#possible existential crisis

[melishade]

when you think about it puss didn't beat Death he just gave himself more time

No one can beat Death.

Death is a force of nature. An inevitability. It does not care how old or young you are. When your time is up, it's up.

That's what makes it so terrifying. It cannot be stopped.

[brokendin0]

This is why I love nature:

You feel so big stomping through the mud, noticing the bugs on a tree, and observing the small stream flowing around the rocks.

Or you can feel really small while looking off to the mountains and realizing how much there is beyond what you see. How with the distance, you can’t see the fine detail, but the whole view is almost overwhelming.

I love nature.

Original

[wolfythewitch]

Crazy how the first half of the epic of Gilgamesh is ancient yaoi and the second half is about mortality and meeting death face to face and choosing to live a life worth living in spite of it all

[beaft]

finding out that most other people have an internal monologue fucked me up so bad i swear. what do you MEAN you have a little voice talking inside your head the whole time? does that not drive you nuts???

[aheathen-conceivably]

“Good morning, birthday boy.”

Both Antoine and Zelda were now well used to rising at sunrise, so the words hadn’t woken him; but they did pull him out of the nebulous ether between sleep and wakefulness, so he moved closer to the woman curled around his back, “Oh, is that today?”

“Don’t play coy with me. That’s my job.”

Her hand wrapped around his waist, down his chest and to his drawstring, “I’m an old man now, my love, how could you possibly want someone with such wrinkles? I do believe I even found a gray hair yesterday.” A light laugh sounded in his ear, prompting him to turn and face her, “You can be so dramatic for a stoic. Thirty-six is not old.”

It was getting harder to answer her, to keep his tone measured as one of her hands wrapped around his neck and the other grazed up and down his arm. He brought his hand to her thigh, just below the lace of her silk shorts, “Oh you don’t believe me, do you? You should have heard the creak my knee made yesterday. I think it even scared off one of the horses.”

This time she did laugh aloud, shaking his hand off her thigh by throwing her leg onto the other side of his waist and sinking her weight down onto him. Her tone was as close to mocking as it ever came, “Yet not a peep from mine. Thank God at least one of us is still young enough for this.”

“Oh you’ll see one day, young lady. It’s tough to get old…” But by that point he had all but given up trying to speak without his voice descending into sighs. Her lips were trailing down his stomach, just slowly enough to answer him with a smile he had to look down to catch, “Sounds terrible. You poor thing. I suppose I’ll have to take care of you from now on, won’t I?”

Antoine took another glance out the window, where the day had already somehow grown brighter than he realized; but still he didn’t hurry Zelda with the last of his buttons. She caught his glance and finished the final one, “Don’t worry. You’ll barely be late.”

He pulled her close to him before grabbing his hat from the hook on the wall, “I know. And Mabel’s bakin’ a cake for lunch, so I doubt it’ll be much of a hard day.”

“Oh, so you did know.”

“You don’t have a market on coy, my dear.” He pulled his arm away and returned her wide smile, placing the hat on his head before grabbing her hand one final time, “How ‘bout you bring Violette over after you and Gio finish up work? She can have some cake and you and Mabel can enjoy yourselves.”

She answered with a quick kiss before turning to dress in her own work clothes, “Sounds great, old man.”

After their morning tasks, Antoine was standing in the stables with Silver. Before his daughter got there or he got another minute older, there was one thing he knew he wanted to do; and if he didn’t have the confidence to do it today he knew he never would. 

She had been friendly with him for weeks now, and he kept hearing Abe’s words in his mind tempting him like a daydream, “You get her to let you ride her and you’re welcome to, anytime you like.” Only she wasn’t some trained horse, she was wild and distrustful. Sometimes her nostrils still flared menacingly in his presence and he thought that maybe, despite all their time together, she still even hated him. But as he ran his hand along her shining black coat, she blinked slowly, trustingly, and he knew that it was the day.

He went to the front of the barn, where he grabbed the riding gear that had sat tempting him every day. First he set the blanket atop her, then the saddle. He stopped periodically as he adjusted it, listening and looking for any sign of her anger, but she stayed patient with him each step. Finally he placed the bridle on her face and buckled the strap in front of her chest. It was like she understood that the movement had fully encircled her in some sort of trap, and she kicked her legs angrily as her eyes went dark.

Any other day he might have walked away, or undone the buckle around her chest, but today he knelt down in front of her so he could look her in the eyes. “Hey old girl, hey,” the words were half spoken, half whistled, “it’s me, okay? Just me. You can trust me.”

Her kicking stopped and her eyes seemed to settle on him, blinking slower and slower as he ran his hand along the side of her neck.

He walked beside her, letting out a shaky breath and putting a hand on her thigh. Alright, Antoine. Now or never. Don’t think about her throwing you in the sand. Don’t think about her breaking your back with one kick. He grabbed onto the horn and hoisted himself up onto the saddle. In the movement his knee let out a low creak and he laughed aloud, louder than he intended to, “Old man.”

Only his voice seemed to stir something in Silver, and she immediately turned to trot out of the stables. He grabbed the reins immediately and went over everything Abe had told him. Don’t pull too tightly. Stay calm. Your feet matter just as much as your hands. Talk to them with every move you make. Stay fucking calm.

Out in the desert sunshine, he passed Abe in his favorite spot next to the fire where he had sat to eat his cake. Antoine didn’t dare fully turn to face him, but out of the corner of his eye he could see his eyebrows raised impressively and a small approving smile on his face.

The closer they got to the edge of the farmyard, the more Silver seemed to remember exactly what she was doing, and perhaps even exactly where she was going. Her feet moved slowly at first, and then faster and faster as Antoine’s guidance grew more comfortable and confident. As the hills opened up and the flowers parted for them, it was like he forgot to be afraid or to wish that this moment was everything he had ever dreamed of, simply because it was.

[blabberoo]

Somehow im thinking of.... drifter and v1 dynamic

One accepting of death and one straight up doesn't .

[thelonemockingjay]

Hozier : ( rips out my heart and stabs it with a poison laced knife about fifty million times and kicks it down, spilling blood everywhere )

Also Hozier : " Anyway, "

[n-o-eyes]

comfort

[aaamadeus]

something about getting tangled up in quantum physics is so alluring when you’re just trying to do basic math homework; this is your sign to get an existential crisis and fall into a spiral of self-doubt from quantum entanglement and superposition and quarks and aaaaAAAAAAAAAAH

[s4pphic-sh3nan1gans]

i love loveeeee your bokris asks! so let's keep the party going shall we ✨ from what i've been reading in fanfiction about them it's always either bojan being totally oblivious about the whole thing and getting his oh. oh reaction only when he's told about kris' feelings straightforwardly and then he's like so THAT'S what this is about and that's what i've been feeling too OR it's both of them knowing but never acting on it but what do you think about kris being the oblivious one instead like being in love with bojan the whole time but never realizing it properly until some time and first mistaking it for despise for some prick playing his father's song with distortion for some reason and then mistaking it for admiration and wanting to be like bojan (not wanting to be with him) while bojan is in love too but totally aware of that and just being hurt about kris kinda not liking him at first and then getting girlfriend after girlfriend after girlfriend with all these relationships never working out in the end (i wonder why...). i've been thinking about that a lot lately tbh and these gifs with bojan looking at kris with heart eyes and kris being like whatever are just not helping lmao and at the same time kris WILL be like whatever and then bluntly and without a second of thinking say the most adorable things about bojan like. likeeeeeee. i'm sorry for the rant i hope that makes at least any sense 💕

hello there anon! what a delight it is to hear all your thoughts in my ask box 🥰

(gonna put this under the cut because it got pretty long)

firstly, I LOVE the idea of Kris being the oblivious one and I agree with you in feeling like it could suit them both so well. at first, Kris would be unimpressed with Bojan because of the whole distortion saga, and maybe his first impression would be just like you said - thinking that he's a prick (and wouldn't it be ironic if Bojan had the same thought about Kris initially too 🤭). but then as he gets to know Bojan, suddenly he actually seems interested in Kris as a person rather than just as his father's son, and after some time he becomes super touchy and clingy and Kris just thinks it's... odd.

fast forward some more time when they're more established as a band, and that's when I imagine Kris' admiration could come into play. watching Bojan on stage fills him with such awe because it really seems like it's what he was born to do, and he's damn good at it. but when Bojan begins to play up his mannerisms and direct them at Kris, it surely doesn't mean anything... right? Bojan's just like that, and it certainly never crosses Kris' mind that what he feels towards Bojan is anything other than friendship..........

and then the second thing you mentioned!!! I love that so much too. as oblivious as Kris is, the one person who immediately sees right through him is whoever his current girlfriend is at that time. Kris always thinks it's ridiculous and doesn't really see where they're coming from, but he never actually tells Bojan the real reason he keeps getting broken up with because, well. he's not quite sure why. but it maybe has something to do with the strange sense of embarrassment he feels for absolutely no reason at all... 👀

(and as a bonus because I'm thinking about this a lot now too, here's how I think their conversation could potentially go when Kris *eventually* gets his shit together)

"so, why did you get broken up with this time?"

"the same reason as always."

"which is...?"

"why do you want to know? it... doesn't matter much."

"because you never tell me. and I think it does matter if it keeps happening."

"..........okay! okay, fine. I keep getting broken up with because of... you."

"me?!"

"yes. they all say that I'm- or like, it seems like I have... feelings. for you."

"oh. and- I mean, do you?"

"what?!"

"do you have feelings for me?"

"I- um. I mean, we're friends so, I don't- I can't... but it's not just about me anyway! it's about how you act around me too, or I guess how we are with each other? apparently, it looks like you have feelings for me too."

"well, at least other people have noticed..."

"what do you mean?"

"...Kris, I've been flirting with you for years."

".................you've been WHAT?!"

[phoenixcatch7]

Why can't we have a batman is the spirit of Gotham au?

He already is, in meta, in character, in theming. Him and the joker. He is so very built upon what Gotham is made of, and Gotham builds from what he needs in turn, the setting of his story.

What if that is the reason he can take damage that would permanently ruin a physical career and come back? What if that's how he's managed to maintain his no-kill streak to such an extent? What if that's how he manages to maintain such high maintenance and all consuming identities?

For the heart and soul of a city containing all extremes, the richest nobility and the lowest of the poor, the cruellest villains and the most compassionate heroes, orphaned children and ancient lineages, a city rooted in fear and madness and grit-teeth determination and hard won kindness, what better choice could you find than Bruce Wayne?

But what if he wasn't alone in that? What if Gotham has sunk to such a low because its spirit is damaged and corrupted?

For the heart and soul of the cruellest city in the dc universe, the most unrelenting and uncaring, the one that practically laughs at your pain and suffering as you try to make it through another day, what better choice than the Joker?

[tadpoles-and-daydreams]

Still alive!

Sup fuckers (affectionate) I promise I'm still vibin! I will get to tarot stuff at some point, but I got COVID and then things just got so busy in my life that I couldn't keep track of it all.

However, I do come bearing good news; I've got a top surgery date! Early November I'll be disappearing off of Tumblr to go have top surgery :D

[randomdemon]

It bothers me that I will only ever be myself and no one else and I will never be able to touch another person's mind with my own and how I perceive the world will be based solely off of myself and I can never truly be with or apart of something because there is such a huge disconnect between what I think and feel and why and how and what other people see think and feel and there can never be true togetherness because we are our own and isolation is the price of intellectual freedom from a unified consciousness

[crowcryptid]

This year, MCC is going to be as old as Halo 2 was when MCC released.

And 2 is going to be 20.

[magentagalaxies]

vent incoming:

got my grades back for my courses last semester and most of it was to be expected, mostly A's, maybe an A-, etc. but i honestly can't get over the fact that my independent study (the buddy cole documentary) was for some reason given a B. like sure getting a B isn't bad per se, I usually get at least one B every semester and i honestly don't really care about what my exact gpa is as long as i can graduate, but come on. this school put me through months of psychological torment over this project and didn't even have the nerve to give me a B+??? i'm still coping with the self-doubt they forced on me and this bullshit is not helping!!

[torchickentacos]