#post-chapter ramblings

[myrmyrtheorca]

So, the thing I wouldn't shut up about is finally out for the internet to enjoy! Rejoice! Myell will finally settle and stop hassling us with Killer Whale struggles!

....NOT

Because the struggles have just begun!

Killer Whale's reception has been... terrifyingly positive. And I'm beyond thankful for that, of course. The first chapter was meant to be an introduction to the Cavalieri mother branch situation and I'm glad I was able to convery every character's personality in a way that's comprehensible to the reader.

So... why did I say terrifyingly?

Because I'm scared shitless that the next chapters will not live up to the first one. And this will probably happen with every release, so I better find a way to shut this feeling down somehow. I know one can't realistically write a story with the same tone and feeling throughout the whole plot, but I guess I started out with one of my favorite things about KW, which is setting the eerie, dangerous mood of the Cavalieri, and that makes my brain think that if I don't do the exact same thing it's going to be boring.

But that was the start. The POV will switch back to someone inside the Cavalieri estate, but first there's Namimori. And I couldn't just dedicate the same type of descriptive level to characters everyone already know and love. I tried to balance this, but I really hope to have done some justice to the source material too.

Lots of words to say I went completely insane and had to lay down because my head was spinning.

Anyways, I wanted to thank everyone who's been there to support me both during the process and with the release, and I hope to have given you some good time with my delusional little world. Updates on the next chapter are coming soon!

[forgettable-au]

END OF CHAPTER ONE

FORGETTABLE-AU (Page 65-72)

* Time to put this puzzle together.

[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]

[gogodollie]

"sister imperator won’t call copia his title because she doesn’t want to give him an ounce of respect/power!!!!!!!" she won’t call him by his title because she was bouncing on nihil’s dick while calling him papa and she does NOT need to associate copia with that

[wasyago]

the brainrot won

[fumifooms]

I don’t like minimizing the importance and gravity of Laios and Toshiro’s fight into just being a childish squabble, even if to a degree it is framed that way, because to both of them it has a lot of personal significance and emotional weight and runs very deep to their characters… The fight isn’t nothing it’s a LOT, they made up but it’s not something easy to express and to get over for either of them which makes it all the more meaningful! I’m on both sides but there very much are sides, there’s no "they’re both having a ball, Toshiro and Laios hand in hand yay" side to the fight, that comes after

The fight with Toshiro WAS very scary to Laios, almost existentially so, but it’s moreso the "I thought I’d made a friend!!" bit and my god. My god actually

Like it’s not "just" about oh his friend liking him less than he thought, THAT IS SO MUCH. It’s a bond he thought he had being a lie it’s all the time and moments spent together either being a lie from his perspective or marred now looking back. It’s not only being upset at Toshiro for lying but upset at himself that he’s so easy to fool, it’s being upset that there’s something so wrong with you that you can’t even tell if your "close buddy" even actually likes you or not, it’s like. Holding my head. He can’t trust his own vision of events that happened do you see. There’s always this film of distrust that it could be a lie that should be there when he interacts with people there’s always this sense of cloak and dagger to expect backstabs out of nowhere because you CAN’T see it coming you CAN’T you CAN’T there’s something about you which makes it impossible so you CAN’T-

He’s so scared of not being able to read people. He knows it’s a weak spot he has, he’s always known. All of these bits are centered around social expectations and betrayals, the assumption that he doesn’t belong either in society or with other humans.

And Laios’ level of awareness is actually sort of complex to analyze, but it’s there, there’s how out of him and Falin he was the one sensitive to the ~aura of hatred~ he felt from the townspeople, there’s of course his nightmares whispering to him about the mocking looks, and how yeah actually he realizes that his gold stripper coworker was taking advantage of him. There’s of course the Winged Lion speech about his trauma and how he fundamentally mistrusts/dislikes humans to some deep seated degree, this distrust that he still keeps under control always. There’s how pre-canon he often wanted to suggest eating monsters but never worked up the courage to bring it up with the others. There’s how he gets across as stoic when he isn’t being enthusiastic…… We don’t know how aware and wary he is exactly in the moment but we do know he has some anxiety around social stuff, and looking back he does notice and aughh augh, the sense you have to hide yourself to not get hurt and be on your guard and shit and.

When you don’t know what to look out for and when to look out for it, the general ‘common sense’ of not always trusting people or noticing when someone’s messing with you becomes hypervigilance in social settings

"Man they really know what you hate huh". Being socially unaware literally plagues him, he knows, he knows it so well.

It’s so quick that it’s almost hard to digest how literal and blatant Laios summoning his monster to crush all the people who’ve hurt him is. His literal go-to coping mechanism for comfort in his literal monster-induced emotionally intense nightmares, saving him by taking away the upsetting element (the humans)

"Monsters are his coping fantasy, where they can whisk him away from humanity, all the hurt it’s caused him and its arbitrary rules" with the subtlety of a brick. Monsters are his comfort safe zone "because they kill humans" yes but no it’s because he pits them as the guardians against humans who to him are in the role of the agressors. To him they represent freedom from the shackles of what it means to be part of humanity, a fundamentally social species

[bamsara]

I dont know if it was intentional but I love that Narinder when he sees Lamb throwing up he turns gentle and pushes their wool and ears back so they dont get stained with vomit and for some reason it reminded me of how when Nari was throwing up too after the nightmare he had when they were on route to fight Leshy, Lambert helped him with camellias for the nausea.

Ahh, parallels. I think.

IM SO GLAD YOU POINTED THAT OUT allow me to ramble for just a moment.

Narinder was trapped in the Afterlife for over 1000 years, with little social skills and plagued by wishing for vengeance and his only company being two kittens who become disciples under his rule. He has terrible social skills, if not lacking them entirely.

(I would argue that Aym and Baal also have horrific nonexistent social skills, so those three cat's can't really help each other communicate properly to anyone else outside themselves.)

It can be argued that since The One Who Waits had other vessels to pass time and try to kill /annoy his siblings before the prophesized Lamb arrival, that he would have developed them a little bit more, but I would argue that the power balance would have been oodles more severe since the vessels weren't the promised one. He didn't need them, so if they no longer were of service or disobeyed him, he got rid of them. Whether just sending them out or killing them, any how.

Lamb, however, knows they are the last Lamb, the prophesized liberator of The One Who Waits, and therefore his only option. They knew that they were his only reasonable way out of there (whether they asked for it or not) so they were oodles more comfortable than how a professional relationship would have been.

So they asked questions, bothered him, played and ran around him. Complained and vented to him. Yapped and yapped. What is he gonna do? Kill them? Find a new vessel? He can't. "You're as trapped into this prophecy as much as I am, so let's be friends"

Example parts from Chapter 3:

The power balance equalizes because Lamb did not see his presence a God, but rather a fellow prisoner and victim of fate. Rude and demanding, but in the same chains as they were. 'My lord' was simply formalities at first.

This puts Narinder / The One Who Waits in social situations he hasn't been in (or hardly been in) in over a thousand years, and frankly, he had no idea how to navigate them:

Example from Chapter 5:

The God of Death has not needed to comfort or 'be there' for someone in a long, long time. The Lamb's presence is what forces him to try, even if his first attempt aren't perfect. So in that same chapter, he'll ask them a question to distract them. Conversation. Like how they do it.

While I won't post a screenshot of everytime this happens in written format (not including the dreams/memories/flashbacks that haven't been posted yet)-

The One Who Waits is pushed outside of his bubble when it comes to socializing in a way that isn't just 'God-to-Lowly-Vessal' format. He has to talk to them like a person, because he's being talked to like a person, not a god on a pedestal.

Obviously after the final battle and betrayal (to both of them, otherwise known as the Grand Miscommunication) this means nothing for a while as tempers are still high and feelings are hurt. But overtime, this returns, and can show in small ways (ways that may not seem like comfort but is certainly an attempt) like just in Chapter 18:

Trying to bring them an 'offering' (breakfast) mirroring other times the Lamb has done the same for him:

Crudely offering to replace something they are upset at losing/later offering reassurance abet in a curt way:

And what you mentioned: earlier when the Lamb is throwing up, narration shows they're having trouble with keeping their wool, cloak, bell, ect all back at the same time. He can see that. He has a mental boiling pot explosion over the fact that helping them is even a want that he has after the denial crisis he's experiencing where the only answer a minute ago seemed like he needed to kill them, and he chose comfort.

It is intentional. Narinder is learning how to show care, and allowing himself to show care. Slowly, and not perfect, but learning.

[journey-to-the-attic]

one thing about ik is that she will always reach out

[beautifully-imperfections]

Falin and her little dragon

[buff-muffin]

Dear, Lawlu shippers.

I am not that big into shipping, in general. But nothing will stop fanfiction and curiosity. I am writing to you all today to ask if any of you have any recommendations for good slow burn Lawlu fics. I’m looking the most leg kicking, pillow hugging, soul squealing fluff of watching idiots fall in love I want to see HOW people see them falling. I don’t want to be told they’re in love I want to see it. So please give me recommendations I beg of you.

Kindest regards.

[turtle-ly]

did you know that macaque's staff has a name in jttw too? It's called the "acquiescent staff of iron"/ “Acquiescent Iron Pole Arm” (随心铁杆兵, "Suíxīn tiěgǎn bīng"), or Tùy Tâm Thiết Can Binh in vnese. It clearly mirrors wukong's staff in name, the “As-You-Will Gold-Banded Staff” (Ruyi Jingu Bang), or Như Ý Kim Cô Bổng.

Now here's me being crazy based on the vnese translation alone, do NOT think of this as truth but there's at least a smidge of sense in my rambling because vietnamese is very close to chinese due to our history (the fancy names above and our old literature used a kind of phonetic translation of chinese called Hán Việt) and the meaning of chinese words more or less can be inferred by our Hán Việt version:

So the word "Như Ý" in wukong's staff name in almost only used in the phrase/blessing "Vạn sự như ý" in modern vnese, which means "may all things go your way/according to your wishes". Meanwhile, the phrase "Tùy Tâm" is used when asked about some sort of favor, for example a charity when asking for your donation will ask you to give an amount "according to your heart".

You see it right? "Như Ý" is more passive, you wish for it but not necessary go out of your way to achieve it, and "Tùy Tâm" being used in situations where your own conscience/empathy is judged, it demands you to actively question yourself to make an action. I've decided the names can play into mtwgo shadowpeach's mental states. Wukong wants freedom but afraid to pursue it at the cost of his sworn brotherhood, while macaque has always assessed the effort it takes to join in a fight, but ultimately he decided to go through all that hardship to right this wrong.

Furthermore, "Ý" means thoughts/ideas/will, which is one of the reasons the book has wukong store his staff in his ear/take the staff out of his "head", "Tâm" means heart in its literal sense and feelings in a slightly more abstract sense, so thats why i have macaque pull his shadow staff from the magic core in his chest. Fun detail isnt it? :3c

One more thing is that theres a chinese saying that goes like "mind-monkey, will-horse" (Tâm Viên Ý Mã) so Tâm -> Mind is also a very wukong thing. That says, in mtwgo macaque's staff/ his strength to fight is summoned to serve wukong :)

The altered form of wukong's staff that macaque gonna use in mtwgo will be called Suixin Jingu Bang (As-You-Feel Gold-Banded Staff or Tùy Tâm Kim Cô Bổng), combining macaque's resolve/loyalty and wukong's strength. When he swings that staff with its body painted in his own color, his victims will also know wukong's might when the golden glint of its ends becomes the last thing they see.

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Can we talk about how Macaque sees what other people (LBD Peng Wukong) do and mimics them? Can we talk about how his whole thing in jttw is copying monkey king and trying to replace him and how LMK actually keeps that going but in the context of a performer? You can hear echos of the way Peng talks to Macaque in how Macaque talks to Mk during shadowplay and every other interaction before he starts to chill out. You can see and hear echos of how the Lady Bone Demon treats and speaks to Macaque in how he interacts with Mei and Mk and the rest of the crew during season 3. You can see the way he tries to mimic what he believes Wukong is until he realizes he's way off-base. You can see how he mimics Monkey King's cockiness when he needs to feign confidence. You can see the way he mimics those with power to show he has power. And when that performance ends... well, he's actually pretty chill. Look at him he's quieter and more chill, less broody, content with not being the main focal point when they're planning, he doesn't even argue with Monkey King during the season 4 finale at any point because the performance is over. i DUNNO I'M JUST THINKING AND I THINK IT'S KINDA NEAT I DUNNO IF THEY DID THAT ON PURPOSE OR IF IT'S COINCIDENCE I FEEL LIKE IT WAS ON PURPOSE IN THIS ESSAY I WILL-

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

x

[little-pondhead]

Anyone else??

[blue-howlite]

Look at them just stealing the show with their entrance (yes this post is to ramble about the recent chapters, get ready for a unhinged ride on the "Found family trope" rollercoaster).

People are like "Why are the best healer in the world and the guy that's always compared to Kayden here???" and they're just chilling being relatable, especially Kartein.

Them gathering around Jiwoo, not even trying to hide that they care about him. Like I would have expected Pluton to at least take a little distance and maybe judge Kayden and Kartein for being so close to him but he's just "Yes, I must stay close to this child."

Kayden and Kartein are so parent coded while Pluton is the socially unaware uncle that's just so out of it while taking in the practical aspects. He would absolutely teach Jiwoo how to properly stretch while Kayden and Kartein tell him to stop being so nice to everyone.

"Look at my son! ...proud is not the word I'm looking for" moment. Of course they're all super proud of Jiwoo. They can't stand the fact that he doesn't take advantage of the situation and has these moral/honor standards, but without that he would have never charmed these guys let's be for real now.

THEY'RE SO FAMILY CODED PLEASE JUDGING OTHER FAMILIES LIKE THEY'RE NOT A BUNCH OF LUNATICS THEMSELVES

The way Kayden leans towards Kartein like they're gossiping while Pluton listens in and gives his input to the convo, please they're a bunch of mothers talking shit about the other families at school.

The way they criticise Ian's education is the most parental thing I've ever seen.

The whole chapter was just Kartein being the sassy mother that worries about other kids disrespecting his, Kayden being the unhinged father that gossips and asks "Did you win?" whenever his kid gets into a fight at school, and Pluton the judging uncle that criticises his brother's parenting but joins sides with him when there are other parents.

Tell me that's not their dynamic.

Pluton always compared to Kayden and their "rivalry" being actually one sided is just so adult siblings coded, then Pluton going to Jiwoo like "Hey I'll show you something cool your dad hasn't taught you" is just uncle behaviour.

Kartein and Kayden not approving of Pluton doing what he wants and then realising they did the exact same thing is such a parent thing.

One thing is "They're such parental figures to Jiwoo", one is when they literally act like his parents even around other people.

[mywifeismothman]

Aidairo has ruined my life but I just can’t stop reading Tbhk. It’s come to the point where the looming dread of the ending and all I’ve learned about the characters causes me to cry every time I think too long about the series, every single new chapter kills me. (crying writing this right now)

It’s such a good story, with well crafted characters and lore, but god forbid you get attached to any of the characters, because either half of them are dead, or you know they’ll end up horribly depressed and/or traumatized.

AND CHAPTER 118, AIDAIRO LET THEM BE HAPPY FOR MORE THAN 5 MINUTES PLEASEE

My favorite character is kou, but at this point , he’s more of a discomfort character than a comfort character. I literally can’t think about him for too long without crying.

I need someone to rant to about all the intricacies of this series, none of my friends have read past the part that appeared in the anime and it’s killing me.

JUST LOOK AT THESE PANELS

(Spoilers for chapter 118)

THE ONE TIME THEYRE ABLE TO BE HAPPY, THEY ARE HAUNTED BY THE WORLD WHERE THEY COULDNT BE, I HATE YOU AIDAIRO.

IN THIS WORLD KOU CALLS MITSUBA BY HIS FIRST NAME, GOD PLEASE BE LESS TRAGIC

WHY DO MITSUBA AND KOU CHAPTERS HAVE TO BE SO BITTERSWEET, THEY SPEND HALF THE TIME BEING DEPRESSING, THEN DROP SOME OF THE SWEETEST INTERACTIONS THAT SHOW HOW MUCH THEH CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER, IM GOING TO CRY SO HARD WHEN THEY INEVITABLY HAVE A SAD ENDING.

THIS CHAPTER AND THE NIGHT OUT ARC ARE KILLING ME

Also, I’m really curious what happened to the Amane on this world. Tsukasa is dead, so he should have lived a full life, but he died young still. I’m really interested in what he’s doing in the red house still, and the truth about the monster under the house. Not to mention the weird hole thing going on with his and Tsukasa’s face.

[misc-obeyme]

Just leaving this here out of context. He’s been on my mind but my writing is all over the place lately.