#real talk though has a course like this ever actually helped anyone before?

[caitas-cooing]

All those how to be successful in work and school courses are all the same and none of them are actually that helpful imho

[planetxiao]

# REAL LOVE, BABY!

𖤐 sakura haruka ; togame jo ; kaji ren x reader

⟢ fluff, scenarios // random instances with them that feel like real love to you and him.

𖤐 SAKURA HARUKA

All it took was a misstep on uneven ground for you to twist your ankle. Of all the things that could’ve taken you out, it was a spot in the sidewalk that was all broken up. Regardless, it hurt like hell to walk on, and as luck would have it, you have a somewhat willing boyfriend to help you out in any way you need it.

With blushing cheeks, you’re hoisted onto his back easily. Your arms came to rest around his neck, a small smile forming on your lips. Sakura carried on with one destination in mind: Kotoha’s cafe in hopes that she has the means to care for your injury. His gaze remained on the street in front of him, though it would shift back to you every once in a while. However sneaky he thought he was being, you caught every glance sent your way.

“I’m sorry Sakura,” You laughed bashfully, “I hope I’m not too heavy.”

“D-Don’t get the wrong idea! It’s just faster this way!” He sputtered out, averting his eyes to the dull pavement on his right to try to hide his burning cheeks once again, and grumbled quietly, “Can’t even feel you on me anyway.”

You giggled to yourself at his antics, ever the most easily embarrassed. His poor attempt at hiding the colored tinge of his skin gave you instead a view of Sakura that was your favorite. The rosy pink complemented his pale skin in a beautiful way, heterochromatic eyes acting as a perfect accent to a most delicately painted picture. You couldn’t imagine anyone matching up to how pretty Sakura Haruka looked right now.

You laid your head on his shoulder, honeyed gaze lingering on him alone.

“Thank you.” You whispered.

Sakura felt his heart skip a beat at how close your voice sounded in his ear. Your very existence did nothing but permanently leave him red. With a stutter in his step, Sakura scoffed.

“Don’t thank me. It’s my fault you got hurt.”

You huffed. “Sakura, I’m going to flick you.”

“Hah?!”

Sakura furrowed his brow with an incredulous look. Was this a challenge? What did he even do?

“Stop talking like that or I’m going to flick you hard!”

That time, he turned his head to bark something back, but his words caught in his throat as soon as his eyes connected with yours. Your face was mere inches from his. He wasn’t expecting your lips to be so close to his, to see the little details of your irises, to feel the heat radiating from your skin. His hard expression melted into a flustered one with a quiet gasp, eyes widened and mouth fallen agape. He was quick to turn his head away again.

Your lips curled. Your tough boyfriend was just too cute for this world.

𖤐 TOGAME JO

“You always pay, ‘game! C’mon, it’s my turn!”

Togame acted blissfully ‘unaware’ of your claim, not even sparing you a glance as he swiped snacks from your hand. You gawked at the action. He totally brushed you off. The only sign that he heard you was the playful glint yellowed by his colored glasses.

Oho, okay. He wanted to play games with you, huh? Well, you weren’t going to turn down this challenge. Not without a fight, at least.

You’d just have to beat him to pulling out the change. Easier said than done, considering your boyfriend’s brute strength. But you were determined. He paid for you both every time you guys went out — he never let you, anyway — and you just wanted to pay this one time.

With Togame’s hands full of the snacks, you pulled out your wallet and tried to do the math on the total before you both reached the counter. Togame wasn’t oblivious to your antics, nor did you think he was, but he wasn’t going to try to stop you. He really just found it amusing — cute, even.

Togame set your items down on the counter before resting his hands in his pockets. You glanced at him quizzically. He wasn’t going to try to do anything…? Was he actually going to let you pay?

Of course not.

Once the total was given and you were about to hand the change to the cashier, a toned body shoved between you and the counter. Your eyes stared at the lion emblem on the back of the man currently body blocking you from the cashier, taking a second to process what had just happened.

You jumped to the other side of your boyfriend, trying to thrust the change at the cashier as fast as possible, but Togame’s body shifted in a way that pushed you away again. You jumped back to the right side, and again his body shifted to block you.

“Togame Jo, move!” You exclaimed, bouncing back to the left.

Blocked.

“Oi, stop moving,” He laughed, “It’s making it hard to count the coins.”

Oh, you could hit him.

You glanced up at the cashier to see them snickering at your attempts. You huffed. Trying to fight Togame was an uphill battle you were not winning.

Though you continued trying to slip the change through his constant guarding, the cashier ended up taking Togame’s coins instead of yours. He wore an easy smile on his face as he took the bag of goodies from the counter. You stared in both defeat and a bit of annoyance that you couldn’t best your boyfriend in a battle of strength. All because you wanted to pay this time around.

Togame patted your head, emerald eyes crinkling behind his yellow lenses.

“C’mon, the boys are waiting for us.”

You vowed to get him next time.

𖤐 KAJI REN

Static muffled the music playing from the speaker just above your head, making the melody barely decipherable amongst the bustle of the busy cafe. The dishes you both ordered had yet to come due to the sheer volume of customers surrounding you. Apparently, there was a new special being offered that drew in a crowd from all across town. You had no idea. When you asked if Kaji knew, he simply shrugged. You had somehow managed to accidentally pick the most crowded cafe on their busiest day. What luck you have.

The waiting game was no easy feat when you were hungry, but neither of you minded too much. Your head came to rest on Kaji’s shoulder in the meantime, causing the blond haired boy to tense up a bit. Kaji still wasn’t fully comfortable with public affection, but small things like that he was learning to get used to. But only a little bit. 

You stole glances at Kaji – well, you tried to, at least. The first glance up at him, you had been met with his very same gaze, which was averted after a blink or two. It left you both with slightly burning cheeks. The second and third you managed to sneak were successful, and you were able to take in his pretty features: smooth, pale skin; deep blue irises that rippled with something akin to curiosity; soft pink lips which held a lollipop stick between them.

A small smile graced your face. Kaji had no idea just how pretty he was, and every time you told him, red would stain his cheeks and the tips of his ears. You closed your eyes, trying to remember a picture of him like that. The song playing over the speaker seeped into your mind, though, and with strained ears, you barely recognized it. It was a simple little tune that played on the radio from time to time. It wasn’t anything special, but it reminded you of something you’ve been meaning to show Kaji.

You sprung up with a blooming grin. Kaji jumped.

“Can I see your phone?”

Kaji furrowed his brow but pulled the device out of his pocket and gave it to you. You excitedly took it from his hands, typed in the password and found his music app.

“There’s a song that I think you’ll really like. I forgot who it’s by, but it’s right up your alley.”

You pressed play before he could really register what you had said. Before Kaji even moved his hands, his headphones were being pulled over his ears. How you were able to swiftly do all of that in a matter of 45 seconds flustered him.

“Hey, wait–! Stop-”

And then everything froze. At least, that’s how it felt to Kaji. He halted his protests as soon as he saw the alluring curl of your lips. It drew him in like a siren to a sailor, insatiably with a promise to show him things he’s only dreamed of. The twinkle of loving anticipation in your eyes made his heart jump in his chest. Even though Kaji had never heard this song before, he swore that the sight of you before him made the melody sound that much softer.

An unknowing smile softened Kaji’s face, causing yours to grow wider.

“You like it, right? I knew you’d love it!”

Kaji blinked away the trance he was under with wide eyes. Pink tinged his skin as his heart rate began to climb. All he could do to distract from his embarrassment was poke your forehead lightly.

I love you, idiot.

note: i don’t know if you can tell but i love kaji <33 also YEAHHH MOTHE’S COMEBACK LETS GOOO!!! big shoutout to koi ( @dear-koi ) for helping me with these!! you’re the best

[beuxwhoyouare]

Generational Trauma

Jiāháo was an unremarkable man by conventional means. Him and his parents fled to the U.S. when they were younger amid constant turmoil in Taiwan and nearby China. They fled to give him a future but they were still conventional in their values growing up. So Jiāháo grew up with their expectations in mind. Despite an intrigue in both men and women, his parents were quick to shut that down every time the brought up his future. condensing bisexuality to being gay. Making it seem like being bi was no real way to attain a future and the American "dream".

Coasting to make them happy he did what they expected and married the first nice church girl he was introduced to and had 3 kids. But living with other people's expectations is a recipe for disaster.

Despite a mediocre and equally unremarkable marriage, Jiāháo loved his kids. His 2 princesses, Nikki and Nina, were 12 years old, while his son, Noel, was 21 and living the life Jiāháo thought he would have once he got to America. You see, even though Noel never told his father, Jiāháo could tell he took after him in the bisexuality department always flirting with his friends at all ages. Always talking about the idea of boyfriends and girlfriends. Sparking a jealousy in Jiāháo.

That jealousy manifested into a nearly internalized biphobia. Jiāháo found himself hypocritically always at odds with Noel for his openness. As they say generational trauma is a cycle of abuse.

To the plain eye, Noel had a few things nearly anyone would be jealous of in all reality.

Unlike his father, Noel WAS conventionally attractive and had a personality to match. A charismatic energy that so many people gravitated towards, Noel was a star soccer player growing up that allotted him the chance to go to college for it. He studied rehabilitation science to become an occupational therapist and help people recover. A career path that essentially demanded he himself keep in shape if he didn't go pro for soccer.

Brains, brawns, and a face card that was hard to say no to, Noel took advantage growing up. Even if his family didn't always know it, he dated boys and girls his whole life. A long-term girlfriend broke up with him after 3 years of dating at uni, further fueling his drive to get into better shape than ever. Anytime he made his way home his family definitely noticed, Jiāháo being among the most jealous.

Walking around the house in tiny and revealing pieces of clothing illustrated a body earned by years of hard work. Jiāháo thought that should be me.

The family regularly made annual trips to Taiwan to visit the homeland but Jiāháo and his estranged wife did little to actually teach their children Taiwanese mandarin. His wife went out to the markets with their 2 daughters, leaving him and Noel to have a father-son day. Jiāháo wanted to be seen as the cool parent to Noel so much and the two went clothes shopping before Noel began to beg for a tattoo.

Almost as if it was fate a shop appeared around the corner from where the two were walking. A man approached the pair and asked in Mandarin if they were interested in a traditional tattoo for a discount if they both got one. Jiāháo thought it had to be a sign and said yes.

The man told the pair about traditional Paiwan tattoos that represented honor and dignity but told them his work has more meaning and even magic behind it. Of course the whole conversation was taking place in a language Noel didn't understand. He took reaction cues from his father who remained engaged in the whole story. Jiāháo got his tattoo along his back and spine, a rather edgy decision but he knew it'd be easy to hid at work and from his wife. Right as Noel was set to begin his in a similar section, the tattoo artist turned to Jiāháo.

"我知道你想要什麼。我在你的刺青上施了咒語，可以在他身上完成它。如果我這樣做，你就能得到你一直想要的東西。有機會過你應得的生活"

Shocked Jiāháo couldn't believe what he was hearing. What did he mean that he put a spell in his tattoo? What did he mean that he knows what Jiāháo wanted? It felt like time froze as he contemplated all his questions. Almost as if he heard his inner thoughts, the artist spoke looking back and forth at us both.

"我所需要的只是你兒子同意。你?"

Jiāháo froze again, a feeling of sinking setting into his stomach. Almost as if his gutteral response was speaking for itself, Jiāháo answered affirmatively and nodded at his son to do the same. Noel had no clue what was going on and naively said yes.

The session eventually ended and the pair walked away with their newest tattoos. Noel thought his father was the coolest dad ever after the bonding experience, but he couldn't even fathom that his father's selfish desires would soon ruin that perception of him.

A huge storm his the town that night and both men struggled through major pains and aches, both attributing it to major food poisoning. And when the pain felt like it reached a point neither could stomach anymore they both passed out.

The next morning, Jiāháo fumbled out of his bed and clumsily navigated his way to the restroom. He did it all groggily with his eyes nearly shut before grabbing a nearby shacket and walking out to go get a coffee or something to drink.

At the nearby convenience store he got a drink and paid before heading out to come back to the hotel. A young girl passed by and began to ask him for his number because she thought he was so cute. As Jiāháo answered it felt like the reply fumbled out as clumsily as he did flopping out of bed in the morning. Before he could muster out that he was married to the girl he caught his reflection in a nearby window.

Surely he was still sleeping or dreaming? He stopped his reply and ran back to the hotel. Running into the lobby like a mess, he found the closest restroom to find a mirror and confirm what he saw.

Noel's charming and stunning face stared back at him with nearly 80% less enthusiasm than he was currently feeling. He poked, prodded, and finished off by slapping himself across the face. Confirming this was happening. The artist was telling the truth. There was magic in that tattoo ink.

But that magic came with unspoken rules. Jiāháo wanted to check on the real Noel, but everytime he tried to pull his phone out to text him or call he couldn't muster the sentence to come out. Unbeknownst to him, the magic would not let either of them speak about what took place. Neither could say the swap happened or act any more way converse to the way they did before.

Jiāháo walked back into the hotel room to find his family dressed and ready to go out to eat. He saw his old body there ready but also with a hidden panic behind his eyes. It was an uneven trade in reality, Noel lost decades of his life and was forced to go through a miserably mediocre marriage. But Jiāháo got a chance to live the bisexual life he always wanted.

Noel was gutted. The family eventually flew back to the US and Jiāháo was forced to go back to uni and finish his degree as the magic made him, eventually both were forced to also find solace in their new lives. But speculation can only be had as to why a relatively young father like "Jiāháo" died randomly one day. But "Noel" knew the truth, his "father" died from sadness of the life he now lost.

Its another traumatic incident that once again fueled the new Noel to find solace in the gym. Like "he" had so often before, getting fit helped the heartthrob get through major trauma. Maybe generational trauma doesn't have to be a cycle. He picked up his phone and continued to plan his hookup for the night. Thank god for the genes he "inherited" from his ancestors that got him here.

[inhuman-obey-me]

The End Times

Well, here we are. The final lessons have been released, all in a flurry. It's been interesting times, y'all.

JK, they said the world of OM will continue, and we're not going away either. We still love our demonic dumbasses. This is, however, the last lesson of the apps. And, uh, we didn't talk about the last 3 before this either, considering the flurry.

So, maybe for one last time: let's get into it.

(spoilers up to NB Lesson 60)

Nightbringer

The first thing to address here, perhaps, is truly: for splitting off a whole ass second app titled Nightbringer, they really didn't tell us anything about him in the end, huh!

We never did get the answers to what he wanted out of our second set of pacts, what his deal with Solomon was, what his overall goals are, or who he even is. He just showed up, we got some early info on him, and then he basically fucked off for the majority of season 2 and basically all of season 3. At least they did end on a nice little message from him, though, echoing the start of the game...

So will we eventually get the answer to ANY of those major questions? The world may never know...

A Celestial Shitshow

What we do get, first, is the resolution of the whole Raphael arc of this season -- at least, the closest they could come to giving us a resolution.

We do not get a precise answer to what he felt or thought in the moment of Michael refusing to even try to appeal to Father on Simeon's behalf, which he was seemingly so unable to confront at the end of 55. However, after the collapse of Babel, Lucifer and Simeon go to talk to him again, more calmly this time.

The source of Raphael's distress comes down to loneliness. Like Simeon, he remarks how quiet it became in the Celestial Realm when the brothers, apparently the only loudmouth troublemakers that ever existed there, fell after the war. With the possibility of Simeon also becoming a demon, Raphael felt incredibly lonely at the thought of losing another former seraph and friend from the Celestial Realm.

Luke comes up to chime in about being there for Raphael, and Simeon realizes he doesn't want to just leave those "two kids" alone to fend for themselves. With that decided, he concludes that he is not so fine with becoming a demon after all, because he wants to return to the Celestial Realm for their sakes.

MC, with the help of Lucifer's power, then breaks through Babel's projection of collapse, which had reflected Raphael's distraught feelings, to restore it to its actual not-destroyed state, and further uses their new protection powers to return everyone to the Devildom. More on that later!

Also, Michael is a dick again. Raphael is set to be punished for the whole Babel thing, and Michael basically plans to let that happen, until Simeon threatens to "hold it against him" as a grudge. Which is hilarious, because Simeon has no real power or anything against Michael at this point, but angy Simeon is so scary, Michael apparently backs off.

Anyway, setting all the all of that aside, there's also still more SF to get through.

Three Worlds-building Science

In the process of restoring Babel, MC and Lucifer conveniently also remove all the demonic powers/energy from Simeon, so that works out nicely! He's no longer "demonic." However, of course, this couldn't just be such a nice simple wrap-up as that, so next, we get a whole bunch of lore-contradictory worldbuilding around the way cells work for each type of being!

It turns out, while angels and demons both have homogenous cells which are purely one or the other, human cells can actually transform into either one, in the right conditions. And although all demonic energy has been cleared out of Simeon, he apparently still has some of those transformed demonic cells, and it's possible he will have his demonic cells activate or start to transform again in the future. Plus, even with his decision that he wanted to return to the Celestial Realm after all, it's not really in anyone's control out of the cast to do that for him, and the Celestial Realm would not allow him back if he has any demonic cells.

This brings up some pretty terrible implications about the Celestial Realm, which we're not sure were the devs' intentions exactly, but which become implied nonetheless. After all, Simeon's punishment was to become a human, but if it's a known fact that humans can turn demonic and they would refuse to take him back with any demonic cells, even dormant ones, that's just a really shitty trap of a situation! Plus, they were able to convert his cells from angelic ones to human ones, so if they have the ability to change him at a cellular level, why can't they just purge the demonic cells from him in the process of changing him back to an angel? Lucifer has specifically noted before on his transformation to a demon that he supposed that was his punishment, so that also seems to have been a punishment inflicted by God, implying the ability to also manipulate the brothers at a cellular level into demons! And if human cells can become angel ones as well, what does that mean for Simeon's punishment of becoming human? Could the punishment be undercut by his cells naturally turning back to angel cells? Come on, devs, it's called consistency!!

But hey, it's not like this series has been particularly consistent on its lore in the past either...

Anyway, the Science Fair is still going on -- and Leviathan has a mad scientist moment, coming across a unique potion that could help with restoring Simeon back to a more fully human state, ridding his body of any dormant demonic cells! The problem is it requires three very rare and hard to procure ingredients, but it turns out Solomon had also thought about this potion a while back, so he conveniently already has two of the three rare ingredients! Part of the reason Solomon never brought it up before, however, is that the potion only has a 60% success rate and is known to have some pretty bad side effects including the briefest mention of possibly even death???, and with how complicated Simeon's feelings had been up to this point, it didn't feel like there had been a good time to bring all that up.

Deciding that Simeon can decide for himself if he wants to take the risk after the potion is ready, we have a little adventure to obtain the third ingredient that places us back in the Starfall, which we visited during our time in the past. We momentarily have to avoid the subject of the past as Leviathan recalls that you were there, but is brushed off as misremembering because that wouldn't make sense, after all! Haha...ha...

Leviathan makes the potion for the Science Fair, and then Lucifer and MC keep Simeon company while he takes it. Simeon begins to succumb to the potion's effects pretty quickly, but Lucifer steps in to try and take the pain from Simeon and transfer it to him -- with MC then also stepping in to help share it. Simeon ends up not suffering as much, but is still knocked out with a fever for a bit.

Upon waking from his fever and analysis of his cells and some other genetic science, Simeon has now returned to his fully human state, meaning that he should be able to get back to the Celestial Realm! -- if they'll have him.

The end of the game seems to initially imply that he might be reinstated as an angel -- but the very last text we see is that Simeon will be opening up the Angel's Halo again in the human world. So is Simeon still a human? Did he become an angel again but they have him stationed in the human world?? No clear answer!!! Why would they ever end the final lesson on giving us any clear conclusions? Nope, never, and so here we are with no more lessons and yet another big fuckin' cliffhanger.

Well, they did say there are new projects in progress, at least...

Anyway, Later is Now

So, back to MC and how overpowered we've become.

Through this last season, there has been a focus on how much stronger MC has become, especially when it comes to their protective/defensive magic. We know it's because of the double-pacts, but that is a secret from most of the cast to avoid space-time fuckery.

In Babel, MC is able to control this magic for the first time. As mentioned above, we use our pact with Lucifer to break out of the illusion created by Raphael's breakdown, which also clears Simeon of his demonic energy. MC then uses their power, with some guidance by Solomon, to get out of Babel and return everyone to the Devildom.

That's a great sign, as otherwise MC has had zero control over this power activating. Of course, that means we have to use it one last time as the game comes to an end -- but this time, on the moon.

That's right. The Devildom moon is really into MC and is on a crash course to the Devildom (hi Majora's Mask) to also get some of that sweet, sweet MC power. Our cast gets thrust into having to deal with the situation as the final Science Fair competition, because the Research Institute is basically giving them the responsibility (with the House of Lords being ridiculous and not getting the news to Diavolo faster because, um, they suck).

Satan wonders if MC's protection power can be used here and stop the moon on its crash course, so of course that is what we are going to do. Solomon leads you up into the sky, and after a pep talk, leaves you to choose one of the brothers to help carry out this mission. Whichever brother you choose ends up getting knocked out in the process, to protect you. After a few days, we find out how to wake them back up and yay, they're conscious again!

With that handled, it's time for the classic OM tradition, throwing a goodbye party for the exchange students!! PARTY TIME! Everything's good now! Hurray!!!

Does this all seem rushed? Sure. Does it reek of them hurrying to tie up loose ends because this is the last lesson? Yup. How much of this was actually planned in this messy rushed way from the start anyway? Who knows! Did they also leave us on that big Simeon cliffhanger anyway, for funsies? Abso-fucking-lutely.

But that's it for the last 4 lessons! After 5 years, finally, MC has completed all of their tasks...congrats to us!!! 🥹

Now to wait for whatever new projects are coming next...

[moonsgemini]

cherry wine pt. 3 - firefighter!rafe

* ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ₊˚ ⋅

summary: After a couple weeks you & Rafe finally get to see each other again. He invites you over & makes you dinner & you know the perfect way to thank him. Of course it only ignites the mutual obsession.

warning: firefighter!rafe x teacher!reader, fem reader, fluff, two people obsessed with each other, oral (m. rec), dirty talk, rafe being sexy

an: hi! sorry this took so long & it’s on the shorter side. I promise the next part will come much sooner. Ugh I feel like this isn’t my best work. Also this can kinda be read as a stand alone.

masterlist ★ part one - part two

* ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ੈ✩‧₊˚༺☆༻*ੈ✩‧₊˚ ✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩ ₊˚ ⋅

It had been a couple weeks since your first date with Rafe and since then you’d seen each other a couple times sporadically. It was only ever for a few minutes though. He’d be just getting off a sixteen hour shift and meeting you for ice cream or you’d stop by the station and drop off baked goods. His busy schedule and yours didn’t allow for much free time.

Occasionally he’d leave treats at your front door before he went off to work. A hot coffee and a muffin or a scone to help you get through the day. Sometimes even a small bouquet of flowers and a cute note, that particularly made your heart flutter.

The two of you texted practically all day, sometimes he’d call you on his way home if it wasn’t too late and you weren’t lesson planning or grading. It was nice to not feel so obligated to see someone you were dating every day.

At least you think you guys are dating. Actually you don’t know what the two of you are doing. You wouldn’t consider one date to be dating. But every thing since then has felt so much like dating.

He wasn’t shy about letting you know how much he liked you in turn neither were you. He was the first guy to not make you feel embarrassed about your over flowing feelings.

When he let you know that he had a few days off coming up you made sure to get as much work done before then. Yeah you did like the idea of still having your space but you couldn’t deny that you missed him. Plus trying to catch up on lesson plans, grading, and parent conferences all week had run you ragged. You could use some alone time with a hot firefighter.

The thought of seeing him again made those butterflies flutter. It may be possible that you actually had missed him a lot. Not only had you missed his smile, jokes, and his attentiveness but you also missed his mouth and his hands. The smell of his cologne made you want to lick him.

What he had done to you the last time you’d seen each other replayed in your head whenever you had a spare moment. You hadn’t felt so wanted in so long that having him just wanting to taste you and being satisfied with that made you all the more desperate for him. He was truly the first real man you’d been with and you can’t even imagine what he’d be like during sex.

Rafe invited you over to his place so he could make you dinner. From what you had told him he could tell you had a long busy week. He made sure to promise you there’d be cherry wine of course.

It was a Friday and he had the day off so he had spent the day cleaning his condo and getting everything for dinner ready. He even bought some of your favorite snacks you had mentioned in conversation in case you wanted some while watching a movie later.

A part of him hoped you’d want to sleep over, it’d be nice to not sleep alone for once. He decided on cooking steak since that’s what he knew best. He was just a man after all.

He was a bit nervous. Which was a new feeling for Rafe. He didn’t typically miss people and usually that was because he didn’t stick around long enough to know anyone like that. It was a defense mechanism but there was something about you that made him want more. It wasn’t just how good you tasted and looked but it was how easy it felt to talk to you. Rafe thought you were funny, smart, and he liked how you played along with his teasing.

-

After school was over and you touched up your makeup in your classroom. You even changed into a tank top that was a bit revealing and your favorite pants that made your ass look fantastic. You didn’t want to waste anymore time away from him so as soon as you finished you headed out to his place.

That feeling of missing him so much should scare you but you liked it. You liked missing Rafe and you liked that you knew he missed you. With him everything felt real and you didn’t question your feelings or if you were being too eager.

You had to send the principal a fruit basket or something for continuing to insist the firefighter come every year. A few days ago you found out they almost didn’t do it this year but it all worked out. You can’t imagine not meeting Rafe now that you know him.

He didn’t live too far from the school so the drive was relatively short. You had texted him when you left school and since then he had been waiting outside for your arrival. When he saw your car pull up he walked down his driveway to meet you.

Being the gentleman that he is he opened your door for you, that smirk never falling from his lips. You loved him in date attire and his work uniform but him dressed like this. In a sweatshirt and grey sweatpants was making you swoon. He looked so domesticated you would get on your knees for him right here in the driveway.

“Hi,” You said bashfully as you stepped out. Every time you saw him it felt like the first time. Still occasionally turning into a pile of bashful mush around him.

“Hi,” He shut your door and placed a hand on the small of your back leading you up the driveway.

“Been waiting for me?” You teased.

He nodded, “Of course. Been thinking about you all day.” The heat creeped up your neck at his earnestness.

“You’re not shy about what you want huh?” You teased.

He shook his head with a smirk, “Then how would I always get what I want?”

You scoffed as he opened the door letting you in first, “I don’t know if cocky is a good look on you Cameron.”

He laughed, “Not cocky just confident,” he shut the door and gently put his hand on your stomach pushing you back against the door, “And I always get what I want.” Rafe leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to your mouth.

It was like finally breathing fresh air when your lips met for the first time in a while. You would make out with him all night right there if you could, but he pulled away with a grin.

After gathering yourself you laughed and gently shoved him, “You’re dangerous.”

-

His condo was nice. It was clean and had as much decor as a man in his 20s with a demanding job can have. There were a couple frames pictures on a shelf. They looked to be his sisters he had mentioned a few times. At least you didn’t have to worry about him secretly having a family.

In the living room he had set up blankets on the couch and candles on his coffee table. It was cute how he wanted to set the romantic mood. To top it off he had Netflix open ready to have a movie played.

You sat on one of the stools on the breakfast bar as you watched him cook. He wanted to wait till you were here so the food was hot. It smelled delicious. If he could cook good food you were never letting him get away. He was almost too good to be true.

The way his back muscles flexed under his white tee shirt had your mouth watering. You wanted to bite him. The two of you made casual conversation about your week. It was weird how his ability to multitask made you more attracted to him.

“You wanna pick a movie while I plate?” He asked turning to you with a smirk.

You agreed and walked over to the living room. As you scrolled Rafe got the wine glasses and opened a bottle. He walked over to you with two plates and glasses.

“Wow, thank you chef,” You teased helping him with the plates.

“Don’t say that too much now you’ll turn me on,” He laughed but was being completely serious.

“Maybe I will then,” You smirked.

-

A bottle and a half of wine later the two of you were settled on the couch not particularly paying attention to the movie playing. It was a romcom you had suggested and obviously Rafe wasn’t going to say no. The pair of you couldn’t keep your mouths shut talking about anything and everything.

It felt so natural laying with you and talking. Everything from the outside world disappeared and Rafe could just focus on you and making you laugh. A sound he had grown to admire. The sound warmed his chest and made him want to pinch your cheeks. It was scary how fast he had become obsessed with you.

He hoped the feeling was mutual but by your body language he’s sure it is. Seeing Rafe relaxed in his own space was doing something to you. The alcohol in your blood stream not helping either. It didn’t help that he also couldn’t keep his hands off of you. Not even inna sexual way but it was still lighting you on fire.

His warm heavy hand had been resting on your thigh and he’d squeeze it occasionally. If he saw your hair move in front of your face he’d be quick to tuck it behind your ear. He even fed you some of your steak and used his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth. Then he had the audacity put his thumb in his mouth to taste what was on your mouth and hum. You’re convinced he was put on this earth to torture you.

It finally became too much when he grabbed one of your legs and draped if over his. His hand began to trace circle on your inner thigh. Moving higher up every few minutes.

You set your empty glass on the table and turned fully towards Rafe. Both of your legs across his lap now. He didn’t notice your change in demeanor as he looked forward and went on about this show he saw with the main guy in it.

“Then he like asks her-“

“Rafe?” You interrupted.

He turned to you with a small grin, “Hm?”

“Thanks for dinner and everything,” You spoke softly.

His lips lifted in a crooked boyish smile, “Of course sweetheart.”

You reached out and rested a hand on his chest, “I think I need to thank you properly.”

Rafe could hear the innuendo in your statement and he was loving where this was going. He maneuvered you as a surprised sound left you when he placed you on his lap to straddle him. His hands now resting on your hips and yours on his shoulders.

“How would you do that hm?”

You shrugged feigning contemplation, “A kiss maybe.”

He raised a brow, “Oh yeah?”

You nodded and leaned forward closing the gap between you. Rafe pulled you closer so your chests were pressed together. He groaned as his body lit up feeling your weight on him. Your hands moved up his chest to grip the strands of hair at the back of his head.

Rafe’s hands gripped anywhere he could reach. The way he manhandled you had your underwear getting damp. He pulled away but only to press open mouthed kisses on your neck. He moved one of his hands into your hair and gently tugged at it to expose more skin. He could just eat you up.

The small whines and soft sighs you were letting out made his dick swell. He mumbled something about how good you taste before his lips slotted with yours again.

After a couple minutes of kissing and you may have started grinding against his bulge. As if you could stay still while feeling just how much he wanted you, but you had something else in mind for tonight. Especially since he’s already been so giving to you, so gently pushed his chest as you pulled away.

“Hm? What’s wrong?” He asked hazily. Rafe was drunk on you.

You giggled and shook your head, “Nothin I just think there’s something else I could be doing with my mouth.”

His eyes widened a bit surprised but it was quickly replaced by excitement. Now usually Rafe is a giver and he doesn’t mind not receiving. Like the last time you were together he got off just on making you cum, but he wasn’t going to stop you if you wanted to suck him off.

“Yeah? Feel free to show me,” He rubbed his hands up and down her sides.

“oh I will,” You smiled softly before leaning in and placing a kiss on his jaw. Moving down to his neck as your hands ducked under his shirt to feel the hard muscles of his abdomen.

Soon you were kneeling on the floor and your hands were fumbling a but as you tugged at his sweatpants. He helped you pull them off and he sprung free from the confines.

You’re not particularly fond of the way dick’s look but Rafe’s was one you could appreciate. No other guy had one this pretty, was it weird to think it’s pretty? you thought as you leaned forward. Never breaking eye contact with him as you gave his head a tentative lick.

That alone had him throwing his head back with a groan. Your mouth wrapped around his head. Rafe was going to explode with how warm and wet your mouth was you gently sucked on him.

Inch by inch you took him in deeper. Your head bobbing up and down at a slow pace to start. Once Rafe felt himself hit the back of your throat his hips stuttered. He was doing everything in his power not to thrust into your mouth.

“Fuck baby you look so good like this,” He groaned as he looked down. You looked like an angel with his cock in your mouth and doe eyes looking up at him. Your hand holding what you couldn’t fit in your mouth. Drool was starting to fall from your mouth. He felt your throat constrict around him as you sped up your pace.

“So pretty with my cock in your mouth,” He continued praising you once he saw how his words made you rub your thighs together. You hoped he hadn’t noticed that but he did.

You hummed softly around him. The vibrations adding to his pleasure. Rafe wrapped one hand around your hair to create a makeshift pony tail as your motions became sloppier.

“Getting me so close,” He sighed, “Feels like heaven in your mouth.”

One of your hands reach between him to fondle his balls. This is what got him closer to the edge.

“Dirty girl eh?” He gripped your hair a little tighter, “You’re so hot I could cum just by looking at your face.”

He felt you gag around him and that is what tipped him over, “Fuck I’m gonna cum baby.” He thrusted his hips upwards fucking your mouth. Not too hard obviously but it was enough to finally push him over the edge.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” He chanted and groaned as you took him as deep as possible as the his cum shot down your throat.

You pulled off of him with a pop and wipes your mouth with the back of your hand. Your cheeks felt hot as you thought about what just happened. Rafe had his head thrown back with his eyes closed as he still worked on catching his breath.

“Was that okay?” You asked a bit shyly. Rafe let out a choked laugh

“Fucking better than okay,” He laughed as he peered down at you. You laughed softly and he leaned down to pull you back on to his lap. With you on top of him he maneuvered his sweatpants back on.

Rafe pulled you in and kissed you. His tongue invading your mouth. You’re thinking he surely must taste himself but not care. That thought left you even more damp. Your thighs clenching around his hips.

You pulled away and leaned your forhead against his as you softly spoke, “Rafe I really like you.”

He stroked your cheek with his thumb as he held your face, “I really like you too.” You let out a breathy laugh feeling like a giddy school girl.

He pulled away to look at you properly, “Want to stay the night? We don’t have to do anything else.”

You nodded before he could even finish, “I’d love to stay.”

[onestepbackwards]

Love That Bites Pt. 14

This took. So long. I'm so sorry OTL But!!! It's done! I hope you all enjoy it! This chapter was suppose to be around 3000 words. It ended up being twice as long. Oops haha. I hope you all like this chapter though! Hopefully the next one won't take near as long (❁´◡`❁)

Summary: It was finally time for you to head home, but it seems Dracula wants to at least make sure you are healthy and safe before you go. A shame after you leave all your anxieties seem to hit you all at once...

CW: Anxiety attacks, slight mental breakdown, mentions of abusive relatives, brief mentions of injury, blossoming feelings

Word Count: 6384 Words!

Like this story? Please consider checking me out here! Likes, comments, and reblogs appreciated! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

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You were beginning to wonder if your life was a party, and you were the piñata.

In the span of less than a literal week, you had your shit kicked in since you couldn’t just fight off your step family, and accidentally revived an ancient ‘evil’ vampire that was your family’s immortal enemy.

Said immortal enemy then has tended to your health, Death threatened you, and now you somehow, by some stroke of luck, have convinced Dracula not to destroy all of humanity.

It… confused you.

Perhaps this really was a dream? Maybe you were actually still bleeding out on the floor of the castle or your bedroom?

By all means, you expected to possibly be dead after Dracula mentioned wanting to talk. You were in a way, ready to accept such a fate.

But his willingness to hear you out, and perhaps try not to kill people threw you for a loop.

A big loop.

One that had you questioning a lot, if you were being honest with yourself.

Had it always been that easy? Or were you genuinely just a special case? He did say he found you in particular fascinating.

One of your hands came up to rub your face as you felt your cheeks warm at the thought.

…Why did you have to find that kinda hot? Whatever, that wasn’t the point-

To be fair, given that the situation leading up to this point had already been weird and unusual, presumably even by your family’s standards. You doubted any of them would have had picnics with Dracula’s statue and run to his castle while critically injured.

But… you honestly couldn’t believe it was real. Dracula actually agreed not to try to destroy humanity. Somewhat.

Of course, that was his word alone, but…

…When you shook his hand, you couldn’t help but feel as if you had made a deal with the devil itself.

It was as if a part of you had a feeling deep in your chest that he would abide by the terms you both set.

But if you were being honest with yourself… you didn’t know if you could believe this. That the fact you even got him to agree was real.

You spent so much time worrying about it. Even before you ever found his statue, you had nightmares and days worrying about how you would handle Dracula if you had to confront him.

Was it all some plot? Some plan to make it hurt after betraying you?

Those pesky thoughts lingered, but you found it hard to believe them. Despite how often they popped up in your head, it was easy to counter them.

After all, why keep the Belmont alive after being slain so many times?

There were multiple opportunities to hurt you, kill you, torture you. Hell, if he wanted you as a prisoner, he didn’t have to give you such a lavish guest room.

Perhaps it was the fact everything you had been raised to believe at this point was now being called into question? After all, with everything happening, it felt like your world was spinning at a thousand miles an hour.

A part of you was probably also in shock.

Sure, your life has been hell up to this point, but it had a normalcy to it. You could expect to deal with dumb shit at home, and to fight evil monsters that were some of the worst of their kind when you did get to hunt.

It wasn’t fun, but it was normal.

This though? All the things you had happening to you?

Not normal at all, and it was hard to think.

Or maybe a bit too easy to do so.

It was as if a flood of thoughts swam in your mind, yet it was hard to comprehend so many of them.

“...At least the bed is comfy.” you mumbled, staring into the ceiling as you tried to calm your nerves. You still hadn’t completely calmed down since Dracula had talked to you.

Dracula had left not too long ago after you reached a… stable compromise?

He had said something about needing to check on some things, and to prepare to tell everyone about the deal you both came to.

You wondered just how much chaos that would stir.

A part of you felt a bit guilty. No doubt Dracula would have a lot of anger to deal with from some of his servants and the like. Many were already on edge with you just staying here, so you imagined the news wouldn’t go down without some outcry.

It was no secret many followed Dracula for his power, but it was also a well known fact many followed him because they hated humans. Hated hunters.

Though you doubted any public outbursts would be tolerated. Dracula no doubt would handle everything. You hoped.

If you were being honest though, a small part of you wanted to see the reaction on some of his servant’s faces. You bet some of the jaw dropping looks would be one to remember for years to come.

Unfortunately, you probably wouldn’t even be here to witness it.

Even if by some miracle you managed to possibly hold off the destruction of the world, you still had to deal with your step family, after all. Jason was already making your step brothers inquire about you, which was never a good sign.

You were lucky they backed off this long, and would probably give you a little longer before growing too restless.

After all, you did give them a bit of an ass kicking. Even if it was at the cost of your own health and mental well being, it was a long time coming.

That, and you doubted you would get such an opportunity so soon in the future. Best enjoy it before heading back and become their punching bag once again.

At least you probably wouldn’t have to worry about them trying to jump you like that any time soon. The fact they seemed to almost intentionally try and fatally injure you… it settled uncomfortably in your core.

Given you were willing to actually defend yourself for once, perhaps they won’t attempt something stupid like that again.

Despite that, you didn’t want to get your hopes up, either. Even if you showed you wouldn’t take a beating to that degree without fighting back, that didn’t mean they wouldn’t get creative with it for a possible next time.

Still, that didn’t change the fact you still had to go home. Sooner rather than later.

But… you’d be back. Hopefully.

That was one of the conditions Dracula asked for. He wanted you to come back. He wanted to see you again.

You tried not to think too deep about it. Surely, it was both to help keep the compromise in place, and to learn more about the current century, and all he had missed?

A part of you though couldn’t help but… daydream about the idea of him just wanting to see you. For you.

He said he found you fascinating, after all. But again, a part of you didn’t want to think too hard about it.

For all you knew, his version of ‘fascinating’ was simply seeing you as some sort of entertaining bug or something. Should you become a pest, all he had to do was squish you with his shoe.

…You didn’t want to believe that either, though. Not with how those ruby red eyes looked at you when he first was freed. How he asked who had hurt you.

The very thought of that moment had your heart racing again.

“Am I really that emotionally starved?” you mumbled to yourself once again. That question had been popping in your mind the more you thought about it, and how just one man/vampire made you flustered like a teenager having a crush.

When was the last time anyone had looked you in the eyes while injured, and asked who had hurt you? Then took care of you?

You hated to admit it, but Dracula had charm that a lot of people didn’t have nowadays. Or at least from most people you have met up to this point.

No doubt he had to have had it in order to be considered the King of the Night. You don’t just get that without some sort of charisma, you’d think.

…A part of you was going to miss it. You really had to return home, which is why you were dreading sleep.

Tomorrow you would head home. You would be back here, of course. A part of the agreement, after all.

But you didn’t want to go, almost like a small child not wanting to go to school.

“Ugh.”

Your chest pinged with anxiety every time you closed your eyes. It was hard to even relax enough just to rest.

–

By the time you felt your phone buzzing with an alarm to wake you up, you had nothing to show for what you ‘slept’, except for a migraine and a brewing anxiety attack.

Eyes heavy, you sat up in bed. A bed you were very much going to miss.

Even now, as you shuffled out of bed towards your bag, you could already feel yourself yearning to stay. Like a child who felt unwell and wanted to skip school, except 20x worse.

Grabbing your bag, you quickly went through the stuff you had, making sure everything was still here.

You trusted Dracula just fine with your bag, but you didn’t trust any other entity in this castle to not try and pull a fast one on you.

As much as it felt like some sort of Looney Tunes plot, you weren’t gonna put it past some disgruntled monster or entity to put a stick of dynamite in your bag or something hoping to blow you up.

Thankfully, you didn’t have much on you to begin with, but it didn’t hurt to be sure.

Tossing your bag to the side, you ran a hand over your face, trying to soothe your head and anxieties.

However, you nearly jumped when you heard a specific knock on the door. That same one you had grown familiar with.

Just how had Dracula known you were awake? Was he just guessing, or did he know? Did the castle tell him?

…Or perhaps he heard you thumping around. That was also possible. You decided not to think too much on it at the moment.

“Come in.”

The doorknob turned, before the door was pushed open, revealing Dracula himself.

He entered your room, giving you a polite nod before closing the door behind him, and walking up to the bed. Much like before, he pulled a chair close and sat in front of you.

A part of you wondered if he was doing that to seem more on an equal level as you, though you didn’t dare ask or point it out.

Getting comfortable, Dracula’s eyes seemed to see through you as he settled. Those ruby red eyes practically pierced you, and he didn’t even have to say a word for you to feel a bit small.

Yet, his words next were so gentle.

“How are you feeling?”

Despite it all, a small smile appeared on your face at his question. Your eyes dropped, and you looked over to the side.

“I’ll live. Head kinda hurts, and I didn’t sleep too well. A me issue, don’t worry.”

A flicker of a frown appeared on his face, before his face cooled back to a more neutral look.

“I see. What about your wounds? Any irritation? Are the stitches still holding up?”

You tried to ignore the warm feeling bubbling in your chest again at his concern, despite how hard it seemed to persist.

“They are healing nicely. I only feel a dull ache now compared to the pain I was in a few days ago.”

It was true. You barely felt your wounds compared to how you felt when you arrived. Dracula had done a lot to help them heal, going farther than most people have for you.

Dracula though, looked over your body, his eyes lingering where your wounds lay.

“May I see? I would like to check on them myself.”

Blinking, you leaned back onto the bed slightly, not too surprised.

“Yeah, sure. Here-”

Immediately, he was up from his chair, gently hovering over you from a slight distance. Far enough away to still give you some personal space, yet close enough to check over you.

He was quick, yet still just as gentle. It didn’t take much for him to remove your bandages, and look over your healing injuries, making sure to look over them thoroughly.

You hoped he didn’t think anything of the goosebumps showing up on your skin whenever his hands or nails briefly brushed against your skin. Hopefully he would assume you were chilled from the air, or were reacting to how cool his own skin was.

Another part of you hoped that thinking didn’t seem too pathetic.

And in an even deeper part of your mind… a part of you wondered what he would do if he did think you liked his touch. That was a part of your mind you tried not to linger on too much while Dracula’s face was less than a foot away from your own.

Dracula hummed a bit as he checked over your worst injuries, as well as your head injury. You may not have known him long, but you could assume he seemed pleased with your progress.

Most of your wounds had mostly healed up into scabs, instead of raw and fresh ripped flesh. Something that no doubt would have taken at least two weeks on its own without the help of the few potions Dracula has been giving you.

It would still take some time for them to completely heal, but you were no longer at a huge risk of infection, or had to stay in bed to heal.

Truly, you owed Dracula a great debt. Another thing you were… feeling odd about.

Before you could dwell too much on it though, Dracula was carefully placing your bandages back on.

“Good. They are healing quickly. I’m pleased with your progress.”

You gave him a smile as he sat back down, trying not to soak in his words too much. You were happy he was happy with your healing! A totally normal thing to want and achieve!

While you were trying to mentally downplay the buzz in your head from his ‘praise’, Dracula’s eyes looked over to your bag, which sat innocently on the bed next to you.

“Ah, were you still planning on returning to your home today?” he suddenly asked, bringing you out of your thoughts.

Trying to keep your anxiety about the mere thought of your ‘home’ in check, you nodded.

“Yeah, if I am away too long, it could cause some issues. It’s best if I leave today.”

Dracula leaned against his hand, his other on thrumming against the arm of the chair. You wondered if that was something he did often.

“And you’ll return?”

You nodded quickly.

“Of course. We agreed on that, right? Though…” you began, your hands playing with your shirt, “...It may take me a few weeks to a month to come back, but I will be back.”

Giving you a look, Dracula’s expression turned almost teasing.

“I would hope so, I would hate to have to hunt you down myself, Little Belmont.”

His tone was clearly joking in nature, with his lips curling into a grin that showed off his fangs.

You chuckled a bit, rubbing the back of your neck. However, the way he said it had heat rushing to your face.

God, why did you like the sound of that? Why? Why did your brain like it so much? You swear there had to be a deity out there who found your suffering hilarious.

You didn’t think you would be finding so much stuff about yourself when you arrived here a few days ago. Apparently you had interesting tastes, and were into things you hadn’t even considered before now.

No doubt you would be unpacking a lot of that later, possibly in the middle of a mental breakdown. It was too soon to tell.

Coughing a bit to try and stop those thoughts, you looked back at Dracula.

“Regardless, I will try to be here next month. I should be healed by then too…” You spoke, mumbling that last bit. Dracula gave you an odd look, and you had a feeling he wasn’t too sure of that, just as you were.

Sighing, Dracula then stood up, and much to your surprise, held a hand out to you. You stared at it for a moment, before looking back at his face as he began to speak.

“Well, are you ready to leave? If so, I shall escort you out myself.”

Your eyes flickered to his hand, which was still outstretched to you. After a moment, you took it.

“Trying to get rid of me so soon?” you joked, ignoring how your smaller, warmer hand easily slid into his larger, cooler one.

Dracula’s lips twitched upward as his hand gently curled around your own.

“Maybe I am? Someone has to get rid of the ‘Scary Vampire Hunter’ apparently haunting my castle.”

His words were pure jest, and that had the small smile on your face widening as he gently pulled you up to your feet.

“Can you walk?” He then asked, still clearly worried over you leaving so soon. You managed to stand on your feet without too much issue, and looked back up at him.

“Eh, I’m still a bit sore, but I can walk. I’ll be fine.”

It still actually hurt quite a bit, but hey, you have had worse.

Dracula also didn’t seem very convinced, but at this point, who was he to argue with you when you wished to leave?

Regardless, you were still a bit surprised to see him offer an arm to you after you managed to gain your balance.

“May I?”

Seeing Dracula offer his arm to you did not help the blossoming feelings in your chest. Why did the man who was humanity’s greatest enemy have to be such a gentleman??

Your face was hot, and you prayed to whatever god was listening that your blush wasn’t too noticeable.

“S-Sure.” You spoke, mentally hitting yourself with a hammer for stuttering.

Slowly, you reached out, nearly hesitating as your hand neared his arm. Gathering your resolve, you gently wrapped your own arm around his own.

He wasn’t as cold as you expected, despite him wearing a long sleeved shirt. Though it was hard for you to think as you registered just how big he was as you felt his muscles underneath said shirt.

Then, you nearly jumped when your bag was suddenly hovering in front of your face. You had nearly forgotten it on the bed behind you. Carefully, you grabbed it with your free hand with a quiet ‘thank you’.

“It is no issue at all. Shall we?” He spoke, looking down at you.

Oh stars, how he made you feel small.

“Yes.”

With that, he gently walked to the door, opening it with a flick of his wrist, and leading you out into the hall.

His pace was most likely slow for himself, given you were positive his stride easily would outdo yours. However, Dracula took his time so you could easily keep up.

You found you didn’t particularly mind. If anything, it gave you the perfect opportunity to admire the decor of his castle.

Castlevania had been described in many different ways from the journals you had read. Some said horrifying and confusing, while others spoke of it as if it were gorgeous, yet almost fake feeling.

You found yourself mentally describing it as hauntingly beautiful.

Just the hall outside your room was nothing less than extravagant. Dark red curtains hung above the giant windows that seemed to lead to a courtyard, while painting after painting adorned the walls between each window.

Each painting was unfamiliar to you, but they still astounded you all the same.

Dracula noticed your awe, and his lips curled into a smile.

“The castle, being connected to me, usually inherits my tastes. Though I’ve noticed it has a fondness for decorating on its own, and even has preferences. For instance…”

He paused in front of one of the massive windows overlooking a garden.

“The gardens always look a bit different, but it is fond of giant fountains. Nearly every iteration has one without my interference, though it is pleasing to see.”

You tried not to giggle at that. The thought of a sentient castle being fond of giant fountains and having decoration preferences was so silly, yet given what you were looking at, was very possible.

Dracula and you didn’t linger long at the window, but after that, Dracula almost enthusiastically pointed out different decorations and what some of them meant to him.

It was little things, such as his tastes in candelabras, or the story behind every other painting. Apparently there were many immortals who dabbled in the arts.

You wouldn’t lie. Walking through his castle was very… surreal.

This was a place you were supposed to storm through. A place you were supposed to look at with disgust and revulsion.

Yet, you were fascinated, despite being on edge.

Only one of your ancestors remarked on the beauty the castle had. Juste, you think was his name.

Juste had written how the castle had a strange charm to it, among all the horrors he saw. Apparently he had an eye for detail and decor, and briefly wrote about how he had found it fascinating before destroying Dracula’s wraith, thus destroying the castle.

You could kind of see what he meant now that you were seeing it first hand, even if it was most likely incredibly different than when your ancestor had run through here.

It didn’t take as long as you thought to get to the entrance hall, which was covered with a lush red carpet, and filled with different displays and extravagant furniture.

A part of you wondered if this was what some castles were like hundreds of years ago, just with a more modern touch. Maybe he’d tell you one day?

After all, you agreed to come back. You’d hopefully have plenty of opportunities for questions.

One thing though you did notice walking through the entry hall, was the uptick of monsters.

There were suits of armor you passed, where you could sense enchantments on them, each standing at attention.

That, and maids were here and there, cleaning or tidying up. You could tell most weren’t human just by looking at them, but that was none of your concern. At least not at the moment, so long as they didn’t attack you.

They kept their distance, but you felt all their stares. Some looked at you curious, before averting their eyes. While others gave you cold smiles. You suppose you didn’t blame them.

Ignoring their looks, you felt your heart pound in your chest the closer you got to the massive door.

It looked different.

Instead of a worn down door that looked as if it had been left to rot, was a magnificent massive door that looked warm and taken care of.

And imposing. Very imposing.

Then again, that was most likely the point, even if you were looking at it from the inside. You could only wonder how it looked outside…

You didn’t have to wonder long. The moment you both approached the giant door, it opened completely on its own, as if the castle itself was opening the door for its master.

Despite having been around Dracula a little bit, his impressive feats of magic and mastery over the castle still seemed to awe you.

A part of you also wondered if he was doing that on purpose to show off. You wouldn’t be surprised with how he would occasionally look at you after doing something with magic.

Magic itself wasn’t new to you, but all that he could do? Especially when it wasn’t combat related? It was a bit impressive, you’d admit it.

As he walked you through the large doorway, you noticed the courtyard between the entrance and the gate had also changed. What was overgrown, wild shrubbery and trees was now a full garden. The plants seemed alive, but in a way that was almost… unreal.

He guided you through the courtyard, his arm still entwined with your own.

It didn’t take long before you were at the gate, and he came to a stop. Looking down at you, he posed a question that had your heart thrum in your chest.

“Is this fine, or do you require assistance to your cabin?”

His question caught you off guard slightly. You hadn’t anticipated him asking, nor had you thought that far.

“N-No, I’ll be alright. Thank you.”

A part of you really really wanted to say yes, so this moment lasted a while longer. So you didn’t have to say farewell.

But the rational part of you screamed no. Even if you somewhat trusted this man, were you ready to let him know about your cabin? How to approach it? What if you both were followed? Did you want anyone possibly seeing any weaknesses in your defenses?

No, the hunter in your brain won out. You couldn’t risk anyone finding your defenses, or rummaging through the one sanctuary you had.

You just hoped Dracula wouldn’t take it personally if he or one of his underlings investigated your cabin and exploded or something from one of the traps or wards.

Dracula meanwhile gave you a long look. If you didn’t know any better, you’d even say it was disappointment you saw in those ruby colored eyes of his. With a sigh, he gently let your arm go from his own, turning to face you properly.

“Very well. I shall await your inevitable return. Do not keep me waiting too long, Little Belmont.”

You already missed him. How?

Slowly, you nodded your head.

“Of course. Um…”

A part of you felt so awkward already.

“See you soon?”

Mentally, you were smacking your head against the wall. Did you really just tell the Lord of Darkness ‘see you soon’? You wanted to explode.

However, most of your embarrassment almost melted completely away when he gave you a small smile.

“Indeed. See you soon.”

You stared at him for a moment, you both seemingly unable to look away. It wasn’t until a rumble of thunder broke your gaze away, and you stared at the long walk at the edge of the lake you would have to trek.

With a sigh, you turned, and began to walk.

Already, you were regretting not taking him up on his offer. But it had to be done this way.

RIght?

Your heart was heavy in your chest as you pushed forward with every step. You couldn’t even muster up the courage to look back as you crossed the edge of the lake towards the forest.

At least, you couldn’t until you reached the edge of the clearing.

Already you were tired, but you couldn’t help but finally look back behind you. Back towards Dracula’s castle.

Your eyes widened when you did.

The castle, something that should have horrified you, was gorgeous surrounded by clouds and the forest. Its image even seemed to eerily reflect back at the lake despite the clouds above.

And Dracula remained in front of it, watching you.

It was hard to see from so far away, but you could just barely make out his cloak spiraling out behind him in the wind. He was watching you leave.

Was it to make sure you were really fine? Was it genuine concern? Why else would he watch over you while you left?

…Did he actually enjoy your company? Did he already miss it?

It took more effort than you would like to admit to swallow down the warmth bubbling in your chest.

How silly.

No need to get your hopes up. You hoped that at least a few days away from this place might clear your head. Surely that’ll make these confusing feelings go away. Right? Right?

You just hoped this wouldn’t mess up how you perceived your cabin… You already came to terms with your sanctuary being next to an empty castle. Now it is alive, and its king has an interest in you and your motivations.

With a sigh, and one last long look at the castle (and its owner out front), you turned back to the woods.

Each step back was heavy, and you felt as if you were in a daze. If it weren’t for the fact you had been bewitched before and knew how it felt, you would have wondered if you had been enthralled by some sort of spell.

At least you were self aware enough to walk back to your peaceful abode with caution.

You checked your traps as you went, watching your step as you did so. Thankfully, most were undisturbed except for one or two traps. Those you suspect were simply disturbed by animals rather than monsters looking for a meal.

Well, you at least hoped that was the case. You didn’t sense any paranormal residue of any sort, but that wasn’t a guarantee…

Still, you took enough time to go over most you came across, and as your cabin came into view, you checked around the building.

It was tiring, but quick with how your mind was still a buzz. At least nothing seemed out of place.

Just… a few blood stains from when you were here last and critically injured. Oops.

You sighed, debating if you should leave it as a problem for future you. Not like this place and your home were lacking in blood stains if you looked hard enough. What were a few more?

Still, you didn’t just want to leave it there, so you at least cleaned it up a little bit so you wouldn’t come back to a gross smell. Well, at least a worse smell, anyway. The blood didn’t do your cabin any favors, but hey, it could be worse.

You’d clean it properly and make it spotless when you came back. Eventually. Hopefully. Maybe.

Whatever.

It didn’t take long, but it was clear what you were doing. Trying to keep yourself distracted while in this fog. Trying to buy time before you head home. Buying time before the reality of everything that had happened hit you.

You didn’t get as much time as you would have liked.

Thankfully, since everything else in your cabin was untouched after a quick sweep, you didn’t take much longer to leave said cabin. Even if you wanted more time, it was a weight off your shoulders that you didn’t have to worry about anything being… tampered with.

All you had to do was toss your bag in your car, set your whip aside, and drive off.

Should you be driving while in such a state? No, but you didn’t exactly have the luxury of keeping your home waiting much longer.

The drive itself wasn’t long, or at least, it didn’t feel like it. With each mile, the clouds began to part, and the sun began to shine. It was almost insane how much reach the castle had in terms of weather.

Or was it Dracula’s influence? You wondered if he’d tell you if you asked next time you saw him.

Next time. Right.

Your grip on the wheel tightened, and you could feel your anxiety peaking as you drove further from the cabin. From the castle. Only to grow closer to your home.

…Would they all be there? Your step family?

Dread was already pooling in your gut as you imagined them waiting for you at home. Would they be extra pissed? Would they do something reckless?

With the shit they pulled last time… You weren’t so sure you would be safe. Even if you scared them a bit, you feared you only pissed them off more. If they were willing to fatally injure you so blatantly in ‘training’...

You feared what they might do since they didn’t succeed, and you couldn’t do a thing about it until they acted.

Sweat began to form on your temple as your heart uncomfortably began to beat faster. You felt ill. Felt like you were cornered by a pack of werewolves who were starved for a meal, and you weren’t even at your house yet.

Yet as your city came into view, you felt worse.

Would they scream at you? Yell at you? Call you worthless?

Or would Jason lash out, and finally attack you? You knew he had been holding himself back, but after last time…

What about your home? Was it in good condition? Or did they start destroying things? You wouldn’t be surprised if your room was destroyed.

Worse… would they kick you out?

You had no real legal standing if they kicked you out. All your family’s artifacts, weapons, and history… gone.

They would never give it back to you, or any of your living family members across the globe. No doubt they would simply will everything to themselves if anything happened to one of them.

Why did your mother leave everything to them?

It wasn’t fair.

You were beginning to feel even worse thinking about it.

Still, you forced yourself to swallow what felt like bile rising from your throat as you pulled onto your street outside of the city. Getting sick wouldn’t solve any of your problems, and would most likely make things worse.

But you could barely fight the rising panic as your family home came into view.

It was never so daunting and imposing before now. A place filled with light in your childhood now brought you nothing but terror and anxiety just looking at it as you drove closer.

As you pulled into your driveway though, you paused, and stopped your car.

No cars were outside.

No cars were outside.

No cars in the driveway or out front, and if you were lucky, not in the garage either. But at least your step brothers were gone.

The way your body practically sagged in relief. Even if somehow Jason was home, that was better than having to confront all three at the same time after getting back right away.

Taking a deep breath, you turned off the engine, and climbed out of the car. You only grabbed your bag, keeping anything else locked inside.

It took a few moments to gather your courage, before you slowly unlocked and opened the front door.

You waited a few moments, holding your breath as each tense moment passed.

Nothing.

It was dark, and you heard all the familiar creaks, but no footsteps. No sounds of a TV. No talking in the distance.

Carefully, you stepped inside, and quietly closed the door behind you.

There was still nothing.

Were you truly home alone?

A part of you wanted to relax, but the hunter in you stayed alert. With silent footsteps, you headed to the garage just to be safe. There was no one on the way there, and when you opened the garage door?

Nothing.

Closing it, you laid your back against the door, hand over your heart as you tried to calm down.

You were actually home alone for once.

Did they have a hunt? Need supplies and go shopping since you were gone?

Either way, it didn’t matter. You were home alone, and that was most important at the moment. You could let your guard down for a little while.

At least, until whenever they came home.

With a huge weight temporarily off your shoulders, you made your way to your room, a small plan in mind.

First, you needed to change clothes. You were thankful for the clothes Dracula had lent you, but… what you had on was a little dated. Even if you liked how the loose, puffy shirt looked on you, and the comfortable pants… No doubt there would be questions why you were wearing clothing that was popular in a different century.

Then you needed to shower, and write down some stuff you needed to do going forward. Maybe even get some sleep before anyone gets home…

Sitting down on your bed with a messy plan in mind, you reached into your bag to get your dirty clothes out for you to wash later.

As you rummaged through it, you froze when you felt something new inside it.

Thoughts ran through your mind as your blood ran cold. Have you been had? Did someone plant a bomb or a weapon in your bag? Did Dracula betray you?

Carefully, your hand grasped the cool object, before slowly pulling out of your bag.

You couldn’t help the small gasp that left your mouth when you pulled out a potion bottle.

“When…?”

Looking over the bottle, you noticed a tag attached to the cork, and gently held it still as you made out the intricate cursive on the note.

‘I figured you could use this. It should be enough to finish healing your wounds. I hope you put it to good use.

Sincerely,

~VDT.’

You didn’t notice you were beginning to cry, until your vision became blurry with hot tears.

“VDT…. Vlad… Dracula Țepeș…?” You asked out loud with a sniffle.

He didn’t betray you. At some point, he must have slipped this in your bag after his last visit as he escorted you out. How?

It was a silly question to ask, given the immense power he held… but…

You sniffled again, tears hitting your leg as everything slowly began to hit you at once.

Despite it all…

…Dracula went out of his way to heal you, and even made sure you had something for when you got home.

More tears began to form as you carefully cradled the small note to your chest.

Dracula at least cared about you, when no one else did.

That thought both thrilled and terrified you to the core.

…Because you were certain you cared for him back.

[vrystalius]

How would the Hashiras react to finding out that Sanemi is secretly dating the star Hashira ?Sanemi's girlfriend created the star breath and she became hashira around the same time as sanemi/she killed the lower moon 1. She and Sanemi were enemies turned lovers (can you include Sanemi's version please?/it was a discreet romance so she and Sanemi didn't tell the others)

Secretly dating Sanemi

The hashira’s reaction to Sanemi and you dating in secret.

Includes: Giyu, Kyojuro, Muichiro, Tengen, Gyomei, Mitsuri, Shinobu, Sanemi

Sanemi was pressing you up against the wooden walls, planting desperate kisses all along your neck and collar. He was tugging on your collar trying to reveal even more skin to him. The air in the armoury felt steamy.

Your hands gripped onto his uniform. “N-Nemi, not here, i-idiot- n-not now.” You shuddered as you felt his teeth sink into your skin, before placing multiple kisses on it. “Fuck, I want you now.” Sanemi mumbled into your ear. He pulled away, his lips hovering over yours. Just as he was about to lean in for another kiss, the door to the armoury opened and the love hashira stood in the frame.

“KYYAAHHHHH!!”

The news about you two spread quickly…. What do the others think about you two?

Giyu Tomioka

Giyu would not show the surprise on his face. His face is neutral as always, maybe even a little more gloomy than usual. But on the inside, he’d be a little envious of Sanemi. Of course he’d be finding love this soon. But those thoughts were fairly quickly overshadowed by confusion. How did you two even start dating? Weren’t you guys at each other’s throats the whole time? Well, you still are, but more romantically now.

His respect for Sanemi prevents him from judging you two harshly, and as long as your relationship doesn’t jeopardise any missions, Giyu doesn’t mind.

“Good for you two.”

Kyojuro Rengoku

He could be incredibly happy for you two. Kyojuro would have never thought that you two would be dating, since he was the one who used to break up your fights and make you mediate.

The flame hashira would slap Sanemi on the back, laughing and congratulating him loudly, unintentionally making everyone else on the estate hear him. Even though he was very surprised and confused after first finding it out, he quickly became your biggest supporter! From now on, he thinks everytime you and Sanemi are talking, you two are surely being romantic! Maybe even planning a date? He’s just a little curious.

“Oh? Are you going on date tonight? May I recommend a perfect establishment to visit? They have incredible sweet potato dishes!”

Muichiro Tokito

Muichiro could not care less. As long as you two aren’t being overly affectionate in front of him and don’t let this interfere with your duties as hashira, he does’t care.

He also didn’t care about your arguments before, so why would he care about you dating now? Also, he’d quickly forget about you two dating anyway.

“Oh? You two are in love?… Okay.”

Tengen Uzui

Tengen would be incredibly amused. Just to annoy Sanemi, he would pull you aside and give you “tips” on how to keep things flashy in the bedroom. Also, he would offer Sanemi help in case he has any questions about relationships, given that he has been in three relationships, now marriages, while Sanemi probably was never dating anyone. Of course, Tengen is only saying this to fuck around with him. He’s actually supportive and real happy for you.

Also, he would probably tell his wives about you two, shocking them as well.

“Don’t be shy, tell me… What’s it like, hm? Sanemi must be rough with ya. Or is he gentle? I see him go both ways.”

Gyomei Himejima

He knew about you two the whole time. Gyomei was planning this the whole time, ever since you became a hashira. He envisioned you with Sanemi since the start and gave the both of you little encouragements to make a move, without outright telling you. After you two started dating in secret, Gyomei could just tell how the energy between you two shifted.

But after the other hashira found out about you, Gyomei acted as if this is the first time he heard about this.

“I am truly happy for you two. I wish you the best for the future.”

Mitsuri Kanroji

After drowning in shame and embarrassment when she found you and Sanemi getting on it in the closet, she’d be incredibly bubbly and happy for you two! Mitsuri would be so curious, asking a million questions about how it’s like, what you two like to do, who said “I love you first”, where and when the first kiss was, how it was… the list goes on.

Overall, Mitsuri is super happy for you two! She’ll squeal everytime she sees you two together, thinking you are totally being super romantic right now!!

“Oh! Oh! How did you two even fell for him? It thought you and him really hated each other…”

Shinobu Kocho

Shinobu would have her usual grin on her face. She’d tease Sanemi about becoming softer, especially for you, and about being safe during certain activities. Her teasing would be gentler than usual though. She’s happy for you and him, wishing you nothing but the best. Sanemi could use the good influence, maybe you can stop him from slashing himself open during fights. Less work for her.

“Make sure to be safe during intercourse, okay? We don’t want a baby to disrupt everything, do we?”

Sanemi Shinazugawa

Sanemi’s first reaction is to yell and lash out at the other hashira, telling them to back off and leave him and you alone. Why are they so damn nosy?!

You (besides Kagaya) are the only one who can make him calm down and not to threaten to beat the shit out of Tengen for teasing him. He’d distance himself from the other hashira, not wanting to face their annoying comments. This is exactly why he wanted to keep this a secret…

“Nah, I’m not gonna go train with them. Can we train together instead? ‘m not in the mood to deal with their shit.”

💠

So sorry it took so long! I really struggled with this one, I hope you enjoy it anyways!! My requests are open for both the hashira and the upper moons <3

Anyways, make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough!

Take care of yourselves!

[deadhands69]

Cute When You Stutter

loser!Shigaraki x gn/afab Reader

prev ◁ part 4 ▷ next

[series masterlist]

You wake-up comfortably in your own bed, unsure of how you got home. You’re still wearing your clothes from last night while your shoes are thrown haphazardly on the floor next to you. With your head pounding, you tap your phone to see what time it is. It's no use, the battery’s dead.

After laying perfectly still for a while doesn’t help, you press yourself out of bed and stumble down the hallway to get some water. Shigaraki is already in the kitchen, pouring himself a cup of coffee. Toga watches from the dining room table.

“You look like death,” he mumbles while grabbing a mug for you. There’s a huge purple mark on his neck that you vaguely remember giving him. Of course, he’s not even bothering to cover it. Kurogiri eyes you as he passes through the room cleaning.

Your mouth barely opens to ask Shigaraki how you got home last night, but he cuts you off.

“I have to run some errands,” he says before handing you your morning drink and rushing out the door, “see you guys.”

You take a seat at the table across from Toga.

“So, you’re dating Tomura now, right?” she asks, her big hazel eyes staring over the table at you. “You’re the one that gave him the-”

“No, we aren’t dating,” you dismiss quickly. 

“Does Tomura know that? I’ve never seen him do nice things for anyone else before noon. He's not a morning person.”

He's not a people person any time of day you want to add, but you see her point. 

“I think he knows,” you muse, “I mean, I specifically asked him to pretend to be dating me so there’s no reason for him to think we’re together for real. I think he’s smart enough to know the difference.”

“Oh,” she hums. “Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’d be really cute together.”

After a few glasses of water, some food, and a shower, you’re feeling a lot better. Through your shared wall, you hear Tomura get back to his room. Willing yourself out of bed, you make your way to his door, knocking once before entering as usual. He sees you and panics slightly, trying to hide a large box under his desk.

“I’m not here to make fun of you for buying legos. That’s actually kind of cool,” you say, gesturing to the expensive-looking set under his desk. “I just don’t remember last night and have some questions.”

“Wait,” he rubs the hickey on his neck, “you don’t remember anything?”

“I remember that, don’t worry,” he exhales in relief. “I don’t remember how I got home though, or really anything after we left the bathroom.”

“I took you home,” he states matter of factly.

“How,” you ask, “I could barely even walk.”

“I carried you,” he looks at you like it’s the most obvious thing ever. Looking him over, you’re slightly surprised he managed to lift you at all, let alone get you all the way home and into your bed. You’ve seen the way he moves during missions though. And in spite of how skinny he is, you can see that he’s at least somewhat toned under his clothes. Maybe it’s not that shocking.

“And,” you continue, feeling suddenly self conscious, “did I do anything…stupid?”

He glances to his crotch and back at you, still unsure if you remember everything. 

“I mean after that.”

“No,” he says casually. “Before we left, you told your friends to fuck off and said something to your ex that I couldn’t hear. Whatever it was, he didn’t look too happy about it.”

Oh, just that.

Seeing the mortified look on your face, he adds, “they deserved it though, they were being assholes.”

“Got it,” you say quickly, dreading the moment your phone turns on filled with messages from them. He has a point though. In the first good decision you’ve made all in a while, you decide you’ll just block them and move on. Maybe it's the exhaustion talking but none of it feels worth it anymore. After the week you’ve had it feels like a massive weight off your shoulders. You sit on Shigaraki’s bed, burying your face in your hands. You're oddly comfortable in his room, even if it is messy. It’s a feeling you never noticed yourself having before; being here with him and not wanting to be anywhere else.

“Thanks,” you look up to smile awkwardly at him, “I feel like I owe you.”

“For walking you home?” he scoffs, “how else would you have gotten here?”

“I mean, for everything.” 

“Oh, it’s not a big deal,” he grumbles.

“It is for me,” you say, noticing the way his cheeks flush as he stares down at his hands. “Come here.”

Hesitantly, he moves onto the bed next to you. His big red eyes widen as you take your shorts off and climb onto his lap. Grinding against him, you feel him harden in his sweatpants almost instantly. His hands come to your hips, pinky and ring fingers held up as he grips the side of your underwear. He looks even prettier than usual at this angle. The hair falling in front of his face frames the bottom of his nose and mouth. 

You’ve been pretty worked up this week, especially with everything you’ve done with Tomura, so it doesn’t take long before you’re close. Grabbing his shirt you pull yourself into him harder to increase the friction. It works. You softly gasp in his ear, finding that he was very close as well. His fingers dig into your skin as he groans, biting your shoulder. Eyes still clenched shut, he wraps his arms around you to steady himself.

A wet spot forms at the top of his pants as he catches his breath.

That’s okay.

You shove him back onto the blankets. Through heavy-lidded eyes, he watches as you slide your damp underwear off, throwing them on the floor nearby. His arms lay limply over his head as you climb over him, pressing each of his wrists into the bed.

Once more, his breathing quickens when he realizes you’re hovering over his face. It’s cute watching him get so worked up over you.

Smoothly, you lower to sit on his face, noticing that even the dry parts of his skin feel soft against you. He lets out a muffled whine. His chapped lips open, tongue desperately exploring wherever he can reach. It’s sloppy, but that doesn’t matter. This is what you've wanted all week and you're finally getting it: Tomura a bumbling mess under you, working hard to get you off. You find a tempo that works for you as you take the friction you can get from his face. 

The wet sound of you sliding over him and your moans fill the room, punctured occasionally by his stifled gasps. You’d be more self conscious of the pornographic noises that you know can be heard from the hall, but you’re too busy chasing your own high for the first time all week. Everyone in the league knows what you're doing by now anyways.

Angling forward, you rut over him a few more times before pressing hard against his mouth. His tongue dips into you, teeth nudging your clit. Everything that’s built up all week comes out at once, feeling like fire coursing through your veins. You feel his lips grow more slick against you as you ride out your orgasm on him. You gushing over his face pushes him over the edge too, hips stuttering behind you as he whimpers into your lips.

As you climb off his bed to go get cleaned up, you admire your work. His face is drenched with you, still-tented sweatpants wet with his own cum, and he looks like he’s about to pass out from exhaustion. He really is pretty like this.

For the first time, you find yourself wanting to stay.

next - series masterlist - bnha masterlist

taglist: @shigarakislaughter @kalulakunundrum @jimabbenamara @aryuunachigiri

@badbclub (threw you in here too after i saw your post!)

[carowleysposts]

Good Omens makes me feel scary things. Let’s talk about it.

So, before I start, I think it’s important to clarify that I am neurodivergent. I have autism and GO is one of my strongest hyper-fixations ever. I am so emotionally and mentally invested in it I could talk about it for days on end and every single detail of this show makes me love it more.

But there’s a really really dark flip side to this love, and I would love to see if there’s anyone else who struggles with it too:

I think I care a little too much.

Although I am aware that this is somewhat “common” for people in the spectrum and my doctors all have confirmed I am not a complete nut case for it, I almost never feel comfortable admitting to those in my life that a piece of fiction has such a strong hold on me and my mental health. And as much as I love everything we’ve seen so far, all the little things I hear and read about season three give me heart-stopping waves of anxiety that are definitely not normal.

Like, I am constantly scared of what will happen, as if it was happening to me. And I know it’s embarrassing, but my brain is simply wired differently, and it feels so awful not being able to talk about it with my friends in real life.

Sometimes I feel like my day is ruined because I read someone say that they think S3 won’t have a happy ending, or that they probably won’t kiss or end up together or something bad like that. And even though I know it’s just fiction, it gives me stomach knots, as it is such a powerful part of my life and I think about is so much.

I have even come as far as to take breaks from Tumblr and mute some words on some social media platforms so that I won’t read Neil’s responses to questions - because they ALSO make me fear terribly and give me crippling anxiety, like when he said it won’t be romantic, or when he says stuff that make me worry for the future - and won’t hear speculation or even be reminded of other stuff people say.

And before anyone asks: Yes! I am fully aware it sounds absurd. And yes, i absolutely do feel crazy and embarrassed about it, but unfortunately this is the reality of many people in the spectrum and many neurodivergent people in general.

I do work, I am a ballet teacher and an author, so of course I have many other things to worry about and do and of course I have a life full of responsibilities and relationships and different pursuits to keep me from actually thinking about it nonstop. But still, even though I am busy and distracted most of the time, every now and then these feelings and worries come and punch me in the gut, and it completely paralyzes me for long moments. I feel kinda sick? I don’t know.

So I guess what I am trying to ask is: do you guys know of anyone who feels the same? Like, is there anyone else who feels like their mind has been absolutely taken over by fiction-related anxiety? And also: what should I do about it? I feel like absolutely no other piece of fiction compares to this one, and my mind simply won’t stop.

Help pls.

[thestarlightforge]

Why “I’m Billy Maximoff” Mattered to Me — A Queer Disabled Person’s Journal

10/17/24

***

Call it silly if you like. But I feel actually healed. Because these stories, they’re not just “superheroes”—they’re modern mythology. They’re how we teach each other and our children who deserves a place in the world.

When I watched WandaVision, like a lot of people, I identified with Wanda’s grief/depression/trauma journeys. And of course saw myself in the queer kids she gave a loving home, more so the more Young Avengers books I read. But with the WandaVision versions of Billy and Tommy in particular—more so even than the comic books—I also read into it the disability/childhood terminal illness allegory. It’s something on Schaeffer’s mind while writing them—leaked audition tapes from actors not cast as the boys revealed as much—even if it didn’t occur to all the viewers.

But I wasn’t supposed to live, either. Wasn’t even supposed to be born.

I don’t talk about it a lot because it’s hard to talk about. But when my mom was pregnant with me, doctors in Tennessee (pro-life peons they claim to be; it’s all an act) tried to get my parents to late term abort me, all because of a genetic condition they suspected I had—which I don’t even have lol, turns out I had a different handful of impairments, but anyways. A lot of people with the genetic conditions I DO have die within two hours of being born. My whole childhood was spent ducking in and out of hospitals, I had eleven major surgeries and almost died a dozen or so times before I turned twenty… I am so pro-choice it’s insane, but I was one of the “inspiration porn” kids that white, southern Republicans used in their crusades, screaming their “pro-life” BS at the Democrats who gave MY mom the right to choose my life.

I know. It’s WILD.

All that to say, though: It hit me in a particular place when Wanda married her trans husband, had queer kids who the entire world screamed at her (either weren’t real or) shouldn’t have been allowed to live, and then believed in them and loved them. With her everything. Thanked her queer, disabled kids for the honor, for choosing her to be their mom. (And Multiverse of Madness asked us to hate her. It baffles me to this day.) She didn't give up on them, did everything in her power to rescue them on the faintest hope they had survived (calling out for help in the Darkhold), even as some of the most powerful mages on SEVERAL worlds gaslit her for years... And when the gaslighters finally convinced her they were right, she destroyed the artifact that could be used to hurt anyone like her boys ever again.

For years, since Schaeffer had to relinquish creative control to the Multiverse of Madness team, I have felt that “the only creator amongst my favorite stories who feels like I belong has had to let us go, and the people who follow her don’t even believe we deserve a chance… we’re crazy, imaginary, and the world is better off without us.”

A slam-the-door narrative, Doctor Pandemonium & Avengers: Disassembled come again, the likes of which Byrne & Bendis would be proud.

But Agatha is an anti-hero/anti-villain story about ALL misunderstood, outcast people who deserve a second chance, no matter what the world may think.

The fact that Billy’s story in the MCU is now a meta-commentary on that publication history narrative… That Schaeffer took the episode to say, “I don’t know how many times or in how many different ways I’m gonna have to spell this out for y’all, but Wanda’s kids are HERS. They are and were REAL. They have their OWN SOULS and they BOTH DESERVE to FIND THEMSELVES and FIND LOVE and LIVE.”

I can’t think of a better way to have honored us. 💙

“It’s nice to see you again, Billy” 😭

(for the record, Agatha saying this totally genuine and with tears in her eyes—she will never be a villain to me, not ever again 💜🖤)

Thank y’all for listening. ❤️

This one’s for Tommy 🥹💚

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

I've decided to kick off October with something happy because... Well, we all know where this month's going.

Remus settles into the commentator's chair awkwardly, watching everyone file into the stands, ready for the Quidditch match ahead.

Honestly? He'd completely forgotten that Professor McGonnagal had told him that, after a particularly... harsh prank, he would be the alternate commentator. It hasn't really been an issue, but of course Lockhart had to get fucking dragonpox. The twat probably won't stop talking about how he clawed his way back from death when he's back, but for now? Remus is stuck trying vaguely to remember something from all of the times Sirius and James have rambled to him about Quidditch.

The pit of dread in his stomach tells him that this is going to be a disaster. Minerva's managed to long con him into it. He was quite comfortable in his false sense of security, really.

"Mr Lupin?" Professor McGonnagal prompts quickly.

"Oh, right, er..." he glances down at his sparse notes, voice being carried across the entire pitch. "Hi. Today's Gryffindor vs... Ravenclaw?" He looks to Minerva, a little helplessly, but she just nods. "Okay, great. They're, er..." He tries to remind himself of what he needs to do, glancing back down at his parchment.

Introduce the players.

"James Potter's leading the Gryffindors," he sounds less sure than he ever has, even though he knows this part. He can practically see Sirius laughing his arse off from the pitch. "With beaters Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon, seeker, er..." Merlin, he's heard the name countless times! What's his bloody name? "Fenwick? No, you're the Keeper, shit. Sorry!" He turns and shrugs at Minerva, after hearing her suck in a harsh breath.

This is the worst day of his life.

He fumbles through the rest of the introductions, likely offending the entire Ravenclaw team. It gets a little easier once they're in the air. All he has to do is say who's doing what, and that's surprisingly clear. He only has one real issue.

He can't take his eyes off Sirius.

As much as he's keeping a vague running commentary of the game, his eyes flick back to Sirius involuntarily. Usually it isn't an issue. He's never actually needed to watch anyone else before, he could just watch Sirius move agilely around, darting between people, the muscles in his arm flexing every time he swings the bat...

Shit, he's drifting!

He can't help himself, but he must be doing a decent enough job. Minerva isn't intervening, anyway. Realistically, as long as people know who scores, he's doing fine. So fine, in fact, that he finds himself zoning out. He's just... commenting, practically forgetting that there's a microphone in front of him.

"Wilkes bats the bludger and... Sirius dodges! Bloody brilliant!" He hears a quiet murmur of 'language' come from Minerva behind him, but he's already getting distracted. "That was a good dodge, with the weaving. Merlin, he looks hot on that broom." The words reverberate loudly across for everyone to hear. He snaps out of it the moment the words escape him.

Oh, God.

What the fuck did he just say?!

A few people come to a brief halt in mid air, confused. Remus clears his throat, sitting up a little straighter as his entire face burns bright red. He's stuck up in the commentator stand, eyes on him, accidentally loudly proclaiming that he finds his best mate attractive.

Sometimes he really bloody hates himself.

For a moment, Remus stares at his notes like he can get them to finish commentating the match for him. James shouts something, and Remus can hear the game resuming. He risks looking across the pitch, eyes immediately landing on Sirius. He's stopped moving entirely. The rest of the players have shaken off Remus' strange comment, focusing on winning. The game moves around Sirius for a moment. Remus isn't sure how much time passes, because Sirius' eyes are on him. Realistically, he knows he needs to keep commenting, but the words just won't come.

Just like that, Sirius breaks the weird air they were both stuck in, springing into action. He's flying scarily quickly, and it's only when he's a few meters away that Remus registers Sirius flying straight at him. He grinds to a halt right in front of him, just beside the mic stand, still on his broom.

"Sirius, what-"

He doesn't have a chance to say anything else before Sirius leans in and kisses him.

Oh.

Remus feels Sirius' hand reach up to his cheek, and he almost involuntarily follows it with his own hand. The kiss is... Merlin, it's everything he's ever imagined and more. Sirius' lips are soft, gently searching, and eager. He pulls Remus' entire focus with one move, and God, Remus could do this forever-

"Mr Black! Mr Lupin! We're in the middle of a Quidditch match!" Professor McGonnagal's voice, sternness with just a hint of amusement, breaks them apart. Remus can promptly feel his face turning red again, muttering the Professor and apology.

"Right you are, Professor, sorry!" Sirius calls, voice caught and projected out by the microphone. "We've got a game to win!" He pulls Remus in quickly, connecting their lips for one more, brief, moment.

Just like that, he's back out there, playing just as elegantly as before, leaving Remus dizzy. He can see the grin on Sirius' face as he darts between the Ravenclaws, and he shakes his head fondly at him. Then, he looks back down at his notes. He's still halfway through his punishment.

"Okay, er... Where were we?"

[aquaquadrant]

I’m in LOVE with your Hels to pay au!! Thank you so much for writing it!!

Has anyone ever asked Tango about his cuffs? Has anyone offered/tried to help him get them off? I imagine it would either be a funny montage of increasingly wild attempts OR just absolutely heartbreaking.

(sooo funny story, i saved the first ask in january bc i wanted to write smth for it… but then the second one came in before i got around to it… then the third… so uh. yeah. here ya go.)

~*~

“i like your cuffs, by the way.”

tango freezes, and even though xisuma has only just met the guy, he can immediately tell something’s off.

hermitcraft’s newest member is far from ordinary; a blaze hybrid with sharp teeth and blackened claws, red eyes that dart around nervously and squint at the sun, like it’s too bright. he didn’t even seem to know what a golden carrot was, when xisuma gave one to him.

the shackles around his wrists are just the frosting on the cake. xisuma had assumed it was part of his, er… unconventional style. but tango’s reaction- and the small links of broken chain still dangling from the cuffs- make xisuma wonder.

“what… uh, what do you mean?” tango asks, his tone forcibly light. oh, he’s anxious- ears flat, shoulders hunched likes he’s expecting an attack.

xisuma shrugs. “your cuffs, they’re just really metal,” he says casually. “it’s a cool look, is all.”

“oh.” tango blinks. the relief is evident in his expression, but he only relaxes slightly. “oh, right! thanks.”

while xisuma hasn’t been the admin of hermitcraft for very long, he’s been around long enough to tell when a player is running from something. but that’s none of his business. that’s why they come here, isn’t it?

“anyway,” xisuma says, “that’s about the end of the tour.” he lifts a hand to put on tango’s shoulder, then thinks better of it, folding his arms instead. “you just lemme know if you need anythin’, alright? anythin’ at all.”

“right, yeah.” tango smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “thanks, i’ll- i’ll keep that in mind, yeah.”

~*~

“jeeze, you ever take those cuffs off?”

tango freezes, and even though impulse is still relatively new here on hermitcraft, he can immediately tell he’s crossed a line.

it’s only been a couple weeks since a random portal abruptly appeared in front of impulse, taking him to a world called hermitcraft. according to his fellow hermits, that amounted to an invitation from the universe- which is how they all join.

he’s spent most of his time working on a quadruple witch hut farm with some of the other redstoners, and tango’s been a bit of a puzzle. he’ll be standoffish or even outright defensive at times, but then seem inexplicably drawn towards impulse, asking strange and not-so-subtle probing questions. of course, whenever impulse tries to address this, tango brushes him off.

“oh, these old things?” tango says after a moment, his brief panic quickly swept under the rug as he flaunts his cuffs. “why, do you- am i not pulling them off? too much?”

“no, no, they’re cool!” impulse assures him. “it’s just, don’t they get in the way when you’re doing delicate redstone work? seems like a bother, that’s all.”

tango huffs a laugh, but he’s also eyeing the nearest exit. “nah, man, th- it’s part of my look! my uh, my brand, as some might say. can’t go without ‘em, you know how it is…”

that’s not the reason. impulse can tell. but whatever the real reason is, it’s not his place to push tango to talk about it. they’re still getting to know each other, so if it’s anything more than a simple fashion choice, impulse is sure he’ll find out sooner or later.

“ooh, okay, gotcha.” impulse nods sagely. “branding, very important. well, if you ever change your mind, i’d be happy to take them off your hands- uh, literally and figuratively, i guess,” he chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. “cuffs are pretty ‘in’ for demons, you know.”

tango laughs too, though he’s already turning away, back to his work. “right, yeah, i- i’ll keep that in mind.”

~*~

“can you actually not take these cuffs off?”

tango freezes, and even without the spike of panic through their soulbond, jimmy can immediately tell he’s said something wrong.

it’s been about a month since the double lifers voted to end the death game. one month since jimmy and tango made their relationship official. and as amazing and wonderful as it’s been living on the ranch, jimmy’s starting to get the sense there are a few things he doesn’t know about tango.

he hadn’t meant anything by the question- just genuine curiosity. they were kissing, tango’s hands cupping jimmy’s face, and when he’d reached up to cover tango’s hands with his own he’d felt the cool metal of the cuffs, and the question just blurted out from his mind. gosh, he really does ruin everything.

tango recovers quickly. “whaaat, you don’t like ‘em?” he grins, casually stretching his arms above his head so the cuffs jangle around his wrists.

jimmy hesitates. the panic he felt through their bond has faded, but that doesn’t mean it’s not still there “well, sure, it’s just- y’know, i realized i’ve never seen you take ‘em off.”

tango blinks. “you- what, don’t you think if i wanted to take them off, i would’ve?” he laughs, putting his hands on his hips. “i mean, it’s not- we have metal-cutting technology, you know.”

oh, duh. jimmy feels silly. tango is far from helpless- if those cuffs hadn’t been a conscious decision, he surely would’ve figured out how to take them off by now. or, jeeze, he could’ve asked anyone on his server full of technical geniuses to help out.

“right, right, of course,” he says sheepishly. “sorry, i wasn’t- i do like how they look, i- i was just wonderin’. but uh, you know, if you ever did wanna take ‘em off… i mean, i’d still like you plenty without them,” he jokes.

“you’re good, you’re good,” tango hums, draping his arms around jimmy’s shoulders. “i’ll keep that in mind.”

~*~

tango sits alone in his room, claws curled around the cuff of his other hand.

it’s just simple iron. it wouldn’t be hard. all he has to do is reach for his inner fire, concentrate, and let the metal soften in his grasp. even if he heats it too much- so that molten iron drips over his skin like water- he’s a bit more fire resistant than the average player, he’d be fine. it’d only take a couple seconds for each one, and then he’d be free of them. forever.

it’s been nearly ten years, for hel’s sake. he’s lost count of how many times he’s been in this exact situation before, wanting and willing so much but being unable to bring the flames to his fingertips. if he even thinks about it, it’s suddenly like he’s back in the farm, icy wither rose numbing his veins, a haunting voice ringing in his ears.

‘just the cuffs on his wrists there, and he stays put like the good creature he is.’

tango wants to be good. he’s been trying so hard to be good. but what if he can’t trust himself? what if the only thing stopping him from reverting back to his old ways is the illusion of control maintained by these shackles?

who is he without them? would he be someone that his friends still cared about? would jimmy?

he’s too afraid to find out.

tango lets go of the cuff, the familiar weight of metal dropping back onto his wrist. he can try again another time. so long as he has his fire, he still has the option. he’ll do it someday.

so for now, the thought retreats to its little shadowed corner in the back of his mind, safe for another day.

~*~

[beenbaanbuun]

Hi hi! I hope life is treating you well and you’re drinking lots of water and resting well!

I would love to hear your thoughts on dragon!San the brainrot for him has been real lately 😭💖

so this actually changed the chemical infrastructure of my brain and i couldn’t decide how to write it so i hope this is okay 😭😭

——————————————————————————

so ask anyone who i speak to on a regular basis and this is all i’ve been able to talk about for days because i have so many ideas for it

arguably too many for me to even begin to think about structuring them in a way that makes sense…

but hey, we can try right?

so initially my first thought was ‘omg, i’m going to make this little guy so sad…’ and i will! but i promise it will make sense

so san is a people person—or dragon, i guess—right? sure, he’s a little shy but at the end of the day, you can tell he loves being around people

all throughout his childhood he wanted nothing more than to work with kids, maybe be a teacher or something! he’s good at helping people, right?

it just sucks for the poor guy that as he got older, he started to get bigger, his nails started to grow into something akin to talons, and his canine teeth became sharp and menacing

there’s a reason you never really see any dragon-hybrid teachers…

the day san got kicked off of his teacher-training course was probably the saddest day of his life, but at least he had you at home! the most precious jewel in all of his hoard…

honestly, san would love nothing more than to keep you bundled up in his den, wrapped in all six of his limbs—are wings limbs?—to keep you protected from the outside world

realistically, though, he’s all too aware of a humans needs to keep you indoors

you’re like a houseplant with the way you need sun to survive

he also knows that you need to work, since it’s borderline impossible for him to get a job

he’s too scary to work with people, too drawn to shiny things to work with money and too underqualified to work a 9-5

he always feels guilty that you’re the main breadwinner for the household, but he doesn’t mind being a house-husband all that much

he’s more than content taking care of his hoard, after all, and since you are his most prized possession…

speaking of his hoard, it’s kind of littered about the apartment, although most of it is in your bedroom

necklaces and jewels hang from the living room’s light, making it look closer to a chandelier than a regular lampshade

gold and silver appliances are his favourite making the kitchen look somewhat gaudy in comparison to what it originally looked like

as for your bedroom, it looks rather similar to howl’s…

in fact san was almost giddy when you first showed him howl’s moving castle, pointing at the screen with a wicked grin on his face

“see! its not just me who likes to decorate like this!”

you don’t have the heart to tell him that howls moving castle is just make believe and no one decorates like him…

but you suppose it’s not so bad; san dusts it from time to time and the things that dangle from the ceiling are perfect for you to zone out and stare at whenever san is rushing around looking for something to clean you up with after fucking you dumb :)

because let’s be real, dragon!san definitely has a huge cock to match the rest of his body

and despite his sweet demeanour outside of the bedroom, he’s an absolute demon inside of it

he’s possessive, more than anything, so if you ever come home smelling of anything other than him, then you best believe you’re being whisked away to the bedroom the second you step food through the front door

hands will be on you before you even know it, talons tearing at clothes and stripping you naked before you even get chance to tell him that this shirt is far too expensive to tear

you don’t even get much chance to protest after he’s torn it from you either because his lips will be on yours and his forked tongue will already be lapping at the inside of your mouth like his life depends on it

everything happens so quick because he’s just so desperate to make sure you know that you’re his again

he needs each one of your senses to be filled by him, he needs your mind to only think of him, he needs your pussy to be dripping with him

he knows he doesn’t own you but he needs to feel like he does

when he’s like this, it’s always quick. he needs to fuck you hard and fast before that strange smell that doesn’t belong to him sinks into your skin and stays there forever!

it’s purely instinct driven, really…

and maybe later he’ll take you for round two, only this time he wants to actually savour you

now you smell like him again, he can relax as he forces his cock inside of you

he can take his time kissing you and making you feel like the most beautiful person alive

he can let his hands trace every inch of your body, appreciating every dip and curve you have

and once it’s over, he can sit there with his cock still plugging you up and appreciate your blissed out face as you recover from what can only be described as a heavenly experience

[remiwritesstuffsometimes]

Hey. What if Neptune was the one who found Planet X instead of the moons?

This idea randomly popped into my head and I cant get rid of it please help i am already working on TWO fanfics 😭

I saw this ask and my two (2) remaining neurons collided and decided to give me the biggest brainblast I’ve ever had. I have thoughts about this idea.

First of all, I can’t see anything major changing; just little (albeit important) changes. X still wouldn’t come back to the solar system before Ganymede and Europa find him. He wanted someone to represent him and help him plea his case to the Sun. It’s very unlikely that he’d settle for Neptune to do that job, especially since he’s been waiting for 4.6 billion years.

Technically, depending on when they actually meet, Neptune may not even remember X by the time he comes back. For this we’ll assume that Neptune does remember him/they met “recently” (sometime during/directly before or after the Moon Revolution).

X would already know a lot about Neptune because of all of his stalking (lol), so I don’t think his attitude towards him would change that much. He’d still view Neptune as an incompetent idiot. Maybe he’d use him to gain more information on the other planets (not that Neptune would know much about anyone other than Uranus).

It would definitely change a lot for Neptune, though. He’d probably try to befriend X immediately, and I can imagine X playing along with the whole “friendship” thing. Neptune leaves his orbit pretty frequently to check up on X and while he does find it a bit annoying, it’s also a little endearing, especially after not talking to anyone for billions of years.

X would tell him about how he was thrown out of the solar system by Jupiter and Saturn and that, one day, he’s planning to return. Neptune would encourage him to, saying that he’s sure all the others would love to meet him. X, of course, conveniently leaves out the fact that he wants to get Jupiter exiled and take his place.

I think it would be funny if Neptune mentions X to Uranus and Uranus is just like “Oh God, now he has two imaginary friends.” Imagine his face when he finds out that X is real lol

When X comes back with the moons, everyone is shocked and/or terrified, while Neptune is just like “omg hi neighbor!!!” Then, Jupiter is kicked out and Neptune is upset, but he gives X the benefit of the doubt. He reasons that he probably didn’t mean for Jupiter to get exiled and if anything it was Sun’s decision in the end.

Then, the Caelus situation happens. X is less confrontational with Neptune than in canon, but he still tries to keep Neptune and Uranus separated. He knows that Uranus is far easier to manipulate, but also doesn’t want to cause any unnecessary conflict with Neptune. Neptune feels like something is up, but he doesn’t actively fight with X or Uranus. He’s not actually against X, not yet, but he’s not nearly as fanboyish as Uranus.

Then, the moons challenge X and Neptune finally goes against X. He confronts him about not really wanting what’s best for the solar system, that he’s only after revenge. It’s actually pretty similar to Neptune conversation with Uranus in canon, except Neptune would be a lot less understanding and more angry because he thought they were friends and X lied.

X is distraught but continues with the challenges against the moons. From there, everything continues on as canon. Proteus confronts X (I’d have Proteus’ words mirror Neptune’s during their argument, for that extra sprinkle of ✨angst✨), he flees, has a conversation with Jupiter, and leaves the solar system.

This would probably affect the next arc more than anything (especially bc I believe that it’ll probably focus on Uranus/Caelus), but since that’s not out yet… yeah. That’s my take on this idea!!

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓🐓

117 for 🐓:

---

 His first thought is sort of dramatic. Thieves. Thieves are coming for Buck and Mrs. Gladwell’s homes! To be fair, he heard a lot of Athena stories at Chrismtas dinner. 

He pauses his podcast and listens for a minute. And it is in listening that everything changes. 

“You have a key, just use a key,” comes a very familiar voice. Albeit, one he has not heard in person in half a year. 

“I can’t do that,” replies his favorite voice ever. 

Buck stiffens. What… What are they doing here?

“Why not? He gave it to you,” Chris says.

“Because he doesn’t know we’re here,” Eddie replies. “We can’t just barge into his house. What if…” 

“What if what? He’s not even home.” 

“Uh, nothing. It’s just rude. We can’t. We’ll just wait and surprise him when he gets here. It’s usually around this time.” 

Buck is grinning. He’s grinning. They came to surprise him? For New Year’s? That’s incredible.

“Okay, but, Dad, I really have to pee.” 

“Shoot. Fine, okay. We’ll unlock it, you go in there, and then come right back out and we’ll make it look like you never broke in.”

Buck is about to laugh out loud. Seems as good a time as any to give himself away.

“Or,” he says, walking around the corner and into view. Not just their view. Their view. He can see them. Right in front of him. Real. “I can unlock the door, and you don’t have to pretend anything.”

Eddie and Chris whip around to look at him. Christopher’s face breaks out in a huge, warm smile. 

“Buck! You’re here!” He beams. 

“I’m here?” Buck asks, striding over to them. “You’re here!”

He bends - though far less than he used to have to - to hug Chris. He wraps one arm around him, grabbing Eddie’s forearm with the other and squeezing. Like he needs to touch them both to make sure they’re actually real. 

“Surprise,” Eddie says sort of weakly. His voice sounds tight. 

Buck shifts his body a little, drops the hand holding Eddie’s arm, and opens the hug. 

“Come on, man, don’t make me choose,” he pleads.

Eddie laughs, then wraps his arms around both of them. For a too-short, precious moment, it’s all okay. Everything is okay. Something that has been broken since the spring is whole, and Buck feels a bone-deep sense of ease. He’s okay. They’re okay. They’re here. 

When Buck pulls away, he can’t hide the tears in his eyes. 

“Um, Buck,” Chris says.

“Yeah?” Buck asks.

“I love you and I missed you but can you open the door so I can pee?” 

Eddie and Buck both laugh. Buck steps in, pulls out his keys, and unlocks the door. 

“Make yourself at home,” Buck says. Like, please? Home. In this city. Where they belong?

Once Chris is gone, Buck turns to Eddie and pulls him into another hug. And… And it’s a bit different from the way they usually hug. For one, Buck is holding onto him so tight it hurts his arms. Two, Eddie lets his head drop onto Buck’s shoulder. It’s strangely intimate, for nothing at all happening. 

“What are you doing here?” Buck asks breathlessly when they part.

Eddie’s cheeks flush. “I miss you.”

“Eddie, god. I miss you, too.”

“Uh… I have something to say, and… And, I mean, I took a pretty big shot coming here, so can you listen before commenting?”

Buck blinks, surprised. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

Eddie nods and takes a deep breath. 

“I almost ruined my whole life this year, at various different points,” Eddie says. 

Buck frowns. Damn.

“And I don’t think I realized just how close I was to really sealing the deal, but luckily… Luckily, I have a pretty observant kid.”

Buck wants to cry. They must be really talking to each other again. They must be… Oh god. Chris came here. With Eddie. Are they back under one roof?

“One of the mistakes I made, clearly, was thinking I could… That I could just be somewhere you aren’t without being miserable.”

Buck can’t help the way his jaw just sort of drops. That’s like… The most romantic thing anyone has ever said to him! And it wasn’t even said romantically! Wait. Right? It wasn’t said romantically, right? 

[skekilla]

my brain is rotting out of my s kull boys

anyway heres from my au, pomni and ragatha talking about just trying to tell caine life in the circus sucks and they all want things to change sdfdfs

ANYWAY I BLACKED OUT AND ENDED UP WRITING A THREE PAGE SHORT FANFIC ABOUT THIS SCENE SO.... here goes ugh

Everything was quiet out there, in the big room scattered with blocks and suspended domes of darkened skyboxes. Pomni stood on the balcony. She stared up, along the spirals and ledges, into the Circus’ simulation of nighttime. She didn’t know what made her leave her room and come out there, but she did know she didn’t care for more nightmares like the ones last night brought. Then again, after everything that day—the funeral—she did doubt the likelihood of anything similar to that coming true. She hoped it wouldn’t, anyway.

“Can’t sleep?”

Pomni startled at the sound, whirled around. “Ragatha! Ah… w-why? Should we not… be out here at night?”

Ragatha chuckled, coming closer. “Oh, no, you’re good! Don’t worry about that.” She came to a stop beside Pomni, a few feet away. Her one vaguely humanoid eye glanced up into the night sky. “I just heard your door—I have trouble sleeping too, even after all this time, so I was awake—and I thought you might want someone to talk to. Only if you want, of course!”

“Oh. Okay.”

An awkward pause stretched between them. “Do you… want to talk, or…? I know you had a big day, with that NPC and whatnot, so…”

The shapes of the Circus floor sparkled like a deathly burst of confetti in Pomni’s mind for just a second. She squeezed her eyes shut. “No. No thanks. I just…”

Ragatha’s hands rose to try to comfort Pomni, but hesitated before they actually got close enough. Instead, she clasped them together in front of her. “That’s okay. It’s not easy to get used to. I can go.”

“No, it’s fine. I just—” It was rare that Pomni ever felt choked up. At least, she felt in her subconscious that it was—not that she remembered anything distinct about life before… this. For some reason, though, everything was washing over her right then. Maybe it was Ragatha trying to get her to talk that was drawing it out of her, or maybe it had just finally all caught up to her. Either way, her gloved hands clenched into fists and she held her breath. She wasn’t sure if she even could cry, but she didn’t want to. Not to someone who was basically still a stranger. Albeit a nice one.

It had been a long time since Ragatha had seen anyone but Gangle on the brink of tears. She almost didn’t know what to do—almost. She sat down on the checkered floor, patted the ground by Pomni’s feet. She smiled up at her. Pomni stood still for a moment, unsure, before she finally sank down.

“Don’t worry about talking, if you don’t want to!” Ragatha said.

But words were already tumbling out of Pomni’s mouth, strangled against her tense vocal chords. “I just don’t understand why,” she said. “Why am I here? Why are any of us here? Why did they do this to us, what- what could any of us have done to deserve being- trapped? Controlled? Why…” She shook her head, eyes towards the ceiling and skies again. She let her back meet the floor. “Why?”

Ragatha started to say something, but stopped herself and thought it over. Trying to act like there was any answer to that wasn’t helpful. She knew that by then. After a second, she laid down too. “I don’t know,” she said. “I’m sorry, Pomni. It’s just the way things are—how Caine runs them. There’s nothing any of us can do.”

“Why not?!” Pomni’s voice broke a little. She took a breath, calmed herself. “There has to be something. It can’t… it can’t be impossible to leave. It can’t!”

“I’m sorry,” Ragatha said again. “Believe me, if any real ‘exit’ existed, we’d probably have found it by now. The only way to change anything here is through Caine, and… well…”

Pomni inhaled. “Well what?”

“Well… letting us go isn’t in his program. Making us ‘happy’ is. That’s it. There’s no changing him.”

Pomni’s hands rose to her face. For a moment, she just stayed like that. Then something came to her. “But he’s not making us happy.”

“Yeah…”

Pomni’s head rose. “Does he know that?”

Something between surprise and confusion filled Ragatha’s face. “I… don’t know. He keeps trying the same stuff again and again, so… probably no.”

Things began to click into place in Pomni’s mind. “Then… then maybe we could tell him! Get him to change things! Let us have more say and… and maybe, eventually, leave. If he is made to make us happy, then he’ll listen if we all say we really, sincerely aren’t. Right?”

Ragatha thought about her words. “I mean,” she began, “I don’t remember anyone really trying anything like that in the time I’ve been here—not like what you’re saying, anyway. Maybe… maybe.”

“Then we have to. We have to try.”

Ragatha looked over at Pomni. The desperation she heard in her voice made her nervous, but the hope that came with it was swaying her. “Well… it could be worth a shot!” Pomni looked back at her, the simulated moonlight flickering in her red and blue eyes. The hope in them was growing stronger. It lifted Ragatha in a way she hadn’t been lifted in a long time and crushed her all at once; a wave of guilt came with the joy. Pomni would be disappointed, and Ragatha knew it. Trying to mitigate her optimism, she added, “I mean… it’s not like things can get much worse.”

Pomni’s eyes flicked back upwards. Disappointment, to a smaller degree, had already pricked her with just those doubtful words. “Right.”

Even more guilt filled Ragatha. “I can help bring it up to everyone else tomorrow,” she offered. “I really do think it’s something to try. I’ll stand by you on it!”

Pomni took a deep breath. Her voice was stable again, her breathing steadied by the hands she rested on her stomach. It was worth trying. Anything was worth trying at that point. Like Ragatha said, what could get worse? She shoved the doubts away, to the back of her mind—still very much there, but hidden behind determination. “Okay. Tomorrow.”

Ragatha smiled a little. Pomni didn’t. She just stared up. Silence hung between them again, though it wasn’t awkward anymore; it was tense, filled with fragile hopes, fluffy clouds drifting and evaporating in the sky. Yet, somehow, they both felt a kind of security in it. Security in chance.

“I really, really hope this works,” Pomni said.

“It… probably won’t, if I’m being honest,” Ragatha couldn’t help but say, a nervous chuckle punctuating her words.

“I-I know. Still.”

Something twinged in Ragatha’s chest that made her smile all the more sincerely. Some kind of familiarity maybe, or care, or… maybe a bit of her own hope, awoken after so long. “Well… that’s sure a breath of fresh air around here.” She closed her eye. “I like that about you, Pomni.”

Pomni glanced at Ragatha for a second, but she heard right. Maybe she did have a friend in the Circus after all. Maybe what she guessed after the funeral earlier was right. Maybe, even if whatever happened tomorrow didn’t go as planned, everything would be okay. Somehow.