#put them side by side and look at my insanity

[starmocha]

Caleb things I am anticipating/wanting/brainrotting

Putting him in the kitty suit so I can complete my harem of catboys and not look at his weird apple pfp anymore

Panda suit when I'm feeling a little silly

Finding out the length of his towel, I will be purchasing it, yes 💁‍♀️

Caleb's secret times, particularly cooking with him *side-eye devs for withholding Sylus'*

Reminder that there will most likely be a secret time of him taking care of you while you're on your period when you're at a higher affinity (maybe possible references to the past growing up together?)

Working out with Caleb. Caleb in workout clothes. Sweating. Grunting. Panting. (Any guesses on the activity or equipment he would use? 🤔)

Study/work time with Caleb 🥺

Study/work time with Caleb in the fucking panda suit 🐼

Claw machine dates and him cheating with his Evol (plsIfeellikeheshouldhave100%accuracywiththis)

Getting angry at him when he beats me in kitty cards lol

Touching his 🍆 and slapping his 🍑

Fight wanderers, I guess 🙄 /j (any guesses on our weapon of choice? Would it be possible if the devs introduce a new weapon?)

Maybe childhood memories of him and MC?

I need him and Zayne to make references to one another PLEASE

I...also need them commenting on one another’s Moments posts....

I also need childhood memories of him and Zayne, especially since he did say they need to invite Zayne to have dinner with them....

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS-TO-LOVER THREESOME POTENTIAL, THE MORE THE MERRIER, GET THOSE DICCS GIRLIE AND WATCH ZAYNE AND CALEB FUCK EACH OTH—

❄️🍎 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Finding out who the sexy supporting side character is

His birthday message and gift to us

Caleb's birthday celebration.....it's gonna be an apple cake, isn't it 😭😭😭

Actually I need the lores for Caleb's apple...fascination? (Just like I need the lore for Zayne's aversion to carrots)

Hearing him use the nickname "cutie", "honey", "darling", or "girlfriend" in the café.

Audio messages

.........his text messages when you're absent from the game for months......

The tête-à-tête feature, but particularly the one where he would comfort you when you tell him you had a bad day

finding out he's just another loser (affectionate) like the other four freaks (affectionate) with some sort of insane habits or quirks (judging)

I feel it in my soul that his plushies is the apple one, so just imagine his chibi form wearing an apple onesie 😭😭😭

Now also imagine regular Caleb dressed like an apple. I would bite him (sexually)

Begging the devs to bring back the kitties, so 1) I can have my kitties back 2) find out what breed of cat Caleb would be 3) make him wear the ears and tail in the café

Drunk Caleb pls 💁‍♀️

He's gonna have a horny memory just like the other four. It's coming (just like he will in yo—)

[biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer]

So I just wanted to say your writing is the most delicious, delighted thing I ever read, I could basically inhale it :D It's like wow!!

Anyway just a small request (If ur not that busy) can you make hcs of how good parents the kid at the back characters would be if they had a kid with Mc. Please with ur fav ice cream with sprinkles and a cherry on top (if u like cherries) with extra scoops (u don't have to do it if u don't want to) If u do then ur officially getting a geo plushie for Christmas

THE ART OF PARENTAGE

First of all, thank you so much for the kind words! I'm glad you felt like you could request me, despite my inactivity and overall lack of existence here. I do thank you for the plushie though, looking forward to it. ;)

Sidenote: Pretty sure Brittney and Jess are too gay for each other to have the thought of kids cross their minds tbh.

-- Signed solemnly by @biggest-geo-oogami-enjoyer AKA Sky Fort(resse)s and Burning Citadels <3

Let's start with the following: this man detests children. Cannot stand them. Would rather die than be in the immediate vicinity of one. Alas, all rules have their exceptions, and for Sol that exception would be your child. His child. The happy little accident that must've happened during one of your more intense sexual escapades. Oh well. Least you both agreed on just one.

Anyway in terms of being a parent, Sol is a very supportive and soothing dad. Considering how he grew up in neglectful, isolated and abusive circumstances, he would be nearly obsessive in the desire to make this family as safe, loving and wholesome as possible. He would rather be spat on by Ichabod than even consider the option of laying hands on either you or your child. He feels repulsed at the sheer idea.

Sol's a very poetic and artistic man, with a love for history and literature; in short, the 'humanities' side of things. He's the type of guy that would put in extra effort to entertain or educate his kid, especially if they're the more curious type. He'll also encourage his child to experiment with things, with a focus on arts and crafts and the theatrical. Don't be surprised if your kid starts spurting out "Splendid!" or "Stupendous" in the middle of dinner - which Sol cooks, mind you.

He'll be self-conscious of walking with his child, especially if you're with him, because despite how happy he is alongside you and this child, he's got a lot of insecurities. He's been attacked several times during uni in the middle of the day, the last thing he wants is for some idiot to recognise him with a child - call him a kidnapper or childfucker - or pull some other shit unto him.

If something happens to you? Or his kid? That man or woman is fucking 66 feet under. No way is he letting that slide, only thing that's gonna be sliding is his cock inside you every single night. His sex drive is insanely high, the fact you somehow only got one offspring from him is astounding.

Sol's a very patient man, and in topics he's good at (which is everything, to the surprise of many), he serves as a tutor, often encouraging his kid to ask him questions of any sort - he loves the morbid ones - and he does his best to explain in as child-filtered a way as possible.

Very protective father figure, will be insanely watchful over your child and especially anyone else who interacts with it. He's often torn between wanting his kid to be popular and happy, while also subtly wishing his kid learns that it's better to be a loner and to pick and choose friends through shared interests, hobbies or beliefs.

As for you? This man is dying to be inside you, whatever breeding kink he had amplified significantly after you fell pregnant, and while part of him was terrified at the idea of being a dad (and annoyed he has to hide his lust for you now), he gets so horny at the idea of you being pregnant he's willing to dick you down 24/7. To be fair, if you both had the stamina and your bodies held the endurance, he def would, but that's besides the point.

Put succinctly, Solivan Brugmansia is an awesome dad, and fully plans on being the absolute best parent (and husband and sex fiend) possible.

Here lies Subaru Oogami (2002-2024)

Cause of death confirmed to be sheer fear of sexual intercourse, ire at a 5yo and, of course, "The Big Question". that big question being "do you want kids"

May he eternally rest in peace.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

KIDDING!!! However, all jokes aside, Geo would rather be shot dead than be near a kid, and unlike the almightily horny emo 'freak' we know as Sol, Geo is repulsed by the idea of sex. AND children, so biologically the chances of him even considering it are near 0. Getting him to like you was labour enough, going into even more after 9 months is a crazy ask let's be real, and there's no way Geo will not be questioning why he's even here (look he's adopted if his dad left him he's gonna be shitting himself but at least he somewhat understands y'know).

The one way Geo can have a 'kid' with you is probably gonna be the same way Hyugo's family had him - adoption, and preferably not a newborn baby who shrieks and shits itself. Like a toddler is fine in his eyes (anything is fine but he'll never tell you that).

This child is definitely going to learn Japanese, piano and whatever the fuck else Geo and Hyugo were raised with and deemed somewhat useful.

Geo is a pretty stoic guy, and would remain so as a parent, but unlike with many others, he's much more attentive and considerate of both you and this child (he definitely gets along with this child, especially if it's also quiet and a loner like him).

Is the type of guy who gets severely attached but hates showing it, probably expresses affection through cutting fruits, cooking or doing something musically. Probably gives the child private concerts.

Would be extremely protective over the child, defends them at all costs, will use bodyguards - realize he doesn't trust them enough - and have the child holding his hand or in eyesight all the time. Hates feeling like he's not knowing what they're up to, if they're safe etc.

In terms of you, this man holds you in much higher regard. The fact you accepted his visceral hatred of sex, of everything, his fears and insecurities and stayed with him? Love him? AND decide to give another child a chance at life, like how the Sugimotos did for him? His heart is swelling his heart is ready his soul is in Heaven and his body is flushed at the thought that in a way, he does have a family with you. And, he doesn't hate it.

Banger parental figure and mentor, would be the type to drop bombshell level life lessons out of nowhere. ALSO IF THE KID IS INTERESTED HE DOES LITTLE COSMETIC THINGS WITH THEM. Mans would def play dress up to make the child satisfied.

"Mother, did you realize that Japan named an entire car franchise after dad?!" (Geo refuses to shatter this child's hope and faith in him lmfao).

Hyugo is a man of many words and a harsh past. He's seen a lot, done more, killed too many. In short, he's seen a lot of shit, so when he finds out you're pregnant after one of your more passionate escapades, he's stunned. Legitimately thinks you're kidding for a hot moment, before realizing you're serious.

He stood still when you told him, face eerily empty of emotion or feeling, before he stood up and lunged at you, pulling you into one of the most intense kisses he's ever placed on you. honestly considers doing it all over again to be certain but you don't need to know that

Mans is genuinely so excited he wants to burst. This child is learning Japanese and when old enough - self defense, jujitsu, kendo, whatever Hyugo thinks is efficient to learn (and also what he finds fun lmao); anything that can help the kid protect themselves and others. Speaking of protecting others, Hyugo's love of justice definitely is passed on. The kid and him watch true crime shoes (Rotten Mango and MrBallen are banger channels btw highly recommend).

Hyugo would 110% play video games with his child, the two would get highly competitive at times (Hyugo often lets the kid win, unless he's feeling particularly unforgiving), or stealing candy from the pantry and sharing it. May or may not take his kid to a gun club to learn how to shoot.

Wants the kid to stay away from the world of crime and murder by all means necessary, he can't afford letting that part of his life spread to his family - hence why he never speaks about why he tends to go missing for a while sometimes.

He'll even actively try to leave, and if he somehow temporarily escapes, he's taking you all somewhere far away, where no-one can ever find you.

He's wiling to kill, die and even live for you two, and that for Hyugo is everything.

Crowe is definitely on edge when the reality of his situation sets in. He's gonna be...a parent. He's the father of your child, you're the mother of his; the thoughts are swirling and twirling in his head as he's spiraling into a loop of sheer excitement and anxiety.

He's wealthy, he knows that he can provide well for you and the child, but all the logic and reason in the world can't calm his heart down. This is something he's secretly wanted for so long, but...the fact it's actually happening just hits different for him.

During the course of your pregnancy, this man may or may not get hot and bothered at the thought that you're so round and pregnant because of him. The fact you wanted this with him. Part of him is definitely struggling to remain composed. Definitely has anxiety about whether he'll be a good parent. Just to clarify, he is an incredibly good dad.

Crowe is someone I see being the dad who reads things to his kid, before bedtime or just in general. He's the type to serve as a role model asap. Will turn this child into the most well-spoken, respectful, kind little person the world has ever seen.

Is someone who helps with his kids homework, calmly explaining and re-explaining things and concepts to it. Tutoring always gave him a sense of calm peace, and it helps him bond with his kid, along with showing them early on that despite how sucky school is, you can still have some fun with learning.

Would do his kids' hair. Would go shopping with them and let them sit in the trolley (with some negotiation done by the child). He also like to share life lessons on these 'adventures', dropping quotes and morals so hard that the night said child was conceived looks light and dandy.

Would teach his kid how to cook, clean, do every chore possible, will find a way to make it fun( he def needed motivation as a kid lmfao). Also encourages his kid to go for walks outside, sometimes he even takes you all out stargazing. He'll teach you and your child every constellation and every star.

Crowe is definitely the type to memorise every appointment, friend, school, teacher etc. your kid has. The child and you matter so much to him, he's willing to ingrain everything to memory - the fact other men don't greatly concerns him - because you both are so worth it.

Would not mind if you asked him for another one, he loves the idea of building a family with you - and, well, seeing you pregnant - so expect that you both'll stop at...3?

TLDR: Crowe is a magnificent parental figure. Also teaches his kid how to be sarcastic.

Deryl is SO excited to be a dad, like beyond the normal levels a decent person would have. This guy is over the moon in terms of excitement, he becomes a jittery mix of terror and joy in the span of that day.

He becomes significantly more affectionate with you (so regular Deryl *12), insists on doing all the heavy work for you, is willing to fulfill all and any cravings you have during pregnancy; and even when the child is born, this man is hyperexcited.

He's a very loving and protective dad, willing to do whatever it is they wanna try or do (as long as it's not dangerous), especially if it involves sport. This man is willing to do all kinds of things in order to entertain his kid (and you).

Would definitely piggyback carry them everywhere while sharing random stories or fun facts he knows. Building off of facts, this man is pretty and smart, so he's gonna be a source of knowledge for your kid as well. He's an awesome role model as well, he's loving, sweet and he ensures his kid grows up respectful and loving life!

Deryl's a social butterfly, so he'd somewhat prefer if his kid was social as well, with good reason of course. He'd encourage your kid to know its worth and pick friends wisely. Would be an undying source of support if the child is sad or upset, whatever it is, he's gonna sit them down to watch a show and eat ice cream (totally doesn't get slightly more than acceptable for the both of them no he'd never).

Singing battles. Karaoke. Music, dance, performance. Deryl is so introducing his kid to music, every genre and every song you both like, will be princess twirling and everything.

He's become a source of prime amusement for the kid, not that anyone's complaining. He's also a prime partner and father.

The man will do his absolute best for you and this kid, and you're never gonna question or contemplate it for as long as you're with him (forever <3).

[eyneyke]

Trouble in paradise pt2

Pairing: Max Verstappen x PewDiePie!sibling Summary: What if Felix had a genius brother who works as a RedBull's engineer and is also secretly dating Max part 21 of A Calm to my Storm Masterlist

Twitter Thread: "The Chaos at Red Bull Before the Race, and Sam Kjellberg Keeping Everyone Calm 🚨"

1. Video: Sam Calmly Explaining to the Mechanics Again

The video starts with Sam standing next to Max’s car, explaining something for the third time to the same group of mechanics. They’re all still a bit tense, some even pacing back and forth, but Sam just keeps calmly talking them through it, pointing to different parts of the car.

Sam: "I know it’s untested, but we’ve run the numbers. It should work. I double-checked everything. This adjustment is solid. Trust me."

One of the mechanics finally nods, visibly less stressed: "Okay. Okay, if you say so, Sam."

Another mechanic adds: "Yeah, I trust him. If Sam says it’s gonna work, it’s gonna work."

Sam flashes a small smile: "Exactly. Just breathe. We’ll be fine."

Comments:

User 303: "Sam having to explain it 3 TIMES but still calm as ever. King of patience."

User 304: "The way the mechanics trust him even when Christian is having a meltdown in the background😂"

User 305: "It’s actually hilarious how Sam’s so chill while everyone around him is losing it."

User 306: "This is what a true professional looks like. Knows his stuff inside and out."

User 307: "Red Bull mechanics should just carry around Sam-shaped stress balls at this point"

2. Clip: Christian and Toto Talking Before the Race

This clip shows Christian Horner and Toto Wolff having a conversation in the paddock right before the race. Christian looks visibly tense while Toto’s expression is more curious than anything. You can hear snippets of their conversation as a journalist films from the side.

Toto: "I heard you’re having some issues with Max’s car. Something about a part not arriving from the factory?"

Christian nods, running a hand through his hair: "Yeah, we had an issue. The part we need didn’t make it here in time. One of our engineers came up with an alternative solution, but it’s untested, so…"

Toto, raising an eyebrow: "Untested? I wouldn’t take that big of a risk, Christian. Not speaking as a competitor, just as a... a colleague."

Christian sighs, looking even more stressed: "Believe me, I know. But I trust the guy. If anyone could do it, it's him, but yeah, I’m terrified."

Toto smirks: "Well, good luck then. Hope the gamble pays off."

Comments:

User 308: "Toto literally being like ‘I wouldn’t risk it like that, but good luck I guess’ 😂"

User 309: "This whole situation is wild. Christian putting his trust in Sam like that (and we all know it's Sam), so you KNOW Sam is good."

User 310: "Toto low-key hoping it all goes wrong for Red Bull but Christian’s like ‘no, Sam’s got this."

User 311: "The trust Christian has in Sam is insane but also so telling. They know he’s the best at what he does."

User 312: "Hope the gamble pays off’ Toto, you shady man 😂"

3. Video: Sky Sports Pundits Discussing the Situation

This video shows Sky Sports commentators discussing the tense situation at Red Bull before the race. The camera cuts between the pundits and shots of the garage where Sam is calmly talking to the team.

Pundit #1: "We’ve been hearing all morning about Red Bull’s potential issue with Max’s car. Apparently, there was a problem, and the part they needed didn’t arrive on time."

Pundit #2: "Right, and they’ve got one of their engineers—Sam Kjellberg—who worked on a fix that’s untested. A huge risk going into the race."

Pundit #3: "It’s a massive gamble, but from what we’ve seen of this particular engineer, he’s got a great reputation within Red Bull. I mean, he did intern and then work under and now with the great Adrian Newey. The team seems to trust him, even if Christian looks like he’s about to pass out from stress."

The camera cuts back to the Red Bull garage where Sam is still calmly explaining things while Christian hovers anxiously in the background.

Pundit #1: "It’s clear Sam Kjellberg has a calming influence on the team, but whether that will translate to the track is something we’ll have to wait and see."

Comments:

User 313: "The commentators really hyping up Sam like he’s the final boss of engineering 😂"

User 314: "I love how the whole of Sky Sports is like ‘Christian’s freaking out but Sam’s chill, so we’re probably good."

User 315: "They know Sam’s the real MVP. Christian might be losing it, but Sam’s got this."

User 316: "Even the commentators trust Sam more than anyone else in the garage. Iconic."

User 317: "Sam Kjellberg making headlines before the race even starts. We love to see it."

User 318: “I love how even the other mechanics are like, 'Yeah our boss is freaking out but Newey's wonder kid here is not so we're okay'.”

4. Picture: Sam Pointing at Max's Car While Christian Watches Nervously

A still shot captures the moment when Sam is explaining something technical to a group of Red Bull engineers, pointing at a specific part of Max's car. Christian stands a few feet away, arms crossed, watching the scene with a nervous expression.

Comments:

User 319: "Christian standing there like an anxious parent watching their kid on stage, while Sam’s doing his thing like a pro."

User 320: "Sam pointing like ‘this is where the magic happens’ and Christian looking like he needs a drink."

User 321: "When Sam points at the car, everyone listens. That’s the kind of authority he has."

User 322: "Christian just hoping Sam doesn’t let him down. The trust is real but the stress is too 😂"

User 323: "Sam is basically holding Christian’s mental state together right now."

5. Clip: Max Brushing Off Christian’s Concerns

This clip shows Max walking past Christian and Sam as Christian tries to get Max to stop and hear about the changes Sam made to the car.

Christian: "Max, wait! I, I know you have meeting with Connor but Sam made some adjustments. You should really hear this before you get in the car."

Max, without even slowing down: "I trust Sam to know what he’s doing! He'll explain it to me later."

Christian just stands there, momentarily speechless as Sam chuckles and goes back to explaining to the mechanics.

Comments:

User 324: "Max really just waved off Christian like ‘nah, Sam’s got this, I’m out’ 😂"

User 325: "Max fully trusting Sam with his car without a care in this world."

User 326: "Christian desperately trying to get Max to care but Max is like ‘Sam knows more than I do.’"

User 327: "Max: I trust Sam. Christian: But wait—Max: No, Sam’s got this, bye."

User 328: "I love how Max just leaves and Christian has no idea what to do with that 😂"

6. Meme: Christian Horner vs. Sam Kjellberg Before the Race

Someone posted a meme with a picture from the garage. On one side is a picture of Christian looking incredibly stressed with his hands in his hair, and on the other is Sam, calm and collected, one hand in his pocket while the other is pointing at something on the car.

Caption of the meme: "Sam Kjellberg - Fixing cars, breaking hearts and holding Christian's nerves on edge."

Comments:

User 329: "This is the meme of the year. Sam literally never gets rattled."

User 330: "Sam out here chillin’ while Christian’s about to have a heart attack."

User 331: "This sums up the whole dynamic perfectly 😂"

User 332: "Christian looks like he’s carrying the world on his shoulders and Sam’s like ‘I got this.’"

--- Sam’s calm confidence in the face of uncertainty won over not just his team but also fans, who are loving every second of the behind-the-scenes chaos.

[llondonfog]

I haven't put much thought into it and Maybe TW angst

but you do think Lilia will feel any guilt setting Silver up to have a life that parallels his bio dads? In essence forced to be a knight for the rest of his live and forced to live for other people? Forcing his son to live as a side character in someone else's story? Idk.. Lilia loves Silver but this feels like a subcousious revenge.

RUBS MY NASTY LITTLE HANDS TOGETHER EVILLY BECAUSE I THINK ABOUT THIS EVERY SINGLE DAY

On the side of my angst-loving heart, I genuinely go insane every time I think about the fact that Lilia took a true baby prince and turned him into an obedient little soldier.

HOWEVER; I do genuinely believe that in the context of the canon story, Lilia set up Silver's life to be Malleus' knight as a way to assure the boy's future. I can't remember if it's canon that Lilia is aware of his decreasing magic before he finds Silver, but I like to think that he knew how limited his reserves would be from the moment he split them to hatch Malleus. So with that mindset, I think he equally knew that he wouldn't be around for the majority of Silver's lifespan, only long enough to potentially raise him to be an adult. So how could he set the boy up for success, what is the highest honor he could think of for Silver to achieve, based on Lilia's own background? Who could assuredly protect the human he's come to love as his own son when he's gone? Who else, but Malleus?

Lilia knows that Silver has no living relative, and if he were to go looking for them after Lilia returns his ring, he wouldn't find a trace of their existence. The only family he's ever known exists in Briar Valley, regardless of the irony of that fact. It has become his home, and perhaps selfishly, Lilia would want to leave the future of the very country he sacrificed his own blood to defend in the hands of the two individuals best suited to preserve its harmony— the royal heir to the Briar Valley throne, and the son of the man who nearly destroyed their kingdom. I think he would believe that Silver, calm, collected, and always looking for the good in others, would serve as Malleus' better angel, and keep his temper at bay.

And perhaps, it is revenge, but not the kind that we're thinking of. Perhaps it is revenge against the memory of Henrik and against the Senate— Lilia, going to his grave still in their eyes the disgraced and lowly bat fae general, getting the last laugh in the end when the ruling force of Briar Valley is two-fold; the powerful, foreboding prince, and the knight who keeps that burning, dragon heart as human as it could possibly be.

[opiopal]

I like to imagine levi in a friendship way a lot, but occasionally I dabble in a wee bit of romance💅

cause like

I think doing a couple cosplay would be AMAZING. cause imagine the two getting ready for months, designing and making their costumes and props, and going out and having a blast at a con!! I could also see mc snagging some after-con pictures of the two in their costumes but wigs off, or their makeup’s all slugged and runny from sweating.

also, I personally don’t like playing games WITH ppl most of the time, mainly bc I unfortunately multi task and get side tracked a lot and enjoy the freedom to just pause and walk away for a sec. So as a result I like imagining mc sitting and watching levi play, like at first he’s a little embarrassed and shaky, he doesn’t want to look bad in front of mc so he’s just nervous!!! but over time he gets sucked into the game and relaxes, occasionally his face goes red when he hears mc quietly congratulate him or cheer him on. But he does pretty good after a while!!! … however that changes once mc lays their head against his shoulder and starts getting a little snuggly. the physically affection nearly makes his heart beat out of his chest!!! So much so that eventually he has to pause the game to calm down- but of course mc turns to look up at him with concern and question if he’s ok and- ACK!! He just can’t handle how sweet they are!!! What did he ever do to deserve someone so kind and adorable!! He feels like the main character of some cheesy romance manga every. Single. Time. Mc tries to be anywhere near romantic with him. Though I do feel as if he’d get more used to it as time goes on of course, but that first moment of “HOLY CRAP THEIR TOUCHING MY HAND” doesn’t go away fully lol, cause he’s a dork<3

also bc I personally headcanon him to be both super tall and a bit chunkier, snuggling would go CRAZZYYYY, cause I know this man would wrap his whole body around mc, pulling them into his chest like some sort of pillow and tangling legs together, like there’s no way you wouldn’t feel small in his arms no matter how tall you actually are.(though this is once he gets over the heart attack of them sleeping in the same bed off), and for a while he’s a bit embarrassed, so he hides his face in the crook of their neck, which eventually turns into his favorite place to put his head when snuggling.

also he’d go absolutely inSANE if mc played with his hair while they snuggled, like his demon form would definitely pop out for a while until he relaxes again.

[cenpede]

“My heart returns to you like spring / Awakening with April rain”

(Faulkner, 1-2)

[allthatdivides]

pressed flowers in the so much (for) stardust CD case | mine, 2023

[snazum]

Little ster edit I made… Cause there needs to be more in the world :>

special thanks to like the 5-10 people on this website who upload ster clips. This is dedicated to y’all <3

Audio: noir.audioss on tiktok

Song: Like Me - Chase Icon

[gunstellations]

when your bf is a human radiator and the night is cold but he has the audacity to tell you to move because he has to sleep

[zoennes]

2.03 ♡ 2.04

[zaddyazula]

trying to process this fucking masterpiece

[oddogoblino]

Probably gonna be a controversial post buuuttttt

Everytime I see some proshipper encouraging kids to be pro with them, something I've noticed is that they always try and twist what being an anti is to scare them & seem like they're protecting them. They're intentionally trying to make antis out to be like some religious old dad who wants nothing even remotely sexual to be shown & will always be angry, but that's really not true.

If you think that others not being allowed to be disgusting about kids (fictional or not, they're still kids and they know it. Its the whole fucking reason they're into them specifically- how is that not fucked up and cause for concern) and other shit like that that ruins a fandom as "being a prude" then I hope you get a reality check and stay away from minors!

The whole thing of being an anti is just...don't be fucking awful and disgusting towards kids and such like that. That's it. That's the big fucking whoop. Whoa, what a concept. Truly, impossible to please.

It's not the antis harassing people for just "not shipping smth right", those are just assholes who want to feel superior to others. Theyre just assholes, nothing else. That's not being an anti. If it's not over a legit issue, then that's being a dick who thinks their headcanons are gospel. Antis are against the actual bad shit that needs to stop bc it fucks up fandom experiences & gives safe spaces for predators.

You can be perverted all you want, ship things however you want, just don't be a creep and promote gross shit. You can portray this bad stuff, but actually PORTRAY it! Stop romanticizing and fet!shizing it! That's literally all antis want. How hard is that to understand? How hard is that to please?

[coolspacequips]

My unpopular opinion abt the new Castlevania series ig is that I just don't have any care or sympathy for these little church goons that they were trying to humanize this time around... Like Olrox revenge kill go off, I watch u kill that boys mom minute 1 but I'm still in ur corner bbygirl! I see ur thru line.

But then his little shitty church bf sanctioning and standing by all the actions of the church and also we don't talk about the homophobia he's supporting while also being gay and also sleeping w a man his church would have (and did) sanctioned the genocide of several times over... I'm supposed to think the way he shut Olrox down was anything worth feeling bad for, I just rolled my eyes at his self righteousness. Walk away from that man, Olrox!! We saw where this manic Christian love leads, and it's what ur Abbott did (who I also don't give 1 fuck about him or his white xtian guilt especially after That LOL)

I guess I can tentatively respect that the church guard's storyline is gonna potentially be about deprogramming him, but I hate that they seemed to be posing him as correct in accusing Olrox of having no soul, when we as the viewer know it was an act of love that he didn't think he was capable anymore, after what was done to him at the hands of ppl that the church guard. To me all i felt was the heartache from his POV so common in these communities where u thought you have a Good Christian that saw you, but he still sees you as the monolith of his imaginary enemy the second push comes to shove, even though your actions have shown again and again that there's nuance to be had

[hoperays-song]

Johnny’s Hairstyles

So, in my human au, Johnny has natural 3b hair type! So it would look something like this:

(What I was able to make in picrew as the curliest hair in this style for reference)

But, in humid climates, 3b hair can get frizzy with humidity. So while Johnny keeps his hair natural a majority of the time, he will braid and style it if the show is traveling to a more humid area!

[t1erradelfuego]

please do not read the tags i am being insane at 10pm on a sunday night

[foldingfittedsheets]

Every sales job I’ve worked has that one item. The white whale. The biggest ticket you can sell. The sale you brag about when you’re chatting with other industry people.

When I sold mattresses it was a split king adjustable base. That’s two twin extra long mattresses next to each other to make a king, but each side can move independently. They’re insanely expensive and honestly kind’ve impractical but it was the biggest ticket thing to sell.

When I sold sex toys though our white whale was the 20lb ass. It was a female pelvis, a cut out from the waist to the tops of the thighs. It was hyper realistic material and cost about $500. I definitely had bigger tickets but not in one item typically.

In my time at the sex shop, I sold three. Each time was completely different in terms of how the guy acted about buying it. The first man was a little embarrassed and shy about it. I was professional and supportive as I rang it up. Once I handed him the receipt he looked at the box. Then he looked at me.

If you’ve ever wondered how big a box has to be to fit a 20lb ass let me just tell you: it’s pretty damn big. It’s an uncomfortably large armful of box and every side has a picture of the sex toy inside on it. It’s not subtle.

“Could I get a bag….?”

There was no bag that existed that could possibly contain all that ass. “Hang on,” I told him.

I got scissors and tape and covered the box in cut up black bags. Looking relieved he picked up his purchase and left.

The next man to buy one carried it proudly to the counter; self assured and not embarrassed in the least. When I said I didn’t have a bag, but I could wrap it for him he gave a hearty shrug and hefted it into his arms, marching out the door with the butt on full display.

The last man to get one was just kind’ve an odd guy. Not creepy, but eccentric. We got along great, and as I rang him up I said, “Well one guy wanted his taped over, and one guy carried it out. What would you prefer?”

“There’s no bags?”

“No store bags. I think our jumbo trash bags in the back might fit it….?” It seemed rude to suggest putting a $500 item into a trash bag, but he wasn’t bothered.

He considered this then said, “Bring me the trash bag.”

When I delivered it to him he still managed to surprise me. Instead of shoving the huge box into it he opened the box. He took out his new $500 sex toy, and all the little things it came with, tipping them unceremoniously into the trash bag.

“There! Now I don’t have to deal with the box later!”

I was slightly stunned but agreed that I could easily deal with the trash. Then in a move I still think about with delight he flung the trash bag over his shoulder like a Santa with a sack full of ass and sauntered out the door.

If this or my other escapades made you laugh you could pop a tip into my Ko-fi! For more like this check my tag "ffs foibles".