#sex shop

[foldingfittedsheets]

Every sales job I’ve worked has that one item. The white whale. The biggest ticket you can sell. The sale you brag about when you’re chatting with other industry people.

When I sold mattresses it was a split king adjustable base. That’s two twin extra long mattresses next to each other to make a king, but each side can move independently. They’re insanely expensive and honestly kind’ve impractical but it was the biggest ticket thing to sell.

When I sold sex toys though our white whale was the 20lb ass. It was a female pelvis, a cut out from the waist to the tops of the thighs. It was hyper realistic material and cost about $500. I definitely had bigger tickets but not in one item typically.

In my time at the sex shop, I sold three. Each time was completely different in terms of how the guy acted about buying it. The first man was a little embarrassed and shy about it. I was professional and supportive as I rang it up. Once I handed him the receipt he looked at the box. Then he looked at me.

If you’ve ever wondered how big a box has to be to fit a 20lb ass let me just tell you: it’s pretty damn big. It’s an uncomfortably large armful of box and every side has a picture of the sex toy inside on it. It’s not subtle.

“Could I get a bag….?”

There was no bag that existed that could possibly contain all that ass. “Hang on,” I told him.

I got scissors and tape and covered the box in cut up black bags. Looking relieved he picked up his purchase and left.

The next man to buy one carried it proudly to the counter; self assured and not embarrassed in the least. When I said I didn’t have a bag, but I could wrap it for him he gave a hearty shrug and hefted it into his arms, marching out the door with the butt on full display.

The last man to get one was just kind’ve an odd guy. Not creepy, but eccentric. We got along great, and as I rang him up I said, “Well one guy wanted his taped over, and one guy carried it out. What would you prefer?”

“There’s no bags?”

“No store bags. I think our jumbo trash bags in the back might fit it….?” It seemed rude to suggest putting a $500 item into a trash bag, but he wasn’t bothered.

He considered this then said, “Bring me the trash bag.”

When I delivered it to him he still managed to surprise me. Instead of shoving the huge box into it he opened the box. He took out his new $500 sex toy, and all the little things it came with, tipping them unceremoniously into the trash bag.

“There! Now I don’t have to deal with the box later!”

I was slightly stunned but agreed that I could easily deal with the trash. Then in a move I still think about with delight he flung the trash bag over his shoulder like a Santa with a sack full of ass and sauntered out the door.

If this or my other escapades made you laugh you could pop a tip into my Ko-fi! For more like this check my tag "ffs foibles".

[loovelymoon]

I need a romantic date in a sex shop🥺

[neelyowhora]

[thelifeofagaygirl]

Dear tumblr queer community,

Where do you get your straps that squirt and aren’t flesh toned. 👀😅

[secondlifep]

[viejospellejos]

Intentó robar en un sex shop y pasó esto

[thespliffbunker]

Steven A Brown

[foldingfittedsheets]

One time I was ringing up this sweet older gentleman at the sex shop. I no longer remember what he was buying, just that he was in his fifties and radiated a bumbling gentleness that I had enjoyed.

He was chatting with me as he pulled out cash to pay, “You know, I always thought it would be so much easier to meet ladies. But then you meet a girl and you start chatting and they’re never as impressed that I know Captain Kirk’s middle name as I expected them to be.”

I took his payment with a grin and said, “I dunno, Tiberius is an amazing middle name, it was their loss.”

He looked at me with utter awe, radiating a disbelieving joy that I’d parried his quip so effortlessly with Trekkie lore. “If I were thirty years younger…” he’d said, absolutely delighted.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him I was gay to boot, so I just beamed and wished him a good day. He went out the door with a spring in his step and I still smile to think about it.

[bestoftweets]

[cosmonautroger]

[shy-girl04]

[operatorinvestigator]

I am certain that you and I are crashing course, driven by a holy force ❤️

[polishwave]

Szybki interes.

[kittesencula]

[fleshandfiction]

Damien's Dungeon: Room #5

The atmosphere here in Damien’s Dungeon is one that has the aura of Hell. The lighting is red bulbs and the smell of leather dominates the sense of smell when you enter the establishment. And not to mention the eerie glow of the ever burning candles that adorn the walls beside the red velvet curtain leading to the backrooms. And standing behind the counter and seldom moves is the store’s shopkeeper whose name no one has ever come to know.

The display cases for both male and female sex toys always have enticing items within them. The DVD/BluRay section also always has customers perusing through the endless niches of content that this shop houses. But, for those that are a little more adventurous and with something more carnal on their mind, then the backrooms cannot help but call to them.

For it is only those with instant lust and gratification that can only hear the alluring and intoxicating smell of sex emanating behind the red curtain. No matter what your sexual preference is there is ALWAYS somethings waiting for those that dare to indulge in the backrooms…

Thomas. A foundry worker in his early thirties has made a few laps around the dungeon and has found nothing to satisfy his lustful hunger. Nothing would be better than just finding something to help with a much needed release. As he turns his attention away from a DVD starring the queens of Taboo roleplay he is startled and intimidated by the shopkeeper. “FUCK!” he exclaims out loud as he is forced to look up to the towering figure of the shopkeeper who is standing only mere inches from Thomas. “What’s your fucking deal dude!?” Although the shopkeeper is more than a foot taller than he, that does not stop or weaken him.

With a calm but strange ethereal voice the shopkeeper says, “We may have what your are looking for behind the curtain. Something… a little more to your satisfaction…” as he makes a motion with his aged hand toward the backrooms.

“What the fuck are you talking about!?” Why don’t you just go back behind the counter and sit like the creeper you are and…”

He is cut off by the shopkeeper who interjects, “Would you fancy one of our reverse gloryholes friend?” His eyes narrow and seem to pierce into Thomas, “all the fucking you can handle. And the best part… all you see is her open legs and lady parts. She can be whomever you wish her to be. Maybe even that hot married coworker that you fancy…”

A chill ran down Thomas’ spine as these words left the shopkeeper’s lips, That was fucking creepy! It’s like that motherfucker knows!!

And from within Thomas’ mind he heard the same voice of the shopkeep… That is because I do know…

“So, how much to indulge?” Thomas asks with his interest piqued, although still feeling the chill of the shopkeeper’s words.

“No charge friend. Just go behind that red curtain and enter in the farthest room to your left. She is already there waiting for your hard cock.”

As the shop’s red and hellish ambience fades as Thomas releases the curtain behind him, nothing but red flames adorn the black walls between the red doors in this hallway to sexual bliss. As he enters the 5th door on the left, all that he sees is a pair of female legs wide open with torn open work pants where it matters most; propped at the perfect height. Thomas closes the red door behind him as his cock grows and becomes ready as he envisions that this female is his coworker that he fantasizes about at this point, daily.

It would be twenty-five minutes of an intense session and effort that Thomas would utilize this evening. Nothing but moans of pleasure from whoever was actually propped up and made ready for his personal use, and the finale of his internal cumshot erupting into her cervix were never heard outside of this room. But, this would become an addiction and an unknown contract with a succubus that he would make time and time again for in room number 5.

It would only take a little over a month of Thomas’ indulges to seal his fate. His body would be discovered at home in his bed like all the others before him. Frequents to the store and who do not have carnal and instant urges to visit the backrooms will ever know about the infernal deal with the demon Lord of Lust, Bael. Also his legion of incubi and succubi that are housed within Damien’s Dungeon.