#probably my first ask about bojack

[homunculusalphonse]

Ever wonder how much the fandom rooted for Princess Carolyn to find her well deserved happiness and how she was too good for Bojack? It’s pretty much contrasts with how the fandom treats Diane and how angry they are with how she didn’t appreciate Mr. PB even though it’s been spelled out clearly on the show that he wasn’t an attentive husband. Then again I don’t see anyone in the fandom ever trying to tear down Princess Carolyn.

Yeah, I've seen folks sometimes ignoring Princess Carolyn as a character, but I rarely see anyone outright HATING her, because like you said, we all agree that she deserves better than BoJack, her mother, and every other bad thing she went through.

I think there are a few things people don't understand about Diane. One is her trauma, which isn't like BoJack's or Princess Carolyn's. I think Diane's trauma had a more emotional impact on her, as in her family never listens to her and they often treat her like she's being almighty and preachy ("Oh, Princess Diane making everything about herself again"). That, and the "Cryane" videos, where her brothers film her crying when she found out her pen pal wasn't real. They're more emotionally neglectful and what we know as bullies, hence why people don't take the damage seriously. Even Diane probably thought that her trauma was "not as bad" as others, especially as she couldn't give examples or proof that her childhood was bad (and the brain often blocks memories to protect ourselves).

And even a non-abusive and well-meaning partner like Mr. Peanutbutter didn't respect or understand what Diane wanted. Despite her telling him over and over again that she doesn't like big gestures, Mr. Peanutbutter continued to do so. Maybe in his head it makes sense after his failed marriages, but that doesn't erase the fact he didn't listen to Diane, besides him projecting his exes onto her. Mr. Peanutbutter often gave her superficial acts of love, hence the recreation of Belle's room. He didn't bother getting real books, for that matter. Maybe it wasn't a public gesture like the previous times, but he still tainted Diane's comfort fantasy. And once again, he reinforces, even if unintentionally, that Diane's vulnerability will turn against her or humiliate her.

Finally, I think it's unfair for the fandom to compare Mr. Peanutbutter and Diane to PC and BoJack, because BoJack was an actual asshole to PC, who went through hell and back for him even when they weren't dating anymore. Mr. Peanutbutter and Diane were more incompatible than anything, and people overlook Diane's trauma because they see BoJack's, PC's or Beatrice's, and they just believe she's whining. But as someone who has a similar trauma experience to Diane's, it's still painful and lonely. And it's hard when you don't have any physical proof of the bad things that happened to you.

[anontheghost]

So... What is the deal with Blitz's and Moxxie's upbringing?

Let's start by saying the obvious: Blitz’s and Moxxie’s families are almost exact mirrors to each other: They both have terrible, greedy fathers who just enjoy making their lives miserable and amazing dead mothers who we know nothing about except their cause of death and how much they are missed by their sons. 

The only significant distinctions are that Moxxie's story is splattered with glossy mafia paint and that his mother was drowned while he was still a very young child. On the other hand, Blitz's mother, Tilla, died when he was a teenager and was burned to death. The rest? Pretty much the same.

However, the similarities between their backstories are not really the problem; after all, in real life, we can find people who lived through similar traumas and that is a pretty interesting aspect to explore in fantastical stories as well. 

Many other shows have done it incredibly well (Bojack Horseman) but Helluva Boss failed in that department. 

The very interesting family dynamics were only bought at the surface level, not explored in any meaningful way except to give the characters “cheap trauma moments” that could potentially get ruined by either the insertion of out of place comedy or never mentioned again. 

How am I supposed to treat Crimson’s abuse of Moxxie as something serious when the minute before dildos popped out the walls for a joke? How did Blitz’s guilt over the fire and his mother’s death truly affect his relationships—romantic or otherwise? Was it all just a narrative plot to drag the Stolitz charade for as many episodes as possible? Heck, we do not even see Blitz and Mooixe interact more about their shared trauma! Or about how much they missed their mothers.

It is a little depressing because, despite knowing nothing about Moxxie and Blitz's mothers, we, the viewer, are expected to care about them and see their significance. Instead we are left with a million questions that will probably never have an answer. 

Were they really good parents or are their sons only remembering the good parts of their relationship because they are dead? 

How did they truly influence their kids? Did Moxxie’s love for musical theater come from his mother? Did Blitz’s fascination for horses be because of Tilla or was it someone else?

How was their relationship with their husbands and why did they stay even after the marriage went south? What brought them together in the first place? Because, in all honesty, both couples just don't seem compatible in any way, that one just can help but ask how did everything worked.

Sadly, we can only speculate. 

So, without further due, these are my speculations. Part of the great rewrite that I am doing of the series. Because sometimes terrible writing decisions just move my creative juices in the right direction. 

Tilla and Cash Buckzo.  “I do love you, as much as I am capable of loving anyone, which is never enough.”

What would have happened if Princess Carolyn and Bojack Horseman ignored all the red flags in their relationship and chose to get married anyway? That wouldn’t have been good, but that is exactly what happened to Tilla and Cash Buckzo—the result was a messy marriage where love could not overcome their different views on life and incompatible personalities.

So... why did they stay in a marriage that was not working? Simple, a divorce would mean financial ruin for both of them.

Let me explain. 

(Worldbuilding note: How marriage functions and how people in Hell generally view it is one aspect of the Hellaverse that truly baffles me. To avoid confusion, each ring in this revision will have its own set of marital norms and perspectives.)

(In the Greed Ring, marriage is nothing more than another business transaction and is treated as such. Two individuals may absolutely hate each other, but if the marriage will benefit them economically, then they will go through with it.)

The sole compelling argument for Cash and Tilla's marriage was that it was the wisest course of action to maintain and save their respective livelihoods. Imps are not permitted to own companies (as I stated in the Stolitz Non-Romance rewrite.) and in the Greed Ring, Mammon owns ALL of the entertainment industry (circuses included) and he will not hesitate to shut down a circus if it is not bringing the profit.

The small circuses Cash and Tilla were supervising were on the brink of bankrupsy, so what better solution than to marry each other and combine their assets? It will give them more time to survive.

In hindsight, their plan worked perfectly; Tilla and Cash were able to build up themselves financially, and using their combined business talents, they were able to expand their new big renovated circus and turn in a profit that would keep Mammon off their backs. 

They were great business partners, but as a couple, they lacked a lot. 

They did occasionally have tender moments, but they were squandered by arguments, lengthy silences, and extremely uncomfortable dinners. At one point, they even began sleeping in different beds, just to avoid fighting. Everybody who knew them could see that they were just not good for each other and could barely tolerate the other presence.

This begs the question: How did they manage to have Blitz and Barbie?

The decision to have a kid was straightforward and, like their marriage, based on business. They wanted a successor to take over their responsibilities when they died, as it was something now needed as the circus grew. So one night, they decided to get drunk and just get it over with.

But, to the surprise of themselves and everyone else, Tilla and Cash were their best selves throughout the pregnancy. 

During those four months that the pregnancy lasted, Cash and Tilla acted like a happy couple, anxiously waiting for the arrival of their beloved baby. They no longer fought; they were just too busy happily imagining a future where the three of them would be happy while preparing for their child.

Maybe everything would be okay; their relationship could only get better from now on, right? Once their beautiful little girl arrives, they will be a complete family of three with no intentions of adding more. 

Yikes.

In their defence, there are few medical facilities available to imps, and when they attended the controls, the physicians informed them that they would only be having one child, Barbie.

Their budget and plans were severely ruined by Blitz's unexpected arrival because they were only ready to provide full care for one baby, not two. If Mammon kept the majority of the profits, how would they be able to buy two of everything? 

They would endure a long period of hardship and didn’t they enter this marriage to prevent just that?!

Tilla, being the mother and the one who gave birth, accepted this change, promising to love both children equally; sadly, Cash didn’t.

It didn’t take too long before they started fighting again, even if it was in front of their kids. As you can imagine, growing up with parents who fought even for the most minimal of problems leaves a long-lasting impression on a child and how they will handle their own relationships in the future. 

To this day, Barbie still has problems telling her girlfriends when something is wrong or is upsetting her. On the other hand, Blitz gets overwhelmed when he notices things going south in a relationship and leaves it all together. 

Things didn’t really improve much as the twins grew up. 

Sure, the family had their relative moments of peace, but Cash only paid real love and attention to Barbie, being the child he really wanted while completely ignoring Blitz. Tilla, upset about this but knowing that Cash won’t change, tried to give more attention to her son, accidentally ignoring her daughter’s needs.

Yes, Tilla was not a “perfect, angelic mother," canon portrayed her as. If anything, she was a little bit overbearing when it came to Blitz, as she felt she needed to make up for his father’s abandonment. She genuinely believed that Barbie didn’t need her as much, and the girl liked to spend more time with her father anyway, who needed to train her to take over the circus.

At this point, their family was divided into two separate families that just happened to live in the same house: one consisted of a kind but overprotective mother and her son; the other, a strict but understanding father and his daughter/heir. The only point in which Tilla and Cash interacted was when they worked on the circus, or when they were fighting for the most minimal things. 

Their family dynamic was mostly like that... until Tilla died.

Blitz remembers only the good moments he spent with her, looking at her actions and life with rose-colored glasses of love. For him, Tilla was the perfect mother who basically could do no wrong. 

However, if you ask Barbie, she’ll say that while she is sad that her mother passed away, she is unable to truly feel devastated since she never knew the woman well enough. Barbie is even a bit resentful for the times Tilla chose to spend time with Blitz instead of her.

And with Cash... How would you think Bojack would react if PC died before him? 

Now… what about Moxxie’s family?

Crimson and Belia (Name I am giving Moxxie’s mom)

"You better grow up to be something great, to make up for all the damage you done."

One particular thing that I noticed about Crimson is how young he looks despite being Moxxie’s dad. If I knew nothing about Helluva Boss and someone showed me a picture of those two, I would 100% believe they are siblings, not father and son.

While we can attribute this to Vivzie's inability to draw older men, why not play with this?

Let's set up the stage.

When Moxxie entered the picture, Crimson and Belia were just seventeen years old and not even dating. However, I suppose that when you are a careless teenager, the consequences of forgetting the condom don't truly hit you until something goes wrong.

As one may expect, Crimson was not happy with the news and was even more angry when Belia told him that she wanted to keep the baby and sustained her ground no matter how many times Crimson told her to get rid of the pregnancy. Why not? They were both fucking teenagers, just fooling around and he had no intentions of becoming a father, at least not this young! What was truly stopping her?

Nobody truly knows why Belia chose to keep her son to this day. 

When alive, she would tell you without a doubt that she loved her child from the first moment and couldn't bear to let him go, even in the face of less than perfect circumstances. But Moxxie hasn't believed that version of the story in a very long time. 

Moxxie now thinks that the main reason why Belia had him was because she didn't want to endure the awful and harsh conditions of an Imp Health Center. Due to the horrible way the doctors treated the imp patients, lack of medicine and equipment, most imps avoided those places like the plage.

Unfortunately, sick imps had no other choice but to go to the centers for treatment. Because if an imp even dares to step a hoof on the more well equipped hospitals in Sloth or Lust, they would be immediately kicked out no matter the emergency.

For more serious issues, wealthy imps (like Crimson's family) would hire a private physician. However, Belia was aware that Crimson would never spend that kind of money on her. 

Or maybe Belia didn’t want to give Crimson the satisfaction of getting out of his responsibilities. 

When Crimson's own father learned about the, at that point, already advanced pregancy, he forced Crimson and Belia to get married. Given the Knowlastname family's significant power in Greed's imp neighborhoods, Crimson's status as an unmarried young father would be viewed as a shameful scandal.

Belia only consented to the marriage because she had nowhere else to go. When her parents found out that their seventeen-year-old daughter was expecting, they were so disappointed that they disinherited and prohibited her from ever returning home.

(Later, when I rewrite Exes and Oh's, I will go into more detail about what Crimson’s family does in the Greed Ring. They are still involved in “less than legal” practices and loan sharking, but is a little bit different than in canon since now I based the Greed Ring in the entertainment industry.)

Of course, as one may expect, things in that marriage went south real fast. 

Every time Crimson looked at Moxxie and Belia, he saw nothing but the two demons who took away his carefree teenhood together with the respect of his father, and with each passing year, he just became more and more cruel. At one point, he simply started physically abusing his wife, who always put herself as a buffer between Moxxie and Crimson.

If Belia dared to raise her voice against her husband, Crimson would merely tell her that the opportunity to leave him went away the minute she decided to bring “that brat” into hell without his permission. Now she was just reaping what she sowed.

Being physically and mentally abused by her husband (who, as a bonus, also turned everyone in the household against her) took a toll on Belia’s mental health. She still wanted to be the best mother she could be, but how can you raise a child in an environment where everybody sees them as the enemy? When your mind makes your body so heavy that getting out of bed becomes an impossible task?

More than once, Belia considered taking her son and moving back to Wrath. But then, to where? Her parents didn’t want to see her; she lost contact with her friends, and since she never finished school, she had no hireable qualities. How would she support herself and Mooxie if she decides to leave? Being a single imp mother in hell is not easy!

It was impossible! At this point, she just needed to endure. 

She will not let Crimson win; she will not let that man break her and Moxxie. While Crimson was definitely stronger than her, putting on a smile after a beating that sent Crimson into a frustrated frenzy was all she needed to feel she had won, even if her body stated otherwise.

There were also the times she and Moxxie went on hikes together, pretending that they were going on a grand adventure as far away from Crimson as possible. Being happy when Crimson didn’t want them to was the little act of rebellion she needed to stay sane.

However, Belia’s breaking point came after Moxxie’s seventh birthday, just a few months after Crimson’s father died, when her “beloved” husband brought home another pregnant imp. 

Belia was no idiot; she knew that her husband had been cheating on her for years, but she never said anything because she didn’t care enough to do it. So, Crimson had a side piece? big deal, she stopped loving him a long time ago. 

However, it was too much to bear to watch Crimson, a guy she believed to be utterly cruel, be a loving and caring partner to this imp and be so thrilled about the birth of their cherished child.

I mean, when you witness the same man who repeatedly denigrated your son, cursed and beat you for being pregnant, joyfully decorating a nursery while choosing baby names and spoiling his new partner, whom he never raised his voice at, it can and will break something in you. 

Ultimately, what could be worse? Accepting that your partner will never change? Or realizing that you were never worth the positive change they could bring about?

What did she do wrong?

Moxxie still doesn’t know what happened to his mom; what is certain is that one day he woke up and she was not there. While part of him is sure that Crimson killed her so he could marry his new partner, there is a part of him, small but loud, that tells him that Belia abandoned him at the mercy of his father. 

Why would she not? Moxxie knows that he looks a lot like Crimson, so it was possible that at some point, his poor mother couldn’t look at him anymore without remembering her abuser. He is also familiar with the sad reality that, if Belia tried escaping with him, the possibilities of re-doing her life with a kid on her toe would have been very slim.

Not to mention impossible.

After his mother disappeared, Moxxie became a ghost in his own house. Apart from giving orders and degrading him, Crimson was more focused on his new family and new children to “waste energy” in a son he never wanted. While Moxxie’s step-parent was not physically violent, their constant degrading of Belia and their attempts to erase all trace of her existence really put Moxxie on edge.

Sadly, he couldn’t say anything because the first and only time Mooxie tried to go against their wishes, Crimson put a stop to that real fast. 

Moxxie had to see firsthand how Crimson was a true, loving father to his stepsiblings. He listened to them constantly, never yelled at them, and never struck them—things he never did with his first kid. He also made sure to teach them how their big brother was nothing but a failure and to stay clear of him since “wimpyness” could be contagious.

Moxxie wishes he could know them better.

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o00o00

And this is all for today. I will give more information about Mooxie’s family (as well as his relationship with Chaz) when I rewrite Exes and Oh’s. Remember that these are mostly my first draft thoughts and can and probably will be changed for the final product. 

I hope you enjoy! I love when you comment!

[chaifootsteps]

that pc/blitz and stolas/bojack ask is so real because when i first saw that stupid ass scene of stolas going "you want to know what i want? i want to know what its like to not be alone. i want to know what its like to be someone's someone," what immediately came to my mind was that scene of bojack sitting in front of elefante with PC as he says, "i dont love you. you don't love me. we're just two lonely people trying to hate ourselves a little less." because thats basically all stoliz is at this point.

stolas is going to get everything he wants because of blitz's pity for him and trauma influenced need to feel needed, instead of their connection being based on anything natural, like their interests, their banter, or, oh geez, i dunno, the fact that they both have daughters that they deeply care about? its like loona and octavia dont even exist to stolas in apology tour. stolass ignores the 100% valid reason (that he of all people should understand since he has a daughter too) that blitz couldn't save him in western energy, focused on blitz not telling him he was nearly murdered by striker despite blitz saving stolas without blitz EVER expecting acknowledgement or a thank you (he only brings it up to defend himself), and claims he'll "die alone" if blitz doesnt love him back, despite the fact that he made a powerful goetia princess who probably has roughly the same life span as him, and has wanted nothing else but her father's love. shes the one who's actually worried about dying alone if stolas dies or leaves her. but nah, stolas should go for the guy whos life he knows is always at risk at his job, because he literally called him in the first episode while blitz was getting shot at and running for his life.

stoliz is just all kinds of fucked up now, and not in the fun way anymore like they were in s1. now? theyre just really sad and uncomfortable to watch.

"I don't love you, you don't love me, we're just two lonely people trying to hate ourselves a little less" is such a beautiful line that I'm surprised Viv didn't steal it.

(Maybe she should have; it would have made for a much more believable and emotional scene.)

[destinygoldenstar]

“Feeling like you’re nothing is… kinda normal. If people even feel like that in the world I came from.”

TW: DISCUSSIONS OF SUICIDE

So this line specifically has been on my mind.

Obviously Pomni does not outright say she’s depressed. But she doesn’t need to. The show trusts us to pick it up for ourselves.

At first I thought it was just trauma, because… DUH. WHAT HAPPENED.

She experiences nightmares, she has zone outs, she closes herself off from her peers, panic attacks, etc. All pretty real responses to a traumatic event.

BUT THEN WE HAVE THIS LINE.

Now, I wouldn’t think too much of it if she said “In the world I COME from.” Present tense. So that would indicate she’s talking about the circus.

But she uses PAST TENSE here.

“In the world I CAME from.”

So she’s not talking about the circus.

We know she’s not because we know she was once a human in the real world.

Gooseworx confirmed that the Digital Circus characters DO remember their past lives, just not the key identify-defining details like their names. Which makes sense cause, well, if they had full amnesia they wouldn’t know they came from anywhere else at all.

So this implies she’s talking about her life in the real world before this.

So this may indicate that in the real world, human Pomni had anxiety & depression.

A theory someone else said, but I liked and could see being possible, was that each Digital Circus character represents certain mental illnesses. (My idea: Pomni - Generalized Anxiety & Major Depression Disorder, Ragatha - Separation Anxiety Disorder, Jax - Sociopathy, Kinger - Schizophrenia, Gangle - Bipolar Disorder, Zooble - Dysphoria) While it is questionable for some characters whether they experienced these in the real world or they gained them in the circus (Kinger is probably one of the latter’s case), considering Pomni’s new to the circus, it’s easy to assume the former. You don’t develop these mental problems overnight.

So here’s my theory: Human Pomni was an accountant at C&A, and got her hands on the information of the Digital Circus. As in, she knew EXACTLY what it would do to her…

…but she put the headset on anyway as an act of suicide.

This could be proven wrong in a future episode, but that is my belief on what happened to her. Would also explain how she had a vague idea on how the video game’s outside maps worked.

BUT, you may be asking, “If Pomni knew and did it as sudoku, why would she want to leave immediately?”

Survival reflex. (And I’m partially thinking about that Bojack Horseman speech at the penultimate episode of that show. You know the one.) It IS a thing for someone to attempt suicide, and then change their mind on it pretty quickly, whether it be the pain that came with it, or the fear of death. And this is in both cases whether the attempted succeeds or fails at the deed.

So the beginning of the show could be Pomni’s brain, scattered as it is, experiencing just that.

“Wait a minute. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want to end it. I have to stop myself!”

But it’s too late.

She made her choice. She didn’t want to be ‘her’ anymore.

So she put the headset on.

She did the act.

There’s nothing she can do about it.

And since she TECHNICALLY isn’t dead, this is her processing her own existence, old and new, and what to do with it now.

THAT’s another reason why she has that nightmare about abstracting. Which could easily be seen as ‘mental suicide.’

A horrifying image on the outside. And on the inside, an image that’s far too real for her.

But she doesn’t have to have that be her fate.

There are people to help her and there are people that WOULD care if she dies.

Her story is about fighting the worst thoughts known to mankind and come out of that fight as a more emotionally realized person. As someone who wants to live. As someone who ISN’T nothing.

(This is a theory. Is open to be wrong.)

[msftsnmemes]

BOJACK HORSEMAN STARTERS.

unassorted taken from several audios & clip compilations. TRIGGER WARNINGS for mental health issues, alcoholism, suicidality, depression, drug abuse, and various other heavy topics that the show covers.

you'd probably sleep a lot better at night if you just admitted to yourself that you're a selfish coward who just takes whatever he wants and doesn't give a sh*t about who he hurts.

things don't become traditions because they're good, bojack. they become good because they're traditions.

you were born broken; that is your birthright. and now, you can fill your life with projects, books, movies, and little girlfriends; but that won't make you whole.

i don't understand how people live. it's incredible to me that people wake up every morning and say: 'yeah, another day, let's do it.

in the grand scheme of things, we are just tiny specs that will one day be forgotten. so it doesn't matter what we did or how we'll be remembered. the only thing that matters is right now. this moment.

believe it or not, the time's arrow neither stands still nor reverses; it merely matches forward.

there's no such thing as good and bad people. we're all people who do good and lousy things sometimes. all we can do is try not to do bad stuff and more good stuff.

the world is unforgiving enough as it is. the least we can do is find a way to forgive each other and ourselves.

when i almost drowned, i decided i would never again be weaker than water.

there will be times when i will see someone in trouble. you'll want to rush in there and do whatever you can to save them.

but you must stop yourself because there are some people you can't save.

because those people will thrash and struggle and try to take you down with them.

life is just one long, hard kick in the urethra for many people.

sometimes i feel like my whole life is just a series of loosely-related wacky misadventures.

that's the problem with life, right? either you know what you want, and then you don't get what you want, or you get what you want, and then you don't know what you want.

my life is a mess right now, and i compulsively take care of other people when i don't know how to take care of myself.

always take every opportunity that comes your way because opportunities are like sneezes from god, and when god sneezes, you can't say god bless you to god. so instead, you have to take the opportunity.

sometimes life's a b*tch, and you keep living.

you can live your whole life like a puzzle, put together from the pieces of different sets.

but at some point, you start to think it's you. you're the piece that doesn't quite fit.

and you spend so long with that feeling that the feeling becomes your home.

and it can be jarring when you discover one day that you suddenly don't feel that way anymore. at first, you don't trust it, but then, gradually, you do.

it's not about being happy; that is the thing. i'm just trying to get through each day.

i can't keep asking myself, 'am i happy?' it just makes me more miserable.

i don't know if i believe in it, real, lasting happiness.

all those perky, well-adjusted people you see in movies and tv shows? i don't think they exist.

you know, sometimes i feel like i was born with a leak, and any goodness i started with just slowly spilt out of me, and now it's all gone. and i'll never get it back in me.

i've had a lot of what i thought were rock bottoms, only to discover another, rockier bottom underneath.

loss is a collaborative art between the people who leave us and those who remain. we dance with the shadows of their absence.

one day, you're going to look around, and you're going to realize that everybody loves you, but nobody likes you. and that is the loneliest feeling in the world.

when i was your age, i got sad a lot. i didn't come from such a great home, but one day, i started running, which seemed to make sense, so i just kept running.

when you get sad, you run straight ahead and keep running forward, no matter what. people in your life will try to hold you back and slow you down, but you don't let them.

don't you stop running, and don't you ever look behind you. there's nothing for you behind you. all that exists is what's ahead.

i'm this close to falling off the deep end. i know i'm smiling right now, but the light inside me is dying.

i need to go take a shower, so i can't tell if i'm crying or not.

loss is a collaborative art between the people who leave us and those who remain. we dance with the shadows of their absence.

settle. because otherwise you're just gonna get older and harder, and more alone.

you're going to do everything you can to fill that hole with friends, your career, and meaningless sex, but the hole doesn't get filled.

i know i'm not the perfect guy. i actually kind of hate myself a lot of the time. but when i'm with you, i don't hate myself.

i like being around you, and i don't know if i ever told you that in so many words, so i'm telling you.

same thing that always happens. you didn't know me, and then you fell in love with me. and now you know me.

everybody deserves to be loved.

one day you're going to look around and realize that everyone loves you, but no one likes you, which is the loneliest feeling in the world.

when you look at someone through rose-coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.

it's so easy for you to love me when everything's good.

it's important that you know i cared. you think i didn't care because i put up walls.

but i cared so much about you. i wanted you to respect me.

i wanted you to love me. i was so afraid that you would know that.

the universe is a cruel, uncaring void. the key to being happy isn't a search for meaning.

it's to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you'll die.

i don't know what to tell you. i'm happy for the first time in my life, and i'm not going to feel bad about it.

it takes a long time to realize how truly miserable you are and even longer to see it doesn't have to be that way.

only after you give up everything can you begin to find a way to be happy.

do you ever look up at the stars and feel like they're tiny holes in the sky, sucking out all the oxygen, and suddenly you can't breathe because you're thinking about how small you are and how meaningless it all is?

it is so cruel to let people love you. all you are doing is promising you'll one day break their hearts.

there is no shame in dying for nothing. that's why most people die.

not understanding that you're a horrible person doesn't make you less of a horrible person.

it gets easier. every day it gets a little easier. but you gotta do it every day — that's the hard part. but it does get easier.

fool me once; shame on you. but teach a man to fool me, and i'll be fooled for the rest of my life.

i bought into this idea that i was this thing that couldn't be changed. the main thing i think about is how stupid i am that i didn't do this sooner.

i wasted so many years being miserable because i assumed that was the only way to be.

i don't want to do that anymore.

i understand that feeling of needing to bottle up your guilt and not burden other people with it.

you think you're protecting them from your toxicity. you convince yourself that you're being selfless, but it comes out in other ways and infects everything.

[ashestxr]

Get to know your mutuals: tag game

AAAAA thank you @wishchip106 for tagging me :]]

ive never done something like this so this was super fun hehehe

What's the origin of your blog title?

my name is ashe and i wanted a reason to sign my name with a star as the "a" 😀 but then i thought "ashestar" looked stupid so i added an x LMAO (and then only AFTER all that did i name my fursona star 😔)

OTP(s) + Shipname:

riddlebird/nygmobblepot has been my special interest for almost 3 years !! :]

but of course cherik has been very quickly been making its way up to being as special for me

Favourite colour:

green and purple !! (hmm i wonder why... 🤔) and is it too cheesy to say ive grown fond of orange now?? 😭

Favourite game:

i have a lot !! i mostly like story games so they can be difficult to play over and over but heres a few of them: a hat in time, the stanley parable, the portal games, any lego games, undertale and deltarune, and oneshot !!

and then of course theres also minecraft, the sims, and stardew valley that have easier replay value :]]

Song stuck in your head:

shes my collar by gorillaz !! (thank you lev for making me remember how much i love this song LMAO)

Weirdest habit/trait?

i pace all the time. anytime i have something i need to think about i will start pacing to get my thoughts going 😭 i can literally pace for hours at a time doing nothing else. its a huge time waster 😭😭

Hobbies:

reading, playing video games, dnd, uhhhh i mean i guess drawing and writing? oh and renpy as well even if i barely understand it

If you work, what's your profession?

im currently an assistant at a sewing shop !!

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be? Realistically?

god, is youtuber an option? its been something ive fantasized about since i was a kid but i dont have the self drive or passion to be able to do it tbh 😭 honestly, my dream job is something that pays well and doesnt involve talking to people often

Something you're good at:

id like to say writing !! even though i dont do it often ive always felt like it comes naturally to me (apart from being really slow at it) and ive had other people tell me the same. but apparently im really good at walking quietly as well !! im constantly scaring people cause they dont realize im in the same room 😭

Something you're bad at:

talking to people 😀 im getting better at doing it online, but irl? i will literally freeze up and stare at you if i dont know what to say ���

Something you love:

lev, my wonderful platonic boyfriend 💚🧡 hehehe :]]

but also my cat, my dnd party, all of the fandoms ive been in (and the people ive met through them), uhhh idk theres lots of other things but i kinda just turned this into a people oriented answer LMAO

Something you could talk about for hours off the cuff:

literally anything ive ever been passionate about. ever. bring up an old special interest from my childhood? prepare for me to remember things in real time while im telling you about it. ask me about a story i came up with? i will yap your ear off for hours, and then some after that. i have way too many words for someone who has barely any friends LMAO

Something you hate:

blueberries 😠 (but more seriously, people who are rude for no reason or arent understanding of the more disabling aspects of my autism 😭im trying my hardest, okay??)

Something you collect:

jigsaw puzzles !! i have over a hundred :]

also random things relating to my special interests and hyperfixations but those arent as impressive

Something you forget:

everything 😀 i have adhd so my object permanence is GOD AWFUL and i barely remember my childhood 😭

What's your love language?

quality time !!!

Favourite movie/show:

oh boy... theres so many but starting with tv shows:

gotham, doctor who/torchwood, good omens, gravity falls, bojack horseman, and community !! (and probably a few others im forgetting...)

and then im actually not a huge fan of movies so the only ones i can think of off the top of my head are xmen first class/days of future past and scott pilgrim 😭

but since theres no section for more internet based stuff im also a huge fan of hermitcraft/life series, starkid musicals, the magnus archives, and generation loss :]]]

Favourite food:

shrimp !! but a big comfort food of mine is chicken and rice with sweet chili sauce

Favourite animal:

foxes, snakes, penguins, and cats !!!

What were you like as a child?

simultaneously very obnoxious and extremely shy (so basically the most typical undiagnosed autistic childhood ever LMAO)

Favourite subject at school?

english (big surprise there) but math was always super fun for me when i actually understood what was happening LMAO

Least favourite subject:

hmm.... history? but that might have to do with the fact that i was homeschooled so it was a super christianized version of it ://

What's your best character trait?

idk id like to say im pretty laid back. like if someone needs something from me ill go help or if someone im hanging out with wants to do something different i wont complain !! i just like being with the people i love :]

What's your worst character trait?

mmm everything i want to say are things that are caused by my audhd and it feels weird to say that for this question.. :// honestly, it might be a case of my best character trait also being my worst cause i have a hard time letting people know when im not alright with something because im a people pleaser

If you could change any detail of your life right now, what would it be?

i have been wanting to get my drivers license for over 2 years now and have made no progress 😀 honestly its one of the only things keeping me living with my parents but i still cant find the motivation to work seriously towards it

that and the fact that im so far apart from the love of my life :[[ but theres not much that can be done about that right now im afraid

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?

would it be dumb to say my younger self? cause i think it would be super healing for me if i was able to tell him that things get better :[

i dont have very many mutuals and i also dont know whos done this already so im just gonna tag these people and hope that its okay 😭 @monaetheworldsdestroyer @eriknocherikyes @osi-inn @ghostboy512 @alien--cookie @nyang-cheng @disasterhals

@autistic-billcipher (i know you were tagged in the post i was tagged in i just thought you would want to see this hehehe)

[dongslinger--420]

Thoughts on the chicken for days episode?

I used to skip it on all my rewatched of bojack after maybe my third rewatch because I think I got it in my brain that it was an unimportant dumb episode. But then on my last rewatch I made the effort and realised that it's actually better than I remembered. Still dumb lol. But not "bad dumb." It's like the Todd episode before the Actual Todd episode.

And I'll big admit that the joke in this episode where people keep asking Becca the chicken questions and taking her varied buck sounds as legit responses got me xD

Hi! Before I get onto anything else, I'd like to ask you to please not use the word "dumb" on my blog. I really don't like that word and I've mentioned it a couple of times before, but I understand that you probably didn't know, so I'd just ask you to not do it again.

Moving on to my actual answer, I have two things that I'd like to talk about in regards to Chickens:

1. Social commentary

I'm vegan, and so is Raphael Bob-Waksberg, although I'm unaware as to whether the writer of the episode, Peter Knight, is. As a result, this episode functions as a commentary in favour of veganism, and when I first watched the episode, this really struck me, because it was the first time I had seen this in any show.

Yes, this is a world where humans and anthropomorphic animals coexist, and as a result they couldn't make a one-on-one comparison (on that note, I would love to watch an episode that shows how they reached this conclusion in the first place). However, the comparisons that they do make are generally handled very well. Many people do think that eating animals is justified simply because they are of lesser intelligence to humans. Yes, the livestock in this episode are bred to be of lesser intelligence, but the justification is still there. Many organisations (including the RSPCA) refuse to acknowledge the hypocrisy of eating animals while claiming to care for them, using the fact that it is legal as justification. And lastly, it tears into the whole concept of "humane slaughter", by taking the stance that as long as anyone doesn't want to die, no slaughter is humane (in addition, it also talks about how people who work in slaughterhouses are traumatised, which is another reason not to fund them).

All in all, it achieves its purpose just as well as any other social justice issue this show covers, and it's INCREDIBLE to me how Bob-Waksberg and Knight were gutsy enough to cover a social justice topic that is far from the dominant ideology. It frustrates me to no end whenever people say that "this episode was fucked up" because the real life equivalent is just as fucked up! Please unlearn your cognitive dissonance!

2. Character work

It's interesting that you mention Todd in this ask because I consider the episode as being more focused on two other main characters: BoJack and Diane.

BoJack's overall arc this season is heavily connected to Kelsey, because Kelsey reminds him of two people: Herb and Beatrice. The Herb comparisons tend to come later on in episodes like Fish Out Of Water, so I'm going to be focusing on Bea here. Bea's personality is established to us in Brand New Couch, where we see how her abuse and undermining of BoJack has affected him. Chickens functions as a development of this, with BoJack's shitty upbringing meaning that he is naturally drawn to older people who are cold to him. As a result of this, BoJack spends the entirety of this episode trying desperately to impress Kelsey, while she continues to give him the cold shoulder. And here's the kicker: Kelsey genuinely believes he's incredible. Everyone, including us, already knows this, because why else would she have hired him? He never needed to impress her. And as a result, the fact that he spends so much time trying to impress her is deeply tragic and ironic. He doesn't even learn how she feels about him until four episodes later. No opinions change at the end of this episode, because it's the second of three acts in this overall story arc.

Diane's utilitarianism is given much more focus this season than in the previous one. It was briefly touched on in Yesterdayland, but in this episode she is directly forced to face the sad truth that she is a failure in her own eyes. First, she meets Irving, who reminds her deeply of herself when she was younger, and she realises how little she has achieved since she was Irving's age. Next, she gets branded as "the maid" when running away with Todd, thereby causing Irving's opinion of her to lessen as she realises how much she is actually useful for. Finally, the episode ends with the bittersweet notion that actually, Diane didn't do anything. Against her best efforts, Diane was completely powerless to save Becca, and Chicken4Days continues to go even stronger. Nothing is resolved in this arc, with the brief exception that she forms a genuine connection with Todd, as well as earning Irving's approval on her own terms. The issue doesn't go away, and two episodes later she tries again, even harder this time, only to be faced against the entire world, and eventually be forced to give in.

Chickens is a silly buddy storyline that hides a DEEPLY tragic core, in which seeds are spread for two major character arcs for us to uncover.

[urfavgirlfail]

First Post

Hi! I'm Teddy, I'm about to be 18 in a month !! Here are some of my interests if anyone wants to be my moot ^0^ Probably gonna bold or something the ones I'm really into... But please interact if you enjoy them!!! I'm excited to make new friends here Mood: Every Wave by mxmtoon - YellowJackets, I'm almost done with season 1 so no spoilers! - LiS 1, BTS, True Colors. I haven't played two or DE yet :( - Until Dawn! Duh, the blog pic and banner hehe he :3 - Road 96 - Some creepypasta - Bojack Horseman - Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney - D&D - Roleplay - Persona 5 (I am only about a fourth of the way done with the game) - Mouthwashing - Fortnite (not very good at it) - Legend of Zelda (Majoras Mask and BOTW) - Roblox! I am always down to play don't be scared to ask :3 - Bully - Dead By Daylight (I'm not too good but I'm always down to play) - PIKMIN!!!! I fucking love Pikmin I have almost all the games - Horror Media - Ni No Kuni! I have both games and adore the movie - Pantheon - Orange Is The New Black

[sweetsiesharkraine]

Uhhh i have. An essay abt bojack horseman. Not an essay more like a paragraph. Spoilers. Obviously.

So, I wanted to talk about season 2, episode 8. Aka. "Let's find out." To me personally it felt out of place (as someone who's watched the show quite a few times.) It obviously didn't feel as rushed as the last season, but it seriously just felt out of order, and the charecters were being very confusing, at least in my opnion.

First off, bojack. He seemed mostly in charecter for the episode. But just in my opnion it would be highly unlikely for him to actually listen to Wanda, with the way he would most likely (compared to past AND future situations) carry his "im finally winning something. Why would I give that up now." Attitude. I feel like even if he loved her like he clearly did. He would never lose and be embarrassed like he was by Mr. PeanutButter for her. I mean, let's be real. It's SEASON TWO bojack.

Secondly, Mr. PeanutButter. I feel he was horribly condensending in this episode. And you can semi-tell he had a diffrent attitude then normal. But with the upside that took place before, this is reasonable. But I feel that if Mr.PeanutButter knew about bojack kissing diane. He would've asked him MUCH earlier. I mean, specifically waiting until their infront of most likely almost a thousand people? While a few seasons later defending bojack and not saying a word during the Sarah Lynn case? It doesn't add up to me. I feel it was just a lazy plot development for the writers. But it's ok in the episode in itself. I just DONT understand the personality change.

Lastly (because this is a shorter essay.) Todd. In the episode he starts off normal-ish. But then again in the previous episode he went through a traumatic event. Even if not mentioned again. But around the middle/end he just becomes. A jerk. I personally just never beilive that he would pull a trick like the one he did on the mouse woman (i forgot her name if im being honest. But the rest of his shenanigans seem pretty in place to me personally.

If you have anything or add or a diffrent opnion, please reblog! I love talking about bojack! And I'll probably be posting more about it.

[person4924]

new about me

my name is sam !! thats basically all u need to know but theres (a lot) more under the cut!! i also have a strawpage that has some basic info (idrk how it works if im being honest tho)

last updated: august 5

i’m sapphic of some sort and ace

u can use any pronouns but they is usually the best !! (this is my pronouns page)

i’m neurodivergent of some sort (i don’t even know anymore)

a minor (don’t be weird)

my personality type is INFP-T

my theme will change like weekly prob bc i wanna change it with every new huperfxation i have!!

things i like (the things bolder r what i talk about the most)

harry potter (fuck jkr)

marvel

the marauders

boy meets world

it

osemanverse

paper girls

teen wolf

owl house

shameless

glee

stranger things

friends

andi mack

the last of us (i’ve only watched the show tho, but i know most of what happens in the games)

riordanverse

musicals

poetry

reading

cats

animals

fictional characters

music

movies

tv shows

art

writing

women

sitcoms

brooklyn nine nine

new girl

hamilton

grishaverse

stand up comedians

ocean animals (specifically sharks)

community

moths (and just kinda winged bugs in general)

greek mythology

dawsons creek

bojack horseman

halloween

the sky (like stars, the moon, the sunset, etc)

jelly fish

criminal minds

animals

ted lasso

scooby doo (the older movies from the 2000’s ish specifically but all of it too)

everything sucks!

the sun bearer trials

atypical

octonauts

spencer reid

bo burnham

dead boy detectives

will and grace

90’s movies

my fav movies are tick tick boom, my girl, dead poets society, breakfast club, the outsiders, hamilton, stand by me, cmbyn, lady bird, beautiful boy, luca, nimona, (500) days of summer, empire records, etc. i have a lot but this is just the first few i think of

musicals i like are hamilton, tick tick boom and the greatest showman

my fav taylor albums are folklore, evermore, reputation, 1989, ttpd and speak now but i love all of them really (please please ask me abt them omg)

my current hyper fixation is the marauders (more of a life-long obsession atp) and solangelo

i’m currently reading nothing !! i just cannot

my fav music people (i’m really just giving a short list of many): conan gray, cavetown, current joys, queen, rainbow kitten surprise, the front bottoms, harry styles, noah kahan, taylor swift, phoebe bridgers, the fray, coldplay, olivia rodrigo, billie eilish, boygenius, gracie abrams, sufjan stevens, maya hawke, the smiths, lucy dacus, julien baker, the smiths, sleeping at last, mitski, bo burnham, chappell roan, lorde, the revivalists, hozier, the head and the heart, mumford and sons, the revivalists, adrianne lender

i mostly post about whatever hyperfixation and/or character/person/ship has overtaken my brain, music and analysis things

i appreciate tone tags and i try to use them as much as possible

i’m always looking to talk to more people and i’m always bored (don’t be weird istg)

my fav books are any alice oseman book, the outsiders, the perks of being a wallflower, i fell in love with hope

child of athena (i think, idk how to actually figure it out)

i’m probably a reggie kin?? but it also changes with my varying mental state so i just say i’m marauders soup

biggest pandalily shipper you’ll find

i love love love making character analysis’ or song or movie or tv show or books or ships or whatever

i also write sometimes!! (i suck ass)

and i’m person4924 on ao3 but i can’t figure out how to link it

this is my spotify (my character playlists are my pride and joy and reason for living. i also have the best music taste you will ever encounter.)

this is my discord

this is my airbuds idk if anyone actually uses it but i thought it’d be fun to share music with mooties

please please please send me asks i have no hobbies and one friend and im always bored please please please (im on my hands and knees begging please please please (@iluvmultipleppl needs it to be known im only on my knees for them /j (they called me a whore and told me to fix it 😔)))

i have a tagging system!! idk how much ill remember to use it but yeah!! (its also new so only my new posts will have them) #sam shut the fuck up -> any original posts that don’t fit in any of the other tags #asks!!! -> asks #crazy? i was crazy once -> just any kinda longer fandom rants that i think are important sam sings :O -> lyric/music rants!!

[mandareeboo]

Unfinished Work #60: "Untitled" (Finished)

I never felt up to publishing this, but I've been rewatching BoJack and felt it'd be good to put here! A little goodbye to an old friend between Hollyhock and Diane.

Title: N/A

Summary: N/A

"Sorry about this," the horse said. "You're probably really busy with writer things."

"You wanna know what I was going to do before coming out on the porch to have a smoke and chat with you?" Diane asked dryly. "I was about ten seconds away from telling my husband I was going out onto the porch to have a smoke. It's not even half the inconvenience you think it is."

"Oh," she responded, and fell silent.

Diane let out a gust of lung cancer in a long, drawn-out sigh. Texas is pretty in postcards but hotter than the sun in person, with the added bonus of all sorts of creepy crawlies straight out of the official nightmare catalogue, but it's kind of nice? There's trees everywhere. Lots of open, bumpy land. The spider currently weaving its web a few feet from her isn't even venomous- it's an orb weaver of some sort. All in all, better than death.

It'd be nicer if her company talked, though.

"Let me guess," Diane prompted, making her jump. "You're Hollyhock, right?"

"Bojack told you about me?" Hollyhock asked, ignoring her question.

"He told all his friends about you. He was really excited to have family he didn't loathe with all his being."

"Oh," she repeated, softer this time.

"Relax, you're not gonna end up on his wiki page or anything. And, for what it's worth, I'm really happy to meet you in person. You're shorter than I thought you'd be."

Hollyhock looked at her hands, where her phone was situated, then back at Diane. "Bojack's told me about you, too. He talked a lot about a lot of things, but you especially."

"And that made you think I had answers?"

She shrugged helplessly.

Diane took another drag. "You want the truth? He's an asshole. Whatever you feel or suspect about him is absolutely vindicated."

"Yeah." she said. "But I miss him anyway. Isn't that... awful?"

"No? I don't think it is. I mean, the part that sucks about people is that they're more than just one thing. Sure, Bojack is a sleezy, emotionally-abusive jerk who's slept with almost every woman he's ever met, but he also sends stupid little text messages about stuff he saw on his drive home, and one time when he got drunk he sang the lollipop song and it was actually the prettiest thing ever, and he helps you pack even though he complains the whole time. He's all that shit."

"He once threw his mom's doll out a window."

"I know. He told me."

"He did?"

"He's always drunk-dialed me. Fifteen years now, and I'm his drunk-dial SOS." Diane considered her cigarette a moment. It was her first one of the day. A new record low. "I never met her, but I spoke to Beatrice twice- for his book."

"Oh, yeah, that thing. I never read it?"

"It sold alright, but it wasn't the next great American novel. Anyway, I called the retirement home to get a statement- got the phone number off of Bojack's long-time manager and friend Princess Carolyn- and called. This was before the dementia really ate up her brain- think, I dunno, almost nine years before you knew her- and she was still pretty sharp. I said, 'hi, this is Diane Nyguyen, I'm ghost-writing a novel about your son, Bojack' and she said, 'what, is he too lazy to write it himself'?"

Hollyhock winced. "Woof."

"Oh, I'm just getting started." Diane flicked some ash away. "We went in circles a bit, but eventually I laid it out for her. 'Mrs. Horseman', I said, 'I'm writing about your son's life, and as such I have called to see if you had any note-worthy stories or quotes you'd like to add'. She was pretty quiet for a minute. Then she said, 'sure, why not, I'm dying anyway. Might as well debase myself even more.' She told me all about her husband, Butterscotch-"

"Bojack never said much about him."

"There wasn't much to say, honestly. Bojack took after him and he always hated himself for it. Beatrice despised her husband for being unfaithful, bitter, and sexist. And she told me, 'now, put this in your little book, girl, and put it word-for-word. Bojack took after him, but he had the sense to be a bit quieter about it; which is a bit like saying the hissing roach is less disturbing to the eyes than the American one because it eats leaves instead of garbage. They're both insects, and they're both a waste of the paper their books were written on'." She paused. "Gotta say, she was damn eloquent."

Hollyhock winced again. "Double woof."

"It's the one story I never put into One Trick Pony. Not because I thought she'd regret saying it, or because it wouldn't fit the tone of the book, but because I knew it'd rip Bojack apart. Even back then, I was putting him above my own job. He has a way of worming into things like that." Diane stamped out the rest of the smoke, then pulled out another one. "I used to smoke like a freight train, but now it's only when I get worked up. Sorry about the second-hand."

Hollyhock was quiet again, but this time it was more pensive than anything else. "I... wrote him a letter. I actually don't even know if he read it, because he kept sending me voicemails telling me he would, but he never told me he did before I changed my number. I thought it'd be over. I thought I was moving on, but..."

"Moving on isn't the same as moving away," Diane said. "Trust me. I've packed houses before. But even now, I still find myself looking for him in the news, or thinking back to the good times we had."

"Mhmm. He tried to learn sports for me, you know? Because he wanted to cheer me on. And that still means a lot to me. But then I remember that interview, and I just... I just can't do it. I can't talk to someone who's done stuff like that."

"That's completely in your right! I know you're a grown-up, but you're still pretty young, you know? Bojack's in his fifties. His problems shouldn't be on anyone, but they especially shouldn't be on you."

"You won't tell him I came, will you? I know you're friends, but..."

"I think your definition of friendship is a bit different from us, kiddo. I mean, we haven't spoken in almost a year now. I just go see his movies, and he sends me long rambling reviews about my books, and we follow each other on social media."

"That feels like friendship," she concurred. "Mrs. Nyguyen?"

"God, don't. Diane."

"Diane. Did you and Bojack….?"

"Nope. But not because he didn't want to. I was dating when we first met, and married a good chunk of the time I lived in L.A. Now I'm married again. If I hadn't been... well, he would've tried, if nothing else."

"And you?"

She pursed her lips. "There was a time where I lived in his house and spent every day getting shitfaced drunk, and nothing skeevy happened. He'd come home, I'd be drunk and when was Bojack not drunk? We'd drink more and we'd watch reruns of Horsin' Around. I liked that. It wasn't healthy, but I liked it. And I liked him. I try not to think too hard about it, but... I dunno, honestly."

Hollyhock pulled her knees to her chest. "I came here hoping to find a way to stop missing him. Now I just miss him even more? I hate emotions."

Diane smiled. It was bittersweet. "Now you sound like a true Horseman."

[the-rat-child]

this seems random but I saw ur post from yesterday again that’s like ‘i only like couples where they are both just losers’ tagged with Eric and I just need you to know that I could agree more. Every loser sex post I see I think “that’s Eric” and I’m just glad other people also think this because he’s so cringe fail loser in a weirdly sexy kinda way. Like weirdly endearing. This isn’t making any sense.

No bc you get it and it makes so much sense

This is brought up multiple times in my streamer au due to the fact that Eric gets in a relationship (yes it's a jalim fic but Eric is slowly becoming my favorite so I gotta give him some focus)

Rambling (and I mean RAMBLING) about that whoooooole relationship and Eric's cringefail loser yet weirdly sexy appeal as of what's written right now under the cut it might be long but have fun

This. Also might not make sense I just need to talk about my cringefail sillies

First of all fun fact. This all started bc I made some sibling ocs for Jason.

Before anyone says anything yeah yeah ik canon X oc raaah bad but like hear me out

One of them is his twin sister, Piper.

She was created like... Over a year before I ever considered any of this.

I didn't realize when I was making her she is kind of Rachel-like. She's stern, commanding, and sometimes downright mean, has the same sort of attitude and determination, are both career-focused and successful

But there are some key differences to the two:

1. Rachel kind of puts distance and ices her relationships when they need support (Eric after the crash, Nick once Eric shows up, if she chooses one over another or neither are all examples)

Piper dealt with Jason's mentally ill ass all her life and tends to be a rock - she sticks around and tries to be supportive (which is actually her tragic flaw)

2. Rachel is shown as independent and I love her for it. I mean look at the entire game

Piper lowkey needs people around to function, and grew up with community, constantly around others (especially family)

3. Rachel is probably gay... I mean.... yeaaaaaahh...

Even if not she definitely didn't gel well with Eric, she's not cringefail enough. Their chemistry kind of rubs the wrong way, and their dynamic is really like Mr. Peanutbutter and Diane from Bojack Horseman (long story short it doesn't work out.)

But Piper, on the other hand, is also an absolute fucking loser. In fact this woman has never had a relationship despite being 30

Alright fun fact out of the way

The streamer au establishes that Eric is single

Enter Piper.

They first meet when he opens a closet door in his studio because they were hiding her from Jason as a surprise. She's snappy and intense, but quickly shows her funny and relaxed side due to being comfortable with Jason and Nick already

In true loser fashion, Eric immediately starts teasing her like he's a high school student instead of a 35 year old man

But just like him, she teases right back

Also it's revealed in this that Eric had an anime phase as a teenager

A few nights after this, Piper quite literally twirls her hair with her finger while asking Jason and Nick about Eric

The next time they meet, it gets no better.

Eric goes to Jason's place to record something with him, but is greeted at the door by Piper.

Jason immediately tries to expose his sister, he says something, Eric and Piper start making fun of each other again

But he calls her crazy.

Eric's smart, but he's not immune to stupid decisions.

Piper's solution?

Throw him in the pool.

He thinks she's joking but it turns out that she's not, and he's reduced to begging for her to not do it. Loser activities.

This actually works in his favor because once he resurfaces from being thrown she immediately flirts with him

She looks down at this sopping wet man and wants that.

He is like leaning on the edge of the pool and admiring the woman that made him beg to take off his prosthesis before being thrown into a pool. Peak loser activity

But the loser sex appeal marches on bc five minutes later she asks if he keeps his leg on during sex for "future reference"

Next time they meet Eric reveals that he doesn't get invited to the group's guy's nights because of his status as The Group Loser but she thinks he's fun to be around

She invites him to stick around and immediately outs herself as a fellow loser by bringing him up to her room, where she was getting high and coloring in coloring books

So they hang out blah blah blah, things happen and eventually she is cooking for the both of them

Eric is insistent on helping but she doesn't want help.

Instead of just telling him to sit down for the third time like a normal person, she drags him to the couch, pins him down by the shoulders, and threatens to tie him up

Eric, in his weird loser sex appeal glory admits that he's into that

She also rambles on the phone about how he's cute and sweet to Jason. This is the third time her and Eric have met.

They are both losers jn their own special way

So a while after this they're supposed to go on their first date and he's sooo excited, he's even wearing a new pair of jeans!

But things happen and he has a panic attack, ends up not going

So instead of being normal about her date not showing up, she shows up to his apartment.

They end up having a stay-at-home date yayyy

So examples of them being losers and /or insane during their first date....

1. Eric gets slightly turned on by being called a good boy

2. Gets a knife pulled on him and still wants a second date (which Piper pulled a knife on him)

3. Admits he wants to be married before he's 40 (which he didn't think about the fact that he said it on a date)

4. They build a puzzle together and argue the entire time

5. Piper's favorite board game is Jumanji

6. He gets his ass handed to him as he loses every game but one

And a while after this they fuck before their second date

I needed to ramble about these two and their complementary loser sex appeals

It makes way more sense in the story

Can't decide whether the ship name is peric or pric (like prick).

[tsukimefuku]

Fuku hi!!! Charging in to bombard you with some of the writers ask questions. Here I go!! 😌

4. What piece of media inspired you the most?

9. What fic meant the most to you to write?

12. What fic was most difficult to write? Did you finish it?

22. Share an excerpt from your favorite scene.

4. Oh, I had sooooo many of those. Let me try to list some of the most important and some of the most recent for all the styles I’ve been writing (fluff, angst, dark fantasy original work and romcom):

Água Viva by Clarice Lispector (book), Fleabag (tv series), The haunting of hill house (series), Pitch Perfect trilogy (movies), We need to talk about Kevin by Lionel Shriver (book), Sandman (comics), Watchmen (comics), Wandavision (tv series), Bojack Horseman (tv series), The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath (book), and I mean my entire Spotify history 😂

9. Currently, it’s “The Eulogy for the Love Remained” which is a WIP, but up until I started it, it was my rewrite of “The Event part 1” because I had given myself the challenge of rewriting something I didn’t like and I did it, having a final fic that I’m actually happy with! It gave me a sense of accomplishment :)

12. It’s a tie. First, Blunt trauma, my villain Nanami fic (especially part two that is currently in the works). I had to write the “balancing act” between two people that love and resented each other deeply, and let it shine through their dynamics (so *show, don’t tell* rule). On the other hand, Higuruma Sensei is being a challenge because it demands me to keep some sort of consistency, it’s a genre I’m not very used to (romcom), and it is written in an organized, planned long-story format (my adhd demon is screaming).

22. Omg I have so many of those. Let me get one from “books and dinner” WIP (reader & Nanami):

“Hm… Is everything alright?” Kento asked, holding the door open while he slightly brushed his hair back with his fingers.

“I need to return your apartment keys” you replied, absentmindedly.

He looked puzzled. “You can keep those, it's not an issue at all.”

You stood there silently for a minute, and knowing you all too well, he waited for the bomb that was about to drop. Kento had learned by then that anything could come out of your mouth when you went silent like that.

“Tell me what I should do with it.”

“You should probably put them in a keychain” the sorcerer replied, confused.

“No, not the keys” you answered, words struggling to come out against the concrete barricade you had on your throat.

Kento patiently asked, “What, then?”

“With the love they left me. My family, my best friend, my brother, and now him. I don’t…” you heaved, before coming back to a more impassive expression, “I don’t know what to do with it. Please, tell me what I should do with it.”

Kento’s eyes widened, as he realized what you were actually on about. He then began assessing the situation — you looked perfectly sober, somewhat distraught, but otherwise fine. Seeing that nothing was particularly wrong, he let you keep talking without interruptions.

“I- I don’t want it anymore. Why do people keep leaving me with their love?” you asked, pained, eyes too heavy to lift, “So, I need to do something with the love they left me with, and I still can’t think of anything. I need some help with that, I guess.”

Your tone was analytical, like someone picking apart at building blocks.

Your gaze, however, revealed you were nothing but a child, just picking apart at yourself.

[st4rhubz]

WELCOME TO ST4RHUBZ!

NAVIGATION...masterlist (wip) MOST RECENT WORKS...n/a WIP(s)...CARNIVAL! (C.S), Heartbeat (M.S)

ABOUT ME...my name is layla, she/her, unlabeled, and i'm a chris girl. i also had my blog named jake webber's wife at some point so do as you will with that info. i'm into a lot but my main things are bojack horseman, sturniolo triplets, jake webber, johnnie guilbert, steven universe, bnha, jjk, shifting, and i love to read!!

ABOUT THE BLOG...I will probably write like a lot of smut and fluff, barely any angst but when I do just let me cook. I write for the sturniolo triplets, jjk, bnha, (sometimes) haikyuu, occasionally jake webber but mainly the first three!

WHAT I WRITE...smut for all 18+ and time skip characters, fluff and angst for all. I will NOT write any form of smut for minor characters.

RULES...pls be mindful of my nsfw posts, no smut for characters under 18, no homophobia, xenophobia, transphobia, racism, or any type of shit like that or you will be blocked. Don’t push me to write pls. I mainly write fem reader or gn (depending on the imagine, oneshot). I will NOT write the following:

nick sturniolo x fem!reader noncon shit, piss, etc. racism, homophobia, xenophobia, transphobia, etc just don't ask me to write some weird shit man LMAOOO

OVERALL...be nice and respectful to others on this blog

ST4RHUBZ 2024

[yuusaris]

@rochelle-echidna showed up in the thief king bakura tag cuz I follow it, doing a "post a couple paragraphs of your WIP" share-a-thon thing and said anyone who sees it could do it and I saw it and I wanna do it, I wanna I wanna I wannaaaaa!!!!!

tagging @millenniumringg, @justapalspal @nightingalejune and @ladymdc and anyone else who just wanna wanna wanna like meeeeeee

I'm obvs gunna do a few of these, obviously. I have too many WIP's not to share. I'm gunna do my lmk ones first, then the ygo's and I'll end on a very delayed WIP for rvb, mmkay? mmkay.

--[Unnamed]--

(Context: My last dump was to make way for this - a whole new plot and direction for a fic whose name doesn't suit it right now and is thus unrtitled - the idea is... well, honestly, this is almost all of the first chapter, so, it'll speak for itself.)

“Like a…bri-- a- a wife?” Macaque’s brow furrows. “You want to get married? You.”

“What’s that tone? I could get married if I want!” Wukong spits. “If I even want a queen - I mean, it’s not like we even need one.”

“Then why are you thinking about it?”

Wukong groans, “Well, everyone else’s got one!” and deflates at his status - the odd-king-out. “Bull’s totally gunna marry Jade Face, Peng and Tusk are saddled up, King of Confusion’s just got that new thing on his arm, even White Snake snagged herself some human to mack on-- Not that it matters!” Wukong defends - no, declares, because it is a fact. “Cuz I don’t need one just cuz everyone else is doing it, just - why’s everyone dipping on party time because of some spouse, what’s so important about them? Am I missing something here?”

“If you have to ask, you’re probably not ready for that kind of relationship--”

“Relationship, shmelationship, what’s that gotta do with anything?!” Wukong, just as he finishes, decides he doesn’t like the look on Macaque’s face either. “Y’know, for my right hand man, you’re not bein’ too helpful right now.”

--[Almost And Enough]---

(Context: My S4 Wukong In The Broken Scroll fic I've been working on sinceeeeee fffffuck, whenever it was S4 came out. I've been working on this all year and Chapter 1 IS done, but I want to finish the fic before I post. Either way, we've got a Wukong - currently not Wukong and therefore Monkey -deciding to share his Secret, that being, he's going to leave to find immortality. And he picks a very particular person to share it with first...) The Macaque looks to the sky, the trees, the fruits - as long as it’s not as his King. “The others should know.” Is his only, halting, response.

Monkey shrugs, shoulders hiking then rolling back in a way he hopes is cool. “I wanted to tell you first.”

“Why?” The Macaque asks with a dismissal that’s purely performative. “We’re not close just because we’re part of the same troop - We’re almost strangers, we’ve never even talked.”

Lies are sort of like secrets--

“You should tell the other mountain troops to merge with ours.” Monkey had suggested. “It makes no sense for us to hoard the cave when there’s others who need the shelter too!”

“I can do that,” replied the monkey, a macaque with three round ears to each side of his head. His face was a wild splatter of red with exciting flares, more extravagant than the smooth curves of Monkey’s peach-pink patch. “You’re King now, so...”

--but much less fun.

“Well, ‘almost’ isn't a stranger, is it?” Monkey grins when he finds a stick in the ground - almost a branch but just shy of earning the title. Absently, he answers as he slings it over one shoulder, “Besiiiides, us not talking is as much on me as it is you so, this is me breaking the ice and you being forgiven for not trying.”

--[My Poltergeist Is Dead And Everything Is Worse Now]--

(Context: a trauma-release fic I've been writing while mourning my cat. Weirdly took on life with sections named after bits of Bojack's eulogy for his mother. It's a funeral, taking place within the Milleniaum...Cube? Cube. Plana Cube, after Ryou got ousted from the movie by the Cube. If Joey went to a place no one remembers him, Ryou went to a surrealist funeral, where he'll be around all the people he lost, with a big focus on the Spirit of the Ring. His family is written in past tense because they have passed away and this cannot be undone or forgotten)

He sits at the pew, next to his mother, with his sister crawling into his lap. The Spirit sits behind him, and toys with Ryou’s hair, drawn back as respectably as a boy with long hair can manage. Ryou shakes his head to shake the hand off, but only succeeds in garnering Amane’s infant hands instead. 

“It doesn’t make sense, him being gone.”

Ryou listens to her speak, his eyes on the casket.

“It doesn’t feel real.”

Ryou looks to his side. His mother’s head was bowed, not looking at the coffin. Her stiff body and closed eyes unnerve him from her seat. In a rhythm, she took one long breath, exhaling, and each after became smaller and smaller. In a moment, she didn’t seem to breathe at all - Ryou checks for her chest to rise wide again, and ends up staring instead.

“Did you love him?” Ryou asks her, a thing that’s haunted him just beneath his foundations.

A glassy eye was open, pointed in Ryou’s direction. The answer took longer than Ryou was comfortable with, and the answer itself had been no sweeter.

“Do you?”

--[Love, The Me That's Killing You]--

(Context: Ryou has discovered Bakura's got Hanahaki disease and it's killing them both as they share a body. So he's trying to figure out who is it Bakura could possibly be in love with. Despite efforts to dissuade him, Bakura eventually concedes to the search, rushing Ryou past pictures of the Battle City finals until--)

“That one!” Bakura points. To a young girl with cinnamon brown hair.

“Jounouchi-kun’s sister?” Ryou asks, dreadingly, as Bakura nods, furiously. “...She’s… thirteen.”

There’s a choking sound. “Not… not that one, then.” Bakura rasps. “The other one, there was another one, still had the hair and the - there! Yes, her!” He points, it’s Isis. Ryou’s confused.

“But you just said-”

“I made a mistake, am I allowed to make mistakes?”

“About someone you love,” Ryou gestures to the petal pile, “this much?”

“It was - dark,” Bakura stutters. He stuttered. “And windy, and there was - we were in a lot of pain, Landlord…” Bakura’s brushing it all off.

“You’re dying over someone you just mistook for someone else?”

“Well, it’s not like I spent a lot of time with her, is it?!” Bakura barks. 

“Then what could you possibly love about her?!”

“That… is…!” Bakura stops, sputtering, “That is exactly it! She doesn’t speak to me unnecessarily, just how I like it! She knows her place, unlike a certain someone!” 

“Seen and not heard, is she?” Ryou gags, of his own reflexes, in disgust at the slime-coated sentiment. With a choke, Bakura balks, mumbling about Ryou understanding when he’s older.

--[3 Reasons Why (I Never Told You I Was Playmaker)]--

(Context: I love VRAINS. I love Chatshipping. I will write the Chatshipping somehow.)

“You don’t gotta tell me all that,” Shima says - as if it’s so simple to say even this! “Just say you don’t wanna talk about it.”

“You would have complained that I was keeping something from you,” Yusaku replies, without looking. “You would have felt hurt, gotten upset and run off.”

“I’m never upset with you!” Shima’s shocked, somehow. Yusaku only glances at him, brows stitched in dulled disbelief. “Well.. not for more than an hour, at least!”

‘Not for more than an hour’. Typical Shima.

“And," he continues, pointedly, "I wasn’t upset you ‘got secrets’,” Shima looks out, as if looking for where Yusaku’s eyes had just been. “You act like I’m too stupid to understand stuff.”

“I don’t think you’re stupid,” Yusaku’s quick to deny. Something about what Shima said twists a knot in his chest. “I think you’re overexcitable and you don’t always think things through, and-”

“Sounds like a stupid guy to me,” Shima interrupts with a frown. 

Yusaku’s mouth is stuck open from that, having no course correction for that comment.

Shima, not Typical Shima, stands up. He’s not looking at Yusaku. His fists go into his pockets.

“Whatever,” He shrugs. “See you at school.”

With too straight a gait, Shima walks with a tremble. It quickly gives way into a bursting sprint once he can’t hold it back. And Yusaku is the coward who doesn’t stop him.

--[Wedding Soup (Chapter 2)]--

(Context: after a sleepless night and wrestless workday, Ryou's sunset afternoon ends with many... many tsuchinoko in the backyard. They are notorious liars, known for their penchant for drinking and a deadly bite.)

“And I didn’t even get a chance to answer, the cashier just went,” Ryou pauses, as another dizzy spell hits him. “ ‘Cash or Card’.” With an offended sniff, he takes another long drink of tea - black and intense and brewed with double the teaspoons to make sure it keeps him awake. Ryou sets the mug down with a huff. “As if I’m doing something burdensome by personally restoring a cultural landmark.” 

“This is a nice trap,” One of the tsuchinoko says from the writhing ball. 

“It was certainly the nicest there,” Ryou says. “Not too painful, is it?”

“Agonizing!”

“Oh good, you wouldn’t believe how awful the others looked.” At the corner of his eye, Ryou spies another one slithering towards a covered trap. If the others are aware, they’re just as keen to warn it as Ryou is. “I even looked some up before I went out -  for every humane trap I found in that place, there were ten more glue traps.”

“Sounds fun!”

“I know. I swear, the heartlessness of some people--”

A snap, a yelp, then the frantic rattling of metal as the tsuchinoko flings itself across the trap cage. Ryou dons his thick gloves again, getting up from his spot on the back porch. “Here, here,” he says softly. One hand holds the snake firmly by the back of its tiny head, the other taking the flat bottom of the small cage. He lifts it from the ground, quickly shifts it to the larger tank, and tilts it before opening the flap. 

“In you go.”

--[Gore Couture]--

“Just last week, residents of rural Blood Gulch reported screaming around 2 AM. Police responded within minutes of the third report, but were only able to narrow down the location an hour after arriving on the scene. When officers arrived, they found no body, but confirmed the presence of human blood and organ tissue.”

“Can this schmuck emphasize any more words?” Isaac leaned against the break room counter, watching up at the screen.

“This isn’t a gossip channel,” Mason Wu’s stressed tone signaled agreement. “Someone’s missing at least a liter of blood.”

The television at the station at least showed part of his work on the news, a brief interior look into the storage cubicle. Without the corpse in the arranged outline, there were only blood splatters, disarrayed furniture and a signature - Gore Couture by Felíx.

Maybe the accent on the ‘i’ was a bit much.

“A liter?” Isaac gaped. “Ho-o-oly shit.”

“You’re a damn sociopath,” Wu whipped back to glare. “You do know you’re on thin ice for being a no-show that night--”

“I told you already,” Isaac shrugged. His coffee sloshed dangerously close to the rim of his mug. “I was with somebody.” It wasn’t a lie - Isaac was with abody.

[monstersw1thv1bes]

I like to think bojack would be a good parent at first. he really starts out with the best intentions. and in the aspect he really struggles with, babies are easy. because you need to keep a baby alive, but you don't need to talk it through any emotional instability. it doesn't question you or judge you. a young child loves you unconditionally.

bojack is good at keeping a baby alive and would do anything to do so (proven in the show). he thinks he might have this parenting thing down pat. he doesn't realize that it's going to get harder. he doesn't realize that baby is going to become a kid who constantly asks questions, and then a teenager who yells at him and slams doors in his face and who will constantly make him feel like he's doing something wrong.

I think when his kid is young, things aren't that bad. he's still just focusing on keeping it alive and he is intent on having a healthier emotional relationship with his child than he had with his parents. but kids eventually start to question their parents. bojack's kid goes from "my daddy says xyz and my daddy is always right" to "why do you have to be so embarrassing" seemingly overnight, and that's where it really goes wrong.

because bojack never got the help he needed. he is not equipped to deal with someone who is constantly scrutinizing his actions and talking back at him and making him feel bad about himself. by the time his kid becomes a teenager they are probably fighting all the time. and somewhere along the way bojack is going to go off the handle and slide into all his bad habits: alcohol, drugs, meaningless sex.

depending on the kid's personality, that kid is either going to move out at 18 and go no contact, or try and have a relationship with bojack again when they're older and realize what shit mental health their father had. but either way they're not going to look back on their childhood and think "Yeah, that was fine and emotionally healthy".

and the cycle of trauma continues.