#master pandemonium

[thestarlightforge]

Why “I’m Billy Maximoff” Mattered to Me — A Queer Disabled Person’s Journal

10/17/24

***

Call it silly if you like. But I feel actually healed. Because these stories, they’re not just “superheroes”—they’re modern mythology. They’re how we teach each other and our children who deserves a place in the world.

When I watched WandaVision, like a lot of people, I identified with Wanda’s grief/depression/trauma journeys. And of course saw myself in the queer kids she gave a loving home, more so the more Young Avengers books I read. But with the WandaVision versions of Billy and Tommy in particular—more so even than the comic books—I also read into it the disability/childhood terminal illness allegory. It’s something on Schaeffer’s mind while writing them—leaked audition tapes from actors not cast as the boys revealed as much—even if it didn’t occur to all the viewers.

But I wasn’t supposed to live, either. Wasn’t even supposed to be born.

I don’t talk about it a lot because it’s hard to talk about. But when my mom was pregnant with me, doctors in Tennessee (pro-life peons they claim to be; it’s all an act) tried to get my parents to late term abort me, all because of a genetic condition they suspected I had—which I don’t even have lol, turns out I had a different handful of impairments, but anyways. A lot of people with the genetic conditions I DO have die within two hours of being born. My whole childhood was spent ducking in and out of hospitals, I had eleven major surgeries and almost died a dozen or so times before I turned twenty… I am so pro-choice it’s insane, but I was one of the “inspiration porn” kids that white, southern Republicans used in their crusades, screaming their “pro-life” BS at the Democrats who gave MY mom the right to choose my life.

I know. It’s WILD.

All that to say, though: It hit me in a particular place when Wanda married her trans husband, had queer kids who the entire world screamed at her (either weren’t real or) shouldn’t have been allowed to live, and then believed in them and loved them. With her everything. Thanked her queer, disabled kids for the honor, for choosing her to be their mom. (And Multiverse of Madness asked us to hate her. It baffles me to this day.) She didn't give up on them, did everything in her power to rescue them on the faintest hope they had survived (calling out for help in the Darkhold), even as some of the most powerful mages on SEVERAL worlds gaslit her for years... And when the gaslighters finally convinced her they were right, she destroyed the artifact that could be used to hurt anyone like her boys ever again.

For years, since Schaeffer had to relinquish creative control to the Multiverse of Madness team, I have felt that “the only creator amongst my favorite stories who feels like I belong has had to let us go, and the people who follow her don’t even believe we deserve a chance… we’re crazy, imaginary, and the world is better off without us.”

A slam-the-door narrative, Doctor Pandemonium & Avengers: Disassembled come again, the likes of which Byrne & Bendis would be proud.

But Agatha is an anti-hero/anti-villain story about ALL misunderstood, outcast people who deserve a second chance, no matter what the world may think.

The fact that Billy’s story in the MCU is now a meta-commentary on that publication history narrative… That Schaeffer took the episode to say, “I don’t know how many times or in how many different ways I’m gonna have to spell this out for y’all, but Wanda’s kids are HERS. They are and were REAL. They have their OWN SOULS and they BOTH DESERVE to FIND THEMSELVES and FIND LOVE and LIVE.”

I can’t think of a better way to have honored us. 💙

“It’s nice to see you again, Billy” 😭

(for the record, Agatha saying this totally genuine and with tears in her eyes—she will never be a villain to me, not ever again 💜🖤)

Thank y’all for listening. ❤️

This one’s for Tommy 🥹💚

[batcavescolony]

Gotta love Tommy Shepherd, he's got like four sets of parental figures that could care about him but he either feels awkward around them or they just apparently forgot he exists. Like the only semi ok adult in his life is Master Pandemonium, who he's taking care of but he at least interacts with him.

[ughigottaheadache]

Further addition to this post.

Fixer Upper.

Tommy has a realisation as he lays down the tarp, taping it down and covering the skirting boards.

Or, more of a question.

Did Wanda and Vis do this? Decades ago, did his parents prepare the walls of this house to be painted?

He could easily believe it, a picture of extreme domestic bliss, newly wed, thinking of the future. Maybe his mother wore her most messed up shirt and pants too, maybe his father balanced the paint lid on his fingers too, getting a glob of paint to lay down a colour sample. Did they ache over the paint finish like he did? How long did it take them to choose the shade?

They clearly went with a rich burgundy, he was still picking out the paint chips to prove it. He was half tempted to just replicate their choices when he started.

But that would feel wrong.

It had felt wrong when he just arranged the kitchen in an order he vaguely remembered, half memory half relying on what was left of the previously decrepit space.

An imitation of the past, just what he wanted, but it rung hollow.

Maybe he’d done it wrong. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be the same ever again.

But that didn’t mean it couldn’t be made his.

-

Up the Hill

A flyer.

Some poor quality photocopies of a hand scribbled address and time. A garage sale, just a few blocks down from him and Martin.

It could be worth a visit, even just for bed sheets and Tupperware.

A slightly hot early summer day is when he goes, cash in his bag and shoes tied tight. There’s only two other people on the grass out front, only one has the classic fanny pack slung on her hip, she smiles wide at him, waving him over near a tall vanity, a beautiful on at that.

“Hey.”

“Hello, you’re not a familiar face, hear about this through Facebook or something?” Her accent is so New Jersey that he can’t help but smile.

“Nope, got a flyer. Can I ask, is the sale only the stuff outside?”

“Oh goodness no, we’ve got so much to get rid of, we’ve got the garage set up, and just the first two rooms, anything with a sticker is for sale. Green is five, pink is ten, orange is fifteen, red is twenty, gold star stickers are anything above. You follow?”

“I follow.” She turns off to right some yard toys, so Tommy goes to jog up the stairs, not much on the lawn interested him. Maybe the long twin dressers and the vanity. Time would tell. There’s more people inside, and it’s only a few seconds until he sees what he’s really after.

Linens.

He didn’t know how passionately he would feel about bedding until he had a house to furnish and maintain, but life was funny like that. They were all in their original packaging, most of them stickered green, some pink, the only things he needed to know was the sizes and if the pillow cases were included. Next to the piles was a large crib, three gold stars stuck over a piece of painters tape.

Admittedly it was beautiful.

“My grandfather hand carved that.” The sale runner was next to him, her hand resting on the frame.

“Why sell it?”

“Got another one on the way, this’ll just take up too much room. Plus, sometimes grandfathers aren’t the nicest. Best to get rid of it.” Tommy had piled five sheet sets into the ones he wanted when he realised the woman’s eyes were burning into the side of his skull. Lifting his eyes brought a tighter look to her.

“We only put up flyers in the neighbourhood. I don’t think I’ve seen you… you do look halfway familiar. What street do you live in?” Tommy got the sense she wouldn’t leave him alone, he could just ignore her.

“Sherwood, up the hill, why do you ask? And can I buy these?” She went over them, telling him the cost, which he handed over.

“Not a lot of houses in Sherwood, not one of them’s been up for sale in decades.” She’s on a hunt for something, it’s obvious.

“2800 Sherwood, there, happy?” He’s intent on zipping out the door when she catches his attention.

“The Maximoff house? You’re sure? The one with the missing boys?” Missing? He and Billy were missing? Was that the story spun after they were taken from their mom?

“Missing boys?”

“Thomas and William, I knew them, they disappeared one day and their parents left soon after. 2800 Sherwood, you’re absolutely sure that’s the one you’re living in?”

“Yes, why?” She’s even closer now, so he backs up. She stares into his eyes, until some sort of realisation dawns on her, but her face scrunches like she can’t be sure.

“Tom? Is that you?”

He’s out the door before she can blink a second time.

-

Mandolin

Back and forth, back and forth.

The onions fly through the mandolin as he slices them, tub after tub of prepped vegetables are zipped to the front counter, his coworker busy with slotting bread loaves into the ovens, filling the cup towers and prepping the register.

Manual work had been the easiest Tommy could get into, something methodic and simple was a breeze. A quick and clean cut, like the mandolin.

Opening shift was the easiest. Martin usually woke up at ten, so opening at six to leave at nine thirty was convenient, a nice bargain his new employers struck with him. Anyone would trip over themselves to have a speedster on their payroll, no matter the job. His coworker, Ash, got to do any online work and just wait for customers while Tommy used the job as a way to zone out, expel energy and get money.

Back and forth, back and forth.

Back and forth his knife went through the tomatoes, the smells of the cooking meat to his side filling his nose.

Five minutes after Ash flipped the open sign, the bell jingled.

-

Red Carpet

It’s one at night when he gets woken up, a shout echoing in his ears. He’s all but flung himself out of bed, hopping over dirty laundry and his bag to burst into the hallway, already knocking where to go. Just a few doors down is Martin’s room.

“Master P?” There’s a lamp just by his door for this reason, it goes on and Tommy can see him, breathing heavy, halfway out of bed, a crazed look in his old eyes.

“Hey, P, hey man it’s okay, you’re safe.” He’s in front of the old guy, only slightly wincing at the iron grip that settles on his forearms. The orange lighting from the lamp casts his eyes in a strange shadow as Martin practically glares up at him, but Tommy has done this enough to know it’s not Tommy he’s seeing in his dream. It’s twenty seconds until the man’s face smooths, utter confusion following.

“A bad dream, Martin, you had a bad dream.”

“Nightmare.” The man corrects, softly, looking around his room warily, probably expecting his demons to jump out at him.

It’s late, if he doesn’t get Martin back down for sleep he’ll stay awake for hours, confused and tired. But when he does try to coax him into the sheets, he refuses, nearly growing belligerent so he relents.

He offers him a drink, some sleeping pills, music? And book?

But what comes out in a soft voice is;

“A walk, please.” It’s the middle of the night, he’s got a class to go to, getting active would make it even harder for Tommy to go to sleep, he shouldn’t agree-

“Okay, we’ll go for a walk.”

Less than thirty seconds later, Tommy has shoes and a coat on, Martin the same.

“The carpet should be red.” They’re walking down the hall, the stairs just a ways ahead.

“Why should it be red?”

“A red carpet always made me so happy.”

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers West Coast #51: I SING OF ARMS AND HEROES...

November, 1989

Guess who's BACK... and guess who aren't too sure they're HAPPY about it...

Well, Hank and Jan don't look too happy about it. Neither does US Agent. Lookit him frown, the gwumpy pumpkin. Wonder Man looks like he has dull surprise going on. I cannot fathom Robot Human Torch's expression. The man would do great at poker. Wanda looks like she's offended. That's a "how dare?!" expression if I've seen one. And Vision looks like he's staring directly at the sun and isn't sure why people keep screaming at him to stop.

So my guess is that Hank, Jan, John, and Wanda aren't happy about it and the others may or may not be happy about it.

They might have been more pleased to see Iron Man if he hadn't just flown through a perfectly good wall for no reason.

Last times in Avengers West Coast: Iron Man left the West Coast Avengers because of the Armor Wars arc in his own book. Wow, that was a while ago.

At the end of Armor Wars, Iron Man faked his own death by letting the government blow up an armor full of blood. When more Iron Manning was needed, Tony Stark just built a new suit and claimed he'd hired a new bodyguard/superhero.

And now, all these issues later, he's back to rejoin the Avengers because he's become more dependent on his armor due to stuff happening in his solo. He figures more time stuck in the armor, might as well be putting it to good use.

Also happening, Wanda has had the worst fucking period of her life (so far). Her husband got disassembled by the government, her teammates don't seem to care, her children keep blinking in and out of existence whenever she's not paying attention, evil bacteria shoved her full of goo until she became a mutant supremacist, the robot Human Torch came back to life to take the hottest robot on the team role from Vision. Just a lot going on!

I sure did talk about Wanda a lot in this issue featuring Iron Man.

Anyway.

Iron Man.

What a shiny guy he is.

Yeah. The Avengers (West Coast) aren't thrilled to see Iron Man.

Because: who even is this Iron Man?

US Agent John Walker is not privy to all the details of Iron Man's identity. But he does know that the original Iron Man was supposedly killed and a new guy took over.

Original Iron Man may have been a founder of the Avengers but New Iron Man is just Some Guy. Some Guy who can fuck off if he thinks he gets to swan in and get automatically put on the team.

Iron Man understands that he doesn't get any special consideration and says he's willing to go through whatever initiation process the Avengers consider necessary.

US Agent is a big company man so even though he's maybe the leader of the Avengers possibly? (he's done literally zero leading and nearly zero interacting with the team), he storms off to go call his handlers in Washington so they can tell him what to do.

With him gone, that just leaves Hank, Wasp, and Wonder Man who all know that Tony Stark is Iron Man. Or was. They know that at certain points, Tony Stark has been Iron Man.

(Way to just spill the beans in front of an Iron Man that you don't know whether he's Tony or not, guys)

So they ask Iron Man straight up if he's Tony.

For some reason that would probably make sense if I was reading Iron Man, Iron Man apologizes and says he can't say.

I do want to read olde Iron Man. One of these days, I want to dig into that backlog. He's one of the prominent Marvel characters I haven't read significant material from pre-2000.

Anyway.

On the other side of the compound, Scarlet Wanda and Vision.

Wanda is in a mood. Because she's been in a mood Byrne's whole run because shit keeps happening to her. Possibly goo related shit.

Vision: "It surprises me that you did not wish to stay for the meeting with Iron man, my wife. I am curious as to your reason..." Scarlet Witch: "Please, Vision... I know you're programmed to use words like 'surprised' and 'curious,' but I wish you wouldn't. It only emphasizes how much more robotic you've become." Vision: "My apologies, Wanda. It was my impression you wished me to sound as human as possible." Scarlet Witch: "Human? Why would I wish that, husband? Why would any mutant worthy of the name wish to associate herself with humans?" Vision: "And yet... you are a mutant, and for years, you have gladly associated with the Avengers -- most of whom are human." Scarlet Witch: "A passing weakness, Vision."

Okay. Seriously. Did nobody think to de-gooify her after that Absolom University adventure? Give her a medical check or anything?

I'm getting a little perturbed with how little a shit this era of the West Coast Avengers seem to give about each other.

Nobody noticed Tigra was going nuts. Nobody bothered to do anything as Wanda has clearly been emotionally spiraling. Wasp decides to help Wonder Man undermine Wanda's marriage.

You all suck.

Wanda is behaving like a jerk now but at least we know external factors contributed. The rest of you just suck.

Anyway, Wanda and Vision reach their quarters and find Agatha Harkness waiting for them there.

Hi, Agatha.

Are you the Agatha that does horrible shit to Wanda to teach her something or the Agatha that's helpful without being traumatizing?

I feel like Wanda is a couple pieces of straw from just breaking so maybe considering the latter approach today.

Also, maybe consider calling ahead.

The last time Wanda and Vision saw Agatha, in the second Vision and the Scarlet Witch series, Agatha was burned at the stake.

She tells them that being burned at the stake sucked but that's not what she's here to talk about.

She's here to talk about Wanda's kids.

Wanda's weirdo kids. To talk about them and to understand what precisely they are.

Scarlet Witch: "They are only children. Normal in every way!" Agatha Harkness: "Normal, Wanda? With a mother who is a mutant and a father who is a synthezoid?"

Rude.

Agatha tells Wanda that her kids are far from normal and if she hadn't been busy resurrecting herself, she would have been here sooner.

Agatha Harkness: "But you already know yourself, that when you are not thinking about them... they disappear!"

Vision asks if that's true but Wanda denies it. BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY AS A GOOD MOM SHE IS ALWAYS THINKING OF HER KIDS AT ALL TIMES 100%.

Agatha pulls the nuh uh on this. There have been recent times where she was too distracted in battle or knocked unconscious where obviously she wasn't thinking about her kids. And wee baby Thomas and William just cease to exist during those times.

Remember those times? All those times they disappeared, freaking out the governesses? Who tried to report it to Wanda and got fired for it?

Wanda refuses to listen to this. Literally putting her hands over her ears and shouting she won't hear it.

Eesh.

Agatha tells Vision that Wanda will need his strength and love more than ever and oof is she behind the times. The government took away his capacity to love! Bad timing!

Elsewhere, up in the sky, a bird, a comet, a (robot) human torch!

Jim Hammond took off when the Avengers grouped up to meet with Iron Man. He took the time to fly over the countryside for about a half hour, just get an idea of how much things have changed.

And he's amazed! To him, it looks like 400 years have passed instead of just 40.

He lands back at the Avengers West Coast Compound and lands right into some drama without even trying.

Ann Raymond saw him being all human torchy and mistakes him for Toro. And when she realizes he's Jim Hammond instead, she, of course, gets upset because for an instant she let her hopes get up and now she's been reconfronted with the fact that her husband died in an entirely stupid and unnecessary way.

And now Jim knows Toro's dead too and is also emotionally staggered by the news.

Also: demons.

Flaming fireballs! Demons!!

Robot Human Torch gets immediately slapped into the pool. A sad casualty of being the first one the demons run into.

But Ann screaming alerted the other Avengers and they assemble and start walloping demons.

Hank Pym suggests that if a bunch of demons suddenly show up to the Avengers West Coast Compound, why there's only possible explanation.

Iron Man: "You mean it's MASTER PANDEMONIUM?? But the last we saw of him, he was being swept away by the river of oblivion... deep in the realm of Mephisto!"

Hank Pym makes a mental note of Iron Man knowing about the Avengers' last encounter with Master Pandemonium. Because Tony Stark Iron Man was on the team at the time. So is this Tony or did Tony just brief New Iron Man on all his Avengers' cases?

I don't know why Tony isn't telling the Avengers he's him so I don't know how tense it should be that Hank is piecing things together.

Anyway!

US Agent comes out to yell at the commotion and he's not really alarmed by a sudden invasion of demons. It does make him punchy so he starts punching.

Robot Human Torch pulls himself out of the pool. He's soaking wet but all he has to do is FLAME ON! to boil the water away.

Then he can "show these demonic delinquents how we used to deal with their kind back in the 50's!"

Did... you deal with a lot of demons in the 50's specifically?

Wasp takes note that the demons don't seem to be after anything and aren't really trying that hard to kill the Avengers. So why are they here?

Whoops, they're a distraction.

While the Avengers are outside fighting the demons, Master Pandemonium busts into Wanda and Vision's quarters right when Wanda is about to have a nervous breakdown over everything that's happened to her over the past few weeks.

Agatha Harkness tries to ward off the demons with her witchcraft but Master Pandemonium tries belches hellfire in her face.

Gross.

Vision tries to do the intangible fisting thing he does which either works great or doesn't work at all.

Whoops, this is one of the times it doesn't work at all.

Master Pandmemonium just blasts out demons from his arms to overwhelm Vision.

Leaving only Wanda to face him, as she boasts that nothing can withstand her hex power.

Although she seems to fend him off and force him to retreat, she doesn't notice until he's gone that one of his demons snuck behind her and yoinked the children.

He drags the poor, probably innocent tots down to probably Hell.

What does he want from them?

Well, first, he wants a captive audience to recap his entire backstory.

Villains gonna villain.

He was an actor man who drunk drove himself into a bad car crash that cost him his arm. As a big Hollywood type in the 80s, he was big into the occult?? Apparently? So he called upon dark powers, promising his soul for his arm back.

Mephisto was bored and decided this would be funny so he replaced the guy's arm with demons. And then he replaced all his limbs with demons.

Mephisto's sense of humor is beyond me.

He didn't want the guy's soul so he ripped it out, broke it into five pieces, and scattered them around.

Master Pandemonium has been searching for them since, trying to become whole.

He found one with the Cat Demon People of Tigra's origin. But whatever Englehart was planning for this dude, he didn't get around to. Guy got one soul piece back and then dropped out of the plot.

So Byrne is bringing back that plot thread.

Master Pandeominum declares to these two stupid children who don't understand any of this that kidnapping them will allow him to replace his missing 4/5ths of a soul much more efficiently than all his aimless searching up until now.

Now, I know where this is going already. It is renowned, infamously.

But try to make your best guesses before I get to the end of the issue. See how close you get.

Anyway.

In the pressing urgency of some innocent children being kidnapped... the Avengers all sit down to discuss classic sitcoms.

That's a fair response, to be honest.

But here's how the conversation unfolds.

Instead of leaping into action, the Avengers sit around and quiz Agatha on how she's alive again. Even though she keeps telling them it was fucking magic and it's not going to make sense to their science brains.

Wonder Man chimes in that HE's seen Bewitched so he can vouch for Agatha's point.

So Wanda starts yelling at him for talking about television when her children are kidnapped.

Wasp tells Wanda to settle down. Clearly they're treating this with all due urgency! Since, y'know, maybe her kids are fake as shit. Maybe they've just stopped existing again like all the governesses said.

And that's when Wanda does her a slap.

Granted, her mutant supremacy is not called for but, yeah, the Avengers are all a bunch of jerks now who can't muster a bit of urgency when a demon man kidnaps some children.

Wasp isn't even hurt because of her small size. But she is concerned that Wanda said that thing the way she did about humans.

Anyone else concerned? Nobody else reacting? Okay.

Wanda begs Agatha to help her follow Master Pandemonium.

I'm surprised we didn't start with that but I've already made clear how I feel about how the team is reacting to this.

Master Pandemonium tried to hide his path but Agatha took precautions when he first arrived so she can trace him. But Wanda can't do it alone! So... will the Avengers step up to action when a witch very lightly implies that they should?

Yes. They finally get their asses in gear and jump through the swirling magic portal.

Even US Agent agrees that where Wanda goes, the Avengers go too. Which is a big team player moment from the guy who doesn't seem to realize he's leading a superhero team.

Watching from the time Limbo that isn't the demonic Limbo or the game Limbo, Immortus freaks the fuck out.

This wasn't how things were supposed to go for his vague yet menacing plan!

And he can't do anything to alter the flow of events because, I dunno, he can't touch demonic realms. So if anything happens to Wanda, he won't be able to protect her!

Dun dun dun??

I wonder what his vague yet menacing evil plan needs Wanda for?

Back at the Avengers, Hank Pym asks Jim Hammond Human Torch to stay behind to watch the Compound.

So despite making a big deal about him joining the team last issue, with WANDA BRINGING HIM BACK FROM THE DEAD, he gets to sit on his ass for the rest of this story.

What a weird writing decision.

Byrne is all over the place with all the subplots he's juggling for this book and a lot of them just get backburnered hard.

Iron Man gets to go. And he hasn't even officially (re)joined the Avengers at this point. They don't even know if they can trust him because he won't admit to being Tony Stark to his closest friends, for some reason.

The Avengers and Iron Man arrive in a seemingly peaceful fairy tale glade but Agatha's floating head warns them not to trust it.

And the very scenery attacks them a few panels later so. Yeah. Floating Head Agatha called it.

In the distance, past all the killer foliage, Wasp spots a building made of twisted agony.

The Avengers fight their way through the angry vegetation and Scarlet Witch blows open the twisted agony fortress front door with her probability manipulation.

But they find that Master Pandemonium is ready for them. Waiting for them.

And he's done the dumbest thing possible.

He's attached Billy and Tommy to his arms so now he has literal baby hands.

It's horrifying.

It's also the dumbest thing possible.

He's so proud of himself for thinking of this.

Was this where you would have guessed him kidnapping some babies was going to go?

Also, jamming babies onto his arms seems to have filled in two points on the star shaped hole in his tum tum.

I used to like what a silly concept Master Pandemonium's entire deal was. But he's ruined it by going even dumber.

For shame, everything that went into making, publishing, and printing this comic book. For shame. You took a perfectly goofy villain and you ruined him.

Follow @essential-avengers and maybe like or reblog. I appreciate being appreciated.

[nickmarino]

Baby Hands

[doctorslippery]

A story about the Vision and Wanda debating which of their oldest friends to approach about donating sperm so they can have a baby. They want another child and would prefer to avoid the whole synthezoid sperm, mutant egg, Mephisto/Pandemonium, extra-dimensional, chaos magic BS that they went through before.

It comes down to Hercules, Clint, or Steve. Herc and Clint would do it. Herc would make incessant entreaties to do it the 'old fashioned' way. As a byproduct of the Super-Soldier formula, Steve may not be able to. In the end, Steve would do anything that Vision and Wanda wanted him to. Clint because he's loved her since the day he met her, and the Vision is like a brother to him, yeah, that too.

Tony and Hank Pym are jealous. Hank McCoy and Simon wonder why not them.

Pietro is jealous too, but that's a whole 'nother can of worms.

Sam, politely, keeps himself the hell out of this conversation because there are already enough things he doesn't want to have to explain to his mother.

Thor is off dealing with Loki almost Ragnarok-ing an alternate reality Asgard which in a couple months will erupt into the 616 reality for a summertime event across multiple comics.

[bringbackwendellvaughn]

[scarlet--wiccan]

In case anyone was curious about Pandemonium's demon baby arms, they're not Billy and Tommy-- at least, not in any way that matters. This has been a common misconceptions for years, to the point where even contemporary writers get it mixed up. Oliveira made jokes about it in his Voices Infinity Comic run, just last year.

Mephisto replaced Pandemonium's arms with living demons when they first formed their contract, well before Pandemonium went after Wanda and her kids. Back when he was known as Martin Preston, Pandemonium lost his right arm in a car accident. Mephisto offered Preston a deal-- his soul for a new arm-- but instead of simply healing Preston's body, Mephisto grafted demons onto his limbs. It was pretty gross.

Avengers West Coast #51

Anyways, this gave Pandemonium the power to use his own body as a conduit for summoning demons. His favorite thing to do in the 80s was remind people that his name means "abode of all demons," which is sort of true-- it actually just "all demons," but it's famously the capitol of Hell in Paradise Lost. The point is that demons live in his body.

Pandemonium absorbed baby Billy and Tommy into his arms in order to claim their soul fragments on behalf of Mephisto, although he'd been tricked into thinking it was his own soul being restored. Once he'd gathered all the pieces, Mephisto took them back by force, leaving Pandemonium with nothing but a pair of creepy monster hands. For some reason, the image of him with babies for arms became so iconic that artists just kept drawing him with Billy and Tommy on his hands, and now we're in this weird mess where some people seem to think Wanda's original babies are still stuck to this guy's body. I promise you, they're not.

[burningfudge]

West Coast Avengers (1985) #51

[toxictrannyfreak]

Ok, I cannot wait for next episode when there’s absolutely going to be some kind of explanation for how tf Teen is Wiccan, because with how camp the series has been so far, there’s a chance we do get Mephisto baby hands

[theguardianace]

bonus points if you put your farming methods in the tag, and if you’re saving, for who!!

[ssruis]

I want to say that my hoard of tsukasa cards is made even funnier given that 3/10 of them are lims, and 2 of those are some of the fan favorite lims, but I refuse to MR2 either of those and instead only master ranked what is arguably his worst hair style for the sole purpose of pandemonium tiering (second priority) and ohe tiering (first priority)

[goodplayproductions]

1, 2, pandemonium

Found this in the Dungeon Masters Guide and I could not NOT share it

[ughigottaheadache]

Thinking ab my Tommy fic

Having ideas of metamorphosis, the Leonia house a cocoon

Fix starts off regular, very slowly derails as Tommy does when everyone seems to be leaving him

Tfw your breakup with your boyfriend-not-actually-boyfriend-bc-attachment-terrifies-you-bc-you-think-everyone-will-leave-and-he-leaves-you-anyway breaks up with you and you’re so heartbroken you accidentally gain a cult following and now all of a sudden ppl are paying attention to you and caring about you only after you’ve gone off the deep end.

But the old man you look after has been there for you, the old man who knows more about you than you do, who you gave a second chance, who will sit and listen to you. He will follow you for he cannot see another path.

The Weeping Shepherd and his Gate to Hell

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers West Coast #52: FRAGMENTS of a GREATER DARKNESS

December, 1989

Master Pandemonium reveals the untold secrets of his origin and -- the shocking truth about the Scarlet Witch's children!

Buddy, neither of those secrets will make you look less ridiculous with the lopsided, partially filled in pentagram hole in your tum tum or your ridiculous baby hands.

And I think John Byrne realized that the baby hands didn't quite have the impact he was hoping for because he makes them more grotesque imps on the cover but still look like babies attached to this man's hands in the inside art.

Mistakes have been made but stubbornly we preserve even when we shouldn't.

Speaking of mistakes: a little note to myself. I really should have done this issue to finish up the baby hands saga, then done Atlantis Attacks, then Avengers 311, then Avengers West Coast 53, then Avengers 312.

Sorry. Byrne writing both books means they're vaguely more interconnected than ever and then you have back to back company-wide events. I got mixed up.

And yeah, Wanda goes right from all of this baby hands stuff to being kidnapped and engaged to a snake elder god and then right into Acts of Vengeance. She's having a really bad life.

So last times in Avengers West Coast: Vision disassembled by the government. Put back together but loses his emotions. Wanda tricked by Texas college and pumped full of evil ooze that makes her racist. Later, she brings the robot Human Torch back to life in a fit of pique. Demons attack the Avengers West Coast Compound and while she's fighting Master Pandemonium, her babies get kidnapped. Her teammates don't seem to care but eventually agree to go with her to rescue them. When the Avengers track down Master Pandemonium, they see that he's jammed Wanda's babies onto his arms to be his hands.

The last time summary basically reads as 'shit keeps happening to specifically Wanda.'

This is supposed to be horrific. The previous page describes it as "a heart-wrenching tale of ultimate tragedy" but I am incapable of taking this seriously.

This man -- who was already kind of ridiculous as a character -- jammed babies onto his elbows and declared it makes him unbeatable.

This is his master plan. He is so proud of his accomplishment.

... Is he just going to use tiny baby hands for all manual dexterity tasks from now on? Is he going to pick up a sandwich with their tiny hands and bring it up to his mouth to eat? Is he going to hold a toothbrush with a baby hand and then brush his teeth? Actually, all hygiene tasks are going to be awkward and horrible like this.

THIS IS WORSE IN EVERY WAY THAN JUST HAVING NORMAL HANDS.

Wonder Man cautions that they'll need to be careful fighting Master Pandemonium since he has Tommy and Billy as human shields but Master Pandemonium laughs that Tommy and Billy can't be harmed because they're part of him and he's unbeatable.

Then he makes Tommy hand shoot demonfire with his tinier hands.

Don't try to make me like this through sheer ridiculousness, John.

Iron Man tries blasting Master Pandemonium with a strong enough repulsor blast to destroy an office block but the guy no sells it.

Master P explains he just wanted to use the baby souls to replace what was missing from his (and he chose these specific babies because?) but coincidentally they happened to be two of his missing soul pieces!

Ain't that a lucky break for specifically Master P!

Anyway, he does the thing he does and shoots dozens of demons out of his arms. And guess what? The demons are buffed compared to before because they benefit from him getting 2/5s of his soul back!

Sure, okay.

US Agent orders the Avengers to leap into action and Wasp thinks he sounded almost as impressive as Captain America there.

All he said was "Well, don't just stand there gaping! Demons they may be... but we're Avengers! Lets show 'em what that means!"

You're too easily impressed, Wasp.

Anyway, she shoots at a demon with her Wasp's Sting but the demon explodes into a hundred smaller demons. So Dr Pym pulls out a needle gun and shoots hundreds of needles to shred the wings of the hundred demons.

Damn, Pym. Brutal.

Vision strolls through the horde of demons, confident that his intangibility makes him untouchable.

Then a demon breaks his neck.

Damn. That'd be brutal if it wasn't Vision and if Wonder Man didn't explicitly state in the next panel that Vision can recover from that.

Wonder Man manages to make his way through the demons with less neck breaking than Vision and tackles Master Pandemonium.

He tries to pin Master P's arms at his side so he can't use Billy and Tommy to cast spells but one of the baby hands twists out of his grasp and bites his entire head.

Back on Earth, the Robot Human Torch flies above the Avengers West Coast Compound.

This is. A weird trend, actually. The issue after he was revived, I think he was introduced flying above the Compound and then landing. When he appears in Atlantis Attacks, he's flying above the Compound and then landing.

Is this stock footage?

But in this instance, he was making sure there were no more demons left. He also sees a weird tiny cat dashing into the bushes when he lands but he dismisses it as something to ask about later.

... Did Tigra get out? Dammit, Hank!

Jim Hammond, Robot Human Torch, heads back inside and sees that Agatha Harkness is just staring off at nothing.

So he decides to recap Master Pandemonium's whole deal to Ann Raymond, since she's around and doesn't already know.

You know the deal. Martin Preston (who has the same initials as Master Pandemonium? Wow) was a devil worshiping movie executive (retcon from being an actor) who drunk drove his way into a bad accident that cost his arm. He called for demons or whatever to save him so Mephisto appeared and replaced all of his limbs with demons. For laughs. He also took Martin's soul, ripped it into five and scattered them around the universe. Also for laughs.

Jim Hammond's recap calls the star-shaped hole in Master P's tum tum a "star-shaped scar" and bullshit. That is a whole. It has a suggestion of depth. It was a fight choreography detail that Wonder Man punched through the hole when he was trying to deck Master P.

It's not a scar, John. It's a star-shaped hole in his tum tum. GOD.

Anyway. Ann Raymond says cool story but what the fuck does this have to do with anything? Why is he kidnapping babies?

Agatha Harkness rouses from her weird trance to deliver some retcon exposition.

Remember when Vision dry-humped babies into Wanda because she was channeling a ludicrous amount of magic through her and through magic all things are possible, including spontaneous pregnancy?

Fuck you. Only god can create life.

(It is so fucking weird for Agatha Harkness of all people to say that only god can create life. She's been burned at the stake. Multiple times.)

Anyway, Agatha says that all along, Wanda's babies were "manifestations of Wanda's will. One small step beyond illusion."

How come Dr Strange never noticed if he oversaw the birth?

Stop asking Agatha Harkness questions. She has stuff to do.

To get Jim to shut up with his concerns about the Avengers, she reassures him that she has her cat familiar keeping an eye on them so she'll definitely know if they need help.

Cue the montage of the Avengers needing all the help.

Let's see. Hank has been grabbed by the ghoulies. Wasp is being eaten by a Murloc. US Agent is... blobbed? Iron Man is being bear hugged by an electric vantablack thingie. Scarlet Witch is holding hands with a horrible troll (because she needs to gesture to do stuff). And Wonder Man is being eaten by the baby hand.

Which still looks ridiculous.

Hm. But that might solve the question of how Master Pandemonium is going to eat with toddlers for hands. Maybe he can just eat through them.

Master Pandemonium decides that since absorbing some babies worked out so well, he's going to power up his baby hands by feeding them Wanda's soul.

He's just doing whatever pops into his head.

Dr Pym interrupts and tells Master Pandemonium that there's a huge inconsistency with his story. He says that Tommy and Billy are two of his missing soul pieces but then how come they were born before Master P met Mephisto?

Which... I guess is a date that Hank knows?

Because someone always has to be spying on the Avengers and Immortus already said he can't for this story, Mephisto is spying on things play out. From his throne of agony.

Mephisto smirks to himself that Master Pandemonium has no idea what's really going on.

SO HERE'S THE REAL STORY.

Narrated by Mephisto to No One In Particular.

So, Franklin blew up Mephisto once, back in Fantastic Four #277. I have no idea why the Fantastic Four were fighting A Devil. But Mephisto was eventually able to mostly recombobulate himself.

But missing five pieces of his essence.

(Do you see where this is going?)

Him jamming demons on Martin Preston's limbs and making a star-shaped hole in his tum tum wasn't just for laughs. It was to trick specifically this dude and only this dude no other dudes into searching for the missing Mephisto pieces while thinking it was his own missing soul.

In fact, Martin never lost his soul at all.

Master Pandemonium reacts badly to the news (from Hank, he can't hear Mephisto). He accuses Hank and Wanda of lying.

Anyway, then a portal opens and Jim Hammond the Robot Human Torch strolls out with the last two missing pieces of Master Pandemonium's soul but actually of Mephisto. And he promises to just give them to the dude if he promises the Avengers will be released unharmed.

Master Pandemonium agrees but as soon as Jim hands over the glowy things, he reneges.

Master Pandemonium: "With my soul fully restored, I need not be bound by the promises I give mere mortals! By turning the fragments over to me, you have signed your own death warrant!"

But when he places the last "soul pieces" there's still a piece missing. The center of the star.

And Master Pandemonium gets sucked into that hole.

Somehow.

In fact everything gets sucked into the pentagon shaped hole in his tum tum. The lair, the demons, everything but the Avengers. Leaving them in a blank void.

With Mephisto.

He tells everyone that all the soul pieces - including Billy and Tommy - have been restored to their proper place, ie Mephisto.

Then Agatha's cat digivolves into a bigger, scarier cat and everybody stands around narrating action that's just off-panel.

It is literally that scene from Gravity Falls.

John Byrne is a good comic artist.

Agatha Harkness contacts Wanda MAGICALLY. Wanda frets that Mephisto is going to destroy Ebony but Agatha dismisses her worries because Eboy is made of stronger stuff.

But this is all just a diversion, to buy time for Wanda to resolve this plot.

Agatha commands Wanda to open her mind and soul to her and then I guess something happens.

Something sure happens.

And everybody is back at the Avengers West Coast compound. With Mephisto defeated? Gone? Gotten bored and wandered off? Like, he only showed up two pages ago and he wasn't even starting shit. Ebony started shit.

This isn't a great victory against the devil. This was Agatha slamming the 'end story' button.

It's time for Agatha to Explain It All.

You see, by absorbing Billy and Tommy, Mephisto left a weak point in his defenses because the kids were still tied to Wanda by the spell she used to create them.

AND THEN AGATHA GAVE WANDA MAGICAL AMNESIA ERASING HER MEMORY OF BILLY AND TOMMY

And this, for magic reasons, caused the devil to poof. For a little bit.

Agatha says that Billy and Tommy were never real. Just a hysterical pregnancy that was magically amplified and snagged two of the missing Mephisto pieces as a basis to make imaginary babies out of.

Wasp points out how fucked up it is that Wanda is going to wake up and learn that her babies are forever gone because they were the devil but, see, the amnesia takes care of that.

No pesky questions about missing children or crying over missing children or going on fruitless quests for missing children.

US Agent points out how fucked up it is to make a mother forget her children and Agatha says she's basically a mother figure to Wanda so she knows best.

I don't like this story in all kinds of ways.

Even if I only hated the plot and character direction, the art on this issue is bad. And lazy. Hiding an entire devil vs cat fight scene off-panel and having talking heads just tell us how it's going? For shame.

The action was lackluster. Having the entire team just get rocked by Master Pandemonium instead of being able to put up a fight like previous times.

And it was less interested in telling a good story than undoing previous stories.

The issue ends with a tease of Atlantis Attacks, so Wanda is going to have a terrible time immediately after having a terrible time immediately after having a terrible time immediately after having a terrible time.

Either John Byrne doesn't like Wanda or he's the kind of guy who breaks the things he likes.

I already covered Atlantis Attacks, whoops, so next week more Avengers West Coast as Wanda has a terrible time in Acts of Vengeance.

Follow @essential-avengers to psychically send Wanda Maximoff well wishes and maybe a beverage of choice. Like and reblog to make me happy.

[apotelesmaa]

If I full combo another master song without even trying before I fc ifuudoudou I’m going to fucking end it all