#public indecency to the extreme probably

[urghblergh]

Star Trek TOS Screenshot Redraw VI, but make it gay(er). 🌌

[queenofallimagines]

Blue Lock boys and having a S/O who has a sex toy collection

A/N: This is extremely self indulgent and came to me while browsing the internet. Part one of 2 and These are also all real toys so if you know exactly what I’m talking about lmao kudos to you✌🏿

Isagi:

- lmao oh boy

- Brand new to this world

- Only has the blue flesh light you got him as a joke for Christmas

- He uses it more often than he’d like to admit…

- So when he comes to your place and he’s in the mood to get nasty

- You gotta hold his hand bc he’s gunna be a little nervous

- You ask him if he’s cool with toys and he’s like ofc

- Very excited to see what you use to make yourself feel good

- Then he is taken aback to see a box of sex toys ORGANIZED BY COLOR

- “We in for a more rough mood today or like a quick thing?”

- “YOU USE THEM FOR DIFFERENT SCENES??”

- Let him take a look through your treasure chest(pun intended)

- And he’s like 🙂 bc how does he use that

- “So whats this?? It’s like flat but it has silicone flowers on the top??”

- “Oh that’s a grinder you strap it to a pillow”

- “��.and it’s supposed to be green and blue?”

- “The colors on this one were pretty 😤 aesthetic matters too!”

- Best way is to just dive in and let him test out each one

- His favorite so far is this pretty little one called CLAUDETTE and he likes grinding on it while he kisses you and fucking into it

- Likes how the colors look all funky and fun

- “Is that-“

- “A football colored one yes it is.”

- “…..you didn’t have this before you met me did you?”

- “Listen it’s not MY fault that you be away on games a lot and this just so happened to be in your girth!”

- He will indulge you and do those dick mold cast things and will demand to see videos of you fucking yourself with it when he’s away

- Nothing would make him rush home faster than seeing a video of you moaning all pretty in nothing but a spare jersey of his bounding up and down on an exact replica of his cock begging him to hurry home

- Fuck the game he’s on the first fight back to Japan IMMEDIATELY

- LOVES to use them in punishments!

- When you’re acting all bratty he’ll pretend he’s not on his very last nerve

- Not super good at controlling his true emotions but when he’s calling you pet names making you feel all flustered can you really tell he’s upset?

- So when he flips a switch and tells you to “hold fucking still or I’ll tie your hands to the headboard” and he’s in between your legs holding you down it’s definitely a surprise

- Has one of the vibes that are controlled by phone

- He’s not so cruel as take you for a stroll in public

- (Also he really doesn’t want to get slammed with a public indecency charge because you can’t keep quiet)

- He’ll make you wear it as he goes about his business in the house

- Ignoring you without a care in the world as he’s relaxing on the couch and you’re begging him to bend you over anything

- “Hm? I didn’t hear a ‘I’m sorry for being a brat Yoichi’ so all that crying ain’t doing nothing”

- He has really good control when he’s pissed

- Usually that glassy eyed look while begging him to ruin you would be enough to have him on you like a dog in heat

- Buuuuuy unfortunate for you upset yoichi is some cold

- He’s literally not even flinching as you grind in his thigh making a mess all over his pants

- Rolling his eyes before shooting you the most annoyed look

- “You gunna keep making a mess on my pants or you going to fucking apologize already?”

- “I-I’m sorry Yoichi… please I need you so bad.”

- “Fucking finally.”

- Throws your legs over his shoulders but he’s still mad so he’s gunna edge and then overstimulate you before he even pulls his cock out

Nagi:

- oh he’s so silly

- Like he’s definitely like??

- Probably accidentally finds your stash before YOU show him

- “Oi, what’s this thing over here?”

- And you walk in and he’s messing w a silicone octopus cockring

- Boy if you don’t stay out my mf closet-

- Wants you to show him all the cool weird stuff you have

- “How do you even use this?”

- “Like any other toy???”

- “This tentacle is NOT like a regular sex toy.”

- Does it again by laying down on some of your stuffies and sees one w a obvious zipper

- Opens it to see a dildo inside

- “Why is this IN here?”

- “So nosey mfs like YOU don’t just come in my room and find my shit.”

- “…..that’s fair.”

- His fav for you to use on him is this gold and grey silicone stroker that has skin like texture

- When he’s too lazy to move he likes you being on top of him kissing and biting his neck while you slowly move the toy on his cock

- Will have him squirming and moaning loud as hell like you’ve never seen before

- Nagi isn’t the most vocal but he’s moaning like a pornstar

- “Ohhhh fuuuck pretty keep stroking me like that.”

- No better way to get him to fuck you like you want then to slow stroke him with a fleshlight or stroker

- Asks you to make a cast of your pussy

- When you actually make him one it’s like never brought up again until one night you get a text around 2am a few hours before nagi is set to touchdown back in Japan

- Of him fucking it like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do

- Not sure who the fuck recorded that for him🤨 bc it’s too good and so are the angles to be a shaky one handed quick video

- Moans about how he can’t wait to feel you cream on his cock

- As the most obscene noises play from your speakers with the image of seishiro fucking into a fleshlight of your likeness all messy with lube and cum

- From the way the video starts off he had to have been at it for a while already

- You catch a glimpse of his hazy eyes as he’s mercilessly pounding into the toy

- When the video ends you get another text from him

- ‘Just got out the airport be home in 25’

Hiori:

- you’d think he’d be like weirded out

- Or confused

- Nah

- He’s seen all the gamer porn there is to see

- Monster and fantasy themed sex toys are a walk in the park

- “Woah, they like make dragon dicks that you can actually ride?”

- Favorites are Ophiuchus the Forgotten, Spyro Slim, and the twilight Moon

- He likes textures so anything with more ridges and bumps the better!

- Likes ones that seem normal. He’s a sneaky fucker so hidden in plain sight is great

- Like oh you thought this was a regular lipstick? Nope! A bullet vibe

- Has like 6 of these in your purse at all times

- Annoying as will pull a “hey can I talk to ya for a sec?”

- And then lead you into a secluded area and shove a toy in you while having his mouth do the heavy lifting

- “Mmm~ taste better when you’re this scared.”

- Someone get his ass 🙄😒

- Let’s you fuck him but like you’re a service top at most

- Not very try willing to give up power because that means he looses the game

- Will tie you up and ride you

- Puts on his most slutty performance and really lets himself get whiny

- As soon as he unties you it’s a chance to get him

- Like oh so anyway we’re not done🥰 now you can’t touch

- Will send you links to stores asking you what you think

- “Check out this dark souls one”

- “Yo, baby who the FUCK is that going to fit inside”

- “:((( but it glows in the dark”

[reveluving]

red lipstick ; adam driver characters headcanons

summary: because what’s sexier than seeing you in red lipstick? 💄

warnings: fluff, humour, slightly explicit (minors DNI!)

a/n: on an ADCU spree so I figured it’s the best time to write my own, courtesy of @safarigirlsp​ & @in-silks-and-flesh-and-leather​ for continuously feeding my obsession hehe! pls pls pls give their work some extra love!! and don’t forget to leave some sugar! ᐠ( ᐛ )ᐟ

» check out my full m.list!

✧･ﾟ Jacques Le Gris

Le Gris' own presence exudes confidence, ferocity, and allure, and his lady is no different. What better way to show the men who envy him the same way the ladies do with you than by bringing you the best of the best? He will settle for nothing less, especially when it comes to your comfort and the like, and he will know if they're not up to par.

Old-timey Jacques will indirectly criticize the maiden in charge, knowing they probably did so to make you seem 'less appealing' to your very own lover, but many seem to forget that he was extremely smart just as he was your doting husband. Just a quick exile over here, a simple repeat of his demand for the best over there and boom, he's back to being happy ol' Le Gris. Modern Jacques is no different, for he would easily purchase the shades you'd swatch and hum to yourself, knowing if he heard how much you liked it, he'd buy the whole store for you. Do you want them personalised, too? Go right on ahead!

And that's not a threat, it's a promise.

“You should never settle for anything less, ma chérie. I shall not allow it.” He’d chime in as soon as he sees your eyes sparkle at the new case with both wonderment and guilt. If you offer to repay him for his endless gifts, he will ask for your kisses, complete with the new set he’s given you, but ever the lover boy that he is, you know good and well it won’t end with just kisses.

✧･ﾟ Flip Zimmerman

Ever heard of the saying "the fortune favours the bold"? He doesn't need to hear from Stallworth that Flip has in fact 'loosen up' upon being graced by your existence. He does, however, preen in the knowledge that since knowing you, he's become bold. Well, bolder than he already was. Where has uncertainty brought him in life? But as much as he'd like to deny till the end of time, he's nearly done it before.

Keyword: nearly.

The day you met, he wondered if he had died in a shootout and met hell's personal It girl—no angel could pull off the devil's shade with pride the way you do. Had he continued to mask his hesitancy by returning your undeterred gaze, he'd be the biggest fool for letting you go.

He'd clock in work with your lipstick stains if he could. Public indecency be damned! He'd fight everyone and anyone if he hears another person talk about it as a form of embarrassment.

"S'not my fault you don't have a pretty girl to come home to." He'd shrug, though the wolfish smile told the poor bastard everything that he felt. Was he wrong? No. Was he going to fight Flip for publicly embarrassing him with the truth? Absolutely not; your husband would probably knock him out before the guy could even land a hit.

✧･ﾟ Clyde Logan

To think there were more red lipstick shades than he could count with his good hand. In all honesty, he really doesn't have a favourite nor does it matter if it's even red or not. That's not to say he doesn't care because clearly, he does, but only in the sense that it makes you happy. You are the professional in this particular field, after all. But best believe the happiness that heightens in him whenever you'd ask for his opinion.

Still, the colour red does, however, as the current generation says, 'hits different'. Unsubtle glances from his patrons were a normal occurrence but they never got any easier by the day. But, on the other hand? He’s the lucky son of a gun who gets to call you ‘his’.

But the man loves his kisses, and kisses he will get! With your frequent visits to the bar, you'll never let this man work without at least a peck on the cheek. Seeing his signature pout lift to the bashful smile we know and love (the audacity) takes no effort.

“Y’know just how to make a man happy, sugar.” He’d murmured against your lips, his sudden boldness not surprising you but instead, his customers, who were only giving him shit but also openly ogling at you not too long ago.

✧･ﾟ Kylo Ren

Whether you think of our ol’ touch-starved leader, the vampire, the knight, or whatever suits your fancy, Kylo will want nothing more than the top-notch of things for his darling, and your preference for lipstick shouldn’t be any different! He, in a way, is an embodiment of red—his passion for both his belief, his interest, and especially, his devotion to you. So, to see the very same colour he associates closely with, other than black, be embraced as your very own as well? He shouldn’t be surprised that most, if not all of his elation are sourced from you in general.

He’s a busy man, but he will not miss the opportunity to watch you apply your colour of the day with great care. He’s unconsciously smiling, lost in your melodic hum as his vow to keep you out of harm’s way grows stronger. He’s been through hell and back to survive, and he’d have no problem doing the same it’s to ensure you leave the danger zone unscathed. So, if something as simple as red lipstick makes you happy, then don’t be surprised if you see a new one even before your current one runs out.

And although all kisses are good kisses, don’t think he won’t pull you in for a real one once the smooching fest starts. You’re worried about leaving a stain? Don’t be! His men/subordinates don’t have the balls to point them out, knowing by doing so is a game over for them.

✧･ﾟ Charlie Barber

The man eats, sleeps, and breathes art, so it's knowing his beloved has her very own is a major plus! One would think nothing impresses him anymore, or at least, not as much as his own work, but oh, were they dead wrong. There hasn't been a day where the lipstick holder on your vanity table never makes him puff out his chest with pride. From the simple matte ones he'd buy after a random day at work simply because it reminds him of you, to the high-end bold to burgundy ones personalised with your name engraved on the case. C’mon, what harm would it do to him for paying a couple of hundreds for makeup as one of his ways to say thank you to his wife—his muse!

Charlie embraces this as your form of art; the shades, the textures, the right amount of shine or shimmer—just anything that screams you. Artistry performed best by his one and only.

And how could he forget about the polaroids you both have? Yours which has him covered in your lipstick stains and face in absolute bliss? His which were you kissing the area close to his happy trail, leaving the same shade colour to his toned body?

Yes, your husband's in paradise, indeed.

✧･ﾟ Commander Mills

Another hunk who really just finds your confidence in whichever you find is best is more than enough, because what's better than his girl's own joy? Even so, if red really speaks to you, then don't be surprised he takes advantage of it. If the numerous times you've caught him staring at your lips and even shamelessly holding your gaze doesn't tell you anything, then the instance he wraps his arms around you for a little while longer before pressing his lips onto yours definitely should.

And if we're talking about the whole time-travelling shebang and somehow, you had to make your own lipstick? Wowie. This man will scour every nook and cranny for the ingredients if you asked him to. Best believe he will find what you need!

If it means getting the opportunity to see you do your thing in your colour and being able to wipe off the accidental smear just after you've applied it, that man is on a mission.

˚ · . f i n . · ˚

You can tell that I lost my roll towards the end HAHAHA but if you’re wondering what lipstick in particular inspired me to write this, it’s:

ETUDE Fixing Tint in Analog Rose/Vintage Red

Dior Rouge Dior Lipstick in 999

Stunna Lip Paint Longwear Fluid Lip Color in Uncensored

PERIPERA Ink Airy Velvet in Full Red Brick (11)

[liskantope]

Today in Political Facebook Posts I Want To Complain About (really this kind of post should have its own tag): someone posted a meme with rainbows and the words "Wishing all THE HOMOPHOBES a super uncomfortable month".

I'm sort of down with this and my first instinct isn't to be critical (although the comment under it, suggesting we extend this to the whole year and towards not only homophobes but everyone to the right of "us [far on the left]" -- not my paraphrasing: the phrase "anyone right of us" is literally there -- annoys me considerably more), but it also doesn't feel like the kind of sentiment anyone should want to spread around in the service of being one's best self, somehow. This instead appears to reflect the insistence on a "warrior mode" model of the world which I find profoundly unsettling. I don't really want anyone of any social/political persuasion to feel uncomfortable unless it's a kind of discomfort that directly leads to growth. I feel kind of like responding with something like "Wishing all THE HOMOPHOBES a super enlightening month in which their exposure to gay stuff makes them chill out and realize that 'the gays' are actually pretty cool and not so scary after all."

I think also, part of what rubs me the wrong way about statements like that is that it comes across to me below the surface as, in a way, a form of bullying through exploiting the fact that today, throughout most of Western society, LGBT people and allies have the power to get in the faces of anti-LGBT people and not vice versa on a cultural level. Even as recently as 20 years ago, it wouldn't really make sense to wish an uncomfortable month on homophobes because Pride was still something that was pretty marginalized -- there was a vigorous culture around it and plenty of allies, but it wasn't being blasted into everyday awareness through slogans emanating from every major company, from the White House, etc. But in the 2020's, it is. Homophobes in 2004 didn't have to feel uncomfortable because, at least in most places, they could just completely avoid gay stuff mostly by not being around actual Pride events. Now they generally can't avoid it. And, much as I'm cynical about "corporate wokeness" and companies' role in making such a dramatic turnaround over the past decade, I'm glad that things are as they are in the 2020's rather than as they were in the '90's or '00's. But while for good rather than for evil, the pendulum has swung in the direction of giving the gay rights side the power of shoving it in conservatives' faces. And as soon as you step back from the object-level position of "pro- gay rights is the correct stance" and open your range of vision to include the other side's point of view, "I hope homophobes have an uncomfortable month" becomes "We happen to have the establishment very visibly on our side nowadays, so now I hope that that gets rubbed in your face as much as possible."

It reminds me of a (completely unrelated) Facebook friend, extremely on the progressive end of the spectrum but with a ton of conservative extended family, who a few years back got reported for posting a picture of herself breastfeeding her baby. Of course Facebook didn't respond to the report by taking down the picture because Facebook's policy was that breastfeeding doesn't constitute nudity and is okay. My friend never found out which conservative relative reported her picture but decided the most mature way to show her disdain for them was to post a dozen or so more pictures of herself breastfeeding in order to get back at them by making them super uncomfortable, openly stating that this was her purpose. Now, I'm 100% on the side of there being nothing wrong with breastfeeding in public or with images of it being publicly posted, that it shouldn't be considered sexual or indecent, and that attitudes against it probably ultimately stem from a form of misogyny. But I couldn't help interpreting my friend's response in light of "what if the shoe were on the other foot" or "what if the established rules (on Facebook) were the other way around", so that her behavior looked an awful lot like "Well we have a disagreement and Mom/Dad/Teacher the established authority (Facebook) happens to have taken my side of it, so now I just get to rub that in your face, nyah nyah nyah."

Yes, I know what the obvious response to my views is: how can I criticize an attitude of wanting to maximize enjoyment that a large part of culture is on the pro-LGBT side, let alone call it something like "bullying", when LGBT people have still overall had a pretty raw deal (and the T part of the acronym is still struggling badly to win the culture war, although I'd argue that's a bit of a digression from this post's question). And that something similar (though I have a vaguer idea of what it would be) could be said regarding the breast feeding in public issue. There is a point there, which is part of why a good bit of my gut goes "yeah, let the homophobes feel uncomfortable now; after all, they spent a good part of living memory making gay people feel uncomfortable, completely wrongly." But that still comes across to me as embracing a naive sort of "punching up vs. down" model of moral argument, and either way, it certainly doesn't seem like the path toward changing hearts and minds.

[no-stupid-questions-official]

this is a weird one but bare with me — also, this is purely hypothetical, i have no intentions of doing what i’m about to describe, it’s just something i’ve been curious about.

so. like most people, i live in a place where it’s illegal for women to go topless or expose their breasts, while it’s completely legal for men to do so.

now, i’m a trans man, and i’m on testosterone. i pass well as a man, especially because i’m extremely hairy and have facial hair. however, i haven’t changed my legal name or sex, so legally, i’m considered female. additionally, i haven’t had top surgery, so i still have breasts.

i am chubby, but not quite fat enough where my boobs could reasonably be considered “manboobs” — the way my fat is distributed, i’m pretty sure if you saw just my torso and no other part of my body, you’d probably be able to assume they’re on a “female” body — if that makes sense.

what i’m wondering, is how likely would it be for me to get in trouble for indecent exposure if i went outside topless? would people simply look at my face and just assume i’m a cis man with a weird, possibly misshapen body? or is it also possible, if questioned, that i could tell people i’m a trans man and get away with it, even if my legal sex is currently female?

i hope this makes sense… and again, i don’t plan on doing this anytime soon, i’ve got way too much dysphoria to go topless in public XD but i’ve always wondered where the law would lie! since i know they definitely weren’t written with trans people in mind.

if any other trans men (or other people who were born with large breasts who pass as male) have experience with this or have tried to go topless in public before, i would love to hear what it was like or what happened!

-

[beardedmrbean]

I love how leftists keep calling jan 6 an insurrection but they're the ones who can't keep occupying stuff and seceding from the United States every four years lmao

Remember when they occupied the Capital rotunda because they belie rape accusations so long as it's against someone they don't like.

I fixed that one banner for them.

Here's a ceasefire sit in,

It's from October 18th, mind you Israel didn't start any large scale ground operations until the 27th, all I ever read into the fact that they did this kind of thing is that they approve of what hamass did and don't think there should be any repercussions.

RvW

Not sure about the legality of these particular protests, I do know that the ones on the college campus cease to be protected by 1A the moment they're told to disburse, also when they block access to buildings or walkways, probably some public indecency charges that could be depending on how they have their poop buckets set up.

Always seems to be completely different when they do it.

On a similar note, I'm wondering how all of these new 1A advocates would react if the klan decided to hold a rally and went and got their permit and everything to make sure it was done within the the extremely broad confines of 1A.

[gaytruckerthoughts]

wow so today, Aug 26 2024, we had the displeasure to meet a homophobe in this truck yard. it's now 2:54 pm, the below photos are from 2:13-2:17pm. writing all this down so our company can pull the dash cam footage if necessary. footage of the dude being a literal indecent exposure type offender should be from a little before that.

also, i tend to unpredictably dissociate, so i want to document everything somewhere

pictured are the main offender, and his aging driving partner (who was smart enough to keep quiet in front of us, so was probably the one to come up with 'those bitches cut us off' story). cropped out is the truck yard employee that they waved down after the fact and was just doing his job.

anyways, one of the two people we've seen pissing out in the open today at this same facility turned out to be a raging homophobe. He was exposing himself in public, urinating on his left front wheel, and as we pass their truck we both gave him 'what the fuck was that weird behavior' looks from inside our truck.

we got stuck in line waiting to leave the facility in front of him. he came up to our truck pounding on her window yelling "fucking dykes" at us giving us the finger. he ran away quickly when he saw me take my camera out but then came back with his own camera but then ran away when Valkyrie took hers out to film him. you can see in the pictures that when he notices me with my camera out he's sidling to hide behind a trailer.

I called the safety department of their company, "first choice transport" out of fort worth, Texas, after we got screamed at and before the offenders flagged down a yard worker. To the company's credit, the person I spoke with said that it would be his next call to speak with the offending guy. I didn't see anybody take a phone call while the rest of this played out, but that doesn't mean it won't be addressed appropriately.

the yard worker they flagged down to tell their concocted story about us cutting them off when they were trying to pull out (nobody was behind the wheel of the truck when this happened) asked us if we had filmed him screaming slurs. we had not, but we did tell him that there was going to be evidence in the form of a piss puddle on their front wheel.

after all this, the line finally moved and we were able to pull up and away. luckily the line had gotten longer behind us, so hopefully they are still boxed in and we won't have to see them again before leaving.

valkyrie has to leave the truck to go get her papers for this load, and asked me to stay behind to film it in case the guy comes and tries to mess with our truck. I'm going to be extremely worried until she gets back safe and sound.

I was just watching something the other day about how the insults that people throw at you are the things that they are, insecure about themselves. This guy felt disgusting about himself when we called him out for being horribly disgusting in public (using body language). he decided to throw that back at us by because he thinks that lesbians are gross, displaying his deep insecurities about his own behavior. He's probably living like a dog in that truck, not taking care of his hygiene, pissing wherever he wants, etc, and feels subhuman about it. as he should. treating a busy truck yard like your own personal toilet/locker room is not okay.

anyways. enjoy these pics of mundane evil out here in colorado today

[wispstalk]

what does empire baby syndrome mean?

typically when i use it i'm being snide about my fellow americans and our tendency to assume the machinery and impact of empire as a natural default and inherent good, our learned helplessness when it comes to looking outside our own context, and our abject ignorance of lifeways outside of/destroyed by the imperial core. like, born in the empire, knows nothing but empire, does a fish know it's wet etc etc. i didn't coin the term, heard it first on one of Abby Martin's podcasts, so that definition might be inadequate.

if a more specific example helps, i diagnosed the forum user with empire baby syndrome because 1) clearly decent at thinking about resource extraction and the infrastructure around it but 2) not good at thinking about how that relates to textiles. reasonable to assume they live in the comfortable heart of the imperial core where almost all of the exploitation involved in clothes (that keep them from freezing to death or getting arrested for public indecency) happens overseas. it would probably have made more sense if i had gone into more detail but the poster was like "i guess they import most of it" for almost EVERY HOLD which was extremely fucking hilarious. like yeah you would think that

[mute-call]

Valentine's Day Application

{SUBMITTED BY :  @red-hemlock​  || LINK }

Your name: Riversong, but please, call me River.

Romantic or platonic?: Hmm…

A night in or dinner out or an activity?: I love to move, but I get the funny feeling that you’re a bit of an ‘inside guy’. Nothing wrong with doing something nice and easy, once in a while.

Ice cream or chocolate covered strawberries?: Oh the latter, always. They can be so very fun to feed other people.

What’s your perfect date?: Let’s ‘expand’ a little, on the activity question from above. Picture this, darling: Curtains closed, lights dimmed low. Just me and you in the center of the room, dancing slow to a tune on the radio.

Would you cook for me?: Erm-… I’d remember to put the pizza in the oven, after you turn it on?

Would you let me cook for you?: Oh yes, I’d NEVER turn down free food, darling!

Can we make-out?: Hmmm…

Make out in private or in public?: Probably private, for the public’s sake. I do love a good ‘show’, but I can’t promise we wouldn’t get arrested. Public indecency laws, and everything.

Do you like to cuddle?: Does the Pope have a silly hat, darling?

Blankets or no blankets for cuddling?: Blankets, please. The warmer the comfier, after all!

Couch or bed?: Both have their little positives, but-… Whichever one’s the most 'sturdy’, really. Take that info as you will. >;3c

What are at least 3 hobbies of yours?: Nothing too fancy, really. Flower-crown making, whittling, though I’m afraid I’m no Da Vinci still when it comes to that yet; and extreme gardening! 'Extreme’, as in all of the pretty little plants that I grow could very well kill you if you’re not paying the right amount of attention, haha.

Tell me something about you no else knows: Hah! Going for the real meat and potatoes now, are we? Ohhh alright, I’ll indulge since it’s you, dear. Now don’t go around telling everyone and their mother this, but I LOVE a good romance flick; and sometimes, well, most times I tend to get more than a bit emotional when I watch said flicks.

Why do you want to be my valentine?: At first I just wanted to apologize for before. I really was kind-of a jerk to you, not to mention the whole… Dumpster-thing… But you’ve got more guts to you than I think you realize, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you at your side. If you’ll let me, of course.

What makes you a good Valentine?: Oh plenty, dear! I’m funny, I can fold people into pretzels if they’re bothering you, I’m good with my hands… But all jokes aside, I’m loyal to a fault, and I’ll always come running to pull you from the fire should you call. I might not be the most 'morally sound’ sometimes, but who cares about silly things like that, anyway! R-Right?

Oh, those are the good kind of “hmm”s. Much to,,, think about!!!

How is it that River just gets more and more attractive impressive with every passing day? Those hobbies of hers? Steven could listen to her talk about those for hours. She has this effortless charm, this balance of deadly allure and feminine grace and lovable playfulness and–

Okay, Steven. Calm down. He can still give an enthusiastic “yes” without making a fool of himself. But, really, can anyone blame him for getting a little worked up? River’s perfect. And she’s left plenty of room for his mind to wander–

[van-goghs-smoking-skull]

'No kink at pride, think of the children.'

Since people can't be asked to reasonable arguments, let's go with a thought experiment.

Bobby is gay and has a kink, a foot fetish to be exact. Sally wore flip-flops and has her toenails painted.

Do we ban Bobby, because what if he turns straight or bi over seeing Sally's feet and then loses all control over himself and starts humping her leg (which he would never do, even in private)?

Do we ban Sally for dressing like some kind of foot-slut, the absolute whore?

Or do we accept that kink at pride isn't actually dangerous to kids? Saying you have a kink is no more 'inherently sexual' than saying you are gay, or even straight for that matter. And really, all kink is about is having sex and sex-adjacent interests that are considered normal. Anyone care to guess what was not normal in the past? That's right, being queer at all has been considered a form of kink, and yes that includes ace as well, as being ace isn't considered normal for the most part.

The world is changing and some people are accepting, but as long as there are those who refuse to accept your sexuality or your gender as normal, you are still very much a kinkster to them. No kink at pride? Great, now pride is only for the cishets - well, not all the cishets, since most of them are probably into 'problematic' things, too.

Maybe stop making the extremely weird claim that kink at pride means a wild, sexual orgy that adults force kids to participate in, because that would be legally wrong already insofar as public indecency (and worse) and pedophilia, not kink.

(FYI, Bobby isn't into Sally's feet, as she's a woman, and Bobby is DEFINITELY NOT into kid's feet - quit being creepy)

Just thinking about how republicans are going after normie sex shit like "internet porn" and "dildos" now

we fucking told y'all

[lesbonono]

what's the difference between renaissance painting of naked woman and only fans? mmhh probably nothing men are just control freaks.

(warning incomplete thoughts)

back in the day like Renaissance era like they really painted woman pleasantly. like they didn't look sexy or obscene but we were in a time of extreme modesty (in which virginity was sacred and being alone with a man was shocking but lying completely naked infront of an artist was ok and of course I probably need to do more research about the public opinion of the woman captured in these paintings but like now art galleries hang them around yk?) this period feels like it was looking at nakedness and self acceptance captured and immortalising it. so what men and woman being naked and hung on walls wasn't indecent but rather artistic but only fans in an obscene immoral act of a lack of self respect?

also further more it feels like men new age of control is strange almost as if they are only consuming the biblical forbidden fruit in each fucking sponsored energy drink these podcast bros sip on during their long tired rants about the business of naked woman. and it hard to understand what they look for. (also as a general rule of thumb when thinking about men like this, it's blatantly obvious that they are confused and insecure and just also extremely undeveloped in the whole brain thing lol) but nonetheless I wonder what would happen if we took them on a trip the the Louvre. would they call a 1500 dead woman a slut? like what are their opinion on nudity back then would they try and say that we have evolved? but that was a modern society?

also maybe the paintings were still a form a porn we just romanticise it. like the people that we're painting it gave it some moral plea to be able keep distributing the damn thing. the men then are not more moral with the men now just were better at hiding under some religious or spiritual bull shit. but I would still like to believe with my modern eyes and see adoration rather than lustful (and in most cases) molestation.

this can stream into alot of other questions I have about religious stances and moral implications and contradictions in misogyny? idk idk idk

✧⁠*⁠。written at 2:30 in the morning so who knows what I'm actually trying to say? ✧⁠*⁠。

[sashi-ya]

𝐍𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐁𝐚𝐧𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐭 ~ 𝐋𝐚𝐰, 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢, 𝐀𝐜𝐞 & 𝐒𝐚𝐛𝐨 𝐱 𝐅! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

➡ Commission for @aceopmari; thank u baby for this commission!

Tw: nsfw. masturbation with feet. dp. public. 5some. hair pulling

wc: 2.3k

Commissions are open!

Another island, another freed country and with it a huge banquet. The Mugiwaras and allies have been doing this for almost two years now and since you, the newest addition to the family, joined, everything has been even more lively.

Sanji, the cook of your crew, worked hard to feed your captain as well as the rest of you and allies. This past mission had three special guests, the captain of the Heart Pirates, Trafalgar Law. The second division commander of the Shirohige pirates and Luffy’s brother, Portgas D. Ace. And another one of Luffy’s siblings, Sabo, the Revolutionary Army Chief of staff. Beautiful young men, hot and the perfect victim to your enchantress actions.

“Sanji-kun, do you need any help?” you ask, smiling so sexily and standing right behind him while he stirs some vegetables over the pan. You can tell how much his back’s muscles stiffen by simply coming closer to him and you can’t help but rejoice in such reaction.

The blonde -ex- prince turns around trying to stop the little vivid red string to drop from his nose and smiling kindly tells you that you shouldn’t work. But you insist, and your hand now lands over his shoulder. “Uh… Sanji, come on! Let me help! I’m not made of crystal” you whisper, rather sexily next to his ear.

He stutters, his legs cross a little and show you how much he is fighting not to succumb into your indecent actions. “O-ok, (Name)… If, if you want you can take this” he finally says, giving up his extreme sense of chivalry.

On your hands a silver tray with many sausages rest. Funny, you think, finding the perfect excuse to make him get even hard with a rather suggestive joke. “Thank you, Sanji-kun~ Will take this outside, I’m dying to have one of this long, meaty sausages” you utter, kissing his cheek before going outside.

The poor man is left in the worst of the states, and you can probably feel the whole ambience of the kitchen rising at least a few degrees from his burning, rosy cheeks.

Outside, the hot, always-so-serious surgeon. Tattooed work of art, the sin you are willing to commit at any hour. “Trafalgar ~” you purr next to him, making your way towards the wooden table where Ace and Sabo are opening the hot dog buns. “Name-ya?” he asks, always with a monotonous voice cadence, but icy widen eyes so fixed on your cleavage.

“Are you going to have hot dogs?” you ask, sure he dislikes bread. “I won’t, probably some rice” he answers back, omitting something you all know about his childish food preferences.

“Or you could simply eat the hot dog without the bun… I would, though” you moan, softly, biting the tip of your tongue and smirking with your eyes fixed on his. Law blinks a few times, because his high intellect screams that you wanted to say what you said, but he tries to supress, so he will not take you inside and fuck the brain out of you.

He chokes with his own saliva, and quickly answers you back. “Uh… yes, if you want… (Name)-ya”.

“Sure I will, Torao ~”

Your next victims are kidnapped by their gum gum brother, but you have no hurries. Ace and Sabo are treats you could have after the meal…

After sitting at the biggest table created by Franky over the deck of the Thousand Sunny Go, you make sure to sit right in front of Sanji and his Germa fanboy, Law. Both men have their eyes on you, warily thinking you had just flirted with one of them… poor little boys.

The blonde, who is usually the one that never sits at the table because he is usually serving his nakamas is now firmly on his seat, waiting perhaps for some special treat. A treat you are gonna give him whenever he less expects it.

Law, on the other side, eats his onigiri with stuffed cheeks and persistent gaze that burns holes in your image. His long leg bounces, anxious. Torao knows very well that tonight you wanna have fun and he will give it to you, no matter what.

Ace and Sabo are still next to the barbeque, as Ace got a special permission to be the one guarding the fire, so Luffy does not get burn because of his gluttony. They are on your back, but you are sure -well, not exactly- they won’t be able to see what you are about to do after taking your shoes off.

It’s kinda cold, so you wear some stockings. Thigh high ones, with a skirt that make you look irresistible and for them to peak under it, to discover you are wearing nothing but the tiniest red thong. On your toes and soles, you can feel the grazing sensation of the nylons against jean and linen of Law’s and Sanji’s pants.

Your smirk shows them it wasn’t a simple accident, of course it wasn’t. They look under the little tablecloth that covers their laps, and then at each other. You act so innocently, yet extremely inviting. Looking at the Grandline ahead of them, you take your index to your lips, softly asking them to keep it quiet. A task they will have to endure for being right next to their nakamas.

Up and down, you go with your feet. Up and down their growing, hard, pulsating members. You want your soles to get wet from their own arousal, from their own precum, from their own cum. And you want it as soon as possible, but you also want them to suffer the need to moan in front of them all.

Both breathe hastily, more and more. They can’t keep eating, but you do, and every bite is a foreshadow of what your mouth can do for them and their dicks.

Sanji coughs first, and Law hides under his white fluffy hat. He wouldn’t normally wear it to the table, but now it’s the perfect excuse to cover his blushed cheeks and rolling eyes.

“Sanji-kun, are you ok? You are sweating” Nami says, all of a sudden noticing his nakama suffering some kind of… discomfort? Sanji quickly smiles, stuttering, almost about to burst as your right foot has concentrated its motions over his twitching dick. “I- I’m o-ok. I- just ate a pepper and it was kinda spicy, my sweet Nami-swan” he lies, both suffering from doing it and just to be able to speak.

Nami narrows his eyes and wrinkles her freckled nose, she is not buying it. And neither is Robin. “Torao-kun, you are sweating too… what’s going on?” she asks, probably already knowing his expressions are from pure pleasure of being closer to an orgasm.

You act all worried, while your stockings become damped in their prurience but soon you notice two intense stares at your back. Without stopping the jerking motions of your toes over their laps you take a look over your shoulder. You notice a freckled youngster gawking, followed by his blonde wavy locked hair brother. You smirk at them, with a subtle carnal smile.

They noticed, they saw, and they are able to contemplate the sinful acts under the table from where they are. Both are unsure whether if it’s moral to let you and the guys enjoying or saying something, but none of them move.

You know exactly your victims are right on the verge of coming, and as much as you wanted them to do it right there at the table, you are sure you are about to have a little private party with not only two, but four delicious, hard, aroused, and needy men.

“You must have eaten my special pepper, don’t you? Come on, follow me. I’ll help you out” you say, all of a sudden, excusing yourself and standing off the table. Law and Sanji, breathe and with teary eyes stand up. Of course, not before they stretched their shirts enough to cover the wet spots and hard bulges on their pants.

You walk past the brothers, who astonished look at you walk as if nothing happened. “You two, if you want you can join the party ~”

As soon as you pronounced those words, there was no doubt. Ace and Sabo followed you inside, like moths driven to a light in the middle of a summer night. After them, Law, and Sanji. They have trouble walking, and their panting announces you how needy for a release they are.

“Sirs, welcome to my private party” you mumble, smirking at them four and taking your shirt after. Your breasts bounce as they get released from your clothing.

Law is the first one to come at you, his tattooed death fingers tangle with your hair pulling your head back. “Why did you- why?” Law asks, a little annoyed for the embarrassment of looking like a disaster in front of everybody, but horny as hell.

“Heh… don’t get mad at me, Torao…” you whine, flashing a sweet, innocent, Lolita like look. “I’m not mad, but finish the job” he says, smirking like he only knows how to and pushing you to the bed. You land with your ass and spread your legs, flashing your wet sex through your red panties to make the men in front of you drool.

They quickly unbuckle their belts, waiting for their turn to be masturbated by your feet. “One at a time, I want you all to get my nylons damped with your cum” you tell them, licking your upper teeth row.

First, Law, who seems desperate. His long shaft and the piercing on his dick getting slightly tangled with your stockings. Your toes tingling his gland, forming transparent strings of precum. He bites his shirt so it can be lifted up and the many spasms of his hard belly show how closer he is to finish.

He finally reaches climax, fixing his eyes on the ceiling of your room, grunting, bathing in sticky immaculate product your black pantyhose. He is quickly pushed to the side by Ace, he is in heaven and is almost about to burst by just watching your toes curl around the tip of his friend’s manhood.

Soon, the freckled young man bathes your feet too and it gets so wet. But you need more, they need more. You want their cum to drip into the ground and you will get it.

The two that are left are Sabo and Sanji. The blondes are panting, at this point they are about to cum on their own, but they will get their special treatment too. First, Sabo. Since he didn’t get any pleasure yet and your soles are itching to feel his hard, throbbing sex.

Up and down, tickling him and also enjoying the veins forming on his temples he cums with a loud grunt. At this point your feet are absolutely covered in their warm seeds, but there is one more remaining. And the one who hasn’t cum yet is the one who you are sure is both suffering and enjoying the wait… “Sanji-kun? Honey, come here!” you call him with a beckoning finger, watching reddish drops fall from his nose and an almost purple sex from the need to burst into a explosive orgasm.  

He walks to you with difficulty, breathing hastily, so ready for you. It’s a wonderful experience for the cook to get his dick covered in other’s cum mixed with the roughness of the nylons that turn a little dry with time.

He comes almost instantly, with tears in his eyes and no logical words coming out of his mouth. It bathes your feet, but also your legs. Desperate, submitted to your foot magic…“(Name)-chwan, you are amazing”

“(Name), let us fuck you”

They say, helping you stand up and walk to the bed.

“Please, let us fill you up over that bed” “(Name)-ya, fuck… spread your legs wider”

They insist, pushing you against the mattress, eager to devour you.

“Guys, calm down… we have all night”  You say, smiling in total bliss, allowing them four to surround you like beasts so ready to enjoy their prey.

You are moved as if you were a doll, Sabo makes you sit over his belly with his sex grazing your now dripping entrance. Law, on top of you, so ready to be the first to pounce into you, to stretch you. Sanji and Ace both rubbing their hardness all over your lips. Lips that get shiny by the once again sprouting liquids of their salacity.

In a matter of seconds, you feel the pressure of not only Law’s sex inside of you, but also Sabo’s. Your walls clench desperately to them, milking their dicks as they go in and out of you. Mouth occupied by Sanji’s upcoming new orgasm, and Ace’s lips around your nipples.

“I’m glad you invited us to your party, sweetheart” Sabo whispers, in between panting and grunts in your ear, with his strong hands around your neck from behind. At this point you simply wish you could say something else besides a couple of moans and “mmmhs”. But you can’t, and instead, you allow them to fully enjoy your body like the sweet dessert they want after such a big banquet.

Law enjoys the way your eyes turn white and how his nails carve marks on your inner thighs to keep them open. Sanji, trembles, and his forehead presses with the freckled boy’s one. Both coming, bathing your chin and chest with their sweet, warm seed.

Warm seed that soon also floods your insides, your womb feeling the pressure of Trafalgar’s and Sabo’s release, mixed with the intense spasms of your own body as you also climax…

What a banquet, what a fun and sinful private party to celebrate freedom ~

[dadbodosamu]

only you || part i

Stepdad Osamu x Fem!Reader

WARNINGS: pseudocest, stepcest, cheating, wombfucking, semi-public sex (in an alley), extremely light dumbification, breeding kink, spit kink, Osamu has a dick piercing

4.5k words. thanks to @waka-chan-out and @vanilleswtmacaron for beta reading this and reassuring me that it doesn’t suck lol

ao3 link here (aha its not too long mobile just sucks!!) part i || part ii || part iii || part iv || part v || part vi || extras || only you, too

You sighed as you tapped your fingers on the table. Your mom had decided it was high time for you to meet your new stepdad, who you had put off meeting for the past three years. You smiled as you remembered the perfectly timed appendicitis that had you missing the wedding. You couldn’t have planned it better if you tried. 

Your dad had only passed away a little under four years ago, leaving your mom to remarry only six months later. You’d opted to live with your grandmother, citing her health as a reason to live with her on her farm. Your plan had worked perfectly, and you hadn’t had to meet Osamu for three years.

Now though, with your grandmother in the hospital, your mom thought it was a great time for you to come and visit and finally meet the great Osamu.

“Osamu should be home any minute,” your mom said, smiling happily over the takoyaki she was making. “He’s bringing your favourite!”

“Yay,” you said, unenthusiastically. You glanced at the time on your phone. You were almost wishing Osamu to be here so you wouldn’t have to spend another awkward second with your mom.

You and your mom hadn’t been close to begin with, you always being a daddy’s girl from the day you were born. And after remarrying so quickly, you’d drifted even further apart. At this point, you had nothing to speak to her about.

“I’m home!” Someone called. The door slid shut behind them and you glanced around, waiting for them to appear in the kitchen. “And I brought umeboshi onigiri!”

The man who stepped into the kitchen nearly knocked you out of your seat.

He was handsome. Devastatingly, heartachingly, handsome. He was tall, with brown hair and deep grey eyes, and thick. His t-shirt was pulled taut over his broad shoulders and his thighs in his shorts were almost indecent. 

The next thing you noticed was that he was young. Probably only a handful of years older than your twenty-one, definitely closer to your age than your mom’s.

God, why had you put this meeting off? Had you known your mom was married to an actual god, you would’ve actually visited.

“Hey, honey,” your mom greeted, smiling at him. Your stomach twisted as she leaned over, puckering her lips for a kiss. Osamu pecked her lips quickly and turned towards you.

“Hey, I’m Osamu,” he greeted, smiling widely at you. Your heart skipped. “I heard ya like umeboshi onigiri so I made you some.”

“Th-thank you,” you stuttered. “I’m Y/n. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to finally meet ya,” Osamu said. “Was starting to think ya were avoiding me!”

“More like she was avoiding me,” your mom said. “She was always a daddy’s girl.”

“Oh?” Osamu asked, looking at you. Your cheeks burned. “Well, I’d never try to replace yer dad, but if ya ever need some daddy/daughter time, I’m here for ya.”

You bit the inside of your cheek to keep from saying something stupid. 

“I really appreciate that,” you said. 

“Oh, I’m so glad you two are getting along already!” Your mom squealed. She carried the takoyaki to the table and smiled as she sat down. “Dinner is finally ready.”

“Itadakimasu,” you mumbled, already loading your plate up with onigiri and the other food on the table. 

“So, how is university going?” Your mom asked. 

You shrugged as you slurped up some noodles. “It’s going. Made nationals.”

“Oh? What sport do ya play? I don’t think yer mom ever mentioned,” Osamu said. You rolled your eyes. Of course she hadn’t mentioned volleyball, it wasn’t like you’d been playing since elementary school or anything.

“Volleyball,” you said. “I was on the Niiyama girls team in high school. Hoping to go pro after uni.”

“Volleyball? I played in high school! My brother, Atsumu, and I were on the Inarizaki team,” Osamu exclaimed. 

“Not Miya Atsumu, right?” You asked, excitedly. “MSBY Black Jackals Miya Atsumu?”

“The very one!” Osamu said.

“No way! They’re my favourite team! I have a signed poster in my room, it’s my prized possession!” I exclaimed. “I heard a few members are going to the Olympics this year.”

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me she plays volleyball,” Osamu said, glancing at your mom.

“Must’ve slipped my mind,” your mom said.

“We should go to a game sometimes,” Osamu said. “I can get an extra ticket to the MSBY, Adlers game later this week.”

“That sounds great!” You said, smiling widely.

Your mom ate in relative silence as you and Osamu traded stories about your volleyball times, only ever inputting something every once in a while. After dinner, Osamu found a Sendai Frogs match. 

“I’m currently in the nation’s top 3 setters,” you said, proudly. “I’m number two behind Takao Michi.”

“I’ll have to start coming to yer games,” Osamu said. “See ya in action.”

“I’d like that,” you said, honestly. 

“Why don’t ya come to work with me tomorrow? I can introduce ya to a few of my friends that are in town,” Osamu said.

“Absolutely,” you said.

“Don’t get me wrong though, I’m putting ya to work while yer there,” Osamu said. Your mom yawned.

“You all have me worn out from all this volleyball talk,” she said. “I’m going to bed.”

“Night, mom,” you said as she stood up.

“Osamu?” She questioned, turning back to glance at him.

“Oh, we’re going to stay up a bit longer,” he said. “The Schweinden Adlers have a match after the Frogs.”

“Oh, okay,” she said. You could hear the disappointment in her voice.

Osamu waited until you heard the bedroom door click shut before speaking.

“I know this is probably too much information about yer mom but she must think I’m some sex robot,” Osamu said, huffing. “A guy can only do so much.”

You crinkled your nose. “Gross, I did not need to know that.” You tried to hold steady but laughter bubbled up through your lips. Osamu laughed loudly and you joined him, holding your gut with how hard you were laughing.

“We need- we need to be- to be quiet!” Osamu laughed. “She’s trying to- tryin’ to sleep.”

You giggled a few more times before quieting down.

“So, how old are ya?” Osamu asked, standing up. “Old enough for a beer?”

“I’m twenty-one,” you said. “Old enough for a beer.”

“We got wine coolers if ya would rather have that,” Osamu said, stepping into the kitchen.

“Please,” you said. “So, how old are you? Can’t help but notice you’re quite a bit younger than my mom.”

“Twenty-five, twenty-six in October,” he said, grabbing a beer and a wine cooler out of the fridge.

“Follow up question,” you said, “and I don’t mean any offence, I’m sure she’s great in some ways, but why my mom? I mean, surely there’s no shortage of people your age that are wanting you.”

Osamu took a long drink from his beer before answering. “Ask me after I’ve drunk a few of these.”

You pursed your lips and took a sip of your fruity drink. “Fine,” you said. “Then let’s play a game. Every time the Adlers score, I’ll ask you a question and every time the Tachibana Red Falcons score, you get to ask me a question.”

“Deal,” Osamu said.

“Oh! Score!” You exclaimed, throwing your hands up. “Another untouchable spike by Ushiwaka!”

“Shush, yer mom,” Osamu giggled. You rolled your eyes and chugged the rest of your fifth drink.

“You shush, it’s my turn,” you said, plopping down on the couch next to Osamu. “So, now tell me,” You hiccupped. “My bad. Now tell me, why my mom? Why not someone your age? Because I’m gonna- I’m gonna be honest, you’re hot and my mom is, like, she’s not, like, ugly, but, like, she’s, like, fifty.”

“I could just like cougars,” Osamu teased. You rolled your eyes and popped the top on your next drink.

“Tell the, the truth, ‘Samu,” you slurred. 

“Fine, but this stays between us, as best friends,” he said.

“Bee ef efs,” you slurred.

“Yer mom helped fund my restaurant,” he said. “So, I felt bad. She’s so nice and sweet. So, I married her.”

“Now you have a step kid that’s only four years younger than you,” you said. 

“Yeah, she didn’t really mention ya before we got married,” he said. Osamu leaned in close to you. “She didn’t mention how attractive ya were either.”

Your cheeks flushed. You turned your head away from him, looking back to the television.

“Oh, Falcons scored,” you said. “It’s your turn to ask a question.”

Osamu took a sip of his beer before speaking. “Why have ya been avoidin’ yer mom?”

You took a large gulp from your drink. “I haven’t been avoiding her,” you lied. Osamu blinked at you slowly. 

“Fine, fine!” You exclaimed. You sipped from your drink, then responded, “Mainly because she remarried so quickly after Dad died. And to someone only four years older than me. But we’ve never been close. She and I never really saw eye-to-eye. She was the love of my dad’s life and he was just another guy to her. Not to mention, she’s never been remotely interested in anything in my life, she’s always been so self-absorbed. I doubt she even knew I still played volleyball, that’s probably why she didn’t mention it to you.”

Osamu stayed silent as you chugged the remainder of your drink.

“I know it’s probably not comforting, but I’ll be there for ya if ya need me,” Osamu said. “Even if yer mom and I separate, I consider ya a friend now.”

Osamu’s words were oddly comforting. You nodded as you reached for yet another wine cooler. 

“I’m oddly comforted,” you said, popping the top easily. You fiddled with the top, thinking of what to say next.

“Another Falcons score,” Osamu said. “My turn again.”

“Question away,” you said. 

“Can’t think of any,” Osamu said. He yawned.

“Tired already?” You teased, elbowing him in the side. “Old man.”

“I’m twenty-five,” he argued, yawning again. “But I am going to bed. Let’s call a rain check on our game.”

“Deal,” you said, raising your bottle to him. “Might as well go to bed, too. Night, Samu.”

“Night, Y/n,” Osamu said, standing up. He stretched out before padding down the hallway to your mom’s room. 

You sighed loudly once you heard the door click shut. You gulped down your drink. “Good going, Y/n. You finally found a guy you like and he’s your stepdad.”

You finished your drink before gathering all the empty bottles and cans, throwing them in the recycling before walking towards your room. You collapsed onto your unmade bed and passed out before your head hit the pillow. 

“Two salted salmon onigiri,” you said, placing the plate in front of the professional volleyball player. “And onion soup.”

“Go ahead and join them,” Osamu said, placing a few plates on the same table. “I’ll bring you out some umeboshi onigiri.”

“Thanks,” you said. You could barely contain your excitement as you took a seat between Miya Atsumu and Bokuto Koutarou.

“So, yer a setter?” Atsumu asked, taking a bite of his onigiri. You nodded.

“Number two in the nation,” you said.

“She’s better than you were, Tsumu!” Hinata Shoyo exclaimed. You smiled widely.

“In high school, I was ranked number one under nineteen in my second and third years,” you said. “I even got to play in the junior Olympics in high school. We only won silver, though.”

“We’re playing the Olympics this year,” Bokuto said. “And a few of our friends from the Adlers.”

“Kageyama Tobio, Ushijima Wakatoshi, and Hoshimiumi Kourai?” You asked. “I’ve been keeping up with everyone considered for the Olympics.”

“Maybe you’ll be playing in the next Olympics,” Sakusa said. 

“That’s the goal,” you said, smiling. Osamu set a plate in front of you. “Thank you.”

“So our little star setter is here for the next week,” Osamu said, placing a strong hand on your shoulder. “We should play a game while she’s down, see how good she really is.”

“I’m game!” Bokuto exclaimed. “I wanna see those number two in the nation skills!”

“Probably nowhere near the level of you guys,” you said.

“We do have a few years on ya,” Atsumu said, ruffling your hair. 

“Literally only four,” you said, fixing your hair.

“Leave the kid alone, Tsumu,” Osamu said.

“Hey, she’s my niece now, I reserve the right to tease her,” Atsumu said.

“Uncle Tsumu,” you teased.

“That’s right, Uncle Tsumu and Daddy Samu,” Atsumu said. 

Your stomach flipped as the MSBY boys laughed. Osamu looked down at you and winked. You clenched your thighs together.

“All right, quiet down before ya disturb my payin’ guests,” Osamu said. 

“Lunch on Samu-kun!” Hinata exclaimed. Osamu rolled his eyes.

“Once yer finished, I want ya back in the kitchen,” Osamu said. He rubbed your back before walking into the kitchen.

“So, you plan on going professional after university?” Bokuto asked.

You nodded as the table fell into casual conversation.

“I already have offers to go play in France and Brazil,” you said, taking a bite of your onigiri.

“Brazil is fantastic,” Hinata said. “I played there for a while.”

“You liked it? I’ve been debating back and forth between the two. Can’t decide which one I would enjoy more,” you said. “Does Brazil have good food?”

“The best! Unless you’re looking for Japanese food,” Hinata said. “There’s no good Japanese food.”

“Noted,” you said, smiling.

“What are you studying in school?” Sakusa asked.

“Education,” you said. “If volleyball doesn’t work out I want to teach Japanese in another country.”

“Smart,” Sakusa said.

“So, any boyfriends? Girlfriends? Significant others?” Atsumu asked.

You laughed. “With what time?”

“Oh, come on, there has to be someone!” Atsumu exclaimed. “We all find time for a lil’ somethin’.”

“There was a girl,” you admitted. “On my volleyball team, but we both cared more about volleyball than each other.”

“Any crushes?” Bokuto asked. He winked at you and flexed his arms playfully.

You pursed your lips. “And why should I tell you if I do?”

“Because we’re all best friends now!” Hinata shouted, slamming his hand on the table. He ignored the looks from the other customers.

“There is this guy I have my eye on,” you said. “He’s tall, nice, and beefy as hell.”

“Ooo, tell us more,” Bokuto said.

You shook your head. “No use talking about him. He’s strictly off limits.”

“He’s gay,” Atsumu said, nodding his head.

“What?! No!” You laughed. “He’s taken.”

“Ah, university relationships aren’t always serious, you can probably still get him,” Hinata said, waving away your worries.

“He’s married,” you said. The boys all hissed in sympathy.

“Ask for a threesome,” Atsumu said. Your face must’ve shown your disgust because the boys all laughed at you.

“She must be ugly,” Bokuto said.

“We don’t get along the best,” you said. You sighed as you looked down at your empty plate.

“Better get to work before Daddy Samu grounds you,” Atsumu teased.

You rolled your eyes, but stood up. 

“It was nice meeting you guys,” you said. “I hope we can get a game together before I leave.”

“Oh, we definitely will,” Bokuto said.

“I’ll hold you to it,” you said, smiling. You waved bye to them as you entered the kitchen.

Osamu was leaned over the stove top, stirring a large pot of soup.

“Have fun?” He asked, wiping sweat off his brow with the towel thrown over his shoulder. You nodded.

“They were all super nice,” you said. “I feel like we’re actually friends now.”

“That’s good,” Osamu said, smiling at you. “Ya wanna start putting together a couple of onigiri?”

“No problem,” you said, washing your hands quickly. 

“We need five salted salmon and three umeboshi,” Osamu said. “And then out to table three.”

“Got it,” you said.

The rest of the day went by relatively quickly and smoothly. It was finally around midnight when the last customers finally left and you and Osamu could close down shop.

“Come into my office and I’ll show you how to count all the money,” Osamu said, locking the main doors. 

You followed him into his small office. 

“Okay, whenever you count the money, make sure the door is closed and locked behind you,” Osamu said, closing the door behind him. 

You held your breath as he slowly slid past you, your chest brushing against his.

“A lil’ cramped in here, sorry,” Osamu said, sitting at his desk.

“It’s fine,” you mumbled, sitting in the folding chair next to him.

“So, d’ya have a good day?” Osamu asked, casually thumbing through bills.

You nodded. “It was good! It was nice meeting your friends. I really liked them.”

“Ooo, any of ‘em catch yer eye?” Osamu teased. You rolled your eyes.

“I already have my eye on someone,” you said.

“Oh?” Osamu questioned.

“He’s taken though,” you said. “Strictly off limits.”

“Ask for a threesome,” he said.

You laughed loudly. “Funny, Atsumu said the same thing. But no, I don’t get along with his wife.”

“Wife? That sucks,” he said, placing a wad of cash in an envelope. 

“Yeah,” you agreed.

“Well, I, for one, think yer a catch,” Osamu said, sealing the envelope. “Anyone would be lucky to have ya.”

“Thanks, Samu,” you said, face burning. He patted your thigh.

“Anytime, princess,” Osamu said. You clenched your thighs together at the new nickname. “Well, we’re all done here, let’s get home.”

You trailed after him like a lost puppy as he double checked all the appliances were off and flipping the lights off.

You shivered as you stepped into the cool, night air. 

“Cold?” Osamu asked, already peeling off his Onigiri Miya hoodie.

“Yeah, a little,” you said, gladly taking the hoodie from him. You tugged it over your head and breathed deeply. “Smells good. Half expected it to smell like onigiri.”

“It will soon,” Osamu said, smiling. “It’s new. Just got the shipment in last week.”

“I’ll have to get one,” you said.

“Keep it,” Osamu said. “Ya look cute in it.”

You blushed deeply. You bumped his shoulder with yours gently.

“It’s like, way too big,” you said.

Osamu shrugged. “Oversized is in. Besides, I thought girls loved to steal guys’ hoodies.”

“Yeah, guys they like,” you said.

“Well, ya took it from me,” Osamu said, bumping your shoulder. “Ya must like me a little.”

“Whatever,” you said, cheeks burning. Osamu laughed.

“Someone has a crush!” He sang.

“Shut up! I don’t have a crush on you,” you said.

“Ya did call me hot last night,” he said.

“I was drunk, so it doesn’t count,” you said. He rolled his eyes obnoxiously.

“Ya have a crush on me, just admit it,” Osamu said. “I won’t tell anyone, pinky promise.”

“You’re my stepdad, in case you forgot,” you replied. “That’s basically incest, isn’t it?”

“So ya admit it?” Osamu asked. You shoved him playfully.

“I actually have a crush on Atsumu,” you said. “He’s the hotter twin.”

Osamu pushed you into an alley and caged you against the cool bricks of a building.

“Oh?” Osamu said. “Ya think Atsumu is the hotter twin?”

You nodded slowly as Osamu looked down at you.

“It’s the hair,” you squeaked.

“Oh, yeah, forgot that girls love a guy who doesn’t know what toner is,” Osamu said, leaning down. “I think yer lying.” His nose was nearly touching yours.

“I’m not,” you mumbled. Osamu’s hands moved from either side of your head to your hips. 

“You are,” Osamu whispered, lips brushing against your ear. You shivered.

“And if I am?” You asked.

“I don’t like bad girls,” Osamu said. “Lying is grounds for punishment.”

“Punishment?” You asked.

“I’d bend ya over my knee and spank ya until ya begged for mercy,” he said. You sucked in a sharp breath.

“It’s a good thing I’m not lying, then,” you said. By now, Osamu’s lips were nearly against yours, so close you could feel the heat from his breath on your lips.

Osamu ground his hips against yours, firmly pressing his hard on against you.

You bit your lip and glanced down. His cock was straining against his jeans, eager to be released.

“Tell the truth and I’ll think about not putting ya over my knee,” Osamu said, lips softly brushing against yours. 

“You’re the hotter twin,” you said, putting your arms around his neck. “And I have a crush on you. And I want you to fuck me in this alley.”

“There we go,” Osamu said. He finally kissed you roughly, like he wanted to devour you. You moaned as he ground against you.

“Samu,” you moaned, pulling back. He wasted no time, kissing down your neck, sucking and biting at your sensitive skin.

“Been thinkin’ about pushin’ this lil’ skirt up all day,” he growled, pushing your skirt up around your waist, revealing the pretty pink lace of your underwear. 

“Please,” you gasped as he shoved his jeans and underwear down, releasing his cock. You nearly moaned at the sight of it, long and thick and leaking precum from the swollen tip.

“Gonna wreck this cute little cunt,” Osamu said, tugging your underwear down and letting them fall to the ground. He dragged the tip of his cock through your wet folds, teasing your clit and hole.

“Is- Is that a piercing I feel?” You asked, feeling cool metal against your warm folds.

“I’ll give ya a closer look later,” he said, teasingly pushing the tip in and out of your hole. “Wanna be in ya now.”

“Fill me up, please, Samu,” you begged, digging your fingernails into his skin. Your walls fluttered around nothing as he lifted you up. You instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist.

“Good girl,” he muttered, lining his cock up with your hole. “Beg for my cock, princess.”

“Please, please, please!” You cried. “Want your cock in me, need it! Please, Samu, want you to fill me up.”

“Of course, baby girl, anything for my princess,” Osamu said, kissing you softly. He rutted his hips up into you, stretching you out suddenly.

You moaned loudly and let your head fall on Osamu's broad shoulder. 

“So big,” you moaned. “Hurts.”

“Shh, shh, yer takin’ me so well, baby,” Osamu said. “Squeezin’ me so tight, wanna bust just bein’ in ya.”

You whimpered as Osamu slowly pulled out. He pushed back in slowly, giving you time to adjust to each inch. Your walls clenched around him, sucking him in deeper and deeper until the swollen tip was kissing your cervix.

“Fuck,” he hissed. “Gonna ruin ya.” Osamu pulled out until just the tip was in and slammed back into you.

You gasped loudly as his cock breached your cervix, going deeper than anything had ever been in you and stretching you more than anything ever had.

“Samu!” You cried, throwing your head back and digging your nails into the nape of his neck. “Fuck, harder, please!”

“Feel that, baby? I’m so deep in ya,” Osamu said. “Fuckin’ past your cervix, yeah?”

You nodded as you bit back your moans as Osamu pounded into you. You buried your head into his shoulder and bit down, quieting your too loud moans.

“Next time, ‘m gonna have ya somewhere ya can be loud as ya want,” Osamu grunted. “Wanna hear yer pretty, little moans.”

You let out a soft moan in his ear and he snapped his hips up harder into you.

“Ah, Samu,” you moaned, struggling to keep your volume down. “Gonna cum.”

He pinched your clit as you gushed around his cock. You looked down to where your bodies met and watched as your juices leaked down his cock, dripping on his heavy balls. You moaned.

“Gonna fill ya up, baby,” he growled lowly. “Come ‘ere.”

He pulled your head up by your hair and squeezed your cheeks until your mouth fell open, tongue lolling out. He gathered spit in his mouth and spat it on your waiting tongue.

“Don’t swallow,” he said. He kissed you deeply, licking into your mouth and sucking your tongue. He kissed you messily, spit running down your chin and a thin strand of it connecting you two when he finally pulled back. 

“Such a messy, little slut,” he said, slamming his hips against yours. “Taking my spit so well. Gonna take my cum like that?”

You nodded, unable to speak beyond gasps and moans as his cock abused your cunt.

“Can’t speak? Fucked ya dumb, huh?” Osamu asked. He chuckled. “My cock makin’ ya dumb, little baby?”

You whined. God, you wanted him to fill you up so bad. 

“Cum. Inside.” You gasped out.

“Oh? Want me t’ breed ya? Make ya big and swollen with my baby?” Osamu asked, hips moving faster.

You nodded furiously. He rubbed your clit in tight, fast circles.

“Cream ‘round my cock one more time, baby,” he grunted. 

“Samu!” You exclaimed. Your stomach tightened as your walls fluttered like crazy.

“Yeah? Gonna cum again for me?” Osamu asked. You let out a high pitched moan as the coil in your stomach snapped.

“Fill me up, please!” You moaned as you came. Osamu’s hips stuttered as he pushed into you deeply before painting your womb white. You cried out, letting your head rest against his shoulder as he moaned.

“Fuck, yer still so tight around my cock,” he hissed. Your walls fluttered. “Perfect little cunt, princess. Milkin’ me dry like a good girl.”

You whimpered as he slowly pulled out. Your legs went limp, falling from his waist.

“Can’t stand,” you mumbled, legs shaking with the weak attempt you made. Osamu held you up as he pulled his pants back up and pulled your panties back on.

“Come here, baby,” he said, swooping you up bridal style. “Let’s go home, princess.”

You nodded lamely as he carried you. You must’ve fallen asleep, because the next thing you heard was Osamu talking to your mother.

“She was practically dead on her feet,” Osamu said. “Fell asleep while I was counting the money.”

“You could’ve called, I would’ve brought the car,” your mom said. You felt Osamu shrug.

“It was no problem,” Osamu said. 

“Well, go lay her down in her bed,” your mom said. “Then maybe she’ll be out for the rest of the night.” You frowned at her suggestive tone and cuddled deeper into Osamu’s chest.

“I’ll go lay her down,” Osamu said. He carried you down the hall and entered your bedroom carefully.

As he laid you down, you grabbed his arm and whined, “Don’t go.”

“I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered. “I gotta go to my own bed.”

“Don’t- Don’t fuck her,” you mumbled. “Please.”

“Don’t worry, princess,” he said, softly brushing your hair out of your face. “It’s only you from now on.” You nodded. Osamu kissed your forehead before leaving you alone.

You blinked once, twice, before you were asleep.

[bemusedlybespectacled]

My extremely no-nonsense and INTENSE immigration law professor had a tattoo of a rose on her upper arm (so covered by a suit or shirt with sleeves, but visible if she wore a sleeveless dress). I have met at least one experienced attorney with purple hair (though admittedly she didn't do a lot of courtroom work IIRC). At least two of the paralegals in my old office had tattoos, and I wouldn't be surprised if I've met clerks or other lawyers with tattoos that have just always been covered up.

Like, yeah, there are always going to be really uptight firms or judges, but they're the kinds of firms that forbid you from wearing any suit that isn't black, blue, or grey, or the kind of judge that thinks a woman is indecent if she's not wearing pantyhose. The vast majority of lawyers will never be a part of a firm that's that limiting (it's basically only if you're planning on being outside counsel for, like, Elon Musk-level rich people), and it's kind of understood that a judge can have weird notions on all sorts of topics that have nothing to do with your abilities as a lawyer that you might need to work around.

(There are also clients who might think you're not really a lawyer because you "don't look like a lawyer," but they tend to be the same clients who think a public defender isn't a "real" lawyer, either)

So like, even if you DID have aspirations of being a lawyer for some unfathomable reason, your tattoos would probably not be that big a deal to most people, unless you somehow also wanted to spend 80 hours a week screwing over poor people. Your dad and aunt could try telling my immigration law professor that her parents failed her and she can't be a lawyer, but also she'd eat them alive and spit out their bones, so that might be a bad idea.

once when I was at my dad’s workplace, he and I were speaking to his coworker who had a butterfly tattoo. and as soon as she was out of earshot, he said “whenever I see people with tattoos, I feel that their parents have failed them.” and me, being the child of this person, who already had multiple tattoos hidden under clothing, was like 😬

[sisterspooky1013]

Red-Handed, Chapter 21

Chapter Rating: X | Read it here on AO3

This is a joint work with @xfmaweezy

“Mulder, put that back!” Scully admonishes with wide eyes as he lifts the sample out of an evidence bag.

“I thought you said you don’t believe the effects are real,” Mulder says, his eyes on the rubbery, drooping stem and browning petals of the flower.

“I don’t, but…you’re tampering with evidence, Mulder,” she says nervously, taking a large step away from him.

He smirks at her, fingering the once-red petals gently. The power of the plant is said to be in its pollen, which causes extreme arousal and is the alleged cause of a spate of public indecency charges.

“What’s the risk, Scully?” he asks. “If you find yourself overpowered by desire, I offer my services to relieve you of the urge.”

She levels him with an irritated glare.

“Thank you for your willingness to help, Mulder. If this is an extremely elaborate attempt to get me to break my own rule regarding fraternizing on the clock, keep dreaming.”

He smiles coyly, but then his nose starts twitching. He scrunches it up, twisting his mouth this way and that to try and relieve the tickling sensation in his nostrils. It culminates in a sudden, forceful sneeze that sprays over the wilting flower. He pauses, looking at the flower and then over at Scully, whose eyebrows are knit in consternation.

“I’m pretty sure it’s dead by now,” Mulder says in an attempt at reassurance. He places the flower back in the evidence bag and seals it up tight. “Even if the plant did have an aphrodisiac effect at one point, I doubt it’s still potent enough to work.”

She nods, eyeing him skeptically as he crosses the lab to a handwashing sink and begins to thoroughly scrub his fingers. She suddenly becomes acutely aware of the blood rushing through her veins, and the strong beat of her heart pumping that blood. It seems to be filtering it all in one direction: straight to her pelvis. She can feel the steady engorgement of her vulva, and the urge to clamp her thighs together is overpowering. She sits, crossing her legs and repeating to herself that this is not possible: no such reaction from a plant has ever been documented. Even so, she pulses her adductor muscles over and over, just to take the edge off.

“Are you feeling okay, Scully?” Mulder asks, his back still to her as he stands before the sink.

“Yeah—” she squeaks, then stops and clears her throat, trying to bring her voice down to a normal register. “Yeah, I feel fine,” she lies. “Are you okay?”

Mulder dries his hands and then turns around slowly. His cheeks are flushed, which she realizes is likely from embarrassment as her eyes drop lower to the pronounced tent at the front of his slacks. She almost laughs, but the sight of his erection sends a new rush of blood to her own, less obvious, arousal and what comes out of her mouth is a low, throaty moan.

“You still think the effects aren’t real?” Mulder asks, chest heaving. His eyes are dark and he’s looking at her like she’s the lone glass of water in the middle of a desert.

Her eyes dart over to the door to the lab, through which the tech left not five minutes ago. He could be back any minute. On the plus side, the door has a lock.

Her need is overpowering. She thought she knew the height of desire after so many years watching Mulder strut around shirtless, but this is more than lust. She feels like she can’t breathe, and the only way to get air is to touch or be touched. Looking again to the door, and then to Mulder’s groin, she slips one hand between her legs and presses firmly on her clit through her suit pants. Her eyes roll back in her head and her mouth falls open as she makes sounds that should probably embarrass her.

“Fuck, Scully,” Mulder groans, and she hears the clip of his wingtips over the concrete floor and then the click of the lock.

“Mulder, we can’t,” she says, but even as the words leave her mouth she knows that they will.

Ignoring her protestations, he hooks his hands under her armpits and hauls her to standing, grinding his crotch against her as he picks her up and crosses to one of the stainless steel tables in the lab. Turning her back to him, he unsnaps her pants and pushes them, along with her panties, down to her knees. She can’t bring herself to object, so when he lifts her up and drapes her over the table with her ass in the air, she moves her legs further apart to allow him access.

“Holy shit, you’re so wet,” he says with amazement, and just like that he’s inside her.

It’s like that first gasp of breath when you reach the surface after being underwater too long. She gulps for air as he drives into her, the table scooting across the floor in one-inch increments with each thrust. It feels so good it almost hurts, is almost too much, but she knows she won’t ask him to stop. The symphony of slapping skin, the wet slosh of their coupling, each of their unrestrained cries and the shriek of the table against the floor echo off the bare walls in the lab. Another sound joins the mix, an insistent pounding, that she thinks must be her heart about to burst.

The release is just as powerful as the arousal. As she nears the peak, her hearing cuts out, replaced by a steady ring. Every nerve ending in her body seems to swell and flood with dopamine, every inch of her skin awash with pleasure. Instead of remaining localized to her clitoris, it feels like her entire body is coming, her muscle tone evaporating as she makes sounds she cannot hear, and Mulder continues to pound into her. When his weight collapses over her back she knows that he is right there with her, spent and relieved.

They lie there, catching their breath and coming back to their senses. Her heart rate slows, but that persistent pounding won’t let up. As her faculties return, Scully stiffens and realizes where they are, and that the pounding sound is someone banging on the door.

“Mulder, get off me,” she says in a panic, and he stands up, tucking his dick back into his slacks and casting her a chagrined expression.

She eases herself off the table, but her legs feel like jelly, and she struggles to get her pants back up. Once she’s decent, she makes her way unsteadily back to the chair she’d been sitting in and arranges herself into a presentable position. Mulder pulls in a deep breath and pushes it out slowly through pursed lips, then crosses to the door.

“Sorry, I didn’t realize the door was locked,” he says in a casual tone as he steps aside and allows the lab tech to enter.

The tech takes one step into the room and looks around. First at the red-faced, rumpled agents, then to the table that is several feet off its normal location. His eyes land on the evidence bag, and he heaves a sigh.

“You opened the bag, didn’t you?” he asks flatly, and Mulder shakes his head dismissively. “Okay, so you’re telling me if I review the footage from that camera,” the tech asks, pointing to a until-now unnoticed security camera in the corner of the room, “I won’t see you open the evidence bag?”

Scully’s cheeks burn with embarrassment, and her eyes widen in fear. She looks at Mulder desperately, imploring him to find a way out of this.

“Okay, I may have opened it briefly,” he admits.

The lab tech chuffs a knowing laugh, and Scully excuses herself to the bathroom, wobbling like a baby deer towards the door. Just as she’s rounding the corner into the hallway, she hears Mulder ask the tech, “What are the odds you can get me a copy of that tape?”

Tagging @today-in-fic

[audreydoeskaren]

do you know Chinese symbolism for homosexuality?

tw homophobia, pedophilia

Hi again, for gay men there are a couple really well known ones but I’m not sure if they were real or fabricated, because all the articles describing them always cite the same couple sources from Antiquity... I tried to verify them but the only articles that didn’t copy and paste from the same source came across as extremely homophobic, so I decided to give up. The most common and reliable one is probably 断袖 or “cut sleeve”, which I mentioned in a previous ask. I would like to use this opportunity to talk about some tangential but more important topics regarding homosexuality in China though.

As a followup to my previous ask where I said I'd look through some Ming and Qing novels to see how homosexuality was perceived at the time, the conclusion I (unfortunately) came to was that homophobia was very much alive and well in Chinese literature and society. A lot of people like to argue that gay people fared pretty well in China historically by either pointing to emperors who were or were rumored to be gay or time periods where gay sex was prevalent as a form of consumption. This is extremely shallow and also kind of Orientalist in my opinion, these arguments always go for the emperors and do not take nuance into consideration or dive into wider societal discourses on homosexuality in imperial China. If you research homosexuality in Europe by only looking at royalty, you’ll find plenty of homosexual behavior too, does that mean gay people had it very easy in Europe historically?? Not to mention that they usually don’t differentiate between dynasties, let alone centuries or decades, even though public opinion on homosexuality in China (or anywhere in the world tbh) could change very quickly. This is also sort of Orientalist, assuming “imperial China” to be a never changing entity with a never changing stance on homosexuality. Since I know nothing prior to the Ming Dynasty I’ll share some of my random findings on homosexuality and homophobia in the Ming, Qing and 20th century.

Gayness as disease

Nowadays the symbol of the cut sleeve is just a benign historical allusion but historically it seems that it was used in a negative and condemning sense, implying that people thought of homosexuality as a disease or deviation from the norm. The common phrase used for the cut sleeve is "断袖之癖", usually translated as "the passion of the cut sleeve" nowadays, but the meaning of the word 癖 here leans more toward "fetish", "obsession" or "hobby" with pathological connotations. I thought maybe this word had a different, nuanced meaning historically but it seems that it was used to describe what it means :(( The only silver lining is probably that with the progression of language it isn’t offensive anymore.

In a lot of popular novels from the Ming and Qing, homosexuality was depicted as a "perversion" and a decadent lifestyle that plagues morality, and gay characters were often either killed or straightened out by the end of the story. An example of this is the story 黄九郎 Huang Jiulang from the series 聊斋志异 Strange Tales from a Chinese Studio by 蒲松龄 Pu Songling written in the 17th century. In this story, one of the protagonists was gay; he died after confessing his love to the other guy in a very fast paced bury your gays arc which somehow reminded me of the Supernatural finale, and reincarnated as a straight man because of his piety. Thanks I hate it. Pu uses the symbol of the cut sleeve to refer to the protagonist, presumably in a negative manner.

Gayness as power/status symbol

Another thing was that historically in China a lot of people confused homosexuality with pedophilia. This is a global thing, but its presence in China is often overlooked. This could be seen in the popularity of another term for homosexuality, "娈童", meaning something similar to "pederasty". I read somewhere that since the late Ming, pederasty was considered a type of tasteful consumption for high society, along with things like fashion, food, music and art. This was not equivalent to the "cut sleeve" or homosexuality as we know it nowadays, which refers to a personal sexual orientation, pederasty historically often refers to an imbalanced power dynamic where a wealthy, privileged man takes advantage of a young boy as a leisurely activity. It’s more to show off that someone in a position of privilege and wealth has the power to procure sexual objects, gender and age don’t matter much in this regard. I cannot help but cringe violently whenever someone brings up pederasty as proof of China’s historical “openness” toward gay people. Talk to me again when in this time and place you could marry someone of your sex (not a minor) and be considered a respectable couple instead of two jerks with a degenerate fetish (not saying that gay people have to marry, it’s just that the ability to do so is an important indicator of equality imo). Pedophilia and homosexuality are not one and the same good heavens.

I hypothesize that the reason why Chinese society was historically homophobic despite having no religious condemnation of homosexual individuals was the idea that having many concubines and male children was a status symbol for men. Women of marriageable age were seen more or less as commodities and male children could supposedly "continue the bloodline" 传香火 and were vessels for passing down prestige, so having them were of utmost importance to a privileged man. Being just gay or lesbian, however, meant that you didn't perform the "man strong working woman weak making babies" heteronormative family prototype, and was thus prone to criticism. When gay men didn’t have children they “couldn’t continue their bloodline” and were emasculated, when gay women didn’t have children they failed to “fulfill their duties as a woman” and were shamed.

It kind of makes sense considering how being bisexual was never a problem in comparison, especially for men. If you were a rich guy who had both male and female partners, you would still have children and concubines both male and female so nobody gives a shit. Emperor Zhengde of the Ming (reign 1505-21) was presumably bisexual and had both male and female lovers, nobody had a bone to pick with that; he famously liked to fuck around but those who criticized him did so for his debauchery instead of focusing on the gender of his partners.  This is different to homophobia in Europe where same sex attraction was considered evil and immoral in and of itself because of religious reasons, in China it was rather the other practical implications of homosexuality (not having children or a family) that attracted hate.

By the way can we just take a moment to talk about bi erasure in Chinese history. From all accounts of Emperor Zhengde I’ve read he comes across as extremely bisexual, but a lot of people try to make him a gay icon? I mean, he liked women too.

One interesting homophobic angle in ye olde China which I find kind of funny was straight women who wanted to climb the social ladder by marrying rich men talking shit about them after figuring out they were gay lmao. Historically, there were not so many work opportunities for women, so the easiest way to improve social standing was to marry a rich and powerful guy. Not saying that women didn't work, they did but their upward social mobility was restricted because they couldn't enter the imperial examination system which was how men became rich and powerful. This angle is relatively benign and kind of helps illustrate that historical Chinese homophobia was indeed fueled by classism and patriarchy.

Gayness as crime

I used to think that there were no anti-sodomy statutes in China (laws prohibiting sex between gay men), but it turns out that there was one decree in the Jiajing era (1521-67) and one in 1740, and private gay sex was not actually decriminalized until 1957. Same sex marriage is still not legal in China at time of writing. I couldn’t find detailed information on what these laws entailed or how they were enforced, but they’re enough to prove that homosexuality in China was legally punishable from the 16th century onward. On top of that, even when there was no law prohibiting private sex acts between people of the same sex, displays of gay affection such as kissing or holding hands could still be legally punished under “public indecency” or “hooliganism”, which was frequently what happened in the 20th century.