#pls read it I need more ppl to suffer with me

[keeryd]

Old comic I did back when So Here’s to the Heartache (link added) first chapter got posted, I kinda wanted to make it digital but never got around it🥲 so enjoy, and if you haven’t read this amazing series pls do! It’s amazing

[c00kietin]

From the creators of: "Why is Basil best boy?", we present: "Why is Kel a silly little guy?"

(Also known as: "me rambling about Kel because i just had a traumatic flashback and need comfort")

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Why is Kel a silly little guy? - by me

1) He's silly!!!

Silly silly silly silly silly silly

2) He's the best

He's a ray of sunshine!! He smiles so much!!! And he's such a good friend!!! We all need him!!! He's ahsvsgdnrufrs!! He makes me so happy *screams, cries, rolls on the floor*

3) He has problems

No one escapes trauma in this game. He had a happy life but them *boom*, and he was like :c, and his older brother is more celebrated than him, but he's precious and deserves better, pls parents celebrate his existence because he shines like the sun, also he tries his best to cope with things :(

4) The skrunkly!

He's so cute!! He high fives ppl!

5) He sporty!!

Fium fium pah pah tuim

6) He's waifu!

wait what-

7) No one takes him seriously

Just because someone is funny doesn't mean that they can't suffer. Memes are cool but I wish the fandom valued him more

Thank you for reading! *dabs*

Omg I once more love the gifs- thank you and hope you feel better soon!! <33

[celestie0]

elleiieieieieieiei hi ☺️☺️ i have a question 😆

so i was re reading kickoff again and in chapter like 5 (i think) Suguru says something abt how he wishes a cute girl would bring him strawberry vanilla flavored sodas which made me curious

what does Suguru actually think of reader?? is he attracted to her in any way or does he just think shes pretty?? bc from another ask you said that reader is def considered pretty so like does Suguru also consider her pretty 👀👀 he also approached her first in chapter 2 and in chapter 6 hes also the one to invite reader to the pre-game party and he hugs her (friendly hug BUT STILL A HUG IS A HUG???) i’d love to know more abt Suguru and readers relationship CAUSE LIKE HES ALWAYS SO NICE TO HER IT MAKES ME WANNA CRYY AIDBWKMSN

ALSO OMG WHAT DO U THINK THE OTHER PLAYERS THINK ABT READER??

anyway thats all i hope u have a goodnight 💗💗

-🦌

hiii my bb <3

ouuu very interestinf questionnn i think i answered another ask briefly ab this, but suguru does NOT have a crush or any sort of feelings for reader 😃🤚🏼 i simply could not deal w writing any of that drama 🤣 (altho i kinda want a 3sum w him n gojo 😔…..if i ever write a kickoff gojo x reader x suguru pls check up on me. ovulation hit a little too hard that month)

he’s just a little flirty/smooth talker, plus what man wouldn’t want a girl to bring them a lil sumn sweet while they’re workin up a sweat somewhere bahaha i think that’s why he said that ab the strawberry vanilla soda

so to answer your question, he thinks she’s rly kind n cute and he’s privy to gojo’s feelings for her, and he knows reader is someone gojo needs in his life (even before gojo knew it lol). he’s sure they’ll start dating sometime soon so he’s just gettin a head-start on building that friendship w her. plus he’s just a nice boy 🥺💕

but yea he also knows about gojo’s trauma n suffering from the loss of his dad, so that scene in ch9 when she says those hurtful words outside the bar about gojo having it easy in life…….yeaa he heard those words ☹️ and he was not very happy ab it. but that’s ok 🫶🏼💕 friends forgive n move on

as for the other players hmm

nanami - lots of respect for her bc he likes ppl that have a craft they’re passionate about

yuuji - she’s casual tomboy

choso - he aint rly fuck w her like that but he was hella impressed when she slapped the sh*t outta ren so he might have to start

all other players - secretly hoping she’s getting their good angles in her shots

guy she kissed at that party in ch6 - “she’s cute but gojo looks like he’s gonna throw me into a goalpost if i talk to her again so imma lay off”

HOPE THIS ANSWERS WELL ENOUGH MY DEAR i love uuu 💕💕💕

- ellie 🦢

[helpmeplsplsplsplspls]

Hello ppl pls help me out

Vvvv important exams are approaching and I actually need to lock in and study and focus but i actually am INCAPABLE of focusing and I'm finding more hobbies instead (crochet, drawing, reading again, etc etc) and ANYTHING but actually studying and my mind is very much a mess and I am DESPERATE lmao

Idk how tf ppl can achieve sm when all I do is suffer in guilt as time passes bcs I have shit to do an hour later and doing sth before that that could possibly make me late to that makes me ANXIOUS UFUFPDOSLYUF (it happens every day 😇😇)

I'm desperately praying I'm not the only one with this issue bcs I'm starting to feel self conscious abt this lol

Anyways I rlly need advice on

- time management

- focus

- motivation

- overcoming executive dysfunction

- how to shut my brain up bcs it yaps harder than me fr

Help me p l e a s e I'm desperate enough to make a new Tumblr acc and actually ask abt this lmao (I am vvvvvv antisocial this is SCARY)

Yall are amazing thank you (pls help me so this thanks is for you help)

I think I might delete this by tmr this feels weird ktsljarkajrlsjtjslt

[sugarpuptard]

ppl saying yes to share about my D&D oc so her i go yippieeeeeeee! she's pretty much done but im still like trying to build lil personality traits and quirks that suit her and figure out more ways i can project onto her besides the one main thing she got going for her, if anyone wanna share ideas hand them over pls if the vibe fits i need it!! i feel like she could lowkey be jirai but idk if that's just me projecting my current interests onto her

also if you're the two other ppl in my bf's campaign that starts in september DONT READ THIS i have put a cognitohazard into this post that only affects them two and it WILL make you piss your pants and have the song yummy by justin beiber stuck in your head for a month YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED

ok if u didn't piss ur pants instantly you're not them and ur safe, so onto my scheduled ramblings

my character's name is Em (short for emulate) and she's a changeling infernal (mom=changeling & dad=demon, we're using a lil bit different way to build characters but i can't remember the damn name of the book my bf used for it) she's also an inquisitive rogue fiend warlock with an aberrant dragonmark (Eberron campaign yay) that i hate to draw because i made it look complicated asf, but she has to hide it anyways so she's not thrown into jail and blamed for the murderers of 1000s of people due to a bombing or whatever the fuck happened that blew up where she grew up, but im getting ahead of myself xD i'll do bullet points so maybe this wont be too long

- ABANDONED as baby .o. (Achievement Unlocked: tragic rogue backstory start)

- put into an orphanage in Cyre and a based asf worker there teaches her how to hide her mark and helps her hide it

- in and outta plenty of homes since she can change to suit anyone's tastes, but they all never keep her too long for one reason or another and she ends up back at the orphanage eventually. living was modest neither scraping by nor finding excess comfort, she manages to keep a positive outlook and just enjoyed the company where she can find it(the trauma from all of that tho still lingers a kid will be fucked up needing to pretend who they are all the time)

- girlie turns 18 and has to hit the streets cuz she's too old for the orphanage now. what do u do if you can look like anything and need food water and shelter? become a prostitute :) now she's not hitting the streets she's working them

- eventually doing all that led her to meeting a woman named Cala, and instead of taking advantage she offered Em a job as a spy working for a branch of the army of Cyre, which sounded pretty dope compared to giving huk tuah and shit to a bunch of weird guys so she said hell yeah. Cala quickly becomes her friend and they fall into lesbianisms but they had to hide it at work so no bs happens

- age 19: during the end stages of the last war Em served by assisting with a few espionage missions getting behind enemy lines using her talents to make entry points for other troops to move in

- age 20: The Day of Mourning... during that day she was on her way back from a mission from Thrane investigating rumors of fanatical religious extremism, deciding to bail and rally reinforcements upon seeing it related to aberrant dragon marks. as she made her way back on horseback, the Mourning occurred and she could see the explosion within the distant city of Cyre painting the skys with smog. she tried to return, but the guards who managed to survive were creating a safe perimeter of demarcation and denied her entry, informing her everyone within the city had died and that she would fare no better.

- age 21: Em moves to Sharn and found out Cala survived and had the same idea, they moved in together and bonded and was more lesbianism

- age 22: a protest about the treatment of Cyran refugees that Em and Cala were participating in got violent and both of them got injured. Em's were minor, however Cala suffered debilitating injuries not curable without the help of divine magic

- age 23: Em tries to get Cala treated but unknowingly brought her to a division of Thrane extremists known by them as "the chosen" based off what they said, the group captures them and tries to make them "hosts" for whatever entity they work with. they succeeded with Cala since she couldn't fight back but Em managed to get away when they got confused over her aberrant mark. she doesn't know what happened to Cala exactly, and part of the conversation ritual affected her mind in a strange way and gave her a magical affliction from whatever force the chosen serve. it feels at odds with her infernal heritage but oddly feels good to use it, like it was rewarding her for using it

- age 24: Cala is gone so the city took her house away rip. Em is back on the streets because of all that

- age 25: doing ykw she meets a guy who also has an aberrant dragonmark, bro freaked out until Em showed hers. they shit talked the government and talked about their heritage for a bit, and since things are getting too risky for people like them they plan to run to escape persecution. shit happened and there were guards blocking the way to escape the city and they got caught. the guy tries to fight back and gets killed for that, so Em just let herself get arrested and is now in jail

so uhhhhhhh thats it, the campaign starts with all of us in jail lol xD i seem to be unable to write her backstory in a short way oops, oh well

[tommstic]

WELCOME TO TOMMIE’S CORNER!!1!!

Pls read before following…!

About Me:

Hai!!! I’m Tommie! This is my personal blog where I post about my interestzzzzz!!!

I lov MLP, CSH, 1 Trait Danger, Invader Zim, Sanrio, Bluey, DHMIS, Clone High, furry culture, and my OCs!!!

I AM AN ARTIST!!! I currently run a comic called “Finns Sonaverse Reroute!” And it’s linked at the bottom of the post!! It updates every 2 weeks

I consider myself a scene kid and I rlly wanna get more into that whole style!! I’m currently 17, but my birthday is July 17th :3

I have DPDR and ASD and they are important parts of my life. Pls don’t say anything that could possibly trigger a dissociative episode and don’t be offended if I miss a joke, it’s not your fault :,)

I use he/it/ghost pronouns, but I don’t mind if you choose not to use the neos! I am aromantic and FTM.

I speak English and Spanish fluently!! I’m currently learning Hebrew, Norwegian, and I’m going to start Chinese soon :]

I’m a mixed Latino American [European and Caribbean] and I’m proud of my heritage!! 🇵🇷🇩🇴🇮🇹

I’m a furry!!!!!!!! Fellow furries, I’d love to be moots :D As a therian, this acc is a safe space for all Therians!! You guys are the sweetest!!

Sorry for the random bolding, it helps me read better cuz I have difficulty reading on screens :(

Warnings:

I might post disturbing art, talk about sh and ed, mental health thingz, and other weird topics. If that makes you uncomfortable pls block the tags “tommiegore” and “tommiefood” cuz that’s what I’ll tag it under. I don’t glorify ANY of those!!! I just talk about my struggles and urges :((

I’ll sometimes post about being a therian or agere, so if you don’t wanna see that just block the tag(s) “tommiekin” and “tommiespace” respectively

If I don’t tag something, but it’s still triggering, I’m most likely suffering through an episode. Please calmly let me know what I posted and why it was wrong so that I can fix it as quick as possible once I’m in a better place :,)

Do Not Interact:

Nsfw accounts, illegal pr0ship (stuff like inc3st and p3dophilia…), ppl who believe in reality shifting (not the same as kin shifting), mlp haters, bigots of ANY KIND, anyone who hates my hyperfixes or interestz, anti-therians, anti-furries, toxic people :(, younger than 12yrs, ppl who don’t believe in mental health, radqueers, bi/pan lesbians, lesbiphobes, trollz who just wanna make my DPDR worse >:(

Other Stuff:

My South Park Blog

My Downton Abbey Blog

Anchorgutz Site

Finn’s Sonaverse Reroute!

My carrd

————

I’ll add to this post if I need to, but until then, this concludes your introduction to Tommie’s Corner of the Internet!!

[nfumbewalk]

All About Muertos

My double "Yes!" answer. Notice the shape the chamalongos are in. Kinda looks like a "Y." Lol! Cool. The chamalongos are in the "Yes, with blessings!" being all light sides up.

So this is about muertos. What do I know? A lot, with objective and subjective opinions and truths. I'm not one who believes much in "karma" and other New Age twattery. But I've figured out things out on my own. I encourage others to do this too. Challenge me even.

The muertos are very interesting topic. But they are also controversial, mostly because ppl don't understand them or their ways. I'm here to shed some light on misunderstood aspects of muertos and their behaviors, motivations, and sometimes odd things that they do. These are listed here in no order because its difficult to do so. My answers may surprise you.

When you have a close person to you on their deathbed, and even if they are unconscious ' they do hear you and are aware of your presence. Even if they have dementia - it doesn't matter. Talk to them normally!! Fit in as much as you can. They will remember!! Hold their hand, show love in your grip. I talked to my dad, who had advanced dementia and C. Diff, and I gripped his hand, looked in his eyes, and spoke of memories. Yes! Do this! My brother said he was busy talking to ghosts. 😢 Sure miss dad.

Muertos stay loyal. The most important ppl to muertos is their family, number one - then, their Muertera/o/ist (practitioner of Muerteria). Muertos are also predictable, because they are still human. My muerto makes his rounds. I get small visits daily, but big and loud ones every month, sometimes every other month. Rodolfo likes to assert himself in certain telltale ways. I talk about Rodolfo and his usual antics in this blog a lot. Loves making noise!

You can be dead, but not "crossed over." There are muertos that have passed, but don't accept their death or don't know that they have died, or possibly have suffered the worst - a violent, and/or unexpected death. My mother did not accept her death until last year. She died in 2006. It was because she wouldn't accept some trauma from her life - she had to let it go. Very common with muertos, but most ppl aren't so headstrong that they won't let things go from their life. Most do this fine, because Elevation and Freedom (Heaven) is much more tempting.

What's Elevation? A series (of Four steps) of stages that a muerto goes through to to perfect themselves before they can enter the beautiful light of Freedom (Heaven). Freedom is different than a Christian view of Heaven. Its a beautiful place of retirement where you do as you like. Many strive for further perfection of their souls. Others live their lives like when alive. If the muerto had terrible vices while alive, these were erased. No vices exist in Freedom. If someone was a hatchet murderer, they DO NOT make it to Freedom. They go to a special place in the Grode. I mentioned that place entries ago. Its a holding place for all muertos, where one side is for regular muertos, then the wrongdoing muertos go to another side of the Grode. If you are especially bad, there's a special hole for you known as The Peak.

How about ghost hunting? EMF's? Paranormal Phenomena? Read here carefully. The ghost hunting thing was a fad. Pls, don't do it out of respect of the muertos! For them, it makes them upset - they get jolted, wired, anxious - that's why they gave phenomena!! And like I said in my "All About Graveyards" post - I'll repeat: Muertos hate EMF, they despise it! It is akin to a very loud bass speaker in the ear! Muertos love anything that gets RID of EMF like Orgonite and Shungite. I have an Orgonite pyramid on my muerto, Rodolfo's altar. He loves it, almost as much as my Baston de Muerto!

What About Wandering Spirits & Repeat Hauntings? Leave those alone. Let the muerto wander and the repeat, repeat. You don't need to "heal" it or "solve" it. If the muertos bother you, I recommend "Espanta Muerto" plant or my mixture, "Espanta Espiritu." I give it out for absolutely no cost but give me a good background story! 😊

What about Ouija boards? I'm a mixed bag. While I see them as a functional divination device to perform necromancy, I also think that they are a hoot when your a kid. It was my first ever occult object that I used with my best friend. It was a very long time ago...Madonna was in her "Like A Prayer" phase and I despised her, rather listening to The Cure's Lovesong. Around the same time...I didn't have cable television! Lol! Good times! Anyways Ouija boards are best prepared for necromancy work. I may post a ritual on how to prep a Ouija! Like & reblog if I should! 💖

Sex and muertos - very heated discussion: I can't remember but I think my late friend Leilah Wendell may have touched on this controversial subject. My view is very open-minded. Though this will not be in my book. So, can you naughty with your muerto? It is *mentally* possible. This wouldn't be too hard, a visualization with stimuli. Spiritually, I also suppose so. But physically, impossible. It would have be disinterment and necrophilia. Those who are in Muerteria are very against this. Any crime against the muertos is shame on your spirit and soul.

Questions

Does my loved one watch over me? Be specific. But yes, they watch in a detached way...BUT arrive very quickly when something may be happening or will happen to you!

When I see certain times on the clock (like 11:11) is it muertos? It is likely them telling you to get off of your arse and do it! Its NOT just angels with this whole timing gig. Its muertos, too.

Oh, do muertos watch me in the shower or when dressing? Or sex? No, unless they are creeps in life . Really though - do ppl watch you dress or shower normally? Doubtful. Muertos have other shit to do. Like elevate!

Do the muertos hear me pray? Yes, of course they do.

What is a good prayer for the muertos? Try Psalm 23, a standard. My muerto also loves Psalm 91 - a comforting and protective psalm. I never heard of this one until Rodolfo told me to look it up. He also likes Psalm 52, but I think that one is his personal thing.

Can I ask to see them, without ghost hunting, etc? Yes, you can. Just be clear. Know who, why, when, and where. The 4-W's. You may not see them physically. It takes practice. You can try an ordinary glass hand mirror, a black mirror, or a dark colored bowl of water to see muertos with. Some find that regular surfaces like mirrors and clear vases of water work better - as in my case. his is known as scrying. In Muerteria, we refer to scrying as "Sighting." Sighting is a very big chunk of Muerteria's founding principals and holy rituals. If you do not see them, you probably need an offering. In Muerteria, we use a floral water (rosas, naranja, lavanda - one of these) and alcohol mixture in a very small bowl, plus Wood Aloe or Sandalwood incense. This helps to draw them. You can take the floral water to the graveyard too, to pour at the right edge side of your chosen ones tombstone. To invoke. 😊 Being necromantic is fun sometimes but can spook you off your tits.

You must have shit happening all the time!??! - A Customer. Yes, I do! But it doesn't scare me, its just me saying: "Hi, Rodolfo! What do you need?" Then I figure out if it was him. Sometimes I have to put out more candles and water glasses, with an extra prayer. I get visitors from time to time. No big deal. I've been subject to curses by a couple of other women, but they don't go far. I get a few symptoms, do an egg limpia, and all traces are gone! One woman is a Santera. One is a Witch. These limpias are also attached to energy cleansings with Rodolfo. He is my magical partner. I taught him - long story...we met originally in 2012. I'll have to tell it. 💀

Do you have to be gifted to work with muertos? Well, kinda. It helps a lot. But!! No fear, now! There are ways around it - seriously. Getting really good at divination can help, and heightened empathy as well. Plus access to HTDE (Highly Transmutable Death Energy) helps. What's involved with that? Having human remains related to you - not bought at an online shop. Those have no HTDE. Having ashes of a loved one, or a bone. Not digging anything up. I have my dad with me. He's **charged** with HTDE. I've posted what it is. It is the condensed form of our DNA, the spiral of life, that keeps us alive, holds our power, through generations and is repeated through reproduction. It never dies. So ashes always contain power but it does fade after about 30 years. Sooo....expanding empathy, access to HTDE, or simply Death Energy could help too, it just seems so little for me.

I was really disappointed when I looked up death work here on tumblr. It was very underwhelming. I saw nothing new. Same Greek/Roman stuff, some hoodoo stuff, boring. Trite. I didn't even learn that way. I had Leilah from the beginning. I found her in the 90's, interviewed by Gothic magazines and small press articles. No internet. Little necromancy interest in books by bigger publishers.

What shaped me was my first hand experience with death and Santa Muerte. Not everyone meets her at 8 years old. Not everyone almost gets killed crossing the road. Good thing I was minimally injured, my glasses taking the beating. But that was very expensive for my parents. They could barely afford a new pair. The couple that hit me gave my parents all fraudulent information! At least I was mostly unscathed and I believed that the "Lady Angel" as I described her to my dad, protected me.

Anyways, just a ramble.

M.M. 💖💀💖

[s-rolldown-s-fork]

Ignoring me means agreeing to kill me, my child and my family, I am Hadeel from G🍉 My husband was killed and I became a widow in this war and my child is an orphan I lost everything, my marriage, my home, my work, my future, my life and everything My mother was injured and we are now homeless We have been displaced more than 14 times My child needs milk and diapers every day I cannot provide them We are 13 people in need of water and food My family's children have become orphans and I am responsible for them and I cannot provide them with food Read my story to understand the suffering we are going through and give us 💰 Please talk about my story and write about it to help us survive This is the link to my campaign GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/iam-palestinain-in-gaza?utm_medium=customer&utm_source=copy_link&utm. _campaign=fp_sharesheet&lang=en_US

Hi po thanks you for reachung out I'll be sure to reblog and share your story and campaign

To other PPL reading this: pls don't hesitate to donate as this campaign is vetted by 90-ghost and northgazaupdates

[louisysl]

personal trauma dump under the cut pls ignore i just need to let this out but i don't want ppl reading it i just have nowhere else to pour this

i've always had a very weird relationship to my parents. it was pretty obvious throughout my childhood that my parents never wanted kids. mum even said it once straight to our faces; she wanted babies, not kids. i'm the middle child and the only girl, and she had postpartum depression after she had me, so i imagine i didn't get much love even as that "wanted" baby, and it certainly didn't increase growing up

i don't have a lot of memories from my childhood because it was so traumatic to me and my brain learned to dissociate because according to my therapist i wouldn't have survived if it didn't. my parents weren't the only issue, their abusive behavior was mirrored by my older brother and since my parents were so absent, it was my brother who took rather a major role as my abuser when we were kids, and for a long time i did put a lot, if not most of the blame on him. reflecting on it now as a grown up i feel it's unjust to place the blame so heavily upon him when he was suffering, too, and he was a kid, and he was literally just a carbon copy of their abuse

when i first moved out i didn't really stay in touch with my parents much and i was the happiest i'd ever been, finally free of the shackles that weighed so heavily on me. i unconsciously sought that abuse i had experienced at home though, in my new, free, young adult life and after numerous instances where i was sexually assaulted and even raped, i ended up in a relationship that had a lot of abusive traits - power imbalance, emotional abuse, manipulation... i can't really even think about it, even though it's been years now since it ended. in actuality i have no concept of time as far as my life goes, everything feels like it happened decades ago to someone else. not me, the memories i do hold do not feel my own, they feel as though they happened to a stranger and i was merely witness to it

anyway, long story short, i got back into the equestrian lifestyle after having lived on my own for some years and having somewhat made up with my parents, more specifically with my mum who always loved horses growing up and was the one to introduce me to the hobby. horses always played a huge role in my childhood, they were my escape, my only happy place, and i had to leave them behind for 8 years when i was a teen because my parents no longer wanted to financially support it and i obviously had no money for it on my own as a 14-15 year old full time student

slowly, with horses as our shared passion, my mum and i were able to form some sort of a relationship again and maybe i even felt like she cared sometimes. maybe she does, in her own way, but she's always also put herself first in everything she does. she never does anything for someone else that doesn't benefit her, she's just not that kind of a person. which is hard for me to relate to when i'm the complete opposite and i find it very hard to understand not having any desire to help out of sheer goodness of one's heart, out of empathy

in the present moment my mum has bought a horse for herself and so has my dad, who got into horses just 3 years ago. he's realistically not experienced enough to own or be responsible for a horse on his own, but with the right support team around him and the horse, it's possible. and i'm part of that support group due to being experienced

i'm in a way in a very lucky position that i could only ever have dreamed of. i always wanted my own pony, but i always knew it would never happen. mum always said she'd never, ever buy a horse. it wasn't until a couple years ago when she started to entertain the idea, but her actually going through with it is still rather a shock to me

i think she really tries, in her own way, to allow me in. but it's always on her terms. sometimes i get lulled into this comfortable state of mind where i think it's safe for me to not be on my toes at all times, that i can just be myself and every little thing i do won't lead me into trouble i couldn't have predicted

we've had mum's horse since last autumn, and mum has completely lost her cool with me in the stables, in front of others, quite a few times. and i'm someone who self-reflects a lot and i promise i try my best not to upset her, not to cause any trouble, but there i still stand, completely humiliated and unable to speak (my trauma response is to go mute, i genuinely, literally, cannot speak a word, no matter how hard i try) or defend myself, and mum will spit the vilest shit at me, accuse me of things that are horrible and untrue, even i know they aren't true, and you'd be hard pressed to find a person who dislikes me more than i do myself

and i find those same abusive dynamics still play out, even though i'm grown now, and i live in my own apartment and i'm somewhat independent (yet by large so very dependent on my parents due to circumstances i can't currently change no matter how hard i wish i could)

i still have to tiptoe. i'm still the one the fault falls on, like i always was at home - there are stupid examples, like when my dad hit his head on a mirror door that hung above the sink and he automatically, without thinking about it, blamed me for having left it open and i got in huge trouble. and it most definitely wasn't my fault, i hadn't left it open! but did that matter, did he ask? did he even think something shit could happen, an accident could be caused by someone other than myself? that i wasn't automatically at fault? no. no, he didn't, because it was always my fault, if something was shitty, if something was out of place, if anything at all was ever inconvenient. if someone could be blamed for something, it was always me, and i was always blamed. even my little brother still brings the fact up sometimes, because it was so unjust and based on nothing but their tendency to place blame on me

just yesterday i walked in to the stable to find mum speaking shit about me, because i have chronic back pain due to which there's one task at the stable i'm unable to do, and she doesn't take it seriously. she'd just scoffed at me saying "your back will hurt anyway", when i said i couldn't do it, because it makes the backache worse. and she really didn't care, because if my backs gonna hurt, who cares if it hurts more? she certainly doesn't, because it's inconvenient for her that there's something she'd rather i do that i really just can't. and do you think she told those people that i have chronic back pain? that i won't do the task because i'm physically unable to? no, of course not. she painted me out to be lazy, i'm sure, slagging off because i'm just so spoiled, that's what i'd guess based on history

and i swear i can't imagine other people had such mean shit said about them by their parents when they weren't around. i sometimes heard them speak shit about my siblings, and it's not regular complaining, it's vile, evil language, one i just can't understand you'd use to describe your own child. and if they said that about my brothers, imagine what they've said about me

it's very complicated, because they have this huge thing to hang above me; they allow me to be around horses, my literal lifeline, something i wouldn't have if it wasn't for them, something without which i literally wouldn't care to live, and i do mean that in the very fucking core of it, i really would not care to be alive

but because they allow me this one thing, they have something powerful over me. something to hang above my head. something to use when they want me to feel shit about myself, to feel guilty, to feel at fault, to feel spoiled, to feel whatever the fuck they want me to feel about myself

and this must all sound like such stupid rambling, like i'm complaining about nothing, like i'm so spoiled and ugh, i keep questioning the validity of my feelings. thing is i can't explain it. i can't explain lifelong abuse in a way that does it justice. nothing i say amounts to the gravity of it.

it's just. it's this cycle of abuse that i keep falling victim to. and i sometimes blame myself for not holding them accountable. i've forgiven my brother, even though he put me through hell, i was so terrified of him growing up you have no idea, i can't put it to words - once i ran into the bathroom terrified of him, because it was the only room with a lock, and i called my parents absolutely sobbing out of sheer horror and their response was so cold, they made me feel like i must've done something to deserve that kind of reaction out of him, that i was dramatic, that we needed to sort it out between ourselves because they were too busy (too uninterested)

like.. your child calls you, tells you they've locked themselves so they can't be literally beat up by their bigger, older sibling, and you couldn't give less of a fuck - nah, better yet, you blame that fucking child for having caused it. yeah, beating me up is certainly justified, that's just how shitty i am

it feels so weird, playing this one big happy family at the stables, as if my childhood wasn't hell, as if my parents aren't the very fucking reason i can't function normally and as you can imagine, they do make me feel proper shit about that, too. as if it wasn't their fucking fault, to be very frank, that i am the way i am. it's their god damn abuse that fucked my brain up. and they hold no responsibility for it... and i don't hold them accountable, because i make excuses for them. because i see the best in people. because i hang on to those moments of peace and ease, because i need those, and i can withstand so much shit for a moment of it. it was evident in my relationship, it's evident in all i do, it's all-consuming, it's in everything

[edgaralienpoe]

hi, i’m back as promised. my actual reactions are under this post (and it’s reblogs) it’s well documented 🤣 also forgive me!! this ask is quite a long one 😭

we’re in on it for the same reason!! 🙃 i discovered park jihoon earlier last year bc of at a distance spring is green and i was hearing news abt this new show he’d be in that his character strays away from the boy next door types he’d been playing.

initially, i thought the show was quite unrealistic (the part where they managed to successfully stop some huge scheme that was going on, yeah, high schoolers?? fr??) and i hate seeing that in shows that someone mirror reality but i changed my mindset, started just looking over the unrealistic parts and immersed myself in the found family of the trio 🥹 (big mistake, really fucked myself up there). also it’s true what you mentioned abt the violence bc it’s somewhat a peek into why people did what they did to survive in the hellhole of a school (or show lol)

i thought it was well done for something so short (minus the first quarter or first half 😭) specially loved it when we started seeing into the trio more? I LOVED THEM SO MUCH AND I KNOW THAT IF CIRCUMSTANCES WERE DIFFERENT THEY COULD’VE BEEN REALLY GREAT FRIENDS! you can’t tell me otherwise :(

about bumseok, my thoughts in the posts/rbs are not representatives of how i think of him today pls do not take me seriously 😭 i was just rlly mad at him and looking for someone to blame when i knew (or know now that) it’s not his fault. i think all he ever wanted was a place where he felt like he belonged and for acceptance and for ppl to look at him as their equal rather than smth to look down on. while i think he really misinterpreted the situation with sooho, we also can’t blame him for feeling that way bc it’s all his ever seen so far :( i hurt for all three of them but presently, i hurt for bumseok most bc i know that everything he did wasn’t his fault (it was his decisions to do the things he did, yes, but everything leading up to were beyond him).

what hurts more is that nothing will ever be the same from this point on and there’s no happy reunion for them (also weak hero the webtoon is more on sieun’s life in that new school). and even if they meet each other further down the line, i don’t think i’d like to be happily friends with someone behind my being a comatose and we just have to live with that conclusion.

if there are specific points you want to talk to me with, feel free to do so bc i need prompts to bring up those traumatic memories (the show) HAHA i’m just thrilled that someone else has watched the show bc i have been suffering in silence for a MONTH. i actually got sad for days after watching it so i feel you. i hope talking to someone else abt it helps with the post-show depression 😭

ok so I just woke up and I wrote so much... I don't think my phone nor Tumblr are gonna like that://

some clothing piece that was rEd and read 'keep pushing' at the back like a warning or maybe it was positive. then bumseok being almost naked while his dad was hitting him, when he's generally fully covered and you can even see his arms when he's at school or hanging out -could also be to hide bruises and stuff :((- 

like you, bumseok made me feel so conflicted, cause we kinda know why he ended like he did but also, a person can't just excuse everything on their trauma.

I loved the first scene on episode eight, when the three of them were together but sieun is left alone, because that's just how the show started and sadly, how it ended. and like you said, even if they find each other I don't think it would be the same because all of them hurted so much from that to the point that I don't think they're the same people anymore, would you like to see them back together? A lot of people want to.

who was your favorite character? What made them your fave? (I saw you talking about keep watching because of suho but maybe that changed)  do you think there was something else between suho and bumseok? I saw people take the whole situation as bumseok having a crush on suho -that would make sense because of how impulsive he got - but then some people took it as bumseok just wanting to be like suho and reading too much into what he was doing (kind of what you said) again sO complex

[orcelito]

Anti-abortion ppl r so dumb like "We will never back down from protecting pregnant women and preborn children from abortion" like cool. Cool cool cool cool. "Protecting" pregnant women from having the choice to prioritize themselves and their health (both mental and physical) while "protecting" things that are barely human from being terminated and thus subjecting an eventual human to a life that is probably Shit bc you won't support the mothers or children after they're born & certainly most of the "pro-life" hypocrites won't. So like. Great. Great on you toting your holier-than-thou attitude without Actually caring for the lives of the people you claim to be protecting.

God I hate them.

[sokkagatekeeper]

mx sokkagatekeeper i need your help

my best friends doesn’t really see zuko gay and i don’t know how to analyse this to her (we often analyse text and share opinions) because i’m not good with words. i know his homosexuality is in the text and i’ve always seen him as gay so to me it’s actually canon

i don’t want to impose my opinion but i don’t seem to explain it like the topic deserves.

pls help me

i apologize for the delay on answering this ask!! i wanted to gather the most analysis i could in one post (and also had to eventually come to terms with the fact that i can’t gather literally all the evidence in one post; there is simply too much) since ppl are always like “where’s the essay?” well here. here is the essay, and you (your friend?) gave me the perfect excuse to do so without seeming more obnoxious than usual. so! i wrote a little thing that didn’t go as in-depth as it could go but is clear enough here, and i also dance a little around the subject of zuko and his problem with gender expectations here. i will probably copy-paste the entire paragraph that’s relevant to this analysis later so you don’t have to read it but. it’s a good post imo. anyway!!

before i begin i just want to say that (despite my url) this is not to #gatekeep or whatever. but tumblr does love to talk about how no atla character's sexuality is confirmed, and how claiming that zuko is bisexual or any other variation is not homophobic, and how zuko was written as being attracted to women on-screen. and they are right, in a way; reading zuko as bisexual is not homophobic... but merely, in my opinion, incorrect. and, on the flip side, making an analysis on why zuko is gay is also not inherently biphobic. and one can assume that i'm unlikely to make a biphobic analysis since i am. a bisexual person.

another note: i don’t think anybody who reads zuko as gay is delusional enough to genuinely believe the creators intended to code him as queer, when the author’s interpretation contradicts and/or takes away from the quality of the text, authorial intent is not that relevant to the best possible reading of it. in my opinion of course!

now. to make a queer reading of a character (and i mean reading of the text, which is not the same as a headcanon) one may take into account: what the themes the character portrays are; what their character arc is about; allegories; character development; struggles; stakes and expectations from the society they live in; as well as other pieces of dialogue or details and allegories that are reminiscent of the queer experience. in this post, i will try to gather a bunch of all these aspects of the narratives, themes, etc etc in an attempt to open the anon's friend's eyes to the revelation that is the gay zuko agenda.

also, like with all interpretations, this is not exactly me trying to “prove” that zuko is gay. he isn't gay; he's fictional. rather, i am explaining why i find this interpretation of his sexuality to be far more compelling than any other.

zuko’s coming out arc.

zuko’s arc has several layers. the two main that i can pinpoint are him unlearning the fire nation's imperialist values, and learning that the abuse he suffered was just that, abuse. that it was wrong. but as is often seen in the themes atla presents, what often presents to be two different things have an aspect of unity, that they depend on each other in order to exist. these two aspects of zuko’s redemption accompany each other throughout. the reason why zuko (and azula) was abused in the first place is because of the fire nation’s imperialism; the degree of the abuse zuko suffered and the things he was punished for are a direct effect of the fire nation’s patriarchal society and its constrictions regarding gender. ozai wasn't just any evil father, he was the embodiment of the entire fire nation and its fucked-up values.

zuko is kicked out of his home, mostly for being compassionate, and for letting his compassion take charge of him rather than respecting the piece of etiquette that he was not allowed to speak in the war room. the fire nation is known to be against what it deems as weak, which happens to be anything that has to do with empathy and compassion, sensitivity and gentleness—anything that fits their idea of femininity. zuko is known to present these qualities the fire nation perceives as feminine and weak (especially in comparison to azula), and his father has little trouble sending him away in order to favor his stronger, smarter, ruthless, masculine, “flawless” daughter. zuko is taken by his uncle whom his father is ashamed of, spending years chasing the unattainable idea of finding the avatar and regaining his honor, while he develops a tendency to overperform aggressiveness (zuko’s trauma in itself makes him defensive, not inherently aggressive), and trying to suppress every possible weakness he may have to the rest of the world and himself.

so, in that sense, zuko's redemption arc is not just about him going from bad to good, but it is also about overcoming, unlearning, and un-internalizing homophobia (& misogyny) and all the expectations and constraints that surround masculinity. it's about achieving liberation from his homophobic abusive homelife and finding acceptance in a group of people who accept him for what he is (with his compassion and kindness and emotional expressiveness... and also for being gay). it's about achieving also self-realization and forgiveness. all of this reads as a coming-out narrative thru unintentional allegories all around. zuko's character arc is not explicitly about being gay, but its themes make it so that it can be read as a queer story, and in my opinion, it achieves a greater emotional impact if it is read as such.

zuko’s gender problems. (may or may not copied this from one of the posts i’ve made before lol i just wanted to have it all in one place <3 ok keep reading now)

despite all the suffering and abuse he endured, zuko grew up shaped by the privileges surrounding royalty and the upper class in general. his arc is about humbling him and understand the value in the lives of the poor and marginalized as much as it is about his very own self-realization and asserting he was wronged and treated unfairly by his family over and over. zuko comes from a place of privilege, but he is still highly empathetic and has a certain ease at unlearning his privilege (more ease than azula at least) once he is exposed to the world in its entirety rather than the blatant lies that were presented to him by the fire nation that he had no way of disproving. zuko is compassionate and empathetic despite being stubborn as hell because while growing up in privilege he still experienced certain marginalizations because of his blatant learning disabilities, and his gender presentation.

the fire nation’s society is ruled by militarism, imperialism, and patriarchy. it values what are considered masculine traits and qualities (leadership, cold-thinking, self-control yet ruthlessness, strategy, emotional suppressing) above humanity, identity, personhood and femininity. the fact that the actual societies in real life that inspired the fire nation may not hold the same values is very likely, since this is a very western perspective, but this is what appears in the text, and the way it’s meant to be read.

so shown as a child and heavily hinted at throughout the show, zuko is deeply, loudly feminine in a way that other people can blatantly see and judge him based on it. his self-realization involves breaking free of this pressure he has on his back to be “more of a man” than his personality allows him to. he overperforms a lot of his aggressiveness – the part of it that isn’t born out of his rage, that is – and he lets his anger flow. he is certainly masculine in a fair amount of aspects, but many of his core traits are (in western society, yes, and within the show) associated with femininity, such as emotional expressiveness, empathy and compassion, gentleness, and kindness. femininity is perceived as weak, and zuko is therefore perceived as weak for displaying these traits from an early age and especially in contrast to azula, who by contrast displays many of the “masculine” traits mentioned above (albeit the feminine qualities she chooses to display is what makes her perfectionism — she can be feminine, but in a masculine way, it’s messy and it leads her to a mental breakdown we all know this part).

zuko doesn’t fit at all into the ideal of cold, detached version of masculinity that the fire nation preaches, which is what deteriorated his self-esteem and drove him to overperform his traditionally masculine traits out of desperation such as his commanding stance or getting really good at fighting people, or even as small as being stiff as hell when he wants to show vulnerability or show affection even towards his uncle. he did all of this in order to try and fit better into the mold of the man people told him he should be. but no matter how hard zuko worked to repress that core, fundamental part of himself over the course of the series, he was never able to stick to a cold, ruthless, detached mindset, or stick to the constrictions of masculinity like he is expected to as a prince and as a man. he’s always intentionally and unintentionally working towards being better, and struggles to suppress the softer parts of him constantly.

zuko’s relationship with mai (also known as ‘mai is a lesbian’).

it is no secret that zuko and mai’s relationship is a dysfunctional one. on the surface this is because of zuko’s inability (or lack of will, who’s to say) to understand mai as a person with feelings and thoughts and a life rather than a girlfriend. and while this is true, it is also true that mai was not able to be the person zuko needed at that particular moment in his life, as a girlfriend, friend or otherwise. they both feel trapped, restricted, and misunderstood by the respective expectations placed on them, by their families and the structure of the systematic power they later choose to go against, and the threats that will follow through if they don’t fulfill these expectations. they also project the worst parts of their respective struggles with the power structure of society on each other. their relationship throughout book three rings very true and up until they get back together for some reason.

regarding zuko’s character specifically, his inability to see mai as anything other than “girlfriend” rather than a person comes from the prospect of the term “girlfriend” is part of the oppression he faces back at the fire nation, rather than mai being a constricting and oppressive person herself (which she is not). their relationship to me reads very much like a lavender marriage, as this post very well puts it.

other miscellaneous gay shit <3

there are a lot of little gay moments that zuko has throughout the show. for example, he never cares when pretty girls are attracted to him or flirting with him, including jin and ty lee. his reaction to learning that sokka has a girlfriend is also. interesting. and of course, his reaction to being set up with mai when they were children is to scream “girls are crazy!”. hmm

the blue spirit is a gay thing like, thematically.

so uh. qed. zuko gay!

my (nour) personal favorite Zuko Moment is in the firebending masters when he stands and watches the rainbow fire surround him and he says, very softly and with feeling, ‘i understand’ which is where our beloved i understand tag comes from. as this post very well explains its significance, “(...) zuko has lived his whole life associating firebending with rage and power and violence, so when he lets go of rage and power and violence, he loses his ability to firebend. and this cannot be separated from the fire nation's (and therefore zuko's) views on masculinity; in the fire nation, fire bending is masculinity is aggression, and part of why zuko cared so much about being a powerful firebender is to prove that he was enough of a man. so, learning the sun warriors' form of firebending, which is based in warmth and love, also allows zuko (who is NOT STRAIGHT) to redefine his masculinity. (plus...... yknow.... the fire is rainbow..........)”

[justsomeectoplasm]

I've moved him away from being a sky oc because. Reasons. But he originated as a sky oc and I think he qualifies here <3 his name is Orion, he uses he/vey pronouns (vey/vem/veirs etc.) and vey're. A bit stuffy and have a Better Than You attitude towards a lot of other ppl. He doesn't rlly care to put in the effort to be nice especially if the other person approached him first,, when vey were a moth vey got hit by a krill and he lost his memories of everything that had happened to him before, including his name + friends + such,,, vey work as a historian in the vault now. He can't speak and communicates with signs and using light magic to draw pictures/simple words in the air (his gloves help channel this, above other things)

(first and last images r outfit refs, the middle is more of a colour ref that is. Unfortunately quite old,, his design here is also old but this was what he looked like before I totally redesigned him out of being a sky character avdhrbhr) (ill leave where he ends up to u because all ur realms are SO cool and I'm awful at decisions abdjfnfjnr)

Please tell me if u actually get this ask because tumblr has been in the habit of not sending them for me ahdurrjjrib (also pls tell me if there's anything I forgot to say bc I'm on mobile and if i wanna check the post while typing this I have to copy/paste all my text every time 😔)

(A/N: Op your art is AMAZING. I love orion's design.)

No kingdom was selected, so I'm randomly choosing one.

The kingdom I'm placing your skykid in is: Melinka, the desert kingdom

"The feeling of the cool tiled floor was enough to wake up Orion. He rubs vey's eyes, feeling something on his cheeks ...sand? Yeah, that's sand. Vey're laying near a sandune that looks like it seeped in through the temple. Great. Where are vey?

Before he came here, he was told of this kingdom when the portals were replaced. A kingdom of vastness, it's lands mimic a sea of gold and abandoned temples laid scattered across the planes. Vey didn't believe it was another desert kingdom, his pride telling others to leave vem alone when vey're heading out to explore the kingdom. As a historian, this place intrigued vem. While vault is gone, Orion wanted to be the first to discover the secrets of this empty kingdom. And a kingdom without much skykids roaming around spells out that vey can get some bragging rights out of this.

But now vey're in an...abandoned temple? The runes of an ancient language and broken pillars certainly sells the idea. And the roof is partially caved in and orion is lying in the shade of what's left of it. And it's dreadfully hot. The coolness of the shade almost does nothing to help him.

....Welp. Beggars can't be choosers. If vey want to get some cool ancient story or artifacts out of this, vey better start looking. And their first step is to get out of this temple without suffering from a heatstroke."

• Maneuvering through the temple, Orion used his light glove to light the way. For a place that had an abundance of history, it sure is empty. The runes that are littered around the temple are a bit hard to read with it's faded paint, but luckily there were some spirits that were hiding around the corners, so Orion had a good chunk of info already jotted down.

• After exploring for who knows how long in the temple, Orion finally found the exit. The sun was already beginning to set. Did they arrive here at the afternoon? Wait since when did time move? Vey thought only home was capable of doing that. What a strange world. Shaking his head at veir lingering thoughts, he opens up his cape and start flying across the desert. He needs to find some more murals vey can document while there is still light.

• Orion flew for who knows how long across the desert. Everything looks the same and there's not a temple in sight. And with the moon already rising, vey felt his light weakening....wait? Him? Weakening? Preposterous. Vey could fly up vaults temple without feeling an ounce of fatigue. Is it because of the heat? He did feel a bit stuffy in these clothes. What's with this world? Vey mumbled something to vemself, obviously annoyed at how things turned out and he hasn't even explored an inch of it. Maybe he should meditate, head back home and restock some supplies- Is that a town?

• Orion squinted vey're eyes, trying to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. Yup, there's a small town, abandoned too. Half of it's buildings are sunken into the sand, but the other half looks like it's still functioning. Vey look into veir pouches. There's only have one recharge potion left, and since he didn't expect the kingdom to be this big, vey didn't bring a torch with vem. Deciding it's best to hide out in the buildimgs for the night and use the potion for the next day, Orion glides his way towards the abandoned town, hoping to find at least a decent home to sleep in.

• It was dead silent in the town. Even the wind seemed to stop howling. Orion feet sank into the sand as he walked down the empty town. Using his candles, Orion looked into every shop and home, trying to find one that doesn't look like it will crash on vem. He later picked out a small home, it's roof and windows still intact but the door is gone. When vey entered, it was as if time stood still in the house. The little decorations and furniture lay untouched in the house, covered in dust and cobwebs. Orion cautiously walked around the house and later discovered a tapestry. It depicted a family, like a portrait. He didn't know why, but Orion felt a sort of...connection on the tapestry. The same any skykid would feel when a spirit is near. Maybe vey should bring it with vem the next morning? For history purposes of course, not because of the family reminding him of the belonging spirits. Orion plopped his stuff down and laid down on a couch that was placed neatly in the corner. Vey slowly start to drift off to sleep, veir exhaustion taking over.

• "...he....y....HEY!" Orion jolted awake, almost falling off the couch. Vey looked around frantically before seeing...a human child? A living human child at that. "Who are you?" Orion looked sourly at the girl. Vey should be asking her that. He signed a picture with his glove, a question mark and an arrow pointing at the girl. "Me? I'm Kalina." She gave a grin, a tooth missing from her smile. 'Ugh. What the hell is wrong with her.' Orion thought as he rubbed his eyes. "You've got some weird tattoos on you. Why are they glowing? And what group do you come from to get those? The west? Or do you come from the east? Your tattoos look like the air symbols they got. Where's your group by the way? Did you get seperated? My dad told me kids can't get seperated from their groups cause the nightwalkers will get them, but I saw my older brother chop off the head of one and I gotta say they're pretty weak and-" Orion put a finger on the kids mouth, a sign for her to shut up. Orion does not want to deal with...whatever kind of human this is. Picking up their supplies, they start to walk towards the window, the human girl continuing her rambles.

• The sun is on the horizon now, the colours resembling the same as isle. Ah....how nostalgic. Orion wish vey could feel the same feeling vey had as a moth when he was born. Although, whenever he remembers, it's all so...fuzzy. The human girl pulled on his glove, to which Orion harshly ripped it out from her grip. The girl stumbles back, falling. "Jerk! I just wanted to see what's up with your glove! What kind of magic are you using? And why aren't you saying anything?" Orion rolled his eyes. He doesn't have time for such a tiny brat like this. Vey sign something, telling her no and that she should go away. The human girl pouts sticking her tongue out and Orion does the same before turning to walk out of the house.

• But he bumps into something hard and immeadiatly backs away as if vey heard a krill call. "Woah, sorry about that." A deeper voice. Orion looked up to see a human man. The girl excitedly ran towards him, holding his hand. "Papa! I found this weird kid sleeping here! They're old enough to have tattoos and they can't talk. Can we sell them our dragon skin?" The man smiled at his kid, telling her to go help someone before turning back to Orion. "Sorry about my daughter. She can get a bit too curious about people too much." Orion only stared at the man, veir eyes watching veir every move. It was a well built man, dark skinned and having some strange white tattoos on his arm. Except his looked more sharper than Orions marks and they don't glow.

• The man cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the awkward silence. "Well, I don't think you're here with a group, are you?" What's with these humans and groups!? Orion shook his head, his expression turning a bit sour. The man nodded and then asked; "What's your name? Mines Halfin" Orion immediately drew an x, signalling that he vey didn't want to give their name. The man stared amazed. "You're traveling with a magic item? That's very dangerous you know! Bandits might ambush you. Where did you even get that?" Halfin said as he stepped closer, to which Orion stepped back, his expression saying 'Don't touch me'. Halfin sighed and rubbed his head, crouching down to meet Orions eyes. "You know, I can see you're not...." He gestured towards Orion's glow that coloured the floor in an orange light "....human. And that you're not from here. That cape you have will attract too much attention to yourself and that it's too thick. What were you even thinking when you stepped in here?" Orion simply glared at Halfin, not signing anything.

• Halfin looked back at Orion, his smile unwavering. "I have heard that there were some strange flying children popping up across the kingdoms. Are you perhaps one of them?" He looked at Orions cape. "I heard that some don't visit this kingdom that often because of how hot it is here. So I'm assuming you came alone and without a map." Orion nodded slowly, wondering where this is going. "Our group recently lost a lookout. We need someone to help us keep a watch from a distance on our journey. So I was wondering..." He smiled softly. "Would you like to join us? In exchange, we'll give you a map. The journey isn't that long. We'll only be traveling for three days until we get to the city. How does that sound?"

• Orion scrunched up veir nose. Traveling with strangers sounds awful. He doesn't want to hang around longer with them and veir suspicions over him just got cranked up to 10. But....having the first map of the kingdom sounds useful. Vey could sell it for candles among the historians and brag about it to the cartographers that are always so annoying when they start rambling about the kingdoms. Vey click their tongue, frustrated that vey're actually going to choose the latter.

• Orion slowly nods, and Halfin clasps his hands together, his grin widening. "That's great! I just know our village would love you. If we go now, you can help out with the tents." Halfin reaches out to grab Orions hand and starts guiding him out of the house, Orion tripping over a bit to keep up with his pace. As they walk, the sun started to fully appear above the horizon and the unbearable heat started to get warmer by the minute. Orion took off veir hat, the fabric already absorbing the warmth of the sun and almost burning their hand. He looked at Halfin and wondered just what did he get himself into.

Additional headcannons

• Orion became quite popular among the children of the travelling group, which is awful because everytime vey tell them to go away or look down on them, they keep coming back and it's annoying.

• The markings on Orions arms became very praiseworthy in veir travels in Melinka. Some started to mimic the designs in the bigger cities, mostly rich people who have way too much time on their hands.

• After departing with the traveling group, the map became useful for Orion. He managed to found an incredible number of ruins and even a hidden underground library!

• Orion became an expert of the kingdom, despite the strange interaction he had in the beginning. Vey won't admit it, but vey sometimes missed the traveling group. He'll deny it if you ask him about it, though.

[ofgentleresolve-a]

🔥 (oKAY BUT ALSO??? BLACK KNIGHT!HYURICK, I?? I'll elaborate on this through the ask you sent me 👀 but I SEE IT, I SEE IT FROM HYUK'S PART, TOO? I hope it's okay to send these in ;W; PLS TAKE MUCH CARE AND I HOPE YOU'RE RESTING LOTS!!!)

@jeoseungsaja *cries in ‘this is completely my fault, but i’m still gonna cry over them anyways*🥲🥲🥲

HELLO AGAIN I KNOW I SAID ID ANSWER THIS PRIVATELY BUT ALSO I NEED THE DASH TO KNOW ABOUT THIS ONE TOO 🥺🥺🥺 if main verse hyurick is wholesome, sweet with a lonnnnng ass slowburn, then hyurick in black knight verse is PAIN AND SUFFERING…..with a hint of hope 🥲

( also this is me @ hyurick in black knight verse....FOREVER CONCERNED EVEN IF THEY BOTH SAY THEY’RE DOING FINE...THEY REALLY AREN’T I DON’T CARE IF DETECTIVE SOURFACE MAKES A FACE AT ME 😭 )

I’m so glad we’re on the same page here bc now?? I get to tell u my thoughts on hyurick in this very painful au that somehow spawned from wholesomeness shsisidjdj

i think it’s very much like you’ve said: both hyuk and Patrick fragmented, shells of the ppl they used to be….whereas hyuk is even more belligerent, apathetic, and isolated from the world around him, Patrick is more anxious, jumpy, and even quieter….the last five years have NOT been kind to them…😭 and yet they’re both still hyper focused on their respective goals ( hyuk: finding out the truth behind his best friend’s death and Patrick: protecting hyuk by taking down ANACHRON ). And by being fixated on these goals, they justify the  ( very self destructive ) lifestyles they lead.

something important to consider here is that when they do reunite, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they’ll revert back to the ppl they were before Patrick’s ‘death’…..I can’t speak for hyuk ( although any emotions good or bad he might feel is COMPLETELY VALID….patrick did lie to him and he suffered for five years over that lie ), but I know Patrick, when he initially reunites with hyuk, will have to acclimate to being emotionally vulnerable with another person. like of course, hyuk can still read him like an open book but it’s one thing to be able to read the book…..it’s another thing to be GIVEN THE BOOK to read if that makes any sense….basically, at the beginning patrick will definitely be hiding ( or at least try to hide ) the depth of his feelings/how he’s been coping with, well everything bc that’s something he would be mortified for hyuk to find out 😭 along with that, Patrick also has to relearn every detail about his dear friend bc it’s not just hyuk who has to readjust what he knows about patrick...hyuk has also changed drastically in the last five years- good thing this is a topic patrick is very passionate about studying JFKSLFJKSL

but….BUT I do genuinely think their rekindled friendship ( and eventually something else too ) is something that will be GOOD for the both of them. for one thing, hyuk has something to lose again, but in patrick’s case, he feels like his sense of peace was taken in those last five years, so i think being around hyuk, someone he feels completely safe and at ease with, would in a way give him back some of that peace, if that makes any sense...? basically i think in being each other’s home, it wouldn’t necessarily fix each of them, but in wanting to be there for the other, i feel like their relationship would encourage each of them to begin to piece themselves back together....not necessarily into the ppl they were before, but more into people who are stabler and overall, happier...but YEAH I JUST...hyuk has always been a cornerstone in patrick’s life and especially in light of what patrick has gone through, he understandably would want to find home again. but not just ANY home, he wants the one that makes him feel safest and the comfiest aka hyuk and so in this sense, the only two ppl i could see patrick ending up with in this verse is either hyuk or felicity...but felicity’s dead, so hyuk sorry ur stuck him 4 life 🙃

BUT IN TERMS OF JUST?? THE TOUCH BARRIER?? if hyuk is more prone to breaking it, pls expect patrick, once he acclimates to being around hyuk and knows hyuk will be around for the long run, to be even MORE shameless about giving and wanting affection from hyuk via touch bc a. hyuk needs the reassurance that patrick is here in flesh and b. hyuk’s presence reassures and calms him, great for the paranoia really. ( also just patrick holding hyuk back and like, at first just being surprised that hyuk actually stopped...also pls catch patrick in this verse to be stopping hyuk from fighting via hugs WAY MORE OFTEN 🥲 ) BUT...just expect patrick to be brushing shoulders and knees with hyuk alot, wanting to hold hyuk’s hand a lot, and a TON of resting against hyuk’s shoulder bc he’s TIRED and REALLY WANTS TO REST ON A PILLOW CALLED HYUK’S SHOULDER IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR 😭😭😭

i too could go on for hours about these two in this painful verse ( i take full responsibility for sjdfklsdj ) THANKS SO MUCH FOR SENDING THIS ALEX AND PLS HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY 🥺🥺🥺

[bella-donna418]

Happy Birthday Eren!

A/N: Been very half inactive here 💀💀💀

So it’s our special boy’s birthday today, I might as well make a headcanon like how I did with Mikasa and Falco's birthday (missed Annie’s birthday but like, I celebrated her bday IRL 😂😂😂)

And…

Actors AU again wew 😂😂😂

(Please don’t mind the timeskips)

~~~

Birthday boy's day today, so might as well make something for him 👉👈

Let’s go!

Mikasa was literally sitting at the nearest chair she could find in the set and of course;

It's her boyfriend’s birthday today and there’s no fucking way she'll forget about it.

But she can’t just let him get away without revenge!

That’s right, last time on her and Falco's birthday—Eren pranked them.

At least they got surprises and all—

But that’s not the point!

She needs to at least prank him back—worse than what he did. (evil ik 😔😔😔

But he did “indirectly” made her cry that time.

So she decided she’ll also prank him back then surprise him.

An idea then popped into her mind and she couldn’t help but grin to herself.

“Mikasa!” Sasha called, snapping her back to reality from her ‘annual brainstorming’.

She shook her head and looked at her, confused.

“Director is calling you.” She said while munching on a cinnamon bun (usual Sasha)

“Right.” She smiled sheepishly and stood up.

.

.

.

After finishing her scenes and all, she got back to brainstorming.

Oh, it’s also her break time so she could go wherever she wants, but she decided to stay and think for a while more.

Then an idea popped into her mind and she couldn’t help but laugh a bit to herself. And that prank was her ignoring Eren 😈😈😈 Knowing him, he wouldn’t care if other people ignored him. But he'd be worried asf and he could go crazy if she did (your Eren cares about Mikasa’s attention “only” your honor 😔😔😔) And the beautiful cruel woman mode is on. Eren was going to pick her up today for lunch since he also finished his tapings and all (also Armin and Annie's with him) He got out to wait and greet her like he always does. ~~~

Earlier…

Since EreMika and AruAni share a car (lol cuz why not?), knowing that Annie and is the earliest to finish.

Mikasa decided to call her, knowing that she’s the earliest to finish out of all of them, and Armin's probably busy at that time.

“Yo, Annie!” She casually said trying to stifle her laughter (Annie knows what’s up lol)

“What? You’re gonna ask another favor again?” (told ya)

“Can’t I just greet my friend? 🥺” Annie sighs over the phone and said, “What is it?”

Now this is when it gets ✨interesting✨

She told Annie all her plans and she decided to go along with it.

“Oh, tell Armin as well.” where she just received a hum as a reply.

Mikasa saw a glimpse of Eren at the entrance of the building and immediately went somewhere she can’t be seen.

The prank starts now 🤡

She immediately composed herself and put on her poker face.

Eren saw her from afar and smiled at her.

She literally feels sorry for him (😂😂😂)

~~~

5 mins earlier…

She was now facing the camera and she could tell that once Eren watches this he'll go “berserk”. (wild Eren 🤡🤡🤡)

“Eren, if you ever see this, I'm sorry. *awkward laugh* Happy birthday to you my loves. I love you.” (literally said that 😂😂😂)

She passed by him without even saying anything—she’s not even smiling! (Mikasa putting years of being a top actress to work here 😂😂😂)

Eren just looked at her confused and caught up to her side.

She won’t look at him and this made Eren a bit sad and more confused.

From what he remembers, they never argued or anything at all.

He's also wondering, ‘Is she ignoring me?’ ‘Is she in a bad mood?’

Going with the second option, he decided to give her time and space like what he thought she needed.

They got inside the car. (well the car is actually like a van, but let me call it a car ok??? 🤡)

Ok, their sitting arrangement is basically like this;

Eren and Mikasa

Annie and Armin

Ok back to the topic—

Annie and Armin were looking at them—well, especially Eren.

“Annie, water.” She looked at Annie who was literally skeptical about her lasting long or even not laughing.

She gave Mikasa her water bottle receiving a smile of thanks from her—Eren looking at his lovely bae (poor Eren 🥺)

Heads up! Everyone knew about it, and yes, when I say everyone, it’s everyone (ok wtf am I even saying?)

So, they were silent for the whole ride and nobody’s talking.

Annie's asleep on Armin's shoulder while he’s busy on his phone.

Eren was stealing glances at Mikasa while she’s also on her phone.

Please, his face is like, “Please notice me already. I love you 🥺👉👈”

If you’re wondering where they’re headed to, they’re going to a restaurant Annie wanted to try (but she’s too shy to ask to the point Armin instantly read her mind and she’s like “H-huh? I said nothing—“) which is also far from their workplace/s.

After a mere hour and a half, they finally arrived at the restaurant, and yay, everyone’s awake! (Kudos to the 3 henchmen for enduring the urge to sleep the entire ride, especially Mikasa)

It’s a fine-dining restaurant (rich bitches 😔)

So they found a table which is good for all of them (driver and assistant included)

To add salt to the wound, Mikasa decided to sit beside Annie (Armin letting her)

Eren only looked at her—not used to getting ignored this long. Why exactly? Because;

She doesn’t ignore him without any reason at all.

If ever they get in an argument, they’d make up and her ignoring him won’t even last for a mere hour or so because y'know.

She has NEVER ignored him this long.

Eren just shrugged it off, but he doesn’t feel good about this.

A waiter finally came to take their orders.

They each had different foods and since Armin was the one to bring them here (Annie's wallet gets saved by bae 🥺), he's the one to pay for all of them which he doesn’t mind at all.

Mikasa was quite clingy to Annie as well while she just went with the flow knowing it’s all needed for her prank.

Even though she’s questioning if it’s really necessary 🙃

After 10 minutes, their orders are finally here!

And of course, hunger doesn’t wait for any kind of bullshit ceremony and all so digging in they go 🍽🍽

They were a few conversations, Armin initiating them because Eren is too quiet (just a few more hours to endure 🥺) and Mikasa doesn’t want to initiate them and cut Eren off because he’s always the one to reply to her topics (it could come off as rude 😅😅)

And of course, everything was being filmed (yes, their assistant is also a videographer 😗✌)

So it’s basically 85% silence and eating (pls they just need a speaker and it’s gonna turn into an ASMR) while 15% are their conversations/topics 🤡

Eren is also on his phone while eating (ok I can tell ppl gonna yell at me for this 🤡)

And Mikasa's taking this opportunity to take glances at him and she couldn’t help but literally laugh to herself and look at the camera then mouth ‘sorry’

Annie's still skeptical and Armin is trying his best not to laugh or something I mean, Eren's still looking gloomy (fact: he doesn’t care it’s his birthday at all and just cares about Mikasa and all)

After a few minutes, they finished and have paid so they’re now on their way back. But the thing is… ~~~

Sasha cam

“Yo, they’re almost back.” She said after looking at her own phone and seeing Mikasa's message.

They immediately went on double-time mode and so far, the room's looking quite ready 🤭

And since they’re freer later at night, they decided to do the surprise that time (poor Mikasa gotta endure more of this torture prank she put upon herself 🤡)

And of course, Sasha’s filming this ✌ ~~~

7:36 p.m

They’re finally free from the shackles of work!

And yes, they’re immediately headed for phase 2 of the surprise for our birthday boy.

So, trying not to encounter Eren, Mikasa immediately headed to the place where she’s going to meet Niccolo to give her the cake (yes, they planned this carefully)

So she finally got the cake and she's on her spot (they all have different spots 😂)

They’re now all on standby and of course, Mikasa went to Zeke so he could bring Eren to the lovely spot since yeah—

About 2 minutes passed and they’re still on standby—and finally, Eren's here!

Eren didn’t even hesitate to open the door and when he did, his eyes widened a bit.

“Surprise!” Everyone greeted him but his eyes were just locked at a Mikasa holding his birthday cake and smiling sheepishly at him.

She handed the cake to Ymir and Eren immediately ran to her —hugging her (he's glad that his suffering is over 🥺)

Mikasa laughed and hugged him back and whispered “Happy birthday” to him.

He broke the hug and pulled her in for a swift kiss making Mikasa surprised.

“Are we gonna eat now? Sasha might finish all of this if Niccolo will keep giving her free servings.” Ymir retorted making everyone laugh.

“Geez, I wasn’t expecting her to ignore him for a full day.” Historia sighed a bit which made Mikasa laugh lightly.

Eren looked at Mikasa with his brows furrowed a bit and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Don’t do that again—” He was cut off by Annie who was now in charge of holding the cake (Ymir do be passing all her chores 🤡)

“Blow the candles now birthday boy.” She said—him complying while arms still around Mikasa—everyone making noises with party blowers while spraying silly strings everywhere after (bear the bad writing 😂)

“Alright! Let’s eat!” Pieck said while giving plates, spoons, and forks to everyone for all of them to finally be able to eat.

Of course, Niccolo is the sponsor for all of their food to eat 😂

Eren was now being a clingy baby to Mikasa which is just 🥺✨

The atmosphere was filled with laughter and everyone telling funny stories and jokes.

Of course, afterward, they gave him their gifts while he smirked and was like, “Mikasa's the best gift—” receiving a smack on the head from her—everyone laughing saying he deserved it.

~~~

A/N: I, personally think this is poorly written 🤡

Sorry bout that.

But overall, happy birthday Eren! YOU’RE 20 NOW AND STILL ASSLESS— 🤡😂

[1eos]

All these anons are weird and corny so here’s an actual query, I have the hag line cap stellium and am Saturn dominant, nd everything online basically says Saturn dominant ppl are born 2 suffer/lvl grind thru life nd I was wondering if u have a less…depressing take on it lol. tbh I don’t even find a lot of trustworthy takes on stelliums and/or planet dominance online so idk if it’s even something to stress abt but I feel like Saturn has been kicking my ass my whole life n I need positivity rn;;;

YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PERSON~!!!!!!!! literally i haaaaaaaaate the way ppl talk abt saturn its not that depressing. basically saturn dominant ppl are gonna age backwards nd thrive the older they get nd the more uhhhh life experience they acquire? so a lot of Saturn children are super serious but once they bloom into adulthood they will ironically then start to indulge in what makes them happy! saturn isn't actively trying to destroy you or make u suffer she's just trying to get you to change how you're looking at things. LITERALLY just this year i had a major saturian breakthrough nd if you ever have the chance u should read thru liz greene's saturn: a new look on an old devil bc it paints saturn differently. like a lot of the times when we get blocked by life we get frustrated nd can't see that there's something better for us. but here are some of my fave excerpts i think can help u!

but as a saturn dom i think its IMPERITIVE that you

-take life at your own pace bc the ‘live ur best life in your early 20s’ isn’t neccessarily for you. literally you will Never Peak it just keeps getting better.

-start treating yourself softer. you don’t HAVE to hold the whole world on your shoulders alone. its ok to rely on ppl. its ok to take breaks

-find the sweet spot between ‘some suffering in life is bc of things i cannot control nd has no bearing on me’ and ‘sometimes the growth i need will come out of an uncomfortable circumstance’ the point isn’t to identify with our pain but rather to….learn from it. accept it nd heal from it nd become someone that’s wiser from experience but softer from compassion. which i think is another great thing abt saturnesque ppl. like y’all know how to be firm nd get shit done but still with such a competent compassion 🥺 im sorry this ask is so long anyways but to explain my point my mom is a cap moon nd i always wondered if she didnt like our dog much bc she doesnt really pet her but i found out my mom went out of her way to boil dog treats so they’d be soft for my elderly dog to eat nd i think that sums up cap/saturn energy. a practical but not always seen care

-oh and possibly most importantly. do some soul searching nd ask yourself if what you’re struggling for is what you REALLY want in life. nd then ask if you TRULY believe that you deserve it. bc in my experience the times where saturn pushed against me the hardest were times were i was fighting for something i THOUGHT i wanted but i really didn’t. if you’re unaware of something in yourself saturn will beat u over the head until u get it but the process doesn’t have to be miserable you know? the journey of self discovery should be, in the end of the day, full of levity bc it’s a step closer to the idealized self you’re working for.

sorry this is so long i just have a lot of thoughts abt saturn nd ik what its like to have her beat the snot out of u i hope this help pls don’t hesitate for more excerpts, venting, etc i live for this