#real specific shit
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
hate when i make my ocs or self inserts have specific traits and then i go read fanfic the y/n has the same traits so it looks like im fuckin copying
#great minds think alike i guess#but i mean like#real specific shit#like how my pressure self insert cant speak bc of a throat injury#then i find a really good fic with the exact same thing#or like my pressure experiment oc has the ability to change the color of their skin/scales and they have white spots on their skin#and then the mc of a fic has the SAME FUCKING THING MAN#I SWEAR IM NOT COPYING#this is why i dont read fics when i first get into a fandom bc i dont wanna be influenced or accidentally rip off something#but then this happens
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
you dislike Luke Castellan because he disagreed with an oppressive government system and actually took action to change the abusive ways him and his peers have been forced to follow for millennia.
I dislike Luke Castellan because in the Titans Curse he manipulated Annabeth, who he raised as his little sister, into holding up the sky, the FUCKING sky, for over 20 hours and had the audacity to walk away as though he was completely apathetic towards it while she begged and pleaded with him to help her.
we are not the same.
#I agree with Luke’s beliefs 100%#I don’t agree with his actions#but I specifically remember Luke seeming real fucking unaffected while leaving Annabeth to endure being literally crushed to death#the rest of the halfbloods that joined the titans army had good intentions but Luke… oh boy#I’m sorry I can’t help but disagree with his actions#percy jackon and the olympians#luke castellan#annabeth chase#percy jackson#percy series#camp half blood#pjo hoo toa#some ppl in the comments pointed out shit I forgot ty guys#like the way he manipulated Silena and Annabeth because he knew they loved him is literally pedophillia 🤢🤮#I was cautious with my tags at first because I thought Luke apologists were gonna come at me with knives if I said more than necessary#but now I’m brave enough to admit I hate that man and no one can convince me otherwise
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
i like queerplatonic zelink not because i think them being strictly romantic is wrong but because i feel like its wildly in character for their levels of dramatics to have a relationship dynamic nobody but them understands
#text!#(specifically botw/totk zelink)#those lesbians can never do shit normally#queerplatonic zelink is sooo fucking real
17K notes
·
View notes
Text
Here's the thing though. The people who say they saw Jon watching them in their dreams didn't say anything about a monster version of him with glowing eyes or many eyes or floating or whatever.
I love a good monster Jon design but just think THINK about how scary it is that he isn't. You met a fairly normal guy once and you told him the worst thing that ever happened to you. Now that man is there staring blankly while you suffer, over and over. You don't understand why it's happening. There's nothing you can do. The man is still out there, somewhere.
#Tma#The Magnus archives#jonathan sims#For real correct me if I'm wrong bc it's been a while since I relistened#But in tma they never do a monster looking Jon right?#They do hints like with the voice or the sleeping with his eyes open#But they never say that he looks different#But with the dreams specifically tho#I love the ambiguity that comes with him not looking or acting like a monster#Like if he were some terrifying thing it's like oh shit fuck I've been tricked by a demon ghost monster#But if it's just SOME GUY#Who is he?#What does he want?#Why is he doing this? Does he hate you? Is he doing it on purpose?#Why does he work in an archive#how is this happening#It's so fucked I love it
456 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello I love your art!!! I was reading through your changeling au and Felix mentions that fae are creatures of mirth. They literally need attention to survive. But what kind of attention? I guess I'm wondering because Adrien has been in the public eye for a while now, but has been personally neglected for even longer. What does that mean for him? Is he starving? Is he in danger of dying? Does he even know it? (I assume not given he doesn't even know he's Fae).
If he is starving / in danger of starving who is the first to realize this?
it depends on the mirth, on the attention, on what it is they seek. Without making things too complicated - I don't like to define everything into neat little boxes after all, there's fun in nuance - Felix is just explaining from his experience, the Fae he was with tended to be "entertained" by certain aspects of their playing, which was the mirth that kept them relevant. Relevancy more than anything is really what keeps their wheels greased.
In Adrien's case though, the reason he's cloying for so many names and to have so many thralls and attendants is because he SHOULD be a more social creature and has been kept woefully alone. He is kinda starving in the way a fae starves - he's relevant, but only in an image his father constructs OF him, which means it isn't REALLY him - and he has no one to play with. No friends, no lovers, and no rivals, makes a very sad fae
#replies#did this make sense ? I have very specific lore in my brain for how this shit works#and it can be sort of confusing to parse#starving doesn't work the same for fae as it does for people#being creatures of mirth#its why they like sweet foods generally. they dont eat it to eat#they eat it to taste something sweet#they take people's names to have people to play with#to feed their desire for entertainment and relevancy#how do i put this another way... anyone in the crowd have adhd? or the tisms? you know hyperfixations#like REAL hyperfixations. not just “I'm interested in this��#I mean “I am legitimately unable to focus on anything BUT this one thing”#“I have made this thing apart of my personality and I need it to survive and I know everything about it and I NEED to talk to someone it”#imagine you exist. but you're the hyperfixation#and you exist... MORE. in a real way. when people focus on you. some aspect of you#want to mimic you or are apart of you or are owned by you. now youre more real.#like that.
752 notes
·
View notes
Text
mmmmmm read a disciple shen yuan/shizun luo binghe fanfic about two days ago where the first chapter was the Immortal Conference arc, and SQQ was the one who had to be pushed into the abyss (he was still the villain) except Luo Binghe was refusing and was like, lowkey losing his mind about SQQ being so close to the edge. SQQ ended up having to be the one to fall in himself because of the system's punishment system. The rest of the fic is leading up to that moment. But like, MMM i've been obsessively thinking about that first chapter for DAYS ever since.
now i've been in svsss for a grand total of *checks watch* a week. but god obsessed with that. I want to write/read a fic where disciple SQQ goes a little nuts down there. Like keep all of the things that make SQQ, SQQ, but just. Throw in a little bit more trauma in there. A little bit of a mental break. Let him go a little nuts as a treat. Just a tad unhinged. I wanna see him go, just a little, "god fuck it, i've tried so hard to change this shitty story's outcome and it feels like everything i've done has been for nothing. I'm going to die in this world no matter what I do, I've been doomed from the start, so might as well die the way I want to." and he just, breaks a little! Under all the stress.
He still retains the traits that makes shen yuan, shen yuan, like his overwhelming kindness. But he's just! yk. A little less patient. Paranoid. Jumpy. Colder. A little more aloof and closed off. A little more Shen Jiu. He's no asshole child abuser, but he was a Number One Hater in his past life and he's leaning into that old habit a little more now.
(On a totally coincidental not-at-all related note, there's not enough SJ-and-SY-are-the-same-people fics out there that i've found. This is totally unrelated...)
The Endless Abyss turns the mind into an over-sharpened blade, and SQQ is both fascinated and perhaps a little excited to explore a place that doesn't have a lot of info on it in the mortal realm, but still terrified out of his mind. And he's no Luo Binghe, he doesn't have the sheer brute strength and power to just bulldoze his way through, so he has to be a lot more sneaky and cunning if he wants to survive.
The fic itself role-swapped LBH and SQQ so that SQQ was the half-demon (which lowkey fucks) and LBH the human, but I'm equally-if-not-more obsessed with the idea that LBH remains the half-heavenly demon and SQQ the human. If only because I keep thinking about SQQ befriending some demons (particularly and specifically a group of succubi) and they grow very attached to this Human Cultivator so through magic plot stuff they create some kind of seal/illusion/talisman that makes SQQ appear as a demon because a human cultivator in the endless abyss may as well be the equivalent of putting a giant neon target on your back.
And iirc Shen Jiu was taught demonic cultivation by that one guy(?? i've only been here a week so im not caught up in ALL of the lore yet) so that could totally happen here.
(On the other end of the realms, poor Shizun Luo Binghe is just. losing his fucking mind over losing his most precious and beloved disciple. About .5 seconds from burning down the peaks himself. somebody sedate him.)
The Endless Abyss sucks and SQQ is having a really terrible time and can feel himself going lowkey mad, but also holy shit look at all this WORLD-BUILDING. look at all this flora and fauna, and oh if he had the equipment for it he'd be writing all of this down. ALL OF IT. He was kinda-sorta-already planning on never leaving the Abyss as some sort of fucked up self-exile and self-preservation thing, but now he might? actually just?? never leave if he can help it, like he lowkey likes it down here.
anyways the next time anyone ever sees SQQ again he's got hair so long its almost touching the ground and he's either in rags and half-feral or he's been completely dolled up by his adoptive succubi sisters and still about three seconds from biting anyone who tries to touch him. (he's also lowkey trying to book it back down to the abyss even if he has desperately missed all of his friends and shizun)
#mxtx svsss#svsss au#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#luo binghe#disciple shen yuan#scum villain#svsss#*points at SQQ/SY* i want him to go nuts. as a treat. let him crumble just a little over the stress of his fate and the stress of survival#and the stress of having a lack of autonomy over a handful of his decisions. starry craves angst and she craves a very specific SQQ angst#he was a number 1 hater back in the day and lbr being a hater takes energyyyy. ive heard that this man was the BIGGEST hater i wanna#see him rip a man to shreds with nothing but his tongue and a voice that could cut marble clean in half. skin a man alive sqq you deserve i#*mortal kombat voice* FINISH HIM#i love without-a-cure but unfortunately i dont think SQQ would be able to have WAC and also survive in the abyss.#the succubi nest that adopted him tried seducing him at first. it didn't work. but he did somehow charm them with his cringefail ways#so now they have a brand new mortal big/little brother to dote on. SQQ is frankly delighted to learn all about succubi culture that doesnt#revolve around sex. he makes quite a few friends/allies in the abyss because of his pure fascination and unbiased desire to learn about#demonic culture and all the different niches and nuances of it across species. he's still going insane tho. like that's not stopping.#there's a single LBH pov chapter in the fic and its frankly so unhinged it was fantastic. he's so possessive. he straight up goes:#'oh SQQ isnt gonna be the next peak lord. he's ascending to heaven with me when i do :)' when Sha Hualing (also peak lord) told him that he#couldn't keep his disciple in the bamboo house all the time. what was SQQ gonna do when LBH ascends and he becomes the new peak lord?#gosh that first chapter is rotating around in my mind so bad. LBH was SO unwell. like losing his actual shit over SQQ near the edge.#i so want to write a oneshot abt this where SQQ is also in hysterics (albeit over slightly diff reasons) and tells LBH on his knees:#'this disciple deeply apologizes to his shizun. for he will not be ascending to the heavens with him.' right before he falls into the abyss#this au being disciple SY is for shits and giggles but i can also see it happening for regular SQQ bc 'fuck it im a dead man either way'#frothing at the mouth at this idea also being a SY-is-SJ au too. for the extra angst of SQQ trying to bear the weight of multiple lives on#his shoulders and trying to figure out what is real and what isn't and if he's meant to suffer in all of his lives no matter what he does.#not once in his life has he ever been free to do what he likes has he? self-hatred to the max. he's going mad. poor boy :]
242 notes
·
View notes
Text
I know a normal amount abt waistcoats
#fantasy high junior year#riz gukgak#heard americans call those vests. deranged. thats not what that is#riz gukgak is a character made to target me specifically bc I am aroace and I love drawing formal menswear more than god#tho Ive been giving riz hard sole shoes which. wouldnt be good for stealth#I wear those I know. you can hear that shit through a meter of concrete#probably less important in a setting with real actual magic so its fine. but its something I do think abt#this kid is so fun to draw... its a Problem for me. I have to force myself to do my goddamn job knowing I could be drawing him instead#its a curse. I have to treat myself at the end of the day. sucks to be here so much
483 notes
·
View notes
Text
You ever think about how All Might has two male exes that both have a child with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a big heart?
#we also have like. absolutely no mention of melissa's mother as far as I know#all we know is that she's quirkless and that she calls Toshi Uncle Might#not only that but these two have such like.#insane attachments to All Might as the symbol of peace#both of them also representing how we was perceived and loved by others#and how these two loved him so much they were willing to go thru so much shit for him#aaaaa the doomed old man yaoi is so real#has anyone else noticed this. please tell me im not the only one.#it just CANT be a coincidence that they BOTH have Blonde hair. Blue eyes. AND are such good hearted and heroic kids.#you can see the evolution of All Might and Toshinori through the specific men he gets close to ngl.#ok. thats it for gay all might posting. the 2nd one for today omg.#evelynpr bnha#bnha#mha#my hero academia#melissa shield#togata mirio#david shield#sir nighteye#all might#yagi toshinori
141 notes
·
View notes
Text
#im still angry lol#why do people assume because you enjoy a cunty little villain#means you are defending them or whatever#this person was established to be a bad person early on#I am not shocked by the narrative following through on that#like brother they are not real lol#I understand hating a character for what they could do to another one#but I feel like its gotten to a point where people take it overwhelmingly personal???#and harshly judge other people for enjoying a fake character#like dude#I don't fuvk with cazador at ALL#I think he is yucky#but I don't think anything of people who enjoy him as a villain#because that's his point…..#he is a deplorable baddie….#a vile man…..#its fun to enjoy fictional pieces of shit lol#because they are not real…..#I'm gonna tag a couple villains lmao#enver gortash#cazador szarr#mizora#homestuck#bg3#orin the red#ketheric thorm#im tagging a lot of bg3 villains because I see this mindset on tiktok specifically a LOT#its weird…..
130 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sword PHIGHTING! period cramps moodboard
Gods mightiest warrior…….
Og image:
ANYWAYS EXTRA BITS!!!! So. Yeah. I wasted exactly 27 hours and 29 minutes of my life making this over a period of like. ~a week and a half LMAO????? I THINK IT WAS LONGER?? Yeah all of these are completely redrawn from the Og “panels”, replicating the dungeon meshi style is. MISERABLE I don’t know why I did this to myself holy fucking shit, all of you blame @squiffer-salad for this monstrosity she’s the reason why this exists in the first place /silly
anyways, I highly recommend looking at the panels individually because I put a lot of fun extra bits in them and just. A LOT of effort in general, any likes, reblog’s, or comments are insanely appreciated since this did take such a long time :’DDD, everything in these minus the backgrounds are completely redrawn/shaded/and colored by hand, this includes mid/screen tones as I used specific layers for those! anyways thank you for coming to my period cramp projection ted-talk I’m going back into my Everglade hole.
#JESUS FICKING CHRIST#WHEN I SAY#27+ HOURS#DUDE…….#FOR A SHIT POST….. THIS IS INSANE…… WHY DID I DO TJIS TO MYSELF#ANYWAYS now that I’m free from this fucking BEAST of a project I’m going to be working on a lot more comms/personal bits since I have much#More free time on my hands!#School is still kicking my ass but at least I’ve been doing well :3#Scored a 10/10 on a AP world test today! Probably gonna end up failing my math unit exam but oh well wouldn’t be the first /silly#Anyways for some smaller extra comments#I honestly don’t really know how I managed to commit to this if I’m gonna be real#This honestly was more of a test of endurance if anything and I think it came out really well especially since I’m not used#To spending THIS much time on a single piece#It taught me a lot too#Specifically more about midtone layers and different types of line art and such#Anyways yeah I am. So horrendously tired#More art soon though! I got stuff in the oven for reals!!!#art#phighting!#phighting#phighting fanart#digital art#phighting roblox#artists on tumblr#phighting art#roblox phighting#roblox#roblox art#roblox fanart#roblox game
184 notes
·
View notes
Text
Important tip for trans men/transmascs/whoever needs the reminder: Even if you pass as a man to cis people, you still need to have either some form of self-protection on you (e.g., mace, knives (if you can use them effectively), ect.) or know some form of self-defense. Please take it from me, you don't know what will happen out there at any given time.
You might assume that if you pass as a cis man to cis people, you will be safe from any harm. While I wish that were true, it simply isn't the world most of us live in. Please do whatever you can to protect yourself out there.
#trans#transgender#lgbt#lgbtq#ftm#nonbinary#ask to tag (genuine)#there's this idea that once you start passing as a man as a trans guy* that all your worries about attacks... disappear...#...but i'm going to be real my fears of being followed/sexually harassed/heckled/ect have increased by double...#...and i never felt the need to have self-protection before (which was kind of foolish even if i felt certain i was physically safe)...#...but honestly i think i really ought to start investing in this shit the more i pass#anyway please learn from my mistakes ♡#i talk about this a lot but it is a life-or-death level of importance to me#yes this goes for all trans people...#...i just call out other trans guys specifically because so many of us assume or are told we're immune to this type of violence
836 notes
·
View notes
Note
I understand being upset by the moonpaw dog post but i dont think talking about some random teen publicly (on a pretty big fandom blog) as opposed to like, dming them about it, is a very nice thing to do? Would recommend keeping that kinda gossip in dms going forward personally.
??????? "That kinda gossip???"
Saying that it's fucked up that a publicly posted incest joke about how deformed she should look went to the top of the Warrior Cats and Moonpaw tags, is gossip???
TRENDING TAGS?? GOSSIP?
I'm not talking about "some random teen," I have not even dropped a username and been VERY clear I don't want harassment of anyone. During this discussion about wider ableism against Moonpaw, I've directly answered two anons about the contents of a post that was/IS extremely popular to the tune of nearly a thousand notes.
One of those two asks was an anon who only stumbled in to say that the post was funny in a display of SHOCKING tonedeafness, while I was talking about how shitty it is to compare people who are the products of incest to unethical dog breeds, especially in the context of WC. The other was an actual XX/XY chimera who expressed that the extremely popular post hurt their feelings, and when they tried to express discomfort to someone, got told they "probably killed their twin in the womb."
It's not just one rando weenie little blog the minute half of the Tumblr space is openly laughing at a joke about deformed incest kids and hoping Moonpaw dies because she's so "gross." Not nice?? Your feelings are hurt? OTHER people's feelings were ALREADY hurt.
NOTHING about this was "nice" to begin with!
Difference is, when YOU cry me a river, you can build me a bridge, and get right the fuck over it. A person who's the product of incest cries and has to go right back to every shitty banjo-hunchback-hapsburg joke they've heard before, just feeling more unsafe about a space that PRETENDS to care about the abuse they experienced. If you feel guilty about that, maybe you should!
If you were under the impression I was ever "nice" about bigotry, you were mistaken. I don't appreciate calls for ME to be more polite when I'm at a trend of fandom ableism and calling it fucked up. I've named NO names. Sounds like what you ACTUALLY want is for people like me who have a platform to shut up.
#btw that person WAS contacted privately by someone and I did see the 'apology' they posted as a result.#Which was not an apology. They called people being upset 'virtue signalling'#I'm SO fucking sick of the parade of idiots coming into my inbox trying to tell me that none of this is a big deal#REAL fucking question actually; why are you people insisting that victims of incest be ENDLESSLY charitable towards open fucking mockery?#''What if they didn't mean it like that'' and ''oh maybe they just didn't know it was ableist to joke about inbreeding deformities''#I'm gonna be BRUTALLY honest with you because I'm this close to just gutting you all like fish instead; It feels like being gaslit#Half of these idiots come in here to say ''well maybe you interpreted it wrong maybe these other unrelated things are what you mean''#And then when I AM specific and AM targeted in a very particular thing I'm talking about#I get shit like THIS telling me it's mean to be so direct. Even if I was NOT very direct at all#I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. Like I'm crazy for reacting with anger.#So forgive me for not being as sweet and as patient as molasses pie#mooncourse
160 notes
·
View notes
Text
i know the whole "do you think jon ever used his powers to Know what his parents looked like" thing is far more devastating than this but what if he tried using his powers to remember original sasha? jon and sasha always seemed closer than the rest, he picked her (and tim) to work with him and tolerated a lot more nonsense from her than anyone else (using his password to access his computer [161], debating his pronunciation of calliope [25], etc)
and ofc jon and martin became significantly closer as the podcast went on, but in the beginning he was cruel to martin when he gave a statement but accepting of sasha? idk i think their friendship was a lot deeper than we realized (ESPECIALLY since his first murder in season 5 was because NotThem provoked him about sasha) and i think jon wouldve used his powers to Know the original sasha, not sure if it wouldve worked though
so so sorry to distract from the post but can yall read the tags for me because i suffered immensely for this post
#they make me ill#sasha was so cool i miss her every day#i think we need more sasha content#idk i wish we got more of them specifically#THIS POST. HAS CRASHED. 4. TIMES.#i am trying to write about the magnus archives and its like “hee hee tumbeast ate your post” give it the fuck back?#it saved to my drafts after the 4th tag but this is pissing me off#every time i try to tag it as “tma” it crashes so im not doing that#just pretend i did ok#16 more times total of 20 every time i try to write tags it crashes#it wont let me write the archivists name im genuinely so serious#please help me please help me#im gonna sit here for a second and let it save as draft#6 more times#ur joking#total of 26 crashes over this one post#hate to distract from my incredibly brilliant insight but this is unusable#i think its okay again actually?#gonna try tagging with real tags wish me luck#jonathan sims#jon sims#sasha james#tma#the magnus archives#the archivist#notthem#notsasha#tma theory#tma spoilers#holy shit it worked
257 notes
·
View notes
Text
one of the things in Life is that even the most radical or anti establishment of ventures, particularly anything involving “community” or “mutual aid” still relies on really normie skills to be accomplished if it wants to be effective for real human beings in the long run. Like a queer housing group or any kind of shelter is still a House that needs to be clean and have clean toilets. A radical off the grid farm is still a farm where the biological necessities of crops might very well require you to wake up at 5:00 AM for weeks on end in order to have a crop. A Union meeting still might need childcare from qualified individuals who can take care of a bunch of preschoolers for hours on end. An abortion fund is still a monetary operation with a flow of cash that needs to be taken care of. Any operation needs to have regularly scheduled meetings set up and attended in the long run. A lot of these things aren’t really negotiable based on vibe or ideology so much as things that need to be done here, in the real world, in order to make peoples lives better, and no amount of perfect buzzword ideology will change that.
#I think doing shit in real life makes you more of a normie like not less radical but more of a normie#The reality is a bunch of the things that last for a long time look and feel really normie because they are#And a lot of times other things flounder for really practical reasons that then get written off as The Whole Wide World was against us#There’s a real trend of it being specifically the people who want to run from [capitalist society] and [the institution] who#Want to start from scratch the things that will be in some way institutions or have normie issues if they’re successful
209 notes
·
View notes
Text
“the Undercity was just her charity project in season 1 and was just to defy her parents”
“she 100% wouldn’t have cared if she shot Isha”
“it’s been her plan all along-“
BANG
i’m going to need you to never speak on Arcane ever again
#caitvi#arcane#caitlyn kiramman#caitlyn arcane#arcane season 2#why are people acting like she intended to shoot Isha?#obviously her impulsivity was dangerous#saying shit like this just diminishes her entire character arc and writing#like she was written this specific way#regardless of how kind she was in season 1 and how much she cared it was easy to fall into hatred bc of her privilege#these are nuanced characters who are written this way for a reason#and don’t even get me started on the shit i’ve heard people say about Vi#also comparing her to a certain real life dictator is diabolical because you know damn well-
132 notes
·
View notes
Text
Mouthwashing thoughts assembled from my Discord messages with a friend while we both go apeshit about it
Spoilers this is your only warning because I will be getting RIGHT into it. Things are not organized super well it's all braindump baby. CW for game topics including sexual assault, torture, and general misery.
Jimmy's so certain everyone is or should be like him that he can't imagine anyone actually caring about other people. From Anya asking for any help and care whatsoever being a nuisance to him, to Swansea keeping watch at the utility room just trying to keep Daisuke safe and put him in that cryopod once everyone else was too far gone. This is unfathomable to Jimmy, who's first instinct upon learning they were all getting terminated was to belittle and shame everyone as a way to guilt Curly further. Of course including Curly himself, who was struggling (kind of having a midlife crisis) and putting on airs to keep everyone else calm and okay for this one last job. Jimmy is so sure of himself being able to fix things like Curly does, and figuring out how they can "both be heroes in this," that he makes a dying man eat his own flesh and then freezes him under the idea that this is GOOD and RIGHT. He doesn't care about the misery and pain Curly is in at this point. At first he seemed happy Curly was helpless and incapable. He seems to take satisfaction in volunteering to force-feed those painkillers, after he ridicules Anya first. He's so sure Curly should be grateful and thank him for all of this. He can't take responsibility even when he kills himself, all he does is reassure himself he did the best he could at every moment and fixed it all in the end. Curly will be miserable for the rest of the life he may or may not have. Jimmy got his, alright. Curly was feeling unsatisfied with his life, so isn't this better now? Curly says he doesn't want his life to feel like something he has to escape, but now his own mutilated body is the prison. While he watches and hears everyone else die, and he can't even try to fix it anymore. He missed his chance to do anything about Jimmy before it was too late. And when Jimmy says he can still fix this, make sure they survive and will be okay, Curly wheezes and laughs at him.
My take on Curly is that he did his best by and large, but he valued his relationship with Jimmy and trying to salvage it more than he should have especially when Anya told him she was raped. He is still a man in a place of power that didn't want to rock the boat too much, and that ended up enabling someone that would rather implode the whole fucking thing. After everything Anya still chose to die with him. She loved him(in the very least platonic but I know romantic was teased), still felt safest with him, and wanted to keep them both safe from Jimmy. So she locked them into a room together to die, quietly, away from him. Even if that made Curly witness as she overdosed and died. She had the gun hidden away with them, out of Jimmy's reach. Until Jimmy manipulates Daisuke into crawling up that vent, sentencing a young and hopeful man to a miserably painful death. Jimmy doesn't even respect Anya's authority and capability as the nurse (at all) enough to have listened when she said the mouthwash would be too sugary to use as an antiseptic. He still pours it onto Daisuke's wounds, because his short-sighted selfishness used up the entirety of the last bottle of antiseptic they had to poison Swansea.
(Daisuke is literally in an osha training video that's like "If you know it's dangerous don't do it! Even if a supervisor says so!")
By the end Jimmy only feels guilty for some of it. He knows he sentenced them all to a miserable death but he only feels guilty for Daisuke, and then Curly to a point. He doesn't really regret Swansea that much, it seems mostly like he's bothered he got caught (Swansea even tries leveling with him, to some extent--somewhere between a confessional and a final reach to see if he can be reached at all). He only worries about what having to deal with a baby might mean for him, but he doesn't give a shit about Anya at all. She's a non-issue in his mind, just some pathetic and poor girl that couldn't even get through schooling. He's only worried about the fact that a baby means he'd have to be responsible for it, and whatever discipline may come from the last remains of the company for sexually assaulting the nurse. Her suffering matters so little to him, if at all even considering he smears her entirely out of his perception while looking for antiseptic.
He's such an unreliable asshole he can't even confront himself, he has to use Curly and Polle as his conscience in his hallucinations.
The party scene is so intense. What a way to illustrate how off the deep end he is and it feels deserved. It's not just used to show he's insane and trying to cope by pretending they're all alive. It's everything he wanted. Praise, adoration, respect. Part of what I think is very interesting is he refuses to admit they're fully gone, but he doesn't necessarily deny their appearances. He isn't fixing them to look normal in his hallucinations, it's still their dead bodies he's propped up in chairs around him. Like a really weird coping mechanism to assure himself that its fine, he did it, he did a good job. Now he just needs to eat and celebrate with everyone! They just need to eat a little bit of Curly, get through one more meal, it'll be okay!
#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing spoilers#character analysis#like I said this is just disorganized collection of thoughts I've had about the game while going through it#I tried to keep things clumped together in a way that makes sense but I mostly just want to scream into the void about it some more#Everyone deserved better except for Jimmy. fuck him up lol#Jimmy is such a piece of shit. Murder death kill him#I was very specific about not just calling him a narcissist or whatever so please respect that if you choose to respond#Obviously he's not mentally healthy but don't be a dick and use a real diagnosis to lambast him as if it's The Asshole Disorder#One man's hope he could talk his friend down and make everything okay#vs another man's jealousy and disdain and hubris. an inability to look past himself and his own desires and what he thought he deserved
90 notes
·
View notes