atghealthcarefoundation

[vogelmeister]

been feeling mixed on some of my friends recently

[zozophoenixxx]

Serotonin Booster :D 🐉

How to train your dragon edition

(Basically a friendly reminder series but it's now called Serotonin Booster bc I like it that way hehe)

Anywayssss here are some things I had forgotten or little details I just noticed on my rewatch, maybe even Unpopular Opinions 🤭👀

✨Riders of Berk✨

ok im starting this from ep6 bc I wasn't sure if I wanted to do this but yk what why not

JUST REALIZED that whenever Astrid says to Hiccup "what took you so long" when she was stranded at sea in RTTE she was referring back to this one scene in ROB on ep6 when she saved hiccup from Alvin's arrows [Hiccup said the same thing] 😳😳

By the way, it's not really "dragon conqueror". It's "dragon trainer" 🤩

STOICK RIDING TOOTHLESS JAHDHAHSHA

ALSO loved the way they named the typhoomerang🥺

DUDE JAHDHSJAJ stoick is such a kid lmao he really punched the thunderdrum like it was nothing lmaoo

Thunderdrum: *tries to bite Stoick's hand because he doesn't trust him yet*

Stoick: *punches the thunderdrum*

Hiccup: Hey,hey! Whoa, what happened to trust

Stoick: Talk to him! He's the one who tried to take off my hand!

OK BUT AWWW- the thunderdrum just saved stoick because stoick stood up for him and the purple one and then they did the hand thing 🥺🥺🥺

Stoick showing that he did listen to Hiccup and then Hiccup smiling🥴🥺

Hiccup looked so sad whenever he saw his portrait and realized that he was painted differently and the fact that stoick was like "it's you but bigger and stronger" and the other guy was like "that's the son of a chief" definitely did not make him feel better. The fact that sometimes he probably thinks that's he's not good enough and he has to live up to that kid in the portrait-

That's him after... Tell me this isn't the saddest thing-💔

I completely forgot that "it's Viking tradition to call the runt of the litter a Hiccup"

Fireworms! 😁

Fun fact: Gronckle farts are strong enough to make people pass out

Stoick's thunderdrum's name is thornado🥴

Scauldrons eat blue Oleanders, these flowers are poisonous to other dragons tho

Snotlout was the one that found Heather's wrecked boat

I love how Astrid's so intuitive, she knew right away that Heather was kinda sus. It really shows the difference between her and Hiccup who always tries to look for the best in people. Both are good qualities to a certain point if you think about it...

Chicken! :D

"Why would you do that?!" JHDHSHA I LOVE HIM

"Ow! Why is it always violence with you?" "It's not violence. It's communication." Astrid after hitting Fishlegs

That one scene where Astrid is going to Outcast island as Heather on her own and Hiccup is all overprotective i-😩🥺

I really wish they had named and kept that monstrous nightmare that saved Astrid

Thawfest: festival to test strength, endurance, and courage

- The fact that Astrid could've won the log roll and axe throwing events if it hadn't been for fishlegs 🤦🏻‍♀️

- I love how Astrid always knows better

- OMG KISSY KISSY KISS KISS 😚🥴🥰😍😘

Why do I feel like tuff and ruff would definitely be children of Ares

Mildew annoys me sm

I love Mulch and Bucket and also how Stoick was willing to go against his people to protect Toothless. I think it shows the great qualities of a leader who doesn't let everyone do whatever they want.

HICCUP HAS BEEN HIT WITH LIGHTNING!!

- *wakes up from being hit with a lightning bolt to check on his leg* "At least I didn't lose another one."

Whispering death - boulder class, razor sharp teeth, incredibly strong and hunts from underground

The way Snotlout makes fun of the fact that Toothless can't fly bc of Hiccup pisses me tf off

Little moments between Hiccup and Astrid are the ones that get me 🥺🥰 like him getting on Stormfly before Astrid and then helping her up or him touching her shoulder and leaving his hand on there for just a sec to indicate the way 🥺🥺🥺

No because the way they're all running away from the Whispering Death in ep14 and Toothless finally appears and Astrid is like "TOOTHLESS!" like I always asked myself why they didnt show Hiccup's immediate reaction to Toothless coming back and defending them. I just love that they showed how Toothless is also important to Astrid.

Toothless looks cute/funny holding a boulder

Barf and Belch go through the worst lmao

OK I COULD NEVER REMEMBER WHICH ONE WAS WHICH BUT NOW IK CAUSE I ACTUALLY PAYED ATTENTION THAT

Barf is Ruff's

Belch is Tuff's

Also why did I forget that Zippleback gas is kinda druggy

Dagur gives me Vector from Despicable me vibes

I really liked how Stoick was willing to go to war to save Barf And Belch in the Twinsanity ep, it really showed that he wouldn't only do it for Toothless (to protect Hiccup) but he'd do it for any dragon bc he's actually changed

Hiccup's acting was on point ✋🏼👏🏼🤩

Love how Hookfang won't take shii from Snotlout

LITERALLY JAHDHSHZHS Hiccup being hella done w Snotlout in ep16 is my new favorite thing.

THE HAND THING WILL ALWAYS BE ICONIC AND NO ONE WILL TELL ME OTHERWISE

Wow Toothless and Snotlout working together, never thought I'd see this duo

Breakneck Bog = Bermuda Triangle = The Sea of Monsters

Astrid hitting Tuff for pranking them is hilarious and Then RUFF ALSO HITTING TUFF TOO WHEN SHE WAS ALSO PART OF THE PRANK LMAO

Smothering Smoke Breaths - hide themselves in a veil of smoke, very territorial and they build their nests out of metallic objects to defend against attacks by bigger dragons

Changewings - able to change color of its skin to blend in with its surroundings.

I love how Astrid is just so direct lmao

THE TWINS I- JAJDHDHDJAN I LOVE THESE 2 DUMBASSES

The way the chabgewing just ruffled up tuffnut NAHSHDHHSHS

Baby Gustav 🥺🥺🥺🥺

WAIT BUT BUCKET'S SPITTING FACTS

"It's always the quiet ones that snap the loudest"

Granite is Meatlug's favorite 🥴

The way Astrid is so excited to show Hiccup her new achievement and the way she always knows when something is wrong... If this isn't true love i-🥺🥺🥺🥺

Hiccup was entrusted with Bork life's work

The Isle of night - an entire island filled with Night Furies!

Fishlegs lil giggle after he did the thunderdrum call😅🥴

Remember how I said that I thought Stoick would be the only person to get into a fist fight with a dragon? Well I was wrong... Snotlout just punched a Changewing and ig that's abt right

Hiccup just wanted Toothless to not be alone 🥺🥺🥺

ALVIN! UGH THIS DUDE-

The way we had to wait for 2 more shows and 2 movies to finally see another night fury

FINISHED IT OMG NOW ONTO DOB

[6okuto]

hiii so. I want to try writing for the last legacy #gang but. I’m afraid of messing up their characters hdjdfhbfb do you. have any advice on this🧍

OMGG....i am so honoured rn. that is so exciting ok,, ok ok ok i can give u. what i do and little notes i keep in my head

general

read other people's hcs if you're stuck !! even if it wasn't the same prompt it might help u get a better idea of the Energy Needed

also like,,, if they remind me of certain characters i'll even look at other hcs from different media. (haikyuu) rime works(ish?) when you look up tsukishima ,, sage works when i look up atsumu,, etc. in case there isn't enough/the right LL content for you

you can even like, look at memes,, if you just scroll the LL twt or ig. they might help too

i take screenshots of their dialogue so i can easily look back :]

looking at the dialogue choices might help bc they'll emphasize important parts of their character (and how they could diverge)

if Ur like Me and never remember what happened ever,, i fr just keep their wiki pages open. there isn't a lot of plot info on there (literally none for the m3) so i stare at the cgs/trivia/profiles and Hope For The Best.

if ur really stuck there's no harm in asking for someone else's opinion ! if u don't have anyone to ask u can ask Me :100: /srs

and tbh it's ok if u change ur mind about things,, i've said stuff and disagreed later because i saw someone else's hcs but that's just life sometimes. we accept (cringe) and move on

felix

more formal than usual. going > gonna , allow > let (sometimes) (my thing of him being 1/2 thesaurus searches away from casual)

he's easily flustered (he's whipped) but he Can tease,, just maybe after a few seconds of glitching

All of them would do whatever mc needs but i see felix as especially a comforter when they're upset (might panic at first)

route has a lot about growth and acceptance/forgiveness

for angst: isn't listened to, insecurities of his skills/interests, fear of being alone again

sage

tease,, obviously. innuendos, jokes, smirks, etc

ideas of protection/love have roots in him being dangerous + not being worth it (e.g. telling mc they should have stayed on earth)

distractor + eventual solver, one to threaten to fight

route has themes of allowing yourself to be vulnerable, choosing kindness in the face of rage/violence

for angst: not being able to protect mc, mc realizing that he was right in his fears before leaving, finally breaking down and being vulnerable

anisa

tbh. i'm still unsure of her characterization myself i speedran her route and need to go through it again But.

whenever i think i need to loosen up i remember rivath (running to touch things, eating soap </3, kissing in public, etc.)

>> her relationship with mc lets her do these things—they let her relax and be,, more chaotic,, than when she's on duty. girlboss

would be a comforter + listener i think

her route has a lot with learning to trust yourself and figuring out what you want/what you think is right

for angst: doing the wrong thing, not doing enough, fear and insecurities surrounding her father/what she did

rime

asshole /lh a lot of snarky/teasing replies and fighting

when you ask him to do something he's the guy who says no while doing it. he's going to help, just not (always) easily

redemption/lover arc rime is capable of being gentler/softer than he is now (e.g. him with felix in sage ch.13)

comforter/solver . a hot take? i don't know. i see him as listening and offering his opinion while reassuring, willing to hug/cuddle

no route. but ideas of choosing to be better, finding out who you are and where you fit

for angst: fear of being left behind, insecurities of his place with the M3 and MC, regret over his past and what he does to them, playing with the idea of him Not having a redemption

at the end of the day just trust urself !! even without actively recalling specific details, just playing the game and having a general Vibe gets u farther than u might think. I live/write off guesses and vibe checks alone. i am shocked to this day at people agreeing with and enjoying my posts 🤨

also. prioritize yourself and your own enjoyment . you are doing this for the 3 F's. fun, fantasies, Free. if you want to take a break then you Take A Break. i'm cheering u on i'm sure u will be great :muscle:

[fullmetalscullyy]

royai week day 4 - communiqué

summary: roy has an announcement to make to everyone

rated: g | words: 2084 | tags: royai, post-canon, romance, marriage, marriage announcement, marriage of convenience, kinda? bc they just have~ to do it but it works out for them, basically royai using royai to further their agenda

read on ao3 | read on ffnet

“Good afternoon,” Roy greeted with confidence into the microphone atop the podium in front of him. Hundreds of pairs of eyes stared back expectantly, and while that should have been unnerving, his excitement at the upcoming announcement kept the feeling at bay. This communiqué had been a long time coming, crafted from years of subtle diversion, and playing a tactical game. Now, it was coming to fruition. It was all still part of their game, but Roy had a personal stake in this part of it too. It was still a win for both parties involved.

A huge personal win.

Up there, on the podium, he was completely exposed. While that was dangerous for someone like him with such high political standing, Roy trusted the eyes that were watching his back implicitly. He does not turn complacent, but is more than confident in their abilities. He trusts each and every one of his subordinates to ensure the day goes well and without incident.

“Today’s announcement,” Roy continued, “will hopefully put to rest any fears you may have had regarding me assuming the role of your leader. Fuhrer Grumman has led this country exceptionally well over the last five years but feels ready to step down. As you all know, I have been named his successor and will make a promise to you all now, this country’s citizens, that I will do my utmost to ensure I do my best by you.”

There was a pleased applause after he finished, accompanied by a quiet murmur.

He meant every word, but that was not the reason Roy had taken the stage that day.

“I would also like you to know that I’ve heard the rumours surrounding me,” he smirked, letting his gaze sweep across the crowd before him. Out the corner of his eye, he noticed how this had piqued the interest of those in the audience with the various media outlets. Their ears perked up at the mention of rumours, understandably. “I am aware of the public’s opinion on a bachelor like myself being given the title of Fuhrer. However, I have come here today to offer my reassurances.”

Some people in the crowd turn to one another, momentarily confused by what he’s saying. Roy smirked to himself, thinking of his own private joke before he opened his mouth to finally reveal to the world something he has wanted to for over two decades.

“As you can imagine, this will be a busy transition period for us, so I hope you will extend your respect, as well as privacy, to both myself and my new fiancé as we navigate this new chapter in our lives. I can assure you though, an official date for my upcoming wedding will be announced soon.”

It was like the crowd had frozen. A few jaws went slack, and mouths parted in shock as they processed the news faster than others.

“More news will come in due time. Thank you.”

With a simple bow of his head, Roy stepped back from the microphone and turned to look at the stunned officials up there with him. Breda and Havoc approached, nonplussed by the news, and started to escort him off the stage.

There was a split second where the world was completely still, as everyone was still processing what he’d just announced. Then, everything felt like it exploded. The crowd erupted into applause and cheers. Cameras flashed in desperation to capture the moment that Roy Mustang, the most eligible bachelor in Amestris and a well-known womaniser in his younger years, announced he was engaged, and his wedding would be announced soon.

Roy can hear some of the questions being yelled by the reporters.

“Who are you due to marry?”

“What’s her name?”

“General Mustang! When did this happen?”

He ignored them all, for all would be revealed in due time. It was enough for now that it had been announced. Roy never planned on revealing anything else other than that today anyway. He would have loved to. He can’t wait for the day he can finally give the order to give the announcement, but he must hold off. The mystery will drum up interest in their favour. It will draw eyes to them and get people talking. No other Fuhrer had caused quite as much a stir as he had, and Roy wasn’t even officially in office yet. He was popular and well liked among the masses. Not as much as the Fullmetal Alchemist, the alchemist of the people, but Roy’s work over the years had built up a perfectly crafted reputation for him. It played well into his plans.

A womaniser who announces he’s settling down with someone who is a complete mystery. It was interesting news. Especially for the imminent ruler of the country.

The public ate it up, desperate to know. Out the corner of his eye he could already see heads bowed together in excitement as they gossiped about the news while Roy walked off the stage.

He was led by his security team into a private room within the building behind them. Havoc gave him a quick nod in response to his order, reaching for the door handle and pulling it closed behind him. Breda was down the hall, already speaking into microphone after microphone in order to soothe public relations about the surprise announcement. Poor guy, but he did volunteer. Having Breda assure them, but give nothing away, would only cause more intrigue. If Roy went out there and spoke to them all, they’d never let him leave.

His shoulder slumped now he was away from prying eyes. Not with fatigue, but just to relax. The initial phase had finally started, and his plans were set in motion. While he did have a personal stake in this and was more than happy to go along with it, it could certainly be draining. But then again, nothing had ever been simple between them.

The door opened as he was pouring himself a glass of water. He reached for a second glass and smirked, not turning around because he knew who it was who’d entered. His order to Havoc was to permit only one person entrance to the room.

“Did you really have to do it so dramatically?”

There was a grin on his face as he turned on the spot, coming face to face with his fiancé. Well, according to the country, she was still his fiancé. Nobody, except from them and his team, was aware that they were already married, and had been so for a while. While touring Aerugo last month they’d taken a clandestine trip to one of the islands off the coast to the south. It was just the two of them, the team, and his mother in attendance. Gracia had made the trip, and so had Edward and Alphonse, along with their respective families. Everyone who mattered most to Roy was there to witness them come together as a couple.

Marriage was not the be all and end all for him and Riza. They already knew where they stood with each other and what their relationship was. They had done so for years, and the ring that nestled comfortably on the end of his dog tags proved that. The legal document was just a formality at this point and given his current position as leader of the country, it would be necessary. So, they’d compromised. A private, personal ceremony for them to do things their way, exchanging the rings they’d already given each other years ago. The grand wedding that was yet to come was for the masses, not for them. Once the official ceremony happened, he would move the ring onto his ring finger where it had always belonged and where he’d always wanted to wear it.

Riza’s lifted one eyebrow expectantly, awaiting his answer.

“They expect a show,” he shrugged, “so I’m going to give it to them.”

“So, our official wedding is just a show,” she deadpanned.

His expression softened at her light teasing. “Our official wedding has already happened,” he reminded her. “In case you had forgotten, we are already legally married.”

“I hadn’t,” she placated as she approached him, “but you need to stop talking about it so openly. You were the one who suggested keeping it a secret, and the walls have ears,” she replied cryptically. Once close enough, she brushed a piece of invisible lint off his immaculate uniform and his shoulder tingled where she’d ran her hand over it.

“Let them listen,” he shrugged again. Roy lifted a hand to rest upon her hip as he grasped one of hers, lifting them both to rest between their bodies. He bent his head forward and kissed the backs of her knuckles, a small, fond smile playing on his lips. “It doesn’t matter now that our news is out.”

“Part of the news is out,” she reminded him. “You were quite adamant about only revealing some of the truth so early on,” Riza smirked. “It will be a busy transition period for us, after all,” she quoted back to him with mock sympathy.

His eyes rolled fondly.

“So,” she continued, extracting her hand from his and taking a step backward to put some distance between them. Roy felt like a petulant child, pouting at her actions. “We must keep up pretences and give ourselves the time and space we need to adapt to our new circumstances and navigate through it.”

“You’re no fun,” he complained, his tone nearly a playful whine.

“I know, dear,” she replied, sounding like she didn’t particularly care he felt that way. Roy was only joking though, of course.

“How did it look from up there?”

Riza’s perch had been on the roof of the building behind him, on the lookout for anyone who may wish harm upon him, along with her own elite security team.

She snorted lightly. “I will admit, it was entertaining to see the looks on their faces.”

“They were very surprised,” he chuckled, pleased with himself.

“It’s never a dull moment with you.”

“I would hope not because you’re stuck with me now, fiancé,” he grinned.

“Unfortunately,” she deadpanned quietly. When he scowled at her, she laughed loudly, her smile reaching her eyes.

For a moment, Roy is enraptured by her beauty. Her grin lit up his whole world and the sound of her laughter pulled at the stings of his heart pleasantly.

He is married to this woman, he thought to himself, and still couldn’t quite believe it.

After so long… After so many years of ignoring feelings and holding back – or trying to – now he didn’t have to.

Although it was his plan to delay the information given, he really wished it wasn’t. He wanted to go back out there and tell everyone how much he loved and cherished this woman before him.

All in due time. And the pay off when that day finally comes will be so worth it.

They’ve both waited for so long. Roy could stick it out for a few more days. What was more important was holding this woman close and loving her so freely like he has always wanted, and Roy planned to do just that.

Riza smirked and didn’t shrug him off as Roy wrapped his arms tightly around her frame. He pulled her close and kissed her, trying to convey just how much he loved her with one kiss alone. She hummed against his lips pleasantly as her arms lifted to loop around his neck. One hand slowly, tantalisingly, trailed up the back of his neck, making him shudder. She noticed and grinned against him. When her nails scratched lightly against his scalp and Roy groaned, Riza’s smile widened. She knew exactly what she was doing to him. She could play him like a fiddle, but Roy didn’t mind at all. There’s no way he was going to stop her ministrations when they felt so good.

“I love you,” he breathed. His chest heaved with his breath and the words almost got stuck in his throat, both from the emotions overwhelming him and their passionate kiss.

“Love you too, Roy.” When she pulled away to look at him, Roy didn’t let her move far. Their noses were almost touching but he could see her expression soften. She looked so happy and content. So in love. Which was exactly how he felt too.

They both couldn’t wait to start this new chapter in their lives together.

[certifiedceraunophile]

Hi! A fan of your writing here. I just love the way you write Caroline. An Avoidable Heart is my comfort fic and I am constantly in awe with the way you write and craft the dynamics in that story. Caroline's inner monologue is just priceless and God! I just love that intro scene where Caroline is walking into the Mikaelson compound with vampires and hybrids in the surrounding ready to pounce on her.

I would love to hear how you would have visualized Caroline crossing over into TO or not? Like in what season and why? How it would have likely gone?

Thank you!

First of all lovely anon gimme a moment to breathe, asdfghjkl why are people so lovely 😭😭🥺✨ It means sooo much to me that you’d take the time to jump into my inbox and send these kind words, like please I’m not worthyyyyy, But you make me smile and feel really freaking warm so *handcuffs your hand to mine* you aint leaving 💖✨💞🙃

But OK ALSO oh my god dude THAT CAROLINE WALTZS INTO THE COMPOUND AND TAKES ON A COUPLE HUNDRED VAMPIRES BY HERSELF SCENE???? Ughhhhh I’m sorry but I have SUCH a boner for Caroline in that, like my badass -I admit kinda op- QUEEN IS HERE and she’s fucking shit up, I’m sorry but I love that scene so much it’s so dear to me I was killing myself over how self-indulgent and grossly Over powered Caroline is but like idgaf man it’s such a hot scene and Caroline is practically invincible and we just love to see that, so seriously lovely anon, you telling me you LOVE that scene??? Puts the biggest smile on my face and reassures me a LOT bc I was whining and cribbing over how absolutely unbalanced that scene is to literally everyone BUT LIKE YOU JUMPING OUT OF NOWHERE and pointing that exact scene UGHH…...meant to fucking be the both of us 💖💞✨

And ALSO Caroline’s monologue is quite honestly the easiest inner monologue out of the three voices I wrote for that work, Klaus’s is the real pain in the ass tbvh like it is NOT easy writing pretentious besotted losers with a Kardashian complex especially when you need to make them sound cool when they’re the lamest OP dude bros to ever exist - and no I don’t hate Klaus although I seem to try my darndest to convince ppl I do- I just personally believe that a feral fucker like that with a thousand years of existence under his belt can grow a pair and graduate from his kindergarten level of emotional maturity to adult sometime soon, But then on the flipside he’s so grossly adorkably smitten and feral for Caroline plus hella horny for her all the time that its usually easy to write the trashed and devoted idiot he is into something pretentious and powerful and potent when relating to his unflappable arrogance and his narcissism, but sometimes I also need him to be *deep* and ffs profound for the sake of the plot and jfc my muse just wont work with me on that, she’s like I’m sorry I’m not about to bust my ass to make this mongrel intelligible like no sir all I wanna do is make him uncomfortably horny for Caroline and leave him like that.

So smh yeah the struggle is real….but lmao Caroline is just so precious and fiercely protective and just so achingly lonely in that story, so desperate for connection and trust and intimacy yet so guarded and impervious to everyone like it hurts me to write her like that but it really challenges me as an author to balance out her inherent light with the “void” I create in her and through her, so yeah it’s a very fulfilling task and I wouldnt change it one bit, and also I had to balance out her physical op-ness w half a millennium of the ugliest emotional trauma lol so I guess that figures, but the point being….once again I am overjoyed knowing that you liked a facet of the story that I tried so hard to make as authentically Caroline and achingly real and moving as I can and I cannot possibly feel more accomplished than rn for it so ty ty ty ty for reaching out to me and telling me *tackle hugs* It makes me GIDDY knowing that you enjoyed that particular part of the story like ugh stab me please you're too sweet.

And ok NOW, coming to The Originals part of the ask, (also please note that when I say TO headcanon; Hope does not exist, Hayley is a dead in a ditch and ofc Klaus will stop being that lil bitch they tried to pawn off as Klaus in TO) 

HEADCANON 1

Honestly my biggest headcanon when it comes to TO crossovers somehow always include non-humanity!Caroline like it’s just so perfect to me?? The opportunity to make shit BLOW UP b/w them like imagine the DEBAUCHERY, the heat, the SEXUAL TENSION, the repression of one Klaus Mikaelson, the EXPLORATIONS, and omg the role reversal when Klaus has to be the voice of moral reason between them and not bc he believes Caroline would not be able to stand herself if she does something heinous and monstrous but bc he wants her to be completely and utterly herself, and yk *aware*, when she DECIMATES ppl to the ground and is in full-on predator mode, like he wants her monster to come out and play with him when no part of Caroline is locked away or suppressed, so obviously when she is w/o her humanity KLAUS exercises restraint on her behalf, like can you imagine that, Klaus restraining himself and being the vague, extremely broken and just largely inaccurate moral compass between the two of them for ALL the wrong reasons- and the entirety of NOLA just standing there watching him herd this baby vampire who seems to be intent on riling him up and angering him when all she is doing is giving him a massive hybrid hard on, like IMAGINE THE GOODNESS of non-humanity Caroline wrecking NOLA and Klaus letting her wreck it bc he is helpless in the face of Caroline Forbes and also bc he is quite honestly *enjoying* the debauchery himself so why put a damper on the festivities.

-I might wanna add that I favour this headcanon a lot bc I genuinely do not even remotely *like* the idea of NOLA as Klaus's chosen place to set his roots so like I would love Caroline going to NOLA and destroying everything there just bc I detest NOLA and the storyline behind it in TO. (yes is it petty? Obvi, but like I am a petty soul and I make no apologies ma’am)

HEADCANON 2

So yeah that’s my main TO headcanon, but my other one being, one I talk about very frequently, scream about in tag rants to an obsessive level, and like this is a cracky one but still very valid, where Caroline rolls up to NOLA humanity intact and all, finds Hayley preggo and is just laughing her fucking ass off bc anybody ANYBODY, with half a brain and a two minute convo w klaus would know how UTTERLY stupid the entire baby shit is especially when it’s with an immemorable one night stand, and Caroline’s just losing her shit about how like an entire city is obssessed w this baby and she just straight up tells Klaus he’d SUCK as a dad (which he really does tho like he was a shitty fucking dad canonically too) and Klaus is just like *sigh* girl tell me about it. I mean basically he’s finally relieved that someone is on his side about the whole baby thing and how he definitely does not want his entire millennium of life to finally sum up to this one squalling leaking stinky infant/unicorn Hayley is apparently baking in her oven, and I say this headcanon is cracky bc klaus would never have put up w this mess long enough for Caroline to come in and sort it out, there’s this preferred method of disposal of his called heart ripping that would've been employed quite early on and honestly saved us all a lot of brain cells and minused years of life, bc let’s be real any Klaus who’s NOT a lil snivelling bitch wearing a Klaus skinsuit would’ve yeeted the baby and the mama first chance he got, and that’s just how I see it.

Lmao I really hope I didnt scare you away w my *strong* opinions Ik they can be a bit much but I enjoy having them so theyre not going anywhere, anyways this ask answer got WAYYYY too long but I’m hoping I answered your question well with this or atleast left you slightly confused and bemused over my feral screaming....either ways I’m really really really happy to have got your ask and the chance to rant so much bs, Twas cathartic and honestly I had nothing to do today so I was more than happy to dish this baby out for you. Thank you so much sweet anon for putting a smile on my face today I am absolutely HONOURED by your words you’sa cutie 💖💞✨🗣🗣

[artificialqueens]

A Series Of Mutual Feelings, 1/3 (Scarjah) - Pazinae

chapter 1: i hate u (and the feelings mutual)

Chapter Summary: Ra'jah is determined to have a fresh start and be a better person, now enrolled as a first year fashion school student- but Scarlet has a way of always making her newfound plans falter. With a rocky high school history, the (not so) fortuitous pair endure some mutual hatred

A/N: enemies 2 luvers scarjah everyone xoxo meant to be a oneshot, but got a little carried away n my doc for this is currently 19 pages long ahaha so to be more palatable it will be a 4 chapter story (its says 3, but you'll see). this one is mainly the intro for the story to understand where they're at emotionally in the present, and is mostly ra'jah centric on her growth + kylie friendship fluff bc theyre the cutest, and a bit of scarlet pov. feedback super super welcome, enjoy !!! 

***

Scarlet strode down the hall with a sway in her hips, her heels clacking on the laminate floor. What kind of tacky ass bitch wears heels to school anyways? Ra'jah scoffed internally, watched the girl saunter like she's on a tightrope, each tantalizing step brought her foot exactly in front of the other. Her body fell into a rhythm, stomping the fucking campus like a lion stalking the jungle for the sheer fun of watching it’s prey scamper. Scarlet's bouncing skirt, her signature grin and luscious ginger curls sprouting out her scalp made her gag. And not in the stunning way. Just as quickly as she came she was gone, and, to be fair, she was just another girl sandwiched in the masses just getting to where she’s going. But she could pluck that arrogant little redhead bitch out of any crowd. Not a conscious choice of course, hell, being reminded of her sheer presence causes a battle of trying not to roll her eyes behind her skull. She can't help that she sees her. Not when Scarlet's lips are painted the same shade of bold crimson as the tight, sleeveless top she's wearing, like a fresh drop of blood in a sea of grey clad bodies swimming around in their hoodies.

This isn't high school anymore Ra'jah. A repetitive reminder that needs to be said evermore until it's understood at her core. Because It's different now, she knows that- it has to be. No fucking way are her dreams going to get caught up in everything again, they're too big to be put at stake. She can't live just to be like that again, and this time she's too grown to waste her time on useless people. High school was a bubble, a 4 year trance that she's left and is more than ready to forget about. 

"Hey, Ra'jah!" That southern, velvety voice could only belong to one stunning woman. She turned around to spot her speed walking to catch up. 

"Aye! Kylie!" Ra'jah stopped and gave a little wave as Kylie approached, her highlight shining even in the shitty indoor light. The two moved over to the side of the hall, and leaned against the wall. "If it isn't Miss Kylie Sonique Love," With such a pleasing name, Ra'jah doesn't think she will, or, really can ever get tired of saying the other girl's name. "What's up?"

"Nothin', just tired as fuck," It's kinda cute, the way her accent gets stronger when she's grumpy. "I'mma pass out at some point, I did not get enough sleep." Even as a grumble her voice is so soft and angelic, Ra'jah could probably fall asleep to the blonde reading true crime murder stories. 

"Goddamn, it sure as hell doesn't show!" Which is true, Kylie was as effervescent as always, any visible messy hair from under her beanie looked intentional. Even in her oversized t-shirt and shorts, there was an undeniable, captivating charm about her that made it impossible for her to look bad "You look gorgeous girl" 

"Awh, thanks honey," She smiles a soft, hazy smile. "You don't look too bad yourself." She hums, eyeing her up with a grin. Before she could even argue a response, the country girl quickly perks up and slaps her hand on Ra'jah's shoulder in excitement. "Oh also! I want your opinion- I'm thinking about dying my hair pink." She can see the visible sparkle in the pair of eyes looking at hers. "Thoughts?" She asks, voice becoming giddy "Oooh bitch! You better, that'd be so fierce!" The (mostly) purple haired girl exclaimed, delight evident in her voice "For real, you'd look so good. And you know, ba-BY" she claps her hands together just for added emphasis, "I support ALL the impulsive hair decisions".

"Yess, obviously I want input only from bad bitches with the best hair"

"I told you I did these myself right?" she asked, running her shoulder length hair through her twirling fingers. "I've been really into doing hair recently"

"Wait, really? It looks so pretty, the fade to purple is so good"

"What'd you mean 'wait really' hoe, what you implying 'bout my hair skills?" 

"Just that a talented woman like you should share your expertise!" Even when she was loud her voice was just as comforting, the tone reminiscent of a silk blanket on her skin

"All it took for me was bleach, a bottle of violet Arctic Fox dye, and the holy spirit of Brad Mondo"

"First of all I'm not trusting no mans named Brad," Ra'jah cackled a little because, yeah that's fair. "And secondly, if you're free, come an' help a girl out then!

"You're inviting me over? Wow we're moving kinda fast Kylie" 

"Oh shut up bitch" but the undying twinkle in her eye confirmed the unsaid agreement that Ra'jah would be doing Kylie's hair, at some point.

"I'm free on Thursday, can I visit then?"

"Yea that works" She smiled, and the closeness between the two wasn't something the taller girl ever planned, or really felt before. But she had it now, a friend she really cares about, and she never wanted to lose it.

"Shit what time is it?" Even in her Shitty Human era she was still a timely gal, her mother didn't raise no late hoe. "Don't stress it Raj, we have like 15 minutes. Introduction to drafting and sewing, right?"

"Yes ma'am. Wanna start going?" "Sure thing" This year is for a new start, making new friends, and getting a chance to create new first impressions. Rebrand herself y'know, and the hindrance that is Scarlet's existence, wrapped in all the ancient things she'd rather not think about, won't stop her.

The walk to class was a pleasant blur. With Kylie yawning and walking essentially shoulder to shoulder with Ra'jah had they been the same height, they slipped into both  comfortable conversation, and silence. With all the noise around them, their presence brought an ease without any awkwardness. 

 A trek opted through the outdoor route that was albeit a tad longer, provided some well needed greenery and fresh air.

"You excited for class?" Ra'jah asked, only half aware of where she was walking to. Her body was on autopilot, and Kylie knows the way, probably.  

"You're amazing if you can get excited by class"

"It's fun!"

"Only 'cause you're good at it"

"You're good at it"

"You know what I mean. Isn't this one your favorite?" 

"It's not my favorite" 

"Uh huh"

"I just like it a lot. Maybee essentially jus' cause I don't hafta try" It was a mandatory course, but Ra'jah's not complaining. Perhaps it's a little vain to enjoy something just to remind everyone you can do it, but it was an easy break from the rest of the courses. And a nice little egoboost.

"So I'm right!" 

"C'mon it's October and we're still on basic techniques"

"It's called introductory," She remarked. "Do you even pay attention half the time?"

"No but bitch neither do you"

"True" Kylie grinned in agreement.

"The way you're coming for me but it's easy for you too!" She hasn't been sewing as long as Ra'jah, but she has great taste so it really balanced out. "And let it be known that I use that class time to think about incredibly productive things"

"Oh that's her name?"

"What?" She didn't mean for her tone to drop. Didn't mean for her legs to stop walking, planting themselves into the cement. Didn't mean for the smile on her face to plummet at the implication. Her visceral reaction was louder than the cluelessness she gave off.  

"Calm down" She giggled, as if Ra'jah's reaction woke her up from her grogginess, her breathlessness equivalent to a shot of espresso for Kylie. "You just seem really occupied sometimes is what I meant"

"Me? No I'm not" She couldn't convince herself.

"Okay babe. The models of your fashion sketches just look a little reminiscent"  

"You know Scarlet isn't the only person with ginger hair right?" Ra'jah bites back, the condescending tone not her intention, but not exactly unwanted in the moment. Scarlet is insufferable, she doesn't want her own name slandered is all, being associated with the arrogant shit.

"Baby, I ain't mention Scarlet. That's all you.'' She had a shit eating smirk and maybe Ra'jah takes everything back about how nice friends are. IF there was inspiration, Scarlet is objectively nice looking so it's not a big deal there might be similarities if you squint.  

"She was implied" 

"If you want her to be"

They get inside and take a seat at one of the large tables, divided into stations with a sewing machine and some material at each one. Ra'jah takes a spot at the edge, with Kylie seated to her right. 

 On paper, it's all been planned out for Ra'jah; during her strolls between classes she'll take in all her surroundings and actively look for inspiration, pondering all the natural shapes and patterns of the world in a way she can manipulate into clothing. On paper, she'll make the most out of the introductory class, sketching designs between the minimal notes and sewing practices. On paper, she'll finish the mornings class with ease and have extra time to practice some new things. 

In reality? Paper is flimsy, especially when its accountability is held by a fleeting mind. It's hard to bask in the world when unwanted questions plague her head. Mostly revolving around a certain redhead. God, fuck her. Fuck her pretty eyes and fuck her sculpted face and fuck her euphonious voice. Does everyone who sees Ra'jah see her patheticness? How she allowed some cunt to infiltrate her mind, set up home in her head and take up all the space? Let her infect every cell in the brain like a parasite until her skull is nothing but an infiltrated shell for an infestation caught up with infatuation?

"Ra'jah, you good?"  The girl sat across from her, Trinity, piped up, and Ra'jah had to bite back a smile. The icy, timid girl she met just a few weeks ago was starting the conversation.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

"You just looked a little spaced out" 

"Nah, it's just that this class is a breeze an' I'm just thinking about a project for another class" 

"Mmm"

"Plus it's hard to just think of designs when there's no inspiration"

"I mean, we're supposed to practice gathering and making ruffles right now"

"Oh shit! We are?"

"Yeah girl!" Ra'jah, shaking her head at herself, finally picked up some of the fabric around her and got to work. "You'll be alright?"

"Oh don't worry about me! I'm all good"

"Okayyy if you need anything just yell" Ra'jah replied with a hum and a nod. Watching the girl running the fabric under the machine, memories of the first time they'd talked flashed, days of the nearly silent girl feeling so distant.

  "I really like your earrings" The girl raised her head, looking left and right a little as if making sure it was directed at her. 

"Thanks." She mumbled, vaguely looking at Ra'jah's direction. 

"If you don't mind, where'd you get them?"

"Uh, I thrifted it."

"Oh, cool" Ra'jah smiled, before quickly adding "Thanks". The raven haired girl didn't reply. The start of the intriguing game of 'does she hate me, is she shy, or both?' 

   After all the awkward attempts made for the quiet girl to be comfortable and maybe make a friend, a sense of pride rang through her. She met Kylie and Trinity here a mere month ago, and yeah, maybe she could be nice. She could walk the fineline of warm socialization without being annoying. The new Ra'jah doesn't do unnecessary mean quips just for the sake of a little power rush. She can be authentically her while being polite. New Ra'jah makes friends- not enemies. 

"Oh by the way" Ra'jah snapped her head up at Trinity's voice 

"Yeah, what's up?"

"I know it's a little random but do you know what you're gonna be for Halloween?"

"Huh. Well, I haven't really thought about it" Ra'jah remarked, "I just don't care for Halloween and all that"

"Really? Girl, you're not gonna do anything, dress up, go out, nothing?"

"Baby all that work and money for some costume I'll wear once? No ma'am- and the fuck will I do, I barely have ideas for school!"

"Hey, you could wear anything and it's a costume. Wear a black dress, you're a cat"

"You think I'm that basic?"

"Yeah?"

 "Fuck you" She snorted, and Trinity had a goofy smile, looking at Ra'jah with a sense of familiar fondness. "And thanks, really, but I don't care for all that spooky shit anyways"

"Damn, alright!" Teeth out and all, she laughed. The blonde on the right leaned in a little, a pleasant opposition of Trinity's hesitation is Kylie's eagerness

"Jesus Ra'jah, what did Halloween do to you?" The southern girl butts in. "You could dress as the grinch of Halloween, steal children's candy" 

"You know what, yeah, I'll be a sluttified grinch"

"You're kinda built the same already" Trinity joins with a grin

"Hey!"

"Sluttified? Are you implying the grinch isn't sexy enough?" Ra'jah choked a little at that, found herself smiling with some dopey content, at what exactly she's not sure. 

"Do ya'll think being the grinch would count as like, being a furry?" Trinity asked, voice dripping in an odd amount of seriousness. 

"What? Baby no" Kylie jumped in. "Yes! absolutely, how would it NOT?" Trinity argues, and maybe it's the easiness of everything.  Of how nice it is to just fall into banter when you let people in. Bouncing off the two girls, she doesn't need to think of how to be funny, how to one up herself, remind everyone of why she's worthy. She can just, be. And that warrants a smile. 

With Ra'jah's elbow propped on the table, she rested her cheek against her palm to face forward, before turning a little to face Trinity

"But why do ya ask Trin? About Halloween"

"Oh, kinda last minute but I just want some ideas to figure mine out" She shrugs, and Kylie leans over once more. It's a little heartwarming, how physically close she always instinctively wants to be. 

"Oh! Are you going to the Halloween party this weekend?"

"Nah parties aren't really my thing"

"Awh, but it'll be fun!"

"Yeah standing in a mass of people I won't talk to will be so fun"

"Fine- Ra'jah, are you goin'?" Rajah turns her head to follow the voices like a cat keeping up with a beam of light. 

"Uh..."

"RIGHT, forgot, Halloween's not your thing". A party where she can have a disguise, let loose and have fun. It feels almost embarrassing to admit to her newfound friends that she's never been to a party, and the thought of a Halloween party didn't even cross her mind. Maybe Halloween isn't not her thing, it's just not something she'd indulge in. For reasons. Like, schoolwork. 

"Welllllll…" Ra'jah hummed, dragging on with a small grin

"OH the prospect of partying changes things huh?" 

"You know, me an' Halloween, we complicated okay!" They laugh, but Ra'jah's left thinking. New or old Ra'jah both, spends a little too much time in the internal realm of the brain. 

The class falls silent except the murmurs of the buzzing machines, and the three chatter in whispers. Although usually it's mostly her and Kylie with occasional injections of confirmation from Trinity

"You're insane if you think spaghettini is better than fettuccine" Kylie protested "Spaghettini is literally the objective worst"

"Says who?!" Ra'jah paused sewing to look up at Kylie in defiance

"Me!"

"Trinity which is better" 

"Huh? Ya'll It's too early for this." Trinity complained.

"Oh, says the bitch who asked if the grinch was a furry" Ra'jah retorted, but Trinity brushed her off to look at Kylie "Oh wait! Also, Kylie, what're you gonna be for Halloween?" She gave a little snicker before answering 

"Don't come for me but honestly? Was thinking about being a cat" 

"AAAAAH!" Ra'jah and Trinity erupted laughing.

"But like, a hot one okay!" Ra'jah quickly tried to redeem herself.

"You'll be the hottest ass cat around" Plus, worse comes to worst, Ra'jah will be a witch or something, and they can be hot and basic together. 

When the class ended, they packed their things, and exchanged their goodbyes

"I'll see y'all around!"

"See you! Good luck on your textile project Trin" 

"Thanks!" She waved, yelling a final "Bye!" 

"Bye!" The three part, and Ra'jah makes her way to her second class. History of costume and design was next, and quickly weighing it out, she decided to take a quicker path through the halls. Suddenly, the weight of a body knocked at her side, the two stumbling around for a few seconds. A gust of papers had fallen from both parties' arms, and landed on the floor.

"Oh shit! I'm so-" Scarlet cuts herself off when she looks up at whom she's bumped into.

"Maybe watch where you're going" Ra'jah snorts out of sheer instinct, squatting down to gather her papers where Scarlet follows suit, just a little too close. The vague, sweet scent of strawberries she gives off is suffocating.

"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" The attention sends a masochistic jolt down her spine

"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" As much as she screamed internally to just shut the fuck up and get your things, it was so easy to slip back to this.

"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try"

"Baby, me? Fail out?" Please don't imply that. Please don't make me doubt that I can and deserve to be here. I don't want to seek approval from others, but I can't help but be hurt at disapproval. Of course, her thoughts don't verbalize as the words that come out of her mouth. "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying" Before she can think it through, process the flash of hurt on her face and the way her fingers tense around the last piece of paper, before Ra'jah can really understand the weight of her own words she continues. "But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?"

Their exchanges were in aggressive whispers, hushed to anyone above them. To most people, they'd find a sight of two girls muttering to one another while they pick up some things they've dropped.

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" Scarlet huffed, standing up in one swift motion. Those words aren't a compliment. Like, at all. So why does Ra'jah's dumb, twisted heart stop for a second? The implied connection of herself and 'pretty' slows her body and slurs her mind until she's pushing herself up off the ground in slow motion. It's been so many months of mundanity, the small interaction felt all so familiar and foreign and exciting at the same time.But the haziness of her words and their little games makes her forget for a second of what the fuck just happened, and a wave of patheticness washed over her as she started to walk, eyes focused at the cream walls. For all her hemming and hawing, Ra'jah hasn't. Fucking. Changed. 

A rush of everything dives into her guts, a sick adrenaline coated in dread, self loathing and the slight urge to cry, nestling in her stomach like a bird claiming a branch as it's home. Her skin was electric, and she hated to admit she loved it, the thrill of interacting with her, cattiness and all. Imagine feeling this much from fucking bumping into someone? Fingers clenched, nails digging in her own palms at how much she hates her. Intense emotions are a high of their own, and Ra'jah can't help but indulge. The piercing sting of her flesh being pressed in with her nails is intensified as she listens for the faint voice of that lanky girl always accompanying Scarlet. 

"You good Scarlet?"

"Yeah, thanks" She can't look back, but she can't help but wonder- are they hugging? Holding hands? It doesn't- it shouldn't matter to her. The fun amusement pales in comparison to the misery settling in. The realization that she's fighting with Scarlet like they're 16 at the back of English class.

Of all the schools, why'd that girl have to come here? Of all the things to pursue, why the same as herself? Of all the people, why'd it have to be her? Ra'jah didn't have the audacity to explore the last question. What she means, she's not too sure. The only thing in the world she's sure of is that she can't be both New Ra'jah™ and Old Ra'jah™ to different people. The line between the two existences isn't so bold anymore, and painting over the bumps isn't as effective as she'd hoped. 

  ***

  Truth be told, watching herself move around in skirts was one of her favorite things- just about tied with watching others watch her. Maybe that's why she joined cheer in highschool. Especially with the support from (or, lack of thereof) a certain grimacing purple haired girl, a runaway model from a fashion show who wound up wandering this school. She never needed to turn and look, didn't need sight to know there's a burn at her back, nor who it's radiating from. Scarlet always walked with just a bit of a straighter back, just a bit more purpose, and just a bit more stride in her step when her favorite pair of wandering eyes were around. A small part of her always wants to turn around, catch her gaze and watch her frantically look away and pretend she's talking to someone. Or maybe she'll hold it, stare back with just as much intensity. But her wistful attention is enough of an ego boost. The scowl ridden bitch, smile washed away just for her, and yet that's where her attention lied. It made her bite back a smile. 

Scarlet is a pretty thing, and she didn't need constant confirmation to remind her that she's beautiful. She's hot, she knows it, Ra'jah knows it, and Scarlet knows that's all she is to her. A pretty thing. Whatever. She's not important. 

In fear of her brain melting, and/or being fried to a crisp, Scarlet doesn't bother having two classes back to back. Her mental capacity is full, and a nice salad will probably help with that. She's on her way to meet with Yvie for lunch, thinking about their weekend plans, when she takes a misstep and stumbles, all her weight focused in her shoulder which slams against someone else's side.

"Oh shit! I'm so-" the universe is an asshole. May the odds never be in my favor. 

"Maybe watch where you're going" Her sneer is venomous, and the universe has suddenly become just the second biggest asshole. 

"Maybe if you weren't such a stuck up cunt taking up half the hallway I wouldn't hit you" Ra'jah didn't do anything, a rational voice lectures, but she ignores it the way she's ignoring the taller girls face. Scarlet's grabbing at her papers, avoiding eye contact because that selfish pile of shit on her right takes up enough space as is, and if she looks into her eyes, sees that stupid fucking face this close she might do something bad. Like, in the sense of, punching her. Yeah, she can't look at her or she'll beat her up. Because that's a fight she'd win.  

"Uh oh someone's in a bad mood. Stuck up cunt that's a new one! Love the creativity. You should drop out of this school and be a writer" Ra'jah snides, and she needs to drop out before Scarlet gets grey hair from her. 

"Thanks but I'm good! When you fail out this year you can give it a try" Her words are about as empty as her own stomach, because she hasn't eaten since last night, and Ra'jah will quit fashion school and become a science engineer before she fails out. 

"Baby, me? Fail out?" Yeah, with the flawless outfit you're wearing that you sure as hell made just because you were bored one night. Your pants could literally be sold as a luxury brand. The girl who started sewing when she a embryo in the womb, you'll fucking fail out.  "That's a lot of talk for a girl who probably spends more hours getting fucked than studying- But I guess that's how you get yo' A's right?" Scarlet looks up, not at Ra'jah but away from the ground, and the urge to yell, hit her, and cry come up at the same time. She wants to scream, get everyone in hearing range to know that Ra'jah is a loser who will amount to nothing. She wants to reach out and choke her. But articulating her anger into words is too much, and she ends up just whispering whatever words are willing to come out as she gets up, not caring if she left any papers behind. 

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet" And that's the closest thing to honest Scarlet's said all day. 

In the distance, she sees Yvie walking towards her, so she waits until the freshly dyed green haired girl is caught up beside her. 

"You good Scarlet?" 

"Yeah, thanks" The two walk together, side by side, and Scarlet loops her arm through Yvie's, linking the pair. 

"You know, Scarlie, you should stop wearing heels before you break your ankles"

"Hey!" She giggled, slapping the taller girl's arm in response. "I never fall, people just get in my way" Yvie scoffs, unable to stop the corners of her lips turning up and giving her away, forever endeared by the shorter girl. Scarlet's affection makes her forget that they've only known each other for a month. They reach a set of blue doors, and Yvie opens it, holding it for Scarlet to come through. Her face seems puzzled 

"Are you down to go to Mika's Cafe? I want to get some coffee" 

"Sure, they have nice breakfast sandwiches and omelettes, I'm down" It's only a few minutes away from campus 

"What's on your mind"

"Just like, school stuff. I have to make a dress for creative fashion design, and I'm just thinking about it, and what I wanna do" Would it be tmi to blurt that Ra'jah is insufferable? 

"Cool," Yvie hummed, and spiteful words cycled through Scarlet's head, deciding on what exactly to say, before Yvie beats her to it, whipping her head in some seeming urgency

 "OH by the way, I know you're busy with your project and you're determined on getting in the top 5 and all," 

"Uh huh" 

"Buuuuut, there's a Halloween party this weekend, and I was gonna go with Brooke and her friends but they're not going anymore," Scarlet knows how Yvie feels about Brooke, and to be fair she's only met her a few times in passing, but how someone like Yvie could fall for someone as uptight as the boring blonde is beyond her. She doesn't dare bring up another possibility of why her dorm mate would be avoiding the stoic girl, a possibility involving a particularly hot headed latina glued to the Canadians side. "They decided clubbing downtown would be more fun or whatever," They're outside on the pavement now, and the afternoon breeze graces their skin. It's a welcome environment, and Scarlet slows down her pace to enjoy the air, with Yvie quickly matching her pace. 

"Wouldn't you rather go clubbing though? Like not with Brooke and them but with others," Scarlet is friendly and all, but she swears Yvie is somehow friends with half the school. She sure as hell can find a group to go with.

"I guess, but I want to go to the party," she quiets a little as she continues, "There are some people I want to see there, for fun and stuff"

"Mmmm!" Scarlet widens her eyes, looking at the taller girl with a knowing glare, sprinkled with a teeny bit of judgement. 

"It's kinda lame to go there alone!" 

"No it's not!" 

"Scarls, yeah it is"

"Why do you even care? Wanna impress some girls?" In response, Yvie rolled her eyes so hard Scarlet could practically feel it. 

"'Cause you want me to go to a fun Halloween party by myself? 

"Yes! You could walk up to anyone and there's like an 80% chance you already know them, and a 100% chance you'll become friends anyways" The quirky girl's charm is undeniable, she'll be fine without Scarlet. Yvie gives a defeated sigh

"Seems kinda homophobic" 

"Ugh you know what's actually homophobic? The fact that more people aren't madly in love with me. I'm LITERALLY perfect" The prospect of love feels like it's been dangled infront of her, her whole life. Imagine looking like Scarlet, and never dated before?

"You're right girl, you are" Yvie laughed her deep, hearty cackle and Scarlet wanted to melt a little. 

"Thank you, finally someone with taste" Looking at her outfit, she remembers that the tall girl's taste is kind of debatable, and Scarlet almost wants to say she takes it back

"You think Ra'jah has good taste then?" 

"What?" 

"Also a party seems like the best way to meet more people y'know?" She brushes over her last question, and it's much better that way.

"You know what, whatever 'll go with you" Scarlet agrees so she'll shut up. If she hears her roommate bring up she-who-shall-not-be-named-because-shes-a-stick-in-the-ass anymore she might lose her mind. And, she really doesn't have any other plans for the night so might as well.

 ***

AN: going to be a while for the next chapter bc im busy so here's a lil thing lol xo

***

They weren't supposed to meet here. Weren't supposed to see each other. At least, that's what Scarlet tries to tell herself.

"You are such a fucking pain, oh my god" Scarlet seethed because everything is hazy except the impassive girl standing before her and she can't think straight. Her cold eyes are apathetic and Scarlet wants to implode, like a glass thermostat engulfed in a burning heat where it's not a question of if, but an inevitable when? "Maybe I am arrogant" Her voice was coated in a sickly sweet frustration. She pushed further into Ra'jah's space, the taller girl stiffening at the ever decreasing space between the two. How can she be so still, so unreactive? This is all so amusing to her? Is she having fun, so fucking detached from everything and watching Scarlet crumble? Pretending like she cares about Scarlet past her pretty face? Enjoying her sadistic game? Fuck her, fuck her, fuck her. 

"Maybe I am narcissistic" Their faces were inches apart, and Ra'jah could feel the angry womans hot breathe on her cheek, the pungent smell of alcohol intruding her nose.

"But I'd rather be a confident, arrogant narcissist than whatever kind of sad fuck you are" 

Scarlet growled, and she wanted to breathe fire, burn Ra'jah's existence out of her mind and scream at everything she felt because of her. Except that she sees her, and wants her, wants to hurt her and touch her and without thinking her hands are digging around Ra'jah's waist.

"You are such-" Scarlet was interrupted as the other girl leaned in, framed the shorter girl's face with both her hands, and pressed her lips against Scarlets. Any thoughts or mental functionality she had were put to an abrupt stop. This wasn't supposed to happen. It's been so long, but no time has passed since they were last like this. The plug to her brain was pulled, and it's all static and her bodys done a full 180. Ra'jah's piercing lips are numbing, and her overheated body feels like it's been dunked in ice where all her nerves are all in shock. They weren't supposed to do this anymore, it's the only thing they've ever been able to agree on. She was frozen, unable to move, or think, far too busy being hyper focused on the familiar sugary lips on hers, sending waves of nostalgia through her body. Time has only heighted the intoxication. She gains some composure and surges forward, but Ra'jah's pulling away, opening her mouth to finally say something.

"You're so much prettier when you're quiet"

[rrandomtthings]

Why i hate hawks and what i think about the heroes and villains :

Firstly I always thought of hawks to be really sus when i was watching bnha, and even before season 5 or when i started to read the manga this year. I didn’t trust that he was a good character and got really bad vibes from him. While everyone else liked him, I just couldn’t bring myself to see how. Sure he’s cool and I guess good looking to others. But I never understood why people could like him. Moving on. He’s a huge ahole. In season 5 , he really made me mad when he was treating tokoyami that way. Even though he ended up being a great teacher and helping him out, it still bugged me, idk but that’s my opinion. Now to the biggest reason I hate hawks, is what he had done twice. He had no reason . No reason to do that to him . Even though it was his job to betray the Lov, he really didn’t have to go down that path. Where was the good in killing twice? Making him think that they were friends, making him think that twice had another person to trust and someone else who understood . It's like hawks said right ? That he was only going to take him into custody, and help him change his ways . He said this right before he killed him off. And even more, what was the point at ALL for saving him from dabi’s fire???? What was the reason, if he was just going to kill him off himself . How is that being a hero ? Heroes are supposed to do anything to stop the villain, without causing deaths. There was no justice in killing twice, there was no justice in betraying the league, there was no justice in even giving the hero's information on the villains, because in the end, they just ended up having a huge war that they didn't even when, and let many heros die and villains get away, and everyone disagreeing with the heroes and having them against them. All i'm trying to say is , i don’t think hawks should be called a hero , and i hate him for what he has done, not only to twice, but also making things so much worse, gaining the trust of people who really believed him and then betrayed them, and for him getting justice for killing when isn't that a crime when the villains do it?

Speaking of heros. I don’t condone any of the villains for their crimes. But none of it would have happened if it wasn’t for society . The way I see it, it's the world's fault for how every villain turns out. No one is willing to help them. Listen to them. Understand their story . Villains, in my opinion, are understood people that lash out against the world, because the world turns their back on them. Just like what happened to Shigaraki when he was little. The old lady went up to him, gave him some type of hope that someone was there, got a good look at his appearance and she walked away and said “I'm sure the police or heroes will come soon” . Even the people on the street just gave him glances , not even bothering to see what's wrong.

“ After that, i left home and ran away . I had no idea what to do .” None of this would have happened if his family treated him better . “ What am i supposed to do now ?. Someone … Anyone… please tell me. Help me!”

“ But even so , in a society overflowing with heroes , I couldn't help but wonder if no one saving me was my punishment for killing my family “ . He even feels guilt for what happened, but he was put in a position where he had no choice, or that's what he was led to believe. That if he could take away the thing that led to his itchiness, he’ll finally be okay. He didn't know that it was a wrong thing, he was desperate to be finally okay, he didn't even know what to do , he didn't know what he was doing

“ If only he had done something , if only she had done something, I thought the itching went away but . If at that time, just one person had lent a helping hand … maybe all of the itchiness would have gone away.”

Why wasn't anyone there? Aren't heroes supposed to always be there, saving people, helping them, isn't society responsible for what happens around them since they are the ones who control how it can change and what happens to it from their actions? And then they wonder why things happen to them. Why not step into the villains shoes. Why can't the world just be kind , and right . But his itching went away, because just when he found himself all alone, surrounded by nothing but loneliness and getting hurt by the people around him, someone came to save him. And that person wasn't a hero, but a villain . Do you understand where I'm getting at? Of course shigaraki would grow up thinking that things that are illegal are okay, and why he turned out that way.

Fake heroes couldn't care less. They are in it for themselves , not giving a dang about anyone else. It's just for show. They just want to keep up appearances, show that they could never do wrong . But a true hero would keep fighting, and keep helping , making sure everyone was okay and preventing things from happening. He would fight for what's right. I dont think a true hero would let the villain get away of course, but they would look for the good in them and help them become a better person. Again, i do not condone the villains' actions. Because I do also believe that there are just some things that are purely evil and cannot be forgiven or even have an excuse for , but I'm saying, there are always two sides to a story. We just need someone who can look at both and make a change .Because maybe the heroes aren't really the people who should be getting praise in the story . In the end, sometimes the heroes are the hypocrites and the ones doing wrong. And we just need people to see that.

I don't know if I have a strong sense of justice, or think in grey, or maybe I'm just rambling. But I always felt strongly about these types of things. I am happy to share some more thoughts on bnha and some opinions and theories i have - 🔥❄️️

And anon!! You are super valid to have this opinion

I do understand where you’re coming from. I’m a very indecisive person. So when it comes to this situation I understand both sides. I understand why it was awful for Hawks to kill Twice, but I also understand why he had to do it. I generally agree with what you’re saying though and do understand where you’re coming from. But I also think it’s important to remember that Hawks did not want to kill Twice. It was 100% the worst case scenario — the scenario that had happened. It was an awful thing to do and you’re once again very valid to dislike him for this reason, totally understandable. I personally like Hawks bc,, he is the personification of what’s wrong with hero society. He was a child with a gifted quirk who was groomed to be what is perfect for societal standards — to be a good hero. He was stripped of everything from such a young age and to him,, this was normal. This shows how fucked up hero society is and how, being someone raised by the government, that has influenced his thinking. For example with the Twice situation and how he did not hesitate to hurt Twice

As for the villains, I 100% agree with you. They are a result of a failed hero society. Take Toga for example, she was completely trashed bc of her quirk. These people are pushed to villainy bc they literally have no where else to go. Where was Toga supposed to go after everyone treated her so horribly? Where was Dabi supposed to go after Endeavor? These people had no one. They are the result of a toxic mentality that revolves around quirks. The lesser or more “villainous” your quirk is, the further down you are in the chain. This was shown with Deku, but to a much lesser extent. Bc Deku was quirkless, he was treated like his quirk — he was treated like nothing. This is why I love villain!Deku AU’s so much bc,, it’s so interesting to think about where Deku would have gone if he had grown hatred for the people who treated him so horribly.

This reminds me of Ochakos question of “who saves the heroes” bc the answer is that the heroes save the heroes. They are the ones who are there for each other. This is why I want her to change her question to “who saves the villains” as she tries to save Toga,, bc who does save the villains? Bc it sure as hell isn’t the heroes

Also!! Pls feel free to come into my inbox at anytime!! I had a lot of fun analyzing and chatting about this <3

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / OCTOBER 4, 2019 // the party

again w the first 2 minutes of the next episode to keep the dates 🙏🏻

"if only i could get myself a new father, too" WELL SWEETIE! here ya go! 😅 ("you already have a barbie dad at home" "thats a fake dad, i want a real dad")

-"ohhhhhhh" charlie 😂

-"someone needs a spin on the chore wheel" - i honestly cant see victoria doing the chore wheel. it definitely sounds like a george thing. what if george went to parenting classes with victoria drunk/asleep taking the notes to help raise her sisters

-"with the exception of one vandal" i was SO CONFUSED by this statement for ages but i finally figured it out 😅

-"kate would have been happy to see it" oh nick. if only you knew her truth

-ace surrounded by all these romantic interruptions lmaoooo

-"hi bessie!!" 😍😭💙

-"need any help?" i get that this quote is to show how george has parenting well in hand but this also reminds me of when george went to the beach in ep 2 to help the crew w the morgue and then overheard nancy and nick talking and left

-"with everything that's happened" so does owen know?

-"my closest relative is not my blood relative" i get that shes had like. 12 hours to process this but this statement acknowledges a relationship for nancy and carson not based on blood which is very against what nancy said/felt previously and throughout

-"yours is like a moped with a roof" in ep 3 ryan mocks carson's "dad car" but in the end ryan's the one with the dad car 🙂

-BESS 😂😭🙈 and "lets hope the agleaca doesnt feed off of negative energy" it kinda does tho!

-what was ace decrypting for owen? paperwork diana is going through from the next ep? (similar stuff to tiffany's flashdrive? how did she get thet stuff btw? and when were she and ryan married? how long has she been digging up skulls?)

-ryan omgggggg i hate how his kid has to take control of the situation bc he cant handle adult interaction appropriately (and "i'm sorry for your loss" im sure ryan is sick of that phrase by now) ryan + women/losses v gains : losing lucy, tiffany, george, potentially his mom (disappointed d/t everett) and gaining nancy (and regaining lucy via)

-"do you think you would have tried to-" i really wonder what she was gonna say here. i guarantee it was gonna be some version of "ask for help" as in "do you think you would have tried to get some other adults involved or ask for opinions from a social worker or something" and enter carson & kate. i guarantee she was trying to envision a situation in which ryan had her but carson and kate featured anyway

-ryan vs carson -->nancy<-- ryan vs owen : asking ryan to help save carson (ace/poisoner) / wondering if owen dies here / would ryan have saved carson in that ep if he knew they had taken nancy or would he have treated him like owen and let him die? (also, ryan is weirdly prophetic about owen's death here)

-"what the hell is wrong with you?" ryan to everett and "what is WRONG with you?" nancy to ryan

-"don't blame genetics. because people make choices."

-she seems SO shocked that ryan would actually leave her there after she screamed at him lmaoooo like sis the entitlement

-"i dont even understand some of the words you're using" CARSON 😂

-DIANA damn bc of a wedding speech?? i fuckin love her tho and her actress too soooo classy

-owen: -sees nancy- -immediately dumps other people to go to her- // shades of blue again! (+he wants to introduce her to the family 😭)

-okay but babies DO look alike

-"and are they haunted by lucy sable?" **

-"what if you hadn't needed me?" parallels how nancy wasn't going to be told either- ryan and nancy are equals in their haunting in ways that carson was unequal to nancy in grief. *this and the previous statement i will explain de jure at the end of tomorrows ep to recap the whole season

-"that's the first time i've believed you actually cared about something" vs "finally. a straight answer"

-"are you alright?" she finally doesnt lie

-ryan and carson sizing each other up lmaooo and ace with the save as always

-"they're not my friends" vs "i need you to save my friends"

-nancy's pain during ritual echoes lucy's birth giving (pain & noises) but nancy is with ryan this time while lucy had to go through it alone

-how many fucking times does bess put her foot in her mouth??

•"murderer on the loose" in front of nick

•bess in george's office with ryan

•"you slept with my cousin!" in front of nick

•"george slept with nancys dad" to george

which is honestly contrasted with george, who makes the succinct observations: "you mean do it for you?" "oh, so this is a thing" "you mean rehab?" but george also outs peoples secrets like nancys mom dying and bess's van living to nick (only to nick tho lmaooo 👀🤔)

-so all these portents are things that happened to odette? hair shorn, bound and choked with rope, drowning in water with crabs and maggots crawling all over her, occasional fish hooks getting caught in her as she sinks (+dead in the water being so appropriate here, sadly)

~~~~~

-"i trusted you to be kind but look what it cost me"

and lastly:

-again with the truth telling and the straight up rejection! thats 0/2 lisbeth and john sander cancelling the supernatural

[shay11a]

New Rules, an overly long review

Alright, let’s do this.

I’ll just start with a little disclaimer that english is not my first language and although I’m usually fluent-ish some of my sentences might not translate very well from french, so please bear with me. Also this i like barely edited so sorry about the mistakes.

I’m here to talk about my favorite fanfiction, not only in this fandom, but in all fandom (and trust me, I’m a part of a lot of fandoms), and of all the fanfictions I’ve ever read (and trust me I’ve read a lot) : New Rules by the amazing @tayegi

The first time I read, I binge read it, but make no mistake, I don’t mean that I rushed though the story in one day, oh no, I mean I couldn’t do anything else, every minute of my day that I wasn’t in class or adulting, I was reading it, but it’s one of those rare fictions where I knew I was reading something just that good that I needed to make it last as much as possible. Imagine my struggle, balancing the need to know what was going to happen next and my visceral need to make it last as much as possible because I knew I could never experience this first reading again. 

That’s how much I love this story.

Unfortunetaly, there came a time I caught up.

So I re-read it.

Again.

And Again.

To this day, I often come back to it, re-reading entirely or picking up at any point to enjoy again a moment that I particularly like. I do this often with fiction I particularly liked, but one thing that I find amazing with NR is that, contrary to most fic, no matter where I pick up, I know what is happening, what happened before that, because the plot is just so wonderfully crafted that everything has consequences, every character is relevant and their actions have consequences that they are held accountable to by the plot (dunno is this makes sense but it does in my native language sorry) I regret not posting a review under every chapter as I read, it was selfish on my part, but I needed to continue, I have some notes from this review at the end but they lack the specificity of first impressions, I apologize for that. 

I also have to mention that this review is NOT spoiler free so if you want to read it please, PLEASE New Rules before that there is absolutely NO way that you won’t thank me (and Tayegi of course) afterwards, and don’t ‘I don’t mind spoilers’ me this story DESERVES to be read spoiler free.

Alright, buckle up kiddos, let’s do this.

I. The writing

The way the plot unveils is downright cathartic. I recently re-read it entirely to make this review and going back to the first chapters and seing how everything just MAKES SENSE and how a small thing happening has consequences over everything later. Just HUH brilliant. (I’m thinking about OC’s crush on Jimin here and how through the prism of Mijoo we later see that her crush was her projecting // Jin, now THAT’S WRITING) 

The smut, how do I put it, is bomb but it doesn’t feel like smut smut, it feels like actual sex described, not idealized and in my opinion it just adds to the quality of the story, because sex is an essential part of the story, not something added to satiate the hormones of horny readers (as an ex-horny teenager, I want to thank people writing this kind of smut and say that there is nothing wrong with writing this kind of smut) or just for the sake of it because apparently having sex is the culminating point of a relationship. Sex scenes tell a story as much as argument scenes, if not more. First, because as a sex friends to lover AU (smh) it is inherently part of the story but also because the characters don’t just stop having a backstory, emotions and emotional baggage when they have sex, all those things are still present and they influence the way they act in bed. And THAT is satisfying to read.  

On many occasions, in the fanfic writing community, you can hear (read?) people saying, « this fiction could / should be published like an actual book » I’m not here to further the debate on real literature, fanfiction and so what not, but this fiction is one that, more importantly than it being published, I feel like I could study in english class, take an extract and study the amazing characterization, how the scene furthers the plot, what are the literary devices used to do so. I feel like I could study the running metaphors, the sub plots and how they correlate so well to the main plot and further the characterization of a character, the plot itself or something else. Everything feels like a neatly knitted masterpiece. 

In that aspect, one scene that I particularly liked was the one where OC is hidden listening to JK and Hyejin, and as she hears what he says, she crushes the rose in her hand. It’s such a simple and yet telling idea: her bourgeoning love and hope for a romantic relationship symbolized by the ultimate romantic symbol : a rose, and JK’s words make her try and crush those feelings, but she hurts herself doing so, because the action itself is a painful one — trying to refrain hope / trying to suffocate feelings — but also because love, just like roses has thorns that may hurt, that’s why JK is so afraid of committing it seems, and the irony is that he is doing exactly that to someone else. (My explanation is so messy plfnmesdmflfmqf sorry)

One recurring idea/plot device that I have noticed is the one of misunderstanding / misreading each others. OC and JK constantly misread each others (I’m thinking about the scene in the bar where she rubs his back affectionately and he interprets it in a sexual way) and idk but something about this really hits me hard, because it’s human, so inherently human, this makes the characters feel like human beings not fictional archetypes. Because in real life, we can’t take a step back and have a view of the bigger picture the way we can as an omniscient reader who remembers very well what one said or did earlier that explains their behavior. In real life we dont know and cannot guess why people act a certain way based on some hinted at tragic backstory that would explain their commitment issues.

On a lighter note, the writing is just so freaking FUNNY, like I can’t count how many times I cackled like an idiot reading. + Tayegi has a way of cutting from scenes to scenes or from dialogue to dialogue that is just so FUNNY (if it was a movie I would talk about editing because it’s exactly how it feels, like when you got A saying ‘I will never do that’ and it cuts and the next frame is A doing exactly that)

More on the writing in the notes for every chapter further below.

II. Feminism, social justice and me relating to everything 

Ok this part is going to be a bit more personal but I had to address how much main girl and her struggles resonated with me. As a feminist myself I VERY often struggles with the same problem : that is when my beliefs come brutally crashing with the social constructs I have internalized and have yet to deconstruct as well as the people surrounded me who don’t necessarily share the same belief. And the way Tayegi portrayed this is spot on not to say borderline genius. 

Her mixed feelings when facing Hoseok « not like other girls » comments or the conversation where she struggles to explain why she is fucking the notorious fuckboy despite her talks about hook-up culture were punches in the guts to me, because feminists are always the ones to be criticized the most easily (I am aware that my phrasing here is horrendous but I don’t know how to word this differently again sorry English is not my native language) and the slightest slip-up will be pointed at by people who aren’t even feminist but see an easy way to gaslight them. So, to read this, to read another woman facing the same situations and being as utterly upset and sometime powerless as I felt, god was it cathartic. 

And don’t get me started on the way she always ALWAYS sticks by her principles of sorority, even to the women that have been nothing less than mean to her and how hard it is to support other women when we live in a society that always pit women against each others. I FELT that. But nevertheless main girl tries to, she compliments Somin on her dress, Hiejin as well even though they both have been openly hostile (and even mean sometimes) to her. I truly felt this, all theses little moments, just a sentence here and there, but I felt them in my guts.

III. The characters 

The characters, oh god, the characters. OC ? Marry me. JK? Marry me (also I want to slap him but it’s another story). Taehyung ? Marry me. Mijoo? Marry me.   

The relationship between OC and her BFF is in my opinion one of the best thing about the pic and one that really remarks it from other, the twist about twist alsmot made me believe it would be like every other pic where oc ends up with virtually no friend (especially female ones because like everyone know girls cause drama riiiight ) but it happens so early ? How could it ooooh it’s not like that, OC and her BFF and mature enough to discuss it, it still has  consequences, the scene where OC accuses BFF of pushing her onto Jk to make herself feel better about jimmy still gives me chills because, yeah, it makes sens that she would, and it kinda feels like she did with how insistant she has been, but again, we are told the story from OC’s perspective, so obviously she feels bad when BFF insists that her and JK are meant to be bc she knows that JK wouldn’t date her, but again, as readers, we can kinda see from BFF perspective, they indeed look perfect for one another and only misunderstanding and insecurities and Jk’s past seems to be in the way (okay granted when you say it like that it seems like a lot), but in the end, Mijoo also seems genuine in the way she pushes them together, even though, yeah she might have, consciously or not done it for that reason.

i don’t know if I want a happy ending for OC and JK, I want one because they are so good and sweet together and after everything they’ve been through I feel like they sort of deserve it, but after everything they’ve been through, especially the way JK has behaved, it seems hard for a happy ending to happen. I feel like it’s going to take a lot of time and talking (including his backstory that has been hinted at a few times wink wink) for them to work things out, if they work things out.

I’ve mentioned that before but : THE SORORITY oh lord where do I start? OC standing up for Hyejin and Somin even when they had a few rough patches, sign me the fuck UP. OC not turning totally on her best friend Mijoo (my girl btw) and overlooking their friendship and what she had done for her in the time of Jin because Mijoo made a selfish mistake ? Yes please, MORE.

Hoseok is, in my opinion, spot ON. It took me some time to exactly pin point who he reminded me of but then I realized he is exactly what I call the 'apolitical guy’, who is convinced to not have controversial opinion and would deny ever having prejudice when he clearly has (i.e. the scene where Oc calls him out on his misogynie

I have to admit that Hyejin and Somin are amongst my favorites because even though the plot (and the fact that we are basically supposed to be on OC’s side as the story is told from her perspective)  makes them very unsympathetic, your writing allows us to understand their actions and empathize with them. Learning about Hyejin’s past with JK makes her look like the character of a fan fiction where she could have been the main character unfortunately for her, this is OC’s story so Hyejin can’t get the guy in the end. But truly, her backstory feels like an entire other ff in the story and to be honest basically every other character’s backstory as well as the subplots feel this way. And Somin, well Somin is basically going through the same thing as OC but with Hoseok so how can we mock her for it while crying for OC ? That’s impossible and that’s why your writing is so powerful, there is no clear ‘bad guy’ (appart from J*n but who cares about that roquefort face) and everyone is in that gray, humane area. 

Every character has so many layer (I don’t count JK and OC in this because at this point we can’t talk about layers anymore it’s a damn millefeuille) and getting to discover more about them is amazing. 

Basically, every side character reflects something on OC and JK and further the plot, the themes while feeling like their own individuals with their own complex thoughts and problems and I think that’s fucking brilliant. 

And now onto my notes for every chapter (it’s low-key very messy sorry)

Chapter 1 :

Lord to thing that it started with a simple friend request :’)

I love how in the very first line, OC telling Mijoo how she knows JK instantly characterizes him to the reader, it’s smart BUT also characterize OC as someone quick witted and serious/professional but also very sarcastic, funny and taking no shit from anyone. Incipit done well here. I mean, so much exposition is crammed into the very first lines but it just feels soooo natural!

I also love how the dynamic between Mijoo and OC can appear « basic » but will later be revealed to be so much more complex and profound and that’s basically how everything in this fic just keep getting better and more complex as you read.

Also, I love how OC and JK’s first encounter is because they are both trying to help their best friends, I missed it in the first reading but it’s so telling of their characters. Also I appreciate OC not hating on JK just because she hates him from afar and he suddenly notices her and gets turned on by that (like in a lot of ff let’s not lie, I love myself some bad boy!AU but it’s getting redundant), she genuinely seems to not give a fuck about him and it’s so funny to me somehow, my girl just minding her business, getting her straight A’s and doing charity work, we stan. Also, the entire part where they complain about Jimin and Mijoo is downright hilarious 

I really like the way JK says the poetry assignment is easy, hinting at the fact that he is, in fact, not a stupid fuckboi cliché (+ what happens with their presentation and him working his BUTT of)

The entire part where OC and Jk act like they are together is so DAMN FUNNY but at the same time it just shows that they have great chemistry from the get go and I love that. (But seriously it’s so f*ing funny)

I love they way OC’s crush on Jimin is brought up, it’s not outwardly said, but the way he is described form her pov makes it obvious and her helplessness when looking at him and Mijoo is just so heartbreaking (+ getting to me on a personal level since I’ve been in a very similar situation for years so :))) like, you can feel that she doesn’t want to be feeling this way, and is obviously trying to help her BFF and be selfless but cannot help but feel jealousy.+ JK immediately catching up on her crush, showing he is more observant than you’d think.

JK and OC being dumb & dumber AND partner in crime is everything I’ve ever wanted

The description of the feeling of loneliness post-parties is so accurate, and the way she feels is so relatable and heartbreaking. 

The part about anguish and the way she feels suffocated by her feminine attire got to me and honestly I got really close to cryingThe end of the chapter upsets me in the best way, to see JK be so oblivious to how vulnerable and lonely OC is, man it really makes the entire thing so much more gutswrenching.

Highlights (basically lines that made me laugh or that I find particularly well written) :

“then I don’t know why he’s friended you”

“should I block him too?” 

“can you get you get more obvious without tattooing ‘Park Jimin’ on your ass? It’s obvious he owns it anyways”

“why does this kid has so many shirtless selfies”

“it’s like this boy is like a walking cliché of the world’s most basic fuckboi” I see what you did here ;)))

“Ah… you knew?” The way I laugh EVERY time at this line

“Would you be really mad at me if I poured this all over your boobs?“ alkfnenfmefnkgjh Mijoo is my queen

“try her ass instead” JK you absolute moron genius

“Mijoo as been trying to get you laid since freshman” I looove how this just sounds so random and plays into the cliché of the extroverted BFF trying to drag OC to parties and get her laid but with OC’s backstory // Jin it makes SO much more sense

“I won’t feed you lies” he, said, you know, like a liar.

“Your worth as a woman isn’t defined by your purity or whatever bullshit” love the hint at the later reveal that JK is, indeed, a woke king. We stan

“But unfortunately, you aren't the altruistic saint you wish you could be. You suffer from the same human emotions that plague everyone. And they aren't pretty.Despite what the artists and poets claim, the world works in a logical way. It's a simple mathematical formula. Girls like Mijoo end up with their princes. And you remain a bitter stepsister, helpless but to watch their happily ever after from a distance. One that you'll never achieve.” God that part.... 

“Here is a man who actually wants you. Not you, but your body, a little voice in the back of your head reminds you. But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that someone might actually desire you…  ... He feels so thick inside of you that for a moment, the hole in your chest is filled”  This is what I mean when I say that the smut in this story makes SENSE

“You wish you could cling onto this feeling forever so you'll never feel empty again.” The way this scene is supposed to be all smut sexy time but it is actually one of the most emotionally packaged and heart wrenching scene, really I can’t with your writing </333 

“He grins at that, "I thought you knew me better than to take anything I said seriously?“Jk you manipulative mf I hate your fuckboi ass

"Ugh, please don't tell me you're a cuddler," you grumble as you twist in his embrace. "I'm not," he denies, but the way he buries his nose in your hair says otherwise, "And don't think about asking me to stay the night, because I'm not that kind of guy." The dynamic of the entire duo summed up in one paragraph

Chapter 2 :

The moment she reassures Mijoo and see what she is missing is :((

I remember than the first time I read new rules and feminist JK came clean I was honestly shocked (years of being guarded around men’s misoginy and fake feminism I guess) but re-reading it, it’s so nice to see the hints everywhere that he genuinely is and it warms my heart.

The convo JK and OC have about relationships and meaningless sex is not only such a good foreshadowing of the problems they will face later when it comes to coming clean about both their feelings (looking at you JK you moron) but also such a relatable feeling of ‘I know I said men are trash but I’m still vaguely heterosexual and would really like to believe that some aren’t and I know it sounds like I’m reassuring myself and honestly I am because it’s starting to become hard to really believe that’

The twits oh god the TWIST!!! The heartbreak it gave me, I was going to put some sentences in the highlights but honestly I almost ended up putting the entire scene so I gave in but it’s just so well written and nerve wracking to see what could have been and to realize that the friend that OC has been putting so much effort into helping betrayed her.  Like, I can emphasis enough how much I cried reading this, considering I have been in a very similar situation, and that’s probably why this struck a chord so powerfully but wow. 

The blowjob scene is simply another brilliant double meaning smut scene, the way OC is trying to regain control over something, someone, even if it’s not the one she wants, the way she makes him beg to hear compliments, heartbreaking (I know I’ve said this word like a million time and we’re just on chapter 2 but your writing really is something else) 

The scene where she confronts Mijoo is in my opinion one of the BEST I have ever read, the way you can feel her heartbreak and her powerlessness but also the maturity she exudes, the way she tries to be the bigger person and do what’s right, lord I see myself here and it fucking hurts.

“He really likes you, Mijoo. Don’t let him slip away… You’ll only regret it.”  The double meaning that applies to OC here is killing me  

“On any other day, this is the kind of party you would protest, running around with a half dozen other of your feminist friends as you collect signatures for a boycott.” <3

“Wait… what makes you think that we’re supposed to be the hoes?”  <3 <3

“Yeah. You really do.” Jk sometimes I really like you 

“No, sweetheart. You’re the childish one for not being able to accept grown up emotions. Why is falling in love and caring for someone outside of their physical appearance so shameful to you? You need to grow the fuck up and realize that feeling for another human being does not make you weak.”<3 <3 <3

“Frat brothers are despicable…except this one, of course.” Absolutely love how first reading makes it sound like her crush is speaking and second reading shows her idealization of him here 

“You swallow the lump in your throat. It would be one thing to see them wildly making out or grinding in the mosh pit like all the other horny kids. But to see them so enveloped in each other, content to just hug for the rest of the night… It hurts you more than you can express. You’d rather walk in on them fucking. This display of the purest affection… No one has ever held you like that before.You’re jealous. It’s shameful how horrendously jealous you are.”</3

“You need me?” you repeat in a small voice.” OC baby I get you I love you and you deserve th world ;(( </3

“You feel like such a villain, grilling this angel and making her upset. It’s such an irritating feeling, but you can’t choke it back.“It’s not like I liked him anyways…” Lord what have you done to my heart and I think it’s my favorite sentence in the entire story !

Chapter 3 :

OC protecting and looking out for Yerin is just so adorable I CAN’T

The discussion with Hyejin, the foreshadowing!!!!!!!

The way OC is self-aware and thinks JK only wants her body (and at the time it was highly likely) just makes the scene that much more heartbreaking, which makes me realize that all the smut scene up until now have been that way. 

The entire chapter feels like a BIG call out to me thanks for that I guess. (I’m kidding it was wonderful and actually got me reflecting a lot on my habits and self deprecation)

“the ugly cage around your heart loosen a bit”

“Wow, your fungal cream is so nice. I hope you get that infection checked out." We love a considerate and caring man

“You would take this over the hollowness in your chest. You would gladly take the meaningless sex, the hard pounding of your pussy without a single gesture of affection. Who needs an emotional connection when you can have the pain beat out of you? Who needs someone to like you when you have someone to use you?”  No words.

Chapter 4 :

I don’t know if I said that already but I just looooove the way you sprinkle hints here and here about everything ! Foreshadowing events and future revelations it’s just so nice to read and makes second (and third, and fourth) reading sooooo much more entraining and satisfying <3333. Like Oc and Mijoo are drunk and we get a snip at what happened freshman year, there were other hints previously but this just makes the reader WANT to know what the f* went down. And it makes up for Mijoo betrayal, it’s a nice way of explaining why OC « brushed » over her betrayal, we know that she was there in such a hard time for OC and yes it really builds the suspense around that whilst portraying Mijoo as more than the fake BFF who betrayed, I love that.

I love the way you use the word ‘ugly’ and how it’s very often associated with jealousy.

I want to address how much I adore your side characters and sub-plots. Like all of them are so likable (even Somin) and feel like genuine people with their own complex thoughts, seriously your characterization is out of this world! (special shout-out to Yoongi who is spot-ON imo). Like, I want to hangout with these people and be their friends. 

ALso I feel like we are really starting to see Jk and OC’s chemistry (unrelated to being evil little matchmaker) and it’s SOOOOOO good, it feels so natural and seeing them slowly slide into a romantic relationship (don’t tell Jk) seems like the most  natural thing (+ everyone thinking they are actually together and honestly they are)

"Hey so you like kick around a ball or whatever?" I love your humor I genuinely laughed at this 

"Balls?" he says pointedly.” Same here

"Who are you talking about?" Jungkook asks in confusion, "I don't have a—ah you mean ___?" You sure didn’t think for long jk 👀👀and you didn’t even deny it 👀👀👀and you came as soon as being asked 👀👀👀👀👀👀sus 

"Beats me," he whispers back, "I didn't even know we had a soccer team until this week!"LMAOOOOOOOOO

Chapter 5 :

The foreshadowing with Bang telling JK he is worried about his performance !! That’s why I love this fic so much! EVERYTHING is here, nothing happens out of the blue, you just have to pay attention to things to see things coming and not in a predictable but rather gratifying way.

The scene where OC hugs JK ? a masterpiece. I don’t know what more to say about it, it’s one of those things that touch on such a level that deconstructing it feels impossible and would break the spell, the intimacy I felt between the two of them and the stark contrast with Hyejin are perfect to characterize their relationship. Feels natural behind closed doors but lacking the words to clarify what they are, especially when faced with other people, and themselves. I L O V E it.

“you watch Taehyung roll around in the grass with his high-tech camera” don’t know why this is so funny to me but it is 

"Are we not speaking the same language right now?!" Jungkook barks into the receiver, "Are you fucking high?" The fact that he barks it makes it even funnier

Chapter 6 :

Oc’s conversation with Taehyung about hookup culture (and her behavior at large) just SCREAM ‘I have had such a terrible experience with love before that I cannot even begin to think about letting it happen again otherwise I will never love again’ and it HURTS. But! The way she approaches things with such maturity and is so in touch with her feelings is simply admirable. 

When OC is caught between Hoseok and JK at the party !!! It’s so frustrating but in the best  way possible because they got soooo close to actually talking things out clearly and making things better but their pride and whatever got in the way and we know it! JK and Oc I love y’all but also you’re so stupid. (Also it’s exactly what I was talking about in my ‘misunderstanding each others’ part. I feel like this is during this chapter that they really start to fuck up the communication because that’s the chapter where it becomes abundantly clear that feeeeelings are starting to get into the mix, they both try to distract themselves (unconsciously or not) with someone else, HYejin and Hoseok, and miserably fails. 

Also the domesticity!! That’s cute and fluffy and I’m blushing like I’m 12 year old again. 

“You’re right, » he says « I have to get more creative” I have said that Taehyung is hands down the funniest character here ?

"I want someone to choose me," you admit in a small voice, "I want someone to fall for my personality—to love me because of my hot temper and annoying disobedience, not in spite of it. I want this person to be surrounded by prettier, nicer, sweeter girls, but still seek me out… I'd rather them fall for my personality first, then settle for superficial traits like my lacking appearance… Is that really too much to ask?" Once again, thanks for calling me out also I’m crying this is one of the best paragraphs you have written

“He's like a character from a 1950's romance novel stepped off the page” Oc sweetheart remember something else about the 50’s 👀👀 Like ... the sexism ?

“The moon is high in the sky at this point of night, not shrouded by dark clouds for once, and illuminating the entire rooftop with its luminous silvery gleam. But for some reason, it seems like all the moonlight concentrates into a single beam on Hoseok, surrounding him in a brilliant white halo. You swallow tightly and drop your gaze as though burned.” The imagery here is beautiful and I like that you associated him with the moon when he is usually the sun 

"Oh, honey… You don't have to pretend to be strong in front of me." And there goes my heart.

"Did you think I was going to let her sleep on the streets or something?" is his sarcastic reply.You roll your eyes, "Thanks, Yoongi." We love character development (their friendship is so endearingly funny)

"Right… But um… what happened after the game on Saturday… uh…" A blush suddenly suffuses his cheeks, coloring his skin a lovely shade of rose, "I… I just wanted to—""Ah, that's right. There's another game next week," you hastily steer the conversation away, terrified by what he might say. "Don't worry, I'll be there too. I really need to start writing this article.""Oh, right… That's exactly what I was going to say," he says, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.” I want to slap some sense in these idiots’ heads 

"Yeah, but the problem is that I don’t want to." I am S C R E E C H I N G

Chapter 7 :

The scene where they wake up together and he smiles and calls her pretty and the misunderstanding scene makes me want to slap them you belated idiots

SO MUCH things happen in this chapter and I think it’s one of my favorite!! I have to say that the scene where OC protests against the date auction and faces the resistance of her sorority hit close to home. It’s always so heartbreaking to see fellow girls complying to sexism. 

Also also, feminist JK keeps me up at night. Fuck yeah. (You know the lisa simpson meme with the orange juice, that’s me with feminist JK, give me MORE of that. 

Also, her performance : I C O N I C

"You're just exclusive fuck buddies… Even though you don't do casual sex and Jungkook doesn't do exclusive. It totally doesn't feel like you're hiding your feelings." My thought exactly Mijoo

“Staying so guarded might protect you from pain… But it'll also protect you from any happiness." *Slow clapping*

“Why would you go for someone who doesn't see your worth? You deserve to be with someone picks you out in a sea of people. Who likes you the best." 👀👀👀

"…Do not resuscitate… Got it," you solemnly note.” You’re so funnyykekzldk

“You aggressively bid from backstage, even as Taehyung motions for you to get lost” I laughed out loud at this

« sold » HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJIfhehfqenfoneqlfnqdkfncqefnlmzfkbnrdbfksvm kjnefkenfe hAAAAH ????!!! flefnekf HIIII ç!!!!ç!uj

Chapter 8 :

I’m sorry there is not much commentary about this one but I can for the life of me read it with a critical eye since I’m too caught up in the suspense and the fact that a million things are happening, the only thing I can think about is that your fiction, although it is a college AU is so versatile and you touch on so many other genre (here : sport) and manage to successfully make every single one enthralling and further your plot!

“Maybe if I had lost, you would've hugged me again." HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIJZKELMLDIZPEKDLEBDLLDKKEJ 

"Please, ___. Please don't go."But sheer panic flashes in his eyes when you attempt to shake him loose. "Don't leave me," he croaks out in desperation, "Please, ___. Don't leave me…"Not like she did." Don’t think I’m not seeing what you’re doing here 👀👀

Chapter 9 :

I feel high-key stupid because that’s like the 6th time I read New rules but I just realized that there might be a parallel going on between Jk and OC’s story, it’s obvious with the hints that you’ve sprinkled that something bad happened with JK’s past girlfriend but it’s just now re-reading Oc’s backstory with Jin that I realize that JK might have been in the ‘fucking around to get back/over his ex’ stage of his breakup like OC in the summer Freshman year, which led to him having his fuckboy reputation despite not ‘really’ being one (i.e. him saying that he hates hookup culture when Oc talks about her story)

Also, empathetic, feminist and understanding men make me w*t. 

"Yes," he says, a smile tugging at his lips, "Yes, you did." I sEE YOU 

"I don't know what goes through that fantastical imagination of yours” This might be my favorite line ever

“But you don't move one inch. Because you know Jungkook better than that.” Aaaawwwwwwww

Chapter 10 :

This is some greek tragedy shit right here. Mijoo trying to push OC and Jk because she feels guilty about JImin (she way you write it makes it seem so believable but I can’t decide if it’s true or not because we are seeing Oc’s perspective here and she knows she actually crushed on Jimin while Mijoo doesn’t, which would be a huge factor in her pushing OC towards JK) and also because she is the only one with a brain? Oc refusing to believe it and opposing semi-logical semi-bullshit arguments to convince Mijoo and even more herself that this isn’t happening because she heard JK talking to Hyejin ? Jk saying that because he’s an insecure asshole (and also very probably because of his ex girlfriend wink wink) whilst acting like the most belated man, ever ? Na a TRAGEDY!!!!!

Also, the entire speech that Mijoo gives, everything she says ???? A punch to the GUTS! ! ! 

THEY NEVER UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER THEY CONSTANTLY THINK THE WRONG THING I WANT TO TIE THEM TO A CHAIR AND FORCE THEM TO ACTUALLY COMMUNICATE THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (in a oh god HOW are they going to fix this and finally come to an understanding of each other kind of way)

He finally breathes when she says his name I’m :(((((((((

“it wasn’t fun” Love how this simple line implies that Mijoo and Jimin have problems and arguments of their own and makes them feel like human beings who have a life outside of the story.

“Or was your image of him so perfect and unrealistic that you couldn't tolerate these humanizing details?" Ouch!

"You're only pushing Jungkook on me to ease your guilt for stealing Jimin away from me!" I don’t have the words to explain the way I felt when I first read this line except : oh fuck. Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps.

"I like him," you abruptly confess, your soft voice breaking through the tense silence the same way the brilliant meteors abruptly burst across the darkness of night. "I like him so much." Masterpiece 

“It's equally horrifying and an absolute relief to finally admit this deeply harbored secret after so long. After all these months of repression, it feels like a dam has burst with the way your emotions come tumbling out, threatening to choke you and sweep you underwater.” I said MASTERPIECE ! !

“Mijoo," you gasp, "What do I do?" Im crying. This isn’t a figure of speech. This isn’t an exaggeration. I’m crying. This entire scene is so powerful 

“You know your role. You're just the side character—the best friend or comic relief. You have no right to even dream about a life by Jungkook's side—much less to feel this amount of pain and jealousy seeing him with another girl” .... talk about being relatable 

“The loud electronic beat is pulsing through your veins with the same painful intensity of the tequila beating against the soft tissue of your brain. You feel like you’re being consumed by the powerful sensations… and yet, it's not enough to protect you from the helpless thoughts drifting across your mind, no matter how much you try to ward them back.” You really shine when it comes to making me cry 

"Can't you just let me be petty and sulk for once?" Baby :(

“How could you have misinterpreted the situation so horrifically?” Well we have this saying in French that goes : love makes you fucking blind 

“At this point of night, the moon has fully risen overhead, and its silvery rays cast down across the ocean, illuminating everything in white-gold. Awed, you can't help admiring the way the moonbeams kiss the top of Jungkook's black hair and the angles of his face, sheathing his figure like a cold halo.The waves continue to beat against the sandy beach like clockwork, and you  sway with them, as though lost in a rhythmic dance lulled by the force of the moon. Your thundering pulse acts as a metronome in this dance, pounding away at a dozen beats per each drag across the shore. You are cold. So cold that you've lost all feeling in your hands and legs. But for some reason, you don't feel the need to shiver anymore.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Could it have possibly been a defense mechanism? Was he just trying to protect himself in advance?” We are making PROGRESS

"Why is everything about sex with you?" HE SAID! AS IF HE WANS’T ABOUT TO DO WHAT HE IS AVOUT TO DO AND MAKE IT ABOUT SEX I HATE THIS MF

Chapter 11 :

My heart is non existent.The way Oc swallows her feelings to protect Yerin and stands up for her ❤️

I want to thank you for introducing a gay character in your story also Yoongi is one of the most interesting character in the story.

The way everything is slowly coming to a conclusion and every piece of the puzzle settles in the right place is so damn satisfying UGH

The scene where OC confronts Jk is so fucking satisfying, a masterpiece, 10/10, everything I wanted to hear come out of her mouth, my girl knows what’s up and won’t let this fucker get away with it.

"I've told you since day one that I'm not that kind of guy. God, can you even imagine me in a relationship?" he says with a derisive snort that feels like a punch to your stomach, "Did you honestly think that you could trap me into one with sex, ___? Or with a kiss? Come on. Get real." Your insecurities are showing asshole

"I hope you get over this soon, ___," he tells you in a sincere tone, "So we can get back to the way things were." Fight me in a parking lot salopard de merde

“Well, at least you've learned your lesson now.” I had to take a pause after this part 

"What if they were my parents?" he asks in a quiet voice, "My siblings? My community back home? The people I love most in this world? What would you have me do then?" As a closeted bisexual this one hit close to home

“But Yoongi turns to you with an incredulous look, "You can't be serious. Anyone with eyes could tell that Kook is completely whipped for you. Where is this coming from?” Yoongi is my man 

"You're a fucking coward." My thoughts exactly

Chapter 12 :

Getting through this chapter without crying is genuinely hard..All the girls standing up for themselves and not taking shit for the shitty men in their lives ???? YES PLEAse. And thank you for not only that but also including the girls that the story pushed us not to like that much up until now like Hyejin and Somin when really they were going through the same things as the holy trinity of best girls OC, Mijoo and Yerin. 

I have… mixed feelings and I feel like these feelings are exactly what OC has been feeling all along with the conflict between her beliefs and her heart. I wanted them to go through this and by being « willing » JK would have eventually just realized everything and stuff  because I love romance and shit. But I also want OC to get what she deserves, and it’s not that. I want them to have this happy ever after end but I feel like we won’t get that before long because as Hyejin pointed out, JK clearly needs to grow the fuck up.

"Oh, ___," she sighs your name.” Don’t mind me I’ll be crying over there 

“For a split second, you consider feigning ignorance. It would be so damn easy to laugh along with him and continue living this lie of being the cool, sporty tomboy who doesn't care about stupid "girly" things. After all, Hoseok isn't a bad guy. He's so handsome, popular, and kind. And he likes you. Someone actually likes you. Isn't that better than being alone? For a split second, you're tempted to grab his hand and flash him an award-winning smile. For a split second, you contemplate giving up all your morals and living a life of comfort with this lovely, charismatic man.” I love you so much for writing this

"Sexist?" he repeats in horror, "The fuck are you talking about?! I'm no sexist!" You’ve perfectly channeled the  and OC’s entire speech to him should be taught in school 

"We're just in different places right now," you inform him in a small voice, "It'll never work out, so please don't make this harder than it needs to be." I’m dying but also proud, producing

"I think I'll channel Somin and cut the toxicity out of my life." Attagirl 

To wrap up this overly long review, I want to say thank you to Tayegi for writing this piece and feeling generous enough to share it with us, reading this story and seeing the plot unravel, characters be introduced and developed was a true privilege. I rarely connect with the « reader » in reader fics and just say a random name in my head (or even 'your name ») but here, here… Never have I been so close to actually feeling like I’m the one in the fiction, not for the romance but for the way she is portrayed, for her ideas and how hard it is to stand by them sometimes, for her past and traumas. New rules is a masterpiece, and the fact that I connected to it on such a personal level, which, arguably could cloud my judgement, doesn’t make it any less.

[xmoonlitxdreamx]

Zero Escape rambling/opinions under the cut

I'm not really super involved in the ZE fandom these days, but is sigma/luna generally seen as controversial...? It's hard fpr me to gauge ppl's opinions in the fandom idk... I never played ZTD so i really kinda percieved them to be a potential romance (w the "i love klim" password, luna ending where she holds Sigma & it's revealed he gave her the necklace, also sigma's weird "flirting" w her which i personally wasn't always a fan of but that's another topic).... idk it never read as familial to me so even tho i know canonically ztd sigma says "luna's like a daughter to me" i just.... dont really buy that or put that into account at all when I draw them, I kinda just ignore that....

like i guess it can be imagined as me drawing from a timeline where sigma doesn't develop a familial relationship with luna? I mostly draw them w luna having romantic feelings for him, and sigma having a mix of lingering sentimental feelings for diana/romance in general + soft affection for luna... idk i know i just said i ship them but even then i kinda draw them w sigma trying to keep things platonic between them given the situation, but he does also maybe have some sort of underlying romantic feelings for her. Idk that's just my take on them, kinda not very articulate or clear rn sorry;;

Even with never playing ZTD I personally didn't like how they handled Sigma's plot and stuff so a lot of the game just doesn't feel canon to me & I don't apply to my drawings of the characters;; Honestly some of the decisions made between vlr and ztd just baffle me like if Sigma and Phi are father & daughter, why would they make 22-year-old Sigma make weird passes/comments about her in vlr.... like i think before ztd was released uchikoshi had been like "i dont view sigma and phi romantically for reasons that will be explained later, don't view them like that" in an interview & im like.... you could have avoided ppl seeing them like that if you didn't write sigma making weird comments about phi in vlr...... idk i never viewed phi and sigma romantically while playing & mostly saw them as friends who insulted each other a lot, but i also wondered like maybe they're supposed to be a pairing or something?? So it was just weird for me to learn that in ztd "oh sigma's actually phi's dad" and "oh sigma actually sees luna as his daugter" when it seemed like vlr was implying otherwise...

(again i dont ship sigma/phi and personally never saw them romantically in vlr... I do think it's weird that they made sigma flirt (?) w phi in vlr & think they should've been more careful abt how they handled their dialogue given that they are revealed to be father and daughter.)

Anyway idk, a lot of sigma's character and relationships w other characters is just so weirdly written.... like i know most ppl dont like him for making gross comments abt the girls in vlr and i agree... i think there are ways to write horny characters (or even just characters that find a lot of ppl attractive) without having to make them make a lot of gross comments at people... it's like annoying to me that there's all this weird stuff surrounding him when I really liked a lot of his other characterization (like being kinda a goofy idiot but smart at the same time, his instinct to just trust ppl immediately, his kinda surprising earnestness despite seeming like a self-centered douchebag sndnnxj).

I guess the point is... i like and draw sigma/luna (mostly college au bc post-vlr is kinda complicated) bc i basically ignore a lot of what goes on in ztd and am able to detach myself enough from the game given that ive never played it, but also if it makes ppl uncomfortable truly I do understand that bc he does canonically say he thinks of her as a daughter.... I really really dont see them like that tho so anytime i draw them please know it's not as a father-daughter relationship;;

I don't draw them much anymore but like if it does make most ppl uncomfortable i don't mind not posting what I draw, or like making a tag for them for ppl to block... idk. This is basically a non-issue bc i really haven't drawn sigluna in a while... but i do also want to eventually finish that comic i was working on last year, which kind of has sigluna themes (tho the conclusion is why things can't work between them tbh sjnxndnn idk in post-vlr timeline i kinda hc no endgame romance for sigma... hence why i ship him w so many ppl in my weird college au LMAO;;)

Anyway yeah. Idk what else to say here, there's not really a point to this post just kinda blabbing... might delete later bc i hate having opinions on things jsncndnjc

SIGH in conclusion i think uchikoshi did sigma dirty lmao.....

[beccasfm]

𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐦. 𝐜𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞. 𝐬𝐡𝐞/𝐡𝐞𝐫.  ／  𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐜𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐮𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐢 𝐛𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐚𝐧  — 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 ! 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰, 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲-𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫, 𝐢’𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲’𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐟, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐭 𝐛𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐢𝐟 𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦, 𝐢’𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐩𝐢𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐬, 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫-𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬, 𝐫𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐧 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬. 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞’𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 !

                          𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕪 𝕞𝕠𝕠𝕟. 𝟚𝟜. 𝕖𝕤𝕥. 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕪/𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕞.

what’s up friends! first off: i’m moon, i’m a Certified Mess™ and this is my baby becca. it’s my first time playing her in a group, and i’ve tried to pin down some career claims that best represent her but there will be a couple tweaks so pls bare with me ?? that being said, on an out of character note… i’m very nice but salty trash. 99% gay. crazy energy. there’s prolly a tiktok of me passed out in a deep freezer somewhere bc i can’t control myself. i LOVE to talk 2 talk so come into my dms if u ever wanna hc and scream into oblivion. now, onto the actual important stuff:

𝕤 𝕥 𝕒 𝕥 𝕚 𝕤 𝕥 𝕚 𝕔 𝕤 , 

𝗙𝗨𝗟𝗟 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘: becca park. 𝗡𝗜𝗖𝗞𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘(𝗦): b, bec, becks, basically anything! 𝗔𝗚𝗘: twenty-one. 𝗕𝗜𝗥𝗧𝗛𝗗𝗔𝗬: february 23rd. 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥: cis female. 𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗡𝗢𝗨𝗡𝗦: she/her 𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗖 𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: panromantic. ( closeted ) 𝗦𝗘𝗫𝗨𝗔𝗟 𝗢𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: pansexual. ( closeted ) 𝗛𝗘𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧: 5′5 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗔𝗟 𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗡𝗠𝗘𝗡𝗧: neutral good. 𝗠𝗕𝗧𝗜: infp. 𝗛𝗢𝗚𝗪𝗔𝗥𝗧𝗦 𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗦𝗘: hufflepuff. 𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗜𝗧𝗦: kind, gentle, hardworking, spineless, fearful, devoted, loyal, intelligent, adaptable, cautious.

𝕓 𝕒 𝕔 𝕜 𝕘 𝕣 𝕠 𝕦 𝕟 𝕕 ,

growing up on the set of a beloved family sitcom wasn’t a typical childhood, but it’s one becca is quite fond of considering the track record of child starlets and how they feel about their pasts. if you asked becca now, in private, she might say she wishes she had a time machine to go back to when she’d be eating sandwiches with her co-stars on set and doing the homework her private tutor had laid out for her between takes.

*( pls note i claimed both full house / boy meets world and that’s because becca’s show/history stretches from age 5 to her teen years, the timeline didn’t really add up but use ur imagination pls i did the best i could.. )

she grows up in front of a camera and absolutely loves it. acting is where she’s meant to be, even if it’s sitcom material. it’s good for her age, lighthearted, and she has surprisingly supportive people around her. she works maybe more than a kid should, but she finds that’s her default preference, and sitting alone for too long makes her restless. the show itself has quite the cult following and the diehard fans accumulate over the years. by the time becca is in her teens and social media is booming, her and her co-star are thrust into the spotlight. it’s all sweet, fun and games, becca now having a platform to get familiar with the fans she loves so much. the show’s success not only makes up her childhood, but the childhood of so many others, and something about that becomes irreplaceable to her.

however, all good things must come to an end. when she’s going on seventeen, the show is finally cancelled, the last episode finally giving viewers what they wanted: a happy ending for becca’s character and her co-star’s, the ship that had been over a decade in the making. cameras cut, lights off, and suddenly the team that was once so supportive of her is nowhere to be seen.

becca is desperate not to fall out. 

they tell her there’s not much room for her in the acting world, that having such a household name under her belt means people won’t associate her with anything else, and her team convinces her to give up on acting entirely. becca is crushed, but understands ( sort of ), and even if acting is where her heart is, she listens to ‘ what’s best for her ’.

thus, her pop career starts. it’s the formula for every washed up childstar, but becca is determined to make things work. she might not have the best pipes in the business or the most refined writing skills, but she has heart, and she will do anything she sets her mind to, anything it takes to be seen as good. so she puts triple the hours in the dance studio, recording studio, practices writing songs every day, does her scales until it finally clicks. her fans take to her well enough and becca doesn’t disappear long enough to be forgotten about. instead, she re-emerges as BECCA, all caps for her stage name, and re-invents herself to keep her claws in hollywood.

still, the rising fame in the cutthroat industry, especially as a teenage girl, is quite terrible. suddenly she goes from the beloved sweetheart of everyone’s favorite sitcom to a real popstar, someone that dates, someone that goes out, someone that’s seen in the spotlight. and as much as she’s praised, she’s scrutinized. for someone that takes criticism hard, it’s her biggest challenge yet.

rather than succumbing to the trainwreck trope, becca does the opposite. she keeps doing her yoga, rarely if ever drinks in public, always has a smile on, dates in private, dodges all potential scandals to keep the focus on her music and off her personal life. and so far, it’s working, but for someone that’s singing pop music written by everyone else instead of acting in front of a camera, how long can she keep it up?

𝕡 𝕖 𝕣 𝕤 𝕠 𝕟 𝕒 𝕝 𝕚 𝕥 𝕪 ,

at her core, becca is a kind, loyal and just person. she cares deeply for other people and finds it hard to cope with the immense pressure and materialism of the industry she works in at times. she hopes one day to return to acting, but growing up surrounded by opinions older and bigger than hers, she’s quite used to doing what she’s told.

she has a hard time trusting herself with choosing what’s good for her. instead, she listens to the opinions of others. she puts a lot of weight on it, and can come across as spineless. an industry puppet. she’s on stage dancing and singing, but her heart is somewhere else. still, it doesn’t stop her from putting everything else she has into it.

even when it’s something she doesn’t particularly want, becca is nothing but grateful. she works until she sweats and until she has blisters. she is nothing if not persistent. everything is done graciously, because becca doesn’t do much, if anything, out of spite.

at times it can all come crashing in on her, though. for someone that cares a lot about what people think, having ten million people look your way constantly can be overwhelming. she’s naturally introverted and leans on this during these times. lots of time at home with her cats, watching films, baking, hiding away from the world.

becca doesn’t date or party in public because she’s so intensely afraid of scandal or judgement. that doesn’t stop her from going out, but she’s more likely to hold the purses and help get someone home than she is to dance on a table. still, she avoids judging anyone herself. she worries for everyone else, and only wants to see the people around her succeed.

𝕨 𝕒 𝕟 𝕥 𝕖 𝕕  𝕔 𝕠 𝕟 𝕟 𝕖 𝕔 𝕥 𝕚 𝕠 𝕟 𝕤 ,

good influence. perhaps another pop singer that helps her out, works as a confidante, someone she asks tips of and helps her get into something she’s not fully adjusted to yet. ‘don’t play that venue, it sucks’ typa friend.

ride or die. someone that’s known her since her good ol’ tv days and has stuck by her. someone she tells all her secrets to, someone that she confides in with her secret of not really wanting to do music at all. basically, they’d tell each other everything and keep it under lock and key.

enemies. maybe a rival? it could be new, perhaps an award show slip up, or an old enemy from her tv days. it could be a two-way street, purely online beef, or some mutual dislike through the grapevine.

her personal mess. someone that’s messy as hell that becca takes care of. she gets them home after a wild night, or comes in to do damage control before any paps get a view of what’s happening. she helps protect them and their image.

friends turned sour. despite her kind nature, becca can easily be accused of living a lie or being inauthentic. someone that was once her friend but can’t stand her inability to tell people no, or do what she really wants. 

jump off the trainwreck. since she’s so obsessed with her image, perhaps she could have an enemy that was someone she abandoned after a scandal? the ‘i can’t associate with you’ type thing because it brings headlines, and they aren’t fond that she lets the media get in the way of their relationship. could be a platonic one or a romantic one.

behind closed doors. someone she’s seeing but refuses to tell anyone about because she’s afraid what people will think, or doesn’t want to be scrutinized for it. the other muse could either agree, or be frustrated with their situation.

shout out to my ex. maybe they dated and either they write a song about becca that goes viral or vice versa. names may not be named, but there’s tons of speculation by fans and there’s definitely some tension / drama about who and what it’s fully about, but maybe only they know!

and of course, any exes, hookups, casual friends, etc. are up for grabs !

[wellanthropologicallyspeaking]

trigger warning // abusive parents, emotional abuse

i might be one of only a few people who have been thru the experience of loving and trusting a parent(s) their whole lives, and in a matter of months have that trust utterly broken and the love that you felt for them lost.

context is, long story summarized, my mom put me thru a very tramuatic experience last year (on christmas no less) when she basically said she “disowned me as her child”. i cried and cried and the whole thing was horrible, she just shouted so much while my dad begged her to stop and calm down, and he tried to calm me down too and brought me food afterwards.

the context for this was basically, the christmas tree that i was decorating for hours the night before had fallen when i was downstairs looking for an extension cord, and its falling broke one of the ornaments from my childhood that i had painted myself while in kindergarten/first grade. it was so heckin pretty and i was so proud of it and hoenstly when i saw i broke, along with a few other beloved ornaments, i broke down.

december last year was filled with all kinds of shit that led me deeper and deeper ino my depression, and this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. while we cleaned up the tree with me sobbing intensely, my mom was all “i told you this would happen !!! you should have done what i said !!!” THAT’S what you say to your CRYING CHILD (i’m 20 but still im her child and you would expect a person to be more compassionate towards THEIR KID)??? instead of seeing that they’re obviously upset. this made me fucking pissed and i just stormed to my room, and declared that im not celebrating christmas this year. my mom forced me and coereced me to have christmas dinner, but i slipped away with a turkey leg and bread into my room, while she was fucking pissed in the other room.

the next day, we had the horrible aforemention argument, where we went over the christmas canceling thing and me not wanting to celebrate, but my mom also went on the thing that i didn’t want to take her vitamins anymore, and she was fucking pissed at me for that.

now, that makes no sense, but i have pretty bad acne, and my mom has *taken it upon herself* to treat my acne herself, even though i kept telling i didn’t want or ask for her help, but she’d just insult me and force/blackmail me to take them. this went on for over a year, and it sounds horrible on its own, but it actually didn’t change my opinion of her until last december.

her argument was “because you’re not taking the vitamins i gave you, it means 1) you want to ruin your skin permanenly (and she goes on about ONE lady she knows who has bad acne scars who i’ve never even met) 2) you want to HURT ME EMOTIONALLY because i worry about you and you having horrible skin makes me feel bad (this sounds kinda emphathetic from her side of things but trust me, the way she meant it felt more like im some kind of experiement to her who she needs to fix and when she can’t “fix” me, she feels bad instead of ever considering MY FEELINGS)”

anyways that whole load of bullshit resulted in me arguing with her, and eventually led to her threatening to disown me while i sat sobbing so fucking uncontrollably, which i think was the only time since maybe i was a baby that i had ever cried so much and so hard. she eventually said, in not so many words, fuck you and im disowning you, while i was left shattered in a pool of my own tears.

it took me WEEKS to recover from the emotional turmoil that experience brought me, and i could never look her in the eye again.

about a month later, my dad would end up driving me to college instead of my mom (bc im a 20 year old american who still doesn’t know how to drive whoops) and over the months of the semester, he’d share things about how bad this lawsuit is that my mom’s waging against our neighbor (wholeeee other kettle of fish that i won’t get into here) and how it was stressing him out and using up precious time, money, and energy that he had. he also mentioned the whole lawsuit cost 40K to manage up to that point, bc my parents had been doing it for about 5 years and that’s the total sum it cost over those 5 years. i was fucking shocked bc, i remeber years back even BEFORE the lawsuit when i saw my mom google “free colleges” for me to attend when i’d graduate, bc she said college “was too expensive”. i mean yea that’s true but there’s a good college here that i want to go to that’s 6K a year?? like if you add it up, my time at college would cost LESS than the 40K wasted on this lawsuit AND we’d deffo have money left over for house repairs, of which our house needs a million. but nah, my mom’s priorities is that we need to waste 40K on a lawsuit for a plot of land on our drive way the size of a desk. size of a DESK. im not fucking kidding here, i wish i was bc its so ridiculous.

then later i learned that my mother (who i already knew had disowned her first daughter, what a shocker) had as a sort of “punishment” to her first daughter, aka my half sister, to take her piece of their apartment back that is in Russia. my dad said we could compromise on the money and get about 50K to pay for the downpayment for our house here, but my mom was s u r e she could “win” her case and get 300K for her share, which my dad said was near impossible and could put my half sister and her family in danger, bc apparently money handling in russia is risky business and people get killed for that sorta money.

my mother didn’t give a shit. about the actual reality of the situaion or the pain/danger she was putting my sister and her family thru. she could shit a turd and give more of a shit about that than her own daughter.

anyways all this and more that i learned, as well as the trauma she put me thru in december, made me open my eyes to the monster i had truly been living with. i finally learned how horrible, twisted, selfish, and cold blooded she was, and knew she could never have held any love for me. the mother i had known my whole life was a lie, and that lie shattered before my eyes.

this went on far too long (probably bc it shows i need therapy ahahaha i still haven’t dealt with this have i) but the message i want to share here is, if you’ve been in a situation where your parents have turned out to not be the person you thought they were, and the love you felt for them and the trust you had in them had shattered overnight, i want to say i know how you feel.

when that happens, everything that was normal with your parent(s) becomes abnomal. you go to share with them something you’re excited about, but you realize you can’t. you think about that yearly event you both go to but realize you can never go together again. it might not even be because they won’t allow it (my mom has “forgiven” me and thinks we’re alright again, as if december was “nothing”) but because you know in your heart that the person you did those things with is gone. they were really never there to begin with, because the whole thing was an act and the traumatic expriences you went thru made you see their true colors. and you see that their true colors are ugly as fuck.

those pauses when you realize that you can’t ever be the same around your parent as you once was, those times when you’re forever locked up to them because you won’t allow them in, when you feel guilty that you haven’t forgiven them and that its somehow your duty as their child to forgive them, i’m not here to say that you should open up, but that you should not open up to them. don’t ever feel like you are obligated to open up to them or “forgive” them. they hurt you and they broke your trust and made you experience horrible trauma that’s hard to come back from. just because they’re your family doesn’t mean you must forgive them.

there’s this societal norm that we’re surrounded by that in order to overcome and deal with trauma, you have to forgive the people who hurt you. in my opinion, i think that couldn’t be farther from the truth. if you are a person who finds it easist to deal with their pain by forgiving those who hurt you, i’m not bashing you; more power to you for being able to forgive, especially when i can’t do the same. however, forgiveness is touted as this “cure all” that people should use to forgive everyone who’s ever hurt you. that cannot be true because what works for one person does not necessarily work for the next. one person may be able to deal with their trauma with forgiveness, and another person cannot do the same. i believe that you shouldn’t have to forgive those who hurt you, especially when you don’t feel strong enough to or feel any love/trust in them after they’ve hurt you. i can accept that what happened, happened, and that what my mother did to me happened, and that it affected me terribly and left me with emotional scars that will be hard to heal from, but i cannot call her my mom anymore or forgive her for what she did to me.

i do feel tinges of guilt sometimes because, i think, of this societal norm that you should forgive everyone, and i feel that coming from my place as a daughter, that i have some obligation to forgive my mother based on what society tells you. you may feel the same too, that you feel guilty for not forgiving your family and that if you were a better person you would forgive them. im here to say that that’s bullshit. you may feel guilty for not forgiving your family but that’s not some sign that you actually should forgive them or that you deeply down want to forgive them, it just means that you feel guilt because of what society has drilled into you. its okay to feel guilty about not forgiving your family and still not forgive them at the same time !! i feel like this sometimes, but i still know that the trauma my mother put me thru and the lies i uncovered about her make me realize that i can never forgive her. if you’re not emotionally strong enough to forgive someone, if you don’t feel the same love or trust in someone as you once did and so are unable to forgive them, i just want to say, its okay not to forgive them !! this isn’t some kind of contest that you have to win, you don’t have to feel like you’re a weak or bad person for not forgiving someone, bc our ways for coping with trauma are all different !!

in my opinion, i think trying to forgive or keep people in your life who are obviously terrible is not healthy in the long run. my mom is still doing the shitty things that are similar to what i described earlier, and i now know that she’s still just the same horrible, selfish, cold blooded person she always was; she was just under a mask. me forgiving her or tolerating her now won’t magically turn her into a good mom !! she’ll always be shitty and its healthier for me to just cut her out of my life as much as i can (while im still living at home with both that parents, and me being unable to drive, that is proving very difficult). it’s just better to cut out toxic people from your life and surround yourself with healthy people who will help you grow and thrive. it’s kinda like what marie kondo says,

(yea im an organizing nut but her book has really helped me organize the house, and i think organizing is kinda my coping mechanism, i spent so much time after december doing a full rehaul of the house that i had never done before, because i think i wanted to regain control of my life in some part as a way to cope for all the shit i went thru)

you should only keep things (or people) that “spark joy”. anything or anyone that doesn’t “spark joy” for you, you’re allowed to remove from your life : )

[chillincucumber]

OOOONH SHITTT OH MY GOD

GIL SLAPPED THE FUCK OUT OF AVA AHHHHHHH

The TEA IS PIPPING HOT TODAY (i just read it lmao). Wow, there so much goin on, this is exciting. Cause idk about u but avas really said some stuff. And gil is a stupid bitch.

Like damn, Gil literally within the past hour, saw a man die and the aftermath of Avas potion rampage. Not only that but my dude saw her admist her fighting with Six surrounded by the ashes of followers. I wouldnt blame gil for thinking Ava some sort of killer monster. She is a legit stranger to him, just cause he patched her up doesnt mean theyre friends, much less does Gil owe her anything. Cause Ava literally ruined Gils life.

And yall gotta understand that the slap that Ava got, in my opinion is well deserved on Gils part. Imagine all that work you put into your education, all that hope and purpose in life, to be snatched away by one person. And then for them to shit on it and tell you that ALL the followers deserve to die, and that they would have killed you too, just like your idol. And on top if that your main support system like poofed away and not knowing if theyre okay, all im saying is tht slap is worth it. And even if we know that Titans army is some fucked up shit, Gil doesn't know that. We as the readers and as outside ppl know more than the characters. And i bet if yall were in the same situation, youd react just the same or similar. I would for that matter.

Ava in this particular moment, is the 'villian'. But! If Ava were the one in the beginning, we wouldn't have this development and story progression. Her rage i feel will propell the story to go forward, i feel that its key in her character development. Bc, even when someone is "blinded by rage", you have to admit that sometimes what they say is what they really feel deep down. I feel in this instance, all the affects from Wrathia and Titan have made Gil the prime subject to unload this anger on. And i also feel she puts some blame on Gil for her horrible experience in that machine too. (I would too. Maybe also blame him for what came next)

BUT!! gil is the type to deny deny deny anything tht goes against him. He is loyal to a fault. On some level he knows that Titan has to crack a few eggs to "help" other people. If Tiran truly wanted peace, why are the followers armed with guns? Gil chooses to be blind and Ava knows this. Gil violently reacts when Ava calls him out on Titan being a criminal by Gils standards. Gil wants to stay ignorant on some subconscious level. He doesnt wnt to accept the reality Ava has told him, or the parts that Maggie has told him either ( being separated from their family at such a young age, and being sent to a whole other planet). Ava is the contradiction and truth he doesnt want.

Cause like damn, at that point HOW CAN YOU NOT BELIEVE AVA!! Gil has all the facts and proof right in front if him and all the shit he needs to give purpose back to his already shitty life. (Imagine finding out youre a janitor and not a doctor after all those years of studying, damn id kill myself and revolt against the system. But knowing Gil, hed be "Titan has a plan for me~!") id be pissed as fuck if i were ava too! Like really bitch, you not gonna believe me after all this. Right after Nevy revealed she knows Wrathia. And then having Gil lash out out of anger and not being able to do anything, but rip up what he knows made Nevy freak out and turn to sea foam, and literally deny everything he just saw?

Like,,, you really cant take sides! I could write a fuckin thesis on how valid and invalid these two are. But imma just put my initial thoughts. Ava and Gil are both teens who have lost their livelihoods within a matter of days and hours, and honestly, this whole arguement is so fuckin realistic and wonderful. Theyre grey characters with theirr own brains, and i thank Michelle for fleshing out these characters! Phenomenal job on character building and development.

And im waiting until the gravity of Ava killing people settles in forreal. And im waiting for the reality and questioning of Titans motives and actions Gil will go through. I feel like Odin will be the one to ask Ava about her thoughts, and Maggie will go to Gil and ask. At this point Gil already has a feeling Maggie knows what Ava is talking about. And he doesnt even trust her anymore after she got outed!! The one person i think Gil would trust the most is maybe Odin. Odin has been the only real character with Gil. He put his distatse for Titan, and didnt entertain Gil in the least. He owned up to his being on the fringes of society. Odin hasnt lied to Gil directly (as i could remember). Odin is really here for the ride, and feel like hes gonna be like tht for a while.

[thismads]

                                                                                                                                                        @thishail

 HELLO BABY, you saw that coming right? you knew this whole thing was going to come up at some point right?? OKAY I hope you are okay, that you grabbed a coffee, Chinese,pizza,chocolate, anything you love just like i did with skittles lmao..because I tried to not be too long but I can’t promise you anything because there’s so much to say about you that I'll let my hands/heart/soul guide me haha..so take a sit and appreciate me being cheesy pleaseeee. 

(this gif is the perfect one hahaha)

(us being happy around each other)

Okay so it’s only 19:20 and I’m beginning this cause it might take a while hahaha. And I actually make it right and perfect..even tho I’ll never be as perfect as you are but WHO CARES? I put ur playlist on, so you’re with me so LET’S DO THIS (cheesy mood activated so be ready to cry..just kidding SMILE BEAUTY) 

(us on vacation)

First of all .. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE LOVE OF MY LIFE !! Tell them it’s her birthday, tell ‘em souljah boy, tell em hahaha, omg who knew this day would be that important to me last year around the same time.. like this is crazy how life goes. I hope you’ll have a beautiful day surrounded with your loved ones bcus you deserve it. But for now..let’s go back to the time we met alright?? 

It was in late October, early November this past year.. I was this girl talking to everyone & you came back after being gone for a while (still have no clue why you came back but bless this thought) I was the only one replying in the instant bc I was like oh a Selena anon..let’s do this. And despite a few delete posts..we always made one for each other bc we actually noticed we didn’t talk and somehow..we both missed it even tho we weren’t THAT close. I don’t know when it began to be strong.. we spend more and more time being on at the same time bc LAME asf lmao. THEN, we became this popular kid squad LMAO idk why..but if it’s bc we showed love to each other..then okay we are lmao. But I’m thankful for everything..bcus actually..we took time to learn who we really were..and we took time to appreciate our numerous common points…and our different ones. You were, are, will always be THE meeting I’ve had in years in a social media..and why? Well because of all those.

(us being happy around each other)

You are so down to earth..I think that’s one of the main reason why I Love You, you never search to be someone you are not, you don’t care about people’s past, you concentrate on knowing them in their « now » and that’s remarkable, you are so real, you are like speaking the truth all the time, you are the one I go to for advices, because I value your opinion like I’ve rarely did in my life, everything that you say is true, you respect the lines, you don’t ask much, you are like a rock we can hold on to whenever we are down or up. I had laughs with you I’ll cherish until I die. 

You are also so sweet..but like the sweetest person I’ve ever had the chance to meet. You are like a cloud, so light, your voice is like the cutest/smoothest ever, you know some people are like invasive..you actually make ME wanna share things with you, you know..EVERY TIME I feel sad, down, something happened, someone letting me down..I tell you first..and you’re actually the only I tell things like on the instant, and some thing I know I’ll share only with you because ..idk I want to. I don’t think we are able to explain how deeply we love people..because it’s beyond words, it’s feelings. 

you’re so funny/awkward as I am, that’s why we get along so freaking well, you understand me when I don’t know what to say, you get me whenever my typo let me down.. You are like « I got you babe » and this is like the most overwhelming message ever because you actually don’t force yourself, you just know, when I don’t even I feel bad you are like « are you okay » and it makes me asking the question to myself and I’m like dang she is right I ain’t okay lmao. You are also hilarious, we have fun about everything

you are like a second mom to me, you care if I go to bed late, if I eat, if I shower, if anything hahaha, you make me smile, happy ALL THE DAMN TIME DAMN. 

I don’t think you realize how amazing you are, because you truly are a gem.

You are also so intimate, like I share inside jokes, we understand each other in a blink of an eye, we most of the time share the same opinion on things, people.. NOT NAMING THEM BUT YANNOOO WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT LMAOO. And this contribute to my daily joy and happiness all day every day. 

You are so caring, adorable, beautiful inside and outside (YES GIRL YOU BOMB ASS GREEK FACE HAHA) CAN YOU BELIEVE I’M ALSO 10% GREEK? LMAO THAT’S SOOO ODD BUT YET IT’S FATE IGHT?? IGHT. So that makes us sisters for like even tho we don’t need no other confirmations that we are, we for sure were separated at birth haha 😂, you are incredible, you are such a deep person, the one we can have serious and deep convo with, because you know things, you aren’t just a paper, you are a whole ass book and that makes all the difference. 

we have so much things to accomplish like; 

TATOOS ! (And some in common) 

MATCHING PLAYLIST (DONE ✅) 

DRIVING FOR HOURS WITH OUR PLAYLISTS ON

TRAVELLING

LIVING IN LA

GIRLS NIGHT WITH HORROR MOVIES AND JUNK FOOD

TANNING IN THE POOL & GRAB A STARBUCKS ON VENICE BEACH

All those things are like a dream to me, and I’m really hoping we can achieve every one of them in a life time. Because what’s better than living with her bff in her dream city & doing all the youth things they are supposed to do, I wanna go to Coachella listening to Theweeknd, beyoncé, and all the rad music that comes on, I wanna take pics with Hailey,Kendall, Demi, Abel, fucking everyone & you because that goal?? I wanna have a job in front of the ocean, were we can work and then go relax on the beach next to the safe house. I wanna buy a life guard hoodie, spend my afternoon shopping In vintage shops, then go to VS and make fun of the body goals of the angels, I wanna buy clothes to match my fresh tan, I wanna be in the front sit with you for hours on the highway not having anytwhere to go go to Disney world, I wanna go to universal and do this movie set tour where we could take pics of the Friend’s couch, I wanna take polaroids of us having fun. I wanna go to Las Vegas and play to this money machine, I wanna grab a burger where I’ll have to order for you because such a baby. I CANT WAIT FOR THIS TO HAPPEN, because that’s where I’ll be truly happy.

(us being our dumbass self)

I also wanna meet you so freaking bad because this is like goal? Cause having a bff that live miles away from you is like nooooot the best thing ever even tho I’m sure you love me for me. V -> Vulnerable, because you have your insecurities that makes me wanna protect you at all cost like you do for me

I -> Irreplaceable, I couldn’t forget you nor replace you with someone else 

C -> Cute !! You’re the cutest human, always THAT thing to say and make the whole world so freaking happy

K -> Kind .. you never anything and anyone for granted, you always have a nice advice, you encourage me, you make me believe in myself, you make me wanna be a good person and be happy

Y -> youth, because you remind of all always the dreams and all the goal I wanna achieve and that’s the ultimate thing about a friendship

ALL THIS to say thank you..thank you for being the person that you are, thank you for the time by your side, thank you for your time, your energy wasted on a person like me, thank you for making me believing in me, thank you for reminding me that I’m not thaaaaat crazy and that what I’m feeling is real, thank you for the kindness of your words and the wiseness of your state of mind, thank you for trusting me into letting me know the real you, thank you because, thanks to you I like myself even more step by step, thank you for NEVER letting me down, you never left me in a split of sec, thank you for being also a tough ball, you are so strong despite your high anxiety that I'll try to light up when we’ll be together, thank you for letting me maturate to your contact, thank you for being here, alive, safe and sound, that you for blessing me with ur angel face, your princess attitude and your bff’s actions. Thank you for everything you did for me, and that’s not our first year meeting yet, and I feel like you did twice more than my longest time friend, so thank you. I love you more than I could ever wish to love someone. I could never thank you enough, but I promise you to be the best version of myself for ya. 

More than bff, more like soulmates..again happy birthday babygirl ! May all your wishes come true and all your dreams being achieved, and I’m gonna make sure to always stay by your side no matter what, because the person I’m the most loyal to here is you and I’d chose you over EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING. I love you angel to my princess. 

To the Hailey to my Kendall, forever

[secondchanceda2-blog]

alright so. rant below the cut about the k.aylee drama bc. i have nowhere else to do this publicly and i have shit to say.

the more i think about my friendship with kaylee, the more obvious it becomes that it was toxic and just all around Bad. like it didn’t exactly have a stellar start. when i first made my laurens last summer, i accidentally broke her rule about duplicates asking before they follow ( a rule i adopted in january this year, iirc ) and she immediately vague posted abt it. and i, being the person i am ( read: somebody who hates fucking up and is desperate to make amends when i do ), unfollowed her asap and then sent an ask apologizing. what followed was a very short conversation abt the situation and that was that for a few days. then we ended up playing cah together in a game set up by a mutual of us both ( idk who it was anymore, rip ) and like, bonded over a shared hatred for jokes about laurens and turtles. then we talked and followed each other and. after that, we very quickly became close friends and she introduced me to a lot of ppl who i befriended too ( i’m still friends with a few of those ppl, the true mvps of my gd life ).

then everything just. became sort of a whirlwind? like it all happened so fucking fast. between july and january, kaylee and i were in no less than eight group chats together, all of which were fairly large ( the biggest had smth like twelve ppl in it at one point and the smallest had five; and there was one group chat that lasted until fairly recently, like the end of last month, but she rarely, if ever, said anything in it ). a lot of shit went down in those group chats, most notably the shit talking that got both her and i in trouble with former friends of ours. and while i genuinely feel really horrible about what happened and i’m just disgusted with myself, i don’t know if the same can be said for kaylee? like the more i think about it, a lot of the apologies she made really seem like she was just trying to keep herself on ppl’s good sides. but like, i can only speak for myself and i have no fucking idea how she feels about the shit that happened. maybe she does feel guilty, maybe she doesn’t. i don’t know and i probably never will.

and it’s like. i always knew she wasn’t a nice person. it made me a little uneasy at first but once we started talking and became friends, i got used to how aggressive and opinionated she is about. well, everything. and though there were definitely times when i disagreed with her about something or was uncomfortable with stuff she was doing, i never said anything because i wanted her to keep liking me. she was the first person who made me feel welcome and accepted in the ham rpc and it was through my association with her that i got my footing and was able to gain followers and friends. besides that, she provided me with tons of resources for my blog, like base icons and a theme and i got to talk to a lot about my headcanons for laurens with her ( and others too, of course, but in the end i would always go to kaylee first if i had something i needed / wanted input on ). so the part of me that still had any unease about the situation was quickly dismissed and ignored. even when drama happened and i ended up being involved because of kaylee, i never like. blamed her for anything that happened. i was so convinced that she was right and i treated her word like law, almost.

when the call out about the first shit talking incident was posted, kaylee and i went to our friend ( who was / is friends with the person who wrote that call out ) and tried talking to her about the situation. she said she didn’t want to pick a side and we should just let it pass. ( in hindsight, she was absolutely right ----- when drama happens, if you can avoid picking a side that’s always the best thing to do ). but kaylee didn’t like that response and i personally felt like she wasn’t hearing us out about the situation. so when kaylee decided to drop her, i did too. and i mean, i don’t necessarily regret dropping that particular friend but i do regret the circumstances surrounding the situation because it was all just. immensely fucked. and there are other friends i ended up losing ( only temporarily in these other cases, but still ) because of other drama that ended up happening and i just. i feel so fucking guilty about everything i did. if i could take it all back, i would in a goddamn heartbeat. but i can’t and now i have to live with the knowledge that i fucked up really horribly more than once and there’s no fixing some of what happened. there’s trust i’ll never be able to get back, people who will probably never give me another chance ( and i wouldn’t fucking blame them bc. yikes @ me! ), and.

i wish i had realized sooner how manipulative and fucked up kaylee is. i wish i’d been able to see how negatively influenced i was by her words, actions, and general behavior. i wish i hadn’t ignored the initial warnings and gotten myself away from her immediately. but i didn’t. i was ( and still am, i guess ) so desperate for positive reinforcement and to be liked that whenever somebody gives me that i latch onto them and hang on for dear fucking life. and i have such a hard time letting go of toxic people ----- i hold grudges for years on end and allow my anger to fester. i’m doing that right fucking now, as i type this. anger is the only emotion i really know how to deal with ( and not necessarily in healthy ways ). but honestly? i’m so sick of all this shit. i’m tired of being manipulated, of getting in way over my head, of making stupid decisions and mistakes that only end up making my life worse. this situation with kaylee is just another one like countless others i’ve experienced, though i think this might be the worst one yet ( excluding some personal family issues ). and i hope me and everyone else who got sucked into kaylee’s web will be able to move past this shit and heal. we all fucking deserve it.

[yumikoflare]

wowie this is a loooong meme - thanks for the tag @wildricebear more like wild loser bear...........

Rules: Answer all questions and tag 20 people. (putting it under the cut bc it’s 100+ questions!)

1. What is your nickname? i go by yumi! my rl nickname has the same amount of letters 🤔

2. What is your zodiac sign? aqua sun / scorp moon

3. What is your favorite book series? not gonna lie i havent read any book series in a looong time but my fav manga series is fukigen na mononokean!

4. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? ofc, i believe in both!

5. Who is your favorite author? errr i honestly don’t have one ahaha but sunrisesongs has some reaaaally nice poetry if that counts

6. What is your current favorite song? rn i’m a huuuge fan of kenshi yonezu’s suna no wakusei, namely the soramafu cover!

7. What is your favorite word? uhh don’t have one.. but the word ‘warmth’ has always struck a chord in me?

8. What was the last song you listened to? i think it was ra ra rasputin b/c someone at band was playing it on his phone LOL

9. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? i don’t watch tv oops  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ can’t think of anime recs either smhhh

10. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? i don’t watch movies if i’m feeling down but i remember enjoying the intern?

11. Do you play video games? mmm a little bit.. i play overwatch and sometimes osu and ive played a couple of mmorpgs here and there 

12. What is your biggest fear? losing my purpose and passion

13. What is your best quality, in your opinion? i’m a good friend! i think that counts

14. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? my lack of patience and intolerance to trials

15. What is your favorite season? winter!!!!!!

16. Are you in a relationship? nah

17. What is something you miss from your childhood? honestly? i don’t miss much in particular from my childhood other than that Sweet Naive Bliss™ because things have been getting better in my life since then so

18. Who is your best friend? nizh, swirl, mari, gil, noah, sam, laura, kayla come to mind

19. What is your eye color? dark brown

20. What is your hair color? dark brown

21. Who is someone you love? all my friends...........

22. Who is someone you trust? the friends i listed earlier!!!

23. Who is someone you think about often? honestly as of recently myself bc im working on bettering myself LOL but other than that, i think of noah kinda often?

24. Are you currently excited about/for something? uuuuhhhh not particularly

25. What is your biggest obsession? currently overwatch

26. What was your favorite TV show as a child? probably spongebob aldsakdsla

27. Do you have any unusual phobias? mmmmmm not sure but my anxiety makes a lot of small things scary so

28. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? both!!!!

29. What is your favorite hobby? honestly not sure... i like writing but recently i’ve been very into photo and video editing so!!!

30. What was the last book you read? probably the hiding place

31. What was the last movie you watched? goosebumps i think? watched it at home w/ my mom bc she hadnt seen it before

32. What musical instruments do you play, if any? [[[the sound of me, panicked, aggressively slamming my mallets into a timpani can be heard in the distance]]]

33. What is your favorite animal? dogs.... i love dogs

34. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? hm i rly like yamiiino, kaiami, tofuvi, star-plasma, and zandraart!

35. What superpower do you wish you had? healing factor!!!

36. When and where do you feel most at peace? idk, whenever really, surrounded in my closest friends; either that or doing something i love alone

37. What makes you smile? my friends...... also getting praised......

38. What sports do you play, if any? FUNNY JOKE i cant sports

39. What is your favorite drink? hell....... i love lots of different types of teas (black, green, jasmine, honey, etc) and im also a sucker for matcha... and i also like ice blended drinks... and (virgin bc im underage) mojitos.... and smoothies.......... fdgkjkdf i love drinks a lot ok

40. Are you afraid of heights? yes 10000%

41. What is your biggest pet peeve? close-mindedness and intolerance to other ppl/ideas/etc + having to waste resources

42. Have you ever been to a concert? only one! was a mayday parade concert earlier this year

43. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? like everything LOL a singer and an author were prob my biggest ones tho

44. What fictional world would you like to live in? HONESTLY the fukigen na mononokean world would be cool to live in... 

45. What is something you worry about? i simultaneously really like and dread band asdlsakdas

46. Are you scared of the dark? yup orz

47. Do you like to sing? heck yea!!!! singing is so good.....

48. Have you ever skipped school? no bc im a goody two-shoes™ 

49. What is your favorite place on the planet? i dunno! i don’t have one! the world’s so big there’s so many places i still have yet to go!!!

50. Where would you like to live? honestly idk i’m happy with where i am now LOL

51. Do you have any pets? i wish......... i want a doggo so bad but my sister and i are allergic

52. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? i don’t feel like either but i’m closer to a night owl

53. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? both..... the sky is a goddess and im in love with her.....

54. Do you know how to drive? i’m an anxious minor who is too afraid to get near the wheel LOL

55. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones bc earbuds always fall outta my ears and its a Pain

56. Have you ever had braces? nope B)

57. What is your favorite genre of music? ummmmm i don’t have a fav bc i’m kinda flexible but i like alt rock? and j-rock/j-pop?

58. Who is your hero? to be completely honest idk if i have one LOL im my own hero™ B))))

59. Do you read comic books? nah

60. What makes you the most angry? probably the same as #41 as well as like myself?? bc i get frustrated with myself v often and that concept makes me angry asdsa;ldas

61. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? nizh wrote “i like real books but i’m so lazy that i’m more likely to read digital” and i am in agreement

62. What is your favorite subject in school? errrrrrrrr i suppose la? but i’m abt to enter some new classes and learn under totally new teachers so idk it’s bound to change!

63. Do you have any siblings? ye, one older sister

64. What was the last thing you bought? a flowy cardigan from yesterday!!!! im lov it.... i might post a pic of it

65. How tall are you? 5′1′’ and 3/8 sdfkjsdijeiwjeje

66. Can you cook? yo i wish..................

67. What are three things that you love? my friends, music, food/drinks LOL

68. What are three things that you hate? same as #41 and a third thing would prob be conflict?? idk

69. What is your sexual orientation? as far as i know i experience no sexual attraction (asexual) and i experience romantic attraction to anyone and everyone (panromantic) so!

70. Where do you currently live? socal

71. Who was the last person you texted? probably nizh

72. When was the last time you cried? mmmm maybe a week or two ago... i cant recall exactly when so thats good

73. Who is your favorite YouTuber? oooohhh.. im super mainstream but i love arikadou LOL also zylbrad, seagull, and etika

74. Do you like to take selfies? i do! i usually only take selfies like every once in awhile when im feeling cute and when i do i take A Lot

75. What is your favorite app? i lov line camera?? also google photos makes things mucho convenient

76. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? tbh i find my relationship with my parents to be closer than a lot of my friends’ so :0

77. What is your favorite foreign accent? i dunno! french accents are pretty cool

78. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? japan! also the philippines

79. What is your favorite number? idk but i like 5 and 8

80. Do you find outer space of the deep ocean to be more interesting? both freak me out but the ocean is pretty interesting

81. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? not in the slightest LOLOL

82. Are you allergic to anything? intolerant to eggs, pretty allergic to any type of nuts so that sucks, n i got those Seasonal Allergies

83. Can you wiggle your ears? NO I HAVENT READ HARRY POTTER

84. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? umm idk how often LOL whenever i think im wrong..?? which is somewhat frequently?

85. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? forests are lovely

86. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? honestly idk......... i remember my dad said smth about how you don’t always have to forgive everyone and by saying ‘it’s okay’ permits the other person to repeat the same action, so i choose my words rly carefully now bc of that :o

87. Are you a good liar? kinda half n half... depends on what i’m lying abt

88. What is your Hogwarts House? iiiiii forgot but it was either ravenclaw or hufflepuff... mightve been the former

89. Do you talk to yourself? YEAH especially when i’m practicing music or video editing

90. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? introvert

91. Do you keep a journal/diary? as of very recently yes bc my therapist recommended me to do so :0

92. Do you believe in second chances? usually in most circumstances

93. Do you believe that people are capable of change? oh yeah definitely, anyone is capable of change, it just depends on their attitude towards it

94. Are you ticklish? yes i hate it

95. Have you ever been on a plane? yep, to san francisco and sacramento and i guess once to texas but that was before i could remember so

96. Do you have any piercings? nope and i don’t rly want any tbh

97. What fictional character do you wish was real? i have nooo idea there’s a lot of thought i’d have to put into this question LOL

98. Do you have any tattoos? nah but if i did they’d be veeeery simplistic

99. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? probably when i decided 1-2 years ago that i wanted to get my life back on track so i could become a person i could love and ive been making progress little by little ever since then

100. Do you believe in karma? mmmmm not reaaallyyyy..... like maybe a little bit but

101. Do you wear glasses or contacts? its ya girl almost legally blind and wearing contacts

102. Do you want children? not sure yet but probably

103. Who is the smartest person you know? no clue omg there are lots of smart ppl in this world

104. What is your most embarrassing memory? sometime in grade school i was sitting at the edge of a playground slide pleading for my friend not to push me down bc i rly had to pee but she did and i literally just pissed all over the slide and we just stared at each other for a long time and that was just........ Very Bad - I HAVE ANOTHER BAD MEMORY THOUGH it wasnt even long ago kill me??? i was at my friend’s house for dinner and her parents asked what my sister was studying and my sister just recently got into college and i had a veeeeeeeery vague grasp on what she was studying so i literally said ‘food and tectonics’ and i wanNA MCDIE BC I MEANT DIETETICS NOT T E C T O N I C S

105. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? mmm not a real one.. most ive done is stayed up til 6amish with nizh before goin to sleep  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ like i’m definitely capable of doing it i just don’t want to

106. What color are most of your clothes? dunno? i have a fairly colorful wardrobe but i almost always wear something w/ black if i’m not going for an all light outfit

107. Do you like adventures? depends on where to bc im very cautious LOL

108. Have you ever been on TV? nope

109. How old are you? how old is ur moM!! dab dab haha xd

110. What is your favorite quote? one of my favs is “there are no happy endings, endings are the saddest part, so just give me a happy middle and a very happy start” by shel silverstein; i have a few others but thats the first that comes to mind

111. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory tbhhhh

112. Have your friends ever badly disapponted you? umm not badly but ive been mildly disappointed by a few LOL

113. What is your favorite scent? that clean/fresh linen smell?? and also lavender and then light stuff like eucalyptus mint

114. Random fact you know? the duck-billed platypus can’t keep its eyes open underwater, so it finds its prey by using sensors in its bill that detect electrical impulses n then they strike! theyre pretty cool animals..

115. What is your opinion on long distance relationships? nizh said “hard. just, really hard. not sure if it’s worth it” and i also agree

IT IS OVER wow ok 20 ppl is kind of a lot and this is a loooot of questions so im only gonna tag a tiny bit of ppl (dont have to do it if u dont wanna!): @dunmerhealer | @aftertaste-of-memes | @inspiringnokias yeah that’s it LOL this is just Hella Long so idk how many ppl would be up for doin this so ye  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯