#queerplatonic love

[tremendously-crazy]

"you ship sherlock holmes and john watson?" soooo close! their relationship is actually more complex than simple labels like "platonic" or "romantic," and to force one or the other on them fundamentally misunderstands the bond between them!! hope this helps! <3

[imighthaveadumbcrush]

I am so deeply in love with you. No words will ever do justice to my adoration and affection for you. All I can say is I love you I love you I love you I love you

[theantitheticallogician]

how and when did i integrate such a vital amount of personality traits from you? like was it this easy for all of me to slowly blur with all of you?

[be-in-a-qpr-with]

Being in a qpr with someone (especially if it's your first "relationship") it's so great. The way I explain it is as if someone placed a huge blank canvas with all the art supplies I can think of and let me do what I want.

You can explore, experiment and communicate more freely I feel like it's because you are not restricted to the rules of what a "traditional relationship" is and that's my favourite thing about it, beside my queerplatonic partner of course!!

[mothersgaia]

When you realise that love feels amazing and it is felt in so many more ways than just romantic and sexual, everything will feel so much better.

More freeing, less pressure, all love.

[lemonycranberries]

no but. queerplatonic ineffable husbands is so important to me. so precious. you don't understand-

[mbm-artist]

Have you ever felt a love that you couldn't quite describe, no matter how hard you try?

~~~

Meet Scarf and Muff! These two are whatever you interpret them to be.

The only things that can be considered fact are:

1. They love each other, deeply

2. They're bonded for life, through thick and thin, no matter what

3. They're around the same age, even if ageless

4. They are equals on all fronts

5. Their matching scarf and ear muffs are always the same shade of blue

You can apply whatever characteristics you like to them, they are vessels that I am sharing with the world. Their intended purpose is to show love in all its forms, and just how different our perception of it can be. They can have any names, be any species, be any gender, any orientation (whether it be romantic or otherwise), straight or queer, familial or not, any identity you can imagine can apply to them. And I mean any identity. Same goes with color scheme, their colors are whatever you imagine that they are (with the exception of Fact #5).

* Note: The only hard rules I am implementing are

1. Please don't sexualize them, not only am I a minor but that is not really what they are meant to embody.

2. I'd prefer if you didn't depict them in a violent setting, such as attacking each other or others. Just a matter of personal preference.

3. Don't depict them in immoral ways (engaging in pedophilia, noncon, incest, etc.), for what should be obvious reasons.

(Somehow if this gets popular and people do it anyway [I doubt it though] please don't use any of the BSS specific tags on this post and tag it appropriately at the VERY least, nobody really wants to see that.)

Aside from all of that, have fun!

[coye]

I'd argue that a lot of straight people actually engage in what you could call "heteronormative bisexuality." Hear me out: It’s not necessarily because they have romantic feelings, but more so because they find the taboo nature of it exciting and thrilling, or they just love fucking, period. It's not internalized homophobia or shame about their sexuality. They're just really into the sexual aspect of it. They don't have emotional or romantic feelings towards the same gender. To some people, sex is just sex. There’s nothing deep about it.

I’d also argue that straight people are queerplatonic too. Straight people have close, intimate friendships with members of the same gender. But that doesn't necessarily mean there are any romantic or sexual feelings involved. It's about deep emotional intimacy and understanding. They click with their same sex friends in a way that feels special and almost queer coded, even if the relationship is strictly platonic.

So in both cases, I think there's this gray area where straight people are exhibiting behaviors that might seem a little bit queer, but it's not rooted in any kind of internal struggle or identity crisis. It's just people exploring different aspects of intimacy and sexuality. You can still firmly identify as straight/heterosexual.

[infinite-girlposting]

shot awake and perfectly upright at a 90° angle with the explicitly clear thought "AM I A WIFEGUY" so that's how my sunday ended

[antithetical-logician-the-nerd]

Because I'm a music lover and simultaneously feel this stupid queerplatonic love for someone, Imma loop Missing Piece by Vance Joy *one of our joint favorite songs that they recommended* and feel my love for this loser make my chest constrict and make me sick and feel all "I want to protect them from all the bad things that exist and I hate everyone and everything that made them mad and made them doubt themself and made them feel like shit and I will actively go to war for them but never tell them how much they mean to me because queerplatonic crushes are annoying and anyway why would they care?"

Cause this song is grossly queerplatonic coded. Like painfully so.

[tremendously-crazy]

"Love is a beautiful thing"

Yeah, it is

[imighthaveadumbcrush]

I want to shout "I love you" at the top of my lungs, but I know you don't like loud noises, so I'll whisper it to you instead

[theantitheticallogician]

the heartbreak, disappointment and cringe value of the object of my queerplatonic love having male pronouns

[honeybeebaaz]

Honestly, the tought of jam having this pure platonic love for each other like two heaven sent friends is so sweet to my aroace heart I can't ship them as a couple!

[thecouncilofidiots]

After over a decade of mistreatment, our hair is starting to curl again with our (new) hair care routine

It's annoying as fuck (/lighthearted) but Sin is ecstatic, so I guess I can tolerate it lol

I may not give a shit about our looks, but it makes my beloved partner happy when we're taking care of our appearance...

Ah, the things I do for this silly demon <3 -Ace

[frogfriend-247]

Crushing on a friend and don’t know what to do? Here’s some pointers! Take what works for you and leave the rest :)

Identify your feelings. Take some time to think about how you feel about them, even if you’re sure it’s romantic. How do you define romantic love? How do you identify when it happens to you? Lots of people identify romance by intensity, but this can lead one askew as platonic love can be intense. Note: some people are unable to or find it really difficult to identify and label their emotions, or they don’t like labels, and that’s valid.

Importance of the friend in your life. How close are you with this friend? What unique things do you get from their friendship? When you think about your future, what are they doing? What do you like about the friend? What do you not like? What are you conflicted about?

What you want to change. If you’re considering asking them out, take some time to consider what it is specifically that you want to change about the relationship. There are a lot of societal ideas of what a relationship “should” be like — but the truth is, it’s not all or nothing. The only people who get to dictate the relationship are the people in the relationship. Identify what you are looking for in a relationship. Examples: Do you want more physical contact? Do you want hand holding and hugging? Do you want kissing and sex? Do you want marriage and kids? Do you want cohabitation and pets? Do you want a new label and long-term commitment? Be as honest and specific with yourself as you can.

Other person’s feelings. I encourage you NOT to spend a lot of time speculating about how they feel about you. It’s impossible to know for sure what’s going on in someone’s head, and humans are actually terrible at identifying flirting (at least according to the studies I’ve seen). What I’m suggesting here is to consider what kind of feelings you want the other person to have for you. “Romantic” is a broad, subjective term, and not everyone experiences that kind of (or any kind of) love in the same way. Is it important to you that they label their emotions as romantic? What specific emotions and sentiments are important to you? Trust, care, commitment, etc. Note: It’s not inherently important that the feelings “match.” If it’s important to you, that’s perfectly valid — just keep in mind that not everything has to line up perfectly in order to be happy and healthy. As far as I’m concerned, labels are meant to be descriptive, not prescriptive.

Communication. This is vital to any kind of relationship. If the communication is bad, then the relationship — whether it changes to romantic or stays platonic — will not be healthy and happy. Talk to the friend about it if possible and discuss how you can best make both parties comfortable in your relationship.

Support system. Make sure, if possible, that you have friends/family/pets/etc. who can act as a support system. It is always possible for something to go wrong, because there is a whole ass other human being involved! You can’t control the actions of others, so if you decide to have the conversation, make sure that there will be people to help you get back on your feet should anything go too poorly. That being said!! try not to let your fear stop you from initiating the conversation if you want to have it! If the reactions of others are the only real mystery factor remaining, then there’s no real use in backing out: If the unpredictable reactions of others were a reason to back out, you would never do anything ever! Do keep in mind your safety however. Don’t shy away from conflict, but if you have reason to fear for your *safety,* that’s a whole different matter, and you should handle it with caution.

My philosophy is that relationships are extremely personal to the individuals in them and are better viewed as a buffet, where you and the other person/people can pick and choose what you want, than as a regular restaurant, where you have to pick from a list of acceptable options.

I hope this was helpful! I have some experience helping friends through situations like this and I’ve been on the other end of this — the friend whose friend was crushing on them — so I think my perspective could be useful, but I have no idea if I worded and formatted it clearly enough.

I wish you all well! And good luck :)

-Your friendly neighborhood aro