#reader I murdered him

[sapphicbookoftheday]

Reader, I Murdered Him by Betsy Cornwell

Today's sapphic book of the day is Reader, I Murdered Him by Betsy Cornwell!

Summary: "In this daring tale of female agency and revenge from a New York Times bestselling author, a girl becomes a teenage vigilante who roams Victorian England using her privilege and power to punish her friends' abusive suitors and keep other young women safe.

Adele grew up in the shadows--first watching from backstage at her mother's Parisian dance halls, then wandering around the gloomy, haunted rooms of her father's manor. When she's finally sent away to boarding school in London, she's happy to enter the brightly lit world of society girls and their wealthy suitors.

Yet there are shadows there, too. Many of the men that try to charm Adele's new friends do so with dark intentions. After a violent assault, she turns to a roguish young con woman for help. Together, they become vigilantes meting out justice. But can Adele save herself from the same fate as those she protects?

With a queer romance at its heart, this lush historical thriller offers readers an irresistible mix of vengeance and empowerment."

[ianthe-is-a-bitch-and-i-love-her]

Sometimes you just have to read a whole book in an evening, and today, that book was Reader, I Murdered Him. It's an unofficial sequel to Jane Eyre, and even having never read that book, I loved this one deeply. There are many stories about women exacting violent retribution on predatory men, but but I usually find that they read as either too exploitative or too much of a power fantasy for my taste. This book had a feeling of realism to it, a groundedness that I found extremely appealing. It also took an unusually kind and understanding view of the people who love abusers, which I thought was novel and insightful. It tackled complicated, thorny topics with a directness that never felt gratuitous or preachy, and I liked it a lot. As a matter of craft, the book also made extremely efficient use of its page count. I almost always come away from shorter books feeling like they could've been improved by letting things breathe more, but this book tells exactly the story it wants to tell, with exactly the pacing it needs to tell it, and I can't point to a single area where I think it suffered for its length.

It also gets points for being historical fiction that includes trans characters, which is vanishingly rare, and I thought the depiction was very well handled.

[faejilly]

Week(s)-In-Review

Since I was too heavily invested in potato-ing to do this last week, this is technically two weeks worth. 🥔🥔

Watching: is actually REwatching M*A*S*H yet again. -ish?

As in letting it run on the tv in the background a lot. I'm already at Charles! He's such a better foil than Frank ever managed. (Glorious bastard vs snivelling ninny, the glorious bastard always wins.) I did stop and watch Mulcahy's War properly tho, since that's always been one of my favorite episodes. It is also where bb!jilly first learned the word 'tracheotomy' and bb!jilly wanted to be a pathologist when she grew up, so that's a pretty formative influence. Or something?

Adulting: Still enjoying my job, and they don't seem to want to get rid of me, either. 😄 Not so great with non-job to-do list, but whatever. Adulting is hard, no one's dying/starving/injured/fired, so we'll take it.

I finished my first "race" of the year! I don't have my medal yet though, you'll have to wait on that. I'm only averaging about a mile and a half a day which means I'm gonna need to be *over* three miles/day for the rest of the year, but I did the same thing last year, I just suck at January/February so it's not actually that discouraging. (I also lost a bunch of steps because I wasn't wearing my watch while I was shoveling out the driveway when we finally got snow last week, but whatever. 🤣)

Reading: Mermaids & Murder & Toad, oh my!

I liked Into the Drowning Deep more than Rolling in the Deep, but I'm glad I finally tracked down a copy so I could read it, it is very good. If tragic. But I knew that going in.

Adèle from Jane Eyre is an excellent heroine of her own, and for all I do actually adore the original, this is visceral & self-aware in a way I think Bronte would have appreciated, even as it does emphasize different conclusions.

Hey look I've had T. Kingfisher in *every one* of these so far, so are we surprised? No. Is Thornhedge spectacular & somehow adorable even around all the terrible fae violence? Yes. (I should let my mother know I'd like the hardcover for my birthday, since it was a library read. 🎁)

Playing: Cult of the Lamb, to poke around the new Sins of the Flesh update. It's a very silly game, but again, I knew that already 😅😅😅 (Thing 1 got it for me, I'm glad he knows I've put an embarrassing number of hours into it.)

Creating: No writing or podfics or fanmixing, despite the occasional intention for all of the above. However!

I did actually get Gerald & Piggie onto the bookshelf:

Only now I don't know what I want to try and make next...

[aroaessidhe]

2023 reads // twitter thread

Reader, I Murdered Him

spinoff of jane eyre, following Adele, the young french girl she’s a governess for

she retells the story of her young life, from when she’s adopted to her life in boarding school in in London where she witnesses other young women being hurt and assaulted by abusive men, and becomes a vigilante to try and protect them

bi MC, f/f

[the-final-sentence]

'Merci, Maman,' I told her, and I left the blooming garden of her grave.

Betsy Cornwell, from Reader, I Murdered Him

[fromthestacks]

Reader, I Murdered Him by Betsy Cornwall

[hazbingirliexoxo]

*sees Alastor and Vox arguing*

Gen!Z reader: Gurl bye, it’s giving enemies to lovers😭✋

*arguing stops*

Alastor: 😃???

Vox: ..It’s giving WHAT?!🤬

[orangeheliophile]

"Peaches."

(Bakugou x reader)

Warnings: cursing.

Fluff, established relationship, second year! Ua students. Reader calls Bakugou 'Kacchan.' Reader is a bit silly, and Bakugou is utterly in love with his adorable creature.

What happens when your boyfriend starts calling you a nickname after finding you devouring your favorite fruit?

Katsuki has never felt so much cute aggression in his life. And it's all your fault.

Of course, you were the most precious thing on this earth. There is no doubt about that. Your big eyes that look at him with love are absolutely gorgeous. The way your nose scrunches when you try not to sneeze or when you ramble about your day. And whenever you show him that smile, he melts on the spot.

But one day, when he gets back from patrol, he is absolutely baffled to see you like this.

You're eating peaches. While wearing fuzzy pink, Hello Kitty pajama pants. And you're wearing one of his skull shirts. His skull shirt. And it doesn't help that you have the most adorable expression on your face while having your mouth slightly covered in peach juice.

How dare you be so loveable?

He smiles to himself, leaning against a wall in the common room as he watches you munch on the tasty fruit. His arms cross, feeling his heart thumping as he coos when your cheeks look like a chipmunk from stuffing your face with the fruit.

He doesn't dare ruin the moment, chuckling and grinning when he sees you pour honey onto the bowl of peaches. You smile to yourself, kicking your feet in joy as you're completely oblivious to your boyfriend admiring you from afar.

He can't help it, putting a hand over his smile as he gushes over your cuteness. You have a content expression on your face, cheeks full of honeyed peaches as you waddle slightly side to side while sitting on the couch. You lean back, holding the fruit bowl in your hands as you dance happily in peace.

His cheeks start to hurt from smiling too much. You look absolutely ethereal. The sun shines from the windows onto you, providing a soft golden aura. You seem at peace. Something that you hadn't felt since after the war.

You're about to take another big bite of the fruit, your eyes wandering around as you freeze in horror when your gaze meets his. And the bastard chuckles when you do.

He thinks you look adorable, eyes wide, and your jaw dropped as your hand holds the peach in front of your mouth, about to take a bite before you saw him stalking admiring you.

You tense, feeling embarrassed as heat creeps up your cheeks and you gulp. The boy smiles playfully, tilting his head to the side as his smile turns into a small smirk. You clear your throat, turning your head away as your free hand rubs the back of your neck.

"How long have you been watching?..."

"That's not important. What's important is that how cute you fucking look right now."

He teases. Blush rushes to your face, hanging your head low as he chuckles and walks towards you. Yeah, dying feels nice right now. You think.

Katsuki flops down onto the couch, his beefy arm wrapping around your shoulders as he cheekily pulls you closer to him before you can squirm away. You squeak, feeling shy, awkward, and embarrassed as he smirks and props his feet up on the comfortable couch. "Oh, c'mon, peach. Don't get shy on me now."

Wait, what? What did he just call you?

You huff, turning your head away as you pout and lean away from him. The blonde laughs at this, grinning slyly as his arm slides down to your waist and squeezes your hand a bit with his hand, rubbing circles slightly on your exposed skin.

The action makes your heart flutter. Not only did he catch you. He made you feel embarrassed and awkward. The nerve of the handsome stupid bastard. "Don't call me that." You huff, crossing your arms.

The blonde raises his eyebrow, chuckling as he dips his head into your collarbone and flops down on top of you. Making you fall onto the couch. With his stupid heavy muscles crushing you. And his caramel and toasted coconut scent filling your nose. The nerve.

"Hey! You're crushing me!" You groan. Katsuki snickers, squeezing himself underneath your croosed arms as he wraps his own around you and gives sloppy kisses onto your neck and collarbone. You squeal dramatically, lazily trying to slap him away as he entangled his legs with yours and snuggles into you.

"Deal with it, peaches. I'm not going anywhere for a good fucking days."

You whine at his words, acting dramatic as he merely laughs and wiggles his way up, taking the air out of your lungs as he squishes his cheek against yours, nuzzling your faces together. You deadpan. Not only is he suffocating you, but he's trying to act cute. And it's working. Why is it working? Oh, right. You love him or whatever.

"Why must you call me peaches?" You ask, dread in your voice as you regret your recent life choices. The blonde snickers at your misery, stuffing his face into your chest as he speaks in a muffled tone into your chest. You sigh, shaking your head as you gently tug his hair up so you can see his face.

He smiles slyly, chuckling as he raises his eyebrow in amusement and leans forward. You smile a bit, thinking he's going to kiss you, but no. He bites your cheek instead. The cannibal of a boyfriend.

You yelp, surprised by the sudden action as your hand is trying to push his face away. Katsuki grunts, grabbing your wrist as he places it on his cheek so you can caress his face. Your eye twitches as you slap his forehead lightly while he frowns at your action.

"The fuck? You're supposed to be loving me, not doing this shit." He barks, huffing as he nips your nose. You pout, and unknown to you, his heart swells at your adorable face. "And what are you doing, huh?" You accuse. He scoffs dramatically, rolling his eyes and shaking his head in disapproval before biting your cheek again. "I'm showing you my love, dummy."

This time, it's your turn to scoff dramatically. He grunts at your scoff, disapproving your disapproval as he grabs your wrists and places one of them in his hair and the other on his shoulder blade. You squint, staring him down as you debate if you should give him head scratches and back rubs. He stares at you, waiting for you to do what he wants as he bites your cheek again.

His nose presses against the side of your eye as his teeth stay on your skin as you both look at each other dead in the eye. He blinks once. You blink back twice. He grunts, you huff in annoyance. He scrunches his nose in disbelief. You raise your eyebrows as a yes.

He can't believe you just refused to give him affection.

This earns a scowl from the boy lying on top of you. So he does the next best thing, attacking you with his love. Until you die. Of how much you love him.

He smashes his lips onto yours, blowing raspberries onto your mouth as you squeal and squirm. He wraps his arms around you tightly, straddling your hips as he squishes you tightly against him. You slap his chest and stomach, putting no effort into actually hurting him. How annoying.

He pulls away, catching his breath as he smirks at your angry adorable pout. You're too cute. He wants to just eat you up. Hands cupping his cheeks, you lift them, squishing them as he grins and nuzzles into your touch. You sigh and shake your head, not knowing what you did to deserve him as you wish you could return him to his mother. And as if Katsuki could read your thoughts, (He does. He knows you better than you do yourself.) He snickers.

"Aww, don't be mad, peaches. You're stuck with my ass forever. So get used to it." He muffles, attempting to speak while kissing your palms. You groan, letting his face go as he falls onto your chest with a soft thump. The nickname is silly. But it makes your heart flutter for some reason.

"Do you really have to call me that, Kacchan?" You deadpan, hands flopping to your side as he snuggles himself into you. He glances at you, a small but genuine smile appearing as he wraps his arms around you and laces his fingers with yours. "Of course I do. You're my fucking princess."

Ah, now you remember why you choose to love him.

Your heart melts, face softening as you smile back at him while feeling your face heat up. You sigh, giving in as your hand wanders to his fluffy spiky hair and plays with it, the other one holding his hand tightly. He hums in content, wrapping his arm around you as he shuffles closer to your face and kisses you softly.

You grin, melting into the kiss as the blonde drinks your smile while resting his forehead against yours. He pulls away moments later, opening his eyes as he nuzzles his nose against yours. Cherry red eyes gaze into your mesmerizing ones, as his pupils dilate, and he whispers affectionately to you.

"My adorable creature."

You whine. And there it is. Must he ruin the moment? You kiss and cuddle him more, anyway. And he dies from cute aggression.

I'm happy with this one :)

Tell me if you have any requests, by the way!

[erwinsvow]

you’re made of tougher stuff than rafe had realized.

he pampers you, of course, gives you the full princess treatment, even though you get all shy about it, trying to refuse him—which never works. he thinks you deserve it, because you deserve everything that he can give you, but he’s really trying to butter you up, get you ready for when you find out what kind of shit he’s really been up to. 

you’ve made a habit out of not questioning anything rafe says, following his instructions without a second guess. your boyfriend is overpoweringly dominant—it’s easy to do as he says and a part of you is convinced that you prefer it this way. you feel your shyness melt away when you’re with him, your real self bubbling to the surface, more sure of yourself now because rafe is sure of you. 

you don’t realize when it’s happened—only that it has. hand in hand with becoming more confident like rafe, because of rafe, you start being a little more observant.

rafe usually sends you away—gently murmuring in your ear to go get him another drink, or go say hi to someone for him, while he’s trying to conduct business. he sells coke only when you’re out of eyeshot or back at tannyhill waiting for him—he doesn’t need you knowing the details of what he’s doing to make money. the crap with the pogues is put on hold anytime you’re around since he knows your bleeding heart will only feel bad for them. more than that, rafe doesn’t need those idiots earning your sympathy and making him seem like the bad guy. he likes you as you are, all your emotions just for him. 

he thinks this is the way it needs to be to keep you with him, but you start to surprise him.

you come back with a beer for rafe and another lemonade seltzer for yourself, handing it to rafe with a smile and settling on his lap. people at the party might look at the two of you weirdly, but you don’t care anymore, even though the thought of something like that used to make you cry. you lock eyes with rafe, a hand resting on his shoulder while his own hands wrap around your waist.

“that guy over there told me to ask you if you had any coke on you,” you say, taking a sip of your drink and making yourself comfortable against rafe. he freezes for a second, tenses under your touch.

“he said that?” rafe shrugs, fist clenching around the beer bottle. “don’t know why he’d ask that.” you respond with a matching shrug.

“i don’t know. but he’s been talking to those two all night, i bet they’ll buy from you too.” he tries not to act surprised with your words—so comfortably talking about who he could sell drugs to tonight, like you’re discussing what you want for dessert. 

“yeah, kid?”

“mm-hmm. he seemed real nervous. you could probably upcharge, doubt he’d notice.” you take another sip of your drink, swinging your legs. “can we get ice cream on the way home?” rafe presses a wet kiss to your cheek, making you squirm and giggle. he gets up, setting you down on the couch. 

“yeah. let me go take care of business first.”

“okay. charge him double. then i can get a large.” 

“sure thing. you’re the boss.”

[threepandas]

Bad End: Winter's Victory

Cigarettes in this world were different. Odd, I guess. I had never really paid attention to the smell of cigarette smoke, before I ended up here, but I knew it hadn't been? Exactly... well, pleasant? I guess? Not to say that all the ones that existed here WERE, mind you. It was still smokey. The cheap ones an overwhelming incense. They called it "stepping out to pray" for a reason. You ended up smelling like you spent hours in a temple during prayer.

But the smell that lingered here? Clung delicately to cloth and the walls? It was more of a... warm spice. I could never place which ones. There was, yes, a smokey undertone, but? It more or less added to the complex almost taste scent of spices and tea. Dark and rich. Lingering. The sort of thing that takes time to develop.

The entire house was like that. Well, compound really. Austere and ageless, time did not seem to touch the inside of these walls. Did not seem to dare try. It was a blessed relief. A place of respite. All soft, dream-like edges and beautiful gardens. Meandering halls and tasteful, understated art. Peaceful company. Good food and tea.

A lingering smell of smokey spices.

My sister was up to her Protagonist shit again. It was... exhausting. I knew, intellectually, I should be back home. Playing my part. The ever supportive Big Sister archetype. Endlessly kind. Endlessly patient. Supportive to a fault. Smiling and smiling no matter WHAT bullshit nonsense that child pulls. No matter HOW she shames our house or causes trouble I must undo.

But honestly? I can't. I just... can't.

The idiotic little shit SLAPPED A PRINCE. Thank the heavens it wasn't one of the Emperors favorite sons or we'd all be dead, but still! Who the fresh hell taught her that was acceptable?! No. Just.... No.

Let Father deal with this for once. If he insists on spoiling and infantilizing that child? HE can reap the rewards. Her MOTHER can parent for once, instead of sitting around being generically "perfect". I am not there. This is beyond my pay grade. Frankly? I don't even HAVE the power to smooth this over. I could, technically. But not at any cost I'm willing to PAY.

Not for my sister's "she not like other girls", "oh? How interesting", fucking MOMENT.

No WONDER the Elder Sister character disappears in the later half of the royal route, only to turn back up in the palace. She's a freaking Consort! To a letch! Powerful one, yes. But STILL! And all just to protect a sister who not only doesn't notice? But doesn't even attend her wedding?

No.

ABSOLUTELY Not.

I lift the (frankly beautiful) cup of tea I was served to drink while I wait. Breathe in it's rich, soothing scent. Let the steam curl against my face as I stare out the open sliding doors at the fall garden. It borders on too cold for this... but not quite.

The tea is warm. The snacks are warm. I was brought a beautifully embroidered blanket to rest across my lap. Have a robe draped over my shoulders. It is... meditative, almost. Just me and the quiet sigh of vibrant leaves on the breeze. The world muffled. Warm dispite the cold. Ah... the garden really is... so beautiful....

I let it soothe me. Drain away my anger and frustration at the world. Running water, birds in the trees, insects. The silence is so wonderfully full. Alive. I have to keep my mind from bitterly comparing it to constant dramatics filled mess of the gardens at home. Focus on the here and now. This is NICE. Focus on this.

Quiet, near silent footsteps approach. Gait even and steady. Most men his age meander or shuffle, but like the home he keeps? Kaito seems almost untouchable by time. As though not even the Gods dare. I honestly don't blame them. He can be quite commanding when he wishes. Good thing he's rather laid back.

"Come to escape the treasonous?" A modulated voice teases. Wry and dry as salt mines. "Your fool sister is aware that actions have consequences, yes? Or has that idiot father finally succeeded in spoiling her back into infancy? Traditionally, we do not let such young children wander."

Kaito's voice isn't terribly high or husky and low. It is... smooth. Controlled. Like running your fingers across fine fabric. I could honestly listen to him read a phone book and be pleased. He would have made a killing as a voice actor, in my first life. Or reading audio books. Something.

"No retort? Witty defense? Oh dear. You are exhausted, aren't you, my friend?" He noted, dropping the teasing edge. Stepping inside the viewing room and calmly sliding the door shut behind him, I could almost feel him observing me. "When was the last time you slept? Properly. You're a mess, my friend, look utterly exhausted. Has it become that bad?"

Worse actually. They keep doubling down. Doing stupid "girl power!!!1!", poorly thought out, works in a 21th century DEMOCRACY but sure as shit NOT HERE, so called "power moves". I was? So, so fucking tired. Legitimately scared for the servants at this point. Because, honestly? Let stupid reap it's own reward. I TRIED. I was dismissed and ignored. Taken for granted.

Accused of JEALOUSY!

Like? Oh, HELL NO. I know exactly where THAT train of thought ends. I've read enough of the Genre to cut THAT shit off at the pass. Not Today, Satan!

So? Fuck um. I Tried. But I REFUSE to set myself ablaze to keep the ungrateful warm. Especially when they have both coats and just want to roast marshmallows. But... the SERVANTS? They are innocent. Wrong house, shit masters. Half are basically indentured! Much to my outrage.

We HAVE the funds to pay them better. But do I control those funds? Dispite doing ALL THE WORK? Managing the House? No. Of course not. THAT would be Protagonist's mother. And we really need that money for more jewelry and pretty outfits for her daughter. Fuck the household, I guess.

Things are... likely to get bad.

Because I have made the painful, painful choice? To let GO.

I can't keep holding up the house. I am NOT Atlas. Was not granted a second chance, just to throw it away. But at the same time? The servants. Not the enabling, vindictive, lapdogs that circle my family like vultures. The ACTUAL servants. Gardeners, cooks, maids. The no one's that they will not remember.

Somebody has to protect THEM. It must be me. Or no one else WILL.

I'm hoping Kaito will help.

Please, heavens, let this be enough to help. Then... THEN I can figure out how to protect myself. Hopefully. Maybe. Though I am probably running quickly out of time.

"Dear one, are you with me? You are drifting. I need you to come back. Focus on me. The sound of my voice. Can you hear me? Do you see the leaves? Focus on their color. See the reds and yellows beyond them. Like fire, is it not? Can you smell the tea? Dear one, what kind is it? Come here. Back to your body. That's right..."

Smooth and soothing. Closer then what felt like a blink ago. Huh. Yes. The leaves are quite lovely, aren't they? And... and this is red cliff, first harvest, right? Ah. I'm still so bad at telling certain types of tea apart. How mean. He knows this.

.....my brain feels mushy. But back in my body. I manage to scrounge up the edges of a smile. Gods, I am so tired. Worn so thin. But I... I can't rest. Not yet. Kaito kneels beside me, too dignified and reserved to show the full weight of his concern. But it practically howls from his body language. The sheer closeness he has allowed. I must have truely scared him there.

I would tease him, about using my notoriously bad memory of frankly near identical teas against me... but I just... just can't.

There isn't enough energy left in me. I think the soothing nature of his home, his company, has been my undoing. My brain has finally declared me safe enough to break down. Ha ha... perhaps that is why I've been avoiding coming here for so long. I knew I would break down. Would not want to leave.

Unspeakably rude of me.

"The rumors have not done the situation justice, it seems. You seem at your wits end. My dear, you cannot continue like this. Please, let me help. I realize it is overstepping any number of boundaries... but..." the weight of his concern; the words he was struggling to find, to phrase the unkind more palatably, hung between us. "Please, my friend. You are struggling. I can not bear it."

I felt exhausted tears well up. Days of being overwhelmed. Threatened on all sides. Wondering if today would be the day, that the royal gaurds kicked down our gates and executed us all. Struggling against the blindly arrogant and willful actions of my family. The very SAME family that treated me as more of a secretary then as any kind of kin.

Where would I be? If I had not met Kaito, all those years ago? Visiting his cousin, who was marrying a friend of my cousin. Even then, I was desperately trying to keep the name of our family from being filth. My father could not tear himself away from the whims of my sister or his pretty new wife. My grandmother somehow uncaring, tyrannical and doting, indulgent and yet strict.

I was the ONLY ONE who could and WOULD bother to represent us.

Was called frivolous and silly for it. For "seeking parties" to go "play at". As though it was not stressful. As though it was not far beyond my training and skills. Only the concerned eyes of cousins from other houses and guidance of matriarchs from BETTER houses, let me survive at ALL.

Grandmother still does not understand why she no longer gets invitations. Why her name is mud in the eyes of other elders. They did not take kindly, to her abandoning her granddaughter to do HER and HER DAUGHTER-IN-LAW'S job for them. But... there I was. Doing my best. Decorated like a little doll, uncomfortable and quite.

Kaito didn't even need to speak to me. Would never have approached such a nervous, unchaperoned child. Forget being simply a young unmarried girl. I was quite LITERALLY a girl. A child. He never would have so much a acknowledged my existence normally. It simply wasn't done. He was after all, an unmarried man of considerable power.

Still is.

But he needed to speak with his cousin. Who, quite rudely, would NOT take a hint. Too wrapped up in his new bride. Thus forcing Kaito to come over. Bless him, he still tried to politely ignore me. So as not to put pressure on a nervous child. But, once again, Cousin Dense As A Brick struck. Introduced us before merrily swanning off to go talk with friends, taking his wife, my cousin, and ONLY CHAPERONE with him.

We were both baffled and aghast. Horrified. It was the sort of gods awful that somehow found its way back around to being funny. Granted, only because we were in a highly visible location surround by other part goers. But still. Why don't you just? Pick me up and dump me in his LAP next? Good gods man.

Needless to say? The roasting was merciless and immediate. He escorted me to a friend of his. Terrifying woman. We had a grand time roasting terrible behavior and I learned SO MUCH. They were Hilarious. Clearly appreciated having an audience who could actually grasp their sense of humor. I left with letter buddies.

Acquaintances that became friends.

Kaito became my single BEST friend. A refuge, a mentor, a confidant. I trusted... TRUST, the man more then any single soul I've ever met. It helps, I guess, that he meets me where I AM not where he assumes I SHOULD be. Doesn't baby me. Infantalize me. Nor does he treat me in any way that would set off a "creep" alarm in my head. He's just... Kaito.

All cunning eyes and slight smiles, dry humor and cutting wit. Ever the rougish yet refined strategist. Bad boy of the highly polite. All the high court ladies still sigh over him.

Grey eyes that bordered on black filled my vision. That whisp of soft silver hair that never wanted to stay put, forever falling across his brow. My view of the garden cut off. When had he moved? Had I drifted back into my head again? It seemed so.

This close, I could not help but notice his eyelashes were still the rich dark of his youth. Few strands of silver yet touching his eyebrows. He'd had a beautiful shade of black hair it seems. It was rather striking....

A pinch on the back of my hand. Bright pain lancing through the fog. Kaito's hands cupped mine, kept me from jostling my cup. Stopping me from dropping now cold tea into my lap. Taking it from me gently, he set it aside. Thumb rubbing the skin he had abused. His face was apologetic.

"And that marks the second time you've drifted away on me, dear. I'm afraid I'm no longer asking. I'm will be helping. This is entirely unacceptable. What in the gods name have those idiots done to you?" His voice was soft. Attention focused on me. I felt... felt so very fragile.

Not weak. Fragile. Like glass under strain. Bones near their breaking point. That final support beam struggling with weight beyond its abilities to bear. He was treating me like I was wounded. Was I? Perhaps I was. I certainly felt that way.

I just... just wanted someone ELSE to take care of it all.

Just for a bit.

Was that so wrong?

I was TIRED. Felt the tears coming back. Here I was, coming to a dear friend, about to ask him to take on a burden for me. Risk enraged royalty just to protect the innocent. Being unspeakably emotional and RUDE. And I... and I... I just....

"Shhhhh. None of this. You've done so much. Have been so, so brave, my girl. No more. It's alright. I'm here. I'll take care of everything." He soothed. Soft and unbearably kind. All I could do was nod. Agree. "There we are, good girl. You'll stay here for now, all right? No more stressful journeys to that house. I'll send someone to gather your things. We can have everything dealt with after a rest."

His hands, boldly, came up to cup my cheeks. I found I didn't care. It felt nice. His palms warm and dry, gently cradling.

I wouldn't be able to stay. He knew that. I knew that. It simply WAS. We weren't related, weren't married. I had brought no chaperone. I... gods, I wanted too. Badly. But I couldn't. I just needed help with the servants. Told him as much. Words rambled disjointedly between us as I struggled to get them all out.

"Ah, but the solution then is simple, isn't it?" He said, looking almost amused. "You just need to marry me."

Blinking, the thought didn't quite process. My confusion clear enough on my face for him to continue.

"Every time I see you, you are suffering some fresh new indignity from that house. Some brand new insult. Isn't it better here? I know you enjoy it. The servants adore you. I adore you." The hands on my cheeks shifted, just slightly, barely daring to let their thumbs stroke just slightly."

"I would give you everything, dearest."

This... did not feel political. Nor some ploy to just protect the servants, offered by a dear friend. When... when had things changed? I knew for a fact, he held no such interests in me as a child. I'd seen him kill a man over the mere suspicion of such things. Yet... it's also not like I'd grown UP in front of him. We talked mostly over letters.

It was harder to remember my physical age through those. Since I didn't exactly talk or write like the child I had appeared. And talking to each other, being friends with each other, for going on a decade... certainly WAS a good foundation for a relationship, wasn't it? I didn't know any more. How old... how old even was I?

His hands were so warm.

Felt strong and reliable, cupping my face. A reserved and refined (if a bit mischievous), pillar of strength that I could finally lean on. Offering up a tempting dream world where I wouldn't have to think anymore. Wouldn't have to deal with troubles or reality. Just... just endless, beautiful, painting-like peace and serenity.

No more drama... ever again.

Wouldn't that be nice?

Didn't I deserve to rest?

Who else, really, could I even see myself marrying? Realistically? Some untested lout? Character suspect and temperament unknown? What prospects, what LOYALTY, could they even offer? Would they even respect my boundaries? Could they ever hope to match his knowledge of my likes and dislikes? Could... could I ever hope to TRUST them? Like I did, Kaito?

I felt my expression soften. Decided to be a little bold too. Leaning forward, I let my hands come up to lightly grip his arms. Still so corded with muscles. The man never did skip out on his training, be it archery or swordsmenship. My forhead rest lightly against his, that wayward strand tickling my skin just a bit. His breath smelled of those smokey spiced cigarettes while his skin, which I had never dared take note of, smelled of daily things.

He held so perfectly still, as though afraid to spook me. Seemed startled by my boldness. How cute~

I couldn't stop the grin if I tried.

"Yes, yes, mock the old man. Impertinent minx. So scandalous!" He teased, finally unfreezing after gathering his thoughts. That plotting spark back in his eyes. "Whatever shall I do? My guest takes advantage of me! Oh dear, oh no~ I fear for my honor! You will have to make an honest man of me, I'm afraid."

The laugh burst out of me, feeling a lot like relief. Gods, I'd missed this. Just... just sass and light hearted teasing. Droll humor and wit. No nightmare politics or angry royals. No trying to manage the unmanageable. Not responsible for any but myself. Yes... yes this was exactly what I needed, wasn't it?

Honestly? FUCK the Plot. FUCK the Protagonist and her nightmare social blunders! I was gonna get OUT of that house. Live for ME. Marry a nice, reliable man. Have a beautiful home. Maybe get some pets. Eat snacks! Laze about and enjoy the gardens! Have some gods damned PEACE for once! It sounded perfect.

I told Kaito there were no take backs. Congratulations on the terrible idea! I was HIS problem now. Have fun with your new, future in-laws!

Laughter was the best thing I'd felt in weeks. One of the maids I liked was already on standby and ready to lead me to a guest room. We bickered light heartedly, him groaning in exaggerated ways about his TERRIBLE fate of having to deal with IDIOTS! Oh, Darling, how COULD you?! Ha! Suffer.

It... gods, it was beautiful. Dreamlike. A perfect, story book solution to my woes.

Really, if I did not TRUST Kaito so much? I would have been suspicious.

But I did.

So I left with the maid, a smile on my face. Relieved. Happy. Engaged to a "good man". The most TRUSTWORTHY man I knew.

Thus, did not see, like a mask, his expression slide away. His open body language close off, like then slamming of a crypt door, locking the dead back inside. The warmth draining from the room as I left it, as though I had taken every trace with me. Leaving only the cold, cold THING behind. One that wore the face of a man.

A handsome man, yes, but an empty one.

One that was Not Pleased.

"I distinctly recall," his voice cutting the silence like an assassin slitting a throat, sudden and violent yet just as impersonal. "That I ordered her not to be bothered. For you to get rid of that... thing, in a timely manner."

Shadows dropped from the roof. Then too their knees. Kneeling, loyal unto death, before the one that commands them. Many are injured. They do not shake, for all that they have failed. Will likely die for it.

"Give me one good reason to let you live. A single one." The empire's spy master, the Winter Ghost, asks the room at large. Picking up his beloved's tea cup, considering it as he talks. He almost wants to destroy it. So no one else can ever use it. Touch it with their filthy hands. "Well?"

His assassins continue to kneel. Silent. There is no defense for their failure.

Three die instantly, the rest are not so lucky.

He decides to keep the cup.

Running his thumb along the rim where her mouth touched it, he steps out, closer to the garden and slides the door shut. It truely is a lovely view. Behind him, his servants behind the familiar work of cleaning up. Kneeling in the dirt before him, the next set of assassins.

"Let me make my self clear this time. I don't care how you do it, how painful or how slow, but they are to be gone by the time I am wed, understood? If that useless chit or her idiot father darken my door, you will long for the mercy that is death. Get out. And do not DARE fail me."

A quite chorus of confirmation, then like leaves... scattered on the wind.

He was named winter victory. For his mother's success in seizing control of her poor, late, husband's house. Born into the cold, it has always remained. Is it any suprise he covets warmth? In any form he can have it. Every form.

A pity though... that he won't be needing his plans.

She would have made a beautiful widow.

[yayll]

Hi!! It’s my first time requesting something so I dont know how that works.. um I was thinking of some mission like some kind of ball that dazai and y/n has to go and y/n has to seduce someone to get information out of them. You know those masquerade balls? Yeah I think that really goood!! And dazai gets sooooooooo jealous and after she got the information dazai kiss her infront of that person to show him that she’s his😭😭😭😭😭😭omg

HIII angel sorry this took me a while, but i hope you like it :') i tweaked your idea a lil and fingers crossed this is what you so graciously asked for. i tried to put my best jealous goofy ass dazai in there along with the absolute MUSH his brain turns into when he has you to himself mixed with a lil........ fucked in the headness. i love requests! this was soooo fun to write i love youuuuuu <3

~ a little something about Dazai and his uncharacteristic jealousy ~

"Osamu, come on... You're my only sweetheart, you know that."

You call out half sweetly and half out of breath as you follow him down the hallway of the lavish event you were currently attending, dressed to the nines and trying to remain undercover. You were coming to realize why people didn't date within the workplace as he walked ahead, grumbling to himself. He's trying to remain unfazed, pretending to still be upset as he shrugs with his back turned to you.

"Hmph. I dunno, I don't feel like I'm your 'sweet' anything..."

This causes you to roll your eyes affectionately and pick up the pace, placing a hand on the back of his shoulder to finally stop him in his tracks. You flash him a sincere smile, and speak softly.

"I'm really sorry you had to see that. I didn't know that asshole was going to kiss me after he let me go. I also didn't think you'd ever get jealous..."

You say that last part with a more playful tone, treading dangerous waters of your unpredictable lover's emotions. As expected, he sighs dramatically, casting you a look of disgust.

"Ugh, of course I'm not... That's honestly sooo lame and pathetic. I can entertain jealousy as much as I can entertain one of Kunikida's little speeches on morals, or whatever."

"You mean his 'ideals'?"

You chide, stifling a laugh. He glares at you, his eyes narrowing as he scans you for a moment.

He can't find a single flaw on that precious face, not a single stray hair or stain on your exquisite outfit. He should change that by the end of the night.

"... You're always so negative, correcting me and whatnot. Isn't it tiring being so irritatingly superior in every way?"

This one gets a laugh out of you, You can tell he's slowly lightening up his mood by the way you both begin walking side by side once again.

"Yeah well, if it weren't for that little kiss earlier, we'd both still be all tied up in the wine cellar of this wonderful party."

He flashes you a pout, and shrugs dismissively.

"And here I thought you of all people would like the idea of being tied up with me. Hmph, wrong partner, I suppose."

Now he was starting to pick back at you, though it was cute. Jealousy looked cute on him, it was something you didn't think he was capable of. It was a pity it had to be during a mission where your main asset was your seduction skills and his was mental instability. You hated every second of it, but you also wanted to make sure you both made it out with the secret intel alive.

You make your way into the grand ballroom, the gala is in full swing, and your eyes dart around to find a proper escape route. Just as you see an exit, a handsome and well dressed young man blocks your view, sticking his hand out.

"Hi. You're gorgeous. Care for a dance?"

You stare down at his hand and then back up at the stranger, your face flushing as you're caught off guard.

"Me? No, no I-"

Dazai immediately interjects, sloppily holding a glass of champagne that somehow manifested in his hand and pretends to be drunk. He loved his theatrics, especially when he was desperate.

He bumps harshly into the young man's shoulder, the alcohol sloshing out of the cup as he slurs, but not before he flashes you a wink to tell you to play along.

"Sooo sorry, pardon me. This indeed beautiful angel is quite busy you see... Taking care of me that is. Ooh, I'm a wreck! I'm nothing but a sad and lonely dog.. In this sad and lonely world-"

The man looks at Dazai skeptically, and huffs into a chuckle. He shoves him away, and turns his attention back to you. Your eyes dart nervously between the two, wondering what Dazai will do next.

"Shut it, clown.. Anyway, I think this further proves you should be in the company of a gentleman like me tonight rather than this wet mop-"

The sound of a champagne flute soaring through the air and connecting to the man's skull is suddenly heard, interrupting him and sending him falling to the ground along with broken glass and liquid everywhere. In one swift motion, Dazai is at your side with a premature victorious smirk, but before you can both be on your way, the man regains his posture and spins him around, punching him square in the face. Dazai's not scrawny or weak, but he isn't the most skilled fighter, relying mostly on his special ability and intelligence to get him out of things.

You gasp, instinctively grabbing Dazai by the collar of his suit and dragging him away to get lost in the crowd of concerned people. You finally make it outside and you both collapse onto the soft grass just outside the venue. It's decorated with all kinds of flowers and fragrant rose bushes, it almost looks like you're at the garden of Versailles. You look over at Dazai, his nose bleeding all over the place, but he looks completely unbothered by it. As you reach over to touch the bridge of his nose, he grabs your wrist and holds it away gently. He waves a finger at you.

"No touchy, I've got it."

He does not, in fact, got it. He looks around until he plucks a rose petal and uses it to wipe his nostrils. You frown, getting all up in his space within an instant.

"What on earth are you doing, Osamu? Let me help, you goofball. Your nose is a mess thanks to that stunt you pulled."

You tear off a bit of fabric from your outfit and dab his skin tenderly, holding his head on your lap now. You can see some blood has trailed down his neck, staining the bandages there along with the collar of his crisp white dress shirt you picked out for him this morning. Dazai perks up, his voice slightly strained but full of lightheartedness.

"How does it feel to work with the agency's most tactical and covert operative? Eh?~"

You bite back a smile, and shake your head. You murmur.

"Feels like he's asking for a death wish a little more than usual."

Your lips soon become a thin line, realizing your statement hurts a little more in the context of the situation than it usually would. He notices your mood shift as his eyes flicker from your concerned eyes down to your lips and back up again. He knows it hurts you when he's like this, reckless and acting out on the impulses of his own plans. He wants to sit up and close the gap between you, kiss you until you drop down those brave walls you're putting up for the sake of the mission. For the sake of your feelings for him. He knows he's careless with it all.

He hums, eyes trained on you as if burning the image of your heavenly self into his mind, where you always deserve to be. In the distance, a bulky sketchy looking man runs out of the venue frantically, looking around wildly and you both get the impression it's the guy from the cellar earlier who kissed you in exchange for your freedom.

Shit! You could have sworn you knocked him out cold. Dazai sits up from your lap and you two scoot more into the bush, trying to hide from him as he makes a call. You mutter under your breath, turning to Dazai as you begin to type something out on your communicator.

"Now's the perfect time to let the others know we're ready for extraction."

He's already looking at you, or gazing admiringly more like. He knows he can fuck up everything, pay any consequence, but the thing he needs to get right for the selfishness of his wretched little heart is you. He scoots a bit closer, hearing the sounds of both your shallow breaths harmonizing. He mutters, softly.

"It would also be the perfect time for you to kiss my face better. You know, for my wellness and all that. Besides, that guy wasn't very nice to us earlier and we need to get rid of any traces of him from those lips. Yuck."

You roll your eyes yet again, despite the fluttering that won't let your stomach rest.

"Who cares about that, we have a case to close first."

He smirks, voice dropping low and provocative.

"I care."

He leans in even further, practically caging you with both arms on either side of you. He can feel your breathing become more erratic, his own filled with a pathetic sense of need he always has when he's with you. Dazai's hand reaches out and grabs your chin, turning it up slightly to face him, making sure you drop this silly act once and for all. His voice comes out gentle, firm.

"I need you to physically push me away, or I swear I'm going to kiss you right now, cutie."

Your eyes widen as you let a shaky breath escape your plush lips, murmuring in return.

"I'll.. punch you in the nose again, you know..."

His hand moves from your chin to the side of your face, cupping your cheek as he takes another breath, his body aching to be as close to yours as possible. His eyes are fixed on you, tearing you apart right then and there, but not before putting you back together so nicely. In that moment, he knows you don't mean that, and he knows he can't resist anymore.

He then whispers with a finality, the anticipation torturing him like you do on a daily basis.

"I don't think I'm going to listen to that..."

You break into a faint smile as you perceive him back.

"You've still got a little blood on your-"

Without another word, Dazai closes the remaining distance between you and him, kissing you with fervor as his soft whines reverberate against your lips. You taste sweetness and then... metallic as your lips mesh together for a heavenly moment. He feels alive, this was what he needed, the soothing balm for his soul and any other wound only you could provide. He's like a vampire, a parasite leeching off of your very essence so he could be himself around you. Cowardly burrowing into the safety of your heart. You squirm just a tad, your fingers carding through his brown hair as you try to keep up. He pulls back after his nose can't push more air through and keeps his lips hovering over yours, feeling the heat from your mouth mingle with his as he sees your lips stained red with his blood. Just as he's going to comment on how disgustingly erotic it is to see you like that, he pushes away the indecent thoughts, using the bandage on his wrist to wipe your mouth instead.

"Okay, I'll be good for now. You can call for extraction.~"

It was a dumb thing to do and could be seen as him being territorial or jealous, but the reality of it was that it was the natural order of things when it came to the way he processed his affections. Someone gets in between the two of you in any way?

An uglier and more dangerous past version of himself would have called for an immediate execution, there was a reason he held the titles that he did. He did his very best to keep that mentality at bay, rebuking it every time he felt a dark urge that he felt needed to be dealt with, mostly for your sake and for the sake of the promise he made to a friend once. Though he can't lie and say that's not who he is anymore, he can always find a better way to get his point across... even if a wishful bullet to the head comes out in the form of a kiss on your precious lips. He'll try for you. He'll wear the fastidious label proudly and be Dazai, a jealous man.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

i’m obsessed with the idea of cult leader!geto pining for a reader who just fucking hates him. i don’t know why just. maybe it’s someone from his past that he left behind when he defected, maybe they’re bitter and spiteful and all they do is hiss and bite but he’s so smitten. you can do no wrong in his eyes. he deserves the curses and anger, he knows, and he receives them with a smile and eyes full of hearts. he gets giddy when you scowl at him. he just thinks you’re love personified. he’s so gentle and patient that it’s infuriating because nothing you do or say will get him to bite back. it’s like you’re a kitten gnawing at his fist but he does nothing but coo at you even when you draw blood

[lustlovehart]

Oooooooh your monster au looks fun!! And aaah the art! Ghost boy Riddle looks cute as a button, Vil looking gorgeous and elegant with the horns and crown, and Malleus!!! I love how it looks like he has moss growing on over him, those charming carved eyes, and the jewelry in the one art piece adds to his whole vibe~

Does gargoyle/dragon boy want to make the MC part of his hoard? Cause I can see him locking the doors to a decrepit palace he’s taken up residency in and swallowing the key to keep them from running.

Rollo I don’t even think your warning letter would have saved them, hell hath no fury like a possessive, lovestruck monster.

AHHH thank you ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎!! I’m glad you enjoyed them. I’ve actually been doodling more Monster!Twst (Not as a main thing cuz I’m trying to focus on writing the story) because I personally think my style has changed and I wanted to see what they would look like now!

And for the Malleus portion… Let's just say there is locking up and there is an old decrepit castle :). Alas, poor Rollo is subjected to zoning out in the middle of a job worrying over Reader, while they’re locked up wondering what their favorite cafe is serving as deserts (And how to murder their captors but details details)

[columprncess]

god i pray for you to give me a guy like evan peters (or evan himself)

[hauntedrose555]

I actually NEED a tate langdon bf

[l0v3sickl0s3r]

Murder Drones x Reader

Character: Serial Designation N | Requested: ❌ | Category: Fluffy Cuddling Headcanons

• my guy has quite literally been living under a rock for his whole life so he doesn’t know shit about being affectionate let alone cuddling 💀

• doesn’t mean u can’t teach him tho 👀

• he’ll try his best to make sure ur comfy, both emotionally and physically. <3

• he will DEEEFINITELY wrap his tail around u! ^^ just… be mindful about the stinger. pop a cork on the tip and u should be fine :3

• he rlly likes laying his head on ur chest or vice versa <3333

• if he’s tired enough, he’ll fall asleep in ur arms 🥰

• he occasionally mumbles in his sleep too i’m sobbign

• HE’S LITERALLY THE MOST TOUCH STARVED BOY EVER. once he gets the hang of this whole relationship thing U BETTER BELIEVE HE’LL BE CUDDLING U MORE OFTEN RAHHHHHHHHHH

bonus lil drabble: tired bodies, limbs draped around each other. the occasional glance at one another, and the shy embarrassment when the sweet bot looks away from you. you softly chuckle and cup his cheek in the palm of your hand, guiding his gaze back to meet yours. he blushes and looks at you timidly, yet oh so lovingly. you smile, give him a lil peck on the lips and nestle into his chest. you don’t have to look up to know that he’s blushing a little bit more than before. the pats on your back slowly become a haze in your mind as n lulls you to sleep…