#it counts as research right?? 😅
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uhbasicallyjustmilex · 1 year ago
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jenny-in-a-jar · 5 months ago
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đŸ–€đŸ’™ 4 days until my Surgery đŸ’™đŸ–€
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(Picture taken Dec 9th, 2023)
I'm very very excited for my surgery (it's my second gender affirming surgery but this one is more significant to me since it'll be top and bottom surgery) and I'm obviously counting the days until it and I thought some people might be interested in my trans journey đŸłïžâ€âš§ïž So see part 7 below the cut.
Part 1 here
As the summer was ending, I got really lucky! A lesbian hairstylist (who helped organize the drag show I went in the last update) gave my name to this sales lady who sold accounting work to like companies and she needed help with researching CEO and CFO types. And she paid me out of pocket and honestly it was pretty easy internet research using Google. I felt like a little rat scurrying across the Internet 🐀 So, thank you lesbians 🙏🙏
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(Picture taken Nov 6th, 2022)
Apparently I really impressed her so she got me hired full time as a sales admin for her company (I wouldn't have gotten with my lack of a college degree without her) and I've had that job since! And a lot of my transition wouldn't be possible without the pay and benefits of this job. Also this is my first job where I get gendered correctly and I'm slowly getting less anxious about going to the bathroom at work đŸ„°
She honestly mom'd up on me and bought me a bunch of new business casual clothes for the job. And here's an example of one of my new work outfits 😁
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(Picture taken Nov 14, 2022)
Bc of the new job I was able to afford a lot more things for transitioning! Like voice training. I remember when I first cracked I tried to just teach myself using videos but I wasn't good at it 😅 Also a friend during the summer of 2022 helped me and I did make some progress with her help. But, I started making a lot more progress once I started seeing a speech therapist. But, there was a barrier since I could tell she hadn't worked too much with trans people. I went to a speech therapist bc it was covered by my insurance but she moved and then I couldn't find anyone for insurance covered speech therapy. So, I eventually just paid for lessons Your Lessons Now. And, honestly it's going a lot better! It's really nice to be able to talk about my frustrations with voice training with another transfem. The biggest thing I'm learning from here is how to break the bad habit of pitching up my voice by squeezing my vocal chords.
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(Picture taken Sept 8th, 2023)
I had also switched to injections and I highly recommend it! A friend even made my first two vials into earrings đŸ”„
I also got a lot lazier with makeup 😅 I do eyeliner wings, mascara, and blush for when I go into the office. Which for a bunch of accountants means I do about as much makeup that is normal for the women in the office đŸ€·â€â™€ïž
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(Pictures taken October 31st and December 2nd of 2022)
These were two notable exceptions. I really love the makeup I did for the Halloween of 2022 bc I decided to go as a ghost-type trainer. And the one on the right is when I learned how to use concealer to cover my 'raccoon eyes' as my dad liked to call them 🩝
Also this would be a good time to mention something I probably should've mentioned earlier 😅 I never learned how to use foundation. I know it's easy but I have a weird mental block around it đŸ€·â€â™€ïž But, in the summer of 2021 I started doing twice daily skincare routine for my face. Which took me from a very acne heavy face to people being surprised I'm not wearing foundation. Also the routine is really nice. Would recommend to those who want to get rid of their acne (send an ask if you want to know specifics).
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(Picture taken Aug 20, 2023)
Romance update since I've been doing that lol: Well, things ended with all the girlfriends I had so I am down to 1 partner. And I got caught in a romance scam for a few months 😭 However, I can't really complain because I got engaged!!! It was so sweet in cute. My partner and I had this date the night before Valentine's Day under a statue outside of a local art museum. We read sapphic poetry by candle light and then they popped the question đŸ„°đŸ„°
But, I say another big part of this era was I made a lot more local trans friends. Went to a good amount of house parties which would've surprised pre-transition me! And I really love my community of queer people I've been building đŸ„șđŸłïžâ€đŸŒˆđŸłïžâ€âš§ïžđŸ’•
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(Picture taken July 21st, 2023)
Oh yeah!! I also started laser hair removal at the beginning of 2021 as well. Which was before this era but time is a lie. But the new job definitely made it easier to afford.
The biggest step for my transition was getting my surgeries set up!! And my FFS (facial feminization surgery) marks the end of this era. Below was the last picture I took before my FFS.
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(Picture taken Feb 17th, 2024)
So, in my next update, I'll be showing my post-op pictures once most of the swelling went down. See you tomorrow!! đŸ˜âœŒïž
Next Part Here
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asdfghjklmals · 1 year ago
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BABY MOONâœ©àŒ¶â€§Ëš
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GENRE + T/W: sfw, fluff. body insecurities. suggestive comments. WORD COUNT: 4.4k words. TAGS: satoru gojo x fem!oc, dadtobe!gojo, pregnant!oc, lovesick!gojo, established couple.
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SYNOPSIS: oc gojo girlfriend's brother surprises her and satoru with a trip to mexico so they can spend time together before baby gojo arrives. (this fic happens in the middle of ‘milestones’, click to read here) AUTHOR'S NOTE: i did some research on puerto vallarta and i'm on my reggaeton kick lately lol did y’all catch the bleach inspiration about the sun? *cries* i love isshin and masaki. ugh. i'm obsessed with how in love oc gojo girlfriend and satoru are in this fic. REMINDER: if you want to imagine yourself in oc gojo girlfriend's character descriptions instead, please do!
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“so what exactly does a couple even do on a baby moon?” satoru asked as he buttoned his dress shirt in the mirror, leaving four unbuttoned to expose his toned chest.
he wore a champagne silk button up with sleeves cuffed halfway up his forearm. tan cargo shorts decorated his long legs. his frosty white hair brushing the tip of his eyelashes, bright blue eyes dressed with gold sunglasses. he had just finished unpacking your luggage.
you laid on your side in the large hotel villa bed, tired from the long flight from japan to mexico. your flowy white maxi sundress splayed out on the linen sheets. your hair was put up in a bun. a bright yellow flower tucked behind your ear, given to you by the villa concierge upon checking in.
“according to google, couples go on baby moons to spend quality time together before the baby arrives.” you explained, “—once baby gojo arrives, all my attention will probably be on them.”
satoru turned to face you and frowned, “not even a little attention for good ol' satoru gojo?” he leaned onto the bed, hovering over you, encasing you between his strong arms.
you looked at him and caressed his cheek with the palm of your hand, “nope. you did this to yourself when you got me pregnant, sweetheart.” you sneered at him, knowing it wasn’t entirely his fault.
“i’m jealous.” he said while frowning, “—you hear that, baby gojo? you’re stealing all my lovin’.” he leaned down to loudly say to your stomach, his cheek pressed right against your 7 month pregnant belly. you laughed as you felt baby gojo shift away in your womb in reply to satoru’s comment.
“it was nice of your brother to pay for this vacation for us.” satoru mentioned as he laid beside you. his head was aligned right next to your belly. he liked to think that baby gojo enjoyed listening to him talk to you, so he always laid his head next to your belly in hopes that his unborn child could recognize his voice.
your brother, touya, had surprised you and satoru with an all-expenses-paid trip to puerto vallarta, mexico. touya said it would be a ‘nice, romantic’ getaway for the two of you. however, your vacation got off to a rough start as you experienced nausea throughout the flight. it was a 15 hour flight to get here, and you did not bring enough sour candy or gingersnaps to last for the entire flight. you spent a majority of the flight trying to sleep instead.
“i’ll have to thank him again. should we send him a picture?” you suggested. satoru pulled out his phone and snapped a very unflattering picture of you to send to your brother.
“done.” he reported.
“—i meant a decent looking picture of the both of us.” you glared at him. he ignored you and continued to send his text message to touya. throughout the years that you and satoru have been together, satoru gained a brother figure in touya. being an only child was lonely for satoru, so he made an effort to have a close bond with touya.
[6:17pm] satoru gojo sent an image
[6:17pm] satoru: your sister is having a great time lol she was sick during the entire flight so we're resting before dinner 😅
[6:18pm] touya (l/n) laughed at an image
[6:18pm] touya: glad to see she’s having fun 🙄 lol
[6:19pm] satoru: thanks again for the vacation bro. đŸ‘ŠđŸŒ (y/n) really needed that.
[6:19pm] touya: anytime. have fun and be safe. i guess it’s too late for me to tell you two to use protection 😂
[6:20pm] satoru gojo laughed at a message
and satoru was definitely not going to tell you about that text.
“should we go through the ‘what to expect’ app before dinner?” he suggested. it was his favorite thing to do with you since you got pregnant. he wanted to know everything about your pregnancy and how baby gojo was developing. you appreciated how involved satoru was throughout your entire pregnancy. you couldn't ask for a better partner or a better father for baby gojo.
you pat your hand around the bed to find your phone, opening up the app to read out loud, “at 27 weeks, baby gojo is the size of a head of lettuce, is about two pounds and more than a foot long. this is the end of the second trimester.”
your doctor had told you not to travel internationally past 28 weeks, so you and satoru planned this baby moon right before the start of your third trimester.
“your voice is music to baby gojo’s ears.” you continued reading.
satoru grumbled, “—same for me. except when you’re yelling at me.”
you glared at satoru as he smirked at you innocently. ignoring him, you continued to read, “don’t be surprised if you feel little jumps in your belly, your little one might have the case of hiccups.” your heart melted at the thought, “—that is so cute.”
satoru took your phone from you and read the recap for week 27, “at a glance, your baby can hear you, baby has hiccups, and they will be developing muscle tone from being active.”
“baby gojo is a little gymnast in there.” you said to satoru. you wondered if your baby got their habit of being unable to sit still from their father. baby gojo was always active at night too. whenever the students wanted to feel baby gojo kick during the day, they were always sleeping.
“your baby may recognize both you and your partner’s voices by now. so this may be a good time to read or sing to your baby—or tummy.” satoru looked at you with excitement, “—i told you baby gojo recognizes my voice. should i start singing to them too?”
you laughed, “since you’re not that bad of a singer
 go ahead. sing me a song, mr. gojo.”
one of your favorite memories with satoru throughout all your years of knowing the insufferable man was the day you went on your very first mission with him. you weren't even dating at the time, but the memory meant so much to you. you shared your earphones with him during the subway ride to chiba and showed him all your favorite old school songs that you and your late father loved. (read 'sleeping with the enemy' here)
“i’ve got sunshineeee, on a cloudy day. when it’s cold outsiiiiide, i’ve got the month of may. i’d. guess. you’d. say. what. can. make. me. feel. this. way. my giiiirl. talkin’ ‘bout my girl.” (a/n: click here to listen to the exact line and song satoru's singing if you don't know it, i time stamped it for you!)
you laughed and smiled in adoration at the man who just serenaded you and your pregnant belly. of course he’d choose the temptations for this occasion. baby gojo started kicking.
you leaned over to ask your belly, “did you like daddy’s singing?”
“did they kick?” satoru asked as he leaned forward to talk to your belly, “kick once for no, kick twice for yes.”
after waiting for a moment, you felt one kick, “sorry, you have a tough crowd, babe. it was one kick.” you reported back to the eager satoru.
“back to the app,” he said, ignoring you, offended that his baby didn’t appreciate his singing, “it says nearly 3 in 4 women experience swelling of the hands, feet, and ankles. so avoid sitting and standing for long periods. go on walks or try swimming.”
“we can try out the pool tomorrow.” you said. satoru’s attention still on the app.
“it says you should eat lots of salmon. it’s supposedly good for you and the baby.” satoru reported.
you started laughing, “okay, toge inumaki. let’s go get some dinner.”
the next day
“babe?” you called out to satoru, “can you help me tie my swimsuit?”
you frowned as you looked at yourself in the mirror. your body was unrecognizable to you. you couldn’t fit into any of your clothes. you didn’t feel like yourself as your body started to grow, and you were only going to get bigger and bigger thanks to your still growing baby inside of you.
satoru waltzed into the bathroom smelling like sunscreen. he was already in his tropical floral swimming shorts, shirtless, with a towel draped over his shoulder. why did he have to look like a chiseled greek god next to you? you felt like humpty dumpty next to him. he walked behind you to grab the loose bikini strings from your fingers, tying a secure knot for you. he snickered to himself because he wouldn’t care if they came undone, but he knew you would.
you turned away from him.
“what’s wrong, sweetheart? you’re usually the first one in the pool.” satoru asked as he followed your gaze in the mirror. he saw that you were examining yourself.
“i—just don’t really feel confident in my body right now...” you admitted in a quiet voice. the statement shattered his heart.
“you’re kidding me.” satoru scoffed, “—babe, you’re literally growing our perfect baby inside of you. you are the most beautiful thing i’ve ever laid my six eyes on.”
“maybe it’s the bikini. i should’ve opted for a one piece now that i’m pregnant.” you frowned as you looked down to run your fingers along the ruffles of your white two-piece swimsuit, your belly hanging out in the open in all its glory.
satoru made a face, “i hope baby gojo kicks you for saying that.”
and to your surprise, you felt an extra strong kick. it was like baby gojo heard him. satoru and your baby were ganging up on you already and baby gojo wasn’t even born yet.
satoru hugged you from behind. his strong arms making you feel safe. he always knew what to say to make you feel better again. he kissed your temple as you sighed.
“come on, let’s go for a swim.” he grabbed your hand to lead you to the pool right outside the private villa. he placed a pair of his black circular sunglasses on your face. he smeared sunscreen on your cheeks and traced a sunscreen shaped heart on your belly before helping you rub it in. a sloppy application from satoru, but you appreciated the sweet gesture. you massaged sunscreen on your arms as satoru helped you apply to your legs.
satoru watched you like a hawk as you stepped into the pool, afraid of you slipping while pregnant. you slowly walked deeper into the pool, the cool water rose to cover your belly and chest. after making sure you were okay, satoru ran to the opposite side of the pool and cannon-balled in, splashing water all over you. you giggled as you watched the white haired sorcerer swim towards you in the beautiful, clear water.
satoru popped out of the glistening water as if he was the little mermaid, throwing his snow-white hair back, shaking his head side to side so the water would fling off. he swam towards you. you reached for his shoulders as he pulled you closer, positioning your legs around his waist so he could take you further into the deep end. you wrapped your arms loosely around his broad shoulders as he held you by your thighs.
“you feeling better?” he asked as he booped your adorable button nose.
“a little—” you said as you wrinkled your nose. you traced your soft fingers along satoru's chest before asking him a question you were nervous to ask. “satoru—will you still love me if i don’t go back to how i looked like before i got pregnant?”
stunned at your ridiculous question, satoru asked, “what kind of question is that? of course i’ll still love you, babe. i’d even love you if you were still pregnant with the raging pregnancy hormones forever.”
you splashed water onto him, glaring through his sunglasses that were resting on your cheek and nose bridge, “you’re only saying that because my libido is higher than usual.”
“i'm just saying... a man will never complain about that.” satoru chuckled as he sarcastically spoke for all the men in the world.
“—then would you still love me if i was a worm?”
“that’s pushing it.” satoru bantered back. you splashed him with water again before resting your head on his chest. he floated with you in his arms for a moment, soaking up the sunshine. you felt butterflies fluttering in your stomach along with your growing baby twisting and turning inside of you. your heart taking in the pure bliss you were experiencing just by being here in satoru’s arms. you wondered how satoru felt right now.
after spending about an hour wading in the pool with satoru, you looked over to see two hotel employees bringing out a tray of food.
“pardon our interruption señor gojo and señorita (l/n), we brought a late breakfast for you two to enjoy. this was requested from señor (l/n) early this morning.”
“gracias!” you thanked the hotel employee with the most basic spanish you learned while sitting on the 15 hour plane ride. satoru laughed at your enthusiasm. he admired how you always wanted to be courteous to others.
“are you and baby gojo hungry?” he asked as he started swimming towards the shallow end again. you nodded as you clung to him, planting a sweet kiss on the crook of his neck and shoulder. satoru got out of the pool first so he could help you out. he grabbed the towels sitting on the cabana chairs to dry you both off, wrapping the towel around your waist.
“wow, the food looks amazing.” you sat down and drooled over the spread that your brother ordered for you and satoru. your mouth watered. there was a selection of huevos rancheros, tamales, fried plantains, fresh local fruit, chorizo hash, eggs, bread and two large pitchers of orange juice and water.
satoru sipped his orange juice and watched your face light up as you sampled all the delicious food in front of you. a happy glow in your face that made him fall in love with you all over again. it reminded him of the first time you went to get ice cream together, the way your face lit up and you did your happy dance in your chair after tasting the sweet chocolate ice cream. you reached over to feed him a bite of the fried plantains. satoru hummed in approval.
you were like the sun to satoru. his whole world revolved around you, and you attracted anyone and anything that entered your orbit. it was probably why all the students and faculty loved you at jujutsu high. even strangers felt comfortable around you.
you made satoru’s world brighter. before you met him, he felt as if clouds shrouded his life at all times, unclear of what he wanted to do with his life. you pulled him out of that cloudiness and lit up every second of the day as soon as you came into his life (or ever since he broke into yours). you were the color in satoru’s world of black and white. you inspired him to be better, and he wanted to be a good man, just for you.
he was making it his mission to be the sun in your life, just like you were in his. it broke his heart knowing that you were starting to feel insecure in your ever-changing and growing body. and it made him even more sad knowing that you were questioning his love for you during this temporary change.
however, little did satoru know, he already was the sun in your life. he has been ever since you started dating, and you would be forever grateful to the 17 year old boy who broke your domain over a decade ago. without satoru’s love, you don’t know where you’d be right now. satoru's unconditional love was something you never thought you'd experience in this lifetime. (read ‘fated to love you’ here)
later that night
you and satoru held hands while walking the streets of zona romĂĄntica, one of the liveliest streets of puerto vallarta. your spirit birds flying overhead with you and satoru. every turn you and satoru took gave you a beautiful view of the mexican riviera. a mariachi band played in the cobblestone streets, and white-stucco buildings were decorated with bright orange, yellow, and red flowers.
"this city is so charming." you said, green eyes shining. you admired the architecture and all the bright colors in the streets as satoru led the way.
"what do you want to eat for dinner?" he asked while looking at a tourist brochure.
"i refuse to eat salmon again for dinner, so anything but that."
satoru looked down at you, azure blue eyes peeking through his sunglasses, "i read that there's a good tapas restaurant about a 20 minute walk from here. do you think you can walk that far?"
you laughed at his question, "satoru, i can still walk believe it or not."
he squeezed your hand as if he was saying 'okay, okay, you got me there'. you took the lead and guided him towards the malecĂłn boardwalk. when you saw the sunset, you let go of satoru's hand, walking faster towards the view. the sunset was a mix of pink, purple, yellow, and orange. it was like a watercolor painting appearing in your eyes. the warm hues kissed the blues and greens of the ocean horizon.
while you admired the beautiful sunset, satoru admired the beautiful you. he snapped a couple pictures of you with his phone, afraid to forget the memory of how stunning you looked at this moment in time.
you were wearing a strapless white sundress, similar to the one you wore yesterday. your swimsuit lines from this morning showed off your golden tan you received while being here in mexico. the dress hugged your belly, but was loose enough to be comfortable for you to move around in without feeling restricted.
intricate blue flowers were sewn on the bottom fringe of your dress and a high leg slit showed off your pretty tan legs. your dress was paired with brown and white sandals that were comfortable enough for your swollen feet.
your long black hair was curled, flowing in the wind as you skipped lightly around the boardwalk. a large blue flower that matched satoru’s eyes was tucked behind your ear. it was almost sickening how much love he felt for you at this very moment.
"careful, sweetheart." satoru called out you as he put his phone back into his pocket, worried about you skipping around. he knew you’d complain about pelvic pain later tonight because of it. he shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets, following you wherever your heart desired.
you turned around and gave him your world-class million dollar smile that always gave him butterflies even after all this time, "so, where's this restaurant?" (read ‘butterflies’ here)
after dinner
"satoru, look! everyone’s dancing!" you pointed as you and satoru walked out of the restaurant after a delicious dinner.
there was a large crowd on the boardwalk, dancing to reggaeton music that the local dj was playing. everyone was dancing, singing, and shouting the lyrics to the songs. they were having the time of their lives and you wanted to be a part of it too.
"do you want to spend some time out here before we head back to the villa?" satoru asked, noticing how entranced you were. you nodded excitedly.
you and satoru found a small table at a bar close by. you both ordered non-alcoholic drinks for clear reasons. satoru didn't like to drink alcohol and you were pregnant.
you sipped your virgin midori sour. the melon juice, tangy lime, lemon and club soda felt refreshing. your foot tapped on the wooden boardwalk to the melodic beat of the music playing.
"babe, do you want to go dance
?" you asked timidly.
satoru looked at you, surprised, "you want to dance? i never thought you'd asked." he laughed. he was usually the one that would have to drag you out to the dance floor.
satoru downed the rest of his way-too-sweet virgin strawberry daquiri and grabbed your hand to lead you to where the rest of the crowd was dancing. (satoru forced his infinity outward to make sure no one accidentally bumped into your belly, but you didn't have to know that.)
you swayed with the music, your hair bouncing as you bobbed your head to the beat. you spun around, dancing to your heart’s desire. your heart skipped a beat when you felt satoru's hands on your hips, pulling you closer to him. he followed all of your movements as you danced around him. you turned to face him.
"satoru," you draped your arms around his broad shoulders, "i think people are staring at us."
"really? i didn't notice." satoru grinned, his attention was only on you tonight. he didn't even notice that you and him were the center of attention on tonight's dance floor. he couldn't care less. the only thing he cared about was you.
the dim street lights and twinkle lights hanging along the boardwalk emitted a soft glow on your rosy cheeks and emerald green eyes. satoru's heart raced at the view. how could one person be so perfect and so beautiful? he felt like he hit the jackpot to be able to call you his. he didn’t think he would ever be this lucky in another life.
he grabbed your hand to twirl you around, pulling you close for a moment, your back resting against his chest again. he kissed your bare shoulder just to spin you around for a second time. your sweet laughter filled his ears, his favorite sound in the world.
once everyone started to slowly leave the boardwalk, you both decided to call it a night. the moon reflected brightly on the mexican sands and dark blue ocean waters, guiding you back to the villa. and in that very moonlight, you shone brightly like a lighthouse beacon. it was something about the way you looked tonight that took satoru’s breath away. that damn pregnancy glow looked a thousand times more radiant in his six eyes and he couldn’t get enough of it.
*************************
after a relaxing shower to wash away the sweat from dancing, you and satoru laid in bed together, winding down for the night.
“did you know that if you press your ear against my belly, you might be able to hear baby gojo’s heartbeat?” you asked satoru as he put his phone down and turned to face you in bed.
"really?" satoru asked in amusement, "let me try it."
he leaned over towards you, resting his head gently on your belly.
"move your head over here," you guided his head to where baby gojo was in your womb.
the room fell silent. all you could hear was the ocean crashing against the rocks outside the hotel villa, the cool breeze entering the room, satoru's breathing and your own racing heartbeat. it was an intimate moment between the two of you.
satoru gasped, "i can hear it." he smiled brightly as he looked up at you. you smiled back at him, running your fingers through his soft white hair as he planted kisses on your bare belly.
"i wonder if you can sense any cursed energy from the baby." you asked him.
"i've been trying to ever since you got pregnant. i can't sense anything but yours." satoru said, "maybe our baby will be lucky and won't have any..." he trailed off.
"for some reason, i highly doubt that." you frowned. it would be a blessing if your baby didn't have to deal with curses, but coming from your clan and the gojo clan, it was more than likely your baby would be born with an innate cursed technique. plus, you felt something off about your cursed energy since you became pregnant. it was like someone else’s cursed energy was always there with you, and it wasn't satoru's residuals either.
"whether or not baby gojo has cursed energy, it wouldn't make me love them any less." satoru said quietly.
you chuckled at his ridiculous statement. "of course. this is our baby we're talking about. you better love them."
"—and just because your body is changing to grow our baby, my thoughts about how beautiful you are and how much i love you will never change." satoru added as-a-matter-of-factly.
“satoru
 you’re embarrassing me.” you whined, hiding your blushing face in between the pillows. satoru took your fluffy shield away from you.
“don’t hide your beautiful face from me, woman!” he scolded you playfully. you intertwined your fingers with his as he leaned in for a kiss. he pulled you closer to him as you rested your head on his chest. you listened to his heartbeat, it was one of the most comforting sounds to fall asleep to.
“i love you, satoru.” you hummed.
satoru kissed each of your fingers, “i know.” he said confidently as you stared back up at him, waiting for him to say it back. “—i love you too, (y/n).”
“that’s what i thought.” you mumbled. “can you believe this is probably our last vacation as just us two? we’ll probably be too busy getting ready for baby gojo’s arrival to spend quality time together like this when we get home.” you said to him as you placed your hand against his. you were comparing the size of his hand to yours in the air.
he stroked your back gently with his unoccupied hand. he thought to himself for a moment. a playful grin spreading across his face, “guess we’ll just have to make the most of this baby moon then, huh?”
“—and just what do you mean by that?” you peered up at him.
satoru just smiled at you before he assaulted your neck and shoulder with a plethora of kisses. you squealed with laughter, pushing him away, trying to escape from his grasp.
“satoru, stop! that tickles!” you continued to laugh as he gently pulled you back to him with blue. he trailed kisses from your chest, up your neck onto your jawline, across your cheek to your nose, up your nose bridge to your forehead, and lastly, back down to your lips.
“for now, i don’t want to share.” he whispered in your ear.
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ready to meet baby gojo? read the next chapter, 'hello baby' here.
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© 2023 ASDFGHJKLMALS — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, TRANSLATE, OR REPOST MY WORK.
DIVIDERS PROVIDED BY @/ANLIAN-AISHANG
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elsa-fogen · 4 months ago
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hi ! i have a question, i was wondering something when it comes to your 'breakfast au'. ive read through a lot of this, and ive seen you and multiple other people state velvette "deserves" this? that just confused me in general, because out of all the people in the show, velvette probably has done the least amount of bad things. so how would she deserve this? i saw a few people saying its because of the love potion thing she collaborated with valentino on, but i dont really think thats a valid point. given it states in the wiki that its unconfirmed what that actually was. (ill send an image of where it says this.) it couldve been anything. and given velvettes line of work, (fashion, social media) id assume itd be some sort of perfume made to be taken orally. like perhaps a pheromone perfume which ive seen is commonly promoted by influencers, or just these types of people in general.
the next point i saw was somebody saying shes a narcissist? which, she really isnt. if you do any research on npd you could see that. velvette is shown to be confident, maybe even egotistical. she acts like a confident teenager would. she doesnt have npd.
ive seen people say she deserves this type of thing because shes friends with the vees..? which honestly would make no sense. so far in the show, shes shown to only really speak to vox. (which isnt bad, given vox hasnt exactly done anything big and bad like say alastor or valentino, or hell, even sir pentious' crimes.) everytime shes really talked about valentino, its been in a bad way. shes shown to not like him. so its not like those two are best friends or even anything more than business associates from what ive seen??
anywho, i was just a bit confused. i was also a bit confused on alastors behavior aswell. while yes, hes a horrible person, yes he eats people, YES he would do something like this; he has no reason to with velvette. he gains nothing from this. so whats the point of him doing it?? its not to spite vox, given alastor is shown in the show, not to give too fucks about vox 😭
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I personally said that she deserved it only to spite that hater, i should've clarify that 😅
Alastor gets to mess with Vox and to make HIM suffer from screams (Valentino comes as a bonus). He GIVEs fucks about Vox tho, maybe not as much as the said TV man, but still. He spills the tea about Vox asking him to join the Vees, and does so clearly to humiliate him. The way he tells about it implies that. so he WOULD spite Vox if he had a chance that wouldn't take too much effort.
but still, Velvette isn't innocent. she's in hell and it has to be for a reason. she joined the Vees which indicates that she supports their activities. Velvette had no problem with Val killing her models except that it causes troubles to her show.
about Vox, he's also fucked up. And maybe he isn't killing people left ang right, he does many bad things, like hypnotizing people, stalkering and so on. He supports Valentino's attitude too. He knows what Val does to Angel and doesn't give a fuck.
Problem here is that you only count things shown on screen. While characters have life outside of it. And for now we've seen only Val being a horrible person. Bonus points that he's being mean to the chracter we know and love. Other Vees didn't get the time to show their fuckedupness. I know for a fact that in season 2 we'll get at least Vox' fucked up side. and, hopefully, Velvette's too, and people will finally stop thinking that they're poor little meow meows that ended up under bad Valentino's influence.
Also, as i was saying in the first post about this AU - Velvette really shouldn't have said that the can eat other overlords for breakfast (au namedrop!!!) in front if 2 real cannibals. They took that personal.
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0bees-knees0 · 4 months ago
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(One sided! Satan x Gn!Mc/reader)
Also small A/N( I'll probably have another at the end lmao 😭) this MC is a reader and the whole little fic sort of pertains to that. You can still read this even if that's not your forte ofc, but I thought I would leave a note bc some ppl don't wanna read about an Mc that's nothing like them 😅. Also Mc in this fic does NOT crack the spine of their books.(This is relevant I promise) And personally I don't either but to each their own.
Where Satan casually walks into the library at RAD, and sees you the book that you're reading and he is just completely obsessed with the sight, forgetting all about his original reason for entering the library in the first place. It looks so interesting you look so interesting. He sits and watches your facial expressions to see what you think of it. You notice him after some time, how could you not I mean he's literally just staring at you, and when you do realize that he isn't spaced out or anything you decide to see what was up.
"...Satan?"
"...yes Mc?"
"i-is there a reason that your staring at me so aggressively? Did I do something to annoy you?"
What?! The look on his face in that moment was absolutely unreadable. He was so red. He had been caught staring at you for crying out loud! But he also looked kinda shocked or offended. How in the world could you possibly think you could do anything to annoy him?! (It definitely isnt like he has a serious case of rbf or anything!) He was appalled, though he tried his best to hide it.
"what?! I-i...um no. I was just... interested in the book you were reading. I didn't want to interrupt however so I just...kinda stood here."
Yes! That was it! That was most definitely why he was there, no particular fascinating human or anything, and he had to make sure you knew that this was his only reason. Nothing else! Goodness, when did you start becoming so important to him that he was out here stuttering up excuses, becoming all red and shy, just from being around you? He didn't know but what he did know was that his sorry excuse for an explanation did seem to take hold in your mind and that was all that mattered.
"oh the book! It's actually one of my favorites...I've probably read it more times than I can count! Do you wanna read it? I can lend it to you for a few days."
Wow. Your book. Your favorite book, so good that you've read it countless amounts of times, and you're going to lend it to him?? He was ecstatic.
"...yes that would be good. I want to know if it's actually worth reading as many times as you say it is."
Of course he couldn't tell you or show you how ecstatic he was, that would blow his cover. If it wasn't blown already thanks to the recent display of events.
Oh how he wished he could just tell you how he felt for you. Really, there was nothing stopping him, just himself and his thoughts, his fears. Maybe he might do something cheesy like write his opinion on the book, as well as an invitation to hang out together(if you could call this hanging out) again like a date like how you were now. Yes maybe, he'll even write his feelings to you right then and there on the paper, in his pretty handwriting it has to be pretty for you, and then fold it and put it in the back of the book.
"it really is that good, I think you'll really like it Satan, here just bring it back to me in like...three days? Is that enough time?"
He's so happy he might burst. So he just nods to keep his cool. He is going to learn so much about you, and you might talk to him even more than you already have just because of this book. you place the book in his hands that he is willing to stop shaking and tell him that you have somewhere to be.
Three days come and go. He read the entire book on the night you gave it to him, and did research on everything involving the book the next day. The book itself was pretty good, though he really wanted to know why it was your favorite. He thinks there is probably some reason in your mind that he can't read on a page that will help him understand, but in order to get that he'd have to actually ask you. He spends the last day trying to decide whether he should write the letter or not. He decided no, that if he really wants to go on a date hang out with you, then he should ask you in person. He didn't want you to think he was a coward.
He shows up at your door a few hours after school, book in hand. You open the door and happily invite him in. He hands you the book and immediately starts talking about it and telling you his opinion, in hopes that maybe you would talk to him about your thoughts as well. Normally you would have, so happy to have someone to discuss your favorite book with, except this time is different. Something is off and Satan can tell, though he doesn't know what.
"hey Satan?"
" yes Mc"
"can I ask you a question?"
A question? Of course, you can ask him anything! And he tells you as much.
"why did you break the spine of the book? It's my only copy and well...it's not that big of a deal I guess, and it does make it easier to read I suppose..."
You keep talking, trying to justify his actions but all he can think about is what you just said. He can't believe it! He always breaks the spines in all of his books before he reads them. He didn't think of anything different, doing the same to yours. He was trying so hard to be considerate and careful with the book, even keeping the bookmark you left in there in its place, careful not to dog ear any pages(another bad habit of his).
He's so upset with himself. You're never going to let him borrow anything from you ever again. How long will you hate him for? He wasn't sure but he was ready to suffer in silence for his actions despite how upset it will leave him, and he will probably never talk to any-
"Satan?" You call for him for the 5th time, trying to regain his attention.
"...h-how long are you going to hate me for?" He asks the question before he can think rationally about it. You seem to have that effect on him.
However, when you burst into laughter he is confused.
"hate you? Satan it's just a book!" You say through your laughing spells.
"but it's your favorite..."
"I can just get another one, in fact I was thinking of going to the bookstore anyways."
"then let me come with you and pay for it! As an apology for ruining your first one." You smile and nod and he swears his stomach could qualify for the Olympics the way it's flipping and turning. You tell him to meet you outside of the HoL in 30 minutes and he gets there 10 minutes early (not that he'd ever tell you that) and when you meet him you smile and wave. He tries so hard not to look behind him to see who you're waving at, not fully trusting that it's him.
"You know, I've never really been to this bookstore before, so you'll have to show me around." You say to him as you both walk in the bookstore in front of you. As it turned out for Satan, he didn't even have to ask you on a date to hang out again, because here you are now. One of his favorite places, getting to talk about one of his favorite things, with one of his favorite people. He had to try so hard to keep his cool.
You both ended up getting a few books, and obviously when you got to the checkout you weren't allowed to pay a grim. Although you didn't mind paying, you also didn't protest(free books am I right?) and as you're walking back you guys talk about the books you got. When you find yourself at the door to your room that Satan had walked you back to(like the true gentleman he is) you say your goodbyes.
"this was super fun Satan. I really appreciate it! We really should hang out more, I like the way you think about things, and I also like your taste in books."
And he thinks that if he were killed right then, he would be okay with that. You tell him that there is a movie to the book you let him borrow, and ask him if he would want to watch it with you one day. And once again he is reeling.
"Uh...yeah I mean, I guess I could possibly find the time for that. I'll need you to tell me when though so I can check my schedule" he absolutely has nothing to do and if he does he will reschedule it for as long as he needs to if it means another date hanging out with you again. He says his goodbyes and heads back to his room.
He thinks to himself that he would love to read another one of the books that you like or continue the discussion from the last time.
As long as he doesn't break the spine again of course.
A/N: hey guys had this in the drafts for a good zillion years but I finally decided to get it done yay! I hope you enjoy even though it's one sided lmao. I didn't say earlier but this is set in like the first few weeks or so once mc gets to the devildom so they're not great friends with everyone yet. Also was thinking about making a pt.2 where Satan confesses but idk if anyone would be interested 😭 if I did it would probably be another eon or two before I publish it 😅😅😅 but please give me your thoughts, as this is one of the first really big things I've wrote on this acc. Anyway that's all I think thanks for reading!!
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shira-cosmic-star · 5 months ago
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Hello! Mind if I send in a request? I'm not sure how familiar you are with Sanrio, but how about some headcanons for the Hotarubi boys + Alan, Luca, and Kaito with a reader that's like Wish Me Mell.
In case you don't know, Mell is a bit shy, a bit clumsy, but she's very kind, and her heart is always in the right place. She enjoys collecting stamps and writing letters. Mell is considered a bit disorganized and a scatterbrain, but despite that, she has a kind and loving heart for everyone
Hotarubi boys + Alan, Luca, and Kaito with a reader that's like Wish Me Mell.
(So sorry this took me a while, I wanted to make sure I got the character’s personality fully. So I did more research, because I wasn’t confident in myself 😅. I do hope you enjoy this💙)
Warning: spoilers on episode 5 + super long writing
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Haku:
When Haku first met MC. He noticed a few things about them. They were a bit shy and clumsy. So clumsy that when they first met and got off the train. MC accidentally tripped over their own feet and slammed right into Haku. They apologized profusely, Haku chuckled. He found it cute and adoring. As he got to know MC. He found more of this cute personality of their’s
‱MC once came to Hotarubi to give him a document that had a mistake. When they got there, they have completely forgot why they were there. When they admitted that, Haku reminded them that they have told him about the documents. “Oh! Right, sorry hehe.” MC pulled out the documents and hand it over
‱After Haku looked it over and signed it. He handed it back to MC. When MC was leaving
they accidentally tripped over nothing and fell. They were okay, but it worried Haku a bit.
‱Haku always told MC to be careful. But he would also teasingly say. “Falling for me again?” Which caused MC to blush madly
‱When MC comes over to relax and have some tea with Haku. They have gotten on a subject about working too hard and all. MC complimented him and told him that if he ever needed help. He could count on MC. This warmed Haku’s heart. He placed a hand on their head and thanked them.
‱One time MC misplaced their phone somewhere and looked everywhere. Haku was walking in the halls and saw them on the floor in a classroom. He decided to help them. Only to find out that their phone was in their bag this entire time. MC felt embarrassed.
‱Haku chuckles every time he’s around them. It’s never a dull moment with them.
Subaru:
MC was walking down the empty hall. When they almost accidentally ran into someone. “Oh! I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going.” MC stated while apologizing again. Subaru told them that it was okay. When they were going their separate ways. MC accidentally ran into a wall. While blushing madly, they laughed and speed down the hallway.
‱Ever since that day, they have bumped into each frequently. Not actually run into each pre-say. Just seen each other on the opposite sides.
‱They would smile and say hello to one another.
‱Once MC started to work with Hotarubi. They felt relaxed that Haku and Subaru was in this dorm. Especially after what happened with the last dorm..
‱Subaru would often invite MC for tea. Once MC held their cup and accidentally let it slipped. The tea was dumped all over their lap. They were embarrassed and apologized. Subaru didn’t mind the mess and asked them if they were okay.
‱MC asked Subaru to meet them for lunch. They wanted to ask him something but completely forgot what to was. But Subaru sat next to her and enjoyed lunch with them anyways. After lunch MC then remembered and texted him. It was about tea.
‱Subaru feels at easy when around MC. Didn’t have to force himself to be perfect. Though he’s still anxious, he feels that, he can make mistakes and that MC wouldn’t get mad or disappointed.
‱Though let’s be honest, if MC freaks out during a case or missing something in their daily lives. This would make Subaru more anxious. So if MC’s calm, he’s calm. Haku has to help both of them
‱Subaru also thinks that MC would be able to help his friend Lyca. Lyca has been through a lot and so maybe he’ll learn how to trust MC and maybe others.
‱He uses this to learn more about MC. And MC uses them opportunity to know both of them
Zenji:
Zenji accidentally scared MC when they have first met. He wrote a note to warn them, but when they have woken up. He didn’t finish writing it. So it came off creepy and scary for them. But when MC was finally able to see and hear him. He was extremely excited. He would often speak to them with a lot of energy.
‱”My sweet beautiful doll! I’m so glad you can see me!” The nickname he have given MC, made MC blushed. They smiled back and said, “it’s so nice to meet you” they spoke in a shy soft voice
‱”Your voice is like a soft melody my dear.” This made have caused MC’s heart to race
‱Zenji would often compliment them every time he sees them. They would smile and talked to him or listen to his music.
‱MC actually likes the passion Zenji has when he composes his music or tells stories
‱When MC accidentally hurt themselves, Zenji would freak out a little bit. A worrywart like him would rush to their side and ask them if they are okay
‱After finding out what had happened to Zenji, MC wept for him. Such cruel fate for their dear friend. When Zenji saw tears swelled in their eyes. He soothes them. Telling them not to worry and that he is okay and still here. If MC ever needed to talk. They can come to him.
‱Zenji adores MC even more after seeing MC cries for him. Not in a sadistic way, but as a, “they care about me” way. He deeply cherishes that. He cherishes them
Luca:
Luca, became more and more protective of MC when he started to spend more time with them. Noticing how clumsy and disorganized they were. Once they dropped their pencil on the floor. Bent down to pick it, came back up and hit their head.
‱When walking to the cafeteria, MC tripped over their own footing and Luca caught them. MC thanked him
‱MC accidentally forgot their notebook in class, they were freaking out when they couldn’t find it. Luckily Luca had it and gave it back to them. They were relieved. After they have dumped their entire bag on the table
‱Luca would keep an eye on them when he’s around. Making sure they don’t accidentally hurt themselves or run into anything. He would grab their hand gentle to pull them aside, away from the wall, person, or any object they weren’t looking because they were daydreaming.
‱He had continued to hold their hand until they have reached their destination. Kaito wasn’t happy
‱Luca noticed how kind MC was. Especially when MC would calm Kaito down from his melt downs or panics.
‱When Luca had gotten into a confrontation with Shu and Leo. It was MC that calmed him down a bit. MC had grabbed one of his hands and rubbed their thumb on the top of his hand. He looked over to MC and noticed a worry look. MC asked him if he was okay. He nodded and took a deep breathe. Though it didn’t last, it definitely helped
Kaito:
When Kaito first spoke to MC. He cried over how sweet they were. Calling them an angel that came to save him. This made MC blushed, shortly after they first time they’ve met. Kaito would fall for her more and more. How? This is how
‱MC saw Kaito outside the cathedral. There were stairs and Mc almost fell down it. Kaito helped them by grabbing their hand to support them as the walked down.
‱It scared Kaito at first, but he felt like a try gentleman or a knight!
‱When in need of rescue, always count on Kaito! He definitely didn’t tell MC that out loud. He did
‱There were times where MC showed their appreciation to Luca and Kaito. They would often by sweets or any snacks they knew where their favorites. Kaito would either cry or blush with excitement.
‱He falls for them more and more until he hit the core of the earth.
‱He would often try to impress MC. Which may or may not caused him to accidentally make a fool of himself. Even though that happens, MC would often encourage him to look on the bright side or encouraged him to keep trying.
‱And so he does, so hopefully one day. They would be a couple.
Alan:
MC was extremely nervous about working with Vagastrom. Especially after the whole Sho vs Luca fight. It didn’t help how mean Leo was to them. Alan did however make things a little easier. Then Sho did, but never Leo. So when MC came over. They felt comfortable when Sho and/Alan was there.
‱When on the case, Alan made sure to tell them not to enhance his stigma. He was terrified of hurting them. He would put enough space between them.
‱While on top of the cliff, MC fell and Alan quickly saved them. He asked them if they were okay. They thanked him over and over again. He wasn’t used to being thanked.
‱It warmed his heart, but went back to focus on the case.
‱MC told him that they were clumsy and often accidentally hurt themselves so. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary.
‱This caused Alan to make sure to keep an eye on them. Incase they accidentally get hurt again. He doesn’t mind it though. MC however felt like they were hold everyone back.
‱Alan in his own words reassures them that they are doing plenty to help.
‱When MC waited outside with Sho. Alan couldn’t stop thinking about their safety. It made him incredibly uncomfortable. Anxious really. When MC screamed and then Sho. He rushed to saved them.
‱After he saves them, MC was grateful and smiled gently as they take his hand.
‱A sweet gentle smile, from a shy and kind person. Even though they went through a hellish situation. They were still able to smile. That is called strength. He liked that and told them that. In his own words
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This was a lot, sorry that it was so long. Tell me what you think. What’s your favorite one, what you didn’t like or maybe something I can improve on? Was it romantic enough or not enough. Im curious to hear your guys thoughts! Have a great day! 💙
(Edited)
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cheapshrimpysheep · 11 months ago
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Hello! I saw ur request is opening so hope u don’t mind this^^
So! I’ve been thinking of the trope “he falls inlove to late” with the demon bros (OG! Timeline) a whole lot lately because it’s just that fitting for all of them and sometimes the heartache is just too good
And that’s it! I’m excited for what you could come up with.
Thank you <3
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COMMENTS: Hi. There are a lot of tropes that I don't know well, so I did a little research with Bard's help first. 😅 I couldn't see this happening easily because some characters would confess immediately (Asmo). So I used a cursed book where they enter and forget that they had already confessed.
I enjoyed writing this, I thought the idea was interesting. I hope you and everyone likes it too. 📖🚂
CHARACTERS: Demon Brothers (Lucifer; Mammon; Leviathan; Satan; Asmodeus; Beelzebub & Belphegor)
TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Declaration
WORD COUNT: An average of 430 words per character.
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CONTEXT: Diavolo asked you and one of the demon brothers if you could go get some books that had just arrived for the RAD library. Unfortunately, one of the books was cursed, and you two were transported inside.
Your memories didn't seem to have changed much. But in his case, he completely forgot all the love declarations he ever made to you. In his mind, he never declared himself to you. And, apparently, you were at the train station with Solomon, about to leave for the human world, never to return.
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You won't hear anything from him until the last second. He will be there, right in front of one of the train entrances. Waiting for you. Somehow. Probably not even the book itself knows how he arrived at the station so quickly.
He walks steadily towards you. “You're late.” Lucifer says “I need to talk to you before you go.”
“But like you said, we're late.” Solomon says “We need go on the train.”
“I spoke to the train driver. It won't take long if you stop interrupting me and let me talk to (Y/N) alone.” Lucifer emanated that aura that not even Diavolo himself would dare to contradict.
Solomon took a few steps back and let Lucifer take you to a more secluded corner.
“Since the chances of you returning to Devildom are slim, there is something extremely important that I need to tell you in person before you leave. And it's something simple and difficult to misunderstand.” He looks you in the eyes with the greatest confidence and certainty of all three worlds. “I love you. And I know that whatever you feel for me is strong too. I'm not the type to fall in love for someone who wouldn't see me in a similar light that I see them. I hope you realize how special and important you are to me to the point where I tell you this sentence looking you in the eyes. And I will reiterate it: I love you, (Y/N).”
“That's what I wanted to tell you.” Lucifer continues “Regardless of what you do with this information, I didn't want you to leave without it. And I trust you with it. Regardless of how you feel about me, I am not ashamed or regret loving someone like you. You deserved it.” he crosses his arms “Now you have two choices, accept it,say goodbye and get on the train, or tell me how you feel about me back.”
If you choose the second option, you realize that there are no words better than an action. And you kiss his lips. You will feel his hands on your waist. and his kiss is controlled, as if he were treating you, And like saying that if you want more, you should stay.
After that, the curse will be broken and you two will return to the real world.
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You didn’t receive messages from Mammon. And if you tried to send him one, he wouldn't receive it.
“Maybe his D.D.D. is dead?” Solomon suggested. “Don't worry. I'm sure he wouldn't ignore your messages on purpose.”
You two get on the train and sit in your seats. Calmly, the other passengers enter, sit down and eventually the train closes the doors and starts to move. Solomon offered to buy your favourite snack to try to cheer you up a little, and then you started to hear screams of fright and surprise throughout the train. You look around, the other passengers are looking out the windows. And then you heard a knock on your window.
Mammon was upside down, in his demon form, wanting to get in while the train was moving and moving faster and faster. He was using all the strength he had to not let go of the train. After also being startled by that sudden vision, Solomon used magic to transport Mammon inside the train.
Mammon lay down on the floor, exhausted from all the effort it took to get there. He could barely speak because his priority was breathing. “I couldn't... *breathe* ...message... *breathe* ...D.D.D... *breathe* ...dead...”
“Ha ha ha. I told you so.” Solomon says.
Mammon needs time to catch his breath, but as soon as he feels able, he gets on his knees in front of you. He still doesn't have that much strength to stand up. “Ya dummy! I needed to tell ya somethin’ very important before you left!”
You ask what he wanted to tell you and he blushes very hard, especially knowing that the other passengers are looking at the two of you. “HEY! Conversation is private! Go mind your own damn business!” Passengers move away slowly, returning to their seats with caution.
“You know, you might need to be quick.” Solomon tells him “It might not be long before someone kicks you off the train with all this commuting.”
“I...” Mammon hesitated and the train conductor began to be heard approaching quickly. “AH! NO!” The conductor arrives, grabs Mammon by the coat, pulls him to his feet, and pins his arms behind his back. “NO! WAIT!” he looks at you “I LOVE YOU! AND I'M SORRY I DIDN'T SAY IT SOONER! I LOVE YOU! PLEASE, DON'T LEAVE ME!”
This is your chance to kiss him before you part once and for all. And if you do, and kiss his lips, he will find enough strength to let go of the reviewer, to the point of pushing him back, and grabbing you with the greatest passion he feels for you.
After that, the curse will be broken and you two will return to the real world.
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You were being bombarded with messages from Levi. He wanted to know if you were already at the station, how long until the train left, if it was late, etc. There was something he wanted to tell you, but it couldn't be via text, it had to be in person. Which is surprising coming from Levi.
Unfortunately, there came a time when you couldn't wait any longer. The train was leaving and you couldn't miss it. You and Solomon entered. You sent a message to Levi to tell him that. He did not answer. When the train started to move and you still didn't see signs of him, you sent one last message saying that the train had already left.
Just a few minutes later, the train stopped abruptly, frightening all the passengers. Someone shouted something about a giant monster on the line. You start to hear noises of something above the train carriage, until it reach the door that leads outside. And then, the door is broken down and Levi enters.
He almost freezes in panic when he sees all those strangers, but as soon as he hears your voice calling his name, he forgets everything and everyone and runs to you.
“(Y/N)!” He hugs you “Please, don’t go!” only to realize in the next second what he just did and break the hug with a completely red face. “I-I-I... I needed to tell you, No, I had to tell you, before you go, this feelings cannot be let unspoken.”
“That you don't want me to leave?” you ask.
“No. I mean, that to, but...” You all hear and see the train conductor approaching to, probably, catch Levi and throw him out. “I-I LOVE YOU!” Levi says like someone ripping off a bandage, knowing it's his last chance, and putting all his shyness aside. “You are my best friend and the person I admire and love most. I don't want you to go because I want to stay by your side forever. But if you really have to go and never be able to come back...” the train conductor grabs Levi's arms and holds his hands behind his back. “Urg!... please... don't forget me, ok?”
If you kiss his lips, you will feel him reciprocate with the greatest of passions. And if the conductor tries to pull him and separate your kiss, Levi will grab him with his tail and secure him.
After that, the curse will be broken and you two will return to the real world.
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You received some messages from Satan asking if you were already at the train station and what time were you going to leave. You respond to him, but after that you don't know anything from him again.
You get on the train and sit in your seat. Satan didn't show up. Until the train left at least. Solomon notices that you are a little sad and tries to cheer you up. But then, just a couple of minutes later, the train stopped. Through the speakers, you hear the train driver's trembling voice asking YOU to please go to the driver's cab. Solomon goes with you, because the train driver's voice sounds scared and he wants to protect you in case it's a trap.
When you arrive, the train drivers are scared in the corner, yes, but that's because in front of them there is Satan in his demon form and in a very bad mood. Until the moment he sees you, and his eyes shine. When he sees Solomon, he gets a little grumpy again.
Fortunately, Solomon gets the hint and leaves you in the driver's cabin while he goes to another cabin. Satan tells the train drivers to leave too because he wants to speak to you in private.
“B-but, we are t-the train drivers. T-this is our c-cabin. Y-you shouldn’t-”
“Is the train moving right now?” Satan asks. The drivers say no with their heads. “So you are not needed here!”
The drivers get up and leave, closing the door behind you and leaving you and Satan alone. And suddenly, all his anger disappeared, being replaced by a light blush.
“(Y/N), I have something very important to tell you and I couldn't let you leave without you knowing it. I should have told you this before, but I don't know why I didn't. I think I was scared. That if it wasn't reciprocated I could get angry. But now it doesn't matter. I can't get mad at you anyway. So I just want you to know that you are very special to me. I love you and I always will. Wherever you go, I wanted you to know this. Of course, what I want most is for you to stay here with me, but if you really have to leave, know that you will always have my love. I will never forget you, so please do the same for me.”
This is your chance to show him that you love him too with a kiss. And if you do that, he will reciprocate with all that boiling passion he was trying to contain.
After that, the curse will be broken and you two will return to the real world.
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You were being bombarded with, not only messages, but a lot of missed calls from Asmo. You and Solomon were rushing to catch the train and that's why you weren't able to answer his calls.
As soon as you managed to get on the train and sit in your seats, the train leaves. You pick up your D.D.D. and try to call Asmo back. But all calls go to voice-mail. However, Solomon's D.D.D. starts ringing and when he looks, it says that is Asmo who’s calling him.
“Aw, and I thought you wanted to say goodbye to me with a thoughtful call.” Solomon says after answering the call. “What? Why?” Asmo responds, but you don't understand what he says. “Yeah, that's really cute of you but I'm sorry, I don't believe that.”
And then you hear Asmo's voice loudly coming from his D.D.D. “JUST SUMMON ME THERE THIS INSTANT!”
Solomon jumped at the yell he received in his ear. “Fine, fine. But you'll owe me one after this, ok?” He gets up and summons Asmo, who appears in his demon form.
The moment Asmo sees you, he hugs you, almost crying. “(Y/N)!!! Please do not leave me! I love you so so so much! *sob* I don't know what came over me that I never said this to you before. I wanted to say goodbye to you so much! *sob* I wanted to show you all my love but I couldn't get to the station in time. *sob*”
The train conductor appears and heads towards Asmo. He holds him by the shoulders and breaks your hug. He says Asmo has to leave because he's not a passenger. Asmo looks at him in the eyes and you realize he's using that special power of his.
“Aw, but I just want to say goodbye to the love of my life. They’re leaving and I couldn't even tell them in time how much I love them. You're not insensitive, are you? I’m sure you understand and will let me stay here as long as necessary. Right~?”
The conductor let go of him. “My apologies. I understand perfectly. You can stay as long as you need.” Turns around and leaves.
Asmo focuses all his attention on you again. “Are you sure you can't stay? Here with me~ I will love you every day at all times. I need you. *sob* I need you so much. *sob*” Tears begin to slowly flow down his face. “Please, don’t forget me. Promise?”
This is your cue to kiss him. If you do so, you will surprise him. And then you'll feel his arms desperately around you, and a passionate kiss from someone who is already good at kissing.
After that, the curse will be broken and you two will return to the real world.
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You received a message from Beel asking where you were. After telling him that you were at the train station, he asked how much time he still had to get to you before you left. Just 3 minutes. After that he stopped messaging you.
You boarded the train with Solomon and you took your seats. The train left and you didn't get to see Beel. Solomon noticed that you were sad about not saying goodbye to him and he tried to cheer you up a little by buying your favourite snack.
A few seconds later the passengers start to get agitated because something is happening outside the train. Over the speaker, a voice asks the passengers to remain calm. They know someone or something is on top of the train but they will sort it out.
At that moment, the door of the carriage you are in is broken down. And Beel gets in, walking directly towards you, ignoring all the other passengers.
“I knew it was you.” Beel says with that cute smile of his. “He says with that cute smile of his.” He looks at the snack Solomon bought you, and his smile starts to fade. “I don't think I'll be able to eat it again after you leave. It will remind me too much of you. And I'll be sad that I can't be with you. So I wanted to tell you-”
“THERE!” one of the three train conductors shouts, and all of them run straight towards Beel to catch him.
“I don't want to hurt anyone.” He says “But more than that I don't want to leave without saying goodbye to (Y/N).” He fights the three conductors, knocking them all out.
Then he turns back to you. “Sorry, I'm making a big mess.” Beel says, already regretting it, but knowing he had no other alternative. “But I can't let you leave without knowing one thing. You're very important to me. As special as my brothers. It hurts so much to see you go, but I need you to know that I love you. Whenever I eat something good, I will think of you and how much I would like to share that meal with you. Take good care of yourself, okay?”
This is your chance to kiss him. If you do, you will feel his strong arms around you, as if protecting and guarding you like his treasure.
After that, the curse will be broken and you two will return to the real world.
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Solomon notices that you are sad about not receiving messages from Belphegor. “I'm sure he really wanted to say goodbye to you.” He tells you “But, you know him, maybe he took a nap and didn't pay attention to the time.”
Eventually, you both boarded the train and sat in your seats. You didn't have any sign of Belphie until the train left. Solomon tries to cheer you up a little. He can't stand there seeing you sad.
But suddenly the train starts to slow down until it stops completely. Through the speakers you hear someone informing the passengers that there has been an unforeseen event and that the train has to turn back. You see the drivers passing you to get to the cabin on the other side of the train. They looked worried.
The train returns to the station and the doors are opened for anyone who wants to get off or on. And it is at that moment that Belphie enters, calmly, as if it were just another passenger. He stops next to you.
“(Y/N)~ You were leaving without saying goodbye to me. That's mean, you know.”
“Belphegor!” Solomon exclaims. “What happened? Why are you here?”
“I'm here because I wanted to say a proper goodbye to (Y/N). As for what's going on, why don't you go see? I would really like to speak alone with (Y/N).” He had that sly, slightly menacing smile on his face.
Solomon gets the hint and says he'll be right back before leaving the carriage.
“Sorry, I let myself fall asleep.” Belphie explains with an apologetic look. “I was dreaming about you. I dreamed that you had stayed, that you weren't leaving. So, to be honest, I didn't want to wake up. But then, you in my dream told me that I still had time, that I could still try to make that dream come true. That's why I woke up and came here. I don't want you to go, I want you to stay here with me. I love you. Are you sure you really can't stay? For me? For us? You also looked very happy in the dream, by the way.”
This is your chance to kiss him. If you do, you will feel a reciprocal tender kiss, and his arms lazily around you as if preparing to cuddle you until you both fall asleep in each other's arms.
After that, the curse will be broken and you two will return to the real world.
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If you want to know what book that was: It was the story of a man who, for never confessed his feelings to the woman he loved, regretted it for the rest of his life. Especially after discovering that she also loved him after she passed away.
The first couple to enter the book and confess their love for each other would break the curse and the souls of the never-lovers in life could rest in peace together.
And they... died?... happily ever after... I guess...
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If you dropped in here out of the blue and want to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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tragedybunny · 23 days ago
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Caught Out
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àŒșSummaryàŒ»
Astarion and Serafina get caught out in a storm and come up with a plan to get warm again.
àŒșPairingàŒ» Astarion x Serafina (Female Tav/OC)
àŒșWarningsàŒ» Non-explicit sex, a hint of suicidal ideation, otherwise just mostly fluff
àŒșWord CountàŒ» 2554
àŒșA/NàŒ»
This a gift for my dear friend @icybluepenguin as part of our server exchange. Sorry I had to keep secrets for so long on this. 😅 I hope you love it.
Thank to @leomonae for betaing and assuring me it worked, and for the great addition at the end.
Read on AO3
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Darkness was coming earlier with each day; while on the one hand that meant more time Astarion was able to travel freely, it also meant that the nights were becoming colder and the weather less pleasant. Serafina had watched the sun sink down past the horizon through a gathering tide of dark clouds that held the promise of a storm.
She and Astarion had left Baldur’s Gate some weeks back; their first lead on a way for Astarion to walk in the sun had proved fruitless, and now they were on their way to Waterdeep to consult with Gale on some research he had done.
Though at the moment, Sera wished they could just take shelter for the night. Astarion would likely want to press on: not only was he eager to find a way back into the light, he was eager to explore the world he’d been kept from for two hundred years. His impatience in that regard was understandable and forgivable, and so she would relent to continuing on, hoping the rain wouldn’t catch them.
As if sensing her thoughts - and she wasn’t sure that was out of the realm of possibility, with his new talents that had emerged once the tadpole was gone and he started being fed properly - Astarion emerged from their tent, immaculately dressed and perfectly coiffed. He flashed her a brilliant smile, fangs on full display; reveling in himself, with nothing to hide from her any longer.
“Good evening, my love.” He came over to wrap his arms around her and face the direction she was keeping watch, as she smothered the last of the cookfire. A sudden wind shook the leaves of the surrounding trees, drawing her gaze back to gathering clouds she had been observing earlier.
“Maybe not so good judging by those clouds.” Leaning her head back, Sera’s lips softly brushed the edge of his jaw, innocent and sensual at once. “Perhaps we should just stay at camp tonight?”
“Don’t tell me the hero of Baldur’s Gate is scared of a little rain!” Astarion’s teasing was followed by a playful nip to the point of her ear.
Swallowing down her growing misgivings about continuing their journey with the threatening skies, she turned in his arms and playfully tugged at one of his curls. “Oh, I'm not, but we'll see how you feel as soon as these get wet.”
“Cheeky.” Cool lips brushed over hers. “Let’s just see who surrenders to a little inconvenience first.”
With the camp packed, the two of them set out for the night along the road north to Waterdeep, emerging from the edge of the trees that marked the boundary of the Misty Forest. Astarion had been hesitant to fully enter the woods initially, knowing that the elves within saw it as their sovereign kingdom and might not feel kindly towards a half-blood and a vampire intruding. Sera had agreed with that assessment; what she hadn’t agreed with was not taking a room at the well-known traveler’s refuge, the Way Inn.
But Astarion had argued it was too crowded; too many would-be heroes. In the end, she couldn’t blame him for being cautious about being discovered; not after they’d accidentally discovered another vampiric ability of his near the start of their journey when he’d walked right up a wall in front of the inn’s patrons they were trying to defend. Luckily they had been playing heroes that night, and so the owners of the inn had been willing to overlook the obvious vampire who’d spent the following day hidden away in one of their rooms.
A distant peal of thunder broke the silence of the night; Sera glanced back towards where the stars were disappearing into a looming blackness. “If this storm catches up to us, we are staying in a real building tonight – one with a proper bath.”
It had been weeks on the road, bathing in rivers and ponds a good portion of the time; with the temperatures falling, a hot bath was most definitely in order. Maybe she should apologize to Astarion for teasing him when he’d previously complained about his creature comforts, Sera thought.
“Of course we can’t have a delicate lady such as yourself exposed to such elements,” Astarion said, then laughed merrily, darting just out of reach of her attempted playful smack to his shoulder.
“Impero te.” A clap of thunder came, right beside Astarion; he froze in his impish dance, looking worriedly up towards the clouds despite having heard her vocalize the spell. A simple Prestidigitation cantrip; now it was Sera’s turn to laugh. “I thought you were unworried about the elements.”
“That was cheating, madam,” Astarion groused.
The banter and chatting continued as they walked, before finally they fell into a companionable silence. While Sera certainly didn’t mind Astarion’s usual more talkative moods, his jokes and gossip about their friends gleaned from letters, the silence was lovely. The silence meant he was comfortable: not feeling driven to be entertaining and witty, every second of his existence, in order to earn his place. Not feeling like he had to earn his place with her.
Slowly, the light of the stars vanished, and then the moon as well, taking the ambient color of the world with them, until she and Astarion were left to rely upon their inherent darkvision as they continued along.
Another boom of genuine thunder sounded, closer than the first; the wind answered it with a fierce gust.
“I believe your storm ha-” Astarion cut himself off at the first drops of rain pattering down, looking up at the sky. “- has found us.”
Sera shivered in her armor, pulling the hood of her cloak over her head and trying not to be cross with her love over his earlier stubbornness, but finding herself longing for the warm bath she could be enjoying right now instead of standing in the frigid rain. “Shall we pick up the pace? Bowshot shouldn’t be far.”
Lightning danced across the sky, briefly returning color to their surroundings. Astarion stared at the falling water with disdain, but seemed determined not to admit defeat by agreeing with her outright. “If that is what my beloved wishes, we’ll make haste to town.”
With a gallant bow, he set off at a brisk jog; a pace designed for her to keep up with. He was faster now too, these days; it wouldn’t sustain over long distances, but in a short trek, he was near-impossible to catch.
Not to be found wanting, Sera hurried to follow, slipping the strap of her staff over her shoulder to keep it out of the way.
The patter of rain soon became a downpour, the water soaking into the padded cloth of her armor and weighing her down. Astarion had slowed, his own leather armor sodden as well. The relentless wind made her blood feel like ice water in her veins. Shaking, she pulled her now useless cloak tighter around herself. 
Astarion further slowed his pace to let Sera catch up, then put an arm around her.
“I'm sorry, my love; I should have listened. You're freezing.” His voice sounded so genuinely pained that Sera couldn't help but let go of any lingering irritation.
“Let's just find some place to stop.” Gods above, how far could Bowshot be?
“Perhaps that will suffice?” Astarion pointed to what looked like a rather worn down building some distance off the road.
It would at least be dry. But
 
“There could be other things taking shelter there,” Sera mused, though the steady flood from the sky was making her care less and less about that with every passing moment.
“What's the worst there could be? Goblins? Kobolds?”
“You know, I think you secretly like eating kobolds,” Sera teased; Astarion scoffed at the remark. “But you're right, it has to be better than this.”
The two of them scurried from the road and down along the overgrown, muddy track that looked to have once served as a cart path.
The structure loomed before them, two stories of worn wood, grime-covered windows, and a door barely clinging to its hinges. It couldn’t be any worse than camping in the Shadow-Cursed Lands, though, Sera thought, hanging back to keep an eye on the road behind them while Astarion, as the more silent of the two of them, entered first to scout the place.
It wasn’t long before he reappeared, a pale face and faintly glowing red eyes looming out of the darkness; it would have been frightening, if Sera didn’t know it so well.
“It’s not a well-kept inn, but there are no kobolds.”
“That will do.” Sera followed up into the house as Astarion led the way, down an entry hall into a parlor with a large hearth and the broken remains of furniture scattered around. Various doors led to the rest of the house, and a stairway vanished up into darkness.
At least the roof above this area seemed to be holding fast against the continued torrent of rain, even as the storm banged and boomed in even fiercer fashion.
“Nothing for it but to sit it out, I suppose,” Sera said, after taking in their surroundings.
“We need to get you dry first,” Astarion said, brushing a strand of hair out of her face and cupping her cheek. “You’re cold as death. And I should know.”
Astarion set to work without waiting for a reply, removing his armor and breaking apart a few of the chairs; in the meanwhile, Sera stripped off her cloak and padded armor before tugging off her boots as well, leaving both her and Astarion similarly garbed in loose shirts and breeches. From inside their Bag of Holding, she pulled out a couple of bedrolls and extra blankets - they might as well make themselves comfortable.
“Ignis,” Astarion spoke; a fire blazed to life in the hearth, adding at least some warmth to their bleak shelter.
When he turned back toward her, Sera had the bedrolls spread out on the floor and had already made herself comfortable; she patted the spot next to herself invitingly. The grin Astarion gave her in return was both mischievous and lascivious.
He wasted no time in settling next to her, pulling her into his arms. “Why, my sweet Serafina, this won’t do at all.  Your clothes are still far too damp; best to remove them.”
“How will I keep warm at all without them?” Sera looked up at him through her lashes, eyes wide in a pantomime of feigned naivety.
“I’m sure I can think of a way to get you warm.” Astarion’s hands gripped her shirt, beginning to tug on it as though to pull it over her head. Feeling a sudden flush, she yielded, growing passion starting to push away lingering trepidation about the storm. 
Brilliant lightning brightened the room, flashing just as thunder rattled the house’s rickety bones, followed by a strange thump from up the stairs.
They both froze.
“I thought you cleared the house?” Sera asked, lowering her voice to a whisper.
“I did!” Astarion shot back, defensively, before recovering his composure. “Perhaps it’s a ghost. Do you need me to protect you from the other creatures of the night?”
His hands went back to attempting to remove her shirt.
“We fought a ghost and won,” Sera muttered as one of his icy hands suddenly palmed her breast, leaving her sighing and leaning into his touch. A metallic sort of whine came from upstairs; it had to just be the house having been shaken by the storm, the wind still battering it, but they seemed safe enough for the moment. Why not indulge in a bit of fun?
“Oh no, a ghost. Maybe we should hide under all these blankets.”
“Excellent idea, love. I can keep you nice and safe under there.” With a quick tug, Astarion pulled her shirt off and pushed her down to the bedroll. “Oh, but these breeches are
”
Astarion trailed off, clearly unable to decide whether to keep going with the ghost pretence or the “too wet” notion. “Well, either way, they just have to go.”
Soon Sera was left naked and shivering, eager for both the blankets and Astarion, even if his body temperature wouldn’t help with warming her up. But there were other ways he could help her with that, as he’d promised. 
“No fair, you’re still dressed. We should be equally vulnerable to the ghosts,” Sera teased, sliding her foot up his leg to run along the obvious bulge at his groin.
“Of course, I’ll make myself a similarly tempting target to lure the ghosts away from you.”
Astarion quickly dispensed with his own clothes until he was left bare, shining like marble in the soft glow of the fire; a truly ethereal beauty. Sometimes, Sera thought that if he accidentally killed her during one of his feedings, she’d be happy to die that way: in his arms, lost in passion, offering him the sustenance to sustain his life.
There was another thud somewhere in the house, quickly blotted out by yet more thunder as the storm’s fury began to build to a crescendo.
“Oh no, protect me, my brave love!”
Sera held her arms out, lost in the building warmth in her core, unable to muster any care for the fact that this particular thud seemed closer. Gathering the blankets, Astarion lowered himself down to her, lips pressed against hers, covering them both. The chill of the rain-soaked walk was instantly forgotten. He was right: he was very good at getting her warm - with teeth and tongue and hands and cock stiff with wanting her.
The blankets surrounding them trapped the heat of their coupling while the fire burned itself down. A sheen of sweat covered them, by the time Astarion collapsed into her arms, face nuzzling into her neck.
Sera hummed, running her fingers up and down the lean muscles of his body, less sharply defined now that he was no longer being starved. “Is it my turn to warm you up, love?”
“You're too good to me,” Astarion breathed, just before his fangs sank into her neck.
The storm slowed as he fed, leaving behind only the sound of a gentle patter of rain and the crackle of dying embers.
Safe, warm, loved - there was nothing more Sera could want. Except for the goal they sought: Astarion returned to the sun. And they were well on their way to that one.
Once Astarion finished feeding and had licked her wounds clean, Sera sat up. Waterdeep was still a long ways to go.
“The rain’s stopped. Our armor is still soaked, but we could get on the road without -”
Sera was cut off by Astarion wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close, kissing along her shoulder. “A little longer, Sera, love; no need to pay for my impatience twice in a night.”
Sera wavered, then gave in, her eyes closing as she sighed contentedly. As they shut, for a moment she almost thought she’d glimpsed a silvery figure from the corner of her vision.
A trick of the shadows and the ghost talk from earlier, surely, Sera thought, dismissing the imagined apparition as she leaned back against Astarion. Besides. She had a vampire.
Tag list: @writingmysanity @snowfolly @sunfire-ancunin @vixstarria
@just-a-refrigerator @ladyofcrowsandcoffee @tallymonster @azu21
@wilteddreamsofbaldursgate @spacebarbarianweird @cilil @bg3obsessedsideblog
@talented-bitch @claryvoyantfray
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zoeykallus · 1 year ago
Text
The Bad Batch x Reader HCs - Abandonment Issues
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As requested by @golden-nyx-ghost I hope I'm not too far off the mark 😅
Warnings: Mentioned Anxiety/Implied Traumatic Experience/Hurt/Comfort/Also; Crosshair (I mean strong language)
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Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)
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I had to do a little research on that topic and thought I'd share what I found.
Abandonment issues is an informal term that describes a strong fear of losing loved ones or of them leaving a relationship. This fear can result from trauma, anxiety, and other mental health conditions.
Most common “symptoms”
worry that friends or partners will leave them
constantly look for signs that others do not really like them
need frequent reassurance that others love them
always try to please others, even at their own expense
give too much in relationships, or have a lack of boundaries
stay in unhealthy relationships due to a fear of being alone
What it can do to a person:
Have anxiety: Both children and adults with fear of abandonment may feel chronically anxious, especially if they feel a relationship is about to end.
Experience relationship challenges: Anxiety about abandonment can alter a person’s perceptions of their relationship, causing them to see problems where none exist. They may be sensitive to any sign of rejection, or find it difficult to trust that their partner will not leave. This can result in clingy behavior, which may impact the relationship.
Communicate poorly: People with abandonment issues may develop harmful communication techniques to ease their anxiety. For example, they may engage in attention-seeking behavior to get the love they feel they might lose.
Engage in harmful behavior: People with a fear of abandonment can sometimes try to prevent their partner from leaving them through manipulative or even abusive behavior. For example, a person may try to prevent someone from socializing with others. This is a form of coercive control.
Source
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AC: Of course, there are different forms of this problem, and it doesn't have to go to the extreme right away. At this point, we assume that no chronic, negative (harmful) behaviors have manifested yet.
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Hunter
He is often quiet, introverted, but unlike you might think, he listens very carefully, is alert, attentive. He does not miss when your mood changes, and you are suddenly unsettled. Hunter reads your body language, notices every little thing. But he doesn't want to barge in, so he first tries to find out what makes you tick, to learn something about your past.
Gradually, he realizes what's bothering you, why you're sometimes so tense and overprotective when you communicate with him, why you sometimes barely let him out of your sight.
"You're afraid," he says unexpectedly.
You look at him, startled; you weren't really aware of it yourself. But now that he brings it up, you feel it abundantly clear.
"You won't lose me, you won't lose any of us. You won't get rid of us that easily."
You blink and say softly, "I've heard that before."
Hunter sighs softly, but smiles at you.
"You will see and learn with time that your past can't determine your future, it can only if you let it. You can count on us"
He grabs your shoulder and looks deep into your eyes.
"Do you trust me?"
You can't help but nod, Hunter's eyes, his expression, you feel so close to him.
"Good, have a little patience, that feeling of security you crave, it will come with time".
Echo
With him, you can talk openly about everything, he is a good listener, and he will always try to find a solution to the problems discussed between you. Echo can well understand what this fear of being abandoned or losing people is and how it feels. As a soldier, one inevitably deals with it a lot. Echo lost a great many of his brothers, not only to war, but also to Order 66.
"Some things we can't hold on to, no matter how hard we cling to them. That's a realization that's hard, but it comes eventually. You have to come to terms with it, make friends with it."
You wrap your arms around your body as if you need to hold on to yourself.
Echo sits down next to you and continues, "None of us want to leave you, but sometimes that's not in our power to decide. Voluntarily, we will never turn our backs on you. But you have to come to terms in a healthy way with the fact that some things are beyond our control."
You sigh softly and say, "I know, I just care that you don't seek distance from me because of me."
Echo laughs softly and says, "You're not getting rid of us that easily."
Wrecker
This cheerful guy is also a good listener and a good distraction. Wrecker can always carry you away and get you out of your darkest worries and thoughts. But he can also listen to you seriously and calmly when you need it.
He is attentive and much more empathetic than some might think.
Wrecker listens and nods in understanding.
"I know it's not the same, but I also sometimes fear losing my brothers. Well, as a soldier, you just worry about the things that might happen in the field. But you can't let that make you crazy."
You smile wryly at him.
"We certainly won't let you down on purpose," Wrecker says with conviction.
"Are you sure?"
"You're not losing us, we're here for you, every one of us," he says with a smile, thrusting a box of Mantel-mix into your hand.
You look up at him and say, "I've thought that about other people too."
Wrecker says perkily, "But we're not other people, we're Clone Force 99, and we deliver what we promise."
Tech
"Change is a fundamental part of life. People come and go, sometimes even those who are particularly close to us. That is quite normal. To be afraid of it is pointless."
You frown and say critically, "Aren't you afraid of suddenly being alone at some point?"
Tech goes into himself for a moment, thinks, then answers, "Not really. It's relatively unlikely that I'll suddenly find myself all alone at some point."
"Couldn't that theoretically happen to anyone?" you ask.
He frowns and says, "Well, theoretically it can, but there's also a probability factor."
You raise your eyebrows.
"Are you trying to tell yourself that right now because you're actually afraid of it too?"
Tech looks at you indignantly.
"I'm not afraid. There's no reason to be, and there's no reason for you to be. Why would we abandon you?"
You shrug, scenarios coming to mind.
"It's enough when priorities change, meeting new people in someone's life, that's often enough to split groups," you say seriously.
Tech hesitates.
"Well
 yes, that may be true
"
"But?"
He sighs and says, "If you let that anxiety consume you, you can't enjoy the time you have with the people around you at all. This constant anxious tension is unhealthy"
"That may be," you admit quietly.
Tech hands you back your holopad he fixed for you.
"Here. Good as new," he says with a small smile.
"Thanks Tech, and thanks for listening".
"Anytime."
Crosshair
He has already recognized your behavior and that you cling does not agree with him at all. He can't handle it very well. Crosshair at least tries, in his own way.
"What do you want me to say? People leave us sometimes, and sometimes they leave us behind".
He himself has already had this painful experience, and actually he knows exactly how it feels.
"Hurts like a bitch, but it will pass. You can't let that define your life"
"That's easy for you to say," you sigh, dropping into your bunk.
Crosshair sighs deeply before sitting down on the bunk across from yours that actually belongs to Hunter and looks at you.
"No, I'm not just saying that. I've been through this experience too, I know it sucks, and I know you can get through it if you don't let it consume you."
You sit up and look at him questioningly.
"And how did you do that? How did you deal with it?"
Crosshair sighs again, shakes his head, and says grumpily, "You might not want to take an example from that"
"Why not?"
"My approach was unhealthy, too," he says reluctantly.
As you look at him questioningly, he continues, "Echo would probably say I'm stubborn as shit, but that wasn't it, not quite."
"Then what was it?" you ask cautiously, sensing that you're on sensitive ground here.
Crosshair looks around as if to make sure the two of you are alone. Finally, he looks at you again.
"I didn't cling to other people, but to being a soldier, to my supposed duty. The reason why my brothers and I actually parted ways to begin with. I plunged deeper into it, so deep that soon I was no longer myself. The whole process was painful, for me and others, you should not take an example from that".
You don't say the question that is on the tip of your tongue, but he answers it anyway, as if he felt it.
"Enjoy what you have, hold on to the positive things, not the negative. Deal with it, but deal with it sensibly. You can't force anything, neither that people stay with you nor that old wounds heal. Everything needs time and some work. But you can be sure, we would never abandon you willingly, none of us".
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grassyhorizon45 · 8 months ago
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Trigger.
Marauders × DiD!Reader where James plays favourites between Y/n's alters and it all goes downhill from there </3
Warnings: inconsideration? cute nicknames???
(I really need to figure out how to write warnings 😅)
Word count: 458
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James never liked playing favorites. He never meant for it to happen the way it was now but he couldn't deny that he liked Y/n's other alter more than Y/n herself. Of course he'd never tell anyone this
 Y/n didn't know and he intended on keeping it that way for both his and her sakes


Until the day he found out how triggers worked.
“J-Jamie– Wh-what are you holding

 Why??!” She yelled, squeezing her eyes shut and covering her ears.
Okay
 Not the reaction I was expecting. He lifted the bamboo flute to his mouth. 
At that moment, the door to their room opened and Y/n ran straight to Remus who had just entered. She started to cry, snuggling into Remus’ arms.
“I-” Remus was confused. “What's wrong bunny?”
“He's trying to force me to switch out Remy
” she sobbed into him.
Remus took a moment to figure out what she was talking about, Sirius entering the room in the meantime. Y/n quietly told Sirius what was happening too, rubbing away the tears streaming down her face.
James just sat there feeling a wave of guilt wash over him as he put down the flute.
Sirius instructed Remus to bring Y/n somewhere else to calm down before walking up to James.
“Why would you— How could you, Prongs?!” He huffed, trying to control his temper. “You know how much her condition is affecting her mental health already— Why do you have to be so selfish?!”
James sat there, quiet. Unlike Sirius, he didn't do any thorough research on their girlfriend's multiple personality disorder; thus not knowing how it worked very well.
“I didn't mean to hurt her feelings,” he mumbled.
Sirius rolled his eyes. “You almost took away Y/n's turn to live! Imagine this Prongs; imagine only living 40% of your body's life only to have it taken away because your boyfriend prefers your other half.” Sirius rested his head on his hand and sat down next to James. He sighed, “I know Y/n prefers Moony and Emi likes you more

 but it still doesn't give you any right to take advantage of their triggers. Understand?”
“Okay.”
James couldn't shake it though, the image of Y/n running to Remus, that face of hurt that he had caused
 He didn't think this through, he was selfish to think it was a genius plan


There was a knock on the door, Remus poked his head in. 
“May we come in?”
James gulped, not missing the fact he'd said we. Sirius nodded, putting an arm around James.
Y/n walked in, hands crossed over her chest and eyes avoiding any form of eye contact with anyone.
James got up. “L-Look, Y/n

”
a/n: OKAY. So for context right... Y/n's trigger away (or) Emi's trigger to front is the sharp sound of the flute. No idea where this idea came from but tadaaa!
(so like maybe it triggers some trauma or smth herm...)
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cleopheanne · 4 months ago
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I don't know if it's Claire nakti herself that does her own research or if she works with an occultist but the person behind her work is absolutely talented, and insanely well versed into the occult world. Right now I was doing some research on Ancient Egypt Mysteries and let me tell you that this lady has an insane intuition, the amount of observation that must have gone into this work, if she is the one behind it, she is truly a mystic, and the most surprising thing is that she reveals such a superficial part of it to her audience on ytb at least. As somebody quite young who is interested in astrology (I'm 18), I'm just flabbergasted by the things that I find and see: Astrology is truly real in fact it is the key behind understanding the world and it's symbols.
if you are interested in the occult Astrology is a non-negociable, Ancient Egyptians were so advanced because of their knowledge and use of Astrology, Astrology seems to be the things that link together multiple concepts and ideas that you find in every culture, if you don't have this knowledge you will definitely have a hard time establishing those links unless you have an insane intuition and a lot of inate wisdom which is quite rare in this era. Anyways Claire Nakti is definitely talented and cultured and she doesn't reveals much that's why people love to criticize her "superficial" content however I don't think that if she offered the type of content that her research allows she would have an audience at all most people wouldn't want to hear this type of knowledge which very much feels like an anthropology lecture.
So I have always knew how restricted my occult knowledge was, however now that I can count this on a number of pages I don't think that I will be ever comfortable with opening my mouth on this subject for the next 6 years at least 😅 my God there is so much that is to know it's bonkers đŸ˜«đŸ˜«
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zepskies · 5 months ago
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Hello hun! 😊
Okay, since I'm still on hold up here 🙈, I thought I send you a question.
How do you find a plot for your storys? What get's your inspiration going or what does spark you to make it a WIP?
So interested to hear how it works for you. 😁
Hey there, lovely!! 💜
Aww still waiting on Tracker to come out for you, huh? Almost there, right? 😅
But thank you for this question! The lovely @luci-in-trenchcoats asked me a similar one not too long ago in this ask, so my answer will be similar on some things.
⚡ Getting inspiration for stories:
Initially, my imagination always gets sparked by the "What If" question. Here are a few examples:
"What if Soldier Boy could be redeemed?" (Break Me Down - Soldier Boy x Reader)
"What if Dean Winchester had a Latina girlfriend?" (Midnight Espresso - Dean x Plus-sized Latina!Reader)
"What if Dean was a firefighter?" (Smoke Eater - Firefighter!Dean x Reader)
"What if Dean met his soulmate in season 1?" (Never Say Goodbye - Dean x Soulmate!Reader)
"What if Russell Shaw set his sights on his sister's best friend?" (Every Second Counts - Russell Shaw x Reader)
"What if you had a messy past you were running from, just like the new sheriff in town?" (Take Me Home - Beau Arlen x Reader)
You get the idea. 😂
âœđŸœ Developing the plot:
After that, where I draw ideas for the plot depends on the kind of story I'm writing. And for that, I'm a big advocate of:
"Write what you know."
"Write what you can research."
"Write what you're interested in."
"Write what you've never tried to do before (but may secretly want to)."
Again, a couple of examples...
Break Me Down:
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With BMD, I already had a loose concept in Checkerboard, with the reader working surveillance at Supe Affairs. It would paint her and Soldier Boy (Ben) as enemies from the start. "Enemies to lovers" was a trope I had never written before, but I thought it was a fun challenge, besides the obvious one of attempting to "redeem" Soldier Boy lol.
In general, I'm a sucker for the gruff, devil-may-care, rough exterior guy who only becomes soft for his girl. 😂
More practically though, I drew from the source material a bit for the Black Noir twist (the comics), and also from my love of Smallville for some of the superhero plot aspects. I also knew that if the reader was going to eventually give Ben a chance and see the humanity underneath, she would need time to do it. So what better way than with an accidental kidnapping? 😅
And somehow it became this quasi- Beauty & the Beast storyline that developed into Ben and the reader saving one another, in more ways than one. 💚
Smoke Eater:
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With this story, I had several influences that helped me develop the plot. I have a deep and abiding love for cop and medical procedurals like Law & Order, House MD, and Chicago PD, but also for Chicago Fire in particular. (Also my uncle was a firefighter.) That helped me create Firehouse 25 and decide which canon characters I wanted to pull into the narrative.
It was my first ever full AU as well, so I drew a lot from the SPN canon S1-2 storyline to create the overarching murder mystery/the string of arsons. I was also very much impacted from stories my friends had told me of their experiences with sexual harassment, which is unfortunately where the Nick storyline came in.
And I actually drew a lot from my own experience with grief and loss in that story. Specifically in the challenges the reader faces with her family (with Dean's help). I wasn't conscious of it at the time, but after I wrote the initial drafts and started editing each chapter, I realized just where I was drawing from for that storyline. 💙
All that to say, that's a snapshot into my process from ideation to plotting! It's not always easy when you hit those difficult beats in a story, whether it's grief and loss, trauma and PSTD, or just the difficulties of making complex plot lines connect.
But overall, I do my best to have fun. If I'm not having fun, then why am I writing? 😘
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Anyway. 😂 Thank you so much for this question, my friend! @jessjad I'm pretty sure this is way more than you wanted to hear, but I so appreciate you for asking about my writing process! 💗
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luchicm04 · 4 months ago
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Sinking in the Metkayina - chapter 1
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Masterlist
Summary: That night, (Y/n) couldn’t sleep, so she tossed and turned in bed and finally came out onto the deck. The night sea of Pandora seen from the ship was as beautiful as always. It was a world worth protecting. The woman leaned against the railing, recalling that terrible and scary battlefield... and just then, a wave rocked and swayed the boat all of a sudden and she... fell into the sea.
Pairing: Tonowari/Omatikaya!Fem Reader
Tag: #sinking in the metkayina fic
posted on ao3
Word count: +8k
All characters belong to Avatar, and all rights are reserved to the original work whose author allowed me to translate it. I took some (a lot) of creative liberties while writing, adding a few things and changing some. This is the first time I translate a Korean fic, so I hope I did it properly😅
The premise of this story is that humans have a respiratory system adapted to Pandora’s air. It’d be so annoying and interfering otherwise, and it wouldn’t allow for deep kissing and the endless things you can do with your mouth.
Overall warnings: hurt/comfort, fluff, edging, eventual smut⚠
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(Y/n) was a marine biology researcher. She used to do various studies on Na’vis and periodically go out to the ocean with her colleagues to collect samples. However, when many scientists who sided with the RDA were kicked out and sent back to Earth... she was left alone as an oceanographer, with no one to accompany her to the open seas anymore. 
It would have been nice if Jake had more allies who sympathized with him, but (Y/n) swallowed her tears. Fortunately, there were still a few people who knew how to sail a ship, so she left Hell’s Gate and headed out to sea for her investigation after a lot of deliberation. 
She was just staring at the water in the vastness of the ocean... and suddenly, she was struck with dizziness, wondering ‘What am I doing here?’ 
That night, (Y/n) couldn’t sleep, so she tossed and turned in bed and finally came out onto the deck. The night sea of Pandora seen from the ship was as beautiful as always. It was a world worth protecting. The woman leaned against the railing, recalling that terrible and scary battlefield... and just then, a wave rocked and swayed the boat all of a sudden and she... fell into the sea. 
(Y/n), who had fallen into the water without any equipment, screamed while struggling. “Is there anyone here? Hello?!! Please, I need help!!”  
She tried to swim closer to the boat but was pushed further away by the waves. 
Even after the ship had completely disappeared from sight, (Y/n) continued to swim, but her hope was fading away. Time continued to pass, and she had no energy left because she had struggled so hard. Her lips were trembling from hypothermia, and only despair rose up in her. 
‘Am I going to die here? Not on Earth, but on a distant star a few light years away?’  
The strength slowly drained from her limbs and (Y/n) lost consciousness after hearing something that sounded like a whale’s cry. 
──
When she opened her eyes... she screamed at the sight of Na’vis looking down at her with faces full of curiosity and wariness. The Na’vi, who were startled by (Y/n)’s yell, shouted along with her, making her scratch the back of her head in embarrassment after calming down. The surroundings had started to get noisy after she had woken up. 
‘Vrrtep? ...They must be talking about me, right? This sucks... Well, at least I’m alive, which is a good thing... but it feels that I’m going to die anytime soon...’  
Na’vis began to gather, and (Y/n) flinched in fear at their piercing gazes. They looked different from those of the Omatikaya; their skin color was lighter, their arms were thicker... oh, look those muscles... wait, what was she thinking? Did she want to die by a harpoon? She was silently praying, if it came to be, for them to kill her painlessly with one blow when two Na’vis appeared through the crowd. 
Judging by the fancy and colorful ornaments, the girl was 100% sure they must be the Olo’eyktan and Tsahìk. She had to show them she had nothing but good intentions! 
(Y/n) immediately jumped up and cast the ‘I see you’ while speaking in the native language, in which she was haltingly fluent. “I have no intention of causing harm. I am a tìftiatu.” 
The Tsahìk looked up at the Olo’eyktan and they stayed silent. 
‘Good thing I learnt that word from a baby forest Na’vi... Why aren’t they saying anything? Please, let me live to see another day.’  
“Do you know why you are here?” the chief asked. 
“When I opened my eyes, I was already here.” 
“A tulkun saved you and brought you the shore.” 
“Tool... kun? Wait, a tulkun?” 
“Yes.” 
“Oh my god!!”  
‘I had the chance to see a tulkun with my own two eyes?! I didn’t even get to see a single tail fin!! I should’ve woken up, and instead I missed it! Aaaah!!!’  
(Y/n), who was mentally punishing herself while outwardly doing a one-woman show, barely came to her senses under the strange look of the Olo’eyktan, and desperately tried to appeal to herself that she was harmless by raising her frail arms and clearing her throat to speak. 
“I am not a warrior; I mean no harm. I just want to know about life in this place and the meaning of Eywa.” 
“...Why? You are one of the demons.” 
“Because not all demons want destruction.” 
“Is that so?” 
“Yes, it is.” 
‘Thanks for the lessons, forest kid.’  
The male leader spoke to the woman with a softened expression. 
“She doesn’t look dangerous.” 
“What if it is only a mere appearance?” 
“She does not possess any of the Sky People tools. Without those ‘machines’, they are no different from newborn babies.” 
Was she being compared to a baby right now? ...Well, they weren’t wrong. (Y/n) listened to their conversation feeling nervous. 
“...You are allowed to stay here.” 
‘Yes!! However, asking for them to take me all the way back to the Omatikaya... I guess that’s too much, right? I don’t think they’ll listen... I’ll just have to survive in a place with no machines or anything technological. Luckily, I know about some creatures that humans can consume.’  
“Then... where should I stay?” 
The man replied calmly. “I’ll take care of that.” 
“Tonowari!” the Tsahìk exclaimed. 
‘So, his name is Tonowari? Huh, weird...’  
“No matter how weak she is, we will have to wait and see if she is completely harmless. As Olo’eyktan, it is my responsibility to care and watch over her.” 
“...Even though you might regret it?” 
“That too is my lot to bear.” 
Ah, great... is the leader of the tribe fighting with his wife already because of her mere existence on that island? She hopes she’s not ruining their relationship. 
“O-oh, it’s okay... you don’t have to help me, I can manage by myself. Plus, couples shouldn’t fight... Ahaha...” (Y/n) said nervously. 
Both Na’vi looked at her strangely. “We are not a couple.” 
“R-really?” 
“I suppose you didn’t know that Tsahìks and Olo’eyktans are not always paired up,” the woman stated drily. 
The human was sweating profusely. “...I didn’t know...” 
‘Oh, no... Did I just insult both them and their culture at the same time?’  
“Anyway, you are my responsibility from now on. Follow me, I will show where you can stay.” 
“Y-yes, yes... thank you...” 
Leaving behind the TsahÏk, who was still looking at her as if she were an unworthy insect, (Y/n) bowed and followed after Tonowari. 
After a short walk, they arrived at the area where the maruis rested above the water. Not long after that, the man stopped in front of the one she supposed would be assigned to her. She obviously expected it to be empty, but it was spacious and had traces of daily use. What? 
No matter how you look at it, someone was already living there. When (Y/n) looked at him with a question mark on her face, Tonowari spoke as if nothing had happened. “I said you were under my responsibility. You shall be living with me for a while.” 
“...I’m a girl, though?” 
“You are a woman of the Sky People. Don’t worry, nothing unpleasant will happen to you.” 
‘Well... of course, we are from different species... but something inside me... something similar to dignity is dying!! I want to tell him that, but I can't say anything because just receiving this invitation is a huge exception and privilege...’  
(Y/n) walked to a corner and crouched down. 
“Don’t be so nervous; you can relax, I won’t do anything to you.” 
“Y-yeah, uh-huh...” 
“Please, use the space a little more widely. There is no reason for you to feel uncomfortable.” 
“T-thank you...” 
Tonowari sighed as he looked down at (Y/n), who was sitting awkwardly and not knowing what to do. 
It seemed like there was quite a long way to go. 
──
The next day  
“Is there anything you can do?” 
“Uh... fish. I know them well. Sea... algae? Seaweed? I know seaweed well too.” 
Tonowari looked down at her, curious that a Sky Person would be so interested in the sea life-forms. 
(Y/n) shrugged. “It was my job to study them. I have lots of knowledge about them.” 
“Hmm... I guess that is not necessary right now. What about hunting?” 
“Nope, nothing.” 
“I will show you how to weave a net. Follow my lead,” he said as he grabbed a few materials so he could show her the basics. “Even if it’s temporary, as long as you stay here, you have to do your share.” 
“Yes, I know.” 
“This way, the basic knot is complete. Now, you try.” 
After a few attempts and feeling she was just making a fool of herself, (Y/n) questioned the process she was taking. “...Am I doing it right?” 
“Put your right hand under the knot and pull it out to the left.” 
“Like this?” she asked after somehow managing to tangle the material even more, but not in the specified form. 
“...” 
“...Like this?” 
“...Let’s just try something else.” 
“Hey! Don’t give up on me so easily!” 
After wrestling with the cord for about two hours, (Y/n) unilaterally admitted defeat... 
“Well then, tell me how to make fabrics at least.” 
“If you can’t even weave a net, how will you be able to weave cloths?” he said pointedly. “I believe it’s best for you to follow me around for a while; look around and find something you can learn to do.” 
“...You don’t have to be so straightforward about it.” She saw how he was carefully gazing at her. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 
‘If we were friends, I would have thrown some joke like: “What’s the matter, hon? Am I that cute?” However, being in front of a 292cm (9’7”) giant Na’vi, I get so scared that I can only... squeak... Even though I’m tall for a human, I’d be like a little kid compared to Tonowari.’  
Still, seeing this, (Y/n) sighed and wondered if Tonowari would be able to teach the customs of the Na’vi... to a human. 
──
From that day on, (Y/n) followed Tonowari around and was shown all sorts of skills: how to cast and pull nets, how to manage a clam farm, how to sharpen and make spears, how to create accessories that are strong and durable even in seawater, etc. Surprisingly (or not), not a single one of them suited her. 
(Y/n)’s self-esteem, once a highly educated person, began to plummet. 
‘But I... I was a scholar capable enough to be dispatched to Pandora, so how can I be so useless? My knowledge has already been passed down through generations of Na’vis, and I have no talent for working with my hands... If I keep up like this, what are they going to do with me? What if I’m kicked out?’  
The night was getting deeper; the sound of the ocean could be heard, and (Y/n) was anxious... She crouched down and tried to come up with something. Nevertheless, no matter how much she thought about it, there was no answer. She had to prove her worth, but she couldn’t do anything... (Y/n), who had always been ahead of the curve, felt like she was nosediving with no way up. The only thing she felt she was good at the moment was sniffling. Which she started to do, little by little. 
And those sounds... Tonowari, who slept in the same room could, of course, hear them. Looking at (Y/n), who was lying down with her back turned and trying to quiet down her sniffs, he let out a small sigh and got up. 
“You can’t sleep?” 
“Y-yes... ugh... sniff...” 
“It’s been an hour.” 
“...Lie back down, I’m fine...” 
As the remains of his sleep disappeared, the Olo’eyktan awoke completely from his drowsy state. Tonowari spoke with a soothing tone as he looked at the state (Y/n) was in. 
“Every life has its own use and purpose in Eywa’s path. You, too, have your own purpose. Do not worry too much.” 
“...Do you really think so?” 
“Yes, I do.” 
Only then did (Y/n) loosen her distraught expression and turn around. Her eyes were wet from sobbing, but now she was smiling slightly. 
“You are very kind, sir.” 
“Ahem... I am responsible for you. It is only natural.” 
“But I’m a foreigner, so it must be burdensome for you, sir. Still, thank you.” 
“...Tonowari is also fine.” 
“Huh?” 
“What I mean is, you don’t have to call me sir every time. Many people call me by my name.” 
(Y/n) blinked briefly and burst into a small laugh. “You’re very kind, Tonowari.” 
“...It is late; go to bed and rest. You have many places to go to tomorrow.” 
Tonowari’s ears perked up a little as he spoke, so she found herself in a happy mood for the first time in a while. He looked very strict and serious, but he secretly had a kind side to him. He might even seem a little... cute? 
As she laid facing the ceiling, the sound of the waves, which was unusually loud, acted as a lullaby... (Y/n) fell asleep after a few minutes. 
──
(Y/n) and Tonowari searched the entire village for something to do... Clamming (too hard for a human), picking seaweed (can’t hold her breath for long, so ruled out), standing guard at the village border (barely getting by)... and finally! Finally, they found something she could do. 
Teaching children. 
(Y/n) was definitely into Pandora’s oceans, and her vocabulary was similar to the kids’ (lol) so it would be easy to teach them. 
‘I was hoping I would end up doing something with my dexterity... haha... I was a bit disappointed, but still! I was happy to be useful, and I felt flattered in front of Tonowari. He also congratulated me with a smile.’  
Of course, there was some opposition to the idea of the demon teaching their children, but after proving her knowledge was clearly useful, they decided to test it and see how it goes before making a formal decision. In order to do that, a Na’vi would be needed to watch and help out. 
And on the first day of teaching the younglings... (Y/n) was wondering who would come while Tonowari walked from afar. 
She stared confused as he approached her but was quick to greet him with the respect he deserved. “I see you, Tonowari. What brings you here...?” 
“I heard you need someone to help you.” 
“That’s true, but...” 
“You are under my responsibility, so it is right for me to take charge of that task as well.” 
“...Oh, aren’t you busy...?” 
“I have some free time to spare at the moment. Don’t worry.” 
‘Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhh- I thought we were going to do something like the neighborhood alphabet classroom, but now I have to do an observation class in front of the Olo’eyktan. Damn it!! And I’m just a researcher, not someone trained as an educator.’  
While sweating profusely, (Y/n) kept repeating to herself like a parrot that the chieftain must be busy, so... why was he here? 
The man was stubborn, so she gave up on that. The girl entered the space set up for what they would need and... there were more kids than she thought? (Y/n) raised a question mark. Could you blame her? Who could have thought so many would come knowing that they would be taught by a demon? 
The kids confidently said they had come without their parents’ knowing. The curiosity of pre-teens in their prime couldn’t be defeated, funnily enough. 
So, that was how (Y/n) started the first lesson. First, she listed the easy-to-find clams. 
“Okay, guys! Do you know what this is?” 
“Who doesn’t know that? It’s just a common clam.” 
“Right, but did you know that this clam has 300 eyes?” 
“Really????????” 
“Curious, isn’t it? Should I crack open it and check?” 
(Y/n) was trying her best to win them over... 
No matter what she did, it wouldn’t work. Pandora’s creatures were so huge... It wasn’t easy, and a female human’s energy couldn’t even come close to that of a Na’vi. 
Ah, she’d finally gotten their interest; she couldn’t just leave it like that. The woman trembled and used all her strength, but the clam was tightly shut. (Y/n)’s face was gradually turning sad until a large hand appeared from the side. 
It was Tonowari. He took the clam from her hands, which hadn’t even moved regardless of how hard she tried, and easily opened it... In 0.5 seconds... 
“Here you go.” 
“O-oh, uh... thanks.” 
“Wow~ Olo’eyktan is so cool!” 
“Thank you everyone. Now, keep focused on what (Y/n) will teach you.” 
“Okay~” 
After that thankful action, Tonowari nodded to her with a smile as if telling her to go ahead with the lesson. 
“Alright... Now that the Olo’eyktan has opened it, why don’t we take a look? Here, did you know everything in this side consists of the organs?” 
“Eww~ it’s so gross!” 
“It is, but thanks to that they know when predators ... no, tarioa- tairo-... I mean, when bad animals are coming, and they close their shells to protect themselves." 
“But why stay there instead of running away?” 
“...Well...” 
(Y/n) got caught in the moment, but Tonowari intervened from the side. 
“That is because the strong warriors of the Metkayina catch them. Nothing can escape our hands.” 
“Uh... That’s right! Warriors of the Metkayina! You too will achieve that position when you grow up. By the way, aren’t you curious about how clams eat?” 
‘Phew! Almost blew it back there.’  
A few hours later, (Y/n)’s first class ended with unexpected success. And... it seems she got herself an assistant? 
Tonowari woke her from her daydream, which was causing her soul to leak from her mouth, by tapping her. “That was impressive. There were some things I didn’t know. Did you discover them?” 
“Well... not necessarily me... but my colleagues and I made a collaboration ... how do you say this in Na’vi?” 
“Does this mean that this is the fruit of your efforts combined?” 
“Fruit? Fruition... Yes, that’s right!” 
“It seems like you’re doing well on your own. You are intelligent and talented.” 
'...The first compliment I heard since I got here!’  
(Y/n) was a little embarrassed, but she didn’t show it and replied “That’s just how I am” and shamefully left. Tonowari laughed a little at her cockiness. 
On the way to the marui, the sky and sea were covered in the sunset. The two walked slowly along the sandy beach and looked at the landscape. 
“It’s beautiful...” 
“The bottom of the sea is even more beautiful. Have you ever seen it?” 
“I’ve been there a few times. It was an unforgettable experience... Now that I think about it, I have never seen it here.” 
“The coral reefs of the Metkayina are especially famous for their beauty. Someday, I will show you how to ride an Ilu and show them to you.” 
“Really?!” 
“It would be absurd to be staying with the reef people and not seeing the reefs.” 
“Thank you, thank you! I will never forget this for as long as I live!” 
“...Because you seem to love the ocean too.” 
There was a moment of silence between them. 
“How could you not fall in love with this place?” 
“Didn’t you say that there is an ocean where you came from?” 
“Coral reefs are losing their color, animals are disappearing, and the water is tainted with dangerous substances. It can no longer be called an ocean.” 
“...That is regretful.” 
“That’s probably why I fell in love with this place so much. Living in this lively place feels like a dream.” 
He didn’t speak any more. They kept walking Tonowari, who didn’t say anything until they reached their destination, spoke quietly. 
“If there’s anything you would like to see, just tell me. I’ll help you as much as I can.” 
The image of Tonowari speaking like that remained in her mind for no reason and continued to linger in her mind until she closed her eyes and went to sleep. (Y/n) must have fallen asleep because when she woke up the soft sound of the waves, like white noise, and the voice of Tonowari in her head were mixed together and she couldn’t tell which was which. 
──
(Y/n)’s class was surprisingly booming as time went by. 
The kids who came after taking a class said it was so much fun, so those who called her ‘demon’ at first started coming one by one out of curiosity, and her crowd eventually grew... The youngsters did many things there besides learning like playing with friends and, honestly, parents were happy they didn’t have to watch over them all day (her school had become in some sort of childcare). 
It was also quite amusing to see the Olo’eyktan sitting solemnly on the sidelines and listening, then chiming in a word or two. And when (Y/n) muttered to herself something like “Oh, I don’t have this... I wish I did...”, Tonowari would quickly get up and disappear somewhere, then come back with it. 
“Where did you find this?! Tonowari, you’re the best!” 
“...You’re welcome.” 
She would spend all day teaching the kids (actually playing with them) and then in the evening, when they dispersed, she would walk along the sandy beach with Tonowari and chat. 
'At first, it was hard to talk to him because he scared me, but know that I know how considerate he is, haha, I feel I can speak with him more comfortably.’  
“The conch shell that I showed you earlier, isn’t it pretty? Should I make some jewelry with it?” 
“...Are you serious?” 
“No, even if my dexterity was ruined, it wouldn’t be to that extent...” 
“Well, I’ll make one for you instead.” 
“Wow, really? Yay !!” 
“ Yay ... Can I ask what that means?” 
“Well, it’s a great word to use when something is really good and exciting.” 
“...The Sky People’s language is really diverse.” 
“Anyway, you promised to make me one of those ornaments. I like necklaces!” 
“I see. I shall keep that in mind,” he said smiling down at her. 
And... time passed, and the day finally came when Tonowari decided to give (Y/n) a ride on an Ilu. 
Before, there had been a backlash that was summarized with: “We can’t trust the demon.” Now, through teaching, she had become close with the kids and established her own position, so things were better. 
“(Y/n)! I heard you were going to ride an Ilu today!” 
“Awesome! I’m so jealous!” 
“I’m learning to ride one too.” 
“I heard Tonowari himself would teach her.” 
“Lucky... Come back without any injuries!” 
“Do you think I will learn to ride soon too?” 
‘I always do this kind of back and forth with my students. I can’t do Tsaheylu, but the mere idea of being the first human to ever ride an Ilu makes me feel like I’m floating! I don’t think any human on Earth has ever ridden one. Especially with an Olo’eyktan teaching me directly!’  
Tonowari was barely able to calm (Y/n) down, who was almost jumping up and down with excitement, went out to the sea and called for an ilu. 
“Everybody makes that sound, but how do you do it?” 
“Like this.” He made some sounds from the back of his throat using his tongue. 
She tried to copy him to the best of her ability. “Am I doing it?” 
“...” 
That was all for the lesson on calling the Ilu. Tonowari lifted (Y/n) and placed her on one who had come near. 
“Whoa!!!!” 
“Um, let go of my hair...” 
“Sorry, sorry, you just surprised me all of a sudden...” 
(Y/n)... was quite tall for a human, and no one had ever lifted her like that since childhood. So, out of fright, she had ended up grabbing onto the hair of the Olo’eyktan for support. She let go, feeling embarrassed, and Tonowari grabbed her hand and told her how to hold it on the saddle. His larger hand, that covered (Y/n)’s whole and still had a lot of space left, folded each finger accordingly. 
She suddenly felt strange at the feeling of his hand... She thought it was because she was excited and let it go. 
“How long can you last underwater?” 
“I’ve had some training before, but... like 3 minutes?” 
“That is ridiculously weak...” 
“That... that is long?!” she affirmed offended. 
“I guess we’ll have to do a lot of practice. Anyway, hold your breath, we are going into the water now.” 
“Really? Now? Wait a minute, whoa-” 
As soon as the Ilu dived, Tonowari grabbed its queue and dived with it. 
(Y/n) barely managed to catch her breath at the timing, and as she closed her eyes tightly in a state of exclamation, she was dragged by the Ilu as it swam aimlessly. After a few seconds, she felt someone tapping her from the side, so she cautiously opened her eyes and almost opened her mouth as well to say: “Wow”. 
The scenery before her eyes was truly fantastic. Colorful aquatic creatures swimming in the clear waters and colorful coral reefs... Shoals of small fish passed by (Y/n) and Tonowari, and the Ilu played in circles among the giant seaweed. 
‘This sight will forever live in my memory,’ she thought to herself. 
Tonowari, who was caressing the Ilu, smiled slightly as he looked at her as she was absentmindedly watching everything. Seeing that she liked it so much, he thought that he should have brought her out there earlier... (Y/n), who seemed to sense his gaze, looked back and waved her hand with a bright smile. 
At that moment, Tonowari felt his heartbeat suddenly stop for a second. 
Why? Had he stayed in the water for too long? No, it wasn’t that... The man put his hand on his chest and questioned this strange throbbing sensation. 
Right then, he saw (Y/n) gesturing upwards as if she were out of breath and apologetically sent the Ilu up to the surface. 
“Phew! That was really, really fantastic! Thank you, Tonowari!” 
“...It was nothing.” 
“It was not nothing. If it weren’t for you, I would still be feared as a demon and wouldn’t have had even come close to touching one of his fins.” 
(Y/n) had been able to establish herself in the village thanks to Tonowari, so she smiled happily as she expressed her gratitude for that again. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her... 
“Today I just looked around, but next time I’ll be looking for samples for research. Will you be coming with me?” 
To this bold and valiant woman who fearlessly asked the Olo’eyktan to accompany, Tonowari could only nod... without even knowing why. 
“I don’t know what samples are, but... if you want to.” 
“Oh my? What if something weird happens?” 
“I know you wouldn’t do anything to purposely harm us.” 
“Wow... that’s touching. Why are you so kind to me?” 
“...It’s no big deal.” 
Tonowari always said that when he was embarrassed. But never the actual thing. 
──
From that day onwards, (Y/n) went out to collect samples carrying the small bag that Tonowari had made for her. The man was always by her side and would even hold things for her if they were too heavy. 
What’s more, he taught her breathing techniques so she could hold longer underwater... and the two naturally became closer. 
“I’d like to go out for a bit. Is that okay?” 
“It’s dangerous. I wouldn’t recomment it.” 
“Um... Just for a bit? There’s something at the bottom I really want to look into...” 
“I said it was dangerous.” 
“Why can’t I? I’ll just dig that up and come right back!” 
“...” 
Strangely, it became difficult for Tonowari to say no to (Y/n)’s words. 
She had become quite capable at holding her breath through continuous training (nothing compared to a Na’vi, of course) and was confident that she would be fine in deeper waters. 
The day they decided to go far away, Tonowari came with a fierce-looking spear; (Y/n) wondered if it was necessary, but she thought that he would know better. The two of them went beyond the coral reef on Ilu... but the chief was so big that it was more like holding onto its queue with her on board rather than riding it. 
Anyway, the two went down to the deep water and luckily, they quickly found what (Y/n) was looking for. The girl was carefully putting it in her bag with an excited face, when a huge shadow fell over her. 
It was a Pxazang. 
Before she could scream, Tonowari pierced his spear straight into the beast’s stomach and it shook violently, bleeding in pain. Right after, he narrowly escaped from having his arm bit off while holding onto the Ilu and (Y/n). Both continued to head down and down among the tall seaweed and coral. The predator chased after them, chewing and breaking through stone pillars like a madman despite having been stabbed. 
Tonowari gritted his teeth and held (Y/n)’s arms tightly so as not to lose her and continued to descend... And the two, barely able to hide in a place where its teeth could not reach, held their breaths and tried to calm their pounding hearts. 
Nevertheless, there was a problem... Not matter how much (Y/n) trained, she wasn’t a Na’vi and soon started to suffocate. She tried her best to hold it in, but when a gulping sound was heard, the man looked down at her... and realized the situation. Without even thinking, Tonowari lowered his head and kissed her. 
The moment (Y/n)’s eyes opened wide, he breathed life into her... while she was hardly hanging on and clinging to his body. 
How many times did she inhale and exhale like that? Finally, the human’s stomach settled down; Tonowari made a gesture, grabbed the handles of the Ilu and headed towards the surface. 
“Gasp...! Cough, cough... Ugh...”  
(Y/n), who had been holding to Tonowari’s arms, gasped and finally filled her lungs. Even though he had trouble breathing after sharing air with her, the Na’vi held her cheeks to check if she was hurt anywhere. The two looked at each other for a long time, catching their breath. 
Tonowari’s heartbeat was so loud that it could be felt in his arms... The face that habitually looked down was full of relief at barely surviving, and subsided fear at knowing she had made it... The man met (Y/n)’s eyes, which were filled with a mixture of emotions, and impulsively kissed her.  
Their pulse was thumping on their touching chests, the body head felt faint on their wet and cold skin... and yet, the tongue that was parting her lips and entering her mouth was so hot that she thought it would burn her... The chief pulled (Y/n) into his embrace and turned his head to kiss her more deeply, and this continued until the girl was out of breath and rubbing his shoulder. 
──
Four days since the incident  
Tonowari didn’t say a word about it and just treated (Y/n) as usual. Instead, they stopped going to the beach where they used to go for walks, and at night, he left the marui and went to sleep somewhere else. 
In other words, he didn’t sleep in the same place as her. 
Likewise, (Y/n) didn’t say anything about the matter, but she would sometimes look at his face as if asking for an explanation. When that happened, he would first look away and then leave the place. 
The strange atmosphere was evident even to the Na’vis in the village, and the number of children asking what had happened to the Olo’eyktan increased. 
Since they both declared it was nothing, though... what could a third party say? They just worried a little among themselves and let it go. Regardless of whatever happened between their leader and the demon, time passed, and it was time for the Tulkun to return. The Tsuraks, Ilus, Na’vis and Tulkuns all gathered together was truly a spectacular sight. 
It was so frustrating and regrettable that she didn’t have a camera on her... (Y/n) went into the water to capture it all with both her eyes. And she also witnessed Tonowari going over to his spirit brother. The man kept moving his hands in front of the Tulkun, as if he had much to say. Meanwhile, (Y/n) stood alone observing everything. 
That night, the village held a small festival. 
It was a celebration due to the return of their spirit brothers and sisters and, naturally, a table of alcohol was prepared. She was sitting there, asking about the ingredients and thinking, “I can take this.” The Olo’eyktan and Tsahìk were at the top, and after a few words from Tonowari, everyone joined in and drank. 
(Y/n), who had completely melted into the village teacher, had a few drinks and her face turned gradually red and started hiccuping while the other Na’vi teased her. As Tonowari saw her living effortlessly in the village without him, his feelings became complicated. It wasn’t something that should have become complicated; it was a good thing, but he couldn’t understand why his heart was like that. 
Because of his compromised mind, the man kept drinking and got so drunk that anyone would worry of they saw him. Eventually, Tonowari nodded at the advice that it would be better to stop drinking and go inside to rest, and staggered slightly as he headed towards his marui. He would have normally gone somewhere else, but he was too drunk to consider that. 
Leaving behind all that noise, he entered and laid down in his usual space... He closed his eyes dizzily, but then he heard footsteps, so he looked up and when he blinked... he saw (Y/n)’s face, red from drunkenness. 
“Tonowari! I f- hic! finally see your face...” 
“...If it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll leave.” 
“Who says I’m uncomfortable?” 
And then, she sat down in front of him! 
Actually, he realized, she had even brought a bottle of alcohol with her; she finally started gulping it down. He thought he should stop her, so he tried to get up. 
“Why did you kiss me back then?” 
He stayed silent for a moment. “...I don’t know what you’re talking about. You seem very drunk, so I think it’s best if you go lie down now...” 
“Why did you kiss me?” 
“It’s late. You should-” 
“What, do you think I’m stupid? I laugh all the time, so it’s easy, right?” 
“...You have never been easy.” 
“I’m not easy, so you’ll just pretend like nothing happened? Is that what you do?” 
“...I’m sorry. I apologize. Because of my lack of virtue, I forced myself to do something that you didn’t want...” 
“When did I ever say I didn’t want it?” 
“...?” 
“Why do you think and decide on your own without even listening to me?” 
Tonowari felt as if his lips were drying up... He moistened them and bit them carefully. 
“...Then, what decision would you like to make?” 
(Y/n) stared at him for a moment, then walked closer and wrapped her arms around his neck as she dat on the floor. 
“Kiss me. Give it a try first and then decide.” 
[[[The following content will be updated separately as an explicit post]]]  
The next day, she woke to the sound of the morning waves as usual, suffering from a horrendous hangover. The girl tried getting up, but she felt like she had been hit to a breaking point and something was holding her tightly, so she couldn’t move. What was that? She opened her eyes and there were a pair of arms in front of her. 
Tonowari was hugging (Y/n) in her torn clothes. 
‘You’re crazy, (Y/n)! Crazy!! Because you had no one to sleep with, you laid with the Olo’eyktan...?!!! He’s not even a person. What should I do? Ah, I feel like I’m gonna die...'  
Memories of last night flashed before her eyes like a panorama... She barely managed to swallow her screams. 
‘But... strangely, I don’t regret it... It was a really odd sensation. It felt like the knot that needed to be tied was finally put together.’  
On the other hand... there was no door there, which meant the place gave up any kind of privacy; anyone could have seen them, so she groaned and tried to get out, but... her arms were too heavy, and she couldn’t move. (Y/n) struggled for a while but gave up after exhausting all her strength. Moreover, her whole body hurt like she’d been beaten, especially her lower half. If it had been that bad in one night... She would’ve died if they had been at it for longer. 
“...Excuse me? Tonowari? Hey...” The girl timidly patted Tonowari’s broad chest. A couple of times. Then several. She wondered how many times she ended up doing that. Her arms were starting to hurt, and at that moment, the man stirred. 
And his open eyes were met with (Y/n)’s on his arms. 
1... 2... 3... 
“...!!! I’m so sorry!!! I will be punished for my sins...!!!” 
“Shh! Shush...! The other Na’vis will hear us...!” 
“Uh, I apologize...” 
“Well... First if all, do you have anything to cover my body with? My clothes are all torn...” 
“...I apologize for that as well...” 
The woman placed the fabric that Tonowari gave her around her body like a wrap dress. And then the two were forced to face reality. 
The bite marks and handprints left all over her body... he wanted to die. 
Tonowari had never felt so small in his entire life. He had spent the night with a drunk and it didn’t even seem like he had been gentle. He managed to open his mouth with the determination he had left, unsure on what to say next. 
“No, I mean... I did it because I like you... but...” 
He raised his head. “Did you say, you did it because you like me?” 
“If I didn’t like you, I would have said no, wouldn’t I?” 
The Na’vi was just staring blankly at (Y/n), opening and closing his mouth several times. 
“Um... I guess... that makes us... lovers? Something like that?” 
As soon as she said those words, she felt Tonowari hugging her right away. 
“...Are you sure you want me?” 
“I don’t think that’s something you say when we’re hugging each other practically naked and have already had intercourse... I meant it.” 
“I shall be a good mate for you. Definitely...” 
“Okay, wait a minute, I can’t breathe...! I need air...!” 
After holding her tightly for a long time, (Y/n) was finally released. She was still held in his arms, although lighter this time. It seems the one who self-appointed as her new mate had no intention of letting go anytime soon. 
That was how Tonowari and her started dating... Of course, it was a secret relationship; (Y/n) had preferred it like that, because she didn’t know how the Na’vis of the village would react. 
“Hmm, hey... Tonowari?” 
“Yes, I’m listening.” 
“Other than my face... could you please look at this fish?” 
“If you want me to.” 
The children gasped and looked back and forth between the two. Was he planning on hiding this from the people or not? He was driving her crazy... One could imagine the answer knowing that instead of that fish’s gills, he was gazing at her honey-dripping eyes. 
“(Y/n)... with the Olo’eyktan... by any chance...” 
“Huh?! No, I’m not!” 
“I think you’re right...” 
“They’re so affectionate with each other, aren’t they? Hahaha...” 
“It’s not like that...” 
“Right, right...” 
Well, she let it slide for now. The kids left with such faces... She rubbed her throbbing forehead, but Tonowari came up to her and grabbed her hand, saying there were no children around anymore. 
‘Now he wants to hold hands?! I actually want to, but whenever I see him smiling and saying that it’s okay, I feel weak again... Then again, what do the kids know? Ha... it’s alright I guess.’  
──
The next day  
A certain Na’vi called out to (Y/n), saying she had something to tell her, so she followed after the sea woman. Did they know each other? No matter how much she looked into it, she was a villager that had never spoken to her before... and right now, she just stared at (Y/n) without saying anything, with red eyes. 
“What did you want to say to me?” 
“...The Olo’eyktan! What’s so good about a demon like you?!” 
Huh...? She looked up and tears were falling like raindrops from the woman’s eyes. The human girl felt flustered and tried to calm her down. “Oh, no, don’t cry...” 
“Just like you! You can’t hunt! You can’t even weave a net! What’s the point of being twice as tall as you are?” 
“No... please, stop crying.” 
While rummaging through her inventory, (Y/n) held out a piece of cloth she had knitted for practice and told her to wipe her tears. The nameless Na’vi that was crying continuously stared at her and then caught her hand with her own. 
“Make Tonowari happy! Otherwise, I won’t forgive you!” 
“That’s not... I...” 
“I will remember that!” 
“No...” 
And she disappeared, shedding tears... Leaving her behind with her mind echoing ‘When did it start to be rumored that we were dating?!’ 
But (Y/n)... She wouldn’t give up on their love affair. 
When there were just the two of them, Tonowari immediately picked her up, pressed their foreheads together, kissed her and whispered words of affection. However, he tried hard to remain cold from the outside, no matter how in love his eyes looked. 
As time progressed, he continued to stand close to her with his huge size, like a bear that got wet under the rain, unintentionally making it hard for them to pretend nothing was going on. 
“(Y/n)...” 
“Eh?” 
“Olo’eyktan, you should at least try to pretend...” 
“I’m sorry, I can’t assist you. I’m in a very important duty.” 
“You’re just standing there...” 
“It is called surveillance.” 
Tonowari looked at the children who were doing their best in their lessons while keeping blank faces. 
“(Y/n), I...” 
“I’m in class.” 
“Just a little bit...” 
“I told you, I’m in class.” 
Now, (Y/n) seemed to have forgotten that the other person was the Olo’eyktan. Tonowari raised his figurative eyebrow amusedly, but he stood there until the end of class. As soon as the kids started to leave, he quietly came and grabbed her hand. 
“No, they’re still outside.” 
“...Can’t I kiss you just once?” 
“I’ll kiss you when we get to the marui.” 
“Is it not possible right now?” 
She glared at him, feeling like she’d lost again, and stood on her tiptoes. “...Just one.” 
Tonowari bowed his head as if he’d been waiting for that moment and kissed her deeply. It was supposed to be a small one, but he intertwined their tongues, and before she knew it, she was receiving a sticky and lewd kiss from the hungry man. 
After it ended and they broke apart, (Y/n) wiped her mouth and said, “Don’t do this when we’re outside...”, but found a Na’vi with their mouth open behind Tonowari. 'Uh-oh.'
“...!!!! Oh no, it’s not what you think...!” 
“Mom! Moooom!!!” 
“No!!!!!!!” 
In the end, they abandoned their secret relationship that day. 
──
She was forced to give up on Tonowari by issuing a ‘restraining order’ against him. 
Even if it had to be revealed, she wanted to do it properly and by herself, but they had been caught kissing in an open space, so she was left in shame. (Y/n) felt like a dog, being told to stay at least ten steps away... Instead, it was Tonowari who chased after her like a fanboy. 
He followed her around so pitifully... No wonder the Na’vis of the village had found out about it. (They all knew from before; they just chose to ignore it.) 
“No! It’s different when you get caught at a crucial moment and get exposed!” 
“Well... we already knew...” 
“You could have at least pretended!” 
“It was too obvious...” 
Even after finishing her work for the day and going into the marui, (Y/n) sat away since the order had not been lifted. Tonowari’s ears drooped and he watched her closely... He couldn’t bring himself to get close, so he looked at her with a pouty expression, but she tried to ignore him. 
“(Y/n)...” 
“Are you going to ask me to hug you again? You know we can’t.” She tried to avoid his prying eyes. 
“It has already been three days...” 
“Can’t you even hold back for three days?” 
“Can you?” 
“...” 
“If I cannot control myself... can you?” 
“Not being able to control ourselves is the reason we ended up like this!” 
He did not give up. “Do you not... hate that it has come to this?” 
“...No, that’s not it...” 
“We confirmed out feelings for each other, so I can’t understand why we must stay apart...” 
The girl bit her lip, willing her spirit not to yield. 
“(Y/n), I...” 
“ Okay, to hell with it. Get over here.” 
“...!!!!” 
And Tonowari ran towards her like a puppy with its tail on fire and sat down right next to her. 
After leaning slightly on her small body and smiling happily, (Y/n) couldn’t help but smile as well. And fit into those big arms and be hugged. The man enjoyed her body temperature and smell for a long time, rubbing his face against it. They kept whispering to each other until the sunset spread into the night. 
From then on, Tonowari, who had been gifted with a big body, would not think twice before carrying the girl in his arms and walk around all day. He would take strolls around the village like that and would hide his face in embarrassment, thinking that other Na’vis might see them, but if there was no one around, he would sneak a kiss on (Y/n)’s temple. 
At such happy times, a happy smile could be seen on the man’s face. 
Even the shy (Y/n) would have no choice but to wrap her arms around his neck and lean on him with a tingling in her heart. If she did it correctly, she’d feel the strong arms and familiar shoulders, and the heartbeat on his chest. Even though they had been together for quite some time, she found it cute that his heart would still beat fast and loud. 
Every day, the couple walked along the beach holding hands or spent time with the young Na’vis, who were just starting to learn how to weave nets. When dusk approached, the girl ran to Tonowari, who would come to pick her up and hug her. She also ended up meeting his spirit brother. 
“The day the Tulkuns came back... what did you talk about?” 
“Perhaps I have found someone who I can love.” 
──
One day, as the two of them grew more in love day by day, Tonowari went out hunting with the village warriors, and (Y/n) was walking alone through the marui bridges. 
However, something wasn’t right... it wasn’t usually that noisy, so she looked around and went to the shore, where something familiar caught her eye. 
It was an Ikran. 
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Normal – Na'vi Italics – English
Vocabulary list: vrrtep (demon), olo’eyktan (clan leader), tsahìk (head shaman, high priest, interpreter), tìftiatu (researcher), marui (pods built in the giant mangrove-like trees alongside the shores and are protected from crashing waves by giant reef barriers), tarnioang (predator), tsaheylu (bond, neural connection), pxazang (akula), tsurak (skimwing), ikran (mountain banshee)
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sleekervae · 9 months ago
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New York Romantic .6
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Masterlist
a/n: Hi everyone, thanks again for your patience! This chapter is a little shorter and there's not as much dialogue as there is a lot of dancing. I had a lot of fun researching some of the dances for the Nutcracker ballet, and while I hoped to have this chapter up by Christmas, March 1st isn't so bad either 😅
pairing: Tom Blyth x ballerina!oc
summary: tom attends noelle's recital
word count: 2,759
taglist: @watercolorskyy @carolanns-world @alana4610
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Tom wasn't so sure how he found himself sitting across from Noelle's family at a local breakfast eatery, somewhere along his morning Franca had insisted that he come along. And it went without saying that he was grateful for the meal, it had been a while since Tom had the privilege of eating out while on his student budget.
Maurice was an investment banker who worked for a smaller banking branch in Maine, tall with a shiny bald head, a seasoned gentleman of respectable stature with deep smile lines and wise eyes. Meanwhile Franca was an architect, a lavish yet simply dressed woman with long auburn hair, and freckles were scattered across her cheeks and nose. Chiara was a couple years younger then Noelle, her curly hair was much more reminiscent of her mother's but it was easy to draw facial comparisons between the cousins. She was a senior at some fancy private school, and whatever was on her phone proved to be much more interesting then conversation with the table crowd.
"So, Tom," Maurice looked to him as he stirred his tea, "Have you always wanted to get into show business?" he asked.
"Not at first," Tom replied, "I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do at first, but my mum signed me up for some drama classes and my father worked in the film industry, so it all just kind of fell into place,"
"And where'd you grow up in England?" Franca asked, resting her chin on her locked fingers.
"York,"
"Oh, lovely! It's just North of Leeds, yes?"
"That's right,"
"Maurice and I were debating where to go for our fifteenth wedding anniversary, and I've heard such lovely things about that town," she said, "Alas, we settled on Marseilles and toured a bit through Southern France,"
"That sounds beautiful!" Tom awed, glancing Noelle's way, "Did you go, too?"
Noelle shook her head, "Nope, Chiara and I were manning the house for two weeks," she replied.
"It was so peaceful," Chiara added, her gaze still fixed on her phone. Maurice cleared his throat abruptly, staring down his daughter as she swiftly got the hint and put her phone away.
"Anyway," he then grumbled, "What do you want to do when you graduate, Tom? Theatre? Movies?"
"Movies, ideally. But I'd be open to wherever the wind blows me," he replied.
"I went to see his improv show last week," Noelle said, "He was really good!"
Tom shrugged, praying his cheeks wouldn't tinge, "I -- I mean I was okay..."
Noelle cocked her head down, giving him a playful glare, "Oh, c'mon. You were great. And I say so, so it must be true," she grinned. He couldn't help it then, Tom averted his gaze to his plate but nonetheless he was blushing.
Chiara scoffed under her breath, "You two are just adorable," she muttered sarcastically.
Tom watched Noelle roll her eyes, never the less her fingers fidgeted as she went to pick up her coffee cup. A sip of something to quell his dry throat sounded like a good idea, a pleasant cooling off before Tom could find himself swept up in the memory of that kiss yet again.
"Anyway," Franca cut in, "How's Bianca doing, Noelle?"
"Good!" Noelle nodded quickly, thankful the spotlight was off her for the moment, "She made it Maine just before the snow storm hit,"
"Is she gonna be back in time for the showcase?" Chiara asked.
"She's supposed to be back the morning of,"
Tom raised a brow, "Why didn't she leave after the showcase?" he asked.
Noelle shrugged listlessly, "She likes Christmas in Manhattan better,"
"-- Is Derek gonna come down?" Chiara asked, her interest seemingly peaking more than it had all morning. Derek was Bianca's older brother, as Noelle had told previously.
"I guess we'll find out," Noelle replied.
Maurice's gaze narrowed, "And if he were, what would you have in common with a twenty-six-year-old college drop out, anyway?" he asked gruffly.
Franca swiftly elbowed her husband, an urgent smile plastered to her lips as she stared him down pointedly, "Perhaps we can find something more relevant to talk about?" she suggested, turning back to Tom, "Have you been to any of the ballet recitals, Tom?"
Tom shook his head, "I haven't yet. This will be my first," he replied.
"We're so excited to see it. This will be Noelle's first big part in a production," she beamed.
Maurice nodded along, cutting into his egg-white omelette, "She's our little Sugar Plum Fairy!" he awed. None of them paid attention to Chiara's eye-roll.
Noelle grimaced, a bashful grin befalling her as Tom turned to her, "You didn't tell me that," he said.
She shrugged back sheepishly, "... Oh... didn't I?" she chuckled.
"No, you did not," he drawled back, "That's fantastic!"
"Well -- I still have a lot of practice to do before Friday, so we'll see," Noelle didn't like drawing too much attention to herself in that rhetoric. She was grateful for the opportunity, though nevertheless she knew the recital wasn't all about her.
"Are you gonna do her makeup, Chiara?" Franca asked her daughter.
Chiara shrugged back, glancing at her cousin, "Do you want me to do your makeup?"
"Of course I do!" Noelle nodded, "I'm no where near as good as you,"
"Alright, sure then," Chiara barely got the words out as she turned to her phone once again.
Maurice took the conversation again, folding his hands before his plate and twitching his nose, "Tom, why don't you join us on Wednesday? We reserved a box for four,"
"It'll be a great view of the stage," Franca added.
Tom was flattered, though he didn't want to impose, "Oh, I don't -- I don't want to intrude on you guys like that,"
Franca shook her head, "Please, it's not intruding if we invite you -- that's what my mother always used to say, anyhow," she chuckled.
"Have you bought your ticket?" Maurice asked.
"Yes," Tom replied.
"Well then, you're already set up," he told him, "I insist, and we can head out for dinner after,"
Tom turned to Noelle, her smile was bordering on confident, but she hoped that he wouldn't feel too pressured. After all, she knew her family could be a bit much and they had all only just met. But he didn't see the harm; her family was so nice and the view of the stage was promised to be excellent. And if it meant having a better view of Noelle, who was he to pass that up?
"Alright, if you're sure I'll be happy join you," he decided.
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Friday was the twenty-third, and despite Christmas Day being just around the corner, the hustle and bustle of New York never stopped. Neither did the cold. It hadn't snowed again but the nefarious east coast arctic fronts swept through the streets; icicles were formed off of passing trucks and the sidewalks and roads were awash in various colours of crushed melting salts. And the cold certainly didn't deter eager shoppers to tick off last minute Christmas gifts from their lists.
Tom wasn't sure what he was supposed to wear to a ballet recital, he didn't want to overdress but he certainly didn't want to look sloppy either. His mum had shipped over some more clothes a couple weeks prior, nicer slacks, dress shirts, a couple pairs of shoes that definitely weren't ice-friendly. Nevertheless, he settled for a white t-shirt and blazer jacket sat over some dark jeans, and his trainers that at least wouldn't send him skidding with one wrong move.
The last few days had flown by rather quickly, and surprisingly, Tom always found that he had something to do. Usually hanging out with Jordan; he introduced Tom to a plethora of video games ranging from Super Mario to Zelda. It was one of the few things Tom found Jordan didn't complain about. And when they weren't inside playing video games, they were out exploring Times Square.
And this worked out quite well because when Noelle wasn't spending time with her family, she was always rehearsing. But in the evenings they would spend time together, watch more movies and just relax. Tom was practicing his cooking skills as well, nothing too fancy but he perfected how to cook salmon in a pan and boiling rice. Noelle was grateful too, especially as her muscles ached from her practice. The more time they spent together, the more fascinated they became with each other.
The campus was typically closed for the holidays, making exceptions for shows such as this. Audience members were lined up just outside the auditorium door, shielded from the cold within campus but still bundled up in long or heavy coats, scarves and hats.
Tom found Noelle's family already settled in their balcony seats, Franca spotted him first and waved him down. And just as Maurice had said, there was an excellent view of the stage from their spot. The heavy red curtain was drawn over the stage, dim mood light reflecting off the material and back on the shadowy faces mingling in the crowd.
Backstage meanwhile was a calamity mess, stage hands rushing to finish prop placement, sets, and stage cues. The ballerinas were also making their last minute touch ups, makeup, hair, tutus, dusting their slippers in rosin and some even sewing their tights and ribbons to their slippers to keep everything snug and in place. Noelle however was dawdling behind the curtain, peaking out through the sliver at the side to skim over obscure faces.
It was a delicate balance, trying to locate her family without being too conspicuous, but after a bit of searching, she spotted them. Chiara was engrossed in her phone, bathed in the soft glow of the screen, while Uncle Maurice struggled to free himself from his coat. Aunt Franca was deep in conversation with Tom, who, despite the dim lighting, seemed to blend into the shadows effortlessly, though he appeared to be holding his own in their lively discussion. Noelle's stomach was aflutter, not from the performance unfolding before her, but from the sight of Tom. Her attention was fixed on him, and the magic of the evening's entertainment paled in comparison.
"Noelle!" Stanis' voice bellowed behind her, he was storming her way as Noelle turned, "Pre-show in two minutes!"
Tom found Franca fascinating. She was a captivating woman, full of vibrant tales from her travels to exotic locales. Her stories were peppered with encounters with intriguing characters from whom she had negotiated for unique souvenirs to add to her collection. Nevertheless, Tom's anticipation grew as he eagerly awaited the start of the show. His eyes couldn't help but flicker towards the curtain, eager to catch a glimpse of Noelle as the curtain would lift. His curiosity and excitement were palpable, adding to the charged atmosphere of the evening.
And sure enough the lights dimmed down to near darkness, a single spotlight illuminating a spot on the curtains. The theater was alive with excitement as the curtains rose, revealing a beautifully adorned stage set for "The Nutcracker" ballet. Tom sat back in his seat, his eyes wide with anticipation, taking in the magical scene unfolding before him. The stage was transformed into a winter wonderland, with a backdrop of snow-covered trees that stretched up to a starry sky. The stage was lit with a soft, moonlit glow, casting a magical aura over the scene. Glittering snowflakes fell gently from above, adding to the enchantment of the setting. The dancers moved gracefully across the stage, each step perfectly choreographed to Tchaikovsky's enchanting music.
The Miniature March Dance began, and the stage came alive with the lively and charming movements of the young dancers. They moved with precision and grace, their movements synchronized to the playful notes of the music. The choreography was intricate, with the dancers forming intricate formations and patterns, showcasing their skill and talent. Tom was captivated by the youthful exuberance of the performers, as were the audience, and the dance brought a smile to everyone's face.
As the performance unfolded, Tom found his eyes repeatedly drawn to Noelle, who gracefully moved among the dancers. Clad in a celestial white gown, she seemed to float across the stage, her every movement a dance of ethereal beauty. While she was currently a background presence in the performance, Tom couldn't help but be mesmerized by her presence, captivated by her effortless grace and enchanting allure.
Next came the Arabian Dance, and Bianca took centre stage. A hush fell over the audience. She was a vision of grace and lithe elegance, moving with a captivating fluidity that mesmerized all who watched. Her every movement was deliberate and confident, exuding a subtle but undeniable aura of cockiness.
Bianca's performance was a masterclass in control and precision, her movements perfectly synchronized to the haunting melody of the music. As she danced, she seemed to command the stage, drawing the audience into her world with a confident allure that was impossible to ignore. The Arabian Dance was no easy feat and Tom had to give Bianca credit where credit was due, however he couldn't help but feel slightly unnerved as her gaze always seemed to land on him time and time again.
Soon enough it was Noelle's time to shine. As the familiar notes of the Sugar Plum Fairy dance began to fill the theatre, Tom's gaze was immediately drawn to Noelle, who had taken centre stage. She looked radiant in her tutu, rose gold detailing shimmering in the lights, her gorgeous long hair tied back in a sleek up-do, and a delicate, shiny tiara placed upon her head. She looked like a true princess, her every movement a testament to her skill and grace. Despite the beauty of the dance unfolding before him, Tom found it impossible to tear his eyes away from Noelle, his admiration for her growing with each passing moment.
Noelle, for her part, felt a mixture of nerves and excitement as she danced. She had dreamed of this moment for years, to prove herself worthy of the role of the Sugar Plum Fairy, and now that it was finally here, she couldn't help but feel a surge of nervous excitement. However, as she danced, it wasn't the perfection of her performance that consumed her thoughts, but the way her stomach fluttered with butterflies every time she caught Tom's gaze. It was a feeling unlike any other, a mix of joy, nerves, and she could see the admiration and affection in his gaze, which both thrilled and humbled her.
As the dance reached its climax, Tom found himself holding his breath, completely captivated by Noelle's performance. She danced with a grace and elegance that took his breath away, her every movement a testament to her talent and dedication. He couldn't help but think back to the moments he had seen her exhausted, bruised, and drained after long hours of practice. He could only imagine the dedication and hard work she had put in to reach this point, and it filled him with a deep sense of admiration for her. All those late nights and early mornings had led to this moment, and as he watched her graceful movements across the stage, he felt a swell of pride knowing that he had witnessed a small part of her journey to this incredible achievement. He swore he could've watched her -- become lost in her -- forever.
As the final notes of the dance faded away and Noelle took her bow, the audience erupted into applause, but Tom's eyes never left Noelle, his adoration for her greater than ever. She glanced up briefly, trying desperately not to become so overwhelmed with the applause, and her gaze fixating on Tom once more. His beaming smile was all the validation she needed in that moment.
The show progressed on, right up until the final Pas de Deux between the Sugar Plum Fairy and the Nutcracker. Tom watched among the crowd, his heart racing with a realization that took him by surprise. In that moment, he couldn't deny the truth to himself any longer. Watching her dance, he had felt something more than admiration or friendship. It was a crush, a flutter of emotions that he had been trying to ignore but now couldn't deny. Tom realized that he had developed feelings for Noelle, captivated by her everything. And if the previous few days had been anything to go by, there was a slim chance that she too felt the same way.
If only his own uncertainty wouldn't hold him back.
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space-mermaid-writing · 6 months ago
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You cat stephen fic was perfect!💘
I was wondering If you could write a cat tony fic where stephen accidentaly casts a spell on him cuz he was being annoying😅
I did my best to write a cat!Tony story that lives up the cat!Stephen fic. I hope you like it 🐈 (As so often, this got way longer than planned; and that's also why you had to wait so long for this...) Beta by KJ :)
Summary: Stephen looked at the pile of clothes from which a very clearly not amused cat looked back. “Well, shit
”
Tags: cat!Tony, magical shenanigans, panic attack, normal cat behavior, fluff, fun, bordering on crack, don’t take this too seriously, just the regular everyday weirdness of magic man and engineer guy
Ko-fi | Masterlist | Cat!Stephen | Read it on AO3 | Word count: 5.4k
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Cat for a day
Stephen looked at the pile of clothes from which a very clearly not amused cat looked back.
“Well, shit
”
His previous anger was forgotten, replaced by mild annoyance,  as always when Tony touched something he wasn’t supposed to touch.
Well, he hadn’t touched the relic per se. Not with his hands anyway. But something in his aura – or Vishanti knew what – had triggered the relic and activated it mid-argument.
It hadn’t been anything important they had been arguing about, merely another technicality. Sometimes Stephen wondered why Tony bothered coming over into the Sanctum he loved to criticize the interior of; when they almost always ended up arguing about something.
It might have something to do with the fact that they were dating; which was a recent development. Tony could always change his mind
 until then Stephen would happily welcome him into the Sanctum.
Anyway, that wasn’t the point here. The point was that Tony was now standing on four legs instead of two. And he was way more furry than he should be.
Stephen did this thing where he raised his brow totally unimpressed. “That’s what you get for touching stuff you shouldn’t,” he said in his best ‘I told you so’-voice.
The cat huffed and the noise he made sounded rather hoarse; as he had yet to figure how to use his new voice. The intent of his words was clear though. At least to the sorcerer.
“Well, you did something to that globe, because I didn’t use magic and I’m pretty sure you didn’t spontaneously develop a shapeshifting talent in the past five minutes.”
The cat climbed out of the pile of fabric. More noises came out of that tiny mouth. Stephen had no idea what he said but it sounded a lot like complaining. He waited until Tony was done and stared up at him, expectantly.
Only then did Stephen move his hands for a spell. “Stand still while I get you back. And don’t yell at me when you find out you are naked. None of this is my fault.”
He performed a simple counter spell; it was standard procedure really.
It did nothing.
Stephen tried two other spells – Tony remained a cat.
Something wasn’t right here and for the first time, the sorcerer felt uneasy. Turning Tony back shouldn’t be this complicated. He didn’t like to not know what was going on.
“I need to do some research,” he hesitantly admitted.
His words seemed to trigger something in the feline. Tony suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe. His chest was too tight, and everything around him too big. His little body tensed and a weird noise escaped him, some kind of wheezing from deep within his lung.
“Tony.”
The cat didn’t seem to hear him. He was shaking and looked like he was five seconds away from running off. Stephen's hand gently grabbed the feline’s neck – right at the spot where a mother carried their kittens – and he applied soft pressure.
Tony had never been a kitten, but he stilled anyway.
“Deep breaths, Tony. In
and out
 in
”
The cat slowly but visibly relaxed. He was still not making a move, but his eyes were more present; not as clouded as they had been moments before.
“You with me?” Stephen asked and got a small meow in return. He let go of Tony tentatively. The cat remained pressed to the floor for a second. Then he sat up, the shaking not yet completely gone, and looked around as if embarrassed by the panic attack.
There was no one around; they were all alone.
“Let’s go to the library.” The cat nodded, then yelped when he got scooped up into Stephen's arms. “I got you,” the sorcerer soothed him.
He was careful not to touch Tony’s chest since he was pretty confident that this weak spot had been transferred to the new body.
Tony was smart enough not to wriggle. Instead, he snuggled into his arms.
Tony was actually quite a cute cat; a brown and black tabby. Funnily enough, his facial hair had been translated into the fur pattern.
Stephen turned to walk away, but then remembered something: he shouldn't keep clothes lying around randomly in the relic room. With a flick of his hand, he teleported them ahead into the library.
He himself took the path on foot so as not to expose Tony to any more magic.
Besides, it wasn't far.
Once in the library, he set Tony down next to his clothes on a couch. "I need to get some books. Make yourself comfortable. It won't take long."
He disappeared between the shelves.
Tony looked after him. Another wave of panic rose briefly, but he quickly swallowed it down.
It was fine, he told himself. Stephen would fix this.
He decided to simply not think about the fact that magic had affected his body without Tony’s consent. His mind was still the same; it was only just his body that had changed.
He let out a frustrated noise, that sounded very much like a growl.
Oh yeah, and he couldn’t talk anymore. At least not with his normal voice. Stephen seemed to understand the sentiment well enough though.
That reminded Tony of something and he searched for his phone in the pocket of his pants.
It was difficult to pull out the device if you had no thumbs. Or any fingers at all. But after a few slippery attempts, he finally managed it.
And was immediately facing the next daunting task: using the touch screen.
It took him a while to figure out that his nose worked quite okay with the tech. Tony opened the app for writing notes – he had never used it before. Normally he talked to Jarvis. That was way faster and Jarvis knew how to filter his waterfall of words.
Now writing with his nose one letter at a time was frustratingly slow. Jarvis had been alerted when Tony unlocked the phone, but probably kept his quiet to wait for what happened because he couldn't identify Tony's voice nor his fingerprints.
Tony was halfway through his explanation when the A.I. finally spoke up. “Sir, am I right in assuming that you got turned into a cat but you are still able to understand English?”
The cat looked into the camera and nodded. “Meow.”
“I need you to confirm your identity,” Jarvis nevertheless demanded the safety measure that Tony had introduced to him.
The cat typed the combination of numbers and letters into his phone. They vanished as soon as he finished.
“Identity confirmed. Do you require medical attention, Sir?”
Tony denied it and told Jarvis to put his calendar on hold for the day until his situation got sorted out.
It was inconvenient to spell everything out, but this was his only way to communicate at the moment.
By then Stephen was back with his pile of books. He noticed the cat's head peeking over the back of the couch.
“You alright there, Tony?”
“Meow?”
He took that as a ‘yes’ and sat down to open the first book.
Tony curled up but soon enough he was bored. For one, he wasn’t in the mood to relax. Plus, he had never been one for idly sitting around; not as a human being, and not as a cat either.
He stretched; first his front, then his back legs. He then yawned widely.
His new body felt more agile. Lighter. His chest still hurt, as well as his left front leg. His shoulder had never fully healed.
Nevertheless, he had no trouble jumping off the couch silently. His tail flicked.
Everything seemed taller; the furniture, the ceiling. Tony had to crane his neck up; and decided immediately that he wasn’t a fan of this fact.
If Stephen noticed he left his place, he didn’t react and Tony took that as an invitation to leave the library in order to find food. Getting accidentally transformed had kicked up his appetite and he felt hungry. Purposeful small steps led him to the kitchen. Fortunately, he had no problem operating on four legs instead of the usual two.
On his way downstairs he heard a noise and his ears perked up. The Cloak of Levitation hovered at the top of the stairs. It had no face but its collar was tilted, watching the feline with curiosity.
“Mrew.”
The cloak flew down to him to prod the cat, who tried to evade it. Tony made a disgruntled sound and fended off the fabric with his paw.
He had already noticed from Stephen’s interactions that the Cloak of Levitation showed little understanding for personal space. And apparently, it wasn’t yet quite sure what to make of this cat. If it even recognized him as Tony or perhaps thought this was a new pet.
Tony continued on his way, with the cloak following him. Tony glanced over his shoulder at it but didn’t object.
In the kitchen, he faced a new challenge: doors. More specifically, cabinet doors.
Tony jumped onto the counter and tried to get into the upper cabinet that he knew stored toast. He had to stand on his hind legs, and reach up with his whole body to try and open the cabinet door.
It turned out to be rather difficult.
He barely kept his balance  and pushed his paw into the narrow gap to swing the door open. It opened a little – and fell back close immediately.
The cat huffed in annoyance.
His gaze fell on the coffee maker. He needed one of those drinks. However, the mugs were also stored in one of the upper kitchen cupboards.So he was back to the same problem there.
Suddenly he understood why cats liked to push things off counters. He was very tempted to do the same with a nearby vase; out of sheer frustration.
That was when the cloak – which so far had simply watched him; or whatever it was that it did, hovering in the middle of the room – came over to him and opened the cabinet Tony had failed to pry open.
The cat meowed a thanks.
Now, jumping up into the upper cabinets was complicated by the fact that the compartments down low were fully packed. Tony stood on his hind legs and stretched up again to analyze his options; but before he could even try to start something, the cloak had taken out the bag of toast and set it down next to Tony.
That gave Tony an idea and sure enough, after some trial and error in communication, Tony had a decent sandwich and coffee in front of him shortly afterwards.
Tony took back any quip he ever threw at the cloak; that thing was a saint.
He ate his sandwich with relish. The texture felt weird in his tiny mouth. It wasn’t really made for this kind of food. But it tasted passable enough that he wasn't bothered by it.
The Cloak of Levitation stayed at his side, fascinatedly studying him. With a corner of its fabric it petted the cat’s head, and this time Tony let it happen; only his ears flicked, irritated more by the gesture than the actual action.
He heard voices approaching. It was a conversation between two sorcerers who entered the kitchen and Tony looked up. He did know apprentices came to the Sanctum for their studies or to do whatever it was magic people did around here – so he wasn’t alarmed when he didn’t recognize their faces.
They, on the other hand, stopped right in their tracks when they saw a feline on the counter right in the middle of what seemed to be the Sorcerer Supreme’s lunch snack: open packets of cheese and ham, a glass of pickles and toast and butter.
The butter knife didn’t quite make it to the sink but was lying on the edge of the sink, turned so that the blade reached dangerously far over the edge of the counter and threatened to fall off at any moment.
They were also pretty sure coffee wasn’t supposed to be served in a cereal bowl.
Hovering next to all the chaos was the Cloak of Levitation, who did nothing to prevent the cat from eating food that wasn’t for felines.
“Hey!” One of the sorcerers shouted sharply, and that triggered something in Tony’s cat brain.
He froze for a second. Then he took what was left of the sandwich in his mouth and bolted. He jumped on the floor and zipped right through the sorcerer’s feet. They tried to catch him but Tony was way faster, dodging their grip.
He ran down the hallway and through an ajar door. The room was unoccupied by people; Tony went under the couch anyway. Only then did he stop and catch his breath.
His little heart was beating fast in his chest. It was a strange feeling: it hadn't been fear that had made him leave the kitchen. However, it still felt like a fight-or-flight reaction. He didn’t want anyone to come between him and his food.
It was very atypical of him – but then again, it was a weird day. So Tony let it slide.
He peaked from under the couch and found that no one had followed him. Not even the cloak, which was – honestly – a bummer. It had been very useful.
Tony turned around to continue his meal when he noticed a pair of eyes in the darkness back under the couch.
They glowed yellowish with an eerie intensity, piercing through the darkness. Focused on Tony they seemed to follow his every movement, every breath, every heartbeat. And they were way too large for any creature to fit under here.
The shadows clung to it like a shroud, an inky blackness that seemed to devour the faint light falling under the couch.
This wasn’t natural.
The hairs on the back of Tony's neck stood up and his instinct yelled: danger! He held back a hiss, but was ready to bunk off at the slightest sign of an attack.
The eyes didn’t come closer. They did glance at the rest of the sandwich though.
Cautiously, Tony stepped to the sandwich, not taking his eyes off whatever it was that lurked in the shadows. He pulled the top part of the bread off and pushed it towards the creature; the yellow eyes watching the movement. Then it opened its mouth and for a moment Tony saw sharp teeth and a long tongue.
Then the bread was gone and Tony heard a satisfied noise. The yellow eyes close and don’t open again. They were gone.
The shadows were still present.
Tony took the leftover sandwich and moved out from under the couch back into the light. The feeling of imminent danger was gone but he wasn’t taking any chances.
_______________________
It was already dark outside when Stephen leaned back and rolled his neck and shoulders. The research had taken him longer than anticipated, mostly because he was diligent and thorough.
“Tony,” he called over to the couch.
He got no reaction.
Maybe he had fallen asleep. Yet, when Stephen thought about it, he had never seen Tony be quiet for so long. Normally he was always talking, mumbling to himself, and sharing his thoughts half-aloud.
The sorcerer stood up and stepped around the couch. He saw the reason why it was so peaceful: the couch was empty; there was no cat in sight.
Stephen looked around. “Tony?”
Still, no answer.
“I swear to the Vishanti, if he walked through the wrong door and fell into a black hole, I will call pest control to get him out.”
He left the library and reached out mentally to the Sanctum to figure out where Tony was. He felt several presences in the building – not surprising, as apprentices often studied here. But all of them were gathered in groups; he couldn’t make out a single figure alone.
Worry spread through Stephen and he set off to search for Tony.
“Tony?”
_______________________
“Meow mreew.” [“Anyway, it has a base plate of pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing in such a way that the two spurving bearings were in a direct line with the panametric fan.”]
Tony elegantly dodged the hand that wanted to pet him. He didn’t want to be touched by someone he barely knew for an hour.
“I’m pretty sure it’s from another dimension,” one of the apprentices said about the cat that they had found in the Sanctum. “Maybe it came with Master Reese. He recently went to Ektra’vall. This cat is way too smart to be a regular feline.”
Tony turned his head towards the young man, who stared at him.
“He just winked at me!”
Tony laughed, which came out as some weird purring noise.
He had found this group of young wizards and their books in one of the study rooms. They probably should be doing some homework or whatever task they had been assigned. But as soon as they spotted the unfamiliar cat they had coaxed it onto the table.
Tony liked the attention, thrived under it even. He had lectured them about turbo encabulators; not that they understood a word he meowed. Still, they were delighted by the chatty cat and talked to him. The result was two different conversations going on.
At one point, one of the apprentices conjured a packet of string cheese out of thin air and fed it to the cat. Tony was pretty sure that Wong would get an aneurysm if he saw the food right next to the ancient-looking books – but that wasn’t Tony’s problem.
He was just a cat. It was liberating. There was no pressure; nobody knew it was him. There weren’t any expectations.
Tony humored the wizard kid who used a pen as bait for him to play. He pounced at the end of the pen with his paw. Being a cat helped his mind to stop running a mile a minute.
His ears perked up when he heard the door open and he spotted a speck of blue. Oh, this was going to be fun.
“Shouldn’t you work on your evocation studies?”
The apprentices hadn’t noticed the Sorcerer Supreme approaching and his voice caught them by surprise. They winced and turned towards him to bow respectfully.
“We are working on it,” the boy that had fed Tony pointed at the scripts. It didn’t help their case that a) he still had the string cheese in his hands and b) the tabby cat was sitting on one of the books, washing its face by licking its paw and preening his face.
The feline seemed unperturbed, like a regular cat. But Tony couldn’t fool Stephen.
“Really?” Stephen raised his eyebrow. “Because it rather looks like you all got distracted by Tony.”
The apprentices exchanged glances, throwing their attention at that piece of information.
“The cat’s name is Tony?”
“Is that short for Plutonium?”
“Will he stay longer at the Sanctum?”
They were all talking excitedly to each other.
Stephen tilted his head. His eyes met Tony’s, who looked way too smug. He was clearly enjoying the situation. Well, at least one of them had fun.
“The cat will not stay. Go back to your studies. I expect them by tonight.”
“Master Doctor Strange, it is already night.”
Huh, Stephen hadn’t noticed.
“Then you better hurry up. Tony, come with me. I have a few spells for you.”
Tony yawned before jumping off the table to follow the sorcerer, while one of the apprentices gasped quietly. “Dude, Plutonium is totally the Sorcerer Supreme’s new familiar pet.”
Tony turned back to him and made a displeased sound. He was no pet of anyone.
Holding his head and tail high, he walked at Stephen’s side. The tall sorcerer made big steps and Tony had to hurry to keep up.
He didn’t like that.
From this new perspective, Stephen was freakishly tall.
“Good to see you’re still a menace bothering people.” There was a smile on Stephen’s lips.
“Mrew miaow.” [“It’s called being bored. It’s not like there’s anything better to do around here.”]
Back in the library, the pile of books on Stephen's desk seemed to have grown even more. Tony jumped onto it. An easy task; he had perfect control of his body by now.
From the higher ground, he looked expectantly at the sorcerer.
“I did some research on the relic. Although it is stored in the Sanctum Sanctorum, it is occasionally used for teaching purposes in Kamar-Taj to demonstrate the fusion of different types of magic from several dimensions. Therefore it’s not surprising that it showed unprompted activity 
 anyway, you should be back to normal in no time.”
Stephen called upon his magic and used it to draw glowing lines into the air. It was a delicate pattern that formed into a sphere. When it was finished, Stephen let it fly over the cat and with a snap of his fingers it burst into golden sparks that rained down onto the feline.
Tony looked at it in awe. It was beautiful. He lifted his paw to catch a sparkle. It felt cool and melted into his fur, like a snowflake.
He still was a cat afterwards. Judging by Stephen's face, this was not the desired result. He looked distraught and tired. But it was gone in a second; then the determination was back.
“Maybe if I adjust the parameter.” The sorcerer reopened a book. “When you consider the magical volume... and that the relic may have stored traces of extradimensional magic
" Stephen mumbled further explanations to himself.
Tony didn’t even understand half of it. He watched and waited.
Stephen tried a new spell. And then another.
Sighing, he dropped into the chair and ran his hand through his hair, avoiding looking at the cat.
“I’m so sorry,” he murmured. He wasn’t used to failure. “I will fix this. I promise.”
The ball of fur jumped onto his lap, letting out a high-pitched “Chirrup” to get his attention. Warm feline eyes met Stephen’s.
The sorcerer raised his hand to Tony and the cat headbutted it, prompting him to scratch the cat behind his ears. Contented, Tony leaned into the touch. He was purring soothingly as if he wanted to reassure Stephen everything was fine.
The sorcerer would have smiled at that sight if he wasn't so worried and disappointed in himself. He couldn’t let Tony down.
“I will go over everything one more time. Maybe I missed something.” That would be a first. Stephen was very accurate regarding research. He turned back to the books. Tony stayed on his lap, curled up.
_______________________
Stephen browsed every single script on the table but couldn’t find any mistakes. One of the spells should have worked.
He concluded that he needed more books. The answer was somewhere in the library. It always was.
Stephen stifled a yawn. Hours spent pouring over dense volumes had taken their toll, leaving his mind heavy and his eyes strained. His concentration had waned, and the words on the page blurred before his weary gaze.
But he had to pull through, for Tony’s sake.
Tony wasn’t a fan of magic. Understandably so. He had told Stephen about his encounter with the witch. Or at least parts of it.
Stephen was pretty sure he had downplayed it. From what he had heard, Stephen was still furious about the violation. What the witch had done to Tony was basically torture.
Tony only tolerated some magic because he liked Stephen. They took their relationship slow, step by step.
But now Stephen had screwed up and he wouldn’t be surprised if Tony hated him after this. Or at least wanted to take a break from the sorcerer and magic in general.
Stephen's eyes were unfocused in the distance, his thoughts drifting off. He didn’t realize it until something gently touched his beard.
When he looked down, he noticed Tony was watching him.
“Sorry,” Stephen muttered. “Go back to sleep.” He rolled his shoulders. The tension from the responsibility had settled in a knot between his shoulder blades that ached intensely. But it was no use; he had to pull himself together.
Tony tilted his head and then – as he came to a decision – he shook it. “Meow.”
“Not yet. But I’ll find the right spell.”
Apparently, that was not what Tony meant. He jumped off his lap and pawed at Stephen’s pants, motioning him to follow, meowing loudly.
"What is it?" Alarmed by the cat's sudden stubbornness, he followed him to the couch, where the engineer's clothes were still lying.
The cat hopped onto the cushions and patted them with his paw.
Stephen frowned, not sure if he understood correctly. “You want me to sit on it?”
“Mrew.”
“Why?”
Tony just stared at him and waited.
Stephen was too tired to argue and with a sigh he gave in. Tony was back in his lap as soon as the sorcerer sat down. He circled once to find a good spot before he moved into a perfect loaf, purring again.
Stephen petted the soft fur. “Now what?” he asked.
Tony blinked up at him with one eye.
“You want me to take a break?”
“Brrep.”
Stephen sighed again – this time because his body relaxed a bit. “Fine. Five minutes.”
It didn’t take a whole five minutes until the sorcerer's breathing became deep and even. His fingers moved slower and slower in Tony's fur until they finally stopped altogether; Stephen had fallen asleep.
Happy with that result, Tony closed his eyes as well.
_______________________
There was a noise on the other side of the couch that alerted Tony. He hadn’t heard anyone come in and decided to investigate.
He climbed onto the armrest and stared at the table Stephen had occupied. What he saw should have surprised him, but somehow it didn’t.
A ghost version of Stephen hovered in the air – cross-legged - browsing the books. The books seemed to be regular books and not ghost books; at least they weren’t transparent.
Ghost-Stephen turned a page and that had to be the noise that Tony had heard.
Tony knew about astral projecting; he had seen it before when Stephen's body looked like he had fallen asleep meditating. But he had never caught a glimpse of the sorcerer’s astral ghost version.
“Mreewp.” [“You know that’s called cheating.”]
Ghost-Stephen looked up, surprised, when he saw that Tony was addressing him. “You can see me?”
“Mroow.” [“I’m looking at you, ain’t I?”]
“Huh.” Stephen put his book down and floated over to the feline. “That’s interesting. We assumed cats to be able to perceive several planes, but we never had proof.”
“Groow mrem.” [“That’s great for you. Can we go back and focus on the problem at hand: getting me back?”]
“Yes, pardon.”
“Thank you, I-
” Tony stopped mid-sentence, staring at Stephen in that weird non-blinking way. “You understand what I’m saying?”
Stephen paused as well, realizing that – yes, he did. “It appears so. It must be because I’m currently in the astral dimension.”
“You mean ghost town?” Unimpressed, Tony jumped onto the floor and then walked over to the table with the books. There he first got on the chair and then onto the table. Truth be told, he was relieved to finally have a normal conversation. One where both sides knew what the other said.
“You’re still cheating on the taking a break part,” he remarked.
“Are you complaining I’m trying to find a solution to your problem?” Stephen floats around the table. He reached out to pet Tony and the cat leaned in the surprisingly solid touch.
“I didn’t say that,” he murmured. “Just pointing out a fact.”
“Mhm.” The sorcerer didn’t sound convinced. He continued to give back scratches all the way to that sweet spot right before the tail.
The cat got low but stretched his butt upwards. Purring louder than ever, he then flopped onto the side and was about to stick his belly out at Stephen when he realized what he was doing. Scowling, he pulled himself back up, ignoring Stephen's smug smile.
“That’s definitely some kind of cheating.”
“We had a lot of cats on the farm I grew up on.”
Stephen rarely talked about his childhood. Tony mostly knew the basics. Therefore he absorbed these kinds of snippets of information, adding them together like a big puzzle. There were still many gaps.
“More volunteers for your Hogwarts transmutation class?” He tried to dig deeper.
Stephen was quick to correct him. “You did not transmute. You shapeshifted.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Everything but the result. It’s a completely different course of action. You see, with shapeshifting a person shifts into a different living being. In most cases into a different species; although not always. While during a transmutation it changes the substance – regardless if it’s a living being or a objec-
” Stephen paused. His face told Tony an idea had struck him.
And he was right.
“Metamorphosis
 I haven’t thought about metamorphosis. Normally, it wouldn’t be relevant, but since the source of magic lies in a relic, it’s actually quite possible.” He floated over to the shelves, looking for a specific book.
Tony stayed on the table, watching him. “Do you know how to reverse it?”
“Oh yes, it’s rather easy – if you know what you’re looking for. Ah, there it is
” Stephen thumbed through the book until he found what he was looking for. "Metamorphosis explains how you were able to have such good control over your new form straight away. Without any familiarization phase. And why there are some striking matching features between your forms.” Especially the facial hair and eye color.
Stephen returned to the desk.
“Whenever you’re ready.”
“I was ready five hours ago.”
Stephen’s face fell, sobered up, and the guilt was back. He mumbled another apology.
Tony felt awful for mentioning it; being a cat hadn’t been that bad. Even if it hadn't been voluntary.
Ghost-Stephen disappeared into thin air and a second later human-Stephen stood up. Some magic was safer to perform when he was on this plane.
He stepped to the cat, who was waiting for yet another attempt. Only this time, he actually felt something.
The magic wrapping around him was bright and he had to close his eyes for a second. It felt like he was stretching after sitting in the same pose for a long time. His joints were cracking like he had slept uncomfortably.
It didn’t hurt, rather it felt right.
Then it was gone and Tony opened his eyes. He was still sitting on the table, but now as a human again. The air suddenly felt more chilly.
Oh yeah, his clothes were still on the couch.
And Tony was naked as on the day he was born.
He noticed the dark blush spreading on Stephen’s face. They hadn’t reached that stage of their relationship yet, but Tony didn’t mind showing off. Plus, it was nice to know that his body still got that kind of reaction.
Stephen realized he was staring and cleared his throat, averting his eyes. “You should
” He trailed off, vaguely gesturing towards the pile of clothes.
Tony slid off the table. “Don’t play coy. This is what you get.”
His words made Stephen blush even more. Tony hadn’t taken his partner to be this shy. Somehow it was endearing.
He grabbed his pants. “Well, it’s good to be back.” He pulled his pants over his butt, when suddenly there was something in the way. Confused, he turned his head – and found a cat tail attached to him. Human-sized, very fluffy and in black and brown.
It twitched, nervously.
“Stephen
” He looked at the sorcerer, demanding answers.
“There might have been a slight mishap.” Stephen’s voice was hoarse and not in the slightest apologetic. He was back to watching Tony. Watching the top of his head in particular, Tony noticed.
With one hand still holding his pants in place, Tony reached up. He flinched when he touched fluffy ears. Feline ears.
Stephen licked his lips. He wasn’t blushing because he was shy. It was because he was very much turned on by the unexpected turn of events. But he didn’t dare to say anything since he wasn’t sure how Tony would react to yet another magic-caused alteration.
Only when he heard a chuckle escaping Tony’s lips, did the tension leave him.
Tony found the situation absurd. He had had a long day and honestly, he was just glad to have his thumbs back. “I hope you have some alternative clothes for me. Otherwise, I have to go naked from the waist down and possibly traumatize Wong for life.”
___________
Tony's secret code to identify himself to Jarvis: -y0u kn0w wh0 1 am-
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avastrasposts · 1 year ago
Text
The Pilot and his Girl - ch. 26**
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So much happening in this chapter so it's a long one! And a happy chapter! Again, this is a series of scenes I've had in my head since the beginning, the events that take place as they finally make it to New York and I had a lot of fun planning them and finally writing them.
Series Master List
Warnings have their own post, please heed them if needed
Word count: 14k (you'll either hate that or love it 😅)
Morrow, the raider, turns out to be a decent guide. Either that, or the thinly veiled threats Pope hisses at him as he tugs on the man’s rope keeps him perpetually terrified enough to not try anything. He leads you all on back roads that avoid towns and main routes, and the closer you get to New York, the more confident he gets as he takes you into buildings, skirting around hordes of infected. It’s clear that this is territory he’s crossed many times as a smuggler, just as Frankie and Pope had around Arlington. 
It takes almost three days of walking to reach Hoboken, the broken New York skyline slowly getting closer. You only realize you’ve reached the city when you see a shattered sign that reads Hoboken Beer & Soda Outlet, hanging off a bombed out building. 
“You’ve done good, Morrow,” Pope says to the young man, as you all catch a glimpse of the Hudson River between demolished buildings. 
“Thanks,” he replies, less nervous now than when he first started out. He’s still restrained but as he continued to lead you safely through the devastated urban landscape of New Jersey, the guys became less hard on him, sharing rations and making sure he was at least as comfortable as the rest of you at night. You thought it showed some humanity on the guys part but Frankie shook his head when you brought it up, out of earshot of Morrow. 
“We treat him well so that he feels less inclined to fuck us. If we treat him fair he’ll think we’ll let him go without harm once we don’t need him anymore and that makes him want to make sure we’re happy with how he aids us.” 
“But you’re not gonna let him go?” you ask, glancing over at Morrow where he and Pope are discussing the best way forward towards Sinatra Park. 
Frankie shrugs, “We’ll let him go, but we’ll probably hand him over to FEDRA once we get to the intake area.” 
Morrow had told you about the FEDRA intake area located at Sinatra Park in Hoboken. It was a small temp QZ where people were scanned, assessed and then allowed to take a boat across to the main Manhattan QZ if they passed. According to Morrow, most people were admitted as long as they were healthy. The QZ needed people to rebuild the city, the hope was to bring back some sort of normalcy inside the walls. He’d said there was even talk of a vaccine research facility, FEDRA attempting to locate and bring in any surviving vaccine researchers from across the country. It sounded hopeful but like most people, you were jaded at this point. You’d settle for a safe QZ devoid of fascist tendencies, decent food and an apartment where Frankie could make good on his promises about where he wanted to spend his time. 
“C’mere, guys,” Pope waves Benny, Frankie and you over to where he’s been talking to Morrow. He points to a building about a block away, it’s been bombed and is tilting precariously to the right. “The plan was to go through that building, that’s the way they’ve been coming, the boat they use to sneak across the Hudson is moored on the other side. But, look at that,” he points to the first floor corner, bright orange and red tendrils visible through a broken window. “Morrow says those are new.” 
“Fuck,” you hear Benny hiss behind you, and you mirror his sentiments. The bright red and orange hues means fresh cordyceps growth. Someone in the building has been infected, died and now the fungal growth is creeping out from their body, seeking out new ways to spread itself. Step on it and any infected within several miles will feel it and come running, the large underground mycelium network working to alert every part of a potential threat or victim. 
“So we’re not going through there,” Frankie says and Pope nods. 
“No, clearly not. The only other option is the building next door,” he indicates a large red brick building on the other side of a partially destroyed street. The building looks unharmed and the large glass door to the ground floor coffee shop stands open. “But that building hasn’t been cleared by anyone in a long time according to Morrow, it’s even possible whoever is responsible for the new cordyceps growth came from it.” 
“So potentially a nice little horde of infected?” Benny sighs, pulling off his cap to run his hand through his hair and shoving it down again, backwards as usual. 
“Probably not a horde, we would’ve seen more growth coming out of the building and I see none, but yeah,” Pope shrugs and looks back at the three of you, “definitely potentially infected inside.” 
You take a deep breath and look over at Frankie, he’s looking at his boots, adjusting the leg holster on his thigh and he feels your eyes on him, looking up to meet them. You don’t even have to say anything, he takes a step closer, his hand finding yours, giving it a light squeeze of reassurance. 
“Are there any options of going around, Morrow?” he asks the young man standing next to Pope. 
“I don’t know how far we’d have to back track, the main path to Sinatra Park used to be a few miles back and further north but FEDRA blew up those buildings about a year ago because it got swamped by a horde.” 
“So we either face this potentially infected building, or we backtrack and definitely have to deal with more infected,” Frankie looks over at Pope and Benny. “We’re pushing our luck the longer we stay out here, traveling through this kind of area I mean, we’ve already been out here three days.” 
“Yeah, I agree,” Benny says, “we go slow, be careful, and go through this building, dealing with anything we find. It’s better than going into unknown territory.” 
“Ok,” Pope nods, “we go through here then, everybody ready up.” 
“What about me?” Morrow asks, his voice worried, “I don’t wanna go through there with my hands tied.” 
Pope looks over at the three of you and you nod without thinking, letting him into the building with his hands tied would be cruel, and where is he going to run to now? Benny and Frankie seem to agree and Pope cuts the cable tie that’s around Morrow’s wrists. 
“Do I get a weapon?” he asks and Pope scoffs. 
“Don’t push your luck.” 
Pope takes the lead, Morrow behind him with Benny taking up the rear as you all as silently as possible enter the building through the open doors. Inside the entrance you get a better look at the busted coffee shop, looted of anything useful years ago it seems. Tables and chairs are scattered across the interior, broken mugs on the floor, but thankfully no sign of fungal growth. Pope glances back and signals for you all to move towards the back door of the coffee shop, you can see it hanging half open next to the Please dispose of your trash here sign on the back wall. 
You hold your breath, gun in hand and pointed towards the floor, as Pope puts his shoulder to the door and carefully pushes it open. The hinges protest slightly, a low squeak making you all freeze and listen intently. When nothing stirs, Pope slides off his backpack and slips through the opening. One by one you do the same and follow him through. Behind the door is a hallway, lined with cardboard boxes filled with supplies for the coffee shop and knocked over trash bags that makes the place reek of years old fermented coffee grinds and rat droppings. You pull the top of your sweater over your mouth and nose, wrinkling your face at the stench. 
Pope spots a sturdy looking door at the end of the hallway, it looks like it leads to the outside and you pray for it to be that easy. But of course it’s not, as you get closer you see Pope mouth a silent Fuck, there’s no door handle on the door and it’s locked tight, he gives it an experimental shove. Turning back he motions down a hallway that runs along the outside wall, at the end of it is what looks like an internal fire escape staircase. Pope makes a couple of hand signals, and you all nod, up the stairs, try to find a way out and down to ground level again. 
Pope and Morrow silently climb the stairs, Frankie and you following close behind. At the top is another door, leading into a hallway with doors on one side and three windows lining the opposite wall. Holding up the door, Morrow lets you all through it before he silently lets it slip shut, only the faintest click as the lock catches. But it’s enough to elicit a noise that you know too well.
The second you hear it, everyone freezes in their tracks, the tell tale sound of a clicker somewhere nearby, the screeching like inhumane fingernails over a chalkboard. You bite back a whimper, briefly closing your eyes as Frankie’s hand shoots out and grabs yours. 
Everybody knows the drill, spreading out and silently finding cover out of sight. The clickers’ echo location, their screeching, works in the same way as a bats. Even if they can’t see you, when they screech towards you, the sound will bounce off your body and tell the clicker exactly where you are. Staying hidden and silent is the only way to escape them. They can be killed by a gunshot to the head, but that noise will attract any other infected in the building. The best, but very dangerous, way to kill them, is to sneak up behind them and stab them in the head, hoping they don’t suddenly turn and hear you. Killing them straight on is almost impossible, the infection giving them inhuman strength. 
The space upstairs seems to be made up of a number of small apartments, the doors to them all open, four in total down the length of the hallway. There’s no shelter in the hallway and you all shuffle into the nearest apartment. Pope signals window back to Benny and Frankie and they nod.
“How?” you mouth to them. How will you all sneak out into the hallway, open a window and climb out without alerting the clicker? It seems impossible. Pope opens his mouth to whisper a reply when you hear feet dragging across the hallway and the tell tale sound of the clicker’s screech. 
You move immediately, as quietly as possible you all sneak further into the small apartment, Frankie pulls you down behind the kitchen counter in one corner, Pope and Morrow duck behind the couch on the other side of the apartment door. 
You turn around and glance towards the door and your stomach drops as you see Benny. His back is pressed against the wall and you realize what he’s about to try. His hunting knife is in his hand and he’s poised, ready to strike as the clicker staggers into the opening of the door, stopping and screeching loudly into the room. The grotesque creature, fungal growth erupting from down the middle of its head, obscuring almost all human features, lurches into the room. Benny makes his moves, the knife makes a sickening crunch as it connects with the clicker but it jerks out of the way and his hand slips, the knife sinking into the neck instead of the temple. Instantly the clicker wrenches itself away from Benny who struggles to get the knife out of its neck. You see Pope rush forward, the clicker screeching, the sound being answered by another screech somewhere in the building. Benny’s knife is still lodged in the clickers neck, Benny’s got one hand on the handle, another around the clickers neck, desperately trying to keep the snapping jaws away from himself. Pope skids around the clicker, his own knife drawn, avoiding the creature's flailing arms, and sinks it down to the handle into the soft tissue of the temple. The clicker screeches again, going limp under Benny’s grip and Pope wrenches his knife out and jabs it in again, twisting it deep in the fungal growth that’s taken over inside the skull. 
Another screech goes up just outside the apartment door and you yell a warning to Pope, he’s just by the door, struggling to wrench his knife out again. The second clicker slams into him and Benny scrambles to shove the body of the first one out of the way, reaching out to stop the infected from sinking into Pope’s neck. Frankie rushes forward, pushing past you as Morrow bolts from behind the couch, heading for the front door, ducking around Pope as Pope gets his arm up under the creature's neck. 
Benny grabs onto what’s left of the clickers jacket and it staggers back, slamming into Morrow who tumbles with a yelp as the clicker rips itself from Benny’s grip and snarls. It’s a tangle of limbs, the clickers wide open mouth, tendrils waving from its maw, Pope kicks frantically on the floor as Morrow’s arm hits him over the head. Morrow fights to get back on his feet, the clicker scrabbling to latch onto any living thing. It takes only seconds, but you feel like you’re watching in slow motion when Frankie reaches the clicker, gun in hand, and fires directly into its temple. 
Both Pope and Benny stumble back, shoving the clicker away, on top of the first one. Morrow sinks down against the door, breathing heavy as Benny drags Pope to his feet. 
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, you ok, Santi?” Benny yells, searching any of his friend’s visible skin. Frankie rushes forward too, pulling back Pope’s collar to check. Pope breathes heavily, running hands over his throat, his chest, wrists and finally ankles and legs. 
“I’m good,” he exhales before drawing a long breath in, “You?” he asks Benny who nods. 
“Yeah, they never got close enough.” 
“Guys
” you say, and they turn to you. You’ve crossed the small apartment and you’re looking down at Morrow. He’s silently staring at the back of his hand, blood and teeth marks clearly visible, his hand is shaking as he lets a sob escape, turning to look at the four of you. 
“Fuck,” Pope exhales, the four of you are frozen in front Morrow, his fate sealed. He looks up at you all with fear in his eyes. 
“Please, kill me,” he sobs, “please.” 
Frankie reluctantly raises his gun, aiming at the young man's head, but you quickly put your hand on his arm, “Wait;” you say, “Is there anyone in New York you want us to give a message to, someone who should know?” 
Morrow gasps for air, sobs threatening to take over as he shakes his head, “Just tell the captain I’m sorry I fucked up.” 
“Your FEDRA captain?” you ask. 
“No, The Captain, he’s my boss, and my friend I guess, he’ll find you once you’re inside, just tell him I’m sorry.” 
“Ok, we’ll tell him, don’t worry, Morrow.” Frankie glances over at you for confirmation that he can carry on, and you look at Morrow who nods, closing his eyes. The gunshot is painfully loud in the small room and it makes you wince, the young man slumps over against the wall, his eyes still closed. 
The irony of it is that it doesn’t take you long to get to Sinatra Park once Benny’s forced open a window and you’ve all scrambled down the side of the building. A few short, easy blocks, and then you’re standing again in front of FEDRA soldiers with guns trained on the four of you. Morrow was so close to making it.
You’re quickly scanned, all of you negative, and let into the small temporary QZ area. So quick and easy, you almost feel guilty. Morrow had led you safely through the urban hellscape that was New Jersey, and then, at the last moment, he’d fallen. 
“He was trying to run,” Frankie says, to make you feel less guilty but even if that was right, who were you to blame him? The clicker went for Pope and you’d been frozen, Frankie had saved him while you remained frozen to the floor. 
“We all have our strengths and weaknesses, cariño,” his thumb running over your cheek as he cups your face, “your job is not to take down clickers. Your job is to be mine, let me be yours, keep me sane, grounded, give me purpose.” He’s leaned his forehead against yours as you blink back guilty tears. 
“But what if it’d been you, and I was frozen while you were attacked by a clicker?” 
Frankie shakes his head, “I don’t think you’d be frozen if you were on your own with me or Ben och Pope, you’d be as ferocious as you were with Myers or when we first came to Arlington,” he’d said, his thumb still gently caressing the apple of your cheek. “You find your courage when you need it, I’ve seen it.” 
“I want us to find his friend, The Captain, and tell him, we owe it to Morrow.”
“Yeah, we will, I’ll ask around when we get to Manhattan,” Frankie pulls you into his chest, arms wrapping around you, and you close your eyes, trying to not see the clickers and Morrow’s last moments in your mind again. 
You’re all kept at Sinatra Park  for a few days while they gather enough passengers for the ferry ride over to Manhattan. While you’re there you’re supplied with ration cards for food and supplies, a simple paper ID card and an address for your new accommodations. Once in the QZ you have three days to get settled, then you need to report to FEDRA’s work detail to be assigned jobs. 
The ferry to Manhattan is surreal, it’s really just an old sailing boat, and you sit on deck, watching the broken skyline glide closer. It’s a beautiful day, late August, warm sun on your back and glittering water. If it wasn’t for the jagged, crumbling ruins of skyscrapers you’d think you were on a romantic weekend break with Frankie, taking a sightseeing tour on the Hudson. The illusion shatters the second you step ashore though, your papers are checked and then you’re scanned again by FEDRA before you’re let through the final checkpoint. 
Once on the other side the four of you made your way to an address on the Upper West Side. You can’t help but giggle as you see the building, you’re in a fucking brownstone on the Upper West Side. The area is less bombed than other parts of Manhattan, so most people live here now, but still. You and Frankie are now living in a studio apartment within spitting distance of Central Park, worth more before the outbreak than you and Frankie earned combined in probably about ten years. If it wasn’t for the whole ‘end of the world’ thing, you’d be ecstatic. 
You’ve been given accommodation in the same building as Pope and Benny, they’re just a floor below you two. Frankie and you had registered as husband and wife with FEDRA in Arlington, even if you’d never had a wedding or a ceremony. There had been some religious men of different faiths in Arlington who’d married people for a few ration cards, but it seemed so pointless to you both. Frankie was yours, and you were his, a glum ceremony in the apocalypse wouldn’t make any difference. So when FEDRA asked how you were related, he said you were his wife and then you were. The ring was still on your finger, the three diamonds a permanent reminder of the little threesome you’d almost become. 
Walking into your new apartment feels like a massive relief. You love Benny and Pope and you’re happy they’ll be just downstairs, but to finally be able to close the door behind you, and have your own place with Frankie again, it makes your breath a deep contented sigh.
Frankie drops both your backpacks on the floor and wraps his arms around you from behind, his head coming to rest on your shoulder. 
“Wanna check what the water pressure’s like?” he mumbles, his hands already slipping up to cup your breasts through your t-shirt. 
“Oh god, a shower
” you moan, “I’d forgotten about showers.” 
Frankie chuckles into your ear, “I’ve been dreaming about showers for a month.”
“You’ve been dreaming about us in a shower for a month,” you correct him and you can feel his chest vibrate as he laughs. 
“True,” he says, grabbing the old Ikea bag filled with towels, sheets and hygiene supplies you’d been given when you’d been assigned the apartment, “so make my dreams come true, hermosa.” 
“Cheesy, very cheesy,” you laugh at his wink but accept his hand as he pulls you through the small studio apartment. It’s just a room, not a very big one even, with an alcove for a double bed at one end, kitchen at the other. Apart from the front door, there are only two doors, one leading to a tiny storage room, the other on to the bathroom. It doesn’t have a bathtub, just a small shower in the corner with a glass wall shielding the rest of the room from the spray. 
“If we try anything sex related in this shower we’ll either soak the room or injure ourselves,” you say, giving the small space a critical look. “Bedroom?” 
“You mean the bed in the middle of the living room? Sure. But I’ll let you shower before I make good on that hour between your legs,” Frankie grins, “Make you think about how I’m gonna let you test the sound proofing in this building.”  He pulls you in by grabbing your ass, his mouth finding yours as he pushes you up against the counter with a playful growl. You giggle into his mouth as he grinds into you. 
“Never known a forty year old to be so horny, Frankie, you’re hornier than the guys I dated when I was a teenager.” You laugh as he growls into your mouth, his rapidly growing cock firm against your hip.  
“Wish I’d known you when I was a teenager,” he mumbles, his lips moving down your jaw when he suddenly pulls back, “No, wait, the sex would’ve been terrible, I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing back then.” 
“Inexperienced little Francisco Morales? I would’ve loved that too,” you chuckle, pushing him off you. “I’m gonna shower, make the bed and I’ll let you show me your new moves.”
“You already know all my moves,” he nips at your bottom lip with a smirk before leaving.  
The pressure in the shower is low but at least the water is hot and clean, steaming up the small bathroom. Frankie comes in after a little while and sits on the toilet, peeling off his layers as you dry off and step out. 
“C’mere,” he murmurs, eyes on your damp curves and you have to slap his hand away with a smile. 
“You’re all grimy, Frankie, shower first, then hands.” You wink at him and quickly jump backwards out the door as he tries to catch your ass. 
The bed must’ve been the one originally in the apartment because it is nice
.you groan as you sink into the large plush mattress. Or it might just be that you’ve spent most nights on a camping mat, because it’s like a cloud under you. By the time Frankie comes out of the shower, his damp curls like a halo around his head, you’re almost asleep. 
“Nice bed?” he asks, grinning down at your sleepy face as he crawls on top, caging you in as he drops onto his forearms. 
“Very nice bed,” you reply, smiling as he sinks down further to take your bottom lips between his teeth, making you open your mouth for his tongue. His warm body is like a weighted blanket over you as he slowly works to replace your sleepiness with arousal, when you let a first soft moan slip out he pulls back and looks down at you.
“Still tired?” he smiles as his warm hand grabs the back of your thigh and slides your knee up, opening you up to the heavy weight of his erection. 
“Yeah, but you can keep going, if you’re good enough I won’t fall asleep.” 
You shriek with laughter as your comment makes him slip down and blow a wet raspberry into your belly button, squirming under his fingers.
“So cheeky, as if you could fall asleep with what I have planned, hermosa,” he purrs, slipping down further to nose at the top of your slit. You feel his fingers caress the smooth skin on your thighs and spread you open as he makes room for his shoulders, the sight of his broad back between your legs never ceases to turn you on. You reach down to thread your fingers through his curls, making Frankie hum into your core. 
“Time me, cariño, I said an hour,” he says, unfurling his tongue and letting the tip run the length of your fold. It’s such a slow, teasing movement that makes you clench around nothing, gasping as you sink further into the bed, trying to stop the giggle from getting the better of you. 
“I don’t even have watc-oh shit, Frankie
.” 
You wouldn’t be able to say if it’s an hour or not, you lose track of time as soon as he starts teasing your clit, it has been a long time since there was time or safety enough for this. And you’ve missed it, holy fuck you’d missed it. His hot mouth pressed against your core, the thick tongue sliding into your entrance as his perfect nose circles your clit. He groans into you, his fingers digging into the meat of your thighs as you fist his hair, crying out as he pulls the first orgasm from you. He pulls back, strokes your hips, letting you catch your breath before he moves up over your damp skin, trailing wet kisses over every inch he can reach. 
“Your old moves still work, Morales,” you smile at him as he reaches your mouth. Tasting yourself on him always makes your arousal flare up again, something about him mixing with you. He chuckles, letting his hand slide down between your legs. 
“I noticed,” he says, his damp nose sliding down over your jaw as he slowly slips in a finger, “and you taste just as good as I remember.” 
He lets his fingers open you up before he leaves your mouth, moving down between your legs again. This time his fingers slowly fucks in and out of you while his groans, vibrating over your clit makes you cant your hips against his face, chasing his tongue. He leaves you hanging, just on the edge, with a pained protest, as he removes his fingers. 
“Turn over,” he says, his voice rough, helping you onto your belly, “keep your ankles crossed.” 
“New move?” you ask with a grin over your shoulder, earning you a nip on your butt, before he runs his tongue over the mark. 
“Maybe, I had an idea in the shower,” he gives you a crooked smile and bends down over you, pushing your head down to place a wet kiss on your neck, keeping you flush against the bed.
“Push your hips up, baby, like this,” he grabs your hip, guiding them up against his own. His heavy cock pushes in between your thighs, his hand guiding the head to run through your slick folds. The angle and your closed thighs makes him feel bigger than usual, the stretch making you moan into the sheets as he pushes in, his heavy pants blowing hot air over your neck. 
“Fuck, that’s good,” he growls, he’s moving his hips, shallow thrusts into you as he slowly works his cock deeper in. “So fucking tight, hermosa, gorgeous girl, so good to me
fuck
can you take more?” 
“Yes, please, Frankie, more,” you turn your head to find his lips, messy and uncoordinated as he groans into your mouth. He’s struggling to hold himself up, each thrust makes him want to fall over you, grind into your wet heat and cover your body with his own. You push back against him, taking him deeper as the angle pushes his hard cock to drag over every nerve ending inside you. The tight fit of him is making you whimper as he snaps his hips faster, grinding into you as he bottoms out. He’s pushing you into the bed, his heavy body trapping you under him as each thrust rubs your clit against the soft cotton sheets. Each groan from him makes your pussy clench harder, your orgasm suddenly hitting you, the sheet bunching in your fists as you cry out. 
Frankie stutters and curses, a string of filth in Spanish slipping out as your pussy tightens around him. 
“Where, cariño, where, I’m
fuck
close.” 
“Inside, it’s ok,” you moan, his erratic thrusts making your climax hum through your body, arching up against him as he cries out. He suddenly drops down on you, his teeth sinking into your shoulder with a growl as heat fills you, he’s shuddering, his face buried against your shoulder, with a low gasp, he exhales. 
“Fuck
” he moans, his mouth pressed against your skin and your hear the smile in his voice, “Fuck me that was intense,” he chuckles, panting as he tries to catch his breath. 
“I think we ruined the sheets on the first try,” you laugh, flopping onto your back as he pulls out with a hiss, his spend dripping down your thighs. “I know, but it was worth it,” he puts his head on your arm and lets you pull him onto your chest, his head resting on your shoulder. “I’ll sleep on the wet patch.”
“I think you need a haircut,” you smile, pushing back his damp curls from his forehead. His hair has gotten long since you left Arlington, “a haircut or a ponytail.” 
“Imagine Pope’s face if I turned up with a ponytail,” he chuckles, closing his eyes as you rake your fingers through hair, his breathing slows down and he hums, moving his head to give you better access, “I always love when you do that.”
“I know, Frankie,” you whisper, pulling the covers up over you both, Frankie’s warm body pressed against you. 
It takes a few days for the four of you to settle in and start picking up odd jobs. You try to get a job in the FEDRA kitchen but you’re turned down, apparently any job inside a FEDRA facility is reserved for family members of FEDRA soldiers. And since none of the guys have any intentions of joining FEDRA again, you resign yourself to the same odd jobs as the guys. But there are other plans, and they start taking shape only a week after your arrival in New York. 
One of the benefits of the four of you living practically next door is pooling your resources and making them stretch further. So most nights finds Frankie and you in Santi and Benny’s apartment, cooking dinner and hanging out, months on the road together had knitted you together into a family more than ever now. Their two bedroom apartment was bigger than what you and Frankie had and the kitchen had room for a large table where you often found yourself, if it wasn’t your turn to take care of the food. 
This evening Benny’s peeling potatoes while the two of you wait for Frankie and Santi to get back from their job. They’d both signed on to dig up a new field for vegetables in a nearby park and it was hard work that left them tired and dirty each night. So when the front door opens and Pope steps in, grimy and sweaty, you throw him a sympathetic look. 
“Hey, Santi, you’ve got time for a shower, dinner’s not ready yet,” you wave at him and he grunts a thank you, toeing his boots off. 
“Frankie went to shower at your place, he’ll be here soon,” he tells you, pulling off his shirt as he heads towards the bathroom. 
You lay the table and warm up some arepas while the potatoes boil on the stove. The door opens again and Frankie arrives, looking tired but smiling at you as you drop the last arepa on a plate and go over to him. 
“Hello my sweet man,” you whisper, wrapping your arms around his neck, fingers tangling in the damp, now shorter, curls at his neck. 
“Hello, mi vida,” he smiles back, his hands finding their way to your waist before he pulls you in for a kiss. Blame it on being safe, or the amount of sex you’ve had the past week or maybe ‘that time of the month’ hormones, but you can’t help but deepen the kiss, licking into his mouth and relishing the little surprised moan you pull from him as you tug at his locks, keeping him tight against you. You hear Benny sigh, pointedly, behind your back but Frankie’s got the message now and his hand is sliding up your back to grab your neck and hold you firmly against his mouth. The ‘welcome home’ kiss turns into a much more heated affair, dragging on until you finally have to pull back for air, Frankie’s lips chasing yours for a final press before he opens his eyes and smiles at you. 
“You guys done now?” Benny huffs, mock indignation in his voice, from the kitchen. 
“No,” Frankie says, his hands trying to get you into his arms again as you giggle and turn your back to him, pulling him into the kitchen. 
“Sorry, Benny,” you apologize while your husband pulls you down onto his lap on one of the kitchen chairs, making you squeal when his fingers dig into your waist. 
“I swear you guys are worse than teenagers,” Benny sighs but you hear the smile in his voice. “And Frankie, it’s technically your turn to do dinner so you owe me one.” 
“Yeah, I know, we got delayed on the way back, we worked with a guy today who had some interesting information and we wanted to talk to him.” 
“What kind of information?” you ask as Santi walks in, fresh from his shower. 
“Remember ‘The Captain’ that Morrow mentioned, his boss?” he says, dropping down on a chair across the table from you. “Turns out, he’s the main boss, the guy who runs the smuggling in the QZ. And according to this guy we worked with today, he’s elusive. When you buy from the smugglers, you buy from one of his guys, never from him, he stays hidden because he’s pretty high on FEDRA’s wanted list.” 
Benny puts down a stewpot on the table before he straightens up and looks at Pope, “Why is that interesting? Do we wanna meet this captain guy just to tell him Morrow died? Seems like a lot of hassle if the guy’s a ghost.” 
“If we’re gonna start smuggling again we need to figure out how, and if this guy runs smuggling in the QZ, we need to work with him, or take him out. But,” Pope says, holding up his hand to silence Benny who’s opened his mouth again, “the guy we talked with said they haven’t been able to supply as usual the past few weeks. And we know why.” 
“You guys took out a bunch of his guys
.” you say, nodding as it dawns on you. 
“Exactly,” Pope grins, “we’ve already started undermining him, there’s a gap in the market. So we pick up their slack, send a message and we have a better chance of getting in on the smuggling market.” Pope looks pleased with himself as he starts scooping up stew onto his plate. 
“Isn’t it pretty likely that The Captain is gonna be pissed off when you start taking his customers?” You look down at Frankie, he’s been quiet the whole time, his hands holding you steady on his lap. 
“Yeah, most likely,” he agrees, “but we can handle that, and it means he’ll be more inclined to work with us, if we’re already supplying what he can’t.” 
You look at Frankie, chewing your lip, you have more things to say about it but you don’t know how to say it without sounding dismissive. Truth is, you’re worried it’ll be a lot more dangerous than in Arlington; a rival gang, new territory, new connections need to be made and new routes, all while staying under FEDRA’s radar and avoiding any infected. But you can’t tell them not to, smuggling makes them use their skills, the things they’re good at and at the same time bring in things you all need. And you know their smuggling made a difference to the people in Arlington. When FEDRA rationed food and medicine too harshly, what Frankie and Pope brought in could help someone who needed it and at the same time keep you all fed. 
They make plans during the dinner and you don’t say much. Frankie notices your silence and he doesn’t like it, his hand keeps reaching out to touch your leg, wrap his fingers around yours, or pull you closer as you all stand from the dinner table. You feel his worried eyes on you as Pope and Benny pour over an old New York map, strategizing. He can see your mind working and he has an inkling about where it’s going. 
You bring it up later, when you’re alone and back in your own apartment. Frankie’s crawled into bed, pulled down the covers for you to join him, but you remain standing after you come out of the bathroom. 
“I want to be part of the smuggling,” you say and Frankie drops his chin to his chest, this is where he feared you were going. 
“I know you don’t want me too, but, firstly, I am not sitting at home waiting for the three of you while you’re away doing something dangerous. Again. I did that in Arlington and it sucked.” 
Frankie opens his mouth to protest but you cut him off. “And I know you said you need me safe to be able to focus out there, but we’ve been traveling across the country for months and we, all of us, work well together. And you know I can handle myself.” You kneel down on the bed in front of him, making him look you in the eye, “Let me be your lookout, or let me do the trading while you three stand behind me and look like bad asses.” The last thing makes Frankie give an involuntary smirk and you smile, “Frankie, you know it makes sense, I’m a good asset, I can be useful too.”
“I knew you were going to bring it up again,” he says, sighing while he traces his fingertips across your temple to push a strand of hair behind your ear. “If it was anyone else, I’d say yes straight away. But it’s you.” He stops and locks eyes with you, those warm brown eyes you’ve loved from the very beginning, anxious, “You’re everything to me, and the thought of you getting hurt, or worse, scares the shit out of me.” 
“The thought of you getting hurt scares the shit out of me too,” you say, letting him pull you closer, his arms looping around your waist so that you're sitting on his lap, knees on either side of his hips. “But it scares me even more to think about you getting hurt when I’m not there. Frankie, my very worst nightmare is you just disappearing, and I don’t know what happened to you, like what Hannah had to go through with Will, never knowing.” 
“That’s my worst nightmare too,” he whispers, his voice low and pained. 
“So don’t make me wait at home for you again,” you plead. He tilts his head and leans his forehead against yours, closing his eyes with a sigh. 
“Ok,” he breathes, “ok.” 
It takes a couple of weeks for things to get set in motion, gather the necessary supplies and information to start thinking about leaving the QZ on a smuggling run. FEDRA has taken the rifles but you’d managed to hide your handguns in your backpacks so you weren’t entirely without weapons at least. The first run is short but successful, Pope seems to have a knack for sniffing out passageways. After studying the map and walking around the north eastern end of the QZ for a few days, he’s found several potential entry points into old service tunnels that should run under the wall, next to the bombed metro tunnels. With you as a lookout, the three of them try two before getting lucky in the third one. It’s relatively undamaged, free from infected and leads straight to the 116th street Metro station in East Harlem. The entrance to the metro is blocked off but it doesn’t take the three guys long to clear a narrow passageway that they can easily hide from the outside.
A few days is also spent clearing two more ways in and out of the QZ. Pope has told you about how he’d learnt the hard way to never just have one route. Early on in Franklin the tunnel he’d used had collapsed while he was outside the QZ. He was trapped with no way back in so he had to crawl through the rubble of the collapsed tunnel, narrowly escaping two runners, who came through from a broken wall. Pope was flippant about the way he told the story, making you laugh, but he also told you he’d never been that close to death before or since, even in the army. It was a sober reminder to always have an escape route and he was adamant about having at least two back ups. 
Finding connections takes a bit longer, building trust isn’t easy in the best of times, and these are not the best of times. But not surprisingly, it’s Benny who brings in the first real trade and solid connection for future deals. He meets an older man at one of the odd jobs he takes, clearing one of the streets, a rough and far too heavy job for the older man. Benny, in his usual manner, helps the man get through the day so that he can collect the ration cards he sorely needs. Grateful, the man tells Benny he has a sister who lives up in New Haven who sails down to Orchard Beach and trades in a number of things. 
“She and her husband can get you almost anything you need, just place an order with The Captain’s gang and they’ll sort it.” 
“What if I wanna trade directly with them? I can go out there on my own if I have to.” Benny asks and the old man hesitates, but Benny’s good natured charm serves him well and a few days later he has a time and a place to meet the old man’s sister.
The sister’s name is Jodie Graham, her brother contacts her via one of the two non-FEDRA radio centers set up, and vouches for Benny and his friends and the four of you set out for your first trade. It takes you only half a day to get to Orchard Beach, despite it being slow going in the bombed and ravaged terrain. The trade goes well, Jodie and her husband Damon seem relieved to see a woman together with the three big men flanking you. Despite their best efforts at looking non-threatening, they fail as they approach. Guns at their sides and heavy boots, they look very much like the ex Special Ops soldiers they are. It’s clear that it’s only her brother’s word that lets the four of you approach the boat they’ve come in on. 
You don’t have much to trade with them yet but this first time feels mainly like a show of good faith. 
“Any prescription drugs you can trade with us, we’ll be interested,” Jodie says, “that’s something we can’t seem to get from other smugglers. And the other New Yorkers, the ones who work for The Captain, they’re always reluctant to trade it.” 
“Why?” you ask, you’ve been doing most of the talking, it felt natural when Jodie seemed to trust you more than the three men behind you.
“A misplaced sort of moral it seemed like,” Jodie scoffed, “as if anyone cares about drug addictions today, seems like one of the nicer ways to go.” She takes the bag of coffee beans you’ve handed her, “They won’t trade them, but I’ve got plenty of people who want them, so if you get your hands on any, we’ll pay very well for them.” 
“I’ll see what we can do, we haven’t got any at the moment,” you say, keeping your tone non-committal. You already know you won’t be trading any drugs, it was a line Pope had drawn in the sand early on. One you wouldn’t be prepared to cross with Frankie’s history either. But it spiked your interest about the rival New York gang, maybe it was a common ground you could start with, some sort of honor among thieves, or smugglers in your case.
“Any supplies you need for your ship?” you ask, “We might be able to get you extra gear for it, there’s plenty of boat clubs around Manhattan and most of the supplies in them aren’t of much use to anyone without a boat.” 
“Yeah, any sail cloth you can find, and rope,” Jodie says and you make a note in your book to search around the Manhattan coastline before the next trade. 
Once you’ve agreed on when to connect again on the radio, the four of you make your way back towards Manhattan. By the time you get back to the apartments it’s late but you’re all in a good mood, the day has been a success. 
You do four more trades with Jodie and Damon, filling your backpacks with an assortment of goods each trade, before the first hint of trouble crops up. Jodie’s the one who gives you the heads up. 
“I like trading with you guys, you’re punctual, well prepared, and never give me grief, so I’m gonna warn you,” she says while Benny and Pope fill the packs with wares. Frankie and you are standing guard, keeping an eye on the beach. “The other guys, The Captain’s gang, they’ve noticed that someone’s taking customers, and they’re not happy.” 
“You still trade with them?” Benny asks and Jodie nods. 
“Yeah, of course, I’ll trade with anyone who’s fair, and they’ve been doing this for years now, always been decent. They had a slump but they were out here a couple of weeks ago.” 
“Did you tell them about us?” Pope asks, glancing up at Jodie, unable to hide his annoyance and she scowls at him.
“I’m not stupid, I didn’t say anything. But they asked, didn’t they? Asked if I’d been approached by another gang and I said no.” 
Pope closes his backpack and looks over at Frankie and you, you’re both still facing away from the ocean, but obviously listening to what Jodie’s saying. 
“Did they say how they know there’s someone else?” you ask over your shoulder. 
“One of your customers didn’t want what they usually trade, said they had another source.” 
“Fucking idiot,” you hear Frankie say under his breath and you have to agree. You’d asked all your customers to be discreet. Your excuse being that you didn’t want FEDRA to find out, but you also wanted to keep things low key until you were established enough to have a good deal to offer The Captain. The last thing you needed was a gang war, fighting over territory. 
“Thanks for the heads up, Jodie,” Benny says, hoisting his bag up onto his back. 
“Watch your backs, they seem pretty pissed,” she gives the four of you a final wave as you turn back towards the city. 
Jodie’s warning makes you extra cautious when you leave the QZ, but you didn’t expect them to find you inside the QZ. Benny makes the door frame rattle as he slams the front door to the apartment as he and Frankie come in. You and Pope jump to your feet from the couch at the sight of the two men.
“What happened?” you gasp, gently taking Frankie’s chin in your hand and tilting it up so that you can get a better lock at the gash over his eyebrow. 
“We got fucking jumped,” Frankie growls, wincing as you brush hair from his forehead, it’s got stuck in the dried blood that’s smeared across his face. 
“The Captain’s gang,” Benny expands, “must’ve followed us into that warehouse down by the high line we were planning on checking out. Five of them, think I lost a fucking tooth,” he grimaces and grabs his jaw. 
Pope’s peeled off to the bathroom and now he returns with the first aid kit, pointing both men to the couch. 
“They even said, and I shit you not, ‘regards from The Captain’ before they attacked, like we’re in fucking West Side Story or something,” Benny snorts, wincing when the movement makes blood drip from his split lip. 
“Any internal injuries?” you ask Frankie as you help him take his jacket and holster off, he’s grimacing as his shoulder twists. 
“No, I don’t think so, they got a couple of good hits in, but that was it. One guy slammed me shoulder first into a wall, but I didn’t dislocate it.” 
“Please tell me you took care of these fuckers,” Pope growls while you grab alcohol and gauze to clean Frankie’s cut.  
“One got a way, which is good I suppose, sends a warning to the others,” Benny says, “the other four we eliminated.” 
“Gun fight?” Pope asks and Benny nods. 
“We had to-fuck! Be careful!” he yelps when Pope prods a cut on his forearm. “I want her to do it,” he points to you, “better bedside manner.” 
“Just shut up and tell us what happened,” Pope says, rolling his eyes at Benny’s wincing. 
“We had to run,” Frankie says, “Only one of them had a gun, which was lucky, but a FEDRA patrol obviously heard the shots and we had to bolt. Didn’t even get a chance to get a good look at the warehouse or what they’d were carrying.” 
“How did they know it was you?” you ask, “It’s worrying if they know what we look like, we won’t be safe in the QZ.” 
“Someone we traded with must’ve told them, Benny does stick out, easy to recognise.” Pope holds up his hands apologetically when Benny protests, “sorry, but it’s true, you’re a huge blonde dude, not many guys are built like you.”
“We’ve got a trade in three days, outside the QZ,” you remind them, “we’ll have to be extra careful, this is a new trade too, it could be a set up.” 
“You wanna cancel?” Frankie grabs your hand as it comes down from his forehead, his eyebrows knitted together in that familiar worried look. Glancing over at Benny and Pope you think it over, if you said you wanna cancel it you know they’d go with it, somehow you’ve become the one who says yes or no on a trade, trusting your gut instinct implicitly. 
“No, this connection came from Jodie, I can’t see her setting us up,” you decide eventually, “but maybe we take a different route this time?” 
“Sounds like a smart idea,” Pope agrees, “I’ll have a look at the map.” 
You turn back to Frankie and clean up his knuckles, they’ve split where he’s hit someone, and place bandaids on the larger cuts. When you’re done he wraps his bandaged arm around your waist and pulls you closer on the couch, enough for him to bury his face into the crook of your neck. You can feel him inhaling deeply as his hand fists the back of your shirt and you dip your nose to his soft curls, sweaty and kinda dusty smelling from the day. 
“I’m glad you came back in one piece, Frankie,” you mumble and he nods against your neck, pulling you tighter. He doesn’t have to say anything, you know why he does it, a silent thank you offered to the universe for letting him return home to you one more time. 
One of the first things you traded Jodie for, in exchange for a large, brand new sail, were two walkie talkies. Battery powered, they were invaluable if you needed to split up. And today, with the new trade going down, they served their purpose. And in light of the new situation with the rival smugglers, Pope led you all out of a different tunnel, a detour, but worth it to minimize the risk, and bringing you out at 125th Street Station. You were meeting your new contacts at a nearby park down by the river and since your first meeting with Jodie you’d worked out a system where one of you stayed behind and kept watch from afar. Pope knew the city best and he would suggest a spot for a trade where he knew there’d be a good vantage point for someone to keep an eye on things. This morning youcame out early to the meet up point, taking time to make sure the lookout point was clear before the three men left you up there with one of the walkie talkies and a rifle. You weren’t the best shot, but you didn’t really need to be. So far everything trade had been smooth, but if things did go bad, a few shots from a hidden sniper would make anyone run for cover, whether or not you hit them. But the real advantage was that you were able to give the guys a bird’s eye view of the area and a head’s up if something seemed off, your gut instinct serving you well. 
This morning all of you were on edge, the attack on Frankie and Benny making you extra nervous. It was difficult to say if it was the knowledge that The Captain’s gang was after you that made you jumpy, or if something was wrong with the trade. You’re splayed flat on your belly at the edge of a broken window in the half bombed out apartment tower, using the scope on the rifle in place of binoculars, those being next on your list of things you were hoping to trade Jodie for. Nothing stirs in the wide open park next to the river and when you scan the streets you can see from your perch, everything is quiet. You watch the three men make their way down a street and into the park, disappearing briefly from view before they reach the agreed upon location. In the distance, on the other side of the park, you see two men walking across and you relay what you see to Frankie, he’s got the other radio today. 
The trade goes off without a hitch and you watch as the two men retreat across the park, back towards the small White Plains QZ that’s up north. It’s when you swing the scope back towards Frankie and the others that you see it. Three men crouching behind a car further down the street your guys are walking down. Fumbling for the radio you hit the button. 
“Catfish, three men hidden behind a white SUV about a block and half down the street. Over.” 
“Copy that, Jefa.” 
Jefa
 The call sign they’d given you still made you roll your eyes, and was only ever allowed to be used in situations when your real name shouldn’t be used. It had been Pope’s idea, of course, but Benny loved it and Frankie conceded that he couldn’t call you ‘cariño’ over the radio or in front of traders. So Jefa, boss, it was. 
You didn’t feel very bosslike as you watched them slowly walk down the street, you could see Frankie telling them about the three men. At the next crossing they turned down a side street and you lost sight of them. 
“Jefa, we’re going to flank them, let me know if they move. Over” Frankie’s voice came over on the radio almost as soon as they disappeared from view, you could hear them running along the street. 
“Ok, I’ve got eyes on them, they’re still stationary. Over.”  
Frankie clicks the button on the radio and follows Pope’s back down the street, Benny close behind. There’s a small neighborhood park, a ballpark only really, at the back of the block and they cut across it, quickly covering two blocks parallel to the main street they were on. It’s only a few minutes before they turn back towards the street again and they slow down, moving silently. They come out just below the black SUV, expecting to see the three men but the street is empty. 
Frankie brings up the radio, “Jefa, come in, did they move? We can’t see them. Over.” He clicks the receive button and waits for a response while Pope and Benny quickly scan the street.
 “Jefa, come in, do you copy? Over.” Only static comes back over the radio and lead drops into his belly. His eyes meet Pope’s at the same time as the realization hits, decoy. Benny curses under his breath and looks towards the tower, while Frankie tries the radio one more time, already starting to run towards the building. 
“Loop the chain around it, it’ll hold her,” the voice comes from far away as you blink your eyes open in the darkness. “The captain’s gonna see her when he gets back.” The voice, a grumpy sounding man’s voice, retreats and you hear a door closing and locking. The back of your head hurts, as does the side of your face and the side of your ribs. 
You’d heard them just a couple of seconds before they were on you, in the tower, someone’s shoe scuffed against the floor and you turned, but you weren’t fast enough to get off the floor. As you blink again, trying to shake the darkness around you, you feel the handcuffs around your wrists, and a chain rattles. It takes a few more seconds before you realize you’ve got a hood over your head, the scratchy material making your nose itch. The world is tilted sideways and it takes you a few tries to get upright, the handcuffs are tight behind your back. You wobble, almost tipping backwards, but a wall stops you from falling and you gratefully lean against it, trying to collect your thoughts, stopping the panic from rising in your throat. 
Breath, in and out, stay calm, always number one, stay calm. Fuck, easier said than done, Frankie.
Focusing on your breathing, mentally going through your body to check for any serious injuries, you suppress the panic to the pit of your stomach, making you feel nauseous but it’s manageable. For now. 
You don’t know how long you’re left sitting on the floor, you really need to pee, so it’s probably a pretty long time. When the door finally opens you’re stiff, hungry, pissed off and not happy about the rough hands that suddenly yank you off the floor. It takes all your willpower to not snap at whoever is shoving you through the door, a hard grip on your shoulder, an equal measure of anger and fear making your legs jellylike. 
The air feels raw and it smells like you’re in a basement, being taken down a hallway, up some stairs and into a warmer room. Through the tight weave of the hood you see the light change, this room is brighter than the room downstairs that you were kept in, and it smells like food, making your stomach grumble 
“This the lookout?” a man asks from behind you. 
“Yeah, she was right where you said they’d put someone, perfect view of the park. Had a rifle and a radio.” 
“Nothing if not predictable,” the first man says, as he moves through the room, you hear the springs of a couch or chair squeak as he sits down. “Who are you working for?” he asks. 
It takes you a few seconds to respond, something is triggering at the back of your mind, the rough, low cadence, the accent so familiar. 
“I don’t work for anyone,” you reply eventually, “I was just asked to be a lookout for a few hours, easy ration cards.” It’s a weak lie, but you’re not about to give them any more information than they obviously already have and your answer seems to have given the man food for thought as he doesn’t reply straight away. 
“Let’s show her some good faith,” he says, talking to someone else in the room, “Get some water and some of the leftover rice.” There’s a word of protest from behind you but he cuts them off, “What’s she gonna do? She’s handcuffed and hooded, let’s treat her nice.” 
The door opens and closes as someone leaves. The man left in the room gets off the couch and comes over to you, you flinch as you feel his hand grab the hood. He pulls it off and you blink against the sudden bright light. 
“Holy shit, it is you
” the man whispers and as you see his blue eyes it hits you, the voice, the cadence, William Miller. 
You lose your voice as tears well up in your eyes and Will puts his hand on your cheek, partly checking the cut you most likely have there, but also almost checking to see if you’re real. And you could ask the same of him, if your voice wasn’t cut off by a sob. His smile is watery too and he makes you stumble as he suddenly pulls you into a bear hug, so reminiscent of his brother’s hugs.
“I can’t believe it’s you, you’re here, how the fuck are you here?” he asks incredulously, pulling back from you and you grin, trying to swallow down another sob. 
“I’m with Benny,” you choke out, “And Frankie and Pope.” 
“Benny’s alive?” Will eyes go wide, he’s holding on to you with both hands on your arms, “he’s here in New York?” 
“He was with me this morning. They all were and- “ you’re cut off by the sound of boots in the hallway and Will throws the hood over your head again. “You don’t know me,” he hisses before stepping back and you’re left confused as the door opens again. 
“We’ll take her down again, let her eat, and then I’m sure we’ll be able to come to an agreement,” Will says, his voice sounding rough again, giving an order to the other man. Will’s hand takes hold of your arm, turning you around and you’re marched back the way you came, downstairs and into the damp smelling room. 
“Take off her cuffs, chain her to the radiator, so that she can eat.” Will leaves you standing in the middle of the room but before he lets go and leaves, he gives your arm a quick squeeze. The other man locks a chain around your ankle and removes your handcuffs, leaving the hood on while he leaves the room. 
It’s good that he does because you don’t think you’d be able to contain the grin on your face. Will is alive! William fucking Miller, alive and well in New York! And a smuggler
that thought hits you like a brick, Will is a smuggler, and Benny, Frankie and Pope have been taking out his guys, his friends. And Will caught onto that faster than you did, that’s why he put the hood back on. Whoever the other guys are, they won’t forgive you or the guys for stomping in on their territory and killing their guys. Even if it is Will’s brother. And Will knows that. 
“This could get really fucking messy,” you whisper under your breath as you pull off the hood and sink down on the floor again. 
Again you’re left on your own for several hours, the sun moves outside the small window high up on the wall, sinking low before it goes dark outside. Your thoughts keep flitting between joy at Will being alive and how happy the others will be when they find out, and worry about your three guys, Frankie especially. You know they’ll be in the process of tearing up the city to find you, putting their considerable talents to use to force information from anyone who might have some.
There’s a bare bulb in the room and at some point someone turns it on, casting yellow light over you. More hours pass and you start to wonder if you’ve been forgotten down here, or if something’s happened to Will. You’re also half expecting Frankie and the guys to burst in, guns blazing, in some wild rescue mission. Falling asleep is impossible, you’re too anxious, so when you finally hear footsteps outside the door, you’re already on your feet. The door opens and Will steps in, closing it softly behind him. A few quick steps and he envelops you in another bear hug, longer this time, and you can finally put your own arms around him too. He’s just as big and imposing as the last time you saw him, almost six years ago, a little bit more tired around the eyes, a few more silver strands in the blonde hair and you give yourself a few seconds to just enjoy the fact that he’s alive and here. He seems to do the same, holding on to you for a long minute before he finally lets go and steps back. 
“It’s so good to see you, Will! I kept thinking it was a dream all day, but you’re actually here,” you say, grinning down at him as he crouches to unlock the chain around your ankle. 
“Same, I kept thinking I was being delusional,” he chuckles softly and stands up, “When I heard your voice under the hood, I immediately thought of Frankie, that’s how I knew it was you.” 
“You were faster than I was, I heard your accent and I couldn’t figure out who it reminded me of,” you smile, poking his chest just to make sure he’s real again. “You look good, Miller!”
He smiles but it drops off his face as something hits him, “You said you’re with Frankie, Pope and Benny?” 
“Yeah, we got to New York a few weeks ago.”
“And Hannah?” 
His question hits you like a punch to the gut, you can’t stop tears welling up in your eyes, you have to shake your head and drop your eyes, you can’t look at him as the realization sinks in. 
“Do you know what happened?” he asks, his voice low and you force yourself to nod, the image of Hannah in Benny’s arms flooding your mind as you feel tears run down your cheeks. Will suddenly pulls you into a hug and you press your face to his chest. He’s holding you almost too tight, and you hear him inhale deeply, a long, ragged intake of breath, before he exhales and lets go of you. 
“Tell me later, when you can tell me everything. I need to get you out of here now,” his voice is rough but determined, “I want you back with Frankie before he kicks down my door with a shotgun.” 
“Yeah, probably a good idea,” you reply, your voice shaky but you swallow down the tears, hastily wiping your cheeks as Will goes for the door. Making sure the coast is clear he waves you forward and silently you make your way down the hall and up the stairs. It looks as if you’re in an old office of sorts, long hallways, conference rooms on the sides. The place is dark, only the dim light from the outside comes through in places, but Will knows his way. He leads you to what looks like a backdoor. 
“I can’t leave, it’ll raise too many questions,” he says when the two of you reach the door. “Where do you live? I’ll come find you guys tomorrow.” 
He opens the door and glances outside, stepping out a second later. You hear a door behind you open as you follow Will out, and Will grabs your arm, pulling you out fast. 
“What the fuck?!” comes an angry, gruff voice, “What the fuck is going on, captain?” 
“Nothing, Conway,” Will says quickly, “Go back to your shift, our guest wasn’t feeling well, I’m taking her out for some air.” 
The man looks you up and down and back to Will, he’s got his hand on your arm, still holding the door open and you’re frozen, staring at the man. 
“Where are her fucking handcuffs?” He takes a few steps towards the door and Will squeezes your arm, and you take a step back. 
“Turn around, Conway, and go back to your shift, that’s an order, I’ve got her.” Will’s voice is solid, clearly in command, but it doesn’t work on the man .
“You’re either about to fuck her or let her go,” he says, another step towards the door, “and if you’re doing the first, I want in,” he leers at you, “If you’re doing the second, then we’ve got a big fucking problem, captain.” 
“I’m just letting her get some air, now turn around and walk away, Conway.” 
“She’s got air now, so bring her back in then,” he challenges, he’s at the threshold now, only a step away from Will. 
“Conway,” Will says, taking half a step back and glancing back at you, “You really should know when to walk away.” The punch comes out of nowhere, Will swings and hits Conway’s jaw with a sharp crack and the man drops, his head making a nasty thud on the floor just inside the door. Will shakes out his fist and bends to grab the man’s limp body. “Get the top of that dumpster,” he says, motioning further down the alley, and you run over, pushing the lid back as Will grabs the man and tosses him over his shoulder. Whatever happened to Will in the past six years, it certainly hadn’t impacted his brute physical strength, he barely makes a noise as he hoists the man into the metal container and you slide the lid shut. 
“Ok, wait at the end of the alley, stay out of sight. If I’m not back in five, go home, I’ll find you there.” 
You nod and make your way over as Will disappears inside the building again. You wait anxiously in the shadows by the street but it doesn’t take long for Will to come back out. This time he’s got a jacket on, a backpack and your own backpack, gratefully you take it from him and the rifle he hands you. 
“Let’s go,” he says, stepping out into the street. 
“Are you leaving them?” you ask in a whisper as you follow him, nodding at the backpack and his gear. 
“Yeah, I’ll tell you more later but it’s been coming on for a while, I’ve been wanting to punch Conway for months.” Will pulls a disgruntled face as you hurry through the quiet streets. There’s a curfew in effect as usual and you stay in the small alleys, hurrying across any avenues. You’re pretty far from the Upper West Side and it takes you over an hour to make your way back, Will telling you bits and pieces of what’s been going on while you duck in and out of shadows. 
“I got reports a few hours ago, the guys took out four more of my guys, they’re trying to find you”, Will says as you skirt around Central Park. 
“We were taking out your guys, Will,” you say, “Aren’t you pissed at us? We basically came in and started taking over your business.”
“Not pissed, just annoyed,” Will looks over at you and shrugs, “you did what I’ve done many times over, I have no right to be mad at anyone coming in and trying to take over the smuggling. I did the same thing, only I was successful. And since then, there’s been several attempts at trying to take over from me.” Will gives a low chuckle, “I’ve got to say, no one has come as close as you guys, you put a real dent in my operation, I was getting worried. The fucking irony of it being you and the guys, my own fucking baby brother.” 
You can’t help but smile, Will has a point, the guys had used their Delta Force tactics against the one person who really would know how to counter them. That’s how Will had known there’d be someone in the apartment tower. 
“And now they’re trying to find you, and I can’t blame them,” Will says as you stop and crouch, waiting for a FEDRA patrol to drive past. “I wouldn’t wanna get between Frankie and you. I’m assuming he’s as crazy about you as always?” Even in the dim light you can see Will’s smile. 
“We got married,” you say, holding up your left hand, “not in a ceremony of anything, just registered as husband and wife with FEDRA.” 
“Congratulations,” Will grins, “but I have to say, kinda disappointed I wasn’t invited to the wedding.” 
“Dumbass,” you smile at him and he chuckles silently, “c’mon, the apartment is just down this street.” 
You see dim lights on in the building as you approach. “We’ll check at Benny and Pope’s place first, they might all be there,” you say as you let the two of you into the brownstone. Will only nods and you wonder what kind of emotions are running through his head, only minutes away from seeing his baby brother for the first time in almost six years. 
You give a low knock on the front door and by the speed it’s opened, you know they weren’t sleeping. Pope yanks the door open, he must’ve looked through the peephole because he grabs you and hugs you before you even have time to react, he doesn’t even notice Will standing slightly to the side behind you. 
“Pope,” you protest weakly, “I’ve brought someone, get Benny.” You feel Pope’s arms fall from you and as you look up you catch the look on his face as he spots Will. 
“Dios mío
” he breathes and Will grins as Pope looks as if he’s seen a ghost. 
“Who is it?” you hear Benny call from inside and you quickly grab Will and pull him inside the door, forcing Pope to back up so that you can close the door. This is going to get noisy.
“Benny!” Pope shouts, stepping forward and grabbing Will into a hug, “you’re never fucking gonna believe who it is!” 
“Who?” Benny calls back from the kitchen, he sounds tired and annoyed as he steps out, Frankie behind him, looking even worse than Benny sounds. 
It takes Benny several seconds to register who he’s looking at, the two men staring at each other across the room until Will moves, stepping away from Pope and grabbing Benny. 
“Come here, baby bro,” he chokes as Benny throws his arms around him, a strangled growl coming from his throat. 
“How?” Benny splutters, his face buried in his brother’s shoulder, “How and how the fuck!?” He pulls away, grabbing Will’s face between his hands, “Where the fuck have you been?!”
“I could ask the same of you,” Will chuckles, his voice thick with emotions as he seems to just take in the sight of Benny’s face. “It’s good to see you again, baby bro, I didn’t think I would.” 
“I never gave up on you,” Benny says, grabbing Will into a hug again, “I never fucking gave up on you.” 
You put your arms out to Frankie as you see him and he’s on you with a few long steps, pulling you into his arms, his lips finding yours in an instant. 
“We’ve been looking for you all over the city,” he mumbles, pulling back a little to run his thumb gently over the cut on your cheek. 
“I know, and we have a lot of catching up to do,” you reply as his hands tugs you closer to him, his nose bumping against yours. 
“Fish, give me a hug, I got your wife back for you,” Will says, letting go of Benny and enveloping both you and Frankie in a hug, Frankie grabs his shoulder and they bump their foreheads together. 
“I owe you everything, brother,” Frankie says, locking eyes with Will, “It’s so fucking good to see you, you’ve got to tell us everything.” 
It’s a long story and Will tells it as Pope makes coffee and Frankie cleans your cuts. 
“From the beginning?” Will asks, and Benny nods. 
“Yeah, from the beginning, outbreak day, what happened to you? I went to your office, it went up in flames.” 
“When it all started going crazy, my phone died, I couldn’t get hold of any of you and I was thinking I’d just stay put in the office until it calmed down,” Will sinks down on the couch next to Benny, "But then the coffee shop, the one on the first floor, caught fire and we all got told to leave. It was chaos on the street outside and I tried getting behind the building to stay out of sight. But then I saw Emma, you know the barista you always used to flirt with Ben?” Ben nods and Will continues, “I saw her through the window, she got trapped by the fire, behind the counter so I had to get her out, got the back door open and managed to pull her out. But I think something collapsed, I don’t remember too well. All I know it hurt like a bitch and then I woke up in a triage tent somewhere, I got pretty badly burnt.” Will pulls up the sleeve of his t-shirt and shows the painful looking scarring on his shoulder. 
“Fuck, that looks gnarly,” Ben says, leaning forward and running his fingers over his brother’s skin
“It goes down my back too, took fucking forever to heal.” Will lets his shirt drop back down, “They were gonna leave me in the local medical camp but I got lucky, you guys remember Colonel Middleton?” He looks over at Frankie and Pope who both nod. 
“Yeah, from that fuck up in Yemen,” Pope says, “worst fucking officer I’ve ever met.” 
“Well, he came through for me, he got me on a chopper to D.C, they had a burn unit still up and running there, military only. I was out of it for the most part but they patched me up. By the time I was able to stand up without the skin on my back falling off, it had all gone to shit. QZ:s going up everywhere, all the major cities bombed, including Arlington and D.C.” 
He leans forward and puts his elbows on his knees, looking at Pope, Frankie and you, “I tried finding you guys, but I couldn’t get back to Arlington and then Middleton offered to get me to NYC, help rebuild. I
” Will’s head drops down, “I needed a distraction, a purpose, to keep going
” He turns his head and looks back at Benny who’s grabbed his arm, “I’m sorry, Benny, I should’ve looked harder for you, and for Hannah.” 
At the mention of Hannah’s name, Benny shrinks, the big man visibly sinking lower in his seat as his eyes go dark, it makes your heart ache and you feel Frankie take your hand, squeezing it tight. 
“I know she didn’t make it, Benny,” Will says, “it’s ok, I knew it was a long shot to hope that she was still alive. I just wanna know how she died.” 
Benny’s jaw goes tight and you feel tears pressing up hot in your eyes, Pope’s exhaling slowly behind you and the silence seems to stretch indefinitely. 
“Things in Arlington got bad,” you hear Frankie say, he’s looking at Benny who can’t seem to take his eyes off his shoes, “There was this guy, head of FEDRA there, who got power hungry. He had men around him who kept him in power thanks to the favors they got from him.Things started rumbling and Hannah got caught up in it, defending a kid.” Frankie stops and shakes his head, he’s struggling and he looks at you for help but Benny speaks up. 
“She got taken to FEDRA lock up, Will,” Benny’s eyes are back on his brother, “and they killed her,” a sob racks his chest, a sharp inhale and Will’s arm goes around him, you can see his knuckles white from the grip on Benny’s shoulder. 
“But we got them, we killed the ones who did it, Will, and I, we all, put her to rest, she wasn’t alone and I said goodbye for you too, I said goodbye for us both. I made sure she knew.”
Benny’s shoulders shake and you know he sees in his mind the same as you, Hannah’s body, just before Frankie and Pope wrapped her, bent over her face, whispering into her ear, before carrying her to the fire.
Frankie’s arm pulls you into his chest as the sobs overtake you, Santi pulling you both in closer as Will seems to have a battle raging inside him. 
“You got them?” he asks quietly.  
“Yeah, we got them all,” Pope says, his voice rough. 
“Ok.” 
Will’s head remains low between his shoulders for several long minutes, Benny inhales deeply and Will looks over at him. 
“I know you took care of her, Benny, I’m grateful it was you.” He sighs and drags both hands over his face, rough stubble scraping against his palms, “I need air, I need to process, I’ll be back in a bit.” 
“I’m coming’ with you,” Benny says, standing up at the same time as his brother, and Will nods, his jaw still tight. 
“I’ll see you guys in the morning, alright?” he nods to the three of you, still on the couch. 
After Will and Benny have left, you slump back against Frankie, you feel drained. It’s early morning, and the stress of the day is finally catching up with you. Frankie senses your fatigue and gently pushes you up off the couch.
“C’mon, hermosa, time to sleep,” he says, wrapping his arm around your waist to hold you steady against him. 
“Sleep well, Santi,” you say and he nods, he looks drained too. 
“Sleep well, hermana, let Frankie spoil you, ok?” 
“I always do,” Frankie replies and leads you out the door. 
Back in your own apartment you pull your clothes off and collapse on the bed, not even bothering to wash off. Frankie falls into bed next to you, tugging you tight against his chest, his arm as your pillow. 
“You scared me,” he whispers, lips pressed against your forehead. 
“I’m sorry,” you mumble back, “I knew you were looking for me though,” your nose buried in his sparse chest hair, tickling you as you speak. He’s tugging the covers up over you both and you tangle your legs with his. 
“I’d never stop looking, cariño, you know that, right?” He’s got his arms properly wrapped around you now, his nose skimming over your cheek in the darkness, you can feel his lips brush over yours as you turn your face up towards him. 
“I know, I’d never stop looking for you either, Frankie,” you whisper, finding his soft mouth and sinking into his kiss. It’s slow, warm and calm, letting you close your eyes and relax against him, his warm breath against your cheek as he pulls away and lets you fall asleep.  
Chapter 27
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