#probably it doesn't help the fact that I'm also socially awkward so i don't really know what to say sometimes and ughhhh

[odetoyoon]

i want to interact so bad here but i more often than not feel shy to approach anyone or i keep thinking they're not gonna answer me OR am afraid to say something wrong bc English is not my first language t.t

[ghxstlike]

in hiding

synopsis: he finds you crying and comforts you.

featuring: dan heng & aventurine (seperate)

content: sfw. comfort, pre-established relationship, dan heng has feelings for reader, tiny bit of flirting/compliments from aventurine, aventurine is kinda awkward, social anxiety (aventurine), anxiety attack (aventurine), reader’s gender isn’t specified, not proofread.

author's note: this is super self-indulgent lol. also this is the first time i’ve ever written these characters, so i apologize if they seem ooc! this also has been buried deep within my drafts- i finished this MONTHS ago….i felt too nervous to post it 😭 anywho, enjoy!

dan heng

you're another member of the astral express crew.

you've known dan heng enough to get the gist of his distant personality, even though you find him slightly intimidating.

you still managed to develop a crush on the guy, so he can't be that intimidating.

anyway, dan heng was tasked to go and 'fetch' you (pom pom's words) so all of you could eat dinner.

you’re usually in ‘his’ room, reading a book on his makeshift bed. when he enters said room and doesn’t see you, he grows a little worried.

in fact, now that he thinks about it, he hasn’t seen you in days. now, he’s really worried.

the only other place that you'd be is in your room.

when he finds you in your room, his heart sinks.

intensely worried about you the moment he realizes you're crying.

type of guy to immediately jump into action. he's not aggressive about it, no, he's gentle.

softly sits beside you where you're on your bed, his hand reaching out to touch you while asking to do so.

if you say no, he obviously listens to your wishes. would not want to harm you or make you uncomfortable while you're in this state.

he sits there, watching you cry in silence. it's a little awkward, having him watch you cry, but he doesn't know what else to do. he doesn't want to ruin anything.

he says a few things to try and calm your crying down.

"let it all out."

"it's okay, you're safe."

"i'm here for you."

if you say yes, his hand comes up to rub your back gently, making you scoot closer to him. also says comforting words in this moment as well.

after you're done crying, he listens intently if you start to talk about what is bothering you.

man's just wants you to feel better.

"i'm sorry," you mumble, wiping your snot with the back of your hand. you don't see it, but dan heng shakes his head while he smiles softly at you.

"no need to apologize." his deep, monotone voice instantly calms your nerves. "crying can be helpful to some. don't worry about it." he places a hand on your head, ruffling your hair ever so slightly. you sigh, then sniffle. even though he said it was okay, you still feel a little ashamed at yourself. you almost feel embarrassed. you sort-of know what you look like while crying, and you know it isn't pretty. your heart soars with discomfort as you realize that dan heng has witnessed you at one of your lowest moments in life.

"gosh, i probably look like a mess right now." you croak out, a dry laugh following short after. you try to wipe the dried tears off your cheeks but to no avail. you'll have to wash it off with some cold water later. you hear dan heng hum, which catches your attention. your eyes look into dan heng's. you notice how dan heng's blue eyes soften at your stare.

dan heng's hand reaches out to a strand of hair that's in the way of your face, pulling it back behind your ear. you feel your face heat up, and your heart skips a beat at the intimate eye contact. you notice how dan heng’s face is in a similar predicament to yours; a light pink blush covers his cheeks and the tips of his ears.

"you don't," he whispers. "you're beautiful."

aventurine

guy doesn't know how to comfort other people.

type of person to let the person cry it out by themself, then come back later with gifts.

i've seen a headcanon where aventurine is bad at comforting other people due to his past trauma and i truly believe it.

aventurine can rarely take stuff seriously, what makes you think he can comfort someone?

anywho. he finds you curled up into a ball in an alleyway in penacony. he heard the sobs come from a mile away and was curious at what the sound was.

he honestly thought it was a stray cat.

he's seen you around before. yeah, he remembers! you walked up to him at the bar and complimented his outfit, telling him he looked like a peacock.

he thought that it was very cute when you blushed, explaining you didn't mean to say that outloud and kept apologizing.

but now here you are, sitting on the gross ground of the alleyway with your chin propped up on your knees, crying your eyes out.

aventurine bites his lip, trying to figure out if he wants to help you or just leave you alone.

but that's when you placed your hand flat on your chest, and he noticed how you began to breathe heavily.

he knows exactly what's happening, and he can't leave you alone now.

"hey, breathe. you need to breathe."

you hear a somewhat familiar voice call out to you, but it seems so far away. you don't understand what he says and try to brush it off. though, he doesn't go away. his legs are in your line of sight, and he doesn't seem to be moving. you watch as he crouches down, his hands shakily reach towards yours.

"i'm gonna touch you, okay?" he gulps, almost flinching at the skin-to-skin contact. you don't answer, you just continue to hyperventilate as your wide eyes dart across the environment around you. the man seems to notice this and blocks your field of vision with his face.

"y-you- you're-" you try to get out, but all you can manage is a few hiccupped mumbles. the man in front of you smiles.

"hi again." you can clearly hear his smooth voice now. "can you take a deep breath for me? i'll do it with you." you nod, looking into his multi-colored eyes. they're so pretty.

you follow his actions- breathe in for 4 seconds, pause for 4 seconds, breathe out for 4 seconds. you both repeat this a few more times until your breath doesn't sound choppy or uneven.

silence overcomes the two of you. your eyes glance down at your intertwined hands, then back up at the man in front of you. suddenly realizing he's still holding your hands; he quickly drops them from his grasp while clearing his throat.

"you alright?" he says softly. his eyes glance down at your body, trying to see if you're hurt anywhere. your words interrupt him.

"no, i'm fine now," you sniffle. "thank you, um.." you pause, waiting for the man to give you his name.

"aventurine. it's no problem." aventurine shrugs. he stands up quickly, holding a hand out for you to take. "now, can i get you a drink? you must be dehydrated." his gloved fingers wiggle slightly, encouraging you to take his hand.

he grins down at you, "you can also tell me why you were sobbing in the alleyway." you chuckle at his words.

without another thought, you take aventurine's hand.

[questionablecuttlefish]

Ezreal's kinda great actually.

Ez is a champ I used to love to hate, but he grew on me because once you get past his arrogant showboating e-boy wannabe shonen protagonist energy (and boy is it a lot) the fact that his entire ... the above thing is a masquerade for a lonely young man who blames himself for being abandoned by his parents is....wow ouch.

His backstory…oof, give that boy a hug. IDC what Christian Linke says, he would be fine in an Arcane-like show if you leaned into his bravado being a mask for loss.

I know we all rag on his crush on Lux, it's basically a running joke at this point but it's also an interesting bit of characterization…like the rest of his cocky adventurer persona it's completely superficial, he doesn't know anything about her except that she's blonde and pretty, and she doesn't know who he is.

And ofc they can't really work as a romance because Lux has SO MUCH GOING ON that has nothing to do with Ezreal, and her story is firmly grounded in Demacia, her family, and the plight of the Demacian mages, while Ezreal's story is all about his globetrotting adventures, his tomb raiding, his search for his parents.

If he stays with her, his story ends, if she goes with him, her story ends. They could in theory be a cute Disney protagonist romance, but the incompatibility of their storylines and the way Riot has spent probably over a decade now playing his feelings for laughs as a cringe, nigh-stalkery crush and her complete disinterest doesn't bode well for any kind of actual relationship coming of it.

It's not an evilbadtoxic ship by any means, it's just, imo, a bit of a nothingburger without enough actual connection or chemistry to make it worth sacrificing both characters for 'the ship'.

So the crush is funny (and Jarro Lightfeather is hysterical) but a critical part of an Ezreal character arc would be getting over it and moving on, imo. You don't give a guy a shallow stalker crush and then reward him with 'getting the girl' and call it character development, it's only character development if he doesn't.

Ez is at his most interesting when you can see the glimmers of him getting over himself and being the genuine hero he could be. (turning back to help Kai'Sa in Warriors is a good example).

I could really, really enjoy an Ezreal show where he ends up in a fun little D&D party with Kai'Sa and Taliyah running around Shurima exploring ancient ruins and battling Void horrors. I would LIVE for the comedic value of Ezreal being the most annoying showboaty jackass he possibly could be ("Ha ha! It's ALL skill") trying to impress the intimidatingly baddass Kai'Sa, whilst she's just so deadpan Raised By Wolves socially awkward killing-machine-trying-to-reconnect-to-humanity that she just takes him completely in stride.

Ez getting increasingly ridiculous in his antics and just completely failing to either impress OR annoy Kai'Sa would be just comedy gold, imo. Alternatively, getting back into the 'canon bi route' and my Ezko agenda, he he, Ezreal and Ekko actually make a really interesting pairing in the main timeline because

They've got a LITTLE bit of that oil-and-water energy with Ezreal being a Piltie, but he's an adventurous, inquisitive Piltie who isn't afraid to get his hands dirty, so Ekko would appreciate that even as he was giving the guy MASSIVE sideeye for all the cultural theft.

Ezreal would annoy the shit out of Ekko, since he's such a damn poser and Ekko is such a genuine, grounded guy.

They're both very, very intelligent, though, and they're both big fat nerds. Ekko is much more on the genius tinkerer and inventor science nerd end and Ezreal much more on the lore, culture, history nerd end, but they are both big nerds.

I think Ezreal would be just in awe of Ekko from the moment they met. 'This guy is so f'cking COOL how do i get him to think I'm COOL' and then drive Ekko up the wall overcompensating trying to get his attention/approval but coming off as being hypercompetitive and showboaty.

But if Ekko (especially League Ekko, whose parents are such a big part of his story) gets a whiff of Ezreal's past and his parents, he's going to start seeing through Ez's masquerade very quick, and if there's one thing Ekko is, it's a compassionate person, a carer, who just wants to help.

The boys could bond over shared adventurers plumbing the depths of Zaun for some secret mystery hidden in the ruins of Oshra Va'Zaun that could potentially be a threat to Zaun or the Firelights, and that Ezreal has an archaeologist's interest in.

You get all the back-and-forth dynamic, conflict, bickering, and slow burn affection that make Ezko a fantastic ship.

I might just write this.

[pastorfutureletthembe]

If you don't mind me asking, what do you think are Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi’s greatest personality strengths and weaknesses? Why? What do you love about their dynamic? What are your favorite headcanons of them? Also, why do you love Link Click (like what is it that made the series special to you)? Sorry if I ask too much....

Ooh so many things to say, I apologize in advance for the wall of text haha

Let's see~

Lu Guang is too practical and one-minded. I think he has the ability to focus on only one thing at the same, because he is a very dedicated person, but also stubborn in his own way. Being a scorpio, he tends to feel a lot and comparmentizing or dissociating could be a defensive mechanism. I think that's his biggest flaw as a person. As a character, I think he's sometimes too much of an introvert to let on any information we don't already know. Yingdu Chapter is showing us so much more, because that's obviously a younger version of him. Time really took a toll on him. His greatest strength is that he doesn't give up, he finishes what he starts and I want to believe he has the maturity to recoginze his accomplishment despite having strong expectations. As a character, his most awesome feature is he's an unreliable narrator. I strongly feel about those, because they're so rare, honestly.

Cheng Xiaoshi feels, sees and experiences things in a unique way, with his whole self. I find it charming. Is it strength or weakness? Honestly don't know, but that's worth mentioning because he makes choices with his heart. That makes a good character out of him. He reminds me of Watanuki (xxxHolic); what he shows to the world is not what he is or what he feels, he struggles to find his place in a world that rejected him so early on, and that often goes with self-sacrifice. I think his biggest flaw as a person is that he is socially inapt haha but in a cute and childlish way. I love that he's socially awkward but has actual ambition? He's so creative but he needs Lu Guang's face to make things happen. He doesn't believe in himself enough while being loud about his qualities. It only makes him a more complex character but, yeah, as a man, it's a tough life haha. But that's what makes him loyal and genuine too. And the reason why he's all over Lu Guang whenever he gets the chance lmao.

HEADCANONS

I many many specific headcanons for them. You are not ready.

I'm conviced that Lu Guang is actually so weak. Not only his strength, but like, his body is constantly working against him, with constant back or neck pain despite his young age, anemia and probably low tolerance to spice and alcohol (I like to think he's a sad/whiny drunk). I think he doesn't eat much because he doesn't have any emotional bond with food (no madeleine de proust for this guy) so he doesn't particularly enjoy the act of eating as much as the fact Cheng Xiaoshi is alive to cook for him. But he has a sweet tooth! My ultimate headcanon regarding Lu Guang is that he wasn't the way we know him at all in the original timeline. I imagine he used to match Cheng Xiaoshi's energy a bit more. I find him very tame for a scorpio to be honest. We'll see~

The newest headcanon is that Cheng Xiaoshi has always been a restless sleeper. I think he always loved photography, probably because it was part of his parents' work or maybe he was praised for his pictures by classmates. Being an ARIES myself, I do recognize his dedication in things he puts himself in but is kind of lazy for things he has no interest in. He likes cooking, and this too must be linked to his mother. I imagine he used to help her when she prepared a meal. People tend to think he has abandonment issues and is kind of clingy to Lu Guang because of it, but flashbacks showed that he always was a whiny kid in need for attention (that's a good mother's boy haha *affectionate*).

On a more NSFW note, I know a huge part of the fandom identifies them on the asexual or aromantic spectrum. I don't know about that. I see what they see, but I don't think that's the whole story. I do think they can both be sexually active and enjoy sex as a way to express support and care. Cheng Xiaoshi reminds me of myself a lot. Being demi-sexual myself, I need strong intimacy and trust to be attracted to someone and feel safe with them so I guess I imagine their relationship to be this way because all of it is unrevocably there. I imagine that loving or touching Lu Guang wouldn't be enough for him, he would definitely workship him in a very intense and beautiful way. Lu Guang would probably be a quiet lover but eager, because of the dreading feeling of grief.

They would be very secretive about their private life. I'm pretty sure they were lovers in the first timeline but Lu Guang didn't want to make everything too complicated and decided not to get more emotionally compromised. Of course, as you can see in Yingdu Chapter, Cheng Xiaoshi makes it very difficult.

WHY I LOVE LINK CLICK

I came for the doomed gay, I stayed for the slice of life, I'll die for the tragic paradox and I'll dig six feet underground for hidden secrets. "The Time Traveler breaking time and space for his deadwife" memes brought me here actually hahaha

The post-modernist approach is what got me obsessed by the way hahahaha Does it make sense? The fact forshadowings are easter eggs in freaking merch? Mindblowning. I always felt like I couldn't get enough of my favorite shows, but Link Click delivers so well and I actually struggle to keep up for the first time of my life.

As a show, Link Click is beautiful to watch and I appreciate the strong cultural influences. The music got me in a chokehold as well, I never ever skipped the opening.

The fact the girls aren't mere girls but actual characters too. Qiao Ling has never been a possible love interest and that's strangly refreshing. No love triangle, just a family. That's my favorite part of the show. I fell in love with the first episode because of Emma. She still has a special spot in my heart.

And because it didn't lose time explaining anything, we literally dived right into the action (that's LCLA's biggest flaw, it wants to explain everything in details when they don't even know what's the deal with their powers lmao). The storytelling is clever, easy to follow, and the secondary characters are all so fleshed out.

Strangely enough, Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang's relationship isn't actually what I love the most about the show. And I do love them, as a pair, as stupid bff, as partners in crime, as almost lovers. But the fandom and I have a different view on the matter so I'm very dissatisfied with fanfictions so far. Me, I love the get together trope, preferably in angsty settings, but it seems they are so gay and tragic for each other in the canon that angst and slow burn aren't popular among the writers lmao. I mean, they are very gay in the canon as it is after all-

I'm quiet happy with the sharing experience of analyzing metas so far, though!

I started writing my own stories but I won't post anything before it's done.

[httpserb]

okay so while i work on chapter 2 (I'm so sorry its late I'm a highschool senior with 4 ap classes, 2 gifted classes, and insomnia. I'm trying my best i swear) I'm going to give out some content and stuff like things to expect in the fic

this is friendships/relationships that will kage will experience with small explanations :D (these are out of order)

lev & kage - ok so I plan on having miwa and alisa get together so i find it funny if they were awkward but lev immediately attaches to kage and they're like brothers

akaashi & kage & kenma - ok so they're all introverted and i know kenma and akaashi are cool but like i can see akaashi realize kage is mean or angry just really awkward and weird at times so he recommends him to join his and kenma's game nights and one Minecraft world later they're all attached at the hip

atsumu & osamu & kage - originally i think atsu and kage have a rivalry and mutual respect for each other until atsu realizes samu and kage are good friends (bc kage is always eating samu's curry rice balls, he has become samu unofficial food tester lol) and atsu is obvi trying to be the better twin so they end up getting closer at setters like a more equal standing unlike oikawa & kage or suag & kage who were mentors (in a way looking at you sideways oikawa bc your teaching methods were ... interesting [don't misintterupt this i love oikawa])

ushijima & kage - ok so they're both autistic, you'd have to rip that headcannon out my dead cold hands, and i can see ushijima watching kage and realizing 'oh he is like me' and they just connect like bluetooth

kyotani & kage - i actually love them bc they're both similar to me (i also find oikawa and kyotani's relationship interesting as he is in personality and raw talent and skill similar to kage and ik oikawa felt threatened cb kage was a setter but him moving along with you after the kitagawa incident is very interesting tbh) anyways i imagine they'd accidently connect like at the same gym and bond by shitting on oikawa (i imagine he'd want to hit some of kage's kingly tosses too)

yachi & kage - wlw & mlm solidarity, i love them sm, yachi realizing after seeing kage awkwardly attempt to pet a cat that he is really cute but in a sibling or little kid way so she can no longer find him scary but gets protective and explains social situations for him when he doesn't understand

coach ukai & kage - i imagine while coach takeda was hinata's coach, coach ukai was kage's bc he was blunt in a way kage understood and no extra words for needed, plus i like to think they were both very honest which each other so if ukai said kage was messing up he'd be upset but believe him and take a break

kage & tsuki - so i stand by the fact kage is smart but in odd strangely specific ways like physics but not general science and math and tsuki finds out and loses his shit bc kage is lowkey better than him but doesn't do anything with this, this kinda begins their actual friendship tho bc kage gets to talk about physics (esp astrophysic his favorite bc his dad's job [a personal headcannon])

kogane & kage - kogane worshipping the ground kage walks on bc he is such a good setter and kage trying to help teach kogane but he isn't good with words but despite this kogane understands him somehow!?

kuroo & kage - i think kuroo would recognize kage as someone similar to kenma but not only that but as hinata's best friend and as kenma's best friend who is friends with hinata he'd do some mental math to become kage's friend. plus i think he'd (like tsuki) recognize kage is dumb, but smart in different ways and try to draw it out of him (he also finds it funny to adopt/befriend all the karasuno first years [he has plans for yachi & yama])

tendou & kage - took one look and thought him and ushijima are of the same breed so he could befriend him (probably) but other than that i think tendou being seen as scary or freakish, even being referred to as a monster could relate to kage and his king od the court incident so maybe they'd bond through that

ok that is all i can think of rn and if a friendship isn't on here it's because it probably something I'm already going to do. this list was mostly headcannon or me taking a small relationship, blowing it up, then putting it under a microscope for personal enjoyment

(here is some food: @youwerethedefeated @infinitemilk @ushouldwatchhaikyuu @kagehiner @cosmorom @greynoceur @pixiesnooze @kagehiner )

[sabi0229]

Darius analysis of season 2

So in someone's review for the new season they mentioned that Darius wasn't really active as a character which I sort of agree on and they also said that he's trying to be social which actually got me sort of thinking. In season 1 of chaos theory it started with Darius and it was mostly focused on him grieving about Brooklyn so for season 2 I think they just wanted to move and show into more depth of the other characters and how they are dealing with their emotions with all this chaos happening.

So with Darius in season 1 he was isolated for a very long time I think because Brooklyn's death is probably like months months ago maybe it was like giving a year who knows I don't know the exact time length but given darius's encounter with the bend in episode 1 gave me the idea that he was alone for a while isolated just complete isolated even with the call with his brother it made sense to me that he talked to no one for months so he was away from society not very social and then he had to go on a car ride with Ben and they went all over and started to interact so I think in season 2 with zanya don't know if I'm spelling her name right probably not.

He tries to talk with her more even though he's awkward he is trying I think he is his little social butterfly self again it's very similar to season 1 of camp Cretaceous where he was basically locked up in his room ever since his dad died which was probably also months ago or maybe almost a year soon and his brother mentions that he never leaves his room exactly how he said he never leaves his cabin and he wasn't social and he was very awkward in the first few episodes meaning he was going back to society and trying to be social again so I think this is just another reset for Darius trying to become more social again and becoming more social means just saying anything that comes to his mind which is why I think he started blabbering about dinosaur facts again I'm not complaining I was so happy that he started talking about dinosaur facts again

because I remember on one post I said I really hope he did the dinosaur facts again I predicted it hahaha so happy that he actually started talking about dinosaur facts again. it did kind of annoy me though that Zanya sort of ruined some moments about it but I get it because she's actually also living with dinosaurs and her dad's kind of a little nerd too but when she mentioned about showing off I really don't think that was Darius showing off what he knows I think that was just him being his little social awkward self not knowing what to say and that's what he just says cuz that's what he knows best to start a conversation.

I think the whole experience in this season for him was not making sense to him in some sort of way his eyes kept giving the emotion of unsettling like he just didn't know what was going on it reminded me of season 5 of camp Cretaceous where can Kenji betrayed him and he didn't know what to do and he just shut down this is what it is really reminding me about especially in episode 8 or 9 where he found out about Ben knowing Brooklyn is alive. He just stood there and it really reminded me of when the group was fighting over Kenji who's really at fault was it his dad or him and he just stood there not giving crap but in reality in his mind he is going through all of this stuff but doesn't show it because in his mind he's also telling himself that he has to stay strong and if he breaks down then he knows he cannot help the others if he is weak

Along with the fact when he found out that Brooklyn was alive I also think that in his mind he was possibly thinking he was going crazy because after they got out of the create he started to believe that it was someone looking like her meaning he probably thought he was hallucinating from the adrenaline because it is possible sometimes too hallucinate from adrenaline and reminder he just got chased by the amazing eyeless baryonyx which I think should have more screen time so he is still pumped full of adrenaline and he probably is thinking this is the broker and a girl that looks exactly like Brooklyn and I probably going crazy yes. But later he finds out that she is not a random person that its actually Brooklyn not someone that looks like her so he's like okay I'm not crazy but I'm not okay

I also think that it's really great how they put kenjis and Darius brother relationship back it felt so good to see them being Brothers again that there was just no hatred and they are actually experiencing the most pain probably out of everyone sort of everyone is going through their own thing but I think like Brooklyn's death affected them the most in my opinion of course because they both loved Brooklyn and they both really didn't know what to do I mean they both isolated themselves they literally live in the middle of nowhere have you noticed that

So with the ending they are probably going to be talking about this a lot they are going to be processing a lot and they are going to show different ways of expressing their emotions.

Kenji is the brother that has visible emotions he shows his anger, and when he's upset he lashes out. He shows his emotions well not all emotions for example when he was sad about his father's death he tried to cover it up but I meant more as of it in anger way that he shows his emotions but for Darius he doesn't really show his emotions so one will be suppressing them like he usually does and the other will be just lashing out so for season 3 I think we're just going to possibly get a lot of Kenji outbreaks and Darius just dissociating overthinking everything that is my opinion and my prediction for season 3.

I also want to see more interaction with Darius and yazz because she went immediately to him when she knows something was wrong with Kenji I mean she's a psychology major so she will notice things wrong with people so in season 3 she's probably going to notice how Darius and Kenji were more affected and she will probably try to talk to them. Darius is easy to open up to some people I really think that there's a possibility that he is just going to straight up lie about his feelings and season 3 like I just have like this gut feeling that he's going to be like I'm fine and has a completely different expression on his face

Okay I sort of got sidetracked here but I am going to do the rest of the Nublar 6 analysis reviews

Also when did I become a therapist just analyzing everything I think that's a bit too extreme of me but I just really like to analyze characters and just give out my opinion

so there will be more characters and if there is something you want me to analyze and just talk about and by talk I mean rant I will totally do that because I absolutely love analyzing stuff and ranting about it I absolutely love it

[g0nta-g0kuhara]

Gonta Character Thoughts

Someone asked me earlier today for some Gonta writing tips, and while I don't know fully how useful this wall of text is for that, it let me talk about Gonta as a character and about his motivations that I think some folks might appreciate either as people who like him or people who want to understand better why I'm so insane about him. It was also really fun to pull together my thoughts on him so I wanted to share!!

The main thing for me is that Gonta is pretty confident with himself when it comes to any situation that requires physical might. When it comes to lifting heavy things or fighting for his friends, Gonta is at ease and doesn't need to hesitate to consider if he Can do the thing. On the other hand, where he's a bit more nervous or hesitant is social situations. He's unfamiliar with and misses a lot of social cues and ends up stumbling and hesitant in situations he's never been in before (like class trials at the beginning of v3). In these situations he might look to follow someone's lead or even directly ask for help.

On the topic of familiarity, Gonta is also very well versed in knowledge related to bugs and survival, as well as nature, especially in the forest where he grew up. He is not very familiar with a lot of things other characters would take for granted as common knowledge (like computers, if its relevant at all he probably doesn't know much kanji). Gonta isn't Dumb but he is missing a cultural baseline for a lot of references and info that makes him struggle where other characters will have no issues.

Gonta's convinced that he's stupid because he lacks this baseline, and because of the reinforcement and teasing by those around him. He has pretty severe self-esteem problems, and he's convinced that all he's good for is his physical strength, as that's all people seem to value him for anyways. This led to a pretty bad complex during the killing game where he blamed himself for every single death ("if gonta could have just protected them this would have never happened. its all gonta's fault") which only got worse and worse. He's desperate to help out and be useful to the group so will go along with a lot if he thinks there's a chance he will be able to help. This is a major driving force for his character, especially in chapter 4.

Gonta is probably good with fine detail work (as he has to be to work with and mount bugs) but also will forget his strength if he gets excited or otherwise forgets himself. Very polite things like holding the door open for someone or offering to take someone's hand to help them down the stairs, or other things like that that aren't necessarily expected in every day life but definitely are of a stereotypical gentleman, Gonta will do whenever he can, but it's a very intentional thing. He might hesitate, remember he should be doing that, then go for it, which can end up a bit awkward. Gonta is very kindhearted by nature, so that will often come through even if he is a bit awkward about being gentleman-level polite. He's trying his best though.

Gonta is also very openly expressive. He can't hide or suppress his emotions very well most of the time, which means he emotes A Lot. He cries more easily than the other boys in v3, or really any of the characters in the v3 cast, and definitely cries more loudly and openly. But on the other hand, when he's happy, he glows.

The one emotion he tries his best to control is anger. A lot of Gonta's social isolation before he got lost (and even after tbh) came from the fact that he was bigger than the other kids and his neutral expression can be a bit intense/scary. He's not hotheaded in the way Kaito might be, but he's very careful with his words and himself when he's upset in this way.

Gonta will also make that intense expression where he grits his teeth and Looks angry when he's stressed or hurt. This can freak out his classmates to the point that he accidentally pushes them away when he needs their reassurance the most. (see: when you talk to gonta during the ch4 investigation, when he's freaking out about not being able to remember what happened and feeling useless, he makes this expression and Kaito gets scared.)

I need to stress though that Gonta is NOT aggressive. Almost every time in game where he considers physical violence as an option, he thinks through it carefully before acting (Defending Kaede before her execution, challenging Monokuma in ch4 before being talked down). A notable exception to this might be kidnapping people for the insect meet and greet, but that was less aggression and more Gonta being in a heightened state of emotion (convinced that everyone hates bugs, which upset him) so forgetting his strength.

Also, it's important to note that Gonta IS sometimes able to hide his emotions and tell lies, but it has to be very intentional and planned ahead of time. He can't suppress his tears at the loss of a classmate, and he can't lie easily (See trial 1 and 2 where Gonta very simply says that yeah he totally could have thrown the shotput ball or tossed ryoma into the tank /physically/, even though admitting this puts a target on his back). However, he was able to hide the truth of the outside world and the fact that he was likely experiencing some really intense emotions at the time from his friends as he and Kokichi executed their plan. Of course, the fact that they were virtual world avatars helps, but its not everything. I think he just has to plan to lie or prepare himself to put on a front in advance.

I know this is super long so just one last thing: Gonta will take a Lot of verbal abuse and teasing if it goes along with his already poor self image. Other characters will call him an idiot and he doesn't even bat an eye because he's convinced of the fact himself. That's why when Kiibo played back the audio recording of Kokichi during the Insect Meet n Greet the part that upset Gonta the most wasn't Kokichi calling him "simple-minded," but instead Kokichi saying that he didn't actually like bugs. He will stand up for himself (carefully, as he always acts when he's angry-upset) if other lines are crossed, though. Like in Ch2 when Kokichi says if Gonta keeps falling for his lies he will end up a victim of the killing game, to which Gonta says something like "Don't say that Kokichi, not even as joke."

I have more I could get into but that teeters more into personal headcanon territory on his friendships and backstory, so I'll hold off. but MAN I love Gonta and I love how genuinely deep his character goes. Its a shame so few people really get into his character beyond "sunshiney bug "himbo" ", there's a lot here that's fun to play with.

[inchidentally]

Why do I feel like Oscar is intentionally keeping Lando at a distance because he assumes it would never work out? And Lando kind of wishes Oscar would show an interest but he isn't so Lando pulls back too? Maybe I'm totally crazy but feels like they're doing a double fake out. If not then why not just be friendly the way they are with other guys?

@twinkodium helped talk me through this ask so a huge thank you to her <3

gonna put below a cut and include some other asks that aren't necessarily of interest to everyone and are kind of in the same vein (note the tag)

okay so "why not just be friendly like they are with other guys" is a pretty good thing to focus on bc when you actually break it down, Lando and Oscar define themselves as being pretty shy and they conceal a fair amount their lives and closest friends from the public. and truth is that it seems to take both of them at least a year of knowing someone before they open up - and even longer before they're as friendly as we see them with guys like Logan, Zhou, Carlos or Daniel. Lando lists the guys he's known since as far back as karting as his closest friends. so after just one season together, what we already have in terms of friendliness between Lando and Oscar is pretty damn good!

but honestly we can't say that either of them are really holding back at all when we've got Andrea and Zak constantly emphasizing how in sync they are and then of course how big they both show up for each other's wins/poles etc. whatever we don't get in terms of fun fandom content, we've got them showing each other mutual respect and support and sharing the same priorities. that's... really good imo.

it's what cracks me up abt everyone who went all 'planetf1 angry white dad in oakleys selfie in a truck comment section' over that recent Oscar quote. Lando's literally had everyone saying the same thing to him, directly and on social media ?? did they also decide that Martin Brundle, Natalie Pinkham, Lawrence Barretto and Jenson Button all despise Lando and want to take swipes at him by saying that his public flagellation feels of no use and worse, that it's probably a hindrance to his mindset? did Lando suddenly became loathed by all these people who SEEM to openly like or love him bc they said that ??

or did they expect Oscar to respond to that question with "oh no yeah it's cool that my teammate who I actually like shits all over himself and gives his haters ammo y'know to each their own whatever man" bc that WOULD actually be incredibly cold and hurtful asgajsgfljasf

I know fandom can go way off track and start expecting these men to talk like fan fic but the truth is that they view each other as professionals and fellow drivers first and friends (if they are) second. I won't repeat myself bc I've posted about it enough but none of the grid are a significant part of Lando or Oscar's life outside F1. Lando and Martin did a stopover in Perth (and apparently Martin even had work there?) for one day to ride dirt bikes at Daniel's ranch and Lando went to Carlos' sisters' gigantic state wedding lol. doesn't compare at all compared to Lando's time spent with Max F, the quadrant folks, his family, his Monaco friends and definitely not Martin Garrix. it also doesn't mean that they're not still friends with those guys on the grid - it's just not the same.

so the fact that Lando and Oscar aren't out here dishing out bromancey stuff where fans can see and hear definitely doesn't say that those bromances mean the drivers are actually any closer. Oscar relied on extroverts like Robert and Arthur to give him something to play off and Lando relied on Carlos and Daniel for the same. so when they're left without a gobby extrovert they do that cute thing of giggling and handing back and forth to each other. to me personally it's always kind of sweet ?? that Lando and Oscar do the thing of looking at each other for support to get through the cringey and awkward to camera stuff. sometimes when Lando is really feeling himself Oscar can just kick back and watch him. and as we saw w that helmet design video, even when Oscar isn't filming w Lando he hangs around offers support.

wow apparently I cannot stay on track today anon but idk I just personally think that it's the opposite of a mutual fakeout and they've bonded pretty well over both being shy, both being equally focused on their careers and also needing to switch off sometimes. finding out they spent the night after Lando's crash in Vegas together sharing "commiserations" is like, one in a long list of us hearing that they chose to hang out alone together and not publicize it.

all of us are on the outside of their friendship and as much as that suuuuucks for not getting as much content as we want, it's also really sweet and kind more likely to be genuine and lasting since they consider a lot of that relationship as private <3

askgfka no prob!! tbh a lot of the stress and anxiety in other Lando ships is down to ppl getting way too comfy w the idea that real life partners either aren't "real" or that they're the only thing standing in the way of their ship becoming real.

and bc for some reason landoscar makes me want to write all of these essays I feel like it's kind of my responsibility to be like yeah, there's even more than just assuming ppl's sexualities and their real life partners stand between two ppl we like to imagine together actually getting together. rpf is heavy on the f and mostly what we're all actually enjoying are friendships. and as someone who is lucky to have them, I personally wouldn't be one of those ppl who said romantic partners and friendships are on some sliding scale of importance. they're just different!

ever since landoscar became a thing, Lily's been in Oscar's life and Lando's been pursued by every man who sees him and burning through baddies on Raya on a literal global scale. it's important to come back from rpf to that fact so we don't end up attraction those legions of people calling real life girlfriends "PR beards" or that Lando's dating app horniness is some front for him meeting up with Carlos or Daniel or whoever lol.

oh I am so not the person to answer abt this since I can't relate to wanting couples to get married or thinking that it's all that significant! I'm a huge romantic and I theoretically enjoy the idea of weddings/marriage but all the ppl I know who've gotten married out of college are already regretting or cheating it so it's put a real damper on it for me.

but that's as much as I want to speculate abt them bc I don't want to put anything out in the universe for ppl I'll never even know !!

[noirvette]

WE NEVER EXISTED

[band smau]

[THIRTEEN]

masterlist.

prev. | next.

Having the whole fiasco of figuring out the venue and then helping Kyle with his weird texter person problem, (of which he still hasn't bothered telling Stan about), and then a few surprisingly calm days, it's finally the day of the concert.

Nichole was loving the open venue, and was quickly styling herself away with simple tables and chairs a bit further out, having those separated by simple fences from the GA area. Currently, her theme for the night was orange and dark blue, the dark blue having some sort of shine when lights hit on them. It was absolutely gorgeous as you watched the test runs of the stage lights against them.

Kyle was doing a bit better, having gotten some sleep you could assume, and he's been busying himself all day by corresponding with another local yet small band that would be opening for you guys tonight. They had just shown up about 20 minutes ago and was going ahead with their sound check, which Kyle was graciously observing.

Clyde was..late again, however he did say he was going to stop and bring back food for everyone so you really couldn't stay mad at him, nor with him bringing back Kyle's favorite fast food, you're sure Kyle wouldn't object much either.

Stan was talking to the venue's owner and he definitely has never been more awkward in his life. At this rate, you're sure Kyle's gonna step over there and free Stan from the shackles of his poor social skills.

Craig, for once, has shown up to take pictures again, you can see him snapping away at some candid shots, those of which he'll probably use for his portfolio, beside him you're shocked to see Tweek, he doesn't tend to follow Craig that often to these rehearsal things, in fact Tweek doesn't come to the concerts much anyways, he attends a few, mainly to be with Craig. Tweek spots you and waves, you return the gesture and you can see Craig snap a photo of Tweek as you do so.

Giggling and turning your head away from them and staring back onto the open space, you let your mind wander again. You've been excited to perform, especially here in South Park, it's always been fun to perform here, the town surprisingly having been your guys' biggest supporters.

Bebe and Wendy should be showing up soon, in fact you wouldn't be surprised if Wendy was already here and you just haven't spotted her yet. Bebe was trying to get Red to come along, it had been a while since you've last seen her, quite literally it was about 3 months ago when you and the other girls managed to squeeze a sleepover day in all of your busy schedules.

Annie said she was coming when Nichole shot her a text, and if Annie is coming usually that means Red would be too.

Your phone dings, bringing you away from your thoughts.

Groaning you call out to Kyle, "Hey, Kyle?" He turns his head, "Heidi isn't showing anymore we can thank Cartman's stupid ass."

He frowns, "Again, is it the podcast?" Seeing you nod he continues, "He made her miss our last show in New York City because of that god awful podcast. Remind me, why is she in that again?"

"Because she feels bad for him or something, also something about how it was technically her podcast first and she'd rather die than let him get away with the rebranding...?" You scratch the back of your neck, tone overall sheepish for not really knowing why.

"Didn't he.. technically get away with the rebranding though? I mean he calls himself the 'creator' of it?" Kyle pointedly asks.

"Yeah I'm not too sure about the whole reasoning either, Kyle. Oh! Hey so Clyde also should be coming back in about an hour? Maybe now like 30 minutes, I'm not sure he texted me a while ago now."

"Well he better, his sound check is at 3:30.. and if he's not here, I'm telling you now, I am NOT stepping in for him."

"You're gonna totally step in for him don't lie to me."

Kyle gives you a deadpan stare before turning back around to helping the locals, leaving you giggling to yourself quietly for a bit.

"Hey, Y/n," Stan says, sitting next to you on the edge of the stage, "You ready for tonight?"

You look up at him, "Oh, yeah, I'm just bummed that Heidi can't make it because of Cartman."

"Yeah.. Wendy mentioned that like 3 minutes ago.. all because of a podcast episode. Christ.." Stan trails off, "Why is he even doing a podcast episode today? Most of the entire town is attending tonight, who's gonna be listening to his podcast?"

"Well..." You check your phone again, "Heidi says he's going live during the set change between the opener and us, and you know how long those take, people are gonna be on their phones and they're bound to tune in for a bit."

Stan runs a hand down his face, "He's always gotta do something shady, aside from that, how are you doing?"

"I've.. been good actually Stan thanks."

"No problem, I've been worried about you since.." He trails off, you never realized how often Stan trails off before in conversations.

You let out an airy laugh, "No worries, Stan, really and I appreciate you checking up on me. However, you should check up on Kyle, have you noticed how tired he's been looking recently?"

Stan throws his hands up in the air, "YOU'VE NOTICED!" He freezes and suddenly realizes how loud that was, coughing into his fist, face red with embarrassment, "Sorry just.. I've tried, Kyle hasn't been the most... comfortable with talking his thoughts and feelings out, you know that. He just... would rather throw himself into his work than let me in.. you know?"

You both watch as Kyle runs back and forth from the stage to the backstage, "Yeah I get what you mean."

"And I've tried! Really I have but he just waves me off and says nothing important is really affecting him and that he'll 'figure it out' God knows how.. he's never figured anything out, well, whenever it comes to his emotions at least."

You shrug in return, "You've let him know you're there for him.. I guess you're gonna have to wait until he comes to you."

Stan nods at that and the two of you sit in a comfortable silence.

Your phone buzzes and you open the notification without checking what the exact notification was for.

Groaning as you realize who tweeted you're about to swipe and close the app before realizing you were tagged in the tweet, over your shoulder Stan takes a peek, "Cartman? What does he want?"

Turning your phone off you shake your head in annoyance and Stan snorts, "What have you done to make Cartman tag you on twitter?"

"He's so delusional I probably pissed him off in a dream or something." You and Stan laugh.

"Y/N! Your guitars are here, can you make sure they're tuned and good to go? If you want you could start early on your preliminary soundcheck." Kyle breaks the laugh attack you and Stan are having.

You give him a thumbs up and he does one back, going back to whatever he was doing just now.

"Well, gotta get this done," You stand up and stretch, "See ya around, Stan."

"Peace."

TAGLIST: @captivq @kimiesstuff @bwljules @the-cooler-kira @1one1person1 @kenny-the-ken @neenieweenie @n0tangeliccc @frogindisguise @revzxn @mirophobic @gonefiishiing @musiclovebot @bootsieboo @bonez4brainz @s0l4riss @1996kj @sweetadonisbutbetter @scinclaitnoir

[paxesoterica]

Started catching up on Delicious in Dungeon/Dungeon Meshi watching (from just before the fight with the Red Dragon to Laios's party parting ways with Toshiro and Kabru).

>I've seen spoilers before about the party finding Falin and the resurrection ritual, but my goodness I still got chills watching it firsthand.

>I may or may not have been twirling a lock of hair around my finger, kicking my feet, and giggling while watching Marcille, dressed in blood-drenched robes, matter-of-factly explain that she's secretly a specialist in forbidden magic, and that she'd be using it to bring Falin back.

>Chilchuck seems to be a bit of tsun.

>Marcille you fool! Falin is *not* a little kid anymore and does *not* want you to see her as such! sigh I suppose even powerful mages can still be useless lesbians (yes I've heard there's some background trauma there too, but I haven't got that far yet, so shhh).

>I love terrifying and surreal imagery.

>I know for a fact Chilchuck is a dad with adult daughters so I can only imagine the sheer embarrassment as Senshi gave him The Talk.

>Poor Falin. : (

>Of course they used petrified!Marcille to help with food prep.

> Okay, now that I've gotten to know more about Kabru: Kabru × Laios shippers? I see your vision.

> Falin as a spellcasting dragon-griffon hybrid is pretty damn dangerous! No wonder Toshiro and Laios argued about what to do.

>WHOAH, HEY!

>So, I know there's apparently been a lot of Discourse(TM) about the fight between Laios and Toshiro, and honestly, I'm not sure why: one's socially awkward because he has trouble with social cues and understanding people when they're being indirect, the other's socially awkward because he can't speak his mind and bottles his feelings to avoid conflict. The whole thing made me more sad than anything else, but at least there seems to be hope that their friendship is salvageable.

>Kabru you silly goose! If only you hadn't been recovering from, y'know, being dead, you could have overheard Laios and Toshiro hashing things out and realized you don't need to fake it to get on Laios's good side! I hope he doesn't feel too disconcerted when he realizes he could probably have even avoided disclosing whatever background trauma he has and just said eating monsters makes him uncomfortable, and still been accepted by Laios. Hopefully he'll avoid making similar mistakes to Toshiro in his relationship with Laios.

>A couple things I will criticize Toshiro for: I don't think he's suitable for Falin, not because he's a bad guy, but because I think that, either he doesn't really understand her or he's too willing to overlook that she has similar quirks to her brother, and so any marriage would not be as happy as he'd suppose, and he'd just end up bottling up his real feelings about it again. This may not seem too dissimilar to how Marcille also tends to ignore Falin having similar quirks to Laios, and I wouldn't be surprised if the contrast wasn't deliberate, but in Marcille's case, she's shown a willingness to try to work with Laios at his level, and gradually seems to be respecting him more, and hopefully that will lead her to being more honest about how she views Falin, which will ultimately strengthen their bond.

>The other thing is that leaving a party member like Asebi behind is pretty callous (even if I can appreciate that searching for her is dangerous in the group's current circumstances). I haven't seen much, if any, fandom talk about Asebi, so I'm guessing she's not a major character, but I hope that's because Laios's party is somehow able to return her to the surface over the course of a single episode, and not because the party finds her as monster chow.

>My current observations about the show suggest that the cast is a bunch of socially awkward people driven by intense passion for their special interests, so it's small wonder that it's become popular.

[cuppa-ale]

I really wish that I was more interested in things. More invested and curious w/o someone needing to show it to me directly. Right now, I feel like it's really difficult because no matter what I do, I feel empty and lonely and it feels like a self-perpetuating cycle.

I want to be enthusiastic and into things, but I feel like I'm going to be abandoned or shrugged off and I can't shake that lonely feeling that makes me feel sick. And yet I also know that I can't be part of anything or get other people interested if I'm not interested, but I feel so sick because of the loneliness that I don't even want to try for fear of hurting myself more, and it loops all around. I don't want to think this way. Sometimes I don't, but it always comes back.

I feel like I desperately want to ask for validation and attention, yet I feel dumb because of that- yet I would never begrudge anyone else for wanting the same. I actually wish that people were more upfront like that, because it's normal to want those things, and no one can know if you don't speak up. Sometimes people just don't know or are socially awkward, speaking from experience. And I'm often left wondering and guessing about what I can or can't do, so somebody being upfront would be so, so massively helpful.

And yet I also know why I try to keep most people at arms' length too- I feel so afraid that I can't trust them to not hurt or abandon me or someone else for liking a character or a ship or whatever that they don't. And that may sound dumb as hell (because it is) but that also makes it extremely hard to find community or camaraderie in fan or hobby circles in general. There is always, always a hint of doubt in my mind and I hate it. I don't want to go through that again. God, I don't want to go through that again.

And I worry that I don't have much to offer another person bc of how sincerely exhausted and hermited I am.

I feel overworked and overwhelmed in my daily life. Even if I could get past this anxiety, I barely have time for anything outside of manual labor, housekeeping, caretaking, and yet I still feel like a disappointment and that I could be doing more if my brain wasn't so fucked up.

I am so tired. And I feel like I really don't have an escape or outlet. I feel so mediocre and selfish because I want so badly for someone to hold me and pay attention to me and help me and remind me that I'm not a lost cause piece of trash. But I'm also very aware of the fact that nobody can fix me or make my problems go away. I feel like I'm not happy no matter what and that scares me.

I feel like it also doesn't even matter what I do or don't do because no one is paying attention. That's probably really stupid too, but that's the mindset I get sometimes. I don't like thinking that way either.

I don't want to do things for the sake of attention or validation because that's not the reason why I do them, and I never ever want that to be the reason why. And yet I know that's what I crave, and it always rears its ugly head.

I believe that this is part of why I like Crayzar and Tyetaynus so much- Tyetaynus has been implied to be obsessed with Crayzar for years, hunting him down and "making him pay" for leaving him- but meanwhile, Crayzar just seems to not give a shit about his brother, and I think there's so much angst and drama and shit you can pull from that it's nuts. And so I really really want to make art that explores that bc I find Tyetaynus to be a super cathartic character and I want to express that "grief of what never came to be", "all i wanted was you", "I'm going to make you hurt like you made me hurt", and anger and all of those emotions and I hope it comes through, but I may as well talk about it here bc it actually makes me feel sane.

So I try to redirect those feelings into art and characters and stories in general, because idk what else to do with them. But it worries me bc again, it makes it so, so difficult to just be chill and relax and feel like I can indulge or be curious about something bc I have this horrible, paranoid, looming feeling at all times that something is very wrong and that the something wrong is me and that everyone thinks it. (even if that's not the case. I fully believe that I suffer from paranoid delusions bc I've been affected by them so, so bad, only to find that it's unfounded or I'm just being dumb. I just want someone to tell me unequivocally at all times that everything is okay and I'm okay, and sometimes that's all I can think about.)

All I want to do is make stuff at the end of the day. The one thing I want to do above all else is make stuff, even if I have to find the time from being overworked and exhausted and sick. Even if I have to make myself sick while doing so, that is the very 1 one thing I want to do in this world before I leave it.

I want to work on the doll commission I started work on recently. I want to continue working on my OCs and preparations for my first original comic. I want to tell their stories. I want to draw weird and mushy and complicated ship art. I want to draw my brain wife. I want to draw silly self-inserts and whatever other trivial thing I can think of. I want to make gifts for my friends.

I want to keep going and I want to keep doing that no matter what. That's all I want to do. I have no choice. I want to make stuff and I want to share it and I want to keep doing that until I die, or until I no longer can.

[poopyballz28]

(my) Kiyosumi Katou Character Analysis

This one's a long one so strap in, gang. The alt text on the images gives more context to what I'm talking about too, by the way 👍

starting off with,

Personality

I think it's pretty evident that Kiyosumi is not the...nicest or most caring person out there. He's shown to hurt (or attempt to hurt) others with no second-thought or remorse for his actions, indirectly showing his overall arrogance and unsympathetic behavior. I can't even show a fraction of him having outbursts of anger or something of the like because of how often it happens.

But we can't talk about Kiyosumi if we don't mention his cocky attitude and humorous nature. He's shown multiple times giving smug smiles and doing a little bit of teasing throughout his few shown spars. It can be pretty heavily deducted from an outsiders perspective that he's awfully confident in himself and his abilities. Though, whether he truly is can be debated.

What can be clearly deduced from most everything is his general self-centered nature, going out of his way just to do things the way he wants to do them. He even leaves the dojo to go join the yakuza for the sole purpose he can hurt others without any repercussions. Because in his mind, the one who matters most is himself. What can also be heavily deduced is his status on body count. I'm basically saying he's most likely killed a few people, especially during his time in the yakuza.

Another thing which is also pretty evident is his almost sadistic way of fighting others. He really enjoys sparring, or more precisely, hurting other people in a way that makes him feel good about himself. We can determine that he really likes to be above an opponent, to have power over an opponent. Perhaps being superior helps him forget how inferior he truly believes himself to be. Though, this'll be expanded on soon.

A small thing that I personally find out of character for him in some character writings is making him more social and outgoing than I believe he truly is. He can be outgoing, yes, but if you combine all of his clear hatred and arrogant nature it's pretty easy to deduct that he is quite an antisocial person, being quite unfamiliar with proper interactions with other people. As is expected from somebody who indulges in all of the heinous things that he partakes in. But I feel it's also out of character if all of his goofiness is overshadowed as well. He is humorous, and it's not unfair to say that he's also probably a prankster as well. There's a perfect balance in his character which isn't always perfected by people, not even by me all the time.

Another thing I think is worth noting is how easy it is to set him off with...just about anything. Like during his fight with Yasha jr when Tokugawa brings up the fact that Baki had defeated Yasha's very father, he was quickly overcome with rage and jealousy before immediately making countless attack on the giant animal. He's easy to manipulate by controlling his anger and likely his insecurity too.

Overall, Kiyosumi is an arrogant, sadistic prick who enjoys hurting other people and getting his way with a cocky smirk painted on his face. Being an awfully antisocial person in nature and perhaps a bit awkward and inappropriate in certain situations because of his lack of normal human interaction, he fights on to reach the top perilously. Though he's not completely ruthless and hateful, even if thats what it may seem like.

Kindness and relationship with Doppo

Decided to combine these two thoughts because his sparse kindness is usually directly related to his feelings on Doppo. Some of his few moments of caring are to him in particular.

While he doesn't show much kindness in comparison to his violent outbursts, he does have some little moments that shows he's not completely out of touch with being caring and having softer emotions.

You've seen it here first, folks. Kiyosumi just admitted to caring about somebody. This is honestly kind of groundbreaking for him. But the fact he's willing to admit this so easily shows how dedicated he truly is to his father. I mean Sensei. Sensei is what I meant to say.

Doppo is very obviously a big part of Kiyosumi's character, most of his vulnerable emotions stemming from Doppo particularly. It's pretty clear that Kiyosumi and Doppo have a long history together, canonically having known each other for probably 5~6 years, but I'd say most likely more. (though there is a space in between when Kiyosumi ditched the dojo for the yakuza) While Doppo most definitely gave Kiyosumi the most shit and teased him a bunch, it can still be fairly deducted that he likely trained and taught Kiyosumi with compassion, something we know he isn't very familiar with. This caring from another person mixed with the fact Doppo was almost like a father to him (perhaps the father he never had?) had opened up some more delicate feelings for Kiyosumi. Or at least, thats what I assume of course.

I also really enjoy the scene in Tokugawa's home before Kiyosumi's fight with Dorian. He walks in so rebelliously, using his own hand crafted weapon to slice Dorians ear off, even though...he can basically already do something like that with his hand. I like to think this is his way of trying to disconnect from Doppo and the Shinshinkai "way". He knows that he cares about Doppo the most out of anyone, and the fact that he does know this tells me he's trying to, almost, get rid of that vulnerability and that emotion. He knows he cares, but he also knows that he shouldn't care about anyone but himself. He may have tried to show out to Doppo then, demonstrating that he can do things his own way and succeed, but no matter what, he'll always desire his true approval. Because he does care.

Of course, I can't forget the scene where Kiyosumi does a myriad of seiken's with Atsushi is order to motivate Katsumi during his fight with Kaoru. Though, this can either be taken as caring for Katsumi or just generally caring about the victory and success of his father- of his Sensei's karate school. While its hard to say, if I were to think about it most canonically up to this point in his character, it'd probably be the latter. Since by that point, him and Katsumi were only acquainted at best, Kiyosumi even showing a little hint of hate or jealousy towards him in one part. Though, I will say Kiyosumi has shown jealousy to someone before while still liking the person in question. This is true with Baki.

Speaking of Baki, he is one of the only other people Kiyosumi is shown to care at least a little bit about. During some of Baki's fights in early manga, there are some panels of him showing genuine concern for the boy. Not to mention his expression when Baki won the maximum tournament. While this is really surprising, I think there might be some kind of deeper reason he likes seeing Baki succeed. Perhaps, he sees part of himself in Baki. Maybe feeling as if Baki were the more powerful and open-minded teenage version of himself, the version of him that didn't walk such a dark, incriminating path. Or perhaps relating to his struggle with his father and sympathizing with his, quite sad, backstory. That would make some sense considering how close he is with Doppo, almost seeing him as a father. Maybe all of this alludes to the fact that Kiyosumi may have also struggled during his upbringing and childhood. Though, this is just speculation, why he really cares about Baki on the occasion is hard to pinpoint exactly. But if I were to put a good guess on it, it's probably because of what I aforementioned.

Forgot to mention that he basically indirectly calls him his parent after they sparred and Kiyosumi went for his eye. This is beautiful stuff. Fictional father and son relationship fans, rise.

His character depth and fight with Dorian

Remember when I mentioned that whether Kiyosumi is really confident in himself is debatable? Well I'm back to expand on that idea. I've always kind of headcanon'd him to be secretly very insecure of himself, putting up a wall of fake confidence or some kind of facade to hide his hidden insecurity from others. Though this was originally speculation and headcanon, I'm pretty confident in saying that this is probably a very realistic and canonical thing to consider when talking about his character.

I think this image kind of tells me that my suspicions of his fear and falters are correct. While it is small, I think this is Itagaki's way of giving him that eensey weensey little bit of depth.

His tough attitude and huge built up wall keep others from knowing that he is fearful, that he is frankly pretty vulnerable. If this was ever pointed out to him, he would most likely, you guessed it, get angry immediately and probably attack. His rage controls him constantly, so much that even he may start to notice as well.

Kiyosumi knows he's not the strongest out there, though he definitely desires to be. Looking down on others has always been the thing that made him feel better about all of the stressors and the shit he puts himself through. But he does realize he's not the best. He absolutely hates thinking about it though.

It's not unfair to say Kiyosumi thinks quite low of himself and abilities. But I think that's what makes the Shinshinkai working to avenge him that much more beautiful. This guy who truly believes nobody cares about him gets hurt by someone severely, almost at the edge of death (something he was quite content with) But the whole entire Shinshinkai was out looking for this man who caused him harm. No matter what trouble Kiyosumi gets himself into, his dad- HIS SENSEI...will always be there for him. Doppo was the one who ended up avenging Kiyosumi anyway, instead of the other way around. Even bringing him out for the final blow. Quite nice.

Speaking of that fiasco, lets move onto his infamous battle with Dorian Kaioh. I love some of the little implications in this fight that alludes to small traits in his character. His empty eyes after taking several blows mid-fight really speaks to me. It's even hard for me to put into words exactly how he's feeling during that fight, but it's pretty clear he's determined to bag a victory at any cost despite his rather somber state during the spar mid-way. I think it's also pretty funny how quickly he went from calm to blood-thirsty again so quickly. Maybe he really never does change. It's fair to say that Kiyosumi probably chose to fight Dorian due to what he did to Doppo, not only wanting to "avenge" him but also wanting to gain his approval, something which he heavily desires. Underestimating Dorian's strength and stealthily sneaking in his hideout, he jumps right into battle. (Very like him, I know.)

Of course, we all know the unfortunate outcome of the fight. But I'd like to point out some of the quite peaceful looks on his face during it. Even Kiyosumi admits that maybe amidst all of the pain and all of the shit, this is really what he's been looking for all along. What this means exactly can vary depending on how you see it, but I like to think this is almost Itagaki's way to give him an actual character arc. Even though we know...that didn't really happen (Which is really fucking funny don't get me wrong. Another part of the Kiyosumi curse) but I appreciate it nonetheless, thank you Itagaki-Sensei.

A little update here, I almost forgot to mention how sad it is that he recognizes that his only worth lies in his fighting. This, of course, is not true, but he's so caught up with fighting and martial arts he cant find any other part of him that he deems "good enough". He says the only thing he could ever find praise for was his fighting ability, but think about how he feels after engaging in battle and being overpowered and beaten. That's essentially all of his self worth down the drain. I think this is part of the reason he donned that expression at the end of the battle. He doubted his abilities and he lost horribly. What other means of living does he have at that point? He makes the statement that karate is simply a tool to him, but accumulates all of his self worth into his fighting. But I think during the fight where he basically says karate is all he has but then proceeding to say all it is to him is a tool is him trying to cope with the fact that he can't find pride in anything else about himself. Him telling himself, perhaps reminding himself, that karate is just a tool to him very clearly upped this fighting ability. That Kiyosumi confidence showed back up again, all because he was trying to convince himself he's more than his karate. Too bad his desire to win was taken advantage of so quickly, right as he was making a realization.

Kiyosumi's peaceful look and very very slight smile as he passes out at the end of the fight is really telling. He fought as hard as he could for a victory but he fell short. Just as he always knew he would eventually. Of course, he felt bad he couldn't please his Sensei, but his look tells us that he gained something that he's been looking for. A defeat. But not just any normal defeat. A death. It seems Dorian wasn't the only one who was seeking to know defeat in that battle.

Kiyosumi subconsciously desired a defeat which was completely unavoidable. A defeat that he couldn't make excuses about. A cut and dry loss where it ends with his inevitable demise. Almost like an escape from all of the problems. This, is what I think he was looking for.

But he lived! We all know that. Very happy for him. I guess. A little thing I would like to point out thats probably just something I want to have depth is the unexpected light in his eyes here, as he's indirectly apologizing to Doppo. His expression has been so hateful and bleak this whole time and the one moment he thinks he's about to finally die, he thinks about his dad with a slight smile and a light in his eyes. Pretty sad.

He tried so hard to retain at least a little bit of confidence in himself only for him to come to the pitiful conclusion that things wont change. His self worth is solely his fighting, and he'll die that way.

Headcanons and littler things

Thought I should add a section just for little things I think about his character, like how much I think he may struggle with substance addiction. Particularly with alcohol, it helps him forget that he's sad or even insecure at all. I think it's pretty fair to assume that he's an awfully messy person, so I imagine his apartment is trashed with empty beer cans and trash that was never picked up.

I wanted to make a stand-alone post on this but I thought I should just bring it up now. Kiyosumi not showing up to Katsumi's fight with Pickle is somehow the funniest but also most canon thing Itagaki could have possibly accidentally done. Like where is he? Probably sleeping in after a tough hangover, huh? No big surprise. Just really goofy to think about where he could possibly be during all of that.

Kiyosumi going back to the yakuza after his fight with Dorian (which can be easily assumed based on his clothing afterward) is really, not only funny to me, but also a bit saddening. I love knowing he's a yakuza and I also love knowing he's just generally a bad guy but the fact he so quickly goes back to the yakuza really shows that no matter what, he never truly changes. But that's the Kiyosumi curse. Character with tons of potential that has absolutely nothing else done with them in the story. While it's kind of messed up to not really continue on with his "arc", I still see it as cool character writing even though I doubt Itagaki drew and wrote that in for exactly the reason I'm describing it.

Kiyosumi's pure unadulterated rage is the most amazing thing to me. Nobody mentions the fact that completely UNCONSCIOUS, he got up with pure fighting spirit alive and well, just to land a blow on Dorian. When I said his rage controls him I was not lying.

Afterword

Well, that about concludes my character study of everything about him thats at least canonically shown, with of course, a few of my thoughts and idea's sprinkled in there. There are admittedly a few things I didn't include, that were either really minuscule or would've made the post even longer than it already is. But I hope my analysis can help others understand his character and motivations a little better, since I know not many people care about his character or are willing to really look in depth about him. Luckily, I'm just obsessed with him enough to know him almost like the back and front of my hand. Of course, if there's anything you think means something different, thats great! That's the joy of character understanding and comprehension. If you have any thoughts make sure to comment them down below, I'd love to see.

Number one Kiyosumi fanboy, logging off.

[practically-an-x-man]

help me I'm thinking about Nikoletta and Abner's dynamic with the Squad again

I keep thinking about how Nikoletta and Abne resort of become the outcasts among the outcasts when they're in Corto Maltese. Him because of the dots and the outbursts about his mom and all that, as the movie goes, but her because she's cold and reclusive and never comes within a few feet of anybody (plus, all of the lingering impressions of her from back in Belle Reve, the prisoners generally tolerate but do not like her). The only person she lets get close at all is Abner, and even that starts out slow and awkward.

So they're the outcasts of the group. And while Nikoletta (who's survived the past few decades only because she's learned how to read people and manipulate social situations) is aware of this from the very beginning, Abner (who doesn't have much socialization outside his siblings and a few bullies in Belle Reve) is very much not.

Now Nikoletta's on edge, both for her own safety and for Abner's - even at that point, she had a bit of a soft spot for him, and the whole reason she was in Corto Maltese to begin with was because she worried someone would try to off him at some point during the mission - and it only keeps growing as the mission goes on. And of course, she's also constantly on guard to avoid spreading her shadow-touch to the others. Abner's having a good time, making friends with Cleo and getting his hair ruffled by Flag in la Gatita Amable and all that, but Nik is more stressed than ever. And she's so emotionally repressed that she probably doesn't even realize why she's more on guard than usual, she just assumes it's from the upcoming danger of the mission.

And then there's the matter of the two of them. They start getting closer from the plane ride (technically even a little before, with their interactions in Belle Reve itself, but the plane is really the catalyst), and while there's nothing particularly romantic about it until la Gatita Amable, it's still enough to attract a bit of attention from the others.

It starts with DuBois. Just a few comments here or there, dry and ironic teasing that maybe comes out a bit too sharp but is really harmless in intent, get a room and leave space for Jesus and other sarcastic little digs like that. Abner doesn't quite catch onto what he's getting at, not yet, but Nik does.

Then they meet up with Rick, and he sees DuBois' teasing and starts to play along. He's... well, not quite heavy-handed, but his Southern sarcasm is a little different from DuBois' dry British wit, and Abner catches onto the joke. Again, though, it's all harmless, and not nearly as bad as the flak he normally gets - and he and Nikoletta both seem to realize that if they let this fracture now, when she still can barely convince herself to hold his hand, it might not ever come back.

And then we get Peacemaker. Now he's the Saint Bernard of the bunch - always a little late to the joke, but rambunctious to the point of being destructive to try and make up for it. He takes it from harmless teasing to something a little more antagonistic, and as we see in The Facts Are These, this results in a few close calls for Nik and Abner.

So that just places them both in this really strange spot, at least at the beginning - they don't quite fit it with the others but can connect one-on-one, though that connection itself opens them up to more scrutiny, and at this point Nikoletta is still so tightly-wound that she hardly even processes it as anything more than an assessment of social power dynamics. It's not until she saves him from Starro, or maybe even until she wakes up in the hospital after that, that she realizes she's made an emotional connection with him at all (and even then, she's not entirely sure whether it's platonic or romantic or some mix of the two).

[scrubf1re]

Meiko is (indirectly) responsible for Rosemon and Hououmon/Phoenixmon appearing in tri.

If you really think about it, the scenes in which Meiko cheers Mimi up by wearing the Daters cheerleader outfit in part 2 of tri and the scene where Meiko repeats the words Sora taught her in part 3 back to her in part 4 are both pretty big important scenes for Mimi and Sora's character arcs in tri since both scenes involve Meiko being supportive to the girls that causes major changes in attitude that lead to them fulfilling the evolution/digivolution prophecy thus making Meiko indirectly responsible for Rosemon (partially since Jo indirectly contributed as well but for different reasons but this rant is mostly about Meiko) and Hououmon/Phoenixmon appearing in tri.

Keep in mind that these scenes aren't just minor bits of filler that only exist to pad out run time, they are major important scenes for Sora and Mimi's characters in tri so cutting them out changes way more of the plot than you'd think. There are 2 criticisms I've seen towards Meiko that I feel are rather flawed (they're not the only flawed criticisms towards Meiko and by extension tri but I'm only going to focus on these 2 critiques and why I can't bring myself to agree with either of them no matter how much time passes) is that Meiko "does nothing" (even though contributing to other characters development is still technically contributing to the story in some way) and that when you do bring up the scenes where Meiko is supporting Sora and Mimi those same people would usually move the goalpost by claiming that those scenes don't count by claiming that "other characters could've done the same thing" (which kinda contradicts the first criticism towards Meiko if you really think about it since that critique rellies on admitting that Meiko did contribute to the story in some way). The reason I feel the latter critique doesn't work is because it rellies too much on whether other characters could have filled the same roles in those scenes and no where near enough on whether those other characters would've been just as if not more narratively effective to use for those scenes than Meiko.

Especially when you take how much screentime in part 2 is dedicated to Mimi and Meiko's friendship which I think is part of the reason why Meiko wearing the outfit was as effective as it was. Another reason why I feel that scene in particular worked was that Meiko was a new character (at the time, the first part of tri is nearly a decade old as of making this rant... god I feel old) who hasn't been friends with Mimi anywhere near as long as Sora and Hikari/Kari have been since Sora and/or Hikari/Kari wearing the outfits, while it still probably could've worked probably wouldn't be as narratively effective since both have been friends with Mimi for years whereas Meiko' being's social awkwardness and modesty is meant to showcase her breaking out of her shell because of Mimi... for the most part, she still acts rather shy while wearing it but it's still meant to showcase how much Mimi's friendship means to her anyways since I doubt Sora would be anywhere near as embarrassed wearing said outfit.

There's also the fact that Hikari/Kari already had a big scene near the end of part 2 of tri of her helping Jo with his struggles of his reason for fighting (since at that point in tri he was struggling with his grades and felt that if he focused on fighting that would mean throwing his chances of becoming a doctor away while at the same time feeling that he's a coward for having this struggle in the first place since it put his and Gomamon's relationship at risk and some other stuff) and since the scene where Meiko cheers Mimi up and the scene where Hikari/Kari helps Jo out are so close to each other it probably would've been weird to have 2 scenes of Hikari/Kari having big moments of supporting other characters so close to each other.

Jo/Joe already had that scene early...ish in part 2 and like I said earlier had his own character arc with Gomamon so it'd be a little weird for him to be the one to wear the cheerleader outfit (not that he'd look bad in it I'm sure he would've slayed in the outfit but this is more about how he probably isn't the best choice for that scene narratively). Taichi/Tai, Yamato/Matt and Takeru/TK barely have any screentime with Mimi in part 1 and 2 of tri so they probably wouldn't be very good choices for that scene. And Koushiro/Izzy already had a crush on Mimi that was played for comedic effect so a scene with him and Mimi probably wouldn't be that narratively effective and there's his arc in part 3 (as well as the fact that much like the other main characters, he's been friends with Mimi for years and I've already gone over why someone like Meiko who hasn't been friends with Mimi for that long was more narratively effective). Sometimes when it comes to critiquing a character's role in a story it's less about if other characters could've done the same thing and more about if using said character is the most narratively effective choice. There's also the fact that since Meiko plays a more non action supporting role (which would've only been sexist if Meiko was the only major female character in tri but since Sora, Mimi and Hikari/Kari already play the role of action girls who help out and contribute to fight scenes means I highly doubt one supporting character hurts) means that it was kind of necessary to give Meiko scenes like these especially when you take into consideration that her partner Meicoomon is the source of the infection and technically one of the main antagonists in tri.

There's also the fact that we know the 02 epilogue is still canon and that we know all of the main protagonists from the first 2 seasons make it out okay so new characters like Maki, Daigo, Meiko and Meicoomon being created for tri was kind of necessary to prevent tri from being way too predictable since we know they're going to survive anyways (which is fine for something more minor like those Last Evolution: Kizuna shorts but probably not for something more major like tri or the post tri movies), something that Last Evolution: Kizuna and 02: The Beginning also did by creating new characters for basically the same reason as tri.

As for Meiko repeating the words Sora taught her in part 3 back to her in part 4, much like the cheerleader outfit scene it's not just meant to showcase Meiko contributing to Sora's arc that leads to a big change in attitude that leads to her reconciling with Piyomon/Biyomon (well that and being attacked by the Mysterious Man/Dark Gennai and Mugendramon/Machinedramon) but it's also meant to showcase Meiko learning from Sora in those scenes showcasing she took what Sora said to heart. A lot of the points I said about the Daters outfit scene with Mimi and Meiko can also be applied to this scene with Sora and Meiko so I probably won't be going into as much detail but I'll try anyways. Sora spends a surprisingly much larger amount of screentime with Meiko in tri than you'd think but she also surprisingly barely had any screentime with Takeru/TK in tri up to this point so he probably wouldn't be good substitute as well as the fact that he and Koushiro/Izzy already had an entire OVA mostly focused on them. And again much like the scene with Mimi and Meiko in part 2 I feel part of the reason this scene works as well as it does is because Meiko is someone Sora hasn't been friends with anywhere near as long as someone like Taichi/Tai, Yamato/Matt, Mimi, Jo or Hikari/Kari since those are people Sora (and the audience probably) probably would've been way more expected to try to cheer her up since she's known them for way longer... depending on who you'd ask (this part is honestly noticeably more subjective than the other points for an already subjective rant).

At this point in tri it's also just in character of Meiko to be supportive of others and this is meant to lead into the scene where Meiko reunites with Meicoomon taking those words Sora said to heart by admitting it was wrong of her not to go with the others to the Digital World (that she did because she felt she didn't deserve to see Meicoomon due to feeling responsible for all of the other partner digimon getting infected and couldn't tell the others for the same reason Takeru/TK couldn't tell the others about Patamon being infected).

The scene is also most likely meant to parallel Sora and Piyomon/Biyomon's reconciliation later in part 4 (Anyone else really thankful Piyomon/Biyomon's statement about wanting to try Sora's meatballs in tri was written with sincerity like the sea salt ice creams in Kingdom Hearts and not irony poisoned like hell like a Joss Whedon script... screw that creep). It probably wouldn't work as well if you used Taichi/Tai and Agumon, Yamato/Matt and Gabumon, Mimi and Palmon etc. for these moments for the reasons I already listed given and I'm already running out of things to say about this unnecessarily long rant. I guess wishing Meiko contributed more is a reasonable complaint but don't try to move the goalpost when someone brings these scenes up since you'd be kind of contradicting your wish (these aren't even the only scenes where she contributes like how her wish to put Meicoomon out of her misery near the end of part 5 was one of the most important decisions in tri that lead to the other main characters following along with that decision and how it lead to them realising that they can't save everyone but this also isn't that important to this rant). I probably could've worded some things better or come up with better reasons but hopefully people understand where I'm coming from. Or you could use this as shipping fuel and reasons to like the Mimi x Meiko, Sora x Meiko and/or Sora x Mimi x Meiko ships more I don't mind (in fact I encourage it).

[cartoon-buffoon]

I'm bored and sleep deprived so as the self proclaimed captain of this ship I decided to make this using a template I saw going around. More indepth rant/explanation below if anyone has a semblance of care about this stupid crackship.

Now time for a more indepth explanation about the graph and how I head canon these two. Or what I like to call it: UNDERSTAND MY SHIP IN 20 MINUTES OR MORE!

(Warning: lots of head canons although I try to keep my head canons somewhat reasonable within each of the characters respective canons. Also this is a long winded explanation)

Height difference—Skitzo can seemingly change his size so I guess his real height is "it depends" yet I like to imagine he ranges from 6ft-8ft although I put down 8ft just because. As for Oswald, in Epic Mickey we see the statue he recreated with him holding Walt's hand and Walt was 5'10 according to Google and in the statue he goes up to Walt's waist. I'm sure one could do actual math on how tall he is yet to me he's 3ft with his ears giving him an extra foot.

Age—Oswald was created in 1927 and according to a comic where Skitzo gets a job as a janitor he was born in 1918. I imagine being with someone a bit older than him would actually make Oswald happy, it would make him feel like less of a relic and helps him be less self conscious about his age.

Sexuality—Oswald is bisexual yet leans more towards women, this would explain his relationship with Fanny and marriage with Ortensia. As for Skitzo I put down pansexual although truth be told I don't think he'd care about labels? He's a demon and is noted to be depraved, he probably doesn't care about labels of sexuality and he'll take what he can get.

Horny level—Oswald is a rabbit and has 420 kids. Skitzo is noted to be "the eye of the pervert" and he indulges in the depravity of humanity, yeah their levels are self explanatory. I don't think Oswald is overly flirtatious or forward or anything, yet I imagine when Skitzo is being overly forward Oswald would lean into it without a second thought.

Awkwardness level—Skitzo isn't really expressive considering he has the same blank grin 24/7 plus Oswald can't understand his "language". This communication difficulty would make Oswald worry sometimes because he can't get a good read on Skitzo's emotions, although Skitzo is pretty straightforward and despite being mute is rather good at communicating physically. Oswald's awkwardness stems from him overthinking more than anything.

Jealousy level—I don't think neither of them would be jealous. Despite Skitzo having anger issues and psychopathy he wouldn't be jealous if Oswald hung around other people at all. He'd still threaten/hurt whoever Oswald is hanging around with, although that's just because he's insane and has no relation to jealousy. Oswald also has no reason to be jealous of those who Skitzo hangs with, mainly because they are either victims or other demons. In fact Oswald would probably want Skitzo to make normal friends with other toons and to be more social although I doubt he'd have success in helping him.

Spooning—the size difference explains the levels well enough. Although I do imagine Oswald would love to cuddle, he'd constantly have to remind Skitzo to be gentle in the way he holds him because Skitzo is incredibly strong and forgets his own strength.

Clothes—they both wear a singular pair of shorts, Skitzo wears his shoes although he never really takes them off. If they needed to wear different things I'd imagine they'd pull new clothes outta thin air, they're toons, so yeah that's not applicable to this ship.

Pet names— I'd like to imagine Skitzo does use pet names, calling Oswald something like "bun-bun" or other cheesy rabbit related stuff, yet only demons can understand him so most of the time he doesn't even speak. Although if Skitzo were to ever introduce Oswald to other demons he'd refer to Ozzie as something cute. Oswald also has shown clear love for pet names in the way he talks to Ortensia so if he was with Skitzo nothing would change, he'd still think of cute stuff to call his boyfriend.

Introverted/extroverted—Oswald or at least his classic appearance screams extrovert to me so that's what I imagine. He still needs time to recharge after going out and isn't an avid party person, yet still social. As for Skitzo it's weird? Skitzo keeps to himself although is no stranger to being curious and seeing what others are doing, he outwardly peeps on other demons down in hell aswell. He's a weird middle ground.

Affection—as mentioned before Skitzo talks yet Oswald can't understand him this would mean he'd have to show all of his affection via actions. Oswald is a bit different with him being very lovey dovey and would constantly compliment Skitzo although as a byproduct of his time in the silent era he's more familiar with actions speak louder than words and goes out of his way to show love.

Confession—I don't think either of them would "confess" proper. Skitzo would demonstrate his love first and Oswald would reciprocate, Skitzo is more forward with his love though which is why I ranked him higher. I like to imagine one day Oswald just realizes they have been dating for a good while and goes "wait, are we a thing?" And Skitzo just shrugs as an answer.

Bugs—Oswald would in no way be scared of a bug although he's more inclined to gently let the bug go. Unless it's a roach or something, in that case he'd be all for killing it. Skitzo on the other hand is a trade marked psycho so he'd probably let the bug go, follow it to find the nest, and then proceed to massacre all of the bugs with his knife only.

Driving—Oswald can drive, it's how he met Ortensia originally and we see him several times drive cars. I do think Skitzo CAN drive a car, problem is letting a crazy demonic bear behind the steering wheel would likely lead to consequences so Oswald doesn't let him.

Cooking—Skitzo can cook, problem is his ingredients are still twitching when they're being cooked, because of this Oswald takes care of dinner usually and is a pretty good chef.

PDA—both are really keen on demonstrating their love in public for different reasons. Oswald just loves to show how much he loves Skitzo. Skitzo himself is just unaware of normal societal standards and him showing love to Oswald in public is just him doing what he likes. Because of his obliviousness Oswald has to teach Skitzo sometimes on what is and isn't okay to do in public, Skitzo would probably have troubles adjusting with how hell was and how earth is and the difference between their respective norms yet he makes an effort to learn.

Protectiveness—both of them worry about the other deeply, Skitzo is aware of the horrors of both earth and in hell and how hell denizens can occasionally come to earth so he's scared his presence would put Oswald in danger. He's also scared on if one day he'll lose control of his psychopathy and hurt Oswald, because of this Skitzo does his best to shield Ozzie from what goes on and considering his demonic powers he does a good job at scaring anyone who'd wanna hurt his boyfriend away. Oswald worries about Skitzo in the same way, his fears are less warranted and he isn't fully aware how messed up Skitzo can be, yet he still cares. Ozzie will also lash out on anybody who makes a negative comment on Skitzo's appearance and is hellbent on defending Skitzo, Skitzo finds this hilarious and let's the rabbit go off while sitting back and enjoying the show.

Experience—Oswald was in a relationship with Fanny, and also had a pretty solid marriage with Ortensia so his experience is pretty high and he knows exactly how to be a great partner. Skitzo has no real experience, he's more familiar with the concepts like lust and degeneracy then love and romance so he kinda just follows along and does his best to be the best boyfriend he can. His best is NOT perfect, yet he tries and Oswald is appreciative of that.

Oswald has been a hyper fixation of mine for a bit and at the same time I got into old cartoons I refound Skitzo who originally I thought was nothing more than a nightmare, come to find out nope! Skitzo's animations just traumatized me when I was younger and I repressed his existence. As a now lover of edgy things I've come to adore Skitzo and the entire lore of In The Dark and as a result this ship was created as a simple crossover between my two favorite characters. At first this ship was created by me as a stupid joke yet slowly I've created more and more for it to the point I even wrote a god awful fic about it that I look at in disgust every day (it still got like 3 kudos tho so I guess there's an audience for truly everything 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠_⁠•⁠ ⁠)⁠ㄏ). Skitzo as a character is a irredeemable monster, however interestingly enough there's moments in hisn animations demonstrating he doesn't wanna kill 100% of the time. Only 80% of the time. I found this aspect interesting enough to come up with the hypothetical idea "what if Skitzo did find someone he truly liked, and what if he lived in constant fear he'd accidentally lose control and hurt them?". This idea has some of that good angst I adore in any ship, the idea of Skitzo fighting against his inner wants to murder and desire for blood and death in order to live a normal life with Oswald is both sad and cute too me. Oswald would also be fully aware of the dangers that being with Skitzo would entail yet he stays with him out of love and belief Skitzo can be better. This belief is dead wrong and sadly murder is just built into the bear's primary function, yet he nonetheless tries to lessen Skitzo's murderous desires. I maybe one day wanna elaborate on an AU on these two being together and their dynamic yet I already have another AU that has Oswald in it I'm writing about.

Idk how to end this as that's really all I got for now, if you've read this entire thing uhh: sorry? Yeah that's an appropriate end. I'm sorry.

[marcilled]

According to the votes on that poll, at least 70% of you want to hear about my FFXIV ocs (meanwhile, only 12% think i should sleep. so i'm awake still, typing this.) I'll ramble about them under the cut, but for the ~7% that said they don't know what ffxiv is, I ended up rambling quite a bit about what ffxiv even is, and why I personally enjoy it/what i recommend for anyone who's interested in it. (I made it easy to skip over if you don't care to read about that, though)

Gonna put this under a readmore since it got really long;

Cassern Qestir! my main girlie. she/it pronouns. lesbian .

she's the warrior of light. if you don't know what that means; it's the protagonist. if you still need more context:

(skip to the blue text if you don't want to read me explain ffxiv and why i think it's worth playing, i didn't expect to ramble this much about it...)

Final Fantasy XIV is a MMORPG by Square Enix. Most other final fantasy games aren't MMOs, but this one is. That means it's a multiplayer game with RPG elements. It's also heavily story-driven. While you might hear people complain about the story at times- and I'd be one of them- it manages to really leave an impression in spite of any contrivances, awkward writing, or plotholes. That's due to the fact that the player character is... well, whoever you want them to be.

Your WoL (Warrior of Light), the player character, is the protagonist of the story. And it really must be emphasized... They are so, so fully the protagonist, it's hard for other protagonists to even compare to the protagonist energy the warrior of light has. That might seem... dull or uninteresting to some, but eh, it's not like you can please everyone- the point is for you to get into character, and if that doesn't interest you, then hopefully the other characters in the story will. Personally I love this aspect- I've made the WoL my own oc with a really, really detailed backstory. Which brings me to my next point;

The Worldbuilding... The worldbuilding is probably the strongest point of ffxiv, aside from the STELLAR soundtrack it boasts. The worldbuilding is incredibly detailed, and is there to encourage roleplaying, as well as to help the plot along (tho, really, it works best as a means to encourage roleplay). I suppose I should be more specific here; it's the setting that's really the key point here- the world, the cities, each and every river and valley... But also the time period, the history, etc etc etc... There's a lot of material to work with, and I suppose you'll just have to believe me that it's really quite in-depth (if you're interested in that depth! totally fine not to engage with it, too.)

All of this isn't... going to grab or interest everyone, certainly, but eh, I've accepted that at this point lol. Don't force yourself to keep playing it if it isn't grabbing you, but for me, I started playing it for the social aspect- doing something in the game with friends, socializing in the game, making new friends through it... it's been great for that. What I didn't expect is how much the story would grab me.

FFXIV's story is very slow to start, but gradually builds on the humble roots of your adventurer until you're literally saving the entire universe. It's very, very gradual, and this slow pace might turn people off as well. Especially if you hear people say "it really gets good at heavensward!" "shadowbringers is unforgetable!" "just wait til next expansion--" these sorts of things are common to hear, but it's the same as touting that a game gets good "after the first 20 hours of gameplay", it's poison. Just try it out and see how you feel about how it plays. If the style of doing quests is interesting to you, if the combat feels engaging or shallow. etc. hey wait this was supposed to be about my ocs. ok i'll finish talking about the story and then get back to my ocs.

Anyhow. The story is really shallow at first, it's true. Even within the whole base game itself, (A Realm Reborn, aka 2.0), it can be a bit dull and contrived, and boy oh boy is the voice acting completely awful... It's rough around the edges. But if you're like me, you can really appreciate a series that starts out rough around the edges, and slowly evolves over time from humble beginnings into an epic tale that really blows away your expectations... It's about growing with the narrative, to me. If that sounds interesting to you, maybe you'll like it. I certainly did. In fact, ffxiv might be like... top 10 games to me, in terms of how its story affected me personally. Particularly the shadowbringers and endwalker expansions. But you can't skip all the way there, either- the context of everything that happened before it is crucial to understanding where you're at once you get to those expansions. The more you skip, the more lost you'll likely be. Take your time. Don't rush. And ignore anyone who tells you "it gets really good at (x) part!!!", it's a great way to set yourself up for disappointment if you end up not personally connecting with a certain plotline or character moment. I think, the thing that makes ffxiv really special... is.. it's YOUR story. The story of you- your warrior of light. And the parts that are going to connect for YOU, and for your warrior of light, are not necessarily the same as what connects for anyone else. You may end up loving the slow, humble beginnings of ARR, and feel alienated by all the saving-the-world stuff that comes later. Who knows! It's what you make of it. That's kind of the beauty of it. Now, I could talk all day about how I personally connected to shadowbringers and endwalker, (and some smaller moments, scenes, & questlines from earlier in the game), but you didn't come here for all this, you came here to read about my ocs. SORRY.

I'm done talking about FFXIV as a game now. It's time to ramble about my OCs.

FFXIV is really great for making OCs, if you like its setting. Square Enix doesn't like when you talk about it, but there's a pretty big modding scene that lets you customize your characters way beyond what the vanilla game allows for. This is often used for horny purposes, but more interesting to me personally is the gender euphoria I get from seeing my own body reflected in my own character. I gave Cassern wider shoulders, made her taller than any other au ra woman can be in vanilla, and gave her the horns that are typically only on male character models. She is so transgender. i love cassern.

Cassern Qestir is the warrior of light, meaning she's the protagonist that goes on to save everyone and everything. But at the start of her story, she's a budding new adventurer, completely new to Eorzea- her home is far to the east, in the Azim Steppe, where most Xaela Au Ra hail from. It started out casting spells, but picked up ninjitsu along the way, and quickly became one of the most skilled shinobi there is.

(she kills fascists lol)

she's also pretty socially awkward, in spite of her unparalleled combat capabilities... it lacked a lot of confidence early on in the story, too, but over time it got a lot of character development, and gained confidence. my little beepo. i have a lot of photos of it, but I don't want to make this TOO long... plus, it's difficult to give a spoiler-free overview of her character that's still approachable to people that don't know anything about the game. I suppose I could talk about her backstory, because most of my writing for her actually happens before the main game... but, eh, I'd still need to introduce a lot of settings and topics that wouldn't make sense if you haven't played before. tricky to do. maybe I'll attempt that one of these days. Anyhow... onto my next oc...

This is Samga Mol! they/them. bi.

Samga is a touchy, standoffish Xaela dragoon. (Dragoon means they fight with a lance- it's one of the many jobs in the game, like Ninja is. I'd need another long tangent to explain that in full.) Samga was actually close friends with Cassern in their youth, having also grown up on the Azim Steppe- but the two of them haven't spoken in years... I wonder what happened between them?

They're very edgy, as dragoons often are- but they also have a softer, gentler side that they don't often let show... They also get grumpy if you say they're cute. (Which is just even cuter, by the way.) They actually have a soft spot for animals, particularly chocobos.

But shhh, don't tell anyone you saw them like this... they have a reputation to uphold, you know. Tough, menacing dragoon that kills in the name of dragonkind and all that. Most feared heretic in all of Ishgard, strikes fear into the hearts of the temple knights... Wait, weren't they from the Azim Steppe? How did that happen?? Hmm, I wonder...

---

I have a lot more OCs, but most of them don't have cohesive designs and intricate backstories like Cassern and Samga do- and more often than not, mostly exist just to add more depth to the story between the two of them. There's a few others I have, like this mad scientist catgirl named Dr. Frankie. I'm still working on her. She's completely unrelated to Cassern and Samga's story;

stay tuned if you enjoy morally dubious scientist women with an ephemeral grasp on social etiquette. i'm already obsessed with this little freak, i just need to develop her a bit more before i start showing her off all the time. she also has an ... "assistant" that i'm excited to design. more on that later.

Anyhow, this was a really, really brief overview of my ocs, and I have SO many more thoughts on them, that I post about with much more frequency over on @azimsteppe ... when I remember to... (I usually use twitter for ffxiv stuff, but I'm sure you're all familiar with how that website is faring these days...) just be aware that there are spoilers on that blog, and although i try to tag them, you'll likely run into some spoilery stuff if you browse there long enough.

please let me know what you think!! it always makes me happy hearing what people think of my ocs and what interests them about them... :] and!! big thank you for reading all of this!! it was a lot of fun just to ramble lol, my ocs mean a lot to me. so i'm glad it interests at least some of you. take care!!