#probably very obvious what i am specifically thinking of right now but believe me its a general problem

[hostilemuppet]

have you seen any good trolls aus? (that aren't tdau bc that's an obvious given)

There was one socmed au that was funny but they're suspended now. Other than that I can't think of a single trolls au that doesn't seem to go out of ots way to shelf the girls. I get it if the guys happen to be your fave characters but if youre giving deltas role to growley Pete I think you should examine why that is

[lemon-natalia]

Nona the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 32

ngl i thought Crux was a total goner at the beginning of last chapter, but he’s still kicking somehow. he's probably fuelled by pure spite at this point

‘the Reverend Daughter has no cavalier living’ just imagine having to walk around with the knowledge that you are literally dead. like not just that you came back to life or anything, but that your body and you are literally still dead. that's just insane. also what the fuck must Aiglamene be thinking right now, given she has no idea about how Gideon ended up like this

FUCKING IANTHE IS BACK. i fully thought she had finished her ominous appearances in this book, how the hell did she get here so quickly 

i love that she’s apparently adopted Augustine’s smoking habit. it really adds to her James-Bond-Villain flair for the dramatic, which is coming out in full force here 

speaking of the fact that what’s happened to Pyrrha - namely, surviving - isn’t normal, and none of the other Lyctors’ cavaliers nor Naberius survived in a similar way. it might be unlikely given that G1deon is dead and can’t exactly say anything about what went differently during his ascension, but i hope we eventually get more information about how exactly that happened at some point 

yeah the fuck is up with Ianthe, actually. there are so many descriptions of Ianthe looking horrifically pale, and the specific mention here that she looks almost dead and pretty close to Kiriona, who is actually dead, it makes me wonder if there’s something genuinely weird going on with her?

‘Are you ever too late to come into my life and say that’ ooof the relationship between Pyrrha and Gideon is just so painful on both sides

oh for fuck’s sake Kiriona, i can’t believe she’s friends with Ianthe of all people. like they even have a secret handshake, i would kill to know how that relationship developed. these two actually getting along might be the creepiest moment so far actually 

okay, so there’s some interesting insight into Kiriona’s motivations here - if we take her at her word here, she’s got a new primary goal of wanting to be John’s cavalier. again i’m really curious as to how Kiriona and John’s relationship developed to the point that this is something she seems to genuinely want. although it could also be less that its something she really wants and more that she literally has nothing else going for her right now

and more importantly for the overall plot of the series, John is the one who told her to open the tomb and kill Alecto, two things that seem pretty opposed to his motivations earlier in the series. he’s told Kiriona that only she can do it, but given Alecto’s not so much a person as she is a Resurrection Beast in a human body, could anyone even kill her? so if John has the ulterior motive of unlocking the tomb, that makes me very concerned as to the reason why 

and once again like the end of HtN, if Ianthe is openly horrified by something it seems pretty damn dangerous. she seems to know what will happen if Alecto is released and be genuinely terrified of it, which given the look at how powerful John can get when working with Alecto (see: literally killing the entire solar system), I can see why she seems so afraid. plus i might be reading too much into this, but Ianthe’s (most obvious) major goal, becoming a Lyctor, was achieved all the way back in GtN - from the fact that she wants to keep John ‘nothing’, she seems to be pretty desperate to hold onto that status as his only Lyctor 

‘Nona unravelled’ oh no i am not even close to being emotionally prepared for this, even though i knew it was coming 

John really went all out on the religious imagery with the whole tomb thing, like he even sealed it with a rock for pete’s sake 

Palamedes complimenting (presumably) young!Harrow’s efforts at disabling the traps leading to the tomb is everything to me 

also absolutely killing me this chapter are the little hints at Gideon’s continued devotion to Harrow after everything; Gideon begging Harrow, even though she doesn’t know where she is, to ‘keep it together’, the fact that she is so willing to give up all of her blood and die for Harrow a second time. i am so obsessed with these two 

wow I cannot believe that Crux of all people is coming in clutch at the climax of this book

oh wtf Gideon DID end up killing Crux, fucking hell!! rip Crux you died as you lived: being a complete hater. he really made sure his last words were to emotionally destroy Gideon as much as possible huh 

these whole couple of pages are like a microcosm of all of Gideon’s biggest emotional hang ups really. her projecting pretty hard onto Crux about how he ‘could have lived’ for Harrow but can only die for her, her whole moment of boasting to someone who treated her awfully her whole life about how she actually is someone important. and then ending with killing Crux, which of course doesn’t 'feel good' - killing him doesn’t give her any of the parental love that she missed as a child, or remove the emotional abuse she suffered from him, or actually solve any of her emotional issues 

the running narrative in the background about Alecto remembering John leading her to the tomb is pretty disturbing i won’t lie. it's just so creepy to read about him reassuring Alecto as he leads her to essentially what is a jail cell

also i am fully aware that there’s a subplot about Anastasia and Alecto’s relationship in this last chapter, its just that there’s been so much else going on that i honestly just have not been paying attention to it at all

‘Well, happy birthday to me’ oh poor Nona, her wishing herself a happy birthday before she dies just … hurts so bad. she started out genuinely happy and optimistic, and i knew full well it wasn’t going to last, but it still hurts

[weaselandfriends]

I was wondering, why specifically classic literature? I think I remember you mentioning that the "50 pages of of classics a day" thing was intended as a training method for improving your prose, do you believe there's a major difference between the quality of prose in classic fiction compared to more modern well-regarded fiction? Do you consider your personal style to be notably 'classic' or older-fashioned in any way? Finally would you recommend your strategy to other aspiring writers? In your opinion was it a smart choice to focus on the classics as you did?

For a very long time, until about 2017, I had an innate, unquestioned belief that people generally liked good things. Thus, if something was good, it would be become popular. And what is good? Why, classic literature is good! It is consensus, agreed-upon good, tested by time. To me, reading classic literature was just an obvious decision, not even really a decision at all. If wanted to be popular, I needed to be good. If I wanted to be good, I needed to be like other good things.

(Modern Cannibals is what divested me of these notions. I truly believed Modern Cannibals would be a bigger hit than Fargo, in fact a mainstream hit, something that would win the Pulitzer. Its dramatic lack of readers on release was a major blow to my psyche.)

In regards to prose, you can actually find pretty good prose stylists among the MFA literary fiction crowd even today. The main issue is that they have no artistic ambition and nothing to write about but themselves. In genre fic no, the prose is pretty bad. Brandon Sanderson, the titan of fantasy literature right now, intentionally attempts to make his prose as bland as possible, and that's probably the best you're going to get from anything anyone is reading. Someone told me to read The Name of the Wind, which they claimed had the best prose in any fantasy novel, but it was actually one of the worst books I've ever read. The most recent novel published that I would consider "great" is 2666 by Roberto Bolano, which came out in 2004.

I wouldn't consider my style old fashioned. It's probably more similar to the aforementioned MFA litfic crowd than, say, Gustave Flaubert. I am a product of my time, and for as much as I may be influenced by classic literature, I'm also influenced by the latest trashiest anime. (Oshi no Ko kind of a banger, no?)

I would certainly recommend reading classic literature to all aspiring young writers. It's essential to learn where the medium has been and what has been done with it, across eras and cultures. Prose is a tool that can itself have meaning, it is not simply a vehicle by which you impart the meaning inherent in plot and character. And if you don't learn your past, you just become rootless.

[lyss-sketchbox]

Have you played through Natlan a little bit yet? Because I love it except for one thing. Does the Archon quest feel...off to you? At least the first act. Specifically the character introductions and character acting?

Funny thing actually i JUST finished it last night!

Well uh spoilers ahead

I think its... alright-ish? Act 1 basically sets you up with the basics, the characters, the culture, the traditions, and lore so we know whats up. Cool. We are literally being fed information because we are tourists and i can excuse that.

Idk how to feel about traveller and paimon literally going 'ah look, an opportunity has arised, its time to do our thing and help with this major event'. I mean yes thats how its always been but mentioning it doesnt... help... it just points out a flaw.

The characters are fine enough imo. I really expected Mualani to have this super hyper attitude and squeaky voice we usually get from an 'everyone loves me' character but shes suprisingly mellow and i appreciate that alot. (May change with Citlali though and im not looking forward to it)

I do not like how it is very Tell not Show. Because you know what keeps being shown? The fact that Kachina is A CHILD. Maybe she's not an actual child who knows but hyv is clearly infantilizing her. Case in point:

The chief of the tribe literally asked you for ID because you are strangers hanging out around her. He literally said 'a good feeling isnt gonna be enough for your parents to trust these people'

After the chief knew who the traveller is, he said he could trust Kachina to go to the Stadium to sign up and not get into trouble. She HAS to participate because she has an Ancient Name and you can barely trust her to go to the stadium???

Kachina mentioning how she can't keep excusing her age for being a bad warrior. So she KNOWS shes young and either she or other people in the past has excused her for her performance because of her age.

The genuine actual side by side of her first match up. You know a child vs a massive buff man. Maybe it's just me but her kit is clearly not made to DPS and hyv making us fight these opponents with only her kinda makes it feel so much like a drag.

Everyone around her keeps saying oh shes actually really good, she almost made it last time, shes super powerful just lacking confidence. Well we dont really... see it. When the tournament started and we play as mualani and kachina all i can think about it 'yeah mualani is gonna do all the fighting here' and it adds to the idea that kachina literally did the bare minimum. But then suddenly we get a really cool cutscene of her defeating a 3 times winning veteran. It is not believable to me.

Also now that she's won we are literally sending her off to fight the abyss where she has a REAL CHANCE OF DYING but we gotta be ok with it because she can get resurrected? Are we not supposed to be concerned that we are sending a child to war with a real chance of her dying?

It is such a tonal shock and the traveller or paimon barely says anything about it so WE are supposed to be fine with it too? It probably is culture shock but like... SOME people still sees Clorinde as a killer despite doing her job as a duelist, how do you think those people will think seeing THIS tradition.

As for the bit where we go with mualani while we wait for kachina to come back from war, it was... alright i think. But the manufactured 'chillness' is there, like you can tell theyre trying their hardest to potray this tribe as the chill surfers one. Its also obvious they want us to like Atea. While she looks a lil overbearing i appreciate that they were being subtle about her 'my life isnt gonna last long so i am doing this dangerous task', they had to explain it anyway for mualani but i think them not stating out right at first that 'woah you werent going here because you can use the hotsprings again!' is a good choice, that is a good show not tell i think.

For now though the entire thing simply feels off because i feel like there's no stake at all for us. If kachina loses? Then she doesn't get sent to the war, thats kind of a good thing seeing how she did ended up 'dying'. We've met the archon but for some reason hasn't asked about our siblings or anything and the only reason we are staying is because its the right thing to do. Thats it. I think it's just... alot offered to us but none with actual value to the traveller personally.

While you can argue that fontaine is exactly like that, that we only stayed to help lyney with his trial and everything else because its the right thing to do. Lyney is fatui. Neuvillette is a dragon. And furina is an absent archon. Theres an air of mystery around how fontaine works and these people have MASSIVE connections. You almost want to stay to see how it'll turn up, what information will show up.

Natlan on the other hand revealed basically everything to us in the first 2 acts. Natlan gets abyss attacks because they dont have strong leyline connections. The fatui wants the gnosis and literally will just fight the archon for it. The archon is chill and kind and is the reincarnation of the original archon because we were told that. The facking traitor from night-wind is obviously the Ororon guy lmao. So what IS left to speculate? To look out for?

Like wow she's gonna carve us an Ancient Name? Why lmao. What for? We can purify the abyss we are not dying in the Night Kingdom.

Shrugs idk feel free to fight me on this. I am just a lil jaded because i literally cannot take the archon seriously when shes literally just called 'Archon' with no special title or anything

[flamebringer0]

More About Nightwing Powers

I decided I had more to say about this post, so I reblogged it and wrote some more. It seems like when you do that Tumblr doesn't put the post into tag searches, so nobody can actually find it. I'm just going to copy the full text into a new post. I'm sorry if this spams anyone's feed, I just don't understand how this site works yet. I've never actually had a blog before.

-----

Ohhhh damn I just had another thought about this. This is my problem, I think about this stuff all the time and I keep coming up with new things I think are cool, but now that I've written all this out and published it for the whole world to see I can't change it so easily.

It's actually fine though. These thoughts are kind of a mix of things I think are canon but sufficiently non-obvious to be worth stating (All Nightwings have powers at hatching and then lose them), things that are definitely not canon but I feel like it doesn't mess with the story too much to change them (Prophets have a silver scale on their foreheads), and things that are ambiguous and I'm just filling in the blanks (fake Nightwing magic is based on their sense of smell). But there's a fourth category, which is things that I don't like about canon but changing them would basically entail writing a whole new story. I'm pretty sure this new idea falls into the latter category, so I wouldn't really have put it in that post anyway.

But let's explore the hypothesis that Tui T Sutherland and Scholastic collectively lose their minds and give me the rights to Wings of Fire, and also I have infinite time, resources and motivation to make my own adaptation of the story. Then what happens? Well, the first thing is obviously to change animus magic to be something other than total omnipotence, because omnipotent characters are the kind of albatross (tee hee) you don't want around your neck when you're trying to write a coherent story. And the second thing is to make it so the terrible Rainwing queens in book 3 are hereditary royalty and Glory is not, because I've never liked the valorisation of hereditary royalty in WOF (or in general), and that would be an easy way to subvert that. And THEN I would turn scavengers into lizard people, because I am a furry and I think that's cuter than making them humans. Lol.

But somewhere down the list would be the fact that I don't actually vibe with the idea that normal Nightwing seers/mind readers apparently have a built-in power limiter that varies randomly according to the specific individual, and the special gift you get for hatching under three moons is just to have that limiter set to 0. I don't like this because, first of all, the fact that it works like that just doesn't fit into my brain in a satisfactory way. Hatching under zero, one, or two full moons each results in a qualitatively different outcome, so in my mind, the third full moon should also do something qualitatively different. But it doesn't, it's just the same as two full moons but better. And then I'm left to assume that there are probably very rare cases of twice-moonborn Nightwings who have all the power, just because whatever secondary factors there are happened to line up in their favor? Weird.

But the more important reason is, I don't really like the idea of Clearsight as someone who has extraordinary power because she just hatched that way. Nor do I like the fact that the reasons for this are, on the one talon, unexplained (maybe inexplicable?), and on the other, not a function of who she is as a character. I think it would make for a much stronger motif if run-of-the-mill seer Clearsight were able to take down once-in-a-generation chosen one Darkstalker because she's diligent and doesn't believe in destiny while he's entitled and sure of his glorious future. At its core this feeling is actually the same thing as what I said about the Rainwing queens above: I just don't find it satisfying when the hero has some kind of special trait that makes them naturally better than everyone else. A villain can have that, but a hero I want to prove themselves through their own efforts. But that's explicitly not what happened in canon: Clearsight IS naturally more powerful than all the other seers, that's an essential part of her story, and changing it requires basically rewriting the books. I don't love it!

So anyway in the universe where I'm rewriting the books, here's a thought about how Nightwing powers might work. This partially contradicts what I wrote above, but I've decided I'm cool with that. I love contradicting myself actually, and maybe next week I'll contradict all of this again. There are no laws.

Some Nightwings are seers, some are mind readers, a few are both, and most are neither. But aside from the fact that an individual might or might not have these powers, they don't vary in strength from dragon to dragon. All seers have equally strong abilities, and all mind readers have equally strong abilities. But the strength of the abilities does vary: not per individual, but over time. Specifically, the current state of the moons affects the abilities of empowered Nightwings. On a hypothetical "darkest night" with three new moons, all Nightwings are effectively powerless. On the brightest night, empowered Nightwings experience the full strength of their abilities. Seers can easily look down many different paths into the distant future, and mind readers can easily examine any information in the mind of another dragon. Of course, the phases of the three moons are not synchronous. Most of the time, the moons are all in different states, and empowered Nightwings experience abilities somewhere in between those extremes.

Above, I said that the "strength" of Nightwing abilities doesn't really vary per dragon. Strength, as I use the term here, only refers to the raw potential to look into the future or into another dragon's mind. But different individuals do have different levels of adeptness when it comes to applying their abilities. On the brightest night, any seer can look with relative ease into the far future, down multiple timelines, examining subtle ripples of possibility. The rest of the time, most seers can't use their abilities on that level, but a particularly adept one can get closer. What makes one seer more adept than another? Well, it's really just training. If you're someone who, for whatever reason, keeps looking into the future, over time you'll get better at it, just like anything you keep doing. This is what sets Clearsight apart from her peers. She isn't more blessed by the moons than them, because no seer is more blessed by the moons than any other. Clearsight just looks into the future all the time, to a degree nobody else does. She works harder on her visions than any other seer, so her abilities are more advanced than those of any other seer.

There is one exception to the maxim "no seer is more blessed by the moons than any other". The special gift of the thrice-moonborn is that they are exempt from the cyclical waning and waxing of power with the phases of the moons. They hatch on the brightest night, and its power soaks into them and becomes permanently part of them. And so, they live as if every night is a brightest night. They always have the potential to see the ripples that spread into many distant futures, and they can always pluck any information they want out of another dragon's mind. What other Nightwings may train and train for, these dragons do as easily as they breathe.

There are few Nightwings who never dreamed as dragonets about what it would be like to have hatched under three full moons. How different their lives could have been from those of the common powerless Nightwing, or even ordinary seers and mind readers! And not just directly because of what they could see: the thrice-moonborn are almost inevitably beloved by their tribe, showered with attention, and elevated to the highest strata of society. Wouldn't that be nice, think the dragons who could have walked that path but for something as meaningless as the sky under which they hatched.

It's unsurprising that many covet that life, but it's not entirely as pleasant as they imagine. The adulation that surrounds the most powerful Nightwings is instrumental. As laid out in excruciating detail just behind the eyes of smiling dragons, few love them for who they are; many more love them for what they are. They will never have any interaction with friends or family that isn't fundamentally shaped by the asymmetrical power dynamic implied by their abilities. It's easy for a dragon in that situation to become profoundly isolated, especially without support. But the brightest night comes so rarely that most Nightwings who receive its gift will grow up with neither peers, nor mentors who can relate to these experiences. That many ultimately respond in unhealthy, self-destructive ways is a given; that the self-destruction of such powerful dragons often also destroys those around them is a recurring tragedy in the history of the tribe.

But it's not inevitable. No dragon's fate is actually written in the stars or sealed by the moons. It's always possible to choose a different future.

[kienansidhe]

hi, im kienan! im the current host of the disaster hearts system. we are a korean american body with dissociative identity disorder and have had multiple diff hosts over the course of this blogs run. i or some variation of me have been host since around 2017-18ish. for transparencys sake, the body is 25+. do not ask abt age specifics please.

we are a survivor of csa trauma, parental abuse, religious and cult abuse, and generally very traumatized, and our experience of life is irrevocably colored by that lens.

we are disabled and unable to hold a job ever since we got long covid in april of 2020. we are fully dependent on our partners, working on our disability application, and still coming to terms with the reality of being probably permanently disabled.

unless otherwise specified it is probably some variation of kienan speaking.

-♡♡♡-

i, kienan, am queer and i prefer to be addressed by strangers with he/they/it or fae/faeself pronouns. i dont rlly care which of those you use, tho, no need to rotate or anything.

some other labels that generally describe me: nonbinary, transmasc, gnc, cuntboy, [redacted], [redacted], femme, femboy, genderweird, bi, aro/ace with a couple exceptions, sex favorable, kink obligate, freak, degenerate, pervert.

i currently have 4 partners, referred to here as prettyboyfriend, nesting boyfriend, girlfriend/daddy, and moirail.

no dni, i think theyre stupid and the only ppl i would not want to interact would not respect dnis anyways lmao. if i have a problem with you i will just say so or block you or whatever.

some of my beliefs and what to expect on this blog are under the cut.

i believe in rehabilitation and compassion, full stop. yes, even for those people. i think that othering and dehumanizing others sucks, that thoughts do not define you (yes, even those thoughts), and that the only thing that matters is your actions.

i think callouts are never helpful, ever. ive literally never seen one do anything helpful or good.

i try my best to interact with others in good faith, and i expect the same in return.

we were homeschooled in a cult and our education was heavily ~moderated~ to keep us brainwashed, and every time i think ive rooted out all the misinfo new stuff comes up. please be patient with me if i ask stupid questions, i literally am stupid. i have so much literal actual brain damage. i will do my best to be open minded, i rlly want to learn!

i believe that the best ways to combat csa are better sex education, breaking down the sanctity of the nuclear family, youth liberation (more legal rights and self advocacy for children), and not clogging child abuse report portals with fucking fictional art, jesus h christ.

medicalization of identities sucks. sysmeds, transmeds, im sorry youre miserable but thats not an excuse for trying to make everyone else miserable with you.

labels are only useful insofar as they help you connect with others like you and form solidarity in order to combat systemic oppression. if labels make you angry or miserable, consider not taking them so seriously.

its okay to just dislike ppl. its not always that deep. trying to come up with moral reasons to justify disliking ppl is rlly fucking catholic.

dont talk to me abt christianity. im aware that my trauma affects my ability to be compassionate in this area, so im staying in my lane. in fact probably dont talk to me abt religion in general.

im not a proshipper or an anti i touch grass <3, HOWEVER:

antishipping / purity politics / anti-kink / whatever you wanna call it, ppl equating fictional depictions of Obvious Bad Things with condoning, supporting, or normalizing them in real life are fucking stupid and have done unbelievable amounts of damage that has now reached far beyond fandom and kink circles. get a life, for fucks sake.

ppl who call themselves proshippers and then go around harassing antis are fucking stupid and have lost the original spirit of the term proship / anti-anti, which hinged around not harassing or harming others over fiction. get a life, for fucks sake.

just be kind. dont be a dick. treat others how you wanna be treated. we are all traumatized but thats not an excuse to be cruel. leave the world better than you found it.

youre gonna make mistakes. you just are. youre not perfect and also the world is complex. remember that you cant help everyone. try your best but dont lose yourself in the process.

art is everything. the act of creation is holy. more progress is made by creating -- building communities, making art, growing plants, building houses, building relationships -- than by tearing things down. there is probably a time and place for violence, destroying oppressive systems, bombing weapons factories, but if we arent creating a positive, healthy society alongside the destruction we are just leaving fertile ground for new oppressive structures to take root. create. create. create.

-♡♡♡-

many hosts has left a chaotic mess of tags on this blog but here are some we use pretty consistently:

#headspace: original posts. diary rambling, random thoughts, actual semi coherent opinions, anything

#my face: the body

#humans are good actually: reminders

#recovery things: mental health help

#important: there is so much stuff in this tag

#bookmark: too much here too lol

#feel better: just fluffy stuff

#vine: general funny video tag

#about, #me kin id, #i ghostwrote this post: stuff we relate to rlly hard + uquiz tags lol

#posts that are funnier when plural

[littleshadowlucy]

@voidbeau got it right, the inspiration for my last drawing of Argos was Possibly in Michigan! So they get a gold star ⭐️

More specifically this shot of it ⬇️

And because I am very happy with how it turned out, I wanted to talk about my art thoughts this time! :D

A little fact about when it comes to my artwork is that I draw it traditionally first before making it digital since it’s just easier for me, which means that these drawings can be in the making depending on my schedule and motivation, and this one took a while since I recently got a new job!

And while I was drawing this one I decided to go against having the flowers scattered around Argos since unfortunately flowers aren’t my strong suit and I didn’t want to repeatedly draw a single type of flower since I wouldn’t know what flower to choose so instead I decided to have Argos laying a flowerbed with things related to the series around him-

Now there are two obvious exceptions-

That being the barts spells and charms advertisement and the top left corner, so I’m going to explain why they’re there.

The flower in the top left corner is suppose to be a tuberose, though it’s probably not obvious since again, flowers aren’t my strong suit, the reason why it’s there is that apparently tuberoses can symbolize attraction, lust, and obsession for someone else, or the very least illicit and dangerous pleasures, and I thought it would perfect thing to add considering Mr. Plant and Argos’s relationship especially with the knife and letter we saw in Gardening with Argos 10 also scattered around!

While Bart’s spells and charms were added since Argos canonical has a shrine for Mr. Plant where he did manifestation to get Mr. Plant to think of him/want him and considering the fact that it’s hinted that they have other charms, I feel like Argos would have been the type of person to buy up their love charms if they have any and if he had access to it! Another fun fact, it was originally going to be an advertisement for Secret Admirer Mail since I fully believe that Argos was on the other end of the phone calls in that but decided to leave that idea for its own drawing in the future:)

Now Argos is holding three things, these being a photo of Mr Plant, a rose with noticeable thorns and the heart shop guy’s face

The rose is probably the easiest to explain since roses are the flower for romance, but I decided to make the thorns fairly noticeable to get the pain and pleasure symbolism, as well as every rose has its thorns symbolism, paired with a picture of Mr. Plant, it makes it obvious who those feelings are directed to

And I had Argos holding the head near his heart for the same reason, holding something close to your heart means that someone or something is very important to you, and I believe that it’s Argos’s most prized possession since when Mr Plant gave it to him, he realized that his feelings were returned and that’s when he and Mr Plant started dating

The soulmate flowers are there cuz when you think about it, it could honestly symbolize Plargos, atleast when looking at it with Argos in mind, Argos says that a soulmate flower would die if they don’t connect with another flower, and who was suppose to die in the series until their relationship came to save them? :)

the covetous flower is there since they just like Argos fr, atleast when it comes to Mr Plant, both of them are lovely to talk and they get attached and jealous fairly easily, I mean we never did see what the letter Mr Flower sent said 👀

Lastly the hearts around Argos are suppose to be the ones he got from the heart flower that he gives to Mr Plant, a continuous show of his love for him ❤️

Overall this was a fun art to draw and hopefully I can make more of these for y’all in the future, it feels my heart with such joy when people are enjoying my art, and it’s been such a godsend for my mental health

[i-need-of-a-hobby]

So we all know the theory that Gravity Falls, The Owl House and Amphibia take place in the same universe right?

its a pretty well know theory (even if you don't believe it) in all three fandoms but if you don't here's the gist of it:

so basically that theory is built off easter eggs, like willows dads having a book with Hop-Pops face on it

and references to the other shows like that entire Gravity Falls episode in Amphibia,

that imply that they’re taking place simultaneously, with gravity falls taking place in 2012 and TOH and amphibia taking place in 2019-2020 (without the covid the lucky bastards) with Camilla reading an article about a girl returning from a frog world in the season 2 finale of TOH

but that opens the door for a whole lot of inter-dimensional *shenanigans* and so many plot points i can and will argue reference and overlap with each other.

now theres the obvious similarities like how bills minions fit the description of beast demons from the owl house:

(ignore the circling its not my screenshot I found it on google)

and bill himself is on one of kings posters when he tries to teach Luz about demons:

Bill is also in the book that tells marcy about the calamity box:

a book I believe was written by ford since the cover says its by "Dr. P" (P-ines anyone?) and has eyes that look awfully familiar, which I think are a reference to either the cores eyes, the portal doors eye from toh, or Bills eye (and the fact that this eye symbol is so similar across shows feeds the theory that they're all in the same universe)

meaning the Bill is a semi-universal character/figure throughout the different realms

if the other realms (Bill's realm, the several Ford got trapped in, the Boiling Isles, and Amphibia) have access to each other, and Bill is as universal as he seems, he probably interacted with some citizens of those realms, and probably left a mark

now it's finally time for my personal take/add-in:

we never get an origin for the core 

or the newts relation to the core

we get an episode about Andrias's personal history and his individual relation to the core, and how he came to be the guy who manipulated and then stabbed a very vulnerable teenage girl, but it seems like the core has just been with the Leviathan lineage since at least before Andrias's dad (who's over a thousand years old since thats how old the flashback is)

so, what am I rambling about?

well, if bill, a dream demon, made his way to amphibia, the core might have been the newts attempt to artificially replicate his powers

NOW HEAR ME OUT: on top of being incredibly powerful once he’s released in gravity falls

he also has the power to go into other peoples minds and search their memories like he does to Stan in his very introduction

which is an awful lot like what the core tries to do, since Andrias says the core is the hive mind of a dozen of the greatest newt minds and when Darcy happens it has complete access to her memories

not to mention how when it talks to andrias what physically appears when it talks are it’s eyes, which is what changes on dipper and Blendin (time travel dude) when bill possess them

the amphibians (powered by the music box) were an incredibly advanced civilization capable of a lot of damage (as seen by the literal frobot army they created

so i don't think it would be crazy to say that when they (specifically the newts) saw what a being like Bill could do, they would try to replicate it.

Obviously, the core and Bills mind-jumping powers are not the same, which is a way I'd say the Amphibians failed: instead of popping in and out of peoples minds like Bill does, the core completely takes their minds, more like a parasite.

we don't know all the parameters since we know basically nothing about the other newts in the hive mind, other than that each mind shows up as an eye on the cores "head" before and after it possesses Marcy. and speaking of the girl, she has no control or consciousness (that we know of) while under the cores control.

but we do get one and a half-ish examples of people who are very aware of the cores presence in their mind (unlike Bill) but are physically controlling their own bodies (we think) (unlike Marcy) and those two are Andrias and his dad, who both communicate with the core more like it's just a very dangerous, intrusive thought.

so.... yeah...

idk how to end this but please reblog and tell me if you think im crazy or not-

[minsarasarahair]

My short thoughts about Yi Ren Zhi Xia (I Am Nobody) drama and the main characters

Zhang Chulan - I actually like their approach for drama Zhang Chulan. I like that they didn't made him super handsome. Just a normal funny pathetic dude. The thing with Chulan is he's more handsome personality-wise. I like it. He's the type of character that will grow to you and you will eventually find him cool. Also, Drama put his sealed in the body instead of his dick for censorship reason I guess?

Feng Baobao - She's also fine to me. She's still the cute weirdo we all love. I like that there are moments in the drama where she really look like she didn't comb her hair. I like her funny chemistry with Chulan.

Zhang Lingyu - I'm a little disappointed in his look. He looks like he's attending a cosplay fun event because its so obvious its a wig. Chulan destroyed the 4th wall and also said he looks like he's cosplaying lmao. I wish they made his hair black but still long hair or made the wig looks like its not a wig. You can't just copy everything from the manhua especially if the setting is modern world. Its fine for the red haired guy(the guy who talks with his mom in phone during his fight) or Xia He(his ex-gf) because it fits the personality but Lingyu who's stiff and serious to wear a wig look so out of place. Every time I see him I can't take his character seriously.

Wang Ye - This guy is perfect. I actually imagined Wang Ye as more older but this look is actually fine. Maybe because of his personality so I always imagine him more mature but in reality he's younger than what I expected.

Zhuge Qing - He's kinda different from his manhua look. Both are fashionable but in different sense. They have different fashion sense. Like Drama Zhuge Qing dress up with loose clothes while his Manhua/Donghua counterpart dress up with fit clothes? His blue hair highlight bother me in the beginning but he has a good chemistry with Wang Ye actor so I'm good now. But if I can say a suggestion, I wish they only give him a black hair extension instead. No need the blue highlight but its an artistic choice so whatever I guess.

The whole drama feels like the popular movies "Shaolin Soccer" or "Kung Fu Hustle" and because of that I actually enjoy it even if I watch only specific episodes and scenes. It has cool fighting scenes, CGI, and comedy. I like the funny faces/expressions of the actors. The best way to watch it is don't take everything seriously. Its kinda cringe but I can still endure it and actually entertaining. The old men cast aka the masters is also perfect I believe? I recognize one of the old man. He's the boat guy from Word of Honor I think? My only problem in this drama is probably the colorful wig and hair highlights because they made them look like cosplaying for fun and it destroyed my immersion in the story but that's just me. I got used to it though so that's that. The story is very close to the manhua and donghua. The visual of Wang Ye seeing a future about Chulan aka his reason why he joined the tournament is new tho? If I remember right, I know Wang Ye saw something but it was never revealed in the donghua the visual interpretation or what actually it is. Is that a new plot for the drama I wonder? And yeah, Wang Ye and other characters in donghua s2 was introduced earlier in the drama.

[crystalkleure]

I'm gonna be real for a minute, I should probably spit out the reason I've had such a hard time posting or interacting here for awhile.

I have DID. I made this blog before I knew I had DID, most of the people following me clicked that button before anyone knew I had DID, and the general public doesn't really know what DID is, much less that it's not anything like the "multiple personality disorder" in the movies.

My system has a huge number of introjects in it. I, me, the alter writing this right now, am an introject. This is actually pretty normal, especially for someone like me, because the nature of my abuse has meant that I have spent most of my life extremely isolated [very against my will], with far more exposure to media like TV shows and games than to real people. You know how the people in your dreams have the faces of real people you've seen at some point, because your brain isn't good at coming up with brand new faces on its own? It's a little like that. For the DID brain to incorporate a trait into an alter, it has to be aware that that trait can even exist, which means it has witnessed it somewhere before, and the deeper human subconscious is not super great at just instinctually telling the difference between a real person and a fabricated depiction of a person, so the DID can snatch traits it has witnessed in both real people and fake people all the same.

Sometimes the DID sees a lot of traits it registers as desirable, useful to survival somehow, etc., all in just one source, be it a real person or a depiction of a person. [Or it sees just ONE trait that it latches onto really hard, and splits an alter just to embody that specific trait it perceives as so important.] And so the system can end up splitting an alter that is nearly identical to the way they have perceived that singular source, meaning that alter can resemble that source person or character extremely closely. This is all done subconsciously and involuntarily, the system has zero control over it, alters have zero control over what they are made out of. An introject does not get to choose their source.

...And on a website full of fandom shit, if you post art you have drawn of yourself, an introject alter, people are going to think that art is depicting your source person/character. And if you say "Actually that's just me," they think you are a roleplayer. Because people don't know what DID is. Even if you say "I have DID, Dissociative Identity Disorder" they can just assume that's some kind of roleplayer lingo, or something irrelevant to the Obvious Roleplay that is happening, or some kind of condition the roleplayer is just choosing to write their played character to have, and won't bother to look it up.

And this causes some extremely unpleasant problems!

People squee-ing over you and talking about wanting to kiss or touch you or ship you with some character [or themself]

People trying to roleplay with you. Usually flirtatiously.

Oh this is a fun one. People thinking you are a roleplayer, and if your source is a character who is under 18 but YOU are an adult [I'm fucking 25 years old, for example, and I will act like it], they will call you a pedophile for "aging up" the character just to roleplay adult things with them. Even if you aren't doing anything sexual, the mere fact that you are being perceived as "aging up" a character will get you side-eyed, because people still think you're being dirty with the character and they figure they just haven't caught you at it.

This one just sucks and is nobody's fault. People who are fans of an introject's source may feel uncomfortable when interacting with that introject, because they worry all the fan shit on their blog will be taken personally by the alter and gross them out. Which, while that's not ever an issue with my system tmk, can kind of happen sometimes with some systems' introjects; even if an introject alter logically knows they aren't their source, they might have difficulties viscerally believing that on a deeper level, and either way it can still cause discomfort when you bump into depictions of someone who looks just like you doing things you would never want to do.

People understanding that you aren't roleplaying yet they still get way too excited and obsessive over you anyway, because they view you as "omg my favourite character...but REAL!!!1!" [Which is both incorrect, and VERY uncomfortable for the introject alter. I am not my source, I have never been my source, I am an entirely different person who happens to resemble my source. Don't try to get close to me based purely on the belief that I am somebody I am not, actually get to know me before you decide whether or not you like me.]

People screenshotting you and putting you on r/fakedisordercringe for everyone to mock and harass, because they don't understand how dissociative disorders actually work and think legitimate shit about them is too weird to possibly be real

People fakeclaiming you in general because "there's no way that's real, real things are not this bizarre" and/or "Yeaahhhh I think you're just schizophrenic/borderline/etc., nevermind that I am not a qualified medical professional, and if I AM, nevermind that you aren't my patient and I don't know enough about you based on your social media presence to actually be able to accurately diagnose you with anything, much less dismiss a diagnosis as insanely complex and covert as DID"

People generally treating you like a weird bug on the sidewalk that a group of middle school kids are taking turns poking with a stick. I don't mind answering respectful questions about dissociative disorders, but shit like "wtf why would you do that, I think that's weird and I am assuming it's intentional and it makes me uncomfy" and "Have you ever tried just Not being crazy?" are not respectful questions.

TL;DR introject alters in fandom spaces get sexually harassed, called pedophiles, and told they're doing something wrong and being inconsiderate for existing [which, again, existing the way they do was not their choice] because "you're weird and that makes me uncomfy :( Can't you just Not?? SURELY you can just Not. Be normal."

Shit sucks. I'm sick of my system getting weird and mean messages every time any of us are open about existing.

[mrs-monaghan]

Hey, Shaz! Hope you're doing well. This is the first time I'm showing myself around here. Love your posts.

I was thinking. Not only is yelling "BH ARE FORCING THEM TO DO FAN SERVICE/PR!" dismissing KM's relationship and Tae's free will to choose his own girlfriend, but it's also so disrespectful towards BTS as a whole and the other members individually. It's perpetuating the idea that idols are nothing but their company's toys and they're forced to do things they don't want to do, something BTS have been trying since pre-debut to prove wrong in their case. It's something Namjoon struggled with a lot back in the day because people loved shitting on his work, dismissing his status as a rapper and calling him an industry puppet. It was and apparently still is a problem. Saying that KM and Tae are forced to do fan service/PR stuff these days is no different than calling them tools, pawns, toys, liars. According to this logic, the BTS members are pretty fake because BH can totally force them to do anything and they're quietly following orders. They have no will of their own, they're being handled, even though they're unfireable millionaires and literally the breadwinners. (Now imagine Yoongi forced to do something. That man would probably set the company's building on fire before he allowed others use him for their benefit. I'm joking. I'm joking. Or am I?)

When we got into this Bangtan stuff, most of us stayed because of how genuine these men were. They were keeping it real, they were relatable, they were "just like us". People always talk about this in the community like it's their life motto. "BTS are genuine" left and right. It's something ARMYs are very proud of. But when it comes to KM the genuineness goes out the window. JM and JK are not genuine. They're feeding us lies. They're this and that. People claim they love them (or at least one of them if they're a hardcore TKer, although a lot of these individuals hate JK as well and it shows), but they're so quick to doubt and portray both JM and JK as awful people. Because if TK is real (which is not), KM are terrible friends to Tae and if I were a TKer and I saw JK in JM's business 24/7 I'd wish TK broke up to be honest. If they have other secret relationships (which they don't), they're being horrible boyfriends to their partners when they suck and bite each other's ear and neck, flirt in broad daylight, hold hands, go out and have fun just the two of them all the time, talk until morning, come together, leave together, joined at the hip and are overall extremely Romantic Couple™.

KM apart, I'm writing this for very specific people, but y'all don't deserve any of these men. Clearly, you don't respect them or their decisions. You don't trust them and you don't believe in their autonomy. You think they're just BH's marionettes. At this point I really don't understand why some of you are stanning them. You obviously don't like BTS.

Idek what chapter 2 has become. People like me who became Armys last year it was literally such bad timing to join the fandom. I wouldn't be shocked if some people just turned around and left. Ever since solo projects were announced its been a fucking mess. And from what I gather while the vermin were many they never used to be as vile as they are now. Chapter 2 just seems to have made them worse.

When BTS were still doing ot7 stuff it was easy to think we were all ot7. (Well, apart from solos who make that pretty obvious) But these big, big accounts got away with pretending to be ot7 back then. But now with members doing shit one at a time people are showing their true colors and it has not been pretty.

I envy people who support BTS on the surface. People who are only subscribed to BTS official accounts and only listen to their music and watch their reality shows then go about their day. Those people know peace. 😂 Ignorance is bliss y'all.

Stay strong Jikookers. Stay strong. It's gonna be alright. I promise 😘

[cigaretterivals]

DSMP Rivals and Fighting Game Archetypes

Also relating to the last post because now I have fighting game brainrot, its been a handful of years since I was more interested in a few of them but I've always been a sucker for the character archetypes

You already have plenty of locations that you can choose from for the maps considering the entire dsmp map is your oyster in that regard. Community house, L'manburg, Las Nevadas, Artic Commune, etc etc you get what I mean. Pandora's Vault could definitely be thrown in there as well and whether its inside or outside would be up to how much room exactly you would need but I think main cell could be feasible imo

I'm not the most WELL versed in the actual specific archetypes, also because some characters are either super niche or feel like they could overlap multiple archetypes (and the websites im looking at are bombarding me with ads) so we're gonna take all this in a lighthearted fun way okay? perfect, anyway

c!Dream is either a rushdown archetype OR hes hit & run. I'm more inclined to say rushdown soley for the fact that Dream feels very much like he would come with a moveset that rewards juggling your opponent with long complicated combos. He would probably have a good reset ability, and his character would be the reason the game has a burst mechanic so that you don't get stuck in an endless loop of getting your ass kicked (unless you get baited into that burst which is the worst thing ever esp when you can practically hear the clown music in the background)

However combos can't last forever, and to keep things fair, his heavy hitters would most likely be something that launches his opponents away from him. Dealing stronger damage, but also giving the opponent a chance to regroup away from his onslaught until rushdown characters do what they do best

I'm inclined to say he probably wouldn't have a projectile move, if it worked with his kit he could have one maaaaaaaybe two as a treat, but for the most part his utility comes out of getting up close and personal. Aka he would not be having a fun time against zoning characters

Special move wise I can't think of many specifics right now, but for almost all of the characters they would probably be references just cause I think that's fun. One of them would have to be related to the revive book because how could it not be, and the others could even be references to some of his best manhunt moments if you're in the camp that believes manhunt is canon to the dsmp (which I personally am)

c!Techno is a bit trickier because his fan interpretation really depends on whether or not you picture him as a hybrid with a more human appearance OR if you go full piglin/hoglin. You could also have your "both is good" moment by having him start off with the more human looking hybrid form and have his Piglin form be one of his special abilities. Going with that version though would most likely make Techno an Install archetype (or even Stance? Listen these ones were too complicated for me in case it wasn't obvious yet I played characters that either hit fast or hit hard)

But Stance or Install aside, I'm a bit torn on his actual moveset/ combo ability. Techno often tanks a lot of hits because he makes up for his physical lack of a shield by use of potions to keep him up and running and increasing his damage output (which could fit into the Stance archetype if he had a move that essentially let him power up by giving him a potion ability? Or would that be more like a Charge character?)

Giving him a secendary archetype after Install/Stance he would probably be a Punisher or Reversal or whatever the archetype is called for when he's stuck in a block chain but the second the opponent fucks up and drops that chain he's able to jump on that oppurtunity and absolutely ruin the other persons day. I also like how it feels like it plays well into his "I shall repay that injustice a thousand times over." general vibe. Not a defensive fighting style, but one that does play more into countering an ongoing attack vs being the one immediately on the offensive. While his combos would deal a lot of damage, to balance that out I would say he doesn't have good juggle/reset ability so he eventually needs to back off to recoup and wait for his next moment of oppurtunity.

Special moves again not really sure, like the most my brain can come up with right now is him absolutely chucking a human sized potato into his opponent. Other than that his 3-5 meter special could also be wither related

c!Tubbo is a zoner you can't tell me that little shit is not spamming the HELL out of the stage with bombs and mini nukes and bees and who knows what else tell me I'm wrong.

If I get more fighting game thoughts for any of the other characters I'll probably be back but thats all for now k thanks <3

[musicalrecs]

Here's a different kind of ask: what's a musical (or musical song) that you used to love but, since you learned about about it or the topic it covers, just can't enjoy anymore?

Or conversely, what's a musical (or musical song) you used to ignore/despise, but as you got older or gained a new perspective, it became very important to you?

Thought this blog could also be used with discussion prompts, so let's give that a go. :) Feel free to send in your own asks of this sort as well!

Regarding this specific topic, it came up recently for me as I was listening back to back to Spongebob and Bright Lights, Big City (as you do).

Spongebob is a joyous musical and I still love it to pieces, but these days I can't help but get melancholy during "(Just a) Simple Sponge." Spongebob sings this lovely song about how he has many talents and believes in himself and that he's going to do something about that volcano, and the choreography is the kind of ingenuity on stage that makes me adore musical theater.

Why melancholy? Because no matter how wonderful Spongebob proves himself or how obvious his management skills, Mr. Krabs is never going to give him the restaurant, and probably won't even promote him. It's just too realistic.

Bright Lights, Big City used to be my go-to musical for "ugh, everything is ridiculous and against me and why can't my life just be easy" musical (yes, despite/because of its unabashed lyrics praising drugs and sex to escape your problems), but ever since I realized the musical is basically just Jamie feeling betrayed because the women providing emotional labor to him went away and the happy ending is him finding a new (young, student) woman to tell him how great he is, I've soured on it.

Silly, isn't it? A musical has as many problems as BLBC does and it's the (lack of) feminism that eventually makes me turn away. (Not all the way, of course, for all that the plot is firmly "pity the poor cishet white boy destroying his own life" it's got some absolute banging numbers, including from the women.)

But hey, let me end on a positive note. When I was much younger, two songs I always skipped when they came on the Broadway radio mix I listened to (this was the late '90s, early experimental internet radio) were "Ladies Who Lunch" (Company) and "Welcome to Kanagawa" (Pacific Overtures). They not only left me cold, I didn't even think they were very good songs. More like not-great talking, am I right? (Look, I was a teen.)

Now that I'm adult, however, the way they both build to their triumphant ends has me vibrating in my chair. I now understand just what these songs mean, and get the sly jokes. I feel the tension in the melodies that I never could before, and it makes the entire musicals better for it.

So, how about you, Musical Reccers? How has your relationship to a musical or song changed over the years?

[leonsrightlations]

The Earth is Online Chapter 15.1

(Under cut to prevent spoilers.)

“Your first words were, ‘I am also not a stowaway.’ This sentence is saying, ‘the previous person and I are the same. Neither of us are stowaways.’”

The young woman’s whole face was covered in tears. She unceasingly shook her head in denial.

Tang Mo said, “According to the current situation, without a doubt, the probability of me being a stowaway is the lowest. Next is him, then him.” He pointed one by one to Li Bin and Luo Fengcheng.

He raised his head. “However, there’s no person we can be certain definitely isn’t a stowaway. There’s also a possibility that I’m a stowaway. But your first words just acknowledged that the chef who spoke before you isn’t a stowaway. The one who knows for sure that the chef isn’t a stowaway is only the stowaway themself.”

The young woman’s body shivered and she didn’t stop wiping her tears, but now there was no one who would again dare to approach and console her.

No matter how weak her outward appearance was, she had been a murderer all along.

Li Bin also sharply nodded. “That’s right. When I heard you say what you said, I felt that there was something fishy. Regarding what happened during those three days, you remember it the clearest and can even declare specific times. You definitely made up this lie early on to be able to make such a smooth declaration.”

This point was very obvious. As soon as Li Bin pointed it out, Li Wen and the other two with him [1] were all suddenly illuminated.

“So it’s like this! You’re definitely a stowaway. Such a small child can really go as far as killing someone? That’s too awful.”

The young woman was still working hard to make excuses. “I haven’t…” But after wailing a few sentences, she seemed to also feel she couldn’t make people believe her again, and gave up struggling. She didn’t speak again and only continued to weep.

Paying no attention to the cook’s lament, Tang Mo said, “Mr. Luo, do you think this guess is correct?”

Luo Fengcheng had always been standing at the side not speaking. When Tang Mo suddenly steered the topic in his direction, he only rhetorically asked, “Do we now still have to guess who the stowaway is? You don’t need to mention other clues. These two points are already enough to prove who the stowaway is. It’s just that I’m quite curious… Who did you kill?”

Everyone’s gazes all turned to the young woman.

No matter how many tears there are, they will eventually run dry, but people’s fears won’t disappear.

In the corner of the underground cavern, the big mole rustled as it dug, whistling a sharp, mocking tune. It took out a piece of bloody meat from who knows where and chewed on it with its big mouth, its tiny eyes surreptitiously looking at the seven people. The young woman fearfully shivered, unable to cry anymore. She looked to Lin Qiao in search of help. Lin Qiao was still soft-hearted and couldn’t bear it, turning her head so that she wasn’t looking at the young woman. What the eye doesn’t see, the heart doesn’t grieve. [2]

After a good long time, a hoarse voice softly sounded.

“You have all decided that I’m a stowaway? Yes, I killed him. But that can’t be considered murder. It absolutely can’t!” The young woman lowered her head. No one could have imagined that the young woman whose voice was ice cold like steel was the one who had just now been weeping pitifully. She raised her head. “Can that be considered murder? I gave him life!”

The voice of one who had been forced into desperate straits resonated in the cave, shrill and ear-piercing.

At this time, many of them remembered. This young woman seemed very thin and weak and her expression was also very bad, but just because she looks petite doesn’t mean she was an ignorant child. She wasn’t little. **[3]**

Tang Mo frowned in astonishment. This answer completely went beyond his expectations. Without waiting for him to speak, Luo Fengcheng already said, “You didn’t eliminate your parents?”

A mournful, helpless expression flitted across the young woman’s face. “How can I eliminate my mom and dad? They’re so good to me. The one I eliminated…it’s that thing that shouldn’t have been born!”

Her answer was abundantly clear. This time, even the cook, who was the least clever of them, understood.

The young woman said in an ice-cold tone, “You all say that I lied, but it can’t actually be called lying. I didn’t need to make up those words, because for the past three months, I’ve lived this kind of life. I was cheated by a scumbag and accidentally became pregnant. The doctor said it had been more than seven months and I couldn’t have an abortion. It was very possible that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to have children again afterward, and my life might even be in danger. I absolutely didn’t want that child. But my mom said she didn’t want me to regret it afterward and also didn’t want me to take that kind of risk. The child would be raised by them. They had me give birth to that thing.”

The young woman raised her tear-stained face, her line of sight sweeping past each and every person.

“I’m not as smart as you and I don’t have any use to you, but I only want to live well. To live my life. During those three days, I was hospitalized. On the evening of the second day, I gave birth to that thing.”

Tang Mo’s eyes flashed.

Actually, in the young woman’s words, there had been another two obvious gaps.

One of those was that she said her mom didn’t care about the Black Tower problem. If her mom really didn’t fear the Black Tower, why did she say, on the evening of the second day, that phrase, ‘don’t be afraid?’ What was there to fear from the Black Tower?

This was a contradiction from beginning to end.

Tang Mo initially thought the young woman was lying and not doing a good job of it. Now it seemed that this phrase, ‘don’t be afraid,’ was said so that she would be unafraid and do her best to give birth to the child. No matter what happened later, don’t be afraid of any of it.

“So long as you’re good, I’ll be fine.” This was her mom that, as a mother, she would spare no effort to protect her child. She wouldn’t let her child land in desperate straits.

The young woman’s expression was vicious but her eyes still flashed with a thread of regret and reluctance. Her tone was resolute. “That evening, he was crying. I couldn’t sleep and couldn’t stand it… I eliminated him. He absolutely shouldn’t exist!”

Lin Qiao couldn’t help but say, “You didn’t have to give him life, but you gave him life. He had the right to live.”

“He was going to ruin my life! I’m not even married!” [4] The young woman’s eyes saddened and turned red.

Tang Mo flatly said, “He was just born.”

The young woman suddenly choked and silently lowered her head, not speaking again.

This truth was different from what Tang Mo had imagined. He originally thought the young woman had killed someone by accident, most probably her parents. Because she was barely an adult and was too naive, she wasn’t burdened with the feeling that she had killed someone, and all the things she’d said were lies. The truth was that she detested that child, so even when she was exposed, she completely lacked remorse or panic.

The cook excitedly wrung his hands. “So we found the stowaway, right? We don’t need to die, right? That big mole wants her, not us.”

These words were a bit unpleasant. Li Bin knit his brows. “En, she already admitted that she’s a stowaway.”

Tang Mo said, “What is your ability? Stowaways and official players are the same. They all definitely have abilities.”

The young woman had previously almost been grabbed by the big mole to be eaten up and she hadn’t displayed her ability.

Tang Mo thought about it and said, “Does it have something to do with that flashlight?”

The young woman wiped the tears on her face. “You want to know what my ability is?”

Not only Tang Mo, Luo Fengcheng also said, “It should have something to do with the flashlight.”

The young woman clenched her fingers and suddenly gave a strange laugh. “Yes, I’m a stowaway. You want to deliver me to that mole? My mom died, my dad died, I also have to die…don’t any of you think about living either!”

In an instant, a huge match appeared in the young woman’s palm.

It might be because she had just given birth, but even though she had an ability and her constitution had increased, she was still very short and thin. The match was practically half as tall as her. She brandished the big match and rushed toward everyone, first charging at the cook who had just then taken delight in her misfortune and wanted her to go die.

“I’ll kill you! If I die, don’t even think about living!!!”

[PREV] [TOC] [NEXT]

Important footnotes this time please read them!!!!! Scroll down to **[3]** and beyond if you don't want to read anything else.

Half a chapter this week and next week. Potentially the next two weeks as well. Unfortunately, I work in retail and it's the holiday season (among other things). I just don't have the energy to do a full chapter each week at the moment. ):

Character Refresher:

Li Bin (李彬), 29, male, works at a PR firm.

Peng Yu Wen (彭玉雯), 18, female, first year of university. Small, looks like a junior high student.

Tang Mo (唐陌), 23, male, librarian. Our protagonist! :D

Li Wen (黎文), 25, male, unemployed. A foolishly sweet second generation who plays around with female celebrities!?!?

Lin Qiao (林巧), 20, female, university student, Gamer.

Zhao Xiang (赵翔), 32, male, former chef.

Luo Fengcheng (洛风城), 28, Black Tower researcher, wears glasses and looks refined.

Uncle Mole (鼹鼠叔叔), a cute mole who is eating melon seeds meat and wishing a Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate! ^_^

Translation Notes:

[1] 黎文三人 - lit. Li Wen’s three people, i.e. the group of three people headed by Li Wen. This should be referring to Lin Qiao and the cook.

[2] 眼不见为净 - lit. what’s unseen is clean

(jk Lin Qiao's too nice for that)

**[3]** This is an important translation note so I put asterisks next to it. Comparing this paragraph to the original online text cleared up a lot of things that were confusing me about this whole arc both because of the text itself and my memories of reading TEIO the first time. It felt weird to me that the published version kept referring to her as a little girl even though she’s eighteen and only two years younger than Lin Qiao. The text also kept calling her a junior high student and Luo Fengcheng even implies that her lack of reaction stems from her innocence as a child. Can an eighteen year old university student still be called an ignorant child who doesn’t understand what murder is?? I also remember being way less suspicious of her the first time I read the novel and I like to think I’m at least a LITTLE bit harder to trick…

However!!!!!

It turns out that she’s eighteen in the print version and was fifteen in the original text. This makes the entire way she’s viewed by the other characters and spoken about by the narrator make way way way more sense. I intend to go back and edit the ‘young woman’s into ‘little girl’s to preserve the author’s original intention. I haven’t decided whether I’ll go back and alter the age back to the original yet. Feel free to comment if you have an opinion. I think it’s pretty obvious that this change was made due to censorship (the reasons for which should become clear in the rest of this chapter) and not as a late stage edit by the author to better suit the text. 

[4] Just reiterating the above footnote by saying that her original response is that her life would be ruined because she is only fifteen. This also makes Tang Mo’s following retort make a lot more sense. “Maybe you are only fifteen, but he was just born.” <- is the original subtext.

[further footnote] There are additional changes throughout this part of the text that really bring home the point about her age. For example, when the official print version says 'she's barely an adult' the original text says that fifteen isn't that young and that she's almost an adult. There are also additional details about her relationship with the father of the child and his responsibility in the situation. Also, rather than the way the print version insists on referring to her actions as 'elimination,' she directly says she smothered the baby with a pillow. :|

So...uh...

See you next week!

[shark-myths]

Hello! I was feeling the urge to tinhat about peterick and I pretty much consider you the one place to go to for that. I'm thinking about a lot right now, thanks to the amazing wealth of lyrics that Pete has gifted us (there has not been such a consistent reference to "summer" since ABAP and I'm losing my mind over it a little bit), but the main thing I'm thinking about is that "I just need someone to hold me even though you don't even know me" can only be about Patrick. Why? I'm glad you asked! I can back it up. For one, this harks all the way back to Hold Me Tight or Don't which is, for obvious reasons, peterick coded. Not only that, the "hold me" motif is used again in Hold Me Like A Grudge, which makes that song even more strongly linked to peterick, even disregarding the insanity of "twenty summers" (which I am not disregarding, by the way). So that's the "hold me" bit of that original line covered. There's also the latter bit, the "you don't even know me," which, yeah, doesn't seem very peterick-y, not in the way we like to think of them, but I will point out "part time soulmate, full time problem" and "you don't know me anymore" are also lines in this album that point to being Patrick-related (for the latter, because I don't believe the former needs much justification, something about the house Pete grew up in and its relation to Chicago and thus its relation to Patrick) (I would say I was reaching here, but I've gathered that's basically how Pete's brain works, so let's call it a reasonable assumption?).

Additionally, and more in appreciation of Pete's writing than any specific shippy thing, I'm a big fan of "if you put your heart in it then we'll do more than just get by together" because it sounds a lot like that last phrase could be "get together," and there's a lot on this album about missed opportunities/parallel universes/etc.

One more thing (I'm just rambling now, sorry) but the scar/star crossed lovers line is really just a bit of genius. It's almost a wink towards the listener, not just at the twist of the phrase but also because there's been so many instances of the star motif and space in general in the lyrics that I feel like it has to be a nod towards the instances when cosmic objects have been referenced (such as in The Last of the Real Ones).

Okay that's probably enough for one ask lol. I look forward to part two of your presentation!

YES 👏🏽 YES 👏🏽 YES

I have nothing coherent to add because you are nailing it and this record has me in shreds

tinh@ me always ((is that too dumb? yes)), it’s what I live for, keep it coming!!!

[dyandyan0]

two month and two week check-in? 11.12.2024

i can't believe the year is already coming to an end. i feel conflicted about how this year went, i think for the most part i have few regrets and still have a positive outlook for the future for myself. that isn't to say that i haven't had my moments. i do feel though, at this moment specifically, over something a bit stupid and predictable, that i have improved sosososososo much in terms of coping and acceptance than 2022. i am no longer crashing out over things that were pretty obvious from the start. i mean i still have feelings but i'm only human and so is everybody else.

no more being vague though, its been a week since the election. 12 years of trump in politics during my formative years has given me a very bleak perception of politics and the state of the world. i think a factor as to why i'm a bit more numb to other peoples actions lately is because i have been tending to compare my trivial problems to actual problems that people face in this country and the world. i know that probably isn't good from a therapists viewpoint, despite people going through harder times i shouldn't just ignore my own feelings, but in some ways i have to just see it as i gotta be grateful i live in a place where i don't feel like my rights are being super threatened (california for clarification). i was so overwhelmed post election on thursday i started to cry in my car. i fr shed liberal tears. i think it was totally valid though because here's a secret: a part of me is starting to really hate men. and not in a i've been burned by guys in relationships in the past way, because i'm a firm believer that girl's can just be just as bad when it comes to romance, but i was just feeling so sick with how the election turned out. i cried because i remembered myself in middle school, learning about abortion laws and practicing pro-choice debates to advocate for women's healthcare during a time where it didn't even seem like it was even really being threatened. i cried because i have so many friends and women that i have met that have personally shared stories to me of being sa'd and harassed. i cried because i have my own experiences. and now our president is a man who has openly said he would have relations with his own daughter, a man who comfortably said he could just grab women by the pussy, a man who has not one, not two, but 26 sa allegations against him? we're telling our daughters that all that doesn't matter, you can still become the president of the united states despite having that type of character. what does that tell our already red-pilled brain rotted sons? that we can look up to that kind of behavior? that they can get away with it?

i already cried over it, so i'm not going to again, i know that people out there are trying hard to have high hopes despite the outcome of the election. of course i don't think it's the end of the world. i'm just sad. i'm sad that we treat women so badly. i'm sad that we can't just go out alone without having to be hyper-aware of our surroundings. it's hard to feel empowered as a women when all men do is find ways to knock us down. FUUUCCK nick fuentes

i'm genuinely, in every way possible, so thankful for the friends i have made up to this point. i think i said it before here, but it's easy to take their care and concern for granted when you're caught up with life and other relationships. i hung out with motus, len, and andy on sunday night and while we kept clowning him for it, motus got shitfaced and kept repeating how much he 'needed this' and was happy he was being reunited with us. it was seriously the most fun i've had in awhile, and with people that i love dearly. those two literally were my ride or dies end of high school/ early college and quarantine, and i feel as though if i hadn't have had them during my lowest points then i really really don't know where i'd be. the three of us haven't gathered in years at this point because we've all been moving all over the place and getting caught up in work and school, but hanging out with them felt like i was in high school again (in a good way)

so to conclude, i think things will be alright for me, despite passing feelings that the world is falling apart around me.

last quick note, i really thought my attention span was cooked, but i spent all my free time reading this weekend. i finished whered you go bernadette (~350 pg), a book thats been sitting on my shelf for years, in one sitting. it was super fun to read, and i thought it was a sweet story. it was a lot more fun for me to read too because it's based in seattle and i understood a bunch of references regarding that. spoilers though, the only complaint i have about the book was the affair apart. because like why. i think ppl on reddit were also just like they could've voided that part and it still would've been just as good. i feel like the consensus with characters in media cheating is that the character feels irredeemable, which is true imo. i remember reading somewhere that both chandler from friends and jim from the office were supposed to have cheating storylines, but fought against them because they were like i don't think the audience is going to see them the same anymore. they were right for that

i also started tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow. i got half way through and it's amazing so far. i'm just kind of scared cause everyone's saying how sad it is in the end. i'll probably talk about it when i finish it.

i don't know if i'll remember to update before the year ends, i leave for the philippines on dec 15 so we'll see!