#quiet crushes

[marvelwitchergilmore]

Quiet Crushes

Summary: Joel Miller x Fe!Reader ~ You have always been nervous around Joel Miller. Ever since he came to town it's like you're a teenager again with a crush on the hottest guy in school. But, when someone unexpected turns up, it seems that even Joel has found the courage to talk to you.

Disclaimer: I haven't written in a while so there may be some spelling mistakes (I'm gonna blame the lack of sleep). Fluff, angst, idiots in love, speechless around crushes, kissing.

You didn’t know how long it had been since you’d last slept. 12 hours? 24? None of it mattered. All you could focus on was your brother, lay on the bed in your spare room, breathing up and down, freshly cleaned and slowly healing physically. 

Joel was downstairs in the kitchen cooking something. 

You’d heard the pans clatter every couple of minutes until you heard the mugs and the plates. But you couldn’t concentrate on that. Your gaze and mind remained focused on your brother’s chest, watching it rise and fall; fearful that if you looked away, even if just for a second, he would stop and he’d be gone from you and this world permanently. 

You’d not seen him in almost four years and in that time you’d somehow convinced yourself he’d died. That a clicker or worse had got to him and killed him. He’d been dead to you for just over three years. But despite this, part of you still held hope. 

That was the only part of you that was happy. 

It was proved right. Your brother was alive…to an extent. 

Lord knows what he saw and what he went through to find you. You didn’t even want to imagine. Your mind had been so focused on getting him cleaned up, you couldn’t bring yourself to step over the line and ask the questions about his scars. 

He’d tell you in his own time, you hoped. 

The moment you saw him walk through the doors of Jackson…you felt your heart both drop and soar at the same time. He was like a drowned-rat in the rain. Both of you were by the time you left Joel’s side from the covered porch of the Tipsy Bison to run out to the muddied path in the rain and embrace your brother. 

The mud on your jeans proved to you that you’d been there to hold him in the mud when you both collapsed from the sheer impact of the hug. 

You vaguely remembered Joel telling you to get a shower…but you couldn’t remember how long ago that was. The moment they carried your brother into his room, you hadn’t so much as left his side, let alone the room. 

You patched up his wounds whilst he slept and woke him part way through so he’d finally eat something and get his strength up. 

It was only as you sat alone in the silence of your sleeping brother that you let your mind go back to the moments just before he’d come through the gates. 

You’d been talking to Joel or, at least, trying. 

Ever since Joel arrived in Jackson, your crush on him had been a burden to bear.

You never liked having crushes; they either lead to embarrassment or pain. Neither sounded appealing. 

And, so, for the first eight months, any conversation you had with him never extended past three words a day, if that. You’d remain quiet and get your work done. 

It was only after these eight months that Tommy came to you, asking you to actually try and talk to Joel. You were only one of the few that didn’t. Whilst the others seemed to have something against Joel, Tommy seemed to be blind to the fact that you actually had something for Joel. 

But Maria wasn’t. 

She saw it instantly. 

The way the blood rushed to your face. The way your breathing became unsteady and you couldn’t seem to form a single sentence in his presence. 

You liked Joel…a lot. 

As did many other women in Jackson. 

And men.

But still, no matter how hard you tried, you were just a bumbling mess around Joel. 

After Tommy’s talk, you’d been fixing a lightbulb in the Tipsy Byson when the bulb shone too bright, shocking you and causing the ladder to rattle beneath you. 

However, it stopped falling when Joel caught it, and you. 

His hands were on your waist. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yes.” you eventually managed to answer as you climbed down. 

You could only be thankful that your back was to Joel but the instant you turned around, you were met with his gaze and any human function you had in your body seemed to instantly disappear. After a couple of attempts, you managed to make your “Thank you,” loud enough for the human ear to hear before running off. 

It seemed to only get worse after that. 

And already being aware that you were a blushing mess when you even thought about him only added to that. Feeling the heat of your cheeks, and being all too aware of it when faced with Joel Miller only increased your embarrassment. 

There were some moments where you thought he was flirting with you but your conscience quickly brushed that aside. After all, why would Joel Miller be interested in you when most of Jackson was after him?

And that evening, everything felt like it was coming to a head. You were so sure Joel knew about your feelings towards him, despite the fact you wanted to forget about them. Why else would he ask you to go outside with him? You figured he’d let you down gently at least. Tell you he wasn’t interested but he’d be sure you were a lovely woman.

Instead, he’d stepped closer to you. 

If it had been anyone else, maybe you would have backed away. But not with Joel. 

He wasn’t threatening to you in his gaze or his touch but rather gentle, soft and kind. Despite all what you had heard about him, you’d never seen him be anything but kind and caring to those around him. A vastly different version that Tommy had been expecting, that’s for sure. 

You couldn’t even remember what Joel had said to you. 

One minute your mind was growing dizzy with the simple thought of him. The next, you’d flicked your eyes away for a moment only to see a lad run at full speed past the bar and towards the gates. 

Both you and Joel’s gaze followed the lad and when you saw your brother…Joel saw the change in you. 

Most times, you were flustered. Running here, there and everywhere. Hell, you rarely seemed to have time to have a conversation with him before you were dashing off to somewhere else. 

Since he started working with Tommy again, he wanted to know more about you. 

You seemed to keep to yourself, mostly. Tommy said you were trustworthy and the one to go to whenever or if ever he had a problem whether that be with a light fixture, plumbing, cooking or even just with life. 

That day you’d nearly fallen from the ladder, he’d hoped to have a drink with you - talk to you. Get to know you. 

He’d tried for weeks after that, but again, always flustered. Part of him figured that perhaps, maybe, you felt the same way about him as he did about you. 

So, that night at the Tipsy Byson, he was hoping to ask you. 

But then you looked away and suddenly everything about you became…cool. 

You were no longer a “flustered mess” as he’d heard someone call you in the bar one night. You no longer had that light dusting blush across your cheeks that seemed to brighten every time he got closer which made his stomach summersault. 

No, instead, you became more reserved. 

You stood straight and had your arms folded. Your eyes narrowed to look at the face of the weakened man in the middle of the two brother’s helping carry him inside the walls of Jackson. 

Joel had called your name and asked you a question but he knew none of it had registered. But you had managed to answer his next question without him having to ask it. 

“That’s my brother.”

Without a second thought or care to the rain, you left the shelter of the porch and walked out and once you were close enough, you called your brother’s name and Joel watched you run to your brother, and him run to you. 

He watched the pair of you reunite before dropping to the mud beneath you both. You pulled back for a second to look your brother over before pulling him close again and holding the back of his head. 

Joel had told you to go for a shower when your brother got settled but since he didn’t hear the shower turn on, he decided to cook. You hadn’t eaten since before you got to the bar and, despite your brother needing nourishment, you’d be in need of it, too. 

“Hey,”

You turned to look at Joel who was standing in the doorway. 

“Hey.”

“Here. I made you some stew.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“There’s more in the pot in the kitchen but, I’ve got to go and get Ellie. I’ll be back later, though.”

“Thank you, Joel. But, honestly, you don’t have to.”

“If I don’t, I have a feeling you’ll sit here all day and watch him and forget to look after yourself.”

“Joel-”

“I’ll be back. I promise.”

As Joel gave you a warm smile and left you with a bowl of fresh stew, you heard your brother’s voice. 

“Well, he’s nice. When’s the wedding?”

You put down the stew and rushed to his side. “You’re awake.”

“And you’re in love.”

“Randy.”

“Y/n.”

“He’s just a friend.”

“Well, I don’t know what you’ve been doing for the last four years, but that is definitely not the look of friendship and don’t give me any of that bullshit about how he doesn’t like you. He’s in love with you.”

“Now who’s the one with the bullshit.”

“Hey, don’t forget, I have the luxury of the male perspective. He’s in love with you, kid.”

“Did you get a concussion on your way here?”

“Maybe a few. But I’m still right. And so is he. You need to eat. And stop watching me sleep. It’s both weird and creepy. It’s like when you were six and would sleep walk into my room and watch me sleep.”

“I did not do that.”

“You totally did. Do you not remember mom had to start locking my door at night so you couldn’t get in?”

“Oh, yeah.” you smiled at the weird memory.

“Go on, eat. And then go and get me a bowl. It smells good.”

“Taste’s good, too.” you said, trying not to burn your mouth on a hot piece of carrot. 

God, if that man didn’t make you fall from his looks and charm alone, his cooking tipped you over the edge. 

Hours passed and eventually Joel came back only to find you sat outside in the back garden. The window to your brother’s bedroom was open so you’d be able to hear him call if he needed you though you doubted it since he was a heavy sleeper and he would sleep all day and night if he could. 

“Hey, what are you doing out here?”

“Wanted to watch the rain fall.”

“Mind if I join you?”

You shook your head and smiled, “Not at all.”

Joel sat just close enough to you for you to feel his body heat as he covered his lap with a spare blanket you had on the bench. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Like I could sleep for a year.”

Joel mirrored your smile as you laughed and set your book down. “I just…for the longest time I thought he was gone. I’d made myself believe it and then suddenly he’s back and he’s alive and he’s…he’s here.”

“You look really happy.”

“I am really happy. How’s Ellie?”

“She’s good. She’s having a sleepover tonight with a couple friends she met at school. I’m just hoping she won’t be a bad influence on them.”

“I’m sure she won’t.” you assured him. “Besides, it might not hurt for those kids to learn a couple swear words here and there.”

“God, you sound just like her.”

“Oh, come on, Joel. You can’t tell me you weren’t swearing like a sailor when you were her age.”

“Growing up is a tough gig.”

“Amen to that. Why not be able to swear your way through the rough periods?”

Joel simply smiled at you and you smiled back before turning to watch the rain pour its way down and land on the country garden you’d managed to plant for yourself. 

What you didn’t notice, at first at least, was Joel’s gaze fixing itself on your side profile. He looked at you with such wonder and kindness and love, Randy - who watched from his bedroom window - wanted to throw a rock at you just so you might, in fact, look in Joel’s direction and see that your brother was right in saying that Joel was completely head-over-heels in love with you. 

And probably had been for the longest time. 

Though, rather than interfere and have you poison his stew with some random plant you’d been growing in your garden, probably plotting his death, he quietly closed his window and left you and Joel to it. 

But not before wishing upon the highest star he could see. 

“Please. Please, please, please, for the love of God, let these two idiots be together. I don’t know how much more of the lovey-dovey eyes I can take. And I’ve only been here for 24 hours. Thank you. Amen…and all that.”

You both sat for a while, in a quiet solitude. 

It was quaint. 

It was also the first time you’d held an audience with the man and not freaked out, tripped over your words or even blushed so hard you thought your blood vessels might, in fact, break or burst at any moment. 

“You know, when we were kids, we’d spend hours outside. He’d always be playing football and I’d be with my dad in the garden.”

“Was he the one that taught you about plants?”

You nodded with a soft smile graced on your lips. “Yeah. He was a Horticultural and Agricultural Professor. He knew everything that could ever be known about plants and what they helped with, also what they hindered with.”

“And your mom?”

“She worked in Business Management.” you said. “Randy took after her more. Was closer to her, too. I mean, we were all close. And I was close to my mom, but…you know that connection a child has with their parents. One is stronger than the other? When they’re ill or they get hurt, it’s the parent they go to?”

Joel nodded. 

“For him, that was my mom. For me, it was my dad. Randy spent more time at her office - mostly because he had a crush on her co-worker Annie. Meanwhile, I’d go to Dad’s lectures and tell Mom all about them and she and Randy would sit and listen for hours. I loved it.”

“So, is that what you did? Before the world went to shit and all?”

“The world has always been shit, but, yes. Though, I studied Biology instead. It gave me more places to find a job. And, for about two years I taught High School Science. I loved it but I always needed something else to keep me busy so I’d go to the library and pick out books and I taught myself to be my own mechanic. It was cheaper and easier than dealing with those who would ask if my husband would be coming with me to drop off my car and when my ‘husband’ didn’t turn up, would hit on me to the point where I once threatened to break their nose.”

“And did you? Break it, I mean?”

“Joel Miller. I only threatened to break his nose. I broke his wrist, instead.”

Joel smiled for a moment. “Did he not press charges?”

“Nope. Luckily his sister had just come round the corner and she was some fancy lawyer in New York. She threatened to break his other and then we went out to lunch. Turned out he had a history of broken bones.”

Joel laughed and you found yourself laughing, too. 

It felt freeing. 

“What about you? Tommy told me you had your own business.”

“Yeah, I, uh, I was a contractor in Texas.”

From there, you and Joel spent over two hours talking about the past and your lives before the Outbreak. Everything; from your childhood to his, you work and eventually, children. 

Joel hadn’t meant to bring Sarah up. Hell, he didn’t even talk about her with Tommy, or Tess for that matter. Sure, there was some mention of her here and there, but he’d never told anyone of her as a baby or of the silly things she used to do as a kid that would make him laugh and smile. 

“She sounds wonderful.” you smiled. 

Joel’s smile, although still with him, faded a little as he looked to his hands, rubbing his fingers against each other. 

“Yeah, she was.”

“It sounds like she would have liked Ellie, too.”

Part of Joel returned at the mention of Ellie from you. “Oh, completely. They’re not similar - I mean, Sarah was more…girly? But they’re also not unsimilar. She would have loved her.”

Neither you or Joel fully knew which daughter he meant when he said that; She would have loved her. Ellie? Ellie would have loved her. Sarah? Sarah would have loved her. Both? They would have loved each other. 

However, just as you both sat, looking at each other with sad yet content smiles, a light began to flicker on the porch and with a sigh, you got up. 

“This damn thing. I just changed the bulb yesterday.”

Within moments, you had your ladder and tool box out as well as a new bulb. 

“Are you sure you don’t need any help?”

“Nope. I’ve got it.”

“Okay, but, be careful. It’s still a little slippy out here.”

Joel spoke the truth. Despite being the spot where they sat being completely dry, the other half of the porch was still somehow sprayed with water. 

Whilst you got to work trying to take the cover from the light, hammering the screwdriver end in with your hand until you heard the pop!, Joel had his foot on the bottom step of the ladder, watching you from below. 

Yet, somehow, you still managed to slip once you, after a very rare struggle, managed to get the cover from the bulb off. 

Maybe it was some twist of fate, but somehow you ended up in Joel’s arms. 

At first, your back remained to him. 

“You okay, Darlin’?”

For the first time since being sat with him, you found yourself speechless again. Flustered. 

“Oh, I, uh…mm-hmm.”

“You sure?”

Turning your head, you found Joel inches from you. Your bodies were pressed so tight, you’d be surprised if even a shadow could fit between you both. 

“Yes.”

Joel swallowed thickly as his gaze flicked from your eyes to your lips and back again. You could feel his warm palm spreading across your hip, his strong forearm flush against the bottom of your back, pulling you just that little bit closer to him. And when he spoke, you found your breath caught in your throat. 

“Can I kiss you?”

Your brain felt both electric and fried at the same time. Maybe you were just hallucinating; imagining he wanted to kiss you. 

But then his other hand came up and brushed the stray hairs from your face, tucking them behind your ear. 

“Because I’d really like to, Darlin’. But I won’t unless I have your permission.”

If that wasn’t enough to make a girl melt on the spot. 

At first, all you could do was nod. 

“I need words, Darlin’.”

Good, Lord!

Swallowing thickly, you forced your voice from your throat. “Y-Yes.”

“You don’t sound too sure.” Joel hesitated. 

“Yes, Joel. You can kiss me.”

Your voice, although still quiet, was more assertive that time. 

“Are you-”

“Just shut up and kiss me, Miller.”

You saw a split second of Joel’s smile grace his face before he pulled you closer to him and kissed your lips. 

And it. Was. Electric. 

Your hand came to his collar, pulling him closer to you although you both figured that was impossible by now. 

His thumb brushed the side of your temple before he pushed his hand through your hair and drank you in once more. Meanwhile, the arm that held you securely around your back, tensed. His hand came into a fist and it scrunched the corner of your jumper and t-shirt with it. 

You moved your hand to his neck, pulling him closer still until finally you both had to stop in order to catch your breath. 

Joel’s hand relaxed for a moment before you felt his palm touch your skin beneath your clothes. 

“Sorry,” he apologised after a moment, his voice husky. “Got carried away.”

You smiled and shook your head against his. “Don’t be.”

“Mind if I do it again?”

“Not at all.”

[squidinu]

chapter 3 story update is on the way

[seiwas]

thinking of kind of first meet with atsumu but he’s had the biggest crush on you from being a friend of a friend and the first time he talks to you he’s fumbling and stuttering and he doesn’t know what to say because you’re smiling at him prettier than he could have ever even imagined, and you’re saying his name, and did it always sound this good? did his ma name him atsumu because she knew, just like she always does, that you’d be saying it like that?

[violent138]

Tim: "Aw, does someone have a crush?"

Damian: "Silence, Drake, there's only one love of my life--"

Bruce, wincing as he remembers his past experiences when Dick was around that age, and really hoping he doesn't have to be embarrassed in front of multiple colleagues again:

Damian: "--and it's my katana."

Tim: "Good God, you're lame."

Bruce, nearly collapsing from relief:

[cillsworld]

Cillian Murphy✧₊⁺

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

Pretty pretty man⋆⭒˚.⋆𝜗𝜚

[cheecats]

Can I request Shadowsight for the designs? Or maybe Frecklewish if you'd rather?

I'm curious what either would look like in your style! (Which I adore btw it's SO good)

i know Shadowsight is described as small in the books, but I prefer to interpret him with the Tigerstar(tm) tallness with Dovewing's build, and that he tends to shrink down/lower his voice while talking to appear as meek/non-threatening as possible because his peers get nervous around him

[moeblob]

Huevember 22

Brent, the most expressive bard to ever bard.

[hikarry]

"You have no idea," Crowley whispers, leaning in closer still, his lips hovering just above the angel's. "Once I have you all to myself, I'll show you such sinful things, you'll forget you were ever an angel…"

I am sick, I am depressed and my adhd is acting up, therefore all claims that I might be projecting onto Crowley are all irrelevant

[munsonsquinnn]

when i tell you a celebrity crush has NEVER had a chokehold on me like joseph fucking quinn…. LOOK AT HIM. so beautiful. i love you.

[sodamnbored]

Leo, turning over Jason’s coin: So it says Julius? In what world is that a ‘J’?

Jason, amused: It’s Latin. Technically, you’re supposed to say it like ‘Yulius’.

Leo, wrinkling his nose: Yulius. Does that apply to Jason too? Are we supposed to say Yay instead of Jay?

Percy grinning, wiggling his eyebrows: That’s certainly what Nico says every time Jason walks into the room.

Nico blushing hard, glaring and elbowing Percy: PERCY.

[tennessoui]

au where jedi healers take a vow not unlike jedi temple guards, but instead of wearing a mask and becoming anonymous, they give up their sight and wear blindfolds to allow the Force to guide their every action. it’s also supposed to blind them to their patients’ differences, which used to be symbolic but since the war between the jedi and the sith broke out, has become much less so

because jedi healers are supposed to heal regardless of if their patient is a jedi or a sith, when they’re deployed on battlefields after the fighting is over, they use the Force to heal every injured person they come upon.

anakin skywalker, who was chosen from the creche and agreed to follow the Healing path at the age of 9, thinks it’s sort of stupid that they have to wait until after the fighting is over to begin to help because he can feel people dying in the Force, he can feel their pain--

young general kenobi, who remembers his old creche-mate anakin skywalker and how blue his eyes once were, thinks it’s beyond foolhardy that this healer is stealing out across an active battlefield, blindfold over his eyes and bending down to heal karking darth maul and single-handedly diverting all of obi-wan’s attention away from the droids and sith legion because now he has to make sure he’s ok he can’t just leave him to the whims of the Force, he’s unprotected and he’s going to get himself killed----

it’s a headache and a half for everyone involved because general kenobi keeps abandoning his battle strategy and sometimes even position to ensure healer skywalker’s safety and healer skywalker keeps dropping everything and everyone the moment he feels obi-wan kenobi get hurt in the Force to rush to his side, Force Vow of Healing Equality be damned.

but......the Council keeps deploying them to the same battlefield because healer skywalker is never more effective as when he knows he must heal fifty mortal wounds before he can rid general kenobi of a headache, and general kenobi is never as ruthless as when skywalker is on the field close to him, in potential harm’s way

despite how much they insist they hate each other 

[stellablahh]

god bless the quiet girls crushing on popular boys.

[eesttm]

"Audience... Shush!"

S07E09 outtake

[moog-enthusiast]

PHOTOBOMB WEEK DAY 1– PINING

[mcpostinghours]

Another messy sketch page! Howdy gets distracted pouring Barnaby a drink. Barnaby is amused.

[bumblingbabooshka]

Neelix/T'Pel! An alternate idea is that T'Pel is a person who's difficult to like and one by one every member of the crew encounters her and has a poor experience but Neelix can't help but like her and even feel he understands her intimately because of his experience seeing her through Tuvok's eyes as 'Tuvix'. He finds her in the mess hall alone one night and hears her complain about how the replicated tea tastes and how Kathryn is as usual hopeless at such domestic tasks and Tuvok is off somewhere. [Oh, he's probably doing something very important Mrs. Vulcan!] Yes, no doubt. There's a long pause then Neelix gets up and tells her to stay right there! And he makes her a cup of tea and she takes a sip after careful inspection and finds that it's just how she likes it - exactly how she likes it, and it's the first compliment she gives anyone on the crew in the time we've seen her - including Janeway. Neelix smiles, watching her drink it, as if remembering something. "My pleasure!" he says. Zoom out as soft music plays.