#really its not THAT bad but for some reason it makes me feel bad. i guess it sucks that i still have to carry the wounds i get from it back

[katiascraft]

✐ᝰ "You knew all too well i was right where you left me" | CL16 ࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊

parings: retired!charles leclerc x writer!ex!reader

series summary: It’s the story of a woman frozen in the moment her world fell apart. A perfect dinner ended with, “I met someone else,” and while everyone moved on, she remained stuck in that instant, unable to let go of the past. A poignant tale of heartbreak, grief, and the weight of being trapped in a “forever” that never was.

‎[one / two / three / four / current / six...]

chapter five

"there'll be happiness after you but there was happiness because of you too"

word count: 6k.

BLOG MASTERLIST - series masterlist

⋆˚࿔ i did something bad 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

The kiss that started sweet and gentle turned into a passionate and steamy kiss in a fraction of a second. Franco felt kind of desperate. And to be fair, he was. He has waited his whole life for this moment to happen. Or at least all of these years since he met you. But he was convinced he won’t ever feel like this for any other girl in his entire life. He dated girls, fucked a few, played with them sometimes, tried to make it work. But none of them felt like you, laughed like you, thought like you, joked like you. None of them were you. And what was the craziest thing to him was that he had never tasted you. Not like this. He felt raised to heaven blessed by the gods. He felt like a kid who behaved properly and Santa brought him all of the presents he asked for during the year. A dream came true.  

His hands were all over your back and hips. His touch was warm and determined. He felt like he wanted to remember how you felt, the shape of you under his touch, how your skin felt, how warm he made you feel. 

His kisses were tracing a road down your neck. His lips were soft and wet. They made your skin crawl. Your fingers in his hair and shoulders trying to remain stood under his embrace. His skin was soft and his perfume was leaving you drunker by its whiskey scent. That smell defined him very well in your opinion. His skin was on fire. You couldn’t help but feel things you aren’t supposed to feel with your best friend. Well, you were doing things you’re not supposed to do with your bestie either. 

Your breath was heavy. Your heart rate elevated. He came back to your lips and the way he kisses you gently again burnt your body. You felt a heat you haven’t felt in a long time for anyone. If you didn’t remember to be this intense before. Franco was franco. And that implied that everything was different. Unique. He wasn’t like other guys. I mean, he was the most cheerful guy you have ever met. You couldn’t stop laughing around him. It  was impossible not to or have a serious conversation. But at the same time he was such a great listener. When you told him about Charles that you ended up crying, he was the most comforting person. You knew at that moment your friendship made a turn. A turn into one of the most precious relationships you have in your life. He was so comprehensive. It is actually so rare to meet someone like that in this fucked up society these days. 

And for some reason or maybe for all of those reasons, this felt really wrong. You didn’t want to hurt him. You always knew he liked you, of course you did. It was obvious. The way he looked at you. All out of context presents or compliments. All of his invitations to every grand prix during the year. The facetime calls at random times in the day just to check in. and you liked all of that but always tried to make sure you didn’t play with his feelings. Respecting spaces and distances. Codes. He was really important to you, you just couldn’t risk him just like that. Just for a kiss or sex. He deserved to be so happy with someone 100% into him. And you kinda hated destiny for making him like you when you were stuck with Charles and always into someone else (even failing every time). 

But now you hate yourself even more. Not only because you liked to torture yourself in a really twisted way. But also because you were actually kissing him and touching him in not a friendly way. Not the way you’re supposed to touch him. Or to kiss him. Or to spend your time with him. This was so wrong. You knew this would lead to drama. And the worst part is that you couldn’t stop. And maybe you didn’t want to. And why didn’t you? What is your brain planning to do? Making every situation you’re in worse than the previous one. 

And it was the worst scenario possible. You don’t know how you both ended up in Franco's room. His shirt was already off. Your lips were kissing his stomach going down. It was the best situation for him, that’s for sure. You promised to never get this drunk ever again. You stood up after reaching his boxers with your lips. And kissed him again like you wanted to rescued yourself from fuck it all up but at the same time not stopping at all. You were driving Franco insane and for a moment he felt a bit empty. Was this the beginning of something? Or was it just a once in a lifetime night? Thinking about all of this started hunting him. You have never given him signs that you liked him back. But you were one of his best friends. His hands grabbed your head possessively bringing you closer to him starting to lead you to his bed. You followed him, letting him do whatever he wanted with you. 

Were you ready to do this again? 

Surprising as it may sound, you haven’t had sex in a very long time. You liked to have fun with yourself and explore yourself. But it was hard for you to feel something towards someone and desire them this way. Because the only one who used to turn you on was charles. And there he was again in your head. He was always there hunting you. Franco pushed you softly into his bed climbing up on you. And that’s when you woke up from this trance you couldn’t quite comprehend. He was about to undress you when you pushed him again as softly as you could because you were now exasperated about the situation you put yourself under. Franco looked at you scared. He felt he has really fucked it up. 

“y/n i’m sorry, please. Perdon, I didn't mean to.. I’m sorry” he said, getting up and pulling his shirt on again as fast as he could. You tried to adjust yourself heading out the bedroom. You couldn’t face him now. You felt terrible about yourself. You didn’t know how to handle this situation. You were too drunk. But you also knew you wouldn’t know how to deal with this sober either. “y/n wait, please. Let’s talk” he could grab your hand to stop you from leaving the bedroom making you face him. You felt so embarrassed. You felt like a monster. You looked at his face. He was such a good guy and yet here you are about to break his heart. Why didn’t you stop? Why did you let him do this? You knew it was not only your responsibility, it was his as well but still. 

“I'm sorry fran, this shouldn’t have happened. I'm really sorry” when you said those words you could see how his face changed into a one that even broke your heart. He dropped your hand. He knew. He fucking knew you didn’t like him. Then why would you do this? And on his birthday?

You sprinted out of that room immediately. We can say you almost ran away from him. But the reality was that you wanted to run away from yourself and your stupid ass decisions who fucked everything up each single time. The hallway down to where the party was being held never felt so infinite. You knew your anxiety was becoming a bit too much for you at that moment. Catastrophic scenarios were playing on and on in your mind as you took each step down the stairs. The pressure in your chest increases when you see the people at the party. You felt like they were looking at you, judging. Laughing in your face. Howpathetic could you be? Not getting over your only ex fro more than 10 years, then almost fuck your friend thhat you wasn’t sure if you liked him like that for real or not,  then wanting to be over everything and then fucking everything up. You didn't know how to handle these situations. You felt like a teenager again. Too many mistakes. Too confusing. That made you feel ashamed of yourself. You were a 32 years old woman, acting like 17 years old, fucking up friendships while you couldn’t stop thinking of your ex. And that’s when you wanted to throw up. 

You didn’t want to find your friends. You didn’t want to tell them how you fuck it up with the one guy (once again) that is good for you. How you wasted his time and feelings. You felt like a monster. Like you played with him on purpose even if you actually didn’t want to. You were way too harsh on yourself sometimes. You needed to get out of there just like you got away when you first saw Charles again in that restaurant (or well, now it’s a coffee shop). 

It was running away from your fears, you couldn’t confront them. It was running away from you. You hated yourself. You couldn’t think straight and clear about yourself most of the time. The only moment you trusted yourself was when writing. And you also doubted yourself very much on it. You couldn’t win. Your self-confidence didn’t exist. You were sure about it. People were dancing while you were pushing them a bit to walk through the party out to the garden. You need fresh air in your brain as soon as possible. Or you were about to become insane if you didn’t. People said things to you but you didn’t hear. Your eyes locked on the floor. Your stomach was in your throat. The image of Charles stuck in your brain. 

I met someone. I met someone. I met someone. I met someone. I met someone. 

His lips moved, pronouncing those damn three words to your face. As if they were nothing. As if you were nothing at all for him. And maybe you were. You couldn’t imagine Franco saying those things to you, for example. Or maybe men were equal? Maybe you needed to experiment with girls. Maybe they are less complicated and more open. But maybe you were the problem. Too many thoughts per second. You jumped out of every single boat you ended up in. You didn’t know anymore. In your brain, things are too complicated and you know all too well you will need years to repair the damage made to it. From your dad and mum, to Charles and every single other guy you mate. To Franco and to this balcony where you would find someone maybe ready to love you like you matter, like you deserve to feel loved, like you’re amazing and beautiful. Then you were sure you were completely insane. There was no way you were always thinking about someone saving you from yourself. But there you were hoping to meet the love of your life in that gallery outside the party in Franco's house. Maybe writing and your imagination was rotting your brain. You thought about retiring and working in a library as a normal person would do. You didn’t know why you were thinking all of these things suddenly. 

Maybe you were tired and frustrated. You just gave up when you finally got to the garden. The cold air of London fills your lungs, helping you with your anxiety. Your body heat dropped. Your sweaty hands got dry and cold. Your nose is red. Your eyes closed. You were doing your breathing meditation. Your heart palpitations didn’t stop though. And they were fast. Faster than Charles getting over you and everything you built. Faster than you ruining the friendship with franco. Faster than you waiting for someone to save you. Your life sucked. You really didn’t want to think about it like that. But you did. Most times you just couldn't see positive things in it. You felt like a failure. A loser. You didn’t have a lover nor a family. A loser that’s what you were. A complete failure. You had almost no family as well. No father, no mother. Just a brother and a sister who lived on the other side of the world and barely talked to you. Your only family was agostina, your best friend. And she was everything you were not. She has the perfect lover with whom she built a beautiful family of five. Her kids were lovely. She was gorgeous and the greatest person you knew. She was exactly everything you were not. But you didn't hate her. Of course you didn't. You would never think of her like that. It made you as sad as happy for her. Sad for you. Happy for her. 

Why can’t you live something like that? 

“Hey, you okay?” you jumped a little scared because of the sudden interruption to your thoughts and sadness. You turned to your side to find that guy. I think it was Lando's name or something like that Nikola said a few hours ago. When he brought you back to reality you realized you were crying hard. Your face bathed in tears. Cold and puffy. His face was concerned. His eyes are shiny, so blue and green. You found his face so pretty to look at. Alcohol was still in your veins, otherwise you wouldn’t be here crying so dramatically. You would try to hide it. Always. 

⋆˚࿔ let it happen 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Your eyes were on his eyes. Yours were red and puffy. His red is tired and shiny. You stayed in silence for a moment. You answered his question when he saw your face. Something in him cracked for some reason. Oh, he did know you very well. He saw you on that balcony and now that he has you right in front of him, he couldn’t believe you being more beautiful than on that day, but you actually are. He promised Charles he wouldn’t even try but he talked to Carlos about it. Carlos wanted Charles to move on but he was making a move on you and was crossing the line. 

He looked down to his water bottle on his right hand. “Do you want some? Maybe you feel better” he said with a deep voice. He was nervous as hell. Alcohol in his veins as like in yours. He saw your smile. Your face was so pretty. You looked so cute with the boca juniors shirton. He had one as well. He didn’t think they were his colors, blue and yellow, not his thing. But you looked so pretty in them. All of the girls at the party were dressed looking hot as hell. But you and your friends looked cute. Relaxed outfits for the win. And that made you look all so attractive or at least for him. He recognized you a few hours ago. He was kinda shocked to see you there because he has never seen you near franco like ever. You didn’t go to the races nor comment on Franco's posts. Or anything at all. Then here you are. He saw kissing him. He saw you two going up the stairs. Alcohol didn’t let him analizy things properly even if he tried his best in doing so. 

Your fingers that grabbed the bottle from his hand, brushed his sending electricity throughout his arm. He smiled gently at you watching you drink from it. 

“Thank you, and sorry you had to see me cry” you told him, giving his bottle back and he smiled so pretty, shaking his head. You found him so attractive. You were just trying not to be so obvious. Also, you were worried to look like a slut if he saw you kissing Franco before. But why did you care so much? Why were you thinking all of these things about him? 

“Oh no, don’t be sorry. You still look cute tho” he said giggling a bit making you laugh a bit as well. You shook your head not agreeing with him. 

“Thank you again, but no need to lie about that tho” you told him a little funny. 

“I promise I'm not lying. You're pretty even crying” he confessed, making you blush. “You okay? Need to talk or something?” he asked to checkon you even if you were strangers. “Im lando by the way” he introduced himself so this wasn’t that weird. 

“I’m y/n. Nice to meet you. I think I'm better now, I just made a lot of stupid decisions throughout my life that now alcohol just reminds me how much of a loser I am” you were honest. More honest than you would be with anyone. You just blamed the alcohol. 

“Hey, I don't think you’re a loser y/n. I mean, I know we don’t know each other at all. But for me, you don’t look like a loser at all” he expressed. You looked out to the garden in front of you a bit ashamed. 

“Appearances can lie, you know? I’m a loser, I promise you. I’m still stuuckin a fucking restaurante knowing all too well i should’ve move on years ago. But here I am. Fucking up friendships and any opportunity i have to get better and be happy. I just hate myself so much. I won’t ever be happy” you gave up. You no longer cared about what people would think. You didn’t care if he thought you were crazy for telling him so much private stuff. You barely know his name. But there you were comfortable enough to confess your depression to him. He analyzed you. Every detail of your face. Each word you used to describe yourself. 

“I don’t think that makes you a loser still. I think you’re brave enough to tell a stranger how you feel and in my opinion, that takes strength and confidence. And i think you will be happy, you just need to let yourself be” his words hung on the air between you two. Why was a stranger talking to her? Why was he saying things she needed to here? Why his words were important? You were sure he  knew how much of a mess you were. It shows. You were sure. But still he was here. Right when you want someone here waiting for you ready to save you.  Is this who will save you? Are you out of your mind for thinking like this about him? 

Delusion was thinking he will be just like charles wright? You had no idea who this guy was but still you compared him to charles. Because you didn’t want to date Charles again or anyone like him. Or did you? You didn’t know how you felt about all of this. About charles. About yourself. About this guy you don't even know and you want him already to save you just because he called you brave and strong and pretty. Was that really enough for you? Was that the standard you had for yourself? He could be a serial killer right? But you could save him. He could love you. And you would forget about charles. About his touch. About his voice and laugh. About his jokes and moans. About his perfume. About his family and friends. About his cars. About everything related to him. 

But was it fair to love someone to stop loving someone else? 

Did you still love Charles? 

You looked at him again. Your eyes connected. He smiled shyly. You did as well. Maybe you could let this guy ruin you just like Charles did, just because of his face, and his voice and what he said to you without even knowing you. You should get your shit together. You still reeling that fucking monaguesque guy. But at this point you didn’t care anymore. Or at least that’s what you thought. He got closer and kissed your cheek, that took you by surprise but you liked it. Probably way too much.

“I know without knowing you that you’re amazing. You just need to believe it. I’m sure you’ll find someone who sees you” he added and your smile became wider. 

“Thank you, lando.wow. Any stranger said so many nice things about me” you half joked shyly and his cheeks went red. His giggles were the cutest sound you have heard lately. Where was this guy? 

Then you remembered Franco and that this guy probably is his friend. And your back at your self hate again.

Why did everything have to be so difficult?

Why do you have to make so many mistakes at once? 

“y/n, we need your help” Dottie's voice interrupted you two. Her voice seemed worried. “Betty is way too drunk, it’s better if we go home now” she explained, a little suspicious of your both body languages. You nodded. 

“Alright, let’s go. Nice to meet you Lando, hope to talk to you another time though so it’s not that depressing. I promise im fun” you said a bit funny but hurried. Your friend first, always. You kissed his cheek quickly. He laughed about your comment. 

“Oh yea, she is,” Dottie added, supporting you in a smile.

“Hope to see you again sometime, Y/n. good luck with your friend” he said to both of you and after smiling at him you went into the party again.

“D, I think I'm in love,” you said excitedly.

“What?”

⋆˚࿔ it’s time to go 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ the fucking tuesday 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Arriving in monaco again at 11 am has never felt so good in your entire life. A trip that started like a dream to remember, turned into a nightmare you couldn’t forget but all you wanted to was to forget about it. Just pretend it never existed and erase everything you did wrong that Saturday night.

You missed your house (your safe place),and you needed its comfort more than you would like to admit. Your brain was a mess. You couldn’t stop thinking about charles driving you to your friend’s house then the memory just fading away and inturning into him saying non stop i met someone. You felt you were going insane when you remembered Franco's skin on yours and how good and warm it felt. How you kissed his abs. And then how you got so scared. His face was printed in ink in your subconscious. You could only see sadness, shame, and a bit of hatred. You were sure at that moment he hated you. Like you humiliate him a bit. You felt so bad about it you couldn’t even face him. You really wanted to say sorry but you just didn’t want to see him straight in the eyes. Shame was tattooed all over your body. How could you?

Then your mind was reminded of Lando's existence and you just wanted to punch yourself in the face. What the hell happened with you at that party? Was the fernet that Franco prepared? You wanted to blame anything except yourself. You didn’t understand yourself either. Like your feelings and thoughts couldn’t agree on anything. Like you had split personality issues.

Yes, you liked lando way too much probably in those few minutes at the gallery. But then there was Franco that you now were confused about how you felt about him. Because you really liked to kiss him. To touch him. To feel him close to you in that way.

And then there was still charles.

You were really tired of thinking already you just had to put taylor swift on your headphones.you took the bus that left you one block away from your house. You don't want to call anyone to pick you up. You texted A and she told you that. You didn’t understand why she did it. But it overwhelmed you for sure. You just wanted to retreat from life like forever.

When you finally got home you went straight into bed. When you touched your pillow you started crying. And that’s how you fell asleep scared to have another nightmare.

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Charles watched Carlos leaving his phone on the counter with a weird face “everything alright mate?” he asked. Carlos nodded and smiled.

“Yeah, did you send the invitation to everyone you know?” he asked, grabbing the box with vodka bottles and taking them to the fridge.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be a crazy wild night” Charles said excitedly trying to not let his anxiety control his mood right now. He wanted to have fun and purposely forget about everything with alcohol. A lot of it. As much as possible.

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

The music was so loud that Charles could barely listen to what the blonde girl in front of him was talking about but he didn’t care that much. He was already bored by the third girl Carlos introduced him to. He knows Carlos just has good intentions but he was already convinced no one will captivate him the way you did. Not even if they tried to imitate you. Since he saw you again he couldn’t forget your scent. The way you smiled to your nephews. How you treated them and how he was confused for a moment if they were your children. He always knew you wanted to be a mother and for what he saw he was sure you would be the best one out there. He wanted to forget about you he really did. But he was also sure life hated him. He wanted to rebuild his life and leave behind the damage he caused, but then there was you again in that fucking restaurant. And in that moment he knew all too well it would drive him insane. And he felt like it. He believed it.

The girl notices he wasn’t paying attention to her. Charles was playing with his glass of whiskey. Her face looked annoyed and disappointed. Charles didn’t care. She told him she needed to go to the bathroom and disappeared for the rest of the night. He drank his whole glass in one take. He just wanted to drown in alcohol right there and vaish from life. From everyone who knew him.

He saw Carlos dancing la macarena with his group of spanish friends that came for the holidays. He was enjoying himself around. Rebecca, his girlfriend, was there as well, matching hia freak. And for a moment he felt something he never felt before and he didn't like it at all. He felt envious. He wanted to have his life. Be him. Have the girl of his dreams dancing around with him. His friends were here but not with him. And he didn’t even like to dance. And don't have anyone to have sex with. Then he felt miserable. Angry with life itself.he was disappointed. He felt he let down everyone in his life. And the proof was that damn book she wrote. He was a coward. And everyone knew about it; they just didn't know it was him all along. And when the truth comes out then his life will be ended.

He swallowed hard and stood up to grab more whiskey. This time he was drinking from the bottle. He pushed himself aside from the party and sat near the pool even if he was freezing. He didn’t care anymore if he got sick or died. He was extreme. He looked at your balcony and wanted to cry. He wanted to cry like a child. Throw punches and scream. He felt there was no way to fix his life. He regretted breaking you so much. He always knew this was everything to you. You were so caring and always there for him and his whole family. He also knew he broke his mum. She loves you deeply. You were like her daughter, the one she never had. The one he and dad would have loved to have if they could choose the sex of their children. Remembering his dad broke him. He started crying. If he was here he knew he would be disappointed in him. Not because of his career (he made history) but because he isn’t with a good woman. He doesn't have kids either. And he now believed he didn't even have a future.

He looked again at your balcony. The lights were off. He didn’t know if you were there or not. If you had a lover. Or even if you have him blocked on social media. And that’s when curiosity won over him. What if he tried to search for your name on instagram? He was sure someone he knew, knew you as well. Monaco is too little to not have those coincidences on the daily.

He searched the first letters of your name and then saw that his ex, alexandra followed you. He felt weird about it and his face showed confusion with his eyebrows. He clicked on your profile and started stalking you. You still paint and have a piano. You used to play piano together. Actually, you taught him. You were the best professor he had ever had. He smiled looking at pictures of random dogs you found on the streets and with your nephews. You built a new family away from your actual family. That made him happy for a second. He knew after both of your parents died, you didn’t get along so well with your siblings. But he didn’t know if it was still like that. He saw how successful you were. How your book was a bestseller and how it would be a movie produced by universal. He was surprised. He would have never expected this outcome. Back in the day you were an art teacher for children and had a studio where you gave those lessons. Children loved you so much. He remembered their bright smiles when the parents came around to pick them up. He admired you so much for it. He even fantasizes that one day that face so bright and happy will be the one your children will have everytime they look at their mother. He wanted to be a father with you. But then alex came around and fucked it all up. Or well he actually did. And he still couldn’t understand why he did it.

Alex Was beautiful, he couldn’t deny that. She also loved him dearly. She was in love with him. And he thought he was with her. But then everything spiraled down and collapsed. He met her at that partymax verstappen threw to celebrate he was an official f1 driver for red bull. He invited everyone he ever met along his life. You couldn’t go because you had to take an exam the following morning. And that’s when it happened. She was dancing with her group of friends. She also had a boyfriend. And we talked and sparks were there. And then Charles got all confused. And they kissed. And he had already cheated by the time he realized that it was wrong. And then he couldn't stop. And his life went to shit.

He didn’t realize he was sobbing until he felt his teardrops stain his creme pants. He was using a fancy outfit. He looked really good. But as everything he touched, he also ruined that too in that moment. And because he was so busy feeling miserable, he didn’t realize the police were already at carlos’ door wanting to shut down the party. I mean, it was a tuesday night of a working week after all.

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

When Charles got closer to Carlos, he was already shouting at the police officers like a crazy man. He was drunk for sure and the policeman knew about it too. No perfume will ever smell like that. Not in Monaco of course.

“Then tell me, who will call? I need to know who to call. I never do parties and then once I do I can't and it’s not fair. I need to know who called you, it's my right as a citizen "Carlos was verbose and angry.

“Carlos it’s okay, how much should we pay you to let us have a party?” Charles intervenes trying to look not drunk at all but failing in each word. Police men looked at each other, annoyed by these two men.

“That would be a crime, sir” the police officer with a beard that looked disgusting in charles’ opinion, answered him. He kind of felt offended.

“Then who it was!!” Carlos was losing it and Charles was scared they would take him to jail right there.

“Your neighbor” the other one talked now pointing his fingers to his right. His right.

Your house was at his right. You called the cops. At that moment he felt he was about to faint. He was sure he was white. The policemen looked at him weird. Carlos then started walking. If you were in a cartoon show he would have smoke coming out his head right now. He walked fast towards your hose. Charles panicked and followed him desperate. Carlos started banging your door so he could tell you things.

“Carlos, nono. Let’s just go home, c’mon "Charles tried to convince Carlos but he was determined and ignored him. He won’t let you ruin his party. His celebration. His opportunity to present a woman for his friend to be happy. The one he taught you ruined. Becausehe couldn’t be over you. And he saw all of this as if you were now not letting him be able to in a very twisted way.

Charles was scared and worried when he saw your light turning on by the minute. His eyes wanting to leave his face when he saw you in your marvel pajamas again. Your hair was a mess and your face had the darkest circles under your eyes. Your face puffy as if you were crying or you did before you went to sleep and then they woke you up. No he felt as guilty as when he realized he left the love of his life stuck in that fucking restaurant you both loved so much.

“What the fuck is wrong with you bitch? Huh? Stop torturing my friend!” carlos said aggressively the moment he saw you when you opened the door.

⋆˚࿔ TO BE CONTINUED 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

chapter six: coming soon.

tag list: @a-beaverhausen , @annaluna12 , @thehoplessromanticclub , @emryb , @hadids-world , @kaztheemyth , @freyathehuntress , @diorbrxtz , @theseerbetweenus , @sie17136 , @leila-030304 , @charlesgirl16 , @ricciardosheart , @weekendlusting

author’s note: hope you all have a merry christmas ❤️ and that you like this chapter as much as I do !

thank you everyone for reading and sharing what I write. I really really appreciate it!

if you wanna be part of the tag list just leave a comment!

see you on the next chapter :)

Don’t forget to like, reblog or comment! And follow me so we can be friends! (And drink mate together) <3

[kayla-and-the-moon]

baby, it's cold outside-! ᥫ᭡.

❄️plot: it's christmas eve and peter just really wants you stay, is that a crime?

❄️pairing: gn! reader x tasm!peter parker <3

❄️tw! : nothing just peter being a sweetpea/ best bf ever / darling dork. (dunno if minimal smooching counts as a tw-)

"god it's storming out there."

in your defense when you'd walked over here, the snow had been light, but now it seemed like the entirety of the world behind the window was a turbulent flurry of white. you'd come here to drop off some Christmas cookies your mom had baked, the problem was what was supposed to be a quick visit had turned into a couple hours.

of course you had one person to blame for that.

peter was practically engulfing you, his arms winding around your midriff and his face burying in your shoulder. you can feel the bastard's evil little grin against your sweater before he gives a hum of faux innocence.

"geez, that's really unfortunate", he tuts, his chin propping up to look at your unimpressed roll of the eyes in the window reflection, "I guess that means you'll have to stay huh?"

"pete, my dad would murder you."

"i think he'd murder me if I let you go out in this weather. so eitherway it's a death-death outcome, sweetheart."

it's honestly unfair how the nerd could turn you to all disarmed and smiley with a simple, dopey wisecrack of his. you have to stifle a snort of laughter before you turn to him with a brow raise. peter isn't deterred, but maybe even more motivated, and only just continues to look at you like you hung the moon itself.

"what? i'm just looking out for my girlfriend" he shrugs, but the stupid grin on his face belies those innocuous brown eyes of his.

you're almost persuaded to stay, but there's that niggling pinch of responsibility at the back of your mind, and you're once again looking outside as if your stared hard enough the sky would clear. no such luck, god, you wished the universe loved you enough to put its snowy tantrum on pause.

"it's not that bad, and my mom might get worried," you try reasoning, already picturing your mother's hysteria wondering if the multiple thugs lurking in new york's alleyways had taken you prisoner ,"really I should go-"

"you'll get pneumonia," he simply states with a pointed quirk of his brows, "plus we can always call."

"you know as well as I do that the cell service is unequivocally wrecked right now."

"then we'll call in the morning, your mom probably knows you're here," he counters, his fingertips drawing a path over your arms, "plus, I think she's caught on you're Spiderman's personal favorite civilian"

this brings a chuckle to slip from you, shaking your head at him.

"you're very pushy, peter parker" you roll your eyes, your arms crossing stubbornly over your chest.

peter can see right behind your facade though, and in all truth, he's feeling giddy as ever. he thinks he's the luckiest guy on earth when you grace him with that sweet smile rivaling sunshine.

"i'd just like to call it opportunistic," peter beams, the satisfaction evident in the glimmers of golden lamplight in his gaze.

"c'mon baby, don't make me beg here" he implores. lord, it should be forbidden for peter parker to call you that, since you have very little faith that your knees wouldn't buckle right that moment.

his hands find the curve of your waist and before you can even whisper the hint of another weak protest, he's dragged you to his bed, letting you fall on his chest with an unceremonious thump. you can't really bring yourself to tell him off, because peter has a way of making you all soft, and sticky with lovesickness. instead you just lean in to press a kiss of cinnamon sugar to his lips, and it's your turn to grin as he chases you after you pull away slightly.

your fingers toy with strands of his mousey brown hair at his nape as you give a theatrically defeated sigh, "okay fine, if you insist."

it's then you wish you could steal peter's camera just to capture the glow in his eyes, at your words, because truly you wanted to save that view forever. his palms rest on the apples of your cheeks, as he gives a low breathy laugh, his nose bumping to yours.

"that took a lot of convincing."

a/n: so this may be kinda rushed, so mind the quality, BUT i miss my tasm ! peter parker ,and i rlly rlly wanted to put out a christmas eve fic, and miss idina menzel and michael buble started this war (frank sinatra too, so blame them). eitherway, hope you liked this tiny lil fic, happy holidays ❄️🎅💕 !!

[rainebelowzero]

May I request an abduction-play story? :3 (sorry I didn't know how to word this x3)

Kurt Kunkle X Dom Male Reader

notes: sorry this took so long :') anyways, I think this is the last request I had in my inbox and I have lots of time on my hands so please request stuff, also I love all of you guys, I've seen so many people that have been around since the beginning in my notifications so I wanna thank you guys for sticking around and also welcome the new people, I plan to be way more active so don't worry, I won't disappear again😋

cws: kidnapping, having sex on stream, roleplay (technically), the reader is mentioned to be an influencer but it's up to you if that's real or just part of the roleplay, using spit as lube (i know that's cringeworthy in real life but lets just pretend its an acceptable replacement for lube in this)

‘What the fuck?’ You think, your eyes opening hazily. You're….in some room, but not one you recognize. Your head hurts, and you can't even remember where you were before this. You were leaving a party one of your influencer friends was having, but other than that, you couldn't remember what happened.

You look around and realize you're tied to a chair, and you try to yank your arms back but they refuse to budge, making you wince at how tight the rope is. You huff, leaning back in the chair, trying to examine your surroundings and figure out what to do next.

Suddenly, a man comes into the room, a crazed look in his eyes despite his calm demeanor as he stares at you, holding his phone. You squint up at him.

“I wasn't expecting y-you to be awake yet.” He says with a small laugh. “Do you…remember anything?”

You don't even really want to talk to him, but knowing it's probably the only way to get out of this, you do so begrudgingly.

“...no.”

Kurt frowns, almost like a kicked puppy. “But..you said you would give me a shout out, you can’t- you don't r-remember any of that?” He asks disappointedly, his voice whiny and kind of annoying to you.

But something else he said…you said you would give him a shout out? It makes you remember what happened better. He was your weird Spree driver that you got on your way home. He made the conversation super awkward when he brought up your following and kept asking to collab, so you agreed to give him a shout out just so he would leave you alone. You drank out of a water bottle and then…you woke up here.

You glare at him.

“You're that fucking freak from the rideshare, aren't you? What the fuck is wrong with you?” You ask, once again pulling at the rope.

Kurt frowns again, moving a little bit closer.

“There's no need for insults." He says softly.

“This is seriously pathetic, you expect me to, what, just tell people to follow you? Maybe make better content, dude.” You say with a bitter laugh.

He looks genuinely hurt by what you said, and for some reason it briefly makes you feel bad, though that feeling instantly goes away. It makes you realize that he might be easy to manipulate. You could work with that.

“H-hey, I work hard on my content! And I’ve- I have a lot of fans.” He replies defensively. You put on a fake guilty expression.

“You're right,” Saying that makes you cringe, but you continue. “I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry. But I can't get into my phone if I'm tied up.”

You can see him considering letting you out, but then he grins and leans forward, pulling your phone out of your pocket.

“That's okay, I can do it myself.” He joyfully holds up the phone to unlock it with the face ID, but he frowns again when you start shutting your eyes and moving your head to stop him from unlocking it.

He grabs the back of your head, trying to force you to stay still to unlock the phone. You wince and glare even harder at him before turning your head and spitting at him, hitting him in the face. He steps back, shocked with wide eyes as he loses his grip on your hair. You swear you can see his face flush as he wipes it off, suddenly very fidgety. You squint, watching him as he avoids eye contact with you, his hand holding the phone slack at his side.

“Were you fucking into that?” You ask. This man is a freak. Little does he know, there isn't a person alive you can't outfreak.

You finally see a way to get untied, and you slide forward a little bit, spreading your legs as you stare at the man.

“Your name is Kurt, right?” You ask, lifting your leg and nudging him with your shoe, trying to get him to come closer. He does, hesitantly. He nods at your question, glancing down at your lap and then back at your face.

You're slightly uncomfortable with the silence, but it seemed like it was going to work, so you kept going with it. “Well, Kurt…I could give you something way better than views.”

He shakes his head. “There isn't really a-anything better.”

You sigh, rolling your eyes. “Fine, I'll….I don't know, give you a way to get views if you untie me.” He seems more interested after you say that. He gets closer, reaching behind you and untying the rope, and you rub your wrists because of the pain of the rope digging into you. You glance back up at Kurt, and pull him into your lap. He looks surprised, for some reason even though you were pretty obvious with your intentions.

One of your hands grabs hold of his waist while the other slides down, taking your phone out of his hand. You can feel and see his growing erection, his face flushed as he stares down at you.

“You want to be famous, right?” You ask. He nods, looking pretty pathetic, which makes a feeling of warmth shoot down to your dick. You open your streaming app and go live, pointing the camera towards Kurt’s face. It makes his clothed cock twitch, and you gently nudge him to get off of you. He does, and he gets on his knees as you shove your pants down. Nestled in between your legs, face resting on your thigh, you continue to record as the viewers slowly trickle in, the chat confused about what's happening or commenting on the man in front of you.

Kurt slowly lifts a hand, pulling your semi-hard cock out of your boxers, visibly drooling when he sees it. He looks up at you and the camera as if asking for permission, and you give him a little nod, burying your free hand in his hair. He starts to move his hand slowly, watching it twitch and grow harder before hesitantly pressing his lips to the tip.

“Look at the camera, Kurt.” You say, and his eyes lock on the phone as he licks and sucks at the head of your cock.

You start to push his head down, and he enthusiastically takes more of you into his mouth, even when he starts to gag. You pull his head back up and then push him back down, and he lets you, completely giving up control of the situation almost immediately. His eyes never leave the phone, and you take a glance at the amount of viewers.

“200 people here so far.” You tell Kurt. He lets out a muffled moan, his eyes starting to tear up as he continues to let you manipulate his movements, bobbing his head up and down. You start to get rougher, making him take you down to the base before pulling him back up for air, and then shoving him back down, drool dripping down his chin.

He gags almost every time you shove him back down, but that only turns you one more, your cock slick with his spit. You pull his head up again, watching the tears run down his cheeks.

“Tell ‘em your channel, Kurt.” You urge him as he gasps for breath.

“K- Kurtsworld- Kurtsworld96 on e-everything.” He responds shakily, still staring at the camera. You push him back down without any warning, thrusting in and out of his throat.

“If you guys wanna see more of this cockslut, go follow him.” You say teasingly as the sounds of him choking and gagging on your cock fill the background. He whines around you, and you can tell even the thought of him getting more followers because of this was turning him on even more.

You force his head back up, saliva connecting the tip of your cock and his lips as he looks ruined, spit and tears running down his face. You slap your dick against his face a few times and he moans softly, staring up at you and your phone, the amount of viewers climbing higher and higher as you make sure you give them a good view of his face. His phone goes off a few times across the room, and he whines again as you push him back a little bit and stand up. You move the chair and gesture for him to lay down on the floor, which he does instantly. You kneel between his legs, roughly getting his pants and underwear off, his cock throbbing as it's exposed to the cold air.

You press yours against his, wrapping your free hand around both of them as you make sure you're still filming. You jerk the both of you off, making Kurt squirm and moan, his cock practically leaking. The size difference between you and Kurt makes the pool of heat in your stomach even warmer. You take your hand away, gesturing for Kurt to turn over. It takes him a second to register, but he does, and you use your free hand to lift his hips, getting him into the position you want. His ass presses against your hips, your cock against his hole.

You realize you don't have any lube on hand, so you move back a little bit and spit down onto his hole, making him whimper. You do the same for your hand, wrapping it around your cock and pumping it a few times, using that and your precum to make yourself slick enough.

You move the phone so that you're holding it directly in front of you, letting them watch as you rub the tip of your cock against Kurt’s tight hole, thrusting against it a few times and hearing his soft moans. He wiggles his hips a little bit, trying to get you to speed up, so you start to push yourself into him. He gasps, moaning as you get a little less than half way in. His hands are desperately trying to grab onto something, and you groan as his walls squeeze tight around you.

His hole greedily sucks you in, and once you're fully in, you roll your hips a little bit, making him whine. You start to thrust in and out of him, gripping his waist tightly. He pushes his hips back, fucking himself back onto you the best he could, letting out loud moans and whimpers. You were a little surprised he was that vocal, but you weren't complaining at all. His legs shake, his forehead pressed against the floor. The people in the chat are saying all kinds of things about Kurt as the view count gets higher.

You reach forward, slipping two of your fingers into his mouth. He starts sucking immediately, moaning around them as his tongue laps at them hungrily. You pull them back out, swiping the saliva you collected against his hole to keep it slick enough to keep going. His cock throbs again, rubbing against the floor, which can't be comfortable, but he seems to not mind, clenching tightly around you. You groan again, squeezing his ass and pulling him back into you at a quicker pace.

His moans and whines get louder, more high pitched and you can feel he's getting closer. You bury your hand in his hair, pulling his head up and holding the phone in front of him, turning the camera around so he can see himself and the amount of people currently watching. He moans loudly, his eyes rolling back as he cums. He shoots his load against the floor underneath him, clamping down tight around you. It makes you feel your own release approaching, and you bury yourself deep inside of him, causing him to whimper from the oversensitivity as you dump your seed into him, thoroughly stuffing the man who had kidnapped you.

He falls fully onto the ground, panting heavily as you pull out and end the stream, Kurt laying there shaking, and you, completely satisfied.

BONUS

You wipe sweat from your forehead as you catch your own breath, and after a little bit, Kurt turns and sits up, his used hole leaking your cum. Your demeanor changes and you gently run a hand down his arm.

“Did I do good?” He asks, exhausted.

You lean forward, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “You did. Just don't tie the rope as tight next time, that really hurt.” You say, putting your phone down, rubbing at the soreness in your wrist as Kurt nods, getting comfortable against your chest.

[thelonelyshore-if]

Since its Christmas 🎄. It can be naughty if you want it to be 😜How would the Ro's spend it with Mc? Also what would they like as a present 🎁 and what would they give Mc?

Oooooh I love these!! Very festive haha. Answers under the cut because, as is typical of me, this got long. 🎄🎄🎄

Beck: doesn't personally celebrate Christmas, but their family does. Would prefer spending Christmas Eve with MC--getting drunk on eggnog, going sledding or skating, baking cookies and trying to frost them before they cool, staying up late and falling asleep after sloppily making out on the couch. Christmas day they'd probably pop in to see their family--at least long enough to give their nephew a gift--but would want to get out ASAP.

When it comes to presents they receive, they like cool clothes and anything 'exciting'. Make of that what you will. When it comes to giving, they're a very impulsive gifter. They tend to grab whatever reminds them most of MC and hope for the best. That, and they'd probably make MC their favorite desert c:

Croft: much like...every other holiday, Christmas depresses the hell out of Croft. They miss their family. Especially their mom. Still, if MC felt strongly about celebrating, they'd do their best. They are fond of bad, Hallmark-y Christmas movies, so they'd want to do a marathon with cocoa and candy canes. Something simple, that allows them to get away from their emotions for a little bit.

For gifts they receive, Croft is quite picky. They like accessories and anything to do with the occult, but they don't feel like they need anything. Whatever they want, they buy for themself, so they don't really enjoy receiving gifts. Also, they will readily accept presents for Bones as presents for themself lmao. Give that cat a sweater and Croft will be thrilled.

They're a very thoughtful gift-giver. It's their love language. They get frustrated that they can't splurge on MC the way they would in the 'real world', but would still pick out the exact thing they think MC wants, and wouldn't hesitate to spend a ton of money on them.

Jay: oh, they'd want to go the whole nine yards. They love Christmas and any other holiday that lets them spend time with family. They also grew up Catholic, and while they're neutral on religion these days, Christmas mass is kind of a big one. So they'd want to spend Christmas Eve solo--just MC and them--doing romantic stuff. Exchanging gifts, hot cocoa, Christmas music, maybe go ice skating? And then Christmas morning they'd go to mass with their mom and sister (MC is invited, but Jay would 100% not expect them to come, or feel bad if they didn't). Christmas day would be a big celebration with their family and MC (and, I guess, Willow would be invited eventually lmao).

For presents, if you got them a dog they'd be the happiest person in the world lol. They also like anything 'practical'--a new pocket knife, a winter prep kit for their car, etc. They're kind of boring. That being said, new mystery novels or audio books would be great! Jay isn't as obsessive over finding the perfect gift as Croft is, but they're pretty observant. I think they'd spend a good amount of time listening to MC and trying to figure out something that they'd really want.

Perri: Christmas would be a hard one for them, for different reasons than Croft. Honestly they'd prefer to keep it kind of quiet. Making dinner together on Christmas Eve, exchanging gifts, just spending quality time together. They do really enjoy Christmas lights, so I think they'd like to also drive around town and just look at all the pretty lights. Christmas day they'd feel obligated to pop in and spend some time with their grandmother. It would be terse and short and awkward. But, that night, they would do a 'Christmas Ghost Story Spectacular' on their radio show, and they'd love MC to be a part of that!

Perri is pretty easy to shop for, because they're content with lots of different stuff. They like fun accessories and clothes, books and movies, comics, gadgets/toys, music ofc, even funny gag sort of gifts tbh. Anything that makes them smile. When it comes to giving, Perri would make MC the most carefully curated mixed tape imaginable. And also would probably buy them something small and sweet and thoughtful.

Ravi: would need to be reminded that Christmas is even coming, the man doesn't pay attention to holidays for the most part. That being said, he'd enjoy spending time with MC! He likes an excuse to get cozy and to keep MC all to himself, without any expectations to leave the house lmao. Probably would want to make dinner together on Christmas day--something over the top, especially just for the two of them. Would hang mistletoe to give him an excuse to keep stealing kisses. It would be quiet and romantic, if he had it his way.

Ravi hates presents, and doesn't ever want anything. He's a giant pain to shop for because of this. He'd appreciate something homemade--he'd find it thoughtful--but would be the type to say that spending time with MC is gift enough. You might be able to get him a puzzle or some yarn, though, and he'd be appreciative. He also, to be honest, kind of sucks at buying presents. He panics. So he'd straight-up ask MC what they wanted and buy that exact thing, or maybe knit them a scarf.

Yasmin: absolutely 100% throws a big Christmas Eve party at her house. The woman loves a party, and has a lot of friends who would rather be together than either a) alone or b) with their families. So she'd want MC there with her, to co-host and also just to be together. Get drunk, play some Christmas-y games, get a little silly with it. She'd kick everyone out eventually, though, so that she could have MC all to herself. Christmas day she'd want to spend one on one, enjoying one another's company--maybe with movies, definitely with Christmas music.

When it comes to gifts, she's pretty relaxed! There's lots of stuff she enjoys, and as long as it's clear that MC put some thought into it, she'll be happy. She likes candles and jewelry and books. As for giving gifts, Yasmin buys everyone books. Every year. She tailors said book to the person, of course--a cookbook, a guide to a hobby you've been talking about picking up, the newest novel by your favorite author--but you're getting a book. She might splurge a little bit for MC, though, since they're her partner ;)

[hypotheticalprose]

Dandadan Finale, or why cutting your season in half is fucking stupid

The end of Dandadan season 1 has rightfully frustrated or turned off some viewers, but I think the way that the story has been framed, especially by the abrupt ending mid-arc, has a lot to do with the reception. This is also a broader meditation on edgier scenes in storytelling and what, if anything, can justify their use.

Spoilers for Dandadan season two, so be warned I guess. Content warning for discussion of sexual assault.

Some people have pointed out that in the manga, Momo’s encounter at the bath is resolved in a single chapter as a point in favor of it being not a big deal. While that’s true, I don’t think that gets to the point of what turns people off from these kinds of things: the feeling of gratuity and lack of necessity. If something is included in a story for seemingly no reason, people are going to assume that the reason was self-indulgence. And it’s very, very reasonable to be creeped out by a story that seemingly self-indulges in that kind of thing.

The question that really matters is, what is the story trying to say with the inclusion of this scene? A clean-cut example of a challenging scene with a purpose is actually the first episode of Dandadan, where Momo’s fight with her shitty, abusive boyfriend is replicated shot-for-shot with her fight against the Serpo. In both cases, she is fighting back, but unlike the first time, when she only wins a moral victory by telling him to fuck off, in the second scene she demolishes the aliens, establishing that she is not a damsel in distress, but rather the protagonist of the story.

Let’s go back to the bathhouse scene and zoom outa a bit. In the manga, it’s established that the men who attack her in the bath are members of the Kito family, who also happen to be Jiji’s landlords and the main antagonists of the arc. At the same time that the men attack her, the Kito family woman barge into Jiji’s home, threaten him with a shotgun, and generally act similarly threatening. It’s also established that the Kito family see themselves as the guardians of their town, but the rest of the town seems to despise them; the men get chased out of the bath after Momo kicks their ass and are only saved by a corrupt cop in their payroll.

So, what is the story trying to say?

The Kito family are utterly entitled. Because they “keep the town safe,” they view any transgression as compensation for their sacrifice. The fact that they don’t actually sacrifice anything themselves is utterly irrelevant to them. Their matriarch even explicitly tells Momo that they “keep the hot springs safe” despite the fact that they do the exact opposite of that. The literal sacrifices that they commit is a mirror to this.

Another thing to consider: there’s a reason every member of the family is depicted as middle-aged or old. They’re a living embodiment of the entitlement of older generations; shitty parents, abusive landlords, creepy older men who twist social norms to their own benefit.

A secondary purpose of the bath scene is that it introduces Turbo-Granny’s luck-based powers that she gained from her new cat form, as well as demonstrating that despite her harsh words, she doesn’t tolerate the abuse of girls around her, including Momo. It’s a moment of camaraderie between the two of them that develops their bond.

So clearly, this is not an instance of gratuitous sexual abuse. It serves a purpose in the story. The problem is that it only serves that purpose as a small part of a longer arc. Making it a cliffhanger is an utterly incomprehensible choice, especially when the next episode doesn’t come out for six months. Holy shit, that’s such a bad idea! Removing the scene from its context makes it gratuitous! Frankly, it would be better not to have it at all if that’s your plan. It didn’t sit right with me, and I knew the context. For anime-only viewers, it feels like it utterly undermines the point made in the first episode. It makes Momo into a victim again instead of the hero. Ending the season like that is a betrayal of the story’s original message.

Science SARU remains one of my favorite animation studios of all time, but this was a missed input of gargantuan proportions. This is also why 12-episode seasons that are actually just half of a season are stupid as fuck.

One last point before I sign off on this: I think it’s very reasonable to not be interested in a story where sexual assault is played for laughs, drama, or horror. Even if it is technically proficient and serves a purpose, it isn’t for everyone. An example is Devilman Crybaby’s reboot, also by Science SARU, as well as Fire Punch and Chainsaw Man by Tatsuki Fujimoto. I wouldn’t just recommend those to anyone without warning them about the challenging elements. It’s no different from extreme non-sexual violence, or explicit consensual sex scenes, really. People have different comfort levels, and that’s totally fine. Lord knows I have my limits. I’ve been watching Ranma 1/2 lately, and I despise Happosai with every fiber of my being and skip every episode he shows up in. I’d kill him with a hammer if I could.

[voidedaurora]

I hope your partner breaks up with you. Because how can you say those things leading on Mel then blame THEM for it. WTF man, I sided with you.

I have no clue who you are, but the stuff Mels saying about me "leading her on" is completely untrue and was not what was happening. My entire relationship/friendship with her I was used as a rebound, second option, and generally just used period for whatever she needed/desired from someone any time she wanted it. Whether that be a rebound to act affectionate to after a breakup, or someone to vent about her sexual frustrations to. This mixed with rampant mental illness and nearly 3-4 years of having on and off crushes on her (where she'd give ME the whole "Im just not ready to date yet" talk leading ME on) all combined into a toxic idolization of her that caused me to be lowkey DELUSIONAL about my feelings for her and constantly walking on eggshells as not to upset her and make her distance from me As shown in her OWN screenshots you can see me sending vents that say stuff such as "I'm sorry you both love me that's so fucked up", that is NOT the only one of that type, at the time I had felt absolutely horrible for having feelings for the both of them, I'd been open about my feelings to BOTH Clover and Mel, expressing my distress at the situation as I'd felt torn to pick between the two and was a mess as a result of that. I was NOT happy about having the feelings I did and was aware it wasn't ending well for anyone either way, I felt stuck and obligated to appease the both of them at the same time so I didn't end up taking ANY courses of action in any direction and ended up becoming Aromantic as a result of all of this. I'm aware I should've ended things earlier than I did with all of those feelings, but I was open about these things with Clover and NEVER acted upon the feelings outside of having a conversation or two with Mel about said feelings. I'd like to note that in the stream, according to a couple of people she had mentioned off handedly I was high in those screenshots, which was why I was typing/speaking so oddly, this was around when I had been overusing/practically addicted to edibles, using them everyday. I was extremely mentally unwell and generally wanted to cut my life short because of everything going on around that time. This is not me trying to garner pity, or excuse any bad things I MAY have done within that time span but its an explanation. All of that to say, I was not in the correct mental state to be having a concise conversation about my feelings for Mel, and was not in the right mental to be wording things correctly. Some of you may think "well why didn't you correct you wording later on?" well, I wasn't lying to her when I'd said those things and talked about all of that with her, I just definitely should've worded things more carefully for both her and Clovers sake ,and honestly I didn't even remember this conversation until she brought it up :/ Its crazy she's trying to do all of this as if I hadn't JUST turned 17 when this was going on, AND was on substances which she was ALREADY aware of. Im just bewildered honestly Additionally, I went back in the conversation and she very kindly and conveniently left out these parts of the conversation where she literally goes "I know you're not leading me on" n shit. aswell as the fact the conversation literally began because she was complaining about being horny.

I am ABSOLUTELY not saying that someone cant have something done to them just because they say so, because that is dumb and untrue for many reasons. BUT, this is here to kind of point out the fact that she's spinning what was actually going on in some desperate attempt to paint me as the secret evil guy, or trying to distract from her own wrongdoings by giving ya'll something else to look at.

Either way, 2023 and early 2024 were really fucking rough times for me, I almost did not live through it and am so grateful for the ones that did end up staying despite my bad moments and helped shape me into becoming a better person. I definitely understand how this could come off as me leading her on and dissing Clover but I promise you that is not what my intent was, I was just expressing my feelings in the only way I knew how at the time and I'm sorry it wasn't in the Ideal/correct way </3 I'm doing alot better now and have been on a long break from any sort of dating/romance to shape myself into becoming someone that can love someone the right way that they deserve in the future. I've been making a huge effort to become better so I only ask that ya'll will stick around to see the better me I'm working hard to become </33 And again just to state, If Mel ever wants to sort these resentments/feelings out like adults, I've never had her blocked on discord and plan to keep it like that. This "callout" of hers isn't something illegal, it isn't something morally TERRIBLE, it isn't being sexual around minors, or ANYTHING CLOSE to being worthy of her airing my business out to her 100k or so subscribers LIVE, unlike my callout this is literally just her airing my stuff out, out of desperation and spite. Sorry this post is scattered, I'm just honestly unsure how to reply/explain everything without completely airing out my personal business and feelings

[starry-bi-sky]

tales of the passerine - danny fenton being bruce wayne's first kid

okay okay. so this is like a continuation/elaboration of my oneshot/prompt i wrote about the idea that Danny was the first batkid. We have a lot of aus where he joins the family after the rest of the bats do, right? So hey! Lets shake things up a bit. Danny is the first to be adopted by Bruce Wayne.

Danny's parents and unfortunately Jazz die shortly after the events of TUE -- how so? I was gonna say an ecto-filter explosion, that would call back to the TUE explosion and trauma behind that. But lets do something new! Carbon-monoxide poisoning.

It's not too unexpected for something to break in the Fenton house, especially with the Fenton parents' questionable understanding of proper weapon handling and lab safety. The water heater broke from a stray shot by one of the weapons, and was promptly MacGyver'd incorrectly. Danny went to stay with Tucker for a guys' night, and came back to a dead silent house.

(Danny's neighbors got a very unfortunate shock when he ran to the next house over in hysterics.)

There was a lot of shuffling around with CPS, the police. People had to be called in to handle the equipment in the lab, and the GIW was rumoring to show up in aid to clearing the scene. When Danny heard of that, he immediately went and dismantled the ghost portal to the best of his abilities. He burned the physical blueprints of all his parents' inventions, their blueprints on the ghost portal, and their most dangerous weapons were destroyed beyond recognition. Anything to prevent the GIW from getting their hands on his parents' tech.

It opened up another investigation, but he was not under the list of suspects. He was placed in the care of Vlad Masters, where they then went back to the rebuilt castle mansion in Wisconsin. Danny, terrified of the future that has once passed and may do so again, shuts down in his grief. Inadvertently, he ends up somewhat repressing his ghost half. Something Vlad, who is grieving Madeline but relishing in Jack's demise and his custody of Daniel, is not very happy with.

Vlad's... gone into a bit of a mental health spiral. He's becoming increasingly possessive over Daniel, the final remnants of his friends and a liminal being like him. He doesn't like that Danny's repressing his ghost half -- both out of genuine concern as a ghost, but also because of his desire to control Danny and groom him into the perfect son. If you ever had a phase where you read Dark SBI found family fics, first off; me too bro, and second off; those are the vibes I'm thinking of.

Danny's mentally shut down from grief! And fear. He's dropped into a bad depressive state -- paralyzed with grief and the terror of the inevitable. Clockwork saved his parents because he believes in second chances, but what's the point of that when his family ended up dead anyways? Danny doesn't wanna believe that he's destined to become evil, and he's holding out onto that hope, but it's a thin line, and he feels utterly hopeless and trapped. He hasn't used his powers or ghost form since he trashed the lab, and Vlad has alarms set up to prevent him from trying to escape.

He's also unintentionally cut off Sam and Tucker -- both of whom are so scared and concerned for Danny too, and are trying their damndest to reach out to him. He keeps ignoring their texts. Danny basically haunts Vlad's manor. He goes out to eat if he has to, attends parties Vlad drags him to, and stays in his room all day if he can.

At parties, Vlad doesn't allow Danny to leave his side, or really talk to anyone -- not that Danny wants to. A product of Vlad's increasing possessiveness. Well, he almost doesn't let Danny leave his side. Danny has a habit of slipping off to hide somewhere for the parties whenever he can, and Vlad reluctantly allows it so long as he stays alone.

This becomes an advantage when eventually, Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham after missing for years, and holds a bright charity ball to celebrate the return. Vlad has been chomping at the bits to get his hands on Wayne Industries, and with the return of its owner there is no better opportunity to wipe out his rival. He goes, and he as normal, brings Daniel with him.

Vlad thinks Wayne will bleed his little heart out for Daniel's poor orphan sob story -- he's a fellow orphan himself, after all. He's not wrong; Wayne's little heart will bleed, just not in the way that benefits him.

Bruce sees Vlad and Danny approaching before they're even close enough to introduce themselves - and like with many of the children he will soon come to care for, it's like someone set a mirror into the past right in front of him.

Danny Fenton's suit is tailor-made for him, and despite the fact that it's his perfect size, the sag in his shoulders, the ducked down head, and the way he hunches into himself all pictures the image of a child in shoes too big for him. There's a far away, glazed over look in his eyes and grief marble-cut into the lines of his face. There's not enough makeup in the world that will hide the dark circles under his eyes.

("My nephew, Daniel Fenton." Vlad's hands are possessive on Danny's shoulders. Bruce immediately notices the way the boy tenses under his touch. "His parents passed recently, and as his godfather I was designated his guardian.") ("I'm so sorry, the loss must've been terrible.") ("Yes, carbon-monoxide poisoning caused it. Daniel was out with friends, when he came home... they had already passed.") (Bruce immediately dislikes that Vlad shared the details of their death unprompted -- he likes it even less when Danny flinches at the reminder and hunches into himself.)

Danny runs off at some point earlier into the charity. At this point, parties are still being held at Wayne Manor (because iirc google search mentioned that was a thing at first before it was changed), so he disappears and hides in one of the empty rooms nearby. It just so happens to be the same room Bruce Wayne hides in when he needs a break from all of the socialization.

Thus begins a long, long process of trust. Bruce can't reveal his hand as being smarter than he looks, but he can be compassionate. Kindness needs no measure of intelligence. He keeps Danny company for as long as he can before he runs the risk of being found.

Rinse and repeat. Vlad insistently wants Wayne Industries, and he'll go to as many Wayne parties as he can to get his hooks into the man. The problem is that Bruce Wayne is never alone, and getting him alone is impossible. Finding him too. It's like the man never stops moving. Always talking to someone, always circling somewhere. He orbits around the room as if he isn't the sun of the Gotham Elite's solar system.

Danny's had such repetitive behavior that Vlad never thinks to believe that Bruce Wayne is disappearing to go talk to him. That "Vlad's" son is even interacting with him at all. Danny never gives him a reason to think so, and neither does Bruce.

Danny doesn't actually acknowledge Bruce until a handful of parties in, where he hands Bruce a small slip of paper he smuggled in that says; "don't trust Vlad". Danny's face stays carefully blank, but he's so tense that his hands are trembling, and he's purposely looking away from him. Bruce plasters a smile onto his face, slips the paper into his pocket, and tells him "okay".

(he's been busy with his own goals with the mafia, but he sets aside time to investigate Vlad Masters. He was holding off. Until now.)

Danny does eventually start speaking to Bruce, he's starting to really like the guy. He's starting to see a little hope, even as Vlad is starting to get more and more agitated with him the more he refuses to use his powers.

He reaches out to Sam and Tucker again, and starts trying to reconnect with them. Vlad has spyware on his phone, and he limits the amount of times he can talk to them. A weird parental control lock of some sort that leaves a time limit on how long he can talk to them for. 30 minutes. Danny doesn't tell them anything about Mr. Wayne.

Danny, slowly, wants out of here, and he's slowly gathering the motivation to do it. Vlad is genuinely scaring him -- and Danny wonders just how truthful the past-future Vlad was when he told him that Danny wanted his ghost half separate. He starts trying to come up with an escape plan.

Vlad has anti-ghost wards everywhere around the mansion, and while they're always on, they boost to full power at sunset. The doors and windows are always locked, all main exits have alarms set on them. The only reason it's not super extensive is because Danny hasn't tried leaving at all yet, so Vlad hasn't had to tighten anything.

At night, Vlad locks the door to his room and puts up an anti-ghost ward around the room. The mansion is on the outside westward side of Madison, more entrenched in rural Wisconsin. The closest town is a four-way stop sign with one house on three corners, and an open bar on the fourth. Not much to go.

He refuses to go to Sam and Tucker; Vlad would look there first. It's too dangerous. Vlad would sound alarm bells and have a manhunt looking for him, Danny can't risk going just anywhere. Too much risk of being found, sold out, or caught. There's really nowhere for him to hide.

Until there is. Bruce is telling Danny about the history of Wayne Manor, and says, as casually as saying the weather; "The manor has dozens of empty rooms, I'm sure Alfred wouldn't mind filling another one if he could." And quietly, hesitantly, Bruce places a careful hand on Danny's shoulder, unrestrictive and gentle; "He wouldn't mind getting one ready for you if you need one."

And there it is. There's his out.

Danny, just as quietly, replies; "I'll keep that in mind."

The ball starts rolling.

Now I've been trying to summarize this au as much as possible for length convenience, but Vlad has been steadily growing more and more controlling. More emotionally manipulative. More agitated at Danny for not using his powers.

He wants Wayne Industries under his thumb but he's been steadily growing more and more concerned with Danny. He's started grabbing him, yanking him around, shaking him; trying to goad him into using his powers. He gets angry when Danny doesn't react, or tells him he doesn't want to use his powers. He hasn't outright attacked him, but he's getting there. This has been happening over the time it takes for Bruce to indirectly offer Danny sanctuary at his home.

It all comes to a head when Vlad stops going to parties at all -- something Danny has to pretend he isn't upset about -- because Vlad doesn't want him around other people anymore. Vlad rarely goes now without him, and only leaves to go to a Wayne function or to handle something at VladCo.

Danny can't wait for Vlad to leave long enough to escape. So he leaves during the night of a big storm. Vlad's locked him in his room, but Danny doesn't bother trying to go for it; he goes to the alarmed window instead. Danny's been repressing his ghost half so long that he can't access his powers immediately anymore -- he can feel it, he knows its there, but he can't quite reach it.

He breaks the lock by hand.

Immediately the alarm goes off through the entire castle, filling the room with red, and he scrambles for the rope the Wisconsin Ghost left for him a few months back. Danny's already out and climbing down the side of the castle before Vlad even reaches his door -- the only good thing about the entire room being ghost-proof is that Vlad can't get in that way.

The rope ends before it reaches the bottom, and he's still twenty feet in the air. It won't kill him if he lands it right. Danny takes his chances, and drops. He breaks his ankle, but he survives.

And he fucking books it to the back garden. He hears Vlad shrieking over the thunder and rain.

I'll save the full experience for a future oneshot, but Danny makes it out into the nearby woods and forcibly experiences what it's like to be in a horror game, trying to hide from the thing that's hunting you. There's only one thing going through his mind; "i'm going to die"

I have this mental image for this scene. Very stereotypical horror imo. Where Danny is hiding behind a tree, with a hand over his mouth, and Vlad is a few feet away from him, glowing ominously red through the trees, trying to search for him.

Danny doesn't get away from this unscathed, but he does get away alive. That's all he could ask for. He gets away by getting his ghost half awakened long enough to transform into Phantom and fly to Gotham.

But he gets to Wayne Manor, he gets to Bruce. Or, at least, Alfred answers the door from his insistent pounding. Danny's just in tears and Alfred gets him in the living room, wrapped in a towel, with ice on his swollen leg before he has to step out and alert Bruce.

Bruce already breaks multiple traffic laws on a nightly basis. And that's just with the sheer existence of the batmobile itself, not including the speeding and military artillery attached. He breaks double the amount trying to speed back to the cave and get out of the suit.

Right off the bat: Bruce will know, at least before Dick enters the picture, about danny's powers. He'll figure out something considering the fact that Danny traveled from Wisconsin to New York in a single night. That'll be a bit of complicated affair, but I've already got something in mind.

Actually it'll probably be very soon after Danny joins the family, because Bruce tries to offer to fight for custody for Danny - the state Danny was in at arrival is clear enough evidence for a trial. But Danny immediately shuts it down, says it's not going to work and then Vlad will know Danny's with him and he won't be safe. He tells him that Vlad cannot know Danny was with Bruce.

Danny's biggest regret was not telling his parents he was a halfa, and while he doesn't want to tell mister wayne (yet), he does tell him about Vlad being one. He needs to know why Danny can't be seen with Bruce. So he tells him, and Danny's current plan is to just hide out from Vlad until he turns 18. That way, he has no more legal jurisdiction over him. After that? He's not sure.

And to wrap this up, since this has already gotten very long and I can make more posts about this au later; I've thought about it, and I'm going to say that Danny does become a vigilante before Dick enters the scene. He goes by, as you probably guessed; Nightingale. "Gale" for short.

[kagoutiss]

green beetle black beetle

[greyedian]

MAN I'm seriously so sad about season 2. Bc I wish act 2 had the same emotional impact on me as it appears to have on so many others. But rn I'm just somewhere between unable to care and actively annoyed by some of those writing decisions. Seriously the more I think about it the less I like it.

[gunsatthaphan]

~ Monthly BL Breakdown: April 2024 ~ 

🌷 Happy May!!! ☀️

Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post! 

New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns

What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)

🌟 Love is Like a Cat - April 1st (South Korea / Thailand) 

🌟 We Are - April 3rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Memory in the Letter - April 6th (Thailand) 

🌟 Living With Him - April 11th (Japan) 

🌟 Gray Shelter - April 11th (South Korea) 

🌟 Beating Again - April 13th (Thailand)

🌟 Blue Boys - April 15th (South Korea)

🌟 At 25:00 in Alasaka - April 18th (Japan)

🌟 GMMTV2024 Part 2 (lineup event) - April 23rd (Thailand) ✅

🌟 Boys Be Brave - April 25th (South Korea) 

🌟 CHANGE2561 2024 lineup event - April 25th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 My Stand-In - April 26th (Thailand) ✅

🌟 City Boy Log Vol. 3 - April 30th (South Korea)

New series & movie announcements

🎥 The Fridge - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Flavor of Us (starring Benjamin B., Dome W. & others) - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Children's Day - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Blue Time - Date TBA (China, possibly censored)

🎥 Bad Guy My Boss - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Oriental Magician In The Ent. Circle - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Under the Oak Tree - Date TBA (Vietnam)

🎥 Invitation - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 The Love Matter - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Saw You in My Dream - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 I Wish You the Best - Date TBA (Thailand)

🎥 Impression of Youth - Date TBA (Taiwan)

🎥 Meet You at the Blossom - Date TBA (Taiwan)

Other news from the BL world

❗️ The production company Studio WabiSabi announced that their actors Boun N., Prem W., Santa P., Sammy C., Yacht P. and Stamp P. have terminated their contracts and will no longer be artists under the company on April 15th. Shortly after, GMMTV announced the 6 of them as newly signed artists, along with the disclosure that BounPrem's upcoming BL Vampire Project is now being produced under GMMTV, who now also own all broadcasting rights; WabiSabi will function as a co-producer. New S. stated on Twitter that the decisions had been long in the making, as well as the fact that WabiSabi no longer functions as a management agency for actors and is now a mere production company. He also denied the rumors that the company is shutting down. Shortly after the transfer of the Wabi Sabi actors, actor Fluke Jeeratch (formerly Pongsakorn) joined GMMTV as well.

❗️ The Filipino BL Gameboys is getting a third season. An air date has not been confirmed.

❗️ P Ekkapop and Pan Jirachot, the lead actors from Kiseki Chapter 2, have announced a new project together. Details are unknown.

❗️ Actor Barcode Tinnasit has announced his departure from his agency Be On Cloud.

❗️ After some confusion, the Korean production company Studio X+U announced that their upcoming series Fragile - which was initially advertized as a Korean SKAM remake - is in fact not connected to the Norwegian web series and is instead a standalone series, which focuses on the life of a group of teenagers. According to ZUM News, there was supposed to be a Korean SKAM remake based on the Norwegian original, which was however cancelled due to unknown reasons. Fragile was created as a substitution.

❗️ GMMTV held their 2024 part 2 event on April 23rd. The following BL projects were announced:

The Heart Killers (starring FirstKhao & JoongDunk)

Perfect10 Liners (starring ForceBook, PerthChimon, JuniorMark)

Heart That Skips a Beat (starring EstWilliam)

Revamp (starring BounPrem, formerly known as Vampire Project)

Sweet Tooth, Good Dentist (starring MarkOhm)

The Ex-Morning (starring KristSingto)

❗️ The production company CHANGE2561 held their 2024 lineup event on April 25th. The following BL projects were announced:

This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans (starring SailubPon)

Goddess Bless You From Death (starring PavelPooh)

I’m The Most Beautiful Count (starring PingSupanut)

Pit Babe Season 2

Upcoming series & movies for May

👉🏻 You Made My Day (starring Tar A. and Bom T. from I Will Knock You) - May 3rd (Thailand)

👉🏻 Inverse Identity / Upside Down - Mary 3rd (China)

👉🏻 Wandee Goodday - May 4th (Thailand)

👉🏻 A Balloon's Landing - May 10th (Taiwan)

👉🏻 City of Stars: Special Episode - May 10th (Thailand, cinema release)

👉🏻 The Time of Fever (Unintentional Love Story spinoff) - May 15th (South Korea)

👉🏻 Blossom Campus - May 16th (South Korea)

👉🏻 OMG! Vampire - May 19th (Thailand)

👉🏻 Manji Reverse - May 24th (Japan)

👉🏻 My Biker 2 - May 28th (Thailand)

[sallymew4]

i dont think i made his hair big enough honestly

[bitchthefuck1]

you know what, I actually will talk about this because it's bothering me. The issue with focussing so heavily on syd and carmy's potential for a romantic relationship isn't that there's something inherently unintellectual about romance or whatever, it's that a lot of people seem incapable of doing that without immediately flattening the story and ignoring or intentionally misreading any and all nuance for the sake of that romance. Every scene suddenly becomes about how it impacts their relationship, every analysis is done through a romantic lens, every frame or line of dialogue becomes about finding some easter egg or hint that "proves" these people should start dating. Their dynamic is absolutely a fundamental part of this show, but if you can only see it as a will-they-won't-they, you miss so much of what the story is actually trying to say with these two.

There are good versions of this story where their relationship is romantic and there are good versions of this story where it isn't, but as soon as you decide them being together is "the point," you lose the ability to actually judge the story for what it is, not what you want it to be.

[cowboy-robooty]

imma be so fr rn i think its homophobic when people are fine with yuri but go up in arms about yaoi. like seriously. because its so fucking stupid to act as though yuri is somehow less fetishistic than yaoi when legit the entire fetish appeal of lesbianism in yuri is the fact that its "so pure and untainted by men". Straight men who consume yuri love it because they have a thing for purity in a similar vein as straight women love yaoi for being guys "sinning" and shit. I think both of these sentiments are foul in their own respective ways and its plain ignorant to act as though the "purity" of yuri is made out of a respect for lesbians instead of fetishistic appeal. And dont get it twisted rn and think im saying yaoi and yuri both suck; you know i love both of these genres, but i can criticize it without saying the genre as a whole is some evil demon shit. Straight erotica also houses a plethora of problematic themes and sentiments because every genre is going to have issues, especially when its lewd content. Lewd content is made TO BE fetishistic because well... its lewd; the problems that arise are not black or white matters and I think that if people are willing to enjoy straight erotic manga critically but unwilling to give the same grace to yaoi or yuri then thats plain homophobic. Because when people act as though yaoi and yuri having these problems means that the genres as a whole are unsalvagable while straight erotica can still be excused, it implies that homosexuals are obligated to be BETTER than heterosexual content to be accepted. It creates this idea that homosexual content is somehow inherently more dirty and needs to make up for this fact by being morally superior in other ways. 50 shades of gray and twilight can exist with a littany of foul tropes and problematic themes that are completely put into a fetishistic light, and yes it recieves mockery and is called cringe (because it is), but how come thats all it gets while some yaoi has the same shit going on and is treated like the entire genre as a whole needs to be exterminated??????? nobody has ever said that all shitty novels made for lonely women need to be demolished because of twilight and 50 shades of gray, and anyone who has gets called out for their misogyny because its fucking stupid to act like an entire genre of content should be killed for some cringe loser shit being mixed in with it. All porn has problematic tropes, and its so homophobic to act like specifically the genre of gay men having sex is the most egregious offender of these tropes while passing off yuri as fine because the problematic tropes it houses feed into the idea of purity.

Like oh my god, the majority of yuri is not made for lesbians. Even though it is made by women, these women are not fucking queer women. They're straight women who are feeding into the misogynistic ideals of pure, feminine women remaining pure and feminine by keeping untainted by men while exploring eachothers bodies. thats why yaoi and yuris problems mirror eachother in that you see an abundance of heteronormativity in yaoi (big semes, small ukes; with the smaller feminine one being lured into a tainted world of sin by being gay or whatever) while yuri has the opposite problem with a lack of body diversity because it focuses on ideal feminine ladies remaining untouched by "sin" by only touching eachother. Why do you think that around the same time yaoi was full of shit like junjou romantica bullshit yuri was also notorious for being boring as hell with two girls thats have no personalities making out together? Because BOTH of these genres had these issues much more severely in the 2000s-2010s. Yaoi was too crazy with that sinning fetish while Yuri was too boring with that purity fetish. Its also so stupid when people keep using examples from that era of yaoi as evidence that western mlm work is sooooo much better and superior compared to the entire fucking genre because its comparing shit from ten years ago to shit made now. Idk if you remember but literally ten years ago pedo bear was a normal thing that was goddamn EVERYWHERE online. Culture changes and i can assure you western gay media was not so squeaky clean during that time either; but this is a whole 'nother enchilada to be devoured another time.

Anyways in short; its homophobic as hell if you embrace yuri but shun yaoi. All you're doing is showing you have a fundamental lack of understanding concerning the roots of yuri and who yuri is actually made for. You're acting like gay men having sex is inherently "dirtier" than straight people having sex and that they need to compensate by being more morally righteous. I'm not saying that the different problematic tropes found in each type of erotica is good and shouldn't be changed, but its homophobic to excuse straight porn while refusing that same grace to yaoi. And it disgusts me seeing people continue to perpetuate the sentiment of gay men being seen as sin and lesbian women being seen as pure (in an almost baby-fying way) only wrapped up in a new convoluted form of packaging while acting like theyre protecting homosexuals.

[moeblob]

Erin, to her crush: You're a dick

Mason, the crush: I won't argue! But to clarify -

[gunstellations]

theyre looking at pictures of sumo

scene from:

[satorugojoswiife]

What do you think about gojo ships

I feel like I'm pretty indifferent to most of them. This is super cringe of me, but whenever I fall super in love with a character I don't often like shipping them romantically with anyone. 💀 (im delusional I know)

It doesn't help that for some reason the jjk fandom (especially twt) is weirdly aggressive about ships. I know it isn't all the shippers and it's mostly just the loud minority, but seeing so much of the discourse has kinda put me off and I don't really engage much with the ships in the fandom except for rarepairs and selfships bc alot of the time those communities are more wholesome and cozy (if that makes sense LOL)