#post supportively abt trans people
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this might be a controversial opinion but i think we unnecessarily platform terfs way too much. people cant even make a fun harmless trans post without people jumping on to be like "yeah, fuck terfs!" and its like. severely not about that at all
tumblr terfs love attention. they feed off of it, ESPECIALLY negative attention which is what some of yall are constantly giving them. if you dont want them interacting with your blog or w/e, thats fine, of course you dont! but everyone quietly blocking them while focusing on trans positivity would be way more beneficial than making the focus entirely about giving them the attention that theyre frothing at the mouth for
and frankly the focus on terfs takes away from conversations about casual transphobia that exists outside of just radical feminism. not everyone hides their transphobia under the guise of being a super feminist, and saying "fuck terfs" makes people feel like theyre above ever perpetuating transphobia, which is DEFINITELY not true
#maybe its time we replaced 'terfs dni' with 'trans safe' or 'trans positive' or something like that#idk ive never had terfs dni on my blog and i never have an issue with them interacting because i just#post supportively abt trans people#its that easy honestly#rant
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it's real interesting to me when self-proclaimed trans allies, or even other queer people, automatically and subconsciously refer to trans men and trans women as "they" in contexts where they don't to cis people
#based off of SO MANY comments online that do this‚ even when offering support to a trans person's page#and also my friend‚ whom i think is nonbinary‚ but could also just not care abt her gender enough to bother#(idk ive never asked)#who refers to me as they‚ and also a mutual trans friend who‚ unless he came out again in the last five years‚ is a dude#like it seems to be just as automatic as he or she is for cis men & women#i wish i could post this on a social media that any of them have access to‚ but I'm trying to be stealth so that ain't gonna fly lol#o.#trans#transgender#ftm#mtf#trans man#trans woman#transphobia#degendering#i don't even think they notice they're doing it either#like w my friend‚ i obv was referring to our mutual friend as he (since‚ again‚ he's a dude) and she didnt even seem to notice that she kep#saying they#and i know it's not a language issue or whatever bc all the rest of our friend group gets he no problem. coincidentally they are all cis.#anywayyyy#how to tell people to stop doing this without also outing myself to every other person whom i Didn't know pre-transition
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I don't actually have a strong sense of the aro/ace inclusionist tumblr cultural climate rn except like 'guyyys we were so mean to them :( let's let them in now come on' or like....really agressive and condescending posts asserting their validity and ~obvious~ inclusion in the lgbt community without any genuine followthrough or explanation
#I was so good staying out of this shit for so long but WHATEVER#im makong posts now#a lot of them are styled off the posts that talk abt like transmisogyny but dont seem to exhibit a deeper understanding#of the social phenomena they're discussing#making it seem like ppl read short supportive sj posts for marginalized groups and then directly co-opt that language#I remember when ppl were trying to make a word for aroace exclusion modeled off terf#and like. stop trying to ride the coattails of advocates against transmisogyny trans women deserve better than that#aroace people are of course valid! but leave trans women alone!#and lgbt ppl honestly and women in general too like the amount of homophobia and victim blaming I've seen is godawful#cor.txt
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im well aware that its profoundly cringe to admit to this publicly, alright, but sometimes i just stop to think and realize.. literally my entire life would be radically different if i hadnt been into homestuck when i was 14. like, i would not have had some of the fundamentally important relationships that shaped the way my teen years and young adulthood went. and due to this i would not be living in this home. i would not have the same friends today. i would have been in very different social circles and mightve evolved very differently as a person. i literally might not be alive - i have had my life quite literally saved by friends who i met or bonded with through being into this shitty comic, and by literally i mean was physically prevented from dying last minute. like thats crazy?? and all over homestuck????
#97#i need to meet the version of me who lives in a dimension where i never read homestuck lol#cause thatd be fascinating to see#homestuck tw#(jic)#hmm yeah this was not meant to be rbed. gonna turn that off rq..#this is yet another one of those posts i dont want ppl reblogging bc im talking abt trying to kms haha. like thats what i was talking about#how is it every single time i make a post abt that stuff and dont set it to non rebloggable it ends up on somebodys blog lol#other butterfly effect stuff i thought of:#if i hadnt gotten particularly close w two friends one of whom i met thru homestuck and both of whom i bonded w over it#i mightve stuck closer to other friends i had at the time w whom i did a lot of drinking and smoking at 14#and considering my proclivities and mental illness i mightve had a serious addiction early on#i also mightve never gone to art school if i hadnt been v encouraged to pursue art by spending years doing hs fanart#mightve not come out as trans when i did if i didnt have the online support of trans people many of whom i met thru hs#and the irl support of ppl i also met thru hs who came out as trans bc i did#would have not been in relationships w some people ive dated#and bc of such major things that came out of me being into that dumb comic every other little thing wouldve been different too#the me from a non-hs timeline is likely unrecognizable to me!
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a little vent
#at this point i couldnt care less abt the 3 season annoucement for good omens#i still love this show its just i dont want to support it anymore#knowing neil is a zionist and micheal as well#same goes for that colleen duran who made the graphic novel. rip to people who cant get their money back from that kickstarter#and also i know that david tennant doesnt have social media but he has shown inthe past hes able to show support publicly#for example for trans people#and now hes silent#hes like. one of the most popular actors of all time. and hes silent?? im sorry why is it that a complete#no name like me. speaks out more against israel and the genocide theyre doing in Palestine. and somebody with such a big platform#(as in popularity) cant even say a single word???#even celebrities that think posting something on their story is enough: i despise them so much. you could be doing so much more. u have the#money. the fucking connections. and you think an instagram story is enough for you??#(not to mention the fact that georgia tennant liked some zionist bullshit..... and theyre married. im not saying he has the same views but#cmon. its very probable)
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"you don't have to get it" is a good first step but i do wish we could ask people to like, try to get it because maybe it's not actually as hard to understand as they think it is
#sorry i have so many opinions this morning and i apparently can't force myself to get off tumblr#but this was in response to a post abt people reacting to trans students in schools#like ok yeah no true you don't have to understand trans people in order to respect and support them#but also..... maybe it's not really that confusing and ur just being deliberately obtuse#because u were told as a child that it's immoral and you still haven't fully managed to unlearn that#because idk. i have a very easy time understanding why trans people might make certain choices#i think (fellow) cis people just aren't used to being expected to make the effort to understand (esp if they're also white)#but it truly isn't that confusing if u just listen to trans people they're so willing to explain it in great detail.....#i think 'i don't have to understand' is a cop out#u just don't want to understand because you're uncomfortable#bri babbles
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remember kids dont sub to r/mypartneristrans
#youll go into the top posts and see ppl being supportive of their trans partner and be like#oh hey cool this is a nice supportive place!!#and then the day-to-day posts are all just cis people circlejerking abt how its totally fine that theyre being transphobic as hell
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I'm 5 days Post-op from top surgery an my main takeaway is that maybe recovery is about the power of friendship, actually.
#ftm top surgery#personal post#something something community is always a huge part of the solution#anyways I am having a lot of feelings abt how well supported I am -- it's such a privledge#me . relying on people?????? and then BEING THERE?!?!?!?#i knew that in theory but 🥹#my silly lil brain#trans joy
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Also as much as I appreciate people who identify as queer and can be normal about people not wanting to be called that. I also feel like there is a fundamental difference in worldview that cannot be explained or truly understood. Like it’s not just about one word, it’s an entirely different way of thinking about gender and sexuality and oppression.
Like sure you can respect my wishes regarding the word itself (after being reminded many times in enough different ways). But my problem is with the way you perceive me that led you to initially think of me as queer. That takes a lot more deeply layered unlearning than a simple change in vocabulary.
And it’s clear in the way that queer people talk about *why* they think I don’t like that word, that they don’t understand where I’m actually coming from. I can explain over and over in a million words what Not Queer means to me and why it’s important, and they’ll reflect back almost exactly the opposite.
Because we’re thinking from entirely different viewpoints and life experiences. Thus me not identifying w queerness in the first place. Bc we are so fundamentally not the same
#like. the way some trans people feel that no cis person can truly understand them no matter how well intentioned#that’s how I feel abt this. there’s a world of difference in the way ppl approach it and that does not go unnoticed#but I don’t think I can ever be truly deeply understood by people who think so differently from me#to the extent that they don’t even comprehend the basics of what I’m saying. or even understand that they aren’t understanding it#I love that people are becoming receptive to it but it’s like talking to walls. just right over their heads#it’s very isolating and makes me want more separation from the community. which is a shame bc I do want pride in my community#and like. some of the closest most important people in my life identify w this. so it’s not like I can’t be extremely close w them#or like relate to them abt other things or see ourselves in each other etc.#but it makes it all the more isolating that even in the closest most supportive possible connection I could ever hope for#there is still a misunderstanding of who I am fundamentally. like there’s a maximum possible level of understanding#and ppl do reach that point w me. i think connecting w someone different from u is even more beautiful than thinking u have to be the same#it’s just. isolating bc it feels like one of the only identities that inherently can’t understand me#and it’s an identity that’s not only constantly surrounding me but also forced on Me myself#mine#txt#q slur#vent post
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i am so deeply sad :) and it just wont go away
#i tried looking for a therapist yesterday#i sweqr to god tho#they need to support my decision to stop speaking to my parents right off the bat or im gonna have a fucking episode#SORRY ive been posting here nearly every day its just i have NOTHING TO DO AT WORK#except sit here and think abt it#read abt the new transition ban in Russia yesterday#its awesome how people who dont know me hate what i am and wish me deas#i miss having a culture and a people#dont get me wrong i am so lucky and in love#my partner is amazing and my inlaws are amazing#but i miss having russians in my life#its just unfortunate the way theyre all ASSHOLES#i keep feeling guilty like im being overdramatic#im not in russia im not in danger#theres actually trans and gay ppl over there struggling to survive#im safe here in canada#just#the Knowledge#its heavy#it weighs on my heart#im not alone but i feel so alone#its so fucking stupid bc i havent been able to run crying to mama since i was literally like 12#its been 13 years of a messed up relationship#but the grief is hitting me in full now
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!!!!!!!!!!!
Biggest psych nerd pet peeve is when people use mental discorders inaccurately. For example people saying a character has DID without looking into it (ie. the only trauma they’d ever experienced was an adult, which is not grounds for being diagnosed with DID) instead of any of the other dissociative disorders that very well could fit this character. I mean what
#THIS!!! IT BOTHERS ME... SO MUCH...#like yeah no hc characters however you want. but if its smthn like a mental disorder then pleasee make it accurate...#i wont lie this. reminded me of that “cross isnt trans” post that said one of his most likely diagnoses is did...#like. i don't remember what the maximum age for developing did is so like could you hc him as having did? possibly. considering his trauma#started when he was a child and was continuous (which i believe is one of the criteria for the development of did)#but like. aside from that#there is little in canon to suggest that diagnosis (unlike killer for example for whom the diagnosis would still be wrong but more#understandable why people think he has it) and thats not to aay you cant have headcanons that arent outright supported by canon material#but rather that that person was arguing about canonicity and plausibility/support in canon and in terms of that. they were wrong#anyway um main point is do your research everyone. portraying mental disorders and disabilities accurately is very important imo#accurately and in good faith#my adderall is kicking in so i wanna keep talking but if i do ill go massively off topic talking abt that one game#where the entire premise was like “bipolar bad” or smthn and it just came iff really insensitive#anyway yeah im gonna stop yapping ✌️#rebog
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Every now and again I am haunted by the fact I found the facebook of my 1st/2nd grade best friend. He moved away and I only found out when he didn't come back for another school year. We really loved Pokemon and when i checked his account despite everything we followed a similar path of interests. We probably could've stayed best friend had he not moved.
I wanna reach out but I also hesitate bc I dont wanna get overwhelmed with messages and ghost someone the moment i try to talk to them.
#i sent a friend request and he accepted#he also had a post abt supporting trans people#but idk if its that he recognized me or blinldy accepted
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i love you so much i love the way u talk abt trans men and our struggles i makes me feel so seen especially bc youre older than me, i want to be understood , keep posting please
THANK YOU !!
i appreciate that. i feel like nobody (aside from some very cool bloggers on here) is advocating for trans men anymore. like unless its a trans man talking about these issues, it just doesn't happen. nobody advocates on our behalf for the most part. everyone just leaves us to the weeds. we have to help each other because most people just don't even understand what trans men and mascs want. like it's absolutely positively insanity inducing
when i was in college, at my pride group, there were just. no conversations about trans men. at all. in fact. at the time i was beginning to realize i was a trans man but i couldn't find support or acknowledgement of transmasculinity anywhere. whenever i would participate in the conferences, and large group meetings for LGBTQ communities in our part of the country... I was forced into queer women's groups. i did not identify as a woman or bigender at that time. i asked them where a female-to-male genderqueer person should go, and they put me in every queer women's group. i was not being considered trans. i was being viewed as a cis butch lesbian.
i was fucking pissed.
i learned the word transgender and what it meant and the example that was given was male to female, which was informative. i heard a lot of things about feminine transition, drag queens, cis gay male culture, bisexuality, pansexuality, and even asexuality. i want you to know that my college's pride group in 2011 - 2012 was more accepting of asexual people than trans men, which is insane for that time frame. i was actually allowed to help with a presentation on asexuality
i had to go online and research trans men, though. there were none to be found in the group that were at least out and able to talk to each other. we were all very stealth and nervous. my long term friends there ended up being gay men, lesbians, and a transfem agender person. i never met a single trans man there. it was heartbreaking.
i am tired of participating in transmasculine silence. i will not participate in self-erasure. trans men are trans. we're men. we're mascs. we NEED support, community, and care. we need to learn how to access transition resources, to comfort each other, to laugh with each other, to help each other find what clothes make us feel like ourselves, to say each other's names and pronouns, to see one's self in the other.
we need people who will protect us from misgendering. we need to be able to talk about our unique issues. we need to be able to talk about how yes, we experience misogyny, but also that transandrophobia is literally a thing. we need people who will stand up for femme trans men and gay trans men. we need people who understand that it's not okay to call every single trans man a confused butch lesbian and assume that they're a queer cis woman. trans men can be butch lesbians and that's okay. but you can't rip away a trans man's manhood for the sake of being a catty asshole. it's misgendering. it's transphobia. care about being transphobic. transphobia hurts all trans people no matter where it's directed. we all lose when you opt to deny trans men and mascs the right to community.
i am transmasculine. i am a trans man. i love being a trans man. i'm not ashamed. i'm not going back in the closet. i love my transmasculine brothers and siblings. i will not silence them. silencing them is a disservice to us all. i refuse to do that to us.
thank you for sending this ask. stay safe, take care of yourself, you're an important part of the LGBTQ community, don't let anyone take that from you.
#asks#answers#transmasculine#trans man#trans men#trans guy#trans boy#ftm#tboy#transgender#trans#genderqueer#genderfluid#nonbinary#non binary#demiboy#boyflux#boyfluid#gay ftm#transmasc#about us#our writing
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BLOCK LIST
BIG LIST OF A BUNCH O PEEPS I BLOCKED
as well as why! i'll add on as i go!:)
we do NOT condone harassment, please just block.
includes: pro/endos, radqueer, transID, anti good faith, and more!! XP
first off, so were on the same page, what are these and why are they bad?
pro/endos: try to demedicalize a dissociative disorder, claim you can be a system without trauma, more info here 👉 [X] [X] (both are carrds that link multiple sources) (sorry they didnt save ill put it in later)
radqueer: these are people who transIDs (transage, transrace, etc. these people claim to identify as a different race or even pretend to "transition" into being disabled like transautistic) or ARE them.
anti good faith: good faith identities are basically identities made in good faith. this tends to encompass "contradictory" identities such as lesboys and other mspec identities. anti good faith people police gender and sexuality identities and invalidate these peoples experiences and try to exclude them from spaces or tell them what THEIR sexuality is. dont be misguided into thinking you're doing good if you exclude these people, its splitting up the lgbtq+ community, and thats what they (TERFs, anti-lgbtq+) want us to do.
now onto the blocklist!:)
radfems, TERFs, and transmeds
pach1-pach1 (deleted his dni but befor it was deleted it said that they support vivzie, are anti xenogenders and neoprns iirc, and anti good faith. a reply on my post abt telling ppl to block them also said theyre a transmed, so did another account. theyve also been seen harassing anti endos despite claiming to be it himself) (they own syspunk-is-anti-endo-losers as well)
radfem-vex
mint-fem
PRO/ENDO
boosystem
domni99
pluralpolls
youokaybro
plural-blocklist
eunoiasys
circulars-reasoning
citadelofmarks
inclusysboxes
thestarpletsystem
bunfart90
alterhuman-culture-is
interstellarsystem
bokuwaamdalla
brainmade-culture-is
fictive-culture-hub
navelgazed
pluralprompts
astrophale-and-fischl
syscourse101
aura-dragonfly
parsnipkit
phantomhunt
funnier-as-a-system
funnier-as-a-fictive
multiplicity-positivity
analog-transid (also transID, as implied in the name) (they run the blog alters-in-a-box which is one of those alter pack things)
freezingnarc
whore-hangout (its 18+ as implied keep yourself safe)
notteserver
cardsoffools (harassed me and told me to kms 🫶)
fools-temps (run by cardsoffools)
the-bride-and-the-ugly-ass-groom
RADQUEERS
stashys-radqueer-userboxes
1nklingsanitized
bisexualsafespace
radqueer-empire
maskaphiliax (also transID, also they have alfreds playhouse in their banner so please be safe)
ANTI GOOD FAITH
kowalapantheon (also a.. "plural aligned singlet?") (headmate blogs are nonexistent-loli, trans-obsessive-love-disorder, ex-harmful-transpeaceful)
forced-silence (18+, lots of violence, please beware on their page)
zomb-bunny (also think they harassed someone??? i cant remember or find the post)
starry-city-sys
endopropoganda
parxgender (also ace exclusive, anti pan/omni, and anti mogai)
yourfavehatesmspeclesbians (because god forbid someone have a complex relationship with gender and sexuality.)
mspobjects
the-party-city
pollingsystems (also doesnt believe in transandrophobia. wtf.)
OTHER
anti-lies (spreads misinformation that can be paranoia-inducing)
theinfernalcollective (claims that bullying isnt valid enough to be a system) (TRAUMA IS TRAUMA.)
disys (same as above)
permababy (transID, doesnt label themself as radqueer but does reblog it)
problema-non-grata (pro transID discourse blog)
thefakersystem (demonizes systems and those with personality disorders, anti good faith, fakeclaimer (literally, fakeclaims EVERYONE.) harasses people minding their own business, overall the worst asshole i think ive ever blocked. dear fucking lord.)
cringey-systems (dumbbb dumb baby fakeclaimer doesnt think systems are real dumb idiot baby man who reblogs systems and calls them fake because they have no life ♡)
ALTER PACKS
(people who make ID packs for people to "create" their own headmates, all are pro endo, radqueer, and transID)
build-a-headmate
alterpacks
headmatestickerbook
naris-alter-shop
brainpal-gachapon
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dembly you argue in bad faith, you knowingly and meaningfully use cruel judgmental language to talk about other trans women in so many public situations over the years, you move the goalposts and cry victim and shout "no You're being mean to Me!" any time anyone points out this behavior, and you still try to claim ignorance even tho ppl have explained to you gently, even kindly, multiple times how your words hurt and the effect they have when combined with your blindly following audience.
and still you turn these followers against people like a mean girl commanding goonies, and still you say stuff like "isnt it good to be normal" one post behind "you girls are too weird." i genuinely hope you stop posting. i mean i expect your "private" personal blog will be full of vitriol or petty ideas but thats your business i suppose. just stop bringing other, impressionable trans people into your toxic orbit.
the reason we get to know and support and love each other online, as trans girls and such on here, is because we listen and share in our niche interests and get excited about things we don't know and listen with interest to learn abt and experience them. we are all mentally ill here, truly, but we're mostly working hard to be good friends and grow our social and media knowledge bit by bit, recapitulating all the chances to make friends and be understood and boosted and wanted that we never got before we were girls. it feels good, it turns out. it's really nice.
as a blogger who purposefully culminated a huge following based on sending asks and perceiving u as a micro-celebrity, u could have used yr platform to broadcast that message, of interest in different hobbies and personalities, of patience with girls who are more blunt or dont know boundaries yet, of always supporting selfies bc we all always look pretty, of trans women loving trans women. but since you transitioned youve just been biting and tearing, setting yourself apart from other girls, using language that the majority of us are clearly offended by, and calling us crazy for feeling that way. while still boosting a Brand. it's that which ill never forgive you for. im sick of it. go away
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Still hung up on that “culturally appropriating transfems” nonsense but since im in a bitter mood let’s talk about “”””appropriating”””” niche in-group signifiers. Let’s talk about the prevalence of “girlthing” as a new transfem-exclusive self description, about the “all trans girls have a secret other gender they only reveal to other trans girls” thing, about the “binary trans woman is a dogwhistle bc no transfem is truly binary” posts. Let’s talk abt all those paired with these people’s absolute disdain for ever associating themselves with nonbinary people. Nonbinary people just describing ourselves are obviously doing so to make transfems seem ‘less cool’ bc our genders couldn’t possibly be about US, but then they turn around and make post after post about how nobody outside their little group has ever known the depths and nuances of gender. But don’t you dare insinuate they’re not 100% fully woman nothing else. They’re only nonbinary when convenient to shut us up but never when they have to support us. And you can tell how performative it is bc any transfems who dare to describe their not-fully-woman gender in a way that doesn’t adhere to the pre-approved little memes gets immediately excluded or misgendered bc “girlthing” is basically just girl but “male woman” is hatecrimeing them by proxy. It’s so fucking blatant that only one group here treats gender identity and presentation outside the binary as purely aesthetic virtue signalling and it’s not the ‘TME genderfucks’ lmao.
(Same anon who sent the ask about the hypocrisy of so many of these blogs loving nonbinary memes when it suits them but being wildly exorsexist and hostile to any notion of solidarity with non-transfem nonbinary people, wanted to emphasise that this isn’t a transfem-specific issue, just a really obnoxious pattern with a lot of these TME/TMA people and that I don’t believe this is “”””culturally appropriating”””” nonbinary people or anything. I would actually agree that the line between binary and nonbinary trans identities is blurry for many of us! Hence why the double standards going around frustrate me so much! Sorry for the rambling I hope this made sense)
I'm torn because I don't think it's great to do what they do and insinuate their non-binary identity is superficial or fake in some way but it does really gall me how they rake me personally over the coals for calling myself a male woman while doing this shit. Ultimately they are non-binary if they say they are and we shouldn't be trying to prove they're the ones doing non-binaryism wrong, but the way they treat others is startlingly hypocritical, not because they're more fake but because none of their beliefs about "TME genderfucks" stems from any real viewpoints on being non-binary to begin with. It's all just purely a combination of bigotry and insecurity, and statements like "no trans woman is binary" make that extra clear when it's mostly people who do not in fact identify as non-binary that are having these tantrums.
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