#really do dislike talking about myself

[oceanwithouthermoon]

ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw

[lilacerull0]

i feel like reading/watching mbf immediately means knowing who i am as a person and... i cannot allow this

[stinkrascal]

people on reddit get sooooooo mad whenever you like a game without criticizing it, like sorry im easily impressed and having fun omg? hope ur having fun writing a 15 paragraph essay in the reddit comments about why im wrong for my act 3 opinions, im sure thats a lot more fun than just playing the game you paid money for

[butch-errant]

On another note off of that it really goes to show me how important me being able to not do a lot of those things in public anymore is if shit like that is viewed by neurotypicals as evil and wrong.

[asiancatboy]

this might sound mean but over the past few years i've been growing into the person who is so discontent talking to people who can't hold a conversation

[discordkittenterumi]

it is pretty difficult at times not to get incredibly upset about everything that happened and how unfair it all is. like. i did not deserve it. i don't think even they can argue otherwise, not really. and sometimes i'm just going about my day doing whatever the hell it is i do and suddenly i remember that three years of my life are just gone. i had to start over. i didn't lose everything but it sure feels like it. it's certainly the most i've ever lost at once.

the strange thing is i can't even really say i hate them for it, or that i want it not to have happened. at least not entirely, i guess. it would be great if my life didn't collapse around me, but what would have happened if it didn't? i really can't say. maybe it had to. there are some ways in which i'm a better person for it, even.

but it does just... keep on poking at me, and sometimes aches, and sometimes hurts like hell. i don't really think it will ever completely stop bleeding, at least not for a long time. especially when these things are happening like everyone i went to school with graduating, moving on to big Real Adult things. grad school, jobs, new cities. i should be doing the same, but i'm not. all i can do is take my setbacks and what's left for me and keep on building

[vogelmeister]

been feeling mixed on some of my friends recently

[stellacadente]

i realized how much it scares me that my mind will convince itself of even the ugliest things if i start thinking them often enough and it's... yeah. like i had a good session with my psychiatric rehabilitation therapist i think it was very useful but then at the end i got hit by this feeling of fear... like i'm so scared of myself and how low i can get

[flower-zombie-rob]

Welcome to day one of how many times can my mother tear me down and destroy my confidence in one go. How many days will this go on? Im not sure! Tune in next time for a brand new episode of Taking Advantage Of My Kids Rejection Sensitivity, youre watching the disney channel.

[size-two-shrimp]

Hey y'all, just so all of my fic readers are aware: I've kinda been losing motivation writing wise, I'm just not getting as much enjoyment (read: engagement) out of it and it's just not as worth it anymore to me. I'm still going to be writing, there's still things I want to work on, but probably not as frequently as I had been. Sorry about that

[victory-cookies]

I wish I could handle myself in an argument without fucking crying

[scentofpines]

my brother is visiting us again and i'm soooo fucking doneeee he is so annoying omg

[inkedlove]

so frustrating when you wanna be someone's friend and they just are not cooperating. I'M INTERESTED IN YOU AS A PERSON. PLEASE INTERACT WITH ME.

[advestager]

I feel like saying Josuke doesn't have any daddy issues whatsoever isn't entirely fair (I've seen some fic and comics go further into how he and his mom might have been treated due to the circumstances of his birth that were pretty compelling) but people who act like he grew up without any father figure are definitely off base imo. Every single adaptation and extra material have always had a focus on his close relationship with his grandpa for a reason!

see, that's precisely the thing. it is literally impossible to be a grown up human without having internalised some sort of illogical Feeling about oneself or the world – but fandom as a whole tends to just assign arbitrary ones to characters based on stereotypes rather than what they actually are like.

i do think josuke feels some sort of way about his lack of a father growing up, but that's as inevitable as joseph himself (or giorno, or jolyne, or even jonathan) having feelings about his own dad, and yet somehow jorge's absence does not get brought up despite joseph and josuke's fairly similar upbringings. the fact is that most of western fandom tends to view the JJBA characters through a (white, usa-centric) lens that simply does not lend itself to a fair or accurate reading when most of the cast is either POC or from an entirely different cultural background. that's why i'm so resistant to label josuke as having 'daddy issues'; the term means something entirely different to me than it seems to do to most of the fandom, based on all the fic, comics, and discussions i've seen (and had) about the topic. it's not exactly like the organised crime aspect of VA, but it fills me with a similar kind of frustration. i don't think one needs a degree in cultural studies or history or whatnot to enjoy a silly series about people punching each other with slutty soul-ghosts, but it's exhausting to see the same thoughtless, very specifically westernised takes being regurgitated over and over as Absolute Truth until the characters are so flanderised they seem nothing as much as a caricature of their original versions. i love transformative works as much as any other fan creator, but i also happen to like the source material. it is infinitely more interesting to me to think about what kind of relationship josuke might have to his heritage as a mixed-race person, or his identity as the son of a single mother or the obviously cherished and spoilt child of a family such as his own (especially in a place and period like canon's late-90s/early 00's japan), than to hear yet another iteration of 'haha, josuke has daddy issues' where the person saying it has no intention of analysing that premise beyond the puddle-depth obvious.

at barely sixteen years old, even as interested in high-end fashion (and as very much part of a working class family who could definitely use the nest egg) as he is, josuke's immediate reaction to being told his missing father is incredibly rich and wants to take care of him is to say that it's not necessary, and he's fine as he is. sixteen. i worked as a teacher with kids as young as a year old and people as old as mid-seventies; that kind of ease of mind is one-in-a-million and not something you'll find on someone who fits fandom's definition of 'daddy issues'. he's not angry at joseph, he's not grasping for money, he hardly even wants to find out more about the missing part of his origins. his only thought is to wish he wouldn't be the reason other people were hurt, and to protect his mother once there is a risk she might find out and be distressed about it. his entire morality system is (from what i remember of canon) mostly based around the question What Would Grandpa Do?, with some leeway allowed for the temper he clearly got from tomoko and for the fact that he is, again, a big and slightly spoilt sixteen year old.

so yeah. it might not sound fair to say he doesn't have daddy issues, but i don't think the terms fandom's operating under are fair to start with, so i'd rather recuse myself (and my interpretation of the character) from it all til we're playing the same game. the sandbox's wide and wild, and the block and mute buttons are there for a reason, so i'll just stay in my corner writing about higashikatas wielding their feelings like sledgehammers til my mum says it's time to go home.

[non-un-topo]

Should I see a therapist for my unexplained contempt for my Heterosexual Family Members and their wedding planning and their baby-craziness y/n?

[bare1ythere]

Having lots of thoughts about how sensitive I am to others' opinions on my hyperfixation