#queerplatonic love

[celestiachan]

the like button is heart shaped because i press it to let you know that i love you

[tremendously-crazy]

My idea of romance is closer to a very intimate friendship than anything resembling typical romance.

[imighthaveadumbcrush]

I am so deeply in love with you. No words will ever do justice to my adoration and affection for you. All I can say is I love you I love you I love you I love you

[love-ardour-anarchism]

I started this year sitting round a table every friday 

and I stare after every visibly queer stranger on the bus 

and I still cry at traffic lights when I just think of you

I lost someone I thought I’d never have when I was sixteen and afraid 

I lost someone I thought I’d never lose when I was twenty six and I felt so in love with you

now I am teetering on thirty and in a sudden end of January twist I’m staying sober despite all the things that make wish I didn’t feel a thing

cause life is struggle, life is sugar, life is pleasure and its pain and we bought bread in Paris in your neighborhood that I will now quite likely never see again

and I cry about that one too no matter how silly that might feel cause I allow myself to feel

and given many a god‘s mercy, may Freyr grant me the serenity to cherish that which doesn’t hurt but heals me,

may Freya grant me courage and Fenris grant me rage to strike decisively at things that ache that I can change;

and Loki, mother-trickster-parent-father grant me the clarity of knowing what is what;

and Odin, one eyed wisdom witcher, near Mimirs whispering reproach, may he give me all of the rest and all that's inbetween; to know what I can’t change and what for now I must abide

and to have hope and to just trust that things will change the way they change and I will live and love and prosper

for now I'll keep some hope inside my kitchen drawer that there could be a future shared between us where neither you nor me are hurting and our needs are matched and measured consciously on scales of silver justice

[theantitheticallogician]

how and when did i integrate such a vital amount of personality traits from you? like was it this easy for all of me to slowly blur with all of you?

[vampiricbisexuality]

I love Winter btw, I feel like I need to say that because they are genuinely the best person I have ever known, and likely the best person I ever will.

[be-in-a-qpr-with]

Being in a qpr with someone (especially if it's your first "relationship") it's so great. The way I explain it is as if someone placed a huge blank canvas with all the art supplies I can think of and let me do what I want.

You can explore, experiment and communicate more freely I feel like it's because you are not restricted to the rules of what a "traditional relationship" is and that's my favourite thing about it, beside my queerplatonic partner of course!!

[lemonycranberries]

no but. queerplatonic ineffable husbands is so important to me. so precious. you don't understand-

[mbm-artist]

Have you ever felt a love that you couldn't quite describe, no matter how hard you try?

~~~

Meet Scarf and Muff! These two are whatever you interpret them to be.

The only things that can be considered fact are:

1. They love each other, deeply

2. They're bonded for life, through thick and thin, no matter what

3. They're around the same age, even if ageless

4. They are equals on all fronts

5. Their matching scarf and ear muffs are always the same shade of blue

You can apply whatever characteristics you like to them, they are vessels that I am sharing with the world. Their intended purpose is to show love in all its forms, and just how different our perception of it can be. They can have any names, be any species, be any gender, any orientation (whether it be romantic or otherwise), straight or queer, familial or not, any identity you can imagine can apply to them. And I mean any identity. Same goes with color scheme, their colors are whatever you imagine that they are (with the exception of Fact #5).

* Note: The only hard rules I am implementing are

1. Please don't sexualize them, not only am I a minor but that is not really what they are meant to embody.

2. I'd prefer if you didn't depict them in a violent setting, such as attacking each other or others. Just a matter of personal preference.

3. Don't depict them in immoral ways (engaging in pedophilia, noncon, incest, etc.), for what should be obvious reasons.

(Somehow if this gets popular and people do it anyway [I doubt it though] please don't use any of the BSS specific tags on this post and tag it appropriately at the VERY least, nobody really wants to see that.)

Aside from all of that, have fun!

[celestiachan]

saying i love you isn't enough i need to snuggle you and fall asleep next to you

[tremendously-crazy]

"you ship sherlock holmes and john watson?" soooo close! their relationship is actually more complex than simple labels like "platonic" or "romantic," and to force one or the other on them fundamentally misunderstands the bond between them!! hope this helps! <3

[imighthaveadumbcrush]

I want to shout "I love you" at the top of my lungs, but I know you don't like loud noises, so I'll whisper it to you instead

[love-ardour-anarchism]

QUEERPLATONIC (all capital letters)

queerplatonic means I’ve loved you in some ways I’ve never felt before cause I’ve felt love and I’ve loved many at this point but JUST the way that I feel when you look at me is new and unrefined queerplatonic means that somedays you call me your girlfriend and somedays I’m your bestest friend you’ve ever had it means that some days you reach out your hand on busy streets and I come flying like the breeze that ruffles then your messy hair and some days you don’t have it in you to be touched and thats okay the way you grin at me in twilight on the evening bus the way you laugh at all my dumbest jokes and how you speak of children that I might just have one day and you would be their auntie, surely and how you moan when I massage your back just right and how I melt into your scent of lavender as you just rub my shoulders under dimmed apartment light

queerplatonic means that you and I agree whatever we should be on any given day it means I love and and you love me, no matter what the others say and it means we define how you and I entwine, the ways we touch and speak to one another and I could never love another just the way that I love you that I love others equal in your kind and there is no compare to any in my mind

[theantitheticallogician]

the heartbreak, disappointment and cringe value of the object of my queerplatonic love having male pronouns

[antithetical-logician-the-nerd]

Because I'm a music lover and simultaneously feel this stupid queerplatonic love for someone, Imma loop Missing Piece by Vance Joy *one of our joint favorite songs that they recommended* and feel my love for this loser make my chest constrict and make me sick and feel all "I want to protect them from all the bad things that exist and I hate everyone and everything that made them mad and made them doubt themself and made them feel like shit and I will actively go to war for them but never tell them how much they mean to me because queerplatonic crushes are annoying and anyway why would they care?"

Cause this song is grossly queerplatonic coded. Like painfully so.

[frogfriend-247]

Crushing on a friend and don’t know what to do? Here’s some pointers! Take what works for you and leave the rest :)

Identify your feelings. Take some time to think about how you feel about them, even if you’re sure it’s romantic. How do you define romantic love? How do you identify when it happens to you? Lots of people identify romance by intensity, but this can lead one askew as platonic love can be intense. Note: some people are unable to or find it really difficult to identify and label their emotions, or they don’t like labels, and that’s valid.

Importance of the friend in your life. How close are you with this friend? What unique things do you get from their friendship? When you think about your future, what are they doing? What do you like about the friend? What do you not like? What are you conflicted about?

What you want to change. If you’re considering asking them out, take some time to consider what it is specifically that you want to change about the relationship. There are a lot of societal ideas of what a relationship “should” be like — but the truth is, it’s not all or nothing. The only people who get to dictate the relationship are the people in the relationship. Identify what you are looking for in a relationship. Examples: Do you want more physical contact? Do you want hand holding and hugging? Do you want kissing and sex? Do you want marriage and kids? Do you want cohabitation and pets? Do you want a new label and long-term commitment? Be as honest and specific with yourself as you can.

Other person’s feelings. I encourage you NOT to spend a lot of time speculating about how they feel about you. It’s impossible to know for sure what’s going on in someone’s head, and humans are actually terrible at identifying flirting (at least according to the studies I’ve seen). What I’m suggesting here is to consider what kind of feelings you want the other person to have for you. “Romantic” is a broad, subjective term, and not everyone experiences that kind of (or any kind of) love in the same way. Is it important to you that they label their emotions as romantic? What specific emotions and sentiments are important to you? Trust, care, commitment, etc. Note: It’s not inherently important that the feelings “match.” If it’s important to you, that’s perfectly valid — just keep in mind that not everything has to line up perfectly in order to be happy and healthy. As far as I’m concerned, labels are meant to be descriptive, not prescriptive.

Communication. This is vital to any kind of relationship. If the communication is bad, then the relationship — whether it changes to romantic or stays platonic — will not be healthy and happy. Talk to the friend about it if possible and discuss how you can best make both parties comfortable in your relationship.

Support system. Make sure, if possible, that you have friends/family/pets/etc. who can act as a support system. It is always possible for something to go wrong, because there is a whole ass other human being involved! You can’t control the actions of others, so if you decide to have the conversation, make sure that there will be people to help you get back on your feet should anything go too poorly. That being said!! try not to let your fear stop you from initiating the conversation if you want to have it! If the reactions of others are the only real mystery factor remaining, then there’s no real use in backing out: If the unpredictable reactions of others were a reason to back out, you would never do anything ever! Do keep in mind your safety however. Don’t shy away from conflict, but if you have reason to fear for your *safety,* that’s a whole different matter, and you should handle it with caution.

My philosophy is that relationships are extremely personal to the individuals in them and are better viewed as a buffet, where you and the other person/people can pick and choose what you want, than as a regular restaurant, where you have to pick from a list of acceptable options.

I hope this was helpful! I have some experience helping friends through situations like this and I’ve been on the other end of this — the friend whose friend was crushing on them — so I think my perspective could be useful, but I have no idea if I worded and formatted it clearly enough.

I wish you all well! And good luck :)

-Your friendly neighborhood aro