#real fake quotes

[incorrectblockb]

the full context doesn't make this any less funny btw

[vaniloqu3nce]

Enid, coming back from the principal’s office: Wednesday! Why am I being called to the office for disappearing students!

Wednesday: You said you wanted our haunted dorm to win this year for most terrifying setting.

Enid: Most terrifying decorations, Wednesday. Please don’t tell me it was a real portal to hell. I thought you meant that figuratively! Like a haunted house gimmick!

Wednesday: It wasn’t a real portal to hell.

Enid, sighing in relief: Thank God, then what’s-

Wednesday: It was a portal to the in-between realm. I imagine they’re dealing with some very unhappy ghosts with unfinished business. Lucky.

Enid: …Wednesday

Wednesday: So what did Weems say? Did we win?

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

Well, you found me.

Congratulations.

Was it worth it?

Because despite your violent behavior, the only thing you've managed to break so far is my heart.

Audio source

[pinkeoni]

WILL BYERS IN EVERY EPISODE Episode #107: THE BATHTUB

[felizzlemynizzl]

[marvel-lous-guy]

Peter: Yknow that theory that no two people see colour exactly the same?

Tony: Oh god, not again

Peter: What if that means everyones fabourite colour is the same?

Tony: What? Why?

Peter: because your yellow could be my red, so both of our favourite coloures are my red. And Harleys green could be my red too-

Steve: -Peter, I appreciate your enthusiasm-

Clint: I don't

Steve: but now is not the time for it.

Peter: ...why not?

Tony: because we are in a quinjet above a Nazi base

Peter: oh, right, that. Sorry

[sharkaiju]

Ford about the memory gun: Do you really think that's a healthy coping mechanism?

Fiddleford: Oh not at all! Thanks for asking :)

[psychotrenny]

The obsession that some Liberals have with "Unity" and "Compromise" as inherently desirable ends unto themselves, rather than potentially applicable means, excellently demonstrates the foolishness of their idealist worldview. Like they believe that conflict happens because some people just don't like each other, that they were somehow infected with bad ideas that drive them to fight, and so you can solve all conflict by getting them to just start liking each other by believing good ideas of peace and love instead. The idea that some groups are opposed because of very real material reasons, that can't be banished with a change in attitude, is simply not something they consider. And so they value the mere act of resolving a conflict over the conditions that said resolution create.

While certain forms of unity and compromise are very useful to advancing a cause or movement, others are a waste of effort and resources and some lead to active disruption and damage. You need to consider the actual situation that you occupy, and the actual terms that this unity will be on, before you start advocating it. Like there's this quote I've seen attributed to the oral traditions of the Haitian people (although I've had trouble finding a source for this so take this supposed origin skeptically) that I think is worth keeping in mind: The unity of the chicken and the roach happens in the belly of the chicken

[gaylactic-fire]

Constantly fighting between "children are so much smarter than we give them credit for, and if I have to read another fic where a five year old does goo goo ga ga speak I'm going to crush my skull with a comically large hammer" and "a five year old would not fucking say that. How are you all falling for this??"

[literary-landscapes]

[leclercloml]

Footballers | Fake Text Part 4

(Jude Bellingham edition)

[deadpoolsmom]

one piece au where Garp just out the gate claims that Ace is Dragon’s son

Like what are the marines/Sengoku gonna do - ask Dragon to verify? Track down the world’s most wanted man for a paternity test?

“Wouldn’t Dragon care / contradict this?” Dragon is intentionally not associated with his actual son, so 50/50 he’d even know. And what is he gonna care the government think he has 2 kids by 2 moms? He’s not gonna tell them anything. He’d probably let them believe that to fuck w them + so the son of another of their enemies lives free / isn’t targeted for his blood

“Portgas D Rouge was an associate of Roger and they were specifically looking for a baby” Well maybe she had questionable taste after his death. Dragon was already a Revolutionary at that point, so it’s not like the WG know what he is doing.

“Why does Ace use his mother’s family name?” He loves his mom and thinks his “dad’s” a deadbeat

“Why doesn’t Luffy then?” Same as canon. Garp still doesn’t know it and Luffy doesn’t care about dads

I don’t think it would necessarily solve Marineford or make it so that Ace survives, but I do think it would be extremely funny

[universetalkz]

Being real

Is hard

And fake people

Leave scars

They turn a blind eye

And leave it up to the stars

[jiminy-crickets]

He’s so completely devoid of swag, negative aura, completely sexless, no maidens, once called a sex line just to chat about the weather, he can’t move the car because he’s at practice in chycawgo, people who know him aren’t sure if he’s ever eaten a cookie, he rushes home after games to watch his old team play, he was actually black until he was 15, he carried back to back to back teams in scoring, and he is a Lululemon ambassador.

[angelsdean]

i think we all need to remember spn is not a christian show. it was created by a jewish man and many creatives involved were also jewish. "fake bible passages" ?? yea, it's a jewish show. not being 100% faithful to the christian bible and taking creative liberties with passages is not shocking. also the bible is literally a fiction open to interpretation