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hopeisour4letteredword · 22 days ago
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got himself into this mess by being too good at poker. no more. if you want him to be good at poker you need to pay him for it
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tf2incorrectquotes · 2 months ago
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incorrectbatfam · 1 month ago
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Bruce: My twelve-year-old son recently started to stream on Twitch. After weeks of zero interactions, he was ecstatic to announce that he had not only a viewer, but a follower also. I've never seen a happier human being.
Bruce: I am that follower. He can never know.
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welcomehomeincorrectquotes · 7 months ago
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percabethconvos · 4 months ago
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Annabeth: Percy and I are dating now
Thalia: Yeah I've known that for a while now
Annabeth: We just started?
Thalia: Then what the fuck were you doing before that?
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wildlyincorrect · 3 months ago
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Elphaba watching Glinda perform "Popular":
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Sirius: Apparently my dad think you turned me gay Remus: I did. Tell him he is next
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puriteenism · 6 months ago
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Thalia: So you've definitely got clinical burnout by now
Jason: Oh, that sounds bad. How long does it take to fix, I have a lot of tasks and chores and training to do
Thalia:
Jason: ...what
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incorrectgliyeraba · 5 months ago
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Glinda: My kink is saying something ridiculous and watching Elphie go through all five stages of grief as she realizes she still wants to fuck me.
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ir0npvrker · 6 months ago
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tony: i love the phrase “with all due respect” because it doesn’t specify how much respect is due. could be none. bitch
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hopeisour4letteredword · 10 months ago
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happy US moon landing day o7 moons haunted tweet has a special place in my heart
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tf2incorrectquotes · 2 months ago
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incorrectbatfam · 3 months ago
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Tim: Kon texted me "your adorable" so I texted him back and said, "No, YOU'RE adorable."
Cassie: And?
Tim: And now we're dating. We've been on six dates. All I did was point out a typo.
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walterfairholmes · 2 months ago
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Cadet Echo, to Fives: It's okay to be sad, sometimes we need to let our feelings out, just let yourself be sad.
99: Oh that's so lovely, well done. Why is he crying?
Echo: I hit him.
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percabethconvos · 9 months ago
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Percy: Would you still love me if I was an email?
Annabeth: I would star you and keep you in a special folder
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