing!" Jason barely turned around as his older brother dropped onto the roof next to him. "Chocolates this time! How cute! They must really love you!"
Sometimes Jason wished his helmet could portray emotions better as he gave Dick a deadpan stare. "More like wanting to poison me." He muttered his voice changer doing nothing to support the sarcasm in his voice.
"You have to admit it is kind of cute! You have a little fan or admirer! And look these chocolates are even heart shaped! Oh and pralines are in there too!" Dick gushed on about Jason's admirer, while Jason rolled his eyes under his helmet. It would be cute if there wasn't an unknown substance mixed into the stuff left for him. Though he had to admit, whoever left that stuff was getting creative. From what Jason saw they rarely used the same brand of chocolates or sweets to give to him twice. Like they were trying to figure out what he liked. For a brief moment that made Jason wonder, if he actually ate one of these for once, would his admirer present him with the same brand again the next night?
He shock that thought off, no way was he going to eat something with an unknown substance in it. So instead he shoved the box at Dick. "Take that to the cave Dickibird. Gives Pretender more materials to test with."
Dick, to his credit stopped gushing for at that and chuckled. "Can do, but seriously though, what did Oracle say. Did she catch your little admirer on the security cameras at least."
Shaking his head Jason let out a sigh. "No, its like these boxes appear out of nowhere."
"Well at least they are harmless."
"For now." He grunted in response. While they didn't pose a danger, Jason didn't like the implications behind their appearances. For one no matter how much he changed up his patrol routes, these boxes would still appear. There is no video proof of someone placing the boxes. They just appear out of thin air or roofs or his path right when he comes by. If he could believe that the videos that Barbara had showed him weren't manipulated then they just appeared like a couple of seconds before he would find them.
It was suspicious and Jason was determined to find out who leaves them.
Danny hummed his latest earworm song, which happed to be Embers newest hit in the Ghost Zone, as he prepared his next offering to Red Hood. He had thought about leaving these boxes by Red Hoods Safe house during the day on his way to collage but he figured with his own history of being a hero. Secret identities were important and should not be revealed against the others wish.
This time he had gotten the expensive brand of pralines. He hoped Hood would actually like them and eat them hopefully. Danny threaded the moment he would have to try infusing ectoplasm into something other than safe sweets, chocolates and snacks that won't come alive if he didn't find something Hood would eat soon.
The Halfa was so focused on his task of infusing the pralines with ectoplasm that he did not notice the arrival of three of his old ghost rogues, until he got grapped by the collar and throw across his own appartment.
"OW! What the...?!"
"Long Time not seen Pelt." Danny blinked as Skulker stood over him, Ember and Wulf a bit further behind. Wulfs presence explained how the other two managed to show up in his place.
"What are you guys doing here?" He was so not up for a round of ghost body that could potentially destroy his flat.
"Fixing your love life." Ember grinned down at him with Wulf nodding.
"My love life...." Something was definitely wrong. Danny does not remember currently dating anyone. He also didn't have crush, well not a obvious one he thought at least. He was distinctively pushing way that fleeting image of Red Hood out of his mind.
"Yeas your love life Baby Boop." Ember reaffirmed. "Didn't the old ghosts teach you anything. You don't use the human of giving presents when you court a ghost!"
"I... what?" Danny's brain currently really had trouble catching up with what was going on.
"Pelt you need to assert yourself, fight your damn object of attention to proof your worth." Skulker added arms crossed.
"Don't worry we will help you! So you wont fail!" Ember added.
Before Danny could answer or ask what the hell they were going on about though Skulker grabbed him by the back of his collar again and promptly dragged Danny long with him flying out of his flat to who knows where. Distinctive Danny swore he heard laughing that sounded suspiciously like Lady Gotham.
"WAIT SKULKER!" The shout escaped him as his brain finally caught up but before he could go ghost and actually do something he was thrown against someone. Whoever he landed on let out a deep 'oof' that sounded distorted and Danny had a sinking feeling as he hurriedly sat up and came face to face with Red Hood.
"Aw shit...." Danny muttered instantly choosing to turn invisible and hoping that Red Hood had nod seen him long enough to get recognised, worst of all Skulker had dragged him all the way to Hoods haunt when Danny didn't even have an offering! Now he owned Hood two offerings!
"What are you doing Pelt! You are supposed to challenge for the right of courtship first! The courtship presents come later!" Skulker shouted at Danny to which while still invisible Danny choose to flip the other ghost off. Something he would have never done as teen but now that he had come to some sort of understanding with his former rogues was not rare happening, as long as Jazz wasn't there to witness it.
Meanwhile Jason was sitting utterly confused on the roof now, just a moment ago a twig of a man had landed on him and he had seen the other guy for a brief moment before he had disappeared out of nowhere again. He grumbled muttered curses and knew he would have to go though the video footage of his helmet to get a clearer picture of what or rather who had knocked him over.
But he had a feeling it was related to the boxes of sweets and chocolates.
#danny fenton#danny phantom#dp x dc#dpxdc#dcxdp#jason todd#skulker#ember#crossover#ghost courting#it breeds misunderstanding#Danny is just trying to be polite#he might has a little crush on Red Hood#Jason thinks someone is messing with him#or he does have a admirer that is borderline a stalker#His brothers find it funny though#He doesn't trust the offerings.... yet#Dead on main#no beta we die like danny#unedited
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🔺🍁🔻Red Fall🔻🍁🔺
#gifs(edits) made by me :)#assassin1513#mystical#mystic#glitter#autumn#autumn aesthetic#autumn vibes#autumncore#autumn cozy#autumn colors#autumn court#autumn cottage#fall#fall vibes#fall aesthetic#fallcore#fall autumn#fall colors#red#dark#dark academia#dark aesthetic#dark red#leaves#autumn trees#autumn leaves#magic#fall time#fall is coming
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Jason is about to have a panic attack…
He knew that he had to finish researching and confirm those 48 hours of lost memory from last year…
but nooo… I thought I put together everything that happened during that time and left a few hours here and there with only assumptions about what happened…
and now he has the consequences in front of him… on a pair of baby seats in the middle of his living room next to a pair of diaper bags with a note…
"Emergency, take care of them for time, I'll be back
Sincerely, Danny"
and there, in those pair of seats, are 2 babies, a girl and a boy, one with blue eyes and the other reddish brown, the two children had black hair… with a white strand of hair on their heads. …
Jason isn't an idiot, he did the math…and the dates fit…so now he has to face his impending fatherhood…it's time to call Alfred….
While all this is happening Danny flies through the Infinite Realms, he now has to face the idiots who think they can challenge him for the throne.
He just hopes Ellie and Dan are okay…. Well there shouldn't be any problem, he left them with one of the strongest avenging/protecting spirits on the side of the living, plus Red Hood is known for being good with children…
He only regrets not being able to explain more in the note…
#dp x dc#dp x batman#jason todd#red hood#danny phantom#Jazz#Tucker and Sam are involved in the court of the Infinite Realms.#Ellie and Dan had to become babies to stabilize themselves#How#it's your decision#Alfred will meet his great-grandchildren?#Danny is the father of Ellie and Dan#Jason is also a father?#Paternity confusion?
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russian roulette with the boys (by boys we mean detective smokesalot, new mexico's most catholic murder suspect, and a guy who will find out hell is 800,000 other people in the next five minutes)
(stock photo & quote sources under the cut):
quote from:
youtube
stock photos from:
https://knowyourmeme.com/forums/meme-research/topics/60260-hand-pointing-gun-at-screen
https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/long-barreled-revolver-with-a-black-plastic-handle-isolated-gm880976852-245339152?searchscope=image%2Cfilm
https://www.istockphoto.com/photo/hand-pointing-a-gun-at-the-target-gm516186054-88869963
https://www.shutterstock.com/image-photo/hand-holding-revolver-gun-ready-shoot-81031411
https://www.westend61.de/en/photo/PKF00085/man-holding-gun-close-up
#tf2#team fortress 2#emesis blue#courts art#happy belated emesis blue to all those who celebrate (thursday october 31st)#was going to try to get this done by halloween but was too slow and missed it >:(#anyways if you cant tell i gave up on drawing the gun and just put the stock ref photos i was using as reference onto it.#edit: edited detective smokesalot to add more red texture since he looked too clean
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People are complaining about The Sunshine Court being less controversial than the original trilogy like babe what did you expect, it’s the Trojans
#obviously they arent drugging their own teammates like the foxes did none of them have ever even gotten a red card in exy#like queen what did you expect#all for the game#aftg#aftg fandom#aftg trilogy#aftg tsc#tsc#the sunshine court#psu foxes#usc trojans
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going insane for the recent news
#aftg#tfc#all for the game#the foxhole court#jean moreau#jeremy knox#doodles#i KNOW that usc is red and gold but alas i cant be assed
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i want a ghost courting fanfic Dead on Main
i want it to be intentional from Danny's side and Red Hood/Jason to be confused™
i want it to be where Danny moved to gotham for reasons (it's pre reveal for danny or reveal gone right) and he's met that really cute guy and ohmygod what does he do?? Ember, Kitty, Johny, Skulker? how do you court someone? what should he do???
so Danny gets Ghost Courting advice and oh.. the cute dead guy is the freaking Red Hood who Danny may or may not have had a crush on even before meeting in civvies ok that's fine he'll just proceed with the plan a leave a gift in his haunt with a little hint as to who that might be from as is only proper (thanks for advice Ember!)
#idk what im doing#dpxdc#dead on main#Danny is a mess#the revenant-possibly-a-Halfa is just too cool#he gets courting advice from his ghost friends#maybe we get a little history of how Ember and Skulker courted each other#as a treat#Red Hood has no freaking idea what's going on#he gets gifts#suspicious#they are good gifts#eventually Danny gets advice from Skulker to avenge his crush#Danny is pretty sure he could do that#maybe#he has a sneaky suspicion of whom#Red Hood is confused and at this point pretty sure he's being courted???#it seems like it
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His majesty doesn't seem to know what personal space means 😔
(Wonderland au)
#one piece#shuggy#shanks#buggy#red haired shanks#buggy the clown#shanks x buggy#buggy in wonderland au#my art#my other caption idea was Shanks: 🖐| ) )Buggy: 🖐 (. )( .)#also shanks' crown can shrink when he's not in court so I dont have to make his crown the same size whenever I draw him
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hear me out: civilian deadpool au except he just keeps getting arrested for the STRANGEST THINGS (illegal ownership of a chicken? someone just dumped an egg on his street? it hatches when he’s trying to cook it for breakfast? he RAISED IT?) and matt murdock is his exhausted lawyer who has to keep telling him to shut up in the interrogation room.
does he ever actually go to jail? no, maybe probation, maybe a fine. but arrested? half sure every cop in the city is just sick of hearing about his life. every juror thinks he’s just morbidly unlucky and a tiny bit moronic.
and he is.
detective: (sigh) so you have a chicken?
wade: oh, yeah, yolko ono! she’s my pride and joy, i had a mug and a mousepad printed- *pulling out wallet pictures*
matt: wade. no.
wade: i could bring her over if you want-
matt: WADE.
one time matt has to spring wade for grand theft auto of the nice old lady he lives next doors to. the automobile he supposedly stole? a select elevated motorized wheelchair.
wade: she LENT me the chair.
detective: and how’d she do that?
wade: i broke into her backyard because i heard a thump and i thought she fell over.
matt: jesus—
wade: so she didn’t fall over. apparently it was a twig that fell on an ice chest. but she was there, and she was yelling ‘jazzy! jazzy!’ and i was wondering why she was telling me to grab her jazzy, but i wasn’t about to turn down a free jazzy. so i walk over to it, i turn it on, i hop on, i say thank you to the kind old lady, and i wheel it out of there.
matt: goddamn it, wade—
detective: you stole a permobil.
wade: pardon?
detective: the wheelchair was a permobil.
wade: she said it was a jazzy!
detective: …
detective: jazzy is her HUSBAND.
wade: …
detective: …
matt: i give up.
and the nail in everyone’s coffin? when the precinct brings in wade’s fucking kidnap victim.
peter: kidnap? me?
detective: were you or were you not kidnapped by wade wilson and driven to the middle of nowhere?
peter: listen, man, farthest wade ever drove me was to a gamestop in manhattan from queens. i don’t drive. and then i ask if we can hit a seven eleven, since i really wanted a bag of chips. but then i fall asleep in the passenger seat on the way there. and when i wake up, i’m home - he didn’t buy me the bag of chips, though.
detective: … and when state troopers spotted his car in philadelphia? with someone passed out inside?
peter: we were in philly? and he didn’t wake me up?
detective: do you seriously mean to tell me you were completely passed out for a two hour and ten minute drive?
peter: i’m a college student with rent due in a month and a new paper due every time i breathe. and wade is an idiot who doesn’t know left from right, boots up waze, says his goodbyes to the universe, and starts driving. i think there’s your case.
detective: …
detective: damn it.
#matt in court: your honor.. to put it simply my client is an idiot#team red#wade wilson#deadpool#matt murdock#daredevil#peter parker#spiderman#deadpool’s bullshit basically#civilian au#no powers au#marvel#marvel comics#spideypool#like trace amounts#— mq ☽nshit
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