#queer platonic relationships

[theexhaustedqueer]

Guys, there’s a really obvious enemy here and— Oh! What a surprise!

It isn’t each other.

[catwouthats]

Whoever explains QPRs to Tommyinnit is gonna change his life I think

[redysetdare]

I think i just need to express that the culture surrounding QPRs right now made me think that i couldn't have strong bonds with my friends. Society told me i cant have strong bonds with friends because that was only for romantic relationships. Then i went into aro spaces and this idea was reinforced using QPRs instead of romantic relationships. it was "You can still have strong bonds with people without romance! It can just be a QPR instead!" "QPRs are MORE than friendship so you can have STRONGER BONDS than you would with friends."

it made me think that the relationships i wanted with my friends HAD to be something other than friendship for it to be as strong as i wanted. If i wanted to be the first person in someones life i had to enter some sort of committed relationship. if I wanted someone to care about me as strongly as i did them then it would have to be a relationship that was "more" than friendship.

I thought I wanted a QPR because i was told the only way to get that care and security that I wanted was to enter into a relationship that was "more" than friendship. because friends didn't care that much. because friends didn't live together their entire lives. because friends were never the priority relationship wise. and it took me years to realize that i didn't want any partnership and i shouldn't have to be in one to want these things from a friend. these things CAN be something friends can do. but i found that out on my own. because the aro community kept saying "you want a QPR" when i just wanted a friend who finally saw me as a priority in their life.

[alexei-home-fromthewar-at-last]

Yeah, I want a QPR: queer planktonic relationship.

[silverskye13]

... So Tanguish could possibly become the Saint of QPRs?

The idea of Tanguish being a Saint that folks in QPR relationships pray to is amazing to me. And it would fit his story arc -- a Saint is joined in lasting friendship by a knight and dear acolyte, and it is working with him, by him, and through him that his miracles are done. If he were a Saint in the more Catholic-leaning style, I feel like he would be a great Saint for QPR.

... however, Tanguish, the beloved character, isn't real. But this did get me thinking about actual, literal Catholic saints, so here I have compiled for you a couple that I, someone who isn't Catholic and who has no experience with Catholic ritual or customs outside of its few intersecting lines with Protestantism, would consider Saints of QPR, with the help of a book I bought recently because I like the idea of religion but not the actual practicing of it: A Saint A Day According to the Liturgical Calendar of the Church, compiled by Berchmans Bittle.

St. Raphael the Archangel; Feast Day, 24 October

St. Raphael is one of the [several] saints often recommended to people having trouble with, or looking for, lasting love. His main story involves Tobias, a young man on a journey to collect money owed to his father. During his journey, Raphael saves him from many harms both physical and spiritual, even going so far as to help Tobias marry the love of his life, a young woman afflicted by a demon who keeps killing her husbands. The way he combats this demon is by having the two stay celibate during the three days after their marriage, during which Raphael binds the demon and saves them. The emphasis in this part of the story is that lust and carnal love are what called the demon to the young woman, and so platonic love [and also the perfect Love of God] is what defeats it.

Even though this story does end with Tobias getting married and having a more traditional love, I think given Raphael's story involves so much intentional companionship, and given there is a heavy emphasis on the merits of platonic love as something that can help bind demons, I think he would be a great saint to pray to for help in QPR relationships, especially if it involves interceding in the relationship where you feel like you need growth in companionship, being an attentive partner attuned to the other person's needs.

St. John the Evangelist; Feast Day, 27 December

St. John the Evangelist! [Points in raised Protestant!] Hey! Hey! I know him! John was one of the Apostles [was there when Christ was around], "the disciple whom Jesus loved (John 21:7). I just, really like that the verse literally doesn't even call him John, it calls him "The disciple whom Jesus loved." Could you imagine being loved by someone so much, for a moment, your name is simply "the person they loved." I feel like there's some strong QPR vibes there. Bring with that the fact that, when Jesus was crucified, he declared to John that his mother, Mary, was now John's mother, and told Mary that John was now her son. Now, I'm sure there's a lot of biblical history you could add into the unpacking of that -- unfortunately I am not a biblical historian, and don't know how much Mary's life would have been impacted if she no longer had one of her sons to help her day-to-day. But even without that context, it is a mighty thing to love and trust someone so much, that as you are dying, you entrust the safety of your family to them. Not only that, but you declare they are your family, blood of your blood.

It is for this reason that John the Evangelist is already the patron saint of both friendship and love, but I feel like he is a very close parallel to QPR relationships. Would you trust your partner not just with yourself, but with the love and respect of your family as well? I would think so. I would hope so.

Saint Clare of Assisi; Feast Day, 12 August

Saint Clare was first led to Christ [and friardom] by Saint Francis of Assisi, and their stories are closely entwined because of this. Clare's story goes that she was betrothed to marry at the age of 12, but protested she wanted to wait until she was older when it would make more sense. During her wait, she heard Saint Francis preaching, and was so taken by his teaching that she decided to devote herself to God and have no other husband than Jesus Christ [if you don't know that much about Christianity in general, basically, everyone is Christ's bride, and after you die, you get to live with him in the perfect house he built you.] Anyway, Clare's family didn't approve of her decision, so in the dead of night, Clare sneaks out of the house and meets up with Saint Francis, who cuts her hair and dresses her in sackcloth, so she can live as a friar. After this she goes on to found her own abbey, where she is described as being humble and kind, always taking care of the sisters of her order, washing their feet and coming to them in the middle of the night when they're sick.

So, we're going to squint really hard at the very modern, Mulan-style queerness of "sneaking out of your disapproving family's house to cut your hair and temporarily live as a man." We're going to take that, hold it very close to us, and gently put it at the center of my little "web of QPR" I'm weaving around these Catholic Saints. What a way to put queer in QPR, even temporarily. Add to that the fact that Clare and Francis are bound up together as friends, so devout to each others' teachings they spearhead each other further in their fellowship with Christ. Then put on top of that the platonic love Clare shows to her sisters through acts of care and service, and I think Clare is a great contender for Saint of QPR.

That's it. That's the list.

Any Catholics following me that are still, by some miracle, reading this, I apologize if I in any way butchered your religion. That! Was not my intention! I admit I don't know the best way to be respectful, it's a culture I was raised adjacent to, not in. My closes approximation is my roommate, who is ex-catholic, who speaks with about this level of humor when I pin her down long enough to talk about saints. I think she would have fun with this little post -- but she is my friend, and and also, not Catholic anymore. I have seen her practice more Navajo spiritualism than I have seen her practice Catholicism.

So. Preemptive apologies. Feel free to rip me a new one.

However if you're Catholic or ex Catholic and you think this is either funny or in any way accurate, give me your thoughts I want them. I tried to do this with as little Googling as possible, because, book. The book is old, so my list of Saints is limited, and I'm sure other queer catholics have done much better takes and put them online somewhere.

[karabwrites]

Summary:

What does it mean to love? Is it loud and joyous, a rallying cry from the rooftops? Or is it soft and small, in quiet touches and easy camaraderie?

Or, the one where Penelope, Colin and Eloise have always been each others’ family, even if they don’t know what that looks like quite yet.

[poussacha]

jsyk you can be aroace and also bi. aroace is often a spectrum in which you can occasionally experience romantic or sexual attraction and even if you don't, alterous attraction exists. your aroace identity doesn't erase your bi one.

[im-sorry--what]

QPRs are so amazing, I don't need to say more.

[loveforqprs]

Did you know I love platonic relationships? I really wanna see my partner rn and cuddle with them and kiss them? Did you know that?

[ghost-format]

Someone should make an app for queer platonic relationships that functions similar to a dating app

[m1dori-eyes]

OK LISTEN I'm not saying I have a "type" in my committed romantic/queer platonic relationships, HOWEVER I MAYYYYYY be 3 for 4 on he/they transmascs and 2/4 on people with dual citizenship in the US and the Netherlands.

[qbdatabase]

Common Bonds is an anthology of speculative short stories and poetry featuring aromantic characters. At the heart of this collection are the bonds that impact our lives from beginning to end: platonic relationships.

Within this anthology, a cursed seamstress finds comfort in the presence of a witch, teams of demon hunters work with their rival to save one of their own, a peculiar scholar gets attached to those he was meant to study, and queerplatonic shopkeepers guide their pupil as they explore their relationship needs and desires.

Through nineteen stories and poems, Common Bonds explores the ways platonic relationships enrich our lives.

[cabbakansas]

HP x PJO crossover

Percy: I made you. I own you. I will consume you. Percy (looming over muffins hot out of the oven): If I can't have you, nobody can. Rachel: Should we be worried? Harry: We'll stage an intervention if he ever says that to a living being.

[algor-mo4tis]

Being aromantic is being accepted into a qpr for two years and not even knowing until now

[caffeinated-crises]

Legit though, sick and tired of people saying they want weird gays when they don't want, like or even tolerate the weird gays they already have. - Cherry

"we need more weird gays" you can't handle aces & aros. you can't handle queer-platonic relationships. you can't handle it/its users. you can't handle neopronouns and xenogenders. you can't handle polyamory.

[nortimer]

Ik this is probably the fifteenth time you've seen someone say this but we need more qprs in fandom space. Instead of shipping we'll call it canoeing and we'll make it just as popular. Please I need this ok