#pride is the ultimate sin
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thatscarletflycatcher · 2 years ago
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The more the time passes, the more convinced I am that a reading of Jane Eyre that omits the theme of mercy as key to the story is incomplete at best and bad at worst.
#jane eyre#i think this is at the root of all the insidious and useless darcy vs rochester comparisons#because ultimately the wrong Austen heroes do is forgivable#the effects of their sins are more or less easily reversable#such as Darcy's pride and rudeness or Wentworth's pettiness#there is mercy being served with atonement#but it isn't a radical mercy#which I think is the point in Jane Eyre#Rochester's attempted bigamy is beyond justification#it can only be understood as sourced in stupidity and immaturity rather than in true wickedness#it can also be understood as part of the way he was raised up and the sins of his own father#but cannot be justified#Rochester can only be either hated and shunned or loved and forgiven#there's no possibility of indifference#the characters that create the most unhappiness to themselves and others in this novel are those who live without mercy#and those who act with mercy the opposite#Rochester's redemption is possible because he has shown mercy to others#at least sometimes like Adele and his first years with Bertha#st John can have everything in his favor and yet his mercilessness makes him a figure of fear for Jane#Jane's deliberate choice to show mercy again and again IS essential to the story#Jane Eyre is a bildungsroman AND a romance because of it#readings that seek to turn Rochester into a complete forever villain#i.e. he is a liar and he actually tortured Bertha into madness#are ultimately readings that want a reason to reject any sort of mercy for him#by making him incapable of good and repentance
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i-dreamed-i-had-a-son · 3 months ago
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“because he never accepts that it's never been about righteousness--it's about repentance.” except javert killing himself IS repentance.
well, it’s like 12 different things, because bro had gone days without sleeping and very little food and water and he already had low self-worth and kept asking the amis to kill him and just assumed he was going to die AND THEN valjean upended his understanding of the world and morality. he was really going through it & there are a lot of overlapping reasons for why he jumps into the seine.
but javert is like Number One Most Responsible guy in the whole story. taking responsibility is his Thing (forever bitter the musical doesn’t include the punish me monsieur le maire scene). how else, in his derailment, could he atone for his conceived misdeeds other than by handing in his resignation to god? in the brick he had already left a note urging his superiors to treat convicts at toulon better, which is another step in his repentance (and another crime the musical commits by not including it). jumping into the seine was another step.
honestly a lot of ppl who like the book think the musical was dead wrong to exclude him from the big heaven group sing, because it COMPLETELY undermines the themes of forgiveness and compassion threaded throughout les mis. like the musical was simply wrong lol.
This is helpful context! I am still finishing the brick, although I have fully read the abridged version, and that detail about the letter wasn't included, so I didn't know that occurred! (And thank you for the message--this is a long response but I'd love to hear more of your thoughts!)
I agree that Javert is certainly deeply distraught and remorseful; like you mentioned, his worldview is literally falling apart, and his actions reflect his mental state. But his death isn't really repentance--in the sense that it's not what God would have wanted. To me it reads like a Judas situation: a desperate realization of a huge mistake, and doing the only thing you think can make it right, namely, ending it all. That's the just punishment for someone so wrong, isn't it?
But true repentance, meaning the repentance that the Lord desires, is about changing your ways, not "paying a price." Had Javert really understood the beauty of Valjean's mercy (an image of Christ's, just as the bishop's undeserved mercy was to Valjean himself), rather than killing himself, he would have lived to also become "an honest man"--in heart. One who could forgive and understand forgiveness, for himself as well as others. One who could recognize that he is not The Law, that he can fall, but that he can also be "brought to the light." One who could accept that men like Valjean, and men like himself, CAN change, and be changed.
It's tragic to me because so much of "Stars," and his character in the book as well as the musical, is about wanting to be righteous, to rise above his birth and the sinfulness he associates it with. It's about wanting to please the Lord by his actions. But in his end, he shows he never understood what God really wanted from him, and that's where my original phrase comes in: not righteousness, but repentance. To live, and face the man you were, knowing it's no longer the man you are. That it's never been about what you've done or can do, but about what's been done for you. That's the Gospel that he could never fully accept.
To use another example you mentioned, that misunderstanding drives why he asks the Mayor (Valjean) to punish him--in his worldview, mercy is unjust, or at the very least, unfair. Evil must be punished; "those who fall like Lucifer fell" receive "the sword." But "as it is written," God "desires mercy, not sacrifice" (Matthew 9:13). God would have wanted Javert to live, and Javert couldn't see that, and that's why it's devastating to me. In his misunderstanding of the heart of God, he misses what would have set him free from the chains of sin he's always been trying to escape.
That's why he's contrasted with Valjean, who (though he carries guilt about his past till the end of his life) is eventually able to face it and confess what he had done to those he loves. He knew there was mercy to be found, if only it was asked for. Javert was too blinded by pride and shame to realize it, and so, while broken, he never was able to truly repent.
For that, you must go on.
#i have a lot more thoughts on this specifically as it relates to pride as javert's fatal flaw. that's what kept him from grasping it all#because fundamentally he believes what he does is what sets him apart as righteous. that's the symbolism of the brand: your deeds define you#so if it's actually been about mercy all along then he has been needlessly cruel when he thought it was righteousness#and all of his actions that he thought made him better have been for nothing. he's carried shame for nothing. been a slave for nothing#les miserables#les mis#inspector javert#responses aka the ramblings of my brain#my meta posts#meta#kay can i just catch my breath for a second#no actually i'm still not done just needed to interrupt for the search tags etc.#shame is only possible where pride is present#that's my hot take. if javert had been truly totally humble he would not have killed himself. he would have accepted the gift of life#which is the same gift we are given in christ!! and that's honestly why it isn't repentance because the whole thing is a christian allegory#his suicide shows that he still regards himself as judge. he determines the punishment#and in his song the lyrics are full of things like 'damned if i'll live in the debt of a thief' 'i'll spit his pity right back in his face'#he is too prideful to accept the gift that christ has given: salvation UTTERLY unearned and undeserved. through grace alone#narratively he represents the Law (old covenant) in christianity and those who still choose to live under it#romans 3:20 says 'therefore by the deeds of the law shall no flesh be justified in His sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin'#but valjean represents one saved by the new covenant. who can see that his 'righteousness is as filthy rags' (isaiah 64:6) and is redeemed#and that is why ultimately from a narrative perspective valjean has salvation and javert does not#not that javert did not see his wrongdoing but that he could not look past his own 'righteousness'#anyway this was all very christian-info-dump but the book is too so i feel it was justified 😂 but that's my interpretation#would love to hear more thoughts if you have them!! i truly hope this didn't come off as combative bc i mean it super genuinely!#kay has a party in the tags#kay is a musical theater nerd#kay is a classical literature nerd
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krispyjb · 8 months ago
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Ah fuck I’m thinking about Water 7/Enies Lobby arc again
Whoops I wrote an essay in the tags
#one piece#one piece spoilers#particularly a line that Franky says to Robin that really stuck with me#‘no one is born into this world to be alone’#god just the entire central theme of this arc being that you always have a place in this world#even if it doesn’t seem like it#the entire goddamn rooftop scene#the straw hats finally learn the extent of robin’s trauma and why she feels like she needs to leave them to turn herself in#and in response they DECLARE WAR ON THE WORLD#because Robin is their family#and god help anyone who messes with their family#and as if it wasn’t enough that the arc has that whole beautiful storyline#everything else about it is top notch too!#Usopp’s own arc where he learns to let go of his pride and realizes that he can focus on what he brings to the straw hats#Franky facing his own past and finding his place with the straw hats as their newest member#and the fights with cipher pol giving everyone a chance to shine!#nami and chopper get to actually Do Shit!#Luffy’s entire fight with Rob Lucci#Robin snapping Spandam’s spine after everything he did to her#anyway one piece is ultimately a story about found family and in no arc is that clearer than Enies Lobby#oh and don’t even get me started on everything with the Going Merry!#edit: okay so I misremembered something#it was Saul who told Robin that#but also Franky telling her outright that her existence isn’t a sin#aaaaaaahhhh my heart#I’m not really a frobin shipper (I don’t really ship anything from one piece aside from maybe namivivi)#but like. I think I get it
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kayzero · 10 months ago
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hello kay kayzero what are the names and etymology of weekdays and months 👁️👁️
so the first thing you have to understand is what the setting is based around. because i have an obsession, the ragtag group of plucky adventurers who defeated the angelic oppressors are named after the seven sins. Peccatum, the name of the planet, is Latin for Sin.
so the Leader of about 80% of all humanity on the planet is Lady Pride. her secretary, who everyone in the Prideful Nation sees as her second-in-command (but everyone who knows them knows that it Cannot lead anyone in anything) is V, the sin of envy.
V is fanatical in its devotion to Pride, and coincidentally was the one who made the discovery that led to both the length of a year—which corresponds to the Angelsbane’s growth cycle (exactly 343 days to grow, bud, bloom, wither, die, and regrow)—and the space between pulses and amount of pulses in a day—exactly 78,400—and yes, it sat there and manually counted.
so because it gathered this data itself, it was granted the honor of naming the days and the months. it also named the weeks, which are used mostly for formal announcements and research papers, but for the most part people just go with “the Xth week of this or that month”.
anywho,
Months
named after flowers associated with each Sin
Cyclamen
Dianthus
Dahlia
Gentiana
Gazania
Helenium
Belladonna
then we have
Weeks
mostly adjectives that V associated with each Sin (who was then told by Pride to get rid of the ones that were more insulting)
Prideful, Excellent, Primary, First
Envious, Silver, Shifting, Second
Wrathful, Combative, Enduring, Third
Lovely, Radiant, Musical, Fourth
Greedy, Golden, Wealthy, Fifth
Gluttonous, Hungry, Indulgent, Sixth
Sleeping, Last, Silent, Seventh
and finally,
Days
gemstones
Amethyst
Emerald
Ruby
Sapphire
Topaz
Carnelian
Opal
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cardtorius · 2 years ago
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LFGGGGGG 💪🫶🥵🔥🔥
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sisterdivinium · 2 years ago
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Think "necessity" of evil in the ultimate doing of good ("For God judged it better to bring good out of evil than not to permit any evil to exist"); sin/failure for the sake of elevation, personal and otherwise, and how each of the characters "falls" so that good may come of it somehow, be it in general knowledge, assistance in pursuing good or personal enlightenment.
I'm far too lacking in dogmatic understanding to pursue this specific angle of investigation the way I'd like to and it's driving me crazy.
#vincent the traitor who releases adriel and later repents yes - but this ultimately brings us to reya#who would've stayed in shadow otherwise and hidden the danger she represents. oh the blood that was shed#but the progression of history has required it always and a few cardinals slain in a hotel are a small price to pay#suzanne the prideful who must be bent into accepting and trusting the women around her eventually#who followed by shannon the wronged (innocent?) precipitates the rise of ava#ava whom suzanne also aids and could not have done so had she not fallen#beatrice the forsaken who carves a path towards herself by using her pain#and without whom the designated saviour would never be able to save anyone of course#mary the abandoned who pays for the sins of her mother and thus buys herself the family she needs#jillian the relentless whose curiosity is fed in morsels at the exchange of human life#but who does gain glimpses at Something and who does become more human herself through loss#lilith the heir whose arrogance costs her more than one family but who might well lead the way to new life#michael the lamb who dies so ava may find her own way towards achieving her goal#i know this isn't exactly dogmatic but still; i'm caught up with nathaniel hawthorne see#read the marble faun and you will understand where this is coming from#i remember being struck by how in starz' spartacus every single character action brought on new disaster#but here in warrior nun - as much as disaster is part of it - there seems to be a light at the end of each tunnel in a way#complications arise one after the other but there are gains along the way#i shall ponder a good while more#if for no other reason than babbling in the tags like this is unacceptable#i was raised a civilised woman and i will write cohesive ordered texts like one! (eventually!)#analysis and similar#exercises in observation
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djdoomsday7 · 2 years ago
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The seven deadly sins, but like, parents. One big polycule with a kid.
Pride teaches the kid that they should never underestimate their worth, but not to be a dick about it
Wrath teaches the kid to stand up for themself but not to start a fight for now reason
Lust gives dating advice and encouragement but teaches the importance of consent
Envy teaches them to strive for their goals but not to just go for others'
Greed teaches them that everything is good in moderation
Gluttony makes sure they eat healthy but makes sure they aren't overeating
Sloth is there making sure they get the right amount of sleep
I don't know why, but I just love this idea
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bevy-obeyme · 5 months ago
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What kind of guys are the demon brothers?
In which, you ask each one ‘’Ass, tits or thighs?’’ (Slightly NSFW I suppose?)
ART BY munda 03 on zerochan!!
Lucifer-
- The way this man would whip his head to look at you so fast once you ask this question-
- He’s very vague, in fact, it stung his pride for you to even question him on something so improper.
- And also the fact you thought he only loved one aspect of you.
- Ultimately however, after much tedious pestering, he admitted he leaned towards your boobs.
- He liked their softness and it gave him something to hold when he just needed a stress ball or something-
- He didn’t care if you had large or small ones, the tissue was still soft to him no matter what.
- And the sadist loved to tease you with it cruelly as well. What a pain.
Mammon-
- Now, this man was so flustered when you asked that question. Had you caught him staring?! He bolted out the door with such a furious blush.
- It was quite hard to catch the white haired demon but eventually you did.
- At first, he would deny any preference with a blush so obvious it put Diavolo’s hair to shame but eventually, he caved.
- Out of everything, he probably liked your ass the most. A little squeeze every now and then.. why else did you think he rested his palm against your lower back so often?
- Not to mention, it just looked.. nice. Whenever you wore a dress that complimented you so well it was hard not to just hold onto you.
Leviathan-
- This question made the otaku extremely embarrassed and he instantly denied having such ‘’normie’’ preferences with numerous stutters.
- However, when you did manage to ease him into opening up, he confessed he liked your thighs the most. It was so comfortable to just lay his head down on your lap when he gamed on his console or was watching anime with you.
- He almost fell asleep each and every time but he reminded himself he’s not Belphie and you wouldn’t appreciate it.
Satan-
- When you asked the question, the blond man just stood there blankly for a moment. How was one supposed to answer such a question?
- He had avoided your eyes for a moment with a small flush. Ultimately, he couldn’t chose just one aspect.
- So he settled for your breasts and thighs. He loved how you allowed him to read with his head on your lap and the way your fingers would run through his hair.
- Or the times he’s been particularly angry and he sank his face into the safe haven of your chest. The feeling was comforting and your heart beat thumping gently was soothing.
Asmodeus-
- Now, you know this man did NOT shy away from the question at all. In fact, he teased you about it and took it as an opportunity to flirt and gush with you.
- But in all honesty, he loved everything about you. He couldn’t chose just one! That was cruel.
- He loved the soft flesh of your thighs when you sat down besides him, or the round curve of ass whenever you were in some fitting jeans - or just the way your cleavage was accentuated with your low cut tops! You just looked so good in everything and it made him so elated to have a darling like you.
Beelzebub-
- At first, when you asked, he genuinely thought you were talking about food until you clarified.
- He wasn’t sure how to answer, as he didn’t want to offend you by saying just one thing, but ultimately, he loved your thighs the most. They were so squishy.
- He would tenderly squeeze them or even run his hands up and down gently.
- On a day when he was particularly ravenous, maybe he’d even nibble a bit too. Albeit, gently to make sure he wouldn’t hurt you.
Belphegor-
- The question didn’t seem to phase Belphie yet he took pleasure in mocking you for even daring to ask such a sinful thing.
- However, he knew you wanted a genuine answer, so he answered your breasts.
- They made a great pillow for him. Resting in the crook of your cleavage was something indescribably soothing.
- There was a lot of times he’d just fall asleep resting on your chest, often he’d subconsciously nuzzle in closer to you, relishing in your warmth and steady heartbeat.
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death---dealer · 6 months ago
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Noa x Human! Reader Imagines.
A/N : I am a beacon of sin. Likes and reblogs always appreciated. Thanks y'all!! I do have more Imagines if you guys are interested. Please, please let me know!!! Thanks again. Hope y'all enjoy. Fandom: ( Kingdom of the )Planet of the Apes. Pairing: Noa x Human! Reader. Rating: K. ( Fluffy again, some other mentions of Ape Aggression but nothing too bad/vivid. ) ** Does contain spoilers for Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes.
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Noa unequivocally staring you down. -Ultimately, how the relationship really started. Noa was definitely a lot more subtle about it in the beginning - not sure how he truly felt about you, about… it. He would sit and pass time by watching, no no… Stalking your movements, how they might have varied from how he or any other Ape would move. The way your legs shaped when you walked, the way your hands grasped at things, the way your eyes laid bare everything he needed to know. Echo’s were so easy to read from expression alone and Noa yearned for that, metaphorically reaching his hands out in some feeble attempt that you would grab. He found himself occasionally mimicking your movements to himself when alone, laughing at how utterly awkward they felt to him. He’d shut his eyes then and think about it a bit more.
-He would intensely stare into your eyes whenever you talked one on one. He kept his gaze on you when around others, but not as intense as it was when he had you all to himself. Green, amber and gold speckled eyes followed the minute details of your face, almost down to the wrinkles around your eyes, only reserved when you blessed him with a smile. Rare, but he enjoyed it none-the-less. He sensed, after doing it a few times, that it made you nervous. Your heart raced - Noa swore he could feel it in his feet and something about that made him swell with pride. He’d boost his chest out, wanting to appear more suitable to you, more appealing, more… more… irresistible if you looked at him. But… Then, you would look away quickly, uttering something under your breath to take the attention away from the tension now obviously swirling around the two of you. Noa… He kept his eyes on you, regardless. Though, now it seemed you weren’t aware he was looking so closely.
-As time went on though, and he developed a more personal relationship with you, it… Changed. Noa couldn’t tell anyone why it did, why his eyes would pierce you so deeply, almost to the point where it felt like they were taking you down, further down than you had ever been and you were drowning in golden flecks surrounded by more shades of green than you could count. It left a burning sensation in the back of your mind, almost like bile. It was noticeable, even meters away from him but you buried it deep inside. Secretly, you liked it. Not-so-secretly, Noa knew that you did. He couldn’t explain why you were always in his line of vision, why he felt the need to make his gaze known to you, known to others… Known to others, he thought to himself. At least… Known to anyone he considered a threat. It just was what it was now.
-There were some shameful stares such as the absolute disintegration of another Ape when Noa caught the two of you together during communal dinner time. Mind you, it wasn’t just yourself and this Ape, named Ale, you were also with Anaya, Soona and Noa’s mother, Dar. But, Noa couldn’t separate that anymore. There was just you. He figured you’d be okay with his friends and mother, no one would bother you, you didn't need to be protected from them. But this familiarity with an Ape outside of his inner circle…? No, no. Noa didn't move from his ponderance, looking between you and this Ape on your left side. The fire roared in front of you, obscuring Noa from your view as you explained to Ale that humans often used utensils to eat if available. Noa saw you sign through the vivid orange fire, ‘Not messy.’
Ale shrugged his shoulders and held up a berry before popping it into his mouth, ‘Easier with hands.’
That made you laugh, but the lurch of Noa towards your new friend at your reaction was… Not as funny and it took Dar to finally get him to stop staring down one of his own, intimidatingly, refusing to break eye contact. Noa’s pupils were absolutely blown away, no trace of green or gold to be found. He was broad chested, and you took note that Noa was pushing himself up to appear bigger, more fierce.
Noa signed too fast for you to understand, too abrasive… Words split themselves here and there. ‘Mine’ you got that, ‘stop’ was another, ‘back off’ maybe… but your analysis was all in vain regardless. The gaze he was giving Ale said it all, at least, it did to you, and you wondered if his friends knew the look. Soona questioned Noa silently, but he didn't bother with an answer. Anaya looked between Noa, you and Dar. And based on Dar’s reaction to it, her ability to stop it, she’d seen it before. Maybe even had it happen with Koro when they were younger. You didn't want to ask, you didn't want to pry… But, you watched in baited silence as Noa stood down and huffed at you before pacing off to the right. He had no idea what came over him, but he did what he felt like he needed.
Noticing your scent. Noa was unsure of the feral feeling that the situation gave him when he noticed it beyond just the scent of an Echo. It was yours. He had to deal with Anaya every so often saying something sarcastically about it, about how different it was and that they’d be able to smell you at least a click away, but Noa always shrugged them off.
Pensively, Noa shut his eyes. He was steadily resting back on his feet, crouching and sitting comfortably on his bent legs. Hunching forward, he grasped the ground with his hands, tangling them into the grass below him. Anaya was right. Your smell was very different from the Apes he was often around. He could point out his mother, a few infants that were following her around, Soona… Drawing a deep breath in, he felt like he was suffocating and his ribcage was expanded as far out as it would go without causing intense discomfort.
There was something different. Something almost intoxicatingly sweet. Disgustingly, Noa thought to himself and let his eyes slide open. He looked down at his hands, having now ripped grass out of the Earth. It was like he had tasted the most delectable berry of all time and now he was lingering in the smell that was left behind on his fingertips. He wanted to grab you, hard. Grab you roughly and pull you against him, never let you go, let his strength come in handy in a way that was outside of climbing. He’d consume all of you if you would allow him, he’d do more than that in fact. He’d let himself sink into you both physically and mentally, throwing away caution. Teeth sinking into fragile skin, minds entangling in a brutal dance. Your sweat pouring into his mouth, escaping onto his taste buds. Thoughts now in his mind, messing Noa up. They weren’t just his anymore, they were also yours. He was morbidly curious just how sweet you must have tasted when the smell alone left him feeling the way he was. He was deathly ill wanting to know what you were thinking.
All things made him bare his teeth for a split second, canines glistening in the setting sunlight. Tossing the grass in his hands down on the ground aggressively, Noa sat up completely, almost barrel chested before throwing his body into gear as he finally moved to pace followed by a quick saunter. He needed to find out where your scent was coming from before he unraveled at the seams.
Hand holding. -Definitely a thing you tended to gravitate towards more than Noa. He often liked to keep his hands free to tinker around if needed or to fix something, it was after all, one of his most favorite things. He knew moments when you liked it, or rather… Needed it. Noa with you would do anything to cause him a surge of pride, and that included holding your hand.
-He was cautious about it at first, not sure how to react when he felt the side of your hand against his own. He had gruffed then, avoiding eye contact and you didn't try again.
-The second happenance was accidental. You had slipped on ice, Noa faster to react than you were and he was right in front of you before you had the chance to even brace your hands in preparation of falling. Swallowing softly at the sudden closeness of him, there was obvious heat that rose in you. “T-Thanks.”
Noa’s shoulders shifted as he helped you stand straight up again, your eyes coming to rest on his shoulders as Noa was just a touch taller than you were. Just a bit taller, but given circumstances, he was very strong. “Very… unbalanced.” He said to you in a deeper voice than he intended.
You nodded in agreement, looking down at your feet and then the trail that Noa wanted to take. It appeared icy regardless, and you were mentally preparing yourself to transverse. “Maybe we should have taken a horse.”
He sighed, the movement very apparent to your gaze as you looked over at him. Without a word, Noa held his right hand out. There was suddenly a lump in your throat. Was he…
“Take.” Noa uttered.
You hesitated, clenching your hands to the point where your fingers were slightly whitened.
“You don’t take, you end up on your---”
It was your turn to be faster than light, heart thundering in your chest wildly at the concept of what he was offering to you. You raised your right hand and grasped at his, almost clapping them together from the velocity you put forward. It was just a cupped hand holding, something you knew he would be semi-comfortable with as there was no strict intimacy. He rounded on his feet, much more balanced than you could ever be and began moving forward once again, careful of where he put his gait and hoped that you were smart enough to follow his exact footsteps. You let him move, your arm out-stretched awkwardly as you hadn’t moved in tandem with him. You needed to move, you mumbled inside of your head. You need to move.
You were frozen. And it only took Noa one more step before he tumbled down, ultimately being brought down by your inability to take any more action. You had pulled him down, by default. Your mouth flew open as he laid flat on his back, hands disconnecting at the fact that he had fallen. “Noa---”
He groaned finally, having taken a second to process what happened. “I gave you my hand to help you and you--”
“I’m so sorry.” There was a small touch of a laugh behind your words as Noa just… Rested. He didn't move aside from putting his hands on his chest, flat palmed almost like he was checking for any damage. The fall itself wasn’t bad, but there was ice speckled all over the ground and he couldn’t tell if he fell on any sharp objects. “Here.” You reciprocated the movement Noa had previously given, holding out your hand to help him up.
‘No.’ He signed at you, eyes squirting to gaze up at you due to the sun now angling right at the two of you.
“Noa---”
He shut his eyes and raised his hand, to the left and then to the right as his fingers grazed yours ever so gently. He allowed you to cup his hand. Admittedly, you were unsure if you were able to lift him on your own, and he must have known that. He must have…
“Shit!” You yelled, being tugged down by Noa. It was obvious he didn't use all his strength to do so, just enough to get you on the ground right next to him. It wasn’t a hard fall like his either, you landed relatively gently next to him but still felt like the air had left your lungs, “Ow.”
“Ow.” He said as well, allowing a moment to look at you next to him. The way your hair splayed out on the icy rock, the slight blush of your face. Noa figured that was from the cold, you had no fur to keep you at least sheltered from the winter winds. The last thing to process for both of you were your hands, now deeply entangled within each other. You could feel the sensation of leather, that must have been how his skin really felt… It was enticing, and you wanted nothing more than to trace the palms of his hands with your delicate hands. There was fur encasing his knuckles, thicker this time of year than it was during the late spring and peak summer… Actually, Noa’s hand almost eclipsed yours completely but you weren’t going to complain as you let your eyes fall shut. You’d get up in a few minutes despite your mind telling you over and over to stay.
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idkfitememate · 8 months ago
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Still tired but just wanted to remind you that the Obey Me Brothers (- Satan + Lilith) were probably the “Seven Heavenly Virtues” before they fell/died and that was probably so hard for them like-
Lucifer going from Humility to Pride
Mammon going from Charity to Greed
Leviathan going from Kindness to Envy
Asmodeus going from Chastity to Lust
Beelzebub going from Temperance to Gluttony
And Belphegor going from Diligence to Sloth
Imagine as Lucifer going through it because now you can’t talk with your brothers, now you hold them to an expectation you would’ve never before - and yourself to an even higher one - and watching them loose themselves to their sins.
Watching Mammon lose himself to monetary values to the point where he’d be willing to sell his own brothers out if it came to it, and knowing that at some point he would’ve sold his everything because he believed it was right. Shit thing is that he still loves his brothers, and under the greed is guilt for hurting them like this.
Watching Levi, once a kind and loving man who would never leave anyone out become a self deprecating and destructive mess who shuts the world out. Who spends his time obsessing over what others have that he can’t and fighting tooth and nail to fix that, even if it hurts him. He, like Lucifer, has to be the best at his chosen craft or else it’s all for naught, but unlike Lucifer he’s very vocal about his losses and how much he hates others who have better than him.
Asmo, who at one point was basically repulsed at the idea of carnal love and wanted to wait, to hold out until he found the one he was searching for. Believe if that saving himself for his future partner was the ultimate act of love. And now watching him fall to depravity, unable to feel love unless it’s carnal in some sense. Everything must be passionate, with little room for true love. Feelings pushed aside for the heat of the moment, giving his body away to feel something. Finding no worth in himself unless it’s his body, and that translating over to how he treats his brothers. They have to suck up his shockingly flirty remarks to them because he can’t help it, that’s how he’s forced to show love now; fast, rushed, and carnal.
Watching Beel, a man who took everything in moderation, never allowing himself more than what he needed in food and drink in favor of helping others, loose himself to the mind numbing pleasure of sitting there and eating and drinking and eating and drinking and eating and drinking with no end in sight. As he can’t help himself but do anything for a meal, much like Mammon. Willing to do damn near anything to fill the hole in his stomach. No matter the cost.
And Belphy. A man once so awake and alert and ready for anything that even Lucifer would have to tell him to take a break. Always raring and ready to go and help any and everyone in need sleep his days away. Too lazy to do basic tasks at some points like eat. Lazing about too tired to do anything, including care for those around him. Too tired to do anything.
And the haunting truth that you, as Lucifer, created Wrath. Satan, your youngest brother in age and fourth in power. Knowing on the daily that he puts on a mask, a front so that his rage doesn’t consume him in an all burning inferno. Knowing that any little thing could set him off, and that’d be it. He shares next to nothing with you and your brothers because, while unspoken, it’s known that he’ll never be as close as the six of you. He didn’t experience the war, he didn’t experience the fall, he didn’t experience her death. Unlike your brothers who have all changed in some distressing way he’s always been rage. Always been Wrath. A true sin through and through. Never will you experience the same things and that keeps you separated.
And about her, to know deep in your heart that she, the Virtue of Patients, would’ve become the Sin of Wrath keeps you up at night, her face of smiles turning to a wrathful frown scares you. Nightmares flash behind your eyes of her being mad, furious even, so you starve the nights off with a never ending pile of paperwork and coffee.
… Did I just accidentally character study?-
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princesssarisa · 4 months ago
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My post about whether or not Lydia should be saved from Wickham in modern Pride and Prejudice retellings has gotten more likes and reblogs than I expected. It's made me think of another possibility of why Austen didn't save her from him.
Presumably, Lydia and Wickham's marriage could have been avoided in only three ways that would have left Lydia's reputation intact. The first is if they had only been planning to elope, but it was prevented, as with Georgiana. The second is if they had been found earlier and separated before Lydia lost her virginity. Or else Lydia could have listened to Darcy and left Wickham, and then Darcy could have used his influence to protect her honor: e.g. by claiming that she was kidnapped, or by arranging a decent marriage for her.
If Austen had wanted to make any of those choices to free Lydia, she could have done it without drastically changing the plot. But if she had, it might have felt a bit too "literary" and unrealistic.
I've just been re-watching some of Dr. Octavia Cox's literary analysis videos on YouTube. They reminded me that Austen always loved to skewer the tropes and clichés of other literature, especially Gothic melodrama, whether in outright parody or in subtler deconstruction.
Dr. Cox's video on the elder Eliza's fate in Sense and Sensibility particularly highlights this trend in Austen. She argues that Eliza's story is a classic, clichéd Gothic melodrama (a beautiful orphan, an abusive uncle, thwarted romance, forced marriage to a cruel man, a "fall" into a life of "sin," and ultimate illness and death, all narrated by Colonel Brandon in heightened, poetic language), and that Austen's point in including it was arguably to highlight that this wouldn't be the fate of her heroines. Marianne comes close to it with Willoughby and with her near-fatal illness, but in the end she's saved. Austen's point was arguably to say "Yes, I know all about this type of melodrama, I know all the clichés, but I'm relegating it to the backstory, because that's not what I want to write."
(I don't know if everyone would interpret the elder Eliza's storyline this way, but it's how Dr. Cox reads it.)
Maybe with Lydia's fate, and with the backstory of how Georgiana was freed from Wickham, Austen was doing something similar.
I'm not enough of an expert on Georgian literature to know if the rescuing of girls from predatory men with their virginity and honor intact was a cliché or not. But it does appear in late 18th century comic opera. For example, Mozart's Don Giovanni: the title character is the ultimate womanizer, but he has no success with any of the women he tries to prey on over the course of the opera. His seductions are stopped by the timely, chance arrivals of his enemies, his victims get away unscathed, and he pays for his crimes with his life in the end. Or The Marriage of Figaro: the Count's designs on Susanna are thwarted, and he's humiliated and forced to beg his wife's forgiveness.
If stories of womanizers being thwarted and punished, and their female victims saved with virtue intact, were as common in the literature of the day as they are in opera from that era, then maybe Austen used Wickham and Lydia to deconstruct them.
We definitely see some skewering of poetic cliche in the fact that despite Mrs. Bennet's fears/hopes, Lydia's honor is saved with a bribe instead of a duel.
Maybe like the Eliza backstory in Sense and Sensibility, the backstory of Georgiana's near-elopement can be read as a more perfect "literary" example of a girl escaping a cad's clutches. The elopement was thwarted partly by pure chance, as Darcy paid a surprise visit just before Wickham and Georgiana meant to run off, and partly because Georgiana was a “good victim,” whose conscience got the better of her and who chose her family and honor over her whirlwind romance.
But similar luck isn't on Lydia's side, nor does she make the right, “virtuous" choices. Darcy doesn't find the lovers until Lydia has already been living with Wickham, and like a typical reckless teenager, she cares nothing for either her reputation or her family compared to her infatuation with him. So Darcy is forced to bribe Wickham to marry her, Wickham goes unpunished except that he loses his hope of marrying rich, and all the characters have to live with the results of the scandal for the rest of their lives.
By having Georgiana's successful escape from Wickham be mere backstory while foregrounding Lydia's lack of escape, maybe once again Austen was saying "I could have freed Lydia this way – I know the tropes other authors might have used to free her – but I'm a more cynically realistic writer than that, so I won't."
I have no idea if this is valid or not, but it's a theory.
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endlessdreamworld · 1 month ago
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for the yandere alphabet thing could u do aventurine from hsr?
H, N, S, and T
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Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them? You'd go through many hells with this absolutely shattered individual, Aventurine's Inferno if you will. A different hell for a different sin. One of the more common hells you might experience is the one that manifests from any kind of firm rejection. He's initially understanding about this aspect of your relationship. In his earlier years, he's had to do many many many things things that he didn't want to. But he learned to swallow of his pride and do what needs to be done, so why can't you? The ultimate taboo would be an escape attempt (if it comes to that) or trying to end the relationship in some sort of way. You can't do that to him! Why would you do that?! Are you really going to abandon him just like that? Like everyone else? Why whywhy why
Naughty: How would they punish their darling? He wouldn't really want to enact any kind of punishments initially during the adjustment period. In fact, he'd want to start it as a normal relationship and only veer into the danger zone if it comes to that. He's on the delusional end of things -- a very "This hurts me more, than it does you." He'd stick to non violent punishments, which sounds nice but it ends up being worse in many ways.
The typical punishment would be a solitary confinement type of situation where you stare at blank walls to deny you any and all stimulation so the next time the door opens, you'll be grateful for his presence, as you should be. If you were particularly petulant, it's isolation but worse. You'd be isolated in darkness with the lights coming on irregularly.
A combination of white room torture and sleep deprivation is enough to break your brain a little bit in ways that pain couldn't -- not that he'd ever actually physically hurt you. Pain makes you defiant, as does taking away privileges. He knew that from experience. But some extreme isolation? That'll do plenty.
Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)? He is the logical product of his upbringing. Everyone who he crossed paths with in his earlier years, outside of his far earlier years with his family, was a miserable experience. The guy was used in every conceivable way, so meeting a genuine soul that wants the best for him drives him crazy. He'd try to behave normally, or as normal as can be, but his darling would be walking around in a minefield although they wouldn't know until they stepped on a mine.
Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves? It breaks his heart, truly. That it even had to come to that is agonizing but there's really no other choice. Letting you go? Of course not, you're basically already married in his mind. He just needs to work his way up. Seeing your tears and heartbreak would spur the instinct at the core of him where he wants -- no, needs to provide for you. Tears and crying means you need to be comforted. Of course, you'd want anything other than having him near you like that. What you really crave is space, but the wires in his brain aren't connected properly. Tears would be met with rewards, rejection would be met with some punishments.
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two-stars · 4 months ago
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fuck it. I’m analyzing Dr Ratio’s eidolons.
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I interpret eidolons as different facets of a persons character, tying back into their journey in life. (Also this shit loooong so I’m putting it under cut)
1. Pride Comes Before a Fall: this phrase originates from the Bible (proverbs 16:18), which talk of how the sin of pride will eventually lead to destruction, and telling one to practice humility*. To me, this phrase refers possibly to Ratio’s desire to be noticed by Nous. His pride originating from his previous achievements, lauded and touted as a prodigy from a young age (this is, of course, speculation because MIHOYO WONT GIVE ME RATIO LOOREEE). Through this pride, we can obviously see what happens next: he is never noticed by Nous, this is his fall. Either in the eyes of others, or himself (as it is never outright stated that Ratio sought the gaze of Nous, but I subscribe heavily to this line of thinking, due to his voiceline when you max level him: “If this day I have not gained the recognition of Nous, it stands to reason I never will at any point in the future”).
2. The Divine is In the Details: This is an idiom, although it’s more commonly said as “God is in the details”. This phrase is meant to emphasize the importance of the smaller, overlooked details which make up the whole. This is used most often in art and architecture, but can be applied to many other things. I connect this to Ratio’s meticulous nature as a scholar and researcher, but I also draw lines to his 1st eidolon. After Ratio is rejected by the higher powers, he turns instead to the “insignificant” common people, realizing their importance— we know that Ratio values all life, even one’s “marked by failure”, which others may overlook. Real divinity is not the God, but rather the beauty of humanity’s falls and successes.
3. Know Thyself: This was a proverb written upon the temple of Apollo, in Delphi, Ancient Greece. This has many meanings, from knowing your limits (either as one’s place in the universe, or your own mortality), to the broader interpretation by Plato as knowing your soul, and a a common theme of through studying the self could one know the universe. All of these relate heavily to Ratio, considering his tenets of self-improvement. He also references in his line when he finds an enemy target, “You learn to know yourself before your enemy.” (Which is ALSO a quote from Sun Tzu’s The Art of War.) I think this one is pretty self explanatory as a continuation to the previous Eidolons, after his rejection, he seeks to reevaluate (relearn) himself and his stance in life.
4. Ignorance Is Blight: This represents Ratio’s goal to eradicate ignorance and stupidity across the universe, but it is also a inverse on the popular idiom “ignorance is bliss”. This idiom is basically everything Ratio stands against, he will know and say the truth unfiltered, even if it is uncomfortable. I also see this as Ratio finally discovering his calling as a teacher.
5. Sic Itur Ad Astra*: Written in the Aeneid, meaning “thus one journeys to the stars”. It has merged over time with another phrase in the Aeneid, “opta ardua pennis astra sequi” (meaning: desire to pursue the difficult-to-reach stars) becoming the common encouragement, “Reach for the stars.” We know Ratio never settles for doing anything in halves, and as a teacher, he constantly pushes others and himself to reach for high goals. Although his methods can be harsh, it is ultimately through strife (“— it is only in moments on solitude and despair, when help is absent, that fools grasp how to pick themselves up.”), that he seeks to unlock the potential of every person. This is most obviously seen in the Trailblazer Continuance quest: Crown of Mundane and Divine where he leverages the situation to try and topple the blind worship of the Genius Society on the space station.
6. Vincit Omnia Veritas: Meaning: Truth conquers all things. Surface level, this one is pretty straightforward too, Ratio values truth highly, and to him, it is the antithesis to ignorance, and therefore knowledge. As his Ultimate voiceline goes, he says, “Knowledge is the measure of all things. It reveals truth, and falsehood.” What I want to focus on however, is his pose in the eidolon. It is the exact same pose as Michelangelo’s David statue. This depiction is of David before his famous battle with Goliath. In this eidolon, Ratio is the figure David, who was also known as a symbol of the protection of civil liberties. And in by interpretation, Goliath is the stupidity he wants to eradicate. Just as truth conquers all things, Veritas will conquer all ignorance.
*— I also think this is why he consistently downplays himself and avoids the spotlight (calling himself a supporting character).
*— fun fact, this phrase is also used as the motto of Cambridge University, very fitting.
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danburys · 1 year ago
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wlwgif's pride month celebration: day 1, tv show ➻ sense8
I've been thinking about my life, and all of the mistakes that I've made. The ones that stay with me, the ones that I regret, are the ones that I made because of fear. For a long time, I was afraid to be who I am because I was taught by my parents that there's something wrong with someone like me. Something offensive, something you would avoid, maybe even pity. Something that you could never love. My mom, she's a fan of St. Thomas Aquinas. She calls pride a sin. And of all the venal and mortal sins, St. Thomas saw pride as the queen of the seven deadlies. He saw it as the ultimate gateway sin that would turn you quickly into a sinaholic. The greatest box man in the world! But hating isn't a sin on that list. Neither is shame. I was afraid of this parade because I wanted so badly to be a part of it. So today, I'm marching for that part of me that was once too afraid to march. And for all the people who can't march, the people living lives like I did. Today, I march to remember that I'm not just a me. I'm also a we. And we march with pride.
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my-beloved-ghosts-and-me · 1 year ago
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My thoughts about which deadly sin each Usher represents.
I would like to say that they all could easily represent more than one sin, but only one sin was deadly to them and that's what I'm using as a parameter.
Roderick and Madeline - Greed
The twins are Greed. For me it's pretty obvious they're Greed because even Roderick said so. No amount of money would ever be enough. Their greed for more was the beginning of their downfall when, decades ago, they decided to accept that deal.
Prospero - Lust
Another one that I find pretty obvious. His life was all about a luxurious and hedonistic lifestyle, but ultimately what caused his death was his decision to keep the orgy going.
Camille - Envy
I think Camille was envy because that's exactly what led her to her death.
Camille's resentment towards Victorine comes from having to deal with all the dirt from the family, but her sister who is just like her, as Verna said, gets to be their "Madre Theresa" just because she hid better. This is what led Camille to be so hateful of Victorine, her envy for her.
If Camille wasn't so envious of Victorine she wouldn't be so determined to bring her down, if she wasn't so envious she wouldn't be so personally focused on finding the dirty Victorine was hiding despise Verna giving her the chance to step back and not get inside.
Ultimately envy led Camille to her death.
Leo - Gluttony
Leo can easily be Gluttony because his over-consumption and over-indulgence of drugs and drinks it's exactly what led him to his death. Pluto was never dead, he was hallucinating because of all the drugs he took the night before. (I do believe the hallucination was especially so vivid because of Verna though. She disseminated the idea that led each Usher to their death but also gave them the chance to step back. She offers temptation and the chance to regret their choice)
Jules even let it clear, to us, the audience, the alarming amount of drugs he consumed. His drug-induced hallucination ultimately led him to his death. Had Leo not consumed too many drugs, he wouldn't hallucinated that morning and wouldn't have gone after a new cat that caused him to spiral into a deepening psychosis aggravated by the excessive amount of drugs he consumed on a daily basis.
Victorine - Wrath
Victorine for me represents wrath because that was her downfall.
She was rude to Verna when they bumped into each other for the first time, she was rude to her security guard after the conversation with her older siblings... That shows us how easily angry she was all the time.
She was angry that she needed to put more effort into her job because it was harder for her, a Usher bastard. She was angry that her older siblings got to grow up with her father figure around and with the "legendary Annabel Lee", the only woman Roderick loved enough to marry while her mother was just a nurse. She was angry that their father had thrown the food at them just to see them fighting for it. She was so angry at everything and eventually, that was going to blow up.
But anger it's not wrath. Wrath, by the Bible, it's when you get consumed by rage to the point of acting irrationally and immorally. 
And in a fit of rage, blinded by the wrath that bubbled inside her all her life as an Usher, she killed her partner, went mad with regret, and when she realized what she had done she killed herself consumed with remorse.
Wrath was the sin that led Victorine to her death.
Tamerlane - Pride
First of all the sheer amount of mirrors in her house, it's a huge clue that she's Pride, but there are others.
She considers herself above Juno and even calls her "it", refusing to acknowledge that she's a human too. And why? Because she's a "junkie"?
Tamerlane considers herself better than her siblings too. She only stopped texting at their funerals because her husband stopped her. Their funeral meant nothing to her because it wasn't about her or her launch.
She thinks of herself above her husband too. Could be anyone there, any face, the brand would be a success. And why? Because she, alone, is behind it.
Just before her death, she could have given up her pride and called her husband. But she didn't. And she died completely alone because of it while destroying the last mirror and the last way she could see herself, her ugly self.
Pride was Tamerlane's death through and through.
Fred - Sloth
Fred is Sloth because he didn't demolish the building as his father ordered, he procrastinated. What led his wife to the orgy was his lack of attitude in their relationship, his lack of proactively in their life.
Fred tried to be like his father but he couldn't keep up with his rhythm, he was a cover band off-key, always a little slower.
If you look closely, all things are always delicated interconnected.
Fred's sin caused Prospero's death and his own. A full circle.
Had Fred stopped procrastinating and started doing his job, the building would not be there. Had Fred stopped being accommodated in his relationship, Morrie wouldn't be tempted to go to Perry's orgy.
Poetically the consequences of the sin that ultimately led Fred to his death were the slowest. Sloth is lazy after all. He was the first to sin, but the last to die. And he died laying down, without moving, representing perfectly his deadly sin and exactly how he lived his life.
Obs: Fred and Prospero are so interconnected, they are like a double ouroboros. The end and the beginning of the Usher's heirs massacre.
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apoloadonisandnarcissus · 27 days ago
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I love being a wild card in this fandom.  
What I love about Sauron/Mairon x Galadriel is that their dynamic isn’t some basic Light vs. Dark nonsense. Because this is Tolkien, not some Hollywood digested cr*p, as the professor says himself:
Some reviewers have called the whole thing simple-minded, just a plain fight between Good and Evil, with all the good just good, and the bad just bad. Pardonable, perhaps (though at least Boromir has been overlooked) in people in a hurry, and with only a fragment to read, and, of course, without the earlier written but unpublished Elvish histories. But the Elves are not wholly good or in the right. Not so much because they had flirted with Sauron; as because with or without his assistance they were 'embalmers'. They wanted to have their cake and eat it: to live in the mortal historical Middle-earth because they had become fond of it (and perhaps because they there had the advantages of a superior caste), and so tried to stop its change and history, stop its growth, keep it as a pleasaunce, even largely a desert, where they could be 'artists' – and they were overburdened with sadness and nostalgic regret. Tolkien, Letter 154
This is what I've been telling you guys. The Elves are not hopeless victims of Sauron, nor are they the "heroes" of the story. Tolkien lore is complex, it's not "pure Good vs. pure Evil" like the "lorebros" or the Peter Jackson fanboys claim. Stop believing their nonsense, they don't know what they are talking about. The battle of “good vs. evil”, in Tolkien legendarium, ultimately, happens within each character.
When they first met, Mairon and Galadriel both turned their backs on literal heaven (Valinor) because of their pride: Galadriel wanted the glory of seeking and destroying Sauron for herself; Mairon couldn’t bring himself to face judgement from the Valar. Mairon was the repentant sinner, while Galadriel was on her way to become one.
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Galadriel is a literal ticking bomb, ready to explode and turn Dark at any moment, in "Rings of Power". Mairon was drawn to the darkness within her, and not to her “light” (this is another way he self-deceives himself). Her “light” (= Two Trees of Valinor) is merely aesthetic. She doesn’t have that light, and that’s why she’ll use Nenya, and her Mirror and her Phial to harvest purest Light, and become the “Lady of Light”.
In “Rings of Power” there is a clue that Mairon might be blood bound to Morgoth, and, so, he’s always unconsciously seeking his former master, and that’s why he wanted to serve Galadriel. Because he's a Maia, he was created to be a servant to a Vala. The deal, wasn't her becoming his servant, but the other way around.
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And we are talking about Sauron, here: his whole character arc is not one of redemption, so he the interest he believes he has on "Light" is not real, it's one of his self-deceptions. And for Sauron to never stop grouping Galadriel’s mind, thousands of years into the future, when he’s already officially the “shadow of Morgoth” it’s because he recognizes her potential for darkness, not her light.  
This doesn’t mean that he’s unredeemable, mind you. Tolkien’s work is infused with Christian doctrine (mainly Catholicism), and in this religion one can always find redemption and forgiveness if one actually repents for their sins, and makes amends for them (which will be Galadriel's case). And this is also present in Tolkien lore: no character is unredeemable on his world. But in the legendarium, after refusing to stand trial before the Valar, Sauron never truly repents, and becomes the "a reincarnation of Evil" aka Morgoth come again.
And there is Sauron. In the Silmarillion and Tales of the First Age Sauron was a being of Valinor perverted to the service of the Enemy and becoming his chief captain and servant. He repents in fear when the First Enemy is utterly defeated, but in the end does not do as was commanded, return to the judgement of the gods. He lingers in Middle-earth [Halbrand]. Very slowly, beginning with fair motives: the reorganising and rehabilitation of the ruin of Middle-earth, neglected by the gods', he becomes a reincarnation of Evil, and a thing lusting for Complete Power – and so consumed ever more fiercely with hate (especially of gods and Elves). All through the twilight of the Second Age the Shadow is growing in the East of Middle-earth, spreading its sway more and more over Men – who multiply as the Elves begin to fade. Tolkien Letter 131
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Sauron was of course not 'evil' in origin. He was a 'spirit' corrupted by the Prime Dark Lord (the Prime sub-creative Rebel) Morgoth. He was given an opportunity of repentance, when Morgoth was overcome, but could not face the humiliation of recantation, and suing for pardon; and so his temporary turn to good and 'benevolence' ended in a greater relapse, until he became the main representative of Evil of later ages. But at the beginning of the Second Age he was still beautiful to look at, or could still assume a beautiful visible shape – and was not indeed wholly evil, not unless all 'reformers' who want to hurry up with 'reconstruction' and 'reorganization' are wholly evil, even before pride and the lust to exert their will eat them up. The particular branch of the High-Elves concerned, the Noldor or Loremasters, were always on the side of 'science and technology', as we should call it: they wanted to have the knowledge that Sauron genuinely had, and those of Eregion refused the warnings of Gil-galad and Elrond. Tolkien Letter 153
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Halbrand was repentant Mairon. Annatar is Mairon falling back into evil.
Galadriel is not yet the “repentant sinner” Tolkien described her to be, in his legendarium, either. In Season 2, she doesn’t own up to her actions, and is still making excuses for them: “I was deceived”; “Sauron used me”; “Under his harp I was played to a melody not of my choosing”, bla bla bla.
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She’s still in self-denial about her actions in Season 1: she’s the one who tempted Mairon with promises of power and, pretty much directly, caused him to choose deception over redemption, and condemned Middle-earth to Sauron’s tyranny (this is also somewhat compatible to what Tolkien wrote, because in the lore the Elves are also to blame).
And I’m almost certain she’ll have to f*ck up even harder in order to have a “eye opening” moment. Because one can’t really be a “penitent” (using Tolkien’s words) unless one takes ownership of one's actions, and makes the conscious decision to atone for them. 
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