#reason of state
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There is darkness all around, only emphatically red silhouettes, because the eyes see nothing more. The conspirators and their descendants are cursed. Blinding revenge and the revenge of the blinded king.
Вокруг - темнота, лишь подчёркнуто красные силуэты, ибо очи не видят ничего более. Прокляты заговорщики и их потомки. Ослепляющая месть и месть ослеплённого короля.
#reason of state#radovid#radovid v the stern#king radovid#radovid v#radovid the stern#радовид#radowid#philippa eilhart#sigismund dijkstra#vernon roche#ves#thaler#the witcher#witcher fanart#ведьмак#wiedźmin#the witcher 3#the witcher 3 wild hunt#redania
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eternally upset by the fact that there’s no button to hug people in tw3, especially after harrowing events (like the reason of state quest)
also eternally upset by. dijkstra
#geralt of rivia#vernon roche#ves the witcher#geralt x roche#finley cannot draw#the witcher#the witcher 3#the witcher wild hunt#the witcher games#reason of state#witcher 3 spoilers#THEY DESERVE TO JUST HUG EACH OTHER SO SO TIGHTLY
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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i think we should publicly execute every CEO
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"Why didn't the Democrats codify Roe v Wade?"
They didn't have enough votes to bypass the filibuster because of Joe Manchin
"Why didn'-"
The answer is probably Joe Manchin.
"They had 60 votes in-"
For a few months and that entire time was spent wrestling with like 11 Joe Manchins from a bunch of red states in the senate to get health care reform passed.
"What about the Filibuster-"
JOE FUCKING MANCHIN
#US Politics#the only reason we had a super majority#was because we had like a dozen or more conservative dems#from red states#they all got voted out in 2010-2014
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i feel like not enough ppl are factoring in the cultural clash between laios and shuro and the many micro agressions shuro faced while being in their group. literally the name 'shuro' in itself is one
his name is toshiro 😭 lets also not forget that he has his own communication issues, in the opposite way that laios does- thats literally a factor in their argument, that his envy for laios's ability to express himself sincerely manifested as part of his distaste for him.
ig all this to say like, was their fight heart wrenching, especially when reading laios as autistic? absolutely. anybody whos ever been in laios's position knows how much it hurts to realize someone you thought was your friend doesnt actually like having you around, especially when they didnt tell you and you had no way of knowing due to not understanding their cues. but im begging yall to step back and see the nuance of this situation cause im gonna be real a lot of you are kinda just brushing over it acting like everything is toshiros fault and that hes a terrible person when in reality hes an average guy who really, really clashed with laios and it led to a very long misunderstanding due to their supremely opposite methods of communication. even laios and toshiro, after letting everything out in their fight, were able to come to an understanding and start a foundation for an actual friendship built on better communication
ok yknow what Edit: i shouldve made it even more explicit at the end of this post, i hadnt thought i would need to since i started the post with this, but i think a few too many people are missing my point so i just wanna clarify. i shouldnt have said 'really clashed' and left it at that because yeah they did, but it wasnt just their opposite methods of communication, it is also very much that toshiro was experiencing microaggressions via laios. it may have been unintentional on laios's part, but it still happened and wore him down, made it harder for him to communicate on top of both the more subtle social cues that he was raised with and his own communication difficulties. i also want to say that the fandom reaction to toshiro and the complete ignorance of this point is also racist tbh or at the very least ignorant. i understand that the anime did not cover this panel, and neither did the manga, as this was an omake, but im gonna be real with you guys. there are enough context clues within the story to clue you into this. if you didnt pick up on it thats ok, but i think this is a good lesson in picking up subtext in the stories that youre watching and/or reading. kui shouldnt have to explicitly say 'by the way laios was racist to toshiro' for this point to be understood, and at the very least, when the author portrays a character in a sympathetic light (as kui clearly does) it should make you question Why they are doing so and what makes them sympathetic, rather than youre immediate and only reaction to be 'well i hated what this guy did/said so i hate them and they suck'. idk exactly how to finish this, just. idk. question your biases and gut reactions to things you see in media and stories, and think about whether or not theres subtext that youre missing.
#dunmeshi#dungeon meshi#shuro dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#toshiro nakamoto#dont get me wrong i understand relating to a character and hating whoever wrongs them cause youre protective or you relate really hard#but i think toshiros been getting the short end of the stick for a long time now 😭#even his love for falin is misunderstood#he literally states all the reasons he likes her#and none of them are superficial#but hes so closed off and has such difficulty expressing himself that instead of asking her out or smth he just#proposed to her out of the blue 😭#leading a lot of ppl to just assume that he went 'white woman spotted' and proposed#do Not misunderstand me i am#a HUGE farcille stan#obviously#but i dont think toshiros feelings are surface level and i think theyre absolutely crucial to understanding him and his motivations#as a character in this story
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I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”
“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”
“Yeah!!”
“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”
“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“
“How illogical”
“That’s what I’m saying!!!”
#star trek#Vulcans#Humans#not based on a specific thing#but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’#who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field?#like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq#and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first#would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate#and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for#and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance#the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times#they were just dicks#and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it.#it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible#you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier#but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks.#that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on#and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post#but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks#and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be#replaced#hated that couple#if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us#(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀)#liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people#that no one else wanted to be friends with#I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone#this got long sorry 😭
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According to my phone, I have big plans today
#Bdubs#Bdoubleo100#Hermitcraft#FOR LEGAL REASONS THIS IS A JOKE#thank Stara for it#this is what happens when you find out one of your blorbos lives in your state#1k#2k#3k#4k#5k
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just to be completely clear, the amount of military power and political influence Israel has has NOTHING to do with its settlers being Jewish. Israel is a force for American & European interests in the region and they're just doing what America does and allows/encourages its close allies to do.
war crimes aren't considered war crimes when someone America finds useful is doing them. european and american pushback against anyone criticizing Israeli apartheid & genocide is 100% because these crimes are useful to American & European hegemony.
Governments that are deeply antisemitic, like France, aren't suddenly caring about Jewish people. Jewish people, persecuted the world over, don't hold some kind of hegemonic power outside of Israel.
The state of Israel and its attendant brutal treatment of the locals are both incredibly useful to the US, and American hegemony means we're expected to celebrate both.
not bc they're Jewish. this isn't a break in the pattern of western antisemitism and it's not evidence that antisemitism doesn't exist.
it's just like how you could get fired for saying shit against the US war in Afghanistan when i was growing up. it is 100% about US military and political interests (ok slightly western europe too but lbr)
#this widespread support has NOTHING to do w Israelis being Jewish apart from evangelicals wanting to use them as pawns for armageddon#the primary reason this is all being treated like it's ok is cuz it's useful to the usa#i feel like this post is going to bring terrible ppl into my inbox but i'm gonna leave it rebloggable for now#if our (US+EU) governments push back at all it will be because it stops being useful to us#either because Israel isn't doing this as quickly & efficiently as promised and it looks like Palestine might actually do some damage#or if it otherwise becomes too politically costly by causing too much tension between the US & other nationstates#either allies like Saudi or if states we aren't quite ready to have war w seem to be ready to throw down over it
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going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:
There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’
like wow babe. good fucking point
#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point#not a shitpost#cptsd#and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer#the truth is i know why i wasn't loved#i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings#i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing#i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance#the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it#i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer#and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!!#because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that!#it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs!#so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't.#when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to#you can look for answers and reasons and explanations#but that's not actually going to FIX your situation.#and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job)#because you don't need answers--you need a new situation#*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme*#and yes. walking out isn't always possible.#but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap.#stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air#new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust#like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be#when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole
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Today on Donuts and Dogs we encountered a large dog with a muzzle in a group with a few other dogs on the trail. I didn’t initiate anything but the dog came up and rubbed so aggressively affectionately on us that we had to pet him.
I offered that I’ve seen dogs muzzled to prevent them eating rocks as a roundabout question. His mom sighed and said he has to wear it because otherwise he eats marijuana.
#donuts and dogs#funny#ramblies#pot is legal in our state so I guess there’s enough joints laying around to be an issue#but it was the funniest reason I’ve ever heard to have to muzzle a guy#we saw him later in the off leash area with his muzzle freed#he immediately came over for more love
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Radovid's chess monologue: devotion, betrayal and *lub-dub, lub-dub*
Today I’m going to explain to you the criminally overlooked Radovid’s chess monologue. That is not a comical crazy nonsense. That’s absolutely gorgeous speech about devotion, betrayal and *lub-dub lub-dub*.
Chekmate. They say that's the game of kings. That chess teaches one to think strategically. What a load of rubbish! Both sides have identical pieces, the rules stay invariably the same. How does this mirror real life?
Radovid, despite his young age, is a rather experienced ruler. He had to solve this most difficult puzzle called “politics” more than once. Politics is not chess, and here no one plays by the rules. Therefore, Radovid had very quickly accustomed himself to cold calculation, flexibility of mind and a certain amount of cynicism.
Witcher, do you know why I play chess?
Whatever the answer, Radovid ends the introductory part of the monologue and proceeds to the main one.
I play chess to reveal the game's secret. Blood thumps inside this chessmen. You need only listen - and you will hear. Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub...A heart pumping with life. I take a pawn - and hear flesh being rent. I win a piece - and hear screams from the depths of its bowels. I want to break the chessmen open, squeeze the truth from them. Do you see what I mean?
This whole piece is one continuous metaphor. Let's look at it in more detail.
Blood thumps inside this chessmen. You need only listen - and you will hear. Lub-dub, lub-dub, lub-dub...
This is the most memorable moment, although Radovid only poetically compares the figures with people, and “lub-dub” is nothing more than an imitation of a heartbeat; a symbol of how noisy life is in a chess piece, if instead of it we imagine a living person, but on the political "board" of kings.
A heart pumping with life. I take a pawn - and hear flesh being rent. I win a piece - and hear screams from the depths of its bowels.
Through chess images, Radovid paints a picture of real political life with numerous deaths and sacrifices in the name of a certain goal. Dead flesh, death screams - this is what remains of the "pawns" that kings sweep away from their political board with a wave of their hands.
I play chess to reveal the game's secret.
Do you see what I mean?
What secret is he talking about? What is the "truth" that Radovid set out to squeeze out of chess? Perhaps these are the most difficult questions of the chess monologue. In order to fully understand them, you need to answer the king “No, I don't” and listen to Radovid’s further explanation.
You do not beacause you are not a king. Pawns see only the comrades at their sides and the foes across the field. The king has the differen view of the chessboard. His greatest foes surrounds him. His own chessmen might trap him. And that is check...and death. You see, witcher : сhess is a art of sacrificing your own pieces. Now do you see?
This is the key point of the monologue. Here is a real possibility in chess, when the king gets a checkmate only because he is blocked by his own pieces, and an analogy with royal power, when lieges betray their monarch. This is a clear allusion to a conspiracy against the king of Redania, arranged by the Temerians and Dijkstra (which is typical, none of the king's inner circle or from other Redanians, with the exception of a traitor soldier, is involved in the conspiracy. This makes one seriously doubt the veracity of Dijkstra's speeches and the journal entry that, they say, everyone would be happy about the death of the White Eagle).
The king is afraid of betrayal, because recently several rulers of the North have fallen victims of evil intentions: Demavend III, Foltest, and even earlier - his own father, Vizimir II, who was killed by Philippa Eilhart. Radovid is very afraid of repeating his fate. The situation is doubly aggravated by the war with Nilfgaard and the beginning of the Witch Hunt. The king is always on the alert, because he knows for sure: a lot of spiteful critics have divorced around, who in the most decisive way decided to throw him off the throne.
Thus, the “truth” that Radovid wants to squeeze out is the desire to obtain convincing evidence of the loyalty of his pawns, close associates and subjects (Geralt, Roche, etc.). Not without reason follows the explanation of the message about the king, locked in a trap by his own pawns.
His greatest foes surrounds him. His own chessmen might trap him. And that is check...and death.
He is absolutely right. Vernon Roche and Geralt are exactly those "pawns" that can lure the king into a deadly trap.
Another aspect of this monologue is reasonable sacrifices for the common good. In chess, one must be able to sacrifice one's pieces, as well as on the field of big politics - one's subjects (for example, Whoreson Junior). In the context of the infidelity of the lieges to their king, Radovid probably also takes into account the need to sacrifice unreliable pawns in time so that they do not harm the monarch. No wonder he orders to kill Geralt on the bridge of St. Gregory, because he suspects him of treason and barrier of all kinds. This is a fair assumption, given that on behalf of the witcher, the player can interfere with the plans of the king more than once.
You see, witcher: сhess is a art of sacrificing your own pieces.
It turns out that, on the one hand, chess doesn't mirror the real life (after all, no one plays by the rules in politics!), and on the other hand, how many figurative references can be found in chess to the real life of kings (and not only kings! ). Here is such a duality and depth. Perhaps, this is precisely the “secret” of chess for Radovid. Speaking more globally, chess in an incomprehensible way combines many different motives: ethics, metaphysics, music, mathematics, philosophy, and even love. The game is full of a bottomless amount of hidden meanings, and Radovid, as a talented chess player, understands and feels this very well.
And if we go back a little and answer the king's question "Yes, I do"?
Radovid: …I want to break the chessmen open, squeeze the truth from them. Do you see what I mean? Geralt: Yes, Sire, believe I do.
Radovid will react quite sharply to this.
You know shit. You're merely humoring me! I was not speaking literally.
These words of Radovid destroy any ridiculous assumption that the king, they say, in a fit of madness treats chess as if it were alive. And the king clearly does not tolerate any sycophancy. Perhaps it is for this reason that His Majesty will not give such a detailed explanation and will limit himself to only one phrase:
First hidden truth: a monarch is always surrounded by fools. Understand?
Around the monarch there are always a lot of sycophants who naively think that they are smarter and more cunning than their ruler and can easily deceive him. Radovid was surrounded by the ambitious sorceress Philippa Eilhart, who wanted to rule over Redania through obedient “pocket king”, and arrogant, blooming nobles, who did not respect the young heir.
At the end of the scene, Roche gives an extremely strange assessment of the king's speech:
Radovid's sinking ever deeper into madness, as I see it.
Also, an equally strange entry appears in the journal on behalf of Dandelion, where, among other things, it is indicated that
Geralt's meeting with Radovid confirmed the rumors circling around the king's mental state. The Redanian king was a dangerous madman trapped in his own world of disturbing visions
It is completely incomprehensible, on the basis of what Radovid's phrases we should have the impression that His Majesty is insane. If you listen to the king carefully, it is quite obvious that he says the right and logical things, in fact, describing his royal life, and the Eagle uses very beautiful images for this.
The words about the "mad king" looks like a deliberate denigration of Radovid. "Madness" is an inappropriate word to describe the state of mind of His Majesty, his pain and his anguish. But, of course, by the events of The Witcher 3, the king is on the verge of breaking, and a real abyss has opened up inside him. However, this is not about chess at all.
#stop calling radovid a madman#legendary chess monologue#radovid#radovid v the stern#radowid#king radovid#radovid the stern#Радовид#vernon roche#geralt of rivia#sigismund dijkstra#philippa eilhart#reason of state#witcher 3#wiedźmin#the witcher#the witcher 3 wild hunt#ведьмак#redania#digital art#artists on tumblr#chess metaphors#chess
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DP x DC Prompt #16
When Hal had asked him which town he protected, Danny was more than happy to tell him, "Amity Park!" When Hal asked Danny where it was, Danny hadn't thought the response, "At this moment? Or where it was last week?" would've caused such chaos in the meeting.
Danny knew not everyone's town traveled across the country, but he didn't think it was odd enough to warrant this kind of reaction.
#finemeal prompt#dp x dc#danny fenton#justice league#hal jordon#amity park#amity park moves around#ya know how a lot of people put amity park in different states?#this is my “in universe” reason for it#like amity park just moves from city to city#just living its best life#one day you go to bed in Minnesota#and wake up in California#just another day in the life of Amity Parkers#they're used to it#don't ask me how this works practically#it just works#trust me
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I am Jean Moreau. I will endure.
Just wanted to thank @korakos for sharing The Sunshine Court with us. It is everything I didn’t know I needed. ❤️🩹
#the sunshine court#aftg#all for the game#jean moreau#aftg fanart#the foxhole court#Renee walker#cat alvarez#catalina alvarez#laila dermott#jeremy knox#palmetto state foxes#palmetto state university#digital art#digital#fan art#salve for the soul#reasons to live#nora sakavic#tsc#tsc spoilers#the sunshine court spoilers
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Party infighting
#dungeon meshi#aj art#chilchuck#tw sa implied#kind of#Also this is meant to be set before the griffin chapter so no one really gets why Senshi is having such a strong reaction lmao#That’s not important I just want people to know#Also it’s not really stated outright but the reason Chilchuck’s party feel so comfortable violating his privacy like that#While they think they’re being reasonable#Is bc Subconsciously they just don’t see him as an adult or even really a person#They didn’t intend to hurt him which is why they also felt so comfortable asking him to rejoin#From their perspective it was just an embarrassing situation#comic#Chilchuck backstory stuff
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on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
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