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Paul McCartney had a crush on his English teacher: A Study

I’ve been meaning to make a post about this for a while but I’ve been too lazy to compile all the evidence (my downfall will be my laziness). But finally, I’ve committed to doing it !!

After watching and reading countless interviews, ‘Dusty’ Alan Durband has come up enough times in them for me to start suspecting that he maybe wasn’t just a great teacher in Paul’s mind…

(Even though my main theory is that Paul had a crush on his teacher, this is also an excuse to talk about Alan Durband in general. After looking into him, he genuinely seems like a fantastic teacher and a huge influence on Paul’s life- despite this, he isn’t talked about a lot… Let’s show a little love to Dusty !)

To start, a little introduction:

Alan Durband photographed in 1946

‘Dusty’ Alan Durband was Paul’s sixth form English teacher from 1958 to 1960. For any non-Brits who might not know how the British education system works, sixth form is the two years of schooling you receive after you graduate secondary school and before you apply to attend university- Paul would’ve been 16-18 when he was taught by Durband.

Durband had a great reputation as an English teacher, known for his creative and engaging teaching style. Whenever Paul speaks about him, he always makes it known that Durband was very well-liked by all the students at Liverpool Institute.

Durband was also very progressive in his views, being a left-wing atheist and socialist. In addition, he was a pacifist, refusing to enter the armed forces when he was called to do his compulsory national service (fun fact: he was nicknamed ‘Dusty’ because he was assigned to work in a coal mine instead of joining the army). I imagine these viewpoints would’ve shone through in his teaching, especially considering he taught English- a very political subject.

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Okay, now that we know who Durband is, I think it’s important to establish some things about Paul before going into why I think he might’ve been attracted to Durband:

It’s pretty clear that this is all under the assumption that Paul was queer (by the time Paul was in sixth form, he would’ve already known John for a year- enough time to develop non-platonic feelings towards men/John). Still, being a teenage boy in 1950s Liverpool, he most definitely would’ve suppressed any sort of queer feelings. If Paul felt any attraction towards Dusty, it would’ve looked like a strong teacher-student bond on the surface rather than an outright crush.

It’s common knowledge that Jim McCartney wasn’t a great father. Both Paul and Mike have spoken about Jim’s abuse over the years. I won't go into it in too much detail but if you're interested in reading more about it, @shimmyalong has a great post about it here, which I highly recommend reading. (I’d just like to mention, Durband was one of the few teachers at the Liverpool Institute who didn’t use physical punishments on students).

It’s fairly obvious that Paul’s childhood abuse would’ve affected how he acted towards authority figures, particularly older men. I’m no psychologist but from what I know, children who experience parental abuse tend to develop crushes on older authority figures. They do this as a form of attention seeking, craving the attention that they never received as children in any way possible.

Looking at Paul’s behaviour during the Beatle years, he was always described as the ‘eager-to-please’ one. When the other Beatles didn’t want to be professional, Paul would be there to take that role of the affable, charming Beatle. I can’t help but think that Paul’s tendency to seek approval and praise stems from his childhood traumas.

In regard to Durband, Paul certainly sought his approval and praise. I’ll make a lot of references to this interview between Paul and Jonathan Power, his classmate, throughout this post.

There’s two moments in this interview I’d like to point out firstly.

PAUL: … I think I sent something to a couple of colleges saying more or less ‘Dear sir, Let me in.’

POWER: Come on, you weren’t that stupid! You were one of the brightest boys in our class. You like to make out you were the bad one, but you weren’t.

PAUL: I got my A, yes. Thanks to Alan Durband, our English literature teacher. He was a great teacher. I think he was the one who sat us together.

POWER: He was the one who singled you out, he made you head of our class…

Okay no. 1:

For context, Paul was discussing his plans at the end of sixth form, how he hadn’t realised you had to send letters to universities if you wanted to apply there. He says that he was very flippant about it, not taking the whole ordeal very seriously. Power’s response is what’s of interest to me though. He calls out Paul for not being entirely truthful, claiming that Paul was putting on a ‘misbehaving student’ persona when that wasn’t the case at all.

Paul is obviously not overly eager to present himself as a ‘teacher’s pet’, wanting to seem like a rebel, caring more about music (and a certain rebellious friend… *cough cough* John) than school. Power, however, points out that Paul wasn’t as rebellious as he tries to make himself seem, in fact, he was one of the brightest in his class.

If Paul realised one of the reasons he was a good student in Durband’s class was because he wanted to impress him, he might be inclined to play up this whole ‘rebellious musician student’ act to cover for himself. It’s not unheard of for Paul to exaggerate or even make stuff up to try and conceal his queerness.

No. 2:

First of all, I would like to point out that Paul got an A in his English Literature A level. As someone who has recently graduated sixth form and finished an A level in English Literature, I can tell you, getting an A is fucking HARD. I’m not sure how it was in the late 50s/early 60s, but English Literature has been consistently ranked in the top 10 hardest A levels in recent years, with only about 20-25% of students getting an A.

Don’t trust his nonchalant attitude folks, this kid was putting in the hours to get that A !!!

Secondly, Power reveals that Durband made Paul the head of their class. For a kid who craved attention and praise from authority figures, his favourite teacher ‘singling him out’ to be the head of class would’ve been a pretty big deal. It also further shows that Paul is lying through his teeth when he says he was a bad student- Durband wouldn’t have selected a student he didn’t like as head of class.

Both of these moments show Paul’s, let’s say eagerness, to do well in Durband’s class. While a lot of it most likely stemmed from Paul simply enjoying English as a subject (he’s stated many times it was his favourite subject at school), his want of praise from an older authority figure he admired might’ve influenced him too.

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The next three excerpts are all taken from this video, my all-time favourite interview-esque video of Paul (watch it if you haven’t, it’s great!)

Since I can’t include more than one video in a singular post (stupid tumblr), I’ve done the next best thing and transcribed the clips. I will include time stamps if you’d like to watch along (which I recommend doing).

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Excerpt one: TIMESTAMP: (20:24 - 20:53)

Context: Paul is talking about a homework assignment he didn’t complete properly, messing up a presentation in Durband’s class.

PAUL: … Still, he was alright you know he forgave me and that. He was a great fella actually uh, really, one of the best teachers I ever had this fella. And uh funny thing is he- he would tell you about a translation of something like Chauncer that was too hard to understand uh and you could read the English translation kind of thing y’know. And um I remember him telling me to do that and I bought- bought a book that gave me the translation.

Now this excerpt is a bit nit-picky I’ll admit, but I felt like it was worth pointing out the language Paul is using. He says that Durband ‘forgave’ him for messing up his presentation- that’s quite a personal choice of language, as if he felt like he has offended Durband by not doing his homework properly. Once again, for someone seeking praise from an authority figure, disappointing them can be hell.

Secondly, Paul mentions buying a book that Durband recommended him- more of that eagerness showing through.

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Excerpt two: TIMESTAMP: (19:00 - 19:32)

Little side note: take note of Paul’s body language right around when he says ‘He was the English teacher…’ Flicking his hair coyly… I see you Paul…

PAUL: This used to be Dusty Durband’s room, Mr. Alan Durband- we used to call him Dusty Durband, don’t know why… and he used to have his stage area over there. He was the English teacher and uh I was quite interested in English Literature ‘cause he got us interested very early on telling us about the dirty bits in English Literature and uh we were kind of sixteen-year-old boys so he got us interested and then we got interested in the other bits too, so, he was quite a clever bloke.

Here, Paul says that his interest in Literature came from Durband’s method of teaching. It would’ve been unheard of for a teacher to point out any sort of inappropriate material in their classroom, but Durband used it to engage his class.

If Paul has a ‘type’ in men, it’s definitely men who challenge societal norms. Looking at the most obvious example (John), we can see that Paul liked when men would ‘act out’ against rules and ‘traditions’. I suspect this is largely due to Jim, who constantly tried to restrict Paul (telling him what to wear, how to cut his hair, demanding he get a proper job and stop hanging out with John etc.) If you’ve been repressed your entire life, you’re going to be drawn to people and behaviours that allow you to ‘let go’.

As mentioned before, Durband was very political (he was even the communist party candidate in school elections in 1946). Now of course every teacher is different, but from the number of English Lit. teachers I’ve had studying it, they all share something in common- their political views bleed into their teaching. It’s simply unavoidable when you’re looking at historical contexts of literature, the authors intentions, audience perception etc. Given Paul’s own liberal leaning views, Durband’s teaching and politics would’ve definitely intrigued Paul.

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Excerpt three: TIMESTAMP: (21:06 - 21:36)

PAUL: And what used to impress us about him- one of the things that used to impress us about him was that uh he’d had a story read out on the BBC, morning story, something that he’s written. So he was like a bit of a star Dusty… I remember him asking me when I was sitting right there I remember him asking ‘and what are you gonna do McCartney when you leave school’ and I said uh ‘I’m gonna be in a group sir!’ He said ‘well uh pretty precarious business y’know’ said ‘Yes sir but we’re being offered fifteen pounds a week!’

Take a young Paul McCartney, maybe 17-18 at this point, raised working class in the north of England, expected by both his deceased mother and his abusive father to pick a ‘proper career’. He’s dreaming of making music for a living, hoping the group he’s in with his friends will succeed and he won’t have to get a ‘proper job’. Now, place a young, attractive and impressive English teacher in front of him who is not only giving him the approval he craves, but is also seemingly successful in the way Paul wants to be- I mean, the BBC read something HE wrote!! Durband would’ve been everything Paul aspired to be- If Paul had gone down the teaching route as he planned to do if music didn’t work, I have no doubt he would’ve wanted to be like Durband.

In addition, multiple people, including John, have spoken about Paul’s attraction to successful people. I think it was John that said that one of the reasons Paul was with Jane Asher was because he was attracted to her and her family’s success.

It’s not crazy to suggest that young Paul might’ve been a little bit starstruck by this charismatic, successful older man.

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Now let’s talk about Durband’s influences on Paul’s music:

If you’re still doubting the influence Durband had on Paul, here’s a clip of the man himself talking about the time Paul asked him for advice:

Alan Durband in an interview in 1965, speaking about his time teaching Paul Mccartney at the Liverpool Institute.

Of all people, Paul went to his English teacher to ask for advice on if he should go to Hamburg or not. I mean, that’s a pretty big fucking deal, we all know that Hamburg was pivotal for The Beatles’/Paul’s careers. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it mentioned anywhere else that Paul asked Durband for advice on what to do.

(Thankfully), Paul did not take Durband’s advice to not go to Hamburg, but you can clearly see how much Paul valued his opinion if he felt compelled to ask him for advice before doing anything.

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Going back to the Jonathan Power interview once more, Paul and Jonathan talk about how Durband indirectly inspired Eleanor Rigby:

POWER: I remember you telling me once that "Eleanor Rigby" was influenced by Alan Durband.

McCARTNEY: Yes, in a roundabout way. It was through the passion he instilled in us for the unlikeliest things, like Chaucer. For a 16, 17-year-old Liverpool boy, it is not easy to break through that barrier and get into Chaucer. And the passion he instilled in us definitely found its way into my songs. I think something like "Eleanor Rigby" owes a debt to Durband because I had seen structure, I had seen words put together in a nice order. He was taught by FR Leavis at Cambridge. I had never heard of Leavis, but I remember there was a Housman poem that we rather liked, but Durband insisted it was "sentimental old rubbish" and he said that came from the Leavis influence. So there is me getting this Leavis-Durband lineage. Durband gave me clues. For instance, he told me to read "The Miller's Tale," which was off-syllabus. He said, "They don't want you to look at this stuff, but you should have a look."

Paul has also mentioned a few times that the lyrics to ‘Let It Be’ might’ve inspired by his reading of Hamlet- (‘Oh I could tell you. But let it be Horatio’ 5:2). Paul read Hamlet in Durband’s class, as Durband would encourage his students to read Shakespeare plays out loud.

More generally, Paul clearly admired Durband a great deal, always crediting him as huge inspiration. In fact, Paul kept in touch with Durband even after he became successful, going to visit his family home once and getting tickets for them to Beatles shows. Paul kept in touch with him until he passed away in 1993.

Now, to summarise:

- ‘Dusty’ Alan Durband was clearly a huge influence in Paul’s life (as well as a very cool and progressive teacher, he honestly seems like a great guy from everything I’ve read and watched).

- Paul’s childhood traumas made him prone to seek approval from older authority figures, not only in his early life but throughout his career too.

- In addition to that, his what you might call ‘daddy issues’ could’ve made him develop crushes on older men (other examples include: older teddy boy John- Paul has very openly spoken about being ‘attracted’ to John because he was older than him- and Robert Fraser, who was 27 when Paul met him at 23). Now these age differences aren’t that huge, but clearly Paul has always had a thing for guys older than him.

- I think the combination of seeking attention from an older man to replace his father as well as Durband’s attitude and support could’ve easily developed into an innocent teacher crush on Paul’s part.

The majority of people can think back to their school days and remember that one attractive teacher they liked, whether you had some sort of unresolved childhood trauma or not. It’s not a crazy concept and Durband heavily aligns with Paul’s type.

In conclusion, Paul was heart-eyeing his A level English teacher (maybe, I don’t know, it certainly seems like it to me).

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If you’ve read this far, thank you!! This ‘theory’ has been on my mind for months and I appreciate anyone indulging me by reading along. Please drop thoughts in comments/reblogs, even if you don’t agree with me or have a different interpretation, I’d love to hear more thoughts on this!!

#alan durband #liverpool institute #mcharmley #i didn't think i'd have another post about dusty up so soon so thank you op #on the rpd side of things there's often one throwaway line in fics about his crush on a teacher #and it's never (or very rarely) john's gay uncle

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